Who Are These Podcasts? - Ep561 - The Jubal Show
Episode Date: October 13, 2024We’re still celebrating Jocktober on WATP and today we’re checking in on another show out of Seattle. If you love prank phone calls with silly voices, first date follow ups with scripts and actors..., and trivia with idiots, you’re not reading this right now. If you hate all of those things you’ll enjoy our take on this generic morning show. Bryan Johnson eventually gets his power back and joins us to help us understand how to use cookies to catch a cheater. For cringe of the week we check out UBC’s code of conduct when it comes to offensive comedy and microaggressions. We found an old Tom Myers’ appearance on Ryan Hoppe’s radio show in 2013 and Tom sounds like the intelligent person out of the two of them. Aaron Imholte is calling me out for goofing on Stuttering John and he finds the worst angle possible. It’s almost like he’s dumb. Stuttering John has ClayDabbler on and Clay is speaking too much truth to John, I wonder how long that will last. And finally Maribeth joins us for a round of To Poke A Dabbler, we tease the next episode, report on the internet news, read your recent reviews, and listen to voicemails. Get Magic Mind – https://www.magicmind.co/WATPSHOW20 use code WATPSHOW20 for 20% off your purchase or 48% off a subscription Tell Em Steve Dave - https://tellemstevedave.com/ More Maribeth Rosie – https://onlyfans.com/maribethrosie Support us, get bonus episodes, and watch live every Saturday and Wednesday: http://bit.ly/watp-patreon https://watp.supercast.tech/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Today's show is brought to you by Magic Mind, the world's first mental performance elixir
that sharpens your mind while relieving your stress.
Visit magicmind.co slash W ATP show 20 and use the promo code W ATP show 20 for 20% off
a one time purchase or 40% off your subscription.
It's another Jubal Phone prank.
Good day mornings on the 20s.
Episode 561.
Are you a boner guy? Oh, I was a boner guy. You know what? I miss penis. I'm the one who should apologize.
Is it gonna be absolutely riveting?
Is it gonna change your life by any stretch?
Probably not, but it's gonna be at least entertaining, okay?
By the way, for those people that are in the back remember to shut the fuck up cuz cuz a row cuz a row slapper Rooney it's showtime Hello, Robert X. Coutureuse. Welcome to another episode of Who Are These? podcast, the only show that leaves you wanting less.
I'm your host, Carl.
With me today, the man who only looks like a wise man from Tell Them Steve Dave, it's
Brian Johnson, everyone.
All right.
Just like we rehearsed it from Tell Them Steve Dave, it's Brian Johnson everyone All right, but just like we rehearsed it from tell him Steve Dave, it's Brian Johnson
Brian Johnson's power went out today, so I got a text from this morning saying it's like him and 130 other houses
There's no storm or anything. This is their power went out. Someone probably drove into a transformer
I know it's hard to make left turns in New Jersey
So he doesn't have power he said that if he does get power, he'll hop on here
But fucks up our review girl for today and our co-host
Sure does we're gonna push through producer Chris and myself
Are gonna let you know that you can go to who are these comm to get our email address voicemail number link to our
Subreddit link to our discord server link to our merchandise leader YouTube channel and the link to patreon supercast featuring two exclusive bonus episodes
Every month and of course you can watch the unedited show live or whenever you want to. You get all of the links to the unlisted YouTube shows.
When you become a YouTube member as well, you go to the community tab and all the bonus shows and
live shows are there as well. Of course you can go to whoarethese.com to get our mailing address
because people do like to send us fun gifts and things.
And also on whoarethese.com is of course that link to our Discord server that I mentioned
where you can go to the WATP meetup channel in that Discord server if you want to chat
with other folks who are going to be going to the live show October 25th in Ferndale,
Michigan.
So if you're going to be at the Magic Bag, you want to meet up with people, you want
to see when people are getting in and what they're doing. That's a good place to do that.
Also, we encourage our listeners, give us five stars wherever you review podcasts, then
shit all over us in the comment section. The five stars is important because that goes
a long way to the algorithm. AI isn't reading what you're saying about it. They're just
saying, okay, this person likes the show. This person doesn't like the show. So shit
on us all you want, just five stars.
Yeah, make it funny.
Is what we ask, please.
Today, we'll be reviewing a show called The Jubal Show.
This is a suggestion from Nathan Stringow on Patreon.
We have both listened separately, we've not discussed it,
we'll just beforehand, let's get into it.
The show hosted by Jubal, Nina, Victoria, and Brad.
And I'll read you this description here. First off, it's not a show, it's a show hosted by Jubal, Nina, Victoria, and Brad. And I'll read you this description here.
First off, it's not a show, it's a vibe.
That was one of the things that said on their YouTube channel.
It also says the Jubal show is on the radio all over the country.
They are unafraid to tackle the topical world we live in and can't get enough of the drama.
Nothing is sacred and nothing is off limits on the Jubal show.
Jesus Christ. Nothing's off limits. Nothing is sacred and nothing is off limits on the Jubal show. Jesus. Nothing's
off limits. This is exciting. I thought radio shows would be a lot of things that'd be off limits,
but apparently not. That's cool. Join Jubal Nina, Victoria, executive producer,
Brad and producer Sharkey and their listeners on a journey through romance secrets, pop culture,
and pranks. Wow. It's got something for everyone. It's great. Great to hear. Well, you had that
production in the beginning of our show there, Producer Chris. They have different segments on their show.
In fact, if you listen to their show straight through, it's just one bit into another and
it's always the same bits on rotation.
That's the gist I got from all the thumbnails.
Yes.
Go ahead.
Well, it's the Jubalphone prank.
Dirty little secret. first date follow-up
First a follow-up is the same thing that we looked at. Mm-hmm recently
So they don't they get ghosted and then they call it up to catch a cheater
Which is like war of the roses, but I don't think they own war of the roses, right?
So they can't use that so it's to catch a cheater instead
I thought it was a new Card of game to catch a cheater
Are you a cheater?
And then you have you versus victoria
Which is a trivia game, which is exactly like the most recent show that we reviewed
Brooke and jeffrey did the same thing with brooke, but then victoria goes in and you do five whatever the 32nd
Trivia contest and then n Nina does a what's trending
segment that's it that's what the show is those segments so I know what you
guys are thinking I love prank phone calls ever since the Jerky Boys it's
only gotten better and prank phone calls just keep getting funnier and funnier
and so let's get right into our phone prank stinger. It's another Jubal Phone prank. Weekday mornings on the 20s.
All right, that gets me pumped for it.
Did you hear that?
Weekday mornings on the 20s.
Let's talk about this.
You will hear a Jubal Phone prank,
6.20, 7.20, 8.20, and 9.20, Monday through Friday.
Do they play the same one four times on a show?
Because they're not putting out for a day on YouTube and I can't imagine they're producing that many prank phone calls
I have a feeling there's one prank per day and they play it four times on the 20s
Or they're just calling the same guy four times
This is the setup for this prank phone call. Now remember
prank phone calls aren't real. This is not a real thing. This is fake. It's poorly scripted,
poorly acted, and you have the trick is you got to do a silly voice. This is something that Todd
Pettigill taught us many years ago. When you do a prank call, you can't just talk like a normal person.
You gotta have a silly affect or some type of silly voice.
And silly name if you can do that.
Oh, crazier the name the better.
Alright?
Because then it really shows you what an absolute maroon this person is that you're talking to.
They have no clue what's going on.
Hello?
Yes, hello.
This is Ted Thibodeau calling from B****d Collections.
I was looking for anybody that calling from B**** collections. I was looking for anybody
that knows Ryan B****.
Yeah, I'm his girlfriend. Hi.
Yes, hi. This is an attempt to collect a debt.
Debt?
Debt, yes, a debt. We are looking to get recoup our thousand dollars for that inflatable pool
that he purchased a few months ago, has not paid for it.
Wait, I'm sorry. I, I, that's, there's no way he bought an inflatable pool. That can't that he purchased a few months ago has not paid for it.
Wait, I'm sorry. I, there's no way he bought an inflatable pool.
That can't be.
What?
It says right here, inflatable pool.
He bought three months ago,
has not made one single payment.
That was $1,500.
So we are looking to collect payment.
If you could please tell me a window of time
that you will be around him so I could call back
because he did not answer my phone calls.
Okay.
It started with a thousand bucks. Then was fifteen hundred this inflatable pool and then
Can you want to so when you'll be around him again so we can call you right and you could put him on the phone
That's not what a debt collector would ever say and they do four of these
Yeah, this is this is just the setup this this prank phone call goes a crazy direction
You can't even believe it, But it starts off with that.
The boyfriend owes money for a pool he hasn't purchased.
I'm not even sure how you obtain a $1,500 item
without some form of payment.
A credit card number, your PayPal.
Even if you're doing an interest-free financing
layaway thing, you have to set up
some type of payment system.
You can't just like, no, no, I'm good for it, Amazon.
Come on, we're cool.
Be cool, Amazon, come on.
Have collectors ever used the phone in the past?
Maybe.
That's another thing too, is a debt collector
doesn't know what was purchased usually.
Maybe if it's a car or something
you're not making payments on,
but for the most part, it goes off to a collections agency
and then they just have to like recoup the money.
It's not like they have a debt collector
who works for the inflatable pool company.
Right.
Who calls in.
It's a second party that's been outsourced.
Yes.
That's that.
All right, well, this is interesting
because you just heard him say, let us know the next time you're going to be around your boyfriend so we
can call you back again and then that changes.
Well if you could just let him know that we are looking to collect payment and if you could please pick up the phone when I call next time. Same number.
Okay I'll pass the message along.
Thank you much.
So just let him know to answer the phone next time we call because we're trying to collect
money.
That's not something a debt collector would ever say.
Fucking thing sucks.
And she goes, okay, sounds good.
All right.
So that's the first phone call.
Now another guy calls the same number and even wackier voice.
Hello?
Hi, this is Trevor calling from collections.
I was looking for somebody that might know Ryan.
Yeah, that's his
girlfriend hi oh hi what's your name my name's Ava yeah okay so sorry to bother
you like on your phone but I'm trying to get in touch with your boyfriend because
he owes like a lot of money and so charges all just to let you know if you
could pass this along to him
They're from about six months ago. He bought six samurai swords and
400 ninja stars. I don't know. Is he training to become sort of?
You know, I don't think 400 yes 400 ninja stars. He owes about three thousand dollars on that
That's not paid for it. Why so I'm calling from the bank. What how many did you stars? I can understand a baker's dozen
400 what that's what she's concerned about
Like I said, the acting is terrible. The script is ridiculous. This guy sounds like gay robot that Nick Swanson character
He's doing just a gay robot voice
so unoriginal
Yeah, this is garbage. It's really bad. We've covered some bits that are merely boring.
This is insulting.
Okay, so this is the second debt collector
who's calling the girlfriend,
because that's something that debt collectors do too.
They just look up acquaintances of people.
And then they ask, oh, is he training to blah, blah, blah?
Right, yes.
Yeah, my boyfriend's a ninja, sir.
Thank you for asking.
Let's see how this debt collector wants
to get their money back.
But can you pause along the message that I will call back and please answer? And also we'd be willing to make a deal with him, you know, for like half or whatever, or even like personally, if you want to send some of the ninja stars my way, but I can talk to him about that later.
Oh, yeah, okay.
Thank you for your time.
Yeah, thanks.
Yeah, okay. Did you say your time?
Yeah, I think.
It's like a child wrote this.
Oh, and then also I will also accept those ninja stars as payment because that sounds
really cool.
If you can just go buy your own ninja star sir.
Why would you accept that as a form of repayment for money that's owed as a debt collector?
I mean it's just goofy for the sake of being goofy and no one ever fall for this
No, even women aren't this stupid. Sorry to tell that to dick masterson
I'm just not buying it. They might not know what dates wars started
But they know the debt collector doesn't want ninja stars in return for the 4 000 bucks they owe
So now a third collector
Call us in I was looking for anybody that might know a Ryan.
Oh my god.
Are you kidding me?
Are you serious?
Are you collecting more bills?
Are you collecting more bills?
Ma'am, we're not supposed to know that the three debt collectors are all the same person.
So it doesn't really make any sense to put it in the context of the other two phone calls. Can't you tell I have a different affectation? I do not know what
you are talking about. I am collecting money for a very silly purchase. It's going to embarrass
you and your boyfriend. I can't wait to tell you about this silly silly purchase that he
made without having any form of payment. Yes, it is my job. I do that. And don't worry. I don't know who you are, but
I'm just calling because he will not answer my phone calls. And so we're looking at people that
are, you know, known associates, people that know him anyway. All right. How are you related to him?
You came up and so searches that I did. How are you related to him? You came up in searches that I
did. I wouldn't answer that question. I would ask a question back.
What type of search are you doing
that you're finding a guy's girlfriend's phone number?
Exactly.
What the fuck are you talking about?
You made searches.
But no, she's just like, yeah, it's fine.
I get it.
Okay, yeah, I'm his girlfriend.
This is like, you're like the third person
that has called me stupid purchases.
Oh my God, this is, we just moved in together, but I had no idea had this much
Yeah, oh boy. Yeah, I'm sorry. I run into that a lot
No idea this much debt and then what are the chances three debt collectors called me up in a row each with very silly voices
Claiming they made silly purchases. This is nuts. I had no idea. He was a debt you that we never talked about it
I actually wish Ava was real. So that she could sue these assholes. Right.
Never told me off to the radio. Every sound like a fool. Let's find out the silly thing
that was purchased for this third death collector. Does he have the performing arts or something?
Is that why all the dinosaur costumes? Again What? Yeah. I'm calling in regards
to the four, the 40 dinosaur costumes that he ordered and has not paid for that is a
bill upwards of zero. Yes. 40 dinosaur costumes. Um, it's from about four months ago. Uh, drew
Cephas says, Carl, you're forgetting that these are for distracted soccer moms trying
to get their kids to school in the morning or dumb young people, which don't
know any better.
I'm not forgetting that.
I'm pointing out how stupid you have to be to listen to this shit.
I don't care how much soccer your kids play.
You have to be retarded to think that this is real or entertaining.
Oh, I see the performing arts, these dinosaur castings.
Am I right people do deckleaders usually question why you made a purchase? What's up with his purchase? You mean, huh? I
See your money in your Jeep Grand Cherokee. You take that off-road
What do you need four-wheel drive for?
Can I come?
Just ours
I should just be doing prank calls. You know what it is that this is jealousy. I'll admit finally for once I've always said I don't know that jealous these people I make fun of this is incredible
We're gonna have an all prank bonus. Yes. Let's do it. Let's do a prank phone call bonus
but none of it works out at all it's just like
Carl I can tell this is you will you please stop calling it. This is not Carl
This is a wacky crazy guy. Come on. Just play along mom
All right, you ready for the exciting conclusion to this please Frank
I don't even know why we'll do it. Like this is so weird. Oh my god
Well, if you just let him know that I called it would be great. Yeah, we're gonna have a big
Conversation tonight. I will let him know that you called
I let him know that all these crazy people have called like I'm going to
Don't do that just yet because this is actually jubil from the jubil show doing a phone prank on you and your boyfriend Ryan say
You have
Yeah, are you kidding he said that you guys just in together, and so he wanted to freak you out
Oh my god
I was like what the fuck is he doing with forty dinosaur costumes and like four hundred inches are hurt like what the fuck
Oh my god
Wake up every morning with jubil phone pranks
I was just starting to think like how could he possibly have all those things that we live together, right?
How is that even possibly a fucking thing that there's an inflatable pool? I don't know about yeah dinosaur costumes
Though that was some of the laziest writing. I mean AI would come with something more interesting
Yeah, some of the stupidest what was the payoff?
And that's all these prank calls
The payoff is always just like hey, I'm just pulling your chain over here. Do you want the board? Can you believe it? Wow
Guess there's a demographic of people that think that the bleep is funny. Yes. I bet she said an F right there
So everything against the gays. What do you mean? All right, you ready for?
This Victoria you versus Victoria bet? Alright.
Now I played on that recent episode with Brooke and Jeffrey.
Brooke was doing trivia.
Brooke is, I guess, good at trivia.
Let's see if Victoria is good at trivia.
They start off by getting her warmed up, getting her mind working with this hilarious bet.
And now let's get Victoria's brain all warmed up and ready to go
Okay, here you go tongue twisters again
These are funny to watch her say this as fast as you can. How can a clam cram in a clean?
cream can
Wait, how can a cram in a clean?
How can the cream can how wait how can a clam?
Clean how can the cream can help wait how can a clam?
Cram in a clean can cream can wait cream or clean cream clean clean cream
How can a clam how can a clam?
Cram cram in a clean
And it's you're not helping
Clean cream can cream can how can a clam can a clam?
Can't how can a clamp?
She looks like the head explosion emoji right now. How can a clam cram and a clean cream can yes?
Okay, six slippery snails slid slowly c-word, okay, so that's hilarious Let's try to get Victoria to say this wacky tongue twister
You just say like a bunch of times fast or something at the point of it
I'm right there and she keeps saying wait, so she's just practicing until she finally gets it like yeah great stuff guys
This is how they tease it and they go into break and then they come back and I got let's get on the phone
Let's figure out who's calling in to open gets Victoria for a hundred dollar Macy's gift card time for America's favorite trivia game you versus
Victoria your chance to take on Victoria Ramirez in a game of trivia for a hundred dollar Macy's gift card
And let's meet our contestant for you verse Victoria
Nobody pretty sure Brad. Can you check the call screen or thing? It might not be on the right station. Sometimes it's on the wrong station and I think nobody's calling. Oh, yeah
Yeah, so right now there's nobody on the line unless it's on our station and then
I think they're scared of you today Victoria. Yeah, so good
Oh, sorry good good. I was just trying to gas her up to get her prepared already
Yeah, I think you're trying to cover for the fact that nobody's coming into your show
That's hilarious. So you start the bit and then discover that I've never heard that before like I let's take a color
There are any colors
Probably should have researched this yikes. So finally they get Jeannie
Jeannie's the caller Jeannie everybody. This is gonna go smoothly I'm sure.
Wow, nobody's really listening today. Jeannie is our contestant today. What's up Jeannie?
Hold on. Now this is operator error.
At least you know the difference.
Yeah. It's Friday, you know Where it can't be solid
So genie is out of it
I'm wondering if genie is in accounting or something and they're just like we're gonna get someone to call it. This is embarrassing
Because they're like, what are you up to? She's like, uh not working for this station. That's for sure
I know that's one thing. I probably do another stuff for that right now. Yeah
Her answer. I don't know was hilarious
Can you believe that? All right, let's get into the game.
Genie is fucking dumb.
And I'm sure that everyone was just like, not it.
Who wants to call in to do the trivia thing with Victoria? Not it.
And then they get Genie on here to embarrass themselves.
Let's get Genie.
Your time starts now.
What is the scientific term for the little brain at the base of the brain?
Uh, pass. What is the scientific term for the little brain at the base of the brain? Pass. What is the chemical symbol for the element mercury?
I don't know.
Pass.
What is the name of the largest moon of Jupiter?
These are hard, man.
Oh my gosh.
Pass.
Giraffes are how many more times likely to get struck by lightning than humans?
Ten.
True or false?
Identical twins do not have the same fingerprints.
True.
Okay, got that in.
We'll bring Victoria back into the studio.
How'd you get that in?
I'm calling out.
I don't know.
I want to go to the judges on that one.
Okay.
So that wasn't very good and
Then for some reason they do this every time they let the caller decide when Victoria's round starts
You have a room full of hosts and producers
Whose job it is to put out a radio show every day and they decide to let the caller
Determine when to start a segment.
30 seconds to answer as many questions as possible. If you don't know one, just say
pass and you have to beat Jeannie outright to win and Jeannie, you can tell Victoria when to go.
You can tell Victoria when to go. Okay, ready Go. What's the point? I don't know.
Can you tell her to go soon? She's like, no, I'll let you know. Trust me. I'll let you
know when these people are very lazy. It's the latest show. And again, I have to point
out and this is something that I got some feedback on. There used to be a time when
there was quality control at radio stations and GMs and program directors would sit down
and listen to this stuff and
bring the hosts in and try to figure out what's working what's not working. I don't think any of
that's happening anymore. No meetings. There's no meetings. Just like show up and do a thing. And
what's the ratings book look like? I don't know. We don't subscribe to that anymore.
We don't care. We don't want to know. I mean, back to the pranks, you said it sounded like a child
wrote it. I don't think they wrote anything down. It sounded like they're trying to wing it.'s very possible as well. Yeah, there's improvising. Yeah, I'm there cuz if it was written they suck at writing and they suck at improv also
Well, I can't believe all these ninja swords
You're gonna use them in your inflatable pool. Can you believe it?
All right, so
Genie's dumb guess who's dumber?
Victoria is very dumb.
What is the scientific term for the little brain at the base of the brain?
What? The brain? The little small brain?
What is the chemical symbol for the element? Oh my God, you won't talk about this!
Mercury. I can't think of it.
Oh, sorry, go ahead. What is the chemical symbol for the element
Mercury? Uh, Amy?
What is the name of the largest moon of Jupiter?
Wait, what? Uh, big jubal.
Jubal said Sam big moon giraffes are how many times more likely to get struck by lightning in humans. True or false? Identical twins did not have the same
fingerprint.
I answered it already. You didn't answer the question.
The buzzer went off right as you were answering.
No, but I know it was right after I answered. Therefore I get another question. Girl, what Jubal said.
Hello. Exactly. Yes, this does suck. So I heard that I went, okay, so it was the bit that she's
stupid. And I found another example of her answering these trivia questions.
Let's see what the answer is to that. Melanie, you can tell Victoria when to go. Alright, go.
Name the animal with the largest eyes.
Uh, Cheetah.
What is Google's parent company name?
I don't know. Wait, wait, wait.
Um, parents?
Um, um, ah!
Oh no!
How many players are there in a netball game?
A what?
Netball. Netball? Heck, it's a netball game? Oh what? Netball?
Heck is a netball. Nine? Why did Jag and Jill go up the hill? Oh, oh, to find the beanstalk!
Name the coldest place in the world.
I don't think that's the right one!
Santa's Wonderland!
Okay, so Victoria's very stupid, but that's like the bit she's like I guess the rate of
veto of the show.
I guess it's a kind of be like what a fucking idiot.
She doesn't even know trivia.
You don't know what Jack and Jill are up to.
What the fuck?
But because she's a woman and whiny, for some reason, this is hilarious to everyone in studio Oh, yes. Where's Jill? So is that Jack and Jill or is Jack and Jill a completely different book that I just like
I'm not thinking of?
Does he like this?
He had like the crazy Ann or is that the one that sticks to the kids in the oven or it's
the bear?
It's so wacky how stupid she is.
It's one of the wackiest parts of our show people it's what people really
First acknowledge when they're listening to the jubilant morning show that Victoria bitch is a dub cut. She sure is isn't it crazy
It's infuriating. It's annoying. She's
Read that book that book, you know Jack and Jill the book. Yeah that novel
That book you know Jack and Jill the book yeah that novel
Stupid oh Boy, let's get back to pranks okay. You want to hear another hilarious voice for a prank on anything, but Victoria wailing away
Yes, no, I will not do that to you again. Thank you. I promise you. I just I don't care if she's a smoke show
I just had to demonstrate how it's going that is speaking of smoke shows look who got his power back
Ryan from Tom Steve Davis here. I am
Buddy hey, how's it going? I'm going caught up. I was listening to you on 5g. So okay excellent
Let's go. It's going great. I'll show I'm glad you get your power back. Did you find out what happened?
Nope, didn't I find out what happened to your only turn back on?
What that hit a transformer? Yes, I'm cuz you know one can turn left in your estate, so they get very confused.
People are going to love that.
Mary Beth, my wife said the same thing.
She's like, what the fuck is with this state when she first moved here and now she loves
the jug handle?
Unless it's a transformer in the way.
Yeah, then it's not good.
Then it's a problem.
All right, so one of the things I loved about this show, you checked it out a little bit,
right, Brian?
I did. One of the things I loved about it was the prank calls with the silly
voices. And here's another great example of that. Hello? Hello? Hi? Hello? Hello? Yeah.
Hi. Sorry. This is Trevor. Who's this? You called me. No, I'm pretty sure you called I think you have the wrong number.
Well no, because you called me so I think you might have the wrong number.
It's so stupid.
I won't even play anymore of that.
I'll explain to you what happened to this prank.
So he continues to call her back over again and say that she called him and then he calls
in as the police and they're like, ma'am, why are you calling us?
We're sending a squad car there right now.
She's like, no, I have a new phone.
I don't know how it works.
It's like, yeah, we know if you move the morning, your, your boyfriend told you he's got a new phone. I don't know how it works! So I was like, yeah we know! It's June the morning, your boyfriend told you
he's got a new phone, you don't know how it works.
So we thought we'd have some fun with that, gotcha.
Your boyfriend told us to harass the shit out of you.
Gotcha, bitch.
Well, I guess we hope we're getting his dick wet
for some time, but it was worth it.
The ones with the War of the Roses one,
it's like, it can never just end on a good note.
The only ones they play are the ones where it's like,
like I heard one where they were talking about how he actually sent it to the
girlfriend instead of the, you know, the person that she thought he was cheating
with. Yeah. And then it still devolves into like, you know what I was cheating.
Okay. Well that's just because I, that's, I'm going to go next.
So this is to catch a cheater and they're in the What's Trending segment,
and then a brilliant transition into the next segment.
But yeah, that's what's trending.
It's time to catch a cheater.
Only on the Jubal Show.
Billy is on the phone today for To Catch a Cheater.
He's been married to his wife, Adrienne, for three years,
but they've been together for eight years.
All right, so you hear that that only on the Jubal show.
Are we catching cheaters over here? That's good to know.
We don't want to tune into your competition and find out that
Ryan Seacross is also doing the exact same thing.
That would be very disappointing.
So you explain that it's only here.
All right. This is I don't know.
This is the one that you heard, Brian, but here's the plan
that they come up with.
You have a good way. you think we can catch her?
Yeah, yeah.
We go to like this cookie place at least once a week.
Every week they got like brand new flavors, the cookies are like huge, it's really good.
So we go there a lot.
So I think that that would be, and we're in like their email list and stuff.
They have our info.
So I think it would be like good to say that you're from there. Maybe like offer like some cookies or something
Okay. All right. No, we explained something. This is fake, but
Let's pretend it's real. Why would this guy need a radio show? He's already he's coming kill for the plan
Yep, he just have his buddy call and say hey want some cookies. Where do you want me to send them?
have his buddy call and say, Hey, you want some cookies? Where do you want me to send them? You don't need a radio show to do that. And I can't believe that again, the laziness
here, like the colors are like, all right, so what should we do? Right? I don't know.
Is this a segment you guys do every day? So that's the, the premise. There's a cookie
place they go to. And so they're going to call up the wife and see who she
wants to give the cookies to.
We actually are calling you today with a free gift.
Oh, that's awesome.
What's a gift?
A gift is a dozen cookies delivered to anybody that you want.
Seriously?
Yep.
Okay.
This is why this doesn't work.
One of the roses works because you wouldn't want roses sent to
yourself. Like oh yeah I'll send roses out to someone else. I don't give a shit
about having roses. Cookies are very different. Yeah very different. Hey guess what you want? A
chance to send delicious treats to someone else. Like what can I have some
delicious treats? Nope. I'm sitting right here. Don't you love these cookies? Yeah yeah I do.
Can I have some? No no no no. You have to send it to someone else Well, what a great prize that is
You're right, they don't have any meetings
Like I don't get this cookie bet guys, it's doesn't make any sense
It's amazing to how they have the bleeps ready at like at the ready
No problem like every time they mail it
This is similar to when like for a birthday present or a Christmas gift someone donates to a charity in your name
Just go ahead don't it to the charity on your own man. You need to know about it, right?
It's fine and now they're gonna come after me for more right yeah, they'll put my fucking name in the system
That's why people do it Jesus Christ
It's cookie places be calling me every day now
No, they know alright, so she gets a choice who do you want to send these cookies to and?
Billy the husband thinks that she's having an affair with their contractor Mike
Who's over at the house every day?
Who also likes cookies might also like cookies let's
find out what happens here would you like to put a note or anything with it
yeah okay I love that word yeah the guy at the cookie place because I love bad words. Okay, weirdo. Thank for beep.
Then say free cookies.
Love you.
Okay. Adrian, this is actually Jubal from the Jubal show. It's a radio show.
Hi Adrian. I'm Nina on the show too.
Listening to all of this love about cookies.
And your husband Billy is actually on the phone.
He's been listening this whole time.
Billy, do you want to tell her or do you want me to tell her why?
I'm like really happy right now. Hey, I'm like, um, so, well, I, yeah, I will let them explain it, I guess. Okay.
So she picked her husband, Billy. And so they're like, Hey,
this pathetic loser you're married to thought you were cheating on him.
You want to come out and Billy and talk about that? Like, uh, yeah, I did.
This is how to get your wife to cheat on you.
Yes. Prove what an insecure cuck you are is our next segment of the show.
If you're going to check up on your wife,
you have to do it with like a private investigator, like not in a way where it's
like, Hey, I thought you were cheating on me and now I'm exposing you. Like,
yeah, it's just the wrong way to go about it, man. Right. If it was real
again, if it's not real, but you would want your PI to come back and back.
Now we followed her for the last five days. She's not seeing anyone else. Great.
Right. That she doesn't know that you were concerned. No one's the wiser.
Or the PI comes back with 65 photos of her fucking various guys.
You're like, you could have stopped at one. I just needed the book.
What time was all I needed, she likes this position she loves this position right here like all right that is my wife sir I just see
now not getting paid by the phone oh I like this with the sepia tone
I'm having this one frame oh PIs are all the same aren't they so? So again, this is scripted and fake, but this
is actually a very good question.
Billy, you think I'm cheating on you and you call the radio station?
I like that someone in there was writing something just like, what would a real person say at
this moment? You call the fucking radio station about a relationship, you idiot. But honey,
you're not cheating on me. Right. So everything's cool. So it's all good now.
So yeah, that was, was that similar to the one that you heard, Brian, or just kind of?
Very similar, yeah.
Well, this one, the woman thought that he was cheating,
or the guy thought that she was cheating,
sent the flowers to her, and then he was like,
they start arguing about how she belittles his career
And uh belittles his like what he does in his free time and they start going back and forth
And then he's like, you know what? I was cheating on you and she's like, I knew it women's intuition
Which really he never should have said that he should have left it hanging at like this is your fault, bitch
Right. Well this one they also go back and forth because she's like well you're working all the time
He's like i'm working for you so that we can have this house but it's just like they're like fighting over this shit about the cookies yeah and then they decided to go on a cookie day so that's cute Jesus now
what i like in a morning radio show and listen i used to listen to morning radio every day
i like wacky jokes like fun funny jokes and that's why I tuned into the Zubal show. Why did the tomato turn red?
Because it was just made that way
Just born that way. No because it saw the salad dressing
Take a laughy taffy joke is it rare to have two holes on one show. Yeah, I really see that that much, right?
What was the point of that I know soccer moms are dumb I get it and I'm not even saying they're dumb
Zubal saying they're dumb
He's the one putting this out there going in soccer. I'm gonna love this shit because they're idiots
There's a it is seasonal. They do talk about important things that are going on like corn mazes
Hmm, and I have this clip just because I think it sums up the show for me should have started with this one
This is the type of morning show you hear was just so much excitement and laughs
I swear to God if this is Halloween candy talk, I'm out
Nice. I saw that label to one of the segments. I didn't even thank you
Can we get through to October without it? I doubt it
The last time you went through a corn maze shaped like Luke Bryan. Why are they making a corn maze shaped like Luke Bryan? Well, you're really missing out.
Because apparently, well, they look like Luke Bryan.
Somebody's so obsessed with Luke Bryan,
there's more than 30 corn mazes in the country that are
designed to look like Luke Bryan.
That's pretty cool.
More than 30?
More than 30.
More is a lot.
I don't understand.
Bryan, you hear about these corn mazes?
I have.
I have heard about some corn mazes.
None shaped like Luke Bryan.
It's funny.
It's a good one.
Oh my God, these corn mazes, can you fucking believe they're like over 30?
It's so nuts.
It's so great.
I can't even believe it.
Who's Luke Bryan?
Isn't he a country artist? Is he? I don't believe it. Who's Luke Bryan?
Isn't he a country artist?
Is he?
I don't know.
Like I would have to if I'm listening to this radio station, somebody has to be like country
artist Luke Bryan.
Yes.
Otherwise I'm like, Who the fuck is that?
Yeah, we might be out of it.
Brian.
Guys like us, we might be a little bit out of it.
But the women in their cars with their kids know exactly what is going on I'm sure. All right let's talk about the other segment out
here the first date follow-up. So two people go out on a date one person goes
the other the other one does something that's surely to get them back in their
good graces calls a radio show and has them call them on the rehab we go what
the fuck that's how you do it. It doesn't ever work? But okay, let's let's hear this.
First date of follow up powered by the advocates injury attorneys online advocateslaw.com.
Haley is on the phone today for a first date follow up and she's getting ghosted by a dude
named Nate.
She has no idea why.
So in a few minutes, we're going to call him and ask him why he's ghosting her and maybe
get her another date.
But before we do that, Haley, how long has it been since you heard from Nate?
It's been four days.
Yeah, OK, he wants something to do with you.
Leave it alone.
It happens.
But no, she can't figure it out.
They had such a great, amazing first date.
And again, whoever's writing this shit
doesn't live in reality, I don't think.
This doesn't sound like it's even plot.
It's Tom Myers.
It might be Tom Myers, right?
Because he's never been on a date. He would be like, What would a date be like? All right,
let's hear what a date would be like from a guy like Tom Myers. I don't know. Like,
so we went on a picnic and it was really nice. And we even like, I have to slow dance a little
on the picnic blanket. And I don't know. Yeah, it was really sweet. And I was like, I don't
know. He was just really attentive. But I just worry like I can't dance.
And I kept stepping on his feet. And so I'm like, maybe he just didn't like that. I can't
dance. I don't know. I've been like hyper fixated on it. But I'm just like, I really
was bad. I was like nervous and stuff. So I can dance a little better than I did. But
yeah, it was pretty bad.
I saw I saw your face producer because you're just like, what's your
picnic date? And then you were slow dancing. Yeah.
The fuck are you even talking about? This is not a real thing. This is six fingers on a hand. Anybody can slow dance.
Right. That too. I mean, so clumsy.
Lindy hop is a little difficult, but
so it doesn't even make like, no, it a child what would a date be oh you go on
a picnic and then you hold hands yeah that's when you dance a little bit on the dance yeah
and the picnic cooks so many things wrong with this but a first date in this day and
age would not be somewhere secluded okay you know what I mean yeah right our soccer mom's
known for liking this type of humor I wasn't aware that that was like a
This is news to me saying Ryan
And I didn't realize that my job was not only to make fun of podcasts
But also explain why the people who like it would like it
Beyond my degree mystifying. Yeah, I can't that I can't figure out. I can tell you why it sucks. That's all I know
But they call up Nate now and of course everyone always answers their phones. It's amazing. Yeah.
You know, no one's ever like in a meeting or busy or on the show or ignoring it or just
not answering their phone. And what a coincidence this is right here.
Hello.
Hi, may I speak to Nate please?
This is Marissa Scott.
Yes, you can. Nate, my name is Jubal. I host host a radio show it's called the Jubal show
Yeah, hi Nate whole shows here. I'm Nina. Hi, and I'm Victoria. How are you?
You might have I'm not really sure do you listen the show ever
Yeah, yeah
Oh cool. Thank you. Are you a big enough fan to know what the first eight follow-ups are?
What are the chances the guy's a big fan of the Jubal show?
Wow, and you know this guy's probably calling from them. He's probably calling from the next room
So why does it sound so shitty right? Yeah, that's a good point do again
It's just calling one of the employees it works at the radio station. Oh, and make it sound shitty.
Right, it's gotta sound realistic.
I can go stand in the elevator?
Yes, do that.
Take the elevator up and down all day.
All right, so she was concerned
that he didn't like her dancing,
and that's why he ghosted her.
But he explains that no,
it's because she talked about her acts the whole time.
You're talking about your dance
and then all of a sudden you're like,
oh my God, Jason laughs that way.
And I was like, are you even over him?
Like, is that even,
like, is this something I need to be concerned about?
You know, I try to brush it off every time, you know,
through the end of the night,
like I really just couldn't get over it couldn't
shake it. Like it just like I said, you just every single
thing you brought up was Jason did this Jason did that. I'm
like, my name is not Jason.
It's boring as shit.
So this is what's weird about this is that this is a long
segment. And it gets into these minutia stuff that I'm like, oh gosh, I wouldn't care about this is that this is a long segment and it gets into these
Minutious stuff that I'm like, oh gosh
I wouldn't care about this if this was a friend of mine telling me this story
Let alone strangers on the radio. That's why I don't talk to you, right? Yeah, don't care. Stop it
So apparently the woman was annoying and then the guy didn't call her back the story is all this time. Oh
Jason couldn't get it up either
I'm the shriveled dick today. Oh
Yeah, also a wrinkle at his penis wait, you know that guy all right, there's good news coming up though
Thank God So thank God. If you're willing to give me another shot, I will.
I promise that the word Jason will not come up.
Not one.
I would hope not.
But I mean, yeah, I mean, I don't know.
But you're gonna give me a test tonight and see what you're doing if you're free or maybe
I don't know.
So that right there.
And again, this is fake.
Right there. That's, never call me again.
My people will call your people, don't call us.
We'll figure this out.
So that's obviously what he's trying to do.
And then the guys come back on.
So, Nate, will you go on another day with Haley?
We'll pay for it.
Yeah, I mean, I'm down, but I just hope
that it's a Jason free night.
Like I'm not trying to to remember my name is Nate.
Awesome. I'm super excited and I promise that it'll be a fun time.
Thank you so much for giving me another shot.
Congratulations, Haley.
Thank you.
Now, is that really a date you want to go on?
No, absolutely not.
The guy's like, come on, will you just go on another date?
What's there we'll pay for?
He's like, yeah, fine. you just go on another date? What's there we'll pay for?
He's like, yeah, fine.
I get a meal out of it.
That's right.
That's this woman is not enough.
I mean, it's not real, but I was listening to this.
I'd be like, yeah, it doesn't seem like he's added to you.
Maybe just, you know, move on.
Fuck.
Something else is going on.
To Nate's credit, he now knows he can get away with anything. She seems pretty desperate. That's true
This is why soccer moms don't want anything to do with me, yeah, that would do it
So I have a little surprise for us. I just found out about this right before the show started
because Eddie and our discord turned me on this is that he's been following jubil for a while and
apparently He has another following jubil for a while and apparently
He has another persona jubil fresh. She's a rapper. Oh, he's trying to he's trying to make it in the hip-hop game
Here's a always nice. Yeah, fuck it. Stay in twice
Like way back like way back like way back I walk in the club and they're like, oh my goodness This is terrible. Is this written by Jerry Banfield? It sounds like it. Yes
It sounds very 2000s like not not recent like like 90s into the 2000s
It's not fresh at all. It sounds like Gangster rap that is not too spicy for soccer moms like well
He does have a couple swears in there, but it's you know I can listen to it, but it's jubil fresh
And he's here to say
All right anything else you picked up on listening to the show Brian
No, I only listened to a few segments, and I listened to with my wife, and she's like oh my god this is this can't be real this is terrible. It really did bring me back
to the old jocktober days because you would find these things really there's no way these people
also do that bit and they also do this bit and they do this bit too. Do they do anything original
at all on this show? No it's all a Taco Bell menu. Correct. Seven ingredients, different packaging.
Yes.
Sorry, Lucy.
I guess people aren't, they're just aware of their local radio.
They're not aware that this goes on all over the country and
this shit is fake.
Yes.
There's a certain percentage of the audience who thinks this is
all real and they're invested in this.
They don't realize it's everywhere else.
But you know,
the fugitive bit that we've talked about many times before and War of the Roses and all
of these shows, it's like there's a central command center for hack radio bits and they
shoot it out to every market in the country and they pay for it to get these ideas. Like
what about dinosaur costumes? Like this is money well spent. Good stuff. All right, as if
we haven't already done that it's time for our Gringe of the Week. And actually I meant to bring
this up a few weeks ago. Poupon Perry sent this to me. This is the Upright Citizens Brigade
Training Center. Let's discuss what's offensive in comedy and microaggressions. So this gets
handed out to all of the improv comics who sign up for Upright Citizens Brigade, UCB.
And let's learn about this together, Brian. I think this is important stuff for guys our
age to understand.
Sure. We were not taught about microaggressions back in the day.
No, we were not. In this classroom, individuals are allowed and encouraged to express themselves.
However, we will be respectful of each other. This class is for learning technique, not
pushing boundaries or being edgy. In class, we respect your voice so long as it respects
others' voices as well. What's a microaggression? Definition. A statement, action, or incident
regarded as an instance of indirect, subtle, or unintentional
discrimination against members of a marginalized group such as a racial, ethnic minority, transgender
people, the disabled community, etc.
For our purposes in class, that means jokes that rely on racial, gender, sexual orientation,
ethnic, or other stereotypes are hurtful and antithetical to what we teach.
I don't know how Dick Masterson was ever part of this group. This is,
this is crazy to me. He acts like Maddie's got it kicked out. I don't,
I don't even know how he was still in it.
Well, I think he had this written after he,
probably based on, on him. Yes. That includes fat girls too,
just so you know, in marginalized groups includes fat girls too, just you know,
in marginalized groups.
He's like, aw man.
I'm curious, does this mean like if you're gay,
you can't make a gay joke?
Oh, that's a good question,
because what I thought was interesting
about the microaggression is that it is,
it can be unintentionally discrimination.
You don't even know you're doing it.
Right, so intent doesn't matter, as long as someone's offended by even know you're doing it. Right. Which so intent doesn't
matter as long as someone's offended by it you're at fault. That's all you need to know right there.
It's like there's no winning. If someone doesn't like you and they want you out they will get you
out. Not someone like you or me, Brian. Someone who has multiple personalities or changed their
gender three times or you know those type of people. The triggered type. Yes if you're in a
scene that makes you uncomfortable in any way you may stop it and take a seat. If you would like to
share what made you uncomfortable that's fine but you do not have to. Similarly your teacher may stop
a scene if they're noticing that the scene is potentially going somewhere uncomfortable.
We can create a safe word to use if you feel triggered in a scene.
A fucking safe word? Are we choking girls out while spitting in their mouth? You need
a safe word for this? This is all meant to keep the classroom respectful and fun, not
to punish anyone. Imagine going to an improv troupe and being like, guys, my safe word
is bananas. It's also a punchline I use a lot, but it's also my thing
Right, so good luck with that. My safe word is retard
It just it's so fucking weird
This is like comedians are supposed to be the least offended people on earth correct and they're the most so this is a room full
of people where nothing happens I
Don't know how anything could happen. How could we watch these improv shows, they're all terrible.
And if they're worried about this,
if they're on pins and needles,
worried about what they're gonna say
and how they're gonna say it,
well, no shit, of course it's like this.
Intention versus impact.
Be thoughtful of not just your intention,
but also the impact of your work.
If your work was intended to be sarcastic
about a sensitive topic,
but the sarcasm wasn't readily apparent to everyone,
the impact is all we are left with.
If you'd like to discuss a specific comment
or class experience, please reach out to HR
at UCBComedy.com.
Oh shit, could you imagine?
Bill had a very poor taste joke today,
and I'm still reeling from it.
That the turnover in that HR department.
All right.
You imagine.
Wasn't they known for being edgy to the upright citizens brigade like back in the day?
Yeah, of course.
Yeah.
One of our best comics came out of improv troops in the from the 70s and 80s, but not so much anymore.
And then finally, we all make mistakes.
As we dive into this work, be aware that not anymore. And then finally, we all make mistakes. As we
dive into this work, be aware that not everyone has the same experience and or knowledge as
you. It's important that everyone does their level best and treat everyone with respect.
It's also crucial to remember that it is not the responsibility of marginalized groups
to educate everyone else on what is appropriate language or concepts for comedy. Take some
responsibility for yourself. There will be a lot fewer mistakes
if we all follow the golden rule.
Treat everybody how you want to be treated.
I want people to make fun of me
for being a white guy with crooked teeth.
Oh shit, well that fucks up everything, that nevermind.
Oh.
And then that goes right out the window.
Fucks up my shit too.
Didn't even realize that was an option on this.
I love that like the, okay,
you're responsible to be very
sensitive to these marginalized groups but you can't ask them what's what
offends them you have to somehow find it out on your own through independent research.
You have to know and you can possibly potentially know what offends them go for a joke
about something completely different but they perceive it a certain way and then
you're still at fault. Yeah. It's almost like you could definitely step in shit
no matter where you're stepping.
Yeah, Chris is right.
Like, it just, there must be a silent classroom.
I wouldn't talk in this classroom.
I mean, I shouldn't.
No, you should not be.
Yeah, I think I did the first aid.
Like, by the way, Carl, you don't talk in this classroom.
I get it.
What not to do.
That's fine.
I think some people like me, like I should be grandfathered in where it's like I look I'm a 56 year old white guy
I'm gonna microaggress. Oh, yeah, I'm not gonna realize it, but I'm gonna do it
I do it three times before I got a bed at the board. Are you kidding me?
It's gonna happen sometimes. I just regular aggress
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa not even micro old-school
Well, not micro or macro. What's the other one?
Normal. Yeah.
Just normal aggression. Regular.
Guys, I want to thank our sponsor today.
Magic Mind sponsoring the show.
We appreciate them. They're a great sponsor to us.
It's the world's first mental performance elixir.
You've heard me talk about it. How I start every day. I don't drink caffeine anymore. I've switched to drinking water and magic mines.
And after a decade of research with their scientific advisory board and over 100 iterations,
this unique blend was developed. The all-natural ingredients are used because of their proven
ability to increase cognitive ability
Provide natural energy and lower stress levels and one of the things I love about these guys is that they send us over samples for our co-host
Producer Chris got some magic mine recently. I have some more for some of the other folks that come over to the studio and
I know we've talked about it before
But you really feel the difference like I need to get some shit done
You drink a magic mind and you're doing it. Yeah, I suffer from the cobwebs in the morning
No matter how much I've slept and magic mind definitely makes me feel sharper
No, I am a one coffee a day guy. I know you quit caffeine, but uh
But it doesn't interfere with that because it's not caffeinated
It's a natural energy that it gives you so you can drink it with caffeine, right?
I guess that's what I was saying because I don't do the energy drinks. They make me jittery and
Spastic and then I crash right so it's perfect. Yeah, so visit magic mind co
Wtp show 20 and use the promo code
Wtp show 20 for 20% off a one-time purchase or 48% off your first subscription.
That's magicmind.co slash WATPSHOW20 promo code WATPSHOW20.
Guys, I want to thank Route 152 guy on YouTube.
He has a channel that is all Tom Myers clips from the past.
He's curating Tom Myers,
and he's got a bunch of his standup on there.
He's got a bunch of radio appearances that Tom's been on.
So because it's Jack Tauber, I was like,
oh, let's check out Tom on some radio shows.
So let's bring on Vinny.
Let's check out Tom on some radio shows.
And wouldn't you know it, back in 2013,
he was on Hoppy Hour. Ryan Hoppy.
Oh wow.
That goober who interviewed Chad Zumach
and then when we made fun of him was just like,
yeah, you fell right into my trap.
I knew you'd do that.
Now everyone's checking me out.
I'm blowing up and you're going to keep talking about me.
It's like, no, we don't care.
It's fine.
But now I will because he had Tom Myers on 11 years ago.
And that sounds a little something like this.
WHCM 88.3, the Hoppy Show.
We're here with Tom Myers.
What up, Tom?
All right, and I have to say,
well,
I'm not really rich,
and this is actually far more technically advanced than my meetings.
I still have one of those, it's two over seven.
Yeah.
Now it says on your-
Hold on a second, is Ryan understanding him?
Yeah, he sounds like a muted trumpet.
He's just a robot.
He can hear every other word.
Yeah, and he goes, haha, yeah, right right Tom. No, I'm checking out your website
Now it says on your website which can be found at Tom Myers
Die us but yeah
It says here that it says that you had your own radio show when you went to Goucher Cowl
College, what was it show like to do?
So Ryan might be a slow adult. Don't think that yeah realizing when I was listening back to this
Oh, this guy shouldn't even be on the radio at all. So this is from
WHC M
FM in some place in Illinois. And he has no business having a microphone in
front of him obviously.
It was a weekly show. Yeah. But I had a guest who played in the game.
Oh, huh.
And then whatever.
And then they just turned it.
Ryan, do something.
Save your show.
What are you doing?
And that's what I was getting on the phone for.
That's what I was getting on the phone for.
Yeah, right now you're breaking in and out
and I think it's because of the Harper internet.
So what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna turn off the video
so it's just sound,
cause then it might work a lot better.
Let me try this.
It sounds like Stan's sister.
Oh yeah, I just realized it.
Let me see here, is it? So you had your own show called the as it says in your website the Myers experience now
Would you play songs on there or was this kind of a talk show or in between?
Because for me my show mine's more talk, but I play songs too when I get out of breath and I lose things to say
So what now?
What would you do on your show?
Whoops!
What an idiot!
So the way he asks questions, this is hilarious.
He just wants to ask Tom if he always knew he was going to get into radio or comedy if
that was a goal of his for a long time.
Wasn't the way he asks this question.
Yeah, now here's the one thing. What did you want to do when you were a kid? Did you always
want to go into comedy or did you want to go into radio? Let's see, for me since fourth
grade when I first heard the Opie and Anthony show, I've always wanted to go into radio
and that's been my dream since fourth grade. And I've kids through throughout when I when I go to school they're like I don't know what I want to do and right now they're right now
they're working at McDonald's so my so my my question for you Tom is did you
know what you want to do with a kid or was this just kind of in the spur of a
moment this is Chad Zuback's buddy, Ryan Hoppy.
If you're just joining us, we're listening to Ryan Hoppy on the board and everybody.
Wow.
He didn't sound this slow when we covered him recently.
He didn't.
He didn't sound this stupid, but talking to Tom will do that, I guess.
So one more clip from here.
So Tom is trying to answer one of his questions and then he again just starts typing as loud
as possible on his keyboard
that's obviously mic'd up with three mics, two on top one underneath. Just to be safe.
I always knew I wanted to do something in the entertainment field growing up.
Initially I wanted to try to be an actor and I did a lot of stuff on stage I did a
lot of theatrical productions in my school college.
Track and field.
And uh and.
Yes I came you gotta hit the buttons as fast as possible.
That's very disrespectful Ryan to start typing on your computer as your guest is talking.
How did you know I was typing?
I guess you can hardly hear to begin with.
Yes.
All right, so this is now Tom Meyer's on Mellow in the Morning.
And this is another radio show.
This is out of Habert & Grace, near Tom's house.
It's got to be a comedian.
How long have you been a comedian now?
For how long?
Years, right?
Yeah, well I've been a stage performer
for about 20 years now.
I started doing improvisation,
doing theater classes in high school.
It's actually where I picked up my comedic chops.
I used to tell jokes to upperclassmen
just to sort of reflect being bullied. Yeah, yeah. I used to tell jokes to upperclassmen. This is sort of deflect
being bullied. Yeah. Yeah. And they would pretty much demand I tell one joke a day.
Otherwise it would get very unpleasant.
Bullies to man. Did he tell one joke a day? Why did the tomato turn red? All right, Tom,
you're good for today. Thank you for that. Watch your ass.
That's the first time I ever heard a bully ask for anything aside from lunch money.
Right. No, we need one funny joke every day. We won't beat you up.
Is he pretending he has an origin story?
Also, when you suck as bad as Tom, don't make it sound like you've been doing it longer.
Say, I just started, just got into this on a whim.
He doesn't know. Chris, this is why we love Todd Myers. He doesn't know he sucks.
When he was on with Blind Mike, I'll never forget. Mike's like, why not lean into it?
Why not promote yourself as like the world's worst stand up? You might get people come out being
like, oh, what's that like? And he goes, nah, I'm not the worst though. You know, I'm all right.
Jesus Christ. You can't bill yourself as know, I'm alright. You're not- Jesus Christ.
You can't bill yourself as an alright stand-up.
That's not getting anyone into the seats, dummy.
This nation's most average comic.
Right.
Doesn't understand this at all.
I tell people the toughest room I ever worked was the men's locker room at Falston High School.
Oh, that could be tough for him, yeah.
How are you working at it? My arms are so tired afterwards.
That's a tough audience. It's like the comic book series, Kill or Be Killed. I lived it.
Oh, I didn't. Well, now you got the power. Now you got the mic and you go around. So like you're out talking about the new album.
Well, congratulations. Now, what album is that? this is my this is my fourth one fourth one have out very cool and it's available now
So where can people get I guess wherever it's sold online. It's the best place to go to it's on the website
Tom Myers dot us and it's also one CD, baby
Amazon it's streaming on I do I tune Spotify
All that other stuff Pandora kids can get access to so oh my god
Yeah, I often wonder like you talk about you talk about some 420 stuff earlier today
Yeah, which by the way, there was no traffic on the road this morning
Everyone took the day or whatever you were doing whatever you were doing. Thank you
I often feel that the people who follow me on social media
Don't just do the 420 stuff on 420 because I get the weirdest responses
oh like I got one on Twitter that said you know I hope something like you know
you're I had your album on Spotify random and my kids were in the room or something like that
Oh they get angry yeah yeah they get angry at me. It was like, yeah
I wonder I wish there was a way that I could let people know that this album's not for everybody
Yeah, the little mandated PMR stuff for anybody. I love his tweet. Sorry, like, you know, it's 420
But sometimes I think that it's 420 every day with these tweets that I get like this one that said
There was it was a tweet on Twitter
So he's never got laid and never smoked pot Jesus Christ
Also, he never mentioned the name of the album make America innate again. Who could forget it?
I didn't hear him say it though. No, I was promoting it. I know it's his fourth album. Yeah, that's Tom Myers fourth album. Yeah
They're all called Tom Meyers pop right up
I do like though that they're they're able to engage themselves in this fantasy world where he's getting back at the bullies by
Being a successful com a successful comic. They thought I couldn't do it. No, no, we thought you could exactly do what you're doing
We all assume this is what you'd be doing. That's why we bullied you in the first place. That's right
He can't even tell one joke a day now. Oh
Shit, well, I have a stand-up coming up in just a minute. Okay for Pittsburgh before we do that
This is him promoting the podcast that he was out at this time is from 2018
This interview that he's doing on Mao in the morning us
We do something called word from the street and I do like a two or three minute
Monologue and then that's my bit. We have sketches on there as well. Okay, so my politipod. Do you remember politipod? I
Feel like an asshole cuz I totally forgot that that's the podcast
He used to be on before he started Tom Myers versus the rest of the world
He was on the show that had all these different people and he would just do like this little monologue segment
That's right
And we would pull the clips from there
But it's such a weird podcast because they would then announce where elections were being held in like these tiny little towns across America
That was completely forgot about that. Yeah, we do I totally forgot about that out of time our first the rest of the world
That's all I care about but point upon is where he got his start and he's explaining this
He says something here that I'm gonna call bullshit on and we have like some you know professional
You know comedy writers who submit stuff to this and no you don't
I've listened to a lot of what a pot of my day. There's no professional comedy writers
Who are submitting things to it?
Not buying that. Yeah, that was a weird show that he was out. I think he got kicked off
So that's why he started tom mires versus the rest of the world versus put a pot and the rest of the world
I'll show all you guys
So he's always had that mentality. Yes, like as a youngster him against the bullies now. He's against the world. Mm-hmm
and
Now we get to see some of his stand-up in 2018. What I like about this is
Oh what he recently this is this is a weird thing
He'll send me Venmo requests or PayPal requests maybe for 200 bucks for playing stand-up of his and stuff
I just got a notice. I've never since before the
retracted the request
Tom Myers retracted his request for $200 like and all it took was him not getting his money
That's right. Like I mean don't waste your time. I wasn't gonna give you anybody anyway, Tom Well, then I'm not requesting it. All right
Alright, so this is Tom performing stand-up in
I think this is 2018 as well
What I like about this is it starts with energy. No one knows who he is.
They're like, all right, here's your next comic.
All right, Pittsburgh.
Yeah, we're up from cool.
And you're going to see like he slowly loses the audience.
Like they're trying to like him.
Yeah, obviously he's following someone who is funny.
They're revved up.
They're ready to go.
I'm 34 years old and my girlfriend looks at my penis the same way.
Kids look at snow, waiting to hear if school's going to be closed.
Anything less than six inches and there's bitter disappointment.
I know you're looking at the way I'm dressed and you're looking at the way I have my haircut.
I know I look like the son Donald Trump gave up for adoption.
Being from Maryland, I get asked look like the son Donald Trump gave up for adoption.
Being from Maryland, I get asked to do West Virginia a lot. I learned something interesting about West Virginia is that West Virginia broke away from Virginia during the Civil War.
Virginia was a part of the Confederacy and the people of West Virginia wanted to go back with the Union.
So the good people of the state of West Virginia didn't want to be known as a bunch of backwoods,
inbred, redneck racists.
Oh, the fucking irony.
Now that works in Pittsburgh.
Because you don't have to drive too far out of Pittsburgh to end up in West Virginia.
And boy do you know it too.
They go, this, this ain't Pennsylvania anymore.
So that joke works there.
So he still got the crown.
You know, he started with that six inch joke that makes zero sense at all
You know the kids out of snow day and his girlfriend whatever the fuck that was and people laugh though people laugh
They're like yeah, but yeah, I thought the same thing. I was like, I don't get it like it doesn't make any sense
But they're like, okay. Yeah penis. Yep. Great six inches get it. All right moving out. Yeah, West Virginia. Yeah, right racist. Yeah, okay
I Great six inches get it. All right moving out. Yeah, West Virginia. Yeah, right racist. Yeah, okay, I
Get to travel to some places like I got to drive through Alabama not too long ago I saw a welcome sign that said welcome to the birthplace of Helen Keller
When you know what there was nothing to see down there
So I gotta give him credit it was structured like a joke
So I gotta give him credit it was structured like a joke
It got groans not a great thing to get in the comedy club
But that joke was structured like a joke would be stressed. It had a beginning and an end. Yes
There's a punchline is amazing
When you know what there was nothing to see down there
I did a New Year's Eve show in Kansas. I went into this venue.
It was one of those venues that had all sorts of scary bumper stickers over the bar.
This one bumper sticker I saw over the bar said, Ted Kennedy's car has killed more people
than my gun.
What a scary bumper sticker.
Oh, very intense.
I want to go over the bumper sticker in response to that that says,
more young women have been shot in the face by guns than by Bill Clinton.
You know it's true.
Whoa, he just lost everyone with that one.
So if you had all the guns in the world, if you had all the guns and Bill Clinton's penis,
which has shot more loads in the world. He doubled down in fact. He had all the guns and Bill Quinn's penis, which has shot more loads of the people. Yeah, he was feeling confident too. He was! He was running over that way, he's like, check out this joke, guys. Okay?
Nah, I kid small towns, I really do. I love small towns. The women in small towns get the best blow jobs. I wonder the fact they don't have any teeth left. Oh boy. You're right, you can hear that faltering laughing now.
People are starting to realize, oh he's a hack.
Oh shit.
We wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt, but here we go.
Oh he's getting the nervous laughter now.
We backed that up real quick.
I love it when he gets the nervous laughter.
He has no teeth left.
Oh he's even tapping.
Yeah, he's twitching.
See his nervous hand tapping his leg?
Come on, come on Tommy, we can do this.
We can dig ourselves out of this.
Looking at his watch.
I love keeping up with current events.
I read an interview with the billionaire
financier Warren Buffett.
In this interview he admitted
that he drinks five cans of Coca-Cola a day.
Five cans of Coke a day? If he ever eats an entire packet of Mentos his head's gonna skyrocket higher than his net worth.
You'll get that one later, all right?
Oh, okay. Two things here. First off, higher than his net worth. Yeah, I things here. Yeah, first off higher than his net worth Yeah
That is net worth I tell ya and then I hate when comics go
You'll get that one later as if it's just too sophisticated for you, right?
Like mixing Diet Coke and Mentos is so sophisticated people are gonna figure it out on their way home
I'm in the car. Oh my god that Todd Myers got me again. Yeah the middle of the night you wake up. Oh
Now I get it
It is net worth to be very high. He's a billionaire. Yeah, okay
It's a bit of a leap as a comedian or not a leap, but like it's risky to use Warren Buffett as
Your cultural touchstone not a lot of people I think today like know who he is
The way he transitioned to that he like, I really like following current events.
Okay. What's topical in the news. Warren Buffett's drinking five cokes a day.
This is a current event. What do you mean? Okay.
Kanye West broke up a fight between two photographers. Did you hear about this?
The photographers stopped fighting each other and proceeded to beat the shit out of Kanye West I
Read that the adult video website you porn I think people thought that that was still the setup. Yeah
Yeah, that's like we're pedo. Just like okay now the joke go ahead
They started beating up. It's got any West and now the joke and he's got nothing
That's the moment where he's like my setups need to be way longer
The problem is I'm being said I was just too short. They don't realize that was a punchline. I
Read that the adult video website you porn they're gonna start making adult movies for the visually impaired
Sounds kind of self-defeating doesn't it seeing as how
watching adult movies made you visually impaired in the first place? I just don't get that.
I thought I gave you hairy palms or something. Is there a thing where you'll go blind if you
watch porn? Is that a... I think if you... I think an old... another old wives tells if you jerk off you could go blind
Yeah, Mike Mike Gary
Skirt a little earlier in your life. That's too bad
Share this to Facebook
Watches a video of people doing the most dehumanizing things to one another, and then thinks, this will be those pictures of my niece's birthday party at Kenny Wood?
Yeah, who is thinking that, Tom?
People often ask me where I get my sense of humor. I tell them, my father.
My father was always big on joking around with us, kids growing up.
My favorite joke that he used to tell us was,
kids, I love you.
My mother's not a stage mother by any definition of the word.
Yeah, of course not.
He acts like he's a celebrity.
Can you believe this?
I'm not even into show business and here I am.
Okay. I like the idea of Tom was having a stage mom at this age though
Get up there Tommy come on. We got as we still got to go over to the stress factory. We gotta hit the
Big fat black pussy cat later, and we don't want you late for your shift
Yeah, then we got to see people at tables a lot of work today today All right The term I told my mother that I was doing Las Vegas my very first time.
And my mother's first words were now Tom, while you're in Las Vegas, I don't want you
to go into any place that has gambling.
Like mom, they have slot machines at days.
All right.
It's Las Vegas.
You gamble enough when you go in there to eat.
Say what?
Mom, we were raised Catholic. Go ahead and book me. Oh, we tried to work like two. Yeah into one
That's like combining shampoo and conditioner. It's like yeah, it doesn't work
Need to be in separate tubes
Daddy is eating there is like gambling but also the slot machines there, which is gambling
They want a gambling it didn't get twice the
left.
Daddy's.
Be in a Catholic seminary for the duration of my stay, all right? Besides, if I tell
them I just be an altar boy, be the only place in Las Vegas I can get a handjob for free.
That's a joke obviously. There's no such thing as a freehand job in Las Vegas every time I masturbated I had to tip myself
My uncle is a real funny guy well bring him on
He had a tip himself every time he masturbated. He will not stop referring to sexual acts like on himself.
Like who wants to think of that at a comedy?
Like, he's just like, women can get away with that.
Right.
But like a guy repeatedly talking about masturbating and all this other shit.
And he looks like he's addicted to porn.
Yeah.
And he talks about it too much.
It makes everyone uncomfortable.
I had to tip myself.
My uncle was a real funny guy. addicted to porn. Yeah. And he talks about it too much. It makes everyone uncomfortable. I had to tip myself.
My uncle was a real funny guy.
My uncle's one of those people who can make you laugh
by reading the phone book.
He had Tourette's.
Anybody have those relatives that always unplugged every-
You know, it's funny.
That joke could work,
but he's already lost everyone by now.
Yeah.
He can make you laugh reading the phone book
He has Tourette's then you can even give an example like that would tell him to do like what would that sound like?
That's what I was waiting for
He could have come up with something but oh, yeah, the second I joke fluff man
He puts his head down and he just goes. Yep. He's like, no, it's crazy, too
These people I gotta ask Ray about this these people go around and bomb with the same material everywhere
They go do they ever think like maybe it's me. I can't believe it the whole month. The crowds have just been terrible
my whole tour
Kidding Ray. Love you, buddy. This is a setup that no one is following cuz no one can relate to it. He had Tourette's
set up that no one is following because no one can relate to it. He had Tourette's.
Anybody have those relatives that always unplugged every single electrical appliance before they left the house? No. No. Maybe a space eater. That's it. Okay. No, no,
not that we have that. Let's go. Aunt did that. She did that not only at home but at her work,
and they fired her for it. To be fair, she was a hospice nurse. I love traveling, I love performing, I love going home to my
cat. I love my cat. My cat is just like a man. He really is. I know as soon as I get
home, my cat just like a man is going to be sucked out of my couch in front of my TV Going hey, what's up? You know my food dishes empty my damn food dishes empty
And have you seen the state of my litter box?
I know you don't clean your bathroom
I know because I tried to use that because I can't even use my but please seriously clean it out
I'm sure these conversations he has where he plays his cat at himself in his very lonely depressing apartment are hilarious
Don't do it on stage.
This makes everyone sad.
Like, by the way, guys, just so you know,
I know I seem like I'm a loser.
I go home to a cat.
Okay.
I don't have anyone to talk to.
Oh, it's so sad.
Re-do my food dish, clean out my litter box.
I'm gonna sit here and watch television.
No, I'm not changing the channel either.
Well, I don't have thumbs.
I can't. So, no, I'm not watching the channel either well I want to thumbs I can't so
No, I'm not watching animal planet you dork. I'm watching my favorite movie of all time old yellow
Way to go out with a bang. Yeah, I know
Way to go out with a bang. Yeah, I know.
He never adds up a solid joke either.
I could tell that was his closer.
It's so bad.
Why does he suck so bad at this?
I don't know, but never stop, Tom.
That's true.
It is weird that a guy so prolific and have such a weak grasp of the craft.
Yes.
You would think that at some point he'd figure out how to craft a joke, you know, it's not funny
Yeah, it would make make sense to people that it's a joke and he understands how jokes work
Yeah, like I'm seriously Tom like who has a relative that goes around and unplugged everything before they leave unless they have like autism
Or something. Yeah, right. That would be an extreme issue. Yeah
You'd have to like get psychological. Again, not something most
people can relate to. Right. All right, guys, we got to I'm going to keep this brief, but
I want to bring up what Aaron was talking about this week. Please, please, please, guys.
Stream labs, PayPal, super chats, Rumble Rants, Venmo.
Maybe, you know what?
Maybe we don't deserve it.
That's our new stinger from at the end of there, thank you.
I still haven't put yours on the board, producer Chris.
I'll get to it.
That's fine.
Eventually, I'm sure it'll happen.
So, Aaron Imhol decided to start calling me out this week.
I don't know why.
All I do is host a show once a week called this little
Piggy Fridays of water. What's not to like it's a roundtable. This is gonna get bright. We're gonna get you on that show
Yeah, I'd love to get your take on the week in Aaron Imholz
It's been a fascinating journey so far within four episodes and another one yesterday over on Patrick Melton's channel
so if you want to check that out and I
Patrick Melton's channel. So if you want to check that out, and I mentioned this on that show but I did not actually play any of this. So this would be a good place to begin where
Aaron is calling me out and he's doing the thing that well, I want to play out and then
we can discuss it. I've obviously heard this before from people. This is nothing new. Wow. You know what? This might surprise some people.
I would say I hope Chad Zumach survives.
I think Chad Zumach still has more entertainment to provide to the world.
So this is another thing. You know someone is a little cow when they start complimenting
Chad Zumach un-ironically. That's like's like John is trying to be front of the chance.
You back to key doesn't as a joke, but Aaron is totally
legit about this. He's trying to team up with the Z man.
He's got more entertainment to deliver to the universe.
I'm waiting for some to start.
But according to him, he's he's going to hold.
I think these people who have been doing this during John grift forever are pathetic
I think if your whole thing has just been this one guy or watching other shit like there's no I can't accurately
express
How little respect I have for whatever it is you do if that's all you're doing. It's pathetic
It really is and I think you might be talking about me
It's pathetic. It really is. And I think he might be talking about me.
Or spiritually.
Also be careful what you wish for
because it's like, you know,
oh, pathetic cover is starting to,
why don't you cover other people?
It's like, well, they are.
Now all eyes are on you.
Right, yeah, so it's happening.
Don't worry, don't worry about that.
I don't care how many views you get.
I don't care how much money you make.
It's easy, it's clown shoes,
and you're not an entertainer.
You just, at best you're a shitty
Documentarian alright, so this is his new thing now
He doesn't care how successful you are how many people enjoy it
It's clown shoes and it's pathetic as if this asshole who begs on every episode cuz they're a small show
And he has to beg if someone gave him a winning for me treat right to enter the devil first
That's why we know about him. So he entered the dabble first. Didn't go well for him. If this fucking
asshole was given a, Hey, here's how to program your show. So you no longer have to beg for
money and people sign up for a monthly subscription and you make enough money that you never have
to bring that up. He would sign up for whatever it was. Well, if begging is three quarters
of his content, it is now.
Yeah, I don't think he wants it to be. I mean, it is the most entertaining part for all of
us. He hates it. It stresses them out. He does not enjoy it at all. You don't think
he's just accepted it by this point? Because he seems to have leaned into it a little bit.
He does. But then at the same time, he goes, I'm only going to do this for six more weeks.
We're not going to stop begging. And he's talking about getting jobs and he wanted to get voiceover
work, get back on the radio. And now it turns out that he's teaching at the gym. He's actually got
a job with the gym that he goes to. We just found out this week. So I think that he's looking for
any escape and then to say like, yeah, look at these guys who are goofing on stuttering, John,
I would never do that. Oh yeah.
I'm the one who should be embarrassed about what I do online.
Okay.
And you're not really adding anything to entertainment and like, honestly, who are you shitting on?
You're shitting on stuttering John.
You understand stuttering John has accomplished more in his career than any of us ever will.
Here we go.
Here we go.
John's more successful than you argument. Take it away.
This is the dumbest argument possible. Please explain this to us that we can't make fun of John
because he got hired by the Tonight Show. So you're mocking a man who's more successful than all of
us ever will be. Like say what you want about the guys at do doofus whatever. There's a lot of famous doofuses out there But say what you want about the guy
He is a part of
historic pop culture
Right like when people talk about the greatest greatest radio programs of all time
They'll talk about the Howard Stern show and he'll be a footnote to that when people talk about the greatest late-night comedy shows of all time
they'll talk about Jay Leno right up with Carson and Letterman and Stuttering John will
be a footnote to that. So I've always found the whole Stuttering John thing to be sorry,
pathetic.
Yeah, you already said that. So I'm confused. I always
thought punching up was the right way to go with comedy. But
he's explaining that you can't punch up because that person's
accomplished more things. And, and you know, me, if you guys
know anything about me, my whole angle is I try to prove that I'm
more successful in show business than anyone else that we talk
about. That's the whole point of the show is we got the resumes, we got the IMDB credits, we go through all the different
things and we try to analyze who had more success in show business.
But also like what Aaron's failing to mention is that like nobody's arguing that Stuttering
John has had successful moments. It's that he lives in the past often.
That's why he's fascinating. John wouldn't be fascinating if he wasn't the announcer for the Tonight Show
If he wasn't the phone screener for the Howard Stern show, that's what makes him interesting
It's like holy shit. This guy's a moron. He can't do anything and he had these great jobs at one point and he had fame
It's nuts. That's why he's
entertaining to us. I think Aaron's
Psychotic, but I think he knows that. He just cannot admit it.
Of course when you become his enemy he'll just change how he thinks and and what he's saying
to fit that narrative for him. And this is what I mean it's a very phony thing to do he's calling
me pathetic. He's phony because there was a time when he loved WATP and would tell me about it
and we haven't changed. It's a bunch of people who are nobodies
ripping on a guy who's been somebody before.
Right.
Do you see why that's so funny?
Do you see why that's amazing?
That all of a sudden now we get more views watching John
than John gets on his own show.
It's kind of funny, right?
See how he was famous and stuff.
Yeah, and that's what Stuttering John would say too.
This is the Stuttering John argument right here,
which is crazy that this is where Aaron's head is now.
Chad Zumach is funny and Stuttering John is famous
and made it in Joe Biss and so you have no right
to rip on him.
Okay.
It almost like every time I see a Carl or anyone else
like make fun of Stuttering John, it feels like cope.
It feels like, like, are you trying to talk yourself into what you're saying? Have you not
seen Stuttering John? I know this is what's so insane about
this. He thinks I'm coping. You can go back. Stuttering Sex
Pastas posted all of this on YouTube. You can go back and
see the origin of how we started making fun of Stuttering
John's because the show format that we have
Taken off from jocktober
So we made fun of podcasts and John was such a trade rack that we just continued to listen to shows and goof on him
I was never like ah
Man, if only I could be as famous and as good a podcasting as suddenly John Belinda's maybe if I tear him down
It'll build me up. Like I don't think that way you can't think that way and be successful in life. It's retarded
But Aaron does Aaron's a zero-sum game guy was just like oh, this is Karl coping because he's not as famous
or as bloated as John because this guy's had more success than all of us and if you can't admit that and
You're gonna act like you're above this guy. You're being a massive phony. That's funny that he would say phony
I can admit that John was more successful than me in show business
I know that for a fact it's one of the things that we make fun of about John
He lives in the past and he talks about all his accomplishments over and over and over again
I'm not denying them. I don't sit here and go I made even work for the Tonight Show. No, I know he did
I'm very aware of that and for him to say that we're being a phony because we're trying to deny that he was more
successful, again, he makes up something that's not true and then uses that to attack you.
And you're just trying to deny that Stuttering John had a career in show business. Nope,
we're not. And that's what makes you a phony, Carl. Yeah, no, but the premise though is wrong. So
what you said about me is wildly inaccurate. I've already moved on fan of you, Carl. Yeah, no, but the premise though is wrong. So, what you
said about me is wildly and I've already moved on to the
funny part. Okay, you're also a jerk. Fair enough. Fair enough.
Uh McBuster says Chud Zumuck is a buffoon. I don't know. I
think Chad's honest about who he is. I think Chad's honest.
Okay. Yeah, no, he's definitely very honest with his audience, with himself.
He's not living in denial at all. No, you're right.
That's honest about the kind of content he does. I mean, I can see where you'd perceive
him to be a prick. I mean, obviously he and I are never going to be friends, but I don't
know. Again, I think he's harmless.
I think he's harmless. Holy shit. Do I have to remind people what their history is between Chad and Erin and Erin's ex-wife Ashley LaRue?
and Chad going after the families and all this stuff and
Eventually it got to the point where Erin goes. We're not talking about Chad anymore. Stop talking about
saying
April and all this crazy shit. So he's just like, ah, why does Aaron keep bringing up Chad?
He wants to be friends with them. Oh when they were on MLC together
So Aaron got a chance on MLC and Chad was on they're gonna have this big confrontation and Melton called it
He goes Aaron's gonna go in there and try to charm Chad and try to be friends and by the end of that episode
Chad was getting an invite to their 10th year anniversary show at Stoney's because this
is what Aaron does he wants to disarm people and he wants to create these
connections so that he can build his little network up and so that's why he's
like talking up Gino lately because Keanu has turned on him. And he's just like, you know, Keanu,
whatever. But you know, Gino, he's he's better than this. He'll figure it out. He's a good
dude.
What? He's like, I know, I know where Gino's heart is that. Yeah, I know where Gino's at.
So that's Gino's cue to be like, Oh, I better figure this out. Right. Yes. He's like, Oh,
Aaron will still be my friend. I didn't realize. Okay. I got to get on that then. Real quick. So yesterday, a bunch of people sent me notes.
I don't watch Chad Zumak show, but I got notes from people saying, Hey, he's talking about
producer Chris today. So I clicked in for a little bit. I saw a little bit of it. I
think you did too. Yeah. And so he was just like, Chad Zumak, this is what Chad's doing
now. He goes, producer Chris was saying all this crazy shit about me
He's such a piece of shit
He was saying that I'm the big thing was we were making a joke that he's gonna loot Tampa after Hurricane Milton, right?
It's like yeah, it's a joke. He's just like he's fucking lying about me saying I'm gonna loot. It's like it's not a lie
It's a joke based on your criminal history
Based on the fact that you steal a lot.
That's what the joke is.
I'm not the only one making that joke.
Yeah, we all get it.
And the chance that he's taking that personally
is like you're going after him.
And he's saying that you're going after his looks,
and you're going after this and going after that.
Play the clip.
I don't even know, he's just like,
yeah, Chris is saying all this crazy shit about me.
So because of that, that justifies him to then dox you.
So his big, and this was pretty crazy what happened here. We found out
Chris has a full name. He has a his first name is actually Christian. It's not Christopher
It's Christian and we found out his last name too, which I'm pretty sure you wear a sweater
But then he goes and you know what I found out
He found a picture of you bartending and he goes
Chris is a 52 year old bartender and
That's all you need to know about this guy. So Chad won that round right when he said that I was exposed
You were exposed for what's really going on here. I didn't understand what the angle was. I was like he doesn't either
I gotta tell you what I was watching it
I was so torn because I really like producer Chris, but I also like Chad I find him entertaining
So when he starts talking shit, I was like, what are you doing?
And I don't understand what's entertaining about him though. So he literally came in with zero jokes
I even saw people with chat like do you have jokes about producer Chris or something? Just like, no, this is what his name is.
This is a picture of him tending bar, which proves he's a bartender. That picture of you was from like
10 years ago. Your hair color is completely different. It is. There he is right there.
Like, well, how do you know he's still attending bar? I'm not. He hasn't been a bartender for many
years, but apparently Chad's got it all figured out. And I'm not even going to say what the
restaurant is. It's, it's. It was Rocco. Yeah.
It's a great restaurant.
When you're in Rochester, come to Rocco for Italian food, very authentic,
great Italian food.
And he lives in a nice house. Yeah, I know.
He was explaining that you rent and shit. I'm just like, great man.
You're fucking PI really came up with a lot of great stuff. Congratulations.
Isn't that why he's funny though? Is it his his disinformation? The shit that he says. You're
watching him. Ironically, it's what you're saying. I guess so.
I don't know. I like my wife watches him too. Yeah. Well,
she's crazy. Yeah, that's true. Guy talk real quick. That Mary
Beth. Watch out for little fucking dots. Am I right? All
right. We got to talk about what another idiot was saying this week.
principle uncertainty. He's got his finger on the pulse. I feel some empathy for Chad. He's a broken boy. Aaron knows better and chooses to be a social and so choose to be
sociopathic. Yes. I think that's a good assessment on that. I have another stinger for Centering John that we could probably even use for our YouTube videos. Bloody ass, bloody ass, whoa.
Douche of the dabble verse coming out the acoustic version of Bloody Ass.
We do appreciate that.
So John comes on his show yesterday, he got his power back.
Thursday night, he gets home, his power is back on, air conditioning is working, very exciting.
So yesterday he did his show and he starts off. This is exciting. He's wearing
a new shirt. Yeah, baby. You would think everybody knows that, but they don't. So of course it
starts with the nobody messes with the Duke. Everyone knows that. And then he's like, Oh,
they don't because what happened is that more tapes were revealed of the Kate Meany phone calls on the uncle Rico show this week.
And John is reeling from that.
He is none too happy about it.
They don't know it.
They're still playing illegally recorded phone calls.
Not good.
Hey, Scrat, thank you, Ivy Supersonic for this wonderful t-shirt.
I will wear it in your honor.
So remember that t-shirt that Ivy Supersonic wanted him to buy from her was $50.
They connected on Facebook and she's like, do you want a shirt?
And John goes, sure sure I'll take a shirt
She goes. All right, just spend on me 50 bucks. He goes. I don't need shirts. I
Remember so now he's wearing a shirt and the way he says that where that in her honor as if she's dead or something
I know he makes me think that maybe he didn't pay for it
Of course not which would be my guess and then later clay dabbler comes on and we get a confirmation here
Oh, that's And then later clay dabler comes on and we get a confirmation here That's I could you could you believe clay there are people including
Including oh, yeah, I was gonna say she sent you one of the t-shirts. Did you have to pay 50 bucks?
He's so proud of himself, yep, this woman wanted 50 bucks for this t-shirt and
He brought her on like this was this really sad story.
She got her intellectual property stolen from her
by Fox or Disney and he's like,
I'm not gonna give her 50 bucks though.
Fuck that.
So then a super-chatter calls him out later in the show
and it's one of those humminahumminahs
where John doesn't know how to answer this.
Jake and Brian asked, thanks for the two bucks. I'm sure you paid that struggling artist 50 for his shirt.
Hey, listen, that's struggling artist.
I'm a struggling artist.
So from one struggling artist to the other,
I am helping her by wearing this and telling everyone
to go to her website, Ivy Supersonic,
and get a scrap t-shirt.
What's the website?
She does have a website. It's not Ivy Supersonic and get a scrap t-shirt She does have a website. That's not it's not IV supersonic
There is an actual URL for her website and Josh pretending that he's doing her a good deed
Also, I love the fact I'm a struggling artist remember right before the hurricane. He was wealthy
Yeah, he was explaining how wealthy he was. So did he lose all the money in the hurricane? What do you mean? He's struggling artist
Well, he oscillates between big guy little guy all the time. He sure does just to fit his narrative
Yeah, so in this scenario. Yeah, God, right? I was gonna say is John gonna allow himself to go gracefully go gray
Is that what we're seeing here or he's just behind on his die job? He's behind the die jam
Because the super cuts were closed for a few days.
Oh, okay.
Because Milton.
Yeah.
All right.
Let's find out about John's adventures during the hurricane and I hope he was able to watch
the Yankees game.
I hope he was able to get drunk somewhere.
I know.
Fingers crossed. The only bar that was open around here that had sports was Hurricane, Grilling Wings.
So I went there to watch Yankees, which started at 8.15. started 815 and Unfortunately it turned out that they were already kicking people out 8 o'clock cuz they ran out of food
So
Then somebody told me I should try Buffalo Wild Wings
So I moseyed on over there. I
Walked on down the hole.
Buffalo wild wings.
It was close.
The Duke was getting nervous.
Of course you're getting nervous.
You're not drunk yet. It's eight o'clock at night.
You're not watching the game.
He's like, oh, this is not good for me.
What kind of asshole just
drives to places these days? Just fucking find out if they're open or not call them so easy also
The way you tell stories. It's so unnecessary these details
Yeah, and the pause is in between so then I go there and then somebody says to try here
So then I go there and then that place doesn't open so that moves you on down the hall
I know they've got to go into a stupid doors references or whatever the fuck else
I know he's got to go into his stupid doors references or whatever the fuck else
So then he goes to this barbecue joint now this barbecue joint that he's gonna talk about here. I've been to I'll never go back I found out they've been closed down
multiple times
Because they don't pass inspections
And all the locals who live in Cape Coral like yeah, don't go there. I've talked to many locals are like oh yeah
I would never never ever go there. So there is a ghetto in
the place you don't want to go to. Listen to this fucking story. Ended up befriending the bar
tenders, taking pictures with some of the patrons. Of course, you know, they all recognize my voice
because I am the world famous Stuttering John. They recognize you yelling. I'm the world famous
Stuttering John. We know that this is I'm the world famous Stuttering John.
We know that this is what he does.
We've heard from people firsthand accounts where he, when he's talking to a stranger,
he immediately starts telling them that he's Stuttering John from Howard Stern Show.
The patrons are recognizing his voice, getting selfies with him.
What an amazing world he lives in.
And before you know it, the bartenders bartenders were like well we're closing at
nine but there's still people in here and they're eating so I strategically waited to order
my dinner at about 855. So I got a half rack of baby back ribs with a side of mashed potatoes
and beans so they had pretty much. Why is he talking like that? I don't know why he's
talking like that. What an absolute asshole. I know the
restaurant closes at 90 orders food at 855. It's infuriating
for everybody involved. Yeah. I don't know clean that place as
I've heard it's not that clean. But now also the entire kitchen
staff hates you. Oh, yeah. So this food's not going to come
out well for you at all. That's such a dick move to force people to stay later. We
close at nine. Yeah. Alright. But the Yankees game is still
on. Yeah, you're right. It is still on, John. Good point.
You're the celebrity. So listen to this. This is gonna enrage
you because now everyone knows that you've worked as a
bartender in Mars. Listen to this. They said, John, just stay
and watch the game. We got to clean and I
got to close my tab up. It's going to take a while. Game of course, a Duke tip, which is
way beyond 20%. Okay. So the bartender is like, all right, you can just sit here. We got to clean
up anyway. And he gave a Duke tip Which is way beyond 20%
My guess is that it's out beyond 25% or else you would have used 25 or 30
30 my guess is that way better percent is pretty close to 20%
in this scenario, otherwise you would word it that way and
It was very very ecstatic about my
Generosity, they let me stay there for the whole game. So this fucking asshole, he just said the game started at 815.
Baseball games go on for two and a half to three hours.
And he's sitting there.
This was close at nine.
And he sat there while they were closing down the restaurant the entire time.
Could you imagine?
I'm imagining now and I'm getting pissed.
Chris has told me stories about people who come in late off the street hey guys
still open and just want to hang out all night and everyone in the restaurant
wants to murder them yeah you are ruining whatever they're trying to
accomplish to get out of there and move out with their lives by hanging out
there but that's John it's all about him he's he's so fucking selfish. He has to sit there and give a, you know, a tip over 20%.
He, I mean he should.
Like, well, why is he, why is he
I know.
Pound himself on the back.
That's a no brainer right there. Over 20%. No shit.
Yeah. I was listening to Chad yesterday, talk about how funny he is.
And of course he doesn't do anything funny on his show.
No, purposely.
You shouldn't have to try and convince people with your words other than telling jokes that you're funny
And if you're generous in the words of Carl just do it
Well, you know what this sent me the Nike
I'm zooming in on John because I just want to point out either. He's eating shit sandwiches, or he didn't shave real well
There's all these dark patches around his lips
Well reason yeah, it's it is left over here, but that's where the shit builds up from the sandwich
Okay, so the reason why I'm pointing that out is because he's gonna talk about how he's got a date tonight
And that's why he's all cleanly shaven no I, I know, I know. And you know, I thought I bought new razors,
but I guess I didn't, so I had these, the old one.
But you know, here's a little tip
for all you people out there.
If you have an old toothbrush, use the toothbrush
to clean the three blades, you know,
I think I had three or five blades,
and you take the toothbrush and you just
clean out the blades and then it's as good as new.
I just buy disposable ones using cut ties for them away.
Yeah. But the do life.
Now the reason why old razors are unusable is cause they get dull like John.
And they rip the shit out of it.
They get tall like John and John goes, I can fix that with a toothbrush.
Millionaire.
No, you can't. That's how that works. And I'll you retard. That's why your face looks terrible. John and Jack goes I can fix that with a toothbrush Millionaire
That's how that works and all you retard
So your face looks terrible
And who I mean who's being that pragmatic if you're wealthy and have millions of dollars. I like these any
I thought I bought a new razor
But I didn't I bought a used one
You thought you bought a razor
So he's he can't live by himself. He can't take care of himself. Yeah, it's crazy
All right. So now he's talking about playing the cape meanie phone calls. You haven't watched uncle rico this week. Check it out
They're all animated. It's very fun the way they put that together
Discount don doing the animation on it doing a great gem
So john is once again upset that this is happening and he's going to take
action. And the city, it gets horrible. Kentucky, I know Viking kept saying new tapes, new tapes.
They were same old fucking tapes and they had animation to it. And you know what? They're
illegally recorded. You know, I'm, they're starting to force me to Sue. I mean, this is the funniest thing John has has ever said he's not trying to be funny at all
But he's like, you know what? I might actually sue this time. Are you kidding me? John?
They're starting to force me to sue I was debating about it
Uh-huh, and I was gonna just keep me disappeared
Which is he does the sucker and suck attached thing with me? What's going on with the amount of saliva in his mouth right here?
I was gonna just keep me disappeared
Good for Kate Meany. I was gonna say well at least she's gone now and she can get healthy get
Mentally stable and I was debating maybe I won't sue but now these guys are so blatantly
you know saying yeah John I just might now. Oh yeah you think so? Brian what do you think the odds are that John's
gonna sue for these Kate Media tapes? I mean if history dictates I'm gonna say
hover somewhere around 0%. Yeah I would think so too. He was claiming he was
gonna sue me and Shuley and the Comedy Club and Vinnie Paulino and Kate, Kate's mom. Yeah you see no movement so too. He was claiming he was gonna sue me and shooley and the comedy club and viddie paulino and gabe gabe
In months, right? Yeah, nothing has happened
Remember when playing that the comedy club was the biggest mistake we'd ever made and uh, that was going to be the end of all of us
For doing that
Yeah, we were all going to be in jail together, right?
I know what happened to that now he's going i've been debating whether or not to sue well this has changed a lot john you were guaranteeing that we were going to be behind bars
and lose all of our wealth and earnings for this even though i just want to say i had nothing to
do with the taste being played at the apple cot 2 brian's my witness i wasn't on the stage i didn't I'm gonna call my new buddy.
Vince the lawyer.
Ask him if he wants to take the case for me.
I'm gonna call my new buddy.
Vince the lawyer.
I'm gonna call my new buddy.
Vince the lawyer.
I'm gonna call my new buddy.
Vince the lawyer.
I'm gonna call my new buddy.
Vince the lawyer.
I'm gonna call my new buddy.
Vince the lawyer.
I'm gonna call my new buddy.
Vince the lawyer. Vince the lawyer. Vince the my now new buddy, Vince, the lawyer,
ask him if he wants to take the case for me.
Why not? A double verse, another double verse court case.
Not that yours went to court.
So Vince man, come on, we'll do a contingency deal.
Well, you know, I mean mean we can get some fucking bucks buddy
Let's know when box no win no fee
Yeah, but I mean, you know Kate's got money. I mean these guys got I mean, you know
I wouldn't mind taking the shit away his house and fucking you know
Now I am not an attorney
They pretend to be an attorney
But if you were gonna sue someone for damages, let's say
Would it be a good idea to not make it obvious that it's all about revenge?
Your show before the lawsuit takes place like I'm gonna get his house
And Kate Meany's got money and I'm gonna take her money and I'm gonna give the house to homeless people like
So wait, what were the damages again that you suffered John a house worth
John though that is fantasy John. I love as soon as he said he was gonna take Julie's house
He's like, yeah, but I don't like his house. So I'm gonna let all those people
How does that even work?
Surely that work was broke and truly workedy worked at Applebee's or whatever.
They came up with their minds.
Well, that's a funny thing.
John declaring that Bob Lee was going to, he's got a mold.
Bob Lee was going to leave the Shuley network.
This is all crumbling.
It's a house of cards.
That was a year ago.
They're still doing their thing.
They're still, everyone's still there doing the show.
At what point do you go?
I don't know if I'm talking about I should stop making these bold predictions
Well, right I mean it never will well
He was gonna sue Anthony Kumia. Yes, and then decided not to because it wasn't worth it. There wasn't enough money
I know right he goes. Yeah, he doesn't have enough money. Anthony doesn't. Yeah, trust me If I had a reason to sue Anthony Kate Meany has more money than Anthony Kate Meany's mom might Kate Meany does
Yeah, but she's an adult. So I don't know how you sue her mom. I don't think that's how that works at all
He's so stupid and
I gotta say clay on here and he's been a little bit more bold lately
He's actually trying to speak the truth to John about Kate Meany.
Careful, Clay, John does not like the truth on his show.
She obviously, when I look at it more and more,
she was just trolling the whole time for a laugh.
Well, but here's the weird thing.
She loved Kevin's show and she loved my show
and she fucked both of us over, which is weird.
Why fuck over the people that actually are defending you?
I bet she has a good old laugh of our mates about it.
Look what I'm doing to these old dudes.
Yeah.
John does not want to hear that.
I love the John goes, yeah, but Kate liked my show and she liked MLC.
Why would she do this to us?
Uh, she didn't.
That's why.
No, she really did like me. She didn't. She's recording your call. She was goofing on you. She was planning this all us? She didn't. That's why. No, she really did like me.
She didn't.
She was recording your call, she was goofing on you.
She was playing this all along.
She doesn't like your show, no one does.
And I love that Clay goes-
Clay can still be confused at this point.
That's what's incredible about this.
He's still in denial.
He's like, no, no, no.
She really liked me.
She didn't.
I love that Clay goes,
yeah, she's probably having a laugh with her friends
about how she duped you old man.
And John's like, yeah.
He's probably. Let's never talk about that again.
Has anybody ever told you how funny you were?
Jen, you fucking fell for a trap.
They put the case of Coors Light underneath the box
with the stick on it, and you climbed right into that thing
and got caught in it, you idiot.
Yeah, and instead of saying, yeah, fuck that bitch. He's like no
She really liked me. Yeah, she really fucked herself over cuz she loved my show. Yeah, I'm sure she's living with regret right now
Okay, so on the tapes one of the big things that came out was that John was claiming he would go to Pickwick pub
when he was in LA, Kenoga Park,
and he would buy a gram of cocaine,
and then he would, not a gram, an eighth or something,
and then he would mail that to himself
in Cape Florida, Cape Coral.
And this was something that he said
in a private conversation
that he didn't want to get out to people.
And so this is how he's responding to it now.
Hey, you were wrong, dickhead.
Kentucky Antiviking, thanks for the fiber.
You called me your future wife in a minute to mail in cocaine.
That's federal offense.
Guess what?
Just because I said it doesn't make it true.
Hey, Clay.
I just mailed myself some cocaine.
It should be here any day.
Oh, oh, is that true?
I just I just mailed John ten pounds of heroin. Oh, yeah
Oh, it's coming in the mail. Is it true because you said it? I don't know
He is saying
so stupid
Okay, so you're lying to Kate about mailing yourself cocaine so you're trying to
impress her? What was the reason then if you were lying about it? Is it because you wanted to
incentivize her to visit you in Florida because you were hoping to fuck her? Sounds to me like
that would be, yeah I got a lot of coke at my Florida house if you ever want to come down and
visit me. She likes the booger sugar. She does. What do want that Kate and so now it's like it's crazy
So I won't think that that was a real thing that he was saying in a private conversation to someone
Like oh, we just thought that you weren't lying
Why obviously was the wild assumption?
Right for once we thought you're telling the truth
so
Then John plays a video clip of a Trump supporter and this Trump supporter is so stupid.
She thinks that the hurricane was modified by the government to take out people who are
obviously Trump supporters and potential voters before the election.
And so John's playing that he's laughing.
It's like, look at this idiot.
It's just like all you people in the pores chat right now.
You're also stupid. You don't know
what's going on. And again, props to Clay for pointing out that something that John is goofing
on is real, is a real thing. But John, cloud seeding is a thing. They make it rain in really hot
countries like Saudi Arabia and shit by seed in the clouds. It's actually a real thing.
Look, so he's making fun of cloud seeding, which is a technology where you could
potentially get more rain out of rain clouds or during a storm or something
like that.
Oh, no, it's not conspiracy. It happens.
All right.
They did like, it's known, it's known. It's not like, it's not a secret.
Okay.
But you can't do it.
John's acting like he's way smarter than Clay. He's just like, Oh, okay.
Oh, you, you fall for that shit too. He's going to do the elephant thing to him. But you can't do John's acting like he's way smarter than clay. He's just like, okay. Oh you you fall for that shit, too
He's gonna do the elephant thing to him, but you can't do that
No, I'm being serious. It's not conspiracy like set to make it rain because there's no rain over there John's smug
Look as clay's explain this to me like, okay. Oh, yeah, I'll Google it. Okay, they do it
That's a scientific thing. Then he finds the Wikipedia page explaining how it works.
It's fucking too it doesn't rain over there so I have to do it. Yeah we heard you.
Okay but but but I doubt they could turn a category to a category five.
Yeah. But Clay, I'm still worried about something, right? Sure.
If you say so. So I like what Clay's doing. He's actually keeping John in check. He's not Rob Sal. He's like, Hey,
wait, what does Rob Sal sound like? So annoying.
That's the one that's actually pretty close to John. All right. So now John
is justifying why he's allowed to go after Gina Levy, why he's allowed to go after a
lot of the women in the dabble verse that he goes after. And again, Clay's disagreeing
here. I'm thinking more like maybe laughs at Bob's joke and agrees, but maybe maybe
I'll comment about Rob. but whenever I've watched it
Nope, she has trashed Rob. She has trashed me
I I've heard it with my own ears. I watch it with my own eyes. So for them to say, oh
She's she's a wife. She's not in the doubt of us. Yeah, but how long
How long ago was that and how long has it been?
Clay she doesn't squash clay Squashed. Clay, Clay.
What, you watched Bob Levy's show one time?
Jesus, can you stop for a second?
Yeah. Clay.
No, play the fucking clip, John.
It's the same thing that Chad was doing.
Producer Chris says this, he says that,
so I'm allowed to do this.
Like, play the clip, what do you mean?
Are you sure about that?
He's going, nope, Gina Levy does this, does that.
And Clay's a fan of Bob Levy, so he's like,
no, I watched the show, I don't know what you're talking about.
Gina has trashed me.
Gina has trashed Rob and won the show.
Now, another thing, Lady K's wife, Jenny Jingles,
she is also broadcasting with Lady K.
And hilarious.
I agree, John.
Good point.
She is therefore in the double version.
I would say Jenny Jingles is more
Opened just for Berlin that change it was is more
Open to it than no, I don't nothing against Jenny Jingles. But like you said, she does do cold show and shekel you got
John hates this. Yeah, why are you challenging me?
Clay dab or just just nod your head yes and agree the thing I say
Why would you challenge me and clay used to not do this and now he is which I like
Yes, thank you clay and so john goes on this amazing rant as he's off to do
and uh
Clay doesn't do a good job playing along
And this is I just call this chemistry And now you do this false selective outrage as if somehow it was me and try and be all
tough guy.
Well, OK, shit where you want to go tough guy.
Let's go tough guy.
Mano E Mano mean you in the ring in Alabama.
I'll pay you 500 tough guy.
Come on, dickhead.
Now you can.
I wish I. I don't know what I was going to say. 500 tough guy. Come on, dickhead.
Now you can. I wish I, uh, I don't know what I was going to say.
Don't ever stop a Melendez buildup like that, Clay.
You have to get your timing right.
Yeah, Clay. That was a classic Melendez buildup.
Got to get out of the way of that sort of thing. It's gold, baby.
How many years do,
can you call for a boxing match that goes
unanswered? They've answered multiple times. I'm pretty sure this has been accepted. Oh,
has it? Oh, I know for a fact that when he challenged frog to a boxing match, frog email
and said, here are the terms. Here's the money I'll pay you. We'll figure out how to get
you here. Let me know when you're going to be in Florida again. And John blocked them.
So the fact that John acts like he's like why won't somebody
fight me first off nobody here is a fighter not even you John obviously this
wouldn't be sanctioned anywhere that's the thing that they point out on TSN
where John will be like we'll get a boxing mat or boxing ring and no headgear and
Bobby was just like why do we need a boxing ring do no headgear and Bobby was just like, why do we need a boxing ring?
Do you want to come and fight us? Let's just do that. Yeah
What the fuck are you doing? You're trying to make this like a sanctioned event. That's legal. It's well safety matters
Yeah, he doesn't seem to care about that
I'm not going to play the clips. I think they're going to cover this on the uncle rico show today
I talked to shooley about it. I can't be there. Unfortunately. I'm going to the Sabres game tonight, but
John was driving by my house on Wednesday. Yeah and filming that for some reason
That was very odd and he kept calling it like a shithole. What was the word he was using to describe my house? He kept saying it was in the ghetto. Yeah, he said it was in the ghetto
And he said it was a shithole. He's so stupid. I don't understand what he's even going for
Yeah, I know but just like careful not to He's so stupid. I don't understand what he's even going for.
Yeah, I know.
Be careful not to dox you though. I watched his little clip.
Yes.
I'm gonna show the number.
Right. Except for one of Vince the Lawyer's sock accounts is in there writing my address
all over the place in the Superchats.
But other than that, yeah, so he was very careful not to dox my address.
But it's just crazy to me that he keeps calling my house a shithole which is fine except for the fact that his house was built
the same year as mine is smaller doesn't have a pool is not a canal and I clean
my house yes we have to keep our house clean so it's ridiculous like what does
that make anything that you're doing John doesn't make any sense at all so
one more clip on here.
John going after Cardiff pretty hard.
So fuck off, fuck you, fuck the potato too.
And that potato is now saying I'm a piece of human garbage.
No potato, you're the guy who hides behind a potato filter,
wears a potato mask and trashes anybody he wants
because you could hide by your own
behind your own fake identity you're a coward and the next time you guys hold one of these events
i am going because i got a few words to talk to you motherfucker right october 25th at the magic bag
in ferndale michigan so if you want to come and fight Cardiff, or I mean have some words with Cardiff, he will be there. We'll all be there. John, stop by.
Another example of a classic Melendez buildup.
Pretty good stuff right there. I love that thing where it's like, if Cardiff doesn't
show what his face looks like, it means he's a coward. What's the difference? For a long
time I did a podcast, I didn't do a YouTube presence and then we started doing YouTube
Did all of a sudden people just like Carl's changed what he's talks about now because now we can see his face
No, nothing's changed the difference. Okay damn thing
I don't understand what that angle is. That's a chance you might think speaking to Chad Zuma
He has said that he might come to the magic back. Oh
No room on the guest list Chad it is sold out
But we'll see outside I guess or something go in the discord to the WTT
Yeah, meet up see if you can get someone to give you tickets or sell them sell your tickets to them
You did see Cardiff calling out John. That's what he's referring to you saw that video. No remind me. It's in dabblers anonymous
Okay, it's in Carter calls out John all the time. But yeah, this this seemed a little more passionate and oh, okay
Yeah, so it's it's worth a view. It's about five minutes long. Nice. Yeah, I always like that
You know what else I like we're talking about Cardiff is
Our review girl Mary Beth Rosie who is here with us. Hey, it's not Mary Beth. Hello
Let's get bright on the bottom.
Get rid of me.
Fix that real quick, didn't we?
Alright guys, it's time for everyone's favorite game show.
Are you ready for this, Marybeth?
Yeah, of course. Nice.
It's time for everyone's favorite new game show.
Topoak.
A dabbler.
Are you ready to play to poke a dabbler?
To bet army major can't join us.
Yeah, I wish he'd come back here.
I mean, I'm gonna try and remove him and hopefully he'll come back.
But that is one gorgeous church.
That's gotta be pure gold now.
That is just amazing.
I remember this episode.
This is where Richo Jetta went to Europe and then he came back
and did a slideshow with a John show his fucking vacation photos like holy shit I can't think of something
more boring oh wait they're talking about Trump again never mind let's go back to the slideshow
see if he's back yet as we wait for the Army Major
Let's just see when the army major gets back here. Oh boy.
How can I reword that?
Yeah, right.
So if you just tune in, we'll get back soon because I got tons of pictures to do with
him.
Pivot, John, pivot.
He was in the army.
Do something else.
We really need his narration.
Right. So don't. He was pivot John pivot. He was in the army do something else. We really just his narration
Right, so don't you know now I got the pictures, but I don't have Richard
Last podcast I had Richard, but I didn't have the pictures
Under
Man he got a big storm that just hit.
Why does everyone keep saying that to me? I mean, this is what he's got a big storm that just hit the heck of the odds of that.
I don't know.
It was the gives me a time.
What did John say next?
Your choices.
Number one, to read some chats.
Okay.
B, to say a prayer for the army major.
Next, to get some more beer from the fridge.
Four, to show my banner
and Lastly to ask
Are you a betting man?
To poke a
Dabler oh god alright. I think it's number
One it could be four. I'm just gonna go with one. That's what I thought it was to read chats. What do you think bry?
I'm just gonna go with one. That's what I thought it was to read chats. What do you think bry? I'm gonna say
next
Get some more beer. Okay, yeah, Mary Beth
I'm gonna go with lastly
You know, you said you were ready and you were not lying. You are ready producer Chris. What do you think? I went one
Alright, let's go
If it's show my banner be so pissed
It's okay gives me a time to show my battery
Use my
Cardiff just win somewhere in Minnesota. There is a happy potato
Material like he normally does
Because he can't come up with any original content of his own
He should be back
Any any moment now why why do you think that
Lost power. He's lost all connectivity.
Yeah, so why would he be back any time now?
We'll hang here till Sunday.
This is just too freaking funny.
He sucks.
Let me see.
Ah, that's all for this time come back next time to find out if you are man enough to poke
a dappler.
Sit Eugene sit good dog
All right, well since he didn't say it dabble verse TV is where you want to go subscribe to Cardiff electrics
rumble page He's on rumble now guys. What have we done today? We've done it all
talked about the Jubal show
Victoria's stupid didn't really get to know a lot of the other cats very well. Thank God
Victoria's stupid didn't really get to know a lot of the other cats very well. Thank God. I'll pray citizens citizens brigade
UCB has a lot of rules about what you're allowed to joke about in improv comedy
Tom Myers, we discovered a new channel
route 152 guy on YouTube
It's got a lot of old Tom Meyer stuff So we appreciate that still toe is calling me out for making fun of a guy who's way more successful than I am. Obviously. Stuttering John got a free shirt out of
Ivy supersonic. No one was able to poke a dabler. So you know what that means?
It's time for everyone's favorite part of the show. I'm excited to say a blind Mike Geary will be joining us on this next episode, which
is great because him and I have bonded over morning radio and just being comedy radio
nerds.
And so he's part of Jacktober and we'll be checking this out.
I don't like quiet.
Okay.
He's start clicking your tongue. I don't like quiet. Can you start clicking your tongue?
I do chew on my tongue.
Make a horse gallops.
That was good.
I'm surprised y'all haven't heard me chewing on my tongue.
He can hear it?
Yeah.
Because people will be across the room and go, can you please stop that?
I don't know how you guys haven't heard it to be honest.
Oh. Are you chewing or that? I don't know how you guys haven't heard it, to be honest.
Oh.
Ooh.
Are you chewing or sucking?
I'm chewing.
No, I'm not talking to you.
Oh.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Gotcha.
Are you a good whistler, TJ?
This is the TJ and Rigid Show from Charlotte, North Carolina.
A suggestion from Alex in our Discord.
And looking forward to this.
Another morning show.
No Hole on this one.
Just three guys.
Oh, we'll find out who the Hole is.
Yeah, well, I'm sure there's probably a Hole in there somewhere.
So tune in to the next episode of Who Are These Podcasts.
We'll be checking that out
But you should also be tuning in to tell them Steve Dave, Brian. I'm sure you heard it
I played the clips of you recapping devil con to look on yeah to your friends over there and
It's like it sounds like a fever dream
When they're like, so what do you do, like get autographs?
You're like, no, no, I know all these people, like we're friends.
I'm just hanging out.
So what is going on?
I think it's and I wanted to play some shit from Helga and Lisa.
Someone fucked their channel up, which sucks.
They porn bombed the channel and took down all these videos.
So there was a video earlier this week where Helga was talking about how
her and Lisa are going to come to devil con 3 and Helga's like they need to be more tables with merchandise You should be charging for that. I think that word con so fucks everyone up. That's a joke the devil con is the joke part
Yeah, they think it's an actual like convention. It's not it's just live comedy shows. It's more skank fest than it is like a con
So I think that's why your
co-hosts were getting confused.
Yeah, I think I didn't explain it correctly.
No, you were you were fine. But it was really funny. I don't think have you and I talked
about it since this happened? How you and I think it was blind Mike who pointed out
how you just started losing confidence in it. Yeah. Yeah, I know it's stupid. I don't
know. I just I was in Rochester. Anyway, I just stopped by
It's very funny. Oh
I didn't play this yet, but Cardiff called into Jim and Sam show this past week All right talked about the death of the dabble verse from Hurricane Milton
Sam seemed very concerned about that not the dabble verse
God forbid
So tell him Steve day is my point
God forbid
So tell him Steve Davis my point
It's a great podcast you can listen to every you subscribe to podcast what do you guys have to over there
We're up to all kinds of stuff. I
There's a patreon show we do where I try different hobbies and I built a gingerbread house the other day Which on the surface doesn't seem like it would be exciting, but it was pretty funny
Sorry, is that your new thing now?
Are you going to start building gingerbread houses?
I don't know that you have to tune in to find out if that's the hobby that's really captured
my attention.
I love it.
That's a fun idea.
Trying out new hobbies every week.
Yeah.
Very cool.
All right.
Well, people should check out Tom Steve Day, support them on Patreon.
Brian and the gang do a great job.
We got some, do we have any new reviews, Mary Beth?
I don't think so.
Because the latest one I see is from the sixth.
All right, let's do this.
I'm going to play the internet news and then we'll come back and we'll find out if we've
ever heard that review yet or not.
So be back in a flash.
Internet news with Lucy Titebox.
From Patreon Sleep Near Reports, Meendoug saved the day while Kaya skipped town.
Who could have guessed?
Edwardian Leviosa Opines.
Meendoug is my favorite.
We need him more than Andy.
Drew Peanuts has this to say about Adam Bush's recent appearance.
Adam adds a lot to the show.
He brings up different perspectives and you know he totally enjoys it. I like him. Lynn shares,
Adam really won me over with the Tony Michaels reference during the SJ segment. A true dabbler.
No shame, no gain. Holy fuck! Regular radio is still the worst thing out there. The slurping bit
was legit my least favorite thing on this show in five years. Mike in Calcutera notes, Howard
interviewing Kamala during Cocktober may be the funniest thing he's show in five years. Mike in Calcutera notes, Howard interviewing Kamala during Cocktober
may be the funniest thing he's done in years,
however unintentional that may have been.
From Reddit, Lord Showdye is outraged.
Lady K did like 15 emergency episodes in a row
on John saying boring shit we've heard a hundred times
before and then completely slept through the post hurricane
drunk driving, house doxing, the live stream extravaganza.
Kelp farming replies, because Carl has other topics on his show.
It's not just about John's nightmare life.
And from YouTube, North Jersey Gibroni writes, texting his kids about how he might die is
the ultimate guilt trip.
His final wish would have been to make his family feel guilty about not talking to him
more.
Slip Curve seems spot on.
He stayed not only because he wanted to drink, but because he wants people to worry about him. Rod Harding. He can't
afford to leave. He only has enough money to buy beer.
Thank you.
Flintster comments. Three cases of beer and cold cuts to get by? Is there anything sadder
than this? Unbelievable. Mike62 Soupcan. I'd rather die on the beach than be stuck in John's house.
Gianni Friendly.
The visitors that immediately began cleaning his cave once they arrived as typical Johnny
Boy hope he brought a lot of cold cuts.
Johnny Cranberry quotes SJ.
I've got nowhere to go, says it all.
Labrin Mystic.
I always thought half in the bag is being really drunk.
If you are fully in the bag, you drink yourself to death.
As in the bag is a body bag.
Sean530 makes a hilarious point.
John thinks that if it takes 15 minutes to drive to the beach, that the water is far
away, as if the surge takes roads to get where it's going.
KZMegaG, I can't believe you just left your cats in Florida Carl.
John would have watched them.
James Morota is thinking more about cold cuts.
Millionaire with half a tank of gas. Dread Seamus.
I'd feel bad for the cats, but him driving them anywhere seems worse.
Jim Kissel offers dressing like the Jackie puppet.
First wise decision he's made in a long time.
And kelp farming plays us out with he is the Jackie puppet.
Thank you very much, Lucy Typebox and the entire internet news team for putting together
that report. Marybeth, what do you have on the recent review?
The best LGBTQIA plus show out there. It sounds new to me. I don't think I've heard this
one. Oh, a host with frosted tips does a show with mainly men who wants them pesky women about and
A so-called wife who's clearly a beard
This truly is the gayest show out there. Keep it up boys
All right, that sounds like a five-star. I would imagine it is
Thank you. It's good stuff and he was to to check out Marybeth on her OnlyFans.
Yes.
You've been OnlyFans?
OnlyFans.
You're just funny about the sound, Brian.
Marybeth, Rosie, M-A-R-I-B-E-T-H-R-O-S-I-E.
Show off.
Yeah.
Check that out on OnlyFans.
The link in the description, everybody. We'll hit some
voicemails. I gotta run. I gotta go to the Sabres game tonight. And it's a long drive
from here.
What's up Carl? You de facto Satanist. You are so fucking light. Birdman was beefing
with the Breakfast Club because the Breakfast Club was reporting on the way he would kiss
little Wayne.
Okay.
You know, someone that basically is awoke that anyway, breakfast club with
Angela Ye when they first started was much better. Now it's just coonin and buffoonin.
And if you want to cringe of the week on Fridays, they used to do the Friday song, which would be
Katy Perry's, TGIF and Rebecca Black Friday and envy and Charlie Maine would call themselves
no direction and sing the songs. Holy fucking
Cringe some confuses the good show is a bad show. I can't tell now
Tom Myers brother calls in
Hi, Carl. This is Oscar
Tom Myers brother Oscar Myers
this past weekend
President Trump returned to Butler, Pennsylvania
the site of where he was nearly assassinated two months prior. I
Don't know about you
But that would be like JFK asking the Secret Service to do a u-turn to go back past the book depository
All right, good stuff top buyers brother keep working on it I like like it. They're definitely related. This is a great voicemail
Hey Carl, I know that the Detroit show is coming up
Fuck
And he never called back
That's all we got from that
Gary and San Diego has some hot gas for us
Hey Carl and crew.
I heard a hot rumor.
Vegas beer sales Jerry has issued to John
a drop bid date to pay back the loan he made
on the Mercedes.
That drop bid date is the 20th of October. If it's not paid by the 20th,
he's already preliminarily contacted Rapid Auto Recovery in Florida to repossess the car,
repossess the Mercedes. Is that true? So Vegas Beer Sales Jerry's is serious Wow, and he's giving John a drop dead date
And he's already contacted a repossession company
He's lined up his ducks
In the meantime John is doing nothing except getting drunk
He's good at it
Anyway, that's the hot rumor. Okay
Rock and roll the rock and roll the rock and roll it to you Gary. Thank you for the hot rumor. Okay. Rock and roll.
Rock and roll.
Rock and roll to you, Gary.
Thank you for the hot gas.
We appreciate it.
Gary sounds like he's in a different condition every time he calls.
I hope he's all right.
Comatose.
He used to be more charismatic.
Yeah, I'm worried.
Yeah, get a little pep in your step again, Gary.
We miss it hey Carl can you get the mp3
of Nate from Flint's book and put it on your patreon so I can download it just
like I did John's book thanks so much don't call me back no problem that's what
we do that's why you should sign up patreon.com unless you're these podcasts
all the audio fuck audible all of the audiobooks you could ever want. All right there. All read by Carl. This is the last
time I'm going to hear you talk about stuttering John and tell him to come down to Miami. That
faggot is not invited down to Miami. As a Puerto Rican hybrid, I do not invite him down here.
We disavow him. We do not like him. Every Hispanic nation met. We all got together and we said, fuck this guy.
He's not one of us.
He's not allowed.
Keep him wherever the fuck he is.
Keep him in court gables.
We'll all you guys and all your little queer shit that you guys got going on in the Bay.
We're good down here in Miami.
Too many queers already.
Got too many.
Don't need one more.
Keep them away
Stop recommending Miami the Puerto Ricans are good. We're full. We don't want them. Don't call me back. Okay, fair enough I didn't realize Miami was felt so strong about John visiting their city
So silent shapes as bright any word on mall rats to and you gave a I gave a shrug. Yeah, no, I've not heard
I don't have the latest on it. No, okay
Whatever happened to the professional skateboarders in that movie. What's his name? Oh Jason Lee Jason Lee
He had a lot of shit going on for a while there. He had the sitcoms and all these movies
It kind of just disappeared. Yeah. Yeah, I think he's leading a more quiet life in Austin at this point
He was a hell of a skateboard. He's a skateboarder for blind.
I was a big fan of his.
And then I started acting.
I was like, shouldn't you be doing a tray flip
over a gap right now?
What are you doing?
Yeah, he's a great guy.
He's a really nice guy.
I believe it.
Monday's calling him.
Is that the Scientologist?
Oh, is he Scientologist?
I think he was at one point.
Yeah, I don't think he's in it anymore.
You think he got out? I think he's out. Yeah. I wonder he shunned.
Hey, it's Mondays. So I was just listening to the new episode and I decided to scroll through Twitter, you know, cause I'm bored.
And I see our good pal Chad Zumock is putting on a new livestream soon.
It's called who was producer Chris. Yeah.
I think Chad's gotten to the point where he's so desperate for attention he's copying old
shit John has done by calling out producer Chris right you know the most
important character in the Dabbleverse because no one giving no gives a shit
about Chad during the hurricane everyone's looking at John see if he's
dead or not right I'm actually starting to feel bad for charity. That's looking pathetic dude. Holy shit
Really is a hell Mary pass isn't it yeah to find your Facebook page and actually he's exposing you my team
Here's a photo of him with his daughter. Whoa
Wow, that's crazy
You imagine?
One more voicemail.
I like this idea.
I want to floor to tell you guys, see what you think.
Carl, it's the Calvis Artifer.
If you're going to offer to let me take comedy lessons from the king of comedy himself,
Joe Medariz, and I can add that to my acting resume. I would be so grateful to you.
I might even suck your dick.
No, I wouldn't.
Oh, maybe.
Unnecessary, Kyle photographer, don't need that.
But I like this idea.
We talked about how Joe Matariz teaches comedy school.
It might be worth us investing in it to see what it's like.
Kyle photographer could be our reporter on this, our correspondent on Joe Manarese's.
You're sending him undercover?
Yeah, send him an undercover.
Oh, nice.
And then let him come back and report back to us when he's learned about comedy from
Joe Manarese. I think it's a good investment on our part. What do you think?
I think so.
I'm wondering how can we synergize this with Joey being in town in a couple months?
That's true. Yes. Okay, good thought
Cowford I've already just won the contest that didn't exist until you suggested it you're on
Congratulations. Fantastic. I love it. All right, we got to get out of here Brian again. Thank you so much
I'm glad you got your power back
Very exciting Marybeth always great to see you. Yes, always a treat
So quiet