Who Are These Podcasts? - Ep685 - Ronakuh Day, Opie, Stuttering John, Brendan Schaub

Episode Date: December 21, 2025

This week we’re recording at the Nobody Likes Onions studios in sunny Las Vegas. We start off with Opie who is in a very bad mood because Christmas costs money and Opie doesn’t appear to have any cash on hand. But Ron the Waiter more than makes up for it by being in an amazing mood in anticipation of Ronakuh - the livestream where he’ll get all of the superchats and Opie will deliver additional dollars (but not a 1 to 1 match because that’s probably illegal).  Patrick Melton cohosts the episode as we transition into Brendan Schaub claiming he finally “gets it.” His new strategy is to lean into the hate and he’s absolutely terrible at it. He’s somehow proud of his terrible special because he was new at comedy and his friends are very funny guys. Huh? Stuttering John is planning yet another lolsuit against Chad Zumock and Kevin Brennan; it couldn’t be more of a nothing burger. We finish up with a round of “To Poke A Dabbler,” the Internet News, and your voicemails.  Watch this episode here: https://youtube.com/live/wjFnnGVBzsc Patrick’s show: https://www.nobodylikesonions.com/  Support us, get bonus episodes, and watch live every Saturday and Wednesday: ⁠http://bit.ly/watp-patreon⁠ ⁠https://watp.supercast.tech/⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I told them in the strongest of words to just do it. You see, this is a, we just do it kind of show. Episode 685. Are you a boner guy? Oh, I was a boner guy. You know what? I missed penis. What are you talking about? I'm the one who should apologize.

Is it going to be absolutely riveting? Is it going to change your life by any stretch? Probably not. but it's going to be at least entertaining, okay? By the way, for those people that are in the back, remember to shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up, asswife, and suck my cock. I've been dying to say that.

Cuzz. Cuzzaroo. Capparoonie. It's showtime. W-A-T-P. Oh, the ATB. Hello, everybody's a cousin of this podcast. The only show broadcasting live from Pulper Fest.

I'm your host, Carl, the $850,000 man with me this week, a man who broke into this house so we could use the studio from. Nobody likes onions and this little piggy. It's Patrick Melton. I didn't break in. I pay rent. No producer Chris today. He is on assignment.

You have just the two of us live from Las Vegas. Please go to Who Are These.com. Get our email address, voicemail number, link to their subreddit, link to our Discord server, link to our merchandise, link to our YouTube channel, and that link to Patreon on Supercast, featuring two exclusive bonus episodes every single month. We have a bonus episode out that is Suthering John living in the past episode 18,

another fantastic journey into John's podcasting from 2018, 2017, and 2016, long before the Dabbleverse existed. We can find out what he was up to. It's a fun escape from the Dabbleverse, where you see that John deserved this all along. Hackamania 3, have I talked about this? Probably not. Can you hear about this?

Hackamania 3 is happening. Hack in the future. Go to hackamania.com. Use promo code WATP. You know, you can't save more money than with promo code WATP. That's true.

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It's just wild. It's really, Ellie. That was funny. Yep. So, yeah, get your tickets. Hackmedia.com, promo code WATP. And if you miss out, man, you're just going to have yourself to blame. Yep.

Nobody wants to have themselves to blame. You will regret it. Reincurs our listeners, give us a five-star review on Apple Podcasts and then shit all over us in the comment section. Today, we'll be reviewing the Opie Radio podcast, the, fighter and the kid and stuttering job before we begin how's your pulper fast going patrick playing poker uh eating expensive food at all the casino restaurants you bought you bought a dinner the other night thank you very much you're very welcome uh you and pat dixon we were hanging out uh lucy's

tightbox was here yeah we got a nice dinner coming up tonight but i i've uh really enjoyed playing poker with you yeah it's been great i've actually up i haven't yeah i wasn't up the first night i won $12. I paid $25 to park. Well, you were up when I left. So you went back and lost money. Is that you telling me? No, I, I, uh, the first night. Yeah, the first night. Remember we all had like made 70 bucks or 50 bucks or something? I was up a bit. I went back and, uh, yeah, I won 12 bucks. I paid 25 to park. Last night I was down about 300, turned it around, walked out of there with 150. So I'm up 100 with parking. Doesn't that feel like winning 450 though? Yeah, you already realize

like you're down 300. Of course. So, anything you make on top of that. I was in a hole. So I feel great. That's awesome. Well, Pulper Fest is a giant success. I can report on that right now with no hyperbole. All right, Paddy. Well, let's get right. I did lose $50 on the Jake Paul fight. Oh, right. You told me you were betting that. You got him seven to one and it was 11 to 1. Yeah, they told me it was 11 to 1 for Jake Paul, the odds on Jake Paul because nobody thought he was going to win. And I didn't either. But 11 to 1 is pretty good odds. So I went over and I went to put $100 on it. and they were like, oh, the odds have changed seven to one.

Because everyone was slamming. Everyone thought it was fixed. Yeah, everyone was betting on Jake Paul. And, uh, big sense. So it was seven to one. So I lowered my bet to 50. And, uh, good move. Got knocked out in the sixth round.

Yeah. You're not paying attention to that nonsense that's going on. All right. Well, I think that's a, a pretty good report from Pulper Fest. That's what's going on. They're not going to get a better report from Pulper Fest. Don't worry about me dabbing live, whatever Pat Dixon's talking about. We got the scoop on it.

He didn't. know anything. Let's talk about opi. I know you love yourself some opi. I love it. Because there's never been a greater like downfall of a person. This is a guy who could have gone away when he was done with his show. and it would have been his reputation and his reputation would have been preserved people would argue how good he was on the opin anthony show right so we would say this some people would say that right and he has gone i want you to remember me by me fizzling out which i love and i love suttering john because he also had a career in show business for so long but john was never the reason to show existed right Howard stir would have been howard stern j leno would have been j leno without stuttering john ever being a part of it well it's one of my favorite quotes of opi and this is when i knew he was he was insane was a couple years ago he said if i would have never met Anthony, I would have been way bigger. Yes. Which is one of the most insane things I've ever heard a man say. God damn it. If we're for his racism, I would have really taken off in show business.

So Opie has really climbed his way down the ladder. And he starts off his show every morning before the sun comes up and he's singing a little song and he's welcoming everyone to the show. Good morning and welcome, welcome, welcome. All is welcome to the Opie Radio podcast. I woke up with this thought. What happens to Nick Reiner's Hanukkah Gifts? See, I don't see you laughing over there, but here's why that's funny.

You see, in the great-muror- In the grand scheme of things, the Hanuket gifts really don't matter. You know, it's neither here nor there. yeah and opi's going to go is this guy going to get the socks yeah or what's going to happen who's feeding the dog good stuff opi good stuff i love that he had no time this one i do like that he's moved away from the adams family oh right yeah he's got he's he's doing i can't see me loving it yeah no he's he's always got a tune in his head and ready to entertain us you're ready for topic number two that was topic number one is he

going to elaborate on that nope that was the joke that's it it's going to do uh topic number two this is big topic of the show. Is anyone else feeling the stress? I'm feeling the stress. I think today's the day. This is the cutoff. This is the cutoff for us procrastinators. You've been looking online for Christmas gifts, Hanukkah gifts. Today's the cutoff. Pretty much if you don't get your order in today, it's not going to be delivered in time for Christmas. Today is the day. I'm feeling the stress. Is anyone else feeling the stress of this? Or is everything just just great out there. What day is this?

This is the 19th. This is yesterday. The 19th of the December, Opie's feeling stressed about Christmas. Christmas is Thursday, correct? Yeah. Does he not, like, first of all,

anything on Amazon, two days max. Yeah. But you can get overnight chipping on a lot of stuff. Or you can step outside your apartment on the other side of Manhattan. Is it a store?

There's like a lot of retail. The world is at your doorstep. Yeah, there's a lot of retail near Opie, but he's stressed out. about the holidays because he's a procrastinator. Now, the thing that we've been learning about Opie, especially in the last few months, is he's cash poor and it's ruining his life.

He complains about it nonstop. And so he hates Christmas. He hates the holidays. And he does this thing where he does the inner voice thing or like the voice of the heckler, like Jim Gaffigan did one of his crutches when he came up. Opie does this all the time. It's humming your Christmas songs.

Oh, isn't this great? I love Christmas. Everything is fun. There's no stress. No anxiety. Everything is working out great. Ugh. What's great about opies.

He has no job. He's got nothing to do all day. And he gets stressed out over Christmas. Like, you know, the rest of us work and by presents that are prepared. I'm going to pitch a Christmas movie where Opie switches places with Ron Berman. Because he wants that carefree life. be like you're so lucky you don't have anybody to talk to you don't have to put up a tree you it's the dream yeah just sit alone you just home with your gay roommate celebrating hotica it must

be amazing family's a burden so opi gets stressed out i don't know if you saw this recently but it was his wife's birthday yeah and then not long after that it was his daughter's birthday and he bought his daughter an iphone and that was like three episodes of just stressing out over these birthdays that he had to be prepared for it's like yeah the rest of my like celebrate people's birthdays at our families and build through all this shit. And we also have other responsibilities on the side. So it's like talking to, you know,

your dad after he retires and like, that would you been up to? Oh, so busy. Do you really so busy? Do you really think his financial situation is so bad that buying an iPhone is like, that's a hit to the monthly budget? Like, do you really? I have evidence of it. We have evidence coming up. I just can't imagine this guy

doesn't have millions and millions in the bank. He doesn't. He's not liquid at all. He has these properties and refuses to sell them. Multi-million dollar apartment here in Manhattan. And he hates it there. Right. He complains about it all the time. Sell it. Is he only have the two properties? So he claims to have a place in Philly too. His wife's from Philly. Got it. So I don't know if that's like her family, but he's got the House in the Hamptons on the beach. Sell one of them. What are you doing? I have a feeling that. So the kids are in private school in Manhattan. I have a feeling that the wife is going, no, no, no, we have to stay in Manhattan for the kids.

Because if it was up to Opie, he'd live at the beach year round. Yeah, because this house is sitting empty most of the time. Yes. Out in the Hamptons. Yep. The real estate market is about to trend downward hard, as all the experts say. It's time. It's time to let it go.

The property taxes, what are he doing? Well, Opie has decided he's finally going to take care of Ron Berman. Now, Ron is Ron the waiter. and he's been the sidekick on the show for a while now. And Ron, as we all know, doesn't have a lot of money. He lives in a kind of shitty apartment in Astoria. And, you know, we've seen his bed. We've seen his bedroom.

He shows us the place. It's really low drop ceilings. It's surprising. I didn't see the new bed. I heard you mentioned that he got a new bed or a new mattress. Yeah. I haven't seen that, but I did see the old one. It's crazy.

So Obie has decided he's going to have a day called Rodica. And it was supposed to be this past Thursday, but I guess it's moving to Monday. and Ronica's the day where all the super chat money goes to Ron but there's more to it than that Opie claims you're going to go above and beyond to get Ron even more money on top of what he makes

on super chats. Okay. Because Rod goes, will you match it? Ron's like, yeah, you know what do you double it? Putting Opie at the spot so it was like, yeah, I guess. This could be dozens a dollar. I know. You're going to find out what you made on this episode a little while. But first, Opie announces

Ronica and has all sorts of technical issues unfortunately. This is an important information going to do a little something something on the other side because everyone's going to be like you hope you're skating you ain't given nothing no that's not well i will uh i will contribute handsomely as they say okay because i don't know if i'm allowed to say that i'll match i don't know if that's in the official rule you're doing in private i can't hear nothing ohpy hi ron dude you're going in and out with your volume What do you mean?

I'm going in and out. I thought we were having an idea. That's why I said there's tech issues on this. I didn't want you to be like, oh, shit, start rerouting things on the board. Yeah, so Opie's audio is cutting out as he's talking about Ronica. Now, you might have heard something that he said in there. And he said this last time he brought this up. He's not sure, according to YouTube's terms of service,

that he's allowed to match the amount in Super Chess to give to Ron. We'll have to call him through the term. No, Patrick. In what world does YouTube police the amount of money two friends exchange with each other? Don't let us catch you doing that. You better private your vetmo because we're watching it. What is this money to Ron Berman? Explain yourself.

Did he expect Ron to get scared and be like, yeah, you better not. You better not match that. That's the only thing I could figure. He's like, Ron, I want to give you more money. I just don't know if it's legal. My hands are tied. Yeah, I don't lose my channel over it. Rod's like, oh, don't lose your channel over it.

Please, that would be terrible. and then by the way this Tony's here yeah is Tony Tony doesn't get anything so Tony's now a new part of the show and he's just like yeah so Monday's Rodica it's Rod Day right and so he's just like cool all right

you're new here you're gonna have to you're gonna have to you're not vested you don't get a share of the profits by Tony P is a stand-up comic open describes as very funny comic he's drinking out of a coffee mug that says coffee makes me poop yeah it's got a photo of poop on it's a direatic it's good stuff pretty funny pretty clever it's a scientific mug pretty pretty clever stuff all right so i'm going to go to ron has to remind everyone that monday is ronica because opi was breaking in and out when he was

explaining this ron's very excited about this monica day starting at six every super chat again will go to ron and then i will do something at the uh at the end of that i'm not skating i'm not I'm not sitting here, you know, giving nothing. Trust me. All right. So that would be Monday. That's all we need that. We're done with that for now, Ron.

We only got a 45 minutes. We got shit to do. Hope his door guy doesn't see this. Yeah, wait. He's getting the super champ money. I don't get anything. What the fuck? So Opie's trying to both look like he's taking care of his guys.

Yeah. But also complaining about taking care of his guys. Right. At the same time. So it's not a good look. It's not helping him. Wait until dinner tonight. Oh, you're ordering that?

Jesus. Yeah, I'm better to have an appetite. It just looked good on the menu, Patrick. Hope you don't mind. Ronica then gets super chatted and Opie gets annoyed by this because now people are excited about Rodica. Homer junkies and happy Ronica. No, and Ronica's Monday.

Well, you start to the loss of Krista. Have you heard of? This is why I have to keep talking about it. You got to write down the tabs, Ron. Write down. This one has to keep talking about it. Everyone thinks Ronica's Day today. It's Monday.

All right. October, you can't read the rest of your fucking, you know, uh, comment. Is Ron decided to just start babbling over the, over me reading your chat? It was about me.

How much did I get? You, it's too late, Ron. You were babbling. Once again, you're babbling it. Ope's not having fun with this.

Yeah. He's literally pissed off in Rod for talking. He's like, oh, money, money, you're going to earn it today. Yes. Opie is.

that Ron's babbling. I've got to start watching this every day again. It's fun. Because it's madness. It's madness. Now watch this. Ron continues to get lectured by Opie. Blue Christmas.

Jesus, Opie. The guy had a $5 chat for you, and he had something else to say in there that would have been good for the discussion today. But then you started battling. I'm good. This boy,

a little boy. Can we read what the fans say about me? It's too late. It's too late. Wow. This guy has never lived in the real world. No. You guys were talking about this, I think a week ago or so, but like he doesn't know how to interact with normals. No. He doesn't know how to come down from his high castle and and mix it up with the plebs. And it's funny because he thinks he's the common man now. He thinks is the voice of the common man.

He's against taxes and cost of living expenses. Everything annoys him. Everything annoys him. Meanwhile, these guys are just regular slubs and they get shit on nonstop and it rolls right off. Oh, come on, you're just a child. Yep. Opie is trying to be the common man and speak, you know, have our voice in mind. And so he's talking about the stress of Christmas. It's driving him crazy. I'll be honest with you because I'm bopping back and forth because I'm feeling the stress of Christmas.

The stress is driving me absolutely insane. And I'm a, I'm a procrastinator. Today is the cutoff day. If you don't get your orders in, you're not going to get the packages in time for fucking Christmas and you know I I I can't sit here and make believe that adults like Christmas we don't we don't we don't like it I mean Disney adults like Christmas there are a lot of adults that like Christmas from where can you not order something or get something someone was told him that he freaked out like what it's my last day to order stuff fuck he's not prepared for

that information yeah so this is uh this is stressing him out and on top of that so it's bad enough he has to order all his christmas stuff today on top of that there's another reason why he hates christmas this is actually the real reason why he hates christmas the city drops the fucking city tax bill at the end of the year right around christmas it's like they can't even figure out that most people are stressed out and maybe you should maybe maybe maybe delay the dropping of the city tax bill oh my god that of course Of course it's stressful to be an adult. Have you seen these restaurants?

Right after you finish your meal, you're full. You feel like you're bloated. They drop the checkoff. They want you to pay right in that next week. This is what's so funny is that Opie's complaining because he can't budget like an adult. He's like, you know, they have to pay my taxes? Like at this specific time, like, yes, the end of the year. Yeah.

Kind of make sense, actually. And not for nothing. Living in New York City does suck. They do nickel and down. you and the tax is below nobody told you had to live there no you lived in new york you know how it is yeah i got new york state tax you got new york city tags yeah i left new york because i said this insane right it's stupid for some reason uh opi i mean you can tell the reason why i stressed it not because it's the last day you can get presents because he has no money right he wouldn't have

brought up that i just i find it so hard to believe you said there's going to be proof here oh yeah but like how is he not squirled away and invested money like you know how much do you think he made over his career okay any estimate okay so um i mean when they're when they're on serious they're making two million a year or three million a year i've heard that's the the range okay but he had he's multi million so 10 years before that of that nine years of that yeah and then add in what he was making on any w and i mean they right once they went into cbs yeah syndication right like so he he should have put away 10 million dollars no i think he did so anthony has said this like opi does not spend money

He always put his money away. The problem is he's paying for a New York City apartment, the Hampton's place, and it's just like slowly draining out of his money because there's no income coming in. And he said this on his show a few months ago. He goes, I think I have five,

six years and then I need to get a job. Well, it goes to your point because it's like, he's talking about stressing out over Christmas and stuff. It's like, you don't have a job. What do you have to do all day? Go buy presents. Yeah.

You have all day every day to just. just go shop his kids are in school right his wife definitely wants him to fuck off and get out of the house so it's like yeah just and you can walk there you can walk down the street yeah anything you want yeah put the phone down for a minute and stop making fun of a homeless man and dip into one dip into one of these stores no no there were some ages i had a prank at the park so i buy my wife a coach bag she wants a coach bag all right so um open he's in a really grumpy mood he's really pissed off about christmas coming up and having no money and he's just mad at everyone talking about taylor swift yesterday she

gave out a hundred and a hundred and ninety eight a hundred and ninety eight million dollars in bonuses and everyone's like oh this taylor swift she's such a great lady i thought about after we finished yesterday ron she could go screw too because she got most of that money off her fucking fans that were saving up and having lemonade stands for years to hopefully get enough money for our ticket in the nosebleeds to see this taylor swift i take you know what taylor smith makes her money from her fans what a bitch shouldn't her tickets be ten dollars it doesn't make any sense opie how did you make money from serious oh from the fans i can't i can't wait until he finds out about ticket master and what they're doing you know what

this ticket master's doing they're buying up all the so opi is trying to be the common amazing taylor swift gave out a hundred ninety million dollars in bonuses so it's like wow that seems really generous but opi's just like well that's because she has a lot of money well yeah but she could just kept it so i think it's pretty nice that she would do that but opi's the common man he's the voice of the people you know we all have to sit here and fucking take it and i'm sick of it so i'm gonna yell and scream for the common man holy sure he's like oh my god look how nice she was she gave out a hundred ninety eight million dollars in bonuses that means she made a bill okay i used to think the problem was he for sure he doesn't know how to relate to these guys

right but they also don't know how to relate to him uh you know when you think about the opening anthony show like it was a room full of millionaires and jim norton this this kind of stuff would work jim norton's probably he did he did not right but it took a while but like you know like this kind of stuff would work when they would like rag on poor people or these fucking homeless are disgusting it would work of course but like these guys are just sitting there going like what is this guy talking about right he's trying to relate to that man going on can you believe that Taylor Swift made a billion dollars. Like, yeah, she's the most famous pop star on the planet. Of course she made a billion dollars. Yeah, she had a giant tour and a movie that

came out. Yeah, she made a lot of money. Who's mad about that, by the way? He's cranky. A pop star made a lot of money. Her fan seemed to be super happy to wait in line or to take out a new credit card or to travel around the world to line up to see her show for thousands and thousands of dollars. Opie's mad that no one's doing that for him anymore. Also, the idea that they had lemonade stands. So now we say like Taylor Swift fans are all eight years old. Right. Which is not the case. Right. I know a lot of adults. They're all 38.

Yeah, unfortunately, I know a lot of adult Swifties. And can you believe they had to do a lemonade stand in order to make enough money to buy a purchase a ticket? Yeah. All those adults are, she had an album named 1989. You can do the math. Exactly.

All right. So I want to remind you that, again, this is on the 19th of December. This is FU Friday. Okay. Now, Patrick, you familiar with FU Friday? I thought who demand was on Friday. Nope, no, who demand? Well, who demands an ongoing bit?

That can be any day of them. I got it. FU Friday is just for Fridays. And that's when you tell off whoever's bothering you. He couldn't give the trademark for Whipp him out Wednesday anymore. Didn't let's wait on Wednesday. So they used to have, what was the call-in line they had? The F-U line, right?

Yeah, it was the F-U line, right? People would just, like, call in and leave voicemails. Like, my boss is raging contouring. Okay, cool. So I guess he's trying to recreate that. Okay. With the FU Friday. And Opie's got a great FU Friday for us today.

And, you know, my FU is simple. FU to RFK Jr's voice. Good stuff, Opie. All right. A little scratchy. Got him. Scratchy. I get it.

I hate to be RFK Jr. right now. Fuck. It got me good. All right. I'm sure you've heard the news about the Kennedy Center. being renamed to the Trump Kennedy Center? No, I had not. Okay, so Donald Trump is out there renaming things.

I unsubscribe from the newsletters. Smart. Donald Joe was apparently renaming things. Okay. And Opie's pissed about it, but it always comes back to the fact that Opie is a poor. It's named the Kennedy Center because he was assassinated. It's in memoriam to him. I think you need congressional approval.

He didn't let the people who are going to dissent. does one congresswoman they muted her mic he couldn't just said the same way they renamed the tapancy bridge when they renamed the tapancy bridge to the whatever the hell it is the quomo something bridge yeah that's nobody cares that new york is going to call it the tap and z i still call it the tap and z i still call the 59 street bridge the 59 street bridge it don't fucking matter what the hell it's called i just make it a big deal and people go crazy a hundred percent the reason why I did with you're a fucking Kennedy. And the reason we're so bothered by this stuff is because everything,

everything has cost us right fucking more out there. Our gas prices are out of control. And so when stuff like this pops up, you're like, oh, this is what you're focused on to rename the Kennedy Center, the Trump Kennedy Center. How about you lower our,

our fucking bills? Is that what the government's supposed to do? Lower our bills. They're music today. I know. Opie's missing the mark so badly on this one. This is going to blow your mind. I still call it Twitter.

I do. Is that wild? We're old men. Yeah, it really is like just an aversion to change, right? Like, it's just like, why they got to go and change it? Well, no, but Opie's complaint is that they should be fixing gas prices. Right, because those two things cost the same. Right, right.

Those are like, one of my priorities today. Gas prices or rename the center. Hello, the petro dollar. So I just wanted to show that Opie's missing the market. And, you know, my afternoon. Because I look this up and you can see gas prices peaked in June of 2022. Yeah. This is the average across the United States.

And this graph goes all the way back to the 90s. Sure. So you can see it's fluctuate a lot. But it's way down from where it was. And actually about the range it's been for the last 10 years. Also, where does he go? He drives out to Long Island and comes back. Right.

And drives up to Long Island and comes back. Yeah. He lives in Manhattan. Like, gas shouldn't even be a big expense. for you. There's public transportation. Right. I don't know why you're driving anywhere if you're going somewhere in the city. Right. So Opie picked the wrong thing. It's like, oh, you're going to rename the Kennedy Center and gas price. We're paying too much for eggs. That would have actually made more sense if he would have said eggs killed. But they're also down. So that also would make

no sense. But why would Opie know any of this? He doesn't. And so I get props to these guys. And even Ron the Wada, who's a big Democrat and a Trump hater, even he realizes that's a really dumb argument. Three dollars or good or bad? Is that good or bad? $3 should be in the low twos. And then I'll start thinking it's good. In 1970s.

But we can get it down in the low twos. So OPE's, you know, common man missing the mark yet again. Gash, you'd be in the low twos. Based on what? That'd be nice. What I would feel like? I guess that'd be cool. But what are you basing that on?

This should be in the low twos. What's the last time that was the case? In high school, I remember filling up for 91 cents in Florida, in central Florida. Would you have a moped? No, but I remember 91 cent a gallon gas. No shit. There was a period of my, when I was in high school. Wow.

Do not remember that. But I think it should be the low twos. I just like that they're arguing about, you know, why is Trump doing this when he should be doing that? And like, even Rod's just like, actually Trump's doing a pretty good job with gas prices. You really can't argue with that. So Tony is the comedian. He tries to bring some levity to it. Like, why are we arguing about gas prices?

Let's have a little fun. And Opie, look at his face on this clip. What I'm saying is, if you go into a strip club, the price of a lap dance currently, I believe, is somewhere in, like, the hundreds. Like, you've got to pay $100 a song or something like that. It's ridiculous what it used to be, it used to be $25. So do you see Opie making that face? He was like, whoa, we're talking about strip clubs and lap dances. This is outrageous content that we're doing.

There used to be a shock shock. I can't get over the fall. I know. I can't. Every time I watch them, I go, like, I listened to these guys for nine years. Like, I canceled my serious X-M when Anthony got fired. And just in solidarity. But, like,

I cannot get over that this is what this guy is doing. This is, you know, for the Dabler's fans, this is Carmic X. This is Gino Bisconti. Yeah. It's insane.

Yeah, it's Gino with friends who are bigger losers than Gino's friends. Just saying something. If we hope we can get Matt B'd have the show. So he has just a punchable face right here where he's making this face when, thank God, Tony's trying to like make this entertaining or something. Like,

all right people that's that's pretty wild right okay so tony tells a story that he's having a bad morning because he puts a hose into his water filter can't poop he puts a hose into his water filter goes outside to grab something outside comes back in the water spilled all over the floor in the kitchen the big puddle should have just left it on like an idiot you know what that's I do. It sucks. My downstairs studio is still torn apart. It's annoying.

So he's in a bad mood and this puts Opie in a good mood because he's been really pissy this whole time. But now that bad things are happening to Tony, he's loving it. Hardwood floors. It was in the kitchen. It's tile. It doesn't matter, Ron. It's damaged no matter what.

And my point is that I want to thank Tony for getting me out of my bad mood. As soon as Tony said, he had an inch of water in his litter room. But I've never seen you so happy. What the fuck's wrong with you, man? You're taking joy out of someone fucking pain. You want me to put the icing on the cake? I woke up because one of my dogs, sometimes you can't control themselves.

And there was a big-ass turd in the kitchen, too. Oh, my God. Look at Opin. Opie. Does that make you feel? No, that's gross. That's fucking gross. It's a happy birthday to me.

This catty shack in his living room. And if you know, you know if this would have happened to Opie. yeah like we would have heard nonstop about it's leaking to the floor below and i got this expensive tile so we got to get that and find a match for it it's going to like what happens to his poor friend and he's giggling yeah yeah that's great that's great this guy lost his rocoo tv and his air friar and it's and it's going to be way more of a hardship on him yep and uh that puts opey in a good mood and ron calls him out on that because i hope he's giggling over it but you just heard him say that also the dog shit

on the floor and opi is a pro who knows how to keep the show moving when you hear something like that i had a pull of duty out of my uh my dog's butt yesterday it was just hanging there the word is just hanging i don't know what if the grass or something uh a hair maybe the grass i don't know i got i got no i got you notice where the we're the only species that wipes our ass good stuff run you know open never really thought about it oh he's a pro because he's like yeah you know poop goes out of my dog's butt too yeah yeah that's good and then uh rod comes in with the uh the fun facts about who who would species wipe their butt it's not even true dog scoot which is technically wiping your ass dogs also use their tongue

i don't know if you've seen that move before i love when people like let a dog lick over their face and like you know dogs mouths are actually clear than he was like definitely not i don't like shit at all i spend all day not looking shit yeah that's that's a fallacy it's definitely a fallacy but it makes people feel better about their dog licking their face so it's how good good thing that your dog is afraid of me yes i didn't get any licks on the face today she's not sure what to think of carl she does know she was making fun of my club foot when i walked in it was it all down the hill from there god damn heard about you bitch all right so then um ron does know how to keep the conversation going so he's more on this shit talk don't need to because if you if you naturally there's a waxy buildup on on the poo that will slide off your skin. What the fuck are you talking about? I'm telling you, baby. Okay.

So Ron is saying we shouldn't even have to wipe because if we ate better, our shit would have a waxy substance on it. It would just slide right out. Yeah, we'd have no problems at all. Maybe he's not wrong.

Maybe we do need to take a look at ourselves. How much are you wiping? Do you want to eat cleaner? Cut my teeth. toilet paper bill down to see right oh you have these he berries money saving too yeah now um let's finish up the show getting back to the ronica talk because ron's very excited about monday that's going to be his uh his big pay day okay opi tell him what's happening on monday uh monday is officially ronica day for real uh i you know the frustration i feel doing these with ron

It's palpable at times. And then I smile and I enjoy my time with Ron the way that. And I want to show my appreciation because he absolutely has pumped up these live streams in recent months. So Monday is Ronica Day, all super chats that we make, don't get too excited, Ron. We made like, I think, $10 today. But on Monday, every super chat goes to Ron Berman comedy. And then I will, I will do something hand. handsomely as well.

Because I don't know what the rules are with Super Chats. What I really want to say, but I don't know if you're allowed to, I want to match whatever Super Chats come in on Monday for Rob, but I don't know what the rules are. Oh, we can break the rules on that, Opie, a little under the table matching match. So Opie, I don't understand what he's doing. I don't know he's really confused about it or why. He's like, I want to say I'm going to match it, but I don't know if I can say, and I'm going to match it.

You just did. I have two thoughts on this. Number one, this reminds you of Aaron M. Holt and the way he kind of treats Johnny. Yes. So, like, he'll do this thing where he's just constantly berating Johnny Crutches. Your mic is muted. Why are you looking at your phone? Why are you always high?

He hates him. He hates dealing with him. I don't know if you caught this because I didn't catch this little piggy yesterday because I'm in Vegas. Anyway, but he had a thing on where after Johnny Crutches went off the show, the chat started talking about how he wasn't funny and on his game. Yes. And he was just reading the free. I'm hoping down. I was like, yeah, I know. He was arguing with me. He was talking over me.

It's like, what an asshole? He waits to call him out. But then he'll also use Johnny as a tool to like everything over the goal where it's going straight to Johnny. He does that kind of a thing with the money as well. But number two, I'm wondering if he's going to take out YouTube's cut from his, his matching. Oh, that's what I want to know. I guarantee it. I want to know if he's going like, we got to wait for the results to come like Kevin Brennan. like, we got to see what the net is. Honestly, they're not wrong, though. It's very difficult to figure out what the net is. Gross and the net are very different numbers.

Which is why you should sign up for supertip.g. Wow, you're open for shows now. You just brought up a great point. Supertip.g.g. slash wATP is where you can go to support the show and also participate in the show in a fun manner. Feeling festive. Catch classic holiday favorites like Home Alone, the Santa Claus and Die Hard, along with holiday episodes from Family Guy, Abbott Elementary, and more with Hulu on Disney Plus.

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Stupid ass can be. We have this sticker for a shop too. Yeah, you're going through a tough time. And I was like, I just moved to Austin, man. Yeah, I'm trying to find my way. It's, I'm heartbroken about L.A. It's Papa. In Texas, I miss L.A.

so a recent episode this guy who's acting like him moving his family the Texas happened to him yeah like I know this was a decision you labored over and then chose he complains about Austin nonstop to Brian Kalin who didn't tell him to move with him

right just like I'm going to Austin I was the mother ship I wish you wouldn't have actually yeah you could tell that he was out he wasn't just like let's keep the kid going like the show has been dying for years and so Brian moves to Austin because he's like I'm not going to get any juice anymore. All my friends live at Austin.

That's where all the comedy's happening. And Brennan's like, all right, I'll go. He thought maybe one day in the green room show would be like, why don't you go up? Why don't you go up again? Yeah. Why don't you get out there? But he's not even allowed in the green room, right?

You're talking about Brennan's job? Yeah. No. And the beauty of this episode of the fighter and the kid, it's called Gringo Poppy 2, but with puppets. We'll explain why it's called that. But Brendan Schaub and Brian Kahn are joined by comedian Nick Simmons. And Nick Simmons, it's interesting, he gets into the whole like Brendan's standup career stuff that we saw recently with another guest that was on the show last week.

Timmy No Breaks was on from Kill Tony. Yep. And he's a very funny guy, Timmy No Breaks. And he's only been famous for a few months. And he goes on there and is just like, hey, so what happened to your standup career? Which is great. Because these guys out now, they know the sub right. They know the homeless cats.

They know what would be interesting for people to hear. So Brendan Schaub explains why he had to get into comedy and what made him different. And there you always called yourself the CM Punk of comedy. I was just going to say that. Like I would start the set if anyone came. I'm like, I'm the CM Punk of comedy. Yeah. You guys would be doing the same thing, man.

Like Sam Punk got all that shit. It's like, man, if you could, you wouldn't want to just jump into the UFC and take a stab at it. It's not just that. You were also offered a lot of money. So what we're going to find out during this episode is that Brendan Schaubh talks about how he gets shit because other comics are jealous that he got opportunities

that they didn't get because he was a famous UFC fighter. The person who's most jealous is Brian Caleb. He's so upset that Brendan Schaub comes out of the scene is terrible stand-up and showtime's like,

why do you a special? Have this opportunity. Right. Because Brian Kellel's been doing it forever and no one seems to give a fuck about his stand-up. You can see it for free on YouTube his latest special.

I don't recommend it. The CM Punk of comedies. This is what Brendan's explaining he is. Now, you familiar with CM Punk? A little bit. Yeah, me too. I'm not into wrestling, but. Right.

So it's like, CM Punk was like this authentic guy who wasn't afraid to tell the truth and mix things up, you know? You need that guy to be like, I'm not a company man. I'll come in here and tell you what's up. Right. You know,

disruptor. It's disruptor. Right. Yeah. That was Brendan Chubb. In his words, that's what Fred and Chab was to the comedy scene. So the question is,

why did he do the Showtime special? Because the Showtime special, everyone pans it's like the worst stand of special of all time sure the worst rated stand of special it's a it's a joke and so lately brett has been trying to lean into the hate he's trying to explain like hey listen man i probably shouldn't have done that but you know there's reason those early so like you were offered a lot of money by show time so much and it was like and i was like i remember going no no no you can't do this but you were like but it's a lot of money i gotta do something yeah you know you do that two years in i got offered one time

14 dollars and 75 cents so bryan gal was like blowing up his spot because in the past brend is just like well no i mean it's not about the money you know i'm doing stand-up i get an opportunity like why wouldn't i do that so bright kills just put it out there's just like they offered you a lot of money to do that and i told you not to do it and you said that's not the money it's like yeah that's the truth that makes sense i'm not mad about it there's showtime offered me a lot of money to humiliate myself i'd think about it i'd wait at my options. Yeah, but you could also tell them you're not ready and do a contract for a future one or something I imagine. Oh, yeah. I imagine if you told them like the product will be better

if you give me six months a year, they, they wouldn't be like, no. It actually reminds me of when Chad Zumachshund started having fantasies of headlining hackamania. Right. And he's like, maybe I'll write a whole new hour and do my next special. Well, he's like, it's happening in April. You're going to do an hour. He said he was going to do a go fund me and shoot a special this year. Well, how's that going for Godfrey? He's still at what, 35,000? There's 220,000 to go. It's so pathetic.

All right. So I love that people are bringing this up to on the show now because it's what people are interested in. Shab talking about his stand-up career. And so what Brendan Shab is trying to explain, he says this multiple times throughout the episode, is that he gets it now. You know, people have been upset with him and ragging on him and for a while

he was just like fuck you fuck you I have a good stand up fuck you now he's just like no no no I get I understand where you guys are coming from and he does a weird time but I also get it it's like uh like there's comics 10 15 years in who don't get to that level and I'm two years in and it's fucking poppin

I'm selling out every weekend you know yeah so his thing is jealousy yes they're jealous the other cars are jealous also he talks about stand-up, like there's all these comics who've been doing it for 15 years who don't get to that level. Yeah. And he's talking about that level of money and that level of notoriety. The comics who have been doing it for 15 years probably have far surpassed that level

if we're talking about skill. Right. Right. They're talking about two different levels. Yeah, two very different things. Yeah. And so Shab is just like impressed himself that he was given that opportunity. We're the crazy ones for criticizing him. Right. You know? And anybody who doesn't like what I'm doing as a hater because of jealousy he's just being impressed that i got to this level two years in even if it sucked i got there right like well that's how we judge that's how we judge art you got tapped on the shoulder and then you couldn't do it yeah and had to quit right that's just not how art is uh usually judged so still he's claiming that he gets it but doesn't really get it the blessing and a curse right because the blessing is you're doing stand-up you're make a shit

ton of money but you're really not ready for it and And it's just it's a tough gig. It's like everything else takes a long time. It's tough. Yeah. It's a long time. But I don't, you know, I don't like I can see how people get upset. It'd be like if, you know, a kid just started baseball and two years in, they's fucking

starting for the Dodgers. Like, bro. Yeah. There's guys that worked their whole life. Like, I get it. That baseball analogy is bonkers. Yeah, because that guy has talent. Yeah, it's all merit based.

Right. You don't, you don't start on the Dodgers because your last name is Mantle. Right. They're like, oh, were you related to Mickey like yeah yeah oh the place at her field let's see let's see what happens but you can by the end of the weekend have a bunch of merch and be booked on a bunch of popular shows because you said something funny in a microphone like the hawk to a girl right good point and then and notice how is she doing oh she's out of podcast she has a gaming stream now

i think the two people yeah yeah i think she's a twitch streamer now and she doesn't know how to play video games or doesn't understand so i think yeah knowing that you're not ready for something and it's it's the much more mature decision to say hey i like it would be so much wiser for him to when when approach to do these headlining gigs and sell out these whatever you know clubs or whatever for him to go hey i'm going to bring my buddy who's been doing it for 20 years and he's going to headline yes but i'll do 30 minutes it's a mature it shows awareness like and a lot of people do that suthering john and friends that comedy tour right was sundering john was the name because he was on the Howard Stern show.

Sure. But then it was Nick DePaulo, who was headlining it or Artie Lang. Let's get a killer up. So you have a good show as well. People are laughing. And then, by the way, nobody walks out going Stuttering John sucks. Right. I mean, they might like objectively when like discussing it in detail, but the show's not ruined. Right. They laughed at the end of it. So they feel good about it and things worked out. But we're going to get back to that baseball analogy. It's like, you know, someone's been playing baseball their life. This guy gets to play for the Dodgers. Like, I mean, I don't care if you started playing baseball three days ago. if you can hit the ball and feed you get to play baseball that's why when people always

talk about racism in sports I'm like I'll hire anybody who can get the job done well like no shit uh that wasn't always the case I'll be honest you know break Robinson did some good things talking about today right today for sure all right so this is more nonsense he had a hard time with his career in comedy because he was so famous this was really just a curse for him. I'm going to elaborate on that. Now, think about it. Most comics for the first 10 years,

no one's really seeing it. Like you can work things out. There's no pressure. Nobody knows who you are. Now, go over to my lane where I can't go anywhere. No, and you're doing the fucking story. You got Ireland and Connor McGregor was short. Dude, I can't go to open mics.

Like, that's not even an option for me. So, like, anywhere I go, it's like I'm getting criticized. And then I get to keep up with the game and post, you know, clips and stuff for the clubs to sell, tickets so then i got to post clips that people are comparing to theo you are also you don't have to do any of it honestly what does you mean that open mics aren't even an option thank you i i said the same thing like what do you mean it's not an option you could certainly go to an open mic anyone can and everyone's going to be whispering quarters having a laugh but you know how to

get over that go up and be funny yeah just kill it like and it works in the opposite direction too Seinfeld used to say you know like i go into a club i get five minutes of holy shit that's jerry signed yeah it's too easy easy laughs but if I'm not being funny people start going like oh yeah this is jerry Seinfeld right right like for him to go I can't even go

do open mics is crazy it's crazy you should do open mics right if you want to still do comedy sure and I think he does I think he does wish he was still doing comedy I think he wishes he was good at it because he talks about the friendships that he had

hanging out at the store until two in the morning with all his buddies and they all they should do each other's podcast and stuff it would be too much of a blow to the ego for him to like go on tour with somebody and do 10 minutes up front and then let everybody else which is crazy because he was a headliner I know he had specials and offers and again they reach such a level well let's find out how season Brendan shop actually was we recorded his first comedy special because again Brian's being a little salty here I think we're going to see this come out on in to like think about this he's been doing stand-up for 20 minutes okay and when you like you say you're in for two years really you're done i could probably count find the kid lives yeah i mean but you probably

did you probably performed that i'm not joking by the time he shot that that showtime special i'm gonna make a call i bet you he performed a total of 40 times so that's where you get down to like and i i think nick after this says like that's like two weeks in new yore you're right yeah exactly like you should be doing four sets of night that's embarrassing both you're at different clubs that's embarrassing two years 40 shows couldn't do open mics he had to be at the the comedy store that's rough with all the other pros and so brian calen is pissed about this he's like i don't know why he even fucking said yes to this there's no in no business being on that stage and doing a show like that um so yeah Brian seems to be very

pissed at brend and shop but uh brend and shop is not ashamed of uh the low numbers for his performances. He sees that as a badge of honor. Watch him flip this around. I'm not joking. Maybe. By the way, kind of impressive.

That, right? To say the least. Don't be wrong. The hour if you compare to, you know, Schultz and Thiel, I get it.

But now, but here's my thing, though. That's like four weeks of stand up in New York. Dude, show show. But hold on. Film their first. So have them,

when they were very first starting, have them do an hour. Oh, good. I'm just saying they're like, well, I get the heat, but you also got to give me a little credit. No, no, no, no. So now he wants credit for having a terrible show, a terrible stand-up special.

Because look at guys, I barely even doing stand-up, yeah. I don't know when Theo Von started doing stand-up, but I worked with him in 2011, 2010, maybe. Okay. And he was killing. Like, it was, some people are naturally, he's just a charming, funny guy. Yeah, like, and he doesn't get that.

He thinks it's like something you can. And again, I guess it can be. be learned to a degree, but some people just have it, man. Well, also, Brendan Schaub's complaining that he was performing with, like, the big boys and he's being compared to Theo Vaughn. The big boys, like Andrew Schultz and Theo Vaughn. Right. Those are the two names that he came up with.

But let's go back to the baseball analogy. So he's, like, proud of himself, like, yeah, I barely had any experience in here. I did a special. Maybe I don't think it's great. Maybe it sounds as good as Andrew Schultz or Bill Burr, but I did a special. How about that guy on the Dodgers that they let start? And he was 0 for 5 with 5 strikeouts. seven fielding errors and he's like yeah but i played in the major leagues that's not that's not good

at all man you lost the game for the team because you suck so right so i don't i don't understand why he's bragging about it's not just getting the opportunity it's what you do once you get the opportunity right and remember this all started with i get it man guys i get it i know i get the hate for this he doesn't at all yeah he's like making excuses for himself this is what would happen a lot of times with uh last comic standing which yeah started in 2002 or one or whatever it was like these guys they would be like you know there were some real pros on there rich voss was on that early days uh comic named dave mortall from minnesota like there were a lot of like really good pro comic jacky kation and people like that but then there were like guys like

dad fan who you know were funny in these two minute bursts and had to do all these funny challenges and live in the house and it was great for a reality show but now you won you know famously beat out Ralphie May. And he had to go on a headlining tour. And he came to Tampa when I was doing comedy in Tampa. And he traveled with a band. It was called that band.

Of course. And he did about 20 minutes of stand-up. And then the band did some bits. And he had some guests. And, but he realized, like, I'm not ready to headline and didn't headline his own show. He just did the impression of his mom. It was just the Asian X. And he was just a debt fan tour coming through your but yeah yeah i'm glad you saw that fan i i follow him pretty close on who are these

socials he posts a lot of stuff on ticot and stuff and we watch it some of the sand those stuff it's really bad but i don't know if you knew this last comic standing had like a tour that they did afterwards like america's got tamil does that too and american idol it's like you saw them on tv for for all those weeks now come see them live and they come to your time dance fan wasn't the headliner like he was the winner of it and they had to have other people headline because he like you said he's got to follow it yeah yeah he's not pretty good Nobody wants to walk out of the show with that taste in their mouth. Right.

All right. So, Brendan, this is the funniest cope right here because Brian Kallin makes some statements that are wild. And I know you saw clips of this from podcast cringe was picking up on this episode. More on that in just a second. But Brian makes some crazy claims. And at the comedy store, he was thrown into a lineup with people like myself who'd been doing it for 20 years, Joe Rogan. You guys were the murderers, bro of that. we were murder and i'm including myself in that we were we were murderers we would go up there

it would be you know all of us who had been doing it forever and at the peak we were all at the peak we were all at the boiling point of our everyone's in the prime everyone's in the prime killing and then this fucking guy would get out in in the middle of all that anybody want to try that anybody want to try that if they've been doing standard for a year please um any raise your hand if you guys want to step into that see what happens to you know but to your credit because you were this giant fighter who had the balls who would get up and tell a story and you found your way your sets were not bad up there they you know they just weren't i watched it i mean i saw it you know and and people gave you grace because they knew yeah that this pro athlete who was a

giant was up among the best comics in the world yeah in the world maybe by the way put that whole lineup in the pantheon of comics in the history of might be the greatest lineup ever i i think it's at that time holy shit it's just so insane so bright cal is going i put myself in there as the greatest lineup of comedians of all time at the comedy story yeah and this look sebastian manascalco is weird for me he's good because he's massive now yeah and and from what i understand people love him and he's very funny. I haven't seen a lot of his stuff. So I can't really comment. But I don't know if you ever saw that Vince Fonz Wild Wild West comedy tour. Yeah. Documentary video with him. Because if you remember in that movie, he like quit wait, he was a waiter. And he like quit

waitering to go on this opportunity, this tour. And sucked. Yeah. Like he was took a while for him to find his voice. It was really bad. Yeah. He's just flopping around the stage. But who are the, like aside from Bill Burr. And again, I'm not saying Joe Rogan stinks. Oh, no. They said, this was the list. Listen to this. It was Brian Cullen, Joe Rogan, Bill Burr, Joey Diaz, Theo Vaughn, and they go, that's the biggest lineup. Yeah. And again, like, I'm not saying Joe Rogan stinks. Like, I'm sure, I'm sure if you go watch Joe Rogan at a comedy club, you'd have a great time. He's doing 15 minutes.

I'm sure, you know, Joey Coco Diaz is notorious for telling great stories and all this stuff. I'm sure you'd have a great time if you go see any of these guys. To call it the best stand-up lineup ever is insane. Let me, let me list. Nightly at the comedy store, there's, there's way bigger, funnier. people. Let me list some of the names that have come through the comedy store that you've might have heard of. Richard Pryor. Okay. David Letterman. Heard of him. Robin Williams, Jim Carrey, Gary Shandling, Andy Kaufman, Michael Keaton. Yeah. Sam Kitteson, Dave Chappelle.

They're heading like this lineup, like, I mean, it's the Hall of Fame all time. Best ever. Best ever. Of all time. Calm down. And I love that Brian's also, as he's building himself up as one of the killers, a murderer. He's also going, and by the way, Brennan was very funny. And you're going, yep. I mean, he's telling stories. is yep he's really good yep it's like what are you trying to accomplish because i thought the whole strategy here is that he's now reading the subreddit and he's commenting on it and leaning into it the haters and all this kind of stuff but anytime you compliment him you can't help himself he's like no i'm pretty good man it's well it's not the point of any of that's you're supposed to

admit you so good and you quit yes right we just wants more time to yell at his kid on the right tiger in the baseball right um so then uh so nick brings up dealing with uh the the hate and uh how he wouldn't be able to handle it. So he's taking bread inside of this. You credit. No one, like me and Nick were talking about, like the amount of toughness you have to have to get all that shit to still keep going.

And then like after the same up thing, you're still getting people on like Reddit and YouTube talking shit. If there was a group of people that was over 100,000 that shit on me every day, I'm jumping off a fucking bridge. I am not last. If I got to see online is different because I came up with that. but if I was getting like in person

then it'd be different but I don't get no insane just to your person it would be great if they did all right so he captured himself immediately right the shop goes I know people on the internet hate me but who cares like people aren't at the show aren't saying shit to me that that would be

fucking horrible because we've heard how you react to people in cars and a coffee shop but did you hear what he just said at the end of that he goes I wish people would fucking come off to my face but a minute ago he goes I would be able to handle people

hated me at first. Yeah. Well, which is it? Are you tough or are you soft? Thin-skinned little bitch. Hard to tell. I love that you had to put numbers on it. Like, dude, you got like a hundred thousand people shitting all over you on the internet. I love these guys going on the plate of the kid. It's just like subtly bringing up. They're like, everyone hates you. You know that, right? You're not very funny. You just think. It reminds you when those guys took over your mom's house. Yes. Or, uh, or, uh, or sorry, two bears one cave. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was, um, in the whole show just became making fun of two bears one came and it. It crushed

it. It was so funny. But yeah, Timmy No Breaks, I think, was the one who set the precedent. Going on there just being like, so, Brady, you quit comedy, right? You don't do comedy anymore? Why is that? What's the deal with them? So, Brettie continues to explain that he gets it. It's never happened ever. So it's just

it is what it is, you know? Well, I'm sure you probably... He takes no balls to do it. I'm sure the comics that talk shit about you when they see you in person all of a sudden. The nicest. Yeah. Yeah. but again i don't i don't i don't have any anger towards them i get it i get because a lot of those comics there's none of them were ever you know great at the art or they're they were trying to

get there but they just weren't successful and i get it i burst on the scene i'm fucking selling out every brayer five six shows getting my bonus and like like do i've been making real money this is back to your point like the other comics you're just upset because i'm getting all these shows like no but they're better than you they don't want to be you yeah you I was looking to, like, fail miserably at comedy because you're thrown into the limelight immediately. And he also said no one else ever did this. Theo Vaughn, I don't know if you know this. He was on road rules.

Yeah. He wasn't a standout. He wasn't a standup. And that's what he pivoted into. So how's it going? So again, he's like, I get it. I get why people are jealous of me. He's like, Brendan, no one is jealous of you.

That's not the issue. anyone has people don't go to the subred just like i hate how successful this guy is right god damn it's not at the angle at louis k's peak when when when his tv show is on and his specials were coming out and he you know took him to his own website and was selling him for five bucks a piece and all that stuff i mean i'm sure there were comics jealous of him but nobody was mad and jealous of luci they were just like that's the dream exactly making your own way right killing it selling out around the world like also there's respect there correct because he's good because he's good yeah he does another jab at these comedians these comedians are all jealous of him here yeah and then

also i was making so much money like fucking two years ago i found a check from bray i never cashed for like 62 grand and i call him was like hey you guys cool they're like yeah yeah go ahead oh yeah damn money yeah they're like you earned that's a nice like we can't believe we didn't cash them like me either I was dumb back. But I get it because thinking about, they're grinding, grinding. It's a tough fucking grind. And I burst on the scene. I'm selling it out within a year.

It's like, man, fuck that guy. So especially from the comics, I get it, dude. And if they have podcasts, they're doing it and they get views so they make money. I get it. I never, that stuff never bothered me. Yeah. I literally want to call them. I literally want to call it like, I get it, dude.

Are you making money now? You check for $60,000. He never cashed because he just, he had so much money. He just forgot about it. it. Why would you say that? Must be nice. Why would you say that? We're talking about how you failed at comedy and everyone thinks you suck at it. And his response is, I made a shit ton of money grifting on those idiots. He has the reason right. Like the comics are upset because you're being given all these opportunities, but it's not out of jealousy. It's the fact that they worked really

hard and are objectively better. Yes. That's the reason. Yeah. It's not jealousy. It's, I know I could destroy this man on stage. Not, I wish I could do what he does. And did he get opportunities that he didn't deserve because he was already famous? Yeah, but a lot of people doing stand-up. Like, to your point that you just made with Theo Von, there's a lot

of guys who pivot into stand-up. I was just at the comedy clubs. I go in there to do the creep-off every week. And one of the Jersey Shore guys is up on the big poster on the wall. He's even wearing a jersey short t-shirt in this photo. Like, hey, you guys, remember me just stevo stevo yep but uh a lot of these guys do do a great job with that and uh a lot of them are screech from say by the film i can tell you this when stevo started and i've never seen stevo live and i don't know anything about him i assume he's still doing stand-up or traveling doing

shows i don't know i don't know but when he started doing that he hired a buddy of mine uh al jackson who's a very very funny comic who've been doing this for a long time and had credits to travel around with him and I and support him and help him and nurture him in the art of standup comedy um he took it seriously he respected it he realized his place in it like i know i'm going to sell tickets because i'm steve-oh yep but i also should try yeah i just staple your balls to your leg like tell some jokes correct and i think that there's there's like um it's just a popular thing now wrestlers you know i have becoming stand-up comics Jake the snake lives here in Vegas yeah So, yeah, I think it depends on how you approach it, too.

If you can humble yourself to go, like, I should open for somebody, travel with somebody, we package a show that uses my name to sell tickets, obviously, because that's the opportunity. But to not make it all about you when you know you're not ready. I think it just takes a humbleness that a lot of people don't have. Well, he does not have the humbleness because for him to say, the reason why I wasn't a very good comic is because I was on the lineup of the greatest comics of all time at the store.

So in comparison. I get hold my own. In comparison, I wasn't the guy. He talked about that of the episode we reviewed last week, too, where he's just like, well, my special wasn't Bill Burr's, but no one says. It's like, that's not what anyone's saying. Right. It was comparing you to Bill Burr on this.

Like, yeah, put it up against Dea Vaughn's special after he only did it 40 times. It's like, yeah, Dea Vaughn wouldn't do that. He would. He would do no better. I just want to point something out because the whole premise here, and they're missing this. Like, Brendan, this is backfiring on Brennan's job. He can't help himself. The whole thing,

was we're going to lean into the hate, we're going to address it head on, we're going to read the subreddit. They have a Patreon now, the fighter and the kin, where he'll read threads on the subreddit and address that stuff, things that they used to ignore, pretend didn't exist. Right. And so the whole point of that is to try to get people watching their content rather than the reaction channels. Because what Brennan is actually pissed about and Brian Kennel's pissed about, this episode that I've clipped here and that we're watching has 27,000 views. Podcasts cringe, did a video about this video. it's very good, by the way, 189,000 views.

Think about that. It's 8x, the number of views from the original. I'd be pissed too if I saw that. Am I correct? Is Brendan Schaub's suing that guy? He's suing you. He said something about, no, Pucktis Crenge said that something landed on his doorstep and he can't talk about.

Oh, interesting. I think, I might be mistaken, but I think that's happening. It's likely because, yeah, Brennan's shop, what he does is he likes to bring out these. lawsuits and then when he talks about him publicly he's just like oh yeah i mean that my guys wanted me to do this thing and my attorneys he actually got out in his hands or something like that yeah if i don't defend my brand they're telling me right yeah yeah i mean i don't want to do it but the attorney knows best so i guess that's what we're doing um so all right uh just wrap this

with a bow let's talk about why this episode is called gringo poppy too but with puppets so gringo poppy is the name of the special that's universally panned that they're talking about by Brendan Schaub. And they start talking about like, you know, the next wave of comics are to be AI comedians. These AI comedians are going to come through and, uh, just take over the landscape. And, uh, this is what they decided should be the name of the episode, this great back and forth. They're bummed out that they're going to get their jobs replaced by AI. It, it does feel like the future. Whether like it or not, somebody out there is going to get really good at doing this. And they're going to put out an hour.

a week. Enjoy that. That guy's going to be Brian Callan. Puppet. Puppet, though. As a puppet. As a puppet.

That's nothing to say what's the name of the episode. They're just like, that's a bummer. Tuki, if you're listening. Grinkle puppy, too. I'm not even kidding. No, make Gringo puppet. Yes.

I'm not even kidding. You know, you get, you get a. 100,000 views on that on YouTube. That's a really good idea. Especially if you wrote actual jokes and like did it. Or just recreated that set. Yeah, that would work too.

Gringo puppet. Tuki. Tuki. Patrick just wants 20% of the proceeds. It's all he's asking for on this. Let's talk about John Melendos. Can I get a little sympathy? Because I got a bloody ass.

I'm beating generously because I got a bloody ass. John Melendez came on the show yesterday, and this is a show from 19th of December. And John starts off his show. I'm sure you've seen this before, Patrick, where he's still in mid-shoe. And he's got a long intro. He plays two different intro themes for some reason.

And so he plays all of that, and then he does the, you know, that's the Duke thing. and uh after all that he comes out he's completely unprepared to start a show don't cross to duke everybody knows that the finger i know why is he chewing and putting that finger up he just sounds defeated Patrick you bring this up a lot and I appreciate your insight on this you can tell who's killing it in the devil verse

and who's getting their shit kicked in just by their demeanor right he's because I'm just like well I guess I'm doing a show again fuck yeah like they all they accuse everybody else of being mad angry seething coping oh dude Gino tells me like the dabble verses

this horrible place it's all hate all haters. I generally most days I do a show other people shows my face hurts when I'm done from laughing and smiling and having a good time. Why are you doing this if you're not having fun? No one told you you had to go live while you're eating. Who eat John KB Aaron and Chad has done it occasionally. It's going on. Have a meal. Patrick says most of his day eating and he's decides to stop. Exactly. For that time, he's out of the webcam. I can do it.

It's not that difficult to do. But yeah, it's crazy. It wasn't that long ago, Patrick, that I had a boss. My boss told me what to do. And I'd be like, I don't want to do that. But the boss told me I got to do it. All of these assholes have one thing in common.

They're their own boss. Yeah. And they're miserable. Why would you do that to yourself? Yeah. And they seem to impose corporate rules upon themselves that they don't like. We got to hit the goal or we can't do another 30. It's like,

Who said? Yeah. Or getting up, you know, starting a show at 6 a.m. Right. You know, Opie's on there before the sun comes up. Aaron is just like, yeah. Why is anyone doing any of this? You don't have to.

All right. So John's going to explain the title of this episode. Don't look for it. It's already been taken down. To be fair, Aaron has to get up at 6 a.m. to start his show or else it wouldn't be done in time for his next show at night. That's a good point. He has to show is out five and a half hours.

Yeah. Because he realizes it's the only way he'll make anybody. The only way to squeeze it in. Yeah. John's going to explain the name of this episode and what that might mean. As you can see, the title of my show is called Reed Torts. And I'm going to get into Torts. As you know, I read the book King of Torts, which was written by the great John Grisham.

Oh, man. Well, he must never think about Torts, that is LSAT prep? It's not going to help you on the test, John. Read all the John Grish of you wants. I can help. All right. So retorts. So I think that's a play on the word retard.

I think. Sure. We're going to find out more about it. First, let's bring on Clay Dabbler, the guest. And Clay, I love this guy. He's endlessly optimistic. Talented. He's always thinking he's very talented with his art.

Not so much as broadcasting. But what about Clay Dabler, he's always thinking that this is going to be the episode. where John respects me. Sure. And I go above and beyond and he recognizes that. And he says, you know, Clay, you're one of the good ones, you know? The person has to have empathy for that to happen. It will never happen.

John's a narcissist. He doesn't care what's going on. But watch Clay how excited he is for his t-shirt that he's wearing. Welcome Clay Dabard, ladies and gentlemen. Hey, Clay. Johnny Bulley. John, a T-shot. Mary Cessmus.

Yeah, and he's got a picture of you on that, but. I love it. But why Cessus? Because that's what you said, Cessmus. It's like a double-bust meme. You said, Merry Cessmus. I said it? Yeah.

Will and why? God, I don't know, just from where you got it wrong. Instead of Christmas, you said, Cessmus. Well, for you, you're probably drunk or something. Oh, Merry Cessmus. Probably. I love it. I love it.

Hey, check this out. I got a shirt, got your picture out in this, great. Your catchphrase. Why did I say it wrong? Why did I say it wrong? Why do you say anything wrong? He's like, you don't know this devil versus me where he's like Sussmus, idiot? It's so funny.

All right. So, I mean, that's been around since like 2023. Yeah, it's been a long time. All right. So Clay likes to talk to John and set him up for things. And I don't know if you know this. John Lennon has worked on the Howard Stern show for 15 years. Right.

Now, work is maybe not the correct word to use. there but he was around and so got a check Howard well sometimes Howard even the people in the front office get a ring Howard recently announced a three-year extension with serious XM and so Clay wants to know what John's take out of it makes sense think about Howard Stern's free year signing what he already spoke about he's been mailing it in but good for him If he can make, if he can make this kind of money, why not? The dwarfs just sent me some, something. Now, I've done multiple videos about Howard Stern recently because the contract's coming up.

So, like, why isn't he talking about this contract? This is his last week. Why he's not bringing up? And then he finally does bring it up. Torture his employees. Yeah, torturing his employees. Like, not wanting to know what's going to happen. I'm reaching out to shoe him.

Like, is he really doing this to these people who don't know if they can pay their mortgage next month. Like there's a lot of interesting angles when it comes to Howard Stern. He's going from 100 shows a year to 75 shows a year because he needs more free time. Yeah, which is insane. This is the man who works less of the substitute teacher. Christmas shopping alone. Right.

It's very stressful here. So there's a lot of things you can talk about with Howard Stern's contract and how he announced it and all this stuff. John just goes, I think you can make the money great. Anyway, I guess Vince the lawyer said to me something. How do you not have a take on this? He only needs Howard Stern.

and he's referencing himself in relation to the Stern show. Right. Since he's not on the show anymore, who cares? Right. I'm not on that show. He's a show. Right. I mean, you're friends with it's like Gary and Robin and Howard, like, you know all those guys.

Stern is only important when, when John is a planet circling that son. Yes. It's shocking to me that John would have nothing on that. You'd think you'd have a whole episode based on Howard's son. And people might be interested in the take. And it might be non-devilverse people. Who goes, suddenly John's talking about Howard Stern and his experience with this. Right.

Yeah, like other times that he said he was going to retire or wasn't going to resign the contract or whatever. Because I was done that every five years. Right. Forever. But yeah. Just shot absolutely nothing. But you're right. That's a great point.

The same way I find an interesting that Eric Nagel talks about Opie. It's like, well, here's a guy who was there. Right. And had an intimate knowledge of this. So this take is important or relevant. Yeah. E. I was actually talking to all the other people in the back office.

So not only did Eric have an experience, he could tell us what other people's experience was because they communicated with him. And you would think that John would have that same type of angle, but you're so right about that where the Howard Sturt Show stopped existing when he left the show. He even talks about how he didn't listen to him on Sirius

because he didn't want to pay for it. Yeah. He worked on the Sturt. He claims to be this huge fan of the show. He didn't want to pay for it. I bought Sirius immediately when he went over to the satellite. All right.

let's find out why it's called retorts enough about how it's done let's get to the main subject matter of this episode call it a retorts let me i just want to make this clear and i i don't i don't want to give this person any air because he is a uh in my honest opinion i think in a lot of people is he's a criminal and i also don't want to give his little counterpart there the 65 year old in my honest opinion diaper wearing stinky pinky any fucking air either. Okay. So he brings up the Z man,

Chad Zumach, who he calls Baby Fatso. Yeah. And then stinky pinky, diaper wearing stinky pinky, that's Kevin Brennan. Does he know what an opinion is? No. He thinks that if, as long as he says, in my honest opinion, he can slander anyone he wants. He's been told by Vince the lawyer. You just have to say in my honest opinion afterwards. It doesn't matter what it's my opinion, you have cancer. like that's not that's how that works at all all all right so he goes on from there to read the definition

of what a tort is but i thought he read the john grishap novel so i don't know why it's to read that from the internet i would have it down um but i'm excited about this he he doesn't want to give it air he doesn't want to give them air and then the next 22 minutes is just talking about this these guys will go on and on about a thing they don't really want to talk about or can't talk about. Carmic was doing this last night with something in his personal life is really going on that's bad, but I can't talk about it. Kept bringing it up over and over again. You want to talk about it. Go ahead. You do want to talk about it. I don't want to shine a light on this, but I'm going to talk about it for an hour today. There's nothing more frustrating

as a listener. Because if I should be interested, then I am. And if I shouldn't, then shut up. Right. I have a guest that I'm bringing on who also doesn't really want to get into it. It's like, what are we doing? Why is the point of this? Why don't we seek my time with this? All right, so let's find out why John is talking about Chad Zumach and Kevin Brown. Great. What baby Faso and Pinky Hebdonny is contact club owners and harass them.

And there are club owners that book me. Now, what they're doing, though, is to get them to maybe not book me. anymore because they don't want baby fatso or pinky to contact arrest them. Yeah, to contact them and harass them and write them bad yelp reviews. All these guys have the same gripes. They're like, one person could ruin my stand of career. How is that possible? And we're arguing over peanuts.

Cardiff covered this the other night, but like, like John did nine shows this year? Yeah. How much do you think he grossed from that? Not nine grand. Nope. Way less than $9 for sure. Ray DeVito made more money in 20223 on MLC. And John makes doing stand-up. What are we talking about? And he's launching a lawsuit.

Like, you're taking money out of my pocket. It's like, what money? Do you need the three quarters back? What are we trying to get a soda out of the machine? Yeah. So John's claiming that KB and Chad are contacting comedy clubs and the bookers. And they're like, hey, if you can book John, but we're going to make your life real difficult.

or whatever the fuck they're saying if you're a good comic there's not a single person who could ruin your stand-up career right by calling comedy clubs Bill Burr's still doing okay bookers well I don't know about Bill Burr oh fun fact on that

or maybe I should say a teaser on that is that for some reason WATP paid for Christian Blatt and what's his lips from WATP on Wednesdays

you know my good buddy Adam Bush they both went to see Bill stand-up show the other night. Yeah, I heard him say he was interested in doing that. Yeah. Because he was working on new stuff. He's working on new stuff and he's found the meaning of life. Bill Burrass.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's a happy and lucky guy now. Going to hear about this Wednesday? So I believe we're going to hear about it. Christian Blatt showed me his notes, which of course, as an entire notebook full of notes. Right. Because you can't bring your phones in.

So they were just writing stuff down. So I'm very much looking forward to their report on that. but yeah, Bill Burr, I don't know how his, his career is going. He seems to have lost a lot of support recently. So John explains that a lawsuit is coming. I'm going to just be very clear, Pinky, and very clear baby Fatso. Heed this warning, okay? Don't take this lightly.

Don't take this as a veiled threat. There were two numskills who took it as a veiled threat. That's me. And then I served them with a lawsuit. this is an actual threat he's not a male threat he's insane I love that this guy sees

suing shuling me as a badge of honor isn't it great that I followed through the lawsuit no it makes you a shit head actually never heard someone say don't mistake my kindness for kindness it's just the opposite my kindness is just the opposite of kindness all right

so let's explain this potential lawsuit because so far i'm a little confused about it there was a phone call made to a club owner or something and john's going to sue them over it john's suing threatening to sue chad chad's threatening to sue the club owner is he that the chris k guy okay because Chris Kay is accusing him of harassing his I don't know about this oh yeah chat apparently was sending pizzas and leaving told his Patreon to go leave reviews

on the comedy club website yeah so the club owner called him out to other club owners like in a Facebook group and it's weird because Cardiff has all this it's great that's amazing doom has a clip and stuff so lawsuits are fine around yeah they are let's let's hear more about this i want to hear what this lawsuit's going to be clubs that i go to and i'm even including any brand stress factory you are inhibiting them or preventing them from giving me work which is a legal liability it's it's it's yes it's a wrongful act What you're doing is preventing them from hiring me again.

That can't happen. Chad Zumach has no power of anything. And Chad likes to threaten things like, oh, if I know Cardiff where he works, I'll get him fired. It's like, you can't get Cardiff fired. It might be really good at his job. They probably don't care of these a potato on the internet. Right.

Most employers wouldn't. It's not like you, Chad, where somebody else could fill in last minute this weekend, and the audience would be none the wiser. And there wouldn't be. Might have a better experience. There might be more people there if Chad's not out of the belt. So I'm saying.

But, you know, John's one of these guys who takes all this shit real seriously where he's like, oh, you're trying to ruin my stand-up career? Well, they can't, John. Only you can ruin your stand-up career. And it's always what we say with these guys when they do these lawsuits is like,

you know you have to prove damages. Yes. And you have to open up your books and you're going to have to show the court and everyone else. How much did we cost you? Right. How much did. The John just played the. stress factory. And of course, Kevin Brennan showed up with a

noise maker. Right. I believe that's getting thrown into this lawsuit, the noise maker. Okay. Whoa, there's a noise making at a comedy club? Yeah, John, you're... What are you out? Yeah, right. I'll settle right now for two cores. Are you okay? Is everything all right? Is your family okay?

Sometimes I wake up in the night with a cold sweat and I hear that noise making in the other room. I think it's New Year's. I have no idea what's going on. But no, John has an attorney friend in Florida and Chad listen closely man be careful on conversation with my Florida attorney today and don't worry baby Faso he is licensed in the great state of Florida which last I checked Tampa is a city of the great state of Florida and he is willing to file a lawsuit free of charge

well that's good because chad has nobody suing chad it's the biggest waste of time i could possibly think of also he knows that tampas in florida how is this guy only substitute t jay but john was confused there's a great clip hopefully uh lucy does dabble verse is going to be on monday night and she has miss judy yes i heard the attorney that's been uh working with john and vince the lawyer. They're going to break down the wall suit against Shulie and me. But John said to Judy on his show the other day.

He goes, now, if you're licensed in New York State, could you still work in Rochester? Or I hear that like you can't. Like some people would just work in New York City. Judy goes, no, no, no, you can work anywhere in the state. That's how being licensed in the state is. Right. And John goes, well, though, because my attorney told me he couldn't work in Rochester.

Because, you know, Shulie and I are trying to get a move from Manhattan to Rochester where there's actually a defendant and she's like well you know maybe he was just saying he didn't want to work in Rochester like that's too far for him to travel to hey John you know how we told you'd know when you're ready for the

L sets you're ready you're ready maybe you got this he wasn't sure if an attorney can work so that this is John showing off his cadolage of going now I have an attorney who's here in Florida and guess what knowledge I did I go and he makes sure I wasn't here and he goes guess what I have an attorney

friend who's in Florida. That's in the same state that you live in, baby, Faso. Watch out. He's going to do a pro bono. He's learned that they can travel. What attorney would want to sue a broke person pro bono? What does it for them? It's just what I do on the side. What I'm not doing real lawsuits? I don't know if Chad's up to nine gigs a year, but you can garnish those. That's true. It's a good point. I get all his buffalo wings. Yeah, how much could John potentially get from Chad's? Well, how much could he, like you were saying, before damages. Well, Chad didn't, Chad showed

Rocco that he had $100,000. Cool. Which is maybe, but that also maybe Chad's afraid of the lawsuit. That's why he moved into an expensive apartment. Oh, yeah, yeah. And he's buying a car. Got a new laptop. He's thinking about getting

a new bike. Well, yeah, it's bike got stolen, right? Yeah. All right. So, I just, it's so funny to think that there's like three clubs that John's referencing here, and I don't know if anyone's calling anyone. I wouldn't put it behind Kevin Brett. I always calls comedy clubs. I wouldn't put it behind shit. Whatever. I don't know what's going on. But how could, I mean, how much money could you make doing the stress factory one time of year and two other places? What are we talking about? None of it's any

serious amount of money. Let's say you made $2,500 in a night, which is not. Yeah. Let's say, small claims court. Do you know how much lawyers are? Yeah, I actually do. That's funny to say that They're fucking expensive So do I But usually these things start with a cease and desist Right Yeah

They are now Herding my bottom line I already had a long conversation With my forward attorney He said I made meet with him tonight And we will draw up The cease and desist

For both baby fatso and pinky And they will be mailed This week They will be mailed Well, you're just going to draw them up and leave on your computer? Is he charging you for the postage? Or also, you know, you can just make a cease and desist yourself. Oh, yeah.

You don't need an attorney. ChatGPT would type it up for you and nail it. They had a second. But all right. And they will be mailed this week. Well, this week's almost over. But probably next week they shall get them. Or I'm going to bypass the cease and desist because right now I'm giving them my cease and assist.

Hold on. And I'll go. straight. O.B. said that's the last day to mail it out if you wanted to get there by Christmas. You better get it in the mail. You get it right away, Chad. Don't wait. My cease and assist. And I'll go straight to the lawsuit.

And that's a fact, Jack. Fucking, you want to, if you don't want to believe me, go right ahead. Chad never knows how you're going to add to phrase. Oh, yeah? If you want to mess with me, then go for it. See what happens. It's like painted myself into a circle.

I didn't know where to go with that. He goes, we're writing up CED. He always says he's a long conversation with his attorney as if like that's some kind of badge of honor. You know who I've been talking to my attorney for a long time. Cool. You watch these like cop can videos where they're always threatening like I'm going to sue you. Oh, yeah.

Sue the department. I was to sue the city. I was to the state. It's always the poorest people who are determined to spend all their money on attorneys. Yeah. And drunk. Which also is they having coffee with John. It's like, why do you want to?

to go down this road. You ever notice the cops are never intimidated by that? It never gets the effect that they want. They don't have to be like, whoa, whoa, whoa, okay, we don't want any trouble here. Like, oh yeah, go for it. Here's my badge number. Here's my last name. Here's my card. Whoa, you're going to sue? They're not worried. Be on your way. They're not worried about it.

All right. So, John is so petty and stupid. He thinks that any of the stuff on the internet matters, and it just does not. Baby Fatso doesn't know. Is Baby Fatso called this club a d-list room now clay he went on the air and called this club a d-list room now i ask you clay let's say you're a comedy club owner and you got a comedian in this case an alleged comedian going out and and trashing your club are you going to book him

Why is John even worried about this? What does he care of Chad calls a room a D-list room? It's so insane what these guys did decide to focus all their time on. Chad's determined to prove he's better than Ray. John's determined to prove he's better than Chad. It's like, then what? Well, John has real problems. His kids don't talk to him.

And he's putting his energy into saying, can you believe that Chad called on a comedy club? Yeah, who cares? Chad wasn't going to get booked there anyway. I don't know if you realize this, Chats on a headline and working the circuits. Right. He'll go play his local club.

And then if one of his buddies are actually headlines, asked him to come on the show, he'll do that. But John's actually like, I got you now. You caught a club, a bad place to find a comedy.

Yeah, it's going to be a big problem. And John's another one of these guys. It's not really easy threatening lawsuits. That makes him a big man, which it doesn't. It makes them look like a pussy. But he also brags about striking channels.

Yeah. shit wear again, okay? I'll take credit. I am not going to hide behind bullshit. I'm the, I would say I'm probably one of the only ones that will admit when I do something. I did strike Baby Faso once when he played my entire intro with my copyrighted song and pretend that it was my show. Do you remember that?

Who brags about striking channels? again what are the damages i know he loves putting his copyrighted music on because it's so easy to strike stuff with music and a copyright law is very different they could have thought it was my show they wouldn't they wouldn't no one thinks that but john you know is it cut out a little bit because the way this is playing but at the beginning he goes yeah i've been striking ts n's channel i struck him again he struck them like five or six times in the last month he's just striking the channel over and over again it's like it's all fair use man and you know that the striking channels It's just a dick move.

It makes it look weak. And you better hope that you don't get his channel permanently removed from YouTube because guess what? You have to show damages. Oh, yeah. There'll be a counters. There'll be a lawsuit. Yes.

For sure. Yeah, John's just playing with fire and he's acting like he's winning. Could you imagine you have a rival on the internet and you have to go behind the scenes to get there, get them silenced in order to beat them? You know about this? I've heard. You've heard this happen? the people do stoop to such petty

games with the legal system. Yeah, these people don't understand what they're doing. These are the people who make fake 911 calls and, you know, like, like, they don't understand, they call the police on everybody for everything. Yeah, they're the baddies

in this scenario. You don't, why do you want to drag, it's the same as like saying like you're going to drag CPS into somebody's right. You saw something on a show that doesn't. why are you doing this these these places don't play games lawsuits police 9-1-1 you know three-letter organization you're gonna call the IRS it's like oh okay that that's the

funny I bet the IRS will be interested to know about the super tips I bet you won't be able to get through old man he tried live on the air I want the whistleblower line like we don't have that as an option sir it's not on the menu all right this is is just a funny thing. Like, John does this all the time where he makes a statement that realizes what he just said is not the statement he wanted to make.

So he just completely changes it. And I don't know this as a fact, but I will tell you that I, well, I do know it somewhat as a fact because he, yes, I know it, because he has trashed me to other comedy club those. Well, then he's just like, now allegedly what this guy did was

and I don't know that he did this, but actually I do know they did this. Actually, it's definitely a fact that he definitely did. this. Maybe think through this stuff before you presented on your show. Have a plan in place. Be ready with it.

So this is John bragging about how funny he is. I love when John just blows smoke up his own ass. It's great. And he came to the shows and stayed from both shows and he actually told me there was a girl there was a couple,

there was a few women at the table and it was packed. And they were cracking up so much at my act that the woman says i can't laugh anymore my sides are hurting so which is so funny because it's side splitters yeah she says it knee slappers i can't laugh anymore my sides are hurting it's something that no one says seriously right no one says that seriously and john whenever he hears a compliment he never forgets it yeah a guy told me that he heard a woman say that she liked my comedy. I heard third hand that I was funny.

I've heard John stand-up set in multiple locations. It's all the same stuff. No one is losing their mind over John's stand-up set. The Kardashians are not even relevant anymore. Don't know that anyone's getting enjoyment from John's stand-up. All right. So now John gets distracted by a text that's coming in and just completely ignores his guest, Clay Dadmore.

of the gigs, I'm sure, but still, there's not one. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm just got, I just got a text of Vegas beer cell. It sells, Jerry. What did you say? It's insane the way John runs his show. As soon as he's not the one talking, you just gets distracted by messages that are coming in or the chat, beer sales, Jerry, son of them stuff. You see this with, with Chad and Aaron Holt, too. They'll have somebody on, but they're ignoring them.

They're not part of the conversation. when you talk, I get to switch off now or do my own thing. When Johnny talks on Aaron's show, Aaron's eyes go immediately to the chat. Right. And he's just like, you can watch his eyeballs. Yeah, you can watch his eyeballs reading. And then Johnny stops talking. He'll be like, all right.

So, you know, I'll just go to this next topic. Like, Johnny can ask a question. Because he doesn't know what Johnny was talking about. No idea. It doesn't care. So there's not even relevant. Really great discussions. Yeah.

Really good way to host a show. Oh, this is another funny one. So John has been explaining for the last 20 minutes that these guys are costing them income and they're ruining his opportunities to be a stand-up comedian and he's going to sue over that. And then he wants to save face. He wants to say both things. The other gigs, but yeah, still, it's not on, is it? Yeah. Well, yeah, I'm not going to lose sleep over it.

I mean, I did off the hook, which is Captain Bryan's club just recently. and it went splendidly. And, you know, and I don't, you know, normally I don't, like, I don't contact clubs. I mean, most of the time they'll email me or they'll DM me. I love it, John thinks that's a brag. Yeah, you know, what should be happening is like your manager, your agent gets you these gigs, idiots. Could this help you out?

Hear me out. Yeah. you're being sued. I have four causing John loss of gigs and money and opportunities. It's a word of publicity suit, but yeah, whatever. There are damages. But that's the damages. Sure.

Maybe you can share some of those damages with Chad or Kevin Brennan or whoever's trying to get his gigs canceled. Maybe, you know what I mean? Like, if we can split off. You're saying we should add Kevin and Chad to my loss. What I'm saying is you are, you and Shulie already. lost him all his gigs and money right yeah yeah so how is he losing gigs and money but on top with that he goes but i'm also getting tons of gigs did you see that like you couldn't help himself he had a brag about getting booked all over the place anyway lose something you've already lost right

that would be a tough loss yeah yeah all right so the final thing they have on here because this this goes on for a while where he's talking about suing yeah chad and again suing chad i couldn't think of a bigger waste of time there's nothing there to sue over not to imagine it's it's ridiculous for over he has a hundred thousand dollars i don't know what you're talking all right if you say so you think that's not a lot of money but why does he get some furniture for his house then so we don't have to hear the echoes he has that kind of money so this guy chris pike is sending deliveries to people and uh this has been a real problem because it's interfering with john's podcast he's getting pizzas and stuff delivered to ever do his house open doors it get chris fikes and then deliveries and all that sort of shit when i

We're going on with that, anything, any news on that side of things? On what? That Chris Fike guy. Oh, we're making headway. I had a long talk with, like I said, I talked to my attorney out here in Florida for a long time. And he's going to, yeah, we're in the process of a subpoenaing Twitter and Google to find out who he is. Because really what he's doing is, is harassment. to like keep sending and doxing people's addresses,

I mean, on a regular basis, you know. We're going to go after Papa John and Mama Celeste. They're going to subpoena exit YouTube. Good luck with that. Sure. Yeah, yeah. I'm sure they'll give up all the personal information on this guy who's harassing you with pizza deliveries. But John, again, had a long conversation with his attorney, so I'm sure that's going to happen. Fantastic.

How that usually works. The longer the conversation, the more serious things are. All right. Let's head over to Cardis' fantastic game. You know it. You love it. To poke a dabbler. Everyone plays along at home.

It's time for everyone's favorite new game show. A poke. A dabbler. What do you say, Carl? And co-host. Are you ready to poke? A dabbler? Let's see.

That has it. Uh, yeah, yeah, yeah, do, do, do, do do do do do do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. Okay. No, no, I don't want to donate. They're not going to tell me here either. Fucking hell. Uh, let's see. They're not going to tell me that.

All right, hold on. Uh, let's see. It's like us earlier. uh see if i could find it here i'm just trying to because i because it's just and it's for no other reason that i just love proving these assholes wrong uh uh let's see uh let's see they don't tell me though they got nothing's happening I'm just curious if I can matter

just let's see these fucking assholes you know oh oh oh well what do you know you dumb fuck what do you know what do you know what was John looking for

Here are your choices. Number one, proof that he was a writer on the Channel 9 show. B. How many albums he sold in 1994? Next. The value of his Marshall J.C.M. 800. Next two. Both number one and lastly.

Four, a list of NYU graduates. And lastly Proof that he asked OJ to sign his knife Oh Jesus Christ And lastly too Oh what the fuck Pictures of Shulie's kids So pull

This is not fair Cardiff too much stuff Yeah seven different things now It's too much embedded in two others Very convoluted I always go first I think he's going to say Proof that he was a writer

On the Channel 9 show I think that's what he was looking for there. What do you think, Patrick? Uh, you'll get you reading the chat to just try to determine what I'm not. I just think next, the value of his Marshall JSM 800 is very specific. It's very possible.

Um, but also I do not care. Sure. He got to pretend to care. It's on this game works. Oh, sorry. Then I risk everything on next. Perfect. Next, the value of it is Marshall J-CM-A-Doh. Oh. Oh.

Well, what do you know, you dumb fuck? What do you know? Nothing yet. When you look at that, John Melendez. Wow, NYU graduate. Oh. Holy shit. What do you know, you dumb fucks?

Oh. Oh. Wow. Network, Billy Crystal, John Cusack. Oh, and look, you idiots. Oh. His peers. Boom.

Yeah. John Melendez. Right there. You dumb fuck. I rest my case. Fucking, that didn't take long. Did it? No, it's real short.

That didn't take too long. Did it? I don't think so. You fucking imbecils. That's all for this time. Come back next time to find it if you are man enough to poke a dabbler. Brought to you by patreon.com.com slash Cardiff Electric and Hackamania. Get your tickets now for Hackamania and hackamania.com.

Using promo code, JT. WATP. Sit, Eugene, sit. Good dog. So I'm confused. Did he graduate from NYU? I don't think he did. I mean, Wikipedia, by the way.

a lot of erroneous information. That's what took him so long he had to edit it. That's what I'm saying. That's very possible. Let me just type my name. Insert new row. People in the chat are saying what? It was on Wikipedia. Yeah. So I'm like, oh yeah, maybe

he had to edit it. Like, you probably go look at Wikipedia edits. Interesting. Which I wouldn't know how to do that, but someone could do it for him. For sure. It just took a long time. It took a long time. That didn't take long. We actually had a technical difficulty inside

of that segment. I was able to and we were able to solve it and recover before he got this. Well, he was still going ah, that's great. All right, Cardiff you got us that time, buddy. Congratulations on that. So this is what I know about John in NYU. He had a buddy

who was very close with that he would talk to about all sorts of stuff. And his buddy turned on him, as everyone does because John just takes six, sex, just needs favors all the time. Not a good friend to have. And so he told this guy that he never got the credits he needed to graduate NYU because at that point he was on Howard Stern and was already famous and felt like he didn't need

the degree from NYU. He was off on his way into show business, which I believe that. That makes a lot of sense to me. I couldn't afford it. I was a janitor there, but I would go in at night and I would solve the math problems on the board. Yeah, he just turns into a movie he saw. That I would belief but uh all right uh let me just make sure i'm not missing anything that i need to be doing you look at my notes that are down here where it makes more sense for my eyes to be looking oh yeah i got internet news i'm glad i looked at that let's check out the uh latest on the internet internet news with jenny jiggles from patreon the negative creep rights nice try promoting that band adam but we all know instrumental rock is for jd i's deluxe gushes great show carl

I want to thank Herbie Ver Smells for reminding me it was on. Brian Vavarro adds, I heard it from my friend Gabe Oytcher. John Williams mourns. Geez, it's sad when Opie is more entertaining than Howard. Junkie gripes. Howard's snorfest right into Opie. Fucking Torture.

Schlong Donnerson explains. Those are the two main WATP topics. Do you go to Toys or Us and complain about toys? From Dablers Anonymous, Sharp Benefit comments on John's use of Lowl Cow and Rake. You know, someone had to explain those terms to him as if he were six years old. His only defense was to project those words back on to Carl and Shulie in the form of childish nicknames. Majestic Risk 7 calls irony.

Calling Carl basically was the one who turned him into a lull cow, Snoweastern points out, his lady lull cow name he heard either from Vince or someone else, and he's now using it like he came up with it. He's not capable of coming up with anything on his own. Arkauna agrees. The fact that he stole the Duke nickname from Hitman Dan further supports your belief he can't come up with anything on his own. The fool who follows ads, it's basically John saying, No, you are. Combine that with some in-your-face comedic dancing, and you can consider yourself roasted. He really is a dumb person.

Rogue name, Opines. It's funny that Mr. Big Time Celebrity will be remembered as an absolute punching bag for all of us. Any kind of bio of him will consist mostly of the Dabbleverse. And from YouTube, Dr. Scotty Jones weighs in on channel striking. If John says, It was me. You can bet the farm it wasn't him. S.J. can't help himself.

He needs to lie like we need to breathe. Deadhead is bummed out. I have enjoyed countless hours of podcasts on this channel and never noticed the angle of Carl's head or the orientation of his gaze. But now that it's been brought to my attention, I take back all of my enjoyment. Burn Voth brags.

I'm proud that I'm able to consume Opie's content without giving him any revenue. Burkhead reminds us, let's not forget that Opie is too fragile for us to mention his purple lips. But laughing at this man and his wife for not having kids is fine. Jake Stum is outraged. I wanted to punch O.B. for that guy.

What a huge piece of shit. He goes out of his way to be an absolute asshole. Boss Laker concurs. Obie's treatment of his co-host is startling. He's so bitter and nasty at the drop of a hat. Joe's 1429 reports, Opie has almost completed his full stuttering John Metamorphosis. And 655 plays his out with,

Happy Ronica. Happy Ronica, indeed. Patrick Melton, thank you so much for coming on the show. show i want for coming i want people to check you out on nobody likes onions you must have a show coming up it's a bit a minute sure what are you doing what's going on we're going to be on next who knows good answer so it's the beauty of me so subscribe to nobody likes on youtube and hit the notification bell so that you know when patrick's on because that's the only way you'll find out yep it's no other way you can watch it later that's true and then you can rewind and fast forward

it's great yeah all right uh we got a couple of voicemails coming in and then we'll get out of here because we have dinner reservations. And, of course, our voicemail line is dedicated to Gary and San Diego, who passed away this past year. It's a bunch of crap. When you're going to make? Rock and Rolla. The Rock and Rolla voicemail line starting off with comment on Andrew Schultz.

Dude, Andrew Schultz is such a fucking phony goblin. Do you know that thing when he was on with Charlemagne And Charlie Lynch, keep your wife off the fucking in it And Andrew Schultz is like, yes, that's what the fuck I'm saying, dog Well, if you remember fucking like a week or two or whatever it was Andrew Schultz was on there saying like Oh, we're going to pump your ass mean up. Well, we got playing behind the scenes And we're going to, oh yeah, just wait, she's ready to take over the internet

He's a fucking phony a phony I'd like to say some vile, anti-Semitic things, but I won't ruin your podcast. Fuck him. And Vinny's a fat, so Vinny's a fat fuck,

Vinny's fat. That is true. Vote for Carl. At the creep off, well, Patreon.com slash the creepop. We're in voting now. Go vote for Carl out there. All right. Someone's calling in about working with the Howard Stern show?

Hi. I was giving this number. I was told this is the number to call if you want to send in a resume for the Howard Stern Show. So I was just calling about that to find out where to send the resume. You can reach me back at the number that I called on. And my name is Thurston, Thurston Ford Bush. Thank you. I hope to hear from you. Have a good one. It took a while to get there, but I like it. Did you hear where Howard was doing all those silly names? He was thanking the people. for his contract extension. It was literally like Mike Hawke. This is what he's doing recently? This was on the show this past week. He was doing all the names that were funny on The Simpsons in season two.

King of all media. It's crazy. He's got a staff full of writers. I don't know how he does it. This is actually a really good idea. You're familiar with Caleb Hammer, financial audit. This is a great idea. I don't call him Calib, but sure.

What's his name? Caleb? Is it Caleb? Yeah. Oh, Caleb Hammer. Calib? You ever heard anyone named Calib? Yeah.

The Hammer guy for financial audit. All right. This is a brilliant idea. I think you'll agree with us. Carl, the Strunk Engineer. I just got done listening to the Wednesday show, and I, like, had an epiphany. Someone brought up Gino and his credit card debt, and it just dawned on me. We have got to figure.

out of way to get Gino and Kiki on Caleb Hammer's Financial Live podcast. That would be, oh, my God, can you imagine, can you imagine seeing the financial documents of those two dung your heads laid out for everyone to see? It would, oh, God, it would be incredible. Make it happen, Carl. You're in charge of the internet. Just figure it, figure it out. See you.

That would be fantastic. It would be great. I would absolutely love to watch Gito get dressed down by the best. They're like, so I see you guys are super chatting, $38 a day? What is? Yeah. Well, that, hey, that's promotion for the show, Daddy. God.

I would actually like to see a lot of people in the devilverse go on that show. Yes. But we can start with Gino. That's fun. But let's get Chad on there. Let's get Ray DeVito on there. Everybody. I'm very curious.

See everybody's numbers. I know you guys saw the segment where John was hitting on Miss Judy again. And he just comes across as so desperate. It's such a bad look. The guy has no game at all. Listen, I love getting my dick wet as much as the next guy. But I sit here and listen to John fail horrendously to hit on Judy.

And I just think to myself, you know, how can a guy be this desperate for pussy? And then I realize, do you think it's because he realizes that every day he wakes up may be his last? I don't know. Just a thought. What a sad, sad, sad little. man. I don't think that's true. I don't think John thinks he's going to die so. He thinks he's pumping up at the gym. He's in great shape. Why not go? Why not just go to your local

bar in these retirement communities and just meet a woman? Like, like, there's a lot lizards wandering around somewhere. Like, I don't, I don't mean like, no, no, I'm saying like John's age. I get it. Like, there's female John's hanging out of bars all there. That's true. that is true John has no game because he always was a celebrity so he didn't have to develop any game and now he's an ugly, trolley

broke loser so girls are not into that and then they go back to his house and it's a fucking disaster, it's cat shit over there. I know what it's like, John. All right, we should probably let slow wife out of her cage in a minute. I just got Timor real quick

for us. She's out of water. Oh my God. Did you hear what piano said about Carl on Stuttering John's podcast. Child, did you hear it? Chad Dumock said about merch on Kevin Brennan's

podcast. Chad Dumach he ain't shit. Ladies, you know where he really can find out about all this on who are these high schools? Formerly known who are this podcast before we jump the shark. Who are these high schools? Okay.

Fair enough. I guess that's what I'm doing. I'm talking about what Chad is saying about Keanu or whatever. give that guy a comedy special. Beetle Deuce says, did Gino formally tell you you're not friends anymore? No, I've not heard from Gino directly. He just talks to me through his show that I only see because a clipper clips it. That's a weird way to communicate with someone who used to text with.

And you have to watch it in that window before he strikes it and hasn't taken down. Right. For me to even see that he's mad at me and wants me to respond to something. God damn it. All right. I think we've done enough here. It's been a fantastic show. I really appreciate Patrick.

for hosting us today. Thanks for having me having you. It was great. I got to go. Bye. I got to go. I got to go. I got to go.

Okay. Bye. Go fuck yourselves. Have a good week. Bye, Brennan. Bye. A plane has hit. I rewatched Carly.

Boom. Like his mom. Boom. That was a great episode. That was really great. Man, that was a good episode. That was a good episode. I enjoyed that.

Bye-bye, everybody. I love it. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Listen, shut up for a second.