Who Are These Podcasts? - Ep684 - Howard Re-Signs, Opie, Seinfeld, Stuttering John, Bill Burr, Aaron Imholte

Episode Date: December 18, 2025

We start off this week checking out Jerry Seinfeld on We Might Be Drunk with Mark Normand and Sam Morril. Seinfeld doesn’t give AF while Mark and Sam nervously try to get him to say something, anything interesting.  Aaron Imholte from Steel Toe missed the goal by $140 on Tuesday and tried to act like he wasn’t upset about it. On Wednesday’s show we find out he was very, very upset about it. Bill Burr has life figured out; he even knows how to have fun at Disneyland now. Amazing! Howard Stern announces three more years at SiriusXM. He claims his entire staff didn't know until he said it live on the air. If that's true that's pretty messed up. These are all adults who have financial obligations to their families. Why would Howard want to stress these people out right before the holidays? Opie announces that Thursday is “Ron Day” and that all superchat money will go to Ron the Waiter. We’ll see about that. Miss Judy returns to Stuttering John’s show and he’s never been hornier or more hard-up. Megan and Annie join us for another round of “Is It Gay?”, the Opie or Burr game, and Cardiff’s “To Poke A Dabbler.” We finish up with Spotify comments, reviews, and your voicemails.  Watch the episode here: https://youtube.com/live/KBu_5BJRdKM Support us, get bonus episodes, and watch live every Saturday and Wednesday: ⁠http://bit.ly/watp-patreon⁠ ⁠https://watp.supercast.tech/⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I told them, in the strongest of words, to just do it. You see, this is a, we just do it kind of show. See, I'm not like one of these guys that are going to lie to you. His delicious lack of awareness paired with an o-fish need to be liked. Delectable episode, 684. Are you a boner guy? Oh, I was a boner guy. You know what? I missed penis.

What are you talking about? I'm the one who should apologize. Is it going to be absolutely riveting? Is it going to change your life by any stretch? Probably not, but it's going to be at least entertaining, okay? By the way, for those people that are in the back, remember to shut the fuck up. Maddieo! Cuzzaroo!

Cuzzaroo! Slapparuni. It's showtime. WATP, welcome to another episode of Who are these podcasts, the only show that uses perfect analogies all the time. I'm your host, Carol, the $850,000 man with me every Wednesday, the man who knows more about Ron Berman and Tony P than Opie ever will. It's Adam Bush. Looking good, feeling good. Producer Chris is here as well.

Hi. Please go to Who Are These.com. It's where you get our email address, voicemail number, link to our Discord server, link to our merchandise, link to our YouTube channel, and that link to Patreon to Supercast featuring two exclusive bonus episodes every single month. We're continuing on with our living in the past with Centering John series, and we're up to 18 episodes of that. You can get caught up on the entire back catalog and listen to our most recent episode

when you sign up a Patreon.com slashy where these podcast or become a member here on this YouTube channel. That's another way to get all the goodies. go to the membership tab and find all those videos that we put out as bonus content behind the paywall. It also helps support the show and keep the lights on here in this studio. Hackamania, three tickets are available if you go to hackamania.com. Hack to the future is the theme this year, April 10th through the 12th in Las Vegas,

save 10% with promo code, WATP. Adam, would you recommend people go to Hackamania this year? They must go this year. It's crazy that people are thinking about not going to the show. It's the biggest event in the devilvers. It is the biggest event in the devilverse. Now, I know... Shut up and take my money.

Exactly. Now, I know that Chad Zubox talking about putting on a comedy show with Ray DeVito and Akron, Ohio, in January. But I promise you, Hacomania is going to be a bigger event than that. Adam's like, where do I set up for that? Are they on sale now? Of course, so not. Chad's putting it together.

So, no, there's... He's a comedy, right? Tickets will never be a film. It's a matinee show. It's a 4 p.m. show in Akron, Ohio. And he started out playing pickup basketball the next day. I told him to put us after the puppet show. It's crazy.

Actually, that'd be funny if, yeah, if Tuckie was the headlighter. Also, we encourage our listeners. Give us five stars on Apple Podcasts and shit over us in the comment section. We'll have some review girls on later today. of course, play some games, but also read your review, so we appreciate that. But today, we'll be talking about Stilton missing the goal by a lot on Tuesday. He missed it by a lot. Bill Burr has completely transformed his life and is better than anyone else.

It's unbelievable what this man is able to accomplish in the last week and a half. Howard Stern's big announcement that he's staying at Sirius XM will be covering the way that all went down. Of course, Opie tries to interview Tony P, and it's a disaster. Judy returns this during John's show And John never stops hitting on her Also, Magidlbier Another round of Is It Gay? Cardiff has a round of Topeka Dabler

We have that other game Opie or Burr Coming in for a third time We have reviews and voicemails But first Adam was checking something out He was looking at Seinfeld

Jerry Seinfeld Was on We might be drunk with Mark Norman and Sam Marill and a rare instance where you get Jerry Seinfeld being interviewed

on a podcast and so you thought this was something interesting to check out yeah if you're a fan of this show it's pretty great the comics are

incredible Mark Norman and Samaril they're very very funny and it's just nice to see them a little nervous like in the opening just a little stiff

this is the worst part of the podcast world what's that It's just that you're set in a spot. You're like, you stay here. It's like a dog. Right.

You sit. You stay here. Yeah. Right? In comedy, it's free. It's about freedom. You don't move a ton, though. Do you move a lot?

Yeah. Oh, yeah. I guess you do. You told me to move more. Yeah. Does Jerry feel like he always has to be observing things? Because wouldn't this also be the case of, like, having dinner with friends or sitting around living room and having a conversation with people.

It's like, yeah, you sit, talk. He's more Seinfeld here than, like, Homer Simpson is Homer Simpson. Right. Yeah, he's doing the thing. Especially with these guys, he's so comfortable with them. You can tell they love him. He makes them nervous, but they're also like, boy, he loves to talk about comedy. And we must be his only friends because this is, wow.

It's exactly like the opening for the next two hours. But Mark tries to make Jerry comfortable by mentioning a historic standard. performance that Jerry gave that helped heal a nation go back you were the first comic on at gotham the first show back from COVID yeah you were the first you went on before the host because it was like symbolic I think wow I don't remember that really no no no I didn't do a set that night oh whoops yep all right hey remember that really cool thing you did no I probably didn't do that okay but don't worry mark makes it up to him by mentioning he mentions one of his his favorite jokes of jerry's

Oh, good. That and Bozo to Clown. Those are my two big ones. Bozo, the Clown. That's not me. I think that's you. No, no. That's you.

I'm pretty sure it's you. Does he need the Clos of the district attorney? Yeah, that was good for you. Really? Yeah. Doesn't ring a bell. It's almost like, if I did say that, I would apologize. I disown it.

Yeah, that's not a good bit, actually. Happens a lot in this episode, so Mark doubles down on it. This is going so wrong. If you'd be clown. I never said that. Pull it up. We can find that. That's a funny line.

You used it on the opening of the TV show at one point. Because you did a clown episode with George. Remember that? Who cares? Who cares? So, uh, yeah. Not that interesting. Is it better to be right or to have a conversation with the guests and keep things moving?

I don't know. He just doesn't care. Yeah, it's great. But luckily, because they're friends, Mark and Jerry, Mark mentions a personal moment of doubt that happened to Jerry while he was filming his last special. And didn't you shoot your HBO special when you, I think you told me you were a little, you weren't ready,

or you weren't feeling ready to shoot, I'm telling you for the last time. It was right after the show ended. No, no, I was ready. I had done a lot of, a long tour, Australia and Europe, and I was good. Okay, I thought you were saying it was one of the heart things you've done. We're shooting that. Oh, no. Jerry doesn't give a shit, does he? Nope. It's kind of refreshing. He's difficult.

Yeah, he is very difficult, but I think that's fun. Yeah. Were you telling me this thing? No, definitely not. And by the way, Mark Norwood probably is correct about all these things. Yep. I would imagine. He is. Yeah. He's just difficult. He has nothing to prove, nothing to care about. So I enjoy that. However, he does give a little. bit and he mentions the one time he did get thrown at a live taping so it's two shows first show I go out really feeling good yeah and I'm just going oh I'm gonna just lay this down just so I want it and some guy it was a was a Howard Stern fan um did this blood curdling scream that just stopped

the whole room just went yeah oh that's still in there no no we cut it out I swear I heard that I thought there was a heckle in there, yeah. No, we cut it out. Why would you leave that into special? It's still in there. Now, again, he might be right about this because I feel like he is an expert on Jerry Seinfeld. He was, it happened during like the live stream. So people did see it, but it's not on the rebroadcast and on the tape.

It's something like that. Okay. That makes sense. And it's funny. Do you think Mark's kicking himself after this interview? Adam, what was your sense of, um, how he probably felt this went. I think they're so in awe of Jerry

and they're balancing this act between pleasing him and also like not trying to be such sycophants. And I think he realizes he might have lost that battle but I don't think he cares. Everybody wins here. Okay, good. I'm glad to hear that. It's not a big deal. It's just fun to see him off his game

and it's fun to see Jerry not giving a shit. But Mark tries real hard to sell this funny mispronunciation of a word in this last one. The thing about the no shark has ever performed at sea world they've never done one thing they've tried and tried to get one just jump or do something you know so but i changed the pronunciation of seaworld to sea world oh wow that's why you're the master jerry

you think that's too big of a reaction for that it was a little much it was a little much. He even shoots a look to his producer guy. Like, how's this going? How am I looking? Yeah, he turned into an Akash Singh right there. We're just like, whoa! Throwing water bottles around. I can't believe a hilarious. I was like, all right, come down. It was just a quick little anecdote. That's all.

I like that he calls it a Howard Stern guy. I'm wondering if he thinks it was someone like Bababoo or if he's just referring to that as one of those Howard Stern kind of things. Oh, yeah. I assumed it's like someone who yells out with the golfers. They don't really do that anymore. but it used to be when you watch golf on TV every single time I said it would teed up

bababooy like all right we get it buddy calmed out over there I'd like to think Howard said somebody there just to piss off John I could have done that that's all he said Jerry I would have come up with something better

like dumb fuck we got to talk about our boy Steeltoe please please please guys stream labs PayPal super chats

rumble rants Venmo maybe you know what Maybe we don't deserve it. Aaron Mholt, his audience is shrinking. It's looking bad for him. He's been playing this character. I talked about this on this little pig.

I don't bring a lot of seal toast stuff to this show because we go pretty deep on this little piggy. So on this show, I like to talk about him missing the goal. I think that's a lot of fun. So we'll be doing that today. But he's playing this like pompous douchebag heel character that people aren't like enjoying very much. I think he needs to pivot because his audience is going away

He's missing goals, and he seems to be broke because the steel-toe subreddit picked up on the fact that he's on Facebook marketplace selling a couch and love seat for $150. Oh, my God. Yeah. That seems like a guy who's, I don't know, you need $150 for your own love seat to the basement. It's not worth a stranger coming over and haggling with you. Right, because you're not even going to sell. for the $150 bucks.

No. I learned this the hard way I was trying to get rid of an acoustic guitar. Yeah. But I read it

just should have smashed the shit out of it in the backyard. Oh yeah. The ovation. Yes. They're impossible to

get rid of. I talked to so many different idiots about that stupid guitar. Nobody wants ovation. Play it and everything. I'm like,

oh, God. Nobody wants that. I know. I didn't want it either, Adam. That's my point. That rounded bottom that's like an indigo

girls. It doesn't sit on you well. I know. It's, uh, anyway, Anyway, so he's got this couch for sale, and people picked up on that. And so, as you know, Stilto has active HROs out on both Nick Rakeda and my buddy Patrick

Melton. Now, the Patrick Melton one is a head scratcher because that came at the beginning of July and there still has not been a trial for that or a hearing for that. And Patrick fought that immediately. Patrick lives in Las Vegas. Aaron's in St. Cloud, Minnesota. and Aaron's afraid for his safety from Patrick Melton

the big bad bully guy who goes around beating people up all the time you know Patrick Melton the guy was always using his fists first and his brain second that guy? What is he talking about? It's the dumbest shit. So Aaron went to a hearing against Nick Ricada

and had to pretend that he's scared of him and oh I'm worried for my safety this guy. He's a big, meany, scary guy. And so I assume he's going to do try the same bullshit with Patrick Melton whenever that. goes to court you're leaving out that he found Jesus in between well he's a different kind of person that's not that's true but this is um someone brings up the fact that those couches might end up at

hackamania three because you might remember that the fridge the charcutory fridge oh yeah showed up at hackamia three that was a fun thing right from nick rakeda's uh bedroom and so listen to how erin responds to this sorry scouscoe says the Couch will be at Hackamania 3. Actually, I think by that time, that could land people in jail. He literally just stuck out his tongue. This is a man who has to go to a hearing to explain that he's afraid of Patrick Melton. That's why he took out this restraining order because he's afraid for him and his daughter, their safety.

And now he's going, well, if he does order my couch, he'll be going to jail and sticks his tongue out at him. Now, this doesn't seem like a man who's really afraid of Patrick Meldon. It looks like actually what he wants to do is get revenge. And that's why there's a restraining order. People in jail. So, sorry, that's going to make a lot of buttholes sore. There's a couple people in here with very sore buttholes. We've been kind of giving it to them a little raw lately.

I'm sorry, I'll back off the. I'm sorry, but you guys make it too easy. So, no, we've got a great show today. Okay. So that's Aaron's thing now where he's just like, oh, man, I say something to rally you guys up. You're probably pissed to me right now, right? This is the character that I say sucks. I'm just kind of grossed out.

It's just like he's more into gay sex than ever. You're grossed up by gay sex? By him talking about it, yes. Going out of record. The way he does, yes. This is the beginning of Aaron missing Tuesday's goal, yesterday morning's goal. And the evening shows are going very. poorly. So he needs the morning shows to come through for him because no one's

watching the evening shows at all. He's given up on the goal in the evening shows. So he definitely needs to make his nut in the morning time. At least rather know that I suck. Uh, shit show with $1.99 says maybe a job would help. Are you good at anything? I have a job now. It's going very well. You probably didn't hear shit show. Two years in a row. Steeltoe is turning a profit for two years in a row for the first time ever. I know that upsets you, kid. But I'm just very competitive. about that number. I like that it gets to you so much, though,

that you have to tune into the show. I am a must-watch program. You can cope however you'd like about why. They've turned a profit for two years in a row for the first time ever. Yeah. Don't even know what that means. He doesn't either.

Also, why is he bragging about turning a profit? I don't know. It's just one guy. It's just Aaron. The word profit really doesn't matter. At all. Your overhood couldn't be any lower. Yeah.

So he gives himself a salary. And then if he makes more money than that salary, he's like, ah, we're profitable. I guess. We lowered my salary again. Yeah, cool. We talked about this. We teased this a little earlier. Okay.

Then he goes into whatever he's doing on there. Yeah. So I love that thing where people are upset because, oh, I see you guys are seething out there because I mentioned that we've turned a profit two years in a row. Oh, yeah, yeah. That gets everyone really upset. everyone wants to make sure that you make money but not enough to be profitable that's what we're hoping for so fast forward a little bit we're a ways away from the goal and this is four hours and 30 minutes into the show all right guys we're 160 away from today's goal help out if you can like i said i'm not going to go fucking bananas over this one because we're probably not going to hit so i don't want to i don't want to like yell and scream and look at look like an idiot and then still take an L. So enjoy this.

Once we hit the goal, the music stops, I suppose. Here we go. Stream Labs, PayPal, Fedmo. Oh, my God. All right. So what's nice here is that he's taking the music out himself. This is from the original, his channel, this video that we're watching right here. And so he's playing Tiny Tim and he wants to monetize his video.

So what YouTube will let you do is go in and take out. the music that's stopping you from monetizing a video after the fact. So this is great because what we're witnessing here is what's actually happening without the stupid music playing, the silence and what Aaron is actually dealing with here is he's begging for this money. It's going to be warm out today. By the way, 160 is the number we hit with me throwing the ad revenue in. So it is official.

We have not even brought in a hundred bucks this morning. So this is something new now. He's on Rumble. And Rumble does these deals where if the host reads an ad, depending on how people are watching, they'll give you some money. And I'm talking sometimes $10, sometimes it doesn't.

Oh, you hear that stuttering job? Yeah, that's the kind of money this guy's making with these Rumble ad reads. What about a Bakers doesn't? And now he's a game, sometimes a baker's dozen. And now he's getting so desperate that he's throwing that in towards the goal to help out the viewers who are obviously contributing to the goal with Venmo, PayPal, Rumble Rance, Super Chats, Stream Labs, et cetera, et cetera. You're feeling generous, please do. Very good show. I'm very happy with the show quality. It moved very fast. It's just,

What do you do? That's a new thing, too. He talks about the show's good because it moved very fast. The four hours and 30 minutes went. Four hours and 30 minutes, yeah, just flew right by. Root says that shit got blown way out of proportion and it was my fault. I was way fucked up. It's all right.

It ended up being funny. All right, guys, throw a couple of bucks in. Stream Labs, PayPal, Venmo, Super Chats, Rumble Rants. we're probably not hitting today, and that fucking stinks, but I'm not, I'm not going to yell and scream for it. I'm not going to, when we're 160 away, there's no yelling and screaming because I'll just, it's going to look bad enough and people that hate the toe are going to be, you know, whining and bitching about how we lost by 160 already. I'm not going to yell and scream about it at the same time. Mad move says Aaron is so mad. I mean, I'm not happy about

the way today went. oh god damn that's all right we got two more of these left we got to run it back twice for the five minute segment guys at least throw something in if you're feeling really generous get christmasy today whatever let's see what happens thank you for being here today i appreciate that i appreciate you just being here hitting like but a couple of bucks can't help himself he can't be like guys don't you don't have to give me money today you know what whatever this one's on me we had a fun show today it's great he has to go you could be throwing money at me though you know some of you assholes i'm looking at the numbers there's

people watching aren't even giving me money right now it's a little while i don't need it though i love doing this i love doing it for you so we're all good and for the record but if you could just one no one over here is whining or complaining that he didn't make the goal no yes not at all Can't believe you gave Roots 3,000. He is just like, guys, everyone just needs to throw some money in. And I like it when he resorts to, like, you got to just give me money. Because a lot of times he has different language for it, different words for it. All right, guys, throw a couple of bucks in.

Stream Labs, PayPal, Venmo, Super Chats, Rumble Rants. We're probably not hitting today. And that fucking stinks, but I'm not going to yell and scream for it. I'm not going to, when we're 160 away, there's no. I like that he's doing this thing now where, this is the definition of cope I've done this too where I'm like well the bills aren't going to win the Super Bowl this year

and Oliver's out for the season Matt Milano's not the same anymore with this pack issues you know I just say shit like that but I'm really hoping that they still win the Super Bowl you know but they're just like going to hit the goal today I don't even care gives a shit it's not a big deal

but it is a big deal I can't wait to be done with this week this is a fight there main vein with 20 bucks says song's gay but here's 20 anyway all right well thank you main vein that's very nice of you 1.45 away from this morning throw a couple of bucks in let's see how much of a lot let's see how little of a loss we can take someone says tiptoe to unemployment thank god we're out of those days thank god that's not a threat anymore Jesus so Aaron's claiming that for a long time, the goal was so important to him because it meant that he would have to get a real job if he didn't hit the goal.

But this year, because he's profitable, it rolls right off his back. He doesn't matter if he doesn't make – even though he's got a lot of legal expenses, you would think he would have more overhead with just attorney fees and things. People also don't like to hire those that are right out of prison. That's a good point, yes. It's good for him. Yeah. So you saw he just got $20, and what's his instinct? Not to be thankful for the $20.

No, never. Let's see if we can match that 20 that main vein just threw out there. How about more people throw that in, Karmic? Is that insane? His instinct is to be like, all right, someone gave me 20 bucks. Why is everyone else giving me 20 bucks? I'm looking at you, producer, Chris. Get your wallet out, motherfucker.

What's your problem? Oh, go sell a couch. All right. uh this is just ill-timed he tries to put a little uh video drop in here that doesn't make any sense at 20 that uh main vein just threw out there how about more people throw that in karmic what do you think about that 20 want to fuck let's fuck thank you buddy 1.45 away one more time through the song maybe something crazy happens i don't know what did that mean carmick what do you think about that 20 you want to fuck what it's worse than john's cracker

head, Bob. You're welcome. Right. Yeah. Just like a tick. Complete disconnect. Just doing stuff for the sake of doing stuff. So then he gets to the point, and he usually does, when he's not making the money. And this is like when guys are looking for sex and they know the girls aren't interested, they're just like, can you just

pity me? Can you just suck my dick? Because I'm just so desperate and we're both embarrassed. Please. Yeah. If you're feeling pity, throw us a couple of bucks, but I'm not sensing a lot of pity. We've got

a minute left. Hey, at least we didn't break down and yell and scream for it. When some lose some. That's the spirit. I'm just doing my time right now. That's all. I don't think anybody's coming to rescue

the old Toad today. By the window. At least this wasn't Beggy. Just played our music. Kind of. I like that this is his version of not being pathetic. Right. It's amazing.

It's like at least you got my dignity this time. Yeah, yeah. It's great. Redbird with $2 says this look humiliating. L. O.L. have $2. I don't think it's humiliating.

I think it would have been humiliating if I would have yelled and screamed and shit. That would have been humiliating. I decided not to humiliate it myself today. And just take the L. You got to be strategic about this shit. You yell and scream for 160. That ain't coming. You look like a retard.

Instead, you just go, hey, thank you guys very much for how supportive you've been. the show's in a good place we can take a hundred and forty buck hit once in a while not the end of the world I know that probably a lot of you hate the show that probably bothers you and upsets you greatly and that's part of the reason I do it you do dance to my tune even on the bad days

well hey you know the links to Venmo wait a second he says that type of phrase in those words whenever he's feeling bad about something yes it's exactly what he's feeling right because he says that if he makes the goal we get upset but then when he misses the goal but isn't upset about it we're upset

why would we be upset what we're not this is great i've enjoyed this quite a bit i think it's funny can you start it from the beginning i am enjoying this i know now this this fucking guy can't figure out what is haters hate he knows they're out there hating but he just can't figure out what it is you guys probably hate that i'm missing the goal right now okay sure why not uh brian m we're gonna probably abandon your fucking you better pick me a new song because that was a butt fucking we took today my friend oh it's the song this is the song's fault that he wasn't making any funny he's a miracle isn't he one of the things that we point out on uh this little piggy

he's been doing this new thing where he doesn't talk about the goal throughout the entire show he doesn't use the g word and then at the very end he'll be like all right we need the goal go go go go go go go go give me money and he talks about how he put on a great episode there's no one who was watching it 6.30 a.m., who's then watching a 10.45, but he thinks that these people are just sticking with them for four and a half hours, sometimes five hours this week. And they're just sitting there watching everything and they're like, you know what, that segmented he did on Epstein was actually pretty good. I know it was three and a half hours ago, but maybe I should throw him 20 bucks.

For a guy he was in radio, you think he would understand day parts and stuff and understand drive time and how all of that works. So then a hater comes in. Scarface with $1.99 says eat the butter. Scarface is another guy of broken over the years. He used to be a fan, but he fell in with the wrong crowd. Is that how that works? He's another guy we've broken. No, it's another guy who realized you suck. Yeah. He used to be a fan,

and now he's falling in with the wrong crowd. You mean he's listened to Patrick Melton or this little piggy and went, yeah, you know what? This every guy does suck. And Eric tells him. He doesn't win people over. Eric counts out of the victory. Another win. No, I don't have to do any of that stuff.

I mean, we fucking have been nailing it for a couple of years now and luckily we can just take this. Luckily, these days are just losses now. It's just like, ah, shit, we took an out. It's like losing a pickup game of basketball.

Everything's basketball with him now. How long has he been talking about this thing he doesn't care about? He's going on and on. Oh, and I'm skipping through. This goes on for a lot longer than this. In the day when so-and-so was here, Oh, then he's calling out April

Right there Yeah Back when I had April That overhead She didn't have to buy the Coke How much overhead Because April had been She ate a lot

I know there's a lot of gas Money to go over to her boyfriend's house That was an hour away And fuck him But other than that April shouldn't have been too expensive Yes, of course I'm talking about Corey

Nice misdirect Let's see Okay now they're getting to respond To the Johnny thing Watch how the sentence. Yes, he tried to be funny and it wasn't it at all. Johnny was a... That's how it's.

Oh. It has with him calling out his co-host on the show because he's just like, Johnny sucked today, didn't he? And then the chat was like, yeah, he's not very funny. He's an error's right there to read it all. What a prick. Scarface, April, Johnny, bye. What a prick.

So Wednesday morning starts up. And I'm happy to report. that Aaron is right back to begging because he realized that Tuesday the whole let's not beg at all and let's keep our dignity thing did not work out.

Hey, you guys ready to see some shit. I got a couple of clips for you that are going to make you mad today. All right? I don't like to, but in a lot of cases, if I have to see them, you have to see them.

Oh, also, I'm going to be riding that ass today because we took a hit yesterday. The internet went out last night. this if this show if there's a show that deserves a fucking wild day it's this one six from five hundred be chipping in be chipping in this program has earned it my friends we have i don't feel bad telling you to do that at all there ain't nobody better than what we're doing here uh let's do this next taking a very different approach after missing it by 140 bucks the day before she's like hey assholes give me some fucking money you know you need to give me some goddamn money breaks

which, by the way, was the way that Bwine Mike went about it. Very effective. Yes. It turns out. I'm just confused. Is Aaron fucking me supposed to be a good thing or a bad thing? Is he punishing me?

Is it my reward? It seems to be everything ends up with Aaron fucking me. He doesn't know. Okay. He does not know. But he is desperate for ideas and ways to get people to give him money. And to fuck us. Right.

This is again from This Morning Show. Listen to how, Unvoluted this is. Uh, 93 memberships away from 600. So 507? 93 memberships away from 600. Uh, a hundred and 93 way from 700. Whatever.

Guys, a little heart to heart. Yesterday was a fucking bruising ego beating for the toe. Wait, I thought it was just an L and it didn't matter anymore. Wow. There's some time to process that. I guess he did care. Huh. It's too bad.

I'm sure Johnny wants to hear all of this after that. Today has started out very, very well. I'm here to offer you another half hour on top of that other half hour that you got for hitting 500. If you are a success today and you make up for the not success yesterday and you get us back on a perfect week, I'm going to go till 1130 today. Jesus Christ. Lucky us. Like, no one likes this show.

No one's giving money to it. He's like, oh, you want more? How about I give you more of this crap? No thanks. So there's an extra half hour on top of a bonus half hour. If we hit the goal, but also make up for the day before to make it a perfect week. You follow this? No.

It's like, folks, you are a shitty crowd. I only have time for one more set. Right, yes. There'll be five oncours. you. Baller. That's my offer. But it's got to happen by 10.30. All right. Fair enough. Two and a half hours. And there's not that far to go. So memberships, PayPal, Venmo, super chats, stream labs, whatever you want to do. Let's go insane. It's only going to take about 10 to 20 of you. All right. Go insane. Let's go. Well, if you go insane, it's only going to take one or

two of you, but a little bit at a time it's only going to take about a dozen of you. Let's go crazy. Go insane. Let's go crazy. Make really bad decisions with your credit cards. Just get him out there and just start throwing money at me for no reason.

What a shit head. I do like how many different ways he can say, please give me money, though. It's impressive. I like, no matter how wide he smiles, his eyes always look like he's in front. free fall and the wider he smiles the more different his eyes look like it really shows you that everything he accuses everyone of it's his own stuff all right so yeah i was checking it on

aaron because i'm not doing this little piggy on friday so i wanted to get a quick update on that for you feel good get it out i did see people complaining about the audio in the chat i just realized what i was doing wrong because everything's recording locally correctly but uh there's a setting that happens when i go on drew shell that i should have checked because it fucked up Like, I got this going forward. My apologies, that it was, things were a little quiet. And, of course, Aaron's audio was all fucked up because he had to have you to remove his stupid music. So, uh, that did not help things.

Adam, you were checking in on our buddy, Bill Burr. Of course, Bill Burr has the Monday morning podcast. He puts it out on Monday mornings. And the most recent episode has 14,000 views. And that's when I just checked an hour ago. And if you go back to that. three months on his podcast. His episodes ended 48,000, 39,000, 41,000, 31,000, 43,000.

This has dropped significantly. He's got a third of the audience that he used to have on here. And so he is trying to kill him with kindness, it seems like. He's figured out how life works now, and he's taking it all in stride, but better than that. He's thriving now in this new world because he's learned the secret. of life. It's really impressive what he's been up to.

I did it, or I'm doing it, is what I should say. Because I was joking with my wife today, where I was saying, like, me not being angry is like, I'm two weeks in. I'm like that person that joins a gym January 1st. Like, I'm fucking doing it every day this year, man. And then by February, you know, I'm fucking back to eating cheeseburgers.

But I can't go back. I can't go back. So I'm committed to this, man. It's weird that he recognizes how ridiculous this is. Yeah. But he can't stop himself. He's bragging about this every episode now. He's a calm guy.

He doesn't get mad at anything. Kids are kicking the seat in the back. He's fine with it. It's pretty incredible. I've never heard anybody engaging in any kind of therapeutic mental health treatment being like, I did it. It's done. I won. Yeah.

It's kind of It shows that it's not real The fact that he's celebrating it as he's doing it Like, isn't he, are he supposed to be out of journey? Like he's already got to the destination He has the destination that day one This reminds you of like when Aaron Imel thought he was a narcissist And then he went to a therapist and he goes

Oh, turns out I'm not a narcissist Like that's not how any of this works Doesn't just happen like that No, you don't go to a couple's therapy session And come back and go, we did it It's done Right, right, right, right Now we figured out why we're not having sex anymore

all right cool we're good yeah all right so where are we going from here well he's doing so well that he decides to celebrate the way every american does uh took one of my kiddos to Disneyland and uh I don't think I was my one of my favorite days as a dad I was walking around the park going like wait am I a Disney dad am I actually enjoying this and there was so much stuff that like I don't know now that I'm on the other side of this shit and I'm just saying that because I know there's a lot of angry people that listen to this podcast it's how you gravitated here you can get out of it I don't know

it took me for fucking ever but there was so much shit that normally would have like pissed me off and I was able to just glide through it and just see the absurdity of it and laugh at it he's talking like a born again yeah he's on the other side of it

like he's like transformed his life somehow so there's no one day at a time for this he's like I am I'm new You know what else is funny about that? If you think about what he's saying, he's like, I went to an amusement park and had fun. Normally I would have been murdering people. It's like an amusement park.

You're supposed to have fun there. It should be kind of a good time. That's why it's so goddamn expensive. He's also talking in this way that implies he hates that person he used to be. And I don't think that's part of the journey is that you hate that guy and anyone like him. We also is doing a Howard Stern thing where he hates his audience. That's them. Yeah.

Yeah, because he's going, I know you're angry. That's why you gravitated towards me in the first place. He's trying to get rid of those people. You know, just like how Howard wanted to get rid of all those homophobes and racists that used to listen to his show. And so now he's like, I just want Midwestern housewives. I think Bill's looking for a similar audience over here. Which granted, Bill has to understand that you spent your entire career making fun of people that blindly went to Disneyland and bought into this capitalist thing and spent their money. You thought they were deluding themselves and fooling everyone.

What is this now, then? But this next one, it's crazy. He's crazy. And I had, like, I know it's crazy. I don't like fucking roller coasters. Like, I'm one of those people, like, I make weird faces and my stomach drops, and I just don't fucking like it. And now that I have, like, learned, like, how to breathe from my diaphragm, I actually was, like, super calm. And as we were going down the first big drop, I just inhaled into my diaphragm, and my stomach didn't drop at all.

And it was actually kind of enjoyable. And I was like, oh, I was doing the fight of flight and the top of my chest. like this is the worst this is crazy he's doing breathing exercises on a roller coaster could you imagine what his daughter's thinking he's probably going around like isn't this great then we have the best time she's just like you suck I never want to go to the music park with you again

I like when I got to do the roller coasters by myself you're right yeah she's like oh you're doing this not with me god damn it dad and you're having fun go away it's too much are you supposed to be on a roller coaster thinking this is nice no supposed to freak out a little bit

a little bit yeah he's all zen enjoy those feelings well he has a Bill has a reaction to Trump's tweet about Rob Reiner's death I have to be honest with you like that fucking comment

for me is enough to be like this person should be removed and whoever's next in line should be stuck in. The same way, like, you know, just before all you fucking lunatics get all your butt hurt, get your red panties in a bunch. Sounds angry. It sounds angry to me.

Yeah, yeah, what just happened right there? Let me tell you about this fucking Trump guy. Get this asshole out of the office. He's a prick. Deep breath, Bill, deep breath. Yeah, right. Into the nose, fall through the mouth. We're going to get through this, buddy.

Remember, happy times. rainbows. Diarram. Right. Unfortunately, he cannot hide it. And this next email, I want you to watch closely to what happens here. He gets an email saying from a gentleman who says he sold his business and because of that, he lost a lot of his friends, especially the ones that worked for him. I mentioned that several friends of ours think that selling my business was a decision made out of greed and that I'm going to turn into a capitalist hack. you go right in the next one okay the main criticism is that my is that the family i sold my business to is likely to lay off a few employees fair criticism okay this guy's writing into bill

burr with this yeah i mean this doesn't seem real to me no i don't think it is i i can't imagine this because you imagine you sell your business off and then you're like yeah you know uh my family or my friends are mad at me because uh they think i'm a capitalist like you think bill's going to be like, ah, there, there, buddy. Give you a pat on the back. No, no, no, no. They just don't understand how business works. People get laid off sometimes.

Maybe they'll land on their feet. Not only is my business, none of their business. They're not even correct in their criticism. Hey, guess who knows what that's like? Guess who knows what the fuck they had? Let me guess. They created their own narrative. And they weren't even fucking there and they don't have access to any of the information.

And rather than just asking you about their concerns, gee, what is that like? Dude, this is. I don't give a fuck what business you're in. This is how it goes down. I get it now. He's still complaining about the Riyadh Comedy Festival. I was wondering where this fake email was going.

Right. But this is what's crazy about all of this. Bill, tell us your side of the story. We're all waiting for it. We're all wondering what justifies this. Because he's like, I can't talk about it. But if I could, oh, I would say some shit to Mark Merrin. If only I could, it's like, do it.

What are you waiting for? It's your show and you're trying. trying to get fired. So go ahead and say whatever it is what we want to say. I don't think he has a good justification. I think that's what it comes down to. I think you're right. It goes back to when Bill O'Reilly was fired from Fox

because he was trying to fuck all the women that were coming on his show. And he goes, well, wait until I get on my own podcast. And that I'll tell you guys what really happened. Never talked about it again. It's pretty easy to just be like, guys, there's a really good explanation for this. And one day, I'm going to tell you all of it. Then you never have to do it. It's great.

Turns out his therapist told him it was best to just leave that in the past, not dwell on. Right, yeah, yeah. That's a good idea. Stuff it inside. And put food on it. So now he starts to, this is how Bill would respond. This is how he'd handle it. Okay, good.

What I would do with these people is just say, you know, I got to, can I talk to you for a second? It's come to my attention that possibly the fact that I sold my company has rubbed you the wrong way. Is there any truth to that? That's how you go about it. You don't go, hey, I heard you been fucking talking shit about me. You're fucking piece of shit. By the way, I always thought your wife was ugly. That's not how you go with.

That's not how you can drop in. I mean, you could do that, but we all know how that's going to end. That's November, Bilber. This is December, December, Bilber. It all things very differently. Sounded very familiar like some people we know. Yeah. Very specific.

Mm-hmm. All right. Keeps going. And then what you do is, you don't cut them out of your life. That's just a lot of energy. And by cutting them out of my, you know, their life, I mean, like, if they're neighbors of yours, you can still say hello. You can be cordial. But like, hey, they invite you over the game.

You're like, yeah, no, I'm good. I'm good. Thank you, though. I appreciate the invite. So you do cut them out of your life, but passive aggressively. Yes. I see. And you become a phony.

Right. Like the kind of person he used to hate. that live next door to him. That makes perfect sense. Did you hear his little slip up there? What was that? Play it one more time. Okay.

And then what you do is, you don't cut them out of your life. That's just a lot of energy. And by cutting them out of my, you know, their life, their life. Cutting them out of my,

their life. Yeah, he never got it right. And there it is. Come on. Come on. He can't even pretend he's not talking about himself.

I think this person sent this mail in because they knew it would get past the censors, and it would fuck with him. I think somebody... That's a well-done question. Because it brings up all of those issues without ever referring to that. And like you said, who's asking Bill his advice on this? Also, Bill had a meeting with Anthony, where he explained that I can't work with you anymore,

and he caught Anthony out of his life. And he was very direct about it. He wasn't past him. He was just like, hey, you want to come on the show? He's the guy, I can't do it this month. He didn't do the advice he just gave. I'm good. I'm good.

Yeah, he didn't do that. If it was farther than two weeks ago, that's not the bill we're dealing with now. That's a different person. That's a good point. Okay. So he's learned from that. So if you have any kind of success, Bill's going to let you know what you have in store for you from your friends. If they're adults, they'll in their head be like, you know what?

He doesn't want to hang with me anymore because I talk shit and I fuck the relationship up. That's what an adult does. What most people do who think they're adults will then just create some sort of. sort of narrative in their fucking head that you're the dick um i i you know this is a great story for everybody who's on the podcast to listen to because this is um yeah what kind of advice show is this i'm not even sure we're accomplishing it with any of this advice it's his own therapy he gets right to that point of self-realization and then backs down everybody else should listen to this because uh uh uh uh

Yeah. He can't get there. He can't take responsibility. If they're adults, they will cave, apologize, come to you, say we were wrong, and we understand you are a dick because we were wrong. That's what adults he says to do. And they don't see the error of their ways and realize that maybe they're the ones at fault. But Bill can't do that.

Right, exactly. Bill knows everyone else's fault that they've abandoned him and don't want to do his show anymore. Yeah, and he gets into some real Mr. Burns shit here. Are you going to see him live? Is that this weekend? I hope so it's supposed to be it's this week I hope we're going I really do It is very sold out

Tickets are very expensive And it's a smaller yet very big venue So I'm What do you mean smaller big venue What are you talking about? For him it's smaller And for me I'm like shit Comedy's in here this is crazy It's a big venue

It's not a stadium For him this is trying up material In an out of the way place For most comics it's a fucking big gig Is it a stub hub thing You're able to get to Right? Well, fine. They're just expensive. Yeah. Okay. Do you need to get them approved with the boss, or? We got to talk to HR first, and we're just trying to, we're going to get him the day of.

I thought to Christian Blad about this yesterday. I thought we were, I thought the green light was given, but. I thought so, too, but Chris needs a lot of encouragement and needs a lot of handholding. He needs a lot of support here. Fair enough. Are we going to the next clip? Yeah. Here's what happens when your friends make money. Most likely they're projecting. That's something else that I learned that I am a projecting motherfucker I had no idea like I literally had no I like any and I was really sensitive and if anybody said anything I just played out a scenario from my child well if this fucking person did that I don't even know this person that I would just fucking worst case possible scenario and I was doing it all the time and then it was like it happened and then I was walking around

talking to myself like a crazy person in the street about why what I was going to say when this person did this thing that they didn't even fucking do. Insane. All right. So Bill's recognizes anger issues over the years, and it's good to see. But also, he's been doing an advice show for over a decade now, where people write in questions, and he answers them. Wouldn't you think, like, oh, shit, if I was getting it wrong for over 10 years, is it possible I'm still getting it wrong now?

Maybe I shouldn't be dishing out advice to people? Yeah, and know if I was at least some of that. That's what I would think. But he's just like, ah, don't listen to anything I've said my entire life. But now, these last week and a half, I got it all figured out. And you could listen to me. Also, he's talking about how much he evolved from that young person that was angry and obsessed and ran things over his head and felt all this anger towards them and would talk to himself alone like an insane person. Yeah.

Bill, look at yourself. you're alone in a room by yourself talking about the same shit whatever angle you're talking about it whether you're an alcoholic who's drunk talking about it or you're sober and you're still just talking about alcohol all the time this is the same thing you're doing

this is not progress and you sound really angry about it this is his therapy too this podcast going to therapy this is where he gives us therapy this is supposed to be our therapy yeah he's got it all figured out sir or ma'am yeah they're just fucking cunts you know you want to find out if you have friends or not be successful be successful and then you'll find out who your friends are and then what's funny

is they'll say you changed oh that's rich that's rich is he still answering an email or he's just going off i don't know but that's like uh everybody's so different i haven't changed sure why I'm like holy shit Bell you really don't recognize that we're going to find out that he's going to the same therapist that Howard Stern goes to because not really it's just

no I know I don't you mean what's the explanation for this now he's out to dinner with his lovely wife at their favorite restaurant and this happened anyway we went to go pay the check and they said the check was picked up by the guys in the band explosions in the sky so I've never

met them and they did it like they just did it and left, like fucking James Bond style, beyond cool. So thank you to the guys in the band from me and my wife. That was super fucking nice. And I didn't get a chance to thank you, like the fucking Lone Ranger. So I got to do it on the podcast. You know?

Okay, Bill. Why didn't you listen to their music? Right. Don't you think that's what they wanted? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe promote them a little bit, play a little sample or something. Just listen you personally. They're actually doing quite well.

They're a very successful band. But don't you think they left because they didn't want to be a fan? They just wanted you to listen to it. And you're a drummer, Bill. You're a musician. If you listen to this guy, this band for five seconds, you would fall in love with their drummer and seek him out and want to take lessons from him. You're like this royal king who can't even understand what other artists want from him.

Do you want to hear some? I do. they're awesome they're awesome yeah they're fun bad tremendous yeah well bill got free meal which is good he deserves it he really needed that one him and his wife so that's good news yeah uh anything else from uh this episode do you want to play can you tell me what the fuck he's talking about in number 17 uh all right sold my business and lost my friends oh by the way any backstores you guys have on these these uh that type of stuff um I love hearing

I don't know I don't know what it because I love all of those things so knowing any sort of more information about like what actually happened like who's that guy now you know

the rest of the story do you want to just be friends with the fucking guy what do you mean more information just want to have a phone call with them about it backstory the backstory on this

he owned a business he sold it people are pissed because the new owners are going to lay people off and it's an analogy for your life. Yeah, what else you do you think? And they're lightly trolling you.

What more do you need to see? What else do you want from this guy? Check out the next one. He does the same thing here, and I don't know what he means. And I got all this new material about undoing all of this shit, and it's been fun. And I've had people coming up to me, but I'm like, hey, man, thanks for talking about that. So that makes me feel good. By the way, I apologize for the sound here.

I can't find my fucking microphone. That wasn't what I set up, but it makes me. perfect sense. That's fine. No, I'm actually excited for you to see his stand-up because it sounds like this is also a therapy session now. He's coming up and telling you how to live your life. He's telling you how he's fixed his life now.

This can't possibly be funny. Well, if the first act is his regular act and then the second half is this new stuff, how does Billy Joel play piano for the first half and then talk about how the piano is evil for the second half? How did these two things work together? I don't understand. I hit, well, I mean, Billy Joel did turn on pop music for a little while, so I could see him being like, this is all that bullshit.

He turned his back forever. He didn't write another fucking song. Yeah, that's true. But you're not allowed to bring your phone, so we will bring legal pads and number two pencils and write this down for everyone. I heard pencils are going extinct. Oh, really? Yeah, so get those.

Shit. Get those quickly. Anything else that you want to play from this? No, nothing at all. All right. So that's Bill Burr. He's going on a journey right now. He is learning what it is.

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Please play responsibly. All right, let's get into some Howard Stern stuff. So Howard said Tuesday morning he's going to make an announcement of what's going on because his contract is up at the end of this year. And this is actually his last week. I think today was his last show of the year. So people want to know there was a lot of speculation back in August. These articles came out that said that Sirius is done with Howard.

And basically what the article said, because Howard kind of changes it. we're going to hear in some of these clips. The article said that Sirius was willing to renew him, but they're going to be nowhere near the right number for what Howard needs to re-sign. And people misinterpreted that and said Howard's got fired or is getting fired, which is not what any of the article said. It just said that insiders know about the negotiations

and that they're nowhere near close to a deal. Sirius is not going to pay Howard the kind of money that he wants to keep him on. And my thought was, why the fuck would series keep Howard on when no one's listening to him? It's not driving any sales for the company at all. The company is focused on podcasts now and they're doing smart lists and call her daddy and they're trying to get exclusive rights to other big names that are actually growing and not dinosaurs that are shrinking. Howard, 71 years old. It's going to be 72 next month. It's like, yeah, it's time to hang it up or go do a day.

David Letterman thing, get a deal with Netflix or HBO Max and do some interview shows or something like that. So Howard comes on his show yesterday morning and starts talking up the big announcement. It's just either, well, look, it's either going to be a happy announcement, hey, we're coming back, or a sad announcement. You know, hey, it's time for me to retire. Now that's odd because I played a clip last week on this show where Howard said he had deal in place with other entertainment

companies. And now he's saying it's either going to be happy or sad. I'm either going away or renewing with Sirius. Those are the only options? Because even when he came back in September, he's like, I'm talking to other streaming services and we got a lot of things that we could be doing. And then we heard the show and it really

was sad. Yes, it was sad, unfortunately. But it's odd that he's setting this up now where it's like there's only two options. I stay with Sirius or I retire. Oh. As of last week, you were saying very different things with deals that sound like they were done deals he did say that he had deals and that was a thing you and i were both saying like why didn't rob it ask a follow-up to that

but uh he decides he's going to announce whether he's renewed the contract or not and he does it with exactly zero creativity you know there was a discussion how i should make the announcement if you remember five years ago when i signed a contract we had marianne open up a cake or something i forget it was like a baby reveal gender reveal yeah but um i didn't want any of that nonsense because um you know we did it already you're too old for nonsense yeah i didn't want to do anything fun or creative or interesting because uh my staff doesn't do that that's not what they're good at back there they just look at me blankly when i say hey what do we do on the show today uh we're opening a cake so robin sounds like she's just like floating around like randomly spouting out

sentences like that's funny it's a baby no one can talk on the show anymore yeah I know they're past the prime for sure so Howard has an idea you know you got this big staff that works for him and they're in the dark on this they don't know what's going to happen what the announcement's going to be so here's a fun idea you know some of the staff said can we come in and guess

oh yeah there was even a poll taken for this No, I mean, I think people generally working here are just hoping I stay because, look, this is people's livelihoods. Yes. I thought this was the craziest part. Howard is saying that none of his staff knows whether he's going to renew or not. And so as of January 1st, they might be out of the job. And we're talking about, it's reported like 60, 70 people working in the back office at Howard Stern.

It sounds outrageous, but it's dozens of people. And Howard's saying, oh, maybe we can have that many. here and they can take guesses at whether or not they're going to be employed come January. Let's see if they're going to be able to pay their mortgage in February. Why do they come on in here? Well, they can ask us some questions to predict what they think is going to happen.

I want to answer those questions, but... Right, yeah, yeah. I would just tease them and go, yeah, wouldn't it suck if you couldn't pay your mortgage anymore? I'd like to hear what your plan B's are. And it's fucked up because nothing on the Howard Stern show is real. So I hear that and I go, everyone in the back office knows,

right? So I reach out to shooley about this because shooley's been through this before like is it true that the staff doesn't know whether or not howard signed a new contract and he goes yeah i mean the gary and will and robin fred you know these people know but for the most part the staff does not know and he goes i used to ask gary every time a contract was up and gary would have to play like yeah we don't know so they do keep the staff in the dark which is really fucked up this is the thing that opi used to do to the staff at Opie and Anthony that Anthony is called out and, uh, you know, E. Rock is in the chat right now. Eric Nagel, we'll talk about this too where it's like, what the fuck you're

fucking with people. And it's very stressful to not know if you're going to have a job or not because the guy is holding out and not letting you know what's happening with the negotiations. And he's toyed with them. Yeah. It sounds like he's amused by it. Yeah, he loves it. Well, Opie did it because he had no other way to gain responsibility. respect from his staff, why is Howard doing it? Why is Howard doing it? I think, or I'm going to guess, that while the quality of his comedy has gone down, his negotiating and his business side, I mean, no one would ever dream that he would still have this deal this many years later. Like, it's insane.

He's won this part of his life. The business side is a home run even now. And I guess that's just a part of that negotiation. It's pretending I have other gigs ready to go. Let him check. Maybe he even does have a deal with HBO sitting there and not let his staff know because they're going to leak. You can't trust any of them. It's worth it to let Sal go to make that money when I can hire four more Sal's.

Right. All right. That's an interesting theory. It's cruel and punishing, but it's a theory. Yeah, it's brutal. And I'm sure we'll talk to staff members after the show finally does dissolve and get their take on what it's like. Because I really didn't think series are going to resign them. I have some theories.

We'll talk about that. but Robin gets lost in this conversation. Howard's thanking the listeners and he's going, you know, you guys pay to listen to me now. We appreciate the support. It's so amazing. And Robin just starts talking about the sponsors for some reason

and listen to even Howard just like, wait, what's going on? The show is really paid for by the listeners. The people who love this show pay for it. The one thing you didn't pay homage to when you were talking about, you know, talking about how much NBC, WNBC disliked you and never thought you were a good disc jockey.

You were always a great salesperson. Nobody ever complained about the commercials. Right. There you go. Robin, just another one of my wonderful attributes. But our sponsors have been loyal and wonderful. They've been amazing over the years. Yes.

yes they have great great folks so we we have a lot to be thankful for I don't think Rob is paying attention at all he's talking about the listeners paying for it and she's like yeah how about those sponsors huh they're pretty loyal yeah yeah they're great it's uh that's that's what I was talking about sure granny granny doesn't talk much anymore so when she does we just like to be supportive yeah yeah yeah that's a great point rob but thanks thanks for chiming in on that by the way thank you to band practice guy uh my christmas gift this year the education of robin he sent this to uh me in the mail and you can send me stuff in the mail too who are these dot com and find our p o box number has sent me

ridiculous things but uh robin beat cancer with veganism and you can too uh all right so now we take phone calls of course this is the thing that howard does he's constantly going to the phones and the phone calls are fake and I'll explain why after this. Say hi. Before I make my big announcement, Brian, what do you think the announcement will be? Brian's in St. Louis, one of our fans. And what do you think?

Howard, I got to say, I am such a big fan. And as much as you've earned your retirement, I just got to say, we fucking love you out here, man. And we're just begging that you do another five years. Thank you. Who calls in with something like that? He takes the most boring phone calls. Hey, Brian, what do you got for us?

man, it'd be cool if he didn't retire. Thanks, Brian. Thanks for calling it. This is not the Howard Surge show. Who's screened these phone calls? What do you want to say to Howard? I just want to tell him that I hope he doesn't retire. Great.

You're on next. I waited all day, but it was worth it. Yeah, be ready for this. Really good audio, almost like he was in the building. Yeah. Good point. Who would sit on hold to just be like, hey, Howard, we love you. Cool.

Thanks. So now Howard starts talking about all the information that leaked back in August, and he explains what was really going on. And then I got really ticked off during the summer when the press was somehow creating a story that Sirius wanted me out of here. Well, the truth is, it was me, was the problem with this contract. All right, I'm going to make the announcement now.

Here, let me just prepare Marianne, because she's probably having a connoissement. All right, Marianne, I'm going to do the announcement now. All right, so then he brings out Marianne from Brooklyn, which is just obnoxious. it's just her screaming and Fred hitting monkey sound drops and yeah it's just that over and over again so yeah Howard says like I was the problem in that like that's what the article said

was that they were willing to resign you and it wasn't going to be enough money did Howard not read these articles because I think that what his PR team put out backfired and then all of a sudden that they reached out to other people at serious and talked to them about it they're like yeah yeah we're worried to work with Howard. So now he's trying to act like, guys, I was the one who was holding all the cards back there, and I really let them know

what I needed in order to come back. That's the way he's trying to frame this thing. I'm not buying it at all. The problem really was me. It wasn't a case of serious trying to push me out the door. Quite frankly, they were like, hey, whatever you want to do, we'll accommodate. We'll figure out a way. Let's, you know, let's

keep this going. And I said, well, I need time to think, and I don't know exactly what I want. Blah, blah, blah, blah. Anyway. So there was a whole bunch of back and forth And, and, you know, I don't know. And I apologize that there's so much back and forth And like right up until the end again, right up Right up until the Christmas break, we come up with another

Right to the wall Cliffhanger. But it was a hard decision for me, honestly. Okay. So Howard's trying to say, Sirius is begging him to say on it. Howard's going, you've got to meet some demands for me because I need more free time, any more flexion.

I also don't know what those demands are. I'll get back to you. Yeah, I'll get back to you. But we're going to negotiate real hard. We start negotiating. And let's not figure out until my last week of the air this year. She didn't tell me. I didn't know what I wanted.

I didn't know what I wanted. I didn't know what I wanted. Right. Yes. So he goes on to explain, you know, it's all about having free time. He wants more time with Beth. This is a guy who worked 100 days last year. He had 100 live shows.

I make fun of teachers For the amount of time they get off They work more than Howard Stern does By a lot, actually He is always thinking about the show, Carl He's always working on it He's always working, sure. Why not?

So then it turns out The reason why he did sign with Sirius Was out of spite So I was really torn up And then when the reports came out over the summer That Sirius was kicking me out I was like, fuck you now I got to go

re-sign a bigger contract and everything and they're ruining everything by saying these things that are just not true so he hasn't even made the announcement yet I mean everyone knows what the announcement is going to be but he's already saying like

and then I see these things that say that they don't even want me and no one cares if I have a show over there anymore and I'm like well then I'm going to sign the biggest contract that anyone's ever seen that's how you live your life okay somewhere Aaron Imholt is like I knew it I knew spite would win

I'm not buying it I don't think that's true I don't think that's how it works. But then Edwards realizing, after he said, like, I'm just signing this out of spite because, you know, you guys said that they didn't want me anymore, and I'm proving you're wrong. He goes, oh, shit, you should probably say that I actually like doing the show, and it's a really good show. That's why I'm doing it.

And by the way, on the other hand, I still do love being on the radio. I think the show is better than ever. I really do. I believe that in my heart, and I've been on the radio for how many years? It might be 48, might be 50. We don't know. One day we're going to figure out. How would I agree with you?

Of course you do, Mary. The show has never been better This guy came back from summer break And decided I'm going to stop talking about politics Changed his show format As recently as September And it's trying to tell us that the show has never been better The show has fallen off a cliff

And everyone knows it And no one's listening And when they said that he was fired Everyone was celebrating that But all right Let's get ready for the big announcement Because he course He drags it out

This goes on for a while he starts talking about the Golden Globes or giving out best podcast awards and how he wouldn't even want to be nominated because God forbid he lose to Amy Poehler and how embarrassing that would be and he would hate it. He calls out call her daddy

which he says is call him daddy or call me daddy or forget what he calls it. He'll never say her name. No, he doesn't say Alex Cooper for some reason even though she works with him. It's serious. For some reason. He calls out Smartless Deck Shepard. He calls out NPR. A punch.

He's like, there's no way I should be in a category with these people. So he doesn't have a podcast. I don't even know why this is a discussion. It goes out of that about that. I played it when I was on Drew's show yesterday. We played a bunch of clips of that. But here we go. Here's the big announcement.

All right. So here's the announcement. I'm happy to announce that I figured out a way to have it all. More free time and continuing to be on the radio. So yes, we are coming back. for three years. The announcement... Really good idea.

On the phone and the phone. Good stuff. So there's the big announcement. He signed for three more years because he found the right balance. He's going to get in the free time. He's going to get some more flexibility. but he also gets to do his show for his audience

which is very important to him and of course nobody on the staff knew this which is why this production piece was ready to go so I'll tell you this we are continuing on the contract was fair

I've signed a deal the staff is happy because without him they'd be homeless I fucked up I should save some money oh holy shit he's making everybody's When he's dead

I hate death He can finally rest Oh no no no no not again Not again When he's dead Is that what this looks at? So am I to believe That they create two versions of that

They tell the production team Like here's one for if he doesn't resign Here's one if he does So they're all in the dark at it Goodbye to Howard's turn show Yeah right We're all homeless now E. Rock says he accidentally revealed they pre-record on the weekend and afternoons most of the show.

Now, I played a clip where he caught himself saying, I can't be here all afternoon or all morning, J.D. Is that what you're referring to, Eric, or is there something else that he revealed that they're pre-recording these shows? Because, yes, I believe that to be true. Why would he do that? What's the benefit of doing it on the weekends as opposed to weekdays? His schedule is his own? Because he doesn't want to get up in the morning and do the show. He wants to do it in the afternoon.

Oh, I get it. Okay. That makes sense. Yeah. It's so weird. I wonder if Beth is upset or happy about this. I can't tell. Oh, I bet she's very happy about this.

So, yeah, let's talk about this new schedule that Howard has. I was able to create Robin a more flexible schedule. And so we'll be back. I know you and I have talked about this privately, Robin, even though you're pretending you didn't know the announcement. But I did check with my Robin to see that she was up for it as well because if Robin was enough for it, then I wasn't going to do it. Hey, Robin, you want to phone it in for three more years for a few million bucks?

I guess. Sounds all right. That's right. What is she going to say? She got better things to do? Of course, she's going to say yes to that. So this is the worst bit of the morning when he's doing the show. He comes up with these silly names.

And remember, there are writers on the show. Dozens of them. He talks about it all the time. I want to thank Robin, Fred, Gary, and especially, of course, Robin, I know you join me in thanking Willie Fistagash and Herb Eversmells. And also, you, Jassol, of course. They were instrumental. Especially the people who work with us, Lusainis, I want to thank. and Mike Hawke.

Mike Hawke. And there's so many people to thank. Bear with me, Anita Handjob, Lou Bup. Who else, Robin? Lou Bup, who's seeing Robin socially. And, oh, U.G. Rection. U.G. Rection, we want to thank for this. That common last name of Rection.

Well, I want to think, I want to think. Are they related to the hand jobs? Yeah, they came over on the boat together. It's so childish. Not since season two of the Simpsons. I've heard more silly fake names. I want to thank Ben Dover and Blow Me, the law firm. Robin, sweetie.

You're giggling at Ben Dover. And I want to thank Jack Kinoff, Jack Kinoff. and Jack Kinoff. No, but I want to thank I do want to thank the entire crew that works here on and off air. This is insane. Like, everyone's trying to get fired on this show.

But he said the show's better than ever. It's been better than ever. These are the phony names like maybe in the late 80s, early 90s. You'd get away with this kind of shit? When was that call in the bar owner tape circulating? Like, it's right.

He's not here. It's that old, but those names were better than these. Like, the idea of doing a name bit is so hacky. They couldn't come up with anything new, anything that hasn't been in a joke book for years. These writers are garbage. And I said this before, but anyone who's trying to find a job, if they leave the Stern show or Howard retires, and they put Howard Stern writer on their resume, who would want to hire that? Like, oh, what were some of the bits you came up with?

Well, I had three of the names in the silly name segment when Howard announced that he was renewing for three years. Cool. Were you my cock or my crutch? Which one? Right. My cock. God damn, it's so old this shit.

So let's get Gary's reaction. Gary was not ready for this. There's a lot of excitement. Now, Gary, are you happy to hear that we are coming back? Gary. Gary, you there, buddy? Here is Baba Booie. Yeah, let me...

Gary, you there? Here he is. There he is. Look at Bobaboo. Skinny. I'm thrilled. I'm thrilled. You're thrilled. I feel like when you think of an athlete who's played for the same team as whole life, I feel like I will be able to go out having played for one team my entire life, the greatest team in the world. So am I to believe that if Howard retired, Gary would go produce a different radio show? Oh, yeah. Yeah. I'm pretty sure Gary's also retiring at that point. And he's actually like, phew, thank God. find another gig now. He's been in talks with Stephanie Miller. Maybe, yeah. It's likely true. All right. So now

let's get the reaction from the staff. What is the reaction back there among the staff? So it was immediate applause. And then everybody's just, you know, I think everyone's very happy, but it was immediate. As soon as you said, I'm coming back, it was like NASA, you know, papers in the air, people

clapping. These people are losers. Get back to work. These people should have been out of there years ago this is a sinking ship this is no is it a good gig maybe i don't know what they're paying these people i would imagine they're all getting pay cuts because he's getting more flexibility right so how many days a week how many days a year are these people even working and then are they allowed to do side gigs because for a long time they would get a lot of shit you know like sam wood richard were trying to do stand-up shows and trying to do different things on the road you had the block parties

back in the day ronnie's block party and all these different things and how we're going to give everyone shit for trying to have a side hustle. I was like, well, we work 100 days out of the year. Can I do some stuff to maybe make some more money? So then it's like, all right, let's bring in the staff. Let's talk to these losers, one-on-wide. Let's go to a couple of fans who are excited to hear about this, but also bring in a couple of people from the staff who might be excited.

Yeah, we would love to anybody disappointed? Anybody leave? And now maybe some of you can begin writing material again. for the show. I heard you were selling it off to, Chris, you must be excited, and I'm excited. That was interesting. Yeah. Howard, a little passive-aggressive.

Remember, it was posted in page six that someone, unknown, from the staff said, yeah, we're saving our good jokes for when we set our podcast after this thing is over with. So Howard doesn't forget that. You guys are going to start writing those jokes for me now, when we're back on? This is the last clip I have, but this is more about his flexibility, hints at what this new contract is going to be. when you get to a certain point in life and you've been hustling your whole life, you do want some time to just like just literally walk around in your bathrobe with your balls hanging out and pull a Rodney Dangerfield.

You can do that. You know what I mean? Yeah, I mean, yeah, so anyway, my point is the contract's going to give me a lot of flexibility and I'll explain all that bullshit. But the fact is we're back. That's the announcement. We're back. We're back.

So let me translate this. I saw Eric Nagel in the chat earlier with a similar sense. sentiment that what's really happening here is that series is like, Howard can't pay you the money we used to pay you. You don't have the listeners. You're not bringing in subscribers anymore. So here's what we can give you. So Howard's only place to negotiate from is,

can I get more time off then? Right. Can I just like work a bunch less? They're like, yeah, because they don't care about the Howard Stern show being on the radio. They want the Howard Stern name when they're giving their sales presentations. to Honda or Toyota and like you got to put serious XM radios in the car still like we do I don't know everyone just listens to their phone they just have car play and stuff like no no no no they

can't get Howard Stern without serious X-7 we have Howard Stern we have smart list we have he's just a number of people they list now and so the name is worth it to him to some degree so they still have that notoriety or the exclusive place to get Howard Stern but the show they don't give a fuck about no they don't and I think a part of of it is also it's like a jenga they think once that name is removed from serious or that press comes out it'll just start this crumble since that was the pillar that started it'll just see as they're failing the stock will dip everyone will panic it'll be like when coke changes and has to change back really fast they don't want to regret that and it's not about the show it's just about

that right yeah there's not an executive who wants to be the one who lost Howard stern in case right something like that were to happen so so he re-signed and we don't know what the deal is we don't know what the terms are. I think Howard saves face here because it looks like he's still relevant and still has power. Still has power. I mean, I wouldn't be surprised if, I'm sure, because of how he's managed, I'm sure they went out to Netflix and HBO and Amazon and negotiated and talked about potential

other deals and probably saw way less money for those. They're just like, yeah, we've tried this with other washed up has been. It's not really the direction we're going in right now. I think he gets one, I think he gets one good deal when he leaves. If he can say he went from serious to whatever this is, to Fubu or whatever they're going to call it, he'll have that. But after that, yeah, that's when people are going to start actually listening and watching the show.

This is how Howard put the announcement out on social media. So this is with the video element. I'm happy to announce that I figured out a way to have it all. So yes, we are coming back for three years. The announcement is that we're going to be partnering with Sirius XM and continue to entertain for the next three years. I want to thank Robin, Fred, Gary, and especially, of course, Robin, I know you join me in thanking Willie Fistagash and Hugh Jass Hall, Lou Sainess, I want to thank. Mike, Hawk. Gary, what is the reaction back there among the staff?

So it was immediate applause. As soon as you said, I'm coming back, it was like NASA, you know, with papers in the air, people clapping. We're back. That's the announcement. We're back. Three more years with Sirius XM. And I'm excited about it because, you know what?

I do still love radio. And he's not even facing the camera. Badass. Kind of a broadcaster is Howard Stern. Never see. I'm sitting like that with his leg up. Oh, my gosh. He's not getting the.

advice from Suthering John that he needs, unfortunately. So, yep, we still have our CERN in rotation here on WATP. Very exciting that they're going to keep this thing going for three more years for some reason. And I looked it up. So he did 100 shows in 2025. I guess the speaking report he's going to do about 75 in the coming years. Now, that's flexible.

75 shows. That's six episodes per month. Just start a podcast. You know what I mean? We do more than that. Oh, yeah. We do more than 75 episodes a year. It's just like, yeah, it's pretty easy, Howard.

Just do a couple a week whenever you want to. It's great. Does he still say he hates podcasts? Yes. Wow. Yes. Yeah, he's not even in the studio to thank the staff. No.

He just, hey, I just want to thank all the people back there and I'll say some silly names. And instead of who's actually helping me out. All right. Let's check in on the Obster. Adam, for the man, on the Monday morning, he has his new co-host, Tony Pee. I think Tony P is still auditioning to be the co-host on the show. He's still finding his footing, figuring out what his attitude is.

going to be, but he's gung-ho about it, and they all, they are falling in love fast. Oh, good. Mm-hmm. I'm glad to hear that, because Opie needs friends. He does. And it seems like Ron the waiter introduced Tony P. To Opie, right? They're buddies who do those stand-up shows together.

Yeah, and Tony P. would be in some of those Gephart's episodes. You know, he'd be in the back. He'd talk some shit. Okay. So where we start off? We're going to start off with number three, where Opie has a million-dollar idea for Amazon, if only they'd listen. That's insane.

Could you wrap this stuff? 4B2, that would be the next thing. If Amazon, you want us to wrap your gift for you, an extra charge, whatever the charge is. Amazon, are you listening? I'm brilliant. I have it already. You want to make even more money, Amazon?

This is what you do for us, people that have families and we're trying to get our Krisby shot. You're not listening. Hold on, Tony. You got a little button. And you push that button. You say, yes, wrap my gifts. Oh, my God. You want to talk about a revenue stream. That already exists.

It already exists on Amazon. It says, is this a gift, and you can put yes, and they'll wrap it for you, and they'll even fill out the card. Oh, I'm sorry. Are you getting me back because you can't have kids? Is that what's happening? Yeah, that's what the fuck happening, man. Whoa. Sorry.

Wow. As Opie's yelling, why aren't you listening to me? He's literally not listening to Tony telling him that exists. Shut up. You sound stupid. And then he went for the jug dealer. Right. Yeah.

So then he did a stuttering John move. Drink bleach. Wow. yeah Opie was so sure of himself with that too did you imagine him in a board meeting where he's like he's like the executive at Nike we should make sneakers people can play basketball

and we'll say that makes you jump higher and run faster and I was just like we do that Opie sit down we have basketball sneakers shut up wait quiet everybody Carl's got an idea for a catchphrase just do it I get it

I see what you did there thank you All right. The only thing worse than this is Opie interviewing this guy. He is the worst interviewer on the planet. Watch this. Are you the sad couple that has no kids? Or are you happy with you?

We're supposed to have kids, but we didn't. All right. Why am I going down that road? There was tragedy. You want to make my life miserable. I'm sorry. Tony, for real, I'm taking that back. I'm sorry.

I was trying to go for some humor. And I realized that you actually had a tragedy. You and your wife were trying to have kids. It just didn't work. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. He was going for humor. Are you the sad couple with no kids?

Hilarious. Good stuff. Good stuff. Oh, and then he should have known that Tony wanted to have kids and couldn't. And is he sorry? No. He's embarrassed. Yep. Yeah.

That's all it is. And he really is like, you told me private information, sorry for accidentally using it against you every single chance, I guess. Yeah. Right. Yeah, that was his immediate response to you. Oh, you're trying to get me back because you can't have children over there, huh? Oh, I wasn't supposed to say that. Wow.

Your wife's womb is barren. Jesus Christ, dude. I just said Amazon already has a gift option. Yeah. She got the next one. We pretend I'm shooting blanks, all right? You'd be the type of father you would give him a few backhands, right, Tony? A few backhands, keep them honest.

I don't think so. I would give them the look. Right. You know, the look is stronger than a backhand. No, but Tony, if you did have kids, you'd be a terrible father, right? She'd be really bad at parenting, you know, if you were able to have Children, isn't that correct? Beat them, continuous cycle of abuse, right?

What kind of question is that? When your wife fantasizes about being a mother, do you think about beating the kid then? Do you guys ever have those conversations? When we beat the girl more or the boy more, do you think, if we had kids? How would you prefer? You'd beat them both equally. Of course you could.

Which belt would you use? Could you find a belt in that closet behind you and show us? You ever pretend and just hit the pillow? I don't know. I've had lots of kids. Tons of them, too many, so I don't know what that's like for you. He says he sympathizes because he grew up with a couple next door that also did not have kids. And every once in a while, you would peek at the neighbor's house, and you saw the woman,

you saw the woman just staring, staring out her kitchen window, watching us play. And we invite him over a few times, and there was a sadness in that house. What? I have to say, I don't have children. I stare out the window at the neighborhood kids because we're laughing at them. That is true. It's something I really enjoy. I'm not like, oh, if only I had a retard who's running around in the big wheel, smashing into cars.

There have been some boring football games here where that really took precedent. Yeah, before Josh Allen was drafted, some trying times watching the bills. It's like, they must look at us with disgust because they want kids of their own. No, they're just disgusted by you. Yeah. It's like, how many fucking kids are they going to have over there? Because Opie doesn't even know.

Are there seven, eight, nine? What do you know how many kids are in Opie's family back then? And why the fuck does Tony have to answer for any of this? Right. What does it have to do with Tony at all? He tries to say it right here. Yeah, I get what you're saying. And we felt bad for the lady.

I get it. I understand. I'm not that. That's not the couple that I'm at. Yeah. Yeah, we're not staring out the window. logging for a different life, Opie. We're fine. Thanks, Mel Bunny.

No, no, remember you guys with a sad couple? No, no, I told you that's not the case. That was the whole point. Did you see how Tony, like, took a pause and smiled and thought, like, how am I going to explain this to him tactfully? Something you've never seen Opie do. Unbelievable. So, Tony is now inspired, and he starts talking about the tragedy that happened at the Reiner household.

That's his last vision. He opened up. He says, hey, what's up, little Johnny and a little Johnny, like, you know something? Just sit there. You're going to get hobbled right now. You understand. It's, I wouldn't call it a bit, obviously, because hopefully bits are kind of humor-based. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, hopefully they are. Wait, was he, does he not know that the kid's name is Nick? Or is that something else they're talking about there? This is also a couple days ago, so I don't know. Oh, gosh. No, he's talking about that. He is talking about that.

He thinks it's Johnny Reiner, who's a little kid. He was just said, imagine. It's happening to you and you're being stabbed by your own kid. He's being hilarious about it. Good stuff. Yeah. I noticed. Really funny.

So now this is the bit that Opie's talking about. Oh, good. But it's something I've talked about for a very, very long time that there are people out there. There are people out there right now, maybe even watching this, where they gave birth to their own killer. I've been talking about this for a million years. Since he was 18. There's people out there right now. Yeah, they're very famous.

they made a bunch of movies. We know about them. What was he talking about? Did you know how this happens? Yes, it's the biggest news story this week. But this is Opie's thing. Everyone knows that. Being the parents of serial killers is Opie's beat.

Everyone knows that. What the fuck is he talking about? Oh, boy. What a good bit, though. Well, now we're going to start to get into Opie's personality and how people feel about it. Tony, you're the man. I made a mistake today, so I just want to, you know, I was just,

I'm not going to lie to you. Like, I, I, I, I want to let people in on the, you know, the real stuff. I was going for a silly bit, and I forgot what you told me. And I'm like, but that's all right, bro, because, you know, that's, this is what I'm learning, because we're new friends, right? When you friends, you were very successful at what, I mean, where I'm not thinking anything of what you did away from you. But the word on the street is that you don't, you're not a nice guy.

Right. Oh. Oh, interesting. All right, Tony. Oh, I'm starting to wear up to Tony a little bit here. You know, people all told me you're a prick. I mean, word on your street. Word on the street. Your doorman told me that. Yeah, no shit. Yeah, because he's hanging out at Gephardt. He's like, yeah, we're on the street. What street? Well, actually, he's inside the bar where all your friends are. So you're a prick.

By street, I mean the comment section of this clip. Yeah, that too. You know, what's funny about that is Opie has to bring that up again, which if Tony's uncomfortable with this like yeah just let it lay we're good we're moving on that thing that OB just did like dude I'm sorry I shouldn't have brought that up is what you do after the show's over yeah

that's what a true friend would do like you know what I brought that up I wasn't thinking I'm really sorry about this is scab picking right yes to bring it back up on the show it's like he's trying to reintroduce it again and get back into it it's like it doesn't make him look like the good person in this you can't mention

Jackie the joke man to stuttering John without him saying, who hates me because he had a stroke and can't work anymore and isn't healthy and I, that's why he hates me. It's because you keep saying that. Don't bring it up, Opie. Drop it. Just drop it. Don't draw attention to it.

So now there's a fan of Tony's and of O&A that comes to Gepphart's and has some thoughts on Opie that Tony's going to share. And he's a fan fan. I'm talking about he's talking about you. He's talking about you. He's talking about you. Good guy, by the way. Solid dude. He's been around a couple times now.

Correct. And he's very nostalgic. He gives both of you guys equal support. Right. He'd love to see a reunion. But he said, everybody was paying this guy to be a piece of shit. And he's like, I've met him twice. And he's been nothing but fucking great to me. Nothing but kind. Oh, my God, Tony. Thank you for saying that. Because, like, I, uh, there's nothing I can do about it anymore. You know, I think, uh, unfortunately, I was looked at as like the boss of the show. And, uh, I think a lot of people are using me as a, as a escape. go to wow opi needs to cling to that yeah he's so excited someone said that i was a nice guy let's talk about that for the next 32 minutes that's awesome you know a guy who actually is secure in who they are would just go yeah yeah yeah right whatever whatever uh so anyway did you

catch the game last night see how the bills came back against the patrons like that's what opi should be saying right now that's what people want to be talking about obviously Tony brought that up and Opie was holding his breath for the entire minute and then when he said he thinks you're a great guy oh God thank God I'm so glad thank you so much

that's always Opie's go-to is that he was the boss as if there was never been a boss that people liked in the history of bosses yeah it's like no there's lots of people that people enjoy working for it's not mutually exclusive right here Opie's trying to wrap it up the one stupid video it's on

YouTube shorts right now. I say it's stupid because it's so quick and easy, but it's doing very, very, you know what I think? Whatever, I'll play it another time. But, you know, it's a quick clip of you talking about having sad eyes. People said you have sad eyes and you said it's because I'm married. The thing is eight seconds. It's doing very well.

Why don't you want to play it if it's going very well? Bring up not having kids again. Why is he not wanting to play it? Why does Opie think that an eight-second clip is actually going viral? Oh, he just... Go ahead. No, it's got the numbers if it's... He's so stupid.

Do you mind pulling it up? Do you have it here? Yeah, it's the next one. Your wife just said you have saddust. That's because I'm married. You understand? Good stuff. okay that music that helps a lot too wow

really good if you look there you can see it has 10 likes and four comments it's going viral holy shit you're right that's so sad it's doing very very well I know what you're thinking guys you're thinking well Opie posted a lot of places and I probably just picked the one with the low

numbers from Opie Radio so here's the same clip on Opie Unleashed your wife just said you have saddust yeah that's because I'm married Do you understand? Three likes, one comment. What's he talking about? I don't know, man.

This reminds me of, just to bring up Aaron Imhold again from Stiltoe. He brags about the number of people watching his show, but he adds in Twitter or X numbers. And the way they calculate those numbers is just like anyone who's passing by scrolling through and there's an impression that runs by, They count as like a live viewer or something. And I think the same thing is happening with these YouTube shorts. And the reason why Opie was getting all those views when he was going vertical in the morning with his show.

And he's like, wait, 27,000 views. You don't. You don't. That's not a real metric. People are just flinging by these stupid quick videos. They're not paying attention. They're not engaging and they don't care. I also think that Opie deals with a lot of older people.

And when he tells his wife or Ron or anybody that it's doing well, He can show them some of those random Imholt numbers and trick them. If you look, the amount of plays the Billy Eilish song has at the bottom of the clip says 2 million. Oh, right. I'm thinking OBC's that 2 million shows it to people. Oh, okay. That's funny. That's why he bragged about it, but he wouldn't put it up.

Okay, yep, that makes sense. Because we'll know. Because imagine we didn't have 2 million views on this video and one comment. That wouldn't be a good sign at all. This next one's up to you. Does anyone have any desire to see Tony's apartment? I have to see Tony's apartment. I want to compare this to what Rod's up to.

Let's see. A few super chats. Thank you. I made seven bucks today. Thank you for that. But I need you to listen to these on a podcast app. So whatever app you have, subscribe to Opio, download a few episodes and listen, okay?

That helps the cause a lot. Tony's trying to figure out how to turn off his... No, I'm going to be like you. I'm trying to get like the... Oh, yeah, man. The sun sets back there, bro. If I set up like this, I would have the same view as you. So why don't you go next to the window next time?

Yeah, go next to the window next time. I would love to see your view. Yeah. All right. But that's the one thing that really, really, really helped. If you could watch these or listen to them, depending on what app you got, if you can listen to these on a podcast app, that helps tremendously. That window would be fine.

It'd be fine. It's a very tiny window on that apartment. If it weren't contrasted with Opie's giant windows behind him overlooking Manhattan, and Tony's just like, yeah, look, I got the same view you do. You don't. Maybe you should podcast like I do. You shouldn't. We're twins.

Yeah, no, no, no. It's way sadder. And even within that, Opie had the vibe of, like, someone just told him they're auditioning for the same role as it was like, oh, well, then you should use yours too. I bet it's great. He's still in my act. But also, it's never going to be backlit. Opie's like, yeah, you should be backlit from now on, like I am. It's a terrible idea.

This last thing is crazy. This is Opie telling you about a holiday film he saw. It pays off. And we were watching this hunk of shit where this mom, she loses her job. She makes Christmas cookies. And they're like, we have to let you go. And then the daughter wants to go to the snowboarding school. Did anyone else see this hunk of shit?

And so then the mom's like, I need to figure out how to like pay for this. So then, you know, she realizes that the exclusive hotel, right, that is run by the fuck up of a son, you know, the guy that really runs the hotel. Some billionaire, he's like, oh, you're a fuck up. Why'd you run my exclusive hotel? And then she comes down because she's like, oh my God,

they're auditioning for Santa Claus. Problem is, I got a vagina. So she gets her friends together. She's like, look, man, I got a vagina, right? Didn't say this in the movie, but I mean between the line. I got a vagina and I got a look like a guy

because if I could get $2,000 a week. That's a nice salary in this game age. And then I could get my daughter who's getting bullied on the fucking ski slope because she dresses weird. There's a mean girl's angle here. I could get her into the snowboarding school.

This is crazy. So then I guess who got the job as Santa Claus. Because, oh, my God, if she wasn't believable as a man, it was incredible. And then she falls in love kind with the guy that is the fuckoff of the billionaire, right? The son of the billionaire, they're both in the locker room. And then there's this whole weird thing because he drops his towel because he thinks he's in a locker room with fucking just guys. Even though I've been in the locker with a nice piece downstairs. But I'm not going to fucking just fucking just fucking just fucking down.

And now he's naked to the world. And then he's looking at her dressed as Santa Claus and go, well, aren't you going to change? And she's like, well, he'll go around the corner change. Not even close to believable as a dude. You still believe he has a vagina. but this guy's stupid and thinks that, you know, it's a real guy. And then, uh, once you ask me how it ended there, Tony Pete. Ha, she fell in love with the guy.

The answer is, I have no fucking idea. Perfect. Perfect. Thank you for bringing that up. Amazing. Right. Good stuff. He goes, asked me how it ended it.

And Tony just goes, did it end up with them falling in love? Like, that's not what Opie said at all. He said, ask him how it ended. Take direction, Tony. Yeah, and Tony's just selling everything that Opie's doing. Blah! He's fallen off his chair right there. Good for him.

This show is for no one but Opie. Well, I'm glad that Opie has a new friend. I'm glad that Tim and Tony P. are following in love. But, you know, I'm a traditionalist. For me, when I think of Opie in the morning, I think of Opie and Ron the waiter. You know, it's Ron Burman or busts for me. So please tell him, you check. in on Tuesday morning show, which is Ron Day.

I sure did. And the chat really comes alive when Ron is there. And they set him off right at the top. That's beautiful. David says, because my title is simple. Trump's terrible Rob Reiner tweet, why surprise? So David has to hit us right away with the tedious. Tedious.

We all got tedious. No. Let me start, Ron. Trump is an asshole. Okay. And we all should accept that Trump. is an asshole we should all accept that Trump is a dick you know there's a there's a political commentary a free chat he put up that sometimes even come up yet he's already

screaming like a lunatic there's no way the family lives there with that right no they're not there that's a crazy way that behave just as the whole recap of that film we just heard nobody can be in the other room while he's doing that no they would have him committed So the check continues to piss him off. Okay. Opie is a sociopath, whining that other people lack empathy. Hey, Barry, what the F do you know about me, Barry? You lunatic.

You fucking lunatic. And I have shown empathy on this, on especially the later years of my career, you lunatic. I actually felt insanely sad for Charlie Kirk's family as well. There's proof. There's proof you're all better now, Opie I like that he first goes, you don't know me And then he goes, all right, you were right for a while there But I've changed my way

Like which one is it? That was two weeks ago Yeah I was watching So Akasha's wife, Jazeline has that podcast With her friend That's like main character pod

Or something that's called And they were getting a lot of hate For the shit that she was talking about her husband And they came on the show and they go, people are saying they hate me? They don't even know me. It's like, no, no, no. We hate you.

You can get to know someone real quick when you watch them talk for an hour and a time and do a microphone. People get to know whether they like you or not. You know why? That's bullshit because you've never heard Obie say, oh, they're a fan of mine? They like me? They don't even know me. I've never met them.

Yeah, yeah. You never hear that side of that. Okay. So now that he's, uh, he knows how to handle criticism. Oh, good. Rage baited me there, Ron. You know, he's. He Raged Bairie.

Barry, you know, and now, whatever, Barry, let me get rid of Barry. Barry can't handle this. Oh, Barry can't handle this. Barry's the one who can't handle this. Interesting. I saw a whole different thing that just unfold, but okay. Yep. And Ron's trying to comfort him.

So he's like, Barry, you know, Barack Obama's real name is Barry. So Michelle Obama is something, something. And I don't know why Opie launches into this about Michelle Obama. And let me try to figure out if she has a package. I'm going to go and enjoy the day today. You go online and try to figure out if she has a package or not. Like I said, this world has passed me by. What else you got, Ron?

You don't fucking know all about this shit. Wow. I hope he just hears Michelle Obama and I have to talk about her dick immediately. Immediately. This old world might have passed him by. Yeah, I think so. Well, he's really triggered on the show today. Yeah.

What's going on? He's in a bad mood. Maybe he didn't get his Christmas shopping done. He's got holidays coming up and all that stresses him out. Grandpa gets real stressed out around the holidays. Isn't it the most suicides around the holidays? Well, yeah. That's what they say.

Yeah, Rod knows all about that, unfortunately. He sure does. And he comes in right here with a story about a student he went to high school with named Lewis. They were on the football team together. They were both co-captons. And this kid had a tough time. He was bullied by a student named Anthony Foot. And Ronald, take it from there.

Lewis's girlfriend, family moved to another state. So it just devastated him. It was like his only anchor. He drops out of school. Two weeks later, he comes back with a double-barrow shotgun, wearing a ammunition. I just got to be able to talk about this openly, but the social media drives me nuts and just be very careful.

Come back with a double barrel. I can say that. You're going to talk about all of this stuff, Opie. What is he talking about? Why does he think he's being censored all the time? Who does he think he's listening? Right. Right.

Not YouTube. I can tell you that. Careful, careful. He's telling a news story. Has Opie ever heard a true crime podcast? Do you know the shit we say on the creep off every Monday afternoon? I'm never worried about it. I'm just reporting the news.

You actually have fun with it. Yeah, I shouldn't. That's the bad part. But still, I love the open. Opie thinks that YouTube's going to be like, you're talking about shooting with a gun? You can't do that. I think Ron just got too many words in without Opie saying something. Yeah.

Yes. He's got to slow down his momentum a little bit. He always does it at the worst time of the story and of trying to censor someone. They were talking about Did he said everything. And then he said he's gay and Opie went, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. This guy just said the kid comes to the school with a Darrowbell shotgun. He was wearing, oh, ho, ho, whoa, whoa, before you describe what he's wearing. There are censors here.

So don't say camouflage. We can't say that. show yeah all right so he continues out with the story of the shooter he's drinking like a like a big wine cooler right and he and he goes directly to the home room of where anthony foot should be because now you got very careful how you understand i got i got i got to understand what happened next i understand just be careful so we don't i don't know if they even have homeruns now but back then you had to go to your home room first right well that's how you were saying alphabetical order or something.

So he went in there and did he take him out? Hold on. Let me tell the story. The one fucking day, Anthony Foote decides to skip homeroom is that fucking day. So this guy's alive? Obie already finished the story in his head.

We've all got the story. It's already done. Wait, he survived that? Yeah, he didn't even tell the story yet, you idiot. I think Chris is right. I think he just can't handle somebody else telling a good story. d'ory. Yeah. He really stops all momentum from happening.

Homeroom. We can't be saying home room on the show. What the fuck? Was there a homeroom rep? This is like the Kevin Brennan joke that he does ad nauseum. He's like, whoa, whoa, go to my channel strikes, the holidays. Whoa, we can't say that. But Opie's doing it earnestly.

Right. Opie legitimately thinks you can't say these things. A season pro like Opie. Don't say shock. I'd say pew, pew, pew. There's ways around this. So not to be outdone, Ron mentions another moment in history that happened at his school. So six weeks later, the same goddamn high school in Corkin, New Hampshire, my history teacher, Christopher, Christopher, was the teacher that was in the Space Shuttle Challenger.

Wait, this guy's from New England? That's where he went to school, yeah. Holy shit. A history teacher, Chrisa McCallov, was the teacher that was the teacher that was, in the Space Shuttle Challenger, where she blew up. I heard her, uh, I heard about the color of her eyes. Blue. What blue this way?

What blew that? Anyway, that's not the point. The point is that was Ron's teacher, huh? That was in that, uh, no shit. And they do mention some of those jokes. Oh, okay. Some of the jokes that, uh, were famous around that time. Opie has to own up to saying some on his old radio show.

Well, don't say that on YouTube, though. Yeah. Careful. Careful. None of this is interesting to Opie. Oh, no? No. We spent how many episodes on his mother?

None of this is of any interest, really. He just almost doesn't believe it. He questions him to be like, I don't even know if that's true. He gets competitive with him. Of course he does. Does that the next clip? No, the next one is him trying to win favor with the audience and Ron. Okay.

And coming soon, do we do it tomorrow or Thursday? Coming soon, it's going to be around the wait or appreciation day. Oh. Oh, yeah? Oh, wait, but well, it's Hanukkah. It's a Hanukkah. By the way, tonight will be the third night of Hanukkah. The third.

Maybe we do it Thursday so we can get people pumped. But basically, look, I take care of Ron, first of all. Second of all, though, how about you put your money where your mouth is? Everyone likes Ron on these things. So how about maybe Thursday, all super chats that come in, I will give to Ron the waiter, on top of what I will give him, you know, as well. It's a hunt. Oh, hold on.

Like, whatever I get you're going to match. That we just said? Whoa, whoa. What is this scheme that Obie's coming up? This is very unopi-like what he's coming up with here. So now he's realizing that if he wants Superchats, which is an only income, well, no, it gets he makes ad revenue, he's got that I-heart deal that he was talking about. They never brings up anymore.

So there's that ad revenue that's coming in. But the Super Chats is like, it's really that well is run dry. So he's looking for schemes now. right and so he's going everyone loves ron there'll be less insults towards me let's do a ron super chat thursday thing and i want to point out to opi if he's listening or his nephew or whoever runs in social media is listening uh cardiff just went on centering john's show and john has not made more money during a podcast episode all year and cardiff has been trying to get back on opi's show for months and Opie rejected it.

If you want to make some money, you've got to get a potato on the show. This is something we all know. This is proof is in the pudding on this one. America loves carbs. For sure. All right, so what's going on here? Opie's coming up with this scheme, he says,

I'm going to give you all the super chat money, and then Ron goes, we could double it? Will you match? Yeah. He got real greedy there, didn't he? Uh-huh. Is that what you just said? Yeah, that got really weird.

Like, oh, maybe you can actually double the amount of money that you make and give it to me. It's brilliant because Opie's trying to do this nice gesture and get goodwill from it. So Ron has to challenge him and make him actually give him something. Let's see how Opie handles that. I didn't say match. Wait, I can't. I'll say this.

I'll say this. I'll say this. No, because I get nervous. I have no problem matching. We do Ron the waiter appreciation day. You get all the Super Chat money and I match. But I don't know if YouTube allows. that officially. So I can't officially

say that I would batch if you know what I'm saying. I got to look into the rules. Let's make open for. On YouTube. And me, rich. I mean, these people, these people love you. So, you know, so let's do this. You know, we'll do a, we'll do a super chat day for you. And all

if it goes to you. And then I will and I will do something very nice. Because I don't know how, I don't know how, I don't know, I don't know. You too bad. Oh, Hanukkah. You do not very strict rules with, like, super chats and stuff. So I got to, all I could say is all the super chats will go to you. I think I could say that.

And I will do something handsomely after that. Does that make sense? Yes, Thursday, Thursday, Thursday. It's Ronnie's Hanukkah Appreciation Day. Let me figure it all out. But at the very least, all super chats on Thursday, go to you. Don't get too excited, Ron, because we made $2 today. I bet he'll do better on Thursday.

That's my prediction on this. I think Ron Day will do better than two bucks. I think he's going to do great because Opie spent the entire day today saying it's, it's Ron's day tomorrow, so you got to send me money today. Come on. Give me five bucks. Oh, boy. What an asshole.

So Opie thinks this is crazy. Opie thinks that it's against YouTube's terms of service for Opie to give money to his buddy behind the scenes. Yep. how would that be possible? How would YouTube police such a thing? And why would they police such a thing? Well, I think he knows that it's not true. He has to.

But it's a reason. It's the craziest thing I've ever heard as far as like, I don't think that they'd allow me to match the money. Or they just make up a dollar amount and give me that. 200 bucks. And they'll be fine with that done. Oh, and then YouTube will do you have like that's pretty close to the actual

super chat money you got, 200 bucks. I think we've got to police this. give us the money I'll be hand it over that's crazy and I just love the fact that opi's so cash poor and Ron called about it I mean that was kind of a ballsy move on Ron's part he's got nothing to lose yeah why not hey why don't you match it too he'll never see that money because you know what opi'll do you don't get the money until the 21st the next month and the money you know the gross versus the net is so wacky because YouTube takes their cut and Apple takes their cut if you're on an iPhone or an

iPad. So I can only imagine OP's going to have a hard time with the accounting. And also, well, I'll give you the money when I get the money. I want to follow this saga. I want to know if this gets brought up on the air ever again. But I'm looking forward to tomorrow morning, Thursday morning. Oh, I will be there. Yes, please, Adam. We need you monitoring the situation for us. Thank you very much. Great presentation today of Opie's show. Let's, uh, check out what's going on with my buddy Stachio. All right, so we have a contest

going. Settling John is starting up the Melendez law firm and he says he's got this great tagline or slogan but he can't tell us what it is. He doesn't want to steal. And so I've asked all of you to speculate on what you think that might be. And we've had some good submissions come in. People have been making actual logos of it and helping us with the visual element of it as well.

So here's an example. Has your life been turned sloidways? Call Skolwa, you dumb fuck, 100, Gagia. So he's decided that's going to be Skolwa. Eric Connor comes in with Menendez attorney at lore, fat, drug, and stupid is the way to go through life. Gold Star Lawyering, and these are the things that he does the best. Potato bullying, kid trashing, rise of publicity, integrity verification, and general warts. It's supposed to be general wards, but I like it.

Who's that a picture of? That's the principal or the dean in Vernon, Vernon. Yeah. Okay. He's the one. It stinks. He's the one who says fat, drunk, and stupid. There's no way to go through life.

Here's one from Brian DeWald says, Melinda's law, we are not afraid to sue. He's not afraid to sue. I also got Deluxe coming in with experts in drunk driving skull, which you would think it would be drunk driving law. I already wrote in and said, And when I get your case closed, we celebrate the win by opening mine. Scola!

C.J. Hammer wrote in a few, he said, if they drew first blood, hire the dud. Or where credits mean everything unless calculating your bill. Or your lawyer doesn't need a degree to charge you a fee. It's pretty good. And then this one, when legal trouble take their toll, just lift a bunch and yell, Skull. Okay. Jeremy or Jerry Jerome Hawkins says,

if you get trashed, I'll get you cash. Alyssa Ortiz says, Melinda's Law. That's why pencils have erases. Yeah. That's a good one. And SSD says, Melinda's lore, have you been a dumb fuck? We could help.

Call us at 1-800 trashed. Keep those coming in. We have the contest going of the best taglines or slogans for John's new law firm after he passes the bar in a few years because he's getting help from Miss Judy. Miss Judy is back on the show. And shockingly, everyone in this audience is going to be surprised by this because we played the clip last time of John saying that he's putting Vince the lawyer in timeout for a year

maybe indefinitely. Very mad at Vince the lawyer for his behavior. and we know that when John says he's going to do something, he's going to do that. He follows through with that. Well, it turns out Vince was back on the show, and then Vince convinced John to have Judy back on the show. And Judy is looking over this lawsuit, the lull suit, as we refer to it, or the skullsuit, because she's going to go on once over with Kaylee, the, you know, Lucy type box. She does dabbleverse and discussed this.

So she just started looking at it. at it. Ms. Judy and Lucy Tightbox are going to review your lawsuit I heard next week. Yeah, next month take. Okay. I just took a quick look at it, so I don't have any sort of initial impressions yet. Well, other than your attorney couldn't even spell his own name right. So that doesn't look good. I think it was the first page. The first or second page that I saw on this huge P.T. out. He just spelled his last name.

Who does that? I think he amended it and got it and got it right the second time, right, John? I thought so. I don't even know. But listen, here's the thing, though. Vince, what has

what has Lady Kaye been successful at? That's really good flow to that conversation. He was punched drunk. That was a punch to the face and he could not recover. The first things that miss judy comes out to talk to about what's up with your attorney spelling his name wrong it seems

like a dunce he's like oh yeah well i got my resume here right yeah we get let me pull that out so i appreciate judy coming on trying to have a conversation with him about this he obviously does not want to talk about it which i understand and so he decides to talk about me which is he's been talking about me a lot because i went on hughy show this week and they've been watching the clip on She was anonymous or one of these subredits. And so watch how Judy's, like, tuned out. She's like, oh, we're doing this. I thought I was a guest on the show to talk about law or something.

But now, John's going at his usual. Lady Kay's the worst stuff. I mean, he starts to say, I fail at everything. I don't know, Vince. I sold the movie The National Lampoon. So Judy's just checked out. She's like, oh, John's doing as Carl said this, and I have to prove him wrong with that. It'd be great if she cracked a bushlight.

Oh, you got one for me? So this is what John's referring to. He's watched this video twice now. He watched it. Tuesday, he's watching again today. Any guest that he has on the show, he just keeps pulling this up. So this is what he's referring to where he says that I said he fails at everything.

It's not what I said. I guess so what you're not understanding because you're like, I don't care about Suttering John. And the vast majority of people don't give a shit about Sederate John. But I will tell you, I think he's the greatest locale in the history of lowcows. I can make the argument for it because, unlike all the other guys that people make fun of, John actually did have a 15-year run on the Howard Stern show

and a 10-year run on the Tonight Show, and he sucks at everything. It's- Fuck you! It's incredible what he's accomplished, and now that we're seeing what he really is and who he actually is, it's fascinating. So that's what I said on there.

I was like, the reason why we follow John is because he did have a career and show business. I'm like a lot of these other losers, you know, he's not dark side fill or, You know, any of these other guys that you watch, you go, oh, this is like a bubbling idiot on the internet. They're fun, too. Sure.

But John's fascinating. So John sees that. And he goes, Carl says I fail at everything, which is not what I said. But, of course, John has to go to his go-toe why I suck. Yeah, okay. Let me just tell you, Miss Judy. Like, as Vince knows,

he used to broadcast like this. And he did his whole show, Miss Judy. Looking to the side. Yeah. For seven years. And I had to be the guy who is successful at broadcasting. Tell him that you don't broadcast looking to the side. You look straight ahead.

Yeah. But he's going to say, I'm a failure. This is how you measure success based on the way your head is tilted? I had no idea. That was the measurement for this. I should be doing better. So Vince is convinced John That I took John's advice

Because when I do shows Where I'm not showing my own video clips Like right now I'm looking to the side Because that's where my monitor is Where I watch my videos from When I'm doing shows where I don't pull my own clips I look forward at the people who I'm on a show with So I do it both ways

It's amazing It's amazing I'm versatile I am He showed this clip to Ava And Ava said exactly that And he had the same moment as earlier He just got like punched drunk in the head I can respond Yeah well that

And then just moved on to something else Okay. Yeah. So, but, yeah, John's very convinced that the reason why I suck as a podcaster is because of the way that I tilt my head while recording my show, which you got me, John.

All right, let the hitting on Ms. Judy begin. Wait, hitting on her. Hold on, hold on. She, he's not attracted to her anymore. He made that very clear. He was drunk that one night and lashing out. He was angry, but now he's very attracted to Miss Judy. Huh.

And he's very charming, too, John. I'm trying to do some work and she's following your show now religiously Who is? Miss Judy I am Miss Judy, what are you going to come out here and let's go have dinner? Oh no, John

It's my sister who's going to Florida possibly. She said that if you were within like a 300 mile radius your show she would drive to it. Well, maybe not 300 miles but there is a comedy club called Rowley Improv that's pretty close

to me. What's it called? Ralehi Improv. Okay, well, I will I'll check it out, Mr. Judah. I'd love to meet you. He'll be booking that. The second the show ends, he'll be calling Raleigh. John is great at that. He has no problem.

He's never embarrassed. It's such a great superpower to have. So he'll call Raleigh Improv and pay them to do their show there. Who's listening to the show? I think VTL is a saying to the show. John Superpowers. The inability to be embarrassed. Did you see immediately

you know Vince sets it up oh Miss Judy's texting me about you she's watching your show and John just like oh he's making all those dumb faces I guess we're gonna fuck you know he's got he's got out figured out

he thinks he's all charming and silly and he will try to book a show at that comedy club for sure it really felt like a double team like two cops getting this guy to do whatever they want

she like almost pulled out of script like yes there's a comedy club at the Raleigh Improv You should call them. Something's happening here, and I like it. Well, John finds out that Miss Judy has a boyfriend. This is bad news. But don't worry, John's able to pivot.

Miss Judy, if it's true that you have a boyfriend, then hook me up your sister. I mean, I don't know if this is a good strategy to show how desperate you are. Words. Fail me. At all times, he just shows how desperate he is and how alone and lonely he is. well, do you know anyone else with a vagina? Or maybe it used to be a penis, but they inverted it. Do you know anyone?

I'm progressive. Yeah, I'll do whatever. No, sis, you'll love this. He says he'll take either one of us. Doesn't matter. It's great. Yeah, we're interchangeable. Now, when we had Judy on PDP,

we were talking to her about some of John's creepy behavior, and I appreciate she got back on John's show, because she wasn't sure if she'd ever be back on again. I was messaging with her on the side And I'm like you've got to get back on that show You're great on it I love Miss Judy on John's show And John's always hitting on her And John tells the story

About he's bragging about fucking this girl And he drove like a really far distance Because she's like my sister lives in D.C. He's like so what you know He's like I once drove across the country In order to get laid and Judy's not impressed by this It's our third meeting, which is the one where I closed the deal. Is that something to brag about?

I mean, women are in us by this type of talk. Mr. Judy, what I'm trying to say is just because your sister's in D.C., it's only a two-hour plane right away. That's a lot of effort. I mean, you're in Florida. Aren't there tons of women there? Yeah, nope. Could you imagine talking about flying from Cape Coral to Washington, D.C., for a woman you've never met before, that you might potentially get some from?

Imagine thinking that, let alone saying it out loud on your podcast. When I was in my teens, late teens, I might have, uh. Yeah, right. Yeah, John has the mentality of a virgin who's feeling like, fuck, this window. I got to get in at some point. I think he's starting to feel that desperation of, if not now, when. Like, this happens to guys like John were just like, I will never get my dick wet again.

And he's handling it very poorly. Well, he's not listening to her saying, women are not impressed by this. Yeah, the body count you talk about, the 300 girls, like he brings it up all the time. She's just like, that's not a turnout. Yeah, we're not impressed by that. That's your audacity of saying,

let me tell you what women want. to Judy is incredible. It's great. So Judy fires back with, you know, instead of flying to D.C. to meet my sister who's not interested in you and is way out of your league, you know, there's like apps and stuff for that. Listen to John's answer. Well, what about Tinder?

You know. Oh, I'm on Tinder all the time. That was sad. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That was sad. I can't get anyone to swipe right on me. I'm on Tinder all the time. brutal there's plenty of apps you could fail at yeah don't stop there you need a working credit card

for some of them right right they want a photo through this from the last 30 years remember when raya wouldn't approve him yes he talked to some comic and she's like oh yeah I'm on there that's hilarious all right so john finds out that judy's been with her boyfriend for over five years. So you know what that, what question's going to come up. Are you? So how long have you been dating this guy?

Probably five plus years. Oh, so you don't have sex anymore. Huh? So you don't have sex anymore. Let's not talk about these things. I'm only kidding. I'm just trying to. I'm acting like Vince.

Remember, John's only kidding, unless he's not. Right up until he's not. Uh, do you want to talk about your? sex life because I'm just joking unless you do because then we can talk about it and she could have said almost anything and he was coming back with that yeah you're right I'm just trying to shock you he says yeah I wish she would shock him back that's oh yeah we're fucking that's not a shocking question right my asshole sore john what else you want to talk about going down to me right now right now yeah say hi honey so judy throws john a bone she compliments him

And John can't handle compliments either. No. He can't handle rejection. He can't handle compliments. He sucks. Vince was asking you if you sniffed girls underwear. No. It's gross.

And you said something like, well, what if she farted in them? Yeah. I don't know why, but it just struck a nerve and I started laughing like crazy. Because these are things that most people wouldn't say in polite company. Oh, but, you know my history. I've been doing this since I was five years old. Is that incredible? Oh, saying inappropriate things that you shouldn't say?

Yeah, I've been doing this other five. Yeah, that's when people do that. When they're five, they don't know any better. And John takes that as like a badge of honor. No, you know what I understand? I've been an immature asshole since I was an immature asshole. I was born a pervert. Good stuff.

And you can't just like take the comments. She's like, I thought that was really funny when you did that. Well, people wouldn't do that. It's like, oh, you don't even know. I do that kind of shit in my sleep. I'm so good at be an inappropriate. All right, John, good for you. So then he gets to the bottom of whether or not

Judy and her boyfriend even sleep in the same room. This is hilarious. Is it true that you don't sleep in the same room as your boy? That's true. That's true. Because things get boring after, I don't know. I mean, let's say you've been with the same person for five years. Yeah, you don't want to eat pizza every day.

Huh? Eat pizza? That's a perfect answer, Judy. You know what I eat pizza every day? I was talking about sex with my boyfriend. What are you talking about? So you did send me the pizza. Fucking John.

He really has just caught up in his own world. But here he sees an opportunity. He's like, oh, she just said she's bored of sex with her boyfriend. They don't sleep in the same bed together. John's going, I got an inn right here. So he's going to go full court press on this one. Now remember, he's just joking around. Right.

In other words, like, so yeah, you're bored, right? Yeah, exactly. There's always like this initial drill. Why do you have a little Dana Rican here? Actually, I've never been with a Puerto Rican. Jesus, John. He cannot help himself. He knows it isn't a good look.

The faces he makes and he gets real close to the camera and stuff, it looks hideous, looks demonic. And yet he can't stop himself. he's just so horned up and so excited about this possibility she's rejecting everything she's rejected him every time he's gone after and then he's like trying to get her out of technicality yeah but you don't fuck your boyfriend yes so it's like well yeah you're right so i guess i do have to screw here never mind thought you just say no which window in the house is to your bedroom right i was waiting for him to say yeah which which room i'll book the raleigh comedy club yeah all right so

John's improv skills are on full display in this one. You know what they say is, as soon as you go Puerto Rican, you'll start your man-seeking. Yeah, but... I was going to say your pussy will be reeking. Would make more sense on that one. Wow, why would John even start that without having any idea where he was going to go with that? Also, it doesn't work. No.

So once you try me, you'll be seeking other people. Yeah. Yep. It doesn't make any sense. Oh, boy. John sucks at this. He sucks at comedy and hitting on girls. And that's what he's trying to pull off here.

So a chat comes in and makes fun of John. Let's see. Evans Gate. When you're hungover, you look more Asian than Judy. I'm kind of insult. That's kind of rude, but what if we can flap it off? Yeah, but see. So, Miss Judy, if you're,

You're bored with this guy. Why not get a little strange? Because we've had kind of a longer relationship, and he gets along well with my son. Oh, poor Judy. Now she's asked to, like, answer earnestly. Like, all right, let me explain to you how relationships work, John. So we're committed to each other. And so, yeah, he's, he's not dicking me down every night.

That doesn't mean I'm just going to go, like, any guy showing. of their hog in my mouth. I don't know if you understand how the world works, but that's kind of like what we're doing here. Poor Judy. Yeah, it didn't even start there. It started earlier when she was like, now we know that hurt your feelings, John,

but we're just going to brush that off, even though it was mean. It was kind of funny, huh? Right. Like, she's soft parenting him. Meanwhile, she thought it was funny, John, and you didn't. She likes all these stupid Asian jokes. She's way into it.

So, yeah, there's John just like, honestly being like no no no I really think that you're going to have to sleep with me and she's explaining that no I have a boyfriend and uh you know we've been committed together for a long time so listen to this because her boyfriend and her son are you know really well connected you know their family at this point and so she wants to know like or she's explaining to him like yeah there's a reason why I'm in a committed relationship with this guy I'm sure I'd be kidding me with your son. Huh?

I'm sure I'd get along. Well, how do you get along with your children? What? Get along with your children. Wonderfully. Oh, that's a great question, Judy. Yeah. How do you get along with your children?

John says wonderfully. You know, there's actually paperwork filed in this lawsuit, if you ever get to it, Judy, that says otherwise. It's written there in black and white that John actually does not get along with his children. I didn't put that in there. John decided to, for some reason. I haven't had a fight with my kids in years. Yeah, well, that's true.

That's probably very true. All right, so then Judy starts getting made fun of, and John has to white night for her. People say mean things about me, too, you know, like you sound shitty, and, you know, something's wrong with you, and you're not that hot or you look like a grandpa. I think you're hot. Whatever. I don't care. No, I was talking about you, John. People can have different opinions. Okay.

Why is John so bad at this? He's 60 years old. I think you're hot. I think you're hot. Do you hear what I said about you being hot? She knows, John. God damn it. It's enough already.

It's not helping you. Fucking polar pigtails a little harder, you idiot. Seriously. Sucks at this. All right. So then John reads a super chat about the fact that he has jettler warts this goes well to tell judy how your penis warts went away all these are so silly miss judy i'm so silly about this warst story because people

keep mentioning that you had general i had general warts when i was like 20 years old and they cut them off and i've never gotten them back sometimes they you know you know they'll never turn up again any girl i've had sometimes they write to me from a farm but they have to come back home I put $500 away every month for them And I send it Again Any girl I've ever been with never got them So I think it's dormant or out of my system

Jesus Christ I think I'm pretty sure Dormant So are we fucking or what Yeah right But actually it's kind of like a ribbed for her pleasure Kind of thing with my channel

Oh Jesus I've got compliments on my warts now I don't want to eat or have sex all right let's get back to hitting on Ms. Judy ultimately it's for

entertainment isn't it like we could be totally making up stories just to entertain people oh yeah that's right it's like a soap opera drama yeah but it's sort of real life

because you're talking about your life all the time Vince wanted me to say do you have any Puerto drinking in you. No. Do you want some? Well, I thought that

So John's not listening to his guest at all. And so she just continues to talk because she doesn't know what's going on. John's just looking down. And Vince is sending John pickup lines because John can't do it on his own. Vince is telling me to say, you want to fuck?

He's so bad at this. Vince asked me to ask you if you like me. if you do check this box this is this continues to escalate this is the craziest part right here so do you promise that if you and your boyfriend break up i get first dibs well i'll tell you i will tell you but see like we can just be friends why can't people just be friends oh jolly got friends owned yeah he doesn't know it yet he's not listening and also you can't be friends with this man no he's horny he's too horny to be friends with you miss judy but john just uh that was the craziest thing if you break up with your boyfriend you're gonna fuck me right she doesn't like you it's very obvious to everyone observing this well at the very least can i fuck your sister while i'm waiting right i know he just uh anyway dibs remember remember this is all just jokes but uh

One more try. I have a romantic attraction. Well, sometimes you just have to put that aside and just be happy to have friends. Everyone always says I'm so creepy, but to me, I'm kind of kidding. I'm being. Yeah, exactly. Everyone says I'm creepy, but to me, I'm kind of kidding. Oh, my God.

He even knows he comes off as a creep, and then everyone tells him he's a creep, and he still can't help himself. and that's proof this guy has not gotten laid in at least seven years I wouldn't be surprised if it's 10 it has a big effect on a man's mental state it does it does uh he's he's having a rough go at it uh we back up real quick producer chris found this the other day and uh dabbler's anonymous oh yeah and it's probably be good for our one of our living in the past series

we could do both but we can do both this is great this from eight years ago This is a review of John's podcast, and this guy fucking nailed it. Pure Drek, he said. Suthering John must be mentally ill. The presumption that anyone would be interested in is this has been, never was showbiz career, is the only thing remotely laughable about his latest comedy podcast. All he does is complain about people who have screwed him over while taking zero personal responsibility. It's exhausting to listen to.

His gripes are so specific. He would actually need to be Suttering John to understand them. It's not all bad, though. If you like hack jokes delivered with gusto by a passive-aggressive-aggressive alcoholic, this show's for you. I feel so bad for John's in-studio producer

and his partners and imagination road who actually put money into this abortion. Hey, John, if you read this, answer a question. If your Senate run was all a joke, why do you still have an active donate button on your Melendez for Senate website? Wouldn't soliciting funds for a bogus Senate bid be considered fraud? Wow.

Maybe you're a born politician after all. This guy fucking hits all the important points on there. Very impressive. Signed by the president of Imagine Road Entertainment, Royce. P.S. you're fired. Yeah. So, yep, that's the latest with John. I'm very happy to see Miss Judy back on the show.

and John has been rewatching my appearance with Husey because Dan from Nice Podcast Stupid was saying this was the big debate that we had I don't know why because I'm not Shully but for some reason they were asking me why Shulay doesn't change his show format since John's striking his channel and my whole point was never negotiate with terrorists just because someone is striking your channel

when they shouldn't be because it's all fair use doesn't mean you should change the way you lived your life life. And between John and Ava and Kianu and every other fucking numnuts that John talks to, no one could figure out what I was saying. They're like, what's Carl talking about? What does he mean? He doesn't know what he's talking about.

Aba today said she'd give me $50 to discuss my analogies with her. And I say, I will take your $50 and I will discuss my analogies with you, Ava. I like that she thinks I'm afraid of her. Like, oh no. Ava wants to debate me on something? Yes. The answer is yes, Ava. You don't have to ask.

give me $50. I mean, you said it, so I'll take it. But I'll email you. You won't email me. But let's set this up because I was just like, wow, Carl's analogy. I was explaining that Howard Stern change a show format and everyone hates it now. So I should truly change a show format that people enjoy. And they're like, you're comparing him to Howard Sterling?

People are retarded. They argue like John. You said the thing about terrorism. So we were talking about a terrorist attack. And they're like, what is he talking about? Where is he going with this? It's an analogy. It's an analogy.

I don't think it's actually 9-11. Right. I hope you didn't say active violence. I didn't say active violence. Thank God. People would have lost their minds on it. And the big joke being, how could you compare the Shulie show to the Howard Stern show? You weren't.

I wasn't. But also, he did work there for like a decade. So when you're just talking about random shows, it's not a crazy thing to say. Yeah, it's something that we all understand and can relate to because we all know what happened to this Howard Stern show and how it was good and then it got bad. Anyway, whatever. I don't have to discuss this with you guys. You guys get it. All right.

We got to get into some real business now, the important stuff. Is it weird or is it gay? What will they say today? Is it gay? What is happening? Megan, good to see you. What's up? What's up?

What's up? And Annie, good to see you as well. Oh, hello. It's good to see everyone. Good to see you. Thank you so much for coming on. We have an important round of Is it Gay. I hope I didn't use any of these clips because we were playing some Aaron's stuff today,

which we don't normally do on the show. Okay, good, because I was watching him call a lot of things gay, but that is his MO, so I wasn't surprised. All right, the way this game is played is that we are going to play a clip of Aaron setting up something, and then we have to figure out if that's something that he's setting up is gay or not, because Aaron has no creativity and thinks that calling something gay is peak comedy. And away we go. You can be independent. I make my own money.

I've got my own career, but as soon as you hear thump, oh my God, honey, you need to go down there and check it out. You know what the worst thing is is when you go down, and by the way, as a man, you should check out that sound. The worst thing is when you're a dude and you think, you know, the woman thinks she heard something and you got to go down and investigate

and you grab a bat or something like that and you're naked. And you're like, even if I beat the shit out of this guy and there's somebody in the house and I fuck him up, I'm doing it with my dick out. Okay. Is it gay to have your dick out when confronting someone who is breaking into your house?

Adam. It might be a misdirection, but I have to go with my cut here and say gay. Carl. I know it feels like a misdirection, but that is definitely gay. Yes. Chris. It's gay. Annie.

You got to do what you got to do, but it is gay. All right. Let's find out. There's something about this. that feels gay. Yep. Nailed it. I knew Aaron couldn't resist.

All right. Everyone gets the first round. Going to round two. Week from yesterday. So thank you very much. I appreciate your generosity. All you got to do today is hit like, hit subscribe,

and hit follow. Don Imuth says, why is Aaron missing four teeth? I'm only missing one tooth. Yeah. Just one. How dare you say I'm missing four teeth? I'm missing a tooth.

Now I'm sad. Now I don't feel like doing a show. I'm just... Is it gay to tease Aaron about his missing tooth? Annie. It is not gay. Chris. Not gay.

Carl. Is this the first time he's admitted to missing teeth? been speculated on this on this little piggy for months wow this is a big news um i'm gonna say it's not gay adam adam i'm gonna keep i'm gonna keep it interesting and go gay all right here we go kidding he's being gay oh oh and it picks up a point felt good who sent this into me someone pulled some drops for you adam i'll go for it and say i'm gay Or this one. I'm all gay.

Are they tapping my phone calls? I think so. Gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay. All right, well, Adam picks up a point on that one on all of us. Way to go. So now we go to round three. I feel like Adam's had some bad luck at this game recently, so I'm rooting for him. Thank you.

I appreciate that. All right. Let's keep it rolling. Is 40. 40 is what 40 does. It's what it is, was, and always will be. 40 is, I remember when my dad turned 40 and we threw a big party for them and people like, you're over the hill.

Fuck! I felt so young when that was happening. I feel young now. Like, that's the thing. You know, because I live my life in movie and music quotes, I think of the George Strait lyric in Trubedor often. I, you know, I still feel 25 most of the time. I don't, like, when I think of myself as almost 40, I don't get, I don't understand it.

I don't get it. I don't feel 40. I feel adventurous. Is it gay to feel youthful or adventurous when you are about to hit 40? Adam. I mean, when you say it like that.

However, I'm, I'm going to go with not gay. Carl. I got to go not gay on this one. Chris. Not gay. Annie. It's not gay, but it is pathetic. Okay, very good.

We got a consensus again. Let's see what happens. That was gay. Oh, God damn it. Megan's getting us with these. Well done with that. Oops. All right.

Well, now we're moving on to round four. And Adam still has a one-point lead on the rest of the group. Yum. I can make. you chugged your drink too much, you're a fat guy joke. He said, I'm sticky brown yum yum come guy. I'm not. Aaron.

It's the brown part that offends me most. You're a sock account. Post like a man under your real account. I don't watch. Don't hide your feelings. Don't hide your feelings. I don't watch your channel, Sean. Trial coverage is for old maids.

All right? If you're a 42-year-old woman, you can watch trial coverage. If you're a guy and you watch trial coverage... Is watching trial coverage as a man gay? Annie? Yeah, it's gay. Chris. Not gay.

Carl. It's gay. Adam. I'm gay. I mean, it's gay. I knew it. I've got bad news for you. You're gay.

All right. Aaron. Aaron. Wow. This is all from this week. Last week. This is all from last week. Wow.

This game is not affected. His ability to call things gay as it. He's having a very gay week. You think this would be in the back of his head. I got to stop calling everything gay. Nope. It can't stop himself. I think he cared about it for two, maybe three days.

And he's like, wait, caring about that's gay. Never mind. It's stopping yourself to say gay all the time, gay. All right, this is a round five. And what are the scores right now? Adam is leading with three. You and Annie are tied with two. All right.

Here we go, round five. Matt, this is probably some kind of hidden in here as I'm just flipping a blade open while I watch this. That's probably no good. That's probably something I should change. check on the fact that they're talking about bronies and i'm sitting here just flipping this thing open and closed open and closed that's probably uh what do they call that not psychosomatic it's down in here subvers it i know it's a community but like the media goes in and goes aren't these guys great aren't they wonderful this is normal this is them fucking softening us

this is the media being in on this shit. For a lot of people who don't have traditional communities. I mean, you can relate bronies to just about any other fandom. Swifties, Trekkies, Packers fans. Does Aaron think that Packers fans are gay? Oh, wow.

That's a good question. I'm hard. Chris. Yes. Carl. I know that he's a bike. king's fan and they're in the same division so i think he thinks packers fans are gay annie i think it's gay adam it's gay i like that one yeah because they're gay too i like

that one yeah packer fans are gay this guy just five hours in a row by himself sometimes he sucks all right we all got that one right he is right no one else doesn't show like him that's true uh i guess it was the word packers that made it too easy on that one yes i'm pretty sure all right to say it's gay yeah uh all right so we have now our uh what we call this round six the final round six we'll call us the final round and what the final round is is it's worth three points to anybody's game still and uh it's not just is it gay we're going to get some multiple choice and try to figure out what aaron is going to say about whatever the topic is in this clip?

I don't know. I've looked at Ohio. I've looked at Maine. Neither of them are as generous as Minnesota is when it comes to welfare. So it's almost like that could be a bunch of bullshit. Let's see what's going on in Ohio. The Somalians have it figured out in Columbus. I went to the Walmart on Georgia'sville to see if I could see people fill in their cards

or just kind of see what I could see. It's not the way they do it. It's a little fucked up, though, isn't it? I got to call this guy out a little. You just went to the Walmart to spy on Somali people? I think you played what I was going. I think you already played. Oh, that was my prompt right there.

He went to Walmart to spy on Somali people. Yeah. Okay. Wait, he didn't say anything about it yet. He did. He did? Oh. He did.

Did we ruin the game here? It's okay. Is it okay? Tell me what. Tell me what. I already forgot what he said. I think it was. Weird.

he didn't say anything about it did he am i missing it spying on somali people in walmart is it gay weird or fucked up yeah he didn't say any of those things all right we're good uh who goes first he did though he did no we didn't hear it oh well then well then you can guess and then well you can back it up okay Adam not gay because I didn't hear the word gay gay gay weird or fucked up yes oh fucked up Carl uh I'm gonna go weird Chris I went weird Annie uh gay all right now Meg I'm gonna hit play I'm pretty sure I pause at the right spot but let's find out okay I can back it up if this is wrong okay it's a little

fucked up, bro. See, I had it? He said it twice. I didn't realize it. Oh, okay. We didn't pick up on it because we didn't know what the prompts were going to be. Adam crushed it. Adam, congratulations, my friend.

It feels good. It feels good. I can't wait to tell my parents and everyone back at home. Yeah, if you want to call them now, I totally understand. But that's fine. That's fine. I almost pulled a clip for you, Megan. Opie was trying to remember the name of a chatter.

And he kept saying, is it Gale? Is it Gale? Is it Gail? All right, we got another fun game here. This is the Opie or Burr game. I'm your host, Simon, from the worst ever podcast. Everybody ready? Yes.

We're going to have so much fun. today, because we've got a lot of dandy clips. So let's try to figure out, is it? Topi or Bearer. Here's how the game works. I read a quote from either Greg Opie Hughes or William Frederick Burr. And then you guess, is it? Topi or Bearer.

You guys are really getting a hang of this. Let's play round one. I'll leave you with this point. 15 years of our lives wasted on Trump. What I mean by that is talking about Trump with your friends and your family and your coworkers. Time to register those votes. Oh, wow. That could go either way. I'm going to go Burr, because Burr has figured out that he's been wasting so much of his time. What do you think, Adam? I'm going with Burr. Annie? Opie. Megan. I was thinking

Burr. Producer Chris? Burr. All right, so Annie's the one, Opie. Let's find out. And here's the answer. I'll leave you with this point. 15 years of our lives

wasted on Trump. What I mean by that is talking about Trump with your friends and your family and your co-workers. List three things Opie doesn't have. Let's play round two. well, but.

I mean those tiny fucking mosquitoes. They're this fucking big. And the stinger on them is pretty much their whole body. I don't even know how they floy. How do you floy? Time to register those votes. Wow. That's another tough one.

I'll start with you, producer, Chris. Burr. Megan? I'll go Opie. I'm going to go burr. What do you think, Annie? Sounds like bur. Adam

Even how we pronounced it could be either one It's amazing I know it's great I gotta go burr Got to go burr All right Let's go And here's the answer

I mean those tiny Fucking mosquitoes They're this Fucking big And the stinger on them Is pretty much their whole body I don't even know how they fly How do you fly

Fucking mosquitoes How did they work Holy shit What's going on with is scoring in this game. I know Andy got the first round. What happened to that round? Megan got it.

Wow. Congrats, Megan. Ladies are killing us right now. I spend so much time listening to these people, both of them. So much time. This is crazy. How do they work? Round three.

Let's play. You know, I don't think that's the noise. But I like that little statico thing you're doing. That bab, bab, bab, bab. Time to register those votes. All right, Annie, what do you think? Is that supposed to be staccato? I don't know.

I'm going to go with Opie. Adam. Yeah, I have to go Opie because he's talking to someone. In the room, maybe. I'm going Bill Burr. What do you think, Megan? I'm going Burr also. Producer Chris?

Burr. All right. And here's the answer. I, you know, I don't think that's the noise, but I like that little statico thing you're doing that, ba-b-b-b-b-b-bat-b-bat-bat-bat-bat-bat-a-bed. Well-played. That's funny.

Yeah, Adam, I'm really disappointed at you, my friend. I have to rethink a lot of things in my life right now. Legato. Round four. Let's play. and some dog wanted to go outside and went ro-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-ro something like that. And they went, that's the fucking sound. That's the sound.

Do you drink ketamine? How does that work? Time to register those votes. Jesus Christ. I think it's opi. I'm going to go opi at this one, producer Chris. I went, Burr. I think it's a misdirect.

Adam? I'm going, Burr. Annie. Bair. Magin. I'll go, O'P. also. Thank you. I should be the only other one.

And here's the answer. And some dog wanted to go outside or something like that. They're like, that's the fucking sound. That's the sound. Do you drink ketamine? How does that work? Was I telling the truth with that barking, Adam? Round five. Final round. Let's play.

And I realized I didn't really like my girl that much because I, I crawled out of a window. Time to register those votes. Megan, what do you got? I'll go burr. Producer Chris? Opie. Adam. I'm going Opie. I'm going opi as well. Annie, what do you got? Burr? Let's go. And here's the answer. And I realized I didn't really like my girl that much because I crawled out of a window. What window did Opie crawl out of? Let's find out on another edition of

Opie's out, do you. Let me set the scene for you, producer, Chris. All right. Opie's just gotten into a car accident with Brother Wees. Oh, let's pick up the action. And then at that point, you realize how much you like your girl. It was me and Weez in the front, his wife in the back, my girlfriend, at the time in the back.

And I realized I didn't really like my girl that much because I crawled out of a window and basically said to her, like, you're on your own. I did a George Costanza. No, in all fairness, I think I did that because I was in complete shock because my face

hit the rearview mirror, breaking my nose. And then she died. Oh, Jesus. Congratulations. Congratulations to this week's winner. As part of our prize package, you may go to the creepoff.com and vote for Carl. Yes.

Simon from the worst ever. Opioca, join us next time. Goodbye. Thank you, Simon. Very well done. This game is evolving. I enjoy it. Who won this game?

What's the final score? I won. With three. Yes. Congratulations. Look at that. This is the show where everyone's a winner. Yeah, it's the duck pond.

All right. Guys, the fun doesn't stop there. You'd think, like, well, we can't keep having fun, right? There's no fucking way. I believe it or not, the fun keeps going. What a second? What is this? What is this link that I was sent by Cardiff?

I don't even think this is the right link. This is an hour and 34 minutes. Yeah, it's the beginning of the show. Yeah. Did he send me the wrong link, or is he fucking with me, or did I screw it up? Cardiff doesn't fuck with you. These are the, and I built that up so well, too. I know.

We're all going to be so excited. I'm still having fun. Oh, that's definitely the link he sent me. Son of a bitch. So either he fucked up or he's just fucking with me, which is very possible because Cardiff's kind of a jerk. But that means we have time for it. Is it Gale?

All right. Well, I have blue balls now because there is no to poke a damn. We're very disappointing, but we don't what we do have. Megan, I know that you like to check out people commenting on our Spotify episodes individually. Do you have any new comments on there that you like to read for us? Yes. We have a couple from episode 682 from last week. Still can't get over Miss Judy's reduction.

There's no justice in this world. That was so crazy that Miss Judy was talking about getting her breast reduce. Taiwanese women are doing this now. This world is out of control. I have to tell someone, I got 100% on Is It Gay? Good job, baby butters. Impressive baby butters. Good for you.

And then we have Scott saying, Harbor Fields actually has Opie as number eight in notable alumni, according to their Wikipedia page. Big of true. Number eight? Yikes. We know for a fact he's behind the guy who invented the Palm Pilot. That's true. That is true. Oh, boy.

Want to school. Andy, do we have any new reviews coming in? Yes, we have a new one coming in from P. Breezy, 45 Auto saying, dorks. Smile talking, nobody Carl Hamburger struggles with speech impediment while rehashing a stolen bit from former Ope and Anthony rodeo show. Every other podcast, he is joined by TV's Adam Bush, who provides insufferable whistling nostril when he's not talking. Seriously, Adam, get your septum undeviated. The only thing holding this show. together is producer Chris, who selflessly tolerates hamburgers buffoonery while keeping

iconic Simpsons references relevant. I like your buffoonery. Sounds like a five-star review. That's a five-star review. Very well done. Thank you so much for that review. It helps the algorithm. Don't forget to go give us five stars wherever you review podcast, probably Apple Podcasts.

I know Spotify you can rate and stuff like that. And, of course, comment all good things. We appreciate that. The second one, if you want to hear it. Please. Yeah. in from Cranberry Electric who leaves his reviews quite often. Actually, Carl, instead of reading Cranberry's review, I would like to expose the vile poo-eating

villain that you are. Carl has a dirty little secret, and he likes to send pictures of it to us review girls, which is why Vic and Casey left and many more followed. Producer Chris can and will confirm this. It's a well-known secret behind the scenes, but I'm not going to sit back in silence and allow this to continue, Carl. stop sending me pictures of your little willie and go to the doctor never back to the review cranberry says this show is AIDS okay well all of that was mean I'm going to go with

five star on that one no it's three stars you need to go to the doctor Carl all right good news everyone Cardiff tuxed me he made a mistake we have the game now it's time for everyone's favorite new game show To poke, a dabbler. What do you say, Carl? And co-host. Are you ready to poke? A dabbler?

Dustin S. Thanks, five bucks. Sean, do you realize you have zero self-waring it? You do realize you'll never be relevant again. So, everybody, you're no longer famous. See, this is the kind of thing that I don't need it for motivation. but this is the kind of thing that I like to hear only because let's say

that if my plans work out I do become relevant again and leave this cesspool of ridiculousness this person right here Dustin S I won't forget it

Because I will say to that, I will laugh inside at this kind of comment. Because if anything that you've learned from me, for the last 35 years that I've been in the entertainment industry, I'm a man that always surprises and gets things done. I've got to pause this real quick. His camera is so bad, it looks like Dr. Katz, like that squiggle vision thing that's going on. This is 2023. Someone has a camera this bad. And the stink lines add some movement.

That's true. His skin is browner than Cardiff's. Okay. I've had the best career pretty much out of anyone that has been a staff member on the tonight. night show. Okay. Billy West also, great. Scott Iinsica did well.

But if you look at all the different things that I've done, I've done it because I believe in myself. I work hard. I'm ambitious. And I'm not going to let someone

tell me like you are, Dustin, that I'll never be relevant again. What did John say next? Here are your choices. Number one, wait for it. B, what have you ever done, Dustin?

Next. If I'm not famous, why are there 30 shows about me? Four, just five years ago, I proved you wrong. And lastly, you don't even know the definition of the way. word relevant. Let's look it up. A dablin. All right.

I was going first. I wanted to be four, I just proved, just five years ago, I proved you wrong because I think he'd be referencing the prank call to Trump on that one.

What do you think, Adam? Yeah, we've heard four of these in real time. Like he said them. It's so tough. I got to go with B. What have you ever done, Dustin? Okay.

I appreciate that. Annie, what do you think? Next, if I'm not famous, why are the 30 shows about me? Yep. Which today's, there's 100, so. Right. Megan, what do you think? I also thought B, what have you ever done, Dustin?

All right, producer Chris, what do you got? I went with one. Wait for it? I think this is before the wait for it, Erra, but let's find out. No, that's the I'll wait. Oh, okay, good point. I work hard. I'm ambitious.

and I'm not going to let someone tell me like you are, Dustin, that I'll never be relevant again. Just five years ago. I proved you wrong, Dustin. What an idiot. I didn't think Cardiff could come up with that. It's too stupid.

I was relevant when I prank Trump. Yeah. Yeah. I was all over the news. If you Google it, you'll see all the, fucking stories about it. That's called being relevant. I had an hour-long

conversation with Kathy Griffin after it. That's called being relevant, because Kathy Griffin doesn't want to talk to you unless you're relevant. So not true. She's shallow. Scowl! That's all for this time. Come back next time to find out if you

are man enough to poke a dabbler. Brought to you by patreon.com.com slash Cardiff Electric and Hackamania. Get your tickets now for Hackamania at hackamania.com using promo code JT. WGG. Good dog.

Everyone wants to go to Hackamania. Again, I was listening to John today. And Kianu and Ava and John were all discussing whether they would all go to Hackamania and observe what's going to happen. Please do. Please come to Hakimania. I heard that Keanu and her mom wanted to come and wear disguises. Yes, they're going to dress up in disguises because, you know, who knows what those rowdy hackomania attendees would do if they saw Keanu and her mom there.

Get her. People are so stupid. Annie, what are you promoting today? What are you up to? I would like to promote my friend Spurksnakeshack's channel. He just got super tips. So next time he streams on Monday night, go over to Spirksnakes channel on YouTube. Just type it in.

You'll find it. What does Spurksnake do? He does a game show night. He covers Wheel of Fortune and Family Feud as well as a couple of other games if and when his computer will run it. That's awesome. We're a big family feud guy as everyone knows. It's very important to me. Adam, anything to promote my friend?

Later this week, I'll be appearing with Echo Pineapple and we'll be dissecting Joey C. Just the time for Christmas. Excellent. Looking forward to that. on the Eccles channel? Mm-hmm. Guess we'll listen to some voicemails to get out of here? Mm-hmm.

All right. It's a bunch of crap. Swing in a mid. Rock and roller. That's right. It's the Gary and San Diego voicemail segment. Starts with Ronnie and Syracuse. Hey, Carl, Ronnie and Syracuse.

Love you, love the show. Listening to the last episode of the midweek, where John told us without any apologies that he's an alcoholic. But it's a functioning alcoholic, so that's okay. But, I mean, this is a bombshell. John says, yeah, I'm an alcoholic, but so what? Let's move on. It's not a big deal.

I can't even believe it, man. This is huge. Don't call me back. Chad doesn't know what he's saying. Oh, he doesn't remember that. Yeah, he doesn't know. And he really does think putting that word in front of it doesn't mean alcoholic. Yeah.

Totally changes everything about it. Hey, he's listening to the last show with Nice Dogg. you had the Howard Turn segment back and back with the Ophus segment. Yeah. And it really was tonnish. Like, I don't know. First time I really, really thought about it, they're not the fucking same in talent these days.

Like, there's not a wide margin between 2025 Howard and, I mean, Howard's obviously still technically better, but really? I mean, that's why much. I'm interested in what your thoughts are. on that later yeah that's a good point that's a good point okay uh that is a good point that uh opi and howard are both unlistenable at this point because i listen to these howard clips it's tedious it's the hardest thing to to listen to and pull clips of they're both very isolated

opi's more entertaining i would say at this point to some degree yeah actually yeah yeah you're right hey shout out Doug his joke about John looking for a middler but he's starting to look like that middler yeah that was fucking that's that's a nice piece of business right there man keep it up yeah Doug a good time's great movies on the show this past weekend and uh crushed it he's always great on here Carl it's Croh and this is how I talk producer Chris often says but the second track on an album is very good. I've noticed that. It's pretty true.

Do you have a question, though? If the first track is a bit of an intro that leads into the second track, so the first real song, did that rule apply to the third track or the second song, or does it apply to the second track in the first song? And one other thing. Bring back the fucking musical episode. It's not even a joke.

I have that Eddie Nebula song on my podcast. playlist, spend your money. That shit's good. Bring that show theme back, put the end of the year. Go fuck yourself. Thanks. That's a song I wrote for writing Nebula. What do you guys think? Music Special Part 2? We're overdue

for it. It might be tired. Everybody loves it. Chris, any thoughts on the second track of an album being the best track, but sometimes it's just an intro as the first track? That's a little convoluted. Good answer. All right. Hello, this is the restaurant owner at Subway.

the Danesville, New York location. I just wanted to say we got the demo tape for the isidopes. I don't know. I listened, and I don't, I think y'all might be more Quiznose quality if you catch my drift. So, I don't know, maybe give them a call and see about playing your, I mean, who has a band with no singer, you know? but whatever go fuck yourself okay well that's disappointing

I was hoping to play some subway gigs but I think Quiznos are they still around I don't think they are whatever let's see what is Carl you're right

it is weird that John would do a show for 20 people in the middle of nowhere four hours from an airport you know do you have the date for Christian there's kind and it'll tell to you there it is

yeah I saw that one would come from a mile away and I was like no that need to to be played. Where's he Cohen with it? That is true. I was thinking the same thing when Keanu said. I'm just going to go and observe. Right. Something that they did not want Schizochian doing. Nope. They were very upset about that. And if you attend, it's your event now. Right. D. Lux. Conan. Carl D. Lux. Who is this loser? Dan? I just saw a

Husey show. Holy. He stinks. Get this guy out of here. What the hell is he even talking about? Oh, my God. I hate this guy. And on top of it all, he's talking shit about Kodak. Yep. I think he knows he was trolling you, Rochester. All right, peace. Yeah, I think he knew what he was doing. There's a Kodak skateboard up behind my head.

Oh, we can see that. All right. This is, we're talking about game shows a lot today. Game show special when? When are we going to get nothing to game shows to live from the Syracuse sex, all that you live in. You don't live in Syracuse.

You live in Rochester. True. I realize a mistake I made just then, but you know, game show special. Games! Play some games, Kyle! For fuck's sake! That's a great idea.

Years and years ago, Meen Doug, who, by the way, it'll be on WTP after Christmas, Meen Doug and Kaya, the three of us were chatting about starting a new podcast together. And I was like, I want to do a game show podcast, and I had all these kinds of ideas. We never got around to it.

But that's a great idea. Maybe we'll do a bonus show or something. Or maybe I'll just have to do a WTP. It will just play games from now on as long as Cardiff produces them. Simon. Live dabble dice. Yeah. This is actually who's going to work out really well for me.

I got Megan and Simon and Cardiff. I just show up and hit buttons. Great team was calling in. Oh, hoi, hoi, hoi, great team is here. Judy, Judy, Judy, Judy, Judy. Oh, yeah. Anyway. Hi, Megan.

And hi, my best friend in the whole world, Adam Bush. I miss you. Love you. Call me back. Maybe we'll see you at Hackamania again this year, the great Seamus. Always good to see you, my friend. I hope so. This is a fun Limerick.

Producer Chris, you into Limerick's at all? Yeah. This one's for you. Hi, this is Limerick Guy, calling in with your weekly Limerick. There was a producer named Chris. whose shoulders just didn't exist. One night he felt reckless and put on a necklace, and it flitted right on down to his wrist.

This has been your weekly limerick. It's not bad. It's not bad. Yep. I like it. Last one. Of all the people, most likely to end up in an insane asylum in 2026, of being Kiki, John, Karmic, Mr. M.K.E.

Or Gino, I would like to predict that Gino is the closest to the edge, this guy's cracking up, whether it's substance abuse that'll come on or just a trip to an insane asylum. Gino is losing it, and he's a loser. Yeah, I'm worried about those, too. You know, the big news that came out was the $32,000 in debt. They have to American Express, and I was like, wow, they owe $32,000. If that's just American Express, you can only imagine what else is going on.

It's not usually like, well, we are in debt with that one credit card. Right, yeah. But we pay all our other bills. strangely obsessed with that one credit card. Yeah, it's usually not how that goes. But John Jimingo wants to produce my game show podcast. Well, maybe this is our last ever episode at WATP. Okay.

This is how I find out. What am I? Some surprises. It's been a good rod. I got to go. Bye. I got to go. I got to go.

I got to go. This was supposed to be a short, short episode, wasn't it? Chris? Yep. This is Nate from Flint, Michigan. And guess what? This voicemails over. Go fuck yourselves.

Have a good week. That was a great episode. That was really great. Okay, bye. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday, Carl. Every birthday, Chris. Happy birthday, Chris.

Thank you. And Carl.