Who Are These Podcasts? - Ep707 - Food Court

Episode Date: March 8, 2026

This week we’re checking out Michael, Jordan, Eric, and Sauce Monkey Nick. These guys have a Discord server and YouTube channel dedicated to shows about fast food. How has no one else ever thought of this?? Oh wait. Vinnie Paulino joins the show to tell us about how much chicken there is in a chicken pot pie from KFC. Whitney Cummings had her fiancé on her podcast and it’s way worse than you would think. Chris Cole asks her mundane questions that she can’t formulate answers for. Stuttering John did a standup comedy show in Allentown, PA that was attended by about 20 people. Most of the people were our friends from the Dabbleverse. We have the full audio to share of this debacle. Then Manny Muskets and Tony from Hack the Movies hop on to give us an eye witness account. We finish up with Net News and your voicemails. https://thecreepoff.com/ Tony's channel: https://www.youtube.com/@HackTheMovies⁩     Manny's stuff: https://linktr.ee/mannymuskets  Support us, get bonus episodes, and watch live every Saturday and Wednesday: ⁠http://bit.ly/watp-patreon⁠ ⁠https://watp.supercast.tech/⁠ Come to Hackamania! April 10-12 in Las Vegas, use promo code WATP for 10% off – https://hackamania.com/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I told them in the strongest of words to just do it. You see, this is a we just do it kind of show. Episode 707. Are you a boner guy? Oh, I was a boner guy. You know what? I missed penis. What are you talking about?

I'm the one who should apologize. Is it going to be absolutely riveting? Is it going to change your life by any stretch? Probably not, but it's going to be at least entertaining, okay? By the way, for those people that are in the back, remember to shut the fuck up. Maddieo! Oh, fuck off. Cuzzaroo.

Cuzzaroo. Slapparuni. It's showtime. WATP. WATP. Hello, everybody's a Cuckeroos. Welcome to another episode of Who are these podcasts. The only show that watches the Doom Clip from Style 119, the clip from Dirty Jersey,

and makes with the Waka Waka. I'm your host, Carl, the $850,000 man with me this week, the man who's lost a ton of Owlite from the creep off. It's Vinny Paulino. Oh, something nice he said about me for once. Nice to be back in the basement, Carl. Thanks for being here. Producer Chris is with us as well.

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Hackamania. com is where you want to go to get your tickets. April 10th through the 12th in Las Vegas. WATP will save you 10%. 10%. That's too much. Take my money. If you're not at this show, I don't know what you're.

you're thinking. This is going to be so much fun. It's going to be like 10 Roddy's gigs. Right. We are going to boo you so hard, Carl. I know, I know, I know. I'm just going to read your criminal arrest record and that'll show you. And I'll gloat about it.

I talked about that once a decade ago. Yep. So anyway, hackamania.com promo code WATP. Also, we encourage our listeners, give us five stars on ample podcast or wherever you review podcast and then shit all over us in the comment section today we'll be reviewing food court from the 100% eat channel this is a suggestion for mr killjoy 88 we've all listened separately not discuss it with each other beforehand the 100% eat youtube channel has 49,400 subscribers the description is welcome to 100% eat the show where we try every fast food restaurant to let you know if you need it

you probably do formerly face jam our heroes are flying the new banner of 100% eat high are you 100% in? No, no, I'm good. This is run by these guys named Michael and Jordan and their corn balls. And there's a show they put out recently that's called Food Court. It's one of the shows they have on this channel.

And the episode's called Food Crimes, cook sucker tier list, and A1 shots. It also includes their producer Eric and the sauce monkey Nick, who's a guy in a monkey costume. Are you allowed to call people that on YouTube? I hope so. I don't want to get struck down like Kevin Brennan.

That would be very sad. So this is the kind of zaniness. We're in for strap in, everybody. Wow. Welcome to Food Court. Nick, Nick, show us on screen so we can see us big. I'm looking at us. I can see us.

Wow. Welcome to Food Court. We are back, the Honorable Judges Michael and Jordan presiding. Bang the Caval. slam dunk. Oh, you missed. He's out of practice. Yeah.

They do this show on Discord. And they have a live Discord chat that's going along with them. And the problem with that is that they get distracted by it. Guys, we're back in the food court presiding again. Very excited with what we have to come up. The chat going crazy style. Very nice. Thank you for joining us live on our Discord channel.

Patreon.com slash 100% eat is where you can sign up and get Discord access. People are posting animated gifts and images. The guy's like, whoa, there's a picture of me out there. Jesus Christ. Maybe people with ADHD shouldn't have a live chat. Not for everyone. Scrolling through as they're trying to host a show, probably. Now, Vinnie, you looked at a different show on this channel.

Yeah, I did. See, what I learned is that this show, when it was Face Jam, was on that rooster teeth network. Oh, rooster teeth. Wait a time of the thing? I guess. Okay. And they were on there and they left and they... You should know.

They changed the name. Wow. Wow, producer Chris. Is this because of the pay cut? Is that why you're lashing out at me? Yes. I know. If you get paid...

There's more comments. I'm going to sing the fuck out of you. You got, I've been zing. Did I love it? Sorry, Vinny. Go ahead, Benny. You were talking. What I was saying is, this is exciting now.

All right. Well, I watched their main flagship show 100% Eats. Okay. And I was not impressed with their introduction. The dynamic of these guys really threw me off. Tell me if you agree, Carl. Welcome to 100% Eat. The show where we try every fast food restaurant to let you know if you need it. Probably do.

Question mark. I'm your host, Michael Jones. I want to have my co-host, Jordan, how are you? I'm feeling quite good today on this day. Why the fuck are you feeling good? Why wouldn't I be feeling good? It's a good day. It's a great day.

Oh, wait. I just remember. It's pretty un-American what you're saying. Oh, I thought you were talking about the KFC we ate. That's also, that also might be un-American. Kentucky? You're out of here. What?

Yeah. Carl, I feel like two of these guys have a dirty little secret that they have between each other, and they're, like, looking at each other. longingly and giggling. And the other guys just sitting there like, oh, well, it's a great day. It's a normal day. The other two are like, I can't believe you said that. It's such a weird dynamic that makes me want to listen to no more of it.

Yeah, that's a very awkward start. And they're swinging on everything, huh? It doesn't be over the plate. They'll just take a whack at it. We've brought this up before, but this sounds like when you're a kid and you're talking into a tape recorder and your music bed is like a little boombox. That was nonsensical. And I couldn't even hear all of it.

and they don't deserve to have people laughing in the background. Yeah, the producers cackling in the background. Like it's a West Coast comedy podcast. It doesn't work. So what Mr. Killjoy 88 said in our Discord, the review suggestions channel in our Discord, we appreciate him putting this in here. He said, 100% Eat is like the Do Bois podcast, but more of a hang. Do you guys remember Doobo Boys?

Vaguely, yeah. Yeah, that was one of these shows where it's just like these chuckle fucks trying to crack each other up with dumb improv stuff. and talking about food. And I guess that's what this is, too. Do you have a clip that maybe sums it up for us, many? That sums it up for you?

Sure. Or just whatever you want to play next. You know, just play. I'm going to play you the next clip. Perfect. That's number one here that it's the clip that Helmy immediately decided. It comes right after this, that this show is not for me, and I never want to hear it. He's been making all kinds of face noises today.

Yeah. Face noise. Okay. Yeah. Getting over, getting sick. I'm a car. He was fucking munching. I don't munching.

Mawing? I don't know. Trying to think of a good word for what you were doing and what the food is. He was maw in his way through that. Were you globing? I don't know. It wasn't globing. It's too dry to glob.

It was pretty dry. It was, he was just like, he was funneling, and he was just chomping. And he's just going, I, it has been the full. I was like, wow, you're really breathing through your nose over there. It's like, oh, my. That was immediately followed the introduction, Carl.

Which one's the funny one? Supposedly the guy who's in the center. He's just the loudest. That's what I thought. I think he thinks he's the funny one. You know what I'm here? You know what this reminds me of the energy of the show? Great show that came into its own that's awesome is it's always sunny in Philadelphia.

But if you go back and you watch the first season before Danny DeVito got there, they're all just screaming at each other trying to be loud. That's what the show is. Well, I'm glad you brought that up because they're, chatting over each other to start off this episode of Food Court. And we're here. And guys, I think it's time to get some... Should we know it is?

You've been panicking about it. For 10 minutes. I'm ready to get this going. I post it like it's the wrestling thing. Yeah. That's fine. It's very... No, I said I'd like.

Somebody has to. And it is time to get... Our summons... Fuck you! Our summons were sent out. You get a priority reading. If you are on the Patreon, you can send in your food crimes the summons sent out.

This is going to be our first one today. They're like having a sidebar. These two guys are like chatting with each other as the guy who's trying to host the show is trying to get things started. And the premise of this is, and this is always a good idea, is you let your fans come on and run the show. So they have this dude on who is going to talk about like these. Okay.

He's a cook sucker. And cook is short for cookie. Yeah. So what he ranks is how good cookies are based on sucking milk off of them. Now, is this straight out of the oven or from the fridge? I'm not going to get into that debate with you. That's too spicy. That's too spicy that debate.

This could be interesting. How much brain damage does this person have a lot? He's a fan of this show. Okay. So, yeah, they want to get started with this tier list of cookies. is Sierra Green here with us today. Deadly musician?

Real quick, you've already messed it up. Why? We're supposed to be starting with the tier list. Are we really starting with that? Yeah, it's a follow-up. Why do you guys put me in between this? Why are you guys putting me in between this? I can't believe we're starting with this.

This is crazy. I don't even know what you're talking about. Tier list seems crazy to start. All right. Hey, hey, Jordan wants to start with it. He says... Sierra Green, sit the fuck down. Sierra, you must wait.

The cook sucker. So basically people get the invite on Discord to come on audio only and present what they want to present to these guys. The first person here is talking about cookies and milk. The second person comes on and talks about drinking vodka and A1. And so it starts out with a little bit of tech issues. That's a week about it. Well, this is good. We've been hiding it up.

It gets shit done. What? We've been kicked off the stage. God damn it. Guys We're back The cook sucker Wait

Was he here by himself Yeah he was alone You had to show for a second The whole show was just We got kick off the stage Eric froze and Nick screamed God damn it Wow

Wow that was incredible Well Oh they called it a show That was cute That's fun I just want them to shut the fuck up They're so loud If they were

Teen T-E teenagers, you'd understand this. Right. It would make sense. I was thinking there's like a grade school play. Yeah, these are adults who are having fun. We have a show time in their discord with a bunch of losers. And the losers are fucking with this guy, Eric, who's trying to run the show.

Wait, wait, wait. Hang on. Everyone stop. Do we have audio right now? Okay. Everyone's saying yes. This is what happens when I see three in a row that go, yeah, I don't think I have audio. makes me nervous.

You are, just so you know, it's your fault. That's, okay, it's your fault. Chat. Fix it. Shut the fuck up. All you have to say is,

I can't hear it. This guy is on the edge of a clip. Yep. So, so he's very easy to fuck with and the chat just is Lucy Goosey, as the kids would say.

And the show is meaningless and rambling. I'm sure that their flagship show, 100% eat, is better than this, but I'm sure it's, Much better produced, more interesting. You can actually follow it maybe.

Carl, I tried. My last clips that I have on there, I didn't pull that many today. This is so hard to get through, buddy. No problem. But what I wanted to point out is how they actually review something. Oh, perfect. So my clip number two there is going to walk us through. Well, actually, you know what?

Save that one. We'll go number three. Okay. We got the pop pie. I'm like, oh, I'll get a pop pie. Now I ate a little bit of the filling. Nick also ate a little, little bit. Okay.

But I'm telling you, imagine 10, 20% of the filling is what we ate. This is how it looks when you crack it. I took pictures. And also, as you're taking the pictures, this guy's sucking it off. Oh. He was like, wow, that looks good. Oh, look at the top. Flaky cross.

And I literally went, do you fucking work there? That literally is like, where are you? Where the fuck's the danger? As soon, I think he screamed that as soon as he screamed that as soon as, he opened it. Dude, just like a cave. Like, alien versus predators.

Like, you fell, fall, like, into the core of the earth or whatever. And there's monsters fucking down there. And there's gay sex during the Super Bowl halftime show. Those two men looked at each other. One spaz is enough for a show. Yeah. But all of them.

One spas can be fun. Yeah. You know? Right. The Beavis guy, the Cornholio guy from that one show that we watched. You're like, oh, okay. It's ridiculous. Yeah.

Bookered up show. Yes. I hope that kid's still alive. Fetno overdose, actually. Oh, man. But I watch this and I'm thinking like, okay, you're shocked that the KFC chicken pot pie is garbage? No, these guys are mildly successful.

They have a Patreon. They have an audience on here. Like I said, they have more YouTube subscribers than we do, so I'll give them that. Do we need any more shows that review fast food or movies? Every fucking asshole is like, I like eating movies and cheeseburgers. Like, yeah, we all do. Sucks.

I'm sorry. I got off track there. Bro, you're 100% right. You're 100% right. 100% to eat. But here's the problem. A thousand percent. Yeah.

Here's the problem with these guys. I'm still waiting for a review on how is this thing. He's okay. There's no chicken in it. Tell me more. Clip number four. Every bite that Michael took, we were all kind of scattered around the house. Jordan was eating popcorn downstairs because he was so mad about the food.

Yeah. We were all scattered around the house, and we could just hear Michael. Nope, no chicken in that bite. And then a few minutes later, still no chicken. I kept, I was like, surely it's just like they skimped on chicken. Yeah. And I was expecting a piece. No chicken in the chicken pop pie.

President Trump, if you're listening. Yeah. Let's get on this. I know you're being a little willy-dilly with the Bobby's lately. But whatever this house is. where they're screaming about their bites of chicken pot pie across the house. These people are so fucking loud. I want to kill them.

I didn't realize how political this was going to get. Yeah, right. Just bomb their house. So if you have an extra bomb. Okay. All right, you guys are ready to learn about the cookie tier list? I bet you are. You've heard enough about the chicken and the chicken pot pie or lack thereof.

Let's get into this cookie list. Jay, can you explain why the Milano, the Snickerdoodle, and the Biscop are all at the top? All right, so these are the tears, and they have little images of each of the cookies. There's the suck king. Those are the best ones. There's a solid suck. There's the suck mulage varies. There's not worth the suck.

There's suck shit. And if you suck this, you're a freak. And there's cookies in each of those categories. Because they're really good. They taste really good, and they hold up super well. All right. So they're going to let this. idiot try to present why he picked these cookies the way that he did.

Because they taste really good. Oh, good stuff, cook sucker. I'm really glad that this is a 20-minute-long segment. Makes a lot of sense. This is the kind of improv you can expect from these idiots. So chocolate chip, ginger snap, peanut butter, and... I made chocolate chip cookies recently with a different recipe than I usually do. Good for you.

And there was way more salt in them than I would usually put. Yeah. And it works so well. It's crazy. How well. Like the little bit of excess salt works with the milk. It's great.

Okay. All right. Let's salty milk is what he's talking about. Yeah. That's not super salty. I'm not just something in it. He's not dumping. Eric,

Eric, it's not bilk. But you did say excess. He did. Yeah. So on. Good stuff, guys.

Bilk. This is why you don't have idiots. Girlfresh. I don't. else that makes sense. This collar, by the way, this is a big deal to be on the show, and the collar is panicking. Okay, but with oatmeal cookies, it depends on, like, the way the cookie is made, because

some of them are really, like, I have spots on my eyes. I'm going crazy going this. That's what the cookie says. That's what you're saying. Me, just being here, like, I'm going to die. You had a goddamn year. I don't get my social anxiety down. You have a year to get it.

get over and aren't you a better person now? Can you go talk to people in crowds? Should I yell more? Will it make it work faster? Yeah, you should. Oh, good. Now, that's not an isolated incident because the second person they have on,

Sierra, is also a nervous wreck. I'm so nervous. I'm shaking. Oh, wow. Oh, shaking like a leaf. Don't be that nervous. Did you see what just took 20 minutes?

The stakes couldn't be lower. Ah. So these people are unprepared and they're like the main source of content. They're like, all right, we'll have these people come on and do this thing. And they call in and they just go, uh, uh, am I, am I on there? Hi, Mom. We don't know what to do with themselves. So let's get back to the talent, Vinny.

Let's go back to the 100% eat show. Well, obviously, Carl, they're going to tell us how the chicken pot pie tasted now. Oh, shit. We're still talking about chicken pot pie over here. Carl, that's all they talk about is chicken fucking pot pie. God damn it. Is this clip five? Yes.

All right. He looked at it and he's like, oh, this looks good. And then he started scraping it with the fork and going, ooh, flaky. Oof, like, and then. And then he's like digging at it with the fork. And the crust comes off. And he's like, oh, there's stuff. Where is it?

And then digging around and going, there's nothing in here. And then he keeps going. And then Michael's going, peel the top away. What are you doing? Like, just get the whole top. There's just like a little. There's nothing. I'm sitting across and I'm peeking through it.

And he's like, take a picture of this. Take a picture of this. There's just nothing. The top's on. It's fucking empty. It's like a third full of filling. No checking. Crazy.

Crazy. Anyway. That's really. And that would happen. Who fucking cares? And then? And then? Oh.

And then? Carl. It's never. going to get to a point where they're going to talk about where the food is. At least what they're going to talk about is their experience of all of them hanging out. Right. Like, why not do this on the show if it was so fascinating? This guy put his fork over here or this guy's looking through that way. Like, that sounds riveting stuff, guys. It's going to multi-camera shoot on this one. Oh, man. The only thing I think that's worse than watching assholes eat chicken pot pies on the internet is listening to this.

Watching the assholes get rid of the chicken pot pies after. Towards. Yeah, just listen to these dickheads thoughts on it really is the problem for me. Yeah, well, they keep making the same point over and over again. Okay, Carl, he's finally going to explain it. Let's see if he explains it. Yeah, I'm totally lost on what the problem is here. I have no clue. Okay. Hey, you eat with your eyes first. Right. But also, we had just eaten with our eyes and then our mouths on the actual food. And I couldn't believe how much like it was. It was how much. The benefit of the doubt was outrageous. I literally going, what did you just eat? He's outrageous. Hang on guys, maybe everything's wrong. Why? Why were you being positive after what would you experience? There's no need. This guy comes in, he just like shoots your kid. You're like, no.

He's like, I'll shoot the other one. He might not. He hasn't stopped this one yet. Because it's going to be different. They might have to reload. I don't know. I'm different now. I'm more confused now, actually.

I thought you was going to clear things up for me. Carl, they never talked about the pop pie again. Oh, fuck. So this is just an excuse for them to hang out and scream at each other. Yeah, Carl. And you want to know it bothered me the most? What's that?

Play my one clip that you didn't play. Okay. You guys eat at KFC a lot? No. Not really. Only on this show. Yeah. I used to do as a young inn, but...

Yeah, it's true. I think we talk about this every time we do. Well, it's not only... Not only... Not only is it a lot as a kid. KFC probably fell off a little bit, but also we grew up. Yeah.

And it just probably always saw it. But on top of that, why the free? Fuck what I go to... KFC went all in Austin. Oh, so why would you make us all listen to your fucking review about it, asshole? Yeah.

This is what you're upset about, but they don't go to KFC enough. No, I'm upset. What's wrong with these idiots? They don't give a shit about it anyway. I got some right here. Talk about it. Give him the bucket. Oh, you got a bucket?

So he counts down. I couldn't listen anymore. These guys are the worst, man. Yeah, that sucks. Yeah. All right. So getting back to our guy who's getting the tea, the cook sucker guy.

So everyone seems to be confused about what is going on on this show. The chat, the chat's been going crazy. It's just people going, hey, what the fuck is going on? I'll be honest. Usually I'm like, you people ask for this. No, I know. And they're reacting to it. Okay.

So even the chat, who I guess is used to this nonsense is going, this is more nonsense than we're used to. And so we try to get it back to the real reason why we're here, what we're supposed to learn from this. Not worth the suck. The Golden Orrier. Oh, boy. The doce, the doce. The, is that tree foil? What is?

Foil. Okay. So they continue on with this. They should have abandoned this bet because no one's understanding it. The caller is panicking. It's not interesting. It sounds like a morning radio bit. Totally.

Call in. Tell us what cookies. You like to dunk in milk. What about the Oreo? Is this where the radio people went? Yes. Is this where they went? I think that's where I think we found them.

Holy shit. These are the idiots who call into radio that we found them. They're hanging out on Discord. They're either the ones making the chicken pot pie at KFC for these idiots or they're these idiots. Right. That's where they've ended up. Unbelievable. All right.

Well, this is something they probably say a lot. Let me ask. Now, say you're left with yourself and a cookie only that's not worth sucking. That's the only one you have. Are you still going to suck it? Even if you know it's not worth sucking, are you going to suck and have a bad time or you're not going to suck it? If it's shortbread, I'll give it a try because the last shortbread I had was just really dense.

So I think that might have been the issue, but the other three, I wouldn't. So you would just choose no suck over a bad suck. Cock sucker. You don't sound so sure. It's got to be a good suck. I'm sure. They love saying suck. Isn't that funny?

They just keep saying it. So outrageous. I wish someone would suck me. Is this true? Peace love happiness says, cook sucker was a scorch bit. Not saying they're stealing. Just break minds thinking like that makes so much sense.

Steal from the worst. I was just going to say, this is like K-Rock 1995 drive time. This makes so much sense. They have some hot takes on fortune cookies, guys. I don't know if you guys know this. Fortune cookies, not worth the suck. Not a great cookie for dunking in the milk. You've decided to call out others in your cook-sucking tier list.

And that is... I mean, you gotta... You could be snobbish about sucking and cooks. Can you? Can Spencer be snobbish about built? I can choose what a freakish. You can. You can choose it. And you've chosen Fortune cookie.

The... Gracie, we're here, she'd be like, no! Yeah, shit's extreme. Is Gracie dipping them in milk? I'm not cook sucker. Yeah, that's cereal. I'll go out and say, I can't imagine. That's good to suck on.

It's hard enough to bite. It's hard enough to eat. It's hard enough to eat. I go, ow, my mouth. Yeah. I don't know. cookies. I gave it to my dog. Glavin.

That's a pretty hot take right there. You suck. How about that? Pretty good stuff, huh? So, finally, they start wrapping up this bit, this segment, and this fucking moron Jordan on the end decides to keep it going for some reason. Fair, fair. Well, Jay,

thank you very much for your tier list. It's a solid list. We are so informed. I feel more information than was required. This is like, probably. I'm going above him beyond. This is like the most informative I've ever felt ever about a tier list

because I've never understood it less. Like I have the most great point to gain. It's a great point. You know what I mean going into it. Like I know all the cookies, but I didn't know what the fuck you were going to say about them.

The truth and canon. I know. That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm like, whoa. Oh, that's what you see someone like We sat down. I mean like, you be like, Milano, I hear those suck good.

Oh, those are suck key. Oh, dude, suck fortune? Yeah. Dude, I'm asked, we sat here before we got into it. I saw Oreo down low. Oh, no, that's bad. And then you explained why. I'm like, oh, makes sense.

I agree with you, Oreos down there. This isn't about good cookies. This is about suck cookies. Real quick, from my edification. What is it about the iced oatmeal that is varying in suck mileage? What the- What is this garbage? How do they have a podcast?

This is bullshit. Ah! I can't fucking take it! I have a question. Is it about cooking? No, it's just, it's about the show. Sucking. Yeah.

Why are they wearing judges, robes? What does this have to do with court? The Duke of Definitions is a better more thought out bit than this. Wow. Yeah, you're right. Roasted. Everything's so dumb. That I didn't even point out the dumbest part about it. You're right.

All right, so finally they move on to the next bit here. Right into the next one is what I mean, because guys, oh, that's right. That genuinely scared me so much. I started playing it started playing and I thought something really went wrong I got like I thought we were in like a tune town mess I got nervous Tune town yeah Sierra Sierra are you here a a yeah that's it Sierra yeah that's it Sierra how like I thought I didn't invite to speak Sierra a hello how are you Jesus Christ. A good, good girl?

Oh, Toon Town. Get the dip. Fuck you guys. Yeah. So as I mentioned, this woman talks about how she chases vodka with A1 sauce. And so Michael here decides like, oh, I can do a stunt. I'll do a stunt while I'm on the show. He doesn't have A1 sauce there.

But he does have barbecue sauce and he does have vodka. So he's going to try this out. Doody. There you go. There's the shot. And here's the barbecue sauce. Down the hatch. He's making a face.

It looks good. You like it. Let me point out that everyone's already losing their minds laughing at this. Yeah. Yeah, you just did the thing you said you were going to do. Okay. It's going to get funny. I'm driving into a tree laughing.

Yeah, I know. The colors, I could just see it. Oh. Is it on your nose? Yeah. Mike you like is it is it good? It's an interesting experience where the vodka stops and burns here but the sauce stops here

made you very difficult to speak even when I've got the vodka night do you see what's going on in the chat people already have the image of him after he choked down the barbecue sauce and they're posting it there like these are dorks who are not here to enjoy a program or something they are the program do they have clippers for this channel I'm sure they do.

Oh, no. I want to chase it. The chaser doesn't reach it. It stops. Chaser stops. It's right. Burn it down here. I'm burning down here.

And I'm choking up here. I guess it's... All right. That's enough of that. That's a food court from, uh, Mr. Killjoy 88. He sure is a killjoy today. Mission account. If I had to sum this show up, because like I listened to like more of 100% eats there, Carl.

Yeah. And I just want to say this. They didn't have the worst take. on the actual food at points. Okay. But you actually hear what they were saying. It was coherent. But here's the thing.

One person was talking. I hate them so much that even if I agree with them, I don't want to. Right. So fuck that show. Tell me about you on the creep off. Yeah, I know. Actually. You tell me that.

Funny to say that. Well, speaking of Scorch, Nick Tucker sent this into me. This is interesting. We found Scorch's corpse by a bridge this week. Do do, do do do do do. No, you know Scorch's new app that he has? He's all excited about?

Yeah. Well, it turns out that he ripped it off. This is from three years ago. It's bruise, booze, booze, and shoes from Fisher Brewing Company in Salt Lake City. So Nick found this and showed that the bruise, booze, booze, and shoes has already been taken. Also, people have been reporting to me about using the app, and it is useless. Right. Because, like, literally you go in there and it's like, there's this place in Pasadena.

He's like, okay, I'm in upstate New York. So I'm not sure that's going to be helpful for me. Well, here's a place in Arkansas. Oh, closer. So Scorch went for a cash grab in the worst possible way. Yeah. He's failing miserably at this. This app is not useful or helpful for anyone.

I bet you're not even dive bars at the end of these. Like you get, it's like some chain restaurant. Yeah. Like, it's probably not even. Or half the places are already out of business. Right. Because they're so dumb, they thought they should work with Scor. Yeah, there's a lot of turn over there, Scorch.

You don't have enough time. It's probably not great. Thank you. I didn't realize I was so relevant. Not only is my podcast doing well, but in order for years to do well, you have to talk about me. That's a lot. I hadn't heard that yet. Whitney Cummings did a show this week with her,

fiance, Chris Cole, the skateboarder. That must have got 100 million views. Actually, it has 600, no, 388,000. Oh, okay. 388,000. It's called Question Everything, even Whitney. Before we get to that, this is interesting. An emailer sent this in.

So remember when Whitney was on CNN during New Year's Eve, and she was like roasting the year, whatever, and she was roasting CNN? She had an interesting comment during that. and someone clipped this for me and put it up on YouTube. No one thought that was weird? Are we still rolling?

Crown Princess Saudi Arabia put money into Disney, so just no, there won't be any girl characters. The next car is moving. She made a joke about the Crown Prince of Saudi Arabia. Got your cider check later on when she did the Riyadh Comedy Festival. So I had a T-shirt on and I was stuttering Jen. I would declare a certain department of corrections show up. here and give Whitney a talking to.

You know, it's even crazier if you play that backwards. You could hear very clearly say, I'll never give her the horse back. I knew it. It's fucked up. That's messed up, man. Give Ashley back her horse. All right. So Whitney, for whatever reason, decides to do this episode with her skateboarder, fiance, Chris Cole, and right out of the game.

Amateur boxer. Amateur, but undefeated. The raiding, the defending. And right out of the gate, it's way obnoxious when these two are together. I'm going to be coming to a city near you doing the ha-hazes and the yuck yucks. Chris is going to come to some of them because I'm like, there's a skate park in Des Moines. And I'm like, I love Des Moines. I think the biggest skate park in the world is in the country is in Des Moines.

I'm in Des Moines, Iowa. I'm coming to Philly on April 3rd, Philadelphia, where he's from, as you. can tell by his personality and general vibe and shoulders. I'm so proud of that. And, and, yeah, gross.

Um, so this is, uh, introducing Chris Cole to the show. I am here with a legend. A brilliant athlete, a physical Adonis and God. Pat Fogarty,

welcome to the program. We also have my fiance. Chris Cover call We have fun down here You're like that MisterX Pretty good, huh? You thought she was talking about her fiance

The professional skateboarder When she was talking about Her co-host out there instead So when he admits something here And I was so excited to hear this She admits that she is not funny And this show sucks Pat, I've been a little stuck creatively

haven't I? No. Oh. Never disagree with me. I don't think so. Okay. I just, I think that the Epstein stuff is so all-consuming, and I'm trying to do an episode that is not about Jeffrey Epstein.

Huh. I mean, Pat gets what he deserves for being involved, but. Yes. Poor Pat. I know. I've been really shitty lately, right? He's like, no, you're great. Yeah.

What I'm supposed to do? You're supposed to agree? No. It sounded exasperated. Like, no, honey. It's awesome. You're great still. As you've heard on a recent segment on WATP, she is obsessed or at least declares that she's obsessed with the F-Seed files.

It's all that's consuming her. And so she decides, why don't we just do a fun light show? We'll take questions from the internet. The years look like they're consuming her too. Yeah, it's not great. So she goes, all right, I'll have my husband on or my fiance, Chris. and we'll just take questions from the internet, or will they? My plan was to get questions from like Instagram and stuff,

but sometimes when I do that, people are like, oh, so we're writing your show for you? It's like, yes, yes, yes. I am. So you're going to ask some questions. Pat's going to ask some questions. But I had them in mind. I was like, what?

Would people want to know? Yeah. I listened to the show. I like this show. Oh. This is actually kind of a catch-22 for me because I'm not going to have this show to listen to because I was on it. So I mean, I know it.

Ugh. What a kiss ass. Sure he said, yes, man. What are he doing? So he's decided he's going to write the questions. Because they can't trust the internet. No. But a mini-vegini's on the internet.

But Chris says, I wrote the questions, but I have them in mind. The fans. Because he's one of us. He's one of the big fans of this show. Dear Botox hack, Mitch woman. Chris, why don't you write them? All right, so this is why they couldn't trust you, producer crust. They want to just keep it light and fun.

That's true. Okay, so we're going to get to it. We're light. We're funny. We are. Just for today, there is no PDF file ring intact. Okay. So guys, even though we shouldn't be laughing and making jokes because we learned all this

information about Jeffrey Epstein, we're going to just, for this one, moment pretend that's not going on. Okay. So we'd just be goofy and silly and fun. But if I found out that there wasn't a giant pedophile ring cabal, I'd make more jokes about it because I'd feel less bad. Wait. If you found out there wasn't, you'd make more jokes about one being there that doesn't exist.

Yeah. I'd make jokes about it. I'd talk about it a lot. She is terrible at making jokes about. So am I. Jeffrey Epstein. Yeah, we know. So let's hear the first question and the, the, first question.

hilarious answer. Go. We're going to just do questions. I've been getting some messages and comments that are like, let's do the Q&A episodes that we used to do back in the day. Q&A, what do you want to know about me? I'll answer anything. Okay. Except my body count. Chris, go. Whitney Cummings, what are you scared of? Ooh, that's a great question. I contact and monogamy. Okay. Finish this. Hold on. Hold on. What I loved about that is that she goes for a joke. Yes. And even her husband is just like, okay, next thing. Right.

Like, she's not funny. No. And so she has to start cracking up laughing. Like, ha ha, ha. It was a joke. I'm funny. Yeah. I forgot, honey.

I'm sorry. I forgot that you're the comedian. You think dinner's quiet at their house? You laugh. I think so. Because he even talked about, you've done it about for a while where he goes, I listen to your podcast. And so I get all the Whitney that I need.

So when I see you, I already know everything that's going out. I don't need to talk to you at all. Yeah, we don't need to talk at all. It's very funny, actually. he didn't mean it to be. So this conversation about eye contact goes on for a while, actually. It's riveting stuff. She didn't know which I'd look in and didn't know what to do.

So then she brings it back. She goes, hold on a second, though. That was a joke answer. Let me give you the real answer. And what we all love about Whitney Cummings is her inability to finish a thought. So what am I scared of? Like, actually, though, honestly, very few things scare me. except like the deep ocean.

Right. The ocean in general is kind of like, and by the way, I'm right. I'm not scared. I'm just correct. Right. This thing where people go out in the ocean is like the Alex Honnold thing. He is like an underactive amygdala or something and doesn't feel fear.

Like I'm happy for you with. Don't you think, how do you identify a psychopath if you yawn and they don't yawn, right? Or like I think anyone who's just like, I'm going to go out into the ocean. I'm just like cave diving, like stuff like that. I'm like, oh, even watching.

it. There was all my Twitter feed, there was a guy going into a cave. Did you see this? Holy shit. You stupid fucking blah-a-mouth-cut! The question was, what are you afraid of? And then I saw this thing I'm shutting up. Right. Silence. I love his exasperated

body language. He's like, yeah, okay. Here we go. Here comes one of her bits. See you. Yeah, okay. All right, so he asks the dumbest questions. And this is an example of... Will you marry me? That one was pretty stupid. Okay.

Finish this sentence. Oh, boy. If it were normal, I would. Ooh, that's a great question. No, it's not. If it were normal, if it were, I don't, here's, we just, this is my problem. I don't even know what that means. I do things already that aren't, I do it.

I don't think there's anything I don't do because it's not normal. Then why was it a great question? Right. I don't have an answer for that. I'm not sure what it means. You started by saying that was a great question. I assume you have multiple answers potentially. But no.

You know what the real questions that we want to ask is, what's your advertising budget? You guys still buying viewers? Are you embarrassed by this? That you had to come on and admit that the people who are watching your show aren't there because they want to be? You kind of want to talk about that at all? Like those are the questions we want to ask, not like, if it were normal, I would dot, dot, dot, take it away, Whitney. So she has no answer for it. But then she's like, okay, let me think.

Oh, I got it. I got an answer. Oh, how about this? Yes, I would have raccoons as pets. I would have crows. There you go. Yeah, yeah, in my car. I would take them with me, stuff like that.

And then he says, because he's answering these questions that he wrote himself, which is weird. And he says, I would sing in public more. Can we go now? I hate these people. I hate these people so much. What an evil, evil witch woman who wants to have like a menagerie of raccoons and crows? Yeah. It's not healthy.

Doing her bidding. Take their eyes. Just beating up YouTube commenters. Yeah. They're like at the end of Jay and Sinal Bob Strikeback. Yeah. But it's just raccoon showing. Fly to Rochester, my pretties.

Did you call Whitney Cloud Juice? All right. So this is another really stupid question, but the answer is even stupider. I don't think she understands the question at all. When you picture. happiness, where are you in the picture? In, like, location-wise? You picture happiness.

Yeah. Where are you in the picture? Virginia. Dum, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb. That's not what he was asking. What's your favorite place to be in the country? That's not what the question was. I'm off to the left a little.

What a dumb question, though, too. Where do they get this from? A chicks magazine, right? Like, where else would you find questions like that? Do you think he actually wrote them or they were handed to him by the producer? I think he found him on the internet probably. Or the producer, Deb. Yeah, because Pat resents her.

He's like, here, ask these. Well, we heard her declare that this is just a fun light show. She's answering questions. We're getting to know her and her fiancé. Keep saying husband. Her and her fiancee, a little bit better. And one thing she's not going to do is bring up Jeffrey Epstein. You know what?

I actually picture all the PDF files that are currently active. Can I say curb stomped? No. We were going to do that, Whitney. Remember? The question would avoid that?

What's your favorite ice cream? Why are we... What? I'll write down mint chocolate chip. Okay. Next question. This might be the worst. Like, Chris, What the fuck are you doing with your fiance's show?

Are you trying to ruin it? Are you trying to make sure nobody would possibly be a fan of the show? Most memorable trapper keeper in the 80s. 80s, I don't know if it was then because I was born in 82. It was the Lisa Frank. Hey, nobody cares. Nobody cares. She goes out and out of multiple trapper keepers that she enjoyed as a younger child.

What is going on with the show? The reason why Chris asked that is because he wanted to answer the question. I don't recall the name of it. There were some sport ones. And there was like a skateboard guy. And it was like fish eye drawing straight in the front of the board. That would be mine. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's it. You know what? My favorite garment back then was this shirt that said shark attack. And it had blood and like rips on the rib cage. And just that shark attack So sick Also dude do you remember Yeah I remember

What the fuck Is he just trying to think of happier times What's going on? That sounds like two people who wish they were 12 Doesn't it? A little bit And then I had a t-shirt And then one year for Christmas

I got a trapper keeper He's got his skateboard ducks behind him Like he's advertising his skateboard decks He's on the show That's cool, but you know, if the Epstein pedophiles are here, I would throw them into a vat of acid. Right. Let's get back to that. We're getting off topic again.

Oh, sorry. All right. Back to trapper keepers. Well, Chris tries to get serious with this next question. If you could get serious for a minute and give the world lovingly advice, what would it be? No, thank you. Get a pre-nup. I know I wouldn't get anything.

I tried. I tried. Hey, everybody that, like, wants it, I tried. What does he think we want? It's ridiculous. He's like, I'm trying to get some real answers out of this celebrity. Whitney Cummings, you want to know so much more about. We don't.

We're good. It doesn't matter what she talks about. No. What I liked about this next clip is that finally, they talk to me. They talk to me directly. I think people love themselves too much these days. I think people are giving, just be gentle on yourself. I think everyone should be a little harder on themselves, in fact.

Okay, but you're only talking. talking to the people that aren't hate watching the show. Yeah, but it's YouTube. I'm hate watching this show. You're talking to me. Who does he think the audience is for this thing? Besides the fake trackback. Yeah, right.

It's very funny. He's just like, okay, I know that you're on the defensive because everyone hates you and cloud you, but can you be honest about somebody? She's like, no. YouTube won't crush me. And you're not familiar with the comment section? Back to question one.

That is her biggest fear. Yes. Yeah, there's a list of words, actually. I'm not fearful of anything, except for being called. I'm not doing that. Not doing that again. Okay. And to answer your question, blue.

All right. So they bring something up because Whitney says how naive she was when she got to Hollywood. You know, she had the television deals or she was on TV a lot, but she didn't have a lot of money. And Chris says something here that is so true. So I didn't understand like how money worked. and I was on TV but broke and I didn't know that was a thing. I just thought if your head was ever in the box that is the television, you had $100 million.

Everybody still thinks that out there. Everybody still thinks that you have money if you are known. Yeah. And it's actually a whole, dude, famous and broke is a new level of nightmare. Yes, this is stuttering John's life. Famous and broke. That is a nightmare.

people recognize you and know who you are and you can't monetize that at all. We'll be talking about that in just a moment. John's a stand-up show in front of 20 people last night. We have some people who are there. We'll be joining the show. I have the audio. I can't wait to get into that.

But first, this is an actual question that I would like to ask, Whitney. What embarrassing moments still haunts you? Oh, pick me, pick me, pick me. A Riyadh Comedy Festival. The way you handled it. calling all your detractors racists. What's the thing that it's still

embarrasses you, Eddie? What is it? This is our actual answer. One, well, when we kissed for the first time and you used your teeth, that was pretty bad. You bonked your teeth against me. I did not balk my teething at. He...

Fuck off. The problems with having a horse face. Fuck off. Are you kidding me with that? What still embarrasses you? It's not Riyadh. It's the first time we kissed, right, honey? Wasn't that awkward?

They were nine. on that husk of corn. I had my pop flat. Yeah. Fighting over the apple. I thought I was doing it right. When our teeth met. There were sparks.

So Whitney Cummings sucks and she should never, ever have her fiancee on shows with her. We saw her guest on another show with him because she's trying to like, both of them have an image problem. And I think they're trying to work with each other to improve that. It's not working. No. It's not good. Are they trying to be like an it couple?

Yeah. They're trying to be like all cutesy and stuff. Like, wow. What's it like a day in the life of Whitney and Chris? I wonder what that's all about. It looks miserable. Yeah. I'll be at the skate park.

Bye. Oh, but honey, I'm going to miss you. I'll be listening to your podcast. I won't miss you. Bye. All right. Let's get into Senator John. show from last night.

Oh, before I do that. Okay. This is, yeah, there was a reminder that I had on my notes here. So I'm creating a thumbnail because I just posted Keanu Thompson's standup that I recorded from Rodney's. And so I needed a photo, an image, I just recorded the audio. So I needed an image of Keanu Thompson performing standup. So I go to the Google machine

And I type in Kianu Thompson S-T And it finishes Starfish That's what Google Thought I wanted to search for It's very intuitive Isn't that hilarious? And I type pretty fast And it was like foop right up there

This is what you want Getting ready for a game means being ready for anything Like packing a spare stick I like to be prepared That's why I remember 988 Canada's suicide crisis hubline. It's good to know, just in case. Anyone can call or text for

free confidential support from a train responder anytime. 988 suicide crisis helpline is funded by the government in Canada. Anyway, with that, do you guys see that John successfully struck Kevin Brennan's channel yesterday? Yeah, well, he was

interviewing the owner of Rodney's, right? Well, yes, it was the owner of Rodney's and John's been going off on this guy for the entire week. And this guy comes on and says, like, John's a piece of shit and explains all the reasons why. And then all of a sudden in the middle of the interview, boom, it is gone. And, uh, yeah.

So Kevin's channel is down for, I guess, 10 days. Oh, man. And, uh, fortunately, foot soldier Stevie Lou already has a go fund me up for him. Oh, goodness. Stand with Kevin Brennan during his YouTube streaming ban. They have a $182 raise out of 50,000. Now, you might notice my name up there. I tried to give a dollar.

They won't let you do that. I thought it would be funny to skip one dollar, but I ended up giving five because that was the minimum. I'm going to talk to accounting. An unwarranted strike from the evil empire of YouTube with the assistance of one certain deadbeat dad has come upon stand-up comedy and podcast alleging Kevin Brennan. After losing his ability to stream for the next 10 days, he and his family are under dire straights and need your assistance. Any amount helps.

The goal is $50,000. Please keep in mind your thoughts and prayers in this trying time. Please keep in your thoughts and prayers. Sorry, in this trying time. So I have a feeling this is not going to go well for John Melendez. I think this is a bad move. I don't think you want to rile up the MLC crowd. Yeah, Archduke Ferdinand was just assassinated last night.

Is what just happened, everybody? Yes. I think that this is just the beginning of an all-out war. that's going to be a problem for the dabblerverse. Also, you made that sound like anything goes well for him. That's a good point. That's a very good point. Here's what I'm going to do.

And I hope this is okay with, I got Tony from Hack the Movies and Manny Muskitts. Oh, shit, nice. Both backstage, ready to come on. They were both at the show in Allentown last night. I think I want to play the clips first and then discuss it with them, because that will give you guys the context that I've listened to this whole show. And it's fascinating. And I have a feeling these guys are going to, like, want to get way ahead of things.

because it's a slow burn. Yeah. And is that cool? Don't your heads. If you agree with everything I just said, yes, they agree with everything I just said. I would have said that either way. But let's take a look at the show from last night. This is very funny.

This is John seeing someone who's filming him. Pointing at the person. Someone texts me that photo today and I went yuck. Just, ugh. It's hilarious. So he gets there late. He left his house. late. People were pointing out that he was podcasting and striking Kevin Brennan or whatever

and didn't leave Long Island in time to get to Allentown at, you know, Friday rush hour traffic. So he showed up to the theater late. The other problem is the theater does not sell alcoholic beverages. Yeah. He got booked into a place. It's a kind of an awkward spot for comedy. It just had like seating, like a theater seating style, right? A movie theater style. The worst part about them, that's something alcohol in a stuttering John show, is his skull catchphrase is going to go flat. Yeah, well, it doesn't stop him from trying. It starts... All I bet.

He gets off to a really bad start here. Oh, good. Yeah. Holy shit, look at this fucking thing. I can't see anybody out there. But then we got a bunch of people. There's white people here. And I can't fucking believe on him.

shit from the fucking house searcho yeah yeah yep they wouldn't let me take it I know

I can't get beer anywhere this is bullshit I know from the house show to the tonight show

and now to some fucking shit hole in allantown Pennsylvania what a pretty

let me give an idea how bad my career's going the other day I was in an Uber I was driving Okay, so already you can tell us a room full of Danwards.

There's 20 people in this room. Seats more than 20. And everyone saw that joke company. They all know that joke. And, hey, oh, scowl. And John's tag for that Uber joke is one of the worst tags you've ever heard. I played it on this before. This one goes over so flat.

And then John's obsessed with Manning. There might have been other black people there. But, God, he is obsessed with Maddie. He keeps pointing out there's a black guy. in a show. And that was so weird about it. I swear to God, it's true. I was, you know, I'm driving the Uber.

I see a guy that also works at the comedy store. And I see that he's walking like 10 dogs. And I'm like, look at his fucking loser. He's a dog walker. And I'm like, wait a second. I'm in a fucking Uber. I don't know. So the black guys are here.

That was the joke. What the fuck? I'm in an Uber. Oh, fucking hell. That tag's never worked. I don't know why he continues to use that. Because he's not going to write anything else. No.

He doesn't care if it works or not. He just does, he talks. Yep. And say, I'm driving the Uber, you idiot. That's the joke. Crowdwork here is second to done. John likes to make fun of Bob Levy for being a crowdwork comic. So you're black.

John's crowdwork is the pits. And when you married him? How are you to marry? Decade. You don't even know, Dave. It's your wedding anniversary. Don't look at... Anybody else married?

How many guys have you been married? 11 years. 11 years. What's your anniversary? Oh, long jobs. I think that was my brother, by the way. He said he was married for 11 years right there. I've heard comics do this exact same thing before.

This is just a... hack, recycled bullshit. You think? Yeah. And it gets worse. Not great. Where are you? Who just said 22?

Where? All the way back. Oh, I can't even see. 22 years. Winter anniversary. All right. There was no payoff. No.

You don't know how long? You're not going to blow a job. How about you? What's the day? You don't know? Not get a blow job. Yeah, right. It's like, hey, he's getting blow jobs around here.

Are you giving them out? What are you talking about? He'd be really easy to heckle. He would be so easy. Just like, when was yours? So then he goes into, I believe he's talking to Manny. We'll ask him when he comes down and momentarily. I think he's calling Manny gay for some reason.

You know, we have the black guy here. Is that your boyfriend? It's Tony. Those personal friends. Yeah, okay. Judd's such a great liberal. He's like, Hey guys, look at there's a black guy and he's gay

Get him What the fuck is wrong with them? Well, him and Tony were tongue kissing I mean, that's probably true It's just such a hack thing To focus on that And then think like calling someone gay Would be a funny punchline

Oh, this is hackapalooza Well, it's so bad This is pure hackdom What you just played is What am I a hack? Hacker hacker! You might as well go up there and do fucking Get to Know You games

with the fucking audience, you douchebag. What a hack! You're one of the biggest hacks I know. And then there's this joke that never works. You know, I'm half Puerto Rican. I'm half Danish. I'm a Danish spick. I'm a dick.

I steal clogs. Nobody gets that the Danes wear clogs. But anyway. This is going swimming. I'm going swimming. me. Oh, shit. Nobody gets that joke.

I'll explain it. Yeah. It's like, take it out of your act, that if it never works. It's the most defeated manner possible. Now, you'll notice in the image that I showed you that John is holding a beer. He does have a Mickelope Ultra. So we had one coming into the joint, but there's no more to be had.

So this is a problem. I'm milking his spirit. Fucking Johnny. He gave my last beer rich. Like, I would. motherfucker and then we can't get beer anyway. And by the way, Allentown, I don't have a problem.

Look, Billy Joe was born and grew up in Higgs for Long Island. That's where I worked at Sears. Sears. I was in houseware. Jay She's saying. Yeah, I was at Sears. And then I went to work at Movieland, like a video place.

And that's when I got the call from Baba Boohai to tap my phone. first um in my first interview but anyway where will be yeah aging sucks i in my turn 16 he had nothing he just starts going down to the ceramic it's like uh illetown billy jill long island sears bababooie that's amazing isn't that crazy living here in allentown he's so fucking out of that the audience is leaving town just rambling just fucking rambling just fucking rambling Like a moron.

Just sing for them. Then he does his joke about having a bloody ass. And I think Tony from Hack the Movies gets it. If I'm in a troll and I wipe my ass, it looks like a chocolate-covered cherry. You know what I mean? Can I get a little sympathy? Yes.

Maybe that was Maddie. Can I get a little sympathy? Bloody ass. Can I get a little sympathy? So that always kills. The chocolate covered cherry joke. And then he's talking about colonoscopies because he's getting older. He doesn't say that word.

He says colonoscopy. I guess it's some guy who performs these for years. Is that the guy who stayed at his house? I think I think that's Colin. Yeah. Okay. And so I thought it was always supposed to be once every three years. Yeah.

Get back in here. John's joke on this is so lame. You got to get those colonoscopies. You ever have had one of those, brother? Not yet. Yeah, that's a pain in the ass. Oh, I see what you good. Yeah, you see what you did.

Well done. Fucking hack. I was just, holy shit. Yeah, it's the cornea shit possible. And then because we mentioned that John's act is quite dated, there will be a Bill Cosby joke coming up about the camera they shove in your butt. Like, you don't even notice it. This drug is so good.

It was endorsed by Bill Cosby. So he goes, oh, fuck off, and that gets the bigger laugh. Yeah. And the Bill Cosby punchline. He's back. Yeah. Great. It's it.

So fuck off. I love that one. All right. So this is a big moment in the show right here. Because John is like, I've got to nurse this one beer for a 45 minutes set in front of these dabblers. This is going to be a problem. To the rescue, show promoter. Yeah.

The agent blows. But you know, look about, I don't blame. Oh, this is the worst thing about age. I don't know if that happened to you, Rick. I swear to God, I was having sex with this chick. I am not lying. This is an L.A., and it was Marissa. And I'm having sex with her.

So the guy shows up with beers and walks them directly to the stage while Jopton the Bill sitting up is, I had sex with a girl. A joke. As per the instructions they received. Yes. Get them into my hand immediately. is what John said. John just starts like tapping his arm looking for a vein.

He's like, hook me up. Yep. You know I'm not paying for those. Thank you to the person whose name starts with the G who took the photo of this. John's so excited that the beer showed up. So this is when things start following off the rails a little bit for John. People are having fun. They're playing along.

They're going along with the crowd work and all that kind of stuff. There's only one. Oh, fuck off. Hold on. You mean it gets worse? after he got the alcohol. Right? He's not like Popeye.

He doesn't get a beer. You would think. Oh, no. Maybe for the first 45 years of his alcoholism, that's what happened. But not so much anymore. Because a heckle throws him off. I believe this is Tony from Hackton movies who inserts himself into the act. And my sister, Susan, is, don't tell me your tape, motherfucker.

Oh, yeah, bullshit. Yeah. Come on, man. He's clear? He's clean. Oh, everybody tapes me, you know? Focus, focus, focus. Oh, who do you, my mother?

I don't care. I just point. It doesn't matter, but I do care. Why didn't you even tell me? Oh, Jesus. That is that. Yeah, I'm going to go in front of 200 people. and trying to fucking stand up

and they're all, when Pocky, this guy Anthony Coombe is fucking, you know, bit his girlfriend's hanging against our stage. He goes, this is the first joke. Everybody hates a guy who's going to come on next. He'll hit you, John. Anyways, what?

Well, we have. My sister. I think the Q&A started. Yes, the Q&A does commence. Where were we? Oh, yeah, I was just tweeting how bad the show is. Sorry, go ahead.

Yeah, he's so paranoid. People are looking at their phones. He's like, focus, Chad. Come on. Holy shit. And then someone yells out of somebody about Rodney's, and that throws him off. So he goes back to talking about his sister. Now, his sister is a midget.

It's a little person. And before he tells this story, he talks about how there was a little person who he fucked. And he's like, and their vagina is regular size. So it's crazy. These little people are mostly vagina. Like, is the joke that he has. And Mani has probably the biggest laugh.

of the night with this hackle right here my sister is a certifiable dwarf she's 4 foot 7 i make sure a pussy very funny how big how big i told you how big he's 70 percent he's 70 percent 25 young his son was tall and her and he was five very funny line how big's your sister's Plusy, very funny line on that. But he said at the end that she's so short, five years ago, my youngest was taller than her, and he was five. He's 19.

So that means that joke is at least nine years old. And he's still saying it the same way. He's stuck. Like, that's a very sad thing that he still thinks his son is 10. I'm under the impression that he just doesn't give a fuck. and I think he's very sincere when he says he just gets the money, tells the jokes and leaves.

Yeah, he doesn't give a fuck. I think he does give a fuck, and we're going to find out here because devilverse talk starts coming up in his set. Perfect. So a lot of people familiar with the devilverse in? Woo!

Haka! Fucking hell! Why? Why? Jesus! It's fucking crazy. You know, I struck Pinky today. we saw

stop I'm doing shit like that fuck you yeah fuck you yeah watch your mouth talk about

talk about his uca-buga wife he said it not me they said that talk about his oga-buga wife

oh stop that no I think it's much see maybe getting away with that us white people not so much I would never

dare people get upset about that so yeah he's out proud himself because he struck Kevin Brennan's channel that day he's like yeah I struck the channel people are like oh that's not cool man what he'd do it and he has to explain himself but anyway don't worry about he goes well he did my copyright

anyway no he did that's fair news I just do a Q&A no tell your jokes I do you're I mean fuck at this point. He's violating my copyright.

It's like, fuck off. This is fucking fascinating. Isn't this wild? Yeah. This is a pretty crazy event. He has to deal with it. It's not like he's by himself reading the chats. Can't block people.

Not reading all the words on them. This is amazing. If you would have tried to block people, all right, get out here. I need that person blocked. And that person blocked. Give that guy a beer. I hate to see what would happen if people kept going to all of his shows. I don't see.

who else would go to these shows. Well, exactly. I'm just saying it's going to get worse and worse and worse. These recordings are to get sadder. I know. The reams are going to get smaller. I know. It's not going to be great.

He gets very distracted. He's concerned that something like this is going to happen that we're going to record this and play it. Because he just opens with, oh, fuck off. Yeah. That would be a better opener for him. Just fucking. That's what I want to know. Dude, I know you taping the fucking thing.

No, it's on. Dude, check his phone. I guarantee it's on. It's on you for it. He's watching porn. Bullshit. At Samson. I don't need a fuck.

Gay porn. He's got two big guys. He's just watching gay porn. All right. How about we just do a Q&A? I mean, seriously. West, wasn't he the funny? Yeah, I want to know that, too.

All right. So, the Q and A begins here. And this is where things get very funny. because people know John's general knowledge. He brags about it all the time. What's the biggest planet? What's the biggest planet? Your mother.

In the solar system. I didn't hear you. Okay, so then John probably does get back into his act, and he's doing his celebrity kid names. Aren't they crazy? That he does? Great. Yeah.

Glad he was able to get back on track. for that. Yep. And it's a little bit dated, but Scorch wrote this for him. The problem is, Surrey? Can you believe her name is Surrey? The problem is people in the audience have heard it. You guys heard all this before having.

Relax. You love it. Oh, fuck. But that's why, like, you know, I love the day thinking about what the fuck is a Gwyneth? That he gets right back into it. What the fuck is a Gwitton? Where was I? It's almost like you should, like, write new jokes at some point,

an update his act or something. You know? Might be worth it for if he's going to continue to perform as a comedian. So then John threatens to quit podcasting. You know, I don't know I'm going to podcast too much anymore because, oh, come on. Yeah. Are you guys familiar what happened at Rodney's? Yeah. I was there.

Yeah, it's just like, you know, it's all people want to just hate on me. So you should have did this. You should have been doing. No, yeah. This is going great. can't get me one joke that you guys fucking

fucking finishing the punch on you fat fuck yeah this is going great right

this is what would have it's like it's like if I'm if I'm a couple of

a fucking talk if a little a little a lot go go so

yeah all so people see like they're on board with John just

chewing the shit with them what a fucking bum thing to say if I got a couple

beers I'll hang out with you guys for a while if not fuck off well remember John drove in from Long Island

and so people are concerned about him driving home because they want to go have beers with him afterwards but you don't want to have too many beers and you have to drive drunk and so these guys got to witness something that I will never see in my lifetime and I'm a little jealous of that

they got to see beer math I'm buying John two beers you can say three that's an early that's a darn one and it's been fucking hours now let me ask you you, man. And my beer

dissipates. And we go. Yeah, you're going. You're going. I've been here for an hour. Okay. And I've had two beers.

How many beers are in my system now? Six beers. What? You the fuck. That sounds like something an alcoholic would say. Tony's really inserting itself into the show. Yeah. Tony's really inserting himself into the show.

really wants to be the star. Yeah. I can see him yelling that at a bouncer, like, to give me this exact same speech. That amazing. He starts through the beer mat, people start applauding. Yeah. Yes. But this is what they want to see.

They want to see John's podcast. That's why I said it would have been great at Rodney's. If you were just sat down and just started making fun of Brennan and me and Anthony and just going around the room. That's his one-man show. That's the one-man show. But we have to follow, unfortunately, because we're the show. That's got a problem.

Good question for Manny here. What's another name for a firecracker? You tell me. What's your favorite? I only know about a firecracker. I heard different. He should really not know what that's a reference to. He played dumb pretty well right there.

Yeah, a little too well. A little too well. Yeah, real hard for him, guys. He didn't have to Daniel Day Lewis that. So John tells the story of this guy who came to the Rodney's gig, who then came to the gig the next night in New Jersey, and they hung out afterwards, and they had beers and stuff. And it turns out this guy, not a good guy.

We all give this guy, I'm a tiny story. And please, at the end, if you agree with me, we're going to go. So, here we are. I hang out with this print. Him and his wife, after Tommy Foxes. That's right. He goes, John, the big fan. You know, can I buy your beer?

For me and Chiano, go upstairs, and, you know, I have beer. Or two, I put, like, two of my jacket pockets. Right. Yes, he did. Yes. And, but either way, then, uh, this guy. Baby, sir.

Bye. All right, I'll say you're sorry, whatever. I tell this guy, you know, it was not hanging out and talking. It seems so nice. Good time. And I go, are you taping me? he goes, no, I'm not a fucking asshole. All right.

So we leave cordially. I, at least change numbers. And then I'm on my show when I get a different, like, point of view of my set, if you will, at Rodney's. And as the camera pans, there's Rick going deadbeat dad. Dead beat that. Dead beat that. That, dead beat, dead. Oscar Turner.

is it dead Chad just started that chant in the room. Yeah, he stepped out another fucking race. It's hilarious. But, I mean, he did stop paying child support for like eight or nine months. And this is the definition of a deadbeat dad, right? Yes. Yeah, okay.

We can all agree on it. It's an accurate statement. Yeah. For Judd, I love that story. I can't believe he's even saying the words. It's pretty wild that he said that. I was surprised. I thought he was just going to say like, God, he was chanting this horrible thing about me or something.

The guy was called me a deadbeat dead. Me! Yeah, of course. So more dabbler's talk. Oh, real. This is, I got, I got notices from multiple people who were at the show last night, and a lot of them were saying that it turned into a group therapy session. So, for John, at the end.

John, why do people stab me in the back all the time? Why do people, why are people stabbing you in the back? Because as Claydabler has said, it's easy to be my enemy that is to be my friend. Aren't you fighting with him right now? No. it's just easy to be my editing. John,

is there anybody who know worse at all that you'd be willing to work with? Me. Anybody. I don't have you heard the question. Is there anyone

the devil should be willing to work with? This is what John comes up with. I honestly probably going to be gone in a week. I'm going to... I'm going to be back. Say it ain't so, dude.

I'm going away This time might be definitely I might be I'm poor I think I'm going to I might be leaving

it a week or so and it might be forever something or not yeah it's a poor guy

he is poor he is poor and there's a reason why he's poor it's because people don't super chat him that's right that's true

that's right so why do I do a fucking two outstream and I make 50 bucks and pick you big fucking two doubt. It's got to do with the approach. Oh, fuck off. I'm serious, John. Okay. I'm trying to tell you that at Tommy Foxes.

Okay, Betty. Go! Oh! Come me what you want. I'm looking out for you. Yeah, bullshit. All right, I'm going to get out of here. Wait, wait, no, if you prepare and change, good job.

Demand your money. back if he doesn't do it. Fuck, yeah. So, yeah, I think I have a video of the squeegee bed here. Like this. All right. Yeah.

Oh, he got so happy. Did you see there? He gave the fistpup, like, I nailed it. And that's all he needs to have a good rest of the night. He loves those. We're all friends. And they said,

and they said this firm was great for being in He's playing tonight in the stomach of a 17. He's killing with the squeegee bet. Here I was saying that people only wanted to hear it because it's bad. I would have started a one more time chant. I would see if I could get him to do it again. H encore! All right.

So, that was a lot. Yeah. There was a lot to get through. But I had to listen to the whole thing because it was a wild ride. Are those guys still backstage? And I want to thank Manny, delivering the best lies in the night. What's up, Manny Monskis?

Yeah. I'm chilling. can you guys hear me racial slurs racial slurs got you buddy and uh the man and matata and then the man who talked more than john did for some reason Tony from hack the movies is here what's up Tony i feel like people were talking more than me i just feel like i got picked up on whoever's microphone that was

you were close to the phone that was recording that yeah there were more people talking all right that is true uh i should have to tell them to focus though i couldn't help myself like just go back to do in the act what was it like being in the room last night what was the overall vibe tony um well when you first get there it's kind of confusing because there's this giant civic theater and then you find out that it's actually not there they have an adjacent theater that's just the tiny room yeah so it's very confusing right away uh but the energy was really good a lot of people were excited for this show

like we were all pumped for it uh manny i feel like we all went into a positive right yeah Everyone was in a good mood. Tony was getting recognized left and right. I am very famous. So, yeah, that happened for all the time. That is Tony's favorite thing to get recognized. I wasn't expecting it, so it actually was actually really nice. I'm sure it was.

The guy who runs, like, the theater or whatever is of big fans, which is why I won't be saying anything bad about the theater. But anyway. Spart. Place looks great. Yeah. No, everyone seemed to be on board. the first who was the first comedian man he was some other

I named John yeah it was Johnny the guy who like the show or the guy who got paid for Ronnie's gay Johnny McCarthy yeah was he funny his act it started off like real cheesy and kind of safe comedy and then he

randomly goes and then I was raped by Martha Stewart and everyone was just like what the fuck was that it took a hard shift into like really hard rape jokes. So no one was expecting that. That's fun. And then Rich Karucci comes out and he dropped a bombshell on all of us.

Mani. What did he reveal to us last night? So he's the one who like organized the show and set it up. And he's super familiar with the dabble for us. So he set up the Rodney's gig and just didn't show up. Is Rich booking John? Is Rich the guy going around booking him? Yeah.

Yeah. So get the fuck out of it. All about the dabblevers. He booked Rodney's. He didn't tell Rodney's. He didn't give him a heads up on any of this. And then he decided not to go because he knew it was going to be a shit show. And it is, by the way, he all figured out pretty quick.

We were all dabblers. So he kind of was in and out of his act, kind of like John was, but he was engaging with us more. Did you regret not going to Rodney's, though? That was an awesome event. Oh, no. I did. Yeah, me and Manny really wanted to go. Then we found out he was in downtown a week later.

Rich was rich upset. He didn't go to Rodney's. Oh, no, no, no. I feel like he's glad he dodged that shit show. Apparently Roddy's was calling him like, being like, what the fuck is the dabble for? It was the hardest lambing got all night because I didn't know any of this. Like, so wait, you just like fucked up everyone's night and we're just sitting at

home relax. So this is an image I just pulled up of what the theater looks like. And so again, there's no beverages being sold here. which seems wild for a comedy club or for a comedy show. I guess it's not comedy club, obviously. They didn't even have like a drink cart. No. No.

You had to go across the street to the theater. The lady would pour you a drink and tell you that you're not allowed to take it across the street with a wing. Okay. One of those deals. And then if you try to get one joined the show, she'd be like, no, I'm serious. You have to drink it here. No shit.

So 20 people showed up to this. show. So I'm guessing it was like a third full, quarter full. Yeah. I think he said it holds like 80 or something. Yeah, it did not fill. But parking was fucked because they were playing Sweeney Todd across the street. So it took us forever to find parking. But yeah, that whole John show, everything you guys have been saying for like the last week, like if he just did his act in front of all those people, they would have cheered him on. They would have said squeegee. And for,

a week now he's been saying like they wouldn't have done that they wouldn't have done this but last night we were all engaged we were enjoying it ironically like when you go see the room with tommy wiso no one's sitting there being like oh that's a rich narrative like we're all like enjoying it ironically we're like laughing along with it we know the jokes are bad and it looked like he was actually having fun and then as soon as he saw that he was being recorded it all just crumbled oh that's the problem the internet the wife would be so great without i think stupid internet following him around everywhere slow down carl well the thing that gets me is even if he like didn't see that and he just did his act straight up it didn't seem like he had enough jokes to

fill the 40 minutes he was supposed to do that's why he does a q and a it's 100% why it's that terrible crowdwork so manny was there another black person in the room was it just you not that i saw but i am wine so he could have been like not smiling manny there were two black people behind There was a guy who seemed to be real smiling at the show. Well, the guy seemed to be real into it. His black girlfriend, she was stoneface the entire night. I don't think she knew what this was. I feel like she was dragged out to it.

But yeah, conveniently, the three black people in the theater were all right next to each other. That threw John off. He's not used to that. It made him uncomfortable. It seems like, uh-oh. And then he kept calling me gay. Like the whole night he kept calling me. me gay and you didn't have the one clip but at one point I tried to lean into it and he talked all over

me and I'm like ah fuck it up you didn't call you just do it did he no he did that's very hurtful straight up at the end of the night he's like what was your name I'm like tony I'm like thanks for calling me gay all he's like I'm just joking and he like wandered out now did he hang out at all because I was uh messaging with my brother about this a little bit and I guess my brother was invited back into the green room but I don't think he went I it was it seemed like it was a short discussion after the show I didn't really hang with everyone Yeah, he disappeared into the green room pretty quick. And it was like locked.

And then I think after everyone left, he came out again to middle. But everyone was, we were at the bar across the street by that point. Right. Yeah, he was like real nervous about like getting home. Actually, when he showed up, because he showed up super late. Right. I think when Johnny was doing his first, like the first act, his like, his like Apple Watch or whatever was just buzzing constantly.

And apparently that was John calling him, trying to find the theater. Oh, no. And then while he's doing the thing, John walks in talking really loud, not knowing that there's a whole show going on. He wanders in the green room. And then I guess he went to go across the street to get alcohol,

because that was the only place he can get it. And he forgot where the door was. So he wandered into the theater, almost went behind the curtain. And then he banged in the door. No one got that on. We were all talking afterwards. Like, that would have been the best thing to get on video.

My brother said that when he got there, he was like yelling in the green room. Like, you guys could hear him talking. He's just looking behind curtains. Nope, don't be a back there. So, wait. Grant had a personal invite to go to the green room and he declined. He thought it was a trap? I thought he went.

Maybe he did, then. I don't know if he said he went or not. He just said it was a short conversation. Oh, okay. I don't know. Yeah. It got sad. It really did get, like, I don't know.

I had to remind myself, like, he's a terrible person, and he's done this all to himself. But, like, for a moment, I'm like, oh, man, he just, he is in his own head right now. I thought he was going to cry at one point. Yeah. Because he's just like, why am I even doing this? It's a great question. It was fun. Like, there's excitement.

He comes out. And, you know, people are. Yeah, Uber. He drove over over. Yeah. People are excited about it. And then it just got really sad. He's like, I'm just going to leave the devilverse.

What's the use? This place isn't from me. And people are like, no. Oh, John, we love you. But then the Q&A part was actually not bad. I mean, I don't know if he's lying in all these stories, but it seemed like he had fun telling stories with us. And the audience was at, like,

was interested to hear what he had to say. It looked like he was having fun again. And then he got into his own head again. Yeah, you can see, you could see him sober up and then, like, get drunk again in real time. So he just goes through the whole emotional roller coaster. Yeah. So from what I heard,

it turned into like a therapy session where you guys are all like trying to talk him off the ledge there was a point I think it was jump jump jump why you were right there I think there was a point where my sister and I was like we love you John are people in the devil verse like you John is like

no that's not true like it was like this weird thing we had to like try to convince him that things aren't so bad did you get that sense yeah yeah we're all they're laughing and smiling and he's like, you guys all hate me. And it was like, you played the clip of him like,

if you guys love me out of my stream and only get $50 by Kevin Griffin. Speaking of which, I've got a question about that because I don't watch Kevin Brennan. Yeah. He's got a 10-day bad and he needs $50,000 to chocolate. Seems excessive, right? Seems like it's a bit much.

There's my brother in J-T just pop this in this course. There's my brother and Suttering John in the green room. So he did make it back there. Look at that. All smiles. I'm uncomfortable looking at that. Look at John's hair. Can you show the picture of him on stage again? I wanted to point something out. Yeah, of course, buddy. So

overall, you're glad you went. Was it worth it? Yeah. I mean, again, it got real sad at the middle. The squeegee bit actually brought things back. Like, he wasn't going to do it, and we begged him to do it. And originally, I was going to fuck the squeegee bit up, but real quick, okay, he found a butter churner. in the back room.

Oh, is that why there's a butter chur? Because he needed to put his beers out on something. And he, no, it was before he even had beer. He just brought it out, and we thought it was going to be part of the act, like prop comedy. And he never made a joke about it, but he kept calling it a cotton gin. Everyone in the theater,

everyone in the theater is like, that's a butter churn. It's a cotton gin. Do you know who made the cottage in? We're like, it's not a big cotton gin. No, it was Eli Willie. he didn't even make a joke about you sitting out of there something i feel like that's a no braider he's what he's going to call you gay he just brought it out because he thought it was funny but he didn't

incorporate it into the act at all except for when he got beer um but i i told your brother ahead of time if he asked me if i prepare for the squeegee act i was just going to do the whole punchline by the time it happened he goes do you prepare and i'm looking at him like this guy needs a win i can't do this so that i just played a lot because your brother came up to me he's like As soon as he asked you if you prepared, he was like, Tony, don't do it. Yeah, so I didn't play the clip on here. I just grabbed the video of my brother shot.

I mean, someone shot, but it was funny because because John goes to Tony, do you prepare? And so he goes, I guess, man. What do you get like Kleenex? And Tony goes, sure. I was literally, I was literally going to go like, yeah, he squeegee in and it gets into my, I'm just going to do the whole thing.

It was just so sad. I'm like, no. Yeah, I prepare. You're all hard. He started the. joke with. You guys really want to hear the squeegee joke. Like, $50

want to hear it? I wish you clip the one part. He tried to do, he's like, do you know that expression? And he meant to say, like, once you go black, you never go back. But he but he butchered it. He's like, once, black, never, and I'm just like, I've never heard it like that

before. He totally found the expression. Never been black myself. Oh, my gosh. So, How do you guys think it would have went at Rodney's? You've seen the video. You've seen what happened. Went down there if he had done something similar to this show in New York.

Again, people would have been overly cheering to be like sarcastic and ironic. But that was actually kind of fun. Again, it's like the room or seeing any bad movie or something. I feel like it would have went over really well. And even though a lot of people there didn't like him, it probably would have been a little bit of an ego boost for him. I agree. It sucks to be appreciated for something ironically. but it's better than nothing.

But Anthony was there. You don't get to choose why people show up to your show to appreciate you. I think he would have quit no matter what because he seemed like really into the small intimate crowd, but I think 200 people would have intimidated him, whether they loved him or hated him. Yeah, that is true. By the way, Grace Osteros coming to the Little

to show the room at the end of this month. Oh, we should go to that. We should. I've never seen it with him. I've seen it with Tommy, who's insane, but I've never seen it with him. I just want to see with Greg, because Greg's actually a real person who will answer questions. Yeah.

I assume he smells better than Tommy Wysot, who smells terrible. I did not know that. Oh, God, don't ever get too close. So, Tony, I'm assuming you were sitting front row, you and Mani? Yeah, yeah. We had to do front row, obviously. You were planning on inserting yourself into that show quite a bit ahead of time? Not real.

I only wanted to fumble the last part. I was just quiet. I was like laughing along. But yeah, as soon as he just, He railed his act. I had to just scream focused. Like, I'm just like, come on, man. Get back in there.

Get back in there. Mani, the, uh, asking John about a sister's pussy size was a plus, my friend. I get a gold star on your diploma for that one. By, by the way, I was next to Mandy door in the firecracker thing. John knew what manny was talking about. You can read it on his face. He's like, I don't know. I don't know.

What do you call? Yeah, I get producer Chris picked up by that better than, than I did. Mani, I asked my brother to ask you for some acid for me. I think he thought I was joking, but I wasn't. Did you bring acid for me? No, you have to ask me ahead of time. It's not the pandemic. I don't have it on me 24-7 anymore.

Okay. Good to know. Good to know for future times. We go see Southern and John together. Look forward to that. Guys, thank you so much for coming on the show. Did you guys have any other questions or thoughts on this? No.

One last question. Yeah. I've never seen John in person. Can you actually see the stink lines yesterday? No, but like seeing that finger in person is very unsettling. Seeing that in person. It looks like a war wound that finger. How tall do you think he is?

Tall than I expected? Yeah. Five, six, maybe. Whoa. That's hard than you expected. I get the same sense. wasn't blown away by his shortness, but he's very short.

Yeah. Was he wearing the magic Skechers? He is wearing the magic sketches. People have been pointing out, like, I posted a picture of it, and a lot of people are like, does he just wear the same outfit to every single show? And like, I guess so.

Oh, he probably didn't pack a lot. Yeah. Yeah, he is definitely wearing the magic sketches that boosts him up a nice incher. So this will get me laid. That stool, that stool was so flimsy, and he sat on it at one point. and I was just waiting for it to break.

It never did. But, like, there was a, there was a strong possibility. I think it was going to snap at some point. Well, honestly, when he went to sit on it, he could have just swung his legs like the Kevin Hartford. That would have crushed. Tony from Hack the Movies. Where can people find you, Tony?

Well, you can find me on Hack the Movies on YouTube or Patreon. You get the free tier. You get the public podcast feed. I had Manny on recently. We did the original Candyman movie. You know, one of the most famous black slasher's ever. And Manny revealed in the middle of the review that he got high and fell asleep for most of it. So I'm glad he waited until the middle of the review to tell me that.

But it's a great episode. And I had Vignon not too long ago. We did the new Frankenstein together. So yeah, we got a lot of great stuff over on Hack the Movies. Check it out. Doug from Good Times Great Movies was supposed to go with you guys. And then he bailed on this. I'm very disappointed.

Yeah, he had an emergency. see. I was texting him all during it. He's like, oh, man, I wish I made it. Mani, do you have anything going on? People should know about. Oh, yeah. I've got a podcast, Most Importantist. SEO search. So if you want to find it,

search Most Importantest and Just Most Importantist. Don't add podcast or any other words. Okay. Most importantist. I'll put a link for you in our show description. It's just that easy to find, everyone. Well, Tony, thank you so much for going and being part of the show and making it more entertaining and for coming on and talking about it.

And Manny, thanks for recording the show. I mean, thanks for being there. And also being hilarious to get it in the best punchline of the night. Of course. What I do. Love it. All right. See you guys.

Yeah. The great Mani and Tony from Hack the Movies. You can't say Tony's name without saying Tony from Hack the Movies. No. It's actually in his contract. There was a thing. Adam Curry talks about this. when he worked at MTV, it was contractually obligated.

You had to say, King of Pop, whenever you mentioned Michael Jackson. I believe that. He had to say, Michael Jackson, the King of Pop, molested a child today. That's the same thing with Tony from Hack the Movies. We're talking about him molesting children. Oh, though, that's true. My buddy, MLP, you've seen MLP on the show before. Love the guy.

He just messaged me this, just right before the show. started. He found Vinny's new favorite. I know. Ressler. Do you know this guy? Yeah. Oh, yeah. It's Sergio Linguini. Linguini Primo. Oh, that's right. Check out this guy's

finishing move. You just saw this? You just seen this guy? Yeah, I used to have doing it for like 10 years. I just saw it yesterday for the first time. Yeah. Check on this finishing. I offered to manage him. Why would that knock a guy down? It's just dough. Well, here's what I'm set up.

It's just raw dough. There's so many. things to be a set about here. I'm putting free. But can we please just start with the waste of good pizza? That's why I find it offensive. It's pre-cooked.

You can still shove that in the oven, right? It burns off all the. Not after it has gorilla sweat on it. Like that's the guy. He just threw it out. That would be great if it was hot on the oven. Holy shit. We do have fun here.

Vinnie Balino from the creepoff. The creepoff.com is where you can go to find all things of the creepoff. Of course, there's an audio podcast. You can listen to wherever you listen to podcasts. I'm on there. You are. Every week. Every Monday at 1 o'clock.

And we're also a video cast. And that's, if you want to see some gross stuff going on, that is Mondays at 1 on this channel and the Kreeboff channel. And we do bonus shows every Friday. This past Friday, we got to watch Vince McMahon driving into a car at 115 miles per hour. I was shocked when you actually see the accident. He was going very, very fast and a very, very expensive car. Yes. And he was very mad at himself, which was fun to watch.

He was just old man cussing at himself. I don't know what he was thinking. Stupid, stupid. He really was. He was calling himself names. He was like, you fool. I'm fire. That's some tough talk.

Yeah, he was really just old-timey man. Boy, is my face red. It actually was. It was pretty swollen from the airbags. And you know what? His assistant got there before another cop could. It was wild. Yeah.

That's a good assistant. Yep. That's how that works. A good assistant would have driven him. That's true. So anyway, we do bonus shows every Friday on the creepoff. So if you go to patreon.com slash the creepoff, it's where you vote for Carl. It's also where you can sign up to get the brand new cow bikini picks of our results girl, Danny.

Boner alert. Boner alert with Danny. All the bonus shows on Fridays. And watch the creep off. That's the point of the creep off. It's just to have a good time. If you could laugh at that stuff, you're all right by me. It is a good time, and it's for creeps.

So if you're not a creep, don't bother. We don't watch it. We don't need you. All right, let's figure out what's going on on the internet. She's always helping out because what else are we here for? It's the internet news. Filling in for the other broads, it's correspondent Matt Broad. From Patreon, Chris Atrill addresses Rodney game.

Classic stuttering John. We saw your quivering, terrified face and your hunched over body language. You were shitting bricks. You're not a legendary entertainer. You're a cowardly fraud. J.P.'s paying attention. PC's subtle Simpsons reference of, Here you go, Your Majesty.

Was perfect for Carl's warm beer anecdote. Austin has a heart. It's moments like that which almost make you petty the guy. He looks so small and sad on that stage. If only he wasn't such a villainous fuck on stream. D. Lux chimes in with a Carrie Bradshaw reference. I hate sex in the city, but Carl would make a great gay neighbor.

character. Just do it. So gay. D.D. has this to say about Boyd Tinsley's invention. I'm impressed Adam knows what a Cajon is. I grew up listening to that instrument. It was invented in the country where I was born, Peru. So it was my first thought when the guy was tapping on that shelving unit. Snuggs offers one box was pretty good, but his other hand could be playing a second one in harmonizing. Wasted potential. Over at Reddit, neither football claims to be new to the Dabobo and asks if anyone else feels like it's just bullying. Slimo Birdass suggests you could always choose not to listen, especially when you're on your period.

Ryan Robalkin gets helpful. If you feel it is bullying and you don't enjoy it, shall I lead you to the exit? Cockblock by Destiny responds. Most of those lull cows only have a following in the first place because people like to hate on them. I'd be happy to give up a day job if I could afford to live off people laughing at me. But first I'd have to be the kind of.

kind of self-important asshole that would warrant being roasted on a daily basis. And from YouTube, George Kazanjun quips, Opie's back hurt because he didn't have Ron to carry the show for the last two weeks. Mikey asks a valid question. What married man takes an ambulance to the hospital for back pain? His wife and kids are long gone. Hey, retod is excited. Wow, Gino, Kiki Butthole, and Ron the waiter,

all regulars at the same club? Sign me up. Tim Boggs makes a legendary comment. By his own admission here, Opie might have created the Babelverse. Derek J.F. answers the question of how Opie should be addressed. I think his wife calls him ex-husband. We're back to Rodney Gate Talk with Schittsacrobin.

I just don't get how the Duke of the Future didn't see all this coming. DZD93 is lacking. I need to get one of those tripads. And Gypsy Morning plays us out with a strong sentiment. As a blue-collar worker, I despise you, John. You never worked a day in your life. I didn't play any voicemails on Wednesday.

No. And we have to get caught up. So let's get caught up in the Gary from San Diego voicemail segment. It's a bunch of crap. Swing in a mid. Rock and rolla. I said something very controversial. I'm getting some shit for.

No, it's not oogabuga. It's something else that I said. Roddy's going to call me out here. Hey, Carl, Ronnie, and Syracuse. Love you, love the show. listening to the bonus emergency episode, I said bonus. And I had to stop listening. But, oh, I got to ask you, man, Danny Brand had it coming?

I don't endorse domestic violence, but Danny Brand had it coming. Please expand on that because I'm a little confused. And I don't know. I don't know what to think, man. Don't call me that. So Danny Brand was antagonizing Anthony to the point of forcing him to lay a hand on her. And she couldn't wait for that to happen. and she live streamed it from his living room immediately.

Press charges, followed through with it because that was what her goal was. And I'm not saying that it is the right thing. Of course he didn't. domestic violence is always a bad thing. But there are women out there. You know, similar to the C.J. Brown, whatever the guy's name is who went up to Anthony's face. He wants to get hit. He's doing that in order to try to piss someone off in order to get hit.

And then he's like, oh, look at me. I'm the victim. Some people will want to be the victim. And, again, you should never hit anyone. He should get the fuck away from that situation. Leave the room, whatever you have to do. But that's what Danny Brand's goal was. And hopefully she's a better, a better person.

No. Anyway, that was the point I was making. And maybe it's not the right situation. But what am I? I'm a podcaster. Don't listen to me. Carl D. Lux. Happy 10th to everybody up there.

The anniversary. Holy shit. Awesome show. I had to look back. Guess when I had been around. And I think it was when, at least from when Karen Fee has, got all pissy on Chipperson about six years ago. August 19th, I looked it up.

She was all fucking salty like Lemmy was this week. Or I was prior to that. And then I wanted to congratulate you quickly on the New York Post article. When you hit the front page like your boy, Deluxe did on a national news story and you give them. And Howard Stern the exclusive, then you're on my level, mophop. Thanks, Dlex. Appreciate it, buddy. Yep.

Ten years we've been going on this thing. Unbelievable. What's John freaking out about right now? Are you sniping? Yeah. John looks pissed. Oh, he's pissed. Oh, he's pissed.

Beer delivery late? Is it because he found out that we played the audio? Skull. Oh, his internet sucks. That's a bummer. All right. All right. Well, just leave it up there.

We'll do it half. Yeah, I mean, I'll get out a little bit. What? Yeah. What will the Duke say next? His poor mom, he's got to be such a shitty mood coming back from that gig. How'd you get go? That's how she talks.

How'd you get go, Johnny? Do the people love you again? Did you win him over, Johnny? Oh, Archie. Remember, Johnny, you're my special boy. Oh, to gigacola. There we go. We're back.

We're back. Sorry about that. Oh, my God. I thought she was in the room. I love how John keeps talking about stand-ups and how only people who are stand-ups can criticize him and his stand-up. You don't need to be a chef to know when somebody served you boiled shit. Sometimes it's just super obvious, and everyone can tell. I'd call me back.

Wait, Nick Tucker, is this true? Nick Tucker's reporting. John is saying it's our fault. His mom can't enjoy her 90th birthday. I'll send her a card right now. Oh, flowers delivered. Let's start a $50,000 go-fund me for John's mother's 90th birthday. I will have flowers delivered if that's what the case is.

John, go to Florida. Better mood improves. Yes. Things will be going way better for it. Hey, Carl. Reference to Duce by John talking about Pockees. about having the guy pressed charges saying Anthony can't run from it. Actually, yes, he can because it's a misdemeanor charge in New York City.

And it's a non-extraveditable charge. So literally, the guy can do nothing to fuck about it. Even if Anthony comes back to New York City, he gets charged and released. Like, they don't prosecute anybody there. So, yeah, not a win for the Duke, dickhead. Chris, give shoulders up. He tightly can't run away from that. Makes sense.

Hmm. Come on, can you faggot stuff debating about soft-shell tacos, hard-shell tacos, no, cooking, cold fucking cookies. Give the shit. Let's talk about some real things. Abella Danger or Tate McCray. What do you got, Carl? Your dick can even get hard.

So Abella Danger is a porn performer. And Tate McRae is a dancer and a singer who's dating Jack Hughes. Yeah, from the Devils. Yes. Olympic hero. The Olympic hero, Jack Hughes. Okay. A bell of danger is the answer.

Really? I don't think I've ever seen Tate McCray, but I saw her at the National Championship game. Mm-hmm. She looks like pretty good. She also fucks guys for a living. Yeah. Guys are bigger decks than me. I mean, she's good at it.

I mean, guys. I hate everyone so much. This show started with an insult. It's ending with an insult. That pay bump is never going to happen. Paco calling into the show. Hey, what's so, Lady Kay? This is Paco.

I just want to congratulate you on doing the 10 years. I think I started following back in 2018. It quickly became one of my favorite podcast, you know? Thanks. And, you know, I don't ever miss an episode anymore. There were times in my life where I had not listen to podcasts or whatever, but you know what? I'm back on it.

I'm back on that WAPTCC. your hoars. That's one that's your whored, nicket. Anyway, got out to Anna Bush, I guess. I don't know.

Fuck it. Thanks, Paco. Appreciate it. I like that you waited for your truck to start backing up to call. Yeah, that got tense. I was waiting for smash.

Shout out to Paco. Yeah. Good to see you. Do you guys remember Vic? Mm-hmm. She's still a person? I guess. Hey,

Carl, this is a dude who listens as a podcast, long-time listener, first-time caller. Do you guys really think, think Vic is ugly or are you guys just all being

like assholes too of her fun? Because I think she's pretty cute. But like she does sound like an 11 year old boy, whatever you guys said. That's all. Don't call me back. Bye. A Vic Simp in 2026? And sir, you sound like an 11 year old girl. I thought that was Vic

for a second. Yeah. Vick's cute. I don't know. That personality. Yeah, you guys never really got along. I love Vic. I'm just kidding. A bit of a butterface. Great tits on that girl. Really nice. That's Patreon.com slash where these bucks is. Carl, you ignorant slut.

If you want anal, you don't have to find a chick with daddy issues. You don't? You live in New York. There's plenty of bars where you can find some of those guys. They'll be happy to help you out. You should know this. You've been to several Dave Matthews band shows. Come on.

There's some boo fooling going on there. It's a boofooing. I'm a little more particular about my anal, sir. Not just any guy will do. Isn't that a Dave Matthews song, Bufreit number five, something stupid like that? It's pretty good.

It's a toe tapper, actually. Oh, cool. Hey, Carl, it's Mondays. Hey, Monday. So, like everyone else, I've been thinking about John's reaction to his debacle of a show. And I finally remembered what it reminds me of.

It reminds me exactly at the time when Cyrus got his ass kicked by his lead troll music biz Marty. If you haven't seen the video, go look it up. It's fucking home. hilarious. Syrac's lost.

He got his ass beat. And then he ran home, and the next day he said, actually it was a win because he showed up, just like John. And then, like, a couple days later, he said, actually, he won that fight because Marty didn't kill him. Where in the video, Silas is begging for mercy, just like John. Like, every single time I see John's stuff, I think he can't top himself as a fucking retarded lolcow, right?

And you prove me wrong. It's actually impressive in a way. Yeah. Yeah. But, dude, it's getting sad, but like in the funniest way possible.

Yes. All right. It's over 45 seconds, but I'll go fuck yourself. Thanks, Mondays. The parallels, I see them.

Syrax, I don't know. Who would want to beat that guy up? Actually, retarded. Seems going to mean. Stop me if I'm not the first person to do this,

but since I found you through the Drew and Mike, Drew Lane podcast, and you just eclipsed a 10th anniversary, I do have to say, happy anniversary, a whole. Okay. Thanks for the drop. We appreciate it. Calvertagra for calling in. Carl, Calvertagher.

So you were recording your urination in the bathroom. New P-Pod episode? We got P-Pond Revival. We got that coming back. That was the best podcast. Bring it back. That was a pretty good podcast. podcast, the P-Pod, myself, Kaya.

Anchor FM, everybody. Doug. Yes, anchor.com. I think we made 50 or 60 bucks off that show for not mistaken. Yeah, it was a hit amongst the pervert listeners. All right. This is the last, last one. So couldn't John have just opened that show and just said,

the simplest jokes, just Carly's poop. His wife had to wake him up from his nap. He fell asleep with the mandolin in his hand. Club foot at clock. I mean, wouldn't the crowd have just erupted, just on the simplest, but do it some moron.

Never mind. I know. He's too lazy to do that, unfortunately. I can't believe he can't update his act at all. That's insane that he's still talking about. Bill Cosby's a punchline. Dude, he still does the Kardashians bit.

The Kardashians he still talks about. Susanna's pregnancy. Yeah. Having a family. Five years ago. Rear view mirror, my friend. Rear view mirror. Five years ago, my kid was five.

Dan, cease and desist. Jesus Christ. I got to go. Bye. I got to go. I got to go. I got to go. I got to go.

Okay. Bye. Please clap. Gets me every time. All right, everybody. You know, this was a great podcast. It was very revealing. All right.

Ready to roll the credits? Yep. All right, guys. Bye. Until next time. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Okay, folks. Guess what? The episode's over. Bye. Boom. A plane has hit volley. Vinny Paulino because he's so fat. Boom.

Er. Arr. Okay, bye. Please don't tell anyone how I live.