Who Are These Podcasts? - Ep661 - The Dan LeBatard Show with Stugotz

Episode Date: September 28, 2025

Dan LeBatard hosts what must the softest and most nonsensical sports talk show out there. What foods and smells remind you of your childhood? What’s the best way to throw a pocket knife? Which WNBA player is the most underrated? Here’s a question, when are you going to talk about sports? Trucker Andy joins the show to introduce us to a guy named Zas who is very passionate about the Dolphin’s alternate uniforms for some reason. Bonnie MacFarland goes on Story Wars and explains why she stopped podcasting with Rich Vos. StutJo calls Lucy trans to trans woman Ava Raiza. Opie does the thing all of us assumed he would be too smart to do, but he actually does it during the stream in order to win Matt’s love. Stuttering John has VTL on the show and sure enough, Vince breaks the rules they agreed to offline and John has a complete meltdown over it. We finish up with Internet News and your voicemails. Trucker Andy’s show - https://allapologiespodcast.com/  Support us, get bonus episodes, and watch live every Saturday and Wednesday: ⁠http://bit.ly/watp-patreon⁠ ⁠https://watp.supercast.tech/⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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I told them, and the strongest of words, to just do it. You see, this is a we just do it kind of show. Alicia's fishy flaps. Are you a boner guy? Oh, I was a boner guy. You know what? I missed penis. What are you talking about?

I'm the one who should apologize. Is it going to be absolutely riveting? Is it going to change your life by any stretch? Probably not, but it's going to be at least entertaining, okay? By the way, for those people that are in the back, remember to shut the fuck up. Maddie-o! Cuzz-a-roo. Kuzaro! Slapparoonie.

It's showtime. W. W.A.T.P. Hello, everybody's a Cousaroos. Welcome to on another website. The only show that has a tightly scripted format full of head nodding in agreements, right? Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. I'm your host, Carol, the $850,000 man with this week, a man you might have seen,

on the WATP of Milk Carton back in studio from the All Apologies podcast. It's Trucker Andy. Let's talk shit. And producer Chris is here as well. Hello. Please go to Who Are These.com. Get our email address,

voice number, link to our subordinate, like to our Discord server, link to our merchandise, link to our YouTube channel, and that link to Patreon and Supercast feature two exclusive bonus episodes. Every single month we'll be recording one this Tuesday, the 30th. It'll be living in the past with stuttering John, producer Chris. Jenny Jingles will be along. And we got to go back and listen to John's podcast from 2018.

But I think we're probably going to tease the podcast. that just came in from before that time that I have never heard. Oh, those people have never heard. Tammy Peskatelli. But he even did other shows with some other producer, and he was on podcast one. He was on this other network.

We got all sorts of stuff. He was getting around. Oh, it's very exciting. The number of people this man is tricked into working with him. Well, that's what's great about these episodes. If you're not on our YouTube channel or our Patreon, you've got to get on there and check out the series because John was so optimistic back then.

He thought, I mean, he'd just come off the, You know, Tonight Show and the Stephanie Miller show. What's next for me, world? What am I going to do now? He was going to figure out a phone system to take calls. Oh, yeah. He had it all figured out. Where will I get fired from next?

Yeah, so it's very fun how this all went down. We can look at it with 2020 hindsight and see how pathetic and what a loser he was back then. So I recommend checking that out. And you can find that on our Patreon.com slash who are these podcasts? Also, we encourage our listeners give us five stars where every review podcast, maybe Apple Podcasts, and then shit all over us in the comment section. Today, we'll be reviewing a show called The Dan Lebitard Show with Stugats.

This is a suggestion from John Semple as well as some others. We have all listened separately, not discussed it with the other beforehand. Let's get into a show that's hosted by ESPN, former ESPN employee, Dan Lebitard. And I got some notes from people. Here's a couple of the examples that I got. This used to be a top-notch sports show. Dan Lebitard definitely caught Howard Stern syndrome. Show has been unlistenable since at least 2022.

This is what John sent in to me. He said, I think you should do the Dan Lebitard show. I know it's a radio show, but it's ESPN's number one podcast to the point where ESPN gave him his own podcast network, Lebitard and Friends. That's not true. He left ESPN in 2021. It's a hacky-boring sports show that is also very PC. Thanks, give the good work. Thank you, John. Thanks for the suggestion. And I think when I'm listening to the show, and Andy, you pulled some clips of this as well, I don't think you're a sports talk show guy. I'm not, but fortunately

there's not a ton of it going out in the episode I listened to it. I know, there isn't a ton of sports talk anyway, so I figured it'd be fine for us. I used to be big into the sports talk and I realized like why Barstool became so popular so quickly when I listened to shows like this because for whatever

reason, all of these shows, especially ESPN, just started getting really PC and lame and like this is a show that's not for men, like men like sports. This is a show for children and pussies. It's bizarre, the shit they talk about on the show. It even starts off with this super corny song and this bit they have. This is yesterday's episode of the Dan Lottetard Show.

The ball is back, Jack. Oh, my, we've waited for so long. We're so damn excited that we put it in a song. Don't need no checkdowns. Give me big hits and quarterback. Keep your fantasy team from falling off the track. Football is back, jacked whether on the ground or through the air. I mean, what would Michael Rappaport say about this?

I obviously pulled this too because I didn't know if they featured it on every episode. I guess once football kicked off, they can't help but play this. And all I can say is it looks like they're having. fun. Holy shit. Hank the third perfected this, right? Why do we need a doddering old man doing it a worse version? This dude is fucking thing.

We were trying to shore that in. I remember Vinny came over to watch football with us, and he was appalled that we would sing and have fun. I think this is what he was seeing in his mind. Because we were singing about the bills. It does kind of look like you on the left there. And by the way, I cut it off there. This goes on uncomfortably long.

And football, we're at the end of September. Football's been back for over a month, and we're singing about football is back. Like, yeah, yeah, we're over that now. Like, hockey season's starting. You know, we're way beyond that. I don't understand. And these guys, if you're not watching, this old man is lip-sicking the song, and there's, like, choreography going on in the background.

People are, like, holding up footballs and dancing around with them. There's a guy playing air guitar. Poorly lip-syncing it, by the way. Very obviously, he's fucking it up. And, yeah, this is just goofiness. I think, like I said, they just wanted to do something fun, and this is for them, because it's not interesting to anyone else, I don't think. You know, actually, let's pull this up right now, because I want to, you know, Dan Lebitard is a guy that I'm very aware of. I remember when he was on ESPN radio.

I remember he had a TV show on ESPN. I had a lot of friends who were fans. I would watch it from time to time. I thought it was fine. And now that he's out on his own. So he's got 238,000 subscribers on his Levitart and Friends Network YouTube channel. And you look at these videos. And so these are the videos that he puts out aside from the daily show.

And you can see the most recent ones got 405 views. And he's got one with 10,000, 1.8,000, 1,800, 1,200, 2,200, 5,100. These are not good numbers for a channel with 23,000 subscribers. And even when you go to the live shows, so this is what they're doing every morning, they're averaging like 25,000, sometimes 30,000. views per show, which is great. I don't know that you can have a huge staff of people like they do. There's so many fucking people on the show.

They have the huge set and everything. It doesn't see. I mean, they have sponsorships. They've draft kings and stuff. So that's probably helping. But I just don't understand how you keep this afloat with such a small audience. And it's very localized. I can think of a couple guys that you could lose.

Yeah, I know. There's a lot of fucking weirdos that don't do anything on the show and are not funny or interesting. But it's also extremely localized. They're out of Miami and they talk Miami sports primarily. This seems like it's the bar stool to Boston for Miami. It's what they want it to be. No, it's for girls. Barstools for men. It's very different. Like, I get what you're saying as far as regionality is concerned. But all they care about is Florida-centric sports. So, I mean, if you're going to talk about weirdos that you, that you could lose, that are all in on Marlins baseball, my clip two, this is Jeremy, who insists on bringing his autistic

whiteboard with all of the mental gymnastics it's going to take to get the Marlins into the playoffs. And it is maddening. This is a bit of a saga, so stick with me here. But let's hear Jeremy. They set up to fucking saga. Play the clip. Jeremy, keep us up to date on, I thought yesterday would be catastrophic.

I thought losing 11-1 to the Phillies would eliminate them, but they are still somehow in it. Explain to me how that's so. That's right, Dan. So the Barlins are still in it based off all these permutations. The thing that you need to know first and foremost is the Marlins are going to need to go 4 and O to make the postseason. The moment they lose a game, whether that's tonight against the Phillies or any game against the Mets. If the Mets win today, the only thing the Marlins can. do is knock the Mets out because Arizona or Cincinnati could ultimately jump them.

So I just wanted for people who are listening to this, this whiteboard is completely full and he must have two dozen lines of different scenarios between different teams getting different wins and losses. And all of its moot, they're going to lose one of these games. Yeah. No one of this means anything. But if the Mets lose tonight and the Marlins sweep them, the Marlins would make the postseason over the Mets.

That is factually correct because of... Nothing else has to happen. If the Mets lose tonight and we sweep the Mets, we're in the playoffs? No. No, you need... Now it's the worst... No. Guys, this is not that competent.

Why would I have this giant whiteboard? That's all we needed to have happened, you be idiots. How can I make it any more clear? I'll see myself out. And Dan recognizes that Jeremy put so much hard work into this whiteboard. All right, let's hear them out, guys. Okay. That's where you get into the tiebreaker scenarios, and as you look through it...

All right, I think we're done with this. He's going to go to the 16 tiebreakers? We didn't get to the 16 tie break yet. What about the 16 time? Go ahead, Jeremy. Go ahead. Keep going. All it is is to say,

The 16 tiebreaker, I didn't have to finish it. Ultimately, that would go to the Marlins as well. They would have the best head record against the other five teams combined. And when you look at it, the 13 tiebreakers, the Marlins would quench every single one of them. Unless it was the Marlins and the Reds. Jesus Christ. That's how I felt when Moody was doing his presentation on this little piggy. And everyone's ragged on him.

You put a lot of work into this, guys. Let's hear about the squalgerization of the Davalverse. Come on. The last clip of this, they finally move on to some actual sports talk where they're talking about maybe like the best catcher in Florida history or something like that. And you'd think they'd move on, but. But I think Jeremy does have an update on my traditional sports radio topic. We kick it out to Jeremy.

Well, ultimately, look, the peak of Cowrally in doing this as a catcher behind the plate, the craziest part about getting to potentially 60 home runs is just the wear and tear that comes with it because to be able to produce that type of power on the flip side Buster Posey showing up every day and hitting about 3.30 as he was such a tremendous defensive catcher in the middle of an order that didn't have quite as much protection. The peak of their powers, it's really hard to argue one way or another. But I do want to get back to something that Chris was questioning because all that needs to happen is that the diamond backs and the...

Brother, you're doing this wrong. Best FSU catcher of all time. Thank you. Thank you, Mike Ryan Ruiz, for getting it back on track on that. Jeremy is why I hate sports talk radio, by the way. Yeah, I get that. It's making it unfun. Yeah.

Hey, remember all that shit you hated in school? Let's turn sports into that. No, please not. I want to have a little package for you now, Andy, talking about how wild our buddy Dan Lepitart is. I mean, this guy is just off the rails. Before I get to Tua and Cam, Roy, who was our Hampton Farms winner, the nuttiest fan of the week? I'm embarrassed by a couple of things here.

I don't know if this is happening to you guys. I'm legitimately embarrassed by this. I have peanut shells all over the floor of my car because I have been... In the car, Dan? That's on you. That's a wild. I know. I know.

Stoplight, just like... That is opulence. How often you get your car washed? That is a man that gets it washed daily. not daily but i have you can go out there you can take a camera out there and you will see in the passenger seat that there is that there are you will see that there are some peanut shells i've cleaned it up i actually had to get up this is the richest shit you've ever done listen i somebody had somebody has video or a photograph of me and a stop like getting out of the car and brushing

the skins and the shells getting out of the car like standing up and getting out of the car at a red light. Yeah, speaking of guys, you can get rid of on the show. So these two chuckle fox are sitting over here. I'll mute this, but just look at their reaction to him saying he got out and brushed the peanut shells off of his shirt. Look at these two guys. Wow.

What? The one guy looks at the other guy. Is this real? Is this actually happening right now? What? This happened? I watched white t-shirt guy pretend he was eating peanuts while he's telling the story. What is this?

Good Pud? Fuck you, dude. This sucks so bad. So that is his crazy story about how there's possibly peanut shells on the floor of his car. You're right. Those for chicks. Right. Because these are, so then it gets into, he loves to put polls up.

He's constantly very Zumaki and putting polls up for the listeners to go vote on. I want to put a couple of things on the poll here at Lebitard show. This is something I literally hadn't thought of since childhood. Do you feel genuine delight when your peanut-shelled peanut has three peanuts in it, and you can tell from outside? Oh, that's one of the great feelings. It's like that and finding a 20 in your pocket. And do you feel ripped off if you get a peanut that's hard to crack that only has one peanut in it? I legitimately, what I'm doing there, because I have not eaten peanuts this way

since the first time I was in Yankee Stadium, which is one of my most magical childhood memories. Carl's mad, his time is being wasted. He's sitting here with his arms folded, mad that we're sitting through this conversation. I know. I can't believe this guy's too soft for ESPN. I think ESPN's just like, Jesus Christ, get a little bit of edge to this. Is he literally setting up the time? Topic of do you like having a three-chambered peanuts? Well, the topic was, do you get delighted out of knowing that it's three from the outside?

He goes deep with this shit. I mean, we, you know, Jack Tober's coming up, and we have to listen to some fucking nonsense. Let's go to the phones. What do you guys think about candy corn? I mean, this is worse than that somehow. We're going to put up a pole. That's insane. And do you get upset?

I mean, you're leading the witness. Do you get upset when it's hard to open a peanut? I do now. Not really. It doesn't really change my day. This topic is to meditate on what you're going to bring to the show as a talking point. Yeah. And it be how many peanuts are inside the peanut show is depressing.

It's sad that that is what you landed on. This is one of the first things they talked about on Friday morning show. This makes the episode that I watched seem like Citizen Kane. Well, Andy, strap in, buddy. It gets worse. They continue talking about. these uh peanuts and why dan has this affinity for eating peanuts because it goes back to his childhood and at yankee stadium i'm discovering that i can eat peanuts and just throw shells on the floor

that that that is just it look at roy what are you rubbing your hands together you're you're delighting at the stand no i'm waiting for the punchline dan you know what it is what is the punchline that i was 46 years old yes yeah yeah fuck everyone is involved here. I'm so mad at everyone. So the token black guy has the hockey show because of course he does and he just wants Dan to do the obvious joke and then when he does he claps. Wee!

That's a good joke. Good job, buddy. How many fucking people are on mic on this show? Too many is the answer. You might have noticed whenever I do these shows. I always write down the hosts and the co-hosts and I read through them to give everyone some context. I have no idea and I cannot be bothered to learn them.

I don't give a fuck. does not matter so this is that guy when he goes you can even take a photo of my car you'll see peanut shells you notice that guy took his headphones off and ran out thank god he did because then he comes back and uh this guy has the evidence uh i did just go check out dan's car i think we have a photo of it and i can't confirm peanut shells are in that car um somehow first off this is a very clean floorboard. Yeah. I mean, or seat or whatever that is.

And the guy goes, wow! Can you believe that? Yeah, he just said that was there. There's a lot of two bears, one cave. Yeah. Laughing off-mike bullshit happening on this. But he literally said, yeah, yeah, I was making a mess in my car eating peanuts.

And then the guy goes, hey, check this out. Evidence he was making mess in this car. He's busted. Was there an old French fry in there, too? It cares. Somehow, not the strangest thing on his car floor. There are four huge jugs of distilled water. I don't know what that's about.

That was actually more strange to me than the peanut shells. Oh, boy, I bet that's a story. It's so fucking dumb. This is not interesting for anyone, the fact that they're, like, making a big deal out of this. And so then the topic gets opened up. What about other people? I bet you remember things from childhood, things you used to taste when you were a child of, that bring back fond memories.

That's what this whole story is about. Yankee Stadium and eating shelled peanuts for the first time. And so let's go around the room with that topic. You have stuff that tastes like childhood. Stuff that tastes better because it's not just that you're eating something, but you're eating something that comes with memory.

Certainly you guys can answer that question for me. There must be smells for you from childhood cooking that you recognize as well. Smells for sure. Dunkeroo's. Those take me back. Do any of the rest of you have a child? A childhood meal or childhood food that tastes a little better in adulthood because it's reminding you of something. Peanuts are one of the few.

I'm telling you, I probably haven't had crack shell peanuts in about 40 years. My God. There's no way to live, man. I love that you got nothing for the dunkeroo. He's like, okay, whatever, that was stupid. So because I set this up saying I'm familiar with sports talk, and I used to listen to it a lot, what's happening right here is what happens during the All-Star break, because it's mid-July, there's no sports on, there's nothing to talk about, and they just get off on like, hey, remember eating peanuts at Yankee

Stadium? I like Dunker Roo's. Cool. This is literally, we're in the middle of football season. Major League Baseball playoffs are starting up next week. We have preseason hockey, preseason basketball. There's so much shit to talk about on a sports show. And this asshole is asking around the room what candy people liked when they were children.

Yeah, he is literally. going around the room. Yeah. And then it goes over to Roy, the hockey guy, and he chimes in with this. And then this is a brutal segue out of this conversation. My dad's ribs. Those barbecue ribs are awesome. And the smell of charcoal, like, brings me back to eating that.

Let's go ahead and play this sound of Cam Newton here talking about Tua before we get to some of the other stuff going on locally. A lot of people are talking about Tua now. There you go. The guy's like, I like ribs. Because he asked that question. And then he shuts it down immediately. All right, let's listen to Cam Newton and talk about too well. Right.

Sports stuff. I thought Dan was going to put a recipe up. Good. Fucking J.T. is not understanding the showman of our show. He says Nestle crunch was my favorite. That's not what we're doing here, J.T. We're not chiving with our favorite foods from childhood. We're not putting a pole up.

All right. I'll put a pole up. Nobody even wants to run until the Davidel bid about, oh, cotton candy. reminds me the first time I got laid by the bearded lady. I still remember the feel of her beard. Right. It's like nobody could come up with something like that. No, these people are boring as fuck.

They suck so bad. They suck the life out of my morning. I'm still recovering, as you can tell. Andy, cheer me up. What do you got? I don't think I'm going to cheer you up with what's coming next. Because in clip five, we get introduced to this fucking idiot zaz. Was he on your episode?

No. Oh, you're lucky. You got the black guy. He wasn't on my episode. I got this imbecile who is going to be mad about that things are changing with the dolphins' uniforms. I want to talk about very briefly the uniforms that the dolphins are going to be wearing. This is for chicks. Yes.

This is for chicks. When the bills announce whatever their new uniform is or whatever, the only text I got about that were from women. Okay. And I think I said, I hate it. I don't want to talk about it. It cares. on Monday night. Monday night is an apocalypse. The dolphins and the jets are playing Monday night football.

And these uniforms are really good-looking uniforms. They're just not in any way dolphin uniforms. It's horrible. I'm embarrassed. I can't believe how negative this office has been on these uniforms. I thought it was going to be a consensus. These look cool. And everybody around here hates these.

They may look cool, but they're not the dolphins. Like, that's not the dolphins' colors. That's not their uniform. But on top of it, you know what aggravates me? And maybe some other fans, too, is there is a consensus out there of, I would guess, to say, 100% of the fan base would like them to wear a specific uniform, and they refuse to go back to it. Old school one. And you're, of course.

Oh, God. Imagine being this passionate by that. He was outraged. And Miami uniforms have always sucked. They've always been hideous. So to long for an even gayer version of the uniform is embarrassing. Just shut up. Who cares?

Wouldn't it be an amazing take if you're like, look at their 0 and 3? I hope they show up against the Jets and get this season fucking turned around. That's the take. These are sports talk guys. They're not our colors. I like it. Well, we can get into the polling portion of my episode, which revolves around. the not since soft shell

flour versus hard shell corn has such a hot topic been debated about not hard shell corn Andy corn tortillas not the fried kind here we are missing the entire argument that I'm making here we go although fanning the flames although hard shell corn tacos are also superior to flour tortillas yeah most things are thank you you were saying any there's a big poll going on

How do you throw a combat knife at the wall? How many throws would it take you to throw a knife at a wall and get it to stick a thing? A hunting knife, those are sharp. You're doing it first try, Tony? Yeah, I'm doing it first try, of course. You feel like you're going to, the handle's going to just hit the wall. I'm just like, you got to throw a blade. You don't throw it by the handle.

You hold the blade first. Yeah, you go by the blade. No. That can't be how you do it. You throw it by the blade first, so it has the rotation. When you throw an axe, you don't hold the axe by the blade. What are you talking about? It's different, though.

I think he might be right, though. Thank you. Yeah, sure. I think. Put it on the poll at Lebitard show. In order to embed a hunting knife in the wall, do you throw it by the blade? Not a single housewife is going to know the answer to that. If you said put that in the poll, I would be like, are you serious?

That's what you want the poll to be? Yeah. Can you just look it up on chat, GPT? How am I supposed to answer that? Well, shockingly enough, Carl, they do end up looking it up. Of course. But this is in Clip 7. The great debate continues.

Okay. There's more surface area on the blade of a knife than there is an axe. Okay. Where are you getting this knowledge from? I don't... It depends the size of the knife. I think he's right. Because you believe what he says because he just says it with confidence.

Damn, this is a... You have to do it in a hurry. You're going to a little bit of a cheap situation. That's very dangerous. The rotations matter. What if I throw from three inches further back, then that would be like half a rotation. And then the blade... You can fix that by throwing it faster.

Well, and this is very important. Do you throw the blade overhand Or it's like you take on it Who does that? Underhand is a... Oh, I can do that. You don't have the same juice underhand. You got to go overhand.

That's how you get cut. I'll decide how much juice I have. Underhand. Yeah, underhand's weak. No, you can do underhand. You'll know about that, Dan. You know about that. You're Jenny Finch what I'm doing here?

I do like Gambit. That's how you get them. Oh, yours is sideways. Yeah. Like Gambit. You put your arm up. I don't see what you do. No one throws a knife like a frisbee.

That's dynamite. I'm still throwing a blade. Not like a frisbee. Like Gambit throws playing cards. What are you throwing a boomeret? You're not getting anyone like that. That's what I'm saying. Zaz knows.

Like Alex Gonzalez. I've already stabbed you in the heart. Hell yeah. Zal is turning to. What if you throw it, did you stab him? I got lots of blades in my punch. You guys are not noticing. Everyone's talking and no one's noticing that Zaz is providing a sound effect

with his underhand blade throw that kills you while you're talking. You're giving opinions and he's going left-handed. You're not expecting it in any way. We're just watching the show? Everyone else is coming ahead to overhanded. They're telegraphing what they're doing. He's doing a sneaky style. But he keeps missing us.

That's the problem. Jesus Christ. All right. Do these guys think they're killing it? When they get done with a segment like that, are they just like, that was a good segment? This is the best part of this show, by the way. It's going to get worse.

Oh, I know. I have more clips. But producer Chris, just deflated. Is there more to us, Andy? Well, there is. I have a poll if you want to, or less you're still going. Why don't you pivot into another topic? Okay, yes.

Here's another poll that they put out. I think this is a really important conversation that they're having. Now, they're talking about the head coach of the Arizona Cardinals. Surprisingly, there was a football game Thursday night. They actually watched and talked about for a little bit. Yeah, I watched that too. Cool. Let's talk about that.

I want to talk about him for a second because I don't believe there's a more stoic coach in the league. every time they go to a camera angle on him. And the truck is saying this is a situation to go to the Arizona coach to see his reaction. He looks exactly the same way. So put this on the poll, please, Juju, at Lebitard Show. And I'm bummed that Zaz isn't here today because he's been waiting for this question all his life. Now I have to the context of Zaz. Let's hear the question that Zaz can't wait for.

Dan's in love with Zaz. I feel like he thinks that Zaz is his sense of humor. He needs him there to be funny, and it's just whatever, he sucks. At Lebitard Show, would you respect Jonathan Gannon more if he went by John? So the question is, should a guy named Jonathan go by John? And if he did, would you respect him more? That's a fucking giant waste of time. They were actually talking about a football game that happened.

They came down to the final drive. There's a nice comeback by Arizona late in the fourth. quarter and they're talking about don't you think Jonathan should be John? Would you like that better? What do you respect more? Johnny, John, or Jonathan? I swear to God, they get into that exact conversation. Listen to this.

Jonathan, I believe you are a lesser athlete in sports that we will respect less if you go by Jonathan instead of John. If I give you him as John Gannon, you would think that he's got more control over his team. No doubt. That's an action movie, so I'm building a franchise around John Gannon. But not Jonathan.

No, Jonathan Gannon. Why does he go by Jonathan? That is a bad move. You should be worried about this coach just because John Gannon's right there for him. Yeah. What about Johnny? Johnny Gannon, fine. I like Johnny Gannon's cool.

It's unbelievable. You know what's reminding me of was the MD Foodie Boys? Yeah. You know, those kids from Maryland who just sit around and talk about how, you went to tacos they like better, stuff like that? And they really analyze it and have like an actual conversation about it. Like it's important. Like these assholes are all going, yeah, would Johnny be better than Jonathan?

I think it would be. Get it on the fucking poll. Let's find out. At least those kids weren't talking over each other and one off mic going. Yeah, yeah. They were talking about a lot of childish shit like these idiots are. I can't imagine that an adult would care about this. But then Dave Damasek works at the NFL Network.

Used to be a regular on Adam Carolla show. I'm very familiar with Dave. I think he's funny. But he comes in and he's been paying attention. So he gets in on the action of this name talk. It's a good question, Daniel. Are we going with Daniel now? We're going full names.

I went with Danny through college. My byline in college was Danny. Danny Lebutton. He's the only one who calls me Danny because that was my byline in college. Why did you change it? To be more mature. Because Billy. Oh, get out of you.

I didn't change my name. I know. You remained Billy to be not more mature. Can I tell you something? I am William David, Damashek, and my parents saw fit to go with David. But I contend that, see, Billy did it. Exactly right. He's Billy as a grown man now.

And when you get into the teen years, you feel like, I want to be more mature and I want to be like a grownup. And so then you go Bill. And that's not now things are all out of whack. Fuck you, Dave Damashag. Fuck you. He works for the NFL network. He's on there to talk NFL. And he's talking about how he wishes his name was Billy.

They're playing into this. It's so annoying and it continues on. Jim, if it were Jim Kimmel, he would not be a late-night host right now. The fact that he is Jimmy is a defining sort of, it colors in who he is before you even see him, right? Jimmy, you know he's a grown man, he's fun. Yeah, John Carson, totally different guy. What would have been James Corden. Holy shit.

I don't even want to watch football. They have to have done, dude. They all have to keep it going for some reason. On top of that, they all feel a need. It's like, just move on. All right. They think they're doing a bit. They think it's funny.

Jim Kimmel. Okay. Got it. Anyway, what did you think about how Arizona came back in the fourth corner? They think they couldn't move the ball and Marvin Harrison Jr. is out of it. Can we get back into actual sports talk here? And I did win my bet, by the way. I found out my bookie is still paying attention.

He just sent me money. It was very happy yesterday morning. Because I was like, I still worked with a bookie, which is weird in 2025. There's no reason to do that. But I like him. Yeah. And, you know, we can text and Venmo and stuff like that. So just it's, I don't know, I think it's easier for me.

So you fix your Venmo too? And I've been up, well, I don't know what I'm talking about that. I've been up for a while and just kind of like, whatever, just leaving it there. And then just like, send me a bunch of money. I was like, oh, that's good news. You guys still paying attention. Thanks. I've got to be his only client.

Right. Everyone's just on Draft Kings and shit. I got to be his only client left. Andy, what do you got next? I have to agree that the more we watch of this, the more it is for women, especially when we get into this final segment of my clip package where they introduce Roz onto the show. Did you have Roz on your episode? Nope. who lucky you because let's

out of all of the people that have ever watched the movie seven or big trouble little china that have seen somebody throw a knife let's ask a woman that has no idea what the fuck she's talking about how would you throw a hunting knife it comes from the stomach it's a gut thing I need you to elaborate and I need you to what do you mean by that

you're going with a stabbing you're going you're doing a stabbing she's doing it straight from the stomach I want to embed it in a wall all across from me. How do I throw it? How do I hold it? What's the correct point for the gambit technique?

It's like breathing. You know, you've got to breathe out of the stomach, and it's like most athletic motions come out of the knees. I don't know. It's walking us through the whole process. It's like breathing, Dan.

It's like breathing. I'm trying for life. Look, it's not coming from the core. You got to breathe. You don't throw a hundred. The process starts there. From the core and the knees. Don't forget to keep your knees down.

Just say you don't know. You could it be more wrong about everything? Women don't know that phrase. My first appearance on the show would be my last because I'd go, who cares? Can I talk about something I'm an expert in? Because that's why I'm on the show. Fuck you. Fuck you.

You're cool. And Roz now goes on to WNBA talk. This is where I realize this is definitely for women because nobody else out of all the army of people in this room have zero opinions about what she's talking about with the WNBA, specifically Asia Wilson. So she's going on and on about Asia Wilson's underrated credibility of the WNBA. And it's so boring that they just start showing knife-throwing tutorials over her talking. Interesting.

Okay. Let's check with YouTube, Jeremy, and get back to me. Oh, I have. I'm a master now. I've watched two YouTube videos, and I know exactly how this is done. So you want to be... Also, Lewis confirmed that Tony's right. So according to two masters of the internet on YouTube,

you want to be throwing this from the handle. So if you have an actual throwing knife, you want to be throwing from the handle, it's balanced in weight. That's wrong. That's wrong. I'm going to tell you where Jeremy's wrong already. He said throwing knife.

I don't care about throwing knives. That's a totally different thing. I'm talking about a hunting knife. Say you have a kitchen knife or a hunting knife. You can stop it in your car because it does go out way too long. But you were right. there's a clip 11 there that where she starts going on about asia wilson right now you can argue she's the best player of this generation for sure right now given her resume um does her um

notoriety match that i think asia's a star like she's got all the things right now you know she's she's got her family she's got her man van out of bio she's got her signature sneaker she's got a statue She's got her candle She's got a book You know, she's out there You stupid fucking blood a mouth cut I've never heard the list of accomplishments Being a statue and then a candle

Exactly Nothing about stats No videos of highlights of this person Killing it on the court Oh she has a boyfriend and a book Wow Yeah right Who gives a shit

And it gets even worse because in Clip 12 here They are so hard pressed to find something impressive about the WNBA because it's not the gameplay, it's not the fucking points, it's not the turnout of people watching. How big are the people

in the WNBA's social media following? And this is where the knife clip comes into. The list of biggest social media followings, Asia's not in the top five, I don't believe. I know she's in the top 10, but oftentimes you'll see like the biggest stars in the world often have the biggest followings.

Right now that's being reserved. for Angel Reese, by far, has the biggest social media following of WNBA players. After that, it's Caitlin Clark. Then it's Paige Becker. So it's this new generation of girls. I think Sabrina Onescu's right there, Skylar Diggins, they're around like one million something. And your pages and your Caitlin's are around like closer to three million or two point five or three. And angels up around five million.

I hate this fucking show. Yeah. So if you're just listening, they just have popped in somebody throwing a knife at the wall because it's more interesting than the social media following of people in the WNBA that this woman won't shut the fuck up about. I mean, who would possibly want to listen to this or watch this? Actually, I was showing the stats before and trying to say like, oh, there's only 25,000 people watching these shows. That's 25,000 too many. Yeah. Are they buying views like Opie?

It doesn't even make sense that they was watching this shit. What is Dan doing? This is terrible. There's also these commercial breaks. This happened during the episode you watch where it just goes silent. Yeah. And they just show stills of like merchandise you can buy. Yep.

It's very awkward. There's not even a music bat or anything. I was happy because I could scrub further in. I was like, oh, it's not as long as I thought it was. Thank God. I agree with that. So that happens. And they come out of that.

And I think this is a promo for another show on the network. I'm not even sure. All right, guys. We really need to sell this episode because Dan C. these things. So let's do it. Today, we talk about my top 10 white, my top 10 white sauces of all time. Good number one.

Flentes is super happy today. I am. So far, Dan's like, yeah, this is going to be a great episode. I'm really glad we recorded this promo episode. Tony, the kook meter is going here. The kook meter was rising on the Dark Force three. We just talked about dark force hypothesis. It's not shoe tying.

Bunny. I've got the quickest gun in the West when it comes to shoot time. I got to admit. No one's disturbing. Yeah, but no one's debating that. I don't know. He was thinking about the white sauce. Sorry, Dan. Skinner, what is going on here?

I have no idea what anyone is talking about. This just comes out of nowhere. There's no context for it. What you saw is what I saw. And am I supposed to go watch these losers? Why are there so many of them? Does anyone have a point or an interesting thing to say? Who are those women that showed up?

And how are there even 10 white sauces that are your favorite? Why are the top five? come what are you talking about dude it's so stupid they're all trying to get their non sequiters in so i don't understand what that it was all about and then at a certain point dan lebitard's dad shows up and they just have a camera on him in the kitchen and he's making coffee and then he's talking about him later on show i don't know why my father just simply refused to come in here and is now having coffee in the other room with frankie i don't know he just does whatever he wants to i've never been able to control which ones is dad

I really hope they're losing a ton of money on this production. Because if this is profitable, that's insane. I do recognize this guy now. And as somebody that's not watching a lot of sports talk, wasn't he on that round table around the horn thing with this guy? That's not what he's known for, but it's possible. It's possible he was out around the horn a few times. Yeah, actually, no, Dan Levitabertar was definitely on around the horn.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He was one of the guys that would go on there because they had rotating. and you would truck out his dad oh he would yeah that's that's why I remembered that because I remember this old fuck they insist on showing

let's wrap things up what else you got on here I think clip 13 is that one where Dan melts down over the fucking knife throwing talk it finally goes too far yeah all right I told him to give some juice

don't do this to Pat Riley oh my god what do you throw up by the blade. Throw it by the blade. Dan, I don't want to do this. Look, there's two marks.

I don't know why I keep getting them there. This is dangerous. You can stop doing that at any point. Yes. Someone should stop this. You mentioned that. Let's stop it right now. I don't want to do this anymore.

I want to get to Ray Hudson. I'd like some people to produce our show, please. Get toward the microphones. Get toward the places where you can help me do a show. Stop being children. Is the problem because it's Pat Riley? Because we can make it Richard Gere. Please, please allow me to do something that hosts the show that isn't monkeys throwing feces the entire time.

Thank you. You guys are so busy with your self-consumption that you didn't even hear Zaslow's Crocodile Dundee impersonation. I was pissed because I was going to do that. Not a one of you heard. It was good, right? I was pissed off because everyone had passing knives, I was go, that's not an oaf. That's not a knife. this knife.

Finally, Dan just said what I was thinking. And then he stopped by, he said, guys, listen to Zaz. He's hilarious. So that ruined all that. But finally, he's just like, you guys are right to the children. Could we get out in the microphones

and do a fucking show? They got so excited. They're all throwing things. E, look at us. We're playing. Yeah. It did look like four kids at home, and then mom comes home early

from work, and they're like, oh, we're not supposed to be throwing kitchen knives into the wall. How's the chores list doing, boys? It's flipping the lights on and off. Yeah, right. Exactly. All right, anything else you want to play on here?

Fuck, no. You're ready to move on? Yes. All right. Well. TD Bank knows that running a small business is a journey, from startup to growing and managing your business. That's why they have a dedicated small business advice hub on their website.

To provide tips and insights on business banking to entrepreneurs, no matter the stage of business you're in, visit td.com slash small business advice to find out more or to match with a TD small business banking account manager i saw uh j t or someone in the chat was uh talking about how we should have been playing this all on what is this garbage how do they have a podcast this is bullshit and that of course is uh bonnie mcfarland Bonnie the wife of rich boss and she was recently on a show where she was asked about her podcast, my wife hates me.

And she no longer does that podcast. And she explains why, this came in from William, thanks for sending this end. She explains why she no longer does the podcast. My wife hates me with her husband, Rich Voss. I don't do my podcast anymore.

Rich and I stuff doing it. We're trying to like... Go back to giving the finger to strangers. Yeah. I should imagine this is Story Wars. You got Big Jay and the Puerto Rican rattlesnack here. Go back to our roots where we like

You gotta go grassroots. Film that. Yeah. You stopped doing the podcast? We stopped doing the podcast. Officially. Yeah, because it was,

people would always be like, is it helping your marriage? And it was, no, it really didn't. It was just like you just had to think of all week like something that really bothered you. And then,

okay, I had to think of something of that really bothered. Did you guys only talk about bad stuff on air? Well, I mean, Rich just loved to list

places that he'd been that week, he'd be like, oh, I went to Home Depot. You know what I mean? So then you had to be like, then I had to start a fight to get something. Because he only reacts. He only has energy to defend himself. Do you know what I'm saying? Sure.

So it got, yeah, it was unhealthy. Well. Good plugs, Bond. Yeah. K.P. Well done, Jay. Yeah, so basically, Rich put zero effort into it and was impossible to podcast with, which I recognize when we reviewed the show, but Bonnie was a trooper

and really tried to make a, so I went to home depot. I always have to ask the guy where the chef is, even though it's labeled. I can't find it. Good stuff, Rich. Thanks. I was golf today. You were snoring last night. Yeah. It's like fucking not the point of the show to talk about your mundane day-to-day life. But thank you, Bonnie, for explaining that to us. Now we know. Now we know the rest of the story. All right. We're moving. quick today. I did have a cringe of the week. Oh, good. Me too. Okay. You do yours first. Let's go. Pringe of the week. Cringe of the week. So I saw this on Reddit, and I wasn't sure if you would pull it or not, but Stuttering John was having a conversation with Ava Raza. Ah, Ava. Ava Raza.

Pardon me. And the subject of Lucy comes up from the chat. I think I might have seen that. John has a fucking hot take to the wrong person. I'm going to see this. This is funny. JFK, Headshung, thanks for the two books. Have you rub one out to Lucy Tightbox? No. You're wrong on that one.

She's hot. Is she trans? No. Some people are trying to say that. And I'm like, it wouldn't matter to me. Right, right, yeah, yeah. It wouldn't matter. I still rub one out to her.

Either way. I thought there's anything wrong with that. He caught himself, too. He was trying to call her out. I was like, no, that's me. Yeah. Is she a freak like you? I mean, oh, shit.

There's no the wrong with freaks like you. I would never jerk off to somebody disgusting like that. Oh, that's fucking funny. Fucking idiot. Well, I have a cringe of the week, and this one came in from Nico like a month ago, and I just never got to it. And I meant to because I remember listening to it when it was happening. This is from the Blind Mike show.

And Blind Mike is watching Steeltoe. And Aaron's trying to say he does a lot. know who blind Mike is and at the same time saying this guy sucks and he has no talent and so Mike's trying to get set up for a joke about that and he asked Craig to help him out and Craig is uh zero help on this my send that's an important part hold on go back to the beginning Casey because yeah keep in mind this is a man who doesn't know who I am right yeah yeah like so why would you already like ask me about someone I've never heard of uh I've Have you ever heard of

uh, uh, Bill Simmons? Yes. Yeah. What about, uh,

James Monroe? Yes. No. He's not doing this kid. Mike, Mike, have you heard of? Casey,

give me a name I've never heard of. Abadocs Blitzkrieg. Sounds like a fucking asshole. Sounds like a, It sounds like a real piece of shit. No, I never heard of him. But he sounds like a fucking lying scumbag is what he sounds like. James Monroe.

I had a chance. I had a chance with that one. Abraham Lincoln. Go. Fucking idiot. I mean, great, great job, Craig. Always fun. When you had the show.

All right. I got to talk about my buddy the opster. I'm the man For the man for the man For the man I'm becoming fascinated By the relationships that Opie has with these other men

That he podcasts with It's very strange The way he interacts with Of course Matt, the owner of Gepphard's and then you got Ron the waiter and then you got a couple of these other guys that just kind of hang around you hear about them from time to time

Chris Ferretti the Trump impression guy Scott Watson is always lurking around he's the guy who's really into Trump and has the Trump sneakers and always wearing shirts that are real Republican-y and stuff and I have a feeling

none of these guys hang out with each other Opie is the nucleus of this If Opie's there, they're there. Because I don't think any of these guys get along with each other. And they all have weird relationships with Opie, and Opie has weird relationships with them. So I'm just fascinated by this whole thing, especially when you think about how Opie had that weekend guys get away with his older friends. This gets brought up again when he's over at Gebhard's just this past week. So it starts off introducing these guys.

And I think it's funny that Opie's not sold on Chris Furrude. ready yet. He lets him know that in very plain terms. Barbara Ann. There we are. Good afternoon, everybody. Welcome to our live stream. We are live at Gep Ha'i. This is my friend Matt, who owns Gep Hart's on the Upper West Side here in New York City. That's my newer friend. I go like this, newer friend. Yeah, we're also, we're still deciding if he's part of our crew. It's comedian Chris Ferretti from Jersey. What is going on? What's that everyone? And then we got Scott Watson, I would show you him.

Polk your head at Scott, but if I move my Macbook, the camera might fall, so we can't do that. All right, so remember, Opie was doing a stream with Ron the waiter, who goes, are you going to get hard tomorrow? I don't know, I don't know. He asked him multiple times.

Opie wouldn't commit. Now, here he is, and you can see who he picks. So, Matt's, his guy. Chris is auditioning. And then you have Scott over there. off camera you can't see him but he's there they can talk to him if they want to and stuff so he's kind of a part of it right no ron the waiter in sight he'll be there don't worry it's coming but uh for now we don't see ron did you notice the shirt that i was just gonna point that out is that an iron smoke shirt it is an iron smoke whiskey shirt owned by our buddy timmy brunette

and uh i wonder if that is a whee's thing i know that weez's son does opi's merchandise or at least was doing opi's merchandise so i don't know if maybe that's the connection there, but yes, it's a Rochester whiskey brand that we're all very fond of. All right, so they're in Manhattan, and so anything can happen because they're hanging out in this bar and the windows are open. It's just the street behind them, upper west side. And what's great about these guys is they get distracted by everything. I think that's really good for a show to have a lot of distractions going out of the background.

But I'll just say that. Oh, damn, what's going on? Oh, man, we got a, we got a car being pulled over as we speak. You're getting everybody. If they're getting me, they're getting everybody. So you were going 100 miles an hour in a school zone with Millie and auto and and Auto and Jen. And Jim.

Oh, your whole family. The whole famed family was there. That's what got me out of the ticket, though, I think. Millie was in the back, like smiling all pretty and flirt with the officer. Oh, my God. The NYPD is. Oh, my God. Keep moving, man.

Keep moving. The NYPD is not messing around. a guy is getting pulled over on the street, and they're like mesmerized. Whoa. Whoa. Look at that. He's got his flashy lights out of everything. Something remotely interesting is happening out here.

Certainly not in here. No, nothing in the bar is interesting at all. And actually, Opie is so bad at promoting this bar. He never pronounces the name correctly. Matt, he's like, can he just tell him it's Gebhardt, please? So the people might be able to find it if they're looking for it. And it's October. Fest time.

So Opie wants to know, like, why isn't there more like October Fest shit going on? Dude, do you do an October fest here? We do. We're doing one right now, kind of ish. I don't see the girls with the big boobs and the cleavage. It's a B.YO.

It's a B.Y.O. It's a B.Y.O. It's a B.Y.O. Oh, never mind. What an asshole. It's October Fest time. You guys do anything to celebrate here? Yeah, yeah.

We got an October. It doesn't look like it to me. All right. I guess we want big titty girls. You've got to bring up yourself, man. I don't know to tell you. I invited them. It just didn't show up.

Smart. And then it's like, oh, Ron's here. Oh, good. Ron showed up. You know he's lurking around. Whenever time this is a day, I think it's around 6 p.m. He's lurking around. Those guy's filming in there.

Is that Opie? Is that a camera duct tape to a computer? I see over there. I'm going to go see what's doing. But before we get distracted by Ron, and we will get distracted by Ron, and we will get distracted by Ron. Opie decides to pull out some hooch from his guy's weekend. Now, I have a lot of questions about this. Oh, I brought something, actually.

Where's the, uh, the hooch? Oh, I brought some hooch. I had a guy's weekend, but it was, uh, it was like my older friends. We might open it up to my newer friends. Although Matt, you did get the invite and you were to open it for you, bud? I know. I don't know. No, he doesn't even better.

Oh, wait. Hold on a second. I got to pause it and back that up. These are his older friends. He always calls them. His older friends. But Matt got the. the invite, and he just said that in front of

everyone. He wants to let everyone know, Matt's my only real friend. Scott Watson, Ron the waiter, whoever else is hovering around, Chris Peretti, don't care about you guys. Yeah. But just to recap, Matt's been invited. Matt's never gone to

anything. And you remember when Opie came back, he's just like, dude, why don't you come out to my house in the Hampton? He's like, I don't know, I would have fixed my bike and be a whole thing. Come on, man. Yeah. You should have come out. So Opie's always asking Matt to do stuff, and Matt never does it. So this is one of the dynamics that I'm really enjoying about this because

Opie is so desperate for a successful friend. Because he can get all these losers, Chris Peretti, who thinks he's a stand-up and Ron the waiter who thinks he's a stand-up and this other guy who voted for Trump. He can get all of these people to be like, ooh, it's Opie from the Opie Nathan-the-show. But he can't get a guy who owns two bars, starting a family, has a hot wife. He doesn't know people like this. So he's like, I want Matt to be my friend. And Matt's like, all right, you can come by the bar.

Also, this is a clear bottle that Opie is holding up, so I'm guessing it's homemade something or other. But he's rotating it as if you can check out the label. There's nothing to see. Yeah, I know. He's a retard. He can't help himself. Although, Matt, you did get the invite. And you're going to open it for you, bud?

I know. I don't know. He doesn't even better. Oh, wait. You're going to open this back? I've never seen this one. 14.5 percent. Jeez.

Okay. So, yes, he pulls out the hooch, and Matt's going to school him. on how you open up this bottle. How do you open it up? You got to use your finger real hard. Oh, damn. I try that shit. So that's kind of a neat little trick, right?

You've probably seen that before being a bartender. Oh, shit. I wasn't supposed to say that, was I? Chad Zumak out of you, and now I was just like running wild with it. So at the end of the show, at the end of the stream, I don't know why I'm calling you a show. Opie decides he wants to take a shot at opening this thing up. See if he can pull it off. I know how to do that.

Watch this. I know how to fucking do it. Oh, it's the other way? There we. There we go. All the way. Let me go all the way. Hold you.

That's what he says to his wife. Oh, honey, let me go all the way. It's going to go into the window. Oh, my. What's he doing? I don't know what's worse. This or your friends. Ah.

So bad. Oh, we tried to cry. body chop it for some reason. After he watched the way Matt did it with just his index finger. And he's going, he! That's how radio guys do it. Right.

Yeah. It's not great. Didn't actually work out all that well. So then, Opie does the thing that he does to his guests on the show, where he does not set them up for success. He sets them up for failure. Now, we know that Chris is not good off the cuff.

We've seen him try to riff. And he's not funny. He doesn't come up with anything interesting to say. and so Opie decides to get him going on the microphone. Chris, how have you been, my friend? Chris Ferretti. Everything is good, man. Everything's good.

That's your, that's it. Everything's good. Everything's good so far. I got a haircut. I'm losing weight. I went to the barber. I said, listen, give me the Rosie O'Donnell. He's like, I got you.

You got the Rose Hill Donald. Opie goes, hey, what's new with you? Not much. Oh, that's all you got? Just not, not much. Like, yeah, I mean, this isn't, that's not a good. This is why we're not friends. Yes, it's not a good interview question, Opie.

It's not a natural conversation to do on a show that we're doing right now. Save my show. Right. I got nothing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, now you go. It's basically what Chipperson used to do to everyone. It was definitely an opi thing. Okay, now you go.

What do you got? It's like put people on the spot with nothing. And the joke he tries to make. I ask for the Rosie O'Donnell. Does that look like Rosie O'Donnell's haircut? No. He looks like Jackie Daytona, a human bartender. That's like his best impression.

That's from what we do in the shadows. Oh, I should know that. Yeah. I do know that, actually. He does look like that. He does look like Lazle a little bit. So, Matt is the guy with the clubhouse, right? That's why Opie likes Matt because it gives him a reason to leave his apartment and get away from his supposedly living family.

And Chris is, like you said, auditioning, but seemingly failing. This is he. And the other guy, are we sure these aren't just the guys that are dangerous? drinking at Gebhardt's? Like, that's why they're there. Ron is just always there. He's just waiting for Opie to show up. I assume he's there all the time

and then Opie shows up and he's there again. I think he works there. He might work there. I think so, but he might work in Astoria, because we just found out recently lives in Astoria. So working in the... He picks up shifts everywhere. Maybe. It's very possible. All right.

So this is the craziest part of this episode. Someone reached out to me and goes, Holy shit, I'm watching Opie right now. You won't believe what just happened on the show. Oh, I got something for you. Uh-oh. I got something for you. Yeah, well, let's see.

I got something for Mac. I almost forgot. Oh, you don't say. I got something for Matt. I got something for Matt. Oh, my goodness. I got something for Matt. I'm giving that right to my mom.

I got the age, 10 years, old Rick Van Winkle, handmade, Bourbon, that's a really sweet gift, buddy. This fucking thing, I'm going to brag. This fucking thing, you could get for $1,200 online. Wow. No. He's re-gifting.

I was going to say, correct me if I were wrong. The gift he got from his neighbor for saving his neighbor's children's lives. Mm-hmm. And he looked it up immediately and saw what the value was. And then went, well, I don't like bourbon. But maybe Matt will be my friend if I give it to Matt. And that's the first words out of his mouth, $1,200. And I'm gifting this to you, Matt.

We all know he showed it on his stream. Yes. We all know this was a gift from the neighbor. I love this. And now he's re-gifting it on the stream. And remember, this is an important part of this. The father of these children knew who Opie was, used to listen to Opie and Anthony on his long drives down to Baltimore to visit his then-girlfriend now wife. So when he finds out he's streaming, he's watching.

Oh, my neighbor, Opie is streaming from the house. house. They're going to see this. They're going to see that this woman came over and goes, here's a really nice bottle of bourbon. And we've talked about this. Even if you don't drink bourbon, it's a nice thing to have in your house. Sure.

When you have guests over. Yeah. If you ever have guests over. If anyone ever wants to come over to your house. Not Matt, but somebody else that would show up. If you have any friends at all, it'd be nice to bust out the bourbon after dinner and say, hey, you guys want to try this? It's a really nice 10-year Rip Van Winkle.

You figured out this Rip Van Winkle. about RIP. Yeah, I was waiting for that. Because that was good. But the icing on this cake is Matt immediately said, I'm giving that straight to my mom. Yes. All right, so, Opie then explains why he got this. This is

the bottle I got. When I saved a couple kids, now I save both kids. It started with... Even that straight kid? Even the straight kid. It started with me kind of helping, and now it's an all-out. I saved both kids and the woman, the mom of the kids,

she gave me this bottle of Rip Van Winkle 10 years. Oh, imagine if I drop it right now. No, I can't imagine that. And she said, she said, thanks for saving my kids. And I said, no problem. So let me Google that real quick. So your kids were at 1,200. Well, I was polite.

I waited for her to leave, and then I Googled it. Yep, Matt, caught about it too. Why is Obie doing that thing where he's jamming into the camera? It's so obnoxious. I know he's a radio guy, but have you ever watched other people stream or watched other shows? It's infuriating. He's so bad at this. And I think part of it is he's a little nervous.

This is this big gift to his buddy Matt. He's hoping it goes well. Maybe they'll bring up their friendship to the next level. Matt accepting this gift. And the reason why I say that is because Opie gets real serious about Matt right here. No, you're on, I'm going to get serious. That's the weirdest thing that's ever happened. I'm going to get serious for a second.

I'm going to get serious for a second. Matt has supported me for many years now. I walked down this fucking sidewalk many years ago at this point, seven years ago probably. I was lost after that stupid serious, let me go for nonsense. And I wanted to start up something. I didn't know what. And I walked into this establishment, and then I started sneakily live streaming without meeting Matt. And then I finally met Matt, and he's like,

Ah, all right, you could live stream from here. And, you know, we've had a lot of fun. And Matt continues to support me. And he's a damn good friend. So it's the least I could do, my brother. I cherish the memories. The way Opie's describing this, I was there for it, okay? Opie would set down a Zoom recorder on the bar

and have ridiculous conversations with Vic Henley and Carl Ruiz. It wasn't live streaming from the bar. The way he's making a sound is if these guys took the place over, they're like, oh, shit, Opie's performing at Gebhardt? We got to get down there. Let's go. He's doing a live stream from there. It's a pop-up.

Let's go. No, it was just him drinking beers with his friends and having Monday conversations that you could sometimes not hear at all. Yeah. Because of the music in the background, TVs, ambient noise. He would tell them to turn the fucking music down. He was a prick. Matt politely put up with me for years.

and I'm romanticizing it now. And that being said, will you go to prom with me, Matt? It's like, what is he doing? He's putting him on the spot. I can't not point out the irony of him giving away Rip Van Winkle bourbon while wearing an iron smoke shirt. It's just like, this is the level of quality in Opie's brain. There's a difference at price point. Is that what you're saying?

Jesus Christ. Possibly quality as well. So, Opie, like, wants to be best friends with Matt. And this is the way he impresses Matt by doing a live stream. So, like, this is him at his most confident self. Like, look at me, Matt. This is the reason why you like me. I do this live stream thing.

And I put you on YouTube for Carl and Chris and Annie to make fun of. But don't worry about that part. The other parts are cool. And he's literally just, like, professed his love to him. Yeah. Remember when we first met, man? I was just this guy with a Zoom recorder and a redneck friend who couldn't make a joke to save his life. And he allowed me to continue to do that from this establishment.

And you hooked them with drinks. So then, thank God, JFK, Headchunk is there in the chat to call opi out because someone had to do it. I will not relinquish. We will do super chats. Regifting live is classy. All right. To be fair, you're right. I should have done this behind the scenes.

Yep. Yep, Opie, we're all seeing this. You bragged about getting that as a gift. And now you're handing it over to Matt and professing your love. And it's the opposite of classy. And I like the JFK head truck. There's $2 well spent, my friend. Well done.

Now, I know what you guys are thinking. All right, Carla, you're obsessed with these relationships. We get it. It's weird. Opie needs a best friend. Maybe because he doesn't have a family anymore. He's looking for anything of a human connection. And maybe he wants to someday be part of Matt's family.

and then those kids will be gone. Possibly. That's not what we're here for, though. We're here for Ron the waiter. Is Ron going to insert himself into the show or what? Let's go. We were just talking about, like, the worst jobs we've ever had, like the worst survivor jobs.

The worst job. Worst survivor jobs. Yeah, yeah. It's a survivor job. It's just like a job that you do, you know, to kind of keep the dream alive of what you really want to do. Yeah? So like the guy of the causes?

What the fuck is that? You can die outside. Dude, I am taking advantage. a drug, get pods at the hour. Oh, Ron, the waiter's here. He's throwing up. Ron, are you throwing up over there? He's throwing up.

There's a little cubby there. It goes behind the bar. Now we got to bring them over. So Ron was like making puke noises in the background. Chris is trying to introduce a topic to get like a conversation going. Like, hey, what's the worst job he ever had to do? You know, at least Chris is trying something instead of just like looking at the FedEx truck behind him.

And so then Ron just starts being obnoxious. And they're like, all right, Ron, I guess you want to be part of the show. Come on over. So Ron knows what to do. He knows promote Gebhart's. That's what Matt wants. And so he wants to please Matt because Matt is Opie's best friend. Opie looks up to Matt.

Therefore, Ron must please Matt to please Opie. I'm taking advantage of Geppat, world famous. By the way, they're happy I was only three bucks. $3. We do $3.10 ounce beers. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Huh? You're doing $3.10 out?

By the way, no one else does that. That's why I'm taking advantage. $3.00, Guinness. I don't mean to change the subject. Do you guys have fucking product in your hair? So Ron gets in there with the guys, the happy hour here is amazing. $3 for beers. You got to come down here and then immediately it's not always part of the show.

You guys got product in your hair? Like he starts his own discussion and topic. And so he has to keep this going because this is the, his angle to get on the show. And you have product in you here. I don't have product in here. Dude, you look like, fuck. No, he just has a decent mattress.

Jesus, Christ. Like a quack of seagulls. I'll run. I'll run. Dude, you have products in here? You have product in here? I don't have product. Scott, who has almost no hair, has product in his hair.

Great stuff. Thanks for coming on, Ron. This is really good, really riveting things we're talking about. Does he sit at home much like the peanut discussion and just think up that I'm going to sing having a gila for two hours and today it's hair product and this is this is the bit for the day these are the jokes people and did you watch this no you didn't

because Ron knows he's got to go to the bits that work because this hair product thing ain't working no one really gives his shit so Ron goes to his greatest hits talk he's happy happy Russia Sharra oh I'm supposed to be home with no electricity any or something. Chris.

Don't live to anything. Chris, seriously. What do you want to do? I can tell you fucking not Jewish. Jesus Christ. You're the asshole that jumped on his lap and inserted yourself into the show. Right. And Chris got uncovered.

Which is like, okay, man, do you want to sit here? Yeah. Like, obviously, you want to be a part of the show and sing your little Habing de Gila thing. So I can get out of the way. Fortunately, they shoe Ron off. But before they do, Ron knows. where his bread is buttered

and so he wants to get a shot in at Opie that he knows that we will applaud and appreciate. By the way, Matt, I want to say thank you for the mattress. Yeah, I had nothing. Dude, I, honestly, it, honestly, it tingled my heart.

Tingled to my heart. But anyway, he's got to say in front of Opie that Opie had nothing to do with the mattress again, which I appreciate that. I think that's funny. I don't think Opie likes that one bit. No, and he has to hold the microphone so Ron could say it. It's hilarious.

And, of course, Ron can't be gone without one more plug. Happy hours are fucking $6.6. This guy's doing three. And he's got product. They don't have product in her hair and stop pouring beer on the equipment, Ron. Do you mean to drink, son? Dude, Ron is a child. I can't believe I'm saying this.

Chris is the only likable one here. I'm starting to like Chris a little bit more. When he's not doing his horrible trumpet impression. Yeah. Today he's likable. Yeah, it's a little more tolerable when that's happening. But when Ron's dancing in front of him... I hate his guts, then.

I know. I hate Ron so much. But I'm glad you had a mattress, and I look forward to seeing the photos once you get it all done up and in your room. I like that Opie hates Ron. So when Ron shows up, it's ruining Opie's day. That's what I like about Ron. But it's weird because Opie's sort of keeps Ron part of the group.

He's constantly streaming with him. Yeah. He, for some reason, Opie likes him. I mean, Matt won't do it. Matt doesn't have time. So I'm sure he prefer Matt. But for somebody he likes when Ron's the second mic on his show when he's streaming. But when he gets to the pub, Ron is fifth or sixth out the list of who he wants to be talking to.

Yeah, but but but but but but but but but but get out of here, Ron, but Matt's talking. You're distracting me from quality time with Matt until I need you because I know you're going to take my call every time I call and I nobody else is picking up the phone. So run, enter Ron the waiter. He gets so excited when he even sees Matt. That's where this came from. Maddie-Oh! That was Opie being very excited that Matt showed up where they didn't think he was going to be there that day.

So then Matt sucks. Matt tries to make a joke here, and it's so bad, and Opie does not get it. I would deliver pizzas for the midday guy. Nice. Okay. Was this in New York? It was in Rochester, New York, yes.

What's like one of the worst, like, just delivering pizzas, one of like the worst customers you ever had? No, I don't have an answer for that. because I would just deliver them to businesses. So it was like, it was really easy and boring. What about you, man? Instead of being offered the tip, I was offered the whole thing a few times.

You were all for... So just like... Did it just a tip? He got over the whole thing. Do you want to come? You want to stay? There's a party. No, I got it. I was just like jealous of him. Because I had a paper out and a penny save around.

Oh, man, I did the same thing. Opie's not getting the joke No. And it's such a hack joke. Oh, yeah. And he's like, oh, wow, you got the whole thing. I mean, I'd be excited just to get a tip. And so this goes on, and

Scott Watson actually tries to explain it. To Opie, this is insane right here. It's a penis. I was wondering what Scott's job was. Look at Opie is. Wait, you had men. Wait, men banged you? No, didn't bang me. Also, that's how He offered, instead of the tip, they offered the whole thing.

Do you want to tip, you want the whole thing? The whole penis. I'll just go now. Pizza is yours. Wait, you did. The pepperoni's are yours. So you offer, but said no. Jesus, Opie, it's a joke.

It's a fucking joke. Opie's going, everyone knows about this story? Everyone knows that my boyfriend, Matt, was getting dick. down when you had a delivery route? You see, Opie, a tip is a little extra money that people get when they deliver a pizza, but it's also a part of a penis. It's insane. The guy

literally had to say, the whole penis, Opie. That's the fucking joke. Explaining it does not make it any funnier. It makes it way, way worse. So, are you guys as fascinated with Opie's interpersonal relationships with these guys as I am? Of course. I definitely prefer

Opie at Gepard's than him alone in his apartment or beach house or, you know, that is kind of redundant to me at this point. It's the same shit over and over again, as opposed to when they're there and it's the group and everybody is just kind of like bouncing off of each other in an awkward and unfunny way. That's interesting. Yeah, it never gets better. They never figure out chemistry or how to make it work.

I got a quick update on Bubba the Love Sponge. And actually, Chris, when you came over today, you probably heard me playing this. I think I found the spot in the show, but I didn't have enough time to get it. But Carly wrote in and said, have a listen to today's live show. This is Friday's show of Bubba. After proclaiming for months now that he was a man of deep moral character, even producing a documentary about it with Brent Hatley, Bubba has turned a corner and is now going full speed with an only fan's account.

It's so gross. He will now be posting content, some of which I know for a fact is self-produced, but he's also encouraging co-hosts to make videos of them jacking it so that he can post them on his new only fans for their viewers. It's more than one can stomach, says Carly. I got to look into this. This might be a Wednesday topic. You're going to watch that?

I believe that's a... The teaser. The teaser. The teaser. You're going to pay him. Adam's Bush. Yeah, I'll make Adam check there. Yeah.

Pull some clips from this, Adam. Wouldn't it be funny? Like, we show it. It's just the smallest blur you've ever seen on the screen. That'd be fun. All right. Speaking of fun, I know you guys are interested in this asshole. You guys know I'm fascinated with how John starts his show

Because he's always so unprepared And after a while it does get repetitive And so I don't like to show every time He has to adjust the green screen It's not centered like we get it He never looks at that But this one from yesterday Is particularly bad as he starts his show

Completely unprepared Don't cross the Duke Everybody knows that And the mic is not connected. He can see him just screaming just do it into the mic. Yeah, he has no idea.

He's still not centered. You can still see part of the wall. Yeah. Let me fix all this shit. I got this desk. It's got to be cleaned. And that's not even the right microphone. There we go.

Oh, yeah. Now it's perfect. You got it. Right after this, he starts eating a bologna sandwich. And I know he's doing it. is a performative John things. I'm not even going to play it for you. But it is three and a half minutes

of just him taking giant bites, chewing for a long time, chugging water. Giant bite, chew, chug water. Good stuff, John. Really good. But, of course, the big storyline with John right now is that he is going to become an attorney. And so you have to take this exam, the LSAT. And the LSAT, the score you get on that

is what allows you to enter into a, law school. So he talks about that. Guess we just registered for the LSATs. Boom! That's right. The Duke

is taking the LSATs. That's right, motherfuck! is in January. So law school admission test is what the LSAT is. He keeps calling it the LSATs, which is incorrect. We'll talk about that more in just a moment. But first, notice he said that he's taking it in January.

Here's my prediction, guys. This goes away and it never gets brought up. Oh, you think? I mean, by the time November rolls around for sure, but maybe even sooner than that. And then someone in the chat will give him two bucks to go, hey, whatever happened with that Elsaid thing. And he'll just brush it off and move on. Elset? Yeah, there's no way he's going to take this exam.

Once he finds out how much studying he's going to do in order to get a decent score on it. But just signing up to take it as a victory, this is like everybody's saying you have a liver disease. You look like you're dying and him going, well, I made a doctor's appointment. Yes. That's all I'm probably fine. I'm going to get blood work done eventually. Yeah. Oh, okay.

Well, then you're fine. Good. Okay. Sounds good. Well, let's find out why you have to wait until all the way until January. I missed the November deadline. I thought it was today. Nah.

It was Thursday. Yep. It was yesterday. It doesn't matter. I can use, you know, I like to study for it so I can get into better schools. Yeah, yeah. He's going to ace it, no matter what. But maybe if he studies a little bit, he gets to do it even better school.

If there's one thing John's learned from his. his lawyer, it's that doing things in a timely manner does not matter in any single way. No comment. So it was $248 to register for this thing. He talks about it quite a bit. And, of course, you know, he thinks Anthony Kumi is going to be reimbursing him for that. So he explains Topaki over and over again, $248 in order to register for the LSAP that he's going to take in January because he missed the deadline because he thought it was one day, but it wasn't. It was the next day.

And so he fucked up. Surprise, surprise. He then tells this story about being at the bar, buying a guy a beer, and talking to a woman on the phone. He just wants to get this information out, but he pretends like he's telling an anecdote that's interesting to people. I was at the pub. I was hanging out with a guy buying him a beer

who just cleaned my boat for $175. Of course, I gave him $180. because I'm the Duke. And then I bought him a beer as well, so I don't five. So I gave him like $10 on top of it. He thinks that's generous. That's not even. John thinks...

Five percent. No, I know. John thinks giving a guy 180 and going, keep the change, is generous. But, I mean, all of these are lies. We'll get into that. But I just think that's hilarious because I'm the Duke. I tipped $5 on something that costs $175. He famously bragged that he would tip $10 a beer

Right, you remember that? But we couldn't figure out if it was $10 for his entire time at the pub or $10 per beer because the way he worded it. No, we did figure out that he was tipping $10 on like a five beer tab. It's not $10 a beer. Sure. That's what we figured out. He wanted it to sound that. He did want to sound that way.

Lying scumbag. And I'm hanging out, and I'm on the phone with an attorney. And I was telling her, you know what? I'm thinking about taking the else sets. I said, why? I said, because I want to help those people, those low-income people that get fucked over and can't afford attorneys. You're talking about yourself, right?

Well, all of this is insane for a number of reasons. First off, he doesn't own a boat. He didn't pay a guy to clean his boat. He's at the bar, buying him a beer, but he's on the phone with an attorney, bragging about how he's going to take the LSATs so that he could help out low-income people who have problems of the legal system. All of this is retarded. What kind of anecdote is this?

None of this happened. None of this is going to happen. And then I'm bragging to this attorney, friend. Like, he didn't even say, and then she asks, why do I want to become an attorney? He didn't even say that. He just goes, and I told him the reason why I'm doing it's because I'm a great fucking guy. I'm amazing in every way. The story's going off the rails.

It's crazy. All of it's a lie. So he goes on to talk about how when he was looking for attorneys in Manhattan when VTL sued him, he's like, these guys charge $850 an hour. That's outrageous. I don't know how you go to bed at night knowing you're charging people $850 and hour. That's greedy. That's horrific. Meanwhile, this fucking asshole sued me in New York County. And he's actually like he's a fucking, I'm the good guy over here. You're a piece of

shit. It's what you are. It's like they get $800 an hour. I need to be an attorney. I'll do it for seven. How's that sound? That's, I think that's what he's thinking. He's like, I'm not going to be a good attorney, but I'll have a lower rate and it'll still be way the fuck more than I get pay now, two and five dollars at a time to insult me and my children. It sucks. He sucks. So fucking bad. All right. So this gets crazy. Because John recognizes that what he's saying is outrageous.

And guys like me, guys named Carl who live in Rochester, who host a podcast called Who Are These Podcasts. It is like you. Are going to call him out on it. And you can all laugh at me and say, how delusional and, you know, what? Oh, John thinks he's, you know, whatever you're going to, whatever picture, just do it that you can paint to try and make what I'm saying appear to be wrong. Not the right thing. Well, I'll tell you right now, there are a lot of you people watching me right now who have had to deal with attorneys. Yes, me.

You fucking prick The ball's on this motherfucker He's like I'm giving back I'm charitable over here I don't want to fuck people over having Huge legal expenses Yes you do He cuts

What a fucking faggot this guy is So then John's you know Constantly trying to get at me In all the ways that would get at him He's always trying to find angles On things with me That would make him upset So he decided to go to AI

and uh not aa nope he never goes to a he went to AI and he wanted to find out if stuttering John is famous or not so he typed that into AI yeah let's see what happens let's see what happens if we punning is let's see is Carl Heberg

are famous let's see what happens I'll have to see this one Um Oh, it's a lot of pictures of me. It doesn't even have an answer. I can't believe it. I just asked it. Is Carl Heberger famous?

It doesn't even give me any AI. Oh, so I didn't go to chat GPT. I just went to Google. And Google will give you the AI shit and the top result if it can. So John thinks this gets at me. Like, oh my gosh, can you believe this? Google doesn't think Carol's famous. I'm not.

No. I don't claim to be. That's what makes this all so great. Yeah. Is that he definitely was famous. Oh, yeah. And he's got nothing to show for it. And he sucks at everything he does.

But what's annoying about this? And I'll admit, there is a thing that's annoying about. this is that he's changed the argument from what the argument should be who's the better guitarist so i went to chat gpte and i asked chat gpt who's a better guitarist handsome be wonderful from the isotopes or stuttering john melendez and it says so in terms of pure guitar playing especially in the instrumental slash lead context handsome be wonderful likely has the edge more focused more consistent in guitar work more known for guitar and performance john is on guitar in his band and rock songs, but doesn't seem to be primarily known for guitar virtuosity.

Conclusion, based on what I've found, handsome be wonderful, is probably better as a guitarist, especially if you care about melody, instrumental work, and guitar-focused performance. If instead you value songwriting and vocals and stage presence, John Melendez has strengths in those areas. Who's the better attorney? I didn't ask that. I just thought that was funny. That's great.

It's fucking retired that we're arguing by who's more famous. I know. It just changes the argument. I never worked on the Howard Stern shell. I don't know Jay Leno. These things I will admit. I won't point out the irony of you strengthening the argument that you're famous and worth talking about. And how that applies to certain things that we're not going to talk about.

Right. Publicity, man. He's really fucking stupid. The rake stepper's fucking at every fucking rake, he lays him down. Yeah, yeah. He forgets there. He puts him down. Yep.

It's incredible. So, oh, so then John gets VTL on, and John paid VTL money to settle that lawsuit. Remember they had a settlement behind the scenes that was less than the $12.5 million. Less, you say. Yeah, it was quite considerably less than $12.5 million. When you refuse to pay it, it's less. That John was being the sued for. A lot less.

So apparently, these guys have been communicating, and John wants that money back, that he paid Vince for the settlement that he has. had because John's a poor. John is broke. And so this is the conversation he has when Vince comes on. Because when you sued me, you prick. And by the way, I thought you were going to send me that money back.

But I guess you were just lying about that. Carl's been making fun of you that you're begging and grifting me because you have no money. So he begging me for money. Who gives the fuck what he says? You said that you were going to do it. Just do it. Yeah, but then you have it. And I don't know why.

I mean, like, why, Vince? I said I would consider it, but I don't even know how much it would be. You know how much it is. How many memos did I say, three? All right. Don't worry about that. We'll figure something out. Do you really want to get those videos from you?

So maybe we'll work something out with that. Yes, I know. But even if you did me, don't even do the ones for the commission, just that one flat thing I did. That'd be nice. And then we call it. If you looked at your bank account right now, I'm trying to negotiate with you. Yeah, I know, I heard you. If you look at your bank account right now, how much is in there?

Why should I fucking tell you? Why not? I don't know about 25 grand. Grand doesn't mean cents or dollars. No, I would say about 25 G's, but I'm not talking about my stock portfolio. All right. So John decides he better come up with a lie right there. And he thinks $25,000 is a lot of money for an adult to have in his banking account.

Because he's famous. Right. Of course, he has $25,000. Wow. That's really impressive, John. And he has way less of that, as I believe Vince was pointing out there. Did you hear John's negotiation tactic? He goes, hey, how much you give me the money back that I gave you in our settlement?

And you know what? You don't have to give me everything. Just the big lump sum that I gave you. I mean, he's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll consider it. He's like, are we not negotiating this? Like, what's in it for Vince? He doesn't owe you shit. Yeah.

It's so weird. How about you give me some money back? How about I don't? Yeah. Let me counteroffer with, no. Right. This is like Opie, given the bottle to Matt on the show, if John does this while he's streaming, he might have more of a shot.

I mean, that's how they think. Like, I'm going to put him on the spot. I like how Vince doesn't fall for it. No, he does not. So VTO actually gets my back on this argument. You know, John likes to talk about how I never admit when I'm wrong. looking up 80% last 12 months you dumb fuck all right

yeah you remember when you said that with that it was a dumb move i was wrong i was wrong that i could hand it to you see that's something lady kate can never do vins well that's a grant told us we don't know him personally but we only can go by what grant said i don't know we weren't supposed to say but i know grant doesn't care anymore privately to us no but vince he has not admitted he was wrong about anything like me not interviewing OJ, me not being beaten chat? No, hold on, hold on. He paid you for that.

Yes, he did, but he's never admitted he was wrong. Yes, he does. If he pays a bet, that means he admits he was wrong. This is exactly what it means. Okay. No shit. What's amazing about this is that thank you, Vince, for explaining. Like, obviously I paid the bet, so I admitted that

was wrong. And now John can't admit that he's wrong. No, not if you do it privately. He put up a big think publicly that it was bullshit. Fuck you. Be a man and say I was wrong.

But he can't do that. So now he just changes the argument. I didn't do that privately. I totally announced that I gave $100. We showed the clip on the show. I said, yeah, I gave $100 for it. But I think it's really funny, though, in that back and forth,

John has no idea how to riff and go along with something. So he goes, you know, Carl can't admit when he's wrong. And Vince goes, well, Grant told us that. And John can't, you know, go along with that. She's like, no, no, no, no, I'm doing a thing here. You know, he has to fucking, no, wait, stick to the script. Right, stick to the script.

He didn't fucking admit that I talked to O.J. Brum, brum, brum, blah, blah, blah, bra. It's like, dude, fucking play along. Vince is trying to lead you to something here. Pretend you're talking to my brother. There's a whole conversation going on behind the scenes. Moron. So then John's been caught in some lies.

John's been caught where, uh, sometimes. he won't admit when he's been wrong. And Vince points this out. Jesus Christ. Show me five dicks. Takes him five bucks. You forgot what step you are in your lies. You already meant the boat was a lie.

Is lying why people say you're difficult to work with? Okay. First of all, Vince, do you believe I own a boat? No. Okay. Fucking great. I love Johnson. Look at the air.

Like, oh, okay. Well, that's the end of that bit. All right. So, John already admitted he didn't own a boat. This happened very early on in the boat saga where he's like, okay, I don't really own a boat. My buddy's boat. And now he's back to, no, I do own a boat. And I paid a guy to clean it.

I gave an extra five bucks. This is right exactly like Mensa all over again. When Royce calling him out, you don't, you're not in Mensa. I know, I tell people that, Royce. And they just like went up off on, I'm in Mensa. He used to lie about his age until he realized anyone can Google it. That's the only reason why he stopped lying about his age. He used to pretend he was younger than he used.

is, which again, I point out, bad move. Bad move. Say you're 80. Yep. Peel big eye. You don't look too bad. It's all right. So, John, though, I'm the one who never going to miss what I'm wrong. John can explain why he lies. He's always got a good explanation that makes it okay. If I ever said I didn't on the boat, it was only because you had that fucking, that fucking, what, Kate Coral. Kelsey, that's the only reason why I don't believe you is because she had her kayak out. she was going around

Moschet or Matt Machet or something and looking for it based upon the picture she couldn't find it good but that's why

then I started saying I didn't have one because you're fucking fucking what was that detergent you want me a Downsy fucking ass

is going to fucking go out and fucking try and find it so I had to hide the lie just to just to protect myself

from because you said you were going to start throw things on my boat, remember? She wanted to throw a tracker. I thought that was crazy, but yeah, she did say that.

So John had a lie that he didn't own a boat so that this made-up person wouldn't throw a tracking device into the boat and then know where John was on his real boat that's not a fake boat at all or not just his friend's boat. They did a photo shoot on a couple times. The stupidest story I've ever heard. I will give Vince credit because Vince. Vince just does not, you know, Clay will let John go on shit. And a lot of these guys that John talks to, he just bullies them.

And they go, okay, all right. Vince goes, no, no, you don't own a boat. You said he didn't own a boat. Well, I had to pretend I didn't own a boat. It's just so convoluted and ridiculous. Then they get into NYU talk. And, of course, John went to NYU because he was going to have a huge career in film and television. And that is the school to go to for that.

shit NYU is the top three for film and television yeah but that's all cares so daily smelly thanks for the two bucks my cousin minnie stuttering lawyer your inspiration principal learn how to spell stuttering don't be an asshole miss Syracuse has the number one communication school uh yeah

okay um can you name a famous person three three yeah actually again I don't One of the announces. I'll give you five from NYU. Almost every sports announces. Good.

Okay. Me? That hasn't banged Susanna. Martin Scro? Oh, shut the fuck up. Okay. So, such a ridiculous back and forth that's happening here, where it's like, he gets kicked off for saying who cares if he went to NYU or not. John is so thin-skinned.

Any little thing, he has to kick Clearwater Chad off for sticking up for himself. Vince goes, yeah, no one's that in. pressed with your fucking NYU degree and he has to kick him off and then oh Syracuse is a big school name three name first name a famous person he's like yeah definitely name three yep I got that too he's like oh I'll do five he keeps changing the parameters by the way Sam Roberts last professional broadcaster Sam Roberts graduated from Syracuse University fun fact name five more Marv Albert Bob Costas a lot of people want to Syracuse a lot of broadcasters anyway

So you just heard Vince say, okay, you can name five famous people from NYU, but it can't be anyone who fucks Susanna. And the joke there, of course, is that Adam Sandler slept with Susanna before John dated her. And so, John gets very upset about this. I don't know why. And Adam Sandler, I will say. No, I said that hasn't banged Susanna. You and Adam are out. No, I'm not out, and neither is he.

and don't give you the rules and how do you say you guys both thanks Susanna okay that's it sorry sorry Vince goodbye what the fuck with this guy all right

pussy boy he's gone a few moments later do you understand what I fucking texted you a billion times or do you not understand you're right you're agreed to

do you don't understand events do you not understand it I'll fucking punch in a fucking face in a box of your YouTube service when I fucking see you follow what I ask you to do and don't fucking the next time you break that

fucking rule you're gone for fucking good dickhead kicked him off here's a taste of it turning the color of his shirt I know so can you guys guess at what the rule is

that he texted over to Vince, because I bet I know what it is. Oh, it's not just, don't ever disagree with me? That might be it. No, I believe it's never bring up my family. Oh, yeah. Family is off limits. You bring up John's family around him. He gets

very worked up about it. God forbid you call us kids losers. Boy, that'll go on for a while if you do that. So I don't recommend it. Not a good idea. So he got very worked up at Vince. And this was posted in

read it. People are debating whether this is a performative John or not. He got worked out. Yeah, that's real rage. That's real rage. Yeah. Whether he's putting on a show a little bit, maybe. Yeah. But he definitely was like wanting to punch the guy. Oh, he's full of rage a haul. Yes, for sure. John lies about his demotions when he was working for Jay Leno. Thanks for the five bucks. You were demoted from the Tonight Show. No, I wasn't. It wasn't demoted. I was the announcer. For the whole five years I was there.

Wrong. And a staff writer. Nope. Then we went to the Jay Leno show. And then I wasn't the announcer. What did I want to be? I didn't even want more money to responsibilities. Also, they paid me less money.

Give me less stuff to do. Because that's what happened. That's the truth. The fact that he just blatantly lies about this shit, he's the one who told me he made less and less money over the years on the Tonight Show. I didn't look that up. That was integrity verification. Oh, yeah, no.

But I mean, he said it out of his show. He admitted to it. And now he's trying to backtrack. No, no, no, no, no. I wasn't demoted. He wasn't the announcer for five years on that show. They realized that wasn't working pretty early on in his run. So I don't know what he's talking about that.

I love that the Tonight Show and the Jay Leno show are mutually exclusive. Right. That doesn't count. Maybe technically he was the announcer, but he stopped being an on. camera presence. You know, like you was sitting in the fourth row when he first was on the show, and Jay would try to bounce up off him

and he realized that, like, Kevin Eubanks is way better at this. I'll just talk to him. So we stopped talking to John, and then John eventually was not on the part of the show anymore. So then the chat is getting to him. Because a chatter corrects John on a mistake he made early on in the show that we brought up,

and watch how John doesn't know how to react to realizing he might have made a mistake. He's fucked up by this. El-Sat is a singular mensa, predictively delusional, lozaa. Look at, he's like, uh-oh. Did I get that wrong?

He doesn't know what to do. He doesn't know what to do. Butt-biter. I've never seen John have no response when someone calls him out for being wrong. He just, he's like, panicking. Oh, shit. This has never happened before. Yeah, did I get something wrong? I'm trying to look smart and trying to be cool.

Did I fuck this up? So guess what he does? He brings Vince back on so they can ask Vince if he's getting it wrong or not. So, so this guy corrected me and said, you can't say LSATs. It's LSAT, but everybody even stand for, actually. I don't even know. I don't even know yet. I don't even know what else is that I leave john doesn't even know what it stands for law school admission test i hope it's not the first question on the test holy shit i think that's name he's got till january to figure it out this is incredible you know i don't even know what else said i legal scholastic i mean i just fucking signed up for it now isn't this amazing events i just

signed up for it now i'm supposed to know exactly is it lsat or lsats i don't know every lawyer I've ever talked to always has LSATs. Oh, okay. He goes, guys, I just signed up for it now. I don't know all the stuff yet. And Vince doesn't know what it stands for. And so John has gone from, oh shit, I did it wrong and I look foolish to, nope, actually, it's okay that I did it wrong.

And my ignorance is all right in this case. I'm saying, Vince, I haven't even taken it yet. And this guy's holding me to a fucking, you don't even know what it stands for. And you've been a lawyer for what? 30 years? Yeah, we're not off to a good start if you don't even know what else that stands for. But don't worry, you're going to be fine on the test. Wow.

So, John's like, yeah, I mean, I didn't even taking the test yet. It's okay. I don't know what it stands for or how it's, you're supposed to say it, right? All right. I got vindication. Great. Now we're okay. Everything's good again.

He needed that, though. Yeah. He was really like, fuck. He needs someone in his corner at all times. Yeah. He has no confidence, and nor should he. Yeah, should have zero confidence with what he's doing. Andy, thanks for stopping by today, buddy.

Oh, my pleasure. Always good to see it. It's been a while since you've been in studio. We've been able to connect. But I'm glad you're back, and people should check you out on the All Apologies Podcast. Yes. Please check out All Apologies Podcast.com for everything I have going on, especially this Wednesday. I'm doing a new series for the director's chair.

with Ryan Robulkin's network about all of Edgar Wright's movies leading up to Running Man coming out in the beginning of November. So starting on the first Wednesday of October with, you know, we'll be covering Sean of the Dead and Hot Fuzz. Producer Chris is going to do the Scott Pilgrim episode. So a lot of familiar faces talking about Edgar Wright's film starting this week. Awesome. Ryan Rebalkin, good friend of the show. That'll be excellent. All Apologies Podcast.com.

Yes. This is where you want to go. Let's see what's going on on the internet, and then we'll get to your voicemails. Internet News with Jenny Jiggles. From Patreon, the negative creep writes, I'm in English, and I've never heard the fish and ship song that Daff Slag was singing. Thick a cucumber in a duchess.

Chris Atril notes. Ned Fulmer gives Julia Fox a run for her money as far as vocal fry goes. Paul E. Ogre gives our Chris a scare. I'm 100% fucking the producer over his wife. SSD shares, I like when Lucy says smart law talking words. From Dablers Anonymous, El Guapo posts a disgusting pick of Stucjo and reports, Someone stole the Duke's hair. Eddie riffs, my follicles turnt on me.

Hankster 23 points out, John taking a shower in his own sweat again. Water ain't cheap. Fact Jubish reminds us, ladies, he's single. Bubble Popper posts a video of S.J. losing his shit on Vince and writes, This is what his family saw. Yikes. Do you not understand it? I'll fucking punch in a fucking face in a box of your YouTube service when I fucking see you.

Dark Hawk responds with, The wedding speech about finally feeling safe makes more and more sense every year. And from YouTube, Amanda Huggin'Kiss Opines, Ron the waiter was the biggest story of the summer in the Opieverse. Rusty Merts with an interesting take. Even S.J would drive a mattress down the street for someone. I'll be it tell every single listener

and hang it over that friend's head for the rest of their lives. Get out, comments. This seriously makes Opie look like a straight-up scumbag. be goofy, but treating people like that is terrible. Obie is just so mad he's a has-been. Square 401-7-5, Opie not having a single story from his boy's trip is exactly

why I'm still interested in this sociopath. Dirt level warns, Opie's going to go broke from buying viewbots. Ballsabub suggests. Think of better fake activities for your kids. Biking and volleyball? Steve is 78 isn't wrong. Carmick's Mike Arm has better comedic timing than Stachio ever had.

Seymos also isn't wrong. Knock, who's there, gay? Is the funniest thing Aaron has ever said, J.R. Beyondo breaks down S.J. versus Kristen Carney. So let me get this straight. She doesn't want to be in a sniffing distance of you, and you think blocking her hurts her? Delusional! And Smith John plays us out with, Opie's wife is still around, guys. She's upstairs making candy bacon. Well said. People are paying attention to the show. And if you are paying attention to the show, you know that our voicemail segment has been rebranded in remembrance of our buddy Gary in San Diego.

It's a bunch of crap. Swing in a mix. Rock and roller. Rock and roll voicemails. Guys, listen. I am so super serious about this. Stop taking the piss out of dog's lips. Boter guy doing his donkey lips impression.

I think this is a bonar guy again. Hey, Carl, love you, love the show. Which is why I want to hear Keanu C. Thompson and making up bullshit about you. I kind of get a bit annoyed by her. She's got nothing. I mean, if you were to Google her nudes, I'd just say don't bother because there's nothing going on.

She's got a pretty face. She looks good clothes, but take the clothes off. It's just very disappointing. I think it's daddy issues, which is why she's so desperate for Kevin Ballbaghead Brennan to give her validation and listen to her. But yeah, just making up bullshit, and she's obviously a retard.

assume somehow being fucked by that piece of shit retard Gianno has lowered her IQ because he seemed at some point to be more intelligent than that but actually neither of them has anything how any of these people

have got any clout, fame whatever it is, just nothing, nothing going on don't deserve to be talked at can anyone show any content from these cunts that is remotely entertaining? I haven't seen it yet unlike the creepoff.com, which is fabulous.

Yes. Especially, man, this guy is sending in some fantastic cop cam videos for you to show. And that's really why I'm definitely always writing for you, Carl, at the creepoff.com every week. Thank you, Boner guy. Thanks for sending in the cop cam videos. I guess we're not giving you enough love for that. I credit them every time.

Thank you, Bonar guy. We appreciate it. You got to shorten these calls, guys. Gotta shorten these calls. Too long. Hey, this voicemail is for W. ATP. Is that the right one? Yeah. The Adam Bush, you guys are talking about Opie and Ron. Opie is a real piece of shit. Every episode he should be ending with like, hey, Ron, where are you a waiter at?

Where can we come and solicit the restaurant and give you a big fat fucking tip? Now, if I knew, you know, I was on vacation in that area, I would go there. I would request Ron, and I would give him a huge tip and say, hey, this is from the WATP family. O.B. Treats you like shit. Fuck him. Here you go. And I would probably tip him, I don't know, 100, 200 percent, whatever it is. I love it. Love it, love it. We are slowly turning the gears of the garot around the neck and Claydabler, all these other, hopefully round the waiter soon will come to the WATP Davila Versaide. Ron, we're here for you

and we will support you. You're a goofball, dressed up in costumes. All right, I'm going long. Anyway, way too long. Hey, take care everybody. Love you. Be well. Go bills. Go lions. Go ahead. Jesus. Going way too long, so let me

just side off. My professional side off. Speaking of plugging, Ron, I forgot to plug the Edge Files and I'm doing with Lucy and Luigi Greenberg on Mondays at 7 so if you're still listening

check that out. Every Monday at 7? No, just this Monday. It's every other week but I announce it on social media. Check that out too. Cool. I called before the super chat

saying that Cash Floor is on 2B but the information still stands it's also on YouTube and it would be great if you covered it. Yeah, I want to check that out. You guys know what that is Cash Floor? It's a game show? show hosted by Maddox.

Really? Yeah, him and like some chick hosted a game show together. I guess there's 25 or 26 episodes of it. So I've got to check that out. Carl, nobody's more amused with you than yourself. Well, good. I must be killing it then. And that was a nice short voicemail.

Yes, and here's another one. Yeah, I'm calling out Lucy, loose, asshole. First, she's... I ruined it. All right. We'll get off a run attack. All right. Take two. Here we go. Yeah, I'm calling out Lucy Loose asshole.

First, she had the original idea to go on YouTube and review movies. Never done. Never been done before. And now she's going to glom off the Dabbleverse. What do you have to offer? You've been married twice. So either you suck in bed or you pussy's things or maybe both. Jesus. Just get on the only fans and stop wasting your time. Wow, that got really rough.

Who's curating these? It's not right mean. Hey, Carl, Jason from Waterford, Michigan. Listening to a segment regarding Kianu, man, she, I'm sure you already aware of it, but she's not a bad-looking girl, but she's for entertainment purposes only. Just an H&D hump and dumps and her on her way. Is this chick just wherever she goes, she brings drama? And Gino, that poor bastard hitch his wagon to her. Unless he likes drama, that's probably the case.

All right, see you. Thank you for your call. Hey, Carl, Ronnie, and Syracuse. He loved the show. Got a money-making idea for John Melendez. So Bill Carnegie wrote a book called How to Win Friends and Influence People, very successful sports. I think John could write a book called How to Repel Everyone and Make Them Your Enemy.

I think John's got a moneymaker right there, sir. Also, BWI in the last episode, John said he never had a BWI. I think that that refers to voting while in top. But that's just my opinion. Don't call me back. Nope. And Ron was killed in the car accident. Immediately following that.

That's too bad. This show's over. Cocksucker. It's not bad. I'll go along with that. Does Opie ever say stuff like that? I got to go. I got to go. I got to go.

I got to go. I got to go. Okay. Bye. Bye. Boom. A plane has hit volley. Vinny Paulino, because he's so fat.

Boom. Bye. A plane has hit. I rewatched Carly. Boom. His mom. Boom. Boom.

This is Nate from Flint, Michigan. And guess what? This voicemails over. Okay, folks, guess what? The episode's over. Man, that was a good episode. That was a good episode.

I enjoyed that. Okay, bye. Finger Felicia's fishy flaps.