Who Are These Podcasts? - Ep681 - Gold Pill Podcast

Episode Date: December 7, 2025

This week we’re checking in on Meredith and Amy, two mystics who can’t finish a sentence. They have a guest on who predicted 9-11 and makes awesome memes. Amy is super stoked about the memes! Lucy Tightbox joins the show to help us figure out what a Saturn Return is. Ryan Smeltzer creates a new version of Vanilla Ice’s “Ice Ice Baby” for Christmas. Meghan Markle released a new holiday special that proves she has no family or loved ones. Stuttering John has the most delusional fantasy we’ve ever heard! We finish up with a round of “To Poke A Dabbler” and your voicemails. Lucy’s channel - https://www.youtube.com/@onceoverwithcayley Support us, get bonus episodes, and watch live every Saturday and Wednesday: ⁠http://bit.ly/watp-patreon⁠ ⁠https://watp.supercast.tech/⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Canada's Wonderland is bringing the holiday magic this season with Winterfest on select nights now through January 3rd. Step into a winter wonderland filled with millions of dazzling lights, festive shows, rides, and holiday treats. Plus, Coca-Cola is back with Canada's kindest community, celebrating acts of kindness nationwide with a chance at 100,000 donation for the winning community and a 2026 holiday caravan stop. Learn more at canadaswunderland.com. I told them in the strongest of words to just do it. You see, this is a, we just do it kind of show. I mean, I would say like everyone has some type of, you know, like, complicitness. Episode 6801.

Are you a boner guy? Oh, I was a boner guy. You know what? I missed penis. What are you talking about? I'm the one who should apologize. Is it going to be absolutely riveting? Is it going to change your life by any stretch? Probably not, but it's going to be at least entertaining, okay?

By the way, for those people that are in the back, remember to shut the fuck up. Tight, tight, tight, yeah. What's in the fucking box? I think it names is Lucy, but they all call a loose. Maddieo! Cuzz-a-ro! Cuzz-a-roo! Slapperoo-o-o!

It's showtime. WATP Hello to another episode of Who Are These Podcasts? The only show that didn't turn on their webcam on Thursday night? Wait, what happened in this? I'm your host, Carol, the $850,000 man with me this week. The woman who's as tight as John Stand-U-Sat. I'm once over with Kaylee, it's Lucy Tightbox.

A little tighter, even. And producer Chris is here as well, ladies. Please go to Who Are These.com. We are email address, a voicemail number, link to our subreddit, link to our Discord server, link to our merchandise, link to our YouTube channel, and that link to Patreon and Supercast featuring two exclusive bonus episodes every single month this Tuesday. We'll be back with another edition of living in the past with Stuttering John Melendez. Looking forward to that because we have a lot of older podcasts that we've been getting into

from 2017. And then someone sent me today a very interesting segment with Sam, Simon on the Howard Stern show when Sam went to the Tonight Show and visited John and wanted to report back. Yeah, he sure did. Lots of tattling going on our buddy John Belendos on Howard Stern. So we might check in on that as well. Hackamania.

Hackamania 3, April 10th through 12th in Las Vegas. Hackamania.com promo code WATP is where you can get 10% off your tickets. You know what? I'll even be professional. I'll put up this little banner right here. Look at this. Hack to the future. April 10th through 12th, save 10% with WATP at hackamania.com.

We will all be there and looking forward to it. Also, if you're a Western New Yorker or you're in the area, come see us at three heads, the isotopes at three heads. We're all in the isotopes, right? Yep. Still? Yeah. Currently.

The three of us will be performing a Christmas show. Saturday, December 13th at Three Heads Brewing. So come down and check us out there. should be a good time. We also encourage our listeners. Give us five stars where every review podcast and then shit all over us

in the comment section today. We'll be reviewing the Gold Pill podcast. This was a suggestion from generic tag. We've all listened separately, not discuss it with each other beforehand. Let's get into it. It's a show hosted by Meredith Swame and Amy D.

And let me just read the description of the show so we can kind of understand. Shut some light on this. Yeah, let's do that. What is the gold pill? Oh, no. Smiley face. the gold pill is sort of a play on the verbiage of the matrix movies instead of the red pill and the blue pill both amy and mare both prefer the gold pill both prefer we are two mystics who have a fire under our asses to open up pathways of communication and discovery together and with guests the gold pill to us is openness brilliance vulnerability remaining connected to spiritual impulses and synchronicities activating our

our natural abilities, too muchness being our own save? I mean, this goes out of that. I can't anymore. You take forever to say nothing. I don't know why you're criticizing it. It has both a smiley face and I'm thinking about their asses. That's true. I'm going to show you what they look like in a little while.

Oh, no. Yeah, you won't be thinking about their asses for very much longer. I regret saying anything. But why don't we start off with introducing the podcast? Hello there. And thank you so much for tuning into another edition of the Gold Pell podcast. I am Meredith. and I am here with my beautiful, amazing, talented, creative, wonderful host, Amy.

Hi, Amy. How are you? Hello, Mayor. I'm really great this morning. Thank you for asking. I'm really so excited today because we haven't had, like, guests in a minute. Okay. Listen to the show kind of took me back.

It's been a while. So we've covered a podcast like this. Yes. These two dummies are stupid. I really, I run out of the gate. I'm like, oh, good, this is going to be a fun one. So thank you for generic tag. for suggesting this in our suggestions channel in our Discord server.

Much appreciated. So they have a guest on the show, Nate Lemke. And Nate wrote a book, but I guess he also creates memes. And Amy's very excited about this because Amy's into memes. I am a meme lover, if you didn't know that about me. And I really love any sort of meme that understands the power of itself and really projects lots of information and but just like a tiny little frame. Are memes self-aware?

No, but that is a good summing it up for listening to this. There's so many fucking words. They don't mean anything. No. I like memes that understand the power of themselves. Yeah. And memes are not that powerful. I'll be honest with it.

They can be fun sometimes or cute. Yeah, the best one I ever saw was cute. Right. But apparently they're powerful. so they start explaining that this guy predicted 9-11 he's talking about his current book that's out that's predicting the currency collapse and they're making it seem like this guy's really powerful and has all this knowledge and is predicting the future he's done it before he's going to do it again and after they go through this whole spiel this is dumb meredith's takeaway maybe the CIA would kind of like hop on and artificially boost my book as a sort of like predictive programming to provide prepare people for the coming currency reset. You know, and I was like, I'll take whatever publicity I can get. You're a Leo.

I love that. I'm also a Leo. Oh, yeah, yeah. I'm a July, Leo, July 31st. Oh, my God. Your birthday is the day after mine. Jesus Christ. It's important.

It's not at all. I don't know why she brought that up. No. I'm not sure after all. And I can tell you, man, he was saying some heavy shit in there, if you understand or believe any of it. And her takeaway is, oh, you're a Leo. And this idiot, we find out that he's just as dumb as these two.

Because he's just like, yeah. Birthday's the 31st of July. Whoa. Leo. Chances of that. Good stuff. So Meredith is going to let us know that she's got other questions for sure. No worries.

Yeah. No. So, Amy, what were you going to say? And then I do have something else. Sure. Okay. I guess I'm going to besides just you're a Leo. Okay, good.

I'm glad to hear that, Meredith. The way that they formulate asking questions on the show was mind-boggling to me because they just jump back to topics that were discussed 20 minutes ago. Oh, and do you remember when you said this thing? Let's talk about that again. Yeah, it's a little scatterbrained. We're a little scattered. So you just heard her say, take it away, Amy.

All right, great. Let's hear what Amy has to say. Well, I was just going to go ahead and tap the book a little more and say it's so great how he talks about, he uses these really huge concepts, like with physics, psychology, conspiracy, what have you. And he is able to also really ground it in a very 3D, kind of like salacious sort of parallel storytelling. I don't know. I'm probably being way too analytical. But it's, I just can't.

If you like this show, like this is your book. That's all I got to say about that. What you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. at no point in your rambling, incoherent response, were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought? I've never heard these three things used in a row.

She explained that these were huge concepts. Physics, psychology, and conspiracy. Do those things relate to each other? That's how you know that you like the gold pill podcast. That's what they're all about over here. That's right, taking the red and the blue pill together. Even worse is that she thinks she might be being too analytical. I would say there's none of that going on there.

And turning that into parallel storytelling, like none of that made any sense. We can all agree on that. Yes. Did I say enough words? I should add something else stupid. What's fun, though, about this show is that there's two other people. And you think one of them would be like, that didn't mean anything. No.

What are you talking about? They all agree with each other. Yeah. Instead they're just like, yeah, uh-huh. That's it. That's what we're doing right here. And I mean, I understand the author of the book, like, I think she said that it was good. The gist of it was, I think your book is good.

So he's like, all right, cool. Thank you. Yeah, thanks for that. I appreciate it. Let's talk about the amount of information that's in this book. I don't mean to like just toot your horn, Nate, but it's like the amount of information you pack into this book for someone who's ready to receive it. It's like, I don't know, 100, almost 200 pages. I'm not exactly sure.

What is it? I wore in peace or something? Almost 200 pages Fuck This is chewed gum territory Can we just break it into three books please? Because that seems like a lot God damn it

The amount of information I think it's the first book she's ever read I believe that there is too much information in this book However many pages there are You think there's information in this book? Well I mean I believe that these people believe That there is information in the book Right

So this next clip is a long one But you tell me where I should have cut it off Because this woman can't stop proving how stupid she is. It's like a meme in a book, is how I described it to someone, where it's so packed with information. And it's interesting because as you sit here and we talk about it, Merit, notice it's not like this definitive, look what happened with Project Looking Glass. It's like kind of a fictional what if take. And I think it's a really healthy way to examine the ideas that we get in the conspiracy sort of oceans and waters is more

of a what if, how could this play out, like, as a device to move something along and how is this, how could this affect me in my actual life? Like I think, although it's interesting to consider a project looking glass in the manifestations, and I think the most interesting piece of that is learning that if you're very confused and fear-based, maybe your manifestations or the things that you're trying to bring into this world are going to be more interrupted or harder to do or take longer or not happen at all. And I just think there's so much, it's almost like a grimoire,

sort of. I don't know. It's really, really. Oh, my God. I'm really looking forward to reading this. I'm looking forward to understanding your sentence. Does she filibustering? I don't know. I think she doesn't know what she's saying. And no one's stopping her. Right. She can't stop. The momentum

is there behind her. Well, it's a Tom Myers joke. That's exactly what this is. This is, when you have two girls who have no idea how to have a conversation, and they're both equally stupid. They're obviously not going to stop each other. This guy, Nate's not going to stop them because they're promoting his book. They have no hope here.

She was talking about how Project Looking Glass, the book is based on this concept of seeing into the future, but it's a fictional tale. It's not the real looking into the future thing. It's fictional. But it's Patrick's information, but it's also a made-up story. So, I mean, I want to read it. to two now, actually. But I don't know if I'm time for 200 pages.

Did you, I don't know if you pulled the clip. Are there pictures? It's a meme. She goes, as powerful as a meme, that's very rude. I'm sorry, which part? Oh, I was going to say, did you pull the part where he is describing that he thought that Project Looking Glass would make a really bad, a really good bad guy in the book? I didn't pull that clip.

That's an insane sentence. Yeah. What are we talking about? I have no idea. Apparently, it's a really great 200 pages. I don't know. So Meredith then proves that she's also very dumb because Amy's been doing all the talking up until this point. But she's talking about another book, The Celestine Prophecy.

It kind of dissipates, like, even the attempt at control. Like, if you guys read that book while I read Nate's book, it's really good. And I think that it just makes sense that you change your emotion and then your timeline changes. and I kind of wonder like if that's like literal you know no we don't if you have to end your sentence with you know you know what I'm talking about anyone little help she manifested it literally they're they talked about if you're confused you can't manifest things these people can't manifest a podcast they're so confused it's not coming together for them but this is just a funny thing that Meredith says but I kind of feel like Like, this shit is real. Like, I've heard of people completely waking up in different dimensions altogether, you know, and so. Yeah. I kind of feel like this shit's real, because I've heard of like people waking up in, like, other dimensions.

What happened? Can we talk about that? Let's go into that topic. I want to hear about people you know who woke up in other dimensions. Did they come back? Yeah. What's going on? Can I go?

Yeah, I want to go. I think this is the only topic that they never go back to, sadly. Yeah, that was fascinating. I mean, anything could happen. I know people wake up in other dimensions. Were you watching television? Maybe I was watching. Maybe I was dreaming.

Maybe none of that happened, actually. All right, let's get back to central bank digital currency because it's hard to pinpoint with the main topic is of any of this shit, but I believe it's centralized digital currency. And this is the worst question ever. You know, I also, what was I going to say? It was something, oh, I wanted to go back to the piece about CBDCs and just kind of like the whole currency reset idea because I think like I definitely think that's going to

happen and have been kind of seeing that coming since like really 2020 I was like oh that seems like a thing you know that's going to happen but what like when did that make it self known to you Nate and like how did you feel about it before you sort of like transmuted it into a book I love when they try to sound smart yeah when did that become a thing that you thought about, I kind of thought about that thing, too. Never at any point during that run-on sentence did I know where it was going. Right. She didn't either.

Yeah. You can tell if there were long pauses. I kind of think that the stuff you write about's neat and I thought about that neat stuff. When did you start thinking about that neat stuff? So it turns out that Nate is also retarded. Like every dollar in existence is owed back to the Fed with interest, which produces this like artificial scarcity that keeps everybody. scrambling to get that interest from the next person before the

music stops and it's kind of like a game of musical chairs you don't want to be less standing when the market crashes exactly but okay sorry I'm rambling now um no it's good it's really informative I think for maybe you know just yeah for me dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb I mean even nature's like I don't even know what I'm talking about I was I saw you guys doing this I thought I'd start doing it But that was dumb of me. She's like, no, no, no, this is what we do here. You're actually killing it, sir, our best guest yet.

So don't worry about that. What kind of guests do they usually have? People who never ask follow-up questions. Lucy. I've got to research you think I do for the show. I'm a very busy man. Well, actually, episode 32 was pretty interesting when they brought in. I don't fucking know.

I'm just wondering if it's always the conspiracy theory stuff mixed with the science stuff. Well, they're mystics. I hate that word I don't even know what it means I don't either I should have looked it up I usually would at least look up words I don't know

before the show starts but watch every podcast episode no definitely not doing that you said you have pictures of them I was hoping that maybe you learned something else I have learned other things

Meredith does have a YouTube channel excellent so we will get to do that for sure but it sounds like Nate when he was talking about the Federal Reserve and the way that the currency is created and stuff. And it sounds like he watches a lot of YouTube videos to talk about this stuff.

And, like, repeat some of the words in the years and stuff like that. I mean, there's interest that you have to pay back to the Fed. Like, yeah, yeah, yeah. But there's no idea what he's talking about. So they're trying to figure out how are people going to accept this centralized digital currency? Because it sounds kind of scary, right? The government or some central bank would have all the information of every transaction that happens in the world. The hard part is going to be, like, getting people to accept it.

And the only way they're going to do that is, like, they're going to need another sort of essentially like a 9-11. Like, not many people would have signed on to, like, the war in, on terror, the war in Iraq, 9-11 had not happened. So they need like a 9-11 for the currency. A 9-11 for currency. Like, I was picturing like rolled quarters smashing out of the link of a memorial or something. They're like, oh, no, we hate this money.

It just tore down Lincoln. Fuck. What would be at 9-11 for currency? I'm imagining a giant swimming pool full of money, but then it gets busted open and the money is flowing everywhere. No. I know. I know. I'm sorry.

A plane flew into it and then, right, I forgot. Boom. Muslims. What won't they fly it to? They're the worst. All right. You guys want to hear more mayor nonsense? She has no idea what she's saying here.

you say we have to be up to date with our juices right well what else does that entail you know like there's certain things that are in trial right now like neurolink and like you know like there's people who already are like chipped you know and I'm just like looking at all of it and I'm like yeah man I really you know what I mean like I really just want to relax like I really just want to like eat grapes and drink coffee and like you know what I mean I love like just sitting here and talking and shit about, you know, but when that type of thing comes around, like, you know, it's like, okay, now it's, now it's on, you know, now it's really popping because for me, like, I don't think I would, like, be able to take something into my body like that, like I wasn't

able to the first go round, you know, and like just feel very much like, ugh, you know? And it's like, and also there's part of me that's like, you know, kind of occupying mentally the space of like a mean girl and I think Amy helped me with this but like all right I should have transcribed this and we should have just sat here and read it no one of the table read for us that would have been fun one of the most challenging things about this podcast is that I have no idea after listening to them for an hour talk about whatever topics they're talking about I have no idea any of their stances on anything and I don't know if that's because I'm zoning out because their voices are so no they never make a point about anything or it's because they never make points it's crazy I don't think I could get chipped because I didn't get chipped the last time. Like, what are you talking about? What last time? Do you want to get chipped? I don't understand. She doesn't think she can because she just wants to lay around to the couch and do like, you know, it's all very confusing. Let's see. Maybe if we watch her on video, it'll shed some light. Let's go to her channel and watch one of the more recent videos that she's posted here. Hey there. I am Meredith and I'm an intuitive and an astrologer based

out of the mountains of North Carolina. And today I'm going to talk. I'm surprised you didn't mentioned which natives lived there before her. A little bit about a couple of things. You know, the moon is headed in a very interesting trajectory leading up to the eclipse that is on Saturday. So I just wanted to talk about that. And then

yeah, I'm sorry I haven't been posting on YouTube that much. It's okay. Everyone's real upset about it. I love these people who get 12 views on their videos. Like, I'm really sorry. I guess I've been really busy. But I'm back. I have been in massage school.

That's been keeping me really busy. So if you would like to receive regular weekly astrology updates. I was like, oh, my God, she's offering her 12 viewers, free massages. Everybody can go watch. This actually has 181 views, 805 subscribers. It's got to be the wood paneling. Wood paneling is key for any type of YouTube channel, I would say. let's get back to the podcast so one of the things they talk about here is that you know

I don't know if you guys know this but you're assigned a name when you're born and it's put on your birth certificate but that's not you man that's not real it's not your soul okay it's kind of fucked up they have to go by these fake names all of our lives on this paper with my fake name you know what I mean if you want to get like real about it like you know what I'm want to get like really like free man about it but it's like, it's like your straw man name signing some fake paper. You know what I'm saying? It's like, at the end of the day, you can break it down into like, it's all, it's so ridiculous.

Like, what do you actually know? You know what I mean? As far as your soul is concerned and like signing over all this stuff and them having control. It's just like it's such a grand illusion. Like it's the grandest illusion of all because like everyone dies. Why does it go there? She always starts with a germ of an idea. doesn't finish that one,

but brings in five more ideas. Yeah, it's like if Gino Bisconti we're an astrologer. Yes. Are we're going to finish somewhere? Nope, we're just going to keep going

in random directions. Got it. But what's great is that Mary has been working with Amy long enough that she's able to piggyback off of this concept. I wouldn't just let that one

die on the vines. But no, she'd piggybacks out of it. That's so true. If your straw man was, like, tattooed onto your DNA, that's what, like,

you know what I mean? Like, you know what I mean? No, your straw man tattooed onto your DNA. First up, they're using the word straw man incorrectly here. I don't even know what they think it means. But I think they're saying

that they're given name isn't really who you are. But maybe like someone could graffiti it or etch it into your DNA or something. Maybe there's a pill for that. Then it becomes you. Then it becomes you, right. Well, she lost me because it wasn't two paragraphs of nonsense.

Okay, fair enough. This is really funny. One of these women live in California, maybe both of them do. And they're talking about how, you know, there's all those corporations, man. You know, that's always bad. But there's some good things happening out in Cali. But I have noticed a real emergence, at least in California, of just like small businesses popping up on the side of the road that would normally, I think, like, years ago

not even be an afterthought for someone because it would be so regulated. But I'm noticing lots of things that would normally be regulated that are not regulated happening. And it's not all bad, you know? It's kind of like pro people, which is pretty rad. Is she talking about Mexicans selling oranges? I was going to ask if she was talking about street beggars. Well, there's that, too. Or maybe, I guess this is more in New York where they like wash your windshield.

Yeah. Where you're stopping a light or something. But what she's describing is not a good thing. No. Isn't it great? People are just having businesses on the side of the road? Uh, no. No, it's great.

It's not regulated. it should be there's something food to people that should definitely be regulated don't eat that taco ma'am i just let me just warn you on that one but she thinks it's great he's very excited about it now the book is about the dark night of the soul and so let's get nat back in here in the mix so i mean the book's kind of about that too like the the current series that is not even the heart of it really the book is about like my dark night of the soul soul that I kind of went through. Maybe it's a Saturn return.

I was like 30 years old, so it feels a little bit late. Is it possible to have a Saturn return when you're 30? I'll ask Lucy. Is it possible to have your Saturn return when you're 30? This guy's a Leo? God. You're not answering the question. I don't understand the question.

Producer Chris, is it possible have your Saturn return by that type of 30? Short answer, yes. It actually, yes. I look this out because I don't know what the fuck that meant. But apparently when you're born, wherever Saturn is located, that happens every 29. seven years, so, or so, because it fluctuates because a lot of things are moving around. Oh, I'll allow this. So you could definitely be 30 when your Saturday return occurs, but you're supposed to

happen that when your Saturday return happens, that's when you become your adult self. This is the research that you did for this? I know. What the hell is wrong with you? What in the hell? I wanted to know. You probably should have researched this. You guys weren't curious about your standard return.

I just like that Meredith says this. Yeah, I think that it depends. on you. It depends on your chart. And, yeah, that's possible. Yes. It depends how gullible you are. But what's funny that she says she's an astrologer or an astronomer or whatever the fuck she says she said.

And she's like, yeah, it depends on your charts. Good stuff, Meredith. Well, as I was researching these ladies, because I was trying to find if they had any video podcasts, I did find a preview for another podcast that Meredith is going to be involved in. And this one peaked my

interest. Now, this video I'm going to play for you. I have not edited it. This is exactly how the video appears on Meredith's YouTube page. All right? Trust me. I would not do this. I mean, wouldn't you think it would be more useful to like make a garden of your own? And then you have like respectfully like more to fight for, more to live for, more to like, you know, cast your gaze on that is not like, you know, the CBDCs and the. this and that and right and so um i totally agree with you and i also i feel that you know at the same time so there's i have like the angel devil on my shoulder always right of like at the same time it seems like there's some measure of like inevitability to like what like the comforts that

like we have become so accustomed to like you know at some level if we were in like a natural maybe like a bit more like organic universe that endless expansion i feel like it is actually possible. Like I think that it's a farce or a fallacy that we can't like endlessly grow and expand. I think that that's what I've been doing my whole life and that we're like wired to do. Maybe sometimes we have to like accept limitation

and constriction in order to do that. But, you know, I don't, people say like, oh, it just can't grow endlessly forever. And I think that that's actually like a program or like a script, you know. And I think a lot of this, I do believe a lot of this can't be averted necessarily. but I do feel like we have a lot of, like, choice in the way that it goes, you know?

And so, um, especially with the leaps that people are making, the I'm making. I mean, like a couple of days ago, I went to, um, visit my friend at work, uh, locally. And she works at a rock shop and she dropped on the side of the street on her foot, you know, and she was the most important part of this video. I apologize. I was going to let it just go. but listen to what business her friend works at. Yeah, what happened.

It's that people are making, the I'm making. I mean, like a couple of days ago, I went to visit my friend at work locally, and she works at a rock shop, and she dropped this big-ass rock on her foot, you know? What's a rock shop? It's crystals. Is it?

Yeah, that's got to be what it is. But she dropped a big-ass one on her foot. I think they make big-ass crystals. Carl. You need one for Saturn moon, whatever the fuck. I need one because I'm having really bad luck lately and I think it's that stupid medallion from

Chris Chan. That's ruining my life. I need somebody to counteract that. All right. We're out of the case. Holy shit. She was like, she was like, Meredith, can you put your hands on this, right? And so I did and it should have been injured, but she walked away completely fine. And so I'm wondering

like, you know, I'm like, you know, I'm like, we're pretty amazing, you know? Even if you think about people's recovery from like, you know, the spike protein surprise, because it seems to be just like whatever it's going to be for you is what it is, you know? And so I think that even our willingness to like kind of keep it pressing, like through these conditions that I don't think people realize really are like truly sociopathic and like truly like, um, like it's our souls that are very much like keeping our bodies like working. You know, as far as I'm concerned. So I have a lot of trust in that, like a lot, a lot.

I appreciate that. I love that. It's above right. Holy shit. That was the promotion for a show called. Love that. It's above. Cuts our fake news and other astrological shams with Meredith Swain.

I. There's this other woman who pops up at the very end. Why wouldn't she edit the video like that? It starts mid-sentence. She doesn't even know what she starts. sentences. It's hard to tell. It never starts her ends like infinity.

And when she gets lost, she throws in the word soul just to bring it all back home. I'm still just imagining her walking around and hitting people in the head with rocks in the hopes that it will heal them. Yes. That is how you heal people. Yeah. Oh, good. So I was looking at this podcast, Word Up with Danny Katz and super very wonderful friends.

Because she seems like a lunatic too. so maybe we'll get into some of more of these characters here but this was a preview for Meredith and Danny something that I could not find existing anywhere on the internet I was disappointed one day yeah I know I was like oh sweet let's start making fun of this podcast there's nothing there damn it damn it Meredith and it's gone

you got me again Meredith so any other takeaways from that show you guys had to actually sit through any of that Nope. It was excruciating. Well, in that case, I think it's time for our... The cringe of the week. The cringe of the week, this week comes in from an anonymous source.

He doesn't want me to say who it's from, because it probably works at the same company as this person that were going to be featured at Cridge of the Week. It's a guy named Ryan Smelzer. Ryan Smelzer is a radio host. He has a show that's on in Maryland, Pennsylvania, Louisville, Kentucky, Fredericksburg, Virginia and Portland, Oregon. So it's syndicated. He must be pretty popular.

It must be pretty good at his job to have a syndicated radio show. And since it is Christmas time, let's get some Christmas spirit going here. Vanilla Ice has a Christmas mix of Ice Ice Baby. Every Christmas, vanilla ice. So far, this is just the original lyrics to Ice Baby with sleigh bells over top. I am going to prove to vanilla ice that you can do exactly what I think he could have done, which is creates a Christmas ice ice baby. I'm going to prove to vanilla ice that he could have done what I think he could have done.

Wait, how did he say that? Hold on. It was stupid. I hear that. Do exactly what I think he could have done. I'm going to do what I think he could have done. Yeah. All right. Well, the premise sucks. Let's see how the execution is. Didn't he already do it?

No, he didn't change the lyrics. And this guy's going to change the lyrics. Oh, oh, okay, understood. Yeah. It's going to be great. I can imagine. Which is creates a Christmas ice ice baby. Yo, snow's falling. Stop. Grab a hot cocoa. Oh, no. Snowflakes drops and the rooftops. Listen, cookies in the oven. Yeah, Santa's on a mission. Slave bells ringing. The night's, So Mary, elves in the shop hustling like the legendary. Rolling through the North Pole scene. Red suit shine with a peppermine glean.

Rain deer lined up, ready for the flight. Check that list twice. Gotta get her right. Ice on the walkway. Careful don't slip. Mrs. Claus baking with that sugar dust to drip. Neighbors Carolyn up and down the lane. Candy cane swinging like a holiday chain.

Rock that bow, make it look nice. Spread that joy like snow on ice. Crank those tunes, let the season shine. It's Christmas time, baby. Feel that pine. Vanilla, you could have done that in like 20 minutes, my dude. But instead you just threw sleigh bells on Ice Ice Baby. What an asshole.

Yeah. Imagine Vito Ice being like, oh, yeah, that's what I should have done. My bad, Ryan. That was actually cringy. That was cringe of the week. Jody B was saying, make it stop. Sorry, Jody B. That's not how cringe of the week works.

You got to watch it all. All right. A couple people are celebrating anniversaries, Joseph Collins. Remember for three months says, I'm on vacation from work so I can watch WAPE live. Oh, hi, Lucy. Hi. Can we get a chat that doesn't mention Lucy? This isn't T.S. Atenma.

That's how we do over here. Oh, there we go. There you go. Sasha Baron Corbyn says, producer Chris Rules. Thank you, O.J. Thank you, O.J. Thank you, OJ. All right.

So, Lucy is here for a very important reason with us today because, is Megan Markle. She just put out a holiday special. It's called With Love Megan Holiday Celebration. This is on Netflix. It came out on December 3rd. And I'm sure everyone's already watched it. But in case you haven't, I asked Lucy to go ahead and pull some clips and show us

some highlights of what Megan Markle's up to. Now, I don't know if you know about this, but we've talked about this show she has on Netflix where it was broken up into two seasons. They recorded one season, and then tried to make it seem like, oh, we're going to season two. We got renewed. So they just played half of the first season and called the second half of season two. And nobody figured it out. And no one figured that out.

Well, listen to this. I don't know if you picked up on this or not. But I was reading in Yahoo News. It says, this isn't a new special. It's leftover footage dressed up in a ribbon. An insider told Rob Shooter, noted that the dead giveaway is the on-screen presence of the suit star's beloved Beagle guy who passed away in January. of 2025. Yeah, we have an entire little clip about that.

Okay, excellent. Very good. We're going to get into all the details of why that was wrong. There are other little continuity errors that are happening throughout this thing. It is artificial. It is staged in every single way. But they're making it seem like this is a brand new specialty put out, but it was all recorded a year ago.

At least. And also, the speculation is that Netflix has done with these people. They've thrown way too much money at them. It was like a $100 million deal, and nobody watches these shows that Megan produces. It's all garbage. So where do we begin? We are going to begin with a very special Christmas activity that lots and lots of families do together every year shortly after Thanksgiving, which of course is tree shopping. So Megan, of course, she's got to go tree shopping, but alone, not with her family.

I see, I like this. That's a beautiful tree. I think that's too tall for you. go it's not bad it's sold yes it's already been taken well there's a tree for everyone this is true take one last look over this way to see if there's oh this one's kind of pretty it has a great shape so i think this is the one it's a great tree okay so you had to take out the music yes i appreciate you doing that for us yes because that uh that makes it a little bit more annoying yeah there's a little bit more holiday cheer in the actual thing with the music i actually kind of like it without

It just shows how boring this. What about that tree? Yep, that's a tree. It's really awful. Do you need someone to go tree shopping with you? Do you need a salesperson there to show you the trees? This is Ruth. She loves Ruth.

Ruth is the best ever at helping pick a tree, which I don't understand at all. Why are her children and her real family not there? Why are they absent? I cannot. It seems so inauthentic to have a holiday special that you're starting out with doing one of the primo family activities alone. Because the camera crew took up the entire car. That's the reason they're like, hey mom, can we go?

No, no, no. We got to bring too much equipment to do this shoot. It's crazy to me. Absolutely crazy to me. Megan and Harry have disowned their families. Both of them have. Yep. Very publicly.

Like going on Oprah and saying like, my whole family sucks. They're all racist assholes. That's a crazy thing to do. And they put out a holiday special to be like, isn't family great? Uh-huh? And to start it alone? Getting a tree? With no family.

This is really funny. No family. She is going to have a lot of guests join her, though. And we are going to have decor and crafts and cooking and other things that you would usually do with your family around the holidays. So the first guest that we're going to be checking out is Will, and he is a restaurateur. Okay. And she wants to impress him by having a dish ready for him when he arrives, even though they're also going to be cooking together. He wrote this book that I felt was so inspiring called Unreasonable Hospitality.

And I thought, well, he's coming. we have to be unreasonable in our hospitality. So I did a little sneaky squirrel work. And I spoke to his wife, Christina Tosi, who we've had on the show, and found out that he loves Caccio Pepe. I'm not going to greet him with a bowl of Cachio Pepe. That's a bit much. But what if we did some Gujarers, gorgeous little puffed delight,

but with a Caccio Pepe flavor. So that's what we're going to prep for him. And then I'm going to pick his brain a little bit and say, how do you translate these fine dining principles of hospitality and exceeding expectations and bring them into your home. Oh, shit. I mean, I like that it's practical. I like that it's something that anyone watch you and be like,

oh, these are good ideas. I could do this. I could totally do that. Yeah, I've tons of time at my hand. Why do I do something like this when people come over? Wait, but when we're going to cook together, why are you making a pre? Whatever.

What I... Because she needs more screen time. She does. She does. She does. She really does. She really does. What I don't understand about this is,

I think that the audience for a holiday special that is about decor, tips, crafting, cooking. I think that the normal audience for that is like a 50-year-old white woman who is totally uncultured. She never, ever explains what Kachio Pepe is. Yeah. I would have to Google that one. Yeah. Cheese and pepper.

It's a pasta dish. Okay. But that is insane. You're not giving me any actual useful help. Why are you contrasting this luxury lifestyle presentation with what's supposed to be holiday cheer? It's classic Megan. She's flexing but wants to be down to earth.

Right. There is no audience. There is no way for an audience to connect with that sort of a segment. It's too bad you can't comment underneath Netflix videos. I know. I would have liked to see it. I mean, it's got to be all hate watchers on this thing. Yeah, I would have really liked to see it.

Well, you know, we talk a lot about her relatability. And I bet you were afraid that she wasn't going to be relatable at all. But luckily, she does have a couple of puns. for us. Give this a little simmer. I'm just going to start to add her flower. This feels like fondue.

You've never heard anyone say fond don't. Did you hear the crew member laugh, though? It was the better fucking laugh. You're going to lose your job. It was the Tom Myers laugh. Yeah. Pause for laughter. Pause for laughter.

It's going to be so good. It's like being in James Brown's band. You're like, Don't fuck up around this guy. Jesus Christ. So that's frustrating to watch because she gives the little wink and side eye to be like, ain't I a stinker? Yeah. And she sucks.

She's so bad. The next hilarious joke, though, is this one, the production crew member actually jumps in to give her a tag for it because she needs help. And it's only going to get funnier. It's going to get so much funnier. Little egg wash on all of them. Tab the guzier. What all the kids are saying this season? Dab that guzier.

Oh, no, she dab that guzier. Dabbed it good. Holy shit. Yeah, that was four dab that gouged that gougier. The producer was like, all right, I'm sorry I said anything. Yeah. I didn't be free to keep going with that. Well, she thought that she was getting positive reinforcement.

She had to keep going. It was wonderful. It's surprising how poorly produced this is, too. Because she's, it has nothing to say. She's just doing this stupid thing that she's been told to do. It's not like she does this on her own, ever. Where's Harry? He will show up.

I will tell you that he is going to show up. Why is she at her house by herself? She's not even her house. I was going to ask. It's not her house. This is a set. It's a set. This is, yeah, she would never live in a crap hole like this.

It's true. One of her tropes, every time that we've looked at Megan, she has all of these different tropes. She talks about her childhood. She worked at. Humphrey Yogart. Oh, yeah. You know, she always has these sound bites.

My kids say zebra, all of these things. And she's constantly bringing up her childhood. So in our next clip, she is going to be making reindeer chow, which is just kind of like a little snack mix. And we're going to get a dose of childhood, Megan. My elementary school math teacher, Miss Linda, she loved this. And I felt so excited that she loved something that I made. Oh, my gosh. Two cups of powdered sugar.

Wow. That is a lot of sugar. Holy. It looks so innocent when it's done. So she's been making this since elementary school, and yet she's still shocked by how much sugar is in it. Two cups. Wow. I love that she has to pretend she remembers the name of this woman who liked it.

Isn't her dad in the hospital right now, like in really bad? In very bad shape. Very, very bad shape. How's she doing it with that? Is Megan, okay? She seems great. Yeah, I mean, she's so concerned about it. her childhood and everything.

Never brings up her dad or... It's a little weird, one might say. It's as if family doesn't really mean anything to her. No, but teachers do. Elementary math teachers. She talks about her high school teachers all the time. All of this. It's absolutely insane.

She's trying to be relatable again. I know. And I swear to God, how many times, Chris, we've known each other for a long time, how many times have you and I ever talked about teachers we had in school? Zero. Correct. It's a relatable thing. Maybe women do it.

Do women do it, Lucy? No what? You know, sit around. talk about miss bumble fuck when i was in different i remember miss bumble fuck all the guys you have a bit of your side but whatever well in addition to trying to be relatable she is constantly trying to be perfect and in this next clip it's going to just be her and her guest will talking about not worrying about perfection when the entire theme of this holiday special is perfection and catchy o pepe apparently

When I think about the great dinner parties I've been to over the years, I don't remember what I ate. I just remember whether or not I left with my heart feeling full. Yeah. Yeah. It's tremendous. I mean, the holidays, I think, are the best example when people lean in so hard to that as opposed to remembering you can do that practice every single day in some small way. I think it's so fussed about everything being perfect that you lose the magic that even happens in the mistakes. Yeah. The perfect imperfection that comes from human connection. yes But first off

Those two things Didn't connect No No Like all of a sudden It turns into Imperfection But that's not

He wasn't saying The food is lousy No You know what I remember I remember my mom I forgot to try the oven For Thanksgiving And we got to the house

And there was an uncooked bird In a cold oven That's what did you remember That's someone fuck it up That's a fun Imperfection right there I can't deal with There were two times in that clip

Where she gets so proud Of the platitudes of baloney that these two people are feeding to each other. Right. And just when she gets so excited, she's like, oh, I'm doing it. This is going to be the best holiday special that's ever existed. Imagine being an expert on hosting dinner parties. Don't forget.

She's also an expert gift wrapper, and we will get to see that also. Right. But I think that's what this guy is, though, right? Didn't you write a book about hosting dinner parties or something like that? Yeah. Like, just be an interesting person. No. She can't.

Right. But that's what it comes out to. He was actually saying some of them that had some heart to it. Sure. Oh, yeah. I totally get that. But she didn't. She will never.

Okay. She never will. All right, her and Will are going to move from cooking into crafting. So they stop their cooking. They start crafting. But they are going to get interrupted by the director of the show before they can actually start the craft. Any kind of wrapping paper. There's a couple of each of these different designs.

And so I think as you think about the person you want to have enjoying it, what they would like. Before we start, we're having workspace, and then take one last flight and then just move it to the behind you. Oh, that's our director. The Brooklyn Bummer strikes again. Very much. How conveniently place. Right there, indeed. Placing the Gujarers closer to the crew.

There's a lot to unpack in this one. Well, what I liked was the imperfection of it. Yeah. That's what filled my heart. It was really great. Way to leave that part in. You're such a real person. Megas always trying to prove she's a real person.

Look at me. I'm eating a snack right now. Oh, I put the thing in the wrong place. Look at me. This is... Would someone wipe my hands, please? She spits into a bucket. He spits out the floors.

I'm going to do that shit. Cuts. Her leaving this clip in, because she is the executive producer for the show, it's completely crazy to me because she is calling her director, the Brooklyn Bummer. Oh, they're cute. They poke at each other. Oh, they do because I don't mean to harp on her past. But as I recall, there have been literal headlines about her treatment of employees,

which have said things like, She drove her staff to tears. Yep. Maybe not a great thing to put in there. Miss Difficult the Duchess is another one, I believe she's a raging cunt. Yeah, she's a raging cunt. In addition to that, though, you also might have noticed that when we pull back and get to see the camera crew that they are wearing Christmas sweaters and tinsel necklaces with holiday lights. And no guy wants to dress like that.

No, she made them do that. And not only that, you have to imagine that this was filmed in June. So, like, these poor guys are like, I just want to go. and can't, do I really have to wear the damn sweater? Yeah, right. That's insane. Can't I just do my job? I'm behind the camera.

I have to dress like this. Yeah, we're going to do a fun thing where I'm talking to the director and he tells me I'm going to do it. Fun. All of this is staged. It's so insane. It's completely insane. She's going to get a little bit wacky, though. Before we start this clip, though, I want to go back to what you were talking about, which is Megan's dog.

So when we start out this clip, we are going to see a shot of Megan's dog, a live. and well. However, we know that the dog died in January of 2025. So this was filmed before that. In addition to that, the initial first season of Love Megan aired in March of 2025, and it ended with a dedication to her dog. Okay. In addition to that-

Everyone watches this window, this. Yeah. In addition to that, yeah, anybody who's paying attention to the shows, they're huge audiences. In addition to that, though, at the very beginning of this special, she's definitely, decorating that beautiful Christmas tree that she bought, and she hangs a memorial ornament on the tree in dedication to her dog. So the continuity of this crap is just, it's completely insane. So we're just going to see the dog for a second. I wanted everybody to actually be able to see that.

But again, she's going to get wacky here. She's wearing pajamas. Well, she's wearing pajamas today, gang. This is how much I love my friend. Why am I wearing pajamas on a television show? Because my dear friend, Lindsay, we've been. Because no one's going to watch it. So it doesn't fucking matter.

Also, you bought $10,000 pair of pajamas. Like, it's not her pajamas. Does she sleeping in every night? Dog is like, someone kill me. My dear friend, Lindsay, we've been, for instance, we're 17 years old. Lens has a tradition with her fan. Yeah. Hold on.

Let's look at this. Let's look at Lindsay for a second. Let's look at me pulling next to a fat friend. See? Are they a great person? You don't talk to Lindsay. Well, Lindsay is one of her only friends that she has not completely trounced and has not completely trounced and has not completely trounced her.

They have been friends for a very long time. I looked up Lindsay because I was a little bit curious. So she wrote a novel and self-help book called What Pretty Girls Are Made of? Oh. I think that the answer is catchy. Money. Yeah. She also dedicated that book to Megan.

Wow. What a trooper. With her family of always wearing matching pajamas for the holidays. So for the love of Lynn's, they forced me to wear pajamas for this brunch to honor her tradition. Wait, did she say, they forced me? Yes, what I heard. Yep. Hey, do I do this really fun thing, and they forced me to.

They forced me to do it in the same way I made those crew members wear their holiday sweaters. Yeah, that's a weird word to use on that one. It's a really weird word to use for a woman who loves you so much that she dedicated her book to you. Yeah. All right. Yeah, very peculiar. The next clip that we're going to be looking at is shocking, I would say, mostly because Megan does not harken back to the fact. that she once taught advanced gift wrapping during an entire gift wrapping segment.

Not a single time does she talk about that. I know. That's one of her normal. I've heard that story 50 times. Huh. One technique that's really fun is just the different way in which you're folding the paper. If you fold it outwardly instead of inwardly, it creates a different fold there. Nice and sealed.

First side folded down. And then that second piece will fold on top. You guys having fun. Fold on the front for a beautiful deck. rid of touch. And then the other side will also fold on top. It's a little bit more unexpected. Wow. I take it all back. This actually is quality programming. Advanced gift wrapping. This is important stuff that we all need to know about.

I fucked out of 101. I know. I didn't want to bring it up. I don't want to embarrass you on the show. But yeah, producer Chris sucks at this. It was so fun and unexpected. You know what sucks too is that you know she has to tell you how she wrapped it, which he gives it to you. Like, cool. Oh, yeah. So should I not open it? Yeah, I'll just leave it up here as a decoration of that. I didn't pull this clip, but at one point, she says,

and now sometimes people ask me how I might wrap a bottle of wine. And for that, I say, you should use this Japanese gift wrapping technique. And then she says the Japanese word, which I won't even try to say right now. And then she takes a scarf. Yeah, exactly. That was it. She takes a scarf, and then she, like, folds up the corners of the scarf to the top of the wine bottle. And I was like, anybody that she is handing that bottle of wine to, she goes, this is my Japanese gift wrapping technique.

Do you like it? She's insane. All right. She's insane. Okay. The next segment is going to be the most awkward segment of the show. This is going to be a segment with Naomi Osaka, who is a tennis player. And Megan is going to ask her her favorite thing about the holidays.

And Naomi. Is it my gift wrapping? Naomi. Naomi's going to unintentionally burn Megan with her answer. Oh, good. What's your favorite thing about the holiday? Honestly, I think family. I travel so much so I don't get to see my family as often.

But I feel like the holidays is a time where you can focus on family. And for me, just take a break and kind of enjoy life. I had a feeling that'd be her answer. Yeah. What's your favorite part? Making a TV show by myself? Traveling away from my family as fast as possible. Yeah.

That's funny. Actually, could I get out of here now? To be with my family, please? I would love to do that. Well, Megan is very nicely setting up a craft for her and Naomi to do. Why are these two people friends? They're not. She's a professional tennis player?

Yeah. This whole segment is just Naomi doing these little... Megan Markle used to open up the suitcases. Yeah. What's a show come? Let's make a deal. I was going to say, let's make a deal. I always fucking do that.

That's not it, though. Anyway. She, they're definitely not friends. Naomi does this little giggle thing that she's clearly doing because she's uncomfortable, answers questions very sparsely. But again, they're going to do a craft together where they are decorating plates for their children as opposed to doing this craft with their children, which would make more sense. Okay.

I think that looks good. Am I crazy? You're not crazy this much I know, but you are very kind. My plate looks like it's covered with bats. Please don't look over here. I think it's important to always try things that we're not so great at, which I should remind myself when I try to draw or get on a tennis court. Or be relatable. Yeah.

Or be interesting or entertaining in any way. They're literally just drawing on plates? They're drawing on plates. This is a show? Yes. They're adults, right? Yes. Mine says, fuck you, Megan.

Mine says, can I go now? Am I dismissed? Megan complains the entire time also about how much she sucks at drawing. This is very much an imperfection of hers. But she is... That's like what John does. I admit that I am not perfect. That's the, you know, I'm not a narcissist.

Yeah. This is Megan, like, proving. See, I'm not a narcissist. I don't think I draw real good. Yeah. I'm not doing a great job with this. That proves it. She is substantially worse, though, at not bringing up her childhood any chance that

she gets. So she will do that again. I am so painful. Holy bad. Now I need to see this because the way that you... It can't be like the worst I've ever seen. I believe it would be. So my mom found a bold report card of mine. And on the report card in the physical education part, ability to throw or catch a ball. Not applicable. It couldn't even give me a grade. What could I be failing? I'm smart and a teacher's pet.

Jim? That's the stupidest thing I ever heard. That was a made-up anecdote. Yeah. Good poll. But, yeah, I don't see the teacher saying not applicable for being able to throw or catch a ball. That's not out of report card. Maybe they just weren't playing baseball that report card season. Is that a thing you have to be able to do is throw and catch a ball in order to get through school?

No, it's completely insane. It's made up. Now, again, she is the executive producer of this show. So you might notice that she is bitching about how much she cannot draw on this plate. We never get to see her plate suspiciously. What? But I can guarantee you that Naomi's plate is worse. Should I cancel Netflix?

Yeah, I know. I think I might have to cancel Netflix. I'm like, I never saw Megan's plate. What the fuck? A bunch of malarkey. A bunch of malarkey. So let's look at Naomi's plate because Megan is claiming that her plate is worse than this. There's like a little smeared handprint. I think that there's some flowers.

You know what it looks like? It looks like the thing that the artist has to mix the colors with. Yeah, a palette. A palette. Yeah, it just looks like the palette. Yeah, it's beautiful. But that's not the art. Well, mine is. She's going to give that to her child for Christmas. I know. You were so excited to open your present, right? It better be gift wrapped well. We meet it through all of the awkward giggles of Naomi and now Megan is, going to prepare for her next guest by making a cocktail and again reminding us of her childhood. She just has friends come over this. She actually doesn't really know in real life, but this is a holiday special?

Yes. The Star Wars holiday special is better than best. It is so depressing. Let's put our three ingredients in there. What's the ratio? 2.13, which was my first area code. Oh, God. Two ounces of gin.

Oh, cares. It's so self-indulgent. It really is. Can you believe that? It's so silly. It's so set up, too. It's like supposed to be conversational. Yeah.

But it's all scripted. Can you imagine that my first area code was 213? And now years later, I'm making a drink with the ratios to one three. Yep. I can believe that. Seems possible. Crazy times. You also could have been 321.

Yeah. Yeah. There's other combinations. Yeah. I won't get it to all of them right now. Yeah. Now I did promise. we don't type for all of them

I did promise that Prince Harry would show up so he shows up in the last I would say five minutes of this holiday special he quote comes home into their fake house that they're clearly renting

oh what a day he's in his pajamas what does he do for work people do so he does finally we get introduced to him she's oh I'm sorry she's making gumbo

before. So this is, they've moved on to making gumbo. Is it a holiday gumbo? Yeah. She has, she has gumbo every Christmas Eve. Great. Yes. I can feel it, punching through the top of my head right now. When food makes you sweat, that's good. It's a good thing. Yeah. It is delicious. I'm also sure it's as good as your mom's, but it's certainly close. Wow.

What? Whoa. Oh my gosh. Now that's a real couple. I, there. I waited through one hour of this holiday special to hear a husband and wife banter about gumbo. Good stuff. I don't know if it's good as your mom's got. But whoa, we're fighting.

That would be a really real relationship, though, it seems like. Yeah. Doesn't come across a stage or anything like that. It's as real as the house, I would say. Yeah. All right. We're going to close out the special, thank goodness, with Megan just being so super adorable. Come on, thanks.

Thank you for coming. Oh, my gosh. What a treat. I really appreciate it. This was a lot of fun. Oh, it just got cayenne in my eye or I'm just winking at you. It's all good. Thank you for coming.

Thank you for coming. She says to her husband? Hey, thanks for being here. Remember it's our house? Yeah. We're supposed to think we live here together. Remember that? All that made me want to do is get a whole bunch of cayenne to dump in her eyeballs.

She's exhausting. She truly is. inauthentic, completely just a waste of everything. But she didn't bring up advanced gift wrapping, so maybe she's maturing. Maybe somebody, maybe they edited it out. Maybe she's like, I brought this up a bunch of times already.

Let's cut that part out of it. I don't know. I don't want to come off like a cunt. Yeah. All right. You know what would be a really funny thing for her to do? It's just to read the comments underneath these videos. If she would sit there and do that,

Like, you know, Jimmy Kimmel had the celebrities reading the mean tweets about them. Great concept. Great bet. The people that you want to do that will never do it. Oh, it would come off like the AT&T girl, a Milana, whatever, crying while she's reading it. Oh, remember that? Her Bobby Milkers. People are so mean.

Well, Megan, you might even remember that she said that she turned off comments because she was so sensitive about them. We know that she would never be able to do that. Yeah. All right. Well, thank you, Lucy. Listen, you're going to get a little extra something in your stocking this year for all the Megan Markle I've made you watch for WATP in 2025. I'm hoping no more Megan in 2026.

Wow. There will probably be more Megan. It's probably going to be more Megan. We can't get rid of her. She can't help herself. She came to this country and it's taken over for some reason. Came to this country. I guess she's from here.

All right. You know what else we can't stop? up. Senator John has some stand-up shows coming up. Very exciting. He's going to Ohio. He's going to Indiana. And in order to promote his stand-up shows, he goes on and does radio interviews.

And so he's on an interview with Hammer and Nigel. This was on December 3rd on WIBC 93.1. Indies, mobile news. And I love the interviews. You know, normally they're kind of schlocky and whatever. But the host knows about the Davilverse. So this actually gets pretty exciting right here. Let me ask you, because I know you mix it up on Twitter and an X. And I want to know more about this world. you live in where you're in constant conflict and arguments with all these different personalities and podcasters and comedians and the Kevin Brennan's and the Shulis and the Chad Zumachs. And it's just kind of, I'm addicted to it, man.

At first I thought he just like did some Google searches about John and just like stumbled across the dabble verse. Oh, I see you do a podcast. But he threw out Chad Zubbite and Shulis. He's a lot of. That is a deep dive. He's like, I'm addicted to it. man let's see how jac because john's not ready for that he thinks he's outside of the dabalvers

when he goes on these things yes and you can tell yeah he fuses all of his muscles the jelina muscle the howard sturt muscle all right those two muscles and uh unfortunately it's to talk dabelvers now chad zoomox it's just kind i i'm addicted to it man i can't i mean i've heard all the clips i'm on youtube all the time how do you see how do you keep your blood pressure down and and and Well, but you must know me as the Duke. That's right. And, Ann, is there, is there real animosity between all these people that you're having feuds with, or is there a little bit of showmanship to it?

Because, man, it's, it's, my wife calls, she can't just be listening to you guys argue. She calls it like a, like a reality show for dudes. Tell me more about that world you live in. Yeah, it's a, it's a bizarre world. I don't really, I didn't ask to be in it, but apparently I'm the son that all these shows kind of revolve around and they all make money off of me. I, if you ask me, what's on John's mind 24-7? This was why that was such a great question from Judy. She's like, Vince is probably 100,000, but not millions of dollars being made on you.

That's always in his head now. The money that's being made, that's why the go-fund me pisses him off to no end. he hates seeing other people getting money. Real, yeah, I can't stand every single one of them. I, you know, I mean, to say I hate would be a mild comment. Let's say I load, I load every single one of them, and it is real. And, you know, I mean, it is bizarre. They send people to my shows to tape me without me knowing.

It's really, I had a guy who showed. I showed up at a show in Ohio, and he's wearing a suit, and he's got a black flower on his lapel. And I asked him what it's for, and he said it means he stands for your crane. And I ended up sitting down with him and his wife and having a few beers, like I always do. The guy had a microphone hit it in the flower. Oh, come on. So he was trying to. Yeah, so it gets crazy.

I mean, again, I'm not like, I didn't ask to be part of it, but, you know, if you know, from Stern. I'm certainly not one to back down from a fight. No, I sue everyone. She told me from Stern. I like to sue people and make fun of me. I just thought that was really funny that this guy is just like, hey, so what's going out with the dabblevers? Is that any of that real? It's like, oh, yeah, yeah. I really hate these people. It really is a huge problem for me. And so the next day, John's on his show and he's reflecting on this. This comes in from Barnes and Noobes on Reddit. That was a

Doom clip, by the way. Thanks, thanks Doom for us. We'll get back to it in just a minute. But this is John reflecting on getting asked that question. And that's the thing I got, I did a... Oh, this is later that night. He's wasted. It did a radio show. I did a radio show. So he did Ray Show?

Hold on. I don't know. He backed that up. Let's see. And that's the thing, I got, I did a, did a radio show. Well, I did a couple in, in Indianapolis today. And one guy was actually, you know, intrigued, with the double verse

and he was like he's like you know I it's like a reality show for dudes and I'm like

he's like do you is this real and I'm like for me yeah it's all real I said I hate all these people

and then Kevin Brennan and shitware and I'm like I I loathe them. And I do.

I do not ever want to hang out these people. They're not normal in my estimation. He's such a lonely, drunk loser that he's like, I don't even want to hang out with them. I don't even need friends. Friends are stupid. Oh, I was listening to this. And he goes on and on. and what was missing at the time was this music bed.

Yes. So thanks for Bards and News for putting this side. This is great. And he just said, it was fun. Just like Saul, what, I don't know.

Does baby Fatsal believe that this is some kind of WWE thing? Turn off your notification value, you know, I don't believe it's WWA. And to me,

It's all real. It's still real to me, damn it. But no, it's real to me. All this is real. It's not fake. Fucking hell. Like, why do people think this is fake? Because it's ridiculous.

Because all this is ridiculous. The way you react to this is crazy. That's why people think it must be fake. It couldn't be written. Yeah. It's not. not. It'll never be fake to me. This is real to me. It's still real to be, damn it!

I just hope it goes away. I don't want any part of this nonsense. Then why did you see West John? It's just going to track out for quite some time, you idiot. I wanted to go away. Every year. Which will probably never happen. And by the way, who's this, Samantha Gerber? I'm going to be gone soon. Oh, here we go.

And then you're going to miss me. Threats of leaving again. How I just been going on for? You're going to celebrate and go, oh, John's gone. And then you're going to go, shit. Where's John? I'm coming up on the anniversary of his last show ever, actually. Yeah, he mentions this.

It's just a few weeks away. Yeah. All right, I guess that's him symbolically leaving. Tiger Lily brings up a good point. So John didn't podcast yesterday. He posted on X today that he's not podcasting again today. Who knows if that's true or not? But Tiger Lily says, notice he isn't podcasting two times a day.

Like when Snowman Dan is in town, he's not podcasting two times a day. He only podcasts because he's lonely. That is interesting. He's not making a lot of money lately. People pointed out. The super chats aren't really coming in. and furious like they had been. So maybe he's just on there to talk to people.

You need somebody to talk to. Yeah. I'll head back to this interview because there's another funny thing that happens. This is a great question. I give these guys props. John, I think so many fans of yours, like they see your career. You know, you've written a book. You do the podcast.

You've been in movies. Of course, Stern, Atlanta. They expect you to be friends with all of these people. Like, are you still friends with any of them? Is there bad blood? Have you burned the bridges with folks? How does it work for you? Are you friends with any of them?

That's a crazy question. That proves he's into the devil's first. Oh, yeah. No, I mean, I'll always love Howard and be grateful. I mean, I've been to his Southampton mansion where he has an elevator and pool and bowling alley. And 22 years ago. Two kitchens, one for him, one for his chef. I'll always be grateful to Howard, and I love Beth, his wife.

And I still, you know, talk to Jay. Howard, I don't know. No, he doesn't. I don't really talk to anybody unless you're really A-less famous nowadays. But, yeah, he doesn't talk to peons like me and Jackie, the joke man anymore. So we had to make it, you have to make sure, just so you know, is that just me. Jackie the joke bad also has lost contact. Jackie the Crabb was about to pull out of that bucket.

Yeah, exactly. Get back in here. You're in here with me, asshole. John cannot help himself. He always has to do that. That's so funny. You're pretty bridges. He's so friends with those guys?

That's such a good question. Yep. But John made himself feel better by going, it's all right. Howard's a jerked everyone. I swear to God. So Thursday night John does a show, or not Thursday afternoon, I should say. He's not as drunk as he was Wednesday night.

and it starts off he's very upset with Nasty Neal because Nasty Neal's were making the rounds lately. And I figured I'd play this clip because I know that Lucy and Nasty Neal's are boyfriend and girlfriend now, is it? Oh, this is news to me. Oh, okay, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be breaking news right now on the show.

But I know how close you two are. So I thought you might want to stick up for your boyfriend. Spy report, spy report. A.K.A. Nasty Neal has made it a point to go on every show he can to trash me. This is how disingenuous it is, though. Like, you come on my show. You want me to be in your movie.

And then you feel like your feelings are hurt. And then you suddenly want to trash me everywhere you can go. fucking grow up dude whose feelings do you think that hurts I love that projection right there oh Nancy what's wrong your feelings are no no I'm actually having a great time over here

John oh look at me I'm trashed John on B YB so the the big guest is Jake Hudson on John's show and I guess Jake Hudson was on Wednesday night when John was waste and he felt bad about it. So he let Jake come back on again the next day.

And it's funny. I've never seen John do this. Like he totally checks out. Jake's just talking to him. John finally just goes, I'm going to let you go. You can go back a little bit or something. But we got to add this.

But not before he gives Jake some really bad legal advice. Remember John, oh, I should bring up. People are sending me in taglines. I'm collecting them. I'm getting logos. I'm getting fun stuff for the Melinda's law firm. one does law he said that he's already got his tagline or a slogan so send it in what do you think his slogan will be we're having a little contest so continue to send those in for us please but

this is great legal advice as uh jake's upset with the super tip system here's the thing patrick melton has my voice on super tips but doesn't give me a percentage of the money from super tips or get let me use super tips that's the reason why i'm mad and i asked him to take my voice off of it. He said no. He says it's sparing. Well, you know, you can sue him for that. What does he have? He has not been. Well, he's got his girlfriend's house, right? How does that make sense? What does he have? He has his girlfriend's house.

The reason why they say that it's just not his house is, because they're saying it's not his house. I love John just going like, you know, you can sue him. You're telling Jake Hudson to go sue somebody. It's a very bad advice. I would not recommend that Jake listened to John Mulanda's squire. I think Jake is smarter than that. He is. Not smart enough to actually set up Supertip system, but that's why he's mad. He did not file lawsuits.

So John is just ignoring his guest because VTL is messaging him, and John's getting totally distracted by that. I don't, I don't promise, though, I just delete it because I don't want people to get mad at me and then strike my channel. I get very mad about it. John, you okay? Yeah, I'm just typing this idiot. Yeah. I'm just typing this idiot.

I'm like, are you okay? Am I still out? Is this thing on? Can you see me and hear me right now? What an asshole John is just ignores this guy? He has like he's throwing him a bone too. So this is John reacting to Vince as the show is going on. I just want to say this, because this fucking dwarfy lawyer always is trying to fuck with me.

First of all, if I said that Ms. Judy is not my type, which is not disparaging her looks in any way, she's not too old. She's actually younger than me. And I don't care, Vince. I'm entitled to my opinion. You can assume me, Vince? So sue me. the fuck who cares she says a lot of shit about me you hear me you see me crying vince uh yeah you're reacting

to it right now at the show yeah i'm so confused by everything that just happened okay he he absolutely called her unattractive he said that her sister was attractive um and in addition to that what was the threat of the lawsuit there what was the so you can sue me is it sue me over the fact that I said that Judy isn't pretty? Yeah, so what's happening here is that John is overreacting as always because that's what Vince is going for.

And I'll give Vince credit. This show was doing nothing and then Vince started messaging him and John just started flying up the handle. So at least something started happening right there making the show a little bit interesting. But this is the whole crazy thing that's going on right now because John got drunk and said bad shit about Judy. And Vince

is just hammering him with it over and over again. And so John's been freaking out about it, and we'll get into that in just a second, but first, Jake did something that really cracked me out. I thought this was really funny. Yeah, by the way, you see the shirt on word? I'm actually wearing my name on a shirt. Yay. I just thought that was adorable. You see the shirt I'm wearing? It's my name. It's awesome. Yeah, so John on Wednesday night was uh here i am drunk again that'd be a fun parody song yes i'm drunk guess he's drunk all right so yes he was drunk wednesday night said mean things about miss judy i don't know

about mean things but just you know he was so attracted to her and really wanted to fuck her and then uh said some disparaging things and so vince has been bringing this up to him and not always getting angry with Judy. Thank you, Doom. Please hit the like to scribe, okay? That fucking, I mean, Ava would know this. Miss Judy is always condescending to me.

Always. She's always making backhanded jokes at my expense. You know what that means? John has never picked up on this, never once, when he's talking to Judy. And then Ava gets in his ear and goes, Judy's kind of being rude to you. She said this thing and that thing. Jack goes, what? She did?

So that's why he has to say Ava knows this. He was so blinded by her beauty. Right. He couldn't hear it. Oh, yeah. Pretty girls can get away with a lot. Know anything about that? Absolutely not.

I don't think so. That's a fact, Jack. Now, you and her. are going on pointless babble point. Why to trash me? I love this. This has John so flustered. Apparently there's a rumor out there that on Point DabblePoint on the who are these

podcast YouTube channel on Monday at 4 p.m. We're going to have VTL and Miss Judy on the show. Wow. That'll be some get. This is more fun than just trashing him. Oh, he's letting him know. Right. he's going to be trash anticipating it well he will be trashed

I mean we usually say nice things about him on that show every now and again we find flaws right what he's doing yeah he should be used to this so stop what you bullshit dwarfie okay for Christ's sake I was hitting on Miss Judy they're all laughing about it

yeah and I'm not really hitting on her you're not but yeah But, yes, she's my type. I don't mind what you call her disability. For me to make fun of anyone's speech impediment is rich because I have one. Also, he wants to try to fix her vocal cords with this dick. I believe he said that at one point. That'll work.

It might. Don't give me any fucking threats. I'm allowed to have, in my honest opinion, to be attracted or not attracted to somebody. Yeah, no shit. What are we even talking about? He's so childish. He's such a child.

So one of the threats is Vince threatening to go on point, devil point with Judy? I guess. It must be it, right? It's funny. And it ain't up to you to lecture me who I should be attracted to and who I shouldn't be. His mouth sounds so wet. I know. I think Lori's attractive.

I don't even know why she's with your dwarfy ass. That is an enigma. John judging other guys' looks is one of the craziest things. Yeah. He calls me a just-do-it. I don't go around talking about who's hot and who's not the damperts. And I still haven't gotten over his shoulder gait. They troop even more when you cry.

But I think you're an ugly fuck. How do you like them apples? Vince doesn't try to fuck you, so I doubt he cares. To me, I think Jake Hudson is better looking than you. You like that, Vince? Good stuff, John.

I'm allowed to say that, you see? Because it's because it's in my honest opinion. Jake's like, what the fuck did I do? I know. Didn't you see my shirt? It's Jake Hudson. John once started a business called Wedding roasters, where he would go and just roast the groom

and the best man. And this is the best he come up with. You're so ugly that an ugly person is better looking than you are. Good stuff. Miss Judy has said horrible things about me. She has? That's not true.

Now we just completely change the narrative. Only to his face. Yeah, everything she said about him, she said to his face. And she says things like, I think you're very funny. You look good for your age. You maybe this is not a great time to be drinking.

Your muscles are very big and bulgy and they look hard, she said. Horrible things about you. What are he talking about? He knows it'll happen eventually. So I guess he's just, you know, looking through the looking glass. Here's a question. When he says things like that, is he already believing it? Yeah.

Or is he setting himself up to believe it if he says it enough? Yeah, I know what you mean. It's almost like it'll feel better. like people who trick themselves into being older than they actually are so when they hit their birthday they're like oh okay it doesn't feel as bad it does actually work yeah it does um i forgot but so yeah i do think that he's sitting there going judy says horrible things about me so when it happens he's it's already happening in his mind so it's not as bad okay right that's that's what i'm picking up on so you tell miss judy

that i don't think she's too old she's way younger than me nice i don't does anyone know judy's age she hasn't given it out right no they're way younger than damn mind her voice and i think she's beautiful thank you

and i would love to take her out for some beers miss judy does not drink beer she's told you this job holy shit he's so stupid he never listens to anything he doesn't care I know

But you'd think that, you know, the way to attract a person is to find commonalities. Maybe things that you could do together. He doesn't know what that means. He has his vegan kid over for beer can chicken. Yeah. I think she likes beer can chicken. So stupid. Capiche.

Now, leave me to fuck alone, counselor, who shares my text with everybody. You fucking weirdo. Skull. Keep talking to Keanu. Oh, oh, Rocco, let me get you love. Let me get you love, Rocco. I'm going to send, I'm going to send you John's text. Yes, yes, I'm going to share personal information.

I heard Elho Replay talking about this today. So not only does Vince the Warrior send screenshots to the text messages to Rocco, but Rocco posts them on his Patreon. So if you guys don't want to see the communications between Vince and John, I think it's five bucks a month. You can get out there and check it out. But he said there's no personal information. It's not like John's giving away his bank account number.

No, but what he is giving away is that it's about the camaraderie between people that bothers him even more than the act of sharing the texts. What are you guys like friends and stuff? What's that like? yeah what's that like Vince is another guy who has to do everything He kind of be friends with people Because he's not easy to get along with

That John texts and says do not share I'm gonna still text it Yeah have you not learned this yet If you tell Vince to not do something He will definitely do that thing Stop sending beer to my house Stop sending deliveries to my house Vince I told you to stop doing this

You fucking moron God damn it Oh, that's okay, right? Dwarfee? That's okay. Oh, wait. Is that okay? Dwarfee? Sending my fucking text out to people?

My private text? Yeah, and Fulchikil brings up a good point. I mean, he keeps, John keeps texting this guy. He was just texting him when we were watching him on with Jacob, in the guy he was texting him. It's like, if you don't want your text sent to people, stop texting Vince. He's the guy who sets your text up to people.

That's the problem. Fucking moron. Is that okay, Dwarfee? I'll wait. And now you're busting my balls because maybe last night when I'm fucking around

with J. Cudson or whatever, I say that I don't find that attractive. Maybe I didn't last night. Maybe I didn't. See, this is an interesting insight into John's psyche so he says all right yeah maybe I did say I didn't find her attractive last night because he was hurt because he heard you know Ava got in his ear Judy's saying some bullshit she's making fun of you and well I don't like her anymore I don't think she's attractive anymore you know like that's his comeback for that she just lost out on this right yeah it's like that's not how it physical attraction works nope compete

Thank you But at the end of the day I do find They're attractive Maybe Literally the end of the day When he's checking off You know

Try and say somebody is not Find her attractive until I don't at all A few seconds later Yeah Nothing to do with anyone Attractive Because then they want your love It's like in high

school when you ignore a woman to get their love remember in elementary school a girl would pinch you because you really liked you no maybe I was doing that maybe I wasn't

I don't know who knows who can help my behavior the only one is making this a big deal is John no one else can give him fuck about this he I know that everybody's has harped on this a million times, but the way that he ties likeability

when it comes to women to their physical appearance is just so despicable to me. He cannot have any conversation. Oh, no, I don't. It's because he spoke, you're right. I'm devastated. I'm devastated. So devastated. This is so personal right now, Lucy. Oh, now you get to see the inside of my

psyche. Lucy even made a video about it. You can check out on patreon.com slash once over with Kaylee. Once over with Kaylee. Thank you. C-A-L-L-E-Y. That's why I gave you a But don't ever tell me Who I can be attracted to

Skull What a dumb thing to say angrily Yeah Don't tell me what I want to fuck I'll tell you All right Fair enough Oh boy

Just fucking ridiculous I really Was debating on doing the show, because I'm so sick of this. I can't stand it, actually. It used to be fun. When was that? When was it fun?

Fun. Beer on the balcony. Yes. That was the end of the balcony, right, with Larry the cable guy. It used to be something that... Why is there a W on your chair, Larry? That was what it was fun. I forgot about that.

It was so funny. I enjoy doing. But it's slowly not becoming fun. Slowly? How many years do we need? How many times you talk about talking to attorneys? I just got out of the phone by attorney. Like every fucking day, I hate talking to attorneys.

It's so much fun. It's slowly becoming less fun. The ship has sailed and not his fake boat either. Fruit fucking sniping me. I got fucking. high school dropouts fucking you know

watching every thing I do commenting on my looks, my nose, my forehead, my fucking shirt. It doesn't bother you though, right, Jan? I think he's proven it. It doesn't bother him. Don't forget your gut and your hair.

Yeah, a lot of things. It's not running off your face down your face right now. I got a guy in Rochester who's a nobody. Let's talk about you, Chris. I'm somebody who sits there and acts like he's somehow better than me. It's fucking amazing. I got a hand.

I got to deal with this nonsense. That's him dealing with it right there. Exactly. How am I going to deal with it today? Go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go. This was my dinner last night. This is great. Hungry man.

21 grams of protein, juicy and tender, Salisbury steak. I can't believe it still exists. I had no idea. I had no idea by Salisbury steak, hungry man, frozen food. And he's showing it off. And why isn't it in the garbage? Why is the box? And not only that it was in arm's reach.

Yeah, there's a show content. I'll pop that right on my desk for myself later. Or that's where he sat and ate dinner yesterday. That's very possible. Yeah. savory gravy made from scratch hearty homestyle mashed potatoes and but wait there's more a rich fudge brownie there's no vegetable in that it's it's hamburger meat with gravy no there is but the green screen took it out oh right right but it's not listed on the list of things though is it that's not how you attract a hungry man

They're not proud of the vegetable. Okay. Just push that to the side. Regular-ass green beans. The worst green bean do you ever eat? Yum. Look at that baby. Yeah, baby.

It's got the fake grill marks on it. This is so pathetic. It's hamburger meat. eating onions. It sounds good. It does. You gotta love that. Add some good eat.

Good eating. And tonight, I'll do the piesta instance or whatever you're saying. The what? I don't know what he's going for. The pietta. Oh, the pistaresissance.

Ah, okay. The hungry. The hungry. man fried chicken. Oh, no. Two nights in a row with hung frozen dinners? My doctor said I'm not good enough sodium.

Your heart is way too healthy. And that blood pressure. Let's get that off. Yes. And now I'm going to get some beer because it's 705. And we're about an hour and ten minutes away from kick.

call so happy he was and now I'm gonna go get some beer he was like a minute he goes like I fucking hate this shit goddamn devil verse I got a fucking orange and a potato and a drop out oh it's beer time wee he so that's okay I'll be right

back hit the like button thank you doom for uh for putting that together for us uh we did have captain chaos or captain cheese I'm sorry getting cheese coming in, remember for three months, says, Lucy, don't listen to John.

Your tits are great. And Chris, your shoulders, shoulders look normal. Thank you. Yay. Didn't say anything about my snack. Congratulations. Wait. The fuck.

Right back at you, sweet tits. All right. So after John comes back with his beer, after that, he realizes that showed off his Sellsberry steak, hungry man, probably doesn't make him look great. He's in the kitchen app going, yeah, wait a minute. Probably should have done that. So you're going to talk about how he likes to. to cook, too.

Look, man. I'm a single dude. And a hungry man. I cook. I make my steak. I make my beer can chicken. Do you think? Do you think it was originally called

Lonely Man dinners? And every lonely guy's like, what I don't want to be in my cart? How do you see it in my cart? Can we rebrand this? I cook. I make my steak I make my beer can chicken

I haven't made that in a while You know I mean Sometimes I like it easy Some fried chicken So he realized how ridiculous He was bragging about his hungry-made fried chicken Came back and said

You know sometimes I cook steak and that other thing Now this Is fantastic John starts having a delusional fantasy And I love when John starts fantasizing Because you can see the wonder in his eyes. He was like, could you imagine this is what my life actually was? There was a girl at the gym that he fancied.

And listen to what he's come up with in his mind is going to happen. Speaking of which, I did meet a girl at the gym. I'm sorry, can you pause it today? He said speaking of which, what was he talking about that led to this? The chicken. Okay. Right. I was confused.

Obviously. That's not what you think about immediately. Well, it's up there. Well, I think it's because he realizes what a lonely, pathetic loser he is. So now he's trying to be like, by the way, Medichick. I went to the gym. Oh, right, right, right. Talk to a girl.

We got to talk, and she's got a mouth. She's okay. She's a kid, Coral, 8. Mm-hmm. Or, you know, kid Coral 7. Oh. And we started talking. It turns out she lives very close to me and...

It's terrify her. Don't give him your address. And she is a boat captain. Okay. So we are going to meet tomorrow. Arr, I'm at my boat. I got a lad lover. Let me suck your dick.

this is so stupid what he's about to say is a boat captain so we are going to meet tomorrow no you're not at my boat where she will scrub the barricles off it upload cookies to my garment and we are going to take the boat out on Saturday with me and Hitman Dan. Hold on a second. Okay, so this is Thursday. All right. Thursday morning,

meets a girl at the gym, talks to her. Sure. And then they make plans that the next day, Friday, they're going to go to his boat to upload cookies,

what are you much how stupid that is. And then Saturday, they're going to go back to his boat again with Hitman Dan. So that they can get married on Sunday. It's a fast relationship

that's going on. This is that with child things. And then we're going to hang out the next day, and then the next day, and the next day after that. She's my girlfriend now. And and the girl

and a friend of hers and maybe a couple of other friends. Right. Do a little excursy to Fort Myers Beach. Scoot!

John is pretending he owns a boat and has five friends. Imaginame. It goes out a little. That's hysterical. He's like, oh, maybe that wasn't impressive enough. And maybe some other friends.

You're right. Yeah. And maybe some bikini babes as well. Definitely some bikini babes. And maybe some girls will go wild on this boat. He's insane. No, that's going to happen. And I can't wait for him to report back.

Oh, he'll probably forget that he said that. Oh, he for sure, we'll forget that he said that. Someone is going to chat him and ask him, I was date one and then I'll have to make have something out of the fly Fort Myers Beach guys whoever chats John

I remember he said he was going to go to Fort Myers Beach on an excursion with his new lady friend Hitman Dan and three other people for some reason Big Bird will be there

and I'm not sure he's real All right you guys ready to play a game Yes Let's do it It's time for everyone's favorite new game show

to poke a dabbler what do you say Carl and co-host are you ready to poke a dabbler like dabbles anonymous

these people are such blatant fools that it's like it's almost incomprehensible for a man of my intelligence

to his ingest? I mean, they lie about everything. Everything is a lie. Which is why I don't go on there, but today I found it funny.

I was laughing out loud at the myriad of ridiculous hypotheses about me. To make a long story short, what happened to me yesterday was not a sign of alcoholism, was not me being inebriated, was not about too much drinking, too much partying. No, what happened to me yesterday

was simply COVID. And I should have known because I've had, This is the third time I've gotten COVID. The first being when I was out in New York, I got it from my niece at my brother's house. What a bitch. During Christmas time. The second time is when Danny and Dawn gave it to us in Atlantic City. And then finally, this time.

You know, I listen to Fauci a lot during that whole thing. I remember talking about sharing Coke straws. That's another way you can get you COVID now. Interesting. thing. And I should have known what really was going on. I was around 1 o'clock completely

exhausted. And I had a diet, I had a mountain dew. Just take two of those who you have COVID. And usually that wakes me up. It didn't. It just made me even

what appeared to be drowsier. But the only problem with that is that I just didn't feel right. I felt like out of breath and nauseous and dizzy. And that's why I threw up.

Had nothing to do with my boost drinks. I'm not throwing them away. Who throws up on COVID? Who drinks boost? I'm not throwing away my pretzels and hummus. It wasn't food poisoning. It was

simply COVID but I love how all of you losers in this chat could not what did John say next here your choices number one resist to misconcrew what happened B fathom that it wasn't alcohol that's impossible next from saying that it was alcoholism. Four. For all intensive purposes, just give me the benefit of the doubt. And lastly,

resist lying about me, irregardless of the facts to poke a dabbler. Wow, this is a tough one. I think I'm going to go with next, with Stain from saying that it was alcoholism. What do you think, the Lucy tight box.

I was fluctuating between next and lastly. I think I'm going to go with lastly, though. All right. Resist lying about me, irregardless of the facts. Producer Chris, what do you got? I went. No, I'm changing. I never do this.

I'm going to one. Resist to misconscrew. Yeah. What happened? Well, some smart people in the chair are saying, lastly, let's find out. I'm not throwing away my pretzels and hummus. It wasn't food poisoning.

It was simply COVID. but I love how all of you losers in this chat could not withstand from saying that it was alcohol which is your go-to, isn't it? It is. Because you don't have anything, so you must find something.

That's all for this time. Come back next time to find it if you are man and to poke a dabbler brought to you by patreon.com slash card of electric join now or don't okay card of electric your next word is with stain can you use it in a sentence stuttering john's t-shirt is with stain thank you with stain w i t-h-h-s-t-a-in with stain Sit, Eugene, sit. Good dog. Well done, Cardiff.

Great game, as always. We do appreciate Carthwatch around here. We also appreciate Lucy Tightbox for coming over to the studio, being with us on this episode, sharing your Megan Markle clips. Where can be able to find you if they want more Lucy Tightbox? They can find me on YouTube or Patreon and once over with Kaylee, C-A-Y-L-E-Y. I do movie reviews as well as talk about the dabbleverse and, yeah, all that fun stuff. Tiger Lily.

Cardiff says he's on John's show on Wednesday. I saw that he was teasing this. That'd be interesting to see. I don't know that John sets up guests that far in advance. Yeah. Doesn't have a calendar or anything like that. No. Be surprised.

Hmm. All right. Is he going up against us? Hmm. All right. We got to, what, listen to some voicemails? We got the news. Also, Isotopes Three Heads, Atlantic Ave, December 13.

December 13. Sanctarius. Also, we're at the Holiday Village tonight if you happen to be around 8 to 11. That's downtown Rochester. Theisotopes.com to get better information than what we're giving. A band. Internet News with Jenny. from Patreon, the negative creep suggests

Opie should move to the UK. Tipping isn't a thing and we're all miserable cunts. He will love it. Dedy points out so even with all her flaws, Opie's mom actually reached out to him with a psychiatrist to help the situation? Opie told her no, yet kept the psychiatrist around? I hope that's not a true story. Otherwise this guy sounds like a terrible person. Cripple 13 notes, Adam's reaction to seeing Casey Tran go to a full body shot is priceless. SSD is in good company.

Loving the extended games portion of the show From Reddit, Thixit 403 takes a stab at the slogan. Melinda's lore firm. Your trolls will face the long orangutan-like arms of the law. Hersome IP asks us all, Who hasn't dreamed that impossible dream to win the gold bracelet? Barnes and Noobso Pines. Funny part is, that TV dinner is more useful than that diploma of his.

Once ate a Lego ads, it seems like he's just as proud of the hungry man dinner, too. He certainly is winning. Agile copy inquires, how do you have three fantastic children and spend Thanksgiving alone wasted? Finger Classic explains, his excuse was, they don't like turkey. What the fuck does that have anything to do with it? We have a turkey, a ham, and prime rib. There are other options, but seeing he is a wet brain, that doesn't even compute to him.

And from YouTube, Marty for Life weighs in on Flagrant. Authent is currency, and everyone on that show is bankrupt. What now notes, Flagrant went full Howard Stern. Never go full Howard Stern. Tony Quest 87 breaks it down. Apparently words don't mean what they mean, and we just misinterpreted everything she said. All they did was insult our intelligence for an hour.

Mark Williams, with a brilliant observation, Opie. Why does my blumber have a podcast? Also, Opie. I made a waiter, the co-host of my podcast. Lord Pembridge, even when people have sympathy for Opie, he has to mess it up and turn back into the most unlikable person on the planet. Burt March, it wouldn't surprise me to find out Opie is crawling through the air ducts of his apartment building just to avoid running into staff members, and thus having to tip them 20 bucks.

As CAD reports, I must say, Greg descending into isolation and insanity is the most interesting and compelling thing he's done in all his career. Props to you guys for covering it, because I'm sure not going to watch this garbage. And Big News 99 plays us out with... I sleep in a racing car, do you? Excellent. Excellent, net news. Everyone involved, we appreciate it. Thank you for calling into the show and sharing your thoughts with us. Hey, Carl, James in Las Vegas. Listen, I was totally on your side about how can chicken from a gas station be any good? But I got to tell you, last night, I finally went to that one here that Frenchihanna went to, and I have switched. I am now completely on Team Frenchihanna and producer Chris. That crispy, crunchy chicken,

is fantastic. So here's what I'm thinking. Next time Hacomania rolls through town, forget Rocco and his late night White Castle run. How about me, you, Frenchie, and producer Chris, Uber to the gas station to have some real late night fine cuisine. How's that sound? Great.

Okay. Bye. You know who's going to tag along with this, though, is Christian Blatt. Yeah, that's fine. He's definitely going to tag along on that excursion. But I'm in. Let's do it. Eating chicken with Frenchie?

Do you even imagine how fun that would be? Yes. Yes. Like, Fudgie, what does the receipt say? What's the name of this place? What did you order? How much was it? It would be fun.

I don't know why you continue to doubt me becoming a lawyer. Already got a slogan, you dumb fuck. The Melendez fur less than eight hundred. $150 an hour. Pretty good. Theory, hang up. Looks like it's just, it would be again tonight, babe.

You know, I was just spreading misinformation to the Dambelburns. The actual slogan is, law by Melendez, my arguments are stupendous. Okay. Keep sending in your taglines for John's

law for that was getting a little too real I know it really was you would be hey king of Portugal your phone sucks or something's going on record your voicemails

and email them to me because I can't make out what's going on I don't want to force people to listen to that but I like it when you call yeah I was going to give a big fuck you to that guy

that called on Wednesday about Adam Bush being an episode of house because I already called about that exact episode like a few months ago listen to the voicemels jackass

yep all right voice-mellers all could only have an experience one time someone else already had it you can't have it this guy called it I think he's from Buffalo and he's got some thoughts on my appearance on Drew's show we went over

Howard Stern talking about the lady boys to Thai lady boys and how that was a huge topic on the show all year because Howard at the end of the night likes to scroll through Thai lady boys on Instagram he's got some insights on us Oh, Carl, it is very early in the morning. I'm just trying to listen to your appearance on June, Mike.

And now I've got to fucking weigh in on my way to work. Howard Stern is bringing up Thai Lady Boys. And as a person in the community myself, I want to talk about that because you're looking for anonymous transects. You can get that anywhere. Grindr is very easy. Anyone can download it. It's quite a fucking mess.

But you can get anonymous transects anywhere, especially fucking New York. Going to Thailand and looking at Thai Lady Boys is a very specific king. And if your friend says he's going to Thailand or he's just going for a vacation, cut contact. He likes kids. Thai lady boys are specifically chosen because they look like fucking kids. They are all meant to look way too young. And it's a big fucking problem that I've been yelling about for a while. Anyways, don't come to school tomorrow.

Have a good day. Bye. All right. Thank you for that call. Yeah, I guess we didn't really pick up on that. The fact that the Thai lady boys, the word boys. It's a problem. It's problematic.

That's what Howard's into. of course there were all those rumors about Ralph his stylist for all those years and a guy who used to hang around with Howard confirmed them to me but who knows who knows what Howard did to maybe he's into chicks with vaginas boobs weird I think that's possible uh my FedEx guy calling into the show hey Mr. Hamburger this is your FedEx driver here I've got your weekly shipment of elephant feces here and I knocked on the door and you didn't answer I imagine you're recording your podcast and I know you love to eat this stuff. out fresh. So I'm going to take my lunch break out here, my truck. Do you want to come out in the next half hour or so and get it? That'd be appreciated. Anyway, have a good one, buddy. Don't call me back. That's not going to help with the rumors. That's not going to help at all. Your FedEx guy blowing you in again. Jesus Christ. I'm just going to go to the store and start buying it. Elephant? Is that the part? That's the part you think it's gross? Yes. This is a fun little anecdote from Thanksgiving.

Hey, Carl, Dylan in Texas here, calling to share a major douche show moment from Thanksgiving. I was having a few drinks with my soon-to-be father-in-law, trying to get to know him better, and ask him about comedy. He said he doesn't really like stand-up, but that he used to watch the Jay Leno Tonight Show. Through sheer word association alone, I ended up artistically explaining to him what Tudder John has been up to for the last several years without any prompting whatsoever, simply asking him if he remembers who's thurring John was, and then five minutes later I'm at the Thanksgiving table explaining that he reads two to five dollars superchats to be insulted at a time, threatened litigation to puppets, that he is now being sued for revenge porn

in the state of New York, all while he just sat there nodding very confused and I don't think I can look at him again. Don't call me back. Bye. Yeah, that's embarrassing. You outed yourself to your future father a lot of your wedding still on. Yikes. I don't want you marrying a dabler. We'd have a talk. Last voicemail. Hi, you've reached the Carl Hotline for 95 a minute. Here are some words that rhyme with Carl. NARL. tomorrow gay well

doesn't even come close to arriving I didn't know I had a hotline either that's kind of interesting to get my attorney on the phone about that that's a deep poll it's a Simpsons yeah

um all right well we gotta go right yeah I gotta go bye I got to go bye I got to go

I gotta go I gotta go I gotta go I gotta go Okay, bye. Bye. Bye. A plane has hit. I rewatched Carly.

Boom. His mom. Boom. Boom. Yes. Thank you for tuning in. Bye. Wait.

Come back. All right. Ready to roll the credits? Yep. All right, guys. Until next time Bye Seamless

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