Who Are These Podcasts? - Ep677 - Girls Gotta Eat

Episode Date: November 23, 2025

Ashley Hesseltine and Rayna Greenberg host a show that sounds like it’s about over-eating but it’s actually about hooking up with guys, their shoes, and liberal politics. Their guests include a woman who wrote a book about how great it was to cheat on her husband and a male feminist who wrote a thesis on hate crimes in the video game World of Warcraft.  Johnny the Audio Engineer makes his WATP debut to laugh at Ashley’s reaction to Trump winning the 2024 election. Chad Zumock livestreamed himself across the street from Mersh’s house to prove he’s a tough guy. On Opie’s show Ron the Waiter is very optimistic about AI, which is a technology developed by aliens that will provide unlimited free energy and food. Frenchie Hana eats an empanada and tries to read her receipt. Stuttering John admits to Clay Dabbler that he’s a sexaholic. We finish up with a round of To Poke A Dabbler, Internet News, and your voicemails. Johnny's crazy social media findings - https://www.patreon.com/cw/JohnnysBrainRotCorner Support us, get bonus episodes, and watch live every Saturday and Wednesday: ⁠http://bit.ly/watp-patreon⁠ ⁠https://watp.supercast.tech/⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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in Ontario. Eligibility restrictions apply. See Golden Nuggett Casino.com for details. Please play responsibly. I told them in the strongest of words to just do it. You see, this is a, we just do it kind of show. I enthusiastically endorse this show and all of the opinions expressed in this episode. 67. Are you a boner guy? Oh, I was a boner guy. You know what, I missed penis.

What are you talking about? I'm the one who should apologize. Is it going to be absolutely riveting? Is it going to change your life by any stretch? Probably not, but it's going to be at least entertaining, okay? By the way, for those people that are in the back, remember to shut the fuck up. Maddieo! Cuzz-a-Roo!

Cuzz-A-Roo! Slapparoonie. It's showtime. WATP. Hello, and welcome to another episode for these podcasts. The only show

that always sticks to a very strict specific schedule. I'm your host, Carol, the $850,000 man with me this week making his WATP debut and a fellow

member of the Weight Watchers Secret Society from the Dick Show it's Johnny the audio engineer. What's up, Johnny? How's it going? Carl, thanks for having me. How's going, Chris?

Thank you for being here. Yes, producer Chris is here as well. Please go to Who Are These.com. Get our email address, voice mail number, Discord server link to our merchandise link to our YouTube channel and that link to Patreon Supercast featuring two exclusive bonus episodes. Every single month, we just dropped another exclusive bonus episode, cross over with

the Blind Mike project that included both Julia Fox's autobiography, as well as a very interesting segment from the Opie and Anthony show in 2010 when Opie was being a real fucking doucheback. Oh. And it actually ties in well into the segment today because Opie talks about back we didn't have to run his own errands back in the day, how great that was. And now he does have to do things like, grocery shopping and it dries

and bananas. So we'll talk about that. He just sit in the back of the car at Costco. He actually, I think, is doing the shopping himself this time, not just handing the credit card over to the no helpers. Very strange. Mistress, girlfriend? Who knows? So yeah, please check that out.

Patreon.com slash who are these podcasts? You get the bonus shows you get the entire back catalog of all the bonus shows we've ever done your own RSS feed. Hook it right up with your podcast player or just get the links to the YouTube videos. All of it's right there when you go to Patreon.com slash who are these podcasts. Also, Hackamania 3, April 10th through 12th in Las Vegas.

It's coming up. Go to hackamania.com promo code WATP for 10% off your tickets. And I know what you're thinking. But, Carl, there's so many promo codes going around. There's really only one that you need to know about. It's WATP, 10% off your tickets for Hackamania 3. There's some fake news out there. There's a lot of fake news going around.

There's promo codes that do better job than this promo code. They don't. It's not true. Don't listen to them. Also, we encourage our listeners to get. It was five stars on Apple Podcasts and then shit all over us in the comment section today. We'll be reviewing a show called Girls Got to Eat. This is a suggestion from Jack Rockstar.

We have all listened separately, not discussed it with each other beforehand. Girls Got to Eat is hosted by Ashley Heseltine and Raina Greenberg. And I'll be honest, this guy, Jack Rockstar, he always suggests shows that we review when I do the crossovers with Dick. Because he always finds, like, Fat Girl podcast, and they're great. Yeah. We have a fun time with us. so he saw the name girls got to eat and went oh this is going to be good but they're not fat girls yeah basically yeah what the fuck yeah basically these bitches are just like oh live your life

do whatever the fuck you want you know it's like one of those chicken powerment girl power kind of shows chrissley's disappointed is that the segment yeah so it sucks all right moving out what don't we say what's run the waiter up to um i checked out a couple of different episodes the description of the show is do you guys want to fuck I'm sorry it says why do you guys just want to fuck you once

then stalk your Instagram forever should you ditch the apps and meet people in the wild how do you get over a breakup when you feel you're going to die tune in to new episodes every Monday so you can start your week eating then dive into the snack a later episode about pop culture on Thursdays

so they put out two episodes every week and this first episode I want to your attention to. It's called The Man Who Made Me Rethink My Marriage with Amber Ray has 6,900 views. I should mention they have 38,700 subscribers on YouTube, which is close to what we have on our YouTube page, but these women are much more popular than us. When I show you the live venue, they play a lot of live shows.

When I show you these venues, they're playing, it's pretty crazy. I was surprised because I listened to the show and then I went to the website. I went to the website, I went, what? I didn't expect this. I mean, like I said, 6,900 views of this video on YouTube. It's not a lot for a YouTube show. So it starts off with banter, of course. The ladies have to do a little chit-chatting.

This podcast is a Dear Media production. Hi, guys. Hi, guys. Welcome back to another episode of Girls Got to eat. Welcome back. Hopefully we're coming off in Eagles win. Maybe. Maybe.

What's to say? We are playing the Vikings. Steelers beat the Vikings. If they're pre-recording it before the game is played Or if they just, she missed it, she hasn't watched it yet Might bring it up That's a good point You know

They're getting this episode on Monday And the women who listen to this Don't care about the Eagles or the Vikings and football But it's a weird thing to start with Hopefully the Eagles won If these are dudes would be unforgivable But they're broads And I know it's not for me

So I'm like hey I don't know I think she thinks she's being cool Yeah that's kind of their bit right It's like oh yeah So I'm thinking about football like whatever and it's like, oh, yeah, like, that makes sense for this show. They kind of get into it. The one woman is wearing an Eagles sweater, which, you know, defending Super Bowl

champions, I'm not that impressed. I'm like, well, a big Eagles fan. Like, that's pretty easy to be right now, I would imagine. But don't worry, it doesn't end there. There's more football hilarity to come. Anyway, I hope we fucking annihilated the Vikings. We'll remove this if we didn't. Our editor loves this.

She loves this about me. Sunday, we might have to do a cut. A lot of inside jokes. A lot of giggling. in the show. Most things crack them both up. Pretty wild. Yeah, I got about two seconds in when you sent me the clips.

I was like, Carl, what the fuck? Yeah, I know. This is a rough one. That's usually how it goes. So I should mention the banter goes on for about 30 minutes. Now, there's a ton of ad reads. These women seem to be making a lot of money because they have tons of ads and the ad reads go on for a long time.

It reminds you of the old days, listen to Howard Stern in the car where you turn it on. He's like, all right, we're going to go to break. I'm like, fuck, I'm not going to hear anything. Howard Stern today. My entire commute. It's just going to be advertising. Did you catch any of the advertising on here, Johnny? A little bit, yeah, if you want to go ahead and place some of that. I mean, the beginning of it, they just rattle through who the sponsors are. And I'm like, well, that's not very good advertising. And then later on, they have like long breaks where they go through and explain to you why all of their advertisers are the greatest advertisers who've ever

advertised. It's like they gave us the snack first of like, here's all the advertisers. And then they eat later. I need to know more. Oh, come on. All right. So like I said, each episode has about 30 minutes of just nonsense, banter, chick shit. And then they bring in their guest.

So Amber Ray wrote a book. And so she's coming on to be interviewed. This is her backstory. So four years ago, while married, I looked into the eyes of a stranger and I had this knowing feeling of he's your person. And it was this crazy moment because, of course, I was married.

I was living, I had left New York in the pandemic, and I was in Toto Santos, Mexico, building a land project with my then husband, who was now my business partner. And we were in the throes of that. And I was desperately trying to convince myself that the relationship was right. We were nine years in. We were best friends. We were never really romantic partners. Had a sexless relationship. But we were good friends, and we got along, and there were things that worked. So basically what this woman is doing is she's selling this story. and she's selling this to a lot of married women that like, hey, is your husband a limp dick that you don't give a fuck about anymore?

Do what I did and just start fucking a hotter guy. Because that's where the story is. And the women here on the show are rooting it out the whole time. Like, yeah, you go get it. You go get that dick. Go for it. Yeah. Well, and it's crazy too because it's like it's the way she talks is like how

no one talks. Yeah. It's like she wrote it all. it's like she's reciting like the forward to her book or something because it's like who uses throws in day to day like the way she's talking is like fucking chat gpt or like someone who was smelling their own farts too much wrote the way that she talks about this i have a few examples here it's almost like she's writing a disney story but not for kids well i guess a lot of disney's not for kids but but for married women who are in their 30s who are like

guys still want to fuck me and I'm stuck with this bozo I think that that's who would care about this book is the message is yeah yeah leave your husband go get that guy who's like seems like he's way hotter he's got more shit going on than him well part of that too is like in that story crafting it's how she can like distance herself from like the yeah i just like totally fucked a bunch of shit up because i just like saw a guy yeah so it's like oh no this is actually like my journey unfolding it's it's literally the This thing was like, oh, yeah, I saw this guy, and we had, you know, this meat cute, and then we were in love ever since. Like, well, that's not reality.

That's not what happens. Yeah. But every woman wants that to be their reality. Right. So it's a nice little story like, oh, that'll happen to me someday. It won't. You're fat. Not the point.

So she questioned a lot of things when this happened to her. The good on paper guy is almost harder to leave because it's like nothing's wrong. It is harder to leave. Yeah, there's not a big thing. Shouldn't I be more grateful. Something wrong with me. that like this isn't enough and like do I need to fix some part of myself and that was kind of like where I was at I was like do I like women is that what you know is that what like on paper guy isn't

good enough you know I like I think it was like it must be something that's wrong with me right being gay it means there's something wrong with you is that what she just said what is I get I don't think she meant that yeah you know what I did realize this wrong with her though typical where's the woman alert button that but I don't know if you guys noticed this but she has a mic in front of her correct yes she does it still sound like the laptop audio or it might be um i have one of those yety mics and she's not using it correctly right that's why i'm like wait a second did she is that just there for chungus purposes i'll give her a pass only because she's not a podcaster she's just being interviewed on the show but yeah i know what you mean for you this must be driving you crazy

i think it's funny it happens all the time i love it okay all right i'm glad to hear that so i think that's interesting that the uh women think like i don't like my husband what am i gay do i want to fuck girls whereas guys are never just like i don't like sleeping my wife anymore do i want to suck dick is that what's going on i'm not joking off to gay porn but you both want to suck dick explore some angles here so then we find out this this guest here amber ray has a ton of daddy issues and that's really what all of this comes down to it usually is so she's talking about her father who left her mom while her mom was pregnant. You know, I learned that he, like, fucked your best friend.

And I learned that, like, oh, he was also an addict. And I learned that he got behind the wheel under the influence. And his best friend, he was getting married the next day, died in the car crash. You know, I, like, learned more details. And I was like, okay, this is actually, like, I think it was actually helpful to understand that he wasn't this, like, perfect man who just, you know, decided we weren't good enough for him. Oh, dad was an asshole. All right.

Well, that'll lead to a fun sex life. for a lot of women. That's good. But don't worry. It's not just dad's fault. Her mom sucked to. Like, I feel like she could have given me like both.

And I made, you know, I don't know what age I would have been in. But I think I would have been able to handle and hold that. And I wouldn't have then romanticized him so much and longed her so much. And also like personalized his leaving. Yeah. Well,

I'm sorry. And it sounds like she, you know, she did her best. And yeah. their concern is very touching yeah I know that was pretty funny

that was right I didn't know what to do with that but it's like it's like her mom told her that her dad was a great guy why would you tell me something like that you feel good about yourself

yeah it's what you do yeah you lie kind of the point when you're a little kid yeah can you believe Santa isn't real too lady what the fuck mom this is how you tell me

I find out yeah fuck sorry guys all right so Now that we know the backstory, let's get into selling the fantasy to these women and these loveless marriages. It was the moment that they walked toward us and I connected eyes with him that I had this kind of feeling of hello again and it felt like I was home and just, you know, he said, hello, I'm John and I like tilted my head and he tilted his head.

And I was like, hello, John. And I like led him in and we did the whole pitch of the land and the house and everything we were doing but the entire time I just was like could not understand what was pulsing through me and my ex like went and talked to the two people about business and John and I were kind of like in this bubble for hours they were supposed to be there for an hour and five hours later I was just like wow okay this feels like my person but in the moment I was like that's crazy maybe in another life so this is a romance novel that she's written that's what she's describing right now right this is the man that she had a sexless relationship with she's talking about meeting the new guy oh okay

there's the guys who locked eyes and then they tilted their heads like dogs that's her person that's her new guy that she's gonna fuck oh gotcha um because that that's the the sales pitch here you know infidelity is romantic get out it ladies what are you waiting for and johnny it's crazy than that like it sounds like a fictional story but it turns out it was even why And she couldn't even write about it. I mean, it was, it was nuts. And also, like, every time I was with John, I was like shooting star. And, I mean, it was, like, I couldn't put all the synchronicities and things that were

happening inside the book because it would sound way too cheesy. But I feel like, you know, the universe was like, hello, I'm going to, like, be really, like, obnoxious and showing you all of these things to be like, hello, pay attention. I feel like there's something here. Yeah. Like, like, everything was conspiring. Like, seeing the world in color for the first time, like, life starts. now.

Everything is black and white. Now it is good thing. You stupid fucking blah-a-mouth cut. I'm sorry, I don't have a plural version of that. Do you see what I mean where all of this just sounds made up and like what women fantasize about happening? When she was describing shooting stars and everything becomes color, it reminded me, I think it was the Brady Bunch where it was described as fireworks when you kiss a girl.

You know what I mean? It's like, it's that childish. Well, it's funny, too, because there's, I always, after spending enough time around the derelict and the crackheads and the whatnot, you start to pick up buzzwords of like, oh, this is this kind of insane person. Like, you know, oh, they believe in the mud floods or, oh, they believe in Atlantis, whatever. But the, when I hear synchronicity, universe, and obnoxious, I know exactly what we're dealing with here. Yeah. And to your point earlier, this is an author who's reading the forward or, you know, reading the blurb on the back. Yeah. This, this is not just a conversation you're having with a real person. It doesn't seem like. Yeah. Oh, I didn't leave this guy and potentially fuck up my whole business and then guilt him into being my business partner now. No, this is like, this is the universe working.

Yeah. The story, there's no ways to work out for anyone ever. She marries this guy. They go into business together. They're working on this project. She decides to fuck this other guy. And the husband's like, good for you. The way that he loved me was that he wanted me to experience the best love that I could experience. And I think he knew on some level, of course, that, like, that was not what we had. And so he was watching me, like, almost like fall in love, real love for the first time. And he even said, like, I'm happy for you.

Come on. It's getting too stupid now. Could you imagine there's women out there cheating? other husband, they come out, like, oh my gosh, I have the best news. Sit down. I got to tell you about this guy. Do you know what multiples are? Look, I experienced real love today for the first time.

Like, rubbing it in the face, too, of the spouse. Maybe literally. Seriously, smell my pussy. Part of me thinks, though, is listening to her even for 10 seconds. You go, God, this is the most airheaded fucking, but do you think that? do you think that guy her ex-husband was just so sick of it that he was like oh yeah man that guy's you know what you guys hit it off real go for it wow like you know what like that's the only way that would make any kind of sense to me it's be like a mom trying to set up their daughter or something

like so john's cute you know like that boy you met today seemed like he really liked you and it's totally what it's like and if you don't like him maybe uh no i think there is something to that i think It was also just like, get this fucking bitch away from me. That's awesome. She's your problem now. I'll be your business partner, but I will not sleep in the same house. Right. So that was an interesting interview they had on a girl's got to eat, interesting fantasy they were selling.

There's another episode I checked out, why men don't understand women with Professor Chesco. This video has 9,100 views on YouTube. And it starts out with some toe talk. Now, normally when I say toe talk on the show, I'm talking Aaron Immolt from Steve. heel toe morning show. This is a little bit different. And a flip flop. You did not use to show your toes. I mean, you're a new woman. She's a different girl these days. Like a year ago even, if you would have been like Ray to Greenberg the next year this time. Thighs in, toes out. You're going to be in a knee length denim short and a flip flop. You would have been like, bitch, please. It's the summer of free the

toe. Okay, toes are having a real summer. Well, I didn't ask you. You had a Band-Aid on your toe yesterday. I, girl. We didn't address it. Why was there? I cut my toe. I don't know how in Denver, like we were going to brunch. Shut the fuck up. Could you imagine sitting next to these women? Yes, I've been there. Waiting for your plane. You're just like, oh, my God.

Okay, I have to walk away from these people. Oh, yeah. I do a lot of walking. Yes. As soon as I hear, okay, so we were going to brunch in Denver. I'm like, okay. I'm going to stop you right there. Don't give a fuck.

Please never bring it up again. I'm sorry I even commented on your fucking band-aid. That's enough. So the banter is excruciating. Let's get to the guest. This fucking guy, Professor Chesco, so this is a feminist who's married with three kids. And listen to this intro they give. If you ever have to give an intro like this to a guest, how much of an ego do they have that you need to pad for them before they'll come on and talk to you?

All right, guys. We are very excited to welcome. our guest today. He is an award-winning communication studies professor. He co-hosts the podcast, Mr. Pick Me and the Man Hater, which offers comedic and insightful commentary on internet culture and dating dynamics. He has amassed over two and a half million followers under his handle, the speech prof, analyzing topics like masculinity, emotional intelligence, and modern relationships. In 2025, he was honored with the Educator of the Year Award at the Cheer Chorce Awards, recognized for his impactful work, both in the classroom and online. Please

welcome to the show, Professor Chesco. Hello. Hello. Shut the fuck up. Seriously. Yeah, I'm not going to let James Corden Jr. Tell me about fucking masculinity. What the fuck is that? Oh, he's going to.

Hey. That intro sounded like it was written by chat, GPT. Yeah, and how do you follow that? I'd be like, well, right. There you have it, folks. And none of it seemed impressive either. Like he's just things. Yeah, it's just things that he's done.

It's like, yeah, everyone's done things. And he made, like, toast this morning. He's good at pancakes. how to do fruit salad, like, fucking... I'm sure he does. Fruit salad. You see where I'm going. All right.

So let's find out more about our guest here, this professor. And he is talking about how he was raised, which is probably why he's a male feminist. And the girls love this. They are so excited about it. I mean, I was raised by a single mom and my grandmother. And they always... My mom is like this old 70s, San Francisco hippie.

and she always taught me if you see something wrong on the world, say something about it. And so I, you know, I've always been into it. I ran for prom queen in high school because, so it was very misguided. But we were breaking the gender norms that anybody could as a 17-year-old thinking I was doing this groundbreaking thing. Why are they losing their minds over that? Because he's awkward. Yeah, he is awkward as fuck. That is true.

They've mind-linked and all the gay jokes they're telling each other are going off. Okay, maybe that's what it is. I can't give him that much credit, unfortunately. Yeah. So this guy, he wrote some papers in college, and one of the things he wrote about was hate crimes and not just any types of hate crimes. So this is in gender studies class. I ended up getting a degree in gender and communication as I joined a speech and debate team. I got a full ride to grad school where I studied feminist rhetoric again and where I wrote about hate crimes in World of Warcraft, which is a whole.

Like the video game? The video game World of Warcraft didn't. So he wrote a paper about hate crimes in World of Warcraft. But even weirder as he's talking about it, bragging about it. Yeah, he's pretty pretty pressing himself about that. Well, it'd be one thing if it was like, hey, we hate all the Chinese people for being imprisoned and being forced to farm all the gold and fuck up the World of the Warcraft economy. Fine.

But if it's like inter-character bullshit, then no. Absolutely no. Oh, so you agree with this thesis is what you're saying. I think there should be more hate crimes in World Warcraft. I'm saying they should ramp it up. That's the problem that we have going on. Yeah. What a waste of fucking time.

College is such a waste of time for most people. For everybody. Unless you're learning a specific skill where you can only learn it there, then you should not be there. All right. So, Ashley, here's this World of Warcraft. She goes for video games. We don't like video games on this show because video games are bad.

they can be they can be violent i mean i often think about video games and how like violent and even the show we were watching we love it but the video game they play is like what show overcompensating they're like killing hookers have you watched the show and the show is very evolved like it's with benito skinner and he's this he was in the closet and it's about his journey going to college and it's it's very it's progressive and evolved but they still play a video game with like killing his poker oh that's the kind of show that we approve of i got it it's progressive and evolved the guy comes out of the closet but there was that grand theft auto segment i like that they're like they've never heard about this before there's a video game where you kill hookers

like yeah it's one of those popular video games of all time i was just gonna say yeah they're working on the sixth one which has the most video game press probably in history yeah and yet they're like can you believe there's a game about killing hookers i thought you just ate like power pellets and try to eat ghosts and shit what's going out of video games these days that's crazy so dumb well The basic premise here is that alpha males are the bad guys. And so this guy who's a feminist is talking about that, you know, toxic masculinity is so wrong and it's horrible that these young men are being taught that. But then it's like, well, can women be bad too? And we find out, actually, it is true.

And the bad men and the bad women all have one thing in common. You're literally, you're just criticizing the tone of that type of man. And what they hear is that you hate all men, which I find interesting. But you just want men to be better. Right. I don't know. I mean, I talk about, it's not the exact comparison, but we talk about this sometimes with white women. There's a lot of white women giving us a bad name, you know, their beliefs and their values and the way they vote.

And it's just like I would, I would like them to be better. Oh, okay. So now I'm starting to understand this. If white people vote conservative, then they're bad. And it can even be white women. none of the Hispanic or black women are Asians let's not maybe Asian but careful with that but white women specifically can't actually be bad

if they voted for Trump got it I love the finger pointing too like yeah these other white ladies are really just fucking it up for the rest of us these assholes with the wrong value system by right people we have it all figured out these people suck over here talking about fucking band-aids over here all right so this guy's been getting made fun of by dudes a lot

on the internet and us because he's a feminist and uh so people think that he's a feminist in order to get laid you know a lot of times these guys who white knight for these women are just like hey women should be able to do anything that a man can do and i'm sure that katie perry was a great astronaut whatever the fuck else they say never nonsense they're spewing so then people make fun of them and just go ah you're just saying that to get in their panties and uh he's got a a response for that right there's there's not was a there's no point i'm not try that's the point of it is the idea it's performative well she's not gonna fuck you bro i'm like i don't know like we have three kids she's done it at least three times but it's so true it's such i don't think

actually's picking up what he's putting down he's making a joke that's three kids i got lately three times that is true that is how at least three times is how reproduction works you probably fucked at least three times i don't know what's worse the like a genuine like being impressed or like the canned like laughter of like oh my god this is the funniest thing ever this guy fucked someone three times i got a wife and kids you know what that means i was doing the old yes you were buddy yes you were good stuff so they go on to talk about like do alpha males even like women because you know they're always pursuing the hotties out there but do they care about them because that's the funniest thing about this whole the alpha male

scene is that like you like women gay right you you're like you want to spend time with women all right pick me like what's that's the worst thing in the world do you want to be friends with women you want to be around women they're boundaries ew girls are gross it's so true like it actually is true girls are gross and annoying especially these two i wouldn't want to have a phone call with either of these ladies that would be a huge waste of time but they were loving that the guys He's like, yeah, these alpha men, I didn't even like girls. Like, yeah, yeah. It's not funny.

It's mostly true. Yeah, you're not saying anything new. It's necessary evil. I think we can't agree on that. Is this the show my wife listens to? I can't remember. I forget what you show up on. Look, I don't like certain pieces of gear, but I will dust it off on occasion.

Of course, yes. It's necessary sometimes. All right, so let's find out really what the problem is, because we've talked about conservatives. We talk about alpha males. but I need to get to the root of what's really happening here. Not to get too far on the woods, but now that we, you know, with capitalism the way it is

and wealth the way it is, it's not enough to just be a man. Capitalism, I fucking knew it. You know, they were beat around the bush for a while. And I'm like, what's really the core of the issue here? And it's the free market. God damn, that freedom. It's fucking everything up.

People are allowed to make their own choices in life. It's that all about. I'm mad about it. too this capitalism yeah well capitalism uh was what created the fucking cheap microphones that they're using so i i do say in their defense i am also anti-capitalist in that very specific instance johnny the audio engineer everybody we see we see how he watches these shows yeah like wait a second i see the road logos i'm like hang on yeah why you guys using that this is a big show what is this it is a big show so what the fuck are that anyway i could go on i know all right so

So let's find out because we've hinted at conservatives being the problem, but let's be more specific about who the problem is in society. When no fault divorce was introduced, female suicide dropped by 20% immediately. Yeah, and the Republicans are trying to bring it back. Of course, yeah, that's the horrific thing. But yes, Republicans, this is what they just said, Republicans want women to off themselves. Republicans are like, we will give you a free ticket to Greenland if you want to take it, ladies, on us.

how did we arrive at that i don't know people are fucking crazy that's the problem when you get people like this type of thought process together in a room they say crazier and crazier shit and no one challenges them on it so just go yeah and republicans want women to kill themselves yeah i know they're pretty fucking evil so getting sick of it what are you to do about that hey man girls got to eat you know i can so they're talking about uh those darn alpha males again here you know they'll have advice about what what she means when she says no you know they literally will have to tell if she actually means no and the answer should be she said no that's how you know she means no because she said no as if there's

no nuanced to anything in the world this woman the previous clip we were playing it from their merch stores wearing a shirt that says boys lie but women when they say no it just means no okay sure why not very black and white the way that these people live their lives well what would have happened to that lady if that guy, her star-crossed lover, would have been like, actually, no, like, I got a wife and kids back home. Like, how would she have handled that?

Well, she would have made up a story like she did to sell it to other dumb women who were desperate to get out of their relationship. Because I'm not buying it. Silly me. All right. This is just for some fun for us. They recorded the show on

the Wednesday after last year's election when Donald Trump won the election. And it's just fun to watch how they reacted to that. We're recording this Wednesday morning. We have the election results in. And Donald Trump has won the presidential election. So a convicted felon twice impeached is back in the White House.

And what I feel today is a lot of grief and anger and sadness over this decision and done a lot of crying and self-reflection. She's been crying. self-reflecting wow can you believe this guy got elected i need to really work on myself yeah that makes sense well what she should be doing is why am i crying about this why am i taking this so seriously there was a lot of people who fucking were those like weeping and gnashing of teeth kind of levels of like really like you think any other president was better by like it was just so like it's great it's all so performative that it's just like just fuck off well it's performative to a point, and then I think

some people get sucked in and think this really is life or death. No, this bro, it said, I got to talk about this, so I should probably act sad, you know? I don't know, they tear up in this episode. Oh, good. She's balls deep into it. Which actually is pretty funny.

But yeah, also, you don't have to record a podcast Wednesday morning if this is how you feel. Just be like, you know, give me a day to think about this one. I've been crying about who the president is. but they're they're wrestling with this thing where it's like not only did Trump win he won by a landslide we really have to take a look at him winning this fair and square and winning the popular vote you know I don't know what I would have preferred because it was so hard to stomach that Hillary won the popular vote and it makes you even more mad at the electoral college and the way our political system is structured

but he he took both yeah it's an interesting question like what I rather like you know he took Miami for the first time. In 36 years, it went Republican, Georgia, Pennsylvania, all these swing states. I mean, people really came out in droves for him. And she goes, Georgia. Come on, I was counting on you, Georgia. Jesus Christ.

Like an anime villain. Yes. Don't get me started on Georgia. This is what people want. I might be against every policy I've ever heard him speak, and I really do believe that. But I have to hope that my worst fears won't be realized. And they're not even having a real conversation.

They're both staring at their notes. So you can see that Rain is just reading all of this as she's talking about it. Well, they're not good notes then. No, they're not great notes. Anger, sadness, grief, policy. Like reading. You're sure the facts labels to each other. Right.

Sodium. I tell myself that nothing is ever as bad as you think it's going to be. And that there's, like, good people in the government that want what's right and best for us. And I know there's so much, like, good in this world. This audience is amazing. And the messages we got were so incredible. And so many of you said I voted for the first time. And I had really hard conversations with my partners, my parents.

I'm really proud of, like, what you and I have done and Tessa and this audience. And there is good in this world. And, you know, I want to thank all of our listeners for having those tough conversations and voting. Okay. I mean, what kind of relationship do they have? What kind of relationship do they have with their listeners if they're writing and going? listen, I talk to my parents. I try to talk them out of voting for Trump.

I'm beside myself. I did everything I could. I'm one of the good ones over here. Yeah, you wouldn't believe it. I actually voted for the first time because of you guys. It's like life changing my whole world over here. It's a relationship podcast. It's a light, fluffy relationship podcast where they giggle about male feminists.

And who doesn't? Well, that's what blows me away, too, is because, like, if you wake up the next day, Like, if you fell asleep the night before or even the night of the election results, it's just like you wake up and the Google homepage, everywhere you fucking look has it. Like, why the fuck would you need to be like, hey, breaking news? It's like, let me guess. Is Michael Jackson dead too? Well, hold on a second, Johnny.

And that is sad. But this is a collective group hug that they have to have together to get through this. Because this is very upsetting. But they do want to thank the people who did vote correctly on this one. if you dedicated your time and energy, even if it was just to go out and vote for Kamala and protect women's rights or our democracy or hope for a more unified country, whatever the reasons you would have wanted to vote for her. You should hold your head up high. You should be proud. And if people are trolling you or rubbing this in your face, like that just speaks to their character. And you know, you wouldn't do that if the roles were reversed. And so I want people to feel like that. And I want people to understand what she did was remark. remarkable in the short amount of time with all the odds stacked against her, the money she raised, the people she inspired and empowered, the way of us felt when she was running is a feeling I don't want to forget and I want to give her her flowers for like, oh my fucking God. The position she was put in at what she did with it. Not I'm not I just, you know, I don't think this is performative.

I think she's literally is crying. I'm sad. imagine thinking that Kamala Harris did a good job running for president or that she ever had a chance I'm sure the history books would be like yeah she should have won that one she was the answer all right I think she started hearing herself as she was talking and was like why am I fucking going down this path like god damn it you guys are giving her way too much credit all right I hit it at this earlier so I was checking out their website eat and oh god it's one of those fucking banners that's like a whole video just in the

it's so goddamn distracting anytime i see that shit okay so this is the thing that really uh blew my mind because you know you see them doing some live stuff they're up on a big stage and you know we've done that obviously and who are these podcasts the dick shows done it many times this photo right here i'm like what's going on here this is a 4,000 person theater would you say? What people are in the were they opening for someone?

Were they opening for Motley crew or something? What's going on here? Well, definitely not Mali Crew because if you look into the audience,

it's, it's all women. And then there's this dude. What a cock. What a fucking loser. He said they're going, He's got a little propeller beanie on and everything.

So, yeah, and I guess, This, Ashley, I guess she does stand up. She's been touring around a lot. I did check out the tickets, and they got a show coming up in New York City on December 13th. And so I was like, oh, all right, maybe I'll go to that. So I went to purchase tickets.

Shut up. Went to go see what we're talking about here. I'll probably grab two tickets. Chris, I want to go. Between $16 and $107. Yeah, I can afford that. That's no problem. So let's see.

What do we got? Let me choose my seats. So this is December 13th. It's coming up. Now, if you look at the orchestra level, they've sold a lot of freaking tickets to this thing. Jesus Christ. That's fucking impressive.

There's only 219 available. Mezzanine, that's a little bit rougher. It's a lot of tickets available there. And then the balcony, maybe this theater's a little bit too big. The balcony is only sold. A couple of seats in the front row there. Now, Brother Carl, I mean, make an inference. Do you think there is a weight limit on the upper levels?

Oh, is that why they're not selling the seats up there? It just says that the thing, no elevator. You're like, well, fuck that. Because we're sent orchestra. They're like, if you're going to, if you weigh enough to fall through the top two floors, your ground level. So there's over a thousand tickets still available. Maybe they'll sell them.

I don't know how this works. but 60 bucks for the balcony good for them good for them well the ticket's 50 50 the fees are 950s that's not it's not their fault let's open for them seriously I think that their audience would really enjoy for these podcasts we just walk the room

what up stupid cards we just start playing Trump speeches and applauding yeah goose stepping all over the place our shirts I'll say Maga in a row. We'll do an episode of Weight Watchers up there. That would be.

That would be great. Scare away the entire audience. I will do this. I don't need to get paid for it. Don't even worry about it, ladies. Just let us open for you. I'll walk out there for that. This would be great.

So any other thoughts? I know I tortured you, Johnny, and made you check out girls got to eat. Anything else you picked up on? Man, well, you know, as I was going through it, because I like to, when I listen, to shows like that. What I do is I'll listen to it in the background while I'm doing something else and then I'll go back through and then just check a few spots. And man, every spot I checked

in there, I was ready to just like, I'm looking at my exacto knives on the desk. Like, is today the day? Like, is it right now? Is it right this second? Could you imagine? We've talked so much about like, we make fun of Suttering John a lot or Patrick Michael or, you know, these guys that are recurring characters on a show. And like, what if someone did something? horrible to themselves because they're in a funk or something. But what really is going to happen, it's going to be a co-host doing their homework, doing

their prep work for the show, who's going to be like, I can't live anymore. And the suicide note's going to be like, Carl drove me to this. It would just be thanks, Carl. Yeah, thanks a lot. Actually, the suicide note will just say, oh, do I have it on my board? I probably do.

God damn it. Thanks a lot, Carl. I knew I had it somewhere. He's fascinating. me everyone yeah that both well that the clips you sent and just scrubbing or scrubbing through the rest of that show was just brutal it's like the fact that

they have such a fan base because I was thinking about it just now too is with even though they only have what 6,900 views on their video or whatever that's probably every single each one of those views is people spending their money on them

it's like such a dedicated 6,900 views that's a That's what I was wondering, because we don't play venues that large, and we have way more views on our videos and on the podcast. Maybe they have the people listen to the podcast. We still have our audio version. But, yeah, it didn't seem like it aligned well. They have 38,000 subscribers, which is okay. And then they get like 6,000, 9,000 views on a video.

And then they sell out a 4,000 person theater. It just blows my mind. You can't even, like, that's the thing most indie bands dream of being able to do. and you have these two fucking airheads yapping it up to fucking nobody. And it's like, wow, no shit. Johnny, don't tell any of the indie bands this is going on. It's going to really upset them. All right.

Come on. Keep this between us, all right? Like, hey, you know, if you guys just stopped playing music and just went on puns tape and talked about cutting your toe, you'd make way more money. So they're like, you know what? It's just dumb it up to work. Let's try it. Fucking 4,000 seat stadium.

that's like yeah that's crazy all right i mean that's obviously not the norm i think we just noticed that because they're playing in new york city in december for their big holiday show and there's still a thousand tickets left but who knows people might buy them i typically when i'm prepping for the show on saturdays i'll put on be dabbling live in the background and just keep an eye on it you know they they had clear water chad back on dabble verse news really important stuff that i need to be up on you know it can be breaking news that happens that i need to address on who are these podcasts not long after the fact and of course j t is uh is here in the chat and he's involved in that show so i want to impress j t with my knowledge of what's going on in the

dabble verse well tuki or not tuka i guess it would be el harribla el haribla pops up a video of uh chad zoomock now chad's a guy we don't really talk about on this show correct but he's been going at it with Mersh. And you know Mersh, right, Johnny? Is you? From Revenue with him, yeah. Yeah. So, Mersh and Chad have been going back and forth. They both live in Tampa or the Tampa area. And they've been going back and forth. And recently on Misery Love's company, Kevin Brennan's show, you have Chad Zumach on there talking all sorts of shit

and Mersh is in the chat talking shit to him. And then they send Mersh the link and Mersh comes on. and Chad all of a sudden his microphone stopped working what happened let's some move and we can't hear it

but it's worse than that because you could tell that his roadcaster was working because he was still hitting drops and his phone

was connected into his roadcaster for a show and his phone started ringing and that came through the audio so Chad was just being a pussy

and a chicken shit didn't want to actually go blow for blow with Mersh because Mersh is going Chad, I know I'm funnier than you.

I'm challenging you right now. Let's go to a comedy club and let's see who's funnier. Because Chad's a stand-up. That's like his profession. Mersh is not. Mersh is just a YouTuber, Rumbler, podcaster guy. Yeah. But Mersh does some stand-up, and he's challenging Chad to that.

And Chad's being a big pussy and can't get his audio to work for some reason. Well, fast forward to today. Just a few hours ago, actually. This would be around 1230. Eastern time, somewhere around that. And this is what El Haribai is watching. I'm crossing the street.

Be careful, Chad, we've got to do the Chad and Chad show. I'm looking at Mersh's house right now. Oh, shit, we don't condone this. He likes to lives in a shitty, shitty Section 8 house. Lock and load, Mersh, lock and load. The invasion is coming. Let Mersh know. Tweet him, DM him, email him. I'm here.

The Munch Shock Army. I'm across the street from his house. What this fuck is he doing? Let him know. The one with a slant the roof like that. It would be funnier than me, buddy. And again, where that white car is and that black car. Chad screams about me being a coward for not taking off my filter so he can see what I am. But he's not telling anyone where he lives, but he's happy about everyone else's house.

Come outside, buddy. There's his house right there. Yeah. Oh, my God, Chad. Mersh, come outside and wave. That's Mersh's house. he's showing the street signs showing of the intersection

when people start doing it when people start doing this to him and they figure out where he lived bring the hilarity let him know I'm here I'm right across the street so I saw that and I saw that a clipper

pulled a clip of this so Chad's doing his normal Instagram or YouTube live stream thing where he's just out there with his phone and he's going come be funnier than me standing across the street from his house what does that even mean if chad wants to get the guys attention he's ring the doorbell yeah you know yeah but standing across the street like a coward is pretty funny too it's ridiculous i wish merch came out

and did like a really strong five minutes he walks out he's got a PA speaker sets a down going back in comes out it's got a PA flugs it in well that's all i got time for not even a tight five a strong five yeah yeah yeah well what a great audience what a great audience this is from chad's perspective keep saying i ran from you where are you ha doom so this is chad's version of he pretended his mic didn't work so now he's across the street from mersh's house and mersh sleeps late everyone knows that he's up all night so mersh is sleeping at this time i guarantee it and chad's going now who's the pussy. What?

Wait, does this guy have fucking wired in AirPods? Yeah, he's got earbuds. Jesus Christ. You don't think that's a good like? You know, it just shows the state of affairs. Those are the ones that come with the phone. Right. Yeah. That's true. That's a good point.

Huh, Doom? I thought I was scared of Merge. I'm right outside his house. It's right there. That's his house. The thing that people think you're scared of is being funnier than Mersh. This is the guy who lost to Ray DeVito in that roast battle they did on MLC

a couple years ago. And he didn't kill himself? Right. He's still pissed, obviously. I would just change professions immediately. I'm not as comedian. I get it. I'll do something else. Because split

shit hole. I mean, Mersh is broke. He's poor. That mother... Chin recently moved into his girlfriend, apparently. Although, who knows if that's even true, or even has a girlfriend, because he's up Saturday night streaming by himself,

which, you know, when you're living with a girl, is usually frowned upon. But, I don't know. Fuckers, poor. He's a public figure. Mersh is a streamer. Google him. He's a public figure.

This isn't Doxton. so he's seeing the pushback in the chat right now like what the fuck are you doing why would you do this to this guy and chad's going no no no it's okay you're allowed to people's houses if they're semi-famous on the internet oh is that the rule good to know take a note of that yeah chad you've gone too far no i i he he said i ran from them and i'm scared of him i'm not i'm here i'm in his home The only person who would be concerned about Chad being close to outside of his house is Vito just Waldie.

Vito would lose his fucking mind over this. There's a guy outside my house who knows I live here. Get me my bluey shirt. Stutter John didn't take it well either. That's true. Chad did go to John's house. When John wasn't home, Chad knew he wasn't going to be home. And he posted a sign on John's door.

And then John called the cops. I hate the dabble verse lately. It's gotten so stupid. Wait, so you're telling me this is supposed to be happening in Florida and no Florida man shit is happening? Right? I'm severely disappointed. There should be a stand your ground thing going on here. At least a shot in the sky to, you know, warn them or something.

Shot in the yard, boogie style even, you know? That's right. Yeah, shoot it towards a school like boogie did. Come out. Who's he talking to? He's literally across the highway from his house going, come out. He can't hear you.

Come on, Murs. Come out. What a pussy. I'm not going anywhere. No shit in life. Thank you, Hoh, Hung, for the 299. Yeah, I'll gladly accept Super Chats for doing this, for putting my life on the line.

What a loser. Fuck you. Jesus, he sucks so bad. Although, it would have been pretty funny to watch him get smoked over $2.99. That would have been great. The one pun says, Mersh confirmed he woke up about an hour ago. So Mersh slept for hours after this happened.

Jesus Christ. An idiot. I'm on a street. Call the police. What are you going to do? I'm just here to see how funny he is. That's all I'm doing. Then set it up in a count.

Comedy club. I haven't threatened them. I said, come out and be funny. Is that how it works? Can people go to Chad's place and say, come out and be funny? Would he be like, that's what I was asking for? Thank you, yes. Here I come.

Please clap. Yeah, he should be the change he wants to see in the world. That's, I think, what we're all trying to say here. That's a very good point. Thank you. Please clap. I force applause breaks. I force them.

Some people earn them. I force them. That's from Jed's stand-up special. Jesus. He said I was scared of him. I was proving I'm not. He's further away from the house. So far.

I'm obviously not afraid of him. Does this walk back home? Yeah. How are you going to spin this? How are you guys going to spin that I'm scared of them? how are you going to spin this? Thank you for the 99 cents. La.

I can't imagine why people hate you. Yes, I don't give a fuck. Oh, yeah. You're so badass walking around to the neighborhood. Also, this is clearly giving a fuck. Yes, it's nothing but giving a fuck. Going to the guy's house and going, I'm not scared of you. Come out.

I try to write the narrative. I make the narrative. more like near do well go merge what is it about telling that these comedians that they aren't funny that they're like i'm funny i'm funny it's all fucking day long i'm the funniest mother and it's like okay dude like yeah they they want to fight they're like i'll show you all fucking funny i am like that's not funny at all come man what's not funny about what i'm doing everything i do is funny i'm the funniest guy around right you're not laughing no you're not being funny at all actually if chad couldn't fight that would be really funny that would be funny yeah

That would be fun. There's no way, Chad knows. There's no way Mersh is awake at this hour. He just super Chattatuckie earlier. He's up. Nope. Also, this is the guy who doesn't care. He's watching everything.

He's watching me dabbling live. He's, oh, Mersh is doing this thing. I'm going to go do that. And he didn't, but it's like, some acting like you don't care. That's all you're consumed with. Thank you Olive Army for the 99 cents

Every super chat is 99 cents Jay Mo the link Now Jay Mo's good Chad admit this vacfired How did it backfire I'm here What do you mean how to it backfire You look ridiculous

Everyone's making fun of you Ched admit this backfire How did it backfire I'm here I said I was coming I warned him I told everyone to tell him and he won't come out I warned him

I told everyone to tell him he knows I'm here he knows I'm here I'm getting DMs of people saying I'm here there's the proof he must know that because you got a diab of people saying

that you're there well did you pick up on his mannerisms just now he watched that car drive by and go silent like he was about to get shot at or something he's very he's like paranoid to be out there it is a valid concern in Florida well in Florida yes

that's what I'm saying though he's like I'm not afraid of shit I don't give him a fuck and then it's like he watches the car pass and then they finishes afterward it's like you're not like yeah it's like watching a scared dog do you think this is is the point where

Zumach's realizing there's no payoff for this and this is backfiring. We're just like, oh, the chat's making fun of me and nothing's happening. This isn't building to anything. Yeah, right. Like, what did you think this was going to be? At least leave a sign about Mersh's trans kid on his door or something.

Florida is a stand your ground, go home. Yeah, I'm not on his property. Thank you for the... Well, then why are you guys like a tough guy? You wouldn't even go on his property and fucking ring the doorbell? Look at how tough I have. I'm standing way across the street.

And I won't even go read the door about. The 99 cents. He-ho Hugh. Comedy joke off. Yes, it's a comedy joke off. Let's go. All right. Well, thank you for Pest for putting that together for us.

We don't have to watch the entire stream. Of Shed it embarrassing himself. That is pretty fucking embarrassed. The fact that there's more that's probably like silence. and just him walking around and, like, repeating the same shit is just, like, even worse. And it's so pathetic because he's asking for superchats as it's going on. So that's really what this is about. It's not about proving he's funnier than Mersh or standing his ground.

It's just a stunt where he knew nothing would happen. He was hoping people would give him more than 9-9 cents in 299. It's crazy because I've watched beggars on the side of freeway off-ramps make more fucking money in less time than this asshole probably makes all day. I've seen beggars be funnier. That is true. You know what I mean? I've seen signs that are funnier than anything Chad's ever said. Yeah.

So, yeah, it's pretty pathetic. When you're flying Emirates business class, dining on a world-class menu at 40,000 feet, you'll see that your vacation isn't really over until your flight is over. Fly Emirates. Fly better. This Giving Tuesday, Cam H, is counting on your support. Together, we can forge a better path for mental health by creating a future where Canadians can get the help they need, when they need it, no matter who or where they are. From November 25th to December 2nd, your donation will be doubled.

That means every dollar goes twice as far to help build a future where no one's seeking help is left behind. Donate today at camph.ca.ca. Speaking of Pathetic. The Ops, for the bad, for the bad. For the bad. Bum, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, bah, bah, ba. The Opster was streaming Friday morning at few Friday. And Ron is on there with them.

And they're off to a bad start as Opie goes live. And I guess Ron didn't get the cue. Something light, a very... Ah, I hear you. we are, Ron. Ron's babbling before, you know, the live stream started. Good morning, everybody. Welcome to our live stream. I'm, I'm way out east and right behind me. Hopefully the sun is going to rise over the ocean. I drove all night, Ron. So it kind of proves that Ron's just babbling to Opie and Opie's like trying to like get him to stop because we can go

live. This isn't a show. No. You're just watching two guys have a conversation when they both should probably be in bed. The sun's not even up yet. Now, you'll have to forgive me because I haven't seen either of these guys in a while, obviously not personally, but Opie looks like shit these days, man. Yeah, and Opie's not usually front-lit. So because the sun isn't up yet, you're actually getting to see what Opie looks like. Jesus.

Yeah, it's not great. But, you know, he was driving all night, and so he didn't get a lot of sleep because he had to get out to his house in the Hamptons. We're going to find out why, but first he slips when he explains that he's all the way out in the Hamptons. I met, dude, I thought you were on 72nd Street on the Hudson River. No, no, we're, we're, we're, well, I'm out east. I'm out east. We're out, I mean, I'm out east.

Now, there's a theory going around. I think Adam Bush might have coined this one. opi's family's gone and so opi has to pretend that he's with his family and that he's doing something with his daughter and it's her birthday and it's his wife's anniversary

and all these events that are happening with family members immediate family members always and then he slipped up there because he the story's going to be that he went out there by himself but he goes we're out east I mean I'm out east

because he's so used to pretending the family's with him I think that was a slip up I'll be interested to see what I'm sure Anna's watching this. So we're just to see what Adam thinks about that on Wednesday's show. But we're going to find out why he decided to go to the Hamptons this weekend. You know, he got to, it was late Thursday night.

He drove all the way out there from Manhattan. And there's a reason. You know, so the excuse this time for me, because I want to be out here literally full time. I want to, I want to be done with that city. I tell, I told the wife, I'm like, hey, I'll go out to the beach and do all the shopping for Thanksgiving. And we'll save a few bucks for real. I'll probably get twice as much for my money out here.

So I jumped in the car. I don't know about at this point three hours ago. So if we're talking about, let's think about this, six-hour round-trip drive, according to Opie, to get from the Upper West Side to the Hamptons in order to save money on groceries. you know any miles it's like a hundred miles that he's driving in order to get each way yeah in order to save money on groceries as anyone believing this is anyone buying this i mean all it does is the poorest man in the world if that makes sense to him and his wife to be like yeah yeah you should definitely drive out to long island as far out to long island as you can go to go buy groceries he could leave New York City to buy groceries.

He owns a car. He doesn't have to go all the way out to the beach house to do this. None of it adds up to me. No, I remember years back he was talking about driving around from gas station to gas station to just save a couple. That's right. And he knows which ones to go to. It's just like, well, that's not now that works because you're in stopping go traffic. Yes.

In order to get from one to the other, you idiot. But he is very stupid. So I don't know how to feel about this. Very stupid and very frugal. Yeah, this one. I, Johnny, you're going to appreciate this clip because, so this is Opie. He's admitting here that he has to do everything for himself because Ron's like, oh, you didn't even go grocery shopping. You wouldn't even know what that's all about.

And Opie's like, well, I mean, these days, actually, I do have to go grocery shopping. And because they're dumb, everything triggers music in their heads. No, I don't have anybody anymore. I'm not going to lie to you in the heyday of Ope and Anthony. Oh, boy, did I have a lot of help. It was absolutely amazing. It was awesome. What's that song?

I've got nobody. Oh, David Lee Roth saying that song. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. How to go? I got nobody. And let's go with that. And nobody loves me. Oh, people love me, Ron.

Not even close. How does it go? I've got nobody. No, no, no, because I've got nobody. No, no, no, no, that's not that. I got nobody. Fuck. It's the classic, like, old guy of, like, man, you know what?

You fucking suck so bad. I'm thinking about David Lee Roth music instead. But the fact that they don't know how that song goes. Right. And open corrects right. Neither of them understand how it goes at all. They both probably have it on record, too. Yes.

I have the 45 behind me over here. Who doesn't have it? that we win who doesn't have DLR in their record collection of course classic so let's talk more about this idea that Opie has to go grocery shopping for himself because he's got

no helpers anymore you know one of the stories in the paper is about humanoid robots and AI that it's advancing very quickly Elon Musk is basically say what was his quote it's going to make traditional work obsolete and I

hold on Can I say one more thing about that? I lived a life with a humanoid robots. I mean, they were real people, but I get living among people or robots that could help you do almost anything. It's a nice life. We can have a nice life, Rod. Opie just admitted, and I'm not surprised by this, but I don't think he realized he did it. He didn't see people as people.

Yeah. He doesn't see people who have less wealth than him as other people. he compared them to robots and we see him interact with people on the streets in Manhattan or street performers and he treats them like shit oh yeah because he's better than them same with black people we've noticed how we asked about black people do having climbed through the ranks starting as a runner i totally have gotten groceries for assholes like him too and it fucking sucks yeah and and now he's sitting there going god i miss the days i can just order people around rather than say like what you'd think oh shit

human being would say. It's just like, I, you know, I took people for granted. And I should not have done that. I didn't realize that at least is like, hey, you know what? There's some sort of like introspection and like, wow, this is how I've been treating people. Like, holy shit. Like, or even like, because I've seen some people like, hey, I got to go get my own groceries again. And like, I didn't realize like how much I actually enjoyed doing it myself. Right. Yeah. I'm going to do this for myself again now. You know, I feel more fulfilled. Just having my intern go and grabs you for me. By the why E. Rock is in the chat here. He said he couldn't do anything for himself ever.

I do Eric would appreciate these clips where OPEs like, yeah, in 2012, I just ordered people around all the time. That makes me fucking sick, man. Dude, that's why everyone hated him because he just took advantage of everything. What a piece of shit. He really is a piece of shit. Does he touch on why he can't afford it anymore? He's talked about that a lot lately, how broke he is.

There's no income coming in. Yeah. And too many podcasts, man. I was actually, I don't know if this is Tell and Telling Tales. of school but i was talking to drew lane on the phone this week and he is mesmerized by opi situations like why is he not selling one of these places how do you how are you cash poor when you're sitting on multi-million dollar homes why would you do that to yourself so we had a whole conversation about that it's the money he saves on groceries right yes it makes it out

worth that yeah yeah iraq in the chat also said you can just drive through the total of new jersey and save on fucking groceries you don't you don't have to go on the way out to the Hapton's so stupid so this gets them into this whole conversation on this this gets wild i am not overselling this ron has a level to him i did not realize existed and ron does say some crazy shit from time to time but this gets nuts they're talking about a i and opi's saying you know ai is eliminating jobs it's going to result in wiping up the middle class and so eventually it's just going to be the elites and the poor because all the jobs done by the middle class, AI is going to take the place.

Now, Ron is a lot more optimistic than that. AI is going to allow humanity to actually explore who they truly are. In other words, you're not going to be tied down to a nine to five manual job. You're actually going to be able to expand your consciousness. You're going to be able to expand humanity because you can focus on whatever you want. So Opie's shaking his head and no this entire time, as Ron's saying this.

And I'm sure he's got a very specific reason why Ron's wrong about that. Ron, I would love to believe you. For real, I would love to believe you. Why not? Why not? Because we always fuck it up. We always fuck it up. No, no, you didn't have a specific reason of all.

He's just a very vague. Yeah, it couldn't be vaguer. Yeah, just, yeah, no, I mean, that could happen, but we'll screw it up somehow. not like uh that's not how i works yeah could have had a real conversation this is fantastic because this is where ron is listening to people who are selling him a bill of goods and he's buying it now there was recently a this conference and ian musk was there presenting and a bunch of guys who were talking about what a i is going to do for us in the future and these robots that are going

make it so that money's obsolete no one has to work anymore or it's going to be a fantastic life and this is what technologists always do they always talk about how like by the way because of my company and technology life is going to be fucking amazing

you know this has been going on since the beginning of time and uh it's like oh go ahead carl yeah yeah go ahead i was going to say it's like since the invention of advertising they're like hey and it's licensed potatoes too it's like the dawn of marketing is just to fucking make shit up

so you buy it and go, hey, that wasn't that great at all. Social media is going to mean you connect with friends and family and, you know, stay connected with them. No, no, it just means we're all going to hate each other. Docks each other. Yeah, but they're like teenage girls are going to off themselves. That's the social media is. Oh, whoops, sorry, we got that one wrong.

So this is Ron talking about what AI is going to do for us. AI through alien technology, which is AI. Right. They will show us how to have unlimited energy, literally through the, through, through air, through the atmosphere. Excuse me. I'm not done. AI will show us how to have an unlimited food supply. So we're going to have unlimited free energy, unlimited free food.

The AI is going to provide that. They're going to clean up our oceans. we're going to have the opportunity to raise our consciousness. Uh-oh, retort alert. Retard alert class. Do you believe in a flying spaghetti monster two, bubblehead? Rod, I guess I'll just live in a virtual house and drive a virtual car then, because AI is just going to provide all the energy and all the food that we need and clean up the oceans.

Wow, AI can do everything out. My mattress will be virtual. it's just so crazy that it's like these people don't even understand like a just like a simple flow chart yeah so to them they're like AI is this like you you put in like a pebble of gold and then a whole gold mine comes out and then you feed that gold mine back in and like 10 gold but it's just like it doesn't fucking work like these are the same people who for a long time thought the word algorithm at technology say they would just say algorithm oh yeah we'll do that with the algorithm now it's AI. Now, if you're just talking about the future, it's like, well, what AI is going to do is

going to do this and this and this, provide free food. So I'm sure, I'm sure Opie's going to go, hold on a second. He's going to have some logic, some reasoning to explain that that doesn't make any sense, Rod. I'm telling you, you're very educated on all this stuff, but humans have a way to screw it up. What? Opie. Rod, you're telling you know what you're talking about. But But I'm telling you, there's one flaw in this. That's the human condition. Is that him? Is that what his conclusion always is when he talks himself in the mirror?

Like, you always screw it up. You always screw it. That's a good point. Yeah, he's very down to himself. He's very pessimistic these days. And then so when it's like, you know, it's like, oh, it's humans that are screwing everything up. It's like, hmm. Yeah, it's not just me.

Yeah. I mean, I've ruined my career and my legacy, but that's what everybody has, right? Yeah. Sure, why not? So he's like, AI, this, AI, that. Like, hey, I need some more guys to do my groceries for me. Yeah, right. Yeah, what's AI going to pay my mortgage?

That'd be nice. All right, so, Ron is out there. So you just heard all these things that Ron said. And I don't understand how any of that happens. Maybe in the sales pitch, they explained it a little bit better than Ron did. But listen to this. There are 11 families that control everyone on earth. That's about right.

There are, there are, no, this is what DG say. There are 11 families. I think that's about right, because I'm not talking to the ETs. And every time I ask you, where's the ETs, where are you getting this info? Do they have a TikTok account? Do they have an Instagram account? This is just, where are you getting this info? Is it on a website, Ron?

Bashar, channeled by Gerald Anka. He's been doing it for 30 fucking years. This is as legit as it gets. Where is he? Where, like has anyone? Facebook, Instagram. But you're saying he's an alien, right? Yeah.

Yes. It's not just him. It's human psychics. They're all saying the same thing. They're all connected. All right. Is anyone here familiar with Bashar and Darrell Anka? Unfortunately enough.

The channel for Bashar. Okay. So according to, the interwebs. Bashar is a multidimensional being from the future who teaches principles for creating reality. It's been doing this for 30 years. Johnny, you look like you're not a believer. What's going on?

Well, I'm laughing because I'm thinking of everyone who's about to be enlightened. You know, I'm sharing in the joy of all these other, of everyone else who's about to become believers. Good, good, because I learned some facts and no knowledge of previous. listening to Ron the waiter on this episode. Yeah. Earth is the only this is everyone says the same thing, the psychics, the ETs. Earth is the only planet that has wood. Apparently wood is the most valuable thing in the universe and diamonds is very common. How do we how do we? Because wood, the biological structure of wood is so advanced, so unique. All right. But what is desirable throughout the

universe. All right. So I've never heard this before. I'm sorry if I'm slow. I'm late to this one. John, have you heard this theory? Yeah. So one of the creeps I follow, she's this really narcissistic mom who thinks her child is a star seed. Okay. And her kid, she films her kid saying all this retarded shit. And she's like, yeah, see, my son's really an alien. This is, I'll send you the clips. But one of his talking points. I want that for her these socials. That'd be great, actually. I'll send it to you. Yeah. Yeah, but she talks about like, well, she films her kid and her kid's like, well, we're the only thing with wood in the whole solar system and all this shit. And I'd laugh and I'm like, wow, these aliens are not beating the gay allegations. First, they want shit up your butt and then they want your wood too. Yeah, that's a good point. I was wondering, though, if wood is so desirable, wouldn't the aliens be here harvesting it? Yeah, we'd be out of wood by now.

Yeah, like lumberjacks would be like, what the fuck? Where'd up I would go? Your panelling would be gone. Oh, my gosh, you do imagine? Wouldn't sound as good down here. would it be a little more echoy. When you wake up as a pioneer man and your whole town has gone?

This is what I mean. You know, you see the cattle mutilation all the time. You're like, oh, they must really like hamburgers. That makes sense. hamburgers are delicious. Yeah. But, you know, I don't see that like taking force at a time. They could be if they wanted to. Yeah, didn't realize the aliens were Japanese

and Irish wood carving experts. Apparently that's the case. And Opie has questions. He's not leaving it, and rightfully so. How do you know we're the only planet that has wood? That's ridiculous. There's billions of planets out there. There's another planet with wood.

No. Because that's what Basha says, and that's what other, and that's what other chandler say. Oh, Bishar says it and other channelers. Well, then it must be true. We got to make a crossover called Bashar, man. Oh, I would do that. I'm going to do it interstellar

dar man lessons yes that's actually a really smart idea it'd be like a sci-fi darman yeah it's just it's all dar man videos but everyone has antennas I like it they're all carrying sticks

you know what I have you see this wood so obi has no concept of the universe at all he goes there's billions of planets the observable universe has two trillion galaxies And there's hundreds of billions of planets in our galaxy alone. So billions, yeah, that is true.

Right. There's dozens also. Yeah, there's also dozens. There's got to be at least 10. Yeah. So stupid. How do you know that's true, Ron? Oh, but he doesn't.

It's a very ridiculous thing to say. It's so stupid. But no, Ron has a reason for knowing that it has to be true. All right, Ron. And by the way, Bashar and Dillar, they've been doing this for like three. 40 years like this is legit stuff all right all right any anyways but what they say and you actually agree with we're we're getting there are 11 families that control we're getting this is not a podcast this is like this is like where i used to call his pot talk rod all right so they've been doing

it for 30 or 40 years so it has to be legitimate of course you know grifters have like a 10 to 15-year run, and then they go away, as everyone knows. Well, Ron's been doing open mics for 40 years. Yeah, right. He's got to be funny, right? He's really good at it. Billy Graham was doing it for a really long time, so that must all be legit. Now, we've had a lot of speculation that eventually Ron the waiter will end up on who are these podcasts.

And now I see a reason why I want him on who are these podcasts. Because I thought he was just kind of an annoying guy who can't get his Boston accent figured out. But actually, if we can get a moment. on and take him seriously with all this Bashar's stuff and learn more about his beliefs on that, that could be an interesting segment. Yeah. So last clip I have on here is Elon Musk claims to be a space alien. And why not?

I want to believe you. All I know is that Elon Musk, who's going to be the first trillionaire, by the way, he's going to be a fucking trillionaire, our first trillionaire on Earth. Elon Musk says he's an alien trying to get back home. home. So there you go. That's on public record. No, we're all aliens trying to get back home. That's why we're so uptight on this planet. It couldn't be more obvious. We don't belong here. That's why we all look up in the stars and go, oh, look, that's where all from. I want to get back there.

Okay. What opi is describing right now is Scientology. Is opi a Scientologist? Isn't that the whole backstory? Is it the souls of the space aliens were put in humans? It's kind of like a limbo here. yeah we're all trying to like get out of that and go back home watching them as like a tale of two cities it's like both are so equally and exponentially wrong but like somehow the same end of the horseshoe right right yeah it's like far left and far right yeah um all right well i love ron now that's great yeah he killed it on this episode so ron keep uh watching all your bachar darrell anka style and report back to us on what's really going on. And he probably right about 11 families controlling the world. I believe all of that. That's probably correct.

I'd love to know which 11 families. And it's specifically, he wants to get that info back to us. I'm surprised that Opie wasn't curious. He's like, yeah, that sounds right. I'd be like, which families? Yeah. 11 families or 11 herbs and spices? I can't recall.

Yeah, right. I know. It's interchangeable sometimes. If I was Ome, be like, okay, the Rothschild, I know that. What else you got? Nothing else? All right. Yeah.

The other 10. Fuck. And I'm confused. All right. Producer Chris was checking out our friend French Hano. Oh, yes. You say yes. You say yes.

Yes. Yes. Yes. And on French's world on French's YouTube channel, she's been doing this new thing where she's doing food reviews. Yeah. And it's not like good food. No.

It's things like gas station. chickens. Yeah, I figured you'd go there. Yep. This latest one has 13 views. It's from three days ago. And this is a little bit different. And I'll let Frenchie tell us what this is, because she does a much better job presenting this than I ever could.

Yes, it's me, French. And I'm back at it again with another video. So you guys, right here is what I have in here in these plastic are these paper wraps and bags. I

have this place called Cuban Cuban Dad Cubini Dad Cubini Dad Cubney Dad What are you

Strange like names for a restaurant And yes you guys Yes And this came out to

1979 $973 $19. $17.73 $7. cents with this came out to her notes are literally just the receipt yeah

it's worse than Patrick Michael reading the IMDB page for a movie she's just like and I purchased it a 247 and I paid cash now you'll have to forgive me Carl because I've only listened when you've covered the Frenchi Hana segments I didn't realize she actually looks like Frenchie's monster

yes Frenchie is jacked Jesus what a forehead on that one is a trans woman who would beat the fuck out of me. Yeah, imagine it's like an ediamine levels of being all bone from the neck up. That is impressive. So is it Cubana dad?

Yes. She could not figure that out. No. She had a really hard time with that. There's this Japanese show where they're all sitting in like a classroom. It's a comedian's in a classroom. And then there's another comedian who tries to read English, but he can't read English. So it's him stuttering trying to like repeat a word and mispronouncing it.

And that's exactly what this feels like right now. And English is her first language, Johnny. She was from, she's from SoCal. She moved to Las Vegas from SoCal. She chooses some challenging restaurants because she was doing that Bulgogi place, but it was called Bulldoggy. So it's like a mashup kind of like, too bad.

It's like, just go to McFuckermanuts or whatever, you know? Yes. I try out, there's this place. Wind, wind, wind, wendies? Yeah, I'm waiting for some asshole and a plastic sword to come out and beat my ass for laughing. All right, so let's find out what you got. And this right here is there. Go back to the receipts.

Is there impanata? And then I got impanato chicken right here. And I got their pan. Imagine just memorizing the two things you bought. I know. You know, you don't know you have a chicken epinada. She's like, oh, hold on a second. What the fuck is this thing?

That's what's so amazing. In my notes, it says French, he takes notes. And I just want to point out, reading is not her strong story. And I got... So you'd think that she'd memorize this stuff just for that reason alone. Right. I'm waiting for her to take the empanada and pett its little head in of mice and men style. Yes.

There, Pan, Pankon, Briss. Brist dick. Right here. Right here. This is the empanada. A bristick. Sounds delicious. Is I'm a bristick, please?

Yeah. Hebrew parties are we? I didn't know if she meant Visteka or brisket. I don't know either. Yeah. Well, it's neither, according to her. Yeah, let me get some bristick.

That's crazy. Let's hear that again. Pancon, brisk. Bristick. Right here, right here. This is the impanado. Right here. Yes, you guys.

This is what I got. Right here. It looks like French you caught it. It looks wildly mediocre. That's the most mediocre looking food I've ever seen in my life. If I got that from a fast food place, I'd be like, there. You'd be craving gas station. I probably would, actually, if that were the kids.

guys um do you want to set up this next clip i found this to be hilarious what was she talking about where she gets into that she's a YouTuber yeah she took a break from the review rather suddenly just to talk about her platform loyalty so let's let her speak for her self the big new wave like no like don't get wrong i dig and dab in it yes i will be streaming here and there but I am a YouTuber at the end of the day you guys

I am a YouTuber at the end of the day I would never forget what brought me to where I'm at right now you guys like I'm forever a YouTuber

hands down you and me both Frenchy fuck rumble I know I thought she was going away that's so funny I'll never forget what brought me here. This video has 13 views, and two of them are producer Chris.

Yes, it's true. I don't know why she felt the need to interrupt her own video to, because she felt pressure from some faction of people out there. Yeah, you're going to post this on Instagram? Fuck, no, I won't. That's right. This is exclusive to YouTube, this content right here. All right, just checking.

Impressive. We appreciate it. So, she finally gives a rating. in your review. So this is new. Good. I want to know like how good

was the food on some type of scale that's numeric. Yeah, other than yes and good. Right. Let's see. And has like

vegetables in it. Add onions and lettuce in it. Ugh. Mm. Yeah. What I feel like I'm at a zoo right now?

It's feeding time? Gross. Well, I feel like we're watching the first lobotomy patient trying to eat for the first time. I know. It's not great. We're not far from that. 6.3.

And now it's a four. And that's a triangle. And that's potato. Well, at least she has enough wherewithal to get decimals, right? So here's the problem with decimals. We get the 6.3 and 4.0. It's not a scale of 100. is what you're actively doing.

Yes, actually, yes. So you're going to get down to it's 63 out of 100. And a regular ass four. Yeah, and 40. And a sturdy four after that. Also, I mean, it's nitpicky at this point, but you don't have to keep tasting something. You've already tasted it. You're giving a review.

You don't have to keep eating it out of your show to prove anything. That's a really good point. Like a wine taster, just like, no, this one. I'm really digging it. Give me the bottle. Man, one of my favorite channels before he changed his ways was this guy, Nick the smoker, and he would just sit in his car in his garage and just smoke a whole pack of cigarettes and just review him. But instead of taking a hit or two, he would just smoke the whole pack and bullshut you the whole video.

And it was awesome. What kind of cigarettes was he reviewing? Was it like Indian Reservation cigarettes and stuff? For everything from like Red Suns to just you name it, just all, every cigarette. What's a cigarette kind of sewer? I've never even heard of that. I don't think he was a connoisseur. I think he's just a guy who likes to smoke cigarettes.

He's like, you better stop smoking. It's my job. Yeah, he found a way to monetize it. Well, so in the same way, it's like, oh, I'm doing a food review. It's like, you're just eating lunch and talking to a camera. That's not a review. Also, I'm hungry, okay? Yeah.

Christian Blatt says, hypothetical question. If someone had French he's contacted info, would it be worth getting her avails for April 10th through 12th, you know, hypothetically. My instinct says it's a bad idea, but. Is that? Yeah. Let's have a meeting. Yeah, we will. Let's have a meeting with the great Christian.

I would definitely meet up with her outside of Hackomania. No, no, no, no. We're hanging out with her. She's on stage. Oh, I might hang with her on my time off. Okay, that's fine. If that's what you want to do with your time off, that's crazy. We'll find another unpronounceable restaurant together.

My number five. It's Whit Castile. Uh, in my number five, she starts to wrap up the show and then, uh, she just has a panic. Yeah, a little panic. Panic sets in there. Oh, my gosh. I don't even have a thumbnail. Oh, my gosh.

I don't have a thumbnail. No. I'll find it. I'll find it. I'll find it. While I'm editing this video, I'm going to find it. Best and believe that. Yeah, isn't that usually when you make a thumbnail?

Yes. When you're done creating the video? Did she want, like, a photo of the restaurant or something that she didn't take? Is that what the problem was? No, that was at the beginning. Oh, so she did have that. So the thumbnail is her eating a giant bite of food, and then the photos of the food she took on either side of her.

Correct. And she had a packet tag. She didn't have a thumbnail? It's like, you have all the footage. You can make any thumbnail you want. But allegedly, she does the editing. She says she does. Yeah.

Interesting to note. Yeah. Yeah, that was a weird panic that she didn't have a thumbnail. And you're right, you don't have to leave that part in either. No. It's so hard to clip these because it's... Nonsense? It's hilarity for 30 minutes, man.

This is 30 minutes this video? Yeah. Oh, yeah. So announcing the end of the video, let's just wrap things up here. This is the end of the video right here. Thank you for coming in, stopping by. Watching this, uh, Mookbong. Or how do people say, oh, it's not called Mookbong, it's Mook Bang.

I honestly didn't know she was trying to say Muckbang. The first time was Mubb. Like, what? What am I watching? It's Mook Bang. I just love the, and this is the end of the video. It's, she may as well have said, hi, I'm Frenchihanna, and this is how I talk. Like, it's very, it's very, like.

Okay, like make sure you hit all these points and then like. She's amazing. Yeah. Let's get those 13 views up, God damn it. I think she might have that car accident. I think I might have done some permanent damage. Let's keep making fun of her. Yeah.

Let's never stop making fun of her. Just unbelievable. Fun stuff. I was checking out my buddy, stuttering John from yesterday. Before we get into a yesterday show with Clay, Clay Day, John was at his buddy's house on the East Coast. goes to Florida on Thursday. And so he's out on his screen porch doing a show from there.

And it got real dark out. He didn't have lights and he's wearing all black. And when I tell you that John is a child, and the best way to understand why John does what he does is to realize he's seven years old, I think this is a prime example of just that. You dumb fucks? I like how this looks

like I have a floating head and how it's so dark Ooh I remember this episode of McLeod or no McMill and wife where they would have a seance

and there was a head just floating in the air Ooh Assistant to Mr. Bessie boss and biceps looking good I think so thank you cracket

and Bob you're welcome look and just keep me he's a child watch this boom but thank you yes I work hard

at my body keeping in stellar shape for the ladies yes you do Jed. Yes, you do. That, Carl, you should have warned me that I was going to die inside a little watching that, watching him go

from making a silly, like, face that you would make to stop a baby from crying, and then, like, sitting up and, like, being serious, like, uh, uh, actually. And it's just like, oh. Oh, for crying out loud. He's amusing himself, just like, hey, look, you can't even tell him that my head's attached to my body

right now. Whoa. But we do have a show to do. Yeah. And by the way, shit way, I'm going to sue the fuck out of you know what are we doing that's serious like you weren't supposed to see that anyway um i want to give a shout out to liquid cryptid what's liquid cryptid because this channel is starting to put up john's full-length shows with the live chat scroll on it too because john takes all this stuff down so it's about time someone started doing this it's great you just heard john say that he's staying in shape for the ladies

Zach was at John's show at the Stress Factory last month and took a bunch of photos of John. Let's see what John's looking like these days. Capted in shape over here. Yep, yeah. And this is a, oh, yeah, he's not fat at all. Fat fuck. Jesus Christ.

Terrible. Wow. It's not as bad as it was for the Tonight Show, 10-year reunion party, but it's not great either. Is he trying to get a part on the Sopranos or something? It looks like it, yeah. His character's name would be fat fuck.

He should seriously consider salads. This is just a fun thing that happened the other day when, you know, John has his buddies who watch the show, like Vegas beer sales and Ava, when Ava's not on, and probably Ditka. There's certain people who are texting him during the show

to give him information, which he appreciates. But then sometimes it gets annoying for him. Whatever stream he's doing, I'm buffering nonstop and I can't handle it. You could, no, bring it back.

I like watching you yell at him because it's good to see you. No, I can. It kept buffering. Like, whatever stream he's using is, you know, it was, Jerry, I knew that.

Thank you. I just hate being dinged every second. People, I love my friends. I do, and I'm not mad, and I just can't handle it. I was guilty. The timing is perfect. Everybody's dinging me, and I can't take it.

Stop it. Oh, yeah. Stop it. I'm trying to fucking do a show. You're annoying me. And I know you're my goddamn friends. Just stop. it.

John can't be bothered to figure out a way to turn off the notification bell. All of us get to, I've gotten seven texts in the last 30 seconds. I feel it going off of my pocket. Sorry about that. It's not, well, that you? I'm doing a show. I know you're my friend, but stop it. All of us have figured out a way to not have text messages ding loudly over broadcasting.

John's only only only can't figure it out. And then he yells at the people who are giving them information trying to help him with the show. and not only is it a ding it's a ding that's so fucking loud it's coming from every direction all at once yeah oh it's it's louder than anything else that's going on uh yeah fudgeicle coming in here with uh liquid cryptid is an awesome new youtube channel the post john's deleted shows definitely go there and subscribe to that and i appreciate the service uh he'll probably get i'm sure john'll go after him in no time so john's on his show yesterday morning friday not

morning. I'm thinking of Opie. Yesterday afternoon into the evening. And we're talking about Vince the lawyer. Now, John had a copyright strike this past week. And while he was live on his show, it just got cut and it's gone. And it says this has been taken down for a copyright claim by John Edward Melendez. So it seemed like he copyright claimed himself. And because of that, because it said John Edward Melendez, a lot of people were speculating that, It was Vince the lawyer who did it because Vince the lawyer always includes John's middle name whenever he's referring to John. And so people are asking John, like, do you think Vince did that to you?

Bayou Blue. Yeah, a lot of people do believe it was Vince that struck me. But I don't know. I mean, Vince is a weirdo, but I don't know if he's that weird. Vince sued John for $12.5 million last year. But he wouldn't strike my channel, right? I mean, that was a long time ago, Carl. That'd be really weird.

I mean, he's weird. I mean, he's not that weird. So that's him at the beginning of the show, talking to the chat. I don't think Vince did it. Later on, Clay comes on, and he's got a completely different take on it. If it's him that's doing this shit, which I'm thoroughly believes, and I do, you know, well, everyone thought it was Vince because it said struck by John Edward. I remember, um, uh, Melendez. Your name.

It's crazy that people can just put anyone's name in there. Yeah, this is striking. Cam Conner, this is what I'm talking about. I mean, this is what Vince does. Vince is a scumbacks. When you ask me, Clay, why is Vince dead to me? That's why. Because he does shit.

That's really, that's not right. So he did do that too, John? I'm confused. Seems like he's, you know, Ava said that it was probably events. I'm digging that shitty mustache. He's starting to look like John Cutwaters over here. I know.

The way his facial hair grows in, and he's very unkempt from time to time. She probably probably probably probably says a mask that Clay is wearing. No shit. You look better. So he's very confused, but he did say that Vince the lawyer is dead to him again. And Clay even laughed at him.

He's just like, okay, yeah, he's dead to you like, no, this time I meet it. Okay. It happens. So repetitively, I didn't even pull the clips. You can imagine what that was all about. Oh, and Fudgeicle was reporting on today's show, John sent the link to Vince. It's all so stupid.

I can't even report on it anymore. Who cares? People aren't retarded. But if you remember, the last time we heard anything about Clay, Clay was pissed at John. Because Friday is Clay Day. That's when Clay comes on the show. And for Clay, it's Friday night. So he plans on being with John.

probably go out with friends and get some food or go out and watch a game or something. But no, no, no, no. He's going to be home and do a show with John. And John didn't give him the heads up that he had Adam Hinnaker as a guest on the show and never gave Clay the link. And if you remember, John goes, listen, I have a lot of shit going on. I don't have a producer. I'm just a one man running a show. Clay's all mad at me, but it's like, what am I supposed to do?

I thought maybe I told him he wasn't going to be a guest. But I don't know. He seems very upset about it. So finally, Clay's back on the show to hash all of this out. Again, I'm sorry about the not giving you the heads up the other than last week. I know you got very upset with me, but you must know that I'm a one-man show here. I have no producers. I just do everything on my own, and sometimes I forget.

Well, let's forget. And then it's just ignore a man. How did I ignore you? I apologize at 15 times. Well, I messaged you, I think, on the Monday, because I saw you was looking a bit down. And I said, saying, like, oh, don't let the punk skip you down, Johnny Boy, ignored,

which is fine, it didn't warrant a response. And then I saw you get disconnected with the egg, and I said, you, uh, John, did you get disconnected? Like, being monetized? And then I said, was it because they thought the egg was a sexual, all your lips or something like that? No, all ignored, all ignored. And then I think I said to you on the Thursday, John, are you demonetize?

Am I coming on tomorrow? And then I checked myself and saw you wasn't demonetized and said, oh no, don't worry. You're not demonetized. Still no response for everyone coming on on Thursday. And then on the Friday at like half an hour before the show, is it Clay Day? Ignored. So poor Clay, messaged him on Monday, messaged him on Thursday. I think there was a Wednesday message in there, Friday, for sure.

And John's going, how can I possibly know to remember to let you know if you're doing the show or not? I'm just one guy. This, not having a producer excuse is so meaningless. It has nothing to do with anything. Let's find out whose fault this is. But John didn't see all these messages. Actually, you know what? I'll go around the room.

What did John say next? Mr. Chris, whose fault do you think it is that he didn't see these messages that Clay was sending all week long? the trolls. Johnny, have a guess on who this might be? You know what? I'll go ahead and say Vince the lawyer, even. All right.

Let's find out. Clay, could I just, and I swear it on my life, I'll show you a lie. I'll take a screenshot. For some reason, whatever Elon Musk did with Twitter, I don't get notified that you DM me. The answer was Elon Boss.

I know you guys did not expect that one. We've been talking about Elon Musk a lot today, so I'm surprised. that wasn't top of mind. I'll be getting notified. Kiki fucking DMs, yeah? No, I don't. In fact.

I was going to say, but you know, like I said, I've used that tactic on women where I just ignore them and shins all those you don't want. That's hilarious. So Clay's not buying this. It's like, I bet it was a hot chick. You want to see the DM. Any chick.

Yep. And he also goes, and by the way, I also know how to ghost people. I'm very familiar with what you're doing. Yeah. It's effective. Yes, I get it. You don't like me. And jazz goes, no, no, no, no, no.

on Musfo. I didn't see that you DM'd me. And again, going back to this theme that John's a child, he has to prove that he doesn't see DMs or notification that he's got a DM. Hold on my life that for some reason on Twitter now, they don't let me know when somebody DMs me. And I don't know why. So for instance, Disco Bob Ruzak always DMs me. I never. know until like until i finally check my chat i click on chat and i see all these fucking dms i haven't acknowledged yeah well a week come on but anyway see those faces chad's making he's like i swore my life clay what else you want from me it's surely that's worth something yeah it's such a weird thing to say too i swear in my life i'm not

getting notifications yeah i have my notifications turned off too A lot of people do. It'd be annoying if I was, my phone was digging every time. I got a DM on Twitter. Such an asshole. Oh, and earlier, yeah, to your point of what, what matters to John, what doesn't? Like, he's like, I apologized a bunch, you know? Right.

It's like, that is his commodity. Yeah. Yeah, he goes, I told you I didn't know about it. I apologized a bunch. You're like, well, neither those things could act, but okay, whatever. Just excuse me, he's just throwing everything at the wall. Elon must didn't tell me and I didn't know. and I thought I already told you,

because that's the next thing is coming up. Later on in the show, they're buddies again. They're having a good time. And they go back to this thing where Clay never got the link. Plus.

Clay, I love you. And I'm sorry. But I did really want to get in. Oh, do you know, I was literally, dude, I was sitting there like this, mate. I have my mask on, sitting in front of my phone at this.

I know. And then it was like, yeah, bring on my guest. I thought I told you the other dude was. Didn't I say that they postponed until next week? No, no, you didn't. And then I saw you asking them on Twitter, so I kind of maybe had an inkling.

So this is great. John doesn't know what excuse to have. It's like I didn't see it. I don't get notifications. Elon Musk, Paul. Did I tell you, though? I think I probably told you about that. He's also asking if he responded to certain tweets.

Like, it's all there in the thread, John. You can see. Did I respond when you sent me that one, DM? No, you didn't. it's very proof it's receipts it's very obvious what's going on yeah he also threw in i fucked up which goes against everything he's been saying oh you can't figure it out yeah he wants to take responsibility then he doesn't want to think responsibility i just don't want you mad mm-hmm that is what it all comes up i want to keep abusing you yeah yeah can you just

shut up about it i got an idea how about you just shut up about it and we move on um has been going on on these dates lately. And what happened earlier this week is he drove really far to the east coast of Florida to go out of the date with some chicky men on an app or something. And he says there was no chemistry and they didn't hit it off.

And so he went back to his hotel room by himself and streamed for three hours from his hotel room. Nasty Neil came on. It was a whole thing. But it was really funny to hear him talk about how yeah, you know, this girl, she wasn't that hot. And I don't know.

It wasn't really working out. She probably ghosted him or she did a thing where she, like, walked by the table and went, oh, no, nope. Because I can only imagine what headshots he's using at these data gaps and what he looks like now. She went into the kitchen pretended you worked there. She started watching dishes. Yeah, they're like, hey, aren't you dancing? Nope.

I've been here 12 years. So John's getting very desperate. And so he's got a new angle on how he's going to get laid. How have you been anywhere? How is your date? Sucked. Oh, really? Waste of time. No chemistry. Oh, damn it. You traveled all that way.

But I have another girl that I once was with in high school, and she's divorced now, and I'm flying her out here. Oh, God's going to cost you more money. I don't care. Did you send me a DM? Okay. John's 60 years old. and he's now fishing from high school, the high school pool, to try to get laid. Flying her out. Flying her out to Cape Coral to bang the girl he hooked up with in 1982. Hasn't talked to her face to face.

Nope. Just she's coming over. Well, it's a commendable thing that he would provide a free vacation for a geriatric lady somewhere. I know. What is he doing? he's not doing flying bitches out is what rappers do that's like what that's like ditting shit right there yeah gonna fly her out and some male prostitutes and have the beat off in her face for me all right hope you like piss play it's happening to some wild shit these days you know i was a celebrity well that's all

john could probably afford afterward too and yeah and he's probably not ejaculating at his age so he's probably just that's how he finishes like girl he has an alcoholic so Yeah. Now, we've been following this pretty closely because John had that one girlfriend and then it turned out that was fake, the Vietnamese chick, he had all these different girls he talks about fucking. And then he forgets that he said he got laid and he's like, oh, I finally got laid for the first time. And that's the lie too. So in my estimation, and I believe this to be true, John hasn't gotten laid definitely since he moved to Florida a couple years ago. But very likely going back to when he was on Stephanie Miller, I'm thinking it was.

been 10 years since John has gotten late it seems that way just so how desperate he is how hard up every time he goes on a show he's hitting on everyone talking about sex this is crazy it's it's not it's not the way a guy acts who's getting some you know you're a little bit cool you know you don't seem so desperate you get a little bit cooler about it well then to keep being like well this is the first time i got laid admitted it's like but you said that last year like ah well i was uh and it's like he shut the fuck you've been bragged about a threesome at one point you're like John, slow your roll, buddy. You jerked off to a porny light.

I get it. Yeah, three of them. So Clay has a fantastic question. And I love this because Clay gets a jabbit. I don't know if John registered it. Would you say you're a sexaholic? Yes. That thing.

Must be hard when you're not getting any. Yes. Yes. I do. enjoy sex a haul it's one it's my biggest addiction put it that way more than beer yes absolutely absolutely and but the only thing is i don't i'm not going to pay for it i guess we all pay for it in the end but i'm not going to one way or the other pain yeah i'm not going to hire a problem john just said he's more addicted to sex and he is alcohol with a straight face

Or whatever that. A gay face. Whatever that changes. I love the claimant's like, that must be tough, you're not getting any of that. Having that addiction. They'd be like me saying that I'm a crackhead.

Yeah, I was like high school. He should say he's a recovered sex holiday. He cured himself. But yeah, I don't know of a single crackhead that's ever gone more than an hour without crack. It's usually spark up and then start scheming.

Okay, what do we steal the next? because it's like, I've talked about this on the dick show before, too, is even the Pope, right? Think of the most devout person you could possibly imagine. Even the Pope is probably like, you know, I don't think God is real. I'm sure he has those days, right? Right. But every single day, a crackhead will always fucking get cracked no matter what. And it's like, if I could be as any bit of devout as a crackhead, sure.

But to say that clearly his alcohol addiction is manifest itself at the two and a half of him. but to say that he's more addicted to sex is like shit you're the worst addict ever if it's can't get any goddamn 10 years holy shit yeah I'm totally addicted to do it but I won't pay a prostitute for it well you're not that addicted to him yeah Clay is totally playing him I love this I know he's like he knows that he's gonna try and flex over this

and in the wrong way as we all know that John does so it's so fantastic oh I'm a pussy hound you gotta watch out for me. Mother's lock up your daughters or your grandma. Oh, I might fly them out. Yeah. All right. Let's get away from the fun stuff.

We get back to the annoying shit that's really destroying the dabblerverse lately. And that is people striking each other's channels all the time. So John's channel got struck. Speculation that it was VTL. Shulie and the Shulie Network claim zero responsibility for it, even though they've been getting struck by John. and John's been bragging about it. John's been striking O.J.

John's just striking away. He struck. So, Shulie's channel's been struck. They're on two strikes. They get a third one. They're off of YouTube. And then they also got a strike on Rumble as well. John was successful at striking them on Rumble, even.

So John's talking about the strike that he got, and apparently he's got a solution. And I don't give a shit. These guys want to keep on fraudulently striking me on YouTube. I had a long chat with you. And at some point, they're going to realize these are frauds on it. He didn't have a long conversation with YouTube. No one has a long conversation with YouTube. No.

It's never happened to the history of YouTube. There was that one woman who shot up YouTube, but that wasn't a long conversation. So I forgot who I was talking to us. I was just like, you know he's talking to the automated chat. Yeah, I was going to say, was he just in Google talking to the Google AI? I think he was like, get me to the YouTube help desk. if that's a physical place. In YouTube, there is a help center that just brings you to a chat bot.

And you can sit there and fucking chat with that thing all day long. They don't care. They know me there. Yeah. In a long conversation with YouTube. And he said that about Patreon with me. Yeah. He says that about everything all the time.

This is a really funny thing. I love it when John catches himself realizing that he's saying the wrong thing because he wants to be able to strike people for playing his confidence. copyrighted music. He's been doing this thing lately where he plays this music bed underneath the show. It ruins his show. But it's just so if someone snipes them or if we clip it or something, then he can strike us because music copyright, Johnny, I'm sure you're very aware of this.

It's unfortunately. Very different than others. As far as fair use is concerned, zero. Music copyright doesn't give a fuck about fair use. It's like you play five seconds of a chorus. Nope, it might as well have just fucking stolen the song from the artist. You better not play two of those 12 notes in a very specific. order at a very specific time or you're

fucked. Yeah. It's crazy the way this works. So John's been weaponizing that, of course. And now he's on Rumble and he's playing my music. And they're doing it to try and stick it to me. Like, playing my own music is going to stick it to me. Like, I give a fuck. But I do.

I don't give a shit. What'd you do? I mean, I do give a shit, which is why I'm striking you. He's so stupid. You'd think he'd be more proud of the half a cent he made from the five people listening to it. Yeah. I would be. I wouldn't be striking it.

So Clay actually has some clarity here, and he explains to John that this is not the game he wants to be playing right now. This whole idea where you're striking me and I'm striking you back. It's just everyone's going to get newt in this. And Clay's trying to explain, like, let's stop escalating things. the thing is it's a it's a little bit of a slippery slope i know obviously you've been waiting for ages to get rid of the shipwair and ts and stuff but they've got fans and the dabble verse and not really striking them well i don't have a lot fans play i mean a few

yeah i mean i guess those fans are the ones that would be trying to come for you and get you listen get ahead get ahead okay go ahead you want to come for me get I don't sweat you. Go ahead. What a muscles don't help you there, Johnny, boy. Online. John's just confused about this. Clay is so right on about this.

Like it doesn't think producer Joe or Shulay to strike. They have tens of thousands of fans. They're not really, not really. They do. So there's tens of thousands of fans of the show. And then they see that John's striking everyone. They're like, fuck John. Let's go fuck with his channel

And anyone can copyright strike anyone for anything It's very easy to do unfortunately So John is like asking for this to happen And Clay is the voice of reason John, let's not keep escalating this stuff Let's go back to you tell jokes about me I'll tell jokes about you People decide which jokes they think are funnier

Which is where I'm at too Clay we're on the same page here And John just goes Well it doesn't matter because I worked out at the gym today Huh Stupid can a man be it's not going to end well for anyone all of this I mean we have we have lawsuits going there's more threats of lawsuits there's potential criminal charges there's rumors going around that there's a warrant for

john in the state of new york and clay asked him if he's worried about that so are you worried about going to new york do you think you've got a warrant out for your arrest there i don't Do you know, well, you know, it doesn't, I don't think about it. And have you reached out to the party involved? No, but I mean, but I do know that, uh, that, uh, baby Faso had posted those pictures on his Twitter. All right. I'll be translate what's going on.

So John got nudes from Kate Maney that when he realized that Kate Mee was recording him and didn't actually want to fuck him. He got angry. And so he posted those nudes on Twitter. And he also sent them off to some of his friends. And so he's very concerned that Kate Mee may be pressing charges against him for revenge porn because that's exactly what he did. That's exactly, yeah. He committed revenge porn, in my opinion, allegedly.

And so Clay's like, hey, are you concerned about this warrant? And John, because he's a child, goes, yeah, but Chad Zumach did it? That's who baby Fatsow is. He's like, yeah, but Chad Zumak also got those and sent him off to friends and posted him and stuff like that. Yeah, but the police aren't, you know, when Kate Meena goes to the police and files a report, they don't go. One other guys you think you might have sent your nudes to did a similar thing. That's not one of the questions that they go through the list on. Who is this baby Faso?

Any other comics who are also sending them off to their buddies? Nope. But I do know that, uh, that, uh, that, uh, baby Faso had. posted those pictures on his Twitter publicly and, you know, all over Twitter. And I do know that Baby Fatso shared them with Pinky and Felicia Gillespie live on Pinky stream. So is it a hula hoot one, so. No, no, I mean, but so, so I don't, I mean, obviously, that person has shared it with quite a few people. So, you know.

So what does that do with anything? Right. Very much like a child. all over Twitter all over Twitter yeah when he was doxing my name he's like it's all over LinkedIn no it's on my LinkedIn profile my real name it's it's it's the place of this everyone's talking about it's all over LinkedIn you get the same link from seven people wow this is all over the place but yeah just this the idea and John is definitely nervous about this as he should be just the idea that he committed revenge porn and then he is threatening to sue well not threatening to

we actually filed a complaint against Kate Meeney, the woman he committed revenge report against. And so he's concerned that Kate Mee is going to be like, this guy is a criminal and go to the police with that. And potentially, after the criminal complaint, have a civil complaint on top of that, which would be well in Kate Mee's rights, and I could see her doing that.

And so John's defense is that Chad did it. Yeah, but Chad did it. It's not going to hold a lot of weight, I don't think. I just love, too, that he's, like, scared of New York. Like, he can't go to New York now, which is, like, for people from New York, that's like, what do you mean? I can't go back to Mecca and Medina. Like, I have to go to New York.

That's where I tell everyone that the world's best, everything is from. But, but it just turns into like, hey, you can't go there or you're going to get arrested. Well, it's worse than that, Johnny. I know what you mean. But also, Thanksgiving's coming up. Christmas is coming up. His mom lives. I'm like, that.

And he does everything for him. So that's where the family's going to be. So he's got the invite, I'm sure. And he's nervous. My crispy pork. Yeah, he's not going to get his crispy pork this year. Fuck. But this is a man who is telling us that he's going to strike everyone.

He can't wait to strike everyone. He is claiming that he's got this new tactic that someone filled him in on so that he can strike any channel that makes fun of him. So are you planning on striking other people for the same way you have TSA? Absolutely. What about is the orange still up to, up to is that next? Is he still doing shit? Yep, but I mean, just in due time. So anyone that covers you, you can strike.

Like you saw your own fear of comment. Okay. What did you do, copyright, your voice? Don't worry about it, Clay. DM me. Tell me in a DM. going to be that maybe i will this is such an obvious bluff

the way that john's going oh yeah no i got a thing that i'm going to do uh-huh uh-huh i totally picked up the inside straight yeah i'm also working on a screenplay with that turn card yeah i know it's like we're not buying it at all you idiot i sure hope no one rotoscopes a giant

dick what is doing his whole head bobbing a nods of affirmation oh god his neck too i know it looks Oh, look at that. Yikes. Someone should probably teabag him with that. Put a nutsack right here.

I'll leave that there for people who dabbers it out of us to have some fun with it. So this whole thing where John is like, oh, I got this new strategy. I'm going to strike everyone. Now, can you strike any channel with a copyright claim? Yes, it's like bringing a lawsuit. You can sue anyone for anything. Should you? No.

It's actually a really bad idea because. when you go through the process of putting together a copyright claim, you have to swear that you own the copyright. And if you're lying about that, it could be applicable to federal copyright law. So there could be some consequences for fake copyright claims. You don't say. John even He put a copyright

On his stand-up act Which is one of the funniest things ever So he claims if we play a stand-up act He can sue us He cannot It's not like music Like we talked about Yeah

We can certainly Transform it Make a transformative And play anything that we want from there Same with this show Same with this podcast I don't care if he thinks He owns a copyright on this podcast or not

I've won against Netflix And the Sirius XM I understand the Fair Use Clause of the Copyright Act. Let's end on a fun little brain tease. I always like when John tries to show Clay that he's smarter than Clay. And he's got some fun facts. And he pulls out his Diet Mountain Dew. And he goes, oh, this reminds me.

I know something that I bet Clay doesn't know. Just do it. Just do it. I know I said this before, but do you know, do you know, this is D. a Mountain Dew, right? I drink this for the caffeine, right? Because Mountain Dew has more caffeine than even Coca-Cola.

But I will tell you this. Did you know that the original Coca-Cola was actually made with cocaine? I did, yeah. Yes, John. Everyone knows that. He's like, by the way, I'm going to draw some facts on you. You ready for this? Oh, you knew that, huh? That's the most well-known thing ever. Well, don't worry. He's got more trivia for Clay.

Yes. And you know the other two names for Moonshine? Actually, you told us before. No, but Mountain Dew. There's Giggle Waters. Yeah. And Mountain Dew. Yes, I remember you told us before. I'm not drinking any more energy drinks at all anymore. Oh, this is great.

So John goes, yeah, you know, they just call Moonshine Mountain Dew, which is why I like Mountain Dew, because I'm an alcoholic. So Clay is going to explain to John that energy drinks are bad for you. And I bet you think John's going to get into a whole discussion about that with Clay since John likes to drink energy drinks, right? Apparently, like, I'm not drinking any more energy drinks at all anymore. They're like, apparently they're so bad for your body, like worse than you can drink, for your liver or even worse than alcohol.

like the shit in those energy drinks it's like your liver is not meant to digest and rejects it and shit. So I heard. Clay, I'm proud of you for remembering that answer. Now, what's the square root of 81? What an asshole.

It's not it wasn't Jesus fucking Christ. Clay, that's not the same one you ask all the time. before it, I think, was it? Okay.

So he knew that cocaine was in Coca-Cola. He's like, I got to stump this guy now. What's the square root of 81? Poor Clay. I just like that John was looking at that can, hoping for like a snapple fact to appear to him. Like, it's not a Dr. Bronner's label. It's just a fucking can of soda. He was making love to that can of soda.

He was really into it. Oh. I wish you would. Moonshine. All right, so now math teacher John comes out. Now, we all know that John taught math when he was substitute teaching for a little while in L.A. And so, because

Clay doesn't know the square root of 81, John's going to explain to him how to get to the answer. As you would, a sixth grader. John loves talking down to the guests on his show. All you have to do is what number times the same number

would equal 81? Nine. There you go. that's how you figure out square root there you go so so that's all you got to do it's very simple yeah therefore giving that giving that given that what would be the square root of four two boom what an asshole what a patronizing douchebag he has Now that you know how square roots work, here's a tougher one. Four.

And here's the thing about Clay. And this is what, John's such a prick. Clay's an artist. And you see the sculptures behind him. He is able to create these characters from the Dabbleverse and the Howard Stern show and other things he's interested in. And they look amazing. And so he doesn't know what the fucking square root of 81 is. So what?

He doesn't use that in his day to daylight. He's not worried about that. But John has to be like, I'm smarter than you because I was a substitute teacher for for a semester and a half during the pandemic. Neat. It's like a Peggy Hill from King of the Hill, man. Just like, oh, well, I was a substantive teacher. I'm basically the dean of every school.

It's so unimpressive. And then he follows this up with even more math problems. And listen to the end of this clip. It's very funny. We've done this. Square root of 25. 25. Not five.

Boom! Yeah, yeah, yeah. Five times five. It's 25. Skull. Skull. Did you say, did you say stopping drinking? I don't believe that.

Me? Are you out of your mind? I swear you said you weren't drinking. Oh, I lied. I heard you said you quit drinking. What? Yeah, you said you quit drinking. Oh, yeah, I was like.

That's one for the board. Oh, I lied. Oh, I lied. Oh, I lied. It's pretty good because I claims he's never a liar. So he's like, oh, yeah, I like about that. Ugh. The fucking square root stuff.

How was this a show? That makes me fucking sick. Yeah, this is not a podcast. And Clay just forgot what a square root was. Yeah. He immediately got on board. Yeah, he's like, all right, fine. Five times five or 25.

Got it. Cool. Well, how hard would it have been if he would have been like, oh, yeah, well, what's the cube root of 81? Like, if Clay asked him with the cube root. just as watch on me like uh there's no such thing as that you exactly how dare you yeah show me your fucking math then motherfucker i'd be very easy to stump job melodic he actually he's talking about calculus or something all right um the e-bagging on this episode is out of control and someone put together a great

compilation of this in the uh dabbers anonymous subreddit that i think is worth checking out this is from Sharp Benefit, $53.991. And this is John, not getting enough money from the Super Chatters. You know, I mean, how about some fivers, 10ers, 20s? I mean, you guys are cheap fucks. Watch with these $2. Where's my five is tennis? You motherfuckers.

Where's the whales with the 50s? What happens to them? Where's the whales? Where's aye, aye, aye, aye. All the leg. Where's Specter? Taz Seamus 28. Thanks for the

Fiber. Hey John. Hope, all is well, brother. Thank you. And thank you for at least a five. Nice. I don't have any tenors, no bentes, trentas, quareth, Cinque, Cinque, Secentes. You take it one hell, hell, no, ventus, CN. None.

And I'm the, and I'm the fucking originator. it's almost like you should put on a better show and be more grateful I don't know yeah first things first yeah all right no let's just yell at everyone is not giving you money good idea I love it and I'm the originator yeah I know right we owe him money

yeah for being the Duke of the Davovers thanks Thomas Edison Get the fucking thing right Christ now that's a show Jesus that reminds me we'll be at the Bellagio coming up later in the month

they'll be the pulper fest and I'm the fucking originator get it right get the fucking thing right stop making this shit up favors I've been there done that watch with all these two dollars can you give me

a five or a ten or a 20 you motherfuckers narco I can tell you I think it's good sorry thanks for the two thanks for two bucks you are Dunning Kruger made flesh

I'm on with that means everybody thanks for the super Sorry, I'm just tired right now, man. Stirling down saying, good gear. Good gear. What a show. What a show that man puts on. We love it.

Now, Johnny, I don't think you've ever poked a dabbler before. I have not poked a dabbler before. Well, this is very exciting. Oh, man. Let me buckle up. Yeah, get ready for your first ever appearance on to poke a dabbler. It's time. for everyone's favorite new game show.

To poke. A dabbler. What do you say, Carl? And co-host. Are you ready to poke? A dabbler? But that's your history. You're a criminal, Chad.

You are a certifiable criminal. You've been arrested how many times? Chadley? How many times? a lot more than the times you've ever headlined the club because you're not a headliner. You can't write a joke, Chadley. I witness your joke writing skills.

They were God awful. That's right, Chadley. Put it this way. You are not a comedy writer. You have no business to be on stage at any comedy club whatsoever. at all so don't ever ever think that you're a comic like i said at the beginning of this show all you are is a criminal that attempts to tell a few jokes you're not a comic that committed a few crimes it's the way around dickhead it's the other fucking way around just know that

capiche just know that it be the other way around do you are you hearing me are you hearing me chadley

because I want you to hear me I want you to know what I'm saying to you I'm going to you know I'll be right back got to figure out what I'm going to do All right, hold on. Sorry about that, ladies and gentlemen. Sorry, very sorry.

Very sorry about that. What did John say next? Here are your choices. Number one, I can't say too much, or the trolls will try and ruin it. B, I'm trying to find the title to my Mercedes. Next, I just got a very interesting phone call from my lawyer. Four, I thought I left my wallet at the ad agency. And lastly, that was the lady that I'm going out on a date with Saturday.

To poke. A dabbler. All right, I always go first, and I believe it's going to be next. I got a very interesting phone call from my lawyer. Whenever he's talking to people he thinks have some authority, it's always very interesting. It's a spook the rest of us. Like, oh, no, what was so interesting about it? scared. Johnny, what do you think?

Now, do you get to choose the same as a... Yeah, yeah, yeah, you can choose the same, of course. Okay. Well, in the interest of choosing something different, because my first instinct was next to, I'm going to go lastly. Okay, I like that one as well. And we do like to try to change it up so we beat Cardiff, because if we all get it wrong, Cardiff wins. Oh, I see.

That's fair. Yeah. Producer Chris, what do you got? I was also going to go next. But in the interest of defeating the potato, which is very difficult to do. I went with four because I believe this is from the ad agency era.

Yeah, I think you're right about that. Sorry about that, ladies and gentlemen. Sorry, very sorry. Very sorry about that. I thought I had, I thought I left my wallet at the ad agency. That's shit. Congratulations, producer Chris.

Well done, my friend. Why would that be a 10-minute phone call? Because he's an idiot. Why would anyone believe that? God damn it. J.T. got it right. Hey. Congrats. Called me.

I guess Rob Saul was calling me. Everybody, it was like, all shit was hell was help. All hell was breaking was. Let me send Clay. Oh, shit was breaking hell. I'm just starting to see that. Girl, what's going on today? Out of all shit's breaking hell. That's all for this time.

Come back next time to find it if you are man enough to poke a doubt. Brought to you by patreon.com slash Cardiff Electric and Hackamania. Get your tickets now at hackamania.com and use promo code JT to save the absolute most on your tickets. Think about promo code JT. WTP. Tance for Jenny's Tits. You want to see Jenny's tits at Hackamania.

Use promo code JT. Oh, maybe I'll use that one. Carl's a cuck. Whoa. Sit, Eugene. Sit. After everything I've done for you, Potato. All right. Excellent job, Cardiff, good game.

Congratulations to producer Chris. Yeah, nice work. And Johnny, thank you so much for coming on, spending over two hours with us today. Man, Carl, Chris, thank you so much for having me on WATP. It's been great. Hell yeah, man. Really appreciate it.

People should check you out on The Dick Show, of course. Yes. You can check me and Dick Masterson out on Patreon. Patreon.com slash The Dick Show. And if you really want some sick shit, that's WATP adjacent, check out Johnny's BrainRot.com. What will people find on Johnny's BrainRot.com? Ooh, so we have a segment on the Dick Show called Johnny's BrainRot Corner where I bring in fucked up shit I find on Instagram.

And part of the bit is that it has to come through my explorer feed and that I have to see it first. But I found lots of great schizzo's sick shit, divorced dads, you name it. Any kind of weird shit that you guys haven't covered, it's the. there. So there's a free tier for all the links we check out on the show and other options if you just really need that in your life. The stuff that is too ridiculous for the Dick show. Too hot for TV. Too hot for TV. Johnny's BrainRot.com. All right. Well, Johnny, great to see you, buddy. And of course, Johnny's also the co-host on Weight Watchers,

which will have a new episode next month. That's actually my evil twin brother, Johnny, the audio engineer i see okay i probably uh shouldn't have said anything because it is a super secret society that's the only reason why you know it's fine you know i i realize there's some of us in two different realms here well uh if you want to be a part of the super secret society you can do that on uh patreon dot com slash the dick show or patreon dot com slash the creep off yes we're wait watchers episodes ago and uh we invite you all to join us but not all are allowed in We vet this. There's a vetting process.

There's a certain weight to ride this ride. That's correct. You must be this thin. All right. Thank you very much, Johnny. Great to see you, buddy. I'll talk to you soon. Thank you.

Thanks, Carl. Thanks, Chris. See you guys around. How about that, huh? Johnny making his debut and killing it. Yeah. On WATP. Well, I think now's a good time to get caught up on the news.

Internet News with Lucy Typox. From Patreon, we find Charles Dupree walking on sunshine. Calling John a Florida street person is the highlight of my day. Schlong Dongerson sounds ominous. TikTok, Johnny Boy, TikTok. Pete Zipari coins a phrase. Late and gay. Sweet boy Jenkins wonders.

Has Anthony ever gone to management to protect the staff from Opie's bullshit? Chris Atrill reflects, the world needed more Stevie C's. People should stand up to their asshole bosses more often. Rest in peace. Sleep near offers. Once we were spacemen, might be WATP's crew. craziest find of the year. Both of these dudes were wildly successful and in tons of roles where they're entertaining, even in the same huge movie this year, and they're this boring?

They have absolutely nothing to talk about and lost half their viewers from episode one to two. Yikesies! The negative creep points out, John treats Ava as bad as Carl treats Adam when he's watching his sports ball. David Friesner has got us thinking. If Keanu stood on principle, she would have told John that this isn't a big deal. His message is getting read. And Dame Taft knows how to get invited to the party. Another fantastic WATP Saturday show starring Trucker Andy. The internet news segment really ties it together.

From Reddit Fix the 403 inquires, How Long Till Stut Joe starts hitting on Ava? Eric Foster reports, He called her sweetie twice at the end of his show tonight and told her he loved her. So, not long. Bush Mills 13 opines. I bet Ava can get hard before stuttering fuckface can.

XD. Conquerue. I think there are a few women who are lonely, desperate, and probably drunk or self-loathing enough that they'll give the Duke a ride. Imagine the disgust and the buyer's remorse. Dr. Frank Inferter's cat speaks the truth. Cardiff is a treasure. Esoteric 420 ads. And the fallout, if he ever manages to dox him, John will feel the full wrath of the dabbleverse. Like right up there with Dr. Steve.

or Chris's daughter's cancer thing. He's going to find out real quick that was the wrong move. He might as well be stomping puppies and kittens on a live stream at this point. I don't think he could get much more hated. And from YouTube, Avenge Sevenfold notes, John's date stories are always his shortest stories. Patrick Gill confesses, I'm almost embarrassed at how much I enjoy watching people make fun of John.

Almost. Devilverse Quotes is quotable with, I love this clip proving that S.J. never wrote for the Stern show. Jeff's kiss. And Sean 530 plays us out with John's skin is thinner than his hair. We have some voice bells that came in. And of course, when we play voicemails, we play the voicemail segment bumper. It's a bunch of crap.

Swing in a minute. Rock and roll. Ah, Gary in San Diego. We miss you, buddy. But we have other voicemailers picking up. I have to say, you've managed to pull some truly insane voodoo to get me to like Ron the Waiter. I thought Ron the Wader, he's the exact kind of comedy guy I hate. The guy has never gone anywhere, never improved.

It's just kind of disgusting and gross on stage, and that's all he is ever. But then, you give him ammo and you get him to destroy Opie on a regular basis. Like, he's, I love him now. I love Rom the Way, that pace of shit. Lovely. We're all going through it. Yeah. Don't understand.

You're Bill Burr's subjects. You ought to try doing the show, try to cut out his laugh tracks. I bet you it actually would be half-ass decent. What am I saying? Hell no. He's a hack job, just like the rest of them. All right. Talk to you later.

Remember. I checked out of Bill. Bill Burr's show on Thursday and he was on video it's like oh shit he's got a video show great but he's interviewing miss Pat so it wasn't a bill Burr trying to entertain himself and giggling at himself episodes I was like ah not worth it not good for the show miss Pat's funny moving on what's up fag slappers and Coonaroos volleyballino here and I just want to say shout out to you Carl thanks so much for introducing me to Anthony Coombe Jimmy Norton, Patrice, and Artie, never knew about any of them.

But now I do. And I've been loving all their shit, all the old O&A and Howard clips too on YouTube. And, yeah, I just want to say thanks for that. And then I wanted to ask producer Chris a question. How does he prefer his potatoes? All right. Thank you, fuck you, bye. I never really thought about it.

Yeah, it's a tough one, isn't it? Yeah, I never met a potato. I didn't like. Yeah, but you like French fries. Shut up. Fries would be the number one answer. There you go. See how easy that was?

Beer battered. Oh, beer battered fries are the best. I used to eat those. Those were the days. No, Carl, that's not all the voicemails you have, you fucking pussy. Oh, my free speech, absolutus. But I won't play your calls if you call me out on WATP, jump in a shark, or me begs and stuttering John Sue me and then I cry like little fucking faggot pussy bitch.

You don't like the way I curate the voicemail, sir? I can't play every voicemail that comes in. Some of them I don't think are fit for air, to be honest with you. I'm currently at the Cocaine Jesus Content Hotel in Westbury, Massachusetts. Is it gay to lose to the Houston Texans on Thursday night? Yes. Coming back. Very gay.

Ugh, don't get me started. Carl, I didn't mind the interview with the prisoner. It was a decent idea, and the resulting ballbusting was very musing for an extended period of time. That's not the issue. The issue is that Aaron sucks. He's a dullard. He's painful to look at, to listen to. He's a moron.

I have nothing interesting or entertaining to say, you guys are wasting your talents on him. So put me among the detractors. I can scarcely watch this little piggy anymore. So get off him as soon as you can, focus on fun people, like Ron the waiter and Mattoree's. Bye. I don't know how much I'm going to feature Steelto. I mean, this could all change, obviously, on WATP.

Because he's been mentioning me a lot lately, along with Keanu and Gino, and they want it too badly. Yeah. Yeah. It's kind of getting gross a little bit. You got to neg him a little. Yeah, I think so. Got to play hard to get a little bit.

Hey, Carl, it's Sean Food King. I was listening to Wednesday's episode, and I realized that Mersh was Ema posting lyrics from the song, Jesus Christ, by brand new. The album that song is from is one of my favorite albums of all time. But, like, if I ever posted lyrics from it and then, like, came back and realized I did that later, I would probably delete all my social media and then kill myself in the boxing ring. YouTube Sims the Service. Anyway, who gives a shit? What the fuck am I still doing this?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, this was an interesting episode today. Of course, Mersh, we saw his house today on the episode. But there's a lot of Chad Zumach in this episode. We don't talk about Chad at all, but there's like three different segments where Chad came up and felt like. That's right. Weird.

There's also in Opie's chat people were asking him about if he's seen Chad's, or if he knew about Chad's radio career. I don't even know if that popped up on the screen at all on any of the cliffs, but just one those weird quinketinks, I suppose. Carl D. Lux, I don't know if you notice this, John, obviously. He's had some brutal nicknames cuts through people's heart. Some are funny, but he came up with one the other day that it's going to sting. No shoulders, Chris.

Oh, keep an eye on him, Carl. Producer Chris is going to be crying in his beard. Oh, no shoulders. I know. I probably shouldn't have played that voicemail. He's very upset about it. I've been coping. I'm sorry, Chris.

Suttering John calls into the show. Hey, baby. It's Stuttering John Melendez. From the Tonight Show with Jay Leno. I'm almost done scooping the kettle of my shoes. I got five or six beers left, and I just refilled my prescription for duck pills. Why don't you come over tonight?

Okay, call me back. Siri, end call with Keanu. See me, end call. Oh, no. I'll fly you in. John's got the wrong number for Keanu on his phone. Well, that's going to make for some silly voice spells, I would imagine. Last one.

We all know about the Bill's Holiday Lifetime movie. Oh, yeah. It just came out. Hey, Carl. Have you seen this Hallmark Channel NFL collaboration? It's a Bill's love story, holiday love story, holiday touchdown. I forgot what it's fucking called. I figured you might like that.

Maybe Jenny Jiggles would. Jamie Jingles. Your fucking wife. Yeah, I know. Your mom. Whoa. Hey, Adam or producer Chris. Whoever the fuck's there.

Bye. Bye. Yeah, we're not interested in the Bill's Hallmark movie over here. I'm not interested in the Bills right now. Yeah. So. I'm still trying to get over Thursday. So there's that.

That was such a fucking annoying game. The only thing more annoying than that game is this guy. I got to go. Bye. I got to go. I got to go. I got to go.

I got to go. Okay. Bye. This is it. It's over. Okay. Goodbye. Goodbye.

Hey, goodbye. This is Nate from Flint, Michigan. And guess what? This voicemails over. Are we done here? I think we are. I don't know. Who gives a shit?

Why am I even still doing this? I'm out of here. Okay, bye. Hacker, hacker!