Who Are These Podcasts? - Ep678 - Opie’s Mom Died, Bill Burr, StutJo, Chad v Cardiff, Tom Myers

Episode Date: November 27, 2025

This year we’re thankful for Cardiff calling out Chad Zumock after Chad tried to back out of a scheduled debate with the potato. Bill Burr had a guest on his show, the very successful and funny Ms. Pat, and Bill can’t relate to her on any level. I’m really starting to think that Bill is just tanking his show on purpose. Adam Busch shares some of Bill’s new stand up material that no one enjoys. Speaking of not enjoying jokes, Tom Myers wrote another monologue with some of the most convoluted set-ups you’ve ever heard. Opie’s mom passed away and he handles it about as poorly as a person could. Stuttering John has Judy, the aspiring lawtuber, on his show and it’s amazing!! She has John and the Dabbleverse totally figured out and we see a rare moment where John is confronted with the truth and has to deal with a woman he likes telling him he’s bad at podcasting. And finally, Annie joins us for a round of To Poke A Dabbler! Happy Thanksgiving. Support us, get bonus episodes, and watch live every Saturday and Wednesday: ⁠http://bit.ly/watp-patreon⁠ ⁠https://watp.supercast.tech/⁠ Watch this episode here: https://youtube.com/live/5b82J13SPrY  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I told them in the strongest of words to just do it. You see, this is a, we just do it kind of show. So if you want people to stop pointing out that you were such a piece of shit in your past, stop being a piece of shit in your present. Episode 678. Are you a boner guy? Oh, I was a boner guy. You know what? I missed penis. What are you talking about?

I'm the one who should apologize. Is it going to be absolutely riveting? Is it going to change your life by any stretch? Probably not, but it's going to be at least entertaining, okay? By the way, for those people that are in the back, remember to shut the fuck up. I've been dying to say that. Maddieo! Cuzzaroo!

Cuzzaroo! Slaperooney. It's showtime. WATP Welcome to another episode of where these podcasts The only show that's nothing but Starwipes I'm your host Carol

The $150,000 man And of course with me every Wednesday The man who owes his successful music career Two-Settering John It's Adam Bush And to OJ Thank you OJ Producer Chris is here

well. Hello. Please go to Who Are These.com. Get our email address, voice mail number. Link to the subreddit, link to our Discord server, link to our merchandise, link to our YouTube channel. And that late to Patreon of Supercast

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But at Who Are These.com, you can also get our mailing address. And people have been sending in some cool shit lately. In fact, we got a really nice care package and because I'm not at my house currently I forgot to bring the note with me so I can't remember who sent it to me but someone sent me a bunch of shirts and cool stuff and a signed Jim Kelly card and Cape Coral hat that my wife loves so thank you for sending in

the care packages we appreciate that you can always send hot sauce and drugs hackomania 3 is coming up April 10th through the 12th in Las Vegas hackomania.com is where you want to go to purchase your tickets promo code WATP look at see this promo code right here WATP you're hearing about a lot of promo codes out there

too much if I'm being honest with you there's really only one promo code that you already have memorized that you should use when you purchase your tickets you get 10% off WATP hackomania.com hack to the future is the theme this year and of course we'll all be there along with the rest of the casting

crew of who are these podcasts. Nobody likes onions. Tuki soup. Cardiff Electric. No O.J. Definitely not OJ. Are we sure? Are we certain? Vinny will be there. The creep off will be there. Potentially this little piggy

might be a show there. Who knows? Lots of crazy things happen in Vegas. That's the thing I do know for a fact. Also, we encourage our listeners. Give us five stars on Apple Podcasts or wherever you review podcast and the showover's in the comment session. Today, we'll be watching Bill Burr interview Miss Pat on his podcast.

He says to do a video podcast. Tom Myers tries to write jokes and laughs a lot about Charlie Kirk getting assassinated. Opie gets real about his mom passing away. Stuttering John is confronted with the truth on his own show, and he does not know how to handle it. Cardiff brings a round of Topeka Dabbler. But first, before we get into any of that, Cardiff had a debate with Chad Zumach last night. And producer Chris and I were checking it out. We got into the house in Florida.

last night, turned on YouTube, and I was glued to this debate that was happening. Yes, you were. I was. Let me explain what happened. It was promoted early and often. Chad was promoting it. I knew about this thing that was happening where it was going to be Cardiff on Chad's show debating it, whatever that means.

Yeah, what does that mean? I don't know what they're debating. They're not running for office. I'm not sure what policies were trying to scrutinize here. I guess it's because Cardiff says that Chad sucks and Chad says no I don't as one does

I guess that's the debate because Cardiff makes one of Chad a lot So it's a nation divided Right yeah no one knows what to think of it We all know that Chad sucks There's no reason to debate any of this But anywho What happened was

Because Chad is so thin-skinned And unable to pivot he decided that he needed to back out after Patrick Melton tweeted that he was going to be sniping the debate and then sharing any money he made while it's sniping with Cardiff, Rocco, and himself. Those three would make money off of this. Now, what does that have to do with Chad? Absolutely nothing. Who gives it shit?

Chad used to snipe MLC all the time. Chad loves sniping shows. I was shown in people's houses. So why are their rules all of a sudden? Well, Chad decided, well, no. Well, near their houses. Yeah, he likes being across the street or down the sidewalk away, facing the opposite direction and yelling.

So Chad decided, no, I'm not doing it because Melton is going to be sniping it, which is silly. It's a silly thing to change your mind on something because Melton sniping it. And then Cardiff went on, started doing his show with OJ, making fun of Chad for backing out. And I think Chad realized, oh, this is a lot. is a bad look for me so i ended up sending cardiff the link and then all the sudden like well i'm watching cardiff make fun of chad and then all the same next thing i know there he is with uh with chad zumok

having this debate or whatever it is now i think doom put together an hour long clip of this and producer chris you were checking this out today for us where are we beginning yeah let's just go with uh when he brings cardiff on okay this is about for everyone's saying I'm a coward and all this other stuff. It's about to get you're about to get what you wanted. And we threw off the fucking fat fuck who was trying to grift off of it.

Here he is, everybody. Cardiff Electric. So how are you going to spin this that you're not a coward, Chad? You're on right now. You're on right now. You tease this entire. You know how stupid you are? You tease this show all

fucking day. All day, you you built this drama that we're going to do this show tonight and then you back out because you're scared. You know, you know you're going to fail like you fail at everything else. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. That's good. I love it.

Kind of just comes in immediately. It just lets him know exactly what's up. And, uh, Chad does not handle this. Comes out swinging and Jim. So confused about what to do on his own show. And he wanted this, right? Yes.

He's the one who's like doing this. debate circuit or whatever the fuck he's doing because he's been doing those other guys too where he's going on and just having i guess back and forth with people who think he sucks yeah so my my second clip we talk about who's scared okay excuse who's scared who's scared chad you are i threw melting off the scent okay i got rid of you ho you had merch right in front of you on MLC you play and I just extended the offer let's go on MLC Merge I was fucking drunk and I hit mute on the roadcaster that's a fucking line you know it you know it Cardiff you know that was a

fucking lie hit mute on the roadcaster right now I know where it is right now oh now you know where it is you just learned it this week you've had a roadcaster for two and a half year and I never hit mute on it no okay I have to address this we talked about it we were watching chat outside of Merce's house and I I didn't realized that I don't follow it this closely. I didn't realize that Chad is still pretending that he didn't know what he did wrong so he couldn't talk when he was on MLC and Mersh came on.

Is he really pretending that he hit mute by mistake and he didn't know? That's what he's saying, right? Yes. And he's calling Cardiff a liar for saying that you pussyed out when Mersh came on and you wouldn't talk to him? We've got some more excuses if you want to jump

to my third clip. Oh, fuck. That's insane. Chad, who's just a known liar who had missed a all the time did the most obvious stunt where he was he had no idea what to do so he just muted himself and now he's pretending to give multiple excuses okay good good point couldn't do it when you had the chance you had the chance already to do it cardiff listen i was drunk i didn't know what i was doing okay that's your excuse for everything in life isn't it no it's not i know you're trying to make a joke there really does seem to be but it's also the avariza excuse oh well what i was

saying all the defamatory stuff I was drunk so it's fine. No, it really doesn't. It really doesn't. I was drunk that night. I was at a fucking party all day. My neighbors were having. I jumped on and I hit the wrong. Who cares why you were drinking? Where? How was that?

It's either here nor there, Chad. It's a social obligation. It's a social obligation. I wasn't like drinking by myself like a loser. I was drinking with friends. Whatever. Fung fucking bun. I didn't know what I was doing. I mean, did you film any children that day?

Are you like, what are you, Tommy Jordan doing all the hack bits right now? I'll wait. Like, seriously, I mean, you're so gay. You're so gay and so lame. This is the same thing that Aaron Imhol did when Dean confronted him on Husey's show. So, Chad goes, oh, what are you just doing all the hack bits? Meaning all the stuff that people criticize him for, Cardiff is bringing up. As if you're not allowed to criticize him for these things that everyone obviously wants to criticize

for because when Aaron and Dean were going at it, Aaron goes, oh, what are you just reading the subreddit? No, these are actual critiques that we want you to address. Just because it's been pointed out before, doesn't mean it can't be pointed out now while someone's actually talking to you directly and asking you these questions. Now's the time. Absolutely. And naturally, we don't have time to get into the entire debate.

But Chad is the alleged professional comedian, not Cardiff. Right. And Chad can't come up with. anything fucking funny to say on this at all this was the most compelling part to me last night when we were watching this where chad has no sense of hero about himself i don't know why he's doing this tour right now it's not making him look good it just looks like he's a petty beat-up bitch where the devil was just running over him he can't handle any of this critique and his whole thing is just like well you're wearing a fucking potato filter and the car's like i know my choice

people like it it's fun i think chat is so afraid of aggression coming at him that for him it is a big deal that he just showed up or that he had them on the stream. He's like, look, I did it. He doesn't understand that Cardiff is like excited about this and wants to actually have the debate so they can go back

and forth. It's not an accomplishment. He can't handle anything coming at him. And Cardiff does this thing. It's crazy. He prepares for his show. He does this thing called prep work. He prepares to be ready with questions and have a conversation.

Ched cannot do this. So Chad shows up just like, I'm here, so I get the W on this one. Well, you actually look really pathetic and bad at this back and forth. Yeah, that comes up a few times that it has to be reminded that it's his show. But my fourth clip, this just tickled me. Yeah, just run with it. How am I getting an advantage of this if you're broadcasting? Like, there's no advantage for me.

Oh, so you thought I was coming over here and the 800 people that are watching on my channel we're going to come over. No, they're still over there watching this right now. Well, that's right. So how am I scared of you and how am I at an advantage, a disadvantage right now? How are you at a disadvantage? I never think about it. How am I in an advantage of you right now? I'm not. Is Chad drunk again? Is he going to have that excuse? When I thought to kind of, I was drug again. He can't even say advantage. He cannot figure that out. I know. you're at an advantage of me when did I make the claim what claim are you asking me to justify

you're saying I'm scared I ran I'm not I'm here okay but why weren't you here when we had a show schedule that you decided to schedule this how are you not listening I didn't want Melton to get a fucking dime from this and split it with you how are you that's such a lame excuse why would that matter at all he didn't do it and was looking for an excuse that's all that's all it can be And then he asked like, well, you're the idiot. The reason why I did it, because I saw a tweet. Can I just point out real quick, there's not a comedian in the world who could put a tweet out that would stop me from doing whatever show I had planned to do.

It would never happen. And I've talked about this before, too. I get sniped all the time, especially when we're doing Point Dabble Point and this little piggy because we're on up against Kevin Brennan. And Kevin will tune in. And people in the chat will tell me I'm being sniped. I don't care. It doesn't bother me at all. We're doing a show.

I have a show prepped. We're doing a show. We don't address it. We're not nervous about it. In fact, it's a nice little advertisement for the people who are watching that show. To be like, oh, these guys actually prepped the show. They're not just looking for someone to watch and go, eh. The exciting part is not that we're here and that we put on the show.

It's that we have something to say. Right. Just look at us. You shouldn't. I mean, you don't have to. Just listen. So let's jump ahead to my sixth class. clip where we talk about a little potato fear oh potato fear we're skipping the next one okay got it

yeah you chad fears potatoes i do you do you've run for me every time i'm i'm congratulations i'm proud of you're doing this we're here we are here so what do you want right so we're gonna set it up chow dan what do you guys got to say you're show shit for no because we had a moderator I love this. I remember watching this. I remember watching this. Car was like, all right,

you wanted to do this thing. What are you got? He's just like, I don't know. Can these guys say something? Please. Jen has nothing prepared at all. I'll talk about zero prep.

It's like that improv exercise where you throw sounds at each other and somebody like zorps them and he just freaks out and drops it and runs away screaming every time. You can't think on your feet professional comedian of 27 years? We had it all set up. we'll do it do what you had set up just shut the fuck up for one second oh shut the fuck up rocker was going to come on he was going to introduce us both and then we're going to bring us on and go back

and forth that's how we were going to do it okay so let's do that then go back and forth i i had one question i wasn't so uh is that dr chaw or mr chaw i don't want to professors professor chaw all right yes so he steps in and has something to uh to say. And of course, Dan from a nice podcast. Stupid is there as well to try to help chat along because Chad has no idea how to run his own show. Exactly. His own idea. He's like, I don't know, man. It's your idea. For me and probably you, because I mean, I was actually swimming last night. You watched this fucking thing. I know. I didn't go in the pool. Everyone's in the pool and I'm like, I can't stop watching this. I'm sorry. But every time I came in for a drink,

it was pretty riveting. Yeah. And really the meeting. of it for me was this just getting Cardiff on there and them arguing before they even get into what they're calling the debate, which was kind of boring, actually. But here's the first question in my clip seven. Finally get to it. But this is the one question I want each person to answer for 60 seconds. Who drew first blood? Card if you go first. Well, it depends on your definition of who drew first blood. What Chad is going to tell you is that I piled on him, and I made jokes at his expense. No, I am not going to say that.

I have 60 seconds, sir. I wasn't going to say that. I have 60 seconds. All right. Go ahead. So that's what I believe Chad is going to say. And everything I did with Chad was jokes. We made parody songs.

We laughed at his videos. But Chad would be the first one that drew blood, drew first blood, either when he porn bombed my channel and Tuki's channel, or when he actually laid a strike on my channel. Thank you. My 60 seconds up. Perfect. That's really what it comes down to.

And I think that's true of obviously stuttering John as well. There's like there's one person out there filing lawsuits and striking channels and trying to ruin people's careers. And there's other people just kind of enjoying themselves and having fun playing clips and responding to that. Well, here's a fun clip that we can respond to. This is the question we all want to know the answer to. And I remember we were watching this, and the question was great because Cardiff goes, did you or did you not steal someone's credit card and then use it? And Chad's answer was, it was less than 50% of those charges were from anything I did.

Like he literally said it was only half of the charges that are in the police report were from him. So it's like, okay, so then you did steal credit cards and use them at the GNC and Chile. and wherever the fuck else he went to spend money. Yeah, but not the Applebee's in the other places. How dare you? Yeah, I'm definitely not the Applebee's. And the Stucho defense of that was five years ago. Yeah.

Like, oh, it wasn't a piece of shit thing to do then. Yeah, that's crazy too. He kept saying like, oh, but everyone knows about that. That's so old. It's like, yeah, but you've never addressed it. You've never admitted to it. You keep saying that it's complicated and people don't get it. And, you know, he pretends he was framed or something.

The fact that he thinks saying only half of the charges where his makes it any better is really delusional. I mean, you would think that, okay, if there was something about me, like, let's say, Carl eats poo, or something crazy like that people accuse me of doing, you'd think I'd come up with, like, a defense for that and have, like, something ready to go. Yeah, but if you're really offended and you only drank piss, you'd be quick to correct it. Yes. Hey, yeah, yeah, hey, whoa, whoa, whoa. I drink piss. Like, I don't eat the poo. I put it in my mouth, swirled around a little bit and then spit it out because I'm a

kind of sewer. Like a gentleman. You just want to know where they've been. That's all. Like tobacco. So you would think that Chad would be ready with kind of a response for that, knowing that stealing people's credit cards from the gym lockers is one of the things he's really well known for.

And he's got nothing. Nothing at all. It's so weird. All right. You want to go to the next clip? No, I don't actually. uh what's this what's his lips asked them to say something nice almost in closing and it's really stupid and boring so let's cut to the end when they try and wrap it up and it turns

into more of a debate about the debate itself yeah that was a really dumb question say something nice about the other person like what are we doing here what's the point of that's not why we tuned yeah things got real boring in the middle of this but are we done here yeah i think it's over so there's your debate guys it was worth it right it wasn't the debate you canceled the debate and then you sent me in a link halfway through my show so this wasn't the debate this was nothing and it was going to be nothing

I just want I just you're not walking away from this thinking you did what you planned to do today I'm not letting you have that like no you're going to give me this I shut down Melton and that's all I wanted well then congratulations you shut down Melton Melton will never rise again

no that's such a bullshit all we want to do is shut down Melton No, you plan to show that you then abandoned because Melton scared you away from it. Oh, no. Melton might make $283 tonight. Who gives a shit? He does, and stuttering John do you? That's more important to them.

So it's worth it. It's so weird when they get concerned that someone else is making money on the internet. Oh, I'm just saying, like, go get your own content, do your own thing. That is dead. Quit trying to like, hold on a second. Chad just said, go get your own content and do your own thing. What's Chad's flagship show that he does? I mean, now it's World War Z or whatever the fuck it is.

Kumi is cucks. What's the thing? And the whole intro was me and E. Rock and Chrissy and whoever else. Like, that's all Chad does is make fun of other people's shows. Cardiff, it's cool what I do. But when you do it, it's kind of mean. It's got a mean spirit. You're making fun of me.

Stop it. Weaponize my haters so you can get paid for it. That's all I wanted. I was pissed, and I thought you were in on it, but you said you weren't. So I was like, okay, cool. Cool. All right. I thought you were in on it, but then you said you weren't.

So I was like, okay, cool. Yeah, I thought you weren't cool. So anyways, they excuse Cardiff, and it just kind of fizzles out, but that was the big debate. It really does highlight. They, it's not every, it's not all for real. Chad, I thought we discussed this. Not everything is a real actual war. We're not really in our bunkers, plan.

how to hurt people. I'm sorry you don't like it when people criticize your show, but you don't have to drag it down to these awful places so no one can have fun. Here's the thing. Here's the big takeaway from me when I'm watching this thing. He's like, Chad's not having any fun. He's not cracking jokes. He's not smiling.

All of this is very serious for him. And he feels like he needs to go on and debate people to show that he's winning and killing it. He's a loser because Kurt is looking forward to this. I'm like, oh, yeah, yeah, I'll talk to you. I make fun of your show every week. I'd love to have a conversation with you about what a loser you are and talk to you about stealing credit cards and stuff. So Carter's looking forward to that. Whereas Chad is like, this is torture for it, which is why I tried to back out of it.

And then obviously he had to end up doing it because he was humiliated and made to look silly by backing out. She's like, why are you doing this? It's the same thing I say about Aaron Nimmo. It's like, you're self-employed. There are people who start a company and that are. miserable running that company. I worked with two of them in my previous endeavor. And I don't get it. Why are you making yourself miserable if yourself in point? I understand working for a boss, working for a company. You're like, this sucks. I don't like it. It happens all the time.

But if you're paving your own way, why are you going a direction you hate? Why are you doing that to yourself? And that's what Chad is actively doing. He's doing a job that people ridicule him nonstop. He obviously is uncomfortable doing it. He hates it. And he can't stop himself. He's got nothing else to There's nothing else he can do. He's over 50 years old. He's not a stand-up comedian. I mean, listen, opening for guys who do theaters is great. I know that for a while Kevin Brennan was opening for Louis C.K.

That's a great gig. If you can do that, awesome. But that's not really happening with Chad. He's got a couple guys that throw him a bone and put him on a few shows every now and again. If you can do that regularly, I'd say, yeah, do that. That's awesome. That's a great job to have. But that's not even happening.

So what is he doing? Well, he's not working on his comedy. He's not writing new material, and he likes to pretend like what he's doing online has no effect on his comedy world. A lot of your comedian friends might not watch it, but anybody who searches your name, this is what comes up. They see a guy in a bunker with a hard hat on shooting missiles at people. Like, none of this makes you look good or is going to help you meet more people and do more gigs or build a fan base. It's the same as stuttering John who fancies himself a comic himself. and it's like

anyone who's Googling Suttering John whether to book him or to go to his show like he has a name John actually has a name we all remember him on the Howard Stern show and then he go

oh he's coming to Indiana which John's going to Indiana for some reason and so someone's like oh yeah I loved Howard Stern I'm in Indiana and they go oh what's he been up to that's crazy and all they see

is dabble for stuff yeah that's what they see it's like what are you doing to your you're not helping your career at all if that's what you want to do i don't know what it is with both of them but something happens when you call them chicken it's like out of a movie they have to i ain't chicken i'll show you and then the rest of their life is that's what's most important all these people you're describing they won't quit because somehow someone else wins then in their mind and they can't let that happen and that's more important than their own happiness which is surprising

and i shouldn't even be saying this out loud because it's not good for me and my brand but if Chad goes away he's forgotten almost immediately everyone just stops talking about him it's just like we all move on to something else is what you know most of these guys who feel like they're being pointed out and ridiculed

yeah it's because they keep talking it's because they keep doing this stuff and perpetuating this and they just went away we would all move on and he he acts like a person who knows that he knows that he'll go away that quickly. Oh, that's interesting, yeah.

So what can I do next? Whose house can I show up in front of? It's the best thing for him, and yet he can't do it. And then we shit on him for doing it. And he's like, but this is the only thing I did that anybody watched. That's true.

That's true. I haven't played Chad Clips in a long time until he went to Merce's house and embarrassed himself or embarrassed himself with Cardiff. So maybe he's on to something. Yeah, keep fucking up, Chad. This is good stuff.

Speaking of people who are fucking things up, you've been checking out Bill Burr Adam. You've been on that beat. And I mentioned on the Saturday show that I went to check in on Bill Burr's Thursday afternoon podcast. And Bill Burr's podcast are audio only. He's one of these holdout guys. He's just like, no, I just do an audio show. But then I tune in on Thursday, and he's got the video show going with a guest. He's interviewing Miss Pat. And Miss Pat is great. I remember her being on Open Anthony a lot and always entertaining, always full of stories and anecdotes and interesting things to say. So I kind of tuned out of that. I want to hear Bill freak out about the fallout from the Riyadh comedy

festival. So I'll leave this one alone. But you actually watched this one and pulled a bunch of clips. What did you pick up on? Well, what's great is that he's confronted with someone who doesn't need him. She's doing great. She has multiple shows on the air.

They're in their third or fifth season. She has a huge audience, a great stand-up career. She's an entrepreneur who's become independently wealthy outside of her huge comedy career. So she doesn't really need anything. And in her own very subtle way, she pushes back at everything, he says, and really demonstrates the, it's disappointing for me to see just how far removed Bill is from even someone this success. That's surprising. Because Bill is so successful, you'd think there'd be a lot of mutual respect to go around with these two. he's on another level right just socially just how what he cares about it's just different and he's also

very sensitive about class distinctions but he doesn't realize when he's making them himself and she really has a really brilliant way of uh letting nothing get by he starts this interview um she's here to promote a tv show and this is the first question he asked her check this out you won't watch like an old like fresh prince martin was that new Wheelhouse, where you're watching? It was in everybody, wheelhouses. I don't watch a lot of Martin. My assistant love it.

I had a friend that love it. You know, I can't tell you I was, I watched a whole bunch of Martin. So he has to go to the black sitcom? Yep. Okay. It's a weak opening. Yeah, yeah. What did you like, Martin, the Cosby show?

I mean, good ties? What was your choices? Yeah, right. It wasn't cool when Mark Marin did it. It's just lazy, you know what I mean? And he doesn't know he's doing it. But look what happens when she says, did you watch friends? some um you'll tell you i didn't watch a whole bunch of friends

what i couldn't relate to it why not what do you mean why not because they fucking they're your people huh him your people come on you know better than that

you know better than to lump everybody all into one fucking thing you think i would sit there and have something to say to the fucking whatever they were talking about you can i'll tell you know what my favorite you know my favorite you're a white man that didn't get, uh, drinking coffee in a cafe? I didn't start drinking coffee to like two years ago. Oh, Jesus, Bill.

Oh, Bill. Oh, literal Bill. I forgot he's such a coffee fanatic. Now it's all he talks about going to coffee. That's hilarious. He goes, what did you like, Martin probably? And she's like, no, I didn't watch Martin. Would you like friends?

He's like, why would you stereotype me like that? Why, because it's white people? You think that I would have watched it. It's like, Bill, you just did that to her. Are you not picking up on this? She has to watch herself around him and her language to keep Bill comfortable. That's how far removed he is. They're here to promote a TV show, so she's like, okay, what TV do you like then?

So I kind of have like a five-year period where I didn't watch much of anything, but I watch a lot of movies and I watch sports. I don't like a lot of the new TV shows. It's just they're just, the way they compel you to just keep watching and binging it's like i don't know it's like to eat like doritos so you start eating them you can't stop i just want to be up at three in the morning going i'm just going to watch one more episode of this shit i'm starting to do tv isn't it what to continue to watch you know episode after episode and yeah well it's just like booze is good until it like fucks up your life hold on wasn't bill on was it

breaking bad or better call saul breaking bad yeah and he's also in star wars one of the star wars series. I missed that one. But, all right. Oh, yeah, the mandol. Yeah, he's in that. The Mandalorian. So now all of a sudden, he goes, I don't like TV because it's too good and people want to watch it. They want to keep watching all the episodes of it.

That's a terrible reason not want to do something that's entertaining. It's also not what you say to someone when they're there to plug the fifth season of their new TV show. She's like, but it's fun, right? It's snacking. You like it? He's like, no, no, fuck it. And he doubles down on it on this next one.

You just can't just put on a streaming network and just lose nine hours of your fucking life. I know, like, I got to get caught up. I got to get through this. I don't have to do any of this shit. I always tell people, I'm like, just tell me what happens. Tell me what happens and literally save me 30 hours of my life. You literally, at that edge where it's just a male midlife crisis. Yeah.

All right. So we're just not going to have any fun at all. That's that what you're saying to me? Okay. Cool. Imagine somebody has you on to promote your podcast. and they just start nonchalantly with why podcasts are ruining America and everyone's brains and why they suck and he doesn't like them.

I also watched an episode of him with Seinfeld on the comedians getting coffee or whatever that show was. Like, Bill does a lot of TV. It's insane that he can't relate to this and be like, that's awesome. You have season five of this thing that you're doing. That's so cool. Like you would think this would be common ground that they have. It's Charles. He's just like so removed.

I don't like it. He was still being in Vancouver. We know because he went to a coffee shop or two. He told us about, not really about it, just that he went to a coffee shop. It's a recent habit, Carl. It's new for him.

He's only the last two years that he's been into this. Wow, what a horrible interview this is. It gets so much worse. I hate TV. I don't watch any TV. I think TV is horrible for people.

I think it sucks. And then he has to bring up, I watch sports as if Ms. Pat's going to be like, the Patriots are good this year, huh? Nine wins and a row? What's that all about? they have a whole conversation about it. He keeps pushing sports and she keeps saying.

At some point she's like, I don't want to talk about that anymore. Like, I don't know what to tell you. They talk about parenting and she has to like codify her language to suit Bill. And as much as you were trashing your kids, you could see, okay, tough love. Black mama. No? Okay. I'm going to go around that.

and you're looking at me like not my damn wife inner city black mother I am an inner city black mother okay what is that okay all right

we say set the fuck down oh oh wow my mother might be saying no we need the time out no no not in I'm just telling you the two different. Oh, that's interesting. So the dynamic here, of course, is Bill's married to a black woman.

And so Ms. Pat's very aware of this. And Ms. Pat's like, oh, you think you know everything there's a know about black culture because you're married to a black woman. Well, can I explain to you that I know a little bit more about it than you, too? And Bill gets very uncomfortable with that. And corrects her. Yeah. Because he knows, and she's laughing.

And how George Carlin is that? It went from Black Mama to, what was it, inner city? What did she change? Right, right, right, right. Oh, I mean, urban. Urban, is what I meant to say. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because he's not comfortable with that.

So he's going to tell her what it is and how it should be. However, there's other things about black culture. He's totally fine. Oh, yeah. Making fun of, which you'll see in a bit. But this is really interesting to me what happens right here. It's a real class distinction. about where people are at with money.

She cannot believe that he doesn't just fly the same airline and that he doesn't really care about that. Watch this. You don't fly the same airline? No, I just fly when I want to. I never got into that Miles thing. Oh, my God, you're leaving so much money on the table. Yeah, but you know something?

I don't become, like, they keep moving the yardstick. That's what I don't like. and they got all of those fucking idiots. Well, by now you're at the yardstick. It's not for you to worry about the yardstick. I'm a million miles, so you've been doing this shit way longer than me, so I know you would have been there by now. I mean, it is good advice if you're traveling a lot as Bill does

because he's a stand-up comic who plays in theaters and baseball stadiums and arenas. You would think that he would take advantage of all that travel. Get some money on that. It's a lot of money. If you travel the way he does like that, It's really, it's like your company offers bonuses and you go, oh, I don't believe in that. Yeah, yeah, I can't be by the way that.

That's what he said. And it really does show you how full of shitty is because when she's like, oh, that's incorrect, you should be taking that money and donating it to whatever fucking charity of your choice or just having the ease of travel, the, there's just no, there's just no right answer for I don't do that when you travel the way he does. So watching him instinctually and reflexively be like, no, they move the goalposts, now you're full of shit. I don't like it. I'm right. You're wrong. You're absolutely wrong. and you don't even know why you're wrong.

You're just saying shit. You know what? That's true. That was really weird. He's just like, well, at this point, you know, why even bother? And she's like, at this point, like, you would have been so far along if you, two years ago if you decided to do this or last year. What are you waiting for?

It's crazy the way he thinks about money. That's such an old man thing to do where it's just like, I haven't done it yet, so I'm not going to do whatever. Yeah, but it's the right thing to do. But I've never done it. So whatever. Who cares? I don't need them to punch my card

Every time I get a yogurt I'll just pay I don't want to carry this card around What a car budget is You know and I really Am a fan of Bill Burr And his comedy and his work And his acting

But I don't I never heard his podcast So I didn't realize that Monday is always 45 minutes And then they throw on two hours Of some other episode I didn't know that On Thursdays

On Thursdays Right I wasn't aware I thought he was just doing Shorter episodes But what he says right here is, if you listen closely, it's so over the top, Mr. Burns, it's infuriating. So she's talking about investing in real estate. And how she is an entrepreneur outside of comedy.

And he can't understand why she would ever want to do anything like that. It makes no sense. You know, creating like a revenue stream outside of the, considering how this business is shrinking, which isn't, it's like as big as it's ever been, what has shrank is the amount of people actually getting paid to be in it. Fucker. People say the industry is shrinking. It's not the industry that's shrinking. It's bigger than ever. It's just the people getting paid.

That's what they mean. It's the people that aren't getting paid that are saying the industry is shrinking. They're the industry they're talking about. Not the medium. Entertainment will always be there. But they're hiring less and less people. So people go, yeah, our industry is shrinking. It's doing great.

From up top here, there's more and more TVs. There's more and more gadgets. and everyone's house. Yes, but we're hiring less people. Who cares? It's Thanksgiving. Like, he's such a supervillain. Yeah.

He doesn't have any idea. Bill's just like, they'll fly you to Riyadh and give you $1.6 million to do 50 minutes. It's incredible. Have you never been? Yeah, it's incredible what's going out of entertainment. What are you talking about? You think I care about frequent flyer miles? Like, go back to the ground where you're all fighting over coupons.

That's funny because it's not like Ms. Pan has destined. You know what I mean? Like Ms. Pat's crushing it. And even she's just like, Jesus, Bill. It kind of sound like you're a little bit of an elitist there. And with he's unreachable. She can't get to him wherever he is and he really won't listen to her. They start talking about, you know, growing up in childhood.

And he's like, look, I did a lot of underage drinking. So I had it rough. You know, I was in a culture where we were allowed to do that. And she's like, oh, hold my beer. My mother used to make us light her cigarettes on the stove. I don't know why she never had a lighter or no damn matches. And she was like, she would give us a cigarette. I think we probably six or seven or seven and eight.

And we would have to go out now. And if we didn't pull it, she would whoop our ass. Because if we didn't pull it, it would burn a cigarette down the side. And I remember being in school, and then it was this thing called Smokey the Bear. And Smokey to Bear would tell you, don't do drugs and don't smoke cigarettes. everything kills you and if you know if somebody touch you you know smoke a bat taught you all the right things and so you went a different smoky the bear than i did he just told us not to pollute and don't light the forest on fire no this who told what i was in my name you went in a city smoking the bear hold on a second

it was a woodsy owl yeah that was an owl who told you to give a who don't pollute uh the bear didn't give a shit about that he just wanted to watch a starting fires in the forest yeah the bear didn't say don't do drugs Yeah, also the very, didn't give a fuck about how much pot you smoked or if he smoked cigarettes or not. Only you can prevent being stoned. Yeah, what are we talking about here? They're both confused, I think. She's conflating all of it into one all-purpose man in a suit who told them what to do. And he's saying, well, it's because you lived in the ghetto.

That's why. So it was one that told you not, didn't they make jokes about glocks and jokes about drugs and all sorts of things that he finds hysterical that have nothing to do with their story. like that's a one sentence aside in her story that he is fixated on and won't drop and he's not listening to her so he tries it she tries again to tell him this story I had Mickey Mouse come to my school to watch out for sexual predators and then I had smoking no we had smoking the bear just did everything so he said don't smoke but my mama will make us like her cigarettes and I remember burning her cigarette up to say don't smoke and she was like why you burn my damn cigarette up I say smoke in a bear said don't smoke she slapped the shit out of me and said don't smoke she slapped the shit out of me and who the fucking smoking the bear? And I'm like, the man at the school who say don't smoke. So she didn't like me to like her cigarette

because I wouldn't pull it. But my sister pulled it. And she been smoking since elementary school. Oh, your sister smokes? Yeah, or crack, everything now. How are you not following this? How did she get into smoking at such a young age? That's a point.

It's a story she's telling me. She said over and over. over like a to a child, and he's not grass. Oh, she smokes, does she? You can't let a cigarette without pulling out of it, though. That is true. I would be pissed about it was the mom and was like, you're fucking letting my cigarette wrong. Why are you doing that?

She'll explain there, Winston, so it's tough on a six-year-old's long. Of course, I would imagine. She does in this next clip. I refuse to pull it. You just burned it up? I burned that bitch up so many times, and I took that slap like a man. I took that slap like Jesus. You know, turn the other cheek and let him slap you again. But I was...

Weren't you just trying to get out of having to do that? Or was it actually because you didn't want her to smoke? Well, no, she smoked Winston, too. So that was very strong. And for a seven-year-old kid to be puffing on a Winston, you might have had me. Oh, so you didn't just light the end. You had to get it going. Yeah, I had to get it going to go on the stove.

You know, you just light it. It's going to burn it up. If you don't pull it, it won't catch. Oh, that's, I think you meant pull it out of the fire. Oh, no. My parents didn't smoke. Oh, my God. Bill, are you fucking kidding me?

I didn't realize he was that naive on this. He had no idea what she was talking about? how can you expect him to his parents didn't smoke end of story next question that's insane pull it out of the fire what yeah I just threw your cigarettes in the fire bob smoke whatever you want they're smoking but he doesn't like when people put them in a class uh system altogether and make assumptions about it my parents didn't smoke well the fuck would I know anything about that

yeah is he even trying I was surprised that he was doing an interview show. I don't see that as a strong suit for Bill Burr. It doesn't look like he's trying. He's not a good listener, obviously. So that's one of the important things to do when you're interviewing someone. I used to think that she was a lesbian, but she wasn't.

I can see that, though. She cared. I mean, you thought that I would watch friends and be like, oh, yeah, I get this. I don't know, Bill Burr. I just love Chandler. Yeah, I don't want to talk about it. I felt like. he can't drop the friends thing like imagine she kept bringing up yeah but you thought i watched

martin so what are we talking about here why does she why does he keep bringing that up he's like offended by it yeah he does act that way he's like he's upset i mean i'd be upset too if somebody thought i liked friends yeah me too i've been watching that lately every time i see her on her ipad she's watching friends like this is what we're doing come on remember we were watching buffy the good shows that we used to watch over and over again. Now it's friends. Oh, good news. Adam's back.

They're talking about how her mom's like a lesbian? Yep. No, Bill can't drop the, you said I watched Friends thing. He's very upset about that. It comes up a lot. That's only one time, but he keeps bringing it up. And at some point, she's like, I don't want to talk about this anymore.

This is Christ. It's just a one-off thing, she said. He responds to what he said. Now, this is where we can play the game where you could have Imagine, was it O.B. or John or Bill that plugs a show like this? They can't do that. When does the Miss Pat, and that's that show, when does that? Miss Pat, settles it.

It's come on every Tuesday night. Oh, so you here to promote a new season is what I'm asking. It's just started. Oh, so it is just starting. Okay, that's great. All right. Every Tuesday night. I'm going to check.

I think you were a sweetheart. Holy shit. He had no idea what it was, where it was, what was going on at all. Yeah, but you look great to. You look great. I know, like, that's just the bare minimum of what you need to do to prep for a show. You have to watch. You probably should have researched this.

Yeah, I mean, he could have actually watched a couple episodes and talked to her about specifically her show where she's a judge. She's like a Miss Judge Judy kind of character or whatever. And taught you her about that. Instead, she's just like, all right, so what's, it's over now? It's a rap. No, no, no, it's season five is starting. You watch that Tuesdays. Oh, okay, I had no idea.

Yeah, she doesn't need him. No. She appreciates it. Wants to help. She's smart. but she's not going to count out to him. And watch how condescending he is right here. February 13th and 14th, I'll be at Baltimore, center stage,

and I'm shooting my second special there. That's amazing. Thank you. Where are they going to put it on? I'm paying for it myself, so we don't know yet. Oh, okay. Yeah. All right.

Well, let me know. If you want to come back and promote it, I would be happy to promote it. Well, I'll be more than happy to come back, too, Bill. It took us five years to get together. I know. Well, you're busy. you. Oh, shit. She let him know, like, I don't have an open invite. Fuck you. That's not what this is at all. Also, Bill's audience is dwindling. So it's not like this is a huge thing for Ms. Pat to go to come on and promote the show that no one in Bill's audience will watch. But just the fact that you're like, oh, okay, well, yeah, come back and promote that. She's like, you won't. You don't have me back. You're brought it. you know bill that's what they mean when they say the industry is shrinking she has two shows

on the air one of them's a hit and she has to fund her own comedy special herself you know she's looking at your miles and thinking to herself you know like that whole trip to saudi arabia and back could have funded my entire special or someone's entire special but these are the different worlds that we live in and he can't relate and it's really sad but he also he also hates CEOs and thinks all billionaires should be wiped off the planet because they're all terrible people. Yeah, because they're putting up Doritos. I mean, good thing that Bill's taints

his career, so he won't get to a billion dollars, because I think he would have been a horrible thing. That would have been a horrible thing. A billion dollars is as much as a billion dollars used to be anymore, guys. You have to understand. He leaves on such a great note with this. He was so grounded in such a real person and really

interesting. Thank you. I am a real person. I couldn't believe that you actually seemed relatable. That's kind of her whole thing. That's why people like Ms. Pat. If only one of us could be forced to spend 45 minutes against their will with one of you, we'd be so far ahead. Holy shit. That's really, that answer is fantastic, too.

Well, you come off like a real person. Yeah. You know, I am. You know, everyone outside of this room is too, Bill, hold my hand. Come here. Let me show you something. We're all real people with opinions. The guy who's running the show right now.

Do you know his name? Do you know what his kids' names are? Do you know anything about anyone that's in this room right now? I didn't think so. All right. I have a real person. Just FYI. It's a new way of being for Bill.

And I can't say I'm a fan of it. You know, there is something about, you know, so Bill married a black woman. I think that gives him, he thinks that that gives him a pass on everything. So he can just, like, come across as a bigot. And it's fine. Beans he's just like, no, it's cool. I buried a black woman, so I have my pass for anything that sounds extremely racist or bigger. Yeah, I think that definitely gives him, in his mind, credibility, but it's his disconnect from reality and the fact that no one's speaking truth to power.

And when they do, he loses his mind, he's just not used to being questioned. He's so not used to it. He doesn't even hear that he's being questioned at all. He doesn't catch that stuff, which shows you how much she has to do this in her life. every day with everyone she meets even at her level yeah because when bill goes on talk shows if he's on with conan or with uh jimmy kim or whatever like they're not challenging him on anything it's all just a love fest and that's just that's what he expects from everyone now you know he's doing a one-off in baker's field in the middle of december where he's trying out new material and i really want

to go i have a feeling it's just going to be not like a serious monologue with no stops for last. I hope it is. Something really dark. I hope it's like the end of Brian Callan special that was covered on why are you laughing with Blind Mike. He starts lecturing the audience. It's wild.

You have to check out. I think Blind Mike played it on the Blind Mike project, but definitely on Why You Laughing, um, where Blind Mike and Craig broke down Brian Callan special. And it's weird because he's just, he's doing jokes and he's doing his thing. and then 10 minutes to go he just stops making any comedy and the room goes silent and he lectures everyone about i don't want to give it away but it's basically legal documents like let him it's not like that but it's close he starts lecturing people about their addiction to their phones and it's it's crazy and the way he ties it all together it's so bad he it's like he like drops

the mic like he's just taught everyone a lesson like okay all right brine good job Yeah, buddy. Anyway, so I'm hoping that's what happens with Bill Burr. Please go and see that report back to us. I'm going to try to. And I'm guessing that Bill has been thinking about this interview. This was on Thursday and he goes to record his next podcast on Sunday or Monday. So I'm guessing he's been thinking about it and that maybe the childhood trauma he was talking about wasn't so traumatic. So he opens his next show with letting you know how tough he really did have it. My childhood trauma started affecting my grades, and I had, like, massive, massive, massive ADD. Massive. Like, I remember it used to take me like 20 minutes to read a page in a book. Wow.

No one's ever had ADD before, especially not performers. Wow. That must have been tough for you, Bill. She was lighting Winston's on the stove as a six-year-old. Since she was being taught how to smoke Winston's by her mom. And Bill's all the thing. Paris Colton, have I heard of pale. Yes, I know.

Maybe you get the same therapist that Parasotan got to decorate her craft room or the fuck. That was. And with this next clip, something tells me you're right about this Brian Callum ending because this is the kind of material

I think he's going to be working on. Oh, good. If he's a loving God, he wouldn't make sociopaths, psychopaths, greedy people in all of this shit. He would never have made that. and all of those types of people

are leading humanity marching us briskly towards the end and I almost view those people as the human form of that bacteria that's in your gut I tried it one night on stage and people were just staring at me like I don't know where you're going with that

fucking baldy but have fun with that premise anyway getting back to the sports thing wow that is Opie-esque right there Yep. Opie likes to opine on God and just be like, then why is there so much misery? Like, okay. With real basic greeting card thoughts.

Yeah, we've been through this, Opie. We get it. Bill, holy shit, he was doing that on stage. And isn't that telling? He's like, this didn't go over at all. So here it is again. I look forward to working on this some more. I'm telling you, I think that Bill is trying to tank his podcast.

All right, here's my premise. This is what I think is going on. Bill Burr is contractually obligated to put out two podcasts every week because he has all these advertisers, these sponsors, who have signed contracts, and so he has to do that. He's actively sabotaging his own show. He hates doing this. He doesn't want to address any of the real things that are going on. He used to have a whole segment where you'd answer questions.

He's not into that anymore. He's not answering any of the real questions that are coming in. You can't answer what TV do you watch? Yes, just sports. I don't like these TV shows that are compelling and make you want to keep watching episode after episode. so this idea also how about I have a little self-control I actually I'm not a binge TV watcher I watch a lot of these shows and I watch them at my leisure when I'm when I'm ready to get on the treadmill or whatever I'm doing to do or down the airplane remotes in the kids hands they're putting them in

their hands at the schools and they're forcing them the last thing I would I would ever say is like squid game sucks I just I want to watch the next episode I don't know what's going to happen I want to see what happens it's a horrible reason to critique something but this whole If this is the direction that Bill is going in, I hope he takes his podcast. I hope he takes his comedy career because I want to watch it all crash and bird. If what you're saying is true,

then he's become Chad Zumach and Stuttering John and smiting his enemies is more important than putting on a good show. And he's intentionally tanking so he doesn't have to fulfill a contractual obligation to his enemies. Well, we shouldn't have to suffer because of that. I thought you were a funny guy.

I think that might be what's happening. And it's crazy to say that. If you asked me a month ago, there's no way. But yeah, Bill Burst tried to take his own podcast. But it seems that way, doesn't it? It's so entertaining. He thinks that went well. He thinks they had the riff about the Smokey the Bear.

They talked about some stuff. They said some wild things. She seemed to like him. She was laughing a lot. I guess it went well. Everyone around him said, good job. I think he said, that was great. Exactly.

Exactly. And he's like, how can we haven't done interviews in a while? And they're going to be like, oh, we're, yeah, we'll have a guest for you soon, real soon, because him talking to people is not normal. Do we have some more new material that he tried out on Monday? Oh, well, yeah, he's workshopping classic why Thanksgiving sucks material. No one wants to dress up like a turkey. It's not a sexy animal. It's not a respected animal.

There's a lot of browns and oranges. It's just not good colors. Nothing really pops. Pretty much the colors. of Thanksgiving represent the death of trees just

browns and yellows. They don't even get, you know, maybe like a little bit of foliage. They just can't do it. It's kind of fucking wow. Yep. That just

unfunny, but really stupid. No one wants to dress like a turkey. represent the colors be the same colors what's he talking about the only way it would work is if like while he was recording the podcast somebody got his attention with an emergency and he

was looking at them and they're communicating and his mouth is just going in a while he doesn't realize what he's saying yeah turkeys aren't sexy nobody like browns orange and just yeah we're going to wrap things up here I got a baby falling off a roof something things happening

all right well I appreciate you following both Bill and Opie because they seem to be emerging into one being somehow. I can't believe I'm saying that. We're going to have one super game where we have to guess with all of them and we're not going to be able to tell because they're all

identical. This is true. Actually, yeah, is it Bill or Opie? Someone pitched that game to me because it sounds like I've heard this before. Yeah, no, we were talking about that with the ad reads because he's like you know, Lom monkey, what he's making funny voice and all that shit.

We should play Bill Burr or Opie as a due game. All right. I want to talk about Tom Myers. You know, he's always putting out new podcasts. We haven't been paying attention to this season very much. You know, it's no different than, you know, police officer running to the scene of a crime or a firefighter running into a burning building. It's what I do.

Tom Myers puts his show up on his YouTube channel now. But he doesn't put video up for some reason. But it's weird because what you're going to see here. So he has episode 137 November 20, 20, 2025. He's got his logo, Tom Measures with the rest of the world. I'm sure that's an image of Baltimore somewhere because that's where he's from. And then you can see the Zoom call that he did in the corner with the people who are on the show. So all you got to do is hit the record button, Tom.

You have the whole video. You can just post that. Like that's what everyone else is doing. They're just recording it and then posting it. But for some reason, Tom can't be bothered to put the video. video up. So it's just the audio with this still image happening the whole time. All right, I'm over it. Let's hear these jokes. Hello, and welcome to Tom Myers versus the rest of the world.

Oh, this first one. Okay. This is a doozy. I'm going to ask both of you guys, and I don't usually ask a lot of my co-hosts. Oh, I actually ask too much of them, but not during the show, usually just before the show. I'm going to ask a lot of both of you guys to really pay attention to this one. There is so much buildup to this joke. It's like Tom Myers doing a Tom Meyer's impression. You can't believe how over the top this is. A lot's been going on this week.

Right before we started recording, the House of Representatives voted to release the investigative files of the Jeffrey Epstein case. The vote was 427 to 1 with the bill headed to the Senate where it's going to pass on a unanimous consent vote, at least as of the time of this recording. The vote occurred because four Republicans signed a discharge petition with the Democrats to have this vote.

One of them Lauren Bobert was invited by Donald Trump to a meeting in the White House Situation Room to have him talk her into removing her name from that petition. I don't know what disappointed Trump more, that Lauren Bobert didn't remove her name from the discharge petition, or that Trump was stuck in a dark room with Bobert, and she didn't even give him a hand job. You take forever to say nothing. Adam, you are right over there, buddy? Wow. Was that insane?

Wow. Oh, that for a hand job joke. And, you know, I get it. But Boebert was, like, in that theater where she was, like, loving on her boyfriend a lot. So it's like, we're making fun of her for that. But that was months ago, about a year ago, first off. And secondly, are we mad that attractive girls are horny?

I realize she's a Republican. that's awful but like attractive girls why do you think about hand jobs and stuff it's pretty cool right i encourage yeah i'm me too i'm all for it so i was a little surprised that that's the we're still making fun of uh laura bober for that it seems weird to me even if you even if it made sense which it didn't really what he said even if you could follow it it did not help you enjoy that joke in any way like he could have just Lauren bobert and then said the punchline and it would have been the same joke what is he do what's he doing and you have to tell you it's

427 to 1. It's going to pass unanimously in the Senate. Not yet, but that's the time of this recording. It's okay. Whatever time. You're doing a monologue. It's the joke portion of the show, you idiots. I think maybe if you don't really understand what all the words mean and you're just kind of cutting and pacing, it's just like legal, legal,

legal, legal, law, law, law. Hand job. And that's funny to him. I didn't know where. I think he wants to sound smart. Yeah. I think Tom. And also that he's got the hand job before. Well, yeah, Tom definitely wants you to think he's got a headshot before, but he also wants to sound like he knows what he's talking about, which is poison for a monologue for a comedy show. But, all right, maybe it's going to get better.

If there's one person I really feel bad for in all this, it's Ivanka Trump. I hope she doesn't read the content of the release Jeffrey Epstein emails, learn about all of Trump's dalliances, and get jealous. Okay. So I'm pretty sure the joke has always been that Trump wants to fuck his daughter, right? He's always said his daughters a tan and whatever creepy shit he says but in that joke ivanka wants to fuck her dad which i don't think that's is that a thing no i didn't think so i think he's off with that one okay moving on in the documents released about her time in a new lower security prison it was revealed that epstein accomplice julane maxwell was permitted a service dog it must make her feel better about her particular situation having a living thing that attends to her every need and must

remind her of her time with Epstein yeah okay so many unnecessary words now am i going to pretend that joke makes sense it doesn't let's pretend it does you just say in prison gisleine maxwell had a service dog she hasn't had a living thing that attends to her every needs it's upsteen instead it was like and then she was moved to this thing and then we found out this thing was going guys like whatever man did we need the dog did the dog need to be introduced here I don't understand what he's

talking about there not the nature of their relationship the most famous picture of them is her like rubbing his feet on a plane like that's he misreads sexuality so much that he thinks he's right and like overshoots and lands in the role play you're right all three of these jokes

so far have been not understanding how romantic relationships work or hand jobs or head jobs i count that as romance called me old-fashioned oh it is he just doesn't know how it is the documents reveal that uh jeline maxwell knew more about trump's involvement with epstein it must have been strange for her to lie about sexual assaults that she herself didn't commit is tom not following this okay so let me explain this if tom if you're watching right now So what happened with Jeffrey Epstein and Gisleine Maxwell is that they were getting all of these elites to have sex with underage girls, to S.A. these girls. And then they videotaped just so they could blackmail them.

The fancy, like, can you believe she had to, like, talk about something where she wasn't the one who was the perpetrator? Yes, that was their whole fucking thing. Is he that stupid? Oh, can you believe that for once Giselaide Maxwell wasn't involved in the person who was actually fucking the underage kid? Right. Yeah The kind of person who thinks the monster is Frankenstein Yeah, it's no, it's the Dodger.

Moving on. This just goes to show how far out of order Trump's priorities are. Instead of blowing up all these Venezuelan fishing boats, why doesn't Trump just blow up Jeffrey Epstein's Island and get it over with? In response to all the... Okay, what? What does that mean?

First off, fishing boats? Okay. Secondly, blow up Epstein's Island and get it over with, get one over with. Well, that's where all the stuff is, right? No, the FBI already grabbed all that stuff for the CIA or one of those agencies. I saw the video on it. They're all going through the house and grabbing all the servers. Yeah, he just hears Epstein Island and he thinks it's like monster island.

Go get all the monsters that are there on the, get all those Epstein. I don't know. Yeah, yeah. The Underage Girls are gone. That's why I know what's going there anymore, Tom. Fuck. I got to back this up a little bit. Fishing boats, why doesn't Trump just blow up Jeffrey Epstein's island and get it over with? In response to all the talk about the Epstein files being released, Trump posted on Trute Social that he's not concerned about it and that he has a country to run.

Yes, off a cliff and into a fiery canyon. Is it off a cliff enough into a fiery canyon? Make sure the country doesn't live. But, I mean, is that even a thing? I've never even heard that phrase before. What's he talking about? Off a cliff and into fire. That'd be like, you know,

do you hear about this guy who's parachute didn't open from an airplane? Yeah, also you landed on thumbtacks. Yeah, yeah. I mean, off the cliff is like that. That's the demise right there. We get it. It's also hard to organize.

It's hard to get all that together and working. It's a lot to kind of figure out. Trump fired back at a female reporter asking about the Epstein list. by saying Quiet piggy If I was that reporter I wouldn't know Whether to feel insulted

Or relieve that Trump Doesn't find or attractive I should warn you Some of these jokes You notice if there's a hard cut Into the next joke Because he doesn't get a reaction So you know he edits all these

You know post So that one's weird Where it's like The reporter got called piggy That's good Because apparently Trump essays Every woman he finds attractive Or something I guess

Those are the rules of the island. It's how it goes there. Oh, he thinks you're cute. Oh, not to sleep with him now? Okay. I didn't realize that was the rules. He's also running out of breath real fast.

Like three quarters in each one, he kind of runs out of breath. And then powers through the ending. It's weird timing. Yeah, his delivery, Epstein. You know, I didn't even point that out. Truth is social. Or relieve that Trump doesn't find her attractive. I should warn you, anyone who doesn't laugh at my jokes about Jeffrey Epstein,

I put them on a list. Unless, of course, they're already on one. Get it? Put them on the list. Because there's a list. The word list is funny in that one. I liked how she started laughing and then realized he wasn't done, so then she had to push even more.

Yeah. Donald Trump hosted Saudi Crown Prince Muhammad bin Salman, calling him a champion of human rights. That's like Trump being a champion of healthy eating. Okay. So there's so much you can make fun of Trump for for defending this guy. So many things you can say. Now, he got a big laugh on that one.

I think the reason why is because he actually wrote a joke. Is it funny? No. Is it low-hanging fruit? Yes. Is it lazy? Is it easy? Yes, yes, yes.

But it's short. It had a premise. It had a setup. It had a punchline. If people went, oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, all right. That's a joke, Tom. Good stuff.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Keep doing that. It's unclear as to whether Trump had been Somman over to go ahead and talk about trade between the two countries, diplomatic relations, or if he just wanted tips about how to deal with journalists. Again, just too many words, you know, if you want to make Trump wants to learn how to murder journalist joke, sure. That's fine. but to be like it's unclear what the reason I mean it is clear I was very clear what the reason for that but like he also goes up on the punchline or he goes down yeah next one he goes up he's a musician ah it's a melody it is it's got a beautiful orchestra

and if there's one person I kind of feel bad for in that situation it's Mohammed salmon sitting in there thinking, damn, I wish I'd brought my bone saw. I should have quit while you were ahead on that one, Tommy. He got a big laugh right there. And then he's like, yeah, I bet this guy wanted to kill Trump. Yeah, I bet he did. Okay, cool. Donald Trump issued a pardon to Rudy Giuliani, Mark Meadows,

Sidney Powell, John Eastman, and others for their involvement in the 2020 election aftermath. I wonder why he waited this long to do it. theory that one of his advisors reminded him, uh, sir, remember the guy you motorboated while he was in drag? Yeah,

he's broke, but you kind of owe him one. Okay, so his premise was, so he's talking about Giuliani being pardoned. His promise is, why did it take him so long to pardon this guy? We're in November of,

uh, his first, you know, the first year of this term. What does they have to do with anything? This, the skit that they did. where Giuliani was in drag

and Trump smelled her breasts and his breasts or whatever. What does it do with anything? Why did it take so long? I have a feeling the reason why it took so long is because someone had to remind. What? Hold on. There's more to this.

Oh, God. Police responded to a noise complaint at Chris Jenner's birthday party. I'm shocked. People still know who Chris Jenner is. Yeah, her neighbors. He's like, well, Who even knows are Chris Generous?

The people next door who call it in the noise complaint. What do you mean? It wasn't like a random person remembering Chris Jenner from the TV show. Fucking idiots. What's he talking about?

That's literally the most lighthearted joke I'm going to make on this show. And now on the show. Joining me this week are polite kitty, Chip Jones, Valerie Pascal, and Nicole Blessing. Hello.

I want to cheer for themselves. Yeah, it's us. We. Now pluggy stuff. It's so embarrassing. Hello. Hey, uh, everyone, welcome back. What's everyone been up to this week?

What's everyone been up to this week? All at once. Tom will never stop saying that. As many times I told him, you got to ask one person a specific question. You can't just be like, all right, guys, what's up? How's everybody doing? How's everyone doing? You go.

Not much going on, but you know what? I got to say, that was quite a niche joke because how many people have actually seen that video of Trump's actually motorboating Giuliani? Because it does exist. Okay. Great question. That is a niche joke. I'm not sure why that made it in to the act. It didn't make any sense.

I looked this up because I didn't know about it. And so this is from like the late 90s. These guys made a video together that was for some charity. event they were doing when Giuliani was the mayor of New York City. You know, you're really beautiful. The spoof was filmed 16 years ago when Giuliani was mayor of New York for a charity dinner.

So it was all in good fun. Oh, you dirty boy, you. Oh, oh. So it was inside addition talking about it. In Tom's mind, Donald Trump got off on that. And that's why he had a pardon Giuliani because he motorboated him.

That's the joke that we're doing here. Does Tom not know how many works? I mean, that's a dumb question. I shouldn't have asked that question. I take it back. All right. So after he's been polite with the panel, we had to give him to some Charlie Kirk discussion.

We played it on this show, I think, like the third episode, when it was clear that Rudy Giuliani was going to have some involvement in the election aftermath. Yes, the show has been around that long. Yeah. Amazingly enough. So like and subscribe and check that one out because now you need to catch up.

So what you're saying is this show is just like Trump. It just won't die. Is that what you're saying? Correct. Yes. Was that your golden age of town? Golden age. My golden age was long before the show started, sad to say.

I saw the dumbest. sticker ever created recently posted on a wall. It said we are all Charlie Kirk now. Not quite. I can still stand and breathe and I don't have a fucking hole in my neck. Whoa.

That just sounds angry. Charlie Kirk said that some gun deaths were needed to protect the Second Amendment. So it's quite ironic that he was shot to death under a tent that read, prove me wrong. In fact, the In fact, the shooter missed an opportunity to have one of the alleged messages

written on one of the bullets being, okay, here you go. He not only... One of the bullets? Tom, do you even know what happened here? What's he talking about? Advocated for more gun deaths, but also wanted young people to watch public executions. Wow. Charlie Kirk got everything he wanted.

What a lucky guy. When I heard Charlie Kirk had died, I was surprised that he was so young and that it wasn't due to natural causes. Because given how conservative his views were, I was amazed that he wasn't 126 years old. In his memorial post, Donald Trump said that no one had a better heart for youth than Charlie Kirk. And if there's one person who knows what makes a heart for the youth, is the president who, need to remind you, has his name all over the Epstein files. Holy shit I'm sorry I had to play that I was like Tom just comes off

as evil when he's talking about a conservative being murdered it just sounds like he's having way too much fun with it he's like isn't that great there's a hole in his neck and he bled out in front of his family and died ah because I disagree with his political abuse huh cool man

that's real edgy stuff there I think edgy Tom is probably my least favorite version of Tom Myers he doesn't come off well he doesn't know it's like it's the same thing with sex i don't think he knows what he's saying there's a disconnect there when it comes to love and death where he's just like i don't think he even if you agree with his point somewhere there's nothing funny there like there's not a joke anywhere near there and people

are laughing out of uncomfortability because if they don't they might get in trouble for these horrible things this guy is saying it's it's that way he's like we're all in on this right like no no one here is with you on that he got some nervous laughter and he's like yeah yeah I'm killing it with this Charlie Kirk stuff so he's dead right you guys yeah it's weird it's fucking weird and also we remind

you November 20th is when this podcast came out and he's still celebrating the death of Charlie Kirk this was what are we doing here it's the fact when you talk about things like love and sex and death no one's like I got it I know it all yeah I got it nothing

nothing to learn here the fact that that that's how he approaches these topics like I've got this is a nuanced delicate joke I'm the one to step forward they're not ready to do this on late night but I'll take it from here folks follow my lead and then that's what he does uh Tom Myers jokes it's not funny because it's true guys did you know that this bill passed yeah I guess it did Tom good stuff uh thanks for that um all right let's get into some more lighthearted segments on the show let's talk about my buddy opi and his mom passing away.

No, no, no. Stunk fart. I just play that for Chris. Gets him every time. Adam, you've been following the Ops. Thanks for reading that note that I said we should try taking this one a little more seriously, guys. He had no problem.

Well, I thought we'd go from Charlie Kirk being assassinated, you know, that hilarity, into Opie with some heavy stuff here. It has been quite the week for him. And he does say that he is looking for the funny in all of this. He says it many times. So we're going to spend a week with him. And we're going to find him at the end, which might be his best show ever.

But where we start is unfortunately not. Where we start is on, I believe, the 13th for this quick clip between him, Ron, and Tony Vee, having the worst political discussion of all time. All right. Have you noticed every response to Trump, if you're a Trump supporter, is the very first word is Biden. Do you want me to go back to Obama? Would you like me to go back to Barack?

You want me to go back to Barack? Yeah, go back to Barack. Who's the one? Oh, boy. Yeah. It's a good show. It goes on like that for a while. I'm sure Obie takes control of it, though,

and calms everyone down and makes it actually seem like a conversation that people can follow? They're not really listening to him. He's just kind of jumping up and down. Okay. And he just watches the Republican and the Democrat kind of, you know, make no sense. Then what you're about to see is just a couple of comics. talking shop. Like, I, I work in a story on the weekends at a beer garden. Yeah. And there's like, tonight where there's a show tonight. Oh, we have a show tonight. By the way, I'm not even prepared for that.

I haven't, I've been so busy doing this, trying to get this show going on. Wait, you're trying to get this show. You don't have to prepare, Ron. You don't have to prepare. No, dude, I got to prepare. No, I have an inflation joke I want to do since it's an inflation. I haven't done it a while. You don't prepare for the moment. You just live in the moment. That's right. Ron, that's why you're not the screen actors, go. You got to fucking prepare. Because when you prepare, when you're prepared, you can let it go and actually be in the moment. If you're not prepared, you're never in the moment. Sag is threatening to take away my card because I'm not paying my dues anymore.

Ron, Ron, hold on one second. Hold on one second. If the future doesn't exist and the past doesn't exist, and you're telling me that. Oh, my God. Okay. So this is the thing that I find very embarrassing about Ron the waiter. Of course, we're big fans of Ron the waiter over here. Wink, wink, we think he's great.

but why is he even doing comedy shows it's not it's not happening it's not working out for him he's he's terrible at it we've we've played his bits he bombs every time he goes up there and uh you know if i couldn't play a note on guitar i would just stop getting up on stage to play guitar fortunately i can play three or four notes on guitar so i keep going but this guy is just doing open mics and talking about preparing for shows and stuff like you're not embarrassed by that like we were talking about Chan Zubak earlier. Chad actually opens for comedians you've heard of. It makes sense that he talks about being a comedian.

Ron's never had a real comedy show ever. Well, we don't know that. We don't know that he's never done a show. We know that he does the same open mic every week. Sure. But right now, he's the co-host with Greg Opie Hughes, one of the biggest radio legends. You're right.

I forget he's on the Opeed Ron show now. It's a big deal. He doesn't. And that's what he meant by preparing for. He's like, I had this open mic. I couldn't prepare for that because I had to prepare for this. I got very upset that he would even say that. And then had to start screaming that he forgot to pay his sag dues for some reason.

Weird. He said they're threatening to get rid of his card. They just, they don't do that. They just get rid of the car. They don't threaten anything. Yeah, it's like, you better pay your dues, buddy. Ron is good at something. There's some area where he can perform that he'll be useful in.

I don't know if it's stand up, but he does shine. throughout the course of this week. Just not here in this moment like nobody does. Let's start the show in Get Hearts. Okay. Let's start with that first clip where Opie tries out a new catchphrase to handle some technical difficulties. Ghosts and Turkey?

What's beeping? What's beeping? Is it hot? Oh, the heater's beeping. Why is beeping? Oh, you better. All right. I think it's just a fancy.

All right. your your uh your heat's about to go no he's fine is it hot all right it sounds like the all right it sounds like a beeper it's I hear the beeping but you're right you're right we hear the beeping right now I hear the beeping it's a low level beeping I'm gonna say yo it's beeping

we'll be beeping that can be the new name of the show we we beep it over here we've talked about this before when Opie's at Gephart He has nothing prepared, nothing to talk about. So if a FedEx truck pulls up behind him, they're like, whoa, someone's getting a delivery. Holy shit, someone gets pulled over, like, wait, look at the cop. It turned their lights on.

Look at this. And then a beep goes out. Like, did you guys hear that? It's something beeping in the background. You can tell by his cadence, he thinks he's on to something. Yeah, right. I think he actually thinks there's a problem and he keeps pushing Matt to, he's like, you should, the heater's going to explode. He keeps pushing him away, and Matt's just staying and staring.

And he's like, okay, I guess I'll just have to continue like this. That normally what happens before things explode. It's a quiet beep comes out. It's like without the chat, he needs something else to hang his hat on and constantly refer to. But on this next clip, like some of the greats like Babe Ruth, they'll call their shot before they make it. Sure. Hope he does that here. Oh, I got some foliage bits too.

Are you doing? Yeah, I'm at least you said it right. Well, I did it for many years. Do you see foilage? Yeah. Oh, I want to beat you up. Foilion. Oh, you want to beat me up because I got dyslexia?

Oh, that's nice. That's nice, Matt. That's nice. That's nice. Is that how dyslexia works? You pronounce words wrong? I'm pretty sure that's not, right? Dislexia has more to do with like reading, I think.

I don't know. Either way, that's just, that's, you know, that's the, I have a gun in an improv. You just don't. Yeah, right. Thanks, man. Not helping at all. And it was a little. intense it did strike me as like wow that was a dark reaction to a very very light joke but

sometimes opi can be sensitive so i didn't think much of it that is true in this next clip they're talking about how sullenberger successfully landed that plane in the hudson river and opi has to mention this episode from 12 years ago or 15 years ago what are we talking about as is everyone in it. And he's talking about how his apartment overlooks that exact view of watching that plain land. Okay.

One of the most exciting days of your life watching that happen. No, no, it wasn't. No. No, it wasn't. I missed it because I decided to go to the fucking gym. But my wife didn't even work. My wife, I worked. My wife and my brother

saw it go flying right by our window. Who? I love how he passes the mic back and forth. Like, you go now. I actually have done the same for that. Yeah. Was that a question? How am I supposed to respond to this?

Your wife sounds like a bitch? I don't know. What I'm supposed to say? What a cunt? What do you want from here? Well, we get to see the reason he wishes he could have been there to watch that plain land. Damn it.

I wish I was at home. Yeah, I kind of, yeah, because I, cameras all over the apartment. I would have filmed the fucking thing. And that video would have been worth a lot of money. Oh, no, it would. Fucking Opie. God damn it. Always trying to make that viral video gets out there. Jesus Christ. It's the worst. Now, these fellas, they know what they're there for. And they know he's a shock jock. And this is supposed to be that kind of jock humor. So they try to get into it with some, uh, you know, old-fashioned ribbing. Okay, good. Well, I was going to bring Ron in, but he's fucking blow.

He's blown his nose. That's anti-Semitic. Anti-Semitic, you're blowing your nose. He's blown his regular nose. I don't want to be. I don't want to have a cold before Thanksgiving. I don't have a cold. Why are you blowing your nose?

Oh, I answered my own question, I think. Coke problem. That's what he's saying. Is that the joke? That's the joke. Good stuff. So now that. And imagine being Ron.

just doing an innocent rail at a bar. He's like, what the fuck, man? Yeah, yeah. I'm doing a key bump over here. You're going to call me out. What the fuck? It's going to have camera and a ringlight shining on me. Oh.

I'm not saying the drug addicts don't prioritize their money incorrectly, but Ron couldn't afford a mattress. Do you think he has a Coke problem? I'm going to guess no on that one. Why do you think he doesn't have a mattress? All right. That's why I said it that way. You're right. It has happened before.

Now, Tony V's listening And he's like, oh, we're doing Old Time dirty jock humor Put me and coach, I got some pussy eating jokes You're going to love He just thought me how to eat pussy Oh, I did I did

I don't know Slow the lips and you go Slow down, slow down In you window In your window No, you don't do it in your Rendo Or in the window

He was saying So I like that these guys they get so bashful when it's just like yeah yeah so uh he was teaching me out to lick pussy he's like whoa this is too wild guys what are we doing that what is the point of this just when the host shuts it down it's hard to recover it's like so aggressively it's hard to get your lighthearted feeling free demeanor back like and you don't know what's on topic or off like the jew and the coke jokes are great and now you know where does this line He literally just said lips referring to pussy lips.

And he's like, wow, guys, this is, I'm going to kick off of YouTube. This is too much. Yeah, this is too much of me right now. So like a classic shock jock, they take a little break for music. Do you remember how well the last artist he had on did with the opening of that Bob Dylan song? Yes, I sure do. He fucked it up pretty badly. He has him back.

Oh, no. You guys are going to play a couple songs for us today. We're doing little Beatles Let me see here There we go Picture yourself on a train On a boat in the river With tangerine trees

You couldn't pick a sign There's more complicated lyrics than that It's all over the fucking place He doesn't even get the first line right Want to see how he does on the chorus? Oh, God, I can only imagine. I think that's his gimmick. I just kind of like it.

The guy I can't remember lyrics at all. That's kind of fun. Thunder to rise and she's gone. Lucy in the sky with diamonds. Lucy in the sky with diamond. Yep. Probably should have known your range before you started that one. Yikes.

Lucy in the sky with I, man. I was always down here the whole time. Johnny Cash is going to sing down here. He's not jumping up there. Oh, boy. You kind of got to pick one and stay there. So they get back into the classic radio thanksgiving movie list. And this goes on for a long time and it's really loud and everyone's talking over each other.

It's very energetic. and out of nowhere, Opie says this. Put a 50 on line. Well, our Thanksgiving movie list bit sucked. I don't think I've seen it. I don't remember. No, that sucks. What is wrong with him?

By the way, Opie's not normally like this. I guess this is probably the meetings he has in post with, like, Ron the waiter and some of these guys. Or he's just like, that sucked. But during the show and he looks like really pissed off about it. Yeah, he looks really pissed off about it. Yeah, he looks really. sad and downtrodden. He does.

And look at the way he's holding his gaze. Like he doesn't blink. Opie's a very nervous guy, but he looks him right in the eye. And he goes, no, that sucked. Wow. I think something's going on with Opie. I think he got some bad news right around this time. And he's just shouldn't be filming because he's very, very sensitive to everything that's happening now.

Like they start again, they wind themselves back. Okay, well, sports. Taylor Swift, yeah, they got a podcast. And now they start talking about how Taylor Swift really basic stuff. And out of nowhere, Opie won't have it. Taylor Swift's ass. And she's one of the nicest, smartest people over. I'm good for her.

I'd be nice, too, if I was worth $250 million. She's so smart. She laughs yourself on to the number one podcast in America. Uh-oh. That's Ron Berman. Ron Berman. DME, and I can help you, Docs him, Ron Burman.

All right, listen, let's get out of here. Michael, thank you. We're wrapping off. Oh, Opie is so upset because he got insulted, too, that he's not the number one podcast in America. Did you see his face? He looked like he took a hit. Like he defeated back.

It reminded me of this next clip. You're right, though. These guys all were trying to get this going and make it seem fun. Oh! You're ass I'm telling that Grandma saw a film All right

That's fun It was just pretending He didn't have to take it so hard It would just But I think there's an explanation For Opie's behavior When he lets the stream run

A little long All right All right, let's get out of here Happy Thanksgiving everyone Don't joke Rest in peace, Bobby talk to you guys soon that was one of the better ones

that was entertaining throughout oh yeah Opie's doing a tribute to his mom who just passed away with all of his chins and by the way nothing gets me more angry

than when people do the stupid heart thing with their hands you barely do it Yeah, Opie, you're 63 years old. You're really doing the hard thing with your hands for your mommy right now. And there is something very telling about Ron the waiter right there. He's another guy who can't, no self-criticism. Everything he does is gold.

He's like, that was a really good one. That was really great. We just saw Opie, like, ruin the momentum in the show multiple times and critique them during the show that it sucked. That was a really good one. we crushed it. Entertaining throughout. I believe he's out. What you're seeing with Ron

is he's like the anti-John. He puts being a good friend over a good show. And he puts making his friend Opie handle this stuff or have a cushion lean back on

as opposed to be out there on his own. And yeah, I mean, there's no wrong way to grieve and this guy has no experience in expressing any kind feel emotion. So I'm just proud of him that he did and that he let us in on what was happening because I don't know how many people caught that. Not a lot of people listen to that, especially hang on till the very end. So I was a little more prepared than others. I think when he opened the next show

yesterday like this. And then I get a call from my older sister and she basically announced to me that that my mom died. Yeah, 89 years old. And I've been leaking tears ever since, if you want to know the truth. And I don't want to do this live stream today. But my friend Ron the waiter is like, man, you got it. You got to. You got to.

You got to do it. Is Ron the producer? Why would that matter what Ron says? Like, do it or don't do it, but don't say, guys, I don't even want to be doing this. I'm not in a good place right now. My headspace is off. But Ron the waiter told me to do it? That's a terrible reason for having a podcast.

You're all emotional about your mom passing away. Yeah, because it has nothing. He's not thinking of the show at all. And anyway, he's thinking about his friend and he doesn't want his friend to be alone because he knows he's going to be. He also wants his friend to be. talk which he knows he won't be doing so as this gift ron just gives him this hour and 20 minutes for opi to talk honestly truthfully and like from his real voice about why he is the way he is and how he ended up like this oh this is fascinating it's the best episode he's ever done this is great

because we talked about this adam who's not long ago where ron was talking about his family in the dynamics and what was his aunt committed suicide on Thanksgiving and ruined Thanksgiving for everyone for years to come and he was having real conversations and he was trying to connect with his buddy Opie's just like and your mom was a handful right

and I was like ah she she was fine like Opie wouldn't say a thing about his mom even though he's talked about the radio show for you're a freak run yeah only you have problems with your family my family's great even though everyone knows that Opie's talked about his mom being mentally ill and

all the problems he had growing up because of that. And so Ron's just like, hey, maybe we can bond over this thing. And I was like, no, I don't want to do that. All right. So finally, Opie's mom has passed away. This just happened this week. And so Opie's going to open up about this. This is a very special episode of WATP.

I mean, some people would say Opie Radio, but most people see Opie through WATP. So I think it's a very special episode of WTP where we pay tribute to Opie's mentally ill mother who passed that down to O.P. Well, he makes it clear that he's not going to go to a funeral. He doesn't know what they're doing about burying. I don't think he's going to be involved in any way. I don't think he's going to talk much about it outside of this. So this next hour is her funeral and her tribute.

Oh, that's sad. Probably the only words he's going to say publicly about her. Wait, is that true? He's not going to the funeral or anything because he was very vague about what they were doing. and if they were doing anything, and he made some joke about, I don't even want to say the joke, but he just didn't, he acted like,

even if something was happening, he doesn't know if he would even want to be a part of it. Maybe he will after this. He's a lot of siblings and she's local. They're all still in the New York area right there. So you'd think that this is a no-brainer. They're all estranged. They're all estranged.

There's one who just keeps up, but a running joke among the siblings was, how are we going to know if mom passes? Because she's alone and we don't, talk to her. This is what he's going to wrestle with right here. You know, there's no way to sugarcoat that she died alone with no one visiting her.

No one visited her for years, for fucking years. It's really as sad as it gets. But in my house, if you didn't clear... I have a question. Hold on. So she, was she like in a nursing home in Long Island? Yeah, yeah. And then they moved on to the next fucking corridor, you know, that type of shit. So she was surrounded by her Jamaican

caregivers. Yeah, probably. Some dude singing Frank Sinatra down the hall in a, and a break room, yeah, I guess. I mean, it's fucking sad, but I'm going to try to find the comedy in it. Okay, good luck with that, Opie. Good luck with that.

Let's see him. Hope you can find the comedy in his mom pants away. I start now. Yeah, let's see. Let's find out what the comedy style is. It won't be after his mom died alone are going to be. I'm excited for this. And I haven't watched some clips yet.

You can just start the next one. All right, good. I'll tell you the significance of my mom dying on November 22nd. Okay. Yes, that is my honor. here comes comedy but it's also the anniversary of my dad's first wife when they got married i actually got married on the exact same day many years later obviously as my dad my dad's first marriage he got married on november 22nd fast forward a whole bunch of years later and i got

married on november 22nd you just and uh my dad's first marriage was such a thorn of thorne in my mom's side. Jesus. So his dad was previously married. His mom had a real issue with the previous marriage. And Opie decided to get married on his dad's anniversary that bothered his mom to no end. Yes. That's odd because it sounds like he did that on purpose.

He did. What did that? We, too, you hear about where he made her sit. Oh, Jesus Christ. We'll get to that later. Okay. So we're making comedy out of this, though, right? Adam, I mean, not yet, but we're getting there.

I would imagine. No, it's only going to get darker and darker, but it's going to get more and more revealing. And it explains so much of, and he points it out, too, of why he is the way he is and why his relationships have ended up the way they are. His mom, according to him, is very, very. abusive so he doesn't feel bad he thinks and he might be right that it saved his life to keep her at a distance okay um he were going to get to know a little bit more about opi's father he married his high school sweetheart they were in love they had three kids two died from a crib death one reason that why i never liked jim norton's stupid uncle paul shit

a shock with a boundary yes i had a boundary and i did tell jim why i had a a tough time in his uncle paul character but he didn't give a shit he didn't give a shit he just wanted people out of his fucking way but uh i had a very tough time with that type of humor because of what happened to my dad he lost two uh two kids i should have like two older brothers who's that old guy over there uncle paul uncle paul with the creepy old guy stare at uncle paul now he's coming over here uncle paul was a child molester what does that have to do with crib death Fuck you, Opie. I think that he's trying to turn this.

This is very tragic. I'm sure it's very traumatic for the family. But what the fuck does that do with Jim Norton? Why the hell would he bring up Jim Norton's name in this? I don't know. He also said the classic, you know, Jim Norton's always like, everybody, get out of my way. Oh, yeah.

Old Jimmy Norton. And by the way, Opie loved the Uncle Paul character until he got with his now wife. And, you know, the Philly crew. She's from Philly. Yeah. Yeah. In fact, look it.

We got, uh, Anthony's in here. Uncle Paul is a petal crimped up. And E-Rox in here, too. Yet he let Uncle Paul go for years. I just show this namesake that he controls. Yeah, okay. Yeah. This is all very convenient for him to look back at it.

Like, by the way, the way that's, the reason why that's offensive is because of this thing. Like, what? These things don't even connect. No. This is, uh, like a chick acting more like a, an asshole on her birthday. Yes. It's like every chick ever.

I agree. It's what they were saying. The mom's death umbrella. Everything falls under it. Oh, what is asshole. Yeah. Yeah. Wow.

I thought this was going to go totally differently. You thought we're going to feel bad for the opster on this one? It's just me. I know. And I'm just like, by the way, we're not going to have a lot of fun of this episode today. Like, oh. Hold by beer, asshole. We're having fun today.

Flash forward. I should mention real quick while we're doing the show and we're all having fun The Teaser The Teaser The Teaser The Teaser

The Teaser The Teeter We'll be on WTP This Saturday coming up Missy B is here And is bonding with her husband Or her boyfriend In the chat

I guess she didn't know That they were both watching The show together This is what people This is how This is a love connection of this show for sure. But yeah, E. Rock will be on WTP this Saturday.

Let's get back to the hilarity that Opie's going to make a lot of comedy out of his mom passing away. I can't wait for what we have next. Okay. Well, we're going to learn a little bit about his father. Okay. My thought at the time was... Hold on. We learned about his father.

Here he's going to explain, like you were saying, the 22nd being... his parents, his father's original anniversary that his mom hated was the date that he had to schedule his wedding on. Now, it's not like he saw his mother during this time. They really phone calls every once in a while. That's all he ever did. I don't know if they ever met the grandkids. It was very much estranged. However, when he did reach out and invite her to the wedding, but he wouldn't let them sit anywhere near the family and she never forgave him. My thought at the time was, I'm going to put her at a table, you know, where she, she would be comfortable with people she knows, older people, right? And then I had like, I wanted to give my own family a break,

so they were at their own table because they also didn't want to deal with her. And then, you know, the main table was me and my brother and my wife and a few other people. And she was so pissed off that she wasn't sitting at my table on my wedding. And I knew if she was sitting at my table at my wedding, I would have been miserable. And I wasn't going to do that to me or my wife on my wedding day. So there is a nice to your wife. Huh? Would your mother ever nice to your wife?

Oh, 100%. Oh, okay. Oh, whoops. Yeah. I'll leave that part out. It's interesting. They're not a thing. You don't have your parents at your table with you at your wedding.

You have the wedding party. what's my dad my best man what are we talking about here what's going on i guess it was some fairy tale wedding at the ritz carlton and voston and it was all very uh curated and where she was was a statement he invited her but then he wanted to punish her for it sure which is an interesting move right yeah it's very uh passive aggressive i would say yes now in this next bit he talks about how basically any time there was a seminal moment in his life for his career she would randomly call him that day to fuck it up

such as on the first day of him coming into New York and starting his new big radio career that's when she called last The fact is I, the last time I talked to my mom was seven years ago and it was the day that I was let go from Sirius X-S up the other one, yeah

I was out of my mind I just blew up my whole fucking career all I had to do was behave at Sirius X-M and I would still be over there but I couldn't help myself and I'm fine with that now and I was at the beach house I got the call that, you know, they were letting me go.

And I was like, holy shit, I just blew up my career. I had a great new show that I was really into. And it was all got, it was all got, boom, up in smoke. And that same day, my mom called. And I told her. And it went right from, it went from right to right from that to yelling and screaming at me because I didn't send her a card recently for whatever holiday is around. Well, it was a really great tribute to his mom who just passed away.

Remember all the things I hated about her. it's his only memories and do you ever hear him discuss him leaving serious XM in such stark simple terms? No. He's like I fucked it up. If I wouldn't have done that, it wouldn't happen. It was my fault. I'll have to get over it. My mom called me that day and shit on me

for it. Wait, was that when he left serious or when he left? Oh yeah, that was what he I thought he was talking about how he got fired. Okay, got it. Yeah, no, I set it up wrong. Later we'll hear him. She calls on the first day when he starts, but now he you know, Ron's asking the questions. He's like,

What do you know about how your mom was raised? Do you know anything about it? Interesting. That she was brought up with a severe alcoholic, you know, an alcoholic that I don't know what happened in my mom's house. I never wanted to ask her. She would bring it up from time of time. It didn't sound fucking good at all. And it was best not to know the details of her upbringing.

Let's just put it that way. I understood in broad strokes that her upbringing was way worse than mine. Interesting. Well, then you shouldn't be bitching so much about it then. That's an interesting thing to admit to. Way worse than his. And yet he's so traumatized. He's still bitching about it after she passes away at the age of 89.

You were saying this earlier about people who can realize exactly what's happening and say it out loud, but still are unable to do something about it. Right. Yeah, you're an adult. Grow up. It's tough for some people. And it shows you, like we say about Howard Stern, you're always like, you know, the therapy is not doing it. anything. And I'm like, I imagine if he didn't do anything, how bad he'd be. This is what we're looking at, this kind of complete disconnect. He just even admitted, and it's what Ron does allude to,

I didn't include it, but they're like, I bet some dark stuff happened to your mom. And he's like, I bet it did. I don't want to know, which is a little bit why even whatever jokes Jim Norton's making, he decided that's where it is, because he can't think about any of that. Ron asked him, Did anything ever happen to you? And he just says it in this like, I don't think about that. I don't talk about that way that does make you go, what the fuck is going on over there? Like, what is happening? It's all just awful.

And the shit you tell us about just gets worse and worse. So this one is on his, when she calls on his first day of radio in New York. Since phone calls and stuff were not cheap, so she couldn't call me on a regular basis. And I remember I would hang up, whether I was in Buffalo, Rochester, or Boston, I would hang up after one of of these phone calls. I'd be depressed for days, for days. She had to trash everybody. It was like, why don't we talk about anything but? And then when I was at the tolls, I got really sad as I was looking at the city. But now I'm on the Throgsneck Bridge, and you can see the city to your right as you're going on the island. I was sad because I'm like, holy shit, you're going back into the

lion's dead. You're going back into the lion's dead. You're now too close to home again. damn your mother your mother your mother really really uh put a put a spell on you guys opi trashes everybody this whole thing where he's just like yeah my mom was a debby downer opi that's you and it's been brought up before like do you think do you have a tinge of the mental illness that was maybe passed down from your mom in a back no no no i'm not like that at all you're blocked yeah this is what he's explaining right now but he doesn't see it he doesn't see it you're yelling at no one there's a part

where ron says opi it sounds like you really had to walk on eggshells around your mother and greg's like yes that's exactly right he doesn't know he doesn't see what you're seeing and by the way Ron's saying she put a spell on you that was the nicest way

I've ever heard somebody say boy your mom fuck you up yeah yeah you're still out over it man get over it what are you doing he's first coming the terms with a lot of this stuff he tells this story here about when one of his brothers was getting ready to leave the house and start a job in the city for the first time. He was going to move out to, you know, try to start his own life with his job in the city.

And my mom turned to my dad and said, I told you we should have had an abortion. Jesus Christ. Just fucking crazy, dude. Fucking crazy. So what, your mom's a better shock jock than you do? On top of everything else? She had the Howard Stern line. God damn it.

She was the originator. Seriously, put her on the radio next time. She would be great with that Aunt Jim. Damn it. Well, if you like that bit, he makes it clear that she was looking to any, he goes, any chance she had to say out loud that she didn't want all of these children she took. And he repeats that over and over again. I think it might be a hard thing to hear when you're a kid.

Yeah, but also, that's kind of a funny line, right? Great line and not a bad delivery. But still tough to hear. Really tough. Fair enough, fair enough. And Opie expresses once again how this affected his work life. And then, you know, and then I would have this insane success, and I felt guilty that I was happy. Guilty.

Because every time I had any phone call or interaction with her, she was just literally miserable with her life. And I would feel guilty that I would be, you know, feeling happiness. He doesn't know how to feel or what to feel. I know. And I'm not good. Adam points this out all the time. When I talk about therapy, don't listen. I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about.

But Obie claims that he's gotten help and he's seen a therapist and he's talked through this stuff and he's still holding on to these things. He's still regurgitating this. He did it years ago for six months. He doesn't understand. It's like working out. Like you can't lie to us if you've been hitting the gym. We can see.

Yeah, we know. Nothing you say. We know if you're sober. And he does it early on. He's like, you know, this was so tough. And I spent so much time putting this down. but I did therapy and now I'm better. He thinks he did the work.

He believes it. He's not. And anybody watching any, we all know anybody that deals with him. Yeah. So Ron asked again, like exactly what you're supposed to ask. What was your dad doing during all of this? I'll tell my stories today. I would go to my dad.

You see what she gets. You see. You see. You saw. Like I'm like almost thinking like, finally. Right? And he would go, you know she's mentally. And then you would have to just, like, sulk away, like, fuck, man.

Like, what the, I mean, come out, come on, come on. Well, that's another, by the way, that's another type of trauma when you go to your father to save you. Right. And he doesn't. Adam, I don't know what to make of this. Tell me. So the dad says, look, that's mom being mom. You got to get over it.

That's, I mean, if they're going to stay together, it's kind of good advice, right? Am I crazy? So you're like, hey, mom's being a rash. and dad goes, yeah, that's what she does. You haven't learned that yet? I've been, I've known it longer than you have, buddy. So let me just tell you, this is the deal. This is what we all signed up for. And then you go, well, thanks for fucking nothing. Like, what do I'm going to do?

Yell at her about her being mentally ill? That doesn't work. No, but I want you to protect me from it. This was your fucking choice. Yeah, right. Leave me out of your poor decisions. Like, that's all. It's a parent thing.

You know, that I accept that because there is a part of, I think, every father that turns to his son at some point and says like, mom's going to be mom, you know, women are, you're going to have to. We've all had that conversation. But this is different. You don't get to say, I wish you were never born. Like, dad, could you please say something? There are levels to this thing, I think. Tell me you're glad I was born, please.

Something. Never. But you're asking the right questions again, because so is Ron. Ron's like, so if your dad, was he working? Because there's nine mouths to feed in this house. Right. You have a lot of people. There's no way he can't be wealthy.

Was he wealthy? I don't give a shit what people believe or not. This is the truth. My dad ran in the same circles as Donald Trump's father back of the day in Long Island City in real estate. He knew Donald Trump's father. And my dad was pretty successful in real estate back then. Shit.

See, I always heard the opposite from Opie. That he grew up poor and he didn't have anything. But now he's talking about his dad was like a real estate mogul? Yep. Is that what's going on? No, I'm listening to the next one. I didn't think so. I think the story of my dad is that he was more than capable of providing for a family of a total of nine.

But with my mom's issues getting worse and worse year after year, it made it almost impossible for him to even leave the fucking house. So it all went away slowly. And then every once in a while, he had an office in the house I grew up in. He was in there like 16 hours a day hustling. You know, he turned more into an entrepreneur. And then every once a while, he would hit on something. And we would have, like, a huge check come in. And it would be nice.

But that money would go away really quickly. And for most of my time growing up, we had very, very little money. Well, he has no idea what he's talking about, right? No, he doesn't. He has no idea who's going on. The whole time, I thought he was fucking with us. I thought he was rich, but wouldn't admit it because he wanted to be a working-class guy. He doesn't know himself.

out. He doesn't know if he was rich or poor. He's like, we seem to have money, but we were fucking worried about it all the time. He's not how many siblings he has. He doesn't how many kids he has. He doesn't know any of these numbers change all the fucking time. They can and went. What does he know about here? He knows about

doing radio, Carl. That's 18. Yeah, he's got that down. He doesn't know if he's rich or poor. He's like, he makes a reference to his mom calling. He's like, you know, long distance calls. They cost a lot of money. Like, if he's worried about the cost of a call when he has like eight, seven brothers, he doesn't know whether he was rich or poor.

He just knows we worried about it all the time. If we were rich, why was I so scared? Why did I have such shitty stuff? Why couldn't I have anything nice? And why were we always freaking out about it? That's what poor people do. Why was I hiding money in the wall? Yeah, remember he's wrapping money and tinfoil and hiding in the wall.

He talks about that and says his mother would even steal that when she discovered it. That they weren't allowed to have money or nice things. I don't know. but he doesn't know how to feel about any of this stuff. Write a book. Why is this his therapy session with Rod the waiter? Write a fucking book about it already. What are you doing?

Read a book or create your own little fan fiction about how you grew up. Well, I certainly hope the rest of America feels the way you do, Carl, because check out his next project. People are like, why haven't you written the book? Yes! And I'm like, I can't write the book without really dipping into this fucking heavy shit. and my mom had enough awareness to go don't write the book until I die Simon and Schuster are you listening

Oh yeah fucking Ron It made him happy though Yeah he likes to hear in Simon and Shoester He'll be like that a lot So he's got his mom Who no one in the family talks to They can't stand her

They let her just die alone But he won't write a book until she passes away Why would he give a fuck? How does that make sense? that makes sense. I don't think it's why he didn't write the book. Of course not. Yeah.

That's the one rule I go by because of my mom. That's what she wanted. Wait for her to die. Do I write this book? I do hope he does it now, though. And it does point out what you were saying about people. You're like, how can they know, again, what the reality is and do nothing about it? Like, his mother knew.

Like, she knew, you're not going to say nice things about me. I'd rather not fix it. Just don't write the book until I'm gone. I love that book. Yeah, me too. If you want to know the truth, I don't need you to write a book. I just need you to read it on an audio format

so that we can make it a bonus series on patreon.com slash Worthy's podcast. Opie, if you can just do me one favor here, please. That'd be great. We promise not to add any commentary just to have it play uninterrupted. We're just going to steal it. If anybody gives us five bucks for free. That's what we do over on Patreon, as people know.

So Ron hasn't said much. He starts to try and wrap it up. And Opie actually has some fascinating, accurate advice. Rest in peace, Mrs. Hughes. You have a very nice son. I try. I try to be better every day, Ron. That's all you can do.

You got to like, you know, you got to acknowledge where you come from. You got to acknowledge the possible issues you could have from your upbringing and you got to do something about it. So the best I could do every day is just try to be a. little better every fucking day. That's it. Hey, quick question. Just to change the subject a little bit. Yeah.

Holy shit. Yeah. Again, Opie recognizes all of this and doesn't put any of it into practice. He is, this is the best he can do. This is him implementing the B's a better point in every day. All of these years. That's it. That's insane.

It's just really hard for him. And I wish I could include the next part. It just goes on too long. But Ron is such a good guy. You know what he does right here? he interrupts and he goes wait wait wait um uh aren't the the the price of thanksgiving food so high oh perfect yeah get opie off on the you want to toss the ball around a little bit you got you got one left no no no no no i won't i won't so instead rod offers him some good

advice all right ron i have a good bus roby opi once again i am i uh i'm sorry for your loss and yes your mother truly is at peace now and you're at peace which is either even more important. Yeah, I think I am. I think there's like, even though I, you know, didn't see her for the last seven years, they was always like, deser- And you know what I would do just as very healthy? On Thanksgiving day, at the table when everyone's eating, toast your mother.

Yeah. Good advice. Sure, it's fine. Here's some other advice. Talk to your mom the last seven years. Well, it's too late for that, Carl. Go visit her. Make a phone call or something.

You know, this is coming at a weird time Because Opie was just remembering his mom's mom passing away And what a piece of shit he was to his grandmother When she was on her deathbed He was like, fuck off and like stormed out of the room When she was just like, chalice and proud of it Right, and his grandma called him what, precious? She's like, oh, precious is here

He's like, fuck you, I don't like that nickname It's a very sweet thing to say to someone And say that they're precious Yeah, but Opie didn't just come up with this on his own this is how his mother treated her mother. They were estranged from her. They didn't talk to her for years. And they had no relationship. They were strange

because his mom's mom lent them a bunch of money that his mom never paid back. Right, because they were broke. You understand? They're resentful. He was Adam saying I was Trump's senior. What the fuck is going? None of this makes sense, Adam. I'm confused. It is not healthy

for a 63-year-old man to be hung up on this stuff still. But he is and he has been trying. I pride myself as the authority on Greg O.P. Hughes, we've been doing it a long time over here. And I'm more confused than ever about what's going out in Greg's life. I can't figure it out. It's funny. I've never seen it clearer. Like, even where the voices came from. Remember when he went to his dad? He was like Anthony Hopkins in that bit. He was like, why don't you stop? And his dad is like, it's not going to stop. And he goes, well, there's nothing you can do, but go, okay. All right. All right. All right. All right. Oh, that's what that is. That's what he, that's the voice. It's like, what else can you do?

That white, like you're in a prison. And you're just like, okay, I guess we just sit here. And he leaves the stream like this, probably the only time he's ever ended it intentionally. Yeah. All right. Bye, everybody. Bye, Ronnie, Ron. Thank you.

Happy Thanksgiving, Opie. Yeah, you too, buddy. All right, buddy. I'm going to, I'm definitely taking a few days off. I'm taking a few days off. I'll see you guys soon. Hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving. And we'll, we'll,

we'll talk soon uh rest in peace to to mommy all right wow very heartfelt it's the the heart comes from ron i'm i was touched by what a good friend ron is and this is before you reminded me that ron's own family committed suicide on thanksgiving and ron is like i'm here for you buddy i know i'm not going to mention it because you don't care so we're just going to talk about how hard it was Tomorrow's going to be a rough day for Roddy has to relive this trauma and his family and everything. Such a good guy. It's so nice. Hope he doesn't even bring it up.

Hope he doesn't even remember that. No, he doesn't care. Oh, wow. I'm a little surprised. Well, I guess I shouldn't be surprised. The opster didn't try to take advantage of this death in order to get more superchance coming in. Does he not know about that grift that a lot of these people do? I think it honestly didn't occur to him.

Yeah, probably not. He's being real. Damn, and, Opie. You missed out on that one. I'm really glad he did this show. I'm really glad we got to learn about his mom. I'm glad he didn't sulk in the corner and he chose to just be real with us and share it. You know, regardless of how you feel, it was a very brave thing for him to do.

And I certainly learned a lot. I cut out a lot of the horrible stuff his mom did. There's just endless examples of this. So next week? Next week can we? So we have a super emergency episode behind the paywall. Let's go. No, but if you just want to get a little taste, you can play the number one audible.

Okay. and just my my college girlfriend home and I'm like hey you want to oh we got some we got some photo albums you get to learn about me a little more let's go through the photo albums and you would go through the photo albums like that and she'd be like uh why why is one of your brother's uh pictures cut out she would cut faces out of fucking family photos people that she you know had a severe problem with you don't come back from that see this is the annoying part going back to what I talked about

before when Ron was like yeah but your mom's crazy right and open goes she was fine she interrupts and then she dies he's like she's a fucking lunatic listen to what she's up to he doesn't know he doesn't know he has fond memories he has a lot of bad ones

he doesn't know how he's supposed to feel so he starts his new dream job and all I can think of is I'm close to my mother again fuck, this is going to ruin everything. And what does he do? He said it. He ruined everything. He threw it all away for some reason.

What was her fault, though, Adam? I mean, which is your mom's fault because... It's his fault for not dealing with it. No shit. I'm with you on that. But if he's any closer to it, I applaud him. Do you want to play this last clip that you have? Sure. You know how Homer Simpson always talks about how to deal with problems? Yeah.

This is how Greg does. It's beautiful. It really is nice. I can't wait to get it. out of the city for Thanksgiving and just like fucking walk that beach and breathe. I just want everything to settle right back down to where it was. It's in a good

spot with everything just settled down at the bottom. No, that's wrong. If you let things settle down to the bottom, that's when you get, that's when you physically get sick. That's when you get like cancer. No, I understand that Ron, but what I mean is like, I'm good in general, but

with the death of my mom, it just stirs everything up. And I have a question. And I go with these emotions, you should go with your emotions and then I'm looking forward to it settling back down and working on shift from that level but hold on I got to ask it I know you have a question and say that because I do have a I have to answer your your other question which is very very important okay all right so um Opie the guy who knows everything about himself went to therapy and worked on himself goes yeah I just need to suppress all this stuff and push it

down and it will come bubbling back up at any point I'll be fine and then you put on it bitter ball I love it. Rod the way he's like, oh, no, actually, that's the opposite of what you want to do. I try that. You deal with stuff. You talk about it.

It's hilarious. No, no. Wow. Wow. What a segment, Adam. What a segment. Wow. Happy Thanksgiving, everybody.

Hope he's mom passed away. Nobody doesn't know what to think about it. I, for one, will give a toast to Mrs. Hughes. I will as well. Tomorrow, we're eating our steaks by the pool. For sure. And also, let's send Ron a little. money. Yeah, let's do that. All right, let's talk about Senatorjad.

I'm looking forward to this segment. So it starts off, John from last night. He gets a super chat that he doesn't understand at all. Play the holiday classic. Felice Navidand. Felice Navidon. So it's Feliz Navadad. It's not Feliz Navadon. I don't know where you get with that.

But also, what this Super Chad actually is is Doxing Abba's dead name. What do you call it? When Ava was a dude. So John puts this up and just starts singing the song because he's such a moron. He has no idea. that he's actually... Yeah, he has no idea that what he's doing is Doc. The one thing that Ava gets very upset about is when you dead name her.

And John's just putting that right up and sticking along with that because he's an idiot. But that's not the important part. The important part of the show is Judy coming on. Now, I'm going to tell you guys something. This is very important. You're going to see these clips. I don't know if other people are clipping this. They should be.

This is an amazing segment. But because John's a moron, Judy is... about 20 decibels lower than John and is echoing. So I had to go in and crank her audio on all of these clips. You actually hear what she's saying. Otherwise, it's almost unwatchable, unlistenable. So I did my best on this one. The introduction to Judy.

Now, remember, John knows Judy from Vince the Lawyer's show. Judy is an attorney who's trying to be a lawtuber. She wants to be a YouTube celebrity talking about the law and stuff. So Vince the lawyer had her on his show, and then John wanted to get her on his show. And Judy is an Asian woman and is an attorney. But apparently, in John's mind, she's also a hot piece of ass. Oh, here she is. All righty.

I want to just welcome everybody. to probably one of the most attractive women I've ever seen in my life. And so smart, please give it up for Miss Judy. Hello, Miss Judy. Hi, hello, Mr. Milentes. How are you today? Good. How are you?

You look so adorable. Now, listen, I like Asian girls as much as the next guy, maybe more so. this is not one of the hottest chicks chats ever seen i'm sorry it's just not the case and oh judy i'll do respect you're a lovely person inside it out but what the fuck is going on jenn is so hard up he's just hitting on every woman he sees he doesn't realize that that's not a compliment to her just makes you sound like you haven't been around a lot right yeah and she talks to him like she's his nurse yes that mr melendez was so client professional business

Oh, we're going to find out that she really understands what's going on here more so than John does, which is great. And, yeah, again, John is just a desperate loser who can't get laid. And so every chance he gets to talk to a girl, it's nonstop hitting on them. So they start talking about Vince the lawyer. Now, one of the things that John has to do is he has to make himself look like he's cooler and better than Vince the lawyer because she probably respects Vince a lot more than she respects John, being a fellow lawyer. and actually having a career and money and stuff like that. So John has to immediately throw Vince under the bus and start tattle-telling on Vince.

You know, I think, I mean, I think he makes fun of you all the time. But Judy, but like, why do you want to associate yourself with him? Like, he uses the N-word all the time. I've never heard him use that. Do you want me to send you the clips of him using it? Wow. this is the first thing that happened in their conversation like oh you like vanswell guess what he's

is the edwards you shouldn't like him and i'll even prove it john has literally said the edward of the howard's turn show the fact that this is the thing that he stands by is like i think this guy said a naughty word once yeah yeah we heard you say it on terrestrial radio you moron hold on i'm just going to send judy a tape really fast yeah i just said that line show there we go i wish he called his bluff and he's like actually i don't know how to send clip Yeah, he would make Jerry beer sales do it or dirty deeds or something. Can you send that to Judy? Yeah, John, let me get right on that.

Is this the lawyer that Vince interviewed on a podcast that John watched where they were making fun of him? Okay, yeah. So he has to start with this because I remember Judy was like, oh, that man looks like an alcoholic and like a real, like I wouldn't want to be on that kind of podcast. so it's, a, weird to see her here and be, I guess, why he's coming in all hot. They were clowning John, and John got very upset about that. But now, because Judy is such a smoke show, he's got to be the alpha male and explain to Judy that, no, your buddy Vince is a very bad man. He says, me, grope. Oh, he also uses the other one, too.

He did it just last night on my stream. Really? Yes. okay well that's Judy if I were you I'd run for the hills yeah I mean there have been some people who told me from the beginning that this guy's bad news

all right first off if you want to be a YouTube person attorney whatever you're trying to do Judy you got to figure out your microphone I'm cranking this thing over here so that we can even hear and there's this echo probably on John's on because John doesn't use headphones because he's a moron as well,

but all of this is just bad, bad production. And the fact that John goes on and goes, you shouldn't even like that guy. He says mean things, and he's a bad person. It's such a simp move. But I mean, John, just so you know, girls like the bad guy, all right? That's kind of their thing, a lot of them.

So that's not going to work. Like, by the way, that guy's an outlaw. You wouldn't want to run in his circles. You'll regret that. Like, oh, yeah, I bet I will regret that. that you fucking idiot. Here, baby, I'll protect you. Yeah, you're getting, you're getting VTL's dick wet right now by doing this,

you idiot, doing it wrong. He's got nothing else. He can't build himself up because he's got nothing going on, so we can only tear down what's around him. So then John wants to tell Judy all about why he filed the ethics complaint against Vince the lawyer. He's telling her to stop being his friend and all this stuff and explaining why she shouldn't be his friend.

She came on for a very different reason on this show. so um but would you like to go ahead and take this law school quiz uh yeah but the whole thing with okay yeah i'm probably gonna fail because i haven't been studying for it because i'm about an intellectual quiz it just has to do all right but why is Vince he's mad that i trashed i'm trashing him i'm just telling him the truth Vince everybody knows that i followed him at this complaint so this is great she goes i want to do this quiz with you Because you were talking about taking the LSAP. I want to see how prepared you are for it.

And John immediately has an excuse. Well, I'm going to do bad because I haven't a chance. I got this other stuff going on. I was at my neighbor's party. Yeah, yeah. I got to joke at my neighbor's party. Yeah, I got to hit the mute button by mistake. So he's got all these excuses all ready to go.

And I like that she even goes, no, something you study for. It's just to see if you're logical enough, an irrational person. Yeah, you understand how reason works. Telling you I'm going to do bad and I need an excuse now. This is so that episode of the Brady Bunch or some shit where you invite the girl over to help you study but you really don't want to study and you never get around to open in that book. He's a grown man and thinks she's not aware of this. Yeah. He literally is spending the entire time here trying to get in her pants.

It gets very obvious at certain points. But she is on here to help him with this exam that he's planning on taking in January. they definitely will not take and will never take and there's no fucking way in how John will ever take the LSAT and if he does I can't wait to see the results it's going to be amazing not since Kim Kardashian if we've seen someone fell at

becoming a lawyer more spectacularly than John Melendez so he decides no no we're just going to talk about why I hate Vince the lawyer why Vince the lawyer is a bad guy and so he starts listing his complaints about VTL he showed pictures of him at my house

claiming he's trying to break in using my social security number and I got a pause it doesn't sound like there's any more to that story I'll just take it

face value he took pictures of himself trying to bring to my house using my social security number is that the number

that's on the pad to get into your house your social security number what do you mean what does that mean we know it is now and we know

he hasn't changed it since what an idiot is he showed pictures of him at my house claiming he's trying to break in using my social security

number. Okay. And did a show about it. And he did a show claiming I was drunk driving, because he knew the guy from Mercedes and he had access to my camera and played some car driving over traffic lights. John, when you, when you slur the phrase drunk driving, it sounds believable.

Yeah. He knew a guy. Hold on him. A couple of us Js in that drunk. He knew a guy at Mercedes-Benz. And he got footage of him driving over traffic lights. Yeah. None of that makes sense. What is Judy thinking at this point? Oh, Judy knows she's dealing with a slow.

Okay. Yeah. Judy definitely knows what's going on here. I got to play that part again. What happened was when someone filmed John leaving the Tonight Show 10th anniversary party that he threw, and that was after he was up singing the doors, he's all wasted. Keep your eyes on the road.

and then he gets behind the wheel and drives off and there was footage of that and now John's turned that into he's got a buddy at Mercedes who got footage of me driving over traffic lights that weren't real do you know him do you know the guy of Mercedes driving because he knew the guy from Mercedes and he had access to my camera and played some car driving over traffic lights. And then he started calling me an anti-Semite

because I own a Mercedes. And then, like, the myriad of times he used the N-word. And when I was talking to the head lawyer at the evidence complaint, I said, like, the head lawyer that goes, trying, I don't understand something.

He goes, this guy's got, like he's a lawyer. Why why does he do this? and I said because he wants to be famous and the head of the ethics committee goes John you ever seen the movie King of Comedy I go yeah he's Rupert Pumpkin

Who can't Judy's like Judy goes you don't have to take the test Okay Yeah Judas is like what the fuck is this man man talking about John's such a child And then he said the N word

And then and then and then You're smoking cigarettes Yeah and then I told his mom in his mouth. I was like, yeah, he's bad. I was like, I know. I'm telling you. The head lawyer. Right. The head lawyer. Is that an attorney who gets had? I don't know. I don't know what that is. He thinks she's going to get Rupert Pumpkin just like that. She's going to get that kind of reference. That's right up her alley. And it's amazing that they called him the exact same thing everybody calls you. That's incredible. Isn't that amazing how that works out? It's funny that you say that, Adam, because I didn't pull this clip, but he goes, you know what I'm talking about?

the king of comedy she goes yeah i think i saw that when it came out she's just like i haven't seen that movie in decades yeah it's a pretty old reference have you seen jaws yeah right almost famous there's two board games in pulp fiction no all right so um she asked a follow-up question like wait did vince really show up at your house you know let's find out what john says of that what really show up at your house i thought it appeared to he showed a picture of a and I tried to say Vince I know you weren't there and he goes oh yes I was Johnny boy and then he shows a picture of a beer can in front of my door and then a picture of him and then my neighbor's house across the street and then and then a shadow of him on my lawn I mean what am I supposed to think I'm in school I'm like what the fuck even saying I'm in school he sounds like a child yeah and that's And then my neighbor's house is in it. And then, and then Chad literally streamed from outside of my house, the house that I'm in right now.

He literally parked in front of this house and streamed facing the house. And he's all concerned that Vince was like possibly at his house. Who gives a shit? I care. You think he sounds like a child. She's waiting for him to finish so she can help him study for his homework. I know. Right.

This is the most insane back and forth. And I've watched a lot of John clips in my day. But she actually has a good point here. She's like, but why would you be afraid that he's at your house? Like, you guys are buddies. What's the deal? Why would you be afraid, though? I thought he was sort of like your friend.

My friend, he videotate me while I was in a bathroom getting undressed for the shower. Oh, I'm sorry. I meant gay lover. I'm sorry. I said friend, but I meant gay lover. My apologies. What's going on right here? what she's saying is it sounds like you spend an awful lot of time together

in bathrooms in Vegas and houses drinking beer why are you still talking to him also be careful john if you're trying to fuck this broad don't call her stupid but that's actually a great question why was john a friend why was he concerned that vince was going to his house in florida like what so what who's even TP the tree the palm tree

maybe what is that I don't know I don't know I want to get there to go do that yes let's do that tonight literally oh shit we should have said that while we were streaming damn it

I remember when John streamed from the front of my house and I don't know if it was Shulie or someone reached out they're just like hey man it's pretty fucked up I'm like I don't care why would I care about that yeah but did you see John's shadow on your lawn did you see it I know that's so insane.

That would have meant war. Yeah. Oh my gosh. It gets even more childish. How could he do that? Because I was in his hotel room and I went to take a shower and I tied the doors shut because I knew he would do that. And he got in between the cracks and then claimed he went under my blanket and checked me out naked. What?

Yes. Thank you, Judy. What? he sounds like a six-year-old yeah he's all spazzing out over this and then and then and then and then he took a photo of me and I didn't want to take the photo and then and then he posted out the internet and then we touched weeners I have to admit I don't think I ever admit this Vince the lawyer produces some really good content that he got John to do this I know the fact that John spaszing out like this I have to say, Vince, well done. Holy shit. This is incredible.

You can tell she's looking at him, like, even if it's true, why are you telling me this? Like, wasn't the N-word enough? Do we have to talk about all of this other stuff? Like, why would you say this? Why are you sharing a hotel room? Right. Judy's talking to a 60-year-old man. And he's going, and then we were in a hotel room, and he took a photo of me,

and he was peeked underneath the covers, and took a photo of my weiner. And she's like, hold on a second. Why were you guys sharing a hotel room? Wait, you two are sharing a hotel room somewhere? Yeah, he flew me to go to Atlantic City because he loves me. He's obsessed with me. And he wanted me to, so he stayed in the room one night. And the whole time, he's just like, like going through my pants pockets, going through my wallet.

I mean, it's, I mean, it's insane. I'm sorry. I can be bought. I can be bought. You have to have morals, but I can be bought. I know I'm a just to do it, but this sounds like a relationship with a scorned gay lover. Everything that he's saying, it's all in the context. I'm not taking anything out of context.

This is what John was saying on this show. If I'm going, oh, I see what's happening here. They had a big falling out in their gay relationship. That makes sense. Oh, yeah, and he wants her to have nothing to do with him because he's getting jealous. Right. Yes. He said he was going to leave me for you.

I don't want that to happen. So Judy's trying to process this information. She's like, wait a second. What's going on here? You guys are in a hotel room because you put you up there for a night. And is any of this true? So what happened? So he was digging through your stuff.

He was trying to record you showering. Yes. And he put the tape on his show through the slits of the door of me and my underwear. And Judy, I swear to God, this is all true. I'm not, this is all real. This is such childish behavior. And I swear to God, it's true. You've got to believe me on this, too.

He was so mean to me. Do you have your hand on your heart? Okay, okay. I just want to point out what he's talking about. Vince filming him in his underwear or pulling up the sheets and taking pictures of his junk or whatever the fuck he's saying that Vince was doing is way worse than anything that he says that Shulie and I have done. He claims that we send people to his shows or to the bar to record him and stuff.

Of course, we don't do any of those things. But what he's described right now is way worse. And Vince was on his show this week. Vince is a regular on John show, but we're the assholes, Shulia and I. That's why she should never speak to him ever again. This is so insane. Right. The whole point of this is like, you've got to say away from that guy.

He's a bad guy. And as she asked more questions, like, what kind of relationship do you two have? What's going on here? He said Vegas would be fun and I was in a good mood. Right. Being different that day. I thought, uh, but no.

So Judy's logical. And she goes, so I don't understand. Why are you guys friends? Then why do you still communicate with him? Because he. Because he gives you stuff? Because he like, like he, no, he doesn't give me shit. but he lores me in

and like you know just like you know just to you know just to get me to I don't like I don't it's an odd it's an odd relationship I don't hate him but I don't trust him

because he sends my link out to people and which is not good like I don't know if you know that like if I sent him my link he'll send it he shares my techs with people that I'm at war with. I'm at war with. Judy's just a civilian.

Everyone's got a war. She's got her own battle. She knows how that says. I just wish she would follow this up with. You know, Vince sounds pretty cool. Yeah. John's straightened to do some explaining right there. So why used to talk to this guy?

Well, that was great too. She goes, why? Because he gives you stuff. Yeah. Yep. Vince gives John information. and beer. And sometimes random shit from 7-Eleven.

Yeah, and $12.5 million, getting that. Well, yes, and sometimes lawsuits and stuff like that. But it's so funny that she goes, why are you so friends with this guy? And John didn't have an answer to that. He's like, uh, humada, hubba-huh, haba-ha-da-ab-da. Well, he's not that bad. Yeah, right. It was the same thing when they asked Bill Burr, why he doesn't get miles on his travel.

You saw it. They don't even stop to take it in. They're just coming up with excuses on the fly. Just talking and talking, pushing it back. Never once going, why don't I do that? Maybe I should do that. Think about that for a second. Yeah, sometimes people have a good point.

Sometimes people on the outside. Every once in a while. Maybe this lawyer you're asking advice from has some good advice. You should listen to. I don't know. Well, check this out, everyone. She explains the dabble verse. She has this whole thing figured out.

We've talked about this for years. You know, Thanksgiving's tomorrow. It'd be really funny if anybody filmed themselves trying to tell their family what the dabbleverses. Try to explain this to a family member who doesn't know anything about it. It's very difficult to do. Adam, you're shaking your head. You're like, nope. Because even having to say you'll love this documentary by cheat shit or shit or something, it's tough.

It's tough. It's tough. That is a good place to start. It's a tough name. It's a tough name. It's a good place to start. It's a reference to a thing you don't want to have to explain. So somehow Judy, who's way on the outside of this, has the dabble verse completely

figured out. Judy, he's not a good person. Yeah, it does seem very strange. He does seem obsessed with you. But don't you feel like this strange community called the Tapelverse? And I'm still kind of figuring things out here. It's hard because it's not normal. They need this kind of wacky hijinks between you and Vince to keep things going.

No, not, no, Vince. It's interesting. Yeah, but Vince. Your show is very good. boring otherwise without Vince. I mean... So why do you watch all the time? I don't. I don't. That's

why I don't understand. Yes! Judy! Judy! This is amazing. Don't you understand, John? Vince fucking with you is why people are even covering you in the first place? Because you're a boer fest. And he goes, what? Then why do you watch? I don't.

I can't possibly watch this show. John, you suck. This is fantastic. This is why, Chris, you heard me screaming throughout the house today when I was watching. He goes like, the Judy, yes! This fucking rules. He just got a lot hotter in my eyes.

Yes. Now I want to fuck Judy. It was like a rookie who's never been at bat. Just hits a home run out of nowhere. I mean, he did not see that coming. It was just like a cartoon. Oh, this is great. So Judy explains by the Davelverse exists and he's still just like, no,

no, my show's great. And then she goes on to explain why his show sucks. This might be my favorite clip of all time how dare you say my show is boring well let me tell you this you know when i first started tuning in to your shows sometimes it just seemed like there's so much dead time because when i was trying to you know learn how to get better on youtube and stuff they said you should have some sort of special topic for each of your shows yeah i do to the topic Yeah, but you also shouldn't have too much dead time where you're just kind of like sitting there.

Did you just not see me playing songs? That was good. That was good. I like that. I even included your name in it. Wow. This is amazing. Judy's going, yeah, Jen, I watch a show.

You don't do anything. You just sit there and stare at stuff. Nothing going on. But for your birthday, I made a card. your name in it, and then I gave you the card with your name in it. And I had Chris pull this for him because it just reminded me at this moment. You can actually pinpoint the second

when his heart rips in half. And now. That was John's patron. I was like, My show's boring. I'm true. I know we're going to get married. I've been fantasizing why you and be getting married. I already planned a marriage.

So now you guys, we've been studying John for a year, So I'm sure you guys know that John's going to reflect on this. Take us a minute. Take a beat and go, yeah, you know what? There's room for improvement on my program. I can see why a lot of people clown me. You know, maybe my show wasn't as good as it could be.

And try to maybe work with Judy on things that he could do to improve. Nope. Actually, that's not the case at all. In fact, he decides that he has a defense for this. But, okay, in my defense, you don't know a lot of the character. This whole history. Like who is Who is Lady Kay?

He's the guy that started the whole fight with me by when I was doing just a podcast about entertainment and started to trash me and so he is the guy that that started that and then this other, this loser

that, you know, was going broke, decided to ask Lady Kay if he could just watch me every day like these guys. Judy, everybody watches me. Do you understand? So as boring as you may think it is, I get...

Apparently, people are obsessed with you for some weird reason. Yes. Judy's got this all figured out. That's saying that his show is boring really triggered, John. Yeah. He keeps coming back to that.

He's like, well, why is everyone watching me that if I'm so boring? Somebody else is broke somewhere. What about that? I know. Could you imagine following this if you didn't know what the fucking is talking about? Who's Lady Kay?

Well, Lady Key, this guy is trashed me. There's this other loser who was broke, and he started doing stuff. He started it. He started it. It's fantastic. Actually, I like hearing John describe what the devil versus more than anyone else. I like his version of it. It's very funny.

So, John explains, like, listen, I know I'm not always eating a home run, but this show is like improv. You know, I have to make it up as I go. But this kind of stuff is, Judy, no offense. I'm just improvving, baby. Yeah, yeah. Well, I mean, clearly the rules don't apply to you because you're like a celebrity. So people will watch you no matter what you do, even if you're sitting there making weird elephant noises or I don't know. What else do you tend to talk about? You tend to just like trash talking people. Judy has this entire thing figured out.

I don't know much of John she's watched, probably not very much, as we're going to find out in a moment. But this is amazing that she's sitting there and explaining to this idiot that being a celebrity is the reason why people are obsessed with you. We can't believe you had the career that you did and you're this bad at everything. And Judy's trying to make it on YouTube. She's like, I'm studying this. I'm trying to figure out how to make a successful YouTube channel and grow an audience. So I'm figuring out like to have a topic and to cover that and not be boring and not have any dead air. and she's going, you break all the rules because you suck at this and people watch and pay attention because you were on the Howard Stern Show.

This thing that John will never understand, bragging him on his resume is the reason why he's the biggest locale on the planet because he was on the Howard Stern Show and was with Jay Leno and did host a pro football arm wrestling thing that no one ever saw until we showed it to him. This is why it's fascinating to everyone and John just hears celebrity goes, yep, isn't that amazing? He's like, no, you're making elephant noise. You're just trashing people. What is this? What is this show? I watch it. I can't figure it out.

She also isn't an alcoholic and not currently drunk at the moment. So she remembers as far back as 10 minutes ago when she's like, well, a host is supposed to, you know, prepare and have highlight topics. And he's like, I do. I do. So then how does he defend himself 10 minutes later? I make this shit all up as I go along. It's nice for me. Yeah.

Well, which one is it? Right. I don't do any prep. Well, yeah, no, that's what I'm saying. Your show sucks. You don't do any prep. That's the point. That's the point I was making. Holy shit.

This gets even better. This is fantastic. This is, I'm trying to be tactful here, but I kind of feel like when your friend, Ava is on. Oh, sorry, Opah. Yeah, it's just like really dull. Yes. It's really dull. The show is a slug

No one could get through it When John's on there with Ava They're both griping about the shit way Or whatever the fuck they're talking about And I love the fact that she's going Yeah This is not a show, John, what you're doing It's not interesting

No one's being entertained by this He was just so happy He got to correct her on something Anything yep Oh yeah Yeah So it's great Because John gets so jealous

Because she explains that Vince is actually good on John's show for a very specific reason. Yeah, so that's why it's interesting when you do have Vince on because at least he keeps a conversation going instead of more, you know, dead time where people are just kind of sitting there.

You must be in love with Vince. You do know he's married, right? Yes, of course. And you have seen what he looks like, right? Oh, he's so jealous. He's so jealous. She's like, when it's on your show, it's great, he, like, mixes things up. He gets you talking.

He gets you pissed off. There's emotions and stuff going on. Not like, Ava just sits there and goes, yeah, I know, we fucking hate the same people. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. He's like, you know that he sucks, right? And he's ugly, right? He's married. She's doing what all smart people do.

She's just playing it a little dumb. I don't know much about this dabbled verse. You know what the show's like with Ava and other people and Vince, like, you know what the dabble verse is. she says that out loud two more times you know we all show up at her house right so john resorts to what a child would when uh the the pretty girl that he likes is challenging him he reminds the pretty girl that he's super hot because um you know your contabalism slows down yes that's why i'm in the gym almost every day judy judy have you seen these Oh, wow, that's great.

That's great. Wow. Do you take steroids? Home run, Judy. Holy shit. Wow, that's great. What are you roiding up or something? You have such big muscles.

And the rest of you is so unhealthy. So you would think, after all this back and forth, where Judy's like, you're boring. I don't get why your show is popular. You're really bad at it. All of these things that she's been saying, John would be like, all right, well, I guess I guess I'm not fucking Judy, right? Nope. John continues to hit on Judy.

He's talking about flying her to Florida. He's talking about visiting her in North Carolina. And this gets very uncomfortable right here. I'm the world famous stuttering John. Okay. Yeah, yeah. But I never even heard of you before. Well, how old are you?

I'm not going to say because I... Are you, all right, are you at least in your 50s? Um, not, not answering. All right, so you're in your 40s, perfect together. Uh, okay. Let's see. All I wanted you to do is come on my show and take this quiz. I would, but I was in the gym.

Especially with things. So. An asshole. Is this amazing? He's like, all right, Tuts, you don't think I'm world famous? How old are you? I'd rather not talk about my age. All right, so are you between 45 and 49?

I don't know what I was that about that. So you're over 51. Is that what you're saying? I don't want to see the gym. Then he brings up the gym. Yeah, I just wanted you to come up my show and take this quiz. To help me with your LSAT. I was in the gym.

I'm very busy working out. Do you want me to show you the guns again? No, I've seen the guns, Chad, we're good. Oh, so you knew beforehand that you didn't want to take this test and you still had me on just to waste my time. So here's my question, guys. We know that El Hariblai likes to brag about Dabler of the Year. year yeah you know he won that at dabble con too he claims that he's still dabbler of the year because there hasn't been another dabble con no that's a year it only lasts for one year it's 12 months is

judy rookie of the year is she dabbler of the year is i mean the queen dabbler we we have to assign something judy crush it on this episode we strip vince of the lawyer title and put it on to judy she's judy the lawyer j t l there it is judy there it is now judy JTL and we never speak of Vince's name again. Wow. Well done. Well done, Judy. That was exceptional. I really hope she comes back. I know, me too.

Oh, yeah. It sucked that I had to play with the levels so much, but I think there might be more to that interview. We might want to revisit. Yes, please. At some point. All right. Cardiff is obviously here in the chat hanging out with us. And Annie is

in the backstage. What's up, Annie? Oh, hello. Oh, hello. No Megan game. No, is it gay today. Megan is on assignment tonight. So, um, we are going to poke a dab. Remember when you tell me out of respect to Opie,

you're going to have, is it gay? She's at it down. I was like, everyone's going to be so sad from this Opie thing, man. We're not going to have room or time for you. I didn't say that. Just said there is no, is it gay today. You're right, buddy. No, is it against.

Okay. That's not what I said it all. Borla stuffed it out. Get it all. Yep. Mm-hmm. That's not what. I said, I said, Megan's busy.

I don't even know. I told you why, but yeah, I just said there is no way it's gay today. That's so funny. In Megan's defense, she offered to make a game, and I said, no, she has to run the game or else it's not, is it gay? It's not the same without her. Sean, the producer, coming in. My Thanksgiving week client schedule is insane, so I've been catching what I can between

clients' appointments, but I'll have to go back and watch this whole episode. What I've seen has been great. Thank you, Sean, the producer. It was hit or miss. I'll be honest, but the holy segment and the Southern John segments were really good. I appreciate. All right, Andy. Those are the important ones.

You ready to poke a dabbler with us? I'm ready to try. Let's go. It's time for everyone's favorite new game show to poke a dabbler. What is it, Carl, and Adam never touched the bush? Are you ready? the Pope the dabbler

It's amazing to me The amount of ways They try To fuck with me Lady K And Shitway are working Overtime For the first times

In their lives Trying to fuck me They are trying Their best At domestic terrorism Along with Rocco Burrow And all these other assholes They could

They have to figure out domestic terrorism close because that's all they got it's all they got but I fear

nobody bring it Chad bring it oh did they strike the video Chadley it's not up there anymore

the one where you threatened to break my jaw what happened to that What happened to that, Chadley? You dumb fuck. You don't threaten violence. See, Lady Kmart, he'll be busy telling you all that I'm threatening people. I'm not threatening anybody.

If I say when you see me in a room, look the other way, that's not threatening. It just means I don't want to deal with you. If I say, I don't know what I'm going to do by seeing the room, it's not threatening. Maybe I'm going to... What did John say next? Here are your choices. Number one, run away like the shit wear. B. Ignore you.

Next. Cry. Four. Make fun of your shirt. And lastly, buy you a beer. And lastly, too, ask you to go outside. To post. a dabbler.

Now, I don't know how this is possible, but long before it even paused on where he was going to stop, Christian Blatt had the answer cry, also promo code bear. That's not a promo code. WTP is the promo code, hackamated.com. How the fuck is Christian

producing these things now? What's going on? I am going to go with the next cry, because Christian Blatt said it before it was even asked, and before that was even a multiple choice. It was your idea, right? It was your idea. I'm just stealing it.

Adam, what do you think? I'm going with one. Runaway like the shitware. Okay. I like that. Annie? Four, making fun of yo re-shirt. Okay.

And producer Chris, what do you think? I also went for. All right. See, Lady Kmart, he'll be busy telling you all that I'm threatening people. I'm not threatening anybody. If I say, when you see me, in a room, look the other way. That's not threatening.

It just means I don't want to deal with you. If I say, I don't know what I'm going to do by seeing in a room, it's not threatening. Maybe I'm going to cry. Oh, Christian Blatt. Holy shit. Well done, my friend. I think he got the link or something. I think he's cheating.

Maybe I'm going to celebrate. You can't even get me for an implication. Wow. You got me there. What a great attorney is. You can try. I'm sorry for using big words, KB. Sorry, sorry, Pinky.

I'm using three, four, sometimes five-syllable words. I'm sorry. Has John never used a five-syllable word? No. He's had a five-syllable sentence before, but a word? I don't know. But Cape Meeney, first of all, after what I hear, Alex Stein, I mean, Alex Stein now, too?

Dove, Alex? Who's next, Chadley? God. Fucking hell. Get a hold of yourself, girl. That's all for this time. Come back next time to find out if you are man enough to poke a dabbler. Brought to you by patreon.com slash cartiffelectric.

and Hackamania. Go to hackamania.com right now and get your tickets using promo code JT to save 10% on your tickets. If Carl said any other promo code while I was talking, he's a big... Not even if he didn't say anything.

Oh, okay. There you got it. Sit, Eugene, sit. Good dog. He knows me well. He does. Shout out to Card. A great job last night with Chad, Mark. Yeah, that was great. Very, very impressed with that, not an easy thing to do.

Wow, what an episode. What a show. What do we do now? What's usually, what do we usually do after Topoka Dad? Rocco was going to introduce us and then we came out with our debates and we debated, I guess. Well, I have a new review if you want to hear it. And I love to hear a new review from our review girl, Annie. What do you got for us? This one comes in from Cranberry Electric, thank you for updating your review and slash leaving a new one. This one says, Carl is a backstabber in a liar. I also have it on good authority that Carl eats poop.

Could you imagine such a thing? He puts poop in his mouth, hot steaming poop on that silly face. He chews the poop. He swallows the poop, and then he smiles a poop smile. Carl eats poop. Like a shit-eating grin? Is that what they're trying to say that I'm going on? No, it's a poop smile.

Very different. Okay. All right. Fair enough. He eats half as much of poop as you think he does. He really, it's not as... Yeah, it's only 50% of the poop that people say I'm eating. Really, not that bad.

Cranberry has a big swing on his reviews. The last one was one star. The one before that was one star. This one's five stars. Oh, well, thank you. At least he likes you eating poop, I guess. Yeah, keep it up, Carl. I aim to please.

I'll do whatever people want me to do. I didn't get a chance to listen to voicemails today because I'm on vacation. Now, we'll get caught up on Saturday. I promise. E-Roc will be on. We'll listen to the voicemails. I don't get a chance to listen today. But, Annie, anything that you're promoting.

I would like to promote my YouTube channel. If you want to watch me get mad at a game, I streamed last night. Go to my YouTube channel, Insanity, InS, A-N-N-E-I-T-Y. Very good. Adam, anything you're promoting, my friend. I encourage everybody, if you can, watch the full Opie episode on his channel. Let's all pick one of his channels and watch it on the same one. Yep.

And see the whole story. and the more horrific elements of it. And if you can, toast your mother or Greg Opie Hughes' mother or anybody's mother on Thanksgiving. Skull. Cheers. Cheers. I love it.

Captain Cheese. Is promo code come still valid? No, the promo code is WATP. Hackamania.com. Promocode WATP. We'll all be there. The four of us will be in Las Vegas, April 10th through the 12th. Wouldn't you want to be there, too?

Team Kweef and Beef. Hey, one year with WTP, much love, boys. Grow some shoulders, PC. Kid, I love you. That's low. Team Kweeepin, B, thank you for being a member for 12 months. I do appreciate that. We wouldn't be here without support from people like Kweef and Beef.

Sean, the producer. Why is there a tiny Cardiff behind Cardiff? Cardiff has fun. Yeah. You know, that's the thing about Cardiff and his debate with Chad. Say what you want about Cardiff. No one's having more fun in the Dabelverse than Card of Electric. You can't take that away from him, and it's very difficult to argue with the guy.

Subreddit surfing is back and has been very funny. Subreddit surfing with Vinnie Paulino. I got to go. Bye. I got to go. I got to go. I got to go. I got to go. Okay, bye. Bye, Brennan. Go fuck yourselves. Have a good week. Okay, folks.

Guess what? I don't know. Who gives a shit? Why I'm even still doing this? I'm out of here. That was a great episode. That was really great. Okay, bye.