Who Are These Podcasts? - Ep715 - T3xt Me Back Podcast with Lindy and Meagan

Episode Date: April 5, 2026

This week we’re checking out a podcast hosted by body positive feminist (read: fat) Lindy West. Lindy and her cohost giggle about things that can’t possibly be funny. They hate straight white men because obviously, those are the worst people ever! Duh! Tab Birt joins the show to discuss how terrible it is that a slight majority of baseball players lean right. The Golden Hour analyze their live show in Austin (poorly) and we find out Chris D’Elia and Brendan Schaub want nothing to do with Erik Griffin. Maddox dropped a new episode of Sol Ringers where he subtlety admits his friends are losers in high school. His cohost, Chad Kultgen, has a podcast that berates his parents for voting for Donald Trump. Stuttering John calls Keanu ugly and then mocks the court as if he isn’t the person who brought a frivolous lawsuit against Shuli and me. We watch an amazing trailer for StutJo starring in the Bachelor. Then we finish up with Internet News and your voicemails.  Support us, get bonus episodes, and watch live every Saturday and Wednesday: ⁠http://bit.ly/watp-patreon⁠ ⁠https://watp.supercast.tech/⁠ Come to Hackamania! April 10-12 in Las Vegas, use promo code WATP for 10% off – https://hackamania.com/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I told them in the strongest of words to just do it. You see, this is a we just do it kind of show. Where's my camera? Where's my camera? Stay away from my show. Episode 7.15. Are you a boner guy? Oh, I was a boner guy.

You know what? I missed penis. What are you talking about? I'm the one who should apologize. Is it going to be absolutely riveting? Is it going to change your life by any strong? probably not but it's going to be at least entertaining okay by the way for those people that are in the back remember to shut the fuck up maddie oh cazoo kazaroo

clapperoooolemy it's showtime w at p pwat pw hello over next and cussarroos welcome to another episode of worthy's podcast the only show in the dabble verse that makes alcoholism seem fun and worth a try. I'm your host girl. With me this week, a man you met through your mutual friend, Dax, from the Here's What I Don't Get podcast? It's Tab Bert.

What's up, Tab? Yo, not going to say any offensive things to white women this time. All the back. Yeah, we'll see about that. I'm a feeling you're going to say a lot of offensive things of white women. Producer Chris is with us as usual. Hello. Please go to Who Are These.com.

That's where you get our email address, voicembell, link to the subreddit, link to our Discord server, link to our merchandise link to our YouTube channel. and that link to Patreon and Supercast featuring two, two exclusive bonus episodes every single month and you can watch the shows and record them live

on Saturdays behind the paywall. You can also find our mailing address at Who Are These.com. Got some cool shit in the mail. I'll share with you a little later. Is there a jury duty summons? I did get that, but there's other stuff too that's cooler than that.

So we'll share that with you guys and appreciate you guys sending stuff in. Also, Hackamania, coming up this weekend, Friday through Sunday. Hackamania.com. get your streaming package and watch WTP live and all the other live shows that are happening there.

We encourage our listeners, give us five stars wherever you review podcasts and then shit all over us in the comment section. Today, we'll be reviewing Text Me Back podcast with Lindy and Megan. This was a suggestion from Matt Fish in our Discord review suggestions channel. We've all listened separately. We have not discussed it with each other beforehand. It's a show hosted by Lindy West and Megan Hatcher Mays. It has 1,190 subscribers.

on YouTube. And a recent episode, the most recent episode, is called Lindy and Megan are mad about something else. It has 463 views. Wow. I'm going to read the description of this channel, this YouTube channel. Lindy and Megan are two award-winning best friends from high school. They were voted most likely to make you laugh, no big deal.

Every week on Text Me Back, they digest what's going on in the news, their lives, and their text threads with a singular combination of political smarts, embarrassing sincerity and a truly concerning level of investment in pop culture. Lindy is a female woodsman who is in your go-to for dragon lore, shrew-catching tips, and unfiltered takes on whatever just happened on Love Island. Megan is a political advisor and Supreme Court savant who has a Pomeranian puppy named Kevin and distrusts both the moon and the deep sea. She's just one Mitch McConnell headline away from expiring allegedly.

If you love a comedy podcast about snakes, friendship, current events, reality TV, or just want to hear two women in comedy laugh their way through their flaming dumpster of a new cycle. Text feedback is your new favorite funny political podcast. That's what they're saying. The way these two women communicate enrages me.

And I'll give you an example right out of the gate here. It's only two. I need to get something off my chest. Something's been bothering me for six months. Something we talked about in the past that I've just realized or I have been realizing I wasn't being truthful. I lied.

Sort of. I'm going to talk about it. Unfortunately for the girls, it's about sports. But first, Lindy has a secret. Oh, wow. That is some captivating radio. Coming up after the break,

we're going to have. Bullshit you don't care about. They laugh at everything. I guess that's why they consider themselves comedians. Yeah. Well, when you're award-winning best friends. You get away with that. They gave each other the awards.

Right, Lindy, you're so funny. I made you this certificate in Microsoft Word. Yeah, but you're my only friend. I know, at best. That's how that works. We're both so intolerable no one else would want to ever be around us. Lindy West is, well, she's got a history on the internet. She has been writing for different online publications like Jezebel.

and she is one of these body positivity fat fuck feminists who goes around in fordose epic well no she can and she wouldn't want to because she likes being a fat fuck that's kind of her deal she thinks it's really cool and that you need to get over it and that this is just a man's world and all of us white cis gen heterosexual dudes are the problem and so we'll get into all of that that's a lot of fun it's a lot of fun when you have a comedy show and an agenda at the same time. That always works out really well. But Linda has a secret, as you just heard, teased,

and they have a little segment here. This is a segment we're calling Lindy's got a secret. Secret, secret. I got a secret. No, you know what? I'm going to call this a segment pubes. Hang on. Okay. I haven't heard her in so long. What a beauty. I know. We need to stay on the pub beat.

And always keep it funky. Yeah. They're fun. Yeah. We're so quirky and fun. I know and outrageous too. Segment Pubes. That happens a lot, by the way, in the show. They just hit the segment Pubes drop. I'm not sure what it means or why they do it.

I don't, yeah, okay. Didn't make any sense to the episode that I listened to. Okay. Lucky. Yeah. Yeah. I listened to that there was, they had this guy Ron on, and he talked about his one-man show, and it's just basically him going to therapy in front of a studio audience.

He's like, I'm exploring romance and how all of my relationships have failed and how I'm going to move forward with them. And like really unpacking that in front of an audience. and I was like, that sounds fucking awful. That sounds terrible. I'd rather hear a one-man show from Ron Berman talking about his mom might be dead. But I do have great news in that episode. I also found out that this weekend, or this coming weekend, not this weekend right now.

So you've got time. You've got time. I know everyone's wanting to go to Hackamania, but Lindy is going to be in Oklahoma City doing her one-woman show. And that's where I'm going to be next weekend. Fuck you, Carl. Hold on a second. How could she do a one-woman show? Break it up.

Break it up, you too. Tad, please tell me you're actually going to the show. I really want to know that you are. Fuck. I could, but I'm not going to. Better things to do. Andy Harris was supposed to be in fucking St. Louis this week, and then he canceled the fuck.

Oh, is he singing? Or is he doing comedy? He's singing this. Allegedly singing, yeah. I haven't heard him in a while. The second time he's done this to me. So he's going to see Lindy. It's probably like it.

Lindy has a problem. take on the show Heated Rivalry. This is a show I've never seen. I've never seen a clip of it. I don't know what it looks like. I don't know any of the actors or anything like that. But I hear about it everywhere I fucking go. All I need to know is Howard likes it. I don't want to see it. Howard Stern loved it.

It's, of course, the... That's because he's a closet of gay man. Well, yeah. And it's getting... He's creeped out of that closet pretty quickly these days. But yeah, so Heated rivalry is that show about gay hockey players. And I guess, from what I've heard from female friends of mine, it's more gay sex than hockey. and so it has a big following for that reason.

And apparently the gays are not happy about the success that the show is having with women. So, as we've seen, the heated rivalry fandom is being very scary. Yeah. And we're against it. However, I've also seen some gays be like women aren't allowed to like this. Oh. And you're fetishizing the gays. And it's the same as when men objectify women and you're being gross.

Let me stop you right to a gay person. It's not the same. And you're, but like you're dehumanizing us and you're just like using us for sexual pleasure. But we, that's all up for debate. Feel free. And if you're a gay man who feels objectified by heated rivalry and the way that women are being freaks, feel free to process that, whatever. Well, that's retarded. That's not true.

Gay guys don't give a fuck. Yeah. Gay guys are not concerned. Way over pretending to be interested in what's going on here. I know. Yeah. There's a lot of fakeness. Like, holy shit, calm down.

They're very fake on the show. the way that they communicate. And I've seen girls interact like this. It seems like they don't like each other. Like they just try to perform for each other or something. Yeah. So I am, no, I'm the quirky or chungus. Right.

So this is the thing. They're trying to create this narrative and they go on for a while about this. That gay guys are upset that straight white women are objectifying them and enjoying the show. Gay guys, do not give a shit. This is something that feminists care about. They're like, oh my gosh, you're objectifying women. There aren't other groups of people who are concerned about this sort of thing. But they're trying to say that women are going to hockey games and yelling at the players to kiss each other.

I swear to God, she thinks this is true. She's like, NHL players are complaining about this, that women are yelling for them to kiss each other. I guarantee it's the funniest thing she's ever said. I promise you that does not happen. I promise you that's not happening in hockey games. Like, God damn it, these women keep thinking I'm gay. I'm not gay. Fine, I'll get it over.

I was just at a bleak. this game and I saw a stable of white women just storm out after the end of the second period because there hadn't been any gay fucking on the ice. Right. Yeah. I saw about fights. And I was like, ma'am, what's what's going on? Why are you guys all leaving?

They're like, there's not enough gay sex in this game. And the gloves are on. Oh, yeah, the pants. Yes. Patrick Michael, fuck me or fight me. All right. Okay. Let's find out.

Let's go. All right. So let's find out the reason that heated rivalry even exists in the first place. I didn't realize this. Is it sexual harassment to go bother the hockey players and scream at them to kiss their brothers on the ice? Sure. And it probably does make them uncomfortable, which I think is part of the reason why the author wrote the book in the first place because she was tired of the hypermasculine homophobia in hockey. Sure.

She definitely solved the problem. No, I think the writer wrote heated rivalry because she was horny. Right. She's Canadian and hoarding would be my guess. The things, like, you're a hockey fan. You've gone to live hockey games. You've heard the shit that people scream at the players. Oh, yeah.

There is no way that the guys on the ice. I question whether or not they can hear you to begin with, but there's no way that they have, that, hey, where are you guys going to kiss is worse than the shit that I've heard fucking. I got to think two shifts off, coach. I'm sorry. I just, it's going to take me a minute to recover from that one. There's a guy from St. Louis who plays for,

one of the Canadian teams. And anytime he's in town, like the, the hazing is relentless. Yep. Yeah. I don't remember his name. When we have certain players who leave the team,

when they come back and play for the opposing team, it is nonstop throughout the game. And I never see them cry. They don't pout about it. It's amazing. It's like they're thick skin. Yeah. I'm saying I'm a faggot.

Come on, man. Come on. That has been said about Jack Eichol a few times in Buffalo in recent years. So I love that she's worried about hyper masculine hockey players. Like, yeah, yeah, they're professional athletes. It's kind of important part of it, actually, to be honest with you. But these, they, you know, they talk about these hockey players who feel objectified,

and this is Lindy's take on that. But boo, fucking who. I'm sorry. Oh, I'm sorry. Isn't that great? She's allowed to dismiss these people's feelings. Now, she's a feminist who gets trolled all the time by cis white males, and she'll talk about it later. It's very scary out there what's going on in the world.

But if these hockey players feel like they're being objectified, it's like, go fuck yourself, asshole. Yeah. And do you know why? Do you know why she feels that way? Because they're cis men. Are hyper-masculine, rich, famous straight white men, mostly getting lightly cat-collar. Yep, you nailed it, Tab. Wait, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,

cat calling is a big fucking issue as far as I was led to understand to the point where we ended it entirely as a practice for the species. Right. But now you telling players to kiss is just like, go fucking pound the ice. And also your fellow player

right in the ass, please, while we watch. They're rich and white. What part of this you don't understand? You know, Hitler felt the same way about the Jews. It's like, yeah, there's certain types of people. we don't care about their feelings. What part is you not understand? He wanted the Jews to kiss.

I get it. So it's some hot takes from these two on that one. So anyway, let's talk about being objectified as women. The reason why they're the victims and nobody else is. Lending has never been objectified in her fucking life. Oh, that's hilarious to say that. Check out.

Check what her friend Megan says right here. Try to think of what age you were when a man. commented on your titties and it's like it's like 11 whoa humble brag bagg in jesus christ because this bitch is was real popular in her middle school yeah she didn't give us any time to think about it she had some nice cans when she was 11 apparently good for her that's exciting um so what lindy's talking about this episode is an article she wrote back in the 2010s at some point and that's when she was writing a lot of click baity articles that were getting a lot of hostility towards her. And she was writing about these fraternities and how awful these fraternities are at universities.

And you guys can only imagine why they're so awful. There was like a fraternity in a college. There was a period where I got really mad about the Greek system. Sure. Or like the white Greek system. Like the white, if there's a majority white frat, that's just like, like consolidating power and passing it along to the next generation like it's like it's evil you know what I mean I don't know it's worse these guys deciding to join a frat or deciding to be white

because I mean this is so fucking evil of them to do this sort of thing we I'm gonna go on a limb and guess that you weren't in a frat I was not no yeah Chris might have been he's he's handsome frats are for attractive people usually like all the attractive people in your college were in the frats. That's that's why Lindy's upset. She was not invited to the frat parties. Oh, yeah. Because I'm guessing she was very fat in college. You're guessing that. I'm going out of the limb. The Duke of the past. It was fat in the past.

Well, what did this frat do that upset Lindy so much? Let's find out. They made like a pinup calendar of themselves. They made like a nudie calendar. Yeah. And I don't even know if they were fully nude. But I remember I wrote this thing that was like, not everyone wants to see your dick. Like, Tabb was disturbed by that.

He's like, looking down at something, then they start laughing. He's like, what was that? Why did that get a big hearty chuckle right there? Also, if you don't want to see their dicks,

don't buy the fucking calendar. Right. It would be a difficult. It turns out. these guys did this for like a charity. You know, it was like a way to raise money or something. Silly. It's like the hot,

the hot firefighter calendars. Right. Yeah, it's silly and nobody really wants it. But they're like, oh, it's fun, whatever.

You guys did this thing. But Lindy did not like that. So she had to write an article about it. And now she feels maybe she went a little too far, a little too hard in the paint from that article. But that still cracks her up. A little too hard at the buffet. Please, Carl.

Don't use sports analogies. All right. So, Lindy is having a very big feeling on this episode. And she's trying to keep it light. This is a comedy show. But sometimes she can't help herself. I don't want to get into this because we're keeping it light. But I'm really having a big feeling about how, as I said, I was tortured for many years by men on the Internet.

and they were from some specific social groups of men. You know, men who like became the president. Yeah. Well, it's like literally, you know, so I was like hounded and tortured by like men's rights guys, kind of pick up artisty guys. Gavin McInnis and his boys. Oh, cool people. Yeah, right. I'm picking up with you put some of those guys.

Yeah, right. That sounds pretty fun. this asshole was actively antagonizing men, you know, these clickbait titles, these articles. But then beyond that, she would troll the trolls back on Twitter. So she's constantly in the thread and going back at people. And here you have this fat feminist who hates men. And so they're like all coming at her. And, you know, she's just two people.

So it seems like there's a lot of people coming after you when you're just two people on the Internet. And so she quit Twitter in 2017. and now she's playing the victim. Oh, woe is me. They're all coming after me. It's like, no, that's what you're asking for. You were antagonizing. You were throwing shit over the wall.

And then now you're, and then you got pissed off that shit started coming back at you. Exactly. And obviously didn't learn anything about it because now she's like, boohoo, boo-hoo, you white straight, man. You're getting cat called. Well, okay, it's, it's funny than that. Let me tell you what's going on in her life right now.

She just wrote a book and she's getting some flack for it because she married a man who, by the way, pretty good shape. Not an obese man, a man who looks pretty healthy as a musician, and she married him. Well, he decided that, like, you know, I'd rather like fuck a hot chick. So then he started dating

this other chick after he married her. And then she had to come out and act like, polyamory was her idea. Because she's like, no, no, no, this polyamory thing's great. I love it. This is fun. And she drove from the northwest all the way down to, like, Florida.

to meet her husband's girlfriend. People do that. Yes. Right. Wow. And so she tried this whole thing to like get along in this poly relationship and to make it work. And then eventually it turns out it didn't work. And she wrote a book about how it did to work.

And so everyone was just like, yeah, yeah. You kind of went against everything you were saying. You're this feminist. And now all of a sudden you're letting your husband determine who you're just using her as a beanbag to fuck on. We call that a threesome. Her husband hits the ceiling. I'll see myself out. He was with her because she was,

obviously knows about good food. But, uh, yeah. Right, yeah. You just tell us where to go to get dinner. We're going to fuck afterwards. So anyway, she's talking about how like, you know, I used to be these guys,

these Gavin McGinnis's and whatnot. We're on the internet making fun of me. And now, look at what has happened. in 2026. That's literally the people. Like they figured out a way for the government to arm specifically those guys and send them out to do whatever they want.

I was like it's literally the guys that were like trolling. Yes. And doing lots of other bad things in like 2015. And at the time it was like, well, at least they're just, at least they're just, you know, fringe losers. Right. And some of us at the time we're saying, hey, we as a society should probably squash this. Maybe we should put some safeguards in place to limit these people.

Their influence. Yeah. Their influence and they're like normalization. And everyone said, no, thanks. It's fine. It's not that serious. Well, you know what? Maybe you should have left our fucking video games alone, you dumb fat bitch.

We all want to do is fucking sit on our couch and play video games. And you took that away from us. And now we're going to make you fucking pay. Yep, you ruined the video games. You made all the female characters of small boobs. We won't forget about that. You made the culture completely antagonistic against us. And what do you know, it energized men to start being like, hey, maybe we should fuck some shit up.

Well, and now here we are fucking shit up. She's saying, using the word literally, so I believe she means this literally, that the same guys who are antagonizing her and harassing her are now in the government and running the world. And I believe Keanu Thompson would call this main character syndrome. This is where it's like, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, these, these women can't be serious. They can't actually think that this is really happening. It's actually like really like, couldn't be more serious now and their their unchecked power is actually my personal worst nightmare in addition to being a global existential threat. Yeah. Okay. I know I think her worst nightmare is this Kit Kat bar heist. Like where how am I going to get my Kit Kat bars?

If you really do think this, though, this whole cabal is to come after you and to ruin your life and show like that. I can see why you'd have an unbearable personality. You know what I mean? Like, she's obviously mentally deranged. Yeah, which came first. Right, that turns her into an asshole. So

it kind of all makes sense when you think about it. Also, watching Megan's reactions, I don't think she really agrees with her. No, how could you? But Megan's the best friend who wants to play along and get an award. Megan's actually like in, plugged into the system. She like,

works in the D.C. in politics. Right. Like, she sees what's actually going on. She's not some fucking loser in the Northwest in like a weird attic room. That's true. However, Megan does have some interesting viewpoints when it comes to whose opinions matter. Since when do we care what millionaires think about stuff? Gives a shit. See, I would say, what do we care about what like poor people and losers think about

stop. That's the people I really don't give a shit about their opinion on things. I'm going to be paying for any of this? Right. I love this idea that like, why do we care about what millionaires think? Millionaires, I mean, it's pretty obtainable in the state of age. It's not with the inflation rate and everything. Like, you would hope to be a millionaire someday, Megan, if you're good at your job and, you know, can excel. Same thing with Wendy over here. Does that mean we stop caring about your opinion once you hit that mark? I don't understand this threshold. How do you hit this threshold? Bad news, everybody. Our net words both hit $2 million this year, which makes us millionaire.

So we're retiring the podcast, but who possibly give a shit about what a millionaire has to think. Am I right? Do they have to change that? Do they have to change their opinion when they come a millionaire? Maybe that's one of this. Maybe they could call it to that secret meeting. And they're like, hey, we hacked your bank account and saw what you got in there. So here's the deal.

There's the script. Yeah. Feminism, you don't give a funk about it anymore, all right? Yeah. Should be in the kitchen, actually, is where you belong. So then they do this thing. They want to see, they do some research of the major sports leagues in the U.S., which have the most Republicans in them.

Now, they immediately say the women's leagues are the best ones. That's where the most liberal athletes, I know, right? Go figure. But I was actually taken aback when I heard the stat on major league baseball. Of the players in the MLB, 53% are Republicans. Yikes, which is why nobody ask Cal Raleigh a single follow-up question. I don't want to know. None of you want to know.

Is that the butt guy? That's the dumper. Don't ask him. Don't ask him. I'm not. Are they objectifying this man by referring to him as the butt guy? Yes. Immediately, immediately they objectify this professional athlete.

on the Seattle Maritors. 53% Republican is a yikes. Like it's within a margin of error. Dude, the funniest thing about this is that I think most of the leads Hispanic at this point. They're mostly from Central and South America, basically baseball players. And they're like, holy shit, can you believe there's Republicans in this league? Yeah, they all make $10 million plus a year.

They kind of want to keep their money. I can see that. I can see they want to lower taxes. kind of make sense. But yeah, 53% was a yikes. Like, holy shit, well, I'll never watch a baseball game again. Well, guess who comes in second as far as sports leagues go? That's right.

All those hyper-masculine hockey players. NHL, very close second at something like 47%. It's like a bunch of Republican guys. All of a sudden, I'm supposed to care about how Republicans feel. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 53% Republican was a yikes, but 53% Democrat is still not. not good enough? Like, what the fuck?

No, definitely not. I also love that these people think they're the good guys or the open-minded good guys. Oh, I don't care about what a fucking Republican thing. Never mind. What is this? It has never occurred to me at any sports game. You know, the guy going up to bat, like, what do you think he voted for Obama? Boo!

Businessman! Boo! He voted for him twice. Fuck you! Get up the field! Why don't you have sex with the coach? The coach also voted for Obama, right? Yeah, yeah.

Fuck the coach too. So let's find out what guys have done to prevent women from talking. This is diabolical. I didn't even know that we were up to this. This is amazing. Oh, you missed the meeting? It's like when everyone got really mad about vocal fry. And I was like, damn, you all figured out a way to tell women to shut up

By inventing a new word? Oh, there was a word that was invented. I said, I didn't realize it was a speech pattern that was annoying. It's like in history, when you go back and read like ancient Greek, the way that they describe the ocean, they usually describe it as like the color of wine because then you look into the history of language and like there wasn't a word for blue. Yeah. And so the question is, did the color exist prior to the invention of the word blue? Well, vocal fry didn't exist until we invented the word to retroactively describe it. Women weren't annoying before that.

We created a word and then decided to be annoyed by it because we're all evil. And we want to shut down their speech, obviously. Oh, definitely. Especially Lindy West, who explains she just cannot win. Y'all don't like it when women are loud either. So, like you don't like it when I talk like this. But you don't. But you don't like it.

We don't like this either. You don't like this either. Wow. All the ways that you're annoying are annoying. Go figure. You could just talk like a normal person. Megan even goes on to say, you know, some guys have vocal fry too. We make fun of them more.

When a guy has vocal fry? I was, what the fuck is wrong with this? We're ruthless. Right. Vocal fry is annoying. It has nothing to do with. Well, I have something to do with the which hole it's coming out of. But still, that's not the point.

they do this thing tab in the episode you watched did you see them go to break yes they went to like a five minute break and they put up a big pink deal with their phone number text us what the fuck was this it's just this it's an edited podcast it's just music yeah it's not live it's this it's it's music that's looping the whole time and you just see the screen up here that says call or text the bff party phone and i'm not encouraging people to do this but it's 703 829 700-03. What's that number again? 703 829-0-0-0-0-3. Karen Feldman sent you. Yeah, give him Karen Feldman's number. Yeah, I was listening to it, and they're like, we're going to take a break.

And I, you know, you could tell that it was pre-recorded. And then they cut to this fucking thing. And it was up for a couple minutes. Like you would, if, like, if we were live streaming, it's like, we got to pay. You know, you might put up like a filler slide while people run away. I couldn't believe what the fuck was going on. And I haven't seen that in a while. I see that a lot on podcasts,

especially the YouTube versions, because they're hoping to fill ad time in the future. So they're recording it like a radio show where it's just like, okay, we'll have this spot in here ready to plug in the advertising. But there's no advertising to plug in out there. So it doesn't make any sense. And you can totally cut it out when you don't have any advertisers and just have that

part play. Are they waiting for calls to come in? No. Because it's not live. So, yeah, I don't know what the point of that is. Yeah. But anyway, that is Lindy West. If you don't know her story, it's an interesting one.

She is super annoying and hypocritical. And so someone in the chat described her as Bruce Valanche had shaved his beard. And I read it in the middle of you talking and almost laughed out loud. Pretty good. That's well done. With the red glasses, it was like, oh, yeah, that is Bruce Valanche. It's absolutely Bruce Valanche. Bruce Walsh, let himself go.

All right. Well, thank you very much to Matt Fish for suggesting we look into Lindy West, the Text Me Back podcast with Lindy and Megan. You know, this past Wednesday, we covered the fighter and the kid. They were live in Austin. Oh, yeah. And wow, what a debacle. They just came with nothing. Eric Griffin had that hilarious story about the guy fixing his TV in his hotel room and he took a photo of him.

And they riffed on like his shoes. That was good. And then Eric Griffin had that really funny story about, like, getting upgraded to first class and his flight to Austin. Yeah. That was really good. Sure. But with against another Eric Griffin, that was, that was really where I was like, whoa. I know.

Mind blown. Well, of course you got to talk about that. It was really good stuff. You know what's funny is Dick does that at the live shows. Like he just takes photos of random shit the day before. And then he's like, hey, we're in Boston. Check out like our Airbnb in Boston. And he makes it wildly entertaining.

Yeah. And then these guys do it. And you're like, wow, this sucks. Yeah. He actually makes it work because he prepares it ahead of time. Like he puts together seven or eight, nine photos and then tells embarrassing stories about me that my mom told him the night before. You know, I let her off too easy on that one. I got to remind myself next time I see her.

Anyway. So, yeah, so these guys come up here with very little plan and they just are going to riff. And so they go back to the studio. Of course, Brennan Shab is still in Austin, but they're back in L.A. at their studio. And they reminisce about the live show and talk about what went well and what went great. So this is from unique entertainment. I grabbed this for us. Wow.

Let me actually go. Eric brings very good topics in. The best. Yeah, he's the best. Yeah. Well, I just think of things. If we could just plug you in a fighter. and the kid, that'd be great.

So right there, you saw Brendan Schaub take a shot of Brian Callan. You bring good topics on. Yeah, it'd be cool if someone did that on Fighter and the Kid. I'm not getting any of that over there. And that actually works out very well considering that cringe of the week we played this past Wednesday. Good Adam Grabber, but they're both just like, uh-huh. Yeah, I have nothing to talk about. Thank God Brendan said something because Eric was about to explain his process.

I know. Did you see that? He's just like, well, guys. I mean, it's not easy, but what I do is observe and report. I suck. Yes. Yeah.

I was texting with Patrick Melton. I hope I'm not blowing up a spot. Well, I'm not going to say anything bad. But he was watching our clip talking about fighting the kid. And he's like, well, I feel way better about hackamedia now. I think we're going to do okay. And I was making fun of Eric Griffin. And Patrick's like, dude, I used to hang out with Eric Griffin.

He's like the nicest guy in the world. Oh, man he is. And that's what I said, too. I'm like, I'm sure he's very nice. Sure. He's also very annoying and untalented. Yeah. So there's that.

You can be nice. You just don't have to go be on the fucking internet. Yeah. You don't have to be on stage. You don't have to be next to Christalia. It is a weird dynamic with these three because, you know, really, Chris Delea is the biggest name by far. Brennan Scha's a joke.

He's not, no one's coming out to see Brennan Scha live. Eric Griff is just a nothing. Oh, yeah, I've seen that guy. Workaholics, right? Yeah, yeah. And then Christelia actually had a career. and has a pretty big fan base and still does, performs comedy and theaters and stuff.

So that whole show was just like, oh, Chris is doing a second thing while we go see Chris on Friday? Cool. All right, we'll go to that too. And he's just reluctantly dragging these guys along with him. He was barely on the same stage. He was trying to get off. He was actively trying to sneak off the stage.

But yeah, he's like, oh, Eric, you bring a lot of great topics. He's really good. Ah, ha, ha, ha. Oh, by the way. What? By the way, both of y'all, let's talk about the live for a second. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, so. The live Golden Hour. The lot. Okay, so what you don't know for it is. Hey, before, hey, before you go on, favorite part was, uh, that dude, Austin going, you guys are just going to freestyle up there? I'm worried for you guys. I went, oh, buddy.

Wait, who said this? I feel like Chin was fucking saying this. And I go, Chin, you've, no, you didn't say that. Austin said that. That's interesting. So Chin the producer and whoever Austin is, maybe he's another producer or maybe just a guy. Or the entire city. The city of Austin is just like, oh, you guys just going to riff? Do not do that. Have something of a game plan, something ready to go. And I love that Brendan Shob's so pomp as he's just like, buddy, we fucking crushed it.

Okay. How can you think that after the fact? After the fact, like, no. Well, because the guy with the funny voice said he enjoyed it. So there you go. That's a real insight into. how Shab thinks. Yes.

That's why he is who he is. He doesn't recognize the fact that he could have been better. They could have prepared more and done better. We were so funny, they were stunned. There was no sound in the theater. Someone on YouTube was pointing out that Brendan at the live show was doing that thing that like Dave Chappelle does now. He was like tapping the microphone onto his chest while he's laughing.

Like, Add more noise and excitement to it. Well, louder equals more funny. Right. And better. Yeah. Austin awake. The guy who,

Oh, that, yes. Austin's cool, yeah. He's like, man, I'm waiting for you guys. You know who shouldn't have been free stuff up there? No. Chin and little brown. No, no, they were good. No, they were good.

Just too. I know. Oh, yeah. So they do this thing where they transpose in between the guys, even though he's in Austin. It looks very awkward. and unnecessary. They just put them in the corner, right?

Yeah, like a little screen. Yeah, if you want to have all three guys on the screen. Like, right now all three of us are on the screen. You know, look how easy that is. No, no, no. Here's here. So, two issues I have, Golden Hour fans, just so you know this. One issue, if you watched a Patreon, you'll know.

Chris got shitty, okay? About what? No, you were supposed to, we were supposed to go to dinner. Oh, right, right, right. And then you just disappeared. and I literally got shitty. Yeah, you got shitty. And I'm on my phone.

I'm like, what the hell? You know, I say, are you napping? You know? And then, of course, later you were like, just woke up. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow. This is what I'm talking about.

There's no wonder they don't have to prepare, you know. This is what I'm talking about right here where Eric Griffith is just like, so we're all together for the first time in a long time out in Austin. We're there to see our buddy Brendan. And I thought we were going to go get dinner and you just ghosted me. Because like, oh, yeah, yeah. I know. He doesn't get a fuck about Eric Griffin.

That's on the Patreon. Okay. But you know who never hit us up? Oh, yeah. You know who never even was like, hey, guys. Yeah. Probably not going to make it. Yeah.

You know, Rogan's taking us to, you know, some secret, you know, we're going to hunt people. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they do jujitsu. Hunt people. Now I have. And I have. You know who never hit us up. I'm going to let him go.

I'm going. So. So no one wants to hang out with Eric is what I'm getting. Right. And Eric is like, why is everyone else an asshole? It's like, well, no, they don't like you. So Brendan, they went to Austin. I'll hang out.

And Brennan's like, yeah, I'll be there for the show. And then I got to duck out. And Chris is like, I'm going to take a nap in my hotel room. Cool. I want to put that. That'd be a funny AI thing just to see Eric at a big table waiting for all his friends to show up. He's just eating the bread. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, they're coming.

They're coming. Sir, we're going to have to move you. There are other large parties here. They're bringing their friends. He's going to text me back any second, I swear. Yeah, I'll order for him, actually. Chin walks in and sees it just him and goes, oh, never mind. It's around the leaves.

I want to say something, though. No, no, yeah, not that. I understand. Like, this is like the nanny thing. This is a joint effort, okay? Because you should have known. that he was not going to do that because he had a fucking full day. Listen, I realized it.

Yes. I realized it. When I was texting with you, I realized that I was like, he's with Rogan. And Joey, and he's not coming to dinner with us. But you should have just not even, yeah. When the fact that he's like, what are we going to dinner? I'm like, you know, you're just asking a lot, dude. He's pushing.

Wow. So not only did Brennan's son have baseball games. Yeah, it would attend. But he also was hanging out with his cooler friend Joe Rogan. It's like, oh, you're in town? Oh, it's too bad because I actually got a text from Joe Rogan for once. So I'm going to hang out with him. I wish I'd know when you were coming to town.

He didn't get a text from Joe Rogan. There was no text from Joe Rogan. It was like, yeah, no, I'm hanging out with Joe Rogan. Yeah, Joey Diaz. Who else? It sounds plausible. You know, you're just asking a lot, dude. He's pushing for it.

Yeah, yeah, there you go, Chris. He's asking a lot. No, Chris is right on this. It's a lot. You could have just said, come on, guys. You could have said something. He was walking down. He's not even returning text messages.

Me of these guys are even returning text messages to Eric Griffin. This is hilarious. Eric's trying to laugh it up, but he's so hurt right now. They gave that tiny little chair that he stuck to. The arms of the chair We're pushing up against the guys On the stairs In fucking booty shorts

And a bikini top saying like Let's bring the kids in the pool This is what he was doing It was a joint effort Yep You know what But also dad's in town And Tiger had two full games

Take any two full games No I didn't take full games This was like an inning and a half It wasn't one of those types of games Not a four-inning softball match Right This is a double header Oh, look at poor Eric

He's so defensive right there He's like I know But just like you're at a baseball game You can text me back You know Nope Nope I'm screamed at the Empire

It doesn't work that way No I don't get service At the baseball games Right yeah There's like a dome I get it No I didn't take it into account Then because

You know what I took into account? I was excited Because we haven't been to together in a while. I know. I know. And then the line. Oh.

Oh. Chris dismissively goes, I know. I know. You're excited. Eric's a lonely guy, I think. Wow. Yeah. I would stop hanging out with these guys.

Like, oh, it's, they already has stopped hanging out with them. Not by his choice. Yeah. Fuck you guys. I'm going home.

This is brutal. Last reality. Alive went so well. Oh, we got to back this out. They're all screaming over each other, but Eric says something very funny right there. The live went so well. These guys are all delusional. Together in a while.

I know, I know. And then the live went so well. I also didn't want to fuck up the vibes. Oh, we got his pussy wet, dude. Yeah. The live went so well. I was like, oh, that's funny. Chris is just like, oh, we got you all worked up.

Like, we were going to go all the way, didn't we? Eric's ready to book another one. Oh, for sure. Yeah. He's very excited about this. You know, if Eric would just act black, he would feel obligated to hang out with them, you know? Do you have any black friends?

No. What about Eric? Oh, yeah. Okay, yeah. I guess I guess I have the one black friend. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm talking about black. Like basketball, you know, freestyle rap.

No, okay, I got you. Well, I was like, oh, we got to keep hanging out. Oh, man. I know. Traded us like work. He thought he got the stripper's number, bro. Yeah, he treated us like work. It is work.

This is a job. This is the job. And a business. But how funny is that? Brennan treated this like work. Yeah, yeah. He was busy doing his things he does in his personal life. And Chris Lee actually had a funny lie there.

Oh, you thought you got the stripper's number. He thought he was taking the stripper home after the great time of the strip club. It's like, no, no. Oh, she likes me. It's over. And of course. I know. Brandon treated us like work.

He thought he got the strippers number, bro. Yeah, he treated us like work. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. The strippers. Remember? But it was dope hanging out at the fucking in the green room. We had a good time, though, right? In the green room?

When we were forced to be with each other, that was awesome. That's 25 minutes that I couldn't go outside and I couldn't be on stage. It was tolerable being in your presence. So brutal. Good time. But Chris had to work. That's all I need, though. We had a great time.

Yes. Eric just wants to keep the party. Yes. Yep. Just appreciate what we had. By the way, that would have been fun. Friends like this, man.

No, no, that would have been fun. I would have loved it. Would you have? Me too. Yeah, but also I loved what happened.

And I'm really great for what things are. Oh, come, you didn't come home with me after the party last night. You didn't want to hook up or something? I mean, that would have been great. It would have been awesome. We would have gotten together. and hooked up.

I had both of it had a lot of fun. But, you know, also... I love the way it went. Yeah, going straight home was also pretty great, too, you know? That's hilarious. Chris has a history of letting teenage girls down. He knows how to talk to Eric Griffith. Oh.

Not you. Chris O'Leon. Gotcha. And Eric just isn't happy. Once more. Eric wants more. He's just, we can't please it. These two.

I'm carrying the couch by myself now. These two are just... Brendan's on his phone and Chris is doing Arnold and Portonation. I still want to get back to that. Yeah, me too. The dome in the driveway. Okay, so this goes out for the next four minutes. Cristelia does this horrible Arnold impression.

So I'm getting the impression that when they were hanging out in the green room, their little special time together, the quality time together. Brendan's just on his phone the whole time. And Chris Celia is just riffing. This case seems insufferable to hang out with. He's my. and breathe inside I'll fuck him so uh that is

that's the worst Arnold guy ever ever It's not even close No When you have to say this is my Arnold depression Like you shouldn't have to say that Right Look at me I am Arnold Bob Bob Bob what

Come on you know That's how you do it No gravel Right Anyway Anyway then they go on for a while I'm just like Danny DeVito We are twins

That's a reference to a movie I believe that's actual dialogue from the movie. We're twins. And we just like this guy. See? That's how the movie opens. This is wild?

Fun. All right. So that was sad. I felt bad for Eric Griffin, but not really. Yeah, I know. He's kind of a loser. So it makes sense. It all makes sense.

When Westchap first took flight in 1996, the vibes were a bit different. People thought denim on denim was peak fashion. Inline skates were everywhere. and two out of three women rocked, the Rachel. While those things stayed in the 90s, one thing that hasn't is that fuzzy feeling you get when WestJet welcomes you on board.

Here's to WestJetting since 96. Travel back in time with us and actually travel with us at westjet.com slash 30 years. Okay, when I sell my business, I want the best tax and investment advice. I want to help my kids, and I want to give back to the community.

Ooh, then it's the vacation of a lifetime. I wonder if my heart. out of office has a forever setter. An IG Private Wealth Advisor creates the clarity you need with plans that harmonize your business, your family, and your dreams. Get financial advice that puts you at the center. Find your advisor at IGPrivatewealth.com. Oh, boy.

You know, we debuted on this show, was it last week or the week before this Soul Ringers? Maddox has a brand new podcast. And I should look to see if I know I have a Maddox. uh jingle but i don't know where it is it's been so long since we've played maddox stuff on here he's been away from podcasting well he's back very exciting because maddox is back with his buddy chad and uh they are talking about magic the gathering on soul ringers it has 633 subs the most recent episode our secret lair is worth it has 1,017 views and i know you were looking into this tab one of your good yeah one of your good pals a guy who's

sued you for $20 million was $380 million. Well, you specifically was $20 million. I was named in a lot of those causes of action, including being created by Dick and Astorios. No shit. Yeah. I'm glad you won that one, man. Wow.

Me too. It's a rough one. So this episode is about these secret layers. It's like every couple weeks, Wizards of the Coast or whoever fucking puts on the magic of the gathering. They released like a seven card. thing. There's only a limited number. You got to go log in Monday morning and you can buy them. And they do a whole episode bitching and moaning about them because they don't fucking understand

that the reason why these are popular in sell is because they have a limited availability. So I've got a click on no getting it. I don't get it either. I can only assume that it's literally again to like cater to this the small niche of the audience that wants to have that feeling of seeing an empty card after they waited for three hours. Like I don't know what else. it could be. They could be selling probably 10x the amount of secret layers they actually sell if they just made more of them so that we could all get them. No, that's exactly the opposite of the reason why these work.

They sell because there's a limited number and you have this FOMO. Right. The joy is not your cart being empty. The joy is you getting the thing. You got in line on the Monday morning. You got the thing. And then you're like, yes, I won. I got the thing.

you then losing the card is not what anyone enjoys in the process. And you're doing free advertising for them with this podcast. It's supply and demand. It's scarcity. Apple did a great job with this with the iPhones early on. Disney used to do a great job with this with their release of their movies. And it's like, you got to go buy it now or you can't get it. If they had this stupid secret layers, which, by the way, they both seem to hate.

If they had these cards available all the time, they would never buy them. Yeah, Chad. No, Chad isn't obsessed with them. At one point he's talking about, he's like, I haven't bought one for three months. Oh, no, that's not true. I bought one two weeks ago. Yeah, he's addicted to it. He's addicted to it.

And so, Maddox is, like, missing out on all of it. The Maddox chat group, he talks about, he's like monitors this chat room to see what's going on. And then he reveals the type of people that are in the chat room. Yeah, which is hilarious because on the first episode, we reviewed of them, Max was talking about all these cool people he made. at the game shop that he goes to to play Magic the Gathering. And he's like, oh, I never would have met Susie. I never would have met Bob.

And you're like, how old is Susie? How old is Bob? What are we talking about here? I'm trying to buy these secret layers. And then every now and then, there will be a new secret layer that everyone's hyped about. I have this chat group that I monitor that I rarely participate, but I'm always watching when they're griping about. And it's always secret layer.

They're like, hey, guys, the new secret layer is about to launch. I'm, you know, a 25th, 100th in line or something like that. And I hope I get it. And I skipped school today to get this thing. Sure. That could mean college. But it sounds like I'm skipping high school to go by magic cards. Either way, this man is my age.

And he's chatting along with these teenagers in early 20-somethings about getting in line, virtual line for this. And yeah, he's he's just for a guy who's also, I want to point out that the format of this is incredibly awkward. They're both wearing black t-shirts and they're both, they're sitting shoulder to shoulder staring into a single camera. And so they have to like kind of like awkwardly kind of turn to look at one another when they're taught when the other one's talking. But it looks like it feels like you're on a date with two dudes that are just the biggest fucking losers you ever met. sat down in the booth opposite them. And they're just like, hey, can we tell you about our magic card collection? Like, no, check, please.

I'd rather go hang out with Eric Griffin. Right. I see Eric Griffin had a big table over there. He looks lonely. We're going to do that. Oh, since you're talking about their appearance, I wanted to point something out. Maddox's facial hair. I'm going to get a little Dick Masters on this one.

I realize I'm being a little judgy scrutinizing over this. But is this a choice or is this just how his facial hair grows in? Let me get to zoom in on him. here. Okay. So he does this weird thing with his beard. Yeah. It does the right. Yeah. Like, it's kind of like a Hitler stash where he like shaves

down here past his nose, but then leaves a little bit connected to his goate. But then the goatee doesn't connect to the beard over here. So it's like he wants a goatee, but he also wants the full beard thing. And he's like shaved a bit of his chin, but he still has a sole patch. Yeah. And then he's

he's drugged the cheeks all the way down. There's a lot of maintenance going on with his facial hair. Okay, that's what I'm wondering. Is this all maintenance? Because I don't have the world's great his facial hair. I'm the last one to be judging,

but it seems like he's doing this on purpose. I think he is. Okay. He has such little hair. He's doing what he can with what he's got. I mean, there's just a lot going on there. I'm just picturing him with like, he's just going to get that little piece

and he's got to come over here and then there's a little thing right and there he's got to get. I also, like, they must have like the coolest cool white light on him because Maddox looks. sickly. It looks like, he looks like a Victorian child that's like suffering from the vapors and it's like in a cancer ward. Like go the fuck outside and get some son, you bald cuck. Old candy car. All right. I'll get, I'll get off. And I just, that was bothering me with

everything with a close up. The man's like, what is going on with this man's face? He's confused about everything. He sure is. So they, the, it's also, it's also astounding. Like, for a guy that who had like an online web store and knows about stuff, He doesn't understand, like, how sales windows work. So in my clip lining up, they're talking about waiting in a virtual queue, which we've all done, you know, to buy concert tickets or something. They cannot sell to everyone sitting on the Ticketmaster website, you know, the tickets for Hackamania right at 8 a.m. on Monday when they go on sale. They have to somehow prioritize who is there. Right.

Because otherwise they'll sell 100,000 tickets to an event that only has 20,000 seats. Exactly. And he does not fucking understand this. Line up and lining up virtually seems obnoxious. Like, why is that a thing? Why? I don't. I can't I just like, this is, we're in a digital age. I have the money.

You have the product. I hand it to you. You sent it to me. End of transaction. Why do I have to wait? It seems to me like they're trying to build a literal culture of FOMO around the secret layer. So it's like you've got to get there. And now you've got to be chained to your phone or your computer for three hours.

while this non-existent line starts moving and you get to the end of it and oh shit there's nothing in your cart and oh my god i missed out on it again yes that's the thing that's it's it's it's there's a limited quantity and only so many people can get it may it's like yeah but why is it unlimited and i could get it too it's like because that's that what it is like i've done this before so when lego released uh uh the enterprise last year on on on Black Friday, I was on my phone at midnight and I like got put in a queue and it processed through whenever it did and I got my enterprise. Please tell you got it. Yes. Oh, thank God. I was like yeah. I mean, I was excited. It was fun.

You would text me. Obviously they're going to be there. Like that's what they're, that's what they're selling. Like the little paper cards are fucking worth us. It's the dopamine hit you get for a getting in and getting one. Yep. Like I, I don't understand how they're grown men and can't figure out that that's the marketing strategy. The funniest part is, because at some point, Mattis goes, these people who work in this company are actually really intelligent. There's like mathematicians and, you know, all these different people's credentials. And then they go, and their stock market has never been higher.

The value of the company's never been higher. They seem to be doing very well. But why will they just sell me the thing that I want and stop making it limited quantities? Like, that seems like they got to figure it out better than you do, idiot. What do you mean? It's almost like they've run out of things to talk about. about already. Oh, no.

And that they do understand how this works. Yeah, you're right. That might be it. So Manix has been a big computer guy for forever. And he's talking about this digital line. And he's like, and did you hear about this? People are hacking the web. They're hacking the site.

That's the dumbest fucking thing I've ever heard. Yeah, listen to this. And what's worse is people are hacking the secret layer website. Do you? Are you not aware with? Oh, my gosh, dude. Yeah. So people are hacking the website.

and jumping at queue because it's all just JavaScript on the back end so you can just write some hooks in there to, wow. Yeah, I mean, you're like, you kind of trailed off there, apparently. He has no fucking idea what he's talking about.

Just JavaScript, you can raise some hooks to, uh, what, it puts you in a line based on your IP address from where you're, you're coming in from. And it's like,

this IP address got here at 701. This one got here at 702. And it prioritizes that way. Yep. You cannot fucking hack the line with the JavaScript, you fucking moron. It's on different timestamps and things like that. But people are finding a way to game the system so that they can jump ahead. And that's how scalpers were picking up so many of these way ahead of everyone else.

And then flipping them for a handy profit on eBay, which. Okay. So this gets very funny right here. Yes. Because so Maddox, if he wants to buy one of these things, he can't be bothered to get up and get in line for it. So he has to go buy it in the secondary market on E. eBay. And so he's going to explain why it's really dumb that these scalpers are buying up these cards and selling them on eBay. They're really dumb idiots for doing that.

By the way, guys, get a fucking job. Like, it's the worst. Hold on. Wait, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. You're doing a podcast about magic cards. Get a fucking job. Does Maddox have a job? No, he hasn't had a job since he worked for the telemarketing company, as far as I know, but I think he works at KFC now. Okay, well, good for him. what a crazy thing for Maddox to say. Way to make money.

If you're selling the shit on eBay, I recently started selling some shit on eBay. I love that too. Don't sell shit on eBay. Get a job. I've been selling shit on eBay. That's my job. First of all, eBay takes 30%.

So if you're not making at least 30% above what you paid, you're not making any money. These people are flipping these things for an an extra 100 bucks, but they're not getting that extra hundred bucks. They're getting like maybe $60. This man was a math major. They got an extra $100.

They take 30%. How many dollars do they get? 60. Should have used a round number. Oh, wait, he did. That was actually very easy math. Also, also, so I buy a card pack for $200. I sell it for $300.

I make $70. I make $70. Yes. Right. That's a profit. I've now made money. Well, hold on a second, though. I looked this up because I'm like, whoa, eBay's taking 30%.

That's outrageous. I know that everyone bitches about YouTube taking 30% of superchats and memberships. So I feel like people would be bitching about that. The collectibles category on eBay takes 13.6% on the total sale up to $7,500, $2.35% of any portion above $7,500. So on a purchase, a. purchase it's between 50 and $200, the actual rate is 14.5%. Well, that's not bad.

It's not 30%. $85 on this deal. That's even, it's, yeah, there's a per, the per order fee is 30. So yeah, so that's not what he's saying at all. It's a very big difference, 14% compared to 30%. But he's like, I saw it on eBay, I know all about this shit. Wow. You don't.

Once again, full of shit. shit. Well, and then the story that he tells about wanting to buy it, and I swear he says a car. Yes. Oh, yes. I have this car flipping. I know. You got, this is the fucking craziest most made up story I have ever heard. It's so made up. Now, first off, another thing that we know about Maddox is that he rides a bicycle. He doesn't drive a car. Yeah. And I had to rewind and go, do you say card? Did he say card? Listen, I think he says car. Let's say about eBay shit. I did this a long time ago with a car. There was a car that came out. I really, wanted this car and

everyone is snatching them up and they would they um some of there was like flipping them on craigslist were like you know four or five grand above email this and message this guy I'm like hey dude just let people buy this stuff they want and he goes want of you fight me I'm like okay meet me

I told them to meet me downtown I found like classic Maddox fight me what the fuck is he talking about if you want to buy a new car you go into a dealership and you're like and they're like here are all the options they will fucking, they will make you a brand new car. Yes.

You can just order from the manufacturer if you want. Yeah, this is said by someone, maybe he's buying a used car. Like there was a popular used car. But in that case, like, that's what they fucking sell for, my man. You can't. It was also, why would it escalate, whatever this conversation was over email between a buyer and a seller? Why would it escalate to fucking fight me?

And it's like, yeah, all right. I'll see it. Skid Row and sundown. None of this happened. None of this happened. No. He doesn't understand how car buying works. Yeah.

And he said car three times. Right. Yeah. Car? He's like, yeah. And then they want to put $4,000, $5,000 on top of that. You're like, yeah, do you want to buy it or not? Right.

Yeah, I mean, it's called free market. Those are your options. This is such a made-up story to make some look, terrible. For the record, don't fight anybody for secret layers. Don't fight anybody for any reason. Just for the record. We're not condoning this.

No, no. But I did tell him to meet me downtown Los Angeles, like on there's near Skid Row. And, of course, I didn't show up. Sure. Yeah. Sure. Yeah. I did tell him to meet me at a specific place in downtown Los Angeles, and then I never

showed up. Cool. Yeah. This story makes you look like a coward and a retard. Yes. Later on, I went looking for his corpse. I didn't see it. Yeah.

I went looking for his corpse, but it was too far away for me to ride on my bicycle. What fucking weird story that is. Anyway, all right. Something new is coming up. Yeah. Chad's excited about this. He's got a theory on it, and Maddox is not too sure about that. Well, I mean, we should talk about what you think reality fracture is going to be then.

Do you have some thoughts? All I know about reality fractures, they said this. They didn't think it was, quote, physically possible to do what they're going to do in this set. Oh, I hadn't heard that. I've got great news. I think we're going to have like origami. These new cards are going to let you talk to girls. It's not possible.

There's nowhere that's possible. They thought it wouldn't be possible, but they found some way that it's going to make you able to talk to girls. And when you say girls, you mean 15? 14 years old Look, you get what you get, your magic player Exactly To do what they're gonna do in this set Oh, I hadn't heard that

Yeah, I think we're gonna have like Origami cards and shit What? He goes, they didn't think they could physically do this Origami? That's existed for a long time. I'm almost positive What this is

Is like some, you know, holographic Or foil or some like new Painting Scheme on the cards Is probably what they're talking about. Yeah. Right. Some dumb gimmick. Some fucking unfolding cards. But they debate this because Chad just like, yeah, wouldn't that be cool if it like,

you could fold it up and do this? And Madge is like, well, it's got to lay flat though. You have to be able to lay flat in order to play the game. Okay, whatever, man. What would be more realistic is that it needs to fit in a sleeve? Because most magic players keep their cards in sleeves. I did love Maddox's a little autistic fit about that. Like, no, it'd be too thick in the pack of cards.

Then I'd know it's just sticking out too much. It's very funny. The syrup has to be on the table before the pancakes come. So the question is, Maddox, you want to get the secret layers. It comes out once a week, Monday mornings. Will you get your own? Yeah, I do. And if anyone's watching, can you guys, like, throw me a bone when the next one's going to happen?

I never know. It's every Monday, dude. It's every Monday at night. It's a secret any much. Literally, you wake up every Monday at 9 a.m. hours 8.55. Get on your computer. I would say more often or not, you're going to get a secret layer coming out that zero chance.

Plus, everyone's writing their stupid AI agents to do this now. Now we're just going to be competing with a bunch of AI agents to get it. Plus, I got school. When he says you have to wake up at 9 a.m. on Monday, which seems like a pretty reasonable time to wake up. Maddox's immediate facial reaction is just like, oh, no, man. That's definitely not going to happen. Never fucking happening. and I think Maddox is working his way through the stuttering John daily routine, working his way up to it.

Yeah. I definitely think that's what he was doing when he was banana doxing it. Oh, we know that for a fact. He was chugging his Coors lights. Dude, the comments on this video were also hilarious. The top comment of someone like, Maddox, you should have, I can't believe you've never had a podcast, man. You should have a podcast. That's hilarious.

I didn't tell which ones were serious and which ones were. Yeah, bring back the banana. banana. This is great. Keep on going. Oh, boy. All right. Well, we appreciate the fact that Max has made a comeback. He's no longer working on that eight-part documentary series about a guy who's stalking him who's way more successful in show business than he is. That's good. So I have some friends who were into Magic of the Gathering and we were hanging out this week and they were talking about magic. And then you sent me this, the Soul Ringer stuff. Like, let's watch this. And I said, So I said it to them. And my friend John said, who's the less famous fag with the more famous fag? And I said, that's Maddox. He used to be on the internet.

Yeah. And then he said, no, I know who Maddox is. And then my friend Tim goes, oh, that guy has a podcast with his parents and he's fucking insufferable. Yeah. So you found out there's another show called Necessary Conversations. This guy Chad hosts. Yes, with his parents. So his parents are, I live in Oklahoma and are.

big Trump supporters. Yeah. And he just berates them for an hour at a time. And it has the most recent, the biggest episode, I think, had like 200,000 views. Yeah, this one has 140,000 that you pulled clips from. Yeah, there's a lot of people with Trump derangement syndrome who are finding this and loving it. Yeah, they love it. And so I watched a couple of different things from this.

And I chose this one to pull clips from because I love his dad. his dad is absolutely tired of his kids their kids shit yeah but there was one there was a live stream where his mom was on for like 10 minutes and it was the it was just them reading comments of people being like you're a dumb bitch you should kill yourself like just like fucking laying into this old woman because she voted for Trump and then so she's like makes it like five or 10 minutes and then she's like okay uh these are too mean i'm logging off and i'm like dude that's your fucking mom yeah good job you're just bullying your mom on the internet internet for money. She deserves it. She voted for Trump. Come on. What part does you not

understanding, Tab? It's fucking crazy. Anyway, play the opening, because I love this pre-recorded opening. In the aftermath of the 2024 election, America is even more divided than before. Half the country fears the end of democracy and the other half welcomes it. As America inches toward the brink of authoritarian rule, now more than never, we must force ourselves to have the necessary conversation. Welcome to the necessary conversation. I'm Chad Colchin with me or my parents, my dad back from his big medical appointment,

which did go well. It went well. We're not talking about it online. Go on. I already did. And my sister, Haley Pope, the commie lefty, covered in tattoos,

who makes her anti-ice bakery goods. Wow, what a fun show. Yeah. The kids are wildly liberal and the parents are very conservative. And they just fucking bully them. I love the intro because it tells you exactly what this is. Like, I also love it's like, like Democrats don't realize that like nobody's looking for the end of democracy.

They're like, you know, there's two camps here. People who like democracy and those people who just want there to be a dictatorship. Like, well, hold on a second. that's certainly not sure. You know that, right? Yeah, that's what's really funny about the video is the dad gets more and more kind of exasperated in it. And he's obviously just saying stuff to troll his kids. They'll be like, at one point he's like, yeah, I hope Trump does become King of America. Fuck it. We're not having any more democracy. And the kids are like, the kids are so mad. And he has this like smug, look down his nose look at the

entire fucking show. And I was, I was eating it up. I was laughing my ass off every time the dad chimed in. All right. But the, so because, like, they're being ganged up on the parents, the mom shows up. This is, this episode's from about a month ago, and they're talking about the Olympic results. And so she's got, like, notes down below the screen so that she can, like, snap back and be informed while her kids just ambush her with whatever. Right. And she actually did her research on this one, which is hilarious because it doesn't look like Chad has anything to say to it.

Old metal. Do you know about her dad? Yes, her dad is a China, Chinese man. I don't want to say China man, Chinese, and he fled China. I don't know the correct word. Why are you laughing at me? Both the kids are just like, God damn, she's so racist. She's so racist.

Jesus Christ. Thank God we turned out good, right, sis? Yeah. I like the dad, too. He's pretty funny. Yeah, he's fun. Yes, he's an immigrant from China. Right.

who has given America a gold medal winner in the Olympics. Under Trump, that guy would be deported. No, that man came to the United States the correct way, started as a bus boy in Berkeley, California. From there, went on to get degrees in law and became a citizen. And she did not. She then after Beijing, China had an eye on her and wanted to buy her out. and she said no you know they can throw money at you as athletes and say now perform for our team

and she said no and the dad said no we didn't come to the united states to do that so she's she looked into the biographies of these people to shut those fucking kids down it's and and they're both they're both totally stone faced having been completely squashed well because they're in their own little bubble and so they're like he doesn't want any immigrants coming into this country's like no no no one has a problem with immigrants coming in legally That was the funny thing about watching the whole episode was that they're like, it mag is a cult and you guys just believe everything that Trump's done. And then they'll ask the parents questions.

They'll be like, no, I don't agree with this one. No, I think this was bad. Yeah. And they have not, they're, they're just like, okay, moving on. Well, this next little package shows you just how stupid these two people are Chad and Haley. I remember this was making the rounds. No agenda covered this, the podcast I listened to. and there was a C-SPAN caller called in.

It sounded like Donald Trump was on the phone. Yeah. Oh, and so, so Chad, I cut off him setting it up. So Chad, James Barron, I think is the name. John Barron. John Barron. He claims that Trump used to call into radio shows like in the 70s and pretend not to be Trump and leave, you know, messages on Howard Stern or something,

pretending not to be Trump. And so now he's doing it again because the Supreme Court ruled against his tariffs. Right. So this is John Barron calling in. And remember, the premises, the reason why Chad setting this up and playing it for his parents is just like, can you believe that Trump is calling in, disguising his voice so that we don't even know that it's Trump calling in? Well, this is John Barron. And you have, look, this is the worst decision you've ever have in your life practically. It's not true. And Jack's going to agree with me, right? But this is a terrible decision. And you have Hakeem Jeffries, who he's a dope. And you have Chuck Schumer who can't cook a cheeseburger. Of course these people are happy. Of course these people are happy.

All right. So you hear it right there. It's like it's a guy doing a Trump impression. Yeah. That's why you talk like that. That's why you would say things like that. The dad immediately, that's not Trump. But the sister, if you watch it back, roll it back a little bit when she smiles and shakes her head.

She knows it's not Trump. And you have Hakeem Jeffries, who he's a dope. having your life practically. And Jack's going to agree with me. Yeah, I don't know if she means like, oh, dad, you don't get it. Because, well, I'll show you what's going to come up here because then they're going to be like, so what do you guys think about that? Trump's calling it in the C-SPAN pretending to somebody else.

What do you have to say for your president now? This is a very funny back and forth. So that was John Barron calling into C-SPAN yesterday to complain about the Supreme Court ruling that overturned all of Trump's tariffs, which we're going to discuss. Do you think that was Donald Trump, mom? No. I have, I have no idea. It didn't quite sound like him.

He's trying to disguise his voice. It kind of sounded. He can't keep getting away with it. He's trying to disguise his voice. He was doing everything to sound like Trump. He's the president of the fucking United States. He walks into a room and, and can talk to all of the news networks at the same time.

Why the fuck would he call C-SPAN? It's obviously someone joking. People care more about John Barron's opinion and they care about Donald Trump's opinion. That's why you want to get John Barry's opinion out there. And network of everyone watches. C-SPAN. It's not like Trump is so eloquent and soft-spoken that he's like calling in to, you know, finally get some zingers in.

He says that shit all the fucking time walks out in the Rose Garden. And it's like, yeah, Chuck Schumer's a retard. You know? Right. What's this fuck? Why would you even for a second believe that this is actually Trump? Yeah, so watch those. Like some of yours.

Okay. Haley, do you think it was him? Yeah. I do too. Of course. Okay, moving on. Moving on. I believe this now. Hey, would you think that was up? Yeah, I want to, so I do. Yeah, I want to do. Yeah, I want you too, so I also do.

Okay, cool. You guys are smart. And we're done talking about it. Well, this is actually funny. They ask the parents this. It's interesting to me that you don't think it was him. Who do you think it was? No. Alec Baldwin. Yes. Who do I think it was?

I mean, they're stupid, aren't they? Yeah. Literally anyone else. Yes. That's who it was, you idiots. Good argument. Every week they get a question. You can send them in a question.

And so they get a question from France and it's this French person just kind of fucking rambling on and on and on about not really, it's one of those questions that's not a question. It's a statement. The statement being that America is a fascist country now and I hate them. And then the parents react to the question. Okay. And the dad,

the dad is pretty funny. Mom. I don't think it's fascist And I want it to be the way it was before Hang on, hang on So you think she's lying? Well, yeah Not lying, that's her opinion

That's just her opinion She lives in fucking France for God's sake Right, but she's giving you the French perspective Of how America is now Her French perspective Okay I want to She doesn't speak for the whole fucking country

Trust me I want it Yeah I'm dumb as jazz just like Well there's proof that we're a fascist country. Some lady in France called it and said that. So she represents the rest of the world.

All of France and the rest of the world. And then there was comments on the video that was like, I'm a Sweden here. And I also think America is a fascist country. Like, good. We don't fucking care, man. Bob is ashamed of his son. Yes. Go play with your fucking magic cards.

So the show consists of basically they bring in a bunch of news stories about how Trump is bad. And then the parents react to it. It's just like segment after segment of that. And it gets pretty heated. So they have a way to calm the thing down. They have a question of, what's your favorite smell? And they all go around and share their favorite smells. And I bet you guys can't guess Chad's favorite smell.

Well, let's watch the question here. Honestly. This week, our simmer down is a simple question for each of us. What is your favorite smell? Vagina. Yeah. So they all go through. the sister has like, you know,

candles and stuff. The dad likes steak just trawling the shit out of his kids and the smell of his wife, which is actually kind of sweet. Yeah. And then Chad answers. No, let's see what Chad's answer is. To mention it. The correct answer is

fresh, magic the gathering cards. Saw that one coming? Producer Chris? I had my money on it. When you were little... The parents need to host a podcast where they have an intervention. with him on these fucking magic cards. It's like, why did you buy that?

You hate that set. You were making fun of it. I saw you on your show with Madditz. You were making fun of it. You bought three of them? Why? He holds up like 30 of these secret layers during the Maddoch show. It's crazy.

The guy has a major addiction. Yes. Remember in the other episode we were watching where he goes, yeah, they're putting out all of these, I forget the term for it, but it's all beyond. Worlds beyond. And he's like, I mean, now there's five different. beyond just this year alone people have to choose which ones to buy i mean i won't i definitely will buy all of them yeah he's worried about the other people right yeah those four people have to choose

between amazing spider man and star trek i worry about them uh star trek all day right i'm gonna be on i'm gonna be on the uh the thing for the star trick cards immediately you better not i'm not not you better get on their show so oh man wouldn't that be great maddx and i finally set aside our differences because i finally get into magic and then we team up and we defeat dick I'm here for it. Redemption mark. Which side of my on? I think I might be Team Tab on this one.

Hell yeah. Let's go. Depends on whether or not Dick will do another live show again. Maybe we can get Sean the audio engineer on our team too. Pull him out of retirement. Anyway, I've just got, I've got one last clip here. The dad is, it's, I want to, I, so at one point they talk about that they'll have any guest on that the parents want.

Okay. And because they're talking about how the young people don't, don't believe the same way these guys do and I want to get a hold of the parents and be like I want to be on this show yes I want to come troll the shit out of your kids with you Bob are you considering yourself a young person is that what I just heard I'm I'm younger than his parents right yeah I'm younger than Chad too I see Chad's Maddox you probably are uh I'm young enough to be Chris's kid that's probably true that was that was a big reveal a couple of weeks ago I was like what yeah I went out on a loom Anyway, so this is this last clip that dad gets distracted.

Happen. He's like posturing and I hope, I just don't want it to happen. If it does, will that change your opinion of him? No, he's our president. We have people there. We have the military there. We have to support whatever happens. But I hope he doesn't.

Yeah. Dad's put on his Trump cowboy Hage to him. We're going to make America great again. we're going to destroy Iran. Okay. You see, it's funny because it's a, it's a hat and it's bigger than you think it would be. Norm McDowd. And then he wears that hat for the rest of the episode.

And he's just sitting in his leaving room with a giant foam cowboy, Make America Great Again hat. And his kids are furious. It's hilarious. I do have to say all these people suck. Yeah. Democrats or Republicans are sports teams now. It's like, well, that's the team I've been rude.

for all along so let's bomb iran let's go what's wrong with you people but that is funny all right well good good find on that i didn't know anything about this uh chad colchin now we see max is teaming up with and bonding with actually yeah they're their best friends man that's hilarious jody b in the discord says let's get chat on with caleb hammer yes that'd be amazing that would be great oh we should check in on cala let's even up to lately i haven't watched it a little bit Speaking of people who we would love to know their finances. So we predicted on this show, now that John has broken his wrist and has the cast on there and his left hand is useless. He has done bathing.

He is done doing laundry. And I think there's some validity to that. I was doing some research about this because I had an uncle that killed himself with alcoholism in a very, very parallel manner to the way. way that John is. And so I was looking up whether alcoholism causes people to stop bathing. And part of it is, yes, that does happen. People get, like, all they think about is their next drink. And so they stop eating and they stop bathing themselves aside from, like, extremely necessary

stuff. So my uncle would go to Dollar General and buy bologna and eggs, and that was what he ate. And John is going to the 7-Eleven and getting, you know, a slice of pizza and a case of beer. And pizza and ice cream. Yeah. Yeah. But what I found was this thing called a bludophobia, which is a fear of bathing that can also lead to alcoholism. And talking about how in the past, he's famously not bathing.

Right. It's an anxiety disorder that gives you intense dread or fear, anxiety, the closer to the situation approaches to needing to bathe. Panic attacks while bathing. And knowing that it's irrational then causes you to drink. Frank. Some of the things that, some of the symptoms that you show are unexplainable sweating. Okay. Difficulty breathing. Yep. Rapid heartbeat and palpitations and anxiety about it affecting the, in children, you'll get crying, tantrums and clinging. Okay. What about adults? Tantrums and clinging?

I mean, I don't want to like get him off the hook here, but I think John might have a plutophobia and also alcoholism. It's part of his OCD. Yeah, suck my dick, Dr. Steve. Now, 10 years ago, he was using everyone's shower. Right. Well, 25 years ago, but yes, he was, he was like going into people's showers that didn't want him there when he was hanging with Howard and Robin and the in-laws. So, on Thursday night's show, John comes on and he starts going after Keanu, you know. Keanu, I don't know if she said something new about him or something to piss him off.

But he wants to let Keanu know that she's not that hot. Now, if you guys remember, he was telling Keanu who hot she was pretty frequently. Yeah. Didn't he talk about jerking off to her? Yep. And she won the Duky for Most Beautiful Woman in the Dabalverse. Or maybe it was most jerk off a bowl, too. I'm not sure what the award was specifically.

It was a dual award, yeah. Right. But now he feels very differently about Keanu. Now listen, Kianu, you dumb fucking lunatic. Now, when it comes to beautiful women, you're a five. You're average. You are average. You're a two by four with nipples.

Okay? You're average. Okay. Sorry. I got distracted by the disclaimer at the bottom about domestic violence and racism and anti-Semitism and shit that's just scrolling. What the fuck is that? Oh, it's to stick it to Pocky and everyone who went to the Rodney's gig who laughed at Pocky's criminal record. Holy shit.

I should say. I'll show them. So, okay, here's what I'm confused by. John goes, as far as beautiful girls go. Yeah, I was hung up on that too. So is she a 10? But then when you just take all the tens, she's a five out of the tens? Because that's pretty fucking good, right?

Or is she a five? Also when it comes to ugly girls. She's still a five. That's what I'm confused by. What does that mean? Too many words. He doesn't know what he's saying. I didn't think it through.

He's like, I haven't called her hot for so long. I better tell her that she's, she is hot, but average hot. Two by four and dimples. Of all the people above sixes, you're a five. Right. But all the people that are. Yeah. Like what?

That doesn't math, John. We got to figure this out here, but. Are you saying she's an eight? Like, what's going on here? Well, okay, so he explains, you know, she had an OnlyFans account, and he explains that that's not where the Hot Girls go. He knows where the Hot Girls go. You could only do shit like OnlyFans.

That's why the real beautiful girls will be in Playboy, you know, Penthouse. Sports Illustrated. What year is this? What year? Yeah. She's talking about. Pet House. Sports Illustrated.

The real hot girls are on Instagram, thirst trapping guys. They don't even have to show any titty. Right. This idea that Sports Illustrated, Ava has a better chance of getting it a sports illustrated swimsuit edition. They put a fucking test holiday on the cover of Sports Illustrated. It's done, dude. It's not hot chicks anymore.

It's mutants for some of them. reason. But this is funny because, as I mentioned, John was telling Keanu how hot she was whenever he had a chance to, and then he goes down to say this. It's amazing. She actually believes she's hot. A few moments, I do. The Duke has scored a lot of hot ladies, Pean. You, in my hey day. I mean, I was just. GQ.

So, John tells Keanu that she's hot, nonstop. And then he goes, Kenna's not even hot. I'm the one who was hot. I don't remember Keanu ever returning that favor. Be like,

no, John, you're the hot one. Also, do we really believe that John scored a lot? Because didn't he get married, like get with Susanna and married, like really quickly.

And then they were married until, yeah, like the early, early 2000s. And that's when he became like a fucking loser drunk. Yes. He had, famously had the girlfriend Karen

that he talks about all the time that was a long-term relationship and then he knocked up Susanna and then after she had a kid in some time past they got married and uh then you had three kids with her got a divorce off the tonight show dead beat at Pickwick pub every

day living off the $110,000 Jay Leno gave him as a pity severance and uh yeah and then fast forward a few months after that he's on Stephanie Miller show hitting on everything with legs, including that dog. So, no, he's not, he didn't fuck 300 women.

We all know that. But John can't just go on there and be like, I don't think Keanu's hot, you know? She said mean things about me, so therefore she's not attractive anymore. He has to bring on Ava because it's very important that Ava also tell John how hot he is. All right, Ava. Is that not a good looking man? That's a four-year-old. Oh, no, fucking loser.

There's the long-haired Duke at the young age of 28. Now, what's so funny about this, Tab, if I'm Ava, I'm offended by this because I was attracted to women. Ava has fake tits, but I was not into dudes. So it doesn't make any sense. He'd be like, let me bring my girlfriend Ava on to talk about how hot I used to be when I was younger. So, you know, it's put in a weird spot here. and he's really making Ava work. Piano, this is about the time you decided to charge money for your asshole.

What I'm trying to say, Ava, is that obviously, you know, her initial assessment is incorrect. Would you not say that? Her assessment that you were in good looking or that you... That I wasn't. I'm not good looking enough to have ladies pay from my privates or, you know, like photos. No, you're absolutely, you're absolutely good looking. Is he saying that when he was 28, he was hotter than she was when she was 28, even though that was separated by a vast gulf of time?

Yes, he is saying that he could have sold his own asshole pictures. I was on with Shui of the gang last night, and we were talking about this. It's like, John could sell his asshole photos today. We all want to see what to do with those hemorrhoids and things. I would look into that. Also, women famously don't go for visual porn the same way men do, which is why they're all reading smut romance novels. Right. John claimed that he was in Playgirl, like an article in Playgirl.

And I pointed out on Shulay Show, I'm like, Playgirl is for gay guys. Girls don't like to look at guys just posing with their old don't hang out. Yeah. It's not their thing. No one likes don't. What's dogs? Gross. But do you know what I mean, though?

Could you imagine? John brings on Ava, who's attracted to women and goes, look at when I was 28. Don't you think that people would want to see me buck naked and check out my junk? Would he ask that of Vegas beer sells Jerry? Would you bring on Ditka? You'd want to see my dick when I was 28, right? It's like, why are you asking this question? Doesn't make any sense.

Wow. But no, John's convinced that he could have made money with asshole picks. So, uh, beyond you, yeah, I think I could. probably could have made a grand of two taking pictures of my asshole. But I decided not to. Do you understand the difference? Abba, do you understand the difference?

Nobody understands the difference, man. No, this is pure slut shaming. This is what he's doing right now. He's like, yeah, I could have sold my body too. I could have been a sex worker, but I'm not a slut. I took the high road. Yeah, I'm not a slut like Keanu. That's exactly what he's saying right there.

That's the difference. I may be a stunt boy, but at least I'm not a hoa. Right, yes. And then, yeah, it just, it gets nuts. He starts debating with Abba. What's annoying about John being his friend is that as soon as he has a falling out with another friend, you're no longer allowed to be that person's friend. You know, he just triangulates everywhere.

So Abba and Keanu had a relationship. They talked about all the time. They talked to each other on the phone. They actually were friends to whatever extent they were friends. But now, Ava was not allowed to be friends with Keanu and she has to change. your opinion of Keanu. I know you're not going to want to hear this. I know you're not going to want to hear this, and I understand.

I respect you. But Keanu once did a stream without makeup. Oofa. No. Yes. Hey, you used to agree with me on this. Keanu is hot. If it's a cell phone camera with no makeup, I think she's like...

No, no, no. I've seen a stream without her. makeup. She's just as hot without makeup. Well, that's... You're just horny. You're just horny. You're just horny. Oh. You're just horny. So John's like, don't you think she's ugly without

makeup? And I was like, we've talked about this before. I think she's a very attractive woman with her without makeup. It's like, do you're supposed to change your opinion now? Do you see how like this entire relationship is fake? The relationship he had with Keanu was fake. Because now he just changes his opinion on everything. Oh, this will happen to you. Wait until

you guys have a falling out and everything that he loves about you now, he's going to say you're terrible and you're the worst. It's just, it's going to happen and it happens every time. I don't know why people get into relationship with the John, especially when they're so invested in like, Ivot talks a John on the phone every day. It's all for it. Wow. He wasn't prepared for her to disagree. Right. That was apparent. Oh, yeah. Because they've already talked about this. Yep. You're supposed to say, no, now she's ugly. Now we don't like her. Yeah. So crazy. Mean girls. Mean girls, John over here. Right. Well, let's not forget that she did win the Duky

For most beautiful woman in the dabbleverse What say you, John Melendez? Keanu, the only reason you won the Duky Was because you were, what I thought was a friend Oh, else I would have gave it to Ashley Cummings Because no offense, Ashley Cummings is way harder than you Wrong. Hold on a second.

The only reason why you won is because you ran on a poster. like he might just feel like saying yeah i thought i was going to fuck you that's why i was complimenting you before that would be far less embarrassing than this display yes but but it'd be like well now that you don't like me anymore i'll just be honest with you because now i know we're not going to fuck i was like i don't think of that it tries him actually more smart yes also he uses the air quotes he's always misusing them yeah he got it right that time because there are no friends in his nope i thought we're friends yep good point all right so check out this new grift John's got going. Now, he told

us after he shattered his wrist, four different breaks in his wrist. A lot of bones in there. It's very complicated. But they stretched out his arm to get the bones back in the right place. And he's like, Doc, pile on the weights. You can't put too many on them, too tough.

And so they put all the weights they had. They had to go to the gym and find more weights to pop out there. There was an intern who was actually jumping up and down on his bicep. I thought that all worked, but apparently no, that's not the case. He is going to need surgery now. And the surgery is going to be like 30 G's.

So if you want to donate to my surgery, yeah, here. I mean, everybody else grifts. So here, let me do a grift to you. Yeah, donate to the Duke surgery because it's, you know, it's going to cost a lot of money. They got to put a rod in me. Not the first time I had a rod in me. But they're going to put the rod in me, and then I got to get a titanium plate all because I bought a brand new house.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I thought that someone pulled in front of him on his motorcycle, and he had to, so shouldn't he get that person's insurance to pay? It was a Trump supporter who did that. But no, actually, he made that up, Tab. Oh, yeah, he just went, getting out of the shower. He slid getting out of the shower and broken wrist. That's an even higher reason to not go, you know, if your husband hits you, you don't go back to your husband.

If the shower makes you fall and break your wrist, you're not going back in the shower. I agree with you. I mean, whenever that shower phobia thing you said earlier, cleanliness of phobia, I think he definitely has it now if he did before. Oh, I didn't write it down, but also in that is a part of it is not just cleaning yourself. It's cleaning your house. Cleaning your house becomes as part of that anxiety too. And we all know the conditions of John's living situation.

So I definitely think he has this. That I believe does cause of anxiety. He hates that. So isn't that interesting? He says, yeah, I got to get surgery. It's going to cost $30,000.

So here's my Venmo. You guys can send me Venmo, maybe PayPal, whatever he had pulled up there. Send me to me, I'm going to Venmo on 30 Gs to. Yeah, just give the whole thing. Why not? Yeah.

This, I have a theory about. this. I'm not buying it. We'll get into that in a little bit as we look at yesterday's show. But listen to this conversation he was having with his doctor. Now remember, this is an MD who he's talking to. It's so funny, I was talking to doctor

and, you know, and then he's like, wait, wait, wait, so you were a, you know, I forget what I would, but I was talking about being a school teacher. It's like, oh, you taught school too? I go, yeah. He goes, what subjects? I go, science, drama, algebra.

It was, holy shit, dude. I know. I'm a Duke. I'm the Duke. The doctor was amazed that you were a teacher. No, I do believe this. I do believe this. But it wasn't like a, wow, you're a teacher.

It's like a, wow, you're a teacher? Yeah. Whoa, no fucking wonder the world's gone the way it is. Which school district? Because I have young kids. I will pull them out immediately. Yeah. It's one of those where you put the comments.

in the sentence. He's so stupid that he actually thinks he's impressing a doctor by being a school teacher. Yeah. Who's making small talk? And he's like, wow, I'm like, I know, man. That's just how amazing I am. It's like, you think he's never operated on a teacher before? It's a lot of them.

I love the porky pig impression he's got going on. Yeah. Like, fucking spin it out, man. That's how you know it's a lie. Yeah. When it takes him so long to. figure out what he's saying. Eighty Daily says,

wasn't he just breaking about having insurance? Oh yeah. We'll get into that because that's what's coming up. I think probably people push back and went, why did it to pay $30,000 for this surgery? Why do we have to pay you $30,000 for this surgery? So. Well, it is his jerking off hand.

Well, here's an update on surgery and insurance. This arm, this wrist. I was supposed to have surgery Monday morning at 8 a.m. But the problem is my health care, even though I have it, I have the ID card when my surgeon

called them. They said I wasn't insured. And I am. And I've been dealing with this since 10 a.m. Cutting into my New York Yankee baseball time. So I was going crazy.

And now I have I have the cards I have the virtual cards and now I have the physical card so now surgery's been moved to Wednesday okay hold on a second

no one gives a shit about the cards no shit in the premiums right I have a stacks of insurance cards they're no longer bail it yeah they're worthless right but the whole idea that the surgeon called the insurance company that's not happening that's not one of his jobs

no right so that's a But also, what's all this thing where it's just like the insurance somebody said that I don't have insurance? Well, then you don't. They're the ones who have the records. They would know. Right. But I have the cod.

I got the cod. You got to take it. It's a punch, put a hole in it. But yes, right. I think I get one free. Third surgery sprees. Yeah. So he just said, which doesn't make any sense.

He didn't have, he has the car, but they said he didn't have insurance. He was going to go Monday morning. But now he's going Wednesday morning. So now he does have insurance, but we still have to give him $30,000? Well, I asked for the money. I can't take it back. There's a theory going around that John does not need surgery. There is no surgery coming.

John needs money for his attorneys. John fucked up and needs money to pay his attorneys in order for them to keep this lawsuit going. Because as we'll talk about momentarily, they've hit a little bump in the the road here with the lawsuit. And so I think John's trying to raise money real quick right now. When I first saw his injury, I was wondering if that was a real thing. Sure. Is there any proof that he has fractured his wrist?

I think he posted X-rays on Instagram. Okay. I believe he did. I remember seeing that. Everything's so black and blue and gnarly. Like, yeah. Yeah. But I saw people speculating about that.

Like, that's not a cast. What is that? Yeah. So I think he, I think he was like, oh, I, it was after I, heard on your show and then it popped up in my feed and it's like I shattered my wrist in four places. Yeah. And so. I believe it.

Well, John, you know, he says he's got to get a rod put in and that plate he's got to get put in. And you heard on Thursday show he made that joke. Not the first time had a rod in me. He was like, huh? What's the joke? Yeah. You know? So then he had some time to think about it.

So he did the joke again on Friday and he changed it up a little bit. And they're going to put a rod in me. I got to ask Lady Kay how to that feels, but they're going to put a rod in me. Right, because I'm the gay one, remember? Yeah. Sometimes John just forgets who the gay one is. I'm not by the gay one.

It's a Carl. Carl's the gay one. And you can tell he has no comedic ability the way he delivered that. That was very similar to the married 13 years, three good years. Yeah. Why, you really nailed that one.

He didn't even put the mutley in there. I know. Surprisingly enough, you thought I could just be subtle enough. People would be chuckling. I'm sure Vince the lawyer's kids were laughing at it. All right, so John is talking to the doctor about playing golf again. And, you know, he's concerned about whether he'll be able to play golf.

But actually, it's all just a big joke. I mean, I don't normally drink any afternoon. I know you people all think I'm drunky or whatever you think. A few moments later. The only reason I play golf is to drink. saw we that's just the fact Jack's

gold I don't I don't drink in the afternoon I drink in the early early evening well I was I was gonna say

like when do people usually hit the the links 8 o'clock at night 9 o'clock at night what you're talking about I only play golf to drink okay

but it's on the same episode that he said both of those things so yeah he's like he's like I asked the dynamite if I can play golf you know one of those like good because I couldn't be four brbbbbh get it

Yeah, yeah, we get it. This is the thing I was setting up earlier because I'm an idiot. But John, I don't think we'll ever do laundry again. And that's why he's telling us this. I unpacked all the box when not, I haven't done all of them. But a lot of them in the garage. So I'm finding all these old shirts that I used to have that I have, but I didn't know. But I, you know, so now I'm just, I have so many shirts.

I really should never buy a shirt. ever again in my life. I got at least 20 pairs of pants. Okay. You know, at least 40 pairs of underwear. Oh, boy. It's, you know, like 10 jackets. Do you think he's one of these guys who gets two days use out of the underwear?

Like it goes inside out for day two? No, he just wears him two days in a row. Yeah, that's probably too. Why is he telling us the inventory of his clothing if he's not thinking, like, I'm never doing laundry again? He can't help himself and he forgets what he's talking about. Yeah. Yeah. He reveals a lot.

That's information that no one needs to know, man. Eric Nagel's in the chat. He says, I was in SAG AFRA. If you're collecting pension age, you still get insurance benefits almost like a lesser Medicare. Well, that's what everyone was speculating. He should have insurance through SAG AFTR. But is he really? Well, if he didn't pay his dues, because we know he doesn't like paying things.

That's true. If he, you know, when he stopped being in SAG and started being a substitute teacher, if he stop paying his dues, then they won't let you collect your pension until your dues are back up. At least that's the way the unions I'm in work. Well, that's very possible. If he is getting his pension, he started collecting it early. He's only 60 years old. Yeah.

So is it possible that he's like turned on the pension thing, but doesn't mean that insurance has kicked in yet. I don't know. I don't know. My guess is that it's all bullshit and he's trying to raise money for his attorney because big news, you guys might have heard about this, but the court has, finally set a date. April 22nd at 11 a.m. The judge sent out a note to my attorney and John's two attorneys.

And the note said, well, the judge didn't send it out, but the person who works from the judge, the court sent it out, saying, we need to have a pre-trial meeting, pretrial conference. What's going on? Our attorney's been very frustrated that they're trying to negotiate things behind the scenes and they're not getting, we're not getting any information back from John's attorney. We can't get a response to an email. So my attorney drafted up this letter.

They're going to send to the court saying, we don't know what's going on. We're not getting a response. We don't know if they're still working with John. We can't tell. And so we sent this note over to John's attorneys and said, I'm going to send this into the court if I don't hear anything back from you guys. Are you guys still representing John? What's happening here? He didn't hear back for a week.

So he sent it to the court. So then the court's like, yeah, what is going on? And we still hadn't heard from John's attorneys. So finally the court said, okay, let's get a date. They sent out some dates for John's attorneys and our attorney to agree on. Our attorney said, I'm available this day and this day. Nothing back from John's attorneys. The court follows up.

Not even my attorney. The court follows up with Johnson's her date. Hey, we got these dates. Which one works for you? Nothing back. So then the court just says, fine, here's the date. April 22nd. Still no response.

The retainer ran out and they're just, if he's, not going to pay. They're not going to do billable hours. I don't think he ever paid them a dime. I think he got them to agree to do this on contingency. He was going to do me a slam dunk. And we were just going to pay out and just be like, oh, no, you got us. And here's some money. So John was just told, like, hey, there's a date.

And someone from your camp needs to be there. Now, the people who are invited to this court date, because I've seen the invitation in my inbox. And it wasn't sent to me directly from the court. It was sent to my attorney, and it was sent to John's two attorneys, Tabor Benedict, and Bennett Susser. John was not included in this, but for some reason, it's in John's head that he has to be there. Now, honestly, he shouldn't be there. An attorney should be there.

This is a pretrial conference to talk about what's going on with this case. Where are we at? Are we trying to negotiate me on the scenes? Are we trying to settle this thing? What's happening? So John should. He's talked about it on his show. He's just like, I don't talk to my attorney.

hear from other people what's going on. I don't know. So why the fuck would John show up? Well, apparently John thinks that he's coming to Rochester in April. So it looks like I'm going to Rochester. I mean, I never wanted to go there. It's not anywhere. I don't know.

Is Rochester on anybody's vacation list? I don't know. I try to think. I mean, I've been to Aruba, to May. Jamaica, Bahamas, Jambi Bay, Antigua, Hawaii. Why does he go, is it on anyone's vacation list? And then he just starts listing places he's been to that are like vacation destinations. Dude, I took a vacation in Natchez, Mississippi.

People like to go weird places. Well, I mean, regardless, it's not a vacation. And you don't have to be there. No one's asking John to be there. And it's not a fucking vacation. Again, he can't help himself and he doesn't know. what he's talking about. He's so stupid. John sued us.

And for whatever dumb reason, they thought that Manhattan was the place that the court was going to see this. And we said, well, that doesn't make any fucking sense. Dabble Khan 2 was in Rochester. And the court went, yeah, yeah, it makes way more sense. Well, Rochester do it. And now it's like, okay, now you have to try this case in Rochester. Just like, why would I want a vacation to Rochester? Fucking idiots. Now, I get a lot of my news from Davos Anonymous, but I think that's all he's reading. Yes. And of course, everyone's riffing like, oh, John's got to go and blah, blah,

and of course, it's not true. It's not true at all. But he believes it. He does. It'd be great to have him be there. Well, he's planning on coming. I don't think he will be there, but he says he's planning on coming. And this idiot can't get out of his own way. He keeps talking about the case and I shouldn't talk about what we're, I mean, things are being used against him. All right. I'll just say that. Things that are he's saying and his guests are saying on his show are, are evidence that was, that has been submitted to the court. And John cannot stop himself. I guess the lawyer wants me to go to Rock.

I guess he wants to meet me and pray. Is this like a personal appearance? Do I get a fee for this? Hold on. Am I getting paid to be in? Wait, what just happened? But I know he's a big Stern fan. So does he want me to?

Does you want to meet me? I mean, can't we do it a man? I mean, I don't know. You could always come in. Danny, if you want, just come to my house here and keep Coral. Oh, f***ing nosh. He's mocking the lawsuit. He's the one who brought the complaint.

And now he's openly just mocking it. The judge ain't going to like that. He's wasting the court's time. He's wasting a lot of people's money. And now he's just like, yeah. He is going to get a fee. It's going to be called court costs. Yes.

It's going to be. Sanctions. Yeah. Anti slap. Your honor. That's a character I'm doing. I mean, he's so fucking stupid that he's just openly mocking this lawsuit that he's the one who brought. It'd be one thing if he's dismissive like Dick was with Maddox because it's just like, well, Maddox is suing dicks.

And Dick can be like, this guy's an idiot. You know, what are you doing? John's when he brought this lawsuit against us. This wouldn't exist without John deciding that he was going to sue us. And now it's like, okay, well, real world ramifications are. coming in and your attorney has to travel to Rochester and be in person for this conference on this date at this time. And John's like, oh, because I'm a celebrity and everyone wants my autograph.

Yeah. That's it, John. You got it. And he literally was not asked to be there. And if he's the one who shows up to represent himself, it will not go well. But hilarious. I know. The suit situation is going to be amazing.

Yeah. We have to know from his Capitol Hill visit. Yes. It's going to show up all fucking disheveled. It's going to be on point. Oh, God. I will be there. I will definitely be there.

And I'll bring the bushlights, John. Don't worry about it, buddy. Yeah. You don't have to worry about transporting. I'll bartend. All right. Sounds good. So, yeah, John, for some reason, thinks that the date is April 18th, which is a Saturday.

He thinks that's the day of this pretrial conference. And he's convinced of him. You know, on April 18, you know, it's good because I'm going to be in New York anyway, April 16th at the comic strip. And then April 17th, I'll be in Poughkeepsie. So I'll be working my way up now. Moonhead, I know you book Comedy at the Carlson. Now, Vinny, I know we got there are problems in the past. And I know that big fat head of yours spends a lot of it.

time I play the Kay's ass but but if if you want maybe book me at comedy at the Carlson on April 18th this way it's not a waste of trip to me

then I could do a show April 18th in Rochester I I would love to see him do a set at the Tommy at the Carlson, but I'm just going to go out on a limb and guess that, you know, they booked all their dates for April. Scott Thompson, from kids in the hall.

We'll be there. I'll be at the Kyrie of the Carlson that weekend to see Scott Johnson. Well, fucking John can open for him. You know, he only does 10 minutes. That's true. Yeah, that actually worked for him. So, yeah, this fucking asshole gets the date wrong. He's like, oh, I got a gig in Poughkeepsie, the 17th, easy.

I'll just drive. No problem at all. I'll drive to Rochester, and I'll be there for the court day. It's the 22nd. This is all public information. it's all public it's all out there and the letter that Danny wrote to the court said he doesn't believe that John's attorneys are communicating with him at all so he doesn't he's not sure if they're even representing him at all anymore and he said the judge responded and said if no one from

John's camp shows up it will be dismissed and I believe there could potentially be sanctions against John and his attorneys nice yes I mean this could be, John's so fucking stupid. He can't get out of his own way. He's really fucked this one up. And he thinks that this is all just fun and games. He's just having fun with it. I mean, let's turn lemons into lemonade.

I mean, Mr. Zabalos wanted this 20-minute hearing. You know, let's face it, in my honest opinion, mostly to inconvenience us all. But it's actually sent to for two hours. And John goes, in my opinion, to inconvenience. all. Really? I don't know. I mean,

is it inconvenient to be sued for $20,000, Carl? Yeah, it's very inconvenient to get a lawsuit for actually, it was $600,000 against Shuling and me. Very inconvenient. It's caused a lot of grief and it's taken about a lot of my fucking dime. A shit ton of money. And this asshole is just like,

oh, now you want me to actually show up to court or have my attorney represent me there? Yes. It's a lawsuit. It's an opinion mostly to. inconvenience is all, but really I don't mind traveling, Danny. It doesn't matter to me.

I mean, you know, I travel all the time. It's just another stop. He's going to have a problem. Dude, someone send that clip to the judge because you being like, oh, you big, dumb loser and your stupid robes.

You're just wasting my time. It's like, you fucking started this, you giant drunk jackass. The court is not going to like this. No. It's not a good look. So, yeah. Your fucking attorneys were doing their fucking job and responding to things.

This wouldn't be happening. I think you're spot on. I think there's no surgery. And he's trying to get them money before the 22nd, before the 18th. Well, yeah. Because if they put in that titanium plate, there's no way he's getting through an airport security ever again because he won't have the right paperwork or whatever. Let's be wandering and just send him out his way.

So he's driving. Well, he might. he might be it's amazing John's such a boob we all knew this would happen but who knows

maybe we'll hear back from one of John's attorneys maybe Bennett's Susser will finally respond to an email and we'll hear from him and they'll be like oh I'll be there you know maybe

maybe we can get him hey well let's send him a Landau's number yes Kevin A Landau dog by lawyer A Landau is the attorney he needs

I mean no one's heard from Tabber Benedict in months. I'm right here, dude. Not a different tabber. It's been fucking months. You have to, if you're, Lucy did a great job,

and once over with Kaylee last night covering this stuff. You can't just bow out of a lawsuit without telling anyone. You have to file something with the court to be like, I'm no longer representing John Belundas. He just ghosted it. I don't pretend to know the law, but I would have guessed that.

Yeah, right? You don't just take your ball and go home. Yeah, yeah. Hey, are you going to show you? up to court that case? I lost interest in it. What? He's going to find everything.

I'm busy that day. Yeah, Tamara. I will say this right now. I think there's a better chance that Tamara Benedict shows up at Dabalcon 3 that shows up in court representing John Belundas. That's a fact, Jack. This is hilarious. John yesterday, after going through this dumb rant, had Steve Grillo on his show. that dynamite personality.

And Steve Grillo got together with Baba Booie, Gary Delabate, not too long ago, a year or two ago, at a Mets game. And listen to what John thinks is going on whenever guys from the Howard Stern show interact with each other. This is... Oh, wow. Holy shit. And how long ago was that?

It wasn't last season of the Mets. It was the season that they were in the playoffs. So it was probably... wasn't last met season or the season before that. And he was cool with your book. Oh, yeah, no, he insisted on buying me a drink and sitting down and telling him. He was like, yeah, tell me what's going on in your life? How are you?

What's new? So we sat and chilled for about maybe 20 minutes. And how soon did he brought me up? I don't think it was. He was really more curious about what was going on in my life. Wow. John thinks that Gary Delabate is just like, okay, what's going on? with John Melendez.

Have you talked to him recently? What did he say about me? That's fucked up. It's amazing. That is crazy. That is. Crazy narcissism. The narcissism.

Yep. Exactly. That's pure narcissism right there from, uh, from John Melendez. Unbelievable. I was, I was actually watching that in real time. Lucy's show had ended. And I popped over to this and Chen's in the kitchen making dinner. And I'm watching this in the office.

And we both laugh out loud at the same. time. Holy shit. Stuttering Sex Pest, WTP versus Stuttering John 2025, Part 2, tomorrow at 9 Eastern Time. Thank you, buddy. I love what you're doing putting together all of the segments that we cover John Melendez. If you want to hear every segment, WTP covering John Melendez going back to 2018 when we started their coverage, it is all on at Stuttering Sex Pest on YouTube. I mean, go to sleep to it, you know, popping on, doze off, you wake up, it's still going, it's still going, it's still going.

I meant to play this a little while ago. It's been out for a week or two, but I believe it really busy on the show and things have been going along. You might have noticed on Wednesdays. Yeah. This is actually really well done. I'll just let it play. I might get our dumb heads out of the way on this one. A lot of women want me because I'm successful, but I'm looking for someone who wants the real.

me. This season on Celebrity Bachelor, John embarks on a journey to find true love. If you want to be with me, you'll have to earn it. Taking place at the most exotic location John is able to afford. Will you grab me another beer? Seven women who are happy just to be on TV. What do you mean you don't have beers? She's paying. We need beers. Temper's flare as contestants compete for John's attention. I already went on a date with him. It's your turn.

Girl, please. I had to sit through his dumb-ass podcast. Now, these women set their sights on a man unlike any other. I'm not one of those guys that showers every day, and I don't use toilet paper. I'm a manly guy. That's what women like about me. Some nights will leave lasting connections. One time I was sitting with Pamela Anderson, and I swear to God, I could have banged her. But she's not really my type. Uh-huh.

Take care of the check, will you? I don't want to do this show anymore. Now six women open their hearts in an unforgettable summer of romance. If you can't open the door any faster? He's a nice gentleman. I hope he picks me. Not every woman gets the opportunity to date the star of the Howard Stern show and the tonight show. These women are lucky. Are you really that famous?

Are you kidding me? I'm a successful comedian and actor, and you're going to pretend you don't know who I am? And when romance is on the line, heartbreak, is inevitable. Susan, on our last date, I asked for something simple, a full-body massage, and you hesitated. And then you lied. That was the final straw. John smelled like ass the entire time I was with him.

Honestly, I'm just happy to be going home. For those remaining, the competition only intensifies. It's time to prove your worth. The fastest woman to get me beers from that cooler will win a special reward. Challenges are met and secrets are revealed My shoulder with his sweaty ass hands And that smell? It was like fresh dog shit Left in a bag of gym socks

His breath is usually what knocks me out Have you ever seen him without a beer in his hand? No, nope. I keep telling myself this will be worth it If my influencer thing takes off I think Doris is the only one actually into him I knew it I knew you broads were lying

This summer expect the unexpected I'll be suing all of you For misrepresentation And you know what else? I was only attracted to one of you. You're all off the show. In the end, anything can happen. That's amazing.

Isn't that incredible? That was great. Static Times. Put that out. Check out Static Times on YouTube. If you want to go on there and hit the like button, as everybody Hughesy would say. Hey, you made it 666. I did just make it 666.

I think that's good luck. or something. It probably means you're going to hell. Oh, that's fine. I want to thank the people who are checking out who are these.com. I mentioned this up top that we do have a PO box and the physical address.

You can send stuff to us. I got this in the mail. Ted, you might know what this says. There was no note. Didn't say who sent it to me. I don't know who did. But it's a Blu-ray for hard ticket to Hawaii. Any idea what that is?

Is that... The name sounds familiar. I think it might have been on best of the worst. Okay. That makes sense. Yeah, so an Andy Sedaris film. I checked in with Lucy, my resident movie expert, she said that I would enjoy it, whatever that means. And then this is fantastic.

We got some shirts from Jokey Jackman. I got a few of these, actually. And he took a photo of John at Rodney's with his arms up to... triumphantly and it says say hello to the bad guy that's pretty good that's a pretty good so thank you for sending in those uh those shirts he assumes all those are fat fox there's only one owl the rest of our x-ls or double x-outs but that's fine i want i wanted john to come do a show in st louis i would would really pay to go see stuttering john live i don't think he'd sell a lot of tickets tab i don't think so either but I would be there.

I would be there. And Annie would be there. Annie lives in St. Louis. Yeah. Who's this bluehead loser? My buddy Jacob lives in St. Louis. He would definitely go to it. All right.

Maybe we get a few people out for that. Yeah, we'll do improv shop I see, I think, sits like 25 people. So, you know, I won't do it there. Did Howard Stern, was he ever in St. Louis? I don't know. Yeah. No, I think St. Louis is a man-cow town. Oh, right.

That makes sense. Yeah, because we're close to Chicago. go. Tab, thanks so much for coming on today and thanks for sifting through that horseshit that was soul ringers and then that fucking necessary conversation. I can't believe that has so many followers and views. Yeah. It's, uh, and there's a lot of episodes.

There's a lot of episodes. I think the dad is like not on the show a lot, but a lot of it is just him bullying his mom. It's, it's unhealthy. It's not good. It's like good for anyone. And I think she's putting up with it, you know, just to try and like, maintain a relationship it's it's sad it's some sad shit i love that you found that i appreciate you're

all wondering who that guy was shout out to tim the handle breaker thank you tim and tab anything you want to promote you doing the podcast or anything that not really podcasting much anymore nope uh check out check out check out the creep off vote for viny he's the best fuck you you're the worst um all right if you want to hang out hang out we got some voicemails but first we got the internet news internet news with jennifer jingles three posts, Chad Zumach got a DUI on Saturday. Who would have seen this coming? Bear 79 reports, cop is alleged to have yelled,

This is Coomia country! During the arrest, random access Seamus notes, always good when a 51-year-old with a criminal record is still learning for mistakes and promises to come out on top. Dick Disco begs us, please don't make a mockery of this. Sarcastic weed head is serious.

Hope all the trees are okay. Tended bison opines. Chad saw Tiger Woods do it and thought that'll get some views. Stupid or liar The main question is, who found out and forced him to get in front of it? Before the news got posted elsewhere, from Dablers Anonymous, speculation abounds regarding Stuttering John's alleged upcoming surgery. Buzz Numbnuts offers, he'll probably tell his providers that he just drinks light beer

and dilutes it with water, so it's really like he doesn't even drink at all. Practical ad claims, John only sees the most modern doctors who utilize all of the latest copes. I mean, beer math technologies. So they will agree. XD. Conquerue, the doctors are going to get a lecture on beer, math. If John was smart, and he is not, he would talk to the doctors about his alcohol intake. Doctors can prescribe alcohol to manage symptoms. Anthony underscore reassures us. They say it's okay to have only five light beers morning of surgery. So though it will be a sacrifice for him, he'll be fine.

And from YouTube, K-19 sparks comments, John's reputation in Hollywood has been dog shit for the last 20 years. No one is hiring him to write anything. Alexander Crumulent points out, the director has scrubbed this movie from his wiki page. Evans Gate, I'd love to hear from one of his writing peers and know how much he really contributed. It was probably nothing but dumb gags that he stole from other comedies. Jay LaFleur noticed, we didn't have a hallway. Are those hard to find John? Local lounge is very observant. Adam taking measures to not look like Ron the waiter, noted. Robert Ashton is too. Adam paints a beautiful picture of reality. Cushy Clips comes in with some defense. Some people call John a dead-be-dead, but clearly he was active in their life, suicide baiting them

into getting his way. And we're not sure what this means exactly. But for some reason, East 52nd Flatbush plays us out with. At this point, I want to cuddle with Christian Blatt and have Chris put Carl on his shoulder so I can speed at him. Thank you very much, Jenny Jingles and producer Chris for producing our internet news segment, getting caught up on all the things going on on the internet surrounding who are these podcasts.

The other way to interact with the show is, of course, our voicemail line. And we do a segment every episode that is the Gary and San Diego voicemail segment. It's a bunch of crap. Swing in a myth Rock and roll I said segment twice I was like

The voicemail Ah Tonight we're going to rock it A night Yeah Anyway So yeah There's a lot of theories

About John's broken arm Yeah I don't think Stuttering John's arm Is actually broken I think he just wants A really good reason Why he can't go to Hackamania and Box Tuki

It's been waiting On his mind Oh man I could What Turns out and dollars at least out of this. Why, why am I

turning this down exactly? And the broken arm is the excuse that he will use. If someone brought that up to him again, uh, thank you, Bucky Bye. That's what I thought too. I thought for sure he would have agreed to do that because the money was so good

and then break his arm. Yeah. Yeah. He wasn't going anywhere near Hackamania anyway, so. Well, he, he wanted to, he wanted to be like, uh, uh, uh, Rocky Balboa, you know, he's, he's, an age champ is a broken arm thing that still ends up winning you know and we're so used to sorry go ahead like a Cinderella story right yeah we're so used to him lying all the time we forgot about the gig that he had up the street from hackamania he had a gig that's right yeah didn't he

said he booked something in Vegas yeah he didn't though no now he's going to be in Poughkeepsie right now he's playing all the big halls um this is the arborist who's been calling in a lot lately. And this is something that I was asking for. Bill Burr-Stinger. He's got one for us. Carl, it's the Arborist. I'm almost caught up now.

Say you don't have a Bill Burr-Stinger? Well, baby, ask, and you shall receive, okay? Here, Chris, cut it in three, two, one. Oh, it's for me. Bill Burr, and I'm off that. All right, bye-bye. It's pretty good. I really love the O-B-B-R-Bur game,

because, like, Bill Burr, I used to think was hilarious. and then, you know, watches specials and stuff. Opie, I never really knew about. I've only experienced them through your show and being a massive fucking loser. But the fact that they say stuff that sounds so similar is fascinating. And the way they talk, too. The patterns, yeah, sometimes I'm like, oh, the laying of these um sounds like opi. And then it's burn.

I'm like, what the fuck is happening? Simon, the brilliant guy who put that game together for us is working on a special game for Vegas for us that I'm excited about. Miguel was some parallel thinking. Hey, Carl, it's Miguel from the Motor City. Now, I'm not usually a conspiracy theorist, but is it possible that John in an attempt to hurt himself to not have anything said about him not fighting Rocco at Haccamania really broke his arm?

I don't know. I'm just saying, all right, see you at the poker tables. Next week at Hacomini. All right. I'll see you there, Miguel. Yeah, I mean, I don't think John would go through with breaking his arm. But I do think he's trying to grift his audience for a lawyer money. Yeah. I don't know.

The house next door to me has been sold to EDR. I see what you did there, sir. That wouldn't be the worst thing. Earl David Reed's a good guy. You goaps. Pichadul is wopsing for dick. For example, Adam Bush, like Bob Dylan. What a piece of duel.

All right, shoot. I've never heard. Did he just use the phrase, Wop? Yes. Wow. I've never heard Pisha Duel before you. Not until Maria Bosco. Right, that check.

We were playing Sammy Hagar, talking about Tom Waits the other day. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm most of the way through that episode. Okay. Hey, Carl KFT. Listen to whatever show it is this week, the one about Sammy Hanfauer.

He is cool, okay? You do not talk about the Red Rooster. Wait, Red Rocker. Red Rocker? Shit, Dever gun? Shut my ass. Don't call him. The Red Rooster, KFT.

You got it, buddy. This is something, it's a good note, and I agree. This is another guy from New Hampshire. What is wrong with your mouth? All I can hear on the microphone is your tongue just snapping and banging and crying. Jesus. That and the... Enough.

Don't come to school tomorrow. All right. Thank you, sir. Good notes. I hear it myself. I hear it at my headphones. I have to do better. My mouth is both moist and dry if that's possible at the same time.

That's, man, there's no wonder Carl's popular with the ladies. It's never-ending line of Poutang. Yo, Carl, this is Maddie Oh, and Grand Rapids. You're talking about Howard and who's listening to Howard. I like to call that shit like co-worker radio. I'm in construction, and I was born and raised in Royal Oak. I listened to Drew for my whole life since I was in diapers, but you get into the workforce and then you realize your co-workers are listening to Dave and Chuck the freak and free beer.

Fucking free beer in Grand Rapids, dude. They eat that shit up over here. And it's like it's ass. And it's like, who's listening to this? And then you're like looking around. It's like, oh, these fucking shitheads I work with, that's who's listening to it. So, yeah, I mean, I classify Howard as NPC or like co-worker radio. nowadays. Audio wallpaper. Yeah.

Sucks, but. Co-worker radio. I like that. Yeah, I liked what in the last episode, someone, one of you, whoever was on the show was like, is there not a firearm within like a reasonable distance to Howard Stern? Because it really sounds like he's miserable not being

on the radio. He's miserable on the radio. Like, just fucking end it, dude. He is suffering deep depression. And then talking about how he goes to therapy all the time. And it's like, yeah, I think you should try something else, you know, like, I don't know. He preaches therapy

to all of his successful guests. You know what you need is therapy? I'm actually killing it, Howard. I actually like my job. All the drugs, just like at once, the same time. See, baby, I don't know, shot in the dark, see if you can find some fucking happiness. When he said, just, like, as an aside,

he's like, yeah, I was thinking about taking antidepressants. I was like, wait, what? Yeah, and then I was like, nah, might change my personality. Yeah. Yeah, that's the point. That'd be great. I can't imagine.

I think if your co-worker is listening to Howard Stern, you should do a wellness check because I think if I listen to any more than what you play on the show, I would think about slitting my wrists. Yes. This pacing is way different than it used to be, and the content is just so depressing. He's got nothing to live for.

A fucking millionaire, billionaire is bitching about, like, my microwave burrito wasn't all the way hot all the way through. the fuck up you can solve all of your problems who is this for uh it's it's infuriating and the one thing i would say is depressing is living with 500 cats and 300 dogs however they're in a totally different wing yeah he doesn't have to go near them at any point go to a different mansion yeah i imagine that he's like howard hughes you know locked up and and just he's brought that up before and shit during covid he brought up he goes i i i I'm starting to get into the Howard Hughes territory.

And I'm worried about it because, yeah, he was so afraid. He was so agoraphobic. He would not leave the house. And Beth forced him to finally go get dinner. And remember that was a whole debacle because he's like, I was told it was outside, but we're actually inside with the windows were open. That was a whole thing.

He was pissed. Well, that was his three weeks off is like the big event was they went to dinner one night. Yep. Like, and how much fucking haranguing did that take to get him to finally be? like, fine, we'll go to dinner. You know. You know the reservation was set for 4.30. And they're like, you don't need a reservation.

Yeah. Tables will be available. Come on in. Yeah. Anyway. I got to go. Bye. I got to go. I got to go.

I got to go. I got to go. Okay. Bye. All right, everybody. You know, this was a great podcast. It was very revealing. This is it.

It's over. Okay, goodbye. Goodbye. Are we done here? I think we are. Okay, folks. Guess what? The episode's over.

Okay, bye. Don't you worry about it. Don't you worry about it. Well, you should be worried about it, actually. Sorry, take that back. You shouldn't be very worried. Be very, very worried.