Who Are These Podcasts? - Ep645 - Howard Stern, Stuttering John, Opie Radio

Episode Date: August 7, 2025

Erik Nagel joins the show to discuss the recent “news” about Howard’s employment at SiriusXM. We also check out a little of the impromptu episode Howard did this week featuring Lars Ulrich, Richard Christy, and a fake phone caller.  Adam, Chris, and I are then joined by comedian Jessica Michelle Singleton, the comedian who was the first guest on Stephanie Miller’s happy hour show that Stuttering John ever booked. We learn about Jessica’s “relationship” with John Melendez and her experience doing a week of shows with him in Vegas. Then she sits in as we break down John’s third episode on Stephanie Miller’s show. Opie is talking about his jealousy of Howard Stern and also the rewards he received for saving a drowning girl’s life. We finish up with some reviews and voicemails. Additional segments that were recorded during this episode will be released this weekend. Get more Jessica - https://jmscomedy.com/ Tickets on sale for WATP with Anthony Cumia at The Villa Roma Resort in Callicoon, New York on September 5th – ⁠http://watplive.com/ ⁠ Support us, get bonus episodes, and watch live every Saturday and Wednesday: ⁠http://bit.ly/watp-patreon⁠ ⁠https://watp.supercast.tech/⁠ Annie’s website – https://www.insanneity.com/ Watch this episode here – https://youtube.com/live/ntHxwjyBEnc  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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See The Roses, only in theaters, August 29th. I'm Chris Hadfield, astronaut and citizen of planet Earth. Join me on a journey into the systems that power the world. No politics, just real conversations with real people shaping the future of energy. Listen wherever you get your podcasts. I told them, in the strongest of words, to just do it. You see, this is a we just do it kind of show. And you know him and love him.

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Is it going to be absolutely riveting? Is it going to change your life by any stretch? Probably not. But it's going to be at least entertaining, okay? By the way, for those people that are in the back, remember to shut the fuck up. Cahs. Coz-a-roo. Kuzaro

Slapparoonie It's showtime Welcome to Another episode The only show that's putting a moratorium on calling the host club Footed I'm your thin-skinned host, Carl And with me every Wednesday

a man who is affectionately known as WATPs, Adam Bush, I think. It's Adam Bush. It's the nicest thing they can think of. I'm so happy to be here. Producer Chris is here as well. Hello. Please go to Who Are These.com. So you get our email address, voice bell number, link to our suburb, link to our Discord server, link to our merchandise, link to our YouTube channel, and that link to Patreon and Supercast, featuring two exclusive bonus episodes.

Every single month, you can watch the shows live when they air on Wednesdays and Saturdays or any time thereafter. Completely unadded in. You get the links. You can go on there and check that out. We will be live at the Villa Roma Resort in the Catskills in New York State at Chrissy Mayer's Content Hotel. We'll be in a theater on September 5th at 7.30 p.m. You can watch WATP live, and it is quite the lineup. I am talking about Adam Bush.

Wow. I am talking about Missy B. I'm talking about Jenny Jingles. Jesus Christ. Lucy Tightbox. My God. Did I mention Anthony Coomya? What?

Go back to Lucy. Anthony. It's going to be a great lot of Chris. He's going to be there too and a whole bunch of other content creators hanging out for the entire weekend. If you want to spend the weekend with us, there's a bunch of other comedy shows. I'm going to be down there to see Dave Landau Thursday night. And then there's other podcasts and shows going on. So check that out.

WTP Live.com is where you want to go to get your tickets for that. We're just one month away. Also, we encourage. encourage our listeners. Give us five stars on Apple Podcasts and then shit all over us in the comment section. Today, we'll be talking about stuttering John on Stephanie Miller, continuing to make it all about sex, even when the guests hate it. Dick and Vito had a huge blowout on the biggest problem in the universe. Adam Bush hung out on the Simcast and also chatted Karmic X. Kevin Brennan versus Ashley Cummings. Opie weighs in on Howard Stern News

and gets rewarded for saving his neighbor's daughter's life. Aaron Imhol ran his mouth again, and I'm bringing receipts to prove that he's full of shit. Also another round of Is It Gay with Review Girl, Megan, but first. Big Howard Stern News, and he was actually live this morning on his show. And I want to bring in a radio expert to discuss this with us. That's right, the great Eric Nagel, E. Rock, former producer of the Opian Anthony show is here. What's up, E. Rock. Hello, guys. How are you?

Hey, you know him from It's Eric Nagel. And he's the one who sent this to me yesterday, so I wanted to talk about this big news article. Everyone's discussing Howard Stern's stint at Series XM reportedly nearing an end. After nearly two decades as the marquee talent at Series XM, Howard Stern may be signing off for good. Sources told the U.S. son that the groundbreaking broadcaster is not expected to return when his current five-year contract expires this fall. While Sirius reportedly plans to make an offer, insiders say the company has no real expectation the Stern will accept. Except Sirius and Stern are never going to meet on the money he's going to want. One source told the son, adding that it's no longer worth the investment to keep paying the reported $100 million per year salary.

Well, that, no shit. It doesn't even have a million listeners anymore. How do you make $100 million? It's crazy. Sirius X-Eman was likely to negotiate a deal to retain Stern's extensive audio library, but the daily show appears to be winding down. There's no way they can keep paying his salary. I don't even know why you keep the audio archives.

You're not even allowed to play anything that has anyone interesting on it. Well, that could change. That would be interesting. If they came back and they're like, we're going to play the shows that Howard didn't want us to play. I'm like, I listen to that. Unless it's, I was thinking about that because there's always been talk for many years that when he's ready to go, like 100 would just dissolve and 100 would become like the 24-hour Howard Archive channel. Yeah. unless there's specific language in that agreement of things he can't play,

if he licenses the library to them, they could just play whatever they want. They can go through everything and put on essentially anything they want to that they have access to. What's in it for Howard? Money. Yeah, he's got all the money in the fucking world. Yeah, it's still money.

That doesn't matter. Really? His reputation means more to him than money. That's why he's tanked his fucking show. No, once he's gone, it's still money. It's like, all right, well, I'm still going to be. a part of this thing. You're going to pay me $20 million to hold on to my archive so you can play that. And then probably has the rights to come back and do specials every now and then,

or maybe get one of those Letterman deals like with Netflix. You can come back and do little interview things, talk to whoever you want. I thought he would do that the last time his contract was over 71 years old at this point. But I disagree with you on that. I don't think $20 million is going to be worth it for him using the N-word and stuff on the air. Like all the shit that he pretends never happened. Well, that's already edited out. Well, they went, they probably went through, I mean, I used to pop into that tapes team. It was on a separate floor.

I knew a couple of those guys. And from what they were allowed to tell me or at least show me or whatever, a lot of that stuff got edited out. So there might be an archive that has all the full and censored stuff, but it's not at Sirius. It's, that stuff is not there to even accidentally get paid. Oh, interesting. Okay.

Yeah. Sirius didn't buy the original tapes. They bought the edit. Of them? No, they bought the rights or whatever it was with Howard and Buckwold and Sirius to get the rights to the K-Rock years. He already owned the NBC years and all of that. Once they got the rights to it, then it was at Howard's, you know,

disposal to do whatever he wants with it. He had the final say on what was going to be done with all the archive. Okay. Interesting. Beyond financial considerations, the Sun reports the Stern's outspoken political views, especially his criticism of Donald Trump and high-profile interviews with figures like Vice President Kamala Harris may also be a factor.

If Serious isn't going to give Stern a good offer, I don't think it would have anything to do with his ratings. The Inserrorist, it's more likely everything to do is political climate. Now, this is interesting because now they're trying to make like the Colbert comparison. And, you know, Colbert wasn't fired. It's the same thing.

There's not renewing his contract. They're still allowing him to be on the air for seven months. And so that's a weird thing where they act like, Oh, he was fired because of Trump. But I do think that Howard going on and saying, if you like Trump, don't listen to my show, was probably a bad move. Very bad move. Probably stupid. Any time where you can have your political ideals, but if you're in the entertainment business,

anytime you say, I don't care about half the population of whatever country you're in because they don't think of like me as far as religious beliefs, social moral issues, politics. You've automatically lost. Like entertainment is not supposed to care about what you believe in, how you act, all that stuff. It's how do I appeal to everybody and take your money? That's the entire motive for the entertainment business. And then it changed in the last 20 years where now it's we, why aren't you giving us all your money, but we're still going to dictate how you should act and how you should live your life. And you can have a political view.

I mean, Howard's always had strong opinions. It's what makes them Howard. That's an important thing to have your talk show host. You should. But in the 90s, he used to have this old, I think he's dead now, but it was an old senator from New York, Alfonso D'Amato, used to be on his show all the time in the 90s. You could tell Howard was kind of walking a weird line between being liberal and libertarian kind of mindset with him. But he would talk to conservative people. He would talk to everybody.

He didn't bring politics into play unless the guest was a political figure and talked to them about their politics and what they do with Hollywood or state or whatever. he was able to walk that line like anybody could come in and he would talk to them then all of a sudden it just because if he doesn't do it now he won't get the celebrities he won't get the hollywood acts that's the only thing that means anything to uh to him and something to think about too because we got to get more into that article the money that howard makes i don't know if he's worth that anymore he's not but he still would command a good amount because he brings these celebrities into to the building that normally would not come to Sirius XM. So they piggyback off of that where Bruce Springsteen will come in to talk to him. A president, a sitting president will come in. And then they're able to like, all right, well, we have an hour after Howard. We could start putting him on some other shows or putting them somewhere else in the building to do something.

They wouldn't come in if they didn't come in because of Howard. So that alone is still valuable to that company. Interesting. Yeah, I understand that. I mean, when I'm this morning, I have a couple of clips where he was talking to, to Lars, because they announced that Metallica is going to have their own channel on SiriusXM. Well, they did. They always had these little mini channels that lasted maybe six months.

And Metallica, it was called the old hack, mandatory Metallica at the time. Now it's, I forgot what it is, what it's now, but it's something Metallica, like maximum Metallica, I think is what it's called now. But now it's a full-time thing. They're going to be fully involved. They're going to broadcast concerts live. they're going to do all of this stuff. They just have money to throw at everybody.

Not for a log, I don't think. But I think that not resigning Howard will definitely free them up to do everything. By the way, Howard did not address this as all when he came on this morning. This was not talked about. So it was a troll. He just came on to talk to Lars about this new channel. And then him and Richard Christie talked about Ozzy. So that was, it was a short episode this morning.

But the other thing I want to talk about with this negotiation and what's going on here is the other huge factor is Don Buckwalt's passed away since the last contract negotiation five years ago. And I had a conversation with Jim Florentine off air where he goes, yeah, because he was an insider. You know, he dated Robin for a long time. He has insider information about how the Howard Stern show works and I would imagine negotiating deals and stuff.

And he was convinced there's no way Howard should get the deal that he wants without Don because Don was a fierce negotiator. And he's still got a team over there and he's still. is represented by that team, but I think it's different with Don out of the picture. Well, we'll see because this has been the first. Look, Howard's had a history of every time the contract year came up that I don't know if I want to stay,

that he would always purposely put it out there that he doesn't know if he wants to continue. He may want to leave and do other things, whatever. This has been the first time, and it's, again, it still could be all, everything's wrestling now. So this still could be a complete work. But this was the first time from the beginning of this year, Howard started saying the reverse. He's like, they're not even talking to me.

I haven't really talked to them yet. We've reached out. They haven't said anything to them. A lot of it came last fall when they made the announcement for Alex Cooper. They bought Alex Cooper's podcast and her podcast network, $120 million for all of that. So that she has her talk channel, she has a music channel. they have the rights to the podcast to do advertising. I think they put it out like a week or a day or something before it goes out to the public series has the access to it.

When she launched in middle of January, she was on television everywhere. She was on all their new advertising and billboards and all of that stuff. They, and I think he might be right on this. He felt like he thinks they're trying to make her the face of the company now. It's not about Howard anymore. going to be about Alex Cooper and this new younger generation of podcasters specifically. Yeah, because they also have smartless, which they spent $100 million on. They spent $150 a couple of years ago, $150 million on Conan O'Brien and his network, which, by the way, was one of the dumbest deals

they made. I love Conan, but they spent $150 million to get Conan's podcast, Conan's podcast network, and the archives to all of that stuff, plus run his stuff on the radio. They did not, negotiate anything for his video archives. So after the serious deal, Conan sold the same catalog, but the video version, to Samsung so that you get Samsung exclusive video access through the phones, their technology, they have a streaming Samsung channel somewhere. So you get that like a day or something before it goes out on YouTube and whatever. So he sold the same catalog twice. And Sirius did not think to get the video rights to use for social media to use for promotions commercials all of that stuff since then every deal that they

made has been a hundred million dollars but they got video access rights to promotions and everything well i am team co learning so i'm glad that uh he was able to pull that off yeah i want to play some clips from uh this morning show that howard did i thought someone in the chat say that the laura's interview is pre-recorded that's probably true but uh so thank you to christian blatt for pulling these clips for us, he thought the only interesting part about this was the fake caller that called him. One thing you could count on from the Howard Stern show in these times are fake callers and scripted bullshit. Tom from Texas, go ahead, Tom. My king, oh my king. I just wanted to catch, thank you. I wanted to catch Lars to tell him I caught James

headfield's pick at Woodstock 99. I threw my hand like a frisbee, and he was about 40 feet away. It hit my hand, hit my hand again, fell on the ground, and the bouncer remembered me being at the front the whole

time pulling girls out because they'd be passed out and couldn't fall down. But I just wanted to say that to Lars, and maybe he's still listening. He's not. And who the fuck? Why are you putting this call through?

This guy caught a guitar pick in 1999, and he wants to tell Lars about it? You can tell it's fake. One, obviously the content, too. Yeah. How clear that phone line sounds compared to all it. You can tell when a caller is on a cell phone somewhere. That on a hard line could be in the back office,

could be down the hall, could be somewhere else. Am I being too loud? He sounded suspiciously like Ron the waiter. He did, actually. He's trying to get in everywhere. He's probably listening. He's probably listening. I caught his pick. And people are

You know, I always saying to me, how much is that pick worth? And I'm like, I'll never sell it. Not even to them. How much is that pick worth? 60 cents. 60 fucking cents. You know, Richard, that move

where guitar players are on stage and they flick their pick into the audience, like, if I was good enough to be like a rock star, I would do that move. That seems pretty cool, like, winging those picks. your picks. Dude, look at this, Richard. I got a pick I made up.

Well, I didn't make it up. Dunlop did. This is my favorite pick. It says, H.S. with the logo and Howard Stern. Oh, beautiful. I want one, Howard. I don't want one.

It's going to end up in storage. I know it is. You're absolutely right. Could you imagine being a guy? Oh, my king, my king. I want one, Howard. This person doesn't exist anymore. It's not a thing.

When he said Tom from Texas, I thought it was going to be Eric, the actor in a funny voice. Yeah, right. Ah, this is not Eric. Tom from Texas. He just made up that alliteration. Yeah.

But I think that this also has to do with stroking Howard's ego. I'm sure the writers know that, like, we got to, like, make it seem like he still has that same clout and fan base than he used to. And talk about being a guitarist. Yeah. I want your guitar pick. Howard. It's funny you ask that. I actually have my own guitar pick.

Why? You suck. It cares. So this is another clip that the Christian. pulled for us. Seriously, Howard, I want one of your picks. I collect them from every concert I've been to. Well, I'm not a real good guitar player,

but what I'm doing is... You're a guitar player. No, actually this summer, this summer I've been practicing, not guitar, but practicing winging my picks. Which is what I'm going to be coming in. I'll take it. I'll stay on hold. I want one. You know, this is just like a...

I got to go, Tom. Thanks. It wasn't the point. All right. He's such an out-of-it, old man, talking to Richard Christie, who is one of the greatest metal drummers ever exist. He's like, you know, Richard, if I did play guitar to bad, I'd probably throw my picks out at the crowd, like, oh, yeah, good stuff. Jesus Christ, so stupid. All right, we are going to talk about Opie's response to this news later on in the program, so stick around for that. But, Eric, I want to thank you for hopping on. Adam, did you have a follow up?

I did. Before you go, Eric, am I wrong in thinking that that article that came out is, it's speculative. They're, none of it is. Yeah. They're trying things out in the media. They're starting the Howard's leaving campaign. They're dropping in all the different possibilities, even the political thing, and just seeing how people run with it, what they do so they can figure out how to best end this thing on a high note. When that article came out, the link I gave to Carl was an actual radio industry link. You know, that's kind of valuable to people in television radio.com. Not just anyone can get a link like this. You got to know people.

They're all paraphrasing this article that originally came from The Sun, which is a British tabloid that gets sued all the time for celebrity crossing the lines for stalking celebrities, listening to celebrity phone calls, all of that shit. Everyone took this as gospel, right?

Now, if this was seriously going to happen, And it would have been something a bit more credible in this country. It would have been like the Washington Post, the New York Times, something like that would have had the inkling saying, look, this is what we're hearing that would have legally had some kind of credibility to it. That one article got repurposed by everybody else and says, now all the headlines are saying Stern Show canceled after almost 20 years. It's like that article didn't say he was canceled. They were saying they were hearing that it looks like they're not going to renegotiate that $100 million. that he was being paid,

which I thought it was 80, by the way. What it says is they're going to make him an offer, and they don't think Howard's going to accept it because they're going to lowball him, which is what happened to Jim Norton. That's why Jim's no longer with... Which is also what I've heard clips of what Howard has said that throughout the last six, seven months.

And it all makes sense. Why would you throw $100 million a year at this guy who has no audience? He's 71 years old. He's a curmudget. He's miserable. He sucks. His show is garbage now.

I mean, the reason why the story is catching eyes. Everyone's like, yeah, that makes sense. Of course, they wouldn't renew them. Well, if you read a lot of the comments. comments too online it's all these people that are now digging up something like that dana plato story is getting a lot of run uh as of today about her being on his show and she killed herself the next day after being humiliate so that's starting it up again where howard's a terrible person we got to cancel howard somebody's got a terrible broadcaster can we all

agree on that now yes then not so much but i i see what you're saying this is all speculation it's here say it's not even anything different than what howard's been saying the last several months about he doesn't think it's going to be if he does hang on with the same deal because he has, as Howard's been saying, he hasn't heard from them. They're not getting back to him on this stuff. His archives would still be valuable.

Him in some capacity would still be valuable even though we're not listening to him regularly anymore unless something really pops up that's worth our attention. You also got to remember at the beginning of the year, Sirius had to do a meeting with shareholders,

it was public, you could dial in and listen to It's never brought up. Well, yeah, he wasn't brought up, too. They said they have no projections of making any profits this year, that it's going to be down, that they are stopping their focus on their video app and promotions and pushing for the video. They're only going to focus on their core audience, which is the car subscribers. And that is so limited for a company, too, because they also had to reveal that they had no one under 35 subscribers. driving to Sirius.

And there's a lot of major car manufacturers who are no longer putting the satellite antenna in the cars. No. No. Because no one's asking for it. It's like the CD player. It's like, is there still a 6-6 changer in the truck? Like, what's the last thing you want a car, sir? Okay.

They used to have deals where if you bought the car, they gave you a year free because you would get addicted to it and then you would just wind up paying for. Now it's one to three months if it's in the car. Some car dealerships have the radio there, but it's not even activated. You have to go and pay for it yourself, but you don't need it because now all the dashboards is, it recognizes your phone or you have the apps in your car to do Spotify

and podcast apps and whatever. I remember, so I have Sirius. I have a subscription that I use on my phone because it's a write off. But I tried to get it in my new car that I bought and I reached out to Sirius to be like, hey, so I already have a subscription. Can I just get this connected to my car? And they're like, oh, that's a separate thing. I'm like, oh, you guys don't understand how this works at all of that. I already pay you a monthly fee for this service. You can't just connect it to my car. I have to pay an additional mother. Like, go fuck yourself. I'll just use my phone then, which I don't. I don't ever listen to serious. It sucks. Yeah. If you even still have the radios, the physical radios in the boom

boxes that they all use to have that if you had four radios in your house, you had to pay four subscriptions for those things. The real question is, when will the back office guys who love WATP start showing up on this show? What are we? The second, it is confirmed that their last show has happened. Then you'll hear they'll show up on Uncle Rico. They'll show up on you and tell everything about John. You don't understand the last two years of what John's been sending to us that we couldn't even talk. You'll hear all of that stuff.

That's going to open a whole new thing. That's going to be so great. I am so rooting for the end of the Howard Stern show. It would be fantastic. And J.D., if you're listening, you have a home here. You have a home with us. I wasn't inviting J.D. I was.

I might even met. Anyway, what were we going to say, Eric? So I know you're going to move on. Thank you for having me on there. Again, that was a Sun article, a tabloid. Take it with a grain of salt. A lot of it was based on stuff Howard has said on the air for the last several months. I don't think he'll get that deal that he had. I think they'll come up with some kind of agreement. If he does continue, if he goes and does something else, that's fine. They will have his archives. They'll keep that audience because they only care about the car subscribers. There's no young people subscribed or listening.

despite the fact they have Alex Cooper, TikTok radio, all of this other shit that they're paying for for millennials, Gen Z, whatever. They're not listening to that stuff. Sell your stock. Sell your stock. Exactly.

And I heard your bonus show. So if you're going to talk about the Opie Giff thing, I had two notes, but I'll go and listen then about that because I don't want to do the reveal. I don't want to spoil it because it's very funny. I'll text them to you. You can read it after.

Please do. It's Eric Nagel on Iheart Radio, anywhere you get your podcasts and subscribe to our YouTube channel. You get all the videos, clips, all of that stuff. Thank you very much. Adam was great finally meeting you

and are you still working on that project? Are you done that you and I were talking? Oh, I just finished. I just finished. Okay, good. I can't wait to see it. All right. Take care, guys.

Thank you for doing it. Bye, Iraq. Great to see you, man. Thanks for wrapping on. The great Eric Nagel, everybody. The sex bagel, Eric Nagel. We do have to talk about

Stuttering John's time on the Stephanie Miller show. We've been going through. We got all of the archives of the Happy Hour show that Stephanie Miller was doing and she decided to hire John to not only book the show, but also run the board. Can I get a little sympathy

because I got a bloody ass? I'm bleeding generously because I got a bloody ass. because I got a bloody ass All right, we have a very special guest And if you remember just, what, a couple of weeks ago We were playing John's very first show That he was doing

Where he was the board op and booker For Stephanie Miller's happy hour show The show where they bring in They try to be less political Let their hair down a little bit Just having fun Just kicking back For a bunch

Have some drinks, have some cocktails And then get into divorce. talk. Yeah. And suicide. It's so wild. But, uh, Adam, do you want to introduce our guests? You've seen her on Eliza's locals on Hulu. You might not know this, but she was the first English-speaking woman to perform at the Montreau Comedy Jazz Festival. She's toured with Mark Norman, Theo Vaugh. She is a writer, an actual writer for the roast of Whitney Cummings. She's appeared on Burtcast, but most importantly, I think we all know and love her as our favorite guest from the Stephanie Miller Happy Hour podcast. Ladies and gentlemen, Jessica Michelle Singleton.

Hi, guys. Can you hear me? This is a whole... I'm so insecure about my lack of accessories in the background. Looking at you guys, this is crazy. We're very busy. It's great to be here. You don't have a ton of fan art that people said to you that you get printed and put up? What the fuck?

Every fan art I've ever received is the most offensive drawing I've ever. I'm like, oh, good, good. That's what I look like. Same here. Jessica, thank you so much for joining us on the program. We broke down... I don't know if you remember being on the Stephanie Miller's It was 10 years ago.

It was, I was going to say, it was a long time ago that I was on. November 20th, 2015. Good old John. Yeah, that was my introduction to Stephanie Miller was. So how did you, how did you get that booking? How did you, how did it come up? You know, the improv, the chain of comedy clubs, the improv. They used to have a club in Vegas.

And my first kind of regular road gig was hosting at the Vegas improv. I would take a like $15 round-trip bus out to Vegas and be there for a week playing at a club that was basically in a conference room in the back of Harris. And that's how I met stuttering John. How did you meet him? He was headlining. He was a headliner. He was a headliner. And I am woefully unaware of so many people.

So I didn't know this guy at all. And we did a week together at the at the improv and, uh, what was that week like, I have some friends. Let's, it was long. It was a long, they're always long. But, uh, but him particularly, what's he like to work with? How does he approach you and ask you? He headlines, you're the opener and he's like, hey, you want to do a week.

Like, well, how does it come up? What happens? Host. Well, no, he, he didn't ask me at all. The club did. And he was. It was very like, oh, you know, you're a new baby comedian, you know, I'll show you a thing or two. Let me teach you about the world of comedy.

And he had some friends come out to the show that had a restaurant, like one of the Friday or Saturday nights, whatever, the weekend. And he's like, want to come out with me and my friends. And me being a young comedian who's like, got to hang out the headliners and be cool. I'll go to your friend's restaurant We went out We had some drinks And God You know

I don't 100% remember The exact situation He He tried to make a move Jessica This is a perfect segue I have the clip Let me remind you

What John said I'm the Stephanie Miller show When he did the week with you in Vegas and he kept being like I can't I'm just kidding unless you're like you're in no no no he's never

listen to me he's never fucking kidding no step the actual line I said there was like look we both know that you want to be with me well that is what you said

obviously like I'm a good looking guy I'm a godness that confidence I would kill for that kind of confidence why do guys have that why do guys so it's all coming back aggressively quickly

I have a couple more clips that I want to play for you to remind you what's going on here but basically what we watched was John was trying to fuck you in Vegas didn't work out but he didn't give up so he thought

you know what there's something to be said about tenacity it's got to be stuck sure yeah yeah yeah sometimes it works but he was trying to fuck you in Vegas didn't work out

but they just like well now I got this new cool job with Stephanie Miller. I'll bring her on and impress her there. And he hits on you nonstop in this episode. We broke it down. I'll send you the link. But he hits on you nonstop.

And you do such a brilliant job of deflecting and shutting it down every time that we were applauding you. You were the star of the show. Thank you so much. You know, it's a weird line you walk as a woman in comedy, probably in any male dominated industry where you're like, well, I'm happy to be here. But also, it's still never going to happen. but I would like to build this bridge with this lady who seems cool.

It's, yeah, I found that you can't say nothing because, well, we, look what happens when you even say something. But, yeah, I don't know. We all saw what was going on, though. We saw he put you in a very uncomfortable situation over and over again. Yeah. This is his first day on the job. This is this first day on the job.

See, I don't think I knew that. I thought it was his last day. I thought it was like to go out swinging. I mean, the first day, that's crazy to just be like, yeah, let me bring in this young lady. And I was like, everyone in the room is like, what's going on here, dude? The other thing that I was picking up on and maybe you have better insight into this is that you come on as a comedian and I assume that you're going to go on there and like roll with things and tell jokes and maybe have some anecdotes on the road and stuff like that. And all John wants to talk about is sucks. And you're like, yeah, I don't know, man.

Did I kiss a girl once? I think so. What are we doing? What's going on? Yeah, I was like, is this? What a wild difference from what I thought this show would be. But, you know, and this is, maybe it's wrong for me to victim blame. A thing I run into as a comedian.

And it happens less probably because I'm getting older. So men are like, put her out to pasture. But also I write less about sex when I first start. I had a lot of dirty material and a thing that happens with fans with random men on the internet they think well she talks about sex interact so obviously she wants to talk about sex with me

and you're like I no I like people hear a woman talks about sex and they're like her pussy's a clown car let's get in there and do you've been anything else I have some more clips that I want to play for I do I'm curious what was the vibe like from Stephanie like did you get the impression that

step like to walk into somebody who invites you to a gig and you get all of a sudden you realize the host doesn't seem to like them the other co-hosts don't seem to like them i'm ragging on him like was that unexpected or is that what it's like spending time around john all the time you know now realizing or maybe i did know and i i forgot that it was his first show i was kind of unfamiliar with that show from stephanie miller so i was like is this like the like the reverse of that classic shock jock radio where there'd always be the there was always like the one dumb hot girl and i'm like are they trying to do the reverse where there's just like this ding-dong guy in the corner that everyone picks on is it like a

shtick so i was just trying to roll with it but i i was like she seems so annoyed she's like what is this guy doing and i was like she i think she literally said i should have done a better job before I hired this guy of... Yeah, well, anytime I came back on later on the Stephanie Miller show, and he was not the producer. Oh, that's funny. They invited you back without John. Yeah.

I remember he asked about, you revealed that you had a boyfriend in comedy, and he got very bitter. Everything kind of turned and got dark. And then he started making fun of this person you were dating for some reason. It felt personal. I was wondering what it was like when you left there. Do you have any memory? of what the vibe was like?

No, other than, like, the only thing I can think and thinking back to when it was, I know who I was dating then, who was a very nice, very now successful comedic actor. I think it was probably, you know, I wouldn't be surprised if in my initial interaction with him in Vegas, and this is speculation. I don't remember. That's all we do is speculate here. It's fine. I love that.

Let's just make things up. Like, I may have in an attempt to be polite in my kind of blow off of him, been like, you know, I don't really do the comedian thing, you know, because that's a move I have pulled. You didn't do that when you said you were dating a comedian. No, yeah. Well, I think that's what I was saying is like I think maybe initially when I interact with, not on the show, but like in Vegas, I might have been.

Yeah, so John was pissed off. He was like, oh, you do date comedian. Oh, that's the only thing I can think or that like, yeah, that why another comedian or who is he is, he is he as successful as I am and that was, yeah, that was. He knows that he is. Yeah. No, that was his insult. He goes, I never, I never heard of him is what he said. And Stephanie said, good one. Oh, good one. Like she knew what he was doing. It was very obvious to everyone but him. Well, this is more of John talking about how nice he was to you when you guys were hanging out in Vegas together. Wow. No, I was so nice to you. I bought you drinks. I got your free drinks all night. You did not. He gets free drinks from the bartender there.

That's right. What do you guys think? Like, oh, wow. I just have the five bucks. Ooh, a butt light. Five dollars. I'm going to spread my legs. I'm already wet.

So this is the ridiculous thing that John goes. I was so nice to you. I bought you drinks all night. You're trying to get a drunk. Yeah. You were trying to get me to forget that I had any sense of morals or. Dignity. a taste or yeah but also like the fact that they were free drinks is like you didn't even

right you didn't even spend a dollar on those and not that there's absolutely not a dollar amount that a woman owes you anything no if there's any just to all the men listening you can't buy a pbr and expect a blow job like let it go but but he did use the word bought I bought you drinks all night that's his move I think I paid the tip I bet you did yeah very cash I don't have any cash You got any cash I forgot my wallet I'll get you

We get back to the room Come up to my room I'll pay you back That's the movie Right there We both know you want me Well this is This was like some of the awkward stuff

That we are watching Because anytime you would talk about Anything sexual And I guess at this time You were doing this thing We were taking photos With your pants off And historical places

I thought it was Funny And now I'm like Yeah yeah We're not judging Trust me but so you're talking about how you're like well I don't have like this banging body that's why I think it's kind of comical and funny that I do this thing and John just can't help himself like it's not funny because you have a nice body it's funny when I do it's I don't have a great body my butt is really but you know what I'm sure you're gonna have to show us look I'm look I would hit that well oh good I you would hit anything wow what a fucking creep too he gave you that look like by the way if you wanted it I'd give it to you just like Like, yeah, I know.

Yeah. You've made that. Where do you want to find? We have established that. Jesus. Right. It's just also like, what a compliment. Oh, you would have sex with me.

Thank you. I can sleep at night. Coco, the gorilla. He does that at the end of the episode, too. He gives you a nod where he says, you know, you're pretty funny. Like he's Johnny giving you the seat next to him. And you're just kind of like, okay, thank you. Yeah, that's the worst.

It's just like, I know I'm funny. That's, it's not going to work on you? You know, at least he's stayed consistent. I mean, yeah, the big compliment from the guy in the corner that everyone's been annihilating the entire episode. Right. Yes, they did rag out the whole time. So if there is a smelly husband who's trying to get with you, is there a certain technique they should use in case John's watching? You said Bud Lights.

What else? I want to be. We need to go harder. We need Jack Daniels. Yeah. We're going to have to go. Pay for the drink. Fireball?

You know what? Get a two by four. Knock me out. And I know in this climate, a lot of people are going to be against this. But just cold clock me and then maybe I'll be into it. I don't know. Be funny. Don't be a pig.

I would have to be funny, but I like your canter on that. Yeah. Knock her out. So she doesn't remember it. Just kill me. I don't assume you guys are still. friends you still keep in touch you and john and you know we're not not i haven't heard from in a while i don't have any actual animosity toward him i like things like that there've been so if i had a dollar

for every time the amount of opportunities i've gotten from me going hey man don't don't do that that's a little weird and then the male comedian has gone oh my god i'm so sorry and in their own guilt they go do this i got this thing for you why interesting so i can't say i haven't benefited from that in a way, but like, yeah, I don't have any bad blood with the guy. It just, I haven't heard from him in years. He maybe finally was like, okay, I guess. Well, he's had to change his number a few times. I guess it's not going to happen.

Yeah. Just, I have clips from his third ever episode. He had a comedian named Nick Guerra. Would you like to join us for this, watch some clips with us? Sure. You don't have to. I'm not trying to. I feel like the odd job.

No, you're right to think it over. I am curious to see how he treats a very beautiful small man as opposed to a small woman. I believe Nick Garrett. Did Nick have long hair at the time? He did. Yes. This is 2015 still. He used to have such a beautiful hair.

He's the winner of the 2015 NBC's last comic standing show at this time. So he's riding a high. He's a big get. that John gets on the show and what I love about this you were there for the first episode we watched John on the second episode talk to one of his

drinking buddies who does stand up on the side and the guy's been married for decades and he just talked about sex the whole time with this guy and the guy's like yeah man I don't know I've been married for a long time John just brings up sex with everyone so it wasn't just you

unfortunately I'm hurt but also relieved yeah exactly So this is how the show starts off. What I like about this is we're three episodes in. John's still working the board at this point. We know at some point he will be taken off the board. But Stephanie introduces him as Coco the Gorilla

because she has no respect for him anymore. I hear nothing from good things from Coco the Gorilla over there on the board. I'm recording because I'd hate to do this whole thing. That's good. That's really good. You look like an animatron. Is this recording? Is everything good?

Yeah, everything is good. You know what? He says you're going to be a huge superstar. She had asked twice if it's recording, which tells me there was a time or two when it was not recording. Yeah, what episodes have you not seen? Right. It's never made it to air. From the archives.

So making facial jokes on the radio. Yeah. She would assume he's not even rolling. Why are you making funny faces that we can't see? So Stephanie brings up that when she was in 6th grade She looked like

Like Nick does The guest here Because of how her hair was And Fucking John He's obsessed with Stephanie Who's a lesbian And obsessed with the time

Before she came out Yeah you did Have sex with men At some Oh yes I did I did Nick Really? Yes

Did you like it? Listen we covered this in previous happy hours let's focus on dick yes i suck a mean dick we've discussed this previously you sucked off richard nixon i mean no god jim ward is such a fucking no talent it's a political show he's going for you know i've learned more about nick ward since this because we haven't doing some research he's a voice actor his job is to do voices on there he stinks even when it's scripted he's no billy west that i can tell you for sure i believe it all right well who is but of course that's a good good point but could you imagine he keeps bringing

up stephan remember you had sex with men right you just like even though when you were on the show he's just like why wouldn't you do it again like he's still trying to fuck stephanie he's trying to fuck you it's also like do you think you're going to be at the front of that line right she's going to be like you're right let's do it john john actually tells a story about uh there was a lesbian in a bar he was hanging out at and he was hitting on her and she said to him you know what i miss penis which definitely did not happen that was the story he told what were you saying jessica you know what i don't even you know what i was saying is watch watching stephan in this interaction with john makes me feel like it almost makes me go maybe being gay's a choice

and she like she's met too many men like john and she's like you know what enough is enough yeah i would also be a lesbian if the uh whenever John's around. Choice's job. He was hitting on a lesbian. So Nick is from Texas. Stephanie does not like Texas. So she reminds

everyone. That's where George W. Bush came from. And so Nick's not really political. He's rolling with it. And then John shoehorn's in the story that I'm telling you is neither here nor there. They also burned down his childhood home in protest. Did they? Yeah.

Back in 2009, I was doing a gig. Oh, that's I felt, John, that I should say something. Oh, that's awful. We don't encourage that. Steph, I don't know if I ever told you this. Yeah, you would. But I went to a Yankee game, and the Yankees was playing the Texas Rangers.

That was a stutter. And these guys, like, just, you know, they were fans. So they brought me back to their house. They had, like, seven guns in their closet and started shooting it outside. Okay. That's science. I was not saying just seven?

In Texas, they call that poor. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a starter pack right there, man. That was the full story, John told. It's obvious he knows nothing about the country he lives in. If he's just like, can you believe it? These people in Texas own guns. Yeah.

That's now the fourth time we've heard him say, Steph, did I tell you this story? Yeah. Why would he have told her this story? It's not a story. It's not a story. You're right. It's not a story. It doesn't matter because he'll say, Steph.

I know I told you this story. this butt and then lunching. Oh, yeah, you're right. Yeah, he doesn't have that move, too. Can't win. I wonder if they pulled out the guns because he was trying to have sex with them. Yeah. One of the things that we've learned about John is that he books the guests and then his

prep sucks. The information he gives to Stephanie to bring in someone cold and just have a conversation with is very difficult, as you see in this clip. But I understand from your press release here that you skewer relationships family and everyday life. Oh man, what bio is that? Yeah. That's such a basic bio. Apparently you have a cool and energetic attitude. You put that together to try to be like, yeah, guys, come see me. You know, because they won't. Like, come see my show. Did you notice that the camera guy knew to look at John when she complained about the prep on there? John knew to look at the camera. That's so funny. That's me.

I did something. Cool and energetic attitude. What are we supposed to do with this, John, is what Stephanie is saying. She's reading through this. Oh, God. There's nothing more mortifying than when you're a guest on a show, no matter what, even if it's an up-to-date bio, but when it's old, just like sitting there for me, like when they're reading it, you're like, oh, God, I type that. And it's so formal and such a nightmare.

Yeah. It's supposed to be on a website somewhere where people are buying tickets to the comedy club. Is that supposed to be the prep for the host of the show? Yeah. Yeah, you're supposed to pick out the things that like, okay, here's some. cool piece of information, some credits, but he's just giving these, like, word for word. Informative, yeah, just word for word.

No, no, uh, no finesse. Yeah, Jessica, his job would be to find the credits that would interest Stephanie or more importantly, the audience and then lead her towards those as opposed to here's a cool, funny guy with interesting stuff. Do you have any memory of what he told you about this show? Before I was done? Like to book you on it. Do you remember what he said?

just say come do this thing he said i he said it was a he did say i think he said he's like oh you know it's uncensored you could come and talk about whatever it's um she's really cool you guys will get along everybody's cool yeah cool funny guy yeah i told you the same thing i was like yeah sure i'll do it uh i i mean i'll ask you about your pussy because i I don't think I knew who she was before that. Yeah. And I was like, okay, yeah, I'll do that. She seems like a cool person to get to know.

I'll go talk to this lady. And I did enjoy talking to her. But, yeah, no, I had no idea what I was getting into. It was, oh, no, maybe it wasn't so early in the morning. I've done her regular show and it's like, right. Yeah, now this was a happy hour we were drinking. But there was a certain point in your episode where you and Stephanie are having this, like,

serious conversation about depression. and SSRIs and how you treat depression and stuff. I'm a hoot. And John interrupts to, by the way, it's the host's fault if things go into that direction. It's not your fault. But John interrupts, Stephanie's not great. John interrupts to explain that he takes Viagra when he's doing coke. Me too.

Which is a weird thing to say. So on this episode, he's talking about how, oh, Nick is a player, Stephanie. He gets all the girls, and something is revealed here. Man. He's a silly man. He's a silly, dirty little man. No, but you know what is, Steph, he's a big player. This guy goes out.

Oh, I don't know if I'm a big player. Oh, yes, you do. Oh, no, no, no. Well, here's the thing. I enjoy talking to women. Moulshut artist, bullshit. No, no, no. I enjoy talking about this earlier.

Like, he was talking about Cialis. Talking about Cialis and Viagra. Yeah. He's talking about Cialis and Viagra, and the truth is that, I have terrible libido. Isn't that telling that before this, John was talking to this guy about dick pills. He's always talking about boder pills.

He definitely has an issue with that. It's all, I mean, my God. I don't know anyone else who talks about a Rectown dysfunction. Yeah. I don't know anyone who talks about a Rectown dysfunction as much as John does. And we've been covering John for many years now. And I keep hearing it over and over again. But so you just heard this guy just be like,

I mean, listen, man, I'm not a player, you know, I get along with people, I have conversations, and John feels the need to call him out. So, but you're, because you're funny and smart, so you like talking to women. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But I know, I know. He's so full of shit. He was, let me just say, he was having sex with one of the freaking bartenders at one of the comedy clubs who worked. Well, you know, I have sex. This is what he calls talking.

But, but player, I'm not a player. Yeah. What a little Gatsby Greg Jodaz? Remember, you, you fuck that bartender? What if I was like? What if he had a girlfriend at the time? That's what I'm thinking. Yeah.

This guy's a player. Yeah, what if it was me? There you go. Are you a bartender at this club? What if that's the guy I was dating? But he knows what he's doing. He knows this is whatever year guy code. I don't know how old you are.

He knows you don't just shout that out. And if the guy says, no, no, no, I'm not a player. you don't go, you're full of shit, of course you are. Assuming there's someone in this guy's life that's listening to that, that's blowing up his phone right now going, what the fuck did I just hear? Like, why are you doing that? And he does the same thing.

Yeah, yeah. There's a famous Mitch Hedberg joke. They're all famous. Where he goes, I don't have a girlfriend. I just know a girl would be very upset. She heard me say that. That's the same kind of thing. But John thinks it to Jason Glearn.

He does it to you. I know, why are you blowing up this person? Right. John thinks that everyone's like. Everyone's like him, and that if you're getting laid, you have to shout it from the rooftops. Yes, right. Like, why would you be modest about this, man? You got your dick wet.

He's like, yeah, I don't need to talk about that. It's fine. Yeah, he's like, because I believe it'll happen again. It's going to be fine. Right. All right. So, John, so 70 remembers John's story that actually might have been on your episode. Oh, it was on your episode where John was talking about how we had a show in Atlanta and he was canceling his direct TV.

and then it turned out the customer service rep was three hours away and then the customer service rep came to John's stand-up show and then they fucked and then he got free direct TV from that. It's the dumbest story anyone's ever heard before. And so Stephanie remembers that because this guy's talking about being on the road

and hooking up with girls. He doesn't want to. John's forcing that to happen. But this is funny because Stephanie uses the word that John definitely doesn't know. And if you listen closely, you'll hear John repeat it under his breath to try to figure out what she's saying.

This is like a road comic. John amused us last week in The Happy Hour with his story of banging a girl for DirecTV because she worked at, oh, my God. And banging her again for the sports package and oh my gosh, it was so elucidating. The other thing is, yeah, there's so many, I want to get so many.

Did you catch that? Joe, he's like, what? Elucidating. And he's like, he doesn't know if it's good or bad. Yeah, right. You know what? That was the reaction.

Just like, what are you saying? Yeah. Sounds just like another word. I don't know what I mean. What's he doing with his shoulders? He's like a marionette. He's all stiff up there and he's like jolting back and forth. He goes crazy on this episode.

I'm going to play you some clips. He must be both drunk and high on this episode because he loses all control of himself on this. Remember, day three, running the board. Oh, now he's getting comfortable. For the happy hour of the show. Yeah, yeah, he's feeling it. He's like, I'm in. Yeah.

Now, this guy, Nick, explains that he was a, dork in high school because they go, oh, were you a nerd? He's like, no, nerds go on to, like, go to NASA and stuff. I was a dork, you know, I didn't have any friends, and I wasn't smart.

And so then he starts calling John a dork, and John does not like that. And he's, but he's got the board now. He can play drops. Mismatch and clothes. They look ridiculous. They do goofy voices.

You know, I mean, come on. Look, we're dorks. Me and John. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Look, you know how these people lie? I mean, what the heck? I don't have to tell you. They don't know what the truth is.

John just discovered his box. It's a whole thing. Yeah, he's been playing with it. I was in Battle of Bands. I mean, I was the... That was a very dorky thing. Really? Yeah, Battle of the Bands, it's dork.

I was in Bails of Bands. Like, yep, I know losers. He's like, what? Yeah, he was not expecting that. That was very funny. But just to get back to my nerdiness on this, The fact that John hit that drop that goes out way too long, that's not a drop you should have on your board. That's a monologue.

That was the second time he played that during this episode, too. Everyone just sit there and be like, like, there's that family guy episode where weaning and the butter just constantly fucking hit and things. Everyone's just like sitting there waiting. What are we doing? It's like the dogs that use the buttons to talk. Just keep going like, treat, treat, treat, treat. Right, yeah, it's too much, too much. Look at me.

Yeah. So, all right, so as we've established, this guy is a road comic. He doesn't want to talk about his sex life. It's very obvious. And John will not stop bringing things up. So how many in the past year? Oh, dude, I can't say that on the year that I got girls listening. They've been asking me the same question.

Right. Pick up the fucking hits, John. He's not looking to talk about his sex life right now. He's a road comic. Jesus. Yeah, men on the road. I can't even, I can't even fathom what mailcoms on the road to do. But that goes back to what you were saying, producer Chris, where it's just like, why wouldn't you be bragging?

In John's mind, he's like, all I'd be doing is bragging about how much pussy I'm getting. And this guy's like, I'm actually trying to keep it up to DL. Sometimes you want to be quiet about it. Yeah, right. I don't need Missy in Cleveland knowing about Gina from Philly. You know Missy? I've already said too much. Jesus.

Everybody knows Missy. I know, Missy. Yeah, there's a bunch of women scattered around the states that think they're the only person he's ever talked to. Let the man, especially he just won last comic standing. Right. And he was dorky in high school. Let him have his moment. Yeah.

I think John doesn't want him to have his moment. Yeah, that's clear. He did the same thing to you. He also opened a story with, I was sleeping with this married woman. And Stephanie's just like, this is not in. Deering you to my audience like you don't lead with that people don't like that. It's also amazing to see with Jason and with you how they all Come in as friends and over the course of this episode. John turns on them and they turn on him and the friendship is over It's great. It's a quick process. All right. So, uh, John explains what a good comic this guy is. He's trying to let Stephanie know that he booked her a really good guest. No, but you know, I mean, I work with everybody. Yeah.

Artie Lang and, you know, Gilbert Godfrey, this guy is very hard to follow. He just kills. What's his bit that you can't follow? Artie Lang and Gilbert Godfrey are his two examples of working with everybody. What year is this? It's all about his dating and relationships. I'm sorry, go ahead, Jessica. No, just when has he ever had, like, he's never followed Artie Lang?

No, they've never been like, hey, Artie, come open for stuttering. No, he's not following any of these people. They're the headliners on the Southern John and Friends tour, yes. He just kills. What's his bit that you can't follow? It's all about his dating and relationships of being on the dance floor. But do you want to get married or no? Kids, nothing?

You want that? No, no. Oh, so you're just going to do the Seinfeld route. I want to do the Letterman route. I want to get very sexy. You're not Mexican. You're not Mexican. You know what kids?

What? Okay. This is a thing. Yeah, this is a thing that John does often, where he'll bring up stereotypes and he'll he pretends to be this like super liberal guy on the super liberal show

and he'll be like well Mexicans they're always like having way too many kids and stuff and they're like what do you mean? Like everyone has their own way. Yeah, everyone's an individual I do love that Nick immediately corrected

talking about marriage and kids he goes, I want to go to the Seinfeld round I wonder if he was like he married a 17 year old maybe that's not a good example. Probably not a good example. He was trying to say I want to become successful and then get my pick of the litter

But, yeah, the way that came out, it's a good point. Whoops. That is a good point. So later, they go to this. So this guy, Nick, is Mexican. And they go into this conversation about the opportunities he's had in Hollywood now that everyone knows him as Mexican-American. And he talks about how, like, yeah, all these writers, they're trying so hard not to be

stereotypical that is actually more racist, the way they incorporate these minority characters into these roles. And I find it actually offensive. and that's why I don't audition for these roles. So they go on this long conversation about that after John made that comment about your Mexican and why don't you want to have kids. So then John feels the need to try to make up for that.

That's exactly the problem with social media. If you say you're a dog person, that means that you're completely against cats. You fucking cat killer. Yeah. Wait a minute. Hey, listen. Listen, Steph, I banged a lot of dogs.

Don't talk about my ex-wife that way. The show has taken on such a feminist bent since John has joined. All right. That was not the clip. I thought it was. I made a bad note for myself. But that's John once again talking about sleeping with a lot of people, which he loves to do on this show. And no one's excited about that.

Stephanie's face right there where it's paused. It's like, God, what have I done? Yes. It's not, it's not right. Regardless of that horrible content, like he interrupted her mid-sentence to shoehorn that in. Exactly. He thinks he's the guest on every show. show this is only number three

so they pick up on the fact that Nick has an interesting laugh and John is loving this to dream the impossible dream what is your type? I'll go show tunes again the same as your time we like all the same girls we talked about I know wow it's true

you're like BFFs hot straight who doesn't like those girls what does that laugh That is like our era's Hershack. That's a great description of it. He's having so much fun. He's like, this is never going to end.

He is so excited about this because they're finally picking on the guest. This is the first time, and we've watched every episode so far, where they weren't picking on John. He's like, yes, we're making fun of someone else. Let's go. He's so excited about that. He can't even say anything. He's just so giddy.

He's so good. He's loving it. And we're going to see more of this. It actually reminds me of when they would make fun of Baba Booie's teeth on our Stern Show. I'm like, yeah, we're making fun of Baba Booie's teeth. I'm getting in here. Let's go.

You know, they turned to him. He just had that look on his face that was like, this hurts. This sucks. This guy, when they call out his laugh, he doubles down on the left. And for anyone just listening, you have to see it. because the bottom half of his face is like Joker wild laughing but his eyes are just like

is anybody laughing has anybody he's just looking for some kind of approval that never comes it's very unnatural all right well this is uh... jack continues to ask sex questions from a guy who's completely uncomfortable talking about his sex life obviously we've established

that and John's just out of control here all right let me ask you a question have you ever had sex with a girl that was not your type that was I don't I don't know, like, had some problem, like... Don't talk about my ex-wife that way. Stop it. In the middle, when I found...

In the middle of sex, I was like, oh, you're not my type. Because he had a penis? No, no, man. Wow, that's the biggest comment I've ever seen. Wow, you are really excited. At least I'd know how to handle that. I've done this.

I've got years of practice on this. He does say, I don't know what's creepier is your laugh or his muttly laugh. That's so funny. thank you Stephanie my god the COPD in that laugh is psychotic and thank you to Stephanie for finally picking that up and calling that out but also how many times is somebody going to make an ex-wife choke the same my ex-wife that gym sucks so bad I really want to do a deep time imagine what his ex-wife is like oh god I really want to do a deep dive in the gym he's never said anything remotely interesting singer Winnie on this show. He sucks.

This is just a fun, quick clip of John just slurping under the microphone. It's the radio veteran that Stephanie Miller hired from the Howard Stern shell. He'll make my show legitimate. Oh, God. Gross.

My God. I wonder what she thought would happen versus what happened. Yeah. Well, so we've been over this quite a bit on the show. She hired John because John was coming off the Tonight Show. And so he's got all these connections to major celebrities. And then I was the first guest.

What a bummer for her. I wasn't going to say. I'm glad you, I mean, oh, I mean, when I got there, I was like, I'm not supposed to be here. This is a mistake. No, he explained it to her. She's cool. This girl's cool.

This girl's cool. You're going to love her. I got her drinks in Vegas. You're going to like her a lot. She left the tip. She's awesome. I love her. But so he only lasted.

six months on the show and we're actually going through a journey right now on WATP to explore what these six months were but as we're finding out I think John oversold his connections in Hollywood and it's not really working out the way the Stephanie was hoping

and he also sucks at working the board because he also said I got all this radio experience I can do all these different jobs this is him failing at that there's a man on the wing off my wing I'm so Trying to find the fucking Twilight fucking zone reference.

Do you add that in here? Oh, are you still pushing the buttons? Don't worry about it. Yeah, he's still. I think he's calling China. He's like a regular streamer. He's just like, which button is it?

Doesn't, what do you touch? Do you just slam your hands into all? You hit like every button and not one noise. John, I feel like we're overmodulating. I do. I don't know. Are we should be?

Am I too loud? So we can't hit the buttons. And there's three people making fun of them at once. And it's overmodulated. He's not even recording it correctly. That's great. also look and I can admit to not knowing enough about running a board even if there was a sound effect on the board wouldn't he be the one that knows that he's like do you have that on

here I know don't you put those on there dude I don't know no he's he's panicking he said in the second episode he's bad running the board and he can't do it so he's putting zero effort into this he's he's already given up yeah she's like how do I get out of this Yeah. At this point, he told you he's bad out of it. It's your fault. Exactly. It's on Steph.

I told you. I don't know where that clip went that I was trying to get to, but John later explained to Nick when he said, you know, you're a Mexican, you don't want to have kids. He goes, by the way, just so you know, I'm Puerto Rican. So it's okay. Which I'm mad I don't have that clip because that's the most racist thing you could say. Like, you think Puerto Ricans and Mexicans are the same? Like, what? That gives you the pass, you idiot?

That's so wild. Yeah. Even Nick was just like, huh? Okay, man. Whatever. Even in the body language, you watch the guest starts with their body facing John, because that's his friend, and halfway or a quarter through. It just turns and they start facing Stephanie,

and now it's them and Stephanie against all of them. Do you remember any look she gave you or any kind of, because it seemed like you two were on the same page. You two were glad things there were a lot. Oh, yeah. I mean, there was a lot of, like, the eyes, like the, you know, like, But I was so new to it that I thought, like, oh, is this the thing? And I'm like, how much can I call out before it's like, no, this is just what we do.

It's a dynamic. But it did, looking back, what I thought was sort of almost like the schick or everyone has their part. I'm now realizing, especially rewatching these clips with Nick, you know, someone else on the episode. I'm like, oh, she was, she was so annoyed. Yeah. She's just so done. You were put in a really tough spot and you did a great job with that. This guy, Nick, is like, I can't be funny with these people.

None of these people are funny. It's very difficult to riff with them. What kind of asshole was he? Was he a huge? Huge. Huge. Max, stop it. I feel bad that I'm the most serious person here.

I wanted to be the comic. You've actually made some really incredibly, this has been an incredibly astute happy hour for, you know, because you're not, well, you don't drink, which is you know, one of your detriments. See, we're getting the, we're in sync. Yes. You were in sync? Really?

Wow. You were a boy band? He was right before they came over to America. Back when they were big in Europe, John was the sixth member. And they're like, we've got to lose one of you. With my gut, I played two of them. But Nick, I got to ask you. All of that was so embarrassing.

And I don't blame Nick for being like, hey, guys, I'm sorry. I'm not having, like, a good time. riffing with you you all suck yeah it's also like that energy is uncomfortable you know what I mean if you're looking at like how Steph is clearly reacting and now this is the third episode so she's like oh this is a pattern you're it's like being with divorced parents and trying to keep everyone together you know you're like actually that's exactly like being with divorced parents yeah good point yeah oh I want to reach through the screen and go Steph.

Yeah, I know. I know, but then we wouldn't have a lot of content that we're going to get to in the near future. Someone gave us all the archives, Jessica. We need these episodes. I mean, I will say I love Stephanie, although the issue with me being on Happy Hour is that she enjoyed me so much. She started having me on a regular show. And let me tell you, if somebody doesn't belong on a political show, it's me. Yeah, that would be a rough transition.

I was so uninformed every episode of like five. I'm like, what's happening? Oh, that's okay. Should we renegotiate this Iran deal? Let me check my note, so I have a joke for that. Let me get some coffee. And now we know why you and John aren't friends anymore, because all he ever wanted, and I think he brings it up every episode, is to be invited to the big show.

That's all he wanted, and he never got it. And he brings you on as a guest, and you have no idea that he's about to get fired and they're going to ask you to do the big show. That's funny. Yeah. That is devastating. All right, two more clips, and then we'll move on with our lives. But this is more of making fun of Nick's laugh,

and John just loses his mind. He's so excited that people are focusing on something other than what he's doing wrong. Yeah, just a transmission. I got you missed out. You know what, Steph? I never noticed he had that laugh. No. That's the first thing everybody mentions is that for a show.

And in my head, I'm like, I laughed on stage. Oh, no. Probably because I remember you laugh I think it's because you're hearing it in the headphones for the first time That's why He's so excited He's looking across and stuff

He's like, ah, we're both gang up And I'm on this one, right? You and me? We're on the same page Make fun of this guy together Oh, poor Nick Justice for Nick and his weird laugh I know, poor Nick, one more clip

More making fun of his laugh have you heard that in high school did anyone make fun of you laugh? I asked about that I was like guys did I always laugh like this and someone was like yeah you had a silly laugh Yeah but everyone that said that John

They're not around anymore No they're gone Here's the other thing He's like the male carry Most of the kids from high school aren't around anymore They made fun of me through tampon at me in the shower. They're all going to laugh at you.

Oh my gosh, Nick, you're so delightful and creepy. Straight into the camera at the end. John laughs like somebody is holding a gun to his head saying laugh, more, more, more. And he's giving them more, but also like looking to make sure his life is going to end. He's also making fun of someone's laugh. I'll go, what are you doing right now? The audacity. The audacity.

That's a better word. I agree. Jessica, you've been a delight. I'm so glad you came on the show today. Thank you so much for having me. Hell yeah. This was fun. You know, it's a fun walk down memory lane.

Fun, horrifying peek back at my time on happy hour. Jessica, you have just entered the Dabbleverse. You're familiar with the Dabbleverse? I'm going to pretend I am. You don't have to be. In fact, it's better if you're not. Yeah, actually, pretend you're not. It's going to go much better.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You might be exiting the Dabbleverse immediately as well. But, yes, there's a whole subsection of the internet that's opened up to just talks about stuttering John Melendez. And what a boob he is? I mean, what are we doing, guys? We got to move on. Nope, never. Not only have these old Stephanie Miller episodes.

There's too much content. Where can people find you? What do you got coming up? You can find me on any of the social media sites at JMS Comedy. I have a special called Hi, y'all. It's linked in all my bios. And come see me live on the road. If you join that site that's linked to my bio to watch my special, you put in your zip code to join.

And then I can see on a little heat map where people want to see me. And if you're a fan of comedy, I can't stress this enough, go see it live, even if it's not me. Live comedy is the best comedy. Not to, I shouldn't say that on a podcast, probably. No, I totally agree. Actually, we're pretty closely associated with comedy at the Carlson. here in Rochester, New York, and we try to bring the comedians on whenever they're coming in through town and have them over to the studio. So I totally agree. We go out to comedy all the time.

And I'm coming to see you, I think, the Long Beach date, August 13th. Oh, 14th. 14th. Don't go the wrong day. It'll be a weird burlesque show or something. I can't guarantee your safety. I'm camping out, so I'll be there all. John's there doing burlesque. Go ahead and do it. Well, thank you for having me. Honored to be part of the Dabbleverse. as you should be thank you so much at jMS comedy go support jesus see where she's going to be at

and watch her special thank you thank you thanks for being here thanks for having me thanks guys jesska michel singleton everyone outstanding unbelievable we have a booker on this show now or something what are we stephanie miller's happy hour next week is glizel we should get close out that would be very funny. All right, let's find out what's going on with the,

uh, the opster. Opie took to his stream this morning and talked about this new news about how it's and course we had E-Rock on earlier in the show and E-Roc really spelled it out that they're really.

is no new news. It was just the sun, a tabloid in the U.K., writing a story about things that Howard talks about on his show and trying to turn that into a story about not getting renewed. Now, the reason why it's making the rounds, though, is because it's very believable. That series would not be resigning Howard at $100 million a year anymore. Definitely is not worth that amount of money. And the Opster comes on and talks about his take on this. Maybe I should have gave Houdamanta to Howard Stern.

What a career this Howard Stern had, huh? There's a huge rumor that Sirius XM is not going to renew his 100, 100, 100, one, one, what, oh, you're jealous. Yeah, I'm jealous. I'm jealous. A.F. I'm jealous A.F. of Howard Stern. Of course I am. I might make $10 today for my deck overlooking the fucking ocean.

He makes a hundred. $100 million a year. How the money have fallen. What a weird way to live your life to be jealous of others. Other grown men. He's making more money than me. I'm jealous. You are?

Why? I thought you had this amazing life with all these properties and this family and beautiful wife. You jealous of Howard Stern? He did a stuttering John there where it's, started out self-deprecating. I'm only going to make $10. Yeah.

But from the deck in the ocean. Don't forget that, Bert. Yeah, good point. Couldn't even do it. He couldn't do it. He tried to make himself look like the little guy, and he couldn't even follow through. Couldn't. But, Adam, am I alone thinking that this is a weird thing to admit that you're jealous of another adult? He's been comfortable with this for a long time.

His obsession and love of Howard is never. ending, and it's a blind spot for him where he thinks everyone's on his side about this so he can say whatever he wants. Even after he filmed Howard leaving serious and then got in huge trouble for it, he still thinks that was a win for the toe, so to speak. He thinks he got one over, not he looked like a stalker fan. Howard's doing way better in life than I ever well, and I am not jealous of that man. I don't want to trade places with them. I want nothing to do with that lifestyle. So it's just a weird.

To me, it's shocking that he's jealous of Howard Stern and just so quick to admit that. I just know if somebody in the chat wrote in, why are you so jealous of Howard? He would freak out, scream, make funny voices, and then block them immediately. Why would you say that? Well, you mentioned the show yesterday. I was watching the show yesterday. That's why. Oh, you're nitpicking here and there.

Good boy. Yeah, right. So he does go on to say that this could just all be. negotiation tactic to try to get Howard to resign at a lower amount, which is what we were talking about with E. Rock earlier. But then Opie says something that I was shocked by. I'll tell you why I think Howard Stern hates doing radio. What? Yes, hates doing radio. I still love it. I talk to nobody. I don't make much money. But I love, love, turning on a camera, picking up a microphone, and just babbling to the people.

Howard Stern hates it. And that's why the podcasters are just flying by him. He's an old man. He's antiquated. How does Opie know he still loves doing radio? It's been a while what's he talking about? And also, if he is passionate about this thing, he goes, I still love turning on the camera and doing this thing. Well, then try harder.

Most people who are passionate about what they do get better and better at it. Opie's getting worse and worse. He's like, I love doing this thing. It doesn't show. Oh, no. It looks like just the opposite. Yeah, it looks like you don't like it at all. Especially when you're bitching about the money you make because there's none.

Especially when you're comparing yourself to the number one or one of the top broadcasters in the business. I doubted that Howard loved it, but now I'm starting to think he does because Howard doesn't want to let it go. I think we've revealed he genuinely thinks his show is funny. He's, you know, playing for a different audience. I think he's like somebody who doesn't want that daily schedule to go away. And he would actually not want it to leave. He doesn't know what he'd do with himself. Opie fucking hates this. I know he does. It's in every breath. I think Howard pretends. That's his bid. I don't want to do this. I feel so bad, Robin. I don't know what to do. This guy hates it. And he reminds us with every breath.

Yeah, he projects on anyone who makes fun of him. He's just like, oh, you're so miserable. It's like, no, they're actually having a laugh. Yeah, that's the funny part. Yeah, idiot. But, yeah, he's going to explain how he knows that Howard's not enjoying himself. He's actually off for the summer. Who takes off from doing this?

Holy, you know, my setup is okay. I set it up in 10 minutes by myself. And next thing you know, I'm broadcasting to the same. the world and this guy can't turn on something during the summer and give his fan base just a little something something all right there's a lot to unpack here so first off i'm not going to defend howard stern that's not something i do on this show but the man is 71 years old he wants to take the summers off and from what i know from other people who have done this profession morning radio is grueling getting up at that time and it's not just getting up it's not just getting up it's

having a show prepped, it's being ready to perform and to do this. Like, you don't have a life outside of that. Anthony was able to figure it out because he would just, you know, go out drinking, sleep for a couple hours, do the show, go back to bad, get up, go out drinking. He had a fun schedule. But it's still really hard on people to do a morning radio show. And the fact that Opie goes, ha, how hard is this, man? You just get up and turn on the camera.

Yeah, yeah, that's actually not. what the job description is. You should have to put some work into it. You have to know what you're going to talk about and book guests and have interview questions and all the things Opie doesn't do. Does he not realize it's not going well? That's a great question. He's just like, look, and I can do it.

And Howard's just like, you can do what? What are you talking about? What do you mean? Not to mention, it's not the first time Howard has taken the summer off. Why is this a surprise? I mean, this is what happens when you get older. You just, you don't want to work as much. It makes sense.

I get it. I mean, Carl, you, you know, ripped off Jocktober, but shed a light on Opie, and people seem to really like it. And now there are fans of that segment that do it for themselves. There are people that were fans of yours. You were a fan of his. Those fans of yours get more ratings than Opie. Yes. We can name a half thousand examples right now if we wanted to.

Yeah. All right. So, Opie explains that it's crazy that Howard would ever want to retire from his job. It just proves he hates fucking doing it at this point because this is the easiest thing you could do. People are like, when are you going to retire? I would say never, because I never had a job. This is not a job. All right.

No, they say you're retired because you've already retired. This is what you call a hobby. This is not a show is what you mean. He's right. This is not a job. You are retired. That's so funny. We both had the same thought on that.

I'm just going to keep doing this because it's great. Yeah, you have no pressure. You have no viewers. You don't do any prep. Yeah, of course. You could just like talk to your friends on the internet. And he also doesn't have any friends. This is a crazy thing.

I was on Drew Lane show yesterday. We were pulling some Opie clips. And or maybe, no, yeah, I can't remember. Point down, whatever. So the fact that Opie knows where all these viewers are in the world because he's on the pod. squad Facebook page and so he's becoming friends with these people so they show up and he's just like hey what's going out of Louisiana oh you're up into Albany right like dude this is not

the relationship you should have with your viewers this is crazy but that's where opi's at he's a lonely man who puts zero work into this and for some reason thinks that he can call out Howard Stern for not working as hard and opi's a lot younger than Howard too let's keep that in mind but in true stuttering John fashion, Opie sees this as an opportunity. I'm a, oh, I'm a, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, I'll take 10 million a year, and I'll give you 50 shows a year. Jesus. They're going to pass.

I talked to them. They're good. Opie, Opie really is jealous. He wants you making this money. We got an update on the AC thing. So Fred finally fixed the AC unit or replaced it. But because the dampers aren't fixed yet, one of the floors is 80 degrees. The other floor is 68 degrees.

And when Opie, remember it was $10,400? You kept talking about that. Oh, yeah. So Fred took 600 bucks off. So it was $9,800. And Opie wrote him a check and said, don't cash this for a few days. I played the clip with Drew yesterday. And he goes, see, I'm just like all of you guys.

What do you mean? No, I'm not broke. Yeah, but also most people are the same temperature. Right, yeah, right. There's that too. But most people, if they have to pay for something expensive and you're like, oh, I don't have the money yet, you're waiting for a paycheck. You're waiting for money to come in that you earn. Right.

What is Opie waiting for? There's no money coming again. Like, why do you need a couple of days? Are you selling your apartment in Manhattan? I don't understand. I don't either. It's really weird that he said that. His bank transfers take a couple days.

They don't know. They actually should be like just like that. Just pull it from your savings account. I don't know. Is he selling stock? I don't know. I don't know what he's doing. He's waiting for the price of Bitcoin to go up.

Maybe. But since we're talking about the AC thing again. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Didn't he brag that he fixed the dampers a month ago? Two months ago. Yeah. Yeah. He was bragging to do his money and getpards.

Yeah. And they're still not working. And Fred can't fix him until something. September. And I'm to believe that his wife and kids are just sitting through this. They're just sleeping, dealing with this, no complaints. Never comes up. There's no way.

There's a family there. Anyway, I did give a full update on that on Drew's show yesterday. Check out Drew Lane's podcast. You can find them on YouTube. My whole segment's up there. But also, if you're on our Patreon or Supercast, I always put the audio out when I do those segments over there. So if you're on there, you maybe have already heard this.

or you could be already hearing this. All right. So Stuttering John 2.0 over here is asking for the job on Sirius to replace Howard. And then he explains that Howard is actually the one who is jealous. This guy does not like doing it anymore. It's obvious because he doesn't do a lot of shows. He takes the whole summer off. And then he's jealous of all the podcasters like Joe Rogan and Theo Vaughn

and the podcasts that Sirius XM have signed for ridiculous money. He's jealous of all that. He's jealous of Andy Cohen, who's now the It Girl over there at Sirius XM. He's jealous of all that. And he could do something about that by just turning on a camera and babbling from his rich Carlton. Okay. Now, I'm impressed that Opie came up with a podcaster name, aside from just Joe Rogan. Whenever Opie talks about podcasts, he's like, you know, Joe Rogan.

He actually came with Theo Vaughn. Well done. But he still doesn't know smart list or call her daddy the shows that Sirius XM invested all of this money in, which is the reason why they probably don't have money to pay Howard Stern. He's just completely out of it. And Opie, who used to go head-to-head against Howard Stern, they had this rivalry on the radio, should be following this stuff more than anyone. We had E-Rock on for the first segment.

E-Rock is endlessly knowledgeable about all of this stuff and all the players and what's going on behind the scenes and the tapes team with the Howard Stern show and why he might sell the rights to his old shows and Opie just sits here and just goes yeah Howard's just jealous of Theo Vaughn because he won't turn on his camera again with the jealousy thing too it's like that's a weird way for multi-millionaire adults to live to being jealous of others it sounds and it's weird that he can't mention call her daddy like it's just just weird. You were there. They're the number one. It's like if they're not a direct tie to him. Yeah. If he can't like tie it back to his personal life or if he, they seem like they don't know about Opie and Anthony, he doesn't entertain them at all. I don't think he knows who Alex Cooper is. Oh, no. He has no idea. That's crazy. He thinks that's a guy. He's in podcasting and he doesn't know call her dad. He's no idea. He's never mentioned it. All right. So this right here might be the problem. If I'm going to help My buddy, Greg, out.

It takes nothing to do this. You turn it on. I talk 40 minutes every morning. It's the easiest thing to do in the world. But, you know, the guy takes the whole summer off. And then he's a complainer. That was a really good impression, though. That was, I thought I was looking at Howard for a second.

That was crazy. What an asshole. It takes nothing to do this. You just turn the camera on. He's fucking lost as to what it takes to put on a successful show. He has no idea. That's just you. Do you know that everyone else doesn't broadcast in the same fashion?

Some people take notes. Yeah. Like Theo Vaughn, that's a perfect example. He gets like big guests on. That's conversations with them. Did you see the first interaction between Theo and Joaquin Phoenix? No, I didn't. Within 15 seconds, Theo's completely disarmed this guy.

And Joaquin's like, wow, you are very sincere. here. Like he's touched by how sincere this guy comes off. He doesn't recognize any of this stuff. No, he has no clue. He still is in this mindset, it's all celebrity driven. And so if you have a name like Joe Rogan, people watch you. If you name

like Howard Stern, people watch you. No, you still have to put on a good show also. And so now, after he said that, after all of that, he just said, what's Howard's problem? He's taking the summer off. He doesn't care anymore. He needs to turn on the microphone and do a show and that will solve all of his problems.

And then he makes all of that moot. What else you're doing? In this new culture, I'm not going to lie to you, it's exhausting. If you don't keep up with your social media, if you're not live streaming every fucking day, if you're not putting clips up every fucking day, these people, meaning you, you forget about the person immediately. You've got to constantly be feeding the beast. and this guy takes the whole subber off and then he's wondering why Andy Cohen is the it girl at Sirius XM.

Oh my goodness. You just said it's no work at all. You just turn on the camera and just do a thing and then that keeps you relevant. And then immediately after that, I mean, there's no time in between. He goes, and it's so much work, you have to get clips up and you have to keep pushing your social media. It's like, yeah, maybe that's all this stuff he doesn't want to do.

you just explained all the stuff opi sucks at yeah you just explained the exact opposite point that he was making this entire video and i'm not implying that he has a younger audience but anyone under 30 that was born into this world looks at what he's complaining about like you sound like you going to school and you don't want to read all these books like yes you have to put it out every day anyone under 30s just like that's the fun part i'm making video clips i'm posting that my instagram i thought he loves this what are you talking about that's This is what he does for joy. Right, you would think.

That's what he talks about. Remember when he needed to buy a new phone? He's like, this is how I make my living. This is how I make my, yeah. Okay. All right, I did play these clips on Drew's show yesterday, but I feel like it's very important that we keep this on WATP because this has been a saga this year.

And we've discovered that Opie is a hero. Like David Hasselhoff, this is a man who just runs out self-hearted. into the ocean, into a riptide to save children's lives. He doesn't even know them, but he needs to be the hero, and he reminds us of that. The other storyline this summer, well, you're officially looking at a hero. You're looking at a hero. And I don't know why, but. Uh, the fact that I'm a hero.

Where is this hero? Oh, is why, but, uh, the fact that I'm a hero is, is bothering people. I'm, I'm a hero. Uh, and it bothers people. I don't know why it would bother people. Maybe because they didn't have the balls to go into that rip current and help save two children, but I'm a hero. I've been trying to downplay it all summer.

but we live in a very small, tight-knit community. We got our own police. We all got guns. We all got crazy security. Sure. We're going with us, Opie. We all know each other. People are literally stopping on the beach going, are you the one?

Am I? Yes, I am. Yes, I am. Bullshit. All right. Opie is the hero of the summer. Everyone in the neighborhood is just like, John, there's Greg, there's Greg, that's the Greg, that's the Greg who saved the life.

I'm like, shit, that's Greg. I met him once. I touched his hand. What? This is what we're glad to believe from this. This is Homer Simpson, you're cool. You're so mean. All right.

He said two things, like one after the other. If it was written in the script, you wouldn't believe it. It was something like, I'm a hero, I'm a hero, I'm a hero, and then I'm so selfless or something like that. He was like, I don't even care. Why isn't everybody hanging? attention. I've been trying to downplay. I'm just like, do you guys do realize I'm like a huge hero though, right? It's like which, yeah, which one is it? You said that one into the other. That's not how that works. And heroes are not famous for saying, I'm a hero. Typically, that's what

they don't say. Just ask any of the people behind me. All right, so I want to remind everyone that the father of these two kids who were going to definitely meet their maker, if not for the opster. The father is a big fan of the Opie and Anthony show, and I'm playing this because this plays a very important role into what we're going to see Opie talk about next. Then it turns out

our husband, who was in deep trouble in the riptide, he turns out to be a huge old Opie and Anthony fan when he used to drive down to Baltimore to see his now wife. Now, the reason why this is important is because there's no way

this guy was aware that Opie was living in the same neighborhood and was still doing a show but now he is now he's very aware of that because opi was the reason why he almost died telling him to run into the riptide and get whisked away into the sea and because of that i believe him and his wife are now watching opi's stream they have to be opi's this hero they just interacted with them we just found out he's the neighbor oh my god i remember opi and anthony back in the day i would listen to them on my long drives i was a huge fan of the show and so i think what opi is doing in these next clips is performing for this family

this is him communicating directly to this man the fan and his wife whose daughter he saved you know i'm not gonna lie to you in in the back of my head because you know if you've been following the the storyline this is one of those unbelievable stories for the whole summer if you've been following the storyline she said we need to have you guys over for drinks so then i'm fantasizing what i'm going to get for rescuing her daughter from a riptide and it's official i saved her life the mom said it to my wife and kids i saved her daughter's life so in my head i'm thinking wow what is that worth because man they got a they got a house that dwarfs my So they, she's got some, she's got some bucks.

She's got some money. So the reason why I'm setting this up this way, and I truly believe this, if this is a bit, fine. Opie being a selfish, greedy douchebag, like, ah, what's my reward? Pay up. I did something cool. But it's been established. These people are watching this.

And so he is going to reveal what his reward was, but first he's going to fantasize about what it could have been. I'm fantasizing about, wow, maybe she'll pay my taxes out here. I'm fantasizing about a lobster dinner. There's it going to be a lobster dinner and a big metal tin with ice

with all the fiction. Are you going to see? Who is this guy? Is this crazy? Fantasies are like monopoly cars and like top hats and monocles. What the fuck is that? I know. I'm going to own the railroad. They're going to buy me a shellfish. two shellfish

mashed potatoes how did you know it's my favorite put some applesauce on there like every great hero has been quoted what's in it for me yes I know this is what's so insane

about all of this so then he tells the story of this grateful mom comes over to his place with the gift basket and she's going to explain to Greg what an amazing hero

he is he's laid I'm a Navy seal In her eyes I'm a Navy seal So she's babbling and reliving the whole thing And my wife at this point I don't blame her

She's like oh my gosh And I'm just And I'm just soaking it in What an asshole Yeah What an asshole Even his wife is just like All right

Stop feeding his fucking ego You've been bragging about this nonstop ever since It's a gift I love how when he uses the word babble is a living But when other people use it, it's like, oh, they're babbling on and on. He got shampoo and foot soap. Here's some nail clippers. Take the hint.

But thanks for saving my daughter. So, yeah, he can't get enough of this praise. He's loving it. He's lapping it up. This whole segment is actually pretty long. I didn't pull a lot of clips from it because I'm just like, all right, get to the fucking reveal. So finally, we get to the big reveal. What did Opie get as a reward for saving lives?

she this is what you get for saving someone's daughter you get not one but two bottles of bourbon and i'm not a bourbon drinker i'm not even really a drinker great well that sounds like a really shitty reward that isn't it sounds like you're complaining about it and yes if you're going to ask i did look it up that bottles a hundred dollar bottle of bourbon and he's complaining and he's complaining about it well these people are loaded though Adam, they got all this money. You know, they got a bigger house than he does in the Hamptons. One for each kid, he saved.

It could have just been one bottle. There is going to be a second bottle. So let's talk about that. But it's the, uh, the Van Winkle. The old RIP, it says on the bottle. Oh, my God. It's a clue. He doesn't know that the name is old Rip Van Winkle.

He read that is rest in peace. The name is Rip Van Winkle, Opie. Shockingly clueless. This bottle that he claims is Carl Rowe's favorite when Carl was still with us is an $800 bottle of bourbon. And so Opie sees some value in this. Even though he doesn't drink bourbon, he doesn't really drink, at least this is worth something. You know, he could re-gift it or he could do something with it. There's some value there.

He doesn't really drink. He's lived next door to these people for a long time. maybe he's met him maybe he hasn't but they felt i know what this guy needs i know what he wants that's a good point let's get him this i'm thinking maybe they've seen him drunk once or twice out there yelling into his phone on the patio that's an interesting point because personally if someone came over with gifts for me i don't drink bourbon i'll drink a scotch if anyone's listening but i don't drink bourbon so i wouldn't i'd be like okay whatever i'll sort of the stuff people will come over whatever it's fine yeah but it's also a weird thing but i do not bring

and too high-quality, expensive bottles of liquor to somebody's house without asking if they drink first. Right. That's kind of... It's kind of odd, right? Just off the top of my head, yeah. Why give a $100 bottle and an $800 bottle? That's not good gift-giving. No. He was gifted a bottle of bourbon going back about five years, and he said, I'm not a big bourbon drinker.

I think that was the first bottle. I think it was bullshit. Oh, wow. I think he's holding on to that to make it seem like they were. more appreciative than they actually were. Yep. Because why would you give two bottles of bourbon? I know what you mean.

So far apart. Right. Yeah. It doesn't make a lot of sense. Like, here's a shitty bottle of wine and here's the best wine I have. Yep. Okay. I'll just take that one.

Yoink. Well, the guy's a big Opie and Anthony fan. He probably heard that bit on the air and it's fucking with him. Maybe. So Opie is completely ungrateful. And again, I stand by the fact that he knows she is going to see this. So there you go That's what you get if you save someone's daughter

You get two really nice bottles of bourbon And then I was like I was debating in my head like Well I mean this is nice and all But I don't really drink bourbon Can you get me something else

What a scumbag Yeah What a scumbag. Yeah. absolute piece of shit this man is you know saving someone's life should be its own reward i'm going to throw that out there that is that is very true not that i'm a life card but you know what i mean i was playing all sides of it he's like i would never say something like that to him but i would do him on the air yeah through all of you through this that they'll definitely see and the other

conclusion we came to and i was on drew show we were watching not only this saga but also the ac saga with fred is him and fred at this weird relationship fred's like you mad at me what's going on. So I know Fred's also watching this stuff too. Like all these people in his life he's telling them like, yeah, yeah, I do a stream every morning. It's on Opie Radio on YouTube. He's inviting them to watch this and he's passive aggressively communicating with them

through this stream and acting like, ah, I'm just telling you about my life. No, you're being a prick. It's a real problem. For some reason, I was in the Hamptons and my kid was drowning and Opie was there and offered to save them. I'd be like, we're good. I don't have to deal with this. I got other kids.

Just let the current do what it may. I'm not dealing with this for the next six months. I'll make another. What do we do today? A lot. We did it all. We talked about Howard Stern, maybe not resigning with Sirius. We had Jessica, Michelle Singleton on the show to discuss her time with Stuttering John in Vegas and being on Stephanie Miller with stuttering John.

Opie is mad jealous of Howard Stern. So you know what that means? It's time for everyone's favorite part of this show. The teaser. Next week's teaser. The teaser. The teaser. The teaser.

The teaser. The teaser. This is rare. No show on Saturday. The isotopes are opening for Joan Jett. It's a whole day fucking thing, apparently. Going to get down there early in the morning for some reason. Fucking professionals.

I'm not excited about it. It'll be fine. It'll be great. It's a good gig. It's a good gig. It's a cool festival we're doing. It's a three day festival. And we're a part of.

of it so that's gonna be fun yeah so no uh new episode on saturday of course these podcasts we'll make it up to you somehow some way how about that for a tease huh play some classic wATP maybe we will actually you know what i think i'm gonna do because this show's been going on for three and a half hours i'm going to cut this into two audio podcasts so there will be a new episode out in the weekend makes sense we did a marathon today just keep it going they can listen to us uh react to south park in an hour oh yeah south park's coming on soon that's a good idea um all right do we have any new reviews that we can read yes i have two for us this week right the first one comes in from green ash tray the title is see you in michigan

four years strong i would rather ride a bike with no seat and a flat tire than listen to this show sounds like a five-star review and the title makes it sound like a five-star yeah yeah i think it is Unless they're coming there to do bad things to you at the Michigan show. That's true. That's very possible. Skinny Chad situation maybe. That is, of course, very possible to have happen. But yeah, we sold out Michigan for the fourth year in a row.

See you guys at the Magic Bag on September 12th. Congratulations. Thank you. I'm sure it's going to be a great show. It will be. It was great last year. Thank you, Annie. The second one comes in from YB, and the title is Kmart is the perfect handle.

These non-horse riders need to stop exploiting. ladies and subhumans and learn how to throw a proper scramble golf tournament. That's five. Is that five? It's so confusing. That's five star. Oh, okay, great. Very good.

Well, thank you guys. Don't forget to review the show, wherever we can review shows and comment and like and subscribe. All those things, help the algorithm. And, of course, on Spotify, people are now commenting on individual episodes. And Megan, you get any comments from our Spotify? listeners. I do. I have two from last week's episode 643. The first one's from Joe, and it says, Is it Gay is Boring and Gay? Time for a new game. Wow. All right. So you're going to take

that to heart? We had a good run, guys. Yeah, we tried. We closed it up. We tried. The second one is It's fun creating stuff on the internet, isn't it? Where anyone could just comment on it, just shit all over you? It's good times. The next one is from King of Portugal And it's for Annie and I It says review girls This is not a review but I would love to hear one of you say Viva Portugal

Producer Chris of course My first choice is always you But you are busy being amazing This is getting stupid King of Portugal really wants to fuck you Fine It's out of control at this point just let it happen

Yeah Just let it happen That's your advice This guy's gonna get salted He doesn't want it He's not relaxed it won't work out one Yeah right Maybe I'll enjoy it

You don't know And I have a couple from episode 644 Let's see This one is from slow dancer I don't know what's worse Not being able to see Heather Nielsen's only

fans or finding kianus all right that was a wild episode last week on heather nil said who was what a reveal teaching guys not to look at porn or jerk off for six years and then goes oh you know i just touched myself but it's pretty fun i'm going to start of the only fans come on over here guys i'm not really have a porn addiction you want to try to do that on my channel six year old load to blow i was listening to that and i did not know how to feel like there was a part of me that was like thank you you're admitting you were wrong you're changing your opinion and you're doing some good but also you really did a lot of damage for the last six years to a lot of like vulnerable people that is messed up yeah and then she took full advantage

of those people by saying all right now you want to jerk off just give me 12 bucks a month and you can do it over here but then just like a batman villain said it all to us in like playing text very clearly like what she did and how she's taking advantage of it amazing all right you got one more for us sure let's see this is from gerund 32 great episode but I like it when they are longer that's what your wife said I love this show five stars you the man Carl and Adam

that was nice it's very sweet and yes this one was much much longer my wife's gonna hate it too long we have a couple of voicemails we're gonna go through and then we'll get out of here. But I appreciate all of you guys watching the program tonight. We had a good group. Where can we find? We don't have a lot of promotions.

I guess, Annie. Annie, do you have something you want to promote before we get out of here? Thank you. If you want to watch me stream once human tomorrow night, check out my YouTube channel, Insanity.com. Very good. And as I said, I'm doing a bonus show with Dick and Vinny and Johnny and Taylor. tomorrow called Weight Watchers

that'll be I think on the creep off channel I might pop it up on WATP's Patreon if you don't get upset if I do that but I might do that anyway we'll see we'll see what happens I guess I'm doing a show with Husey on Friday oh wow yeah so look out for that hello Carl

love you and the latest bonus episode wow I was initially disappointed to see Husey there but by the end of the show I really thought that Husey looked charismatic intelligent and funny. Just fuck me,

Gino Bisconti, what a retard. You know you fucked it when Quadfather of Shulay New fame is the one who checkmates you by pointing out

that it was Aaron who started all of this fucking mess and then Karmic X hadn't really seen him in such detail before. I know a previous

voicemarshall so he's making some points. I'm going to go ahead and say it. That guy, excuse me to fuck out, Chomo. I'm calling it

Chomo. It's either children or animals possibly both. And then finally, fuck me, J.T. movie reviews. What a mush-mouse, dent-headed fuck. I would rather listen to him describe the consistency of the fistful of shit he just fucked, as opposed to trying to mumble and fucking butt-uh, what's it, crutchworth his way through another nothing description. Jesus Christ.

But yeah, good in the end, and it just vindicates my choice to be voting for you at the creepoff.com every week. Thanks, mate. Vote for Carl at the creepoff.com, because Vinny's cheating and I need your help over there. But thank you, Boner Guy. That was a fantastic bonus episode we did with Husey and Lucy Typebox. So if you get on our Patreon or our YouTube channel, you can also check that out. Charlie was very mad at Shulie. Hey, Carl, it's Charlie.

For some reason, I hopped on to the Shulie show, which I never do. And I posted, why are you guys jumping on the Stephanie Miller back? manwagon that Carl has been talking about the last week or so, and they basically said, you know, go cry to Carl, blah, blah, blah, we can do whatever we want to do. It's kind of bizarre. I mean, you guys are making great content, and they're like, you know what? We can't come up with something original, so we're going to take his content. Anyway, big fan of what you do.

I think I left you a message a few weeks, months back. People in your show don't like me. I'm actually a really nice guy. Anyway, I do enjoy what you do. I'll send you a quick email as well. But I just thought it was funny. He said, go cry to Carl. Well, maybe you should go back to him and say,

I'm not going to say anything. You do what you want to do. Anyway, big fan. Have a good day. Thank you, Charlie. I did get your emails as well. Appreciate it. Well, he said it at the beginning of today's show,

maybe like two minutes in, take care. Yeah, Charlie was very upset that Chulie was stealing my content. He's also stolen Lucy Typebox. You can see on Thursdays on Shulis Network. So he's still covered with a lot of original ideas over there that, Chulie. Oh, this is. is someone talking about

Drew Lane complaining about taxes. Yo, this is bisexual. Oh, this is bisexual. Oh. Yeah. I love the W-A-T-P dime because you'll put anything on here. The niggas over at the boner line, a bunch of pussy-ass

niggas. Anyways, fuck Brandon. I just want to say that Drew came on your show. That motherfucker, multi-millionaire, his dad inherited money. He inherited money. and Drew Lane came out of complaining about having to pay 2% tax

if New York changes the laws in the city that's another millionaire complaining about fucking money hell fuck that bitch he inherited millions from his dad probably get the fuck out of here biaj Drew had earned a lot of money in his career but I do have to say thank you for your call

anyone who complains about someone complaining about paying taxes is retarded you should not be paying taxes It's all wasted money, and it sucks. And I don't know what he's talking about, honestly. I have no idea. Hey, Carl Kastay. Excuse me again.

The original Colin Day is about the only fans, Recovery Cotaur. What she failed to realize is the reason that masturbate is because we want a nut and be left alone. The reason men hire hookers is because we want a nut and be left to fuck alone. Right. Yeah, it's great having a wife and having sex occasionally. However, I don't want to fuck to talk to you afterwards. Leave me the fuck alone. Also, what's the link? Can you send that to me?

All right, thanks. All right. I always call me. The people put it in our Discord. People did find the leaked. Oh, immediately. The leaked dudes. Shots of Heather.

Just out of the only fan. So, I guess that gets out pretty easily. So, Carl, it's Arborist. I'm an episode behind, and I'm listening to y'all talk about everybody hating on Austin. Yeah, bro. Austin's kind of fucking. gay dude like

it's a gay I mean it kind of sucks with all the fucking transplants and shit and that's what happened for like a decade you know

and then Rogan transplants Annie transplants kind of fucked it up even more but on the flip side dude like that just kind of

fucking blows too you know like I will say like a lot of those people kind of making some points you know um Ercott sucks

dick um government kind of sucks. They want to ban marijuana or ban like the medical THG shit. The only good thing we have going is like the food, tacos, you know, corner flour, left or right hand, you know, and then the women, you know. We got some spicy Latinas. Okay.

So, see you. Well, thank you for your call. Keep telling us how much you like Texas on the WATP voicebandwide. Please don't do that. We don't care. Probably as you don't care. 45 seconds or less, you've got to remind people.

These are coming in a little lengthy here. You fucking dumb pieces of fucking shit. He truly don't remember where that old term ball washer came from. It's because you've been hanging out with that cock blocking, ball-licking, ass fucking podcast of the year. The Drew Lane Show. Yeah, Drew Lane always says that shit. because he's over 50 he's an old white guy and he got nothing better to fucking do

plus who the fuck else we want to do anything to that nigger yeah that's what you got ball washing motherfucker all right you know i bring up that i have a black friend and how things are getting wild over here i don't think drew came up with ball washing though i think he just repeats it yeah what's the origin we got to find out we got to find out the the origin of ball washing for sure people were speculating that has to do with uh golf ballwashing There is a ball washer when you play golf? There is a ball washer, yes. Bowling balls must have that too, then, right?

I don't know if they call it washing. I don't know. Oh, we have one more voicemail coming in. Oh, this anti-porn Christian bitch who's like telling all these guys to quit, masturbation and boring, and now she has his only fans. Go fuck yourself. Yeah, that's kind of the point of having an only fan. going to fuck yourself

is pretty good go fuck yourself today you've heard it it feels nice call me back it's good advice you know I should ask the great Adam Bush

do you have anything that you want to promote any project you have going on right now oh I do I just want to promote we got to give it up for Jessica Singleton

you guys don't know how hard it is to book someone who doesn't know this show because they just assume when they see this that they're going to be

the butt of a joke They have no idea that we're actually excited to hear their opinion. So we really have to thank her and support her and Nate Dixon over at Mosaic for making that happen and taking a risk. And I'm so glad that they did because it was a wonderful interview. Also, from the Simcast, you should check out Lisa Reynolds, who's a great political mind and Violet Brandani, who's there for all your pornographic needs. Yeah, she had a nice rack on her, I noticed. There's no way to sing it, yep. I didn't want to bring it up to her in the segment.

I thought that would sound sexist, but it seemed like she's doing pretty good over there. She is, yeah. all right well uh thank you very much adam for booking our guest today i mean i booked eroc so i'm also people like to say you know errant likes to say that everyone else has to do all the work over here i do a little bit of the work you got to get he was uh on fire i got to go bye i got to go i got to go i got to go i got to go i got I go. Bye. Okay, bye. Bye.

Bye. A plane has hit. I rewatched Carly. Boom. His mom. Boom. Boom. Okay, folks.

Guess what? The episode's over. That was a great episode. That was really great. Man, that was a good episode. That was a good episode. I enjoyed that. Okay, bye.

I'm not fat. I'm big boned. And South Park tonight, so you can get the reference that I make on the next episode. Carl South Park reference hamburger over here.