Who Are These Podcasts? - Ep737 - Johnny Krutches, Opie Radio, StutJo, Artie Fletcher, Jerry Banfield

Episode Date: June 21, 2026

This week we’re checking out Johnny Krutches’ show, The Game Over Podcast. Steel Toe’s cohost couldn’t be more boring or depressing. He’s learned from Aaron Imholte that it’s important to raise money for a goal, even though he literally has dozens of viewers.  Jodie B and Cardiff Electric both join us to play a Johnny version of “Is It Gay?” Jodie checks in on Jiamah, the black queer Christian, who has a brand new business venture. Is Jerry Banfield her mentor? Speaking of Jerry, he’s talking about why spending $10k on dating so far this year was a great investment, even though it hasn’t translated to a single relationship. Opie is gaslighting his audience and cohosts to think that O&A was toxic because of Anthony and Jim. WHAT?!?!? That's crazy, even for delusional Opie!! We revisit Stuttering John’s interview with Artie Fletcher now that we know that Artie is a pathological liar and a narcissist. We end things with your voicemails. Jodie B's show - https://www.patreon.com/cw/ssotw  Cardiff on YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@CardiffElect Support us, get bonus episodes, and watch live every Saturday and Wednesday: ⁠⁠http://bit.ly/watp-patreon⁠⁠ ⁠⁠https://watp.supercast.tech/⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Free of charge. BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with Eye Gaming Ontario. I told them in the strongest of words to just do it. You see, this is a we just do it kind of show. Episode number seven. Are you a boner guy? Oh, I was a boner guy. You know what?

I missed penis. What are you talking about? I'm the one who should apologize. Is it going to be absolutely riveting? Is it going to change your life by any stretch? Probably not. but it's going to be at least entertaining, okay? By the way, for those people that are in the back, remember to shut the fuck up.

Shut the fuck up, asswife, and suck my cock. I've been dying to say that. Maddie-Oh! Cuzz-a-Roo! Capparoo! Slapparoonie! It's showtime. WATP.

WATP. WATP. Hello, everything's and country. Welcome to another episode of Who Are These Podcasts, the only show that doesn't take phone calls from VTL or MGA. I'm your host, Carl. With me this week, Missy B's brother from Shitty Song of the Week. It is Jody B.

Oh, hello, hamburger. What do you like on your hot dogs? Also, with us, the man whose real name is... From at Cardiff Elect on YouTube. Cardiff Electric is here. What's up, buddy? Good afternoon, Carl. So, producer Chris is on vacation this weekend.

Well-deserved vacays down in Philly. You can turn the show off now, ladies and gentlemen. But, you know, he gives me these intros. I never listened to him ahead of time. I always, I'm surprised by them. I think that he cheaped out on this one. I think that's him saying 37. Listen to this again.

Episheum number seven. 37. Maybe not. I thought that was just producer Chris putting out a voice at saying 37. You miss him that much already, Carl. No. It's like, how lazy are you? You're just recording yourself saying 37?

No. Who Are These.com, all the links and all the stuff and all that fun shit. Patreon.com, such who are these podcasts or our YouTube page? We're doing a bonus show with Dick Masterson on Thursday, I believe. But it will be this week coming up. So another crossover event with The Dick Show. Also, we encourage our listeners. Give us five stars on Apple Podcasts or wherever you review podcasts and then shit all over us in the comment section.

Today, we'll be reviewing the Game Over podcast. This is a suggestion from Jody. We have listened. We have not discussed it. Let's get into it. The GameWore podcast is hosted by Johnny Crutches and Digger. And, of course, Johnny Crutches is Steeltoe's Sidekick on Monday through Wednesday on the Steel Toe Morning Show. That's how we know about Johnny Crutches.

He has multiple sclerosis, and he's unable to walk at this point. He used to be able to walk around a little bit. He used to go over to Aaron's house and climb over the computer cables and sit next to Aaron. But now he does everything from home. And just think that's what he would call the good old day. Right. Go figure. So he did a show yesterday called Finally Back, 61926. It has 116 views 22 hours ago.

It's three and a half hours long. And it starts off with some big news of what's going on in Johnny's life. I told people through the YouTube app like I posted on there. It's like, have an emergency. We won't be able to do a show as planned. I didn't want to go into the specifics of the emergency, but like it wasn't like a super, It wasn't a medical emergency. I got a, I was getting a passport and I lost my checkbook afterwards.

And so I had to retrace all my steps, still didn't find it. Then I had to go to the bank and pretty much, I'm like, hey, I lost my checkbook. And we had to do a whole bunch of starting a new account, closing your old account. Rividing stuff. Oh, Carl, could you imagine, could you imagine trying to retrace those steps? They're going to be all over the fucking place. No, fuck that. You can't be a guy named Johnny Crutches.

guy with MS and have a vague emergency. Right. It's really cheap. Everyone's going to assume you wield your way in a traffic or something or you're dying. Yeah. How the fuck do you use a checkbook, let alone lose a checkbook in 2026? Hopefully, he brings it up at the beginning of the show and they don't talk about it again because that sounds like a really boring story.

Oh, no, wait. He keeps talking about it. I have no idea where my checkbook is. I can't find it now. I checked the gas station. I checked the post office. I looked top to bottom in my car. My mom came out and checked my car.

Like none of us could find it. We have no idea where it is. And I'm like, great. So then we had to go to the bank. My mom came and checked my car for me. I realize you have MS. I mean, your eyeballs work, right? You have to have your mom come and look for it.

It's weird. Post office. All the places you could possibly. Why would he be pulling out his checkbook at the post office? He was renewing his passport, and he claims you have to write a check for that. At the past, at the post office? I mean, Cardiff, I don't know, man. It all sounds retarded to me.

But don't worry. This goes on. He continues to talk about it. Yeah. Johnny had anxiety poops yesterday. That wasn't even it. No. Johnny was freaking out over not being able to find his checkbook and then had to go through the process of reporting it missing, closing the account.

Making sure we notified the bank and the bank is known to pass the one. I just need the check. I wrote that yesterday morning to go through. The rest of them don't have to. Why is Johnny referring to himself in the third person here? A lot of the show is him reading the chat. I mean, all of the show is him reading the chat and responding to individual chats. It really is that, Carl.

I did a completely different episode and it was awful. Just what are you doing, dude? So we continue on with the saga of the missing. checkbook. Scruffy says, how does one lose a checkbook? I had way too much stuff to bring with me in my wheelchair.

I went to a tiny cramped post office to do the passport thing. I said from the beginning, let me pay it right now because if I pay it, I put a checkbook way. I had to pay a checkbook part at one point.

I had to pay with a card at the other. So one was 190. Those 50s. It was like 240 after we were all said and done for everything. And it just, I couldn't find my fucking checkbook after. riveting stuff.

Does he ever tell us where he's going that he needs a passport? That's a good question. So Digger lives in Canada and I think he wants to fucker. So that'd be my guess? I'd write a check for that. Although I have like one of those enhanced

license that you need in order to fly and you can get into Canada with that. Right? Unless he's going overseas or something. I don't think you can get in with that. I think you can get back into the U.S. with that. What? can't get in Canada.

Canada's not going to let me in. I got to go see Weezer in September. They're not going to let me in. Oh, no. Send me your tickets. I guess I'm going to Weezer. There's the solution right there. You'll be my buddy Gavin from Buffalo.

Yeah. I want you to do. I have a room on a wheelchair. Could you have a fanny pack or a backpack? Oh, dude, there's so many. There's so many choices to put shit in a wheelchair. It's pretty much only places to put things. Right.

Well, okay, he does have a good excuse for losing his checkbook. Yes, the saga can do. use. Power Windows says to be fair, losing a checkbook in 20206 is boomers fuck. Well, that I can thank to my, apparently my worsening diagnosis. Oh, okay, guys. He has MS. Therefore, we can't make fun of him for losing his

checkbook, all right? The guy can't move his legs. Of course he's going to lose his checkbook. That fucking makes sense, right? Does it make you forgetful, Carl? Is that part of MS? It makes you terrible of podcasting. It makes you uninteresting. It makes you uninteresting. It makes you a bore. I think it affects your funny bone, too, from what I

saw. Dude, this show is so depressing. Real quick, this is the last thing he's talking about with the passport and shit. And I'll get into more clips of how depressing the show is, but this is an example. Here's what I'm going to say about the picture they took. Like, my eyes change based on my mood. I've apparently been depressed a lot because they're way more blue than green. Cool. Moot eyes.

Yeah. Thanks. Is that like a ring that you get or something like that? He has it with his eyes. That's pretty cool. You put your finger up his ass and they change colors. All right, Joe. Where do you want to start with your clips?

Do you want to sum it up with number six? Yeah, this is the clip that best describes the episode that I listened to that was called, that was fast. And I thought, hey, that'll be fun. I get in, get out three and a half hours later. I was not very satisfied with Mr. Johnny Crudges. It is not fast. No, you don't understand.

It's my 21st birthday. I get a free dump today. We're losing him. Oh, no. Good Lord. Yep. It's bad. Yep. Now, my synopsis, guys.

This was a solo show. Digger wasn't on this one. No, she went. And what's funny in the very beginning, he addressed that, you know, and I did clip that. Because like I said, out of the gate, man, I've done this a handful of times. And you get like a thrill going through listening to shit you don't know about and to find that thing and go, ooh, I'm going to clip that and make a fucking joke. Three and a half hours, I clipped seven clips. Yeah. I'm normally 30 plus. to trim them down and I can just go there's nothing here to work with me watch the whole thing too

I know audio clips are late in the show a couple observations I have first off digger is unnecessary the fact he's like oh no I don't have digger here all she does is giggle at the chat that she's reading to herself sure I mean they don't even have a conversation it's bizarre with what the show just stealing all the good comments from each other through the whole show yeah but also I want to point out since we have the comments pulled up here I mean this this episode had what 60 views or something like that and it came out June 2nd no one's watching this shit there's this guy named King Kong

Dong 42 and almost every comment that's going on in here and from King Kong Dong this guy's just talking to himself in the comment section. King Kong was supplying most of the content for this episode Carl. I know it's embarrassing. All right let's get the announcement of

digger not being there. Yes sir. I was hoping to sucker my favorite little redheaded co-host in and she didn't fall for it. She's got other things to do so busy that she said she might not even be able to pop in the chat. The cunt. She's busy hiding your checkbook, asshole. Learning from Aaron, that's a great point, Cardiff, because this show certainly has mild

racism. Aaron is a little bit more of the top, but, you know, Jody's kind of the vanilla version of Steeltoe. I meant the shitting on your co-host. Yes, well, that part of that too. but what's great here is that Digger, while she provides nothing to the show, she does laugh along at mild racism. She is a fan of that. Like, it's just anyways, the black ones will mess you up, says Balls Deep.

Well, that's, like, you could like insert rule of life here. I mean, we don't have to be specifically talking about. Yeah, the black ones who will mess you up is a fairly. That's, that's me. Speaking of... Speaking of black ones, I wore a black shirt yesterday. Rividing stuff. Digger's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, we all got the joke.

Black people. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We got a dicker. They're dangerous. You guys even know how funny this is because they can be talking about people. Like, man, that way ahead of you there. But thank you. Good stuff.

You guys don't have black people in Canada, do you? No, not anymore. Just Asians, right? So, Johnny had appointments this week. you know, he came on Steeltoe not long ago. We played the clip where he was a bummer. He's like, I got some really bad news. I don't want to talk about it.

Surprise, surprise. Yeah, everything's just a bummer with this guy. And so what a show this guy has. How did your appointments go? The ones on Wednesday, not so well. The one yesterday morning was great up until I realized I could no longer find my checkbook after I paid for my passport. Oh, fuck.

So, yeah, it was kind of shitty. Thank you. Chris's soundboard is not here today, so thank you for that. So Johnny got bad news. He doesn't want to talk about it, but he wants to be bummed out. He wants you to know that he's bummed out. And he definitely wants a pity party.

Yeah. That part is important. And if you're wondering, all right, we all know Steeltoe has a goal. That's the best part about his show. There's a goal. People give him money. He has to do rallies.

He does, you know, the white power hour. It's got the light and everything. Does Johnny have a goal? Before we get going any further into that, I will say. My goal is to get to the living room. Yeah, to tie his fucking shoes one day. I mean, it should be a goal. Before we get going any further into.

to do that, I will say our goal move forward today because I don't charge people for my days off if I was going to do a show and I suddenly had to cancel. I'm not like, yeah, and that's on you guys. Like, no, that's not how we do this. Is he taking credit for that? He's not asking for buddy for the show he didn't do yesterday? That's cool. Thanks.

Yeah, not like my boss. Who's a tyrant. Yeah, it was a weird brag right there. Did you hear his goal? Because I think it's subsquench, sub, oh, fuck. Whatever the word is. Substantially.

Yeah. lower than errands. Oh, yeah. Hold on. I'll let it play. Here we go. That is not how we do this thing. So we move the goal forward today.

So it's on to the 24th, which is, I believe, next Thursday. Nope, next Wednesday. The goal's on next Wednesday. And then everything we made on Monday knocked it down by $10. So we are down to $50 for next Wednesday's goal. So please thank you, whatever. Awesome. And we'll.

He's down to $50 for next to Wednesday's goal. So he has a weird thing where he has a goal that's out in the future. at some point. You donate money towards that so that when he gets to the future date, he has the money. 50 bucks for a week's worth of the shows. Good stuff.

He's heard Aaron talk this bullshit for so long, this completely makes sense to him. I think it's $50. Because I heard... He said 50. The only number I heard was $50 in all of my clips, too. Working towards the dough. Is his voice really annoying to anybody else, by the way?

He has a dozen people watching him live. The balls of this asshole to ask for money is insane. More money, Carl. Why the fuck would anyone want to give him money? Because he also has, you notice on the scroll underneath it, it says, next go F me, July 3rd. Check this out. By 10 bucks, so we are down to $50 for next Wednesdays.

So it says the next go F me is July 3rd. By that, he means his go fund me, which here it is right here, help a cripple get a crib. He's raised $1,355 of the $3,000 he needs. You see David Chandler gave $100 a year ago, you sucker, David Chandler. Aaron M. Holtz in for $100. Yeah, but he didn't donate. He didn't donate.

That was his payment for a month. No shit. I'm Johnny. I am 42 years old and separate from multiple sclerosis. I am the father of an amazing six-year-old, probably seven or eight by now because it's run up about a year ago. Though we have separated, her mother and I continue to live together so I can be close to my growing daughter.

Now, my health has declined to where I can no longer continue in my current living situation. There are too many stairs for me to climb and I need to find a place that will be wheelchair accessible. I need to secure a space for myself, my two cats, and my daughter on occasion. I have until September to do so. I'm disabled and streaming to make ends meet since I'm unable to continue doing stand-up comedy and DJ work, which I'm sure paid amazing.

I was DJ work and state of comedy. So this guy started this go-fund me last summer. He was supposed to move out in September. He has not moved. Aaron addressed this recently on his show. He's just like, Johnny's better fucking start giving people up with their money back or something. He better tell people what he's spending this money on

because he's got $1,300 and nothing has happened. And he's still promoting it. He's still talking about his GoFund me. I wonder what $3,000 would get you. That's rent for maybe a month nowadays, right? Well, St. Cloud, probably buy a house. Oh, that is true. Yeah.

It's a weird place that St. Cloud. I hear it's lovely there this time of the year. Yeah. Maybe you can buy, isn't Carmick selling his house on his parents' property? Yeah, that can be available. Carl, there's stairs.

I was going to say, it's a modular home. There probably aren't stairs in that house. It probably would work. Is Carmick going to be there? Because he could probably carry him around in a backpack like the other. That's not a bad idea. Because remember Aaron wanted Johnny

to go after Carmick and start a feud with him. Yeah, go the other direction. Yeah, we wanted to stick it to Aaron. He's like, no, I would be his best friend. And we're going to move in together. You come the new odd couple. They both love smoking weed. And, you know, he doesn't worry about gilly, giving him shit for smoking weed.

He can be like, I got Johnny here. I can lay him down on the bed, have my way with them. We get high afterwards. It's great. Johnny's kid is going to love the leg guitar. I bet that. Oh, dude. The leg guitar is a hot move.

All right. Enough about Karmic. Jody, where do you want to go next, buddy? Listen, all I have is fun pointers of realization through this episode. give me clip number three he's not in denial Carl I think he's very aware of how awful he is at this

which makes it more baffling no fuck that I don't really want to up bit prices on stickers we already don't have a lot of people that jump in on Twitch to do that stuff anyway I don't want to make it

more expensive for them plus everything else's price is going up and I'm like fuck it I'm not going to do that I'm doing the same dog shit job I've been doing for the last two years why should it cost them more

great question it's just a simple rule be nice about it this show is so fucking low effort it's enraging that every asshole just hops on YouTube and just like

yeah I had an appointment yesterday lost my checkbook give me money I need money now right can I have some money Again it's very it's very similar to Chad Zumach show

but at least yeah Johnny is wheelchair bound and doing nothing. Yeah, he has a better excuse than Chad does. Yeah, God hates him a little more than Chad Zumach, apparently. Where are we going next, Jody? Okay. Sage advice, clip four, this was a very, like, sometimes I think we get carried away and we don't hear the things that come out of our mouth when we say them.

There's just no, you hear him say, oh, this is dog shit. So he's aware. And then he says some shit like this, not 10 minutes later. And you go, do you hear yourself? I did you even put it on the internet If you know it's going to get received Like a bag of shit Then don't put it on the internet

Like that's you have the option Like I feel like society does not understand Anymore You guys You have the option to not post this stuff Yes Correct Jaddy Well well said

I gotta tell you Jody you guys were going back and forth In our Discord in the review suggestions channel I appreciate people going in there And giving me review suggestions, except for Michael Gavin Ali. Yours all stink.

But you go in there and you were talking about, can anyone even find this show? They talk about it on Silto, but it's impossible to find. You would never know. The channel name is Johnny Kay. The show is the Game Over podcast. It's very difficult. Dude, when I went in there, the whole plan was, I remember Aaron was bitching because you stopped talking about him.

And I said, you know what? Wouldn't it be funny to turn him into a cuck again and we'll get his best friend Johnny. will shit on him and then he'll be like oh dang it they're not talking about me no more thank you to robo shit stain mcnuggets 9000 yeah fuck you for showing this to me the next time i ask for something like this just lie to me please because yeah robo's just like yeah no he doesn't do a show anymore it's gone this was a waste of time bro i was so mad at myself for this it's it's pretty bad uh what other clips do you have oh we have a game coming out too jody put together a is a gay game for us i managed to hammered

a little bit of fun out of this. I'm hoping that will be the big finish. I did have a couple attempts at jokes. Would you give me clip number five? This is him completely missing a joke, Carl. Yeah, again, just the most low effort shit with this guy. Can I pre-book? Can I, like, reserve?

Can I have a, like, a toilet on reserve? At exactly this time, I'd like to come take a shit. Can I scan the QR code and set it for tomorrow? because I'll be back here and I'm going to eat the Chinese place over there. And I know that's going to give me the shit. Get it. Like, so come on. That's all I'm saying.

Can I book it early? You know, like it'd be an Airbnb. What would be a, it's being an Airbnb? Oh. What's the D stand for? Yeah, what is he talking about? It's air, poo, and pee. Air poo and P.

Errude. What are you doing? What is the B&B? That's not it. What did he mean? mean by that. Ump, maybe,

Airbnb, deuce. Jesus Christ, he didn't use that word once going into it. He talked about having a topic. Carl,

it was a topic you could really sink your teeth into it was talking about in Seattle. Fuck you. These expensive porter potty's that you'd like scan to open and they only give you

10 minutes. So the comments where at least smart enough to go, what happens after 10 minutes? Do they set you on fire? Do they eject you at the top? Nope.

Do they make you eat it? That would be great. They just shoot it right back up. Nobody makes Carl eat it. I'll take care of that myself. Thank you very much. He had to give up his stand-up comedy career. Yeah.

Poor guy. I mean, come on now. Honestly, guys do comedy from wheelchairs, and the audience is very forgiving. If anything, he would do better now than when he was, like, on crutches, right? Oh, yeah, for sure.

I just Googled. I just did a quick Google of his actual name from the GoFundMe and stand-up comedy. The only references anywhere on the internet to him doing stand-up comedy are on his GoFundMe. Oh, Jesus. Okay. Those are the only references it told. Well, I did hear his act from one of the recent Steeltoe anniversary shows at Stonies. He does have like an act, but it's not great.

It's better than Gino. He's really good. Better than Keanu, but I don't know that. this is them just reading the chat because that's what this show is. Do you have a video of a giant soccer ball causing... What? Do I... Who?

A giant soccer ball causing traffic. I thought it was a big soccer ball when I'd seen it. I don't know. I don't have a video. I don't know that I care. Ukraine is still fighting Russia. What is this? He's reading a chat.

He doesn't know what it means. He mumbles it. mumbles it, tries to decide for himself. And he goes, I don't care about that. Then why'd you read it? What do you just have a conversation with your friends? Is that what the show is? How is he supposed to know he doesn't care until he reads it to himself?

And it decides he doesn't care anymore. Well, there also is some political commentary that's pretty brilliant. That is coming from the chat once again. Peace like trying to play, don't break the ice. And your brother comes in and smashes the center brick and the whole thing collapses. Israel is the little brother. Pretty much. Pretty much.

Yeah. Yeah. Good stuff. God dang Jews. Missy B is happy. She's at the chat. She's happy. You just said that.

This guy's a total downer. I don't know who would want to watch the show or give him money. Spend three and a half hours with this asshole. I feel like if you're going to do a show, you should be likable. You should either give information or make people happy, put him in a good mood, something like that, right? This fucking guy. It's just woe is me.

It turns out, hey, hey, don't worry, buddy. That brain damage is on the comeback. So there's where it goes. And then I got to find out, but my medical insurance doesn't cover my medication. So now we're working on that. Whole bunches of fun stuff the last few days. I would have been so great to be around yesterday. Why didn't I do a show?

You're not fun ever. Oh, were you in a bad mood yesterday? Johnny, you don't say. Even Eric's just like this fucking Eeyore coming into my fucking show, sucking all the energy out of it. It's like, yeah, this guy sucks. Took the words out of my mouth, Carl. He's just the fucking worst. I don't know why someone would see this show and be like, I want that guy to be my co-host.

So hearing him solo with my version, like, it was weird to see him scramble and have there, like there was no real thoughts, no jokes. I had like two hot takes. And one of them I didn't clip because it's about sports and I can get into that a little bit later. But the other one I did clip was about the video game duck hunt. Remember that on the Nintendo? I do remember duck hunt. Do you want to hear Johnny Crutches when he's being passionate? Yeah.

Clip number two. Oh, I want a duck hunt remaster. And in the new game, the dog is targetable. He's another one of his assholes with the fucking applause. Holy shit. There is something wrong with people who have to play applause throughout their show. As if, like, people are going nuts. It's like he needs that dopamine.

People are going nuts for what I just said. Aaron does it all show long and this idiot does it too. Good stuff. All right. All right, Cardiff. Remember that game, Duck Hunt, Carl? I sure do. I used to be able to hold the gun, but I can't anymore.

Now he just shoots himself in the feet. Now I just watch Duck Hunt videos, Carl. Now let me be clear. I do not advise physical violence against animals in basically any situation other than self-defense. Okay.

Whatever that means. That being said, I want to shoot the shit out of that fucking duck hunt dog. Like, okay, I want to play the duck hunt game, which apparently it's okay to shoot the birds, but the dog's off limits. Why the fuck is that?

And that stupid he-he-he-he laughed. Like, that is a dog begging to get like just a full barrel of bird shot right in the fucking nuts. You know, it's funny. Before he even got to his stupid punchline in the chat, S7232S, it's annoying the dog. Lasty you're losing it. Am I right, people?

Like, that's literally what his joke was. Ah, we should be able to shoot that dog. He's teasing us for missing the dog. Can I explain to Johnny Crutches why the dog is necessary? Why you wouldn't want to shoot the dog in duck hunt? Please explain. No. You're not?

Listen, man, there's a generation of people multiple now who don't understand what it's like to get laughed at because you suck. Which is what we do here on a weekly basis. We come here, we say, hey, you're fucking idiot. You're terrible with this. You should do a little better. The dog is the same thing. Don't shoot the dog. Be happy he's there to let you know that you suck so you can do better.

You know what it is? Nintendo's smart. They're like, the more people are chucking their controllers at the TV, the more extra controllers we can sell. Yeah, and TVs. It's really antagonize them. Let's just have a big thing. You fucking suck when you lose the game.

Too bad. Yep. what, wamp. All right, where are we going next, Jody? This is a moment that I actually enjoyed from the show. It doesn't really have anything to do with Johnny Crutches. Apparently, vanilla ice thinks Johnny Crutches sucks, too. Vanilla Ice thinks Johnny Crutches sucks?

That's what I heard. Wow, all right. And is this an Air Jordan hat or is that like some sort of vanilla ice cap? Either. Vanilla ice cap. Nice. Nice. Ice, baby.

Indeed. Or in kind of bringing. Ice isn't wrong. Johnny sucks his lab class. No, don't do that. And he sang along. He did another one earlier. He did, somebody said banana ball.

I don't know if you guys are familiar. We can talk about that. But he did the Monomana thing. The banana ball. No, no, no. He did the whole fucking thing. Jesus Christ. Be more funny.

You're killing me, bro. So this show is brutal. and I don't know why he puts himself through this. Making 50 bucks a week, is it helping him? Is he got like government assistance or something? He should. I mean, he should be. Yeah, I think he is.

Like the 50 bucks he gets a steel tow or the 50 bucks he does doing this, stop embarrassing yourself. Do a show, but don't beg for money. Do whatever you want, but asking the- He goes on every day? No, he's on, how often do you think, Jody? I think it's Monday through Friday? Oh, shit, he is out every day.

I don't think he does weekends, but I'm sure it's money through Friday. Fuck, man. You know, and he's probably just like, well, Aaron does two shows a day. I'm only doing that one three and a half hour long. It's just too much. It's too much, Jody. I'm only charging $50. It's such a better deal, right?

These fucking people who don't experience life in any way so that like going to the post office losing your checkbook is like the main story for your show for the first 30 minutes. It's like, you're boring. You're not an interesting person. You don't do anything. Maybe digger's cool. I don't know a lot about Digger. We know she's a little racist.

That's pretty cool. That's fun. Yeah. But, you know, those Canadians, they're like that. I've only got like a couple more clips if you want me to run it out, Carl. Yeah, let's do it. Number eight, Johnny Crutches, he got a fever, Carl. Oh, yeah?

Is it World Cup fever? No, that's what I got, baby. Let's go Germany. STC. Poor, subscribing to the channel for 20 months. Thank you so much. STC Porte. Let's roll a little cowbell for you. We've had a lot of fabulous support today, and we're already on our Friday

goals. Let's do a little cowbell for you. Cowbell for STC. Porch coming out in 3-2 move. Thank you very much. Oh, hell no. Those things are heavy. Real cowbell. That's the most effort he put into the whole show, Carl. Is this like his PPP with the triangle thing? Is that what he's trying to pull off here? Is that entertaining for people? to hear the cowbell? It's the point of this. It wasn't for me, Carl. If that's what you're asking.

What's the point of this? These fucking people who just have stupid bells and whistles and just think like, hey, guys, give me on the. It's like, all right. All right. All right. All right. So we do a props over here.

Never mind. Yeah, fair enough. Yeah, maybe we're all on the wrong side. All right. If someone who can give me 20 bucks, I'll play the slide whistle some more. 20 bucks for a slide whistle. Yeah. I'll give you a 50.

to play the skin flu. Jesus Christ, Jody. Can we talk about this after the show? Can you hit on me after the show, please? That's three and a half hours of Johnny Crutch's time right there. You have one more clip on here, I believe. Yeah, I thought you would love this, man. It's towards the very end.

Like I said, I don't know if he did Steeletoe earlier this day. Like, I'm not sure where the time falls. Yeah. I'm sure he's been podcasting for at least seven hours at this point. Oh, God. And somebody needs a mandolin and a mom wife. You know what I'm saying? I hear what you're saying, buddy.

Okay, so how much time? Yeah, 45 minutes. All right. If you can't. Yeah, this is two hours and 42 minutes and do a three and a half hour long show. And he's fading fast here. But did you hear him?

Like how much time we got left? 45 minutes. He thinks he's punching a clock. He thinks he's a radio host like Aaron. Yeah. You got a shift to fill. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He only punched it because he was trying to turn it off.

But Cardiff, the affiliate. won't have programming if he just goes off the air. It can't have dead air on Rumble. Think about the affiliates. What does Mr. Q's didgeridoo is going to say about this? If you can't tell, I'm falling to sleep. It's getting rough. You basically...

We're all falling asleep, Johnny. Your show is very boring. It's very, very boring. One more clip I have on here, and this is 27 minutes into the show. Yeah. Lexi says don't start the show on my account. Well, people are asking what happened yesterday. why we weren't on and how the appointments in the previous days went.

And the answer to that question is the previous week's appointments or the previous appointments during the week, whatever you want to call it, are they went so, so. And then yesterday went really bad in terms of I made a stupid mistake and I paid for it for the rest of the day in a variety of ways. In some cases, financially, I have to order a new checkbook. and all that stuff. Holy shit,

we're resetting that story a half an hour into the show and you're like, oh, you're just joining us. Let me tell you what's going on. Start the show, asshole. Do something. Traffic, weather, and checkbook on the 8th.

Please, give me an update on that checkbook again. I'm not hearing enough about it. All right, are you ready to play? Is it gay? Oh, yeah. The question is, are you two people ready to play? Is it gay?

Is it weird or is it gay? What will letters say today? Is this game? All right, I guess that song doesn't actually work for this, because it's not Aaron. Listen, Carl, you already know the rules to this game. We're going to take a little clip here, and we're going to see how far the apple falls from the tree if you catch my drift, because he's already ripped Aaron a few times. He did the Rumble Rant PayPal dollars, you know, thing in the beginning. He did a lot of Aaronisms through this.

And so I thought it would only be fitting if we tried to play around with him. So my clip number one. Carl was about banana ball. Because again, baseball, it's like, hey, your guys' sports just, just kind of lame. We like that you did the whole thing and we want, yeah, right, right, right. But it's just, it's kind of, it's kind of lame. If we could just kind of tighten this up a bit, just maybe make it a little less.

Pause it. A little less. Now, Banana ball, if you're not familiar, Carl, I watched the game last night. It was enthralling. I hate sports, people. I love sports, okay, but I don't like super fans. They watch all the shit. I think baseball is one of the worst goddamn sports I've ever had to sit through.

The two-hour time limit sold me on banana ball. There's so many stupid fucking rules with the sport. But me and my wife sat down half-lit last night and watched, I don't know, a half a game of banana baseball, and it might be my favorite thing ever. Kurt, if you're a big baseball fan, do you know what banana baseball is? Yeah, the Savannah bananas. Okay. It's performing.

It's like wrestling and baseball. Harlem Globetrotters shit. But it's real. They're still playing, but there's, there's points, extra points for stunt catches and Yeah, there's all these flicks and stuff. If you bunt, you get thrown out of the game. I thought that was pretty funny. They sell out Yankee Stadium.

They sell out like big baseball stadiums. They're on you. It's, it's interesting. It's not obviously traditional baseball, but it's interesting. So Johnny Crutches is a purist when it comes to baseball. So in this case, he's saying the banana's baseball is a slap in the face to regular baseball. And he says here, would you make it just a.

little less. Dot, dot, dot, dot. Carl, is it gay? I'm going gay on this one, Jody. What do you got, Cardiff? Gay or not gay? All right. Let's find out.

Let's see. Not shitty, and that's what we're going for. Oh. God damn it. Cardiff, you get a pint, my friend. All right. I got to come back now. I've got to come back from this.

Yeah, you guys are so good at this. All right. The second clip. Clip number two. lactation Apparently University of Minnesota reports Peer for wanting to say mothers instead of lactating

individuals in grant proposals which is weird for a couple of reasons now firstly I found out that with the right kind of drugs and hormones I guess dudes can lactate which is fucked up that's really messed up but apparently that can be a thing lactation dude nipples squeezing out milk Cardiff. Gay or not gay?

That's gay. Carl? That is so gay. Hell yeah, dude. All right, let's go. See what Johnny Crutches say. And so, okay. Weird.

Oh, no. So in a weird way. Hold on a second. Jody, this game sucks. He doesn't call anything gay? Oh, this game sucks and swallows, Carl. But that would be gay. It would be gay.

Johnny Crutches apparently is not gay. So far. Final round, I got to score a point here in order to tie Cardiff's the best I can do. Now, one point that I would like to make, I noticed. You hear it. The hype train. How about the hype train, Cardiff? How many people has ripped that off at this point?

Yeah, they all stole it from Chad Zubak. It's crazy. Yeah. Johnny Crutch's hype train has a handicap ramp. You know what I'm saying? Somebody in the comment section makes a comment about the train song. So let's see. We'll give it a pause.

Okay. Getting closer. It's hard to do a hoot, as some would say, and then have the smoke to blow it. Ring like a little poof. It's not easy. It's not easy. Welcome to the show. Brian, thank you for launching that.

I've trade now 26% of the way through level one. I'm going to put this over here you might have missed it Brian I was saying earlier that we're we're so ready for the gay train is here oh the gay train is here Carl you heard that song it was a lot longer but I didn't want to get you hit with a YouTube strike thank you so do you think the theme song for the hype trained

gay or not gay Carl something better to be gay or else this game sucks I'm going gay on this one. Carl's going gay. Cardiff, what do you think? I think the gay train is gay. Okay. It's not the gay train. It's the theme song for the gay train. But okay, here we go.

It has to be. I mean, kind of. It's a little gay, I guess. All right. It's a little gay. So it's still gay. Even a little gay is gay in my book, Carl. He can't be totally locked in on it, but he does claim that it's a little gay at least. Did you guys tie?

No, I lost it. Now Cardiff wins 2 to 1. Oh, yeah. I didn't even need producer Chris keeping score for me to track that one. Jesus Christ, man. Hearns 55. When do you think Senator John is coming back to YouTube? Tomorrow, he would have got the YouTube money for May.

He can't be making much from his pensions. No, he's not making anything from his pensions. He didn't work that long. And he took them out seven years before he was supposed to. Way to. Yeah, dude. It's ridiculous. It's a pretty healthy deduction you get from taking a shit out early.

Is he at 90 days? yet since he's been gone. No, no, April 30th. Okay. We got a way to go. Yeah, he's got time. BR. Greg, this dork makes me miss Crippled Jesus. Hi, I'm Cripple Jesus, and you're listening to Who Are These Podcast?

I miss Cripple Jesus, too. He came to our first ever live show outside of Chicago, and he was the star of that show. Everyone wanted to talk to Cripple Jesus. His wheelchair gets stuck on the doorframe or something. They had to go push him over? Yep. Yeah. It was a little burn out.

But he tracked in all that diarrhea. All right. Cardiff, I was watching you this morning on Be Dabbling Live. I'm sorry. Sorry for that, Carl. And I heard you say something that caught my attention. The cringe of the week? You said that Doom is battling me right now?

Well, Doom is after you. Doom is after me? Doom is after you. What happened? Is Doom Emily? Doom is upset, I believe. leave that Dabbleverse Live is just covering all the same old

Dabbleverse Lowell Cows. Doom was promised a look into some of the smaller Dabbleverse players on Dabbleverse Live. And he says you've sold out Carl. Sold out now. Did I say we cover the smaller players? I'm trying to cover the important news in the Dabelverse. That's the whole point of it. That's why... It was the stuff you didn't get to

was what I heard, but... Oh, stuff I didn't get to. Well, maybe Dume should should I'll produce the show that. I'd welcome that. I could use a hand because blind mic says to be like two clips it's like all right now fill out the rest of the two hours car like okay don't don't get me started on working with that fucking zilch that lazy crippling stuff yeah just because you can't see doesn't mean you can't work as right guys I'm still blind what else you want to talk about all right jody every day if you come on the show you love to check out what's going on on unpurified the rambling of a black queer Christian.

What's the name of this host? Jayama. Gai Emma. God damn, I can never pronounce that right. Okay, Jiamma. You better remember her name

because the last time I brought her she wanted to kill you. That's right. I forgot about that. Let me just read the description of the show to get everyone on the same page here. This podcast is hosted by Jiamma,

a black, non-binary, panromantic, demisexual Christian. A motho, I know. Imagine living at L.O.L. But your boners away. And their thoughts on whatever they feel like talking about, which mostly include their daily life dealing with schizophrenia and their romantic relationship with Jesus Christ.

Yes. This is the woman who was dating Jesus. She's married to Jesus. She's the bride of Christ. Yes. So what's going on this week? And of course, there's no video. We don't know what this woman looks like.

It's just we can guess. She was the big black lady with the teeny tiny microphone. Oh, okay. Yeah, I was looking for her to grab a photo of it. I couldn't find it. But yeah, I forgot. We didn't see that. Oh, that's okay.

You can use your ears. You can figure out what she looks like. Yeah. Anyway, so it's very interesting to me over the years of listening to you covered these different folks that come in and out. And they develop the character arch of most of these fucking people all go the same direction. And wouldn't you know what I threw this episode on? And Mama's got a brand new hustle, Carl, clip one. Hello.

My name is Jayaima. And you're listening to Unpurified, The Ramblings, of a black queer Christian. For today's episode, I am here to promote a new thing that I have put out on the website. So for all the people who have always wanted to talk to me, because you know I keep my comments off, all the people who want to talk to me,

today is your day. Today is your day, if you want to talk to me, I have now started to do life coaching. And, you know, if you have any question for God that you feel like hasn't been answered, you have any difficult spiritual questions that you need answering, if you want a prophetic word, if you want guidance that's LGBTQ plus affirming, I'm your gal. I'm your gal.

Was she watching Jerry Banfield? That's a terrible idea. Why would she think she can coach people? It's so fucking crazy to me when I hear losers and tell me how to live. I go, I've listened to your other episodes. You shouldn't be giving anybody advice right now, lady. She claims she's schizophrenic.

She claims it in this episode, actually. What the fuck would I want to have a one-on-one with her? That's a terrible idea. Dooms pay as here in the chat says, Damover's line needs help. Hit me up, Carl. I will doom. Hell yeah.

Because I could use help with that. That'd be great. Look at the show for the people, Carl. They'll come paying all the dooms. All right. I appreciate that, doom. Let's stop our feuding right now. Let's put that to rest.

I love that. That's not a problem you want to have. You don't want that kind of smoke, Carl. I can't take that heat, man. I already got Emily on my ass. I can't have another bitch in the devilverse. Fuck it with me. It's too much.

I have a clip here that just made me laugh because so far, I've learned that Rethards enjoy trains. Whether it's the hype train or the real train or whatever, they always see it come back. They come back around the trains. It's the clip number two, Carl. All the retards love it. Clip number two.

I'm here to talk to you. So if you want any of those things, that's what I'm releasing now. And it's something I'm doing for the time being. And I'm doing it as long as I feel like it. So hop on the train. And get with it. Get with it, guys. If you want to talk to me, if you have questions,

if you have questions about anything I've ever placed on the blog, you can talk to me. No one's listening to the show, right? I'd rather hop on a train to Auschwitz, to be honest with you, dude. Why are you going to work? Yeah, probably. You got to do a shift? Yeah, I got to put it in my 12.

Who is listening to this show? There's no one listening to this. It's so funny. She's just like, all right, everyone's been wanting to talk to me directly. I'm going to let them do that now. I have to imagine that there are bots or something. Like YouTube is real bad about this. Other places like SoundCloud and some of the other podcast host platforms used to be,

like three of the pity downloads, you know? It's like all your downloads are from India. Surely they're listening to your podcast all over in Bangladesh. But I feel like it does something to people where they just think it this false hope and they're just, they think that they're getting these interactions that they're really not, man. And then they're willing to put to bet everything on that. put all your eggs in that basket.

I'm just like, baby girl. You should not do that. Years ago. This has to go back to like 2016, I think. Ween was playing three nights in Manhattan. And I went to see one of the shows. I was listening to this Ween podcast, this guy hosted. And he's like, guys, I have a ticket for Saturday night show.

If you, you know, send me an email. I'm going to pick a winner that's going to get this ticket to the show, blah, blah, blah. He comes back next week. He's like, I guess I'm not as popular as I thought I was. I got zero emails. No one was looking for a free ticket. to the weed cats.

I was like, yeah, no one's listening to the show, man. What are you doing? Yep. That's why I'm

never started a Patreon because I don't need that kick in the nuts every month to know. Oh, cool. My mom subscribed. Anybody else? Absolutely not.

There's a local guy. I actually had him on WTP years ago. There's a local guy who had a show called Hate this podcast. Sure. And they started the Patreon

and then one supporter and it was Vinnie Paulino. Yeah, he never had more than one paid subscriber. But he was just doing it to fuck with them. I get that. that.

Yeah. Look, so in the process of her talking about her new life coachedness, I did think it was funny. Would you like to hear her expertise? This is Carl? I do. Yes. But I just wanted to advertise the life coaching. I wanted you guys to see what I do.

I want you guys to see because there's so many, like, I put a bunch of information about, like, the stuff I specialize in, the stuff I, um, Actually, you know, we can go through all that. Okay. So if you want to get into like what some of my areas of expertise are. Yes. When it comes to life coaching, my area expertise is discerning what God is speaking to you about. I am so good at that.

I am very good at that. So if you don't know what God is saying to you today, that is one of the biggest things I'm good about. I'm also good at answering difficult spiritual questions. Finishing sandwiches. So she's a schizophrenic who thinks that God's talking to everyone. Sure. And then she has to translate because apparently God doesn't speak fucking English. No, God's, uh, he's only asking things in riddle form.

You have to solve the puzzle. He's like a leprechaun? Yeah. It's a whole fucking thing. He's a troll and a bridge. Jesus Christ. Hickory. No.

That's pretty good. Dude, her fucking laugh is, I forgot that she, like, what was threatening my life and what wants to harm me. That laugh is menacing. I might not sleep tonight. There's a lot of other laughter to come. And not just because of the cocaine that I use, but also because this is going to terrorize me.

I hope she keeps you up at night, dude. A lot of things. So along with her expertise, I thought it would be fun to include her qualifications. Because, hey, man, if you're going to put on this kind of a show or some kind of an advertisement, it's always good to know that you are actually qualified to do these kind of things, right? Right. So if you want to know some of my qualifications, we'll say that, we'll say some of my qualifications. I have my associate's degree in social sciences.

Oh, no. I have my bachelor's degree in sociology with a minor in women's studies. Okay, hold a second. You don't say you have an associate's degree once you get your bachelor's degree. You can throw that one right away. Yeah, I kind of don't count no more. Yeah, but when your bachelor's is in women's studies, though, Carl. Yeah, right.

I mean, I did take a real course at one point. Okay. I love studying women. Oh. I have spent seven years as a patient in therapy going faithfully twice a week. I've spent 22 years. Oh, every year. patient in therapy

thinks they're a therapist. This is the fucking Howard Stern syndrome right here. 100% dude. You don't go to a cancer patient if you have cancer. Right. You went through the treatment? What should I do? Whatever the doctor tells you to?

Oh, I should ask you that. Try not having cancer, stupid. Yeah, do better. Being a follower of Christ, Jesus Christ, of Nazareth. Yes. 22 years. Basically my whole life.

I have a queer From the ministry As I don't know From those podcasts For six years Started that for six years ago With a website An app a podcast, a blog

And various social medias So I've also been diagnosed with schizophrenia So I know what it's like to be mentally ill And Christian I am also LGBTQ plus So I know what it's like to be queer and Christian And to struggle with that and to ex-god

to help me accept myself for who I am. Let me pause it real quick. So her target audience is schizophrenics who are queer and are Christian. Yeah, dude. Not a big audience.

I'm just going to throw that out there. I think you're wrong, Carl. I think you're wrong. It's a big country. I have been there, done that in terms of that. So,

yeah, those are all the qualifications that I have. I am truly here to help you. I am an empathetic and great listener. Many people describe me as that. Many people reach out to me and ask me for advice. All the people, they say, I'm the best.

Best there. I've never been described as a great listener. That's a weird compliment to get. Yeah, Carl, you just fucking sit there like a lump on a log as I chat at you. Cool. Again, as far as these life coaches go, she's just as just as listening to her ramble off her qualifications just as qualified as

tony robbins and his 375 million businesses that he claims to have or jerry banfield for that that man or jerry band the same boat and they're all the same fucking i hard disagree tony robins is very successful well he's successful at it but i still think it's a load of shit yeah but at least if a guy's like a multi-millionaire and famous you could be like oh i want to be like this person this is just some fucking weird fat black lady Fixed she married Jesus Christ. It's lucky to draw, Carl. She's going to tell you how to do it too, Carl.

All right. We don't have to do number five because she already talked about having to translate for you for Jesus. Do number six. It is just a fun play on words that when she said it, I go, I don't think that happened. With people who are hidden. People who are hidden by God. Hidden. I know what that's like.

I've been hidden my whole life. I can help with people who have been chosen by God. Yeah, what's she saying? Yeah, you've never been hidden a day in your life, Chima. Are you out of your fucking mind? I can help the people who have been chosen by God, such as people who are breaking generational curses,

being ostracized by your family, not having any friends. I can help you with that. Oh, no. Are you going to take my friends? What the fuck? Why would I ask you how to not have friends? That sucks.

Right. So again, this is one of these fucking lonely losers who's looking for other lonely losers. They're just like, hey, do you want to like have a conversation? And rather than just say that, like, hey, I'm just lonely. I need friends. Just be like, I'm a life coach. Yes. And we can chat about how I'm queer and love Jesus and stuff.

There's a drop. Sure is. Clip number seven was funny because it's like she actually comes at it like, I'm a genuine person. And then does a fucking Patrick Michael 1A.8. at the end of it, dude. I'm going to place the link for life coaching in the, in the bio. Link in bio. Yeah, this is something new I'm doing.

I really want to help people. That's really the main reason I'm doing it. I really want to help people. I feel like I have so much knowledge. I have so much knowledge for so many things. As y'all know, I have so many podcast episodes on such a variety. of topics and I love talking about Jesus. And it's like, why not share that you for the world?

You like talking about Jesus. I like talking about Jesus. Let's talk about Jesus together. Oh, okay. A wide range of topics that it can go over, but also just Jesus. That's the thing that she knows. Extra wide range. That's what we do here, Carl.

Although I do tune into her for her hockey sports show that she does. It's actually pretty enthralling. Good a Dallas. Black people watch hockey. Coming soon to CBS. Black queers watching hockey. All right. Now, this is a joke that I'm going to go to hell for.

But I'm going to go ahead and let it rip, Carl. Number eight. Let's see if my son wants to speak. You want to speak, Onix? Onix. Yeah. He's just looking at the mic. He doesn't want to speak today for once.

Usually he's a chatty boy. Can I, can you pause? He loves to talk on the podcast. It's almost over, yeah. But is Onyx a cat? Oh, I don't think about that. I think it's a cat because that reminded me. I was getting the Fez-Watley vibes when Fez-Wrushed.

Say cookie. Fuck, dude. Because I was going to say, I was going to say she has a kid, clearly. Do you think she named it after the rap group or the fucking Pokemon? Definitely the rap group. We'll see. What was the guy's name? Is the sticky fingers?

Sticky fingers was in Attics? Blam. Unless you got five sticky fingers, it's an imitation. A fragment of your imagination. Keep rapping, Carl. Special K. Hey. But it gets worse.

All right. Where are we going next? I got two clips left. Number nine is my disclaimer officially from Giamma about how she is not in fact a licensed therapist. Good to know. Good to know. My goal is not to replace a therapist.

Okay, that's not what my goal is. I am not licensed to give mental health advice. However, I do want to work with you and be on your team of specialists, your team of people who talk to you, your team of helpers to help you in life. That's what I want to do. So I got to fucking talk to her and a bunch of other lunatics too. Is that what I'm signing up for? I think R. Kelly was a therapist. they're a piss

all right so I see what you did there you're welcome because he peter that underage girl you get it isn't that weird

that that video went around everywhere like the 14 year old girl getting pissed on that's got to be highly illegal right I learned about it on the Chappelle show

I didn't even know that was a real thing until he said it so look I know what you're all thinking now because you've heard the spiel

you've heard the ups the downs the qualifications yep you're probably asking yourself I want to talk to Jamama

uh how much How much do it cost? How much do it cost to talk to G or about Jesus with Giama? All right, let's find out. Want to take a guess? So that's what I'm doing. $49 a month.

Yeah, it's a pretty good guess. What is Banfield charging now? Did he say it's like 60 bucks a month? It's 49 a month for Banfield. That's why I can't read that. It's more than fucking Netflix. Yep. Yeah.

So that's what I'm doing. This whole thing is just strictly advertisement. Just so y'all know. going on because people say I don't advertise enough I don't tell people what's going on with stuff I'm trying to get the word out that's the biggest complaint I get too I don't advertise enough yeah I don't tell enough people about this right I am doing life coaching please sign up it's only $60 an hour right now $60 and I've seen like oh my gosh I've seen other people I've tried to like book with other people and their stuff is like

$200, $300 an hour. I was like, oh my gosh. Maybe they're qualified. Maybe that's why. Yeah, that's called BetterHelp.com. And yes, they charge $300 an hour, but those are licensed therapists. Now, they might be in Mumbai or some shit, but like, it is a person with a blow, I give piano lessons for $20 a half an hour.

Now, I can't play piano worth shit, but there's other people charge it in $200. It's crazy. Oh, I swear to God, I'm studying, John. Starts doing guitar lessons that would make my fucking life. would rule. Someone give them that. Ditka, tell John to give guitar lessons. That's a G-flat.

So I knew when I started mine, I was like, I wanted to be affordable. I wanted to be affordable. So I was like, you know, if people want to talk to me, come on bye. Come on bye, guys. I don't bite. I don't bite. Keep it with you, Carl. the rest of the night she don't bite

people might pay $60 an hour to get bitten I do have 60 bucks burning a hole in my pocket though so I might have to sign up for this I was going to tell you guys should add it to the wheel on creep off somebody fucks up go do an hour with Giama that is a very good idea

all right I want to check in on a fan favorite here on WATP I love to eat peanut butter I love to eat honey and I also love to eat beans. Beans. I look great. I feel great.

Beans. The great Jerry Banfield is killing it right now. I'm loving the content he's putting out. The return has been amazing. He's back with a Vigit. It's the best version of Jerry ever. And I found it fascinating before. But what's great about what Jerry's doing now is he's got six different YouTube channels.

And you can learn about crypto from him. You can learn about why he feels rich, even though he's $200,000 in debt. And dating advice is another big channel of us. And he's going to talk about how much money he's spending on dating and how he justifies that. I've spent over $10,000 to date online since I got divorced. And I'm still single. Like, I don't even know a girl right now that's interested in me like that. I don't even know.

No one. What a great start to the video. He's showing his receipt back there. He's on this thing called Talkify. That's $7,500. It's just a dating site. I never heard of it before. I looked it out.

But he's on like whatever the premium thing is of that. That's a lot of fucking money. He was trying to get somebody to spit on that thing, Carl. Right. And he's got a dating coach. We know he paid $1,200 to some chick that he's hitting on. He's got Hinge Premium, Hinge Roses, a Bumble premium

$1,000 on dates alone and then Tinder premium. So he's on a lot of different dating sites and not anyone even close to interested to them so far. What's he been on 10 dates? Yeah, something like that. Yeah.

What the fuck is Talkify? That's most of the check there. It's $7,500. $700. It's supposed to be like this. Bumble or hinge or it's just a dating service where they hook you up with sluts? Well, so Talkify is

God, what was that one back in the day that I don't hear advertised anymore, but it was like they go through your personality traits and they finally... Barbara Madison or whatever? No, no, no. Not the one where you hook up with married people, no. Shut up. People have forgotten that existed.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's not talk about the leak, the database leak. Yeah, Billy Madison. That's what it was called. My bad. Ashley Madison. But there was that one dating site where it's like, you give us 50 personality traits, then we match you based on

that with other people. So talk about it. E harmony, right. Talk about it's like that where it's like, you don't go in and swipe right or left or whatever. It's more matchmaking than scientific. I see. Exactly.

Exactly. And I'm, here's what I've spent it on. And yet this has been so worth it because I've gotten to know myself. Because I've been having fun. And I literally borrowed all of this on credit. Unfortunately, women have gotten to know you as well.

That's why they're not calling you back. I've got to know myself. I'm a loser. It turns out I'm unlikable. Holy shit. I spent $10,000 on dating this year. I have nothing to show for it. But the good news is I have to pay it back with interest.

Listen, Craig. Pretend for a moment that you're a woman, Carl. Yep. Could you imagine you're getting a date invite from Jerry Banfield here and you read through the thing and you go, you don't know how crazy he is? And you just go, I'm going to Google this guy just to make sure he's not a serial rapist murderer. Yep. And you type in.

Jerry Banfield to the fucking Google search and it's just of insanity dude. You should spend money to wipe your fucking internet history for the old stuff Jerry. Well, that's the thing. It's like if you find his dating YouTube channel, you watch shit like this and you're like, oh,

I don't want nothing to do with this guy. This guy's a fucking lunatic. He also wrote a book called My Future Wife where he wrote a book to his future wife saying, hey, I haven't met you yet, but we're going to be married and have two kids. It's like, you're a fucking Psycho.

The girls are not turned out by this. I literally put this on credit cards and I'm paying. I'm on a fixed payment plan with one, just balance transferred, another one. Like, I literally put this on credit cards. Oh, no. Balance transferred. So he's just, he's in his own Ponzi scheme by himself. God damn it, dude.

This is not good. And so a lot of you think. Right. Yes. Don't use American Express. Those guys will take it right to court. He needs to be. the fucking chance Zumont playing and start swiping

fucking cards out of the gym. Dude, we got to get him on Caleb Hammer. Would that financial audit? Would that be fucking awesome? I think so I'm kind of off the boat on Caleb Hammer after I saw him on Rogan. Like he pretty much revealed that a lot of the spectacle is horseshit. Like it's all

planned and they have to say it's okay. It's Jerry Springer. Yeah. He would lose his mind on Jerry Banfield because he would think that Jerry is kidding. It's a bit. It's not a bit, dude. It's not a bit. It's real. A lot of you think that's crazy. Why would you do that? Because I want to get to know myself.

Because having, I'm looking for a second wife. I'm looking for a second wife. I have a first wife and two kids from that marriage. I want another wife and at least two more kids from the second marriage. I mean, his mentality is way off. First off, women don't like to be referred to as my second wife. That implies there's going to be a third of the fourth potentially. You know, it's like Bob Levy talk.

My second wife, she was a bitch. Trust me, if somebody did marriage, him again. They would love to be called his second wife. Or slam piece, whatever fucking man says. Also, this is an whole idea that he's already got in his mind. He's going to start a family with this woman. They have two more

kids. Pull it out, dude. You don't need to be in there. Have a kid with Jerry Banfield. That's crazy talk. That's what I want. And by all these girls, I've went, well, women, my neighbor said, say women from now on, not girls. You're going out with women as old as 57, which I'm not going to

do again, because I've tested all these things, and I see clearly, I want a healthy woman that wants to have kids with me and will support my business. Well, 57 is not going to do that. Oh, you're going to have them, but they're going to have like club feet and buck teeth. Exactly.

A little hard to pump two kids and a little push. Yeah, that's a race. As much as I'm trying, Cardiff, as much as I'm trying. Oh, sorry. Sorry, girl. Because if I'm with the right woman, I will make 10, 20, 30,000. a month in my business online.

If I'm with a woman that wants to make videos with me, that loves my videos, that watches my videos that's proud of me, this will pay for itself. Oh, he wants an only fans model. That's what it sounds like. That's who he wants to marry. He tried playing video games with the first wife,

and that was boring as shit. Yeah. He doesn't... We're a bad-looking gal either, car. You remember... I remember... I remember... Yeah. She was cute.

I remember... Wow. Yeah. Now, almost everybody said, and man, you quit. Just quit. We've seen his first wife? Yeah, yeah.

She used to create a content. I don't remember that. Yeah. She's a blonde gal. Kind of look like April M. Halty. Like just kind of a petite blonde gal. She'd sit on the couch and play fucking video games with each other. For itself.

Now, almost everybody said, and man, just quit. Stop, stop making, stop spending money on dating. Stop going out on dates and get your money right. And I'm like,

I love this. This whole personality disorder that he has, where people try to talk sense into him, and it just makes him double and triple down of doing the exact wrong thing. Like, oh, you think that what I'm doing is stupid? Well, guess what? I'm going to do it twice as much.

The defiance disorder or whatever that everybody claims to have. You're just an asshole, I think. I don't listen to people ever. Right. He said no common sense. If everyone's telling you, he says it all the time, everyone's telling you, just get a job and not getting to more debt, not take out loans and how the shit.

People from the bank are saying that, Carl, they're calling and going, would you stop? I need money. No, the right woman will help my business. get inspired. When I met my ex-wife 15 years ago, she inspired me to start on YouTube. And one of the girls I went out with was a content creator. One of the girls I went out with was full-time on Instagram. And literally that day, after deleting all my YouTube channels last year and being burned out, I went out with a girl from Talkify. And she inspired me to create

my YouTube channels that day. I started four new YouTube channels. That day, from scratch, I've now gotten over 300,000 views on all these channels organically combined in under three months. And this girl from Talkify was a critical part of the inspiration. She got me all fired up. Even though she was on Instagram, just talking with her about what she was doing. I'm like, damn, I got to get back in the game. I've got to get.

I'm so good at doing videos. I'm so good at looking at the analytics figuring out what videos to make, clipping, using AI to put the stuff together. And then I've got my community. If you want to be a content creator, I got, if you want my whole lifestyle, join that Jerry Banfield family on Jerry Banfield.com. If you want my lifestyle? Damn it. Jerry, you spent $10,000

trying to date and you haven't gotten your dick wet. No one wants your lifestyle. I hate green screens at this point because I can't tell. Like, I can only imagine he's standing in a fucking McDonald's or like a local library or something doing this shit, just screaming with a shirt on button. He actually recently did a video of his studio.

He gave you the whole breakdown of all of his equipment and the wall behind him is all green, just a giant green wall. Oh, that's for the poros, Carl, so you can have sex wherever you like. The girl I went on on Talkify inspired what it will look like my bills will be paid. I'll make $10,000 plus $1,000 a month,

should easily work up to $20,000 or $30,000 one day and I'll be able to pay for... This guy has no plan. What I love about this guy is he's just trying to manifest shit into the world. He's just like, I'll make $10,000. And you know what? That turns into $30,000. Sure, Cherry.

That's how that works. Why not? I feel like the best thing he could do is fall in love with an accountant at this point, dude. Now, that's not going to last very long, but maybe it'll get him dug out of this hole for a half a second. If they could tell him how to work it out. It wouldn't help. He's not going to listen to that advice. It's only a professional.

They don't know anything. What the fuck do you know about balancing a checkbook? Fuck on. Really nice lifestyle for a healthy woman that has kids with me where we have an awesome lifestyle and she supports my work. And the second talk of my date, who I've never talked to again, I went out with one time and she said she wasn't interested right after that. And I learned, okay, maybe I disclosed a little too much on this date, but also I wasn't interested in her as much because I wasn't as attracted to her. So I intentionally said stuff to try and signal red flags and turn her off. Yeah, that's the ticket.

I don't even want to fuck that bitch I like to imagine at their date They were sitting across the table from each other And as soon as he got into the spiel he stood up And was just talking down to her While she was trying to eat her fucking bread I love to say something else lady You're going to go out with me

And I'm going to put two kids inside you Yeah this woman inspired him To be a content creator again To start he started four YouTube channels After this date And he's like and I wasn't interested in her She wasn't hot enough If she's an Instagram influencer

I'm guessing she's out of his league Yeah she's a gal with tits. Guys aren't Instagram influencers unless we're like eating hot things or like I guess making metal sculptures or some shit shooting guns. Like there's a few

things you can get into, Jerry. Maybe try shooting guns on the internet. Don't aim it at yourself like Jody did. Oh, it's fine. I didn't shoot myself my cousin Shabby. He sucks. Oh, okay. Close enough. I'd hit myself if I aimed. I think investing in dating. I know

a lot of people are beat down in dating and your mind tells you avoid the pain, don't spend money. I realized I started dumping money. Like, I just dropped $200 on Hinge Roses because people, I was thinking, well, I already paid for premium. Yes. I'm throwing everything at the wall and I don't give a fuck anymore. Dude, I thought those were real flowers.

Like, I didn't, I didn't connect the dots that's Hinge premium. That's a thing. So you're paying that. And you paid the same amount of the subscription fee in fake roses? Dude, this guy, when you're. sitting at the marketing meeting for one of these dating sites. This is the guy they put up on the screen. They're like, okay, here's our target audience right here.

This loser. He's divorced two kids. He makes nobody and he's willing to spend anything to get a date. Premium. A lot of people are pre-bankrupt. Right. Pre-bankrupt. This is the guy we want to tell you.

You can call me a hillbilly all you goddamn want to. My credit score is like 814, dog. Fuck off. Wow. I guess I have to tell you that. No one told me there was going to be boasting. Impressive, buddy. Like, oh, I'm not going to pay for features, you know?

It's like, okay, but you're going to sit here alone by yourself and how much would it be worth for you to have some fun with somebody? And I've also got to learn myself so much where I'm like, okay, I know I want, I do not just want to hook up with girls. I want, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. It's just like Ronnie all over again. I like meeting girls. I like meeting guys.

What do you mean? You don't want to just hook up with girls. bankrupt Yeah Damn The fuck is right with this idiots Girl I want one woman

That I love like crazy And I only want to be with her And I don't want any polyamry I don't want any of that other stuff I want Um Gay Gay

Gay I'm going gay with that one On a wife I want kids I want a happy home And I want a thriving business And I want one woman To build a building all that with.

And I'm not saying yes to anyone else. I'll be friendly, sure, but I'm not going to waste my time either with anybody else. You've either got that or I'm not interested. And paying all this has sped up my character development fantastically. If I hadn't paid for these talkify dates, it would have taken me way longer to figure this stuff out. And ironically, paying for these talkified dates and all this stuff on apps, I'm like, you know what?

As much as my mind doesn't want to go cold approach. I'm about to cold approach every woman I can. Okay. God damn. Jerry's into this weird mindset, and I can tell that he knows he's fucking up in life. Because every video is justifying his awful behavior. Yes.

Every two of his business is like, all right, everyone tells me this is fucking crazy. What I'm doing is nuts, and I'm a lunatic, and I'm wasting money in time. But I think it's great. I'm learning stuff.

I'm having fun. No, obviously you know this is all wrong. You're doing all this right. I feel like for 10,000. I could go into a strip club and find a gal who would not only let me put two kids inside her, but also help me rob a bank and not tell the police for 10 grand. Like he's going about this all the wrong ways, man.

Two kids, four fingers, whatever you want going inside her. You're getting the whole fist, baby. Because I can make money, sure, but I can cold approach for free. So I've been cold approaching. I've been just like any garage and talked to. I'm just starting conversations everywhere. And I'm getting to the point where I'm about ready to just go downtown at the pier and start cold approaching women. I've never heard that term before cold approaching.

Just a walk up. Hey, bitch. How are you? It sounds menacing. Yeah, sure. He's going to get the police called on him in 15 minutes. What happened, ma'am? He cold approached me.

All right. You're coming with us, sir. Just see if I can get, you know, a phone number. See what will happen. Who was that guy we used to cover on who are these socials, something 22? Bailin Dupree? There was that... Not Gigi.

No. Adam 22? No, maybe it was 26. Anyway, Oh, the numbers, the numerology guy? No, he had tattoos over his body of like 26. And that was his name or something like that. And he would just go up to girls in Miami and just ask for phone numbers.

Not... Give me 26, huh? That's all he would do. And I'm sure he's still out there doing that. It's a brute force approach. Yes. As many as possible. and one out of a million are going to say yes.

So it's a number's game before someone says yes. It's a numbers game. Boy. And man, this has been a great journey. And I hope this is a story that inspires you. Look, your dating is worth investing in. And if you'd like to invest more in your dating the first place, we go to jerrybanfield.com.

Join the family, baby. Join the family. Go to Jerry Banfield. com. Join the family. Let me get to know you. Post where you're at. Talk about your whole life.

And I'll see you in there. We introduce him the ice dancer. Yes, he should meet ice dancer. That's a really good idea. Pull him all the way into the dabblerverse, dude. Let him meet all the players. I think that's actually, it makes a lot of sense. Yeah.

All right. Jerry's got so many great videos, but we got to move things along. You know, Deutsche's playing in about 40 minutes, so we got to keep things moving here. You're fucking right. Your arm is going to be so tired from saluting through that game, Carl. I'll be goose stepping all over the bar as soon as I get there. All right, let's check it on a fabulous F-U Friday.

No Eric Marino on Friday. I was disappointed. I thought he was going to be the fourth mic going forward. Maybe he'll be back again. Is that the guy that was given Ron the business when he was on? Yes. Okay. He's the guy who was the writer for Ellen's sitcom.

Yeah. He was trying to big time Ron and he wasn't having it. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Well, Ron interrupts the show very early on here, and Opie is not thrilled with him. Yeah. No.

That's not a bath. That's his, uh, that's his, uh, that's a, that's when he's like in the Caribbean on a beach bar. Yeah, Tony Pete's got his party shirt on. And that's how to start. It's after Friday. Thanks for checking out the Opie Radio podcast. I think my first. I don't need you leading into the camera two seconds into my intro.

I haven't seen, sorry, I haven't seen Opian. What are they building behind him? I know they're fucking blocking his view of the Hudson River. It looks like he's, that's really sad that they're just like, oh, we're just going to put a giant building right here. Wow. Fuck off. Yep. It's fucked out.

But wait, he's back in the city now. Yes. and his internet's still shit. It's better. It's better than it was in the Hamptons. I thought that was mine for half a second. I thought my shit froze up for it. I go, oh, no, not that noise.

That was Opie. I am telling you, and we were talking about this, it might have been with Adam Bush or I forget who was on, we were talking about this on Wednesday, where Opie is complaining about the cable company on this stuff. I bet there's an easy solution. I bet it's just like too far away from the router. Hey, fuckface, you can get Starlink.

I'm sure. you can afford it being a millionaire. And all they say you can see the sky, you got a service. Opie, what gives? Elon Musk is already a trillionaire. Right. Yeah, yeah, that's right.

Anthony Kubia swears by it. He got Starlink after the big storm that came through South Carolina. And you can watch TV in the woods. Works fucking awesome. Yeah. But no, Opie wants to bitch. He can't afford that.

I mean that shit anyway. This is crazy right here. Opie is misremembering who did what. on the Opie and Anthony show. And this is a wild accusation. No, I love doing this with you guys because you could take it. There'd be an issue with the old show and then someone would pout for years.

We're not even pouting anymore. There'd be an issue on the old show and somebody would pout for years. Opie, when you were playing Candy Crush and we could hear the sound effects of Candy Crush from your phone through your microphone. Anthony kept pouting. all that time. That wasn't pounding. Oh, Anthony and Jim were the ones pounding.

They weren't the ones making with the Waka. We're the asshole. Pouting motherfuckers. Is that incredible? But, you know, Opie has gotten to the point now where he's just revising history

and making himself the hero, even though everyone from that show hates his guts. You can't get a single person who used to work with him on Opie and Anthony to come out of his show. In fact, these guys know nothing with the Opie Anthony show. There's a clip of the show.

coming up where Opie's talking about the virus tour and Ron goes to what now? It's cold shit. I have a question Carl, you guys have been watching his streams for a while Does Ron have a microphone? No. He's using a phone. You send him a mattress.

We can't send him a goddamn microphone. He said that's why he's leaning in. If you want to keep looking at his nose because I've done this before what I've called in on stuff like if you sit way back sometimes you might not get a word in. he's leaning forward into the microphone. It is to make sure that you hear what the fuck he's saying.

Like, get him a microphone. He won't have to have his schnaws all in the goddamn frame, dude. Okay, Jody. Just ruin WATP. Get Ron a microphone and then there'll be nothing to laugh at. I don't be showing him. Ron with a microphone. He'll be farting on the microphone into less than three episodes, I promise, and giggling

his ass off. Let's get Suttering John to quit and make Ron presentable. Great ideas, Jody. Pause that turd, dude. That's what I do. Good ideas. All right. O.B. just went to the dentist and got another bill for this tooth that he had fixed.

And so, you know what that means? You know, there's the QR code. You know, thank you very much. Hi, hi, everyone. Thank you. Thank you to everyone that might give me a few bucks on my PayPal today because I need, I need a thousand dollars today. Oh, that'll be a thousand dollars. Oh, that will be a thousand dollars, really?

Well, I already paid a thousand dollars. I know that was only half of the tooth. Now you've got to pay for the second half of the tooth today. So that'll be another $1,000. I love the people behind the counter. Like it's no big deal for anyone to just casually go, that'll be $1,000. Oh, that'll just be $1,000, huh?

There's my first step. You go, screw. Opie said it was going to be $2,000. He said that from the beginning. That's why he started this PayPal thing. I need $2,000 for my tooth. And then he goes, can you believe they charge me another $1,000? They already charged me $1,000.

Yeah, yeah. You were expecting that. I mean, that's only 20% of what Jerry Banfield spent on dating. It's not that bad. It's not that bad. Yeah, it's not that much. He actually, like a thousand bucks is a lot of money where he lives. I can't.

I mean, that's how much it costs to park his car. So I can't imagine. I hate to be the grammar police, but go screw doesn't start with F you, Opie. You're not even committed to the bit no more. All right. You might notice that Opie's got his QR code to tip Opie Radio. But we don't. see Ron's Venmo up here right now. And Ron's not happy about that.

I God, but whatever. What, Ron? What? What do you look at at? What do you look? I'm sorry. I was, you know, it took me months and months to figure out the Venmo Ronnie and is it up there? I know. It's not up there. Piss me off. If you, if you stop pissing me off, we'll go right back to Venmo, Ronnie. I want Ron. Somebody got to get to Ron. I wanted to print out a QR code and just put it up on the screen. Just based on his fucking forehead. Like your gay sign. Just somebody print them out.

Right. I like that. He could duct tape it to that fucking wood paneling behind his head. But it shouldn't be a QR code. We talked about this on Demover's live. This idea that people are watching this on their phone. There's a QR code on the screen. What am I going to do with that?

Yeah, you can't scan it. Yeah, no one can make sense of it. So I'll tell you that his Venmo is at Ronald dash Berman dash nine, the number nine. Yeah. I gave him 15 bucks. Ducks. Chris Primer gave like 250 or something like that. He sent me his receipts.

People are giving money to Ron now. Yeah, I should tell you, it's cash app too. It's hashtag Po Boys 501 capital P, capital B. Oh, great. If you want to give to Ron. Yes, get that cash app. No, you send it to me first, and then I'll write him a check, and I'll mail it to

Ron. And then Opie will send you a hand written thank you card. Correct. So you know I love Opie's politics. I don't know when he talks politics because he always has a hard stance on things and he tells you what's up like no one else. I'm going to just read our text chain. All right there, Tony P. So yesterday I was yelling and screaming because Tony P. just casually goes, these people voted for Biden. And I try so hard, so hard to be the guy that is awake enough. Yes, I'm woke. I'm walking a good. I'm walking. A good way, though, I'm awake enough to tell the people when Biden sucks, when Kamala Harris sucks, when Trump sucks, I'm that guy. I work hard at it. If Trump does something good, I'll tell you,

oh, my God, Trump did something good. And if he does something bad, I'll certainly let you have it. And Tony then casually goes, these guys voted for Biden. I went red hot. I went red hot. Talk about Greg shells. He's talking about a private text group they have, the three of them. and Tony's right-leaning, Ron's left-leaning, Opie is retarded. He doesn't know what's going on. The best he can do, Carl.

So all the guy wrote was like, these are the same fucking idiot to vote for Biden. And Opie got red-hot. Yeah. Don't you know my stance on this show was that they're all crooks? Go screw. Go screw.

And, yeah, Opie was not happy about anyone criticizing his politics. It's one thing when the haters want to ignore when I'm, I'm speaking truth to power. You know, you can't control the haters, but someone that's doing this on a regular basis, I want them to pay attention,

then understand. I hate them all. Who the fuck does Opie think he is? I think he's turning into that puppet from Jeff Donham, the really old one, Walter? Yeah, yeah. When does his eyes get so fucking squinty, bro?

They've been squinty for a while, yeah. This whole thing where he's like, only the haters criticize my politics, not my friends. I'm speaking truth to power. Opie, you're not speaking of truth to fucking anything. You're the lavest fucking political takes after you. You should never talk about politics. Why would you get red hot reading whatever the fuck Tony wrote to him?

Somebody said the B word, it sounds like. So Opie goes through this text thread. And he starts reading it Keanu style. Oh, I don't like that. You can see how exciting Opie is when you text him. Tony writes, I was talking about those two. You were not included in that category.

I know you don't vote. So how do you think I responded to that? I responded to that by saying, my bad. My bad. Look, it's right there. My bad. And then Tony writes, makes for great content.

I'm watching it. I got DM. I pissed off the boss. I wrote, Now I feel funny inside. You see? See, we worked it out. We worked it out.

If this was the old show, this would have went on for a minimum of 18 months of people pouting and DMing. Yeah, but that's juvenile, dude, like a grown man. Cunt won't even look at me. Yes. That's what he's referring to. That's exactly what he's referred to. This is insane. So Opie has a disagreement in a chat thread and says, my bad, wiki faces.

And he's like, isn't this great? Look at how we're getting along in our text thread. like, Opie, you're so fucking boring. Your text start is boring. No one gives a shit about this. How is this topic they're bringing up? Holy shit. I just realized something.

Tony P. is right leading Anthony Coomier. Ron Berman is the tranny sucking comedian. Yeah. And Opie's Opie. Yes. He's re-created a team. He's rebuilt the show. You're right.

So you have him talking about Opie and Anthony and acting like, everyone else was a bitch and not him. And he continues to bring that up, which is crazy. You say before, like, before you, we'd be, they'd pout for 18 months. That sounds ridiculous to me. Oh, they would DM each other while, well, I'm sitting right there in the room. Really?

They wouldn't confront me or nothing. They were just sulk and stew. Okay. So, Kurt, if you already said it, but famously, Anthony texted to Opie, the cunt won't even look at me. He meant to send that to Jim in the studio. Who's pouting when there's a guy

who won't even look at the co-host because he's so upset with him. Who's stewing in that scenario? Not Anthony. And he's like, this fucking guy won't even look at me. Candy crushing Sudoku. Just crushing candies with his purple lips stuck out. I don't want to play no more.

Opie was the one pouting. And now he's trying to rewrite history and act like it was Jim and Amund. Anthony were being little bitches about it. And he continues to explain that it was everyone but him. You're not used to what I did yesterday, which was text you saying, no, no,

no, no, I was in an extremely toxic environment when I was doing a high profile radio show. We worked it out, Tony, and less than an hour. It was beautiful. I love you, Tony. I love you. I love you, too, pro. I love you too. I love you.

He's the new Guido. I like it's a lot easier to work out differences when there's no money on the line at all and no one's listening this totally's not going to have a fucking ego why wouldn't he's got nothing going on hope he's got nothing going on open anthony he's a whole different story there's millions of dollars at stake you know hundreds of thousands of listeners are not millions of listeners it's a very different scenario and nobody's like see if anthony would have been more mature i i'm easy to work things out with okay greg shells if you say so they start talking about

Bono from you too and Opie's got a joke that does not go over great like his eyes are extremely sensitive to light like light like light damages his eyes that's why he wears those tinted glasses

it's not it's not for style and his eyes are sensitive to to Guinness obviously as well because when he he he likes to drink. Oh, boy. What the fuck

just happened there? He's short-sugging. Yeah. Thank you. Yikes. Is Bono known as an alcoholic? I was going to say, it's just the Irish thing. Yeah, he's Irish, but I don't know if that's

a thing with Bono. He seems like really driven and, you know, charitable. And I mean, he's a douchebag. He's super fucking annoying. But I don't know what people are just like, yeah, look at that sloppy drunk Bono. I know what he was talking about. Guys, we're missing the point. Yes.

The point is it's F.U. Friday, right? Oh, yeah. So we want to know what's pissing you off this week. And Tony, he comes prepared. Okay, Missy B is not on the show. So Tony P. comes prepared with what's pissing him off. I'm not here for the next parade. My God.

who's got an FU Who wants it? I got an Flipp flops I got more FUs if no one else wants to jump in Flip flops Flipp flops Fuck flip flops I hurt myself on a fucking flip flop

I get it I don't learn I go into public with fucking flip flop I was walking my dog with a flip flop And I fucking fucked up Because the flip flop The flip flopped when it should have flipped that I almost fell down. Jesus Christ.

Hey, when that happens, dude. Stop saying flip-flops in there. Lip-flop. I like, oh, no one has anything. Turns like, flip-flops, flip-lops, fuck, Phyllis! I'm over here. Ooh, ooh, ooh.

Yeah, yeah. I got one. It's so funny. Is there no one else? Yeah, so fuck flip-lops. This is compelling content. And let's hear the exciting conclusion of his rant. You can't defend yourself in these.

This is the problem. Somebody steps on your foot, you're done. Yeah, you're done. You're right. All right. I like that one. Off the clock. Good stuff, Tony. Try Crocs.

That's what I do, Guy. Crocs are awesome. I used to make fun of people with Crocs. God damn right. You can take it off an earhole somebody if you need to defend yourself. My wife wears crocs. She gets compliments on them. I get so fucking annoyed.

I swear to got... Rainbow Crox, baby. Guys, all right? It's just us mad, right? Yeah, of course. Kind of. I think there's something that happens. happens with women.

They're a little community with this thing they do. When they see someone wearing something awful, they compliment it. Because they want to sabotage other women. Yeah. My wife wears the dumbest shoes. She wears crocks. She's got like this coat that I can't stand. And everywhere we go, women are complimenting her on.

I'm like, sure. Fuck off. I know what they're doing. Other dudes aren't trying to fuck her. That's probably a good thing for you, Carl. Listen, it's fine. I'm not worried about that part of it. I just, I think, am I right about this,

Cardiff? Have you seen this phenomenon? Oh yeah, and then they go immediately to scissoring each other. Yeah, that's the videos I watch. That's what they do. All right, no one's on board. I'll bring it up on Wednesday. Watch Adam just stare at me like this. Yeah.

Blime Michael probably have some good input for that one, Carl. There you go. W-A-T-S. Yes. Thank you and me now. You're absolutely right, Carl. They lie to each other. They fucking do.

They love to do that shit. And then women are just like, oh, these fucking. and sparkly shoes are the best. Everyone loves them. Like, no, they suck. What are you doing? You just don't have any real friends.

That's your problem. Diana, I don't hate women. Women hate each other, is my point. Yeah. I'm a lady's man over here. We don't have to hate women because you guys are already the best at it. That's his point. All right.

Opie brings up a topic, and I don't know if he's doing this on purpose or why he would be, but no one corrects him. My nephew goes out to George Stephanophil. Oh, fuck that guy. George Stephanophilus. Know why there's a big F you to George Stephanophilus today? It's George Stephanopoulos. There's a P.

Why is he doing that? I thought it was the elephant from Sesame Street. Yeah. Right? Why is he doing it? Why does he say it's Sephanophilus? It's quirky. He's quirky.

Okay. So that's like his thing. That's why he had to set up being silly. He's being silly. Okay. Do you guys want to know why he's giving an FU to George Stephanopolis? Is this a game? I bet you can't wait for this.

but George Stephanoff. I'm looking at this guy. He's too perfect. I don't like him. He's never, he doesn't have a wrinkle on his suit. He's, you don't even know when he gets a haircut because his hair is perfect.

Everything's perfect about the fucking guy. It's almost like he works for network television or something. Yeah. And they have makeup artists and people that make you look like a million bucks when you're on camera, huh? Jesus Christ. What a fucking, what a cold take that is. That's too handsome.

Yeah, nothing about his politics or anything like substantive. Like something made me set out of TV show or something. I'm mad. He makes me want to blow him so much. Why am I turned out over here? I'm not gay or am I? Yeah. That's my nephew.

Damn, you George Stepanopal Tits. All right. You guys ready for some show and tell? You always know a show is going well when they started doing the show and tell segments. This is Chris Christie. No one else was allowed. the beach. Yeah.

No one else was allowed at the beach. And now you're gonna make the picture bigger. I know how to do this. I was going to run. Comedy at all the socials. Oh, do I have to zoom in? Oh,

really? I thought I was only gonna just show this fucking picture. Which you did. Where your screen, Opie. I was going to do it right in a minute. Right. I know.

I love you. Can't take any criticism at all. And Tony P. just stone just. cracking up that Rod's giving him shit. Dude, this is such a mind fuck for me because I've only listened to the show usually, Carl. I've never seen Tony Pee before. I thought he would look like Artie Fletcher, like a fat old guy. Oh, no. Like a fishing hat. He's got his nipples pierce. He thinks he's

fucking hot. He looks like Timu Tommy Pope. I've been sitting here the whole time just going like, God damn, who is this guy? Why is he smoking in that fucking garage? That seems unhelpful. You thought a $10 a button Tony was going to look like Artie Fletcher? Come on. I did. Come on. Have you listened? You heard him talk? He sounds like a fat old Italian guys. I'm like,

yeah, it's, it's, it's obi talks to two fat old guidos. No. And they're just doing their thing. And I see this. I go,

oh, is this the new guy that was for Ellen or whatever? But you said he wasn't there. So, dude, this guy is Greek and he's hot A.F. All right, Joey,

catch up. Oh, so he's Tony Stepanamo tits or whatever to fuck. That's, that's, you use that joke twice. I like that. You're welcome.

Well, there comes the third one. All right. Can't wait. So Opie explains, because he has to dress down Ron now for criticizing him, that, listen, you can't tell me how to do a show. I used to have a huge radio show with a huge audience. There you go.

Remember when that picture is a big box back of the day? I know how to do this. Do you remember when that jackass fucking shut down the bridge? I can't picture you famous. You can't picture me famous? I just can't. I don't know who you are. I just know you as this guy.

a big celebrity I just I just know you as this guy I can't pick you famous honestly Fair enough That's my favorite thing Ron has ever said to Opie He just dunked on him so fucking hard I fucking love that He's like I know you claim that you said

A big radio show or something I don't see it I don't know how that's possible You suck I can imagine Anybody knowing who you are Right There used to be billboards up in Manhattan With this guy's fucking face on it

Go down to the subway There's fucking advertisement W80W And then if Rod's just like, nah, I don't think any of that happened. I think the crazy, Carl, it's the craziest part is Ron's not a young guy. Like, if he was 20 and he'd never heard of O&A, like you would go, oh, he just doesn't know. Ron has been around since Howard Stern's been around, I think. He looks old as fuck.

So the fact that he has no clue who Opie and Anthony was. It's bizarre. Now, I think he moved to Manhattan more recently. He's from Boston, obviously. Oh, yeah, they don't read books or anything. You're probably right. Yeah, and Ope and Anthony was never in Boston either. gonna say right you're still

who fucking Opie and Anthony is the mayor right it's crazy to me that you'd be in comedy like Ron is a stand-up comedian that's like his thing well I know I know

but he thinks he's a stand-a-com comedian how can you be in comedy and not know anything about Howard Stern or Opie and Anthony it's bizarre so Opie was very famous and he was friends

with Carlos Monsia back in the day and so Opie's going to defend Carlos Monsea because I don't know if you guys saw the news. Carlos owes like hundreds of thousand dollars in back taxes. They never paid. So the IRS is cracking down on him. He was hiding some money.

So he's in the news. I can't just completely throw money. Wait, hold on. Hold on. Give me some backstory. So how did you meet him? Through the radio show. So he was, okay.

Was he? And then he did a virus tour for us. he did a virus tour this is why I respect to Mncia when Rogan was coming after him hard and I don't I don't really respect Rogan for going after Monsea because he only went after Monsea

Rogan spent a lot of time in the comedy store we did this rap recently and he knows so many other comedians that were all so fucking ripping off other comics but he only focused on Carlos the famous one right hope he's got an extra grind with Joe Rogan

obviously he's upset Yeah, because Joe used to do a show, and now Joe's way bigger than Opie ever was. Yeah. Opie can't get back on Joe Rogan show. He was out of years ago. He's watching people fight on the White House lawn dog. He doesn't have time to hang out with Opie anymore. So he's got a weird thing with Joe Rogan.

So he goes, Carlos Monsia stealing jokes. I don't know why that was a big deal. Everyone was stealing jokes. No, Carlos Monsia, what he would do, he was addictive. When he was on a showcase, you know, like what they normally are when they're at the comedy store, he would purposely do jokes of the comics that were coming up after him to fuck with the other comics so they couldn't do their material.

Like that's like psychopathic behavior. It's funny if it's your friend. But if it's somebody you don't know very well, that's pretty fucked up. Dude, the guy is fucking crazy. He's German and he pretends to be Mexican. He changes me from Ned to Carlos Medea. And this fucking guy was stealing everyone's jokes.

He would famously sit in the back with a pen and paper and just write down anything they heard that he thought was funny and just take it. And the worst thing he ever did was steal from Ari Shafir, baby. Yeah. What got him got. Yeah, that's not a smart move. So hope he's just going like, well, everyone would do that, right? And listen to what Ron says later out of this conversation.

All right. I got more people that accuse him of stealing. By the way, when you have a lot of comments coming out saying it, then you're doing it. No, I believe he stole jokes. I get it. He's more. I just hate that Rogan only focused on him, knowing that the comedy store was filled with Steelers.

Dude, every fucking comic doesn't. Every, I told you, I stole two jokes from Dan Cook. And my new joke about my 5,500 pound father, going to the All You Can Eat Chies buffet, which happened, absolutely inspired by John Panette. Ron. What the fuck is wrong with you? If you're going to steal jokes, don't steal from Dane Cook.

Yeah, that's an awful plan. No, but honestly, that's crazy that Ron just said that. It's like, everyone steals jokes. I've stolen jokes from comics. Like, no, no, that's actually the one rule of comedy is to not steal jokes. Yeah, it's like banging fat girls. It's fun until your friends catch you doing it. Dude, oh, no.

The fact that he's just like, ah, I don't know why Carl's Mncia is getting all this negative publicity. Everyone's doing this. Yeah. They're not. Don't sweep for Mncia, dude. That's a bad plan. It's a bad plan. I was shocked by that.

So Opie talks about Carlos Bensia was on the virus tour, one of the virus tours that they did. This is hilarious. We booked Carlos Mnciia to do one of our virus tours. There was like two or three summers where we don't know what that means, virus tour. We did these giant comedy shows, giant. I mean, one summer, every weekend, we were jumping on a plane going somewhere else. And I want that, Opie. It's a lot of work, Ron.

It's amazing. Ron's on player this one. First of the fact that Obie's teed up with people who don't know what the virus tour is is insane. How do you live your life and not see the Bill Burr in Philadelphia clip? Oh, the Philly Meltdown? Yeah, that's classic. How do you not know about this shit? It made Bill Burr, who he is today, or who he was before Riyadh, I should say.

That's a good point. He's from Boston, so he's definitely seen Bill Burr fucking yell at the audience. So how would you not know that was from that tour? How would you not know? He's like, oh, he's like, time out, time out. A virus tour? What is that, Opie? Holy shit.

I'm calling bullshit, dude. I'm not buying it. But I like what he's doing, Ron. I won't blow your cover anymore. But I don't understand how you could not possibly know these things already. I think he's that out of it. I really do. Yeah, I think he's just stupid.

Yeah, I think he's stupid it out of it. I like, though, that Opie goes, yeah, we used to do these tours with comedians. We travel all over. And Ron's like, we're, we're just stupid it. that Opie go? Could we bring that guy back? And so Opie, he explains why things

have changed. I want that Opie. I can put the afterburners on any time I want. The problem is it's a lot of work. Yeah. It's a lot of work. Wait. Did he just claim he could just restart it all anytime he wants? He sure

did, Cardiff. If only he wanted to. Opie just said, because he said this before he's like I can be bigger than Joe Rogan if I put an effort into it. Yeah. He just said it again. He's like, listen, if I wanted to, I put the afterburners on and I could get all this going again. I just that's too much work. Lazy. Yeah, it could

be eight inches if I pulled on it hard enough, you know? Diana is mad at me today. Curles and sense, Ron doesn't like the same stuff Carl does. No, what's crazy about this is he's the co-hosts on Opie's show and knows literally nothing about Opie and Anthony. Literally

nothing. It's wild. How is that possible? I'm with Diana. Screw Carl. All right. Fair. enough. You know, Lemmy doesn't like me. Diana doesn't like me now. Doom. All the ladies hate you. I know. Makes sense. Are there any women in the devil verse? I think Lucy pretends, but you should hear the things she says when she's not on the show. Oh my gosh, you just hear our pillow talk. It's brutal. I'm like, I'm laying right here, asshole. What's the wrong with you? All right. I want to revisit something that I feel like I'm seeing it through different eyes now. I think we're more like

Monty Python's flying circus. We do bits and pieces, bits and pieces, bits and pieces, bits and pieces, bits and pieces. That's a good one. The reason why Artie Fletcher got on our radar is because he was on Suttering John's show. And then I remember seeing it live and I texted Vinny because I know the Vinny used to work for Ardy. I'm like, holy shit, look who John has on it. And Vinny's been telling me for years about Artie Fletcher. And I'm like, okay, whatever. but then when he went on with stuttering John

and the claim they were going to start the bad boys from New York tour I got interested and we've been studying immediately going through his resume who he knows yes it was very it was very stuttering John asked but Cardiff got another one the thing I didn't realize the thing that I've learned now is because we had his roommate on the show not too long ago Artie's former roommate I didn't realize what a compulsive liar he was

I didn't realize he's just fucking fabricating everything. It's crazy. So I had to go back and rewatch this interview he did with Sittering John with my new knowledge base. And I forgot about some of these things he said are out of the gate. Whoops, come here.

Go on now. I haven't shot alone in 10 years. I thought your name is Artie. Is it Robert or Artie? My real name is Robert Arthur. My name on acting and everything else, Law and Order Day, all that shit is Artie Fletcher. Right.

If you know from Law & Order, you would know him as Artie Fletcher, not Robert Fletcher, obviously. That's the problem. I was Googling Robert Fletcher on IMD. It's amazing how he works in these little things, just like John does. Like just constantly works in the resume. Oh, I thought your name was Artie.

Well, no, right. If you saw the credits of Law and Order that I was on, then yes, you would know me as Artie Fletcher. Also, Artie's like a hack. That's the other thing, too. When we watched this the first time, I didn't realize what a horrible standup he was. Now we've been watching him on him to standup. We got to know that he's terrible at it.

Wait, wait, wait, wait. The guy that came on and was announcing a comedy tour with Stuttering John, you didn't know he was a horrible standup. I didn't know he was this bad. You couldn't put the pieces together just with that information. That's a good point, Cardiff. I probably should have known. Spighted said should have been tingling. But Artie tells jokes that John just really sells.

So where are you looking at? Are you looking at the phone? Yeah. Oh, because when you look down, now you're looking at me. But when you look up, you're looking. Well, when I got to pee, I'm old now. I got to find it and then go pee. What does that mean?

It means when he's got to pee, he's got to find it and then go pee. Because he's old now. Yeah. Does this dick disappear? What does he mean? Like, being old doesn't mean like you can't know where your dick is anymore. Yes, it does, Carl. You'll find out.

Where the fuck that I put my dick? God damn it. Just wait till you turn 50, Carl. I can never find my glasses, my keys, or my cock. I never know where I put these things. I'm so forgetful over here. My cock is gone. All right.

I love John explaining how stand-up works to Artie Fletcher. You got to work your way through the ranks. Like, you don't just fucking go on a stage and, you know, suddenly be able to do stand-up. Like, you got to become a host. a fucking middle, a fucking headline. It doesn't happen overnight, Artie. You got to sleep with fat shit. There's a lot of shit you got to do it.

That's why I wrote a book, and that's why it's a bestseller. Artie's amazing, isn't he? That's why I wrote a book, and that's why it's a bestseller, because I fucked fat girls. The balls of John Melendez to explain how you have to pay your dues. Is China a dues payer in the world of stand-up? I believe so, Carl. I don't think so.

I think he started suddenly John and friends where he just got Nick Topalo and Modi and Jim Norton. All those guys paid John's dues for him. Right. And then he just put his name on the marquee and sold theaters. Must be easy street. Pretty easygoing. Also, I'm pretty sure writers from this night show helped him write his act. I didn't think he wrote his own act.

Which is saying something. None of them are taking credit for it, though. No. Could you imagine the guy who, the guy who wrote the, my dad is so cheap bit? And they're going, there's no way he's going to go with this. Oh, we fuck he is. If you're watching a podcast one day and some old writers like, I wrote this squeegee bit once for stuttering John Melinda. I'm proud of it. I believe squeegee is John's.

I think John wrote that one. Maybe someone punched it up. Yeah. Maybe they punched it up with the, uh, fuck, I'm afraid it's the 40-year-old reference. the boxing promoter. Don King. Don King. And a direct TV reference in there as well.

Right. Direct TV and Don King. The Don King was probably one of the writers punched that up for him. All right. Artie is an amazing comedian who can do it all. I, Ray Reneer, he's the guy who said,

you're going to open up tonight for Tony Bennett. And tomorrow you can be with dice. It was like that. and that's an art. So you know, that's an art. Well, also, that's like, I don't want to disparage it because it just kind of sounds that way, but it's not. In order to do us to be a comic on any cruise,

you have to have, you know, you can be blue on some of the shows, but you've got to be clean. How was that disparaging? Being able to work clean is like one of the hardest things to do in comedy. No one was just like, hey, look at this asshole. I could do 45 minutes clean. For John, just being clean is the hardest thing to do. Yeah.

Literally. I like that. The last time he tried to be clean, Carl, he broke his wrist. I'm not going to that thing anymore. The shower, that's dangerous. So I love this already talking about how he's like, listen, I would open for Tony Bennett one night. Andrew Dice Clay the next night.

It's an art. Yep. We've seen him flail trying to open for Gallagher. I'm not buying. Who's going to a Tony Bennettconter? He's just like, oh, good, there's a stand-up. This is just what I wanted for the opening act. It doesn't even make sense.

And Artie would do these cruises, and he likes to brag about how much pussy he was getting. The whole point is to get late, isn't it? I'm running games and contests with quarantine. I'm doing a cruise. I betcha I get banged 20 girls and then 70. That's what it was like. he brings up

Florentines so many fucking times in this interview I'm playing games with Florentine see if I can bang 20 girls in seven days cool I've I've spent far too much time in my life

on cruise ships Carl I've actually sat and talked to some of these cruise ship comedians it's a sad existence oh it's brutal it's a very sad existence they all hate it I mean Joe Maderice

is the latest example this guy is only playing Philly and Florida where people from Philly moved to and he's like, it's great, I'll just do another fucking cruise ship for the rest of my life. I only know one that does it like constantly and he seems fine but I bet you like he said it's got to be long days on the boat

just dealing with these fat fucking slabs. It's not a comedy audience, that's the problem. It's just a free show to go to. It's something to do when you run out of money at the casino. There's kids running around. Yeah. It sucks. All right, so Artie is very braggadocious on this episode and claims he does a lot of things. It's amazing.

It's just, well, where you are, see, where I end is a lot of hot chicks because we're in Clearwater, Tampa, and there's a lot of colleges. You know, I teach at University of Tampa. What do you teach? I teach the master's program for theater. Oh, nice. If somebody goes to me, what's that? how do you like teaching that college? I go, oh, my God, it's great.

You get back in the students, they're 18. And I had a girl come up to me and go, what do I need to pass this class? I go, that apple ain't going to cut it. Yeah, so. I just want to point out, this was 2026 with this interview happened. And college girls are bringing college's girls in the Masters of Theater program, are bringing Arthur Fletcher

an apple. No, they're blowing him. That's what he's implying here. This is like what Joey Diaz got canceled for is what Yeah, he's like, I can't give you an A, but I can give you a D. Yeah. Give you my big C right now.

Look at those fucking tits, Carl. Jesus, Carl, I haven't. He looks like two eggs rolling off a ball. Oh, you're talking about Arty. Artis, look at those tits. Goodness gracious. I consulted with, my producer on WTP.

Of course, I'm talking about Grock. And I asked Grock if Ardy Fletcher was ever a professor at a university. And Grock said, there is no public record or credible information that Artie Fletcher has ever been a college professor. This fucking asshole just makes it up.

It's like, yeah, yeah, I'm a professor for the master's program for theater. Oh, sure. Why not? Did you try community college? That might be a step down. They don't have master's programs there. I think he's life. I've ever been to college, Carl.

I don't know how it works. I think he's lying about that. Well, if you ever do brag about your associate's degree. Okay. That's something I've learned on the show today. Artie, of course, is managing bands. He's still doing that to this day. A friend of mine down in Tampa, his band is playing, and he reached out to Artie and said,

hey, if you want to come and scout my band, we're playing at this venue. We'd love for you to come down. And I already wrote back, I said, I already have too many bands. So Artie's got a full roster of talent. and he has some thoughts about John's old band. I book all the bands in there, because that's what I do. I ban his bands.

Yeah, well, I was in a band, too. And you trash my album, and I had to stick it to you and go, really? I got three songs and three major film soundtracks. I don't think it was that bad. I tell Martin, I go, I haven't talked to John in, what, 30 years.

First thing I tell them is, yeah, I went to Rock House, so I didn't see your band. It was horrendous. And I go, John goes, really, thank you. I go, studying John said a record. You got a record deal. And he didn't get dropped.

He just went to video. They didn't have any of them. But it is what it is. You get a phone call, Artie. I don't even know what he goes. John said a record. He got a record deal. He didn't get dropped.

he went to video. Is that what he said? I don't even know what the joke was. But the best part is that Arty's just trashy John's band and Ardy thinks of himself as a guy who recognizes his talent

and has a good ear for this kind of thing. So this is weird. But the University of Tampa has a theater named after a former professor William Gregory Fletcher. Oh.

From the class of 1900. Oh, Jesus. Christ. So it's Arty's dad is what you're saying. But do you think he saw that one time that there's a Fletcher Theater and he just started telling his story that he had something to do with the University of Tampa

Theater program? I don't know if you know it is, but my great, great, great, great, great fucking grandpa used to teach you. I'm a legacy at the University of Tampa Theater program. Dude, they were doing Shakespeare plays and they were new. That's fucking old, man. The first time Shakespeare, the first time

ever. What you do about nothing for me? So, you, that's hilarious. Artie's the kind of guy who would do that, too. He saw his name. He saw his name on a building and said, hey. University of Tampa, put that one in the book. John is as a modest guy, which I appreciate. John is modest, believe it or not.

And I just got done doing the Living Legend of Comedy with Jimmy J.J. Walker, who's, God bless him, one TV credit and wrote it out for 90s. freaking years. So he goes, he goes, I just did a Living Legends a comedy show with JJ Walker, who fucking sucks.

What a hack he is. He's so much like John. They're always just bashing everyone all the time, bragging about themselves, bashing other people. Always be bashing. Yep.

But again, bashing people that are trying to do exactly what they're doing. They have one, well, or at least John has one or two credits and trying to coast off that for the rest of their lives.

Right. At least Jimmy, Walker is like a unknown TV. Good times were syndicated like the episodes with Stuttering John were not. So like Arte's like I have 40 TV credits. It's like yeah but Jimmy JJ

Walker surpasses you in every measure. Yeah 100%. So then Ardy goes into his resume, of course. John, you guys did it different. Like I told you, I have opened for over 250 acts from Gladys and I, I died

Ross for 10 years. Tower Power 12 years. Little Anthony, Jamie Merrigan. I was on the Mughey's Reunion Tour. Jesus. I don't understand this brag that he has. Why anyone going to these shows that he's talking about would want to see Artie Fletcher open the show? I have no understanding of it.

People go to see music. They want to see music. And also, like, stand-up is a weird art form because it's like you're going somewhere where you're hyped and you want to scream and you want to applaud. And stand-up's like, shut the fuck up and pay attention now. Yes. No one talk. No one make any noise. Just listen to me.

He's like, that's not a good opening act for music. Doesn't even make sense. Diana Ross gets on stage where everyone go. Right. Do you think, okay. So if he is literal Ardy Frat Fletcher, do you think he thinks opening for somebody is walking out to the thing and going, good afternoon ladies and gentlemen everybody hears Diana Ross

and like he just puts that on the credit oh that's a good point like Brother Weez was an emcee at Woodstock 99 sure and so Brother Wees would get up there between bands and hype everyone up and like all right corn's coming up or whatever the fuck

right he wouldn't say you opened for corn but I mean I think that's what Hardy is saying though I think you're right I think it's just he's hosting and using that as an opening credit That would make a lot of sense. She's probably doing a little crowdwork in there. Hey, look at this black guy right here at the Tiana Ross concert. And I was like, we're all black guys.

You too fucking. All right. Although Nova, I know you know about this band. John tries to sing the chorus of their big hit song. I don't know. Life is just a fantasy. Can you see you? You know, it's funny.

I manage it a bit. It's a ton of close. and not even close to the chorus Life with this fantasy Can you live this fantasy life? It tries like But but dude Debat Debo

Okay I thought it's perfect That's pretty good Man You know it's funny I manage this man here Called Twinkle and Rocksoor radio

And I think you know The bass player actually Tony Leclerc Used to be the big bad wolf Who was always at Lamores He played in Ticado Cardiff, have you heard of any of these bands he's talking about? No.

I mean, he's name dropping in the worst way possible. You know the bass player of a big bad wolf who used to play at the Tramalo? Oh, them. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, the big bad wolf I see now. What the fuck you're talking about, man? And then Mike Morris gets brought up because Mike Morrison already had a relationship.

He always like, like, say it is a problem with him. That's not Mike Morris. me, Mike, and you know what? We were best friends. We started the joke factory together. He married a C-U-N-D, and we drifted apart,

and there's 42 years I could care less. Yeah, because he always, like on that show that they do, he's always saying that he doesn't like you, and I don't even know why he, you know. Guess what? I don't really care. How's that?

He doesn't like you. I live in Florida. Okay, he lives in freaking Sperman. All right. I can give him a good about him, too. I'd call him silent Mike, because he barely ever talks. And I accomplished way more than he did, and we started out together. So I'm not-

He calls you a narcissist. Yeah, whatever. I love that. John has a guest at the show, and he's like, there's this guy, Mike Morris, who says you're fucking asshole. Hold on, say, no, he said more than that. He also claimed that you're a narcissist. Yeah.

Thanks, man. Thanks for bringing that up. But this was the one appearance already made on John's show, right? Yep. Yep, this is that. I don't believe Mike Morris was talking about Ardy Fletcher too much before he made an appearance on John's show. I don't think so either. I know that him and Vinny had a private conversation about Artie Fletcher at Dapelcon 1

the night before the show started because they're like, holy shit, you worked with this guy, they just traded war stories. But I don't think it ever came to light. It's strange that John had that information ready to go, that Mike Morris is always crashing. It's also funny that he goes, he called you a narcissist. Bingo. Yeah, nailed it. Yeah.

What do you think already is? It's fascinating to see them interact with each other because they're both the same creature. Like John is a compulsive liar. Artie is a compulsive liar. But Arty has done the thing where like he's used some of that to his advantage to accomplish more things. So like if you ask John, he's got the cream Abdul Jabbar roast fucking Howard starring the Tonight Show at Jay Leno and he's in Menzo. You know, he's got a very short list of accomplishments, but Artie just kept going. Our wrestling championship on CBS.

You're right. Jody. I hosted. But no, he's almost like getting Alford here by Artie, which is very interesting to see because John usually doesn't back down. But I feel like he's scared to call Artie on bullshit because then Artie will just call him on bullshit. And the whole thing will be a rap. Also, they had a phone conversation the day before where Artie's like, hey, I can get us all these dates. We'll start doing this bad boys in New York thing.

So John kind of needs Arty at this point. I see. So I think that's... Oh, so he's being nice, charming. That's part of it too. Watch the way Artie responds to Mike Moore saying he's a narcissist. Florentino always said it's about me and I'm proud of him. If you hate Ardy Fletcher, you don't know him because I've held more people's careers.

Dad, I got four bands signed. Okay. Forget it. I'm not even going to tell you how great I am. People know. I'm not a narcissist. I'm great. Is that amazing?

So he goes, Oh, really? Does he know that I'm fucking awesome? I've accomplished so much great shit. Damn. Maybe he shows up to suck worse than the other person by comparison. He goes, well, you know, compared to that fucking guy, you guys are great.

Big bad wolf. So I mentioned that they had a private conversation. This is John talking about their private conversation and all the name dropping that was going on. Artie, you and I talked on the phone in private yesterday, and we talked about an hour. And I was having a fucking blast here and all. your stories about John's play. And Cursey and Al.

Hold on. Artie, let me tell everyone. Artie went to a wedding with Cursey Alley. Okay. That was so good. Okay. This is the stuff I didn't pick up on the first time I watched this. I thought Artie was just like telling the truth.

I just assumed that he went to a wedding with Kirstie Alley. He's making all this up. Oh, this is such bullshit. Listen to the story. Now that we know when he was doing the tour with Gallagher and Bob Nelson. They were doing those morning TV shows and we've watched a few of them. Bits and pieces.

Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. So listen to this story about how Kirstie Ali and him met. Let me tell you a story, John. Okay. Gallagher, I was on tour with Gallagher and the jokes on a new comedy tour. I wrote that. Me, Gallagher and Bob Nelson.

We were in, and it was in fact, the coolest thing is I got to drive to that game because it was right in clear water. And I never forget. I was like, this is cool, man. No tour bus, nothing. I just drove there. So

we're at a restaurant, me, Gallagher and Bob, before the show across the street. His girl taps Gallagher on the show and says, hey, I saw you guys on Fox this morning. You guys are hysterical. I look up like, holy shit, Curtsy Alley.

And then Bob Nelson goes, I love you on Cheers. He says, oh, you know how I am? He goes, he had and she looks at Gallagher. You know who I am? Gallagher's, no offense, I don't really watch TV, which he doesn't. He watches like the History Channel. Yeah.

He was a nerd. Then she looks at me. She goes, how about you? Do you know me? No, I always wanted to bang you. So, of course he did. You know, when you know, if you, you don't have a shot with a woman or anything, you just become

obnoxious. They either like you or though. Jerry Bantle, take notes. Yeah. I feel like you're going to just be obnoxious to her. My guy went to the Tom Likis School of Charm. Yeah. John's like, I got that far town, actually.

I'm very good to be obnoxious. You got to drop that bitch. According to Artie Fletcher, Kirstie Alley was watching Morning News, saw these three retards out there, and then saw them at a diner. And went, holy shit, I got to go talk to those guys because they're hysterical. I think we're more like Monty Python's flying circus.

We do bits and pieces. Bits and pieces, bits and pieces. Bits and pieces. Where can you find a turtle with no legs right where you left them? Bits and pieces. I mean, there's no way, Kirstie Haley. Watch this. It was like, I want to be friends with these guys.

it's a made-up story, as I said. When was this tour? This is like 10 years ago. It's a while ago, right? I was going to say she's been dead for like four years. Oh, we'll get to that. This is another made-up story about Kirstie Alley. So I got to meet Trowalton to her and I became friends with John.

So I go to a picnic at her house before she died. And knock on the door, get to her early. She wanted five books and wanted me to sign them. And she would pay me for her. She wanted to give them to her friends. She always tells her friends about me. So I bring the books. I'm not going to do.

I like her. Yeah, she died last year, right here, right in Clearwater. Oh, I didn't know that. Jesus Christ. Shot is so slow. Oh, 2002. She died. It was 2022.

Yeah. It was four years ago. So he was just like, yeah, last year over here. I think the judge took 30 seconds to be like, wait, she's dead. Holy shit. He's so slow. Yeah, there's a thing called COVID. Remember?

Got a few of them guys, John. Now, Kirstie Ellie asked Ardy Fletcher to bring five books over signed for her friends. She tells all of her friends about Artie. Obviously, this is not a real story. But if it were a real story, I would opine that Kirstie also sees this guy's a low cow and is like goofing on him to all of her friends like you gotta fucking meet this guy he's such a loser i saw him do bits and pieces on morning tv i can't get enough i like to imagine she just threw him right in the trash can car well done with this the azie osborne

beetles books uh move just go right home and leave him there um so because we're talking about Kirstie Ellie. And Artie says, I never did sleep with her. I just went to a wedding. By the way, again, I asked Grock,

there's no record of Artie Fletcher going to a wedding with Kirstie Ellie. None of this is real. It's all made up. But John asked this great question. Did you have a bag? Any, like anybody famous?

Anybody famous? Bruce Willis. You remember? Okay. When I, Law and order, I went to the Emmys for Best Supporting Actor

and he's just completely made up. And again, another thing I didn't realize before this happened. Like, he was never up for best supporting actor for an Emmy for Law & Order. He was

in 15 seconds of this episode. But he's a great, he's a great liar because he started, remember when I went to the Emmys for like he's, he's playing of course. Yeah. Right. He doesn't remember that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You guys don't remember when I fucked Ist tea?

I thought I told you that story. It's also such a fucking crazy question to say like, you ever bang anyone famous? And Kirk Fox when he was on Seffney Miller show, John asked him the same question. And Kirk's like, not that I would talk about.

That's not a cool thing to do. Famous women don't want a guy he's so bragging about how she fucked them, you know? Maybe if they're really hot they do. Like if it was Jason Mammaula, he would probably be telling all the stories about the gals he banged.

Does he though? Probably not. Oh, you actually know what I, now I'm just remembering, it wasn't Danny Magistam, but the other guy on that 70s show, not Ashton Butcher, but the nerdy guy, the main guy. The nerdy guy. Eric. He was on Howard Stern bragging about all the girls he fucked. Actually, that was a weird interview because I remember one of the women came out was just like, I never slept in this guy. I don't know what he's talking about. Not a chance. I forget who it was. Tiffany everthes it or someone. I think when you're famous, it's like slander or something. You could probably get sued for saying shit like that. Like if I say it to you, it doesn't mean a goddamn thing.

Right. Yeah, but if you say that on Stern, you could be looking down the pike at a lawsuit. You want to prove that in court? Judge. How do you prove that you never fucked over grace? Yes. All right. So, apparently, Artie's story about fucking a celebrity is pathetic.

Well, I got drunk with her and ended up in a hotel room. I could have banged her. I don't know. I passed out. Sounds like a stuttering John's story. Except we didn't shit in the sheets. That true. Was Wuby Goldberg there?

Is that a crazy story? You ever banged someone famous? Well, I went to the Emmys. You know, I was nominated. And then I got wasted at the hotel room with this chick and passed out. Yeah. Okay. Carl.

Got another one here. What do you got? Robert Fletcher, costume designer. nominated for an Emmy. Oh! And worked with Christy Alley. Or Christy Alley.

Oh, shit. There it is. Get the fuck out of here. So I think again, he goes like Robert. So people Google Robert Fletcher Emmy. Amazing. Wow, you are a good sleuth over there, Cardiff. Nothing gets past here.

But he was R. But no, when you're looking at his IMDB, I'm Robert. Remember he has Robert Fletcher on his nameplate on this show. And John asked him, aren't you, Ardy Fletcher? He goes, well, my name is Robert. Arthur Fletcher, but so he could mix and match

based on who won an Emmy. There was not rated for one. Mm-hmm. Okay, so now they start talking about Jim Forentine and talking about how great he is. Already, so when do you want to start?

Did you call that place you were talking about? Yeah, I sent down. You see the thing I say you? I said you did that's like already. Check your emails, bitch. Oh, okay. All right. Good.

Yeah. I don't waste no time. I already got two bites. I think you and I would have a blast on the road. I know we are. Jim, because you two will be perfect together. I believe that.

I believe that Jim 14 is looking at these two guys he knows. John Melendez and Artie Fletcher going, oh, you two have to tour together. That's a fantastic idea. This will be fucking awesome. And thank you, Jim, for doing that. It's funny that way back then, Arty's going, yeah, yeah, we already got some bites.

We're going to start some shows. Nothing has happened. They've got nothing from this. They talk about having a blast. Artie starts picking his nose, dude. That's not a good sign. They're going to go off a cliff together like Thelman Louise. No shit.

Bad Boys of New York Comedy Tour brought you by Valtrex. Yeah. And fentanyl. All right. So TV credit score. That's the only thing is important to Artie Fletcher. I go. John and I are more current.

Between the two of us, I counted that we got between 30, 40 TV credits. You know, this ain't, no offense. Stuttering John and Bob Levy, I have real credits. No offense, Bob, I love you. But you're still taking that dollar, I say. Damn, shots fired at Bob Levy out of nowhere. And it's funny because Ardy was doing a tour

with JPM, J.J. Walker, who he back. earlier. He did a tour with Bob Levy, who he's bashing now. Yep. And it does come back to Mike Morris again. They calls out Mike again. You know what? Mike Morris is doing a podcast. Good for him. Okay. Well,

I performed in 16 countries. Good for me. So that's how I look at things. Okay. You know, I don't really care what people think. I know what kind of person I am. I know what done.

And I would, you know, and I'm a master's degree. Oh, they really are the same person. That's better than an associate's degree, according to Carl. They really are the same person. Like, Mike Morris says I'm a narcissist. Well, guess what? I have my master's degree and I perform in 16 countries. Okay, man.

America and 15 that ended in Stan. Yeah. I'm not sure he knows the difference between a state and a country. I'd like to give him a quiz, actually. I mean, they did perform in Wyoming was the episode we watched with him and Gallagher at the radio show. So he gets around that. We need this tour to happen, though. I would love it.

Because, A, we're going to get the tour. We're going to get the videos of the nonsense. Yep. And then B, we're going to get the aftermath. Oh, they're going to have a huge following out. Arty will be on point dabble points. Yes. Oh, my God.

He'll be trashing, John. Mike Morrison will be high-fiving. They'll be best friend. needs to happen. Oh my God. I would love it. Guys, I want to thank you both so much for coming over. Of course, we needed two people to fill in for producer Chris.

Big shoes to fill. But you guys are fantastic. Jody B. Catch him on a shitty song of the week. Yes. What do you got coming up? Google search shitty song of the week. We got a whole bunch of shit there, patreon.com back slash SSOTW. We actually just finished the first half qualifiers for the year.

So we got the first half of the bracket. It's a shitty music podcast where we bring songs. in and have them compete. And then at the end of the year, we have a big old bash to figure out the, you know, the final winner for the year.

And it's, it's a fun time, man. Me and my buddy, Red. Excellent. And Cardiff Electric, the great Cardiff Electric, you know where to find him

at Cardiff Electr. That's the place. Patreon.com slash Cardiff Electric BTH every Monday night. That's right. Worth checking out. We got some voicemails to get through and then I'm late for the Germany game.

Don't tell me what's, I'm assuming it's nil-0, but don't tell me. Seven nothing. No spoilers. Nine and nine. I go with you. I go to you. You did that. Epimopal, the little little tits. That's number three.

Gary and San Diego brings us the voicemail segment. It's a bunch of crap. Swing in a minute. Rock and roll. All right. I've been asking people if they beat off at work because someone told me that everyone beats off at work. And I'm everybody beats off at work, Cardiff? When don't I? Okay. I just ask it. Jody? Oh, try and stop me, Carl. All right. Everyone beats off at work. It turns out. You forgot to ask what I do.

for a living. What do you do for a living, buddy? I'm a 911 operator. Oh, you're a dispatcher? Yeah, for sure. I just sit around, jagging off all day while people call me and they're like, oh, my God, he's bleeding. And I go, yeah, I'm going to come.

Hold, please. I'll get right back to you. Yeah, sure. Call back in five minutes. Is he breathing? Great. Hello, Carl. I'm a supervisor at a nuclear power plant, and no, I do not need off at work.

However, for the previous 16 years when I was rotating shift, that said nuclear power plant, I've been off frequently on night shifts. Thanks. Keep it still. Feel free to talk into the microphone when you call the show. That would be helpful. Oh, he's at a power plant.

Maybe he's got one of those suits on. Is that Adam Bush? Is that Adam Bush? I have a feeling I know who this caller is right here. Oh, hey, girl. It's me. funny story for you I was sitting in my convertible car

listening to WATP episode 732 A classic Anyway Here's the funny part A guy came up to my car And said You can't park here

Okay Thanks Carl Pretty good story Voice sounds familiar for some reason That's not me That's what you're Suf is. It's a very good

Cardiff. I'm pretty sure that's Cardiff. All right. I'm sad that nobody does Gary and San Diego calls anymore. I've thought about it

so many times but I run out of steam but I just, I'm waiting to hear Hey Carl It's just me calling from heaven. I know,

that'd be great. Well, it's amazing because after Cardiff called about being and it's converted to the WTP we get someone else

with a different perspective on the same occurrence. Hey, Carl, it's me. Funny story for you. Some fat homo And a convertible Was parked in front of my house

And he was listening to your show I told him to hit the bricks Fatso Anyway You're a cunt That is the real OJ That was the real Cardiff And the real OJ

Both calling Ed It was Telling the same story It's wild Yeah he said This is Coomia country Hey Carl Guy Houston In regards to the jerkmate thing

some of us are just virile, horny, and cool. It's true. I don't hate. Play the job, Chris. Thanks. Oh, man. You know,

let's just face it. I'm virile, I'm horning, and I'm cool. I'm birrel, I'm horning, and I'm cool. I'm being cool. I'm being a cool. I'm fucking love that song, so much.

It's fucking great. You know, I'm trying to love it more right now. Oh. Morning. He isn't debated and sedated. He won't see a thing. Bye. I think that's a surgeon.

I don't think that's a good time to beat off, guys. There is definitely no surgeons or doctors that listen to the program, Carl. Except Dr. Steve. He's the only one. I was going to say, yeah, there's one. Excuse me. I don't know if he still has his medical license after Aaron Dibble. It's done with thumb button.

Facts. Don't beat off while you call into the show. I should probably clarify that. Don't want to hear that. Corey Feldman calling me out. Hey WATT, this is Corey Feldman. And this voicemail is specifically for Carl. You know, for all the shit that you guys and Jim and then and all the shit that you guys talk about my band and my music, at least I have one thing, Carl.

I don't play ahead of the bee. Oh, God. What's my mom? Don't come in that. Corey. That was really Corey Felton, by the way. Was that a fiber? Somebody had to spend a couple

buckaroos to get that one, I think. That was definitely Corey Feldman, for real. Nate hates his life. I wish I was Nate from Rochester because middle-aged local legends with slumpy shoulders playing instrumental surf rock chocked full of Simpson's references

happens to be my favorite style. Not a whole lot of accomplished guitarists in Flint. So if you guys can tack on a performance in October, that would mean I'd have a reason to keep this life going a little bit longer. Call me back. All right.

Nate and Flint, see what we can do. So, according to Aaron Hempholt, you have two nicknames. I'm not sure whether I should call you the Reddit Abortion Guy or the Abortion Reddit guy. Say what you would rather be called, Carl. Thank you, bye. The Reddit Abortion Guy sounds better, I think. That's not bad.

I only have two nicknames. A federal agent calls out to the show. Hey, Carl, I'm a federal agent, and when we're still training at an undisclosed location down south, our instructor had to point out, if we're going to jerk off out here in the field, don't do it here, where there's four surveillance cameras because someone, another agent got caught jerking off out there, and another station watching those cameras had to call our station and be like, hey, the guys out there are pounding off.

So, yeah, there's that. Carol doesn't shit at work. He doesn't pound off at work. What are you two all day, Carl? Are you amusing? Nope. All right. You got me there.

Maybe that's read the new thing we ask people. Have you gotten caught jerking off at work? Oh, that's a better question. Right. Like sale did on the Howard Stern show. That's a more interesting question. All right, guys, let's get the fuck out of here. Germany's playing.

I got to go. Bye. I got to go. I got to go. I got to go. I got to go. Okay, bye Why, every coast.

I love you, Carl. I love you too, Jody. Thanks for doing this, buddy.