Who Are These Podcasts? - Ep739 - HTBITY w/Corey Feldman, Artie Fletcher, Joe Matarese, Jerry Banfield, Hawk Tuah

Episode Date: June 28, 2026

This week we’re excited that crazy Hollywood reject Jamie Kennedy interviewed crazier Hollywood reject Corey Feldman. They get into a heated argument about which pedophiles are worse - Hollywood vs Jeffrey Epstein vs Pizzagate. The best part is when Corey explains that Jim and Them are being paid to make fun of him and that that should be against the law. Christian Bladt joins the show to present Artie Fletcher calling into to Mike Calta’s show. Mike called Artie out on his BS immediately and he never let off the gas, which is brilliant! Jerry Banfield apparently took a hit off a joint and started talking about how time is just a social construct, man! He’s so much dumber than he’ll ever know. Hawk Tuah is still making videos that no one could possibly care about. Please tell me she’s updating her resume. Joe Matarese keeps changing the format of his “Road Back to Philly” podcast. Now he’s comparing Philadelphia to Dan’s home state of Utah. What a show! We finish up with Internet News and your voicemails.  Support us, get bonus episodes, and watch live every Saturday and Wednesday: ⁠⁠http://bit.ly/watp-patreon⁠⁠ ⁠⁠https://watp.supercast.tech/⁠ Christian Bladt’s channel - https://www.youtube.com/@TheBladtcast  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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I told them in the strongest of words to just do it. You see, this is a, we just do it kind of show. When you've got them mad, that means you've got them. Well, that's retarded. Little bits. Little bit. Little bad. Edita.

Episode 7.39. Are you a boner guy? Oh, I was a boner guy. You know what? I miss penis. What are you talking about? I'm the one who should apologize. Is it going to be absolutely riveting?

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what amazoo. Welcome to another episode to this podcast. The only show that brings you down to your... No, no, no, no, the, no, the knees, knees. Ah, I'm your host, Carl. With me this week.

A man who's name roughly translated to, follower of Christ, it's Christian Blatt. What's up, Christian? Oh, hello there. Hello. Producer Chris is here as well. Gentlemen. Did you hear me the week you were out last weekend? And we played your intro, and I thought maybe you were saying 37?

Yeah, you were full of shit. Okay, I was wrong on that, right? But I was to do it again. I was like, nah, it's not him. It was some religious thing from Psalm 37. Oh. That guy clearly had an affectation. All right.

I don't do affectation. All right. I thought maybe you were doing an affectation. No, that guy didn't sound black, so there's no way it was. Right. Cracker. Please go to Who Arethys.com. Get our email address, voice phone number.

Link to our suburb. Link to our Discord server. Link to our merchandise link to our YouTube channel. And that link to Patreon and Supercast featuring two exclusive bonus episodes every month. I just recorded one this week. In fact, on Thursday. Dick Masterson and I did another fantastic crossover episode where we made fun of this British broad who thought she understood everything about bears in the woods. And we made fun of her.

And then we checked out this goth marketing chick that was pretty bizarre. She gave marketing advice for women or people who are questioning their gender. But no one else. Not Jerry Banfield? No. Okay. Well, he's a black man, so maybe. We encourage our listeners.

Give us five stars on Apple Podcasts or wherever you review podcasts and then shit all of us in the comment section. Today, we'll be reviewing, hate to break it to you. This is a suggestion from Jacob on Patreon. We've all listened. We have not discussed it. Let's get into it. It's a show hosted by Jamie Kennedy. That's right, that Jamie Kennedy.

And the guest on this episode that just dropped yesterday was Corey Feldman. and Corey Feldman was on the show back in September of 2025. It was posted for a day or a little more than a day, and then it was taken down, and then it was posted again, edited, and then it was taken down again. What happened? Well, apparently, when you have Corey Feldman on the show,

there's a certain protocol that you have to go by. And then I believe that, well, I don't want to talk about the other stuff. There's other stuff happening in your life. There's a lot of stuff happening with you. But not everything I want to talk about. Exactly. And that's, so, so we can discuss this. So what happened?

We did this amazing pod. It got 19,000 views. And then I, I fucked up because I didn't put it through your protocol. Right. So the protocol was just that like, I, okay, I'll be very honest with people so they understand. It's not necessarily a Jamie thing. And it's not necessarily a me thing. It's just sometimes you've got to do things to protect the innocent.

And I tend to, you know, be very open and just kind of say what's on. my mind and you tend to be very open and say what's on your mind and sometimes those things can be more than people can handle. Okay. So apparently something was said that someone heard and lost their fucking minds. You said what at Jamie Kennedy's show, Corey? You got to get that shit taken down immediately. And I'm guessing those people were probably, I don't know, attorneys. And that's it. So I think we may have just uncovered certain truths that people weren't ready for yet. And obviously my team got very nervous and the legal people got very nervous because we are dealing with some legal stuff right now surrounding the fake you mentory they put out and all that kind of stuff.

Okay. So there's a lot of legal stuff. So I can't get too into it, but I can at least touch on that and say, obviously, because of legal issues, that was why we had to pull the episode. So Corey's referring to the documentary, Corey Feldman versus the world that came out, what, last year, the year before. and so Corey, I guess, has lawsuits pending or something going on with those folks who interviewed, you know, former band members of Corrie's. And, you know, he's got those Corey's Angels.

Is that what they're called? Yeah. Yes. So he's got one of those chicks is in it and talks about the torturous touring they were doing. A lot of restrictions on them. And Corey doesn't like that information getting out. He calls it a fakeumentary, got to say, not the most. clever name. No. No, that's a, that's a

Melendez style nickname. I think that Corey could have workshoped that a little bit. By the way, I was a little disappointed. This is off-brand to blame the lawyers. I figured it was the Wolfpack, but it actually has nothing to do with the Wolfpack, shockingly. Shockingly, it doesn't, but don't worry. The Wolfpack will be getting blamed for things later out of this episode.

In fact, of course. They start calling out Jim and them pretty early on, and at first it's mass, and then later it's not. I think we've gotten lost people believe that attention online views followers is all that matters yes right and and and that's they don't even understand that's not a legacy but they they look at that bigger than a legacy and that's the thing is like oh well you're instagram famous oh you're youtube famous you're whatever

tictock famous yeah i mean it's cool but it's like it's not like gonna last wait did did you build your career on it yes did you spend countless Hours, like slaving underneath hot 5 and 10K lights being yelled at by directors, being yelled at by producers, like having to go to school in the trailer while you're working on the set, spending your whole life instead of going to school and auditions going, I mean, instead of going to school, going to auditions and working every day. Sounds to me, like Corey Feldman has paid his dues. I'm surprised.

He didn't ask, were you the head writer on the Kareem Abduljabov, roast? I don't think so. Right. This guy's a dues payer, and so he doesn't think that people who just get a following on social media are real celebrities. Because he's the one who's really famous, Jim and them, you haters. What do you think the directors were yelling at him? When are you going to start acting? Did you want to learn your lines at some point? Well, Corey's an artist, and art's very important to him, and he explains why that is.

But what we do, and people don't seem to get this. art is forever. Art is forever. So I don't care if it's an album, a TV show, a movie, a comic book. I don't care. If you make art, art is out there. And once it's out there, it lives out there for a lifetime, for eternity. That's the point of art so that you can't erase it.

You can't make it go away. But right now we live in a world where, okay, people become famous for not doing art, but just for being a personality. And now we also live in a world where we've got censorship that's destroying the art. And it doesn't live forever because now it's being censored. It's being burned and it's being thrown away. What in the hell is he talking about? Where is art getting censored now and being thrown away?

Well, I think he has a specific thought on that. But, yeah, a lot of things aren't being thrown away. He didn't mention podcasts, by the way. And Carl, I just want to say, I think you've done 738 pieces of art prior to. to today and he should be recognizing that. I agree. The bonus shows do all suck. I think what's your respect to. I didn't count WATB in there, did I?

Good point. So, Corey says, yeah, you know, they're censoring art. And then Jamie goes, huh? What do you mean by that? This is a weird example, I thought. A censorship, which party are you talking about? All of it. You talk about the most recent one?

Which one most recent one? Trump once doesn't like Kimmel. Okay. This is recorded back in April of this year. So it took a few months to come out. And the example of censoring art is that the FCC came down on Jimmy Kimmel for whatever joke he had. Yeah. About Charlie Kirk or something.

For about 36 hours, they really, you know, brought the hammer on Jimmy Kimmel, yes. But is that art? Jimmy Kimmel's show? I'd argue it's not. If that's what we're talking about, that age old question. I've seen a video of him as Carl Malone, and I would say that is definitely art. That's art. Yeah, the makeup artist did a good job on that.

But he says art is forever. Is the Tonight Show or the Jimmy Kim alive, are these things forever? Or a Corey Feldman guitar solo? Well, that, yeah, that might live. That might live on. I mean, it is forever if you're touring, showing the goonies, and stand by me for the rest of your life, which is what Corey is currently doing. going around to different cities and having people watch his movie and ask some questions

afterwards. And speaking of which, Dick Messerton was telling me Thursday night he went to go see Danny McBride who was doing like a Q&A thing. And he goes, I always have a great question for people. I'm going to ask him, what's your favorite insult you ever wrote to say to someone? Which is a great question for Danny McBride. And so I asked Dick the next day, I'm like, oh, what was his answer to that? He goes, dude, he didn't have an answer.

He was acting like a fucking hot shot writer. It's like, oh, that sucks. I don't want to hear Danny McBride take himself seriously. No. So I was disappointed to hear that. Let's hear about what happened when the previous episode had to be taken off the internet. Listen, I mean, do you want me to be on the fair side of the coin? No, I want you to be on the side of the coin that you're going to let me air the pot.

Yeah, exactly. Come on, bro. I don't want to fucking text to 3 a.m. Dude! I didn't mean to say. about Janet and LaToya. And that's not what happened. I know.

I like this idea of like the angry text coming at a three of get that shit down immediately. Like, who the fuck is that? Oh, it's Corey. Okay. Get right on that, sir. Jamie Kennedy a few times in this episode, it's just like, all right, are you going to let me leave this in the show? Is it okay that we just talked about that?

So it's very funny. He's on guard. He wants this episode to go up, obviously. Well, and I think that's why it was recorded. two months ago and we're finally seeing it. This time he's like, you know what, Corey, take your time. Let me know if there's any issues. But please actually watch it this time.

Yes, I think that is what happened because you're going to find out what the vetting process is for Corey Feldman's team. Corey starts talking about free speech. And at first, I'm like, right. Yeah. Free speech is free speech. There's no exceptions to that, right? And then there's some exceptions to that.

Do I agree with censoring anybody? No. I think that freedom of speech is free. of speech. I think the First Amendment is the First Amendment. I think that we should all have the right to say and do what we want outside of violent threats. I think when you get into violent threats, I think when you get into bullying and targeted harassment, that is no longer free speech. That is what it is. It's bullying and targeted harassment. Bullying is on the list of the... Come on. You'd act like a man, Corey.

He hurt feelings. Yeah. Someone says something that's really mean. That's not free speech. What am I following Trump for if not for the bullying? Right. Yeah. Oh, we can't call Rosie O'Donnell a fat pig now. Is that what you're telling me? Not cool.

Yeah, seriously. What country do I live in? Fuck this. So I just thought that was very funny because, you know, as you know, Corey is not happy with Jim and them and some other critics out there that tease him a bit online. He wants to shut it all down. So he's like, can we get rid of bullying? Can we add that as an amendment to the Constitution?

So Corey goes on to say, you know, freedom of speech, when the founding fathers came up with this concept, all that meant was if you wanted to stand in the town square and yell stuff, you can do that. They didn't realize, like, you can communicate with people all over the world very quickly, although the printing press did exist back then, so I think Corey's wrong about that. But he thinks that now the things have changed. We need to change the amendment. The things they were talking about.

They didn't expect that every single five seconds and everything that happened, we were going to to be writing it on social media and they also didn't expect that there was going to be people out there that would purposely create lies and misinformation to spread about everybody to make themselves feel good or feel cool or get points or get views or whatever it is. So now that we have that context that there's people out there that are willing to just completely trash and destroy people, they don't even know. You would think maybe we might need to put a cap on that. He totally lost me now.

It started with free speech is free speech. And it's like, we got to put a cap on some of this time. The speech is a little too free around here. You're asking me. Yeah. And in the 18th and 19th centuries, no one was saying anything that wasn't true. Every newspaper that was printed was 100% true. Yeah.

So this is a new turn of events. It's a brand new phenomenon that just started. Right. Notice he said something there that's a tell with every locale. They always go through this phase. Corey's still in it where he goes, people are saying shit about guys. they don't even know. These people have never even met me before.

It's like, you're a public figure who puts all of your shit out there. We don't have to do a meet and greet to make fun of you, do we? And you mean all of the shit. Yes. Except what we don't see. Everything's out there. He's been on reality shows. He's obviously performing in his band.

He goes on podcasts all the time, does interviews. Yeah, that's shit he's proud of, too. I know. So it's crazy to be like, and then, you know, our founding fathers didn't think that they'd be talking about someone they haven't even met before. They thought that the article. cool in the YouTube would just be like, my wife is a cunt. Well, he can say that. He lives with her.

That makes sense. Listen, I can't spend this dollar. I've never met President Washington. I'm sorry. How about Corey did Jimmy Kimball's pilot episode? And Corey goes, why would I do that? It's not going to air on television. They go, well, if you do the pilot, we'll have you back again.

And you'll be on TV. Kurt goes, all right, cool. So he does the pilot episode. By the way, he was like fifth or six down the list. like guys they were trying to get his guests on the show. So Corey does it. Never gets ass back again. Very distraught about this.

And Jamie goes, yeah, and you've been doing things that would make it seem like you'd be a good guest on there, things that you could promote, right? No, you had another show that was like it was sharks or something on CBS. Sharks, not sharks. Well, let's see, I was on Dancing with the Stars. He could have been on for that. Yeah, 100%.

No Sharks. No Sharks. No way. so there was no reason I could have been on for that. But let's see, what other shows? I mean, God, I've done a million things in the last 15 years. I mean, I don't know. A billion things, but I'm also thinking...

Could have been on for the release of my book. Could have been on for the release of any of my albums. Could have been on for my top 40 hit? I mean, my band could have performed. There's a million reasons in ways that I could have been on. I like that he thinks he's going to be the musical act. And tonight, the musical stylings of Corey Feldman. Carl, you've covered.

him for a while. What's his top 40 hit? I mean, is it a essential millennium? And I just didn't realize it charted higher than I did. I'm surprised he said only one top 40 hit because he claims to have many of them. But it's not like the pop charts. You have to go to like adult contemporary, but there's a subcategory of that somewhere. Oh, okay. Between Michael Bolton albums, he had something. It's very convoluted whenever he talks about his credits. It's hard to figure out where he's finding this information. I know that you're very proud of not fact checking on this show, but I thought it was crazy to hear that Corey had never been on. So I checked with the show producer, Grock. And it turns out, Corey Feldman was on the eighth episode of Jimmy Kim Alive, January 26, 2003,

with guests George Clooney and Snoop Dog. So, so, no, sorry, it was the eighth episode. He was not on the first episode, which was Clooney and Snoop Dog, but his, the eighth episode, February 4th, 2003, alongside Jeffrey Ross and punk pop band Simple Plan. So, you know, you can't actually find thousands of episodes Jimmy Kim alive, but according to Grock, he was on within like a couple weeks after that pilot. Oh, so they actually did go through with their promise of

letting him on the show. It's all the other times that he wanted to come on that they said no. Well, the part that's hilarious there is Dancing with the Stars, he lasted two episodes. He was the second guy kicked off of Dancing with the Stars. And for good reason. So why would he be out there to promote it? Like, you're going to have the people who are going deep into the contest as

the celebrities that come on the show. And he did a horrible job on that show. He put zero effort into it and can't dance with shit. That's the magic of Corey. He doesn't care about the quality. Yep. He just wants the credit. If you were to talk to talent bookers on these shows, I'm going to be surprised if none of them have ever asked.

I'm going to assume that Corey's like, I'm probably going to get goofed on. So I'm going to say no. Well, you got to remember. Corey has a message. And he explains. He's never been invited on any late night show. And it's because he's the one exposing all the pedophiles out there in Hollywood. And David Letterman's like, uh-uh, those are my buddies.

I don't know what that happening. We can expose those guys. So then he starts talking about Corey Hame's abuse. Of course, his movie The Truth, it details how Corey Hame was essayed by Charlie Sheen. It was a young, underage Corey Hame. And so Corey Hame's mom has come out and denied this and said, Corey Feltons bullshit. This did not happen.

And so they start talking about that. What's interesting in this clip is the hard edit. Jamie's team does a pretty good job. It's not easy to catch, but I certainly caught where the edit was. Am I allowed to ask you? It seems like his mother and you have some... Because you speak so beautifully of Corey. And then...

Here's the thing. Did you catch that? It was like a nice little quick switch over to the Corey Feldman camera. But all of a sudden, his demeanor's different. And they did a nice job with that. I'm guessing that Corey is like, dude, we're not going. Yeah. It sounded like the tail end of a sentence there.

Yeah. Yeah. So whatever that was, that was definitely edited out. Here's the final conversation that Corey Hayme had with Corey Feldman before he died. Now, in Corey's final year, him and the other Corey did not see each other. So a year before he died, he had this conversation with Corey Feldman. dude we're taking a year off of our friendship that's per you you wanted to take the year off I'm just telling you in one year I might not be here so if this is the last time we see each other

I want you to give me your word right now that if I'm dead in a year you will make sure that this story gets out so I said okay court if you're really dead in one year I'll tell you story. And that's how it happened. How convenient. Yeah, it's a good thing that I didn't have that conversation like three years before he died. Right. Because they're like, no, I can't tell the story anymore.

Oh, you're still alive. Oh, shit. Is that crazy? Why would he say, why would anyone ever have that conversation? Listen, I want you to out Charlie Sheen, but only in a year and only if I'm already dead. Yeah. Is there a cause of death that you know about? Nope, nope, not getting too strict with these rules.

However it happens. It's fine. Prister Chris, can we have conversations like that sometime? I thought we did. Yeah, I want to come out

and reveal some crazy shit. So what Chris told me to say is that Christian Blatt touched him inappropriately. Right, right, right. In a year. You're not dead yet. My bad, my bad.

Yeah, yeah. This isn't the time, man. All right, so talking about how they put out the last episode and it was immediately yanked from the internet and how that happened. How are you doing? Because you sat at some stuff

and I was like, you said you got these people that come after you and then by me putting it out it did very well and then I messed up so then I well but you put it out because we'll be clear the deal was that you weren't going to put it out till I got a chance to review it to make sure there was nothing dangerous I don't messed that so that's why we had to pull it yes because there were things that were dangerous and we had to pull it and I pulled it and um but you told me about people that are watching you and I was like come on come on I mean people we all have stuff people thought I was being paranoid well

No, I listen to have my own problems And we're all a little schizo Because of so long in the business, right? I don't know if I'm schizo, I'm pretty centered Okay I think Jamie's trying to be like a body here, you know It's like, we're all a little paranoid We all think the wolf packs after us

You know, there's different degrees of wolf packs being after us Corey can't roll with shit No, it's like hey man, I'm schizo, you're schizo, I'm not fucking Schizo, motherfucker, all right No, that's what we always hear about Corey Is how centered he is And how focused, yeah, exactly Right. So Corey's team needed to review it first.

And I'm guessing, based on what we were just talking about, Christian, how this was recorded back in April, possibly late March. And it took this long for it to come out. Maybe Corey sat out it too long. And eventually it's like, I guess it's fine. Yeah. I guess we'll just put it out then. I don't know. Which I would assume is what happened the last time, is that Jamie sent the link over to whoever Corey's people are and didn't hear anything.

I guess we're putting it out. No, no, no, don't put that out. Oh, I thought you meant for this one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. So I'm sure this time they made sure they got the approval. Like, all right, we're putting this up, man. All right, you're good?

I wonder if how that works with his direct-to-d-d-d-movies. He's like, I don't even remember doing that. Let's just put it out. It was so long ago. Yeah, I pulled this off the web immediately because I wasn't sure how long this was going to say that. I was afraid that while I was watching it, it was going to disappear, actually. Right. So then they start talking.

talking about Jim and them specifically. Now, our history with Jim and them, I've been on their show. Jim's been on this show a couple of times now. We are in Vegas together at Hackamania. Those guys are out of Vegas. So we get to hang out with them a little bit. Great guys. Do a great podcast.

Really breaking down all of the Corey content that's out there. And Corey is not a fan of theirs. You did have these people that were just gunning for you. And I was bizarrely bizarre. They still are. I don't understand it. They're paid opposition. Is that 100%?

So these grown men, let me ask you. Let me ask you. You're a production guy. Yeah. 15 years, you only have 30,000 viewers, 30,000 subs. Me? No, no, no, no, no. Put yourself in this mental place.

You've got 30,000 subs, but you're doing a show for 15 years and you only have one topic. Holy shit, you're so right. Either that or people are in love with you. Well, I'm just saying, how can you financially support the idea? I messaged Jim when I heard this, and I said, first I'm offended for you with 30,000 subs. They're getting close to 50,000. So that's just taking a shot at that for no reason.

But I didn't realize that they were paid opposition. And that Jim and them are actually getting paid by pedophiles to do their show. I don't know if I want to associate with them anymore. Could be good money. Or I could ask them for a referral. That's a good point. The checks they get actually have the Pizza Gate will go on. Right.

Who, hey, pedophiles. Who else be mad at? Paris Hilton and my chance? Who else can we go after? Listen, there's people you could make the case that maybe you can't do a whole show talking about just that Maronam Holt. But I think that Corey Feldman, you know, Jim and them could probably do a five-day-a-week show. There's enough stuff out there where I think they'd be fine.

That's funny. I didn't even think about that. They do a weekly show. I do a weekly show about one person, at least two of them now, right? Maybe three. It's crazy. They could read his book. Right.

It's a good idea. And so Corey's been digging deep into what's going on with Jim and them and their other co-conspirators. Nothing better to do in your life than just keep assaulting and attacking this person because you just hate him so much, even though you've never met him, but you just hate him so much that you've got to do this for 15 years. I don't want to give people too much time with that. But my question is, have you ever approached them and say, hey, why do you do this? Or you don't want to give it the energy. Yeah. No, it makes sense.

It's crazy. It is crazy. It is crazy. And they're not the only ones, by the way. There's three of them. I saw one or two. And the worst part is when you start doing the research, you start to realize that there's connections. Uh-oh.

Uh-oh. So here's what I'm reading into this one. Drew Lane is talking about Corey at you two quite a bit. And then Drew and Jim are buddies. And Jim comes on my show. And then I go on Drew's show. And Corey's connected these fucking dots. Contagious.

Yeah, he's got it all figured out. He's like, and then there's this fucking ass. in Rochester and here's Detroit, Vegas. He's got the bulletin board. Yeah, exactly. Let's give a very friendly, hi, Corey, hi, Corey's lawyers. Thanks for watching. Thanks for being here, guys.

All right, so then they get into a fight about Pizza Gate that's actually quite entertaining. This is my favorite part of the show. It's so funny because Corey Feldman's all about like, we got to expose the pedophiles. And Jamie Kennedy is like this big QAnonon conspiracy guy. she was like what do you think about this pizza gate thing course like stupid it's all bullshit he's like what do you mean that's how bullshit it's the fucking craziest thing

that's come out of course he's like eh I don't think so I don't know anything about that we gotta take Charlie Sheed down what are we talking about pizza gate you know he gets a shit about that so it's very funny because Jamie Kennedy argues with him for a while and they start talking about Epstein and the Epstein files and again Corey's like

so people wrote on an airplane and what are we going to do arrest everyone ever run out of the airplane It's very funny Because they do not see eye to eye on that I think Jamie was like all excited He's like oh cool I don't like pedophiles either We could like totally be buds over this top

Corey you're a nut So that did not go well for them And then after that conversation They get into the fact that Corey is being silenced So he's talked about this quite a bit Not being booked on shows The Hollywood does not want him out there

And this is one of the ways that they've done that And we know that they've done everything that they can to silence me for decades. This hasn't just started. This has been going on forever. Put me on another sloppy reality show. Make me play myself. Oh, you don't have to do that now. I don't because I made the choice.

I made the choice that I would rise above it and not do it. So, Corey, Hollywood had silenced you. What did they done so that you can't get your voice out there? They put me on reality TV shows, playing myself. My hands were tied. that's like something at the opposite of being silenced right dancing with the stars a show that literally no one watches what's he talking about in the confession room

help so that seemed a little bit wackadoo to me and they get into a discussion about the current state of Hollywood and Corey and Jamie do not agree on this at all this gets very funny a little heated debate but now the public is keen to this shit

It doesn't matter. And the studios still run the... Less and last, buddy. Okay, well, are you working? I'm right. Ouch. Not regularly, but I'm working. Have you been hired recently by a studio?

No. But what are you there? I'm not trans. Come on. That's very funny. The studios run everything. No, they don't. What are you talking about?

They do. Are you fucking working? Ah, you got me there. Not as much. No, I'm doing this podcast. podcast for 4,000 people. Shucks. So you heard him say at the end there, he's like,

I can't get a role. I'm not trans. And he goes on to talk about what's going on with Hollywood and their wokeness here. And Jamie leans right. I'm sure you're all recognizing that with the pizza gate conspiracies and stuff. And he says something very funny,

especially you can tell he's still in Hollywood. Or still wants to be in Hollywood. By what he says at the end. I don't have a look of like, you know, I'm white. That just happens. There's other things. They wouldn't see me for a gay role because they said, I'm not gay.

And my agent goes, he can act gay. And they go, we want a real gay person. So that's just new. And that's good. But so, if I'm not gay, I can't play a gay person. That's a new fucking thing they just came up with, which is great. There's anything wrong with that. I love our Hollywood overlords.

Let's turn the lights out, Jamie. Show us how gay you can act, if you don't mind. I don't hear enough slurping. All right. So did you get after that when Jamie says, name three movies you could have been on lately? He's asking Corey that. And he's, who could you have been in Project Hail Mary?

He's like, I didn't see it. And then he says, who could you have been in the Mario Brothers movie? He said, I could have been one of the Mario brothers. Corey said that. And then when Jamie realized, oh, I'm dealing with an eagle maniac. Yeah. I forgot. Yeah.

Corey's like, I've been the star of the movie. What do you mean? Who else are I going to be? Bowser? No, no, no. This is very funny. Jamie catches himself. To say,

to just, the whole business has changed. So, A, for you to act like the business is not change is crazy. I'm not saying, and you're making me seem like

I'm bitter, which I'm not. No, no, no, no. No one can make you seem like you're bitter. Especially not Corey Feldman. Yeah. You're going to be selling a crazy person.

Has been over here. Nothing about doing this in that blue hat with an unbuttoned Hawaiian shirt, says that you're bitter. Nothing about this looks bitter. Don't worry, Jamie. He is very relaxed.

I'll give him that. So then they get back into Epstein talk. And it turns out, Corey actually is very interested in the victims. What I'm saying, don't get me started. Let's go here for a second

because you said Epstein. The Epstein, you understand that that is very real. Well, of course. And you understand that. I'm fighting. for survivors constantly.

Do you understand that nothing's happening? Yeah, of course. And am I furious? Of course. Okay. So. I'm actually writing a song right now. Got it.

For survivors. It's called, of course. I've heard about Epstein. I fucking heard about Epstein, J.V. I've heard about Epstein. He's writing a song about the survivors of pedophilia. There aren't a lot of songs. like that. The only I can think of is unskiny bop

by poison. I don't know if you knew that. Yeah. That's what that song's about. I don't think Corey's got anything that good in him though. He won't have that kind of hook. That's for sure. So this is great because after Corey says, I'm writing a song about the upseat victims. I don't think he gets the reaction from Jamie he was expecting.

Okay. Yeah. My song for survivors, which I'm trying to actually get a bunch of people are going to potentially come for you on that one. I don't care. Okay, because they're going to be like you're using them to write a song. Using them? Yes.

No, I'm raising money for them. Okay, that's beautiful. Yeah. Make sure you say that. Jamie has his publicist. It's like, okay, cool. Don't I think you're profiting off of these victims of pedophilia. That's going to be a real problem for you.

No, no, no, no. I'm raising money for them. Well, okay, but raise some money for yourself too. Get yourself something. Yeah, yeah. All right, so they start trying to get on the same page as far as politics goes. And everything that Jamie throws out there. Of course, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm with you on that.

So it seems like they're kind of like getting on the same page. That quickly turns into conspiracy talk. And that's when things get wild. You obviously believe that pedophilia and all this dark shit is real, obviously. I know it's real. You know, I just believe it. I know it's real. And that Satanism is around and thriving.

It's very real and very, yes, unfortunately. And the sting is being done, we pull that down, is because part of it, would you say is because of there's this dark sickness, obviously sickness, but there's also people that have these beliefs by practicing this shit? Well, you know, from what I've heard, I don't do it. I'm not part of it. I don't know much about it, but what I've been doing my research and what I've learned lately is that what they're doing is they're worshipping an ancient deity named Ball.

Oh, yeah. See, how we say that at any time Ball. And Ball has a lot to do with child sacrifice. Yeah. Okay. And they believe they aren't getting powers. And if you look up NASA, that's all true of how it was started and all that shit. Do you notice how Jamie's entire demeanor and character has changed?

All of a sudden, he's not like, wild wacky Jamie Kennedy. Hey, we're doing a show together. How about this? And he's like, all right? So here's the deal. You know like there's Satanism, right? And that's why they're like raping children. It's because of this deity being ball.

You're familiar with this thing? And finally they're on the same page. Yeah, and they're both like, yeah, yeah. And all of a sudden they're like, yeah, yeah, I know about this. So if you say it quiet, people won't hear it on the internet. You fucking know all about this shit. Has this guy been on Alex Jones' show?

Because he should really book. He should definitely be on there, yes. I would love to hear him explore this more. Because Corey's just like, yeah, no, I know about this, but I don't want to get to NASA. Talk to my son about NASA. He'd be excited about that. And actually, Corey brings up something

that Jamie loses his mind about. He gets very pissed off. Yes, but I also think court talking can be faked. AI. We're getting them from Snopes. Not in those days. Snopes!

Five years ago we didn't have AI. Snopes! Yes. You just lost our credibility. Snopes is fucking a total reverse sci-op. It is? Yes! Snopes is run, I'm pretty sure, by two X porn stars.

What? Yes! Who? I don't fucking know their names. Who told you that? You can read about it. Snopes is not a good source. So you're telling me all the documentation, even though it's...

Snopes is bullshit. But it's straight argumentation. Anyone in the real truth or community that go deep will say Snopes is absolute bullshit. He does not help me as argue it at all. I agree with the Snopes is bullshit. But then when he goes, it's run back's porn stars. Who?

Who told you that? I don't know. You can read about it, I guess. Do your research. Yeah. Well, how do you know the Stopes doesn't work isn't real? The truth or community says it's not. Yeah, fuck.

You're losing about all these points. Well, why would it matter of ex-porn stars were running a website? And he said Corey lost all his credibility. Yeah, I know, right? And he immediately loses all credibility on that. This next question is fantastic. I appreciated it quite a bit, especially the way Corey answers this question.

Do you believe in the Illuminati? Who? I'm going to turn that shit right on you, bro. I do. I do. I know you do. I do. I know you do.

I've never been invited. Yeah. that's not something I'm going to talk about today. Sounds like Corey's been invited into the album. Sounds like he got the invite. Or he really doesn't know what Jamie's talking about. If he did talk about it, we wouldn't have gotten to see this episode. So I'm glad he kept his mouth shut.

Well, I think Corey doesn't know what he's talking about because he says something right after that, that might be true. That's why I do my part. And that's why I continue expressing and shedding light on things where I feel safe to do so. Okay. However, I'm also not stupid, and I'm not going to say things that are going to get me killed. Because there are things that you can say that just all of a sudden make you just suicided one day. And we all know this.

So that tells me right there that Corey definitely knows about the Illimidati and will not be talking about it anytime soon. Maybe on his deathbed he'll tell a buddy who's no longer friends with to talk about it in a year. We can only help. Fingers crossed. Who's he friends with, though? I can't imagine. There's anyone that he could actually say that. He's got that girlfriend.

And actually, the girlfriend just put out an album that Corey produced and performs on. They do a duet. And I'm sure you've heard the album. Did you hear my last DEP, by the way? The Beatle one? Do you pay a little bit of it? That was it. I want to get it.

I want to get it. And the Adrian Sky EP. I've been so busy. You know, Adrian Sky, we put out her EP like in November, December, And that was your girlfriend. And, you know, I produced it. And I wrote the music for her. We even did a duet.

So that came out. That was pretty successful. That was the first other artist I put out under my label. So that was a big deal. Adrian Sky, his girlfriend. Yeah. Is the only other artist he's put out under his label. It was a big deal.

I'm sure it's because she's talented. I'm sure she earned it. It might have been two times ago when I was on, but he was on with her on Tori Spelling's podcast and we listened to that. And it went so badly he had to come back on the next day and try to let her talk some more.

Right. Do you remember that? Yeah. Yeah. So. Cutting her off because she's a fucking idiot. I'm surprised that her album hasn't caught on after. He just said it was successful. Oh. Christian? Did you not hear that? No, you know what? I was too busy checking things on Snopes.

That's on me though. I'd be curious when, you know, Jamie's a nice guy, but I'd be like, what do you mean by successful? How do you measure that? What's the measurement for that? Your friends told you'll be like that. Is it views, streams, downloads? What are we looking at?

Yeah, what am I talking about here? I feel rich inside. The Jerry Paniel response. So, Jamie's getting real heavy with a lot of the conversation. And his transition, he knows he has to do this. This is required to whenever you have Corey Feldman on your show. So he's like, I, we'll get to this part. Okay.

I want to talk about your music. That's a good topic. I know you love it. You love it, dude. I do love it. And you've been on Tori open for Fred all last summer. Yes.

Fred and I have a new song. You do? Yes. Because he just put one out of MGK. Yeah, I know. So when does yours come out? I don't know yet. That's dope.

I put it out a teaser for it. It's sick. I'll play it for you in the car if you want to go. Okay. It's really good. I got like this monster rock band. We have like a super group of like monster rockers and they're all on, you know,

they're all playing. That's good. Hey, you guitarist, you want to play that guitar? I could if you want, yeah, sure. Can you dress like a monster? So Corey explains he's written a song and recorded a song with Fred Durst. And it's funny because Jamie's like, really? Because he just did a song with Machine Gun Kelly, like an actual musical artist.

You sure he wants to do it with Corey Feldman, too? That sounds crazy. This is a good one, Jamie. That's what I'm talking about. Well, it's not out yet. I did do some looking and then do a tariff. of looking and wanted to hear what it sounded like, but apparently when, do you have something, Christian?

Well, did you grab one he said who he originally went out to before? Yeah. Okay. I want to make sure you have that. I don't have the clip. No. Oh, okay. Well, yeah.

I mean, I guess it doesn't matter. I could play it. But, I mean, he basically says that he didn't go out to Mike Patton from Faith No More because he's involved in some of the Satanism. And I wore a shirt proving that point. This is my eye pitchfork, Faith No More. So obviously they are Satan. and Corey's correct.

I'm more of a Mr. Bungle guy. Yeah. Why, they didn't have his good shirts, so. Fair enough. But yeah, he goes, he goes, I had this rap part for the song. Yeah. Then I recorded with these monster rockers. So I'm sure that they love that.

And he's like, I was going to get Mike Patton, but then I thought, ah, the Satan doesn't think. Not so much. I'll get Fred Durst. Yeah. Real talented rapper. Keeping it clean. Did you imagine what Mike would think about being put in the same category as Fred Durst?

I think he'd be pissed about that. I think he would be offended. That's true. It would be offended getting a call from Corey Feldman, I think. Yeah, that'd be the worst part. So, Corey's busy. He's on tour. He's on lots of tours.

He claims that he's on four different tours at once. You're doing Goonies Live. Goonies Live. Stand by Me Live. Then we've got the Fan Expo tour that I'm doing right now, which is, you know, fan expo, right? They signed you for a bunch of them. Yeah. And then you're doing music.

For a contract of 10 of them. And then the music shows that we're trying to set up for the summer. So, yeah. Busy. So this Fan Expo thing, they talk about that for a while. Like, isn't this great? Like, all these people just come up and they remember your work from a long time ago. They tell you how great you are.

Like, yeah, I love it. Both of them are just like, it's pretty fucking cool. A bunch of people just, like, give you money to get a photo with you and stuff. How was that any different from the stand by me or the Goonies thing? You don't have to watch a movie. Oh! Just get your photo. Sign me up.

In an hour, think about how many people can walk out to him, give him. I was going to say $100. I bet he charges more for a photo than that. You know. Corey Feldman? Yeah. That's interesting. I'd be curious to know.

Mark Hamill charges $950 for a photo. So he doesn't take photos is what you're telling me. No, you would think that. But yeah. Luke Skywalker's a little bit more iconic than the kid from Gremlins. I mean, he was also in Lost Boys, Carl.

He wasn't an important character in Lost Boys. He was like one of the dorks. who are we talking about i don't know gorg hamill i think yeah mark that was important to roll in lost boys reuse the force well no it's so apparently he does charge

between 100 to 120 quarry so good for him but still he can really you know turn those out in the course of an hour so i think that's probably why he loves those as much as he does he doesn't actually have to do anything he said that the the goonies and the stand-by-me screenings played a between between 750 and 3,000 people in these theaters. Yeah, they go to. I believe the 750.

I believe that too. He came to the Kodak Theater here in Rochester. Yeah, we went to Atlantic City. I know. I know. We're in Atlantic City. Having zero fun. Yeah, that sucked.

Droopy nuts says Christian is the worst. Has he gotten Dennis Miller on your show yet? He's gotten them on my channel. He's been on his channel. He's been on his channel. He doesn't do hardly anything, but I have gotten him on this channel. I don't think we'd get Dennis Miller to start cracking wise. over some comedians podcast.

Is this guy a loser, Dennis? What do you think? I can send him some Opie clips, see what he thinks. There you go. Drew Bidusses, Carl, do you think Christian is entertaining? Yeah, of course I think that. Otherwise, he wouldn't be on this program right now. Labyrinth.

Hey, Corey, what about contemporary art permanent? No, art is the monologue jokes of the Jimmy Kimmel show. That is how you quantify art. Visit BetMDM casino and check out the newest exclusive. right fortune pick. BetMGM and GameSense remind you to play responsibly 19 plus to wager. Ontario only. Please play responsibly.

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All right, Christian, you brought in something that's very important that we need to get into. I think we're more like Monty Python's flying circus. We do bits and pieces, bits and pieces. Pits and pieces, bits and pieces, bits and pieces. That's a good one. Mike Kelta hosts a show down in Tampa. Been a radio guy forever. And, you know, we featured him on this show before.

He was doing a podcast with his wife for a little while. Yeah. That was embarrassing. But Mike was a good sport about it. He invited me on a show. I did a phoneer on Mike Helta's show. So he seems like one of the good ones. Then you immediately swore.

Yeah, I did. Not used to being on the radio. So does he still do that show with his wife? or did he learn for? Okay, that's what I thought. He learned. She hated it. And then she's getting made fun. She's like, why am I doing this?

Good question. Yeah, so they stopped doing that. But back in 2021, because Artie lives in the Tampa area. And so he was a guest on Mike Kelta's show. What are we looking at here, Christian? Well, so he's eventually a guest. So the way that this starts is that they come back from commercial and Calta talks about how he saw an ad on Facebook. for a show that was coming up in the Tampa area,

and it was called The Legends of Comedy Tour, featuring Jimmy J.J. Walker and Artie Fletcher. So he's going to start talking to his audience and everyone there in the studio in my clip one. If I said to you Living Legend of Comedy and the name Artie Fletcher, would that mean anything to anybody? Anyone in our listening audience? Is there anybody here that thinks that Artie Fletcher?

Now, Arnie Fletcher is a comedian, according to him, that goes by the name, calls himself the New York bad boy, which right there should tell you it's going to be awful. Everything about it is going to be awful. To anybody who refers to themselves as a New York bad boy, also, Arnie Fletcher is like 75 years old and fat and dumpy looking. There's nothing bad about him except his bad appearance. And this ad pops up. It says, don't miss. this amazing night of comedy with two

Hollywood legends. Hold on a second. I'm guessing that Mike didn't know about all the TV credits that Artie Fletcher has and he gets up to speed and apologizes for this. Well, I think that he did need to be educated and in a clip two, yes, it takes like a minute but it's because Artie has so many credits, Carl, that clip two is so long.

Artie Fletcher. I'm reading from the ad again. One of the most talked about must-see performers. You've got to be kidding. Known for Law and Order. Now, if I were to say to you, Chris Maloney, he's known for Law and Order. By the way, I have seen every Law and Order. I know Law & Order. No idea what Artie Fletcher was ever on Law & Law.

I even Googled it, and there's no image of the scene or anything. I'm looking... I turned down a spot on Law and Order. Robert Kelly did Law & Order twice and played two different characters on Law & Order. I've seen Robert Kelly. Yeah, getting on Law & Order, not that hard.

You just have to live in New York and know how to act a little. Are you guys, I'm looking at IMDB. Are you guys saying you don't remember Stan from Law & Order? No. There was one episode in 2001. Well, that's what he's known for.

Law & Order. You know one of the most talked about must-see performers known for Law & Order. Season 11, Episode 16. Stan. Yeah. We all remember Stan

from that one episode of Law and Order. I don't know Chris Maloney. That woman's a big Law & Order fan that that guy is, because I would they not know Artie Fletcher. What of the important scene that was. He's it all the time. Yeah.

So let's go ahead and jump ahead to clip five. And Calta is going to ask everyone there in the studio what they think it costs to see Jimmy J.J. Walker and Artie Fletcher. There's no Gallagher on this tour, no one else.

It's just the two of them. And we'll play a game, and you guys can guess after the studio does. Basically, Artie Fletcher is a big fat liar. Now, if I said to you, these two Hollywood legends, Jimmy Walker and Artie Fletcher, are going to be performing together. How much does that cost? But I will tell you this, it includes one-house beverage. And there's limited seating, and tickets are available for the Living Legends Comedy Tour.

How much does that cost? $18. $25 with the drink included. All right. So those are the guesses, right? Those are the guesses. Yeah. So the answer will be in the next clip.

Can I guess? Yes, please do. Because he brought it up and obviously they're playing along like you're supposed to. Yeah. Because he brought it up, I'm going to guess it's over 40 bucks. Oh. I'm going to guess it's 45. Okay.

What do you think, Chris? One dollar. I mean, the drink. concluded. All right. Definitely the drink. So let's see. I like limited seating. Like, yeah, no shit. Yeah. Unlimited seating. It's not a paper view.

It's limited seating. The price to see Living Legends, Hollywood icons, Artie Fletcher, and Jimmy J.J. Walker. $55 per person. $55 scam artist dollars per person.

Now, what if Artie wasn't on the bill? What would it cost to just see Jimmy James. 60. And look, I don't think that Gallagher's a draw, but if you told me it was Jimmy Walker and Gallagher and there's no mention of Artie Fletcher,

I'd be like, all right, that sounds high, but you know, that's probably what they both, you know, they both can't. You're right. Seriously, we're talking well? We're talking top shelf? Reposado. It's probably draft beer, if I, domestic, if I had to guess. Yeah. So, they spend a lot of time

talking about this. And then because, you know, Caltes there in Tampa. He knows Artie. They're able to get Artie on the phone for our clip 7. That's awesome. Artie Fletcher. Mike Colta. You're live on the air. Please don't use your potty mouth.

You are the New York bad boy. Oh, God, a ball down bike. I'm 66. Come on, man. Oh, I would have thought you're old one. I know, right? I feel it. I feel it. Now, Artie. I don't know. Yeah. I was on Facebook last night,

and I saw that you have an upcoming show with Jimmy J.J. That's correct. Does he live down here now? No, he lives in Las Vegas. Oh, I know he's here every once in a while. He seems like he comes through a lot. He comes here about, we try to do this.

There's a third part of this show where we had Gabe Kaplan. Oh, now that's a bad guy. Sure. Yeah, the only problem with him, though, Mike, is the guy is a raised poker player. He's got money. He's got big money. So he only really likes to do the Jewish area. the synagogues, and then Jimmy and I do the rest.

Nice to be with his people. So I've never heard Gabe Kaplan as one of, you know, on the roster. I know about Rain Wilson. I don't think that lasted very long. Not Rain Wilson. Rain Pryor. Right. Rain Wilson might have gotten some tickets.

But Gabe Kaplan, I knew he was a poker player. I've heard about that. But he likes to play the synagogues, Carl. Because he's got so much money. I thought it was real. and then, you know, I've heard these clips a few times in preparing them. I think it's a joke. I think that was a joke.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a bad attempt at one. Yeah, definitely. So, but Gabe Kaplan's not on this. So in clip A, Calta really wants to know why this tour is called what it is. Okay. I do have, I do have some issues. At one point, at what point are we calling this the Living Legends tour?

What among you guys are legendary? Well, you got to give a. wouldn't you say Jimmy? I mean, if you think about it, Jimmy holds a record, he's on every, he's on television, every, like, every single day he's on somewhere or the other. I'll give you the benefit of that. Good times is very popular. I will give you the Jimmy.

So you should call it the Living Legend tour with Artie. I'm going to pause it real quick. Yeah, yeah, please do it. What kind of statistic is that? Every day he's out in one place or another. I mean, if you're going to say around the world, I'll be like, okay, you know what? And that's what Calta does. It's like, you know, I'm just going to give you that.

Right. You know, maybe. But, I mean, what was the last time? And I know people don't flip through the channels the way they used to. But when was the last time you saw a screen anywhere and good times was on, you know? Not in this century. Yeah, right. Not in the century for sure.

Yeah. Different strokes, sure, but never good times, you know. So you should call it the Living Legend tour with Artie Fletcher. You're right. I know. And then. And then it says, wait, hold on. I got more.

I got questions. It says, don't miss the amazing night of comedy with two Hollywood legends. Hollywood. I think about that, too. I got to agree with you on that one. All right. All right. So far,

you're being very agreeable already. I like this. Yeah. Guys trying to sell tickets. Sometimes you have to stretch the truth a little bit. I get you. But I didn't do that, Mike. I didn't place that.

Who did that? It's very typical of you. You do this stuff a lot. New Yorker. All right. I'm also in New Yorker, but not a liar. Okay. Did Artie Fletcher have no control over how this is promoted?

Is that what he's pretending? He's just like, yeah, I don't know who put that. Hollywood. At one point, they go through the ad copy compared to Artie Fletcher.com, and it's the same. So he definitely wrote it. I keep having the same guy to write this stuff, but he really sucks out of that. Yeah, and Calta does a lot of those, you know, like good under his breath. Like, yeah, I'm in New Yorker, but I'm not a liar, you know?

And I guess because Artie's only 66, he still can't hear that. One thing that they go through is he talks about how he's in all these sketches on Conan, and Calta's wondering why that's not on the website. And then he asked him about Letterman. Now, this was the clip that you played as the tease on Wednesday, but I think it's important to the overall story clip 11. All right. What about Letterman?

When were you on Letterman? Okay. I was on Letterman. I also did sketch on Letterman, too. But I filled this for a guy named Mike Sweeney. This is probably why you were still in, And you probably only about 300 pounds, but... Be more of that humor at the safety harbor spot.

Oh, yeah, I'm going to do my own mic, my home mic comedy. When a fat guy calls another guy fat, great comedy. Go ahead. I'm 66 years old. Just cut to the chase. Did you do stand up on Letterman or not? Yes, sir. Where is that video?

In three minutes. Oh, my God. I'll find it for you, Mike. Well, why would you not lead with that? Why wouldn't that be all over your website? All right, forget it. I'm going to do more fact-checking. Mike Sweeney.

I'm no Adam Bush, but I do know a little bit about show business. Mike Sweeney was a writer on late night with Conan O'Brien and eventually became the head writer. He had nothing to do with Letterman. So he's got the name Mike Sweeney, but he's like, yeah, I filled in for him on Letterman. No, I mean, he didn't work on, he worked on Conan for like 30 years or pretty close to it. And do, like, some sketches and stuff on Conan? Is that what he's saying? Like, they just needed a body on stage?

Well, I think that that's accurate. Later on, we're going to hear how Artie turned up on Letterman. We get a pretty good explanation. Okay, good. Because Mike Sweeney, if I'm picturing the right person, it's not the same body type as an Arnie Fletcher. He's got gray hair, and he would be like Abe Lincoln in sketches, Mike Sweet. Yeah, that's, yeah, and he would warm up the crowd for years. So the topic of Artie Fletcher's Tonight Show appearance is going to come up.

And I thought you might want to remind people what the Tonight Show. appearances, so I included my 12A. We don't have to play the whole thing, but we have the video of Artie Fletcher's Tonight Show appearance with the great Jay Leno. The Tonight Show with Jay Leno. The show was much better when Ed Hall was the announcer. And now, Jay Leno. I've also welcome to the Tonight Show on NBC, broadcasts on the NBC experience at Rockefeller Plaza. I'm Jay Leno. We're all in for a real treat tonight. Sitting on my right, very distinguished guests.

So what can you tell us about yourself? My name is Ardy Fletcher. I thought this was Conan O'Brien. Oh, that is fascinating. Now, where are you from? My name is Arty Fletcher. I thought this was Conan O'Brien. You can pause it there.

I think Vinnie brought this on the show when we were introduced to be with Artie Fletcher. So he did one of these Tonight Show tours where you get to sit down to the chair and then they make this video for you after the fact. makes look like you're a guest on the show and he posted it on the internet. Yes, he posted it on the internet and

the producer for Caltes show finds this and is watching it while they're talking and that is 12B. Oh, good. So he has a video of him sitting on the Tonight Show, the chair there with Jay Leno, but he's superimposed. No. It's not a real video. Where is that? That's on his acting reel

that's down the bottom. It's the last one on the right. it is four minutes and 39 seconds in it's so fake artie come on arty oh this is funny because you get out because you guys don't know you're talking about is that real or is it fairer listen to me sarah silver don't know briah it's a jane i'm so long ago y'allel why don't you bring that up hold on a second what was the word he was using that i don't know sarah suhran did what to conan so the so here here's again you know listen i wasn't business in 1999, which is when these videos are from.

You were a page. I know. Yeah. No, exactly. I was around show business. Hey, I got a check. And at the NBC Experience store at 30 Rock, there was, you could sit at a desk and do conning's do a bit called the desk drive. And you could sit there with him and Andy Richter.

And I guess maybe if Artie's telling anything that is truthful, Sarah Silverman must have done one of those. Whether she did or not, it doesn't matter. I know I know exactly where he went He sat at the desk I think we all did it but none of us actually paid for it And actually brought it home And certainly none of us posted on the internet And so that's where he did this

And he's saying well Sarah Silverman did the bit with Conan So I did this for Jay And he's gonna talk about how this was actually What was the word he used? What the fuck was he talking about There was a, let me find it real quick There was a specific word that I did not understand She went and she smoothed Called O'Brien

smooth spoofed. Spoofed. I don't think that he's using it correctly. Okay. Definitely not. Because why would Sarah Silverwood's name get brought up right there and Conan O'Brien's name get brought up right there? This is all just like distractions.

That's how your beloved chatter gets the donation. I mean, Harrison Young brings her up pretty regularly, but at least he has a reason. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, he's retarded. He's literally a retardant. Yeah, he's on the spectrum. Artie tries to explain the Leno clip a little bit more in clip 13.

Okay. What about the Tonight Show? When we are on the time, who was the host of the Tonight Show? Tonight Show, that was a spoof on Jay Leno. He didn't know I was coming. Oh, is he surprised to see you? It's funny. It's funny as hell, man.

Oh, my God, Artie Fletcher's here. He's not really there. That's superimposed. That's fake. That's fake. You can't tell me that's real. Anybody in the world, look at that. That's totally fake.

Artie's leading into this and pretending that that was like literally him on the Tonight Show. show? Yeah, he's saying like, no, no, everybody can see the clip. I'm on the Tonight Show. It's so poorly done that it shows the intro to the Tonight Show word into an interview, which is not how that show is formatted. Nah, nobody watched Leno's monologue. I don't know what you're talking about. That's so stupid. Yeah, but later on, I don't have any clips of this, but they're like going around YouTube and all these families like posted. Here's my kid talking to Jay Leno at the NBC experience. So, Artie, yeah, Artie is,

He's starting to get a little fed up for these people that aren't doubting, that people that are doubting that he's a showbiz legend, clip 14. Nobody even listen to you guys anymore? No, we're the number one show in the world. This is the most listened to a show in the state of Florida. Remember when you were buying your own time on radio and you got me in a fight? You said that you would be syndicated before I was. Yes, sir.

What happened there? Mike, because you had no career. No, because it's because of you that you have no career. Mike Calta, I will always survive in this business. You are not surviving. Who do you live with? I live with myself. You don't live with your mother?

Weren't even Gallagher living in my mother's house? About time. I would have killed myself, too. Wow. That is true, that him and Gilger were living together. For years, apparently, with his mom. And that's another one of those Carlton knows that if he speaks like this, that Artie's not going to hear it. And he's like, yeah, I would have killed myself, too.

All right. So we're finally to the breaking point, Carl, that, you know, Artie can only take so much. Let's hear clip 15. Listen to me. You are an embarrassment to comedy. You are a liar, and you are raping these people for $55 a person for tickets and advertising as two Hollywood legends. You are neither a legend nor a comedian.

People buy it advertising on your show. You're a stern wannabe. That's all you are. Oh, gotcha. You always have been. Okay. You can say what you're original. Call me when you got some original light.

Ardy, I have never lied to people to listen to the show. I have never said to them. I was on this show and on that show. Arty Fletcher is a goddamn fraud and a liar. And I wouldn't pay $5 to see him, let alone $55 to see him. I'm telling you. I can't speak to just Jimmy Walker. He may be, Jimmy Walker may be turning out the best shows of his life.

I don't know. I haven't seen him do comedy in years. But I will tell you, Arty Fletcher is. a big fat nobody this guy's a foity yeah i bet he sold more tickets Mike Kelton just sold more tickets of that Facebook ad could have because if

I'm listening to this in the morning I'm like you know what I kind of need to check out that show now I have to see this guy I would go see Ardy Fletcher you stand up anywhere I would love to go see that oh yeah all of the WATP locals would fuck yeah meet up if he and John were to actually tour

I think I would be like a deadhead and just follow them around and see them in every city So, you know, Artie's gone and the insults pile up, but clip 19, somebody had an interaction with Artie that they want to share. I've been in a green room with him in the green room situation, and not only did he smell like a homeless person, but he tried to get me to give him money so he could teach me on the road with him and all that kind of stuff. Oh, he used to teach comedy classes. That's right. I think he used to do that at the improv. He used to teach comedy classes. Yeah, he wanted like 500 bucks, and he'd show me the way. And while he was talking, I was almost throwing up and wanted to tell him that, but I didn't say a word. I just kind of listened.

Now, did you pursue comedy, or did you say no, it's not for me? I work around it. I work in entertainment. Okay. I mean, look, you... He was a page of NBCT. I'm going to say this Christian Blatt on the phone right now. It's amazing.

I can neither confirm nor deny it. As soon as he walked in the room, I could smell the homeless thing from the hall. He came in the room, and then I met him. him. Awful. Thank you. I appreciate the calls. I'll have to ask Vinny about that. Yeah. What he smelled real bad. Yeah, that's interesting. At one point, Carmen, I guess you could call her the hole on the show. She mentions that a friend of hers went to see Artie Fletcher, bought one of his CDs for $10, which that's shocking, but got home and there was nothing on the CD.

So he just was selling blanks to these for $10. You can put whatever you want on. Right. Yeah. Exactly. So I'm not going to lie, Carl, when I heard Wednesday's show, I was so annoyed that the great Adam Thoreau blew up my spot, my sharing an allegation about Artie, but it is okay because Artie, I have three different clips where Artie tells this story, and this first one is not the one you played. This is kind of the best one.

Can we get a word of the speed, though, real quick about the allegation? Well, I want to hear How he's first not going to say the allegation And then I will confirm it after you play clip 20 Okay I'm not even saying the first story Remember the first story we heard about him? Oh yeah

I will never forget What's that guy? I don't know what that means Evidently there was According to Patrick Milton He used to work at the improv And Johnny Bedsoors Oh Patrick Melton's involved in this

Interesting Yes. Let's let it play through so then people kind of get what the rumor is. Too bad Patrick Watson's dead or else we could ask him about this directly. There was a confirmation that something happened inside the improv club that involved Arty that several people have backed up. And when Jim Florentine was on the show years ago, because Jim's the only one, Jim Florentine is the only person I know that admits to being friends with Artie Fletcher outside of Gallagher and JJ Walker.

He made sure to drop Jim's name. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Because he knows we're friends with Jim. Right. So, but I will tell you, Jim, Jim, Jim, he's like, I got out of he's all right.

He's just a nice guy, you know, that kind of thing. But I go, do you know the story about him? And then he goes, nah, I can't go. Let's call him and ask him. And then we called and ask him. He was a stutter and prick. He couldn't get out of it. He was like, ah, ba, ba, bab, bab, ba.

I don't like you already. I don't like it because you're a liar, not because of any other reason than your big fat liar. So I held a seance and I spoke to the ghost of Patrick Melton. I asked if this was him in the story. I sent him the clip and I was like,

or maybe there's another Patrick Melton, maybe Caltos was Mr. Rammerbering. And Melton's ghost gave me the permission to say, oh no, it's me. I'm from Tampa and have much experience with Artie. And I can confirm he was busted blowing a cook named Brian at the club. It was a big known thing back in 2008-ish in Tampa comedy.

Okay, so I know that Patrick's from Tampa. I know he has connection to Mikelta, so I assume that that was the Patrick Maltham that we all know and love. What's crazy is, that story that Mikelta just told, when Vinny saw us play that clip from Adam Thoreau on the show, he goes, I'm in touch with Jim Forty to see if there's any truth to this. So, like, Jim must get bombarded every few years. Yeah, right.

Is there any Fletcher gay? Like, oh, another one of these calls coming in. No, the wild thing about this is, you know, we heard from Artie Fletcher's roommate that he was a ladies man. He'd bring women home. Although he did tell that story. All right, now I'm starting to think about this a little bit. This is a little suspect. He would streak through the apartment.

Well, that, that, okay, that's a good point. But the other story that I'm remembering right now was when he was asked if he ever fucked a celebrity. Stirling John asked him. You ever fuck a celebrity? He goes, well, you know, when I was up for an Emmy, I was with so-and-so. And we were back at her... He said Megan Malali, I think. Right, right.

Megan Malali, right. And they were back at the hotel afterwards. And he's like, I could have fucked him. I just got drunk and passed out. I was like, yeah. That's not what street guys do. It's like, it's a pussy or this pillow's really soft? Well, if you jump ahead to clip 23, this is from a little bit more recently, this is 203.

But hold on. I'm not done with this. This is crazy. Well, this ties into this. The other part of this that I find wild, even when we played the clip of my Kelta saying this when we played the clip on Wednesday show, I was thinking, okay, you can say that this guy wants to suck someone's dick, but who's going to let this guy suck your dick? Like, you know what I mean? Like, Arty Fletcher does not present well.

And I can't imagine there's a guy who's just like, I want that mouth on my heart cock. Maybe he was presenting. He's like, just suck my dick. Stop talking about it. You can smell your breath. Hey, Brian, can we finish table eight, please? Everyone said, Brian, thank you for stopping his act. It was the only way that we could do it.

Can you gargle my sperm before I talk to anymore? Because your brother stinks. I'm sorry. Where are we going, 23? Yeah, 23. So in studio on the Mike Alta show, Don Jameson, Jim Florentine, and Bobby Kelly. Nice.

And this starts off. The best part of this is that Calta can't remember Artie's name when they start the conversation in 23. God damn. I can't think of his name. What's his name? Chad Zumach.

No, no, no. The guy that I don't like that he's friends of Florentine. I just said his name this morning. Artie Fletcher. Thank you. Thank you very much.

You realize you're synonymous Arnie Fletcher now. Well, Don knows him really well, too. Well, here's the thing. What is about... Oh, shit. That's right. I forgot about that connection.

This clip was why I said you probably want to talk to Don. Yes. Yeah, yeah. Thanks, Chad. And no one likes... I love Jim. The whole media.

Just like, I don't want to talk about Hardy. Talk to Dodd about it. Yeah, yeah. Don's got some thoughts. Yeah, and no one likes Hardy Fletcher, except for you. You're the only one who's good to these people.

Chad, am I right? I feel bad for it. Well, Chad, I don't know. I like Chad. I think Zoomoxian's in the studio. They're just not letting him talk. Chad. But no matter who likes,

it doesn't like somebody, they always like, you're always nice of them. It's a nice guy. Yeah, I don't know why. I mean, like, Artie gave me my start when I first started he had all these crummy rooms, Pennsylvania

and stuff and took me on the road, even though I wasn't even a comic. You were attracted to you? No. You think Ardy's gay, too. Do you think Ardy Fletcher is gay? No, no, no. Listen to me, I have no knowledge of it whatsoever. The story was

that he got caught going down on a cook in the improv in Tampa that was backed up by several people who worked there. Now, I have no knowledge of whether or not that's true. So I tried to call Artie one time on the air and he didn't he didn't quite say no

but he didn't say yes so I don't know Jim swears no way so I don't know okay I mean what gay guy doesn't want to fuck Jim Florentine of course there's the story about the guy with the wrestling eight by tens that was able to get Jim's pants off in exchange for

some sweet wrestling photos yeah and I think if Ardy was gay definitely would have tried to suck a testicle or something I think Robin Quivers once talked about he had huge balls or something. So that probably is why he's so popular in that community. We get one little bit of follow-up in Clip 24 on this same topic that I'll let you guys

decide whether or not Artie Fletcher is gay based on this. John, back to Artie being gay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, you never heard that either? No, I've never. No. He actually used to weasel some pretty good stuff back in the day. Yeah.

Really? Yeah. And Artie's whole thing is he'll go up the injunction. grab your penis and think that's funny. Well, yeah. So then it's like, you know. I know guys like that. You do.

Yeah, like that's in New York thing. Like, what is wrong with you to do that? Yeah, but guys like to just be shocking and do that kind of thing. You have a grab it or a tap? A tap is not gay. A grab is gay. What about that? That's like a, that's sexy.

Maybe the, maybe the new thing is going down at a cook. That's just for a goof. Yeah, I'm just kidding. Jokes. That's a new prank. So I think there's only one way to look at this, Carl. That's interesting. And that is, of course, the word gay.

I'm going gay. All right. All right. Well, I guess we have to do further investigations into this. Yeah. No stone will go unturned. No, exactly. You know, you can get Jameson on the case.

And Vinny has such a, you know, long background with him. I'd be surprised if any has, if this is like a, original thought that he never had like thought for a second like well maybe i could probably trick jim fordine to coming back on the show nobody tell them i want to talk to about ardy fletcher yes that's right he'll never know no one say anything um oh well that's uh excellent work thank you for finding those clips i know viny's very excited that you're on the case now as well christian yeah no yeah chad's missing upper lip mid sure to uh let viny know on twitter that i was doing the segment today yeah viz was very excited about it so i'm glad that you're i like

I'll send him all the clips, even the ones we didn't play. So Vinnie can just bask in it. I am glad that you're on the case, sir. Thank you very much for that presentation. You do have another video clip on here, but I'm assuming that that's not appropriate. No, I mean, honestly, it's probably worth playing because we know that Gallagher's a prick. Yeah. So let's go ahead and this is really quick from the Mike Kalta show.

This came up sort of around the conversation of Artie, so I tracked it down. instead of getting him talk about it. You'll notice it's not a particularly long clip. Gallagher is here with us. For years, when your specials came out, I had believed as I was a kid that you were Eddie Haskell from Leave It the Beaver. Did that ever get back to you?

Did you know that? No, but what a wonderful little story. That was, I had never watched Leave It the Beaver. You know, it was before my time. And that was like, I remember when we watched a special in my grandmother's house, that was the rumor that went. And I couldn't confirm her than I. You didn't know who the hell Eddie Aska was.

So I grew up thinking that for a while. Okay, good. Yeah. Where does this story go? See, that's your problem. It doesn't go anywhere. You can't just tell about a memory. You could ask people if they have a memory that goes to a dead end.

But I mean, where do we go with this now? Why do we have to go somewhere? Why can I just tell you something funny that happened in my life? Why are you being a dick right away? I just... Well, I don't know. but Eddie I I don't wait hold on back it up why are you turning into a dick to me

I didn't do anything to you and all of a sudden you come in here with an attitude I don't have an attitude you kind of a little bit all right great okay all right gallegers and I see me go smash your fruit in the hall oh bye bye yeah see you later wow my fucking rules I'm taking Gallagher side of this one

I think Gallagher's correct to be like that's a fucking boring addict though gives a shit. And for Mike Kelton, it's like, then get out of here. It's a pussy boom. I don't know, man. I'm with Chris on this one.

You know, that's like Opie hanging up on what, Rees Witherspoon or whatever. The fact that you kick Gallagher, he's in your studio. That part's funny. Go smash fruit and holl is funny. But Carl,

I'll hedge my bets a little bit. It is a fucking boring story. He didn't even watch Leave it to Beaver. He's like, yeah, I just heard that. Yeah. And Gallagher's response, although he's a cranky old twat,

It's actually kind of funny. Why are you telling me? That's what good of shit. Well done. Thank you very much for that, Christian. Of course. And with that, I think we need to learn something. I love to eat peanut butter.

I love to eat honey. And I also love to eat beans. Beans. I look great. I feel great. Beans. Of course, we know about the great Jerry Banfield. And the great thing about Jerry's,

videos, stuff that he's putting out right now, is that every episode, I have like three or four videos ready to go. And then we play one and say, okay, that's enough Jerry. So let's move on. So this is a holdover from the previous episode that we didn't get to. But I'm excited to show it to you because Jerry gets very deep right here. So I'm going to need you guys to start thinking very intellectually. We need to try to follow Jerry's logic and try to understand what he's teaching us here.

It's very different types of content than we're used to. It's not about dating. It's not about cryptocurrency. Or beans. It's not about beans. It's about time. The name of this video is, the time is zero. The real time right now is zero.

This is going to just kind of wreck your mind a little bit. Already wrecked. Yeah. Already wrecked. Also, I like his tone. He's just like, all right, this is serious, Jerry. All right. This is serious intellectual Jerry you're about to hear.

hang on for the ride. But the true time is zero. I, by the way, I fucking hate his AI backgrounds. Yeah, I was actually, I was very distracted by all the zero, zero clocks. All the digital clocks are on zero and then the manual clocks have no hands. No hands. Because it's zero clock, Carl. You're in the middle of eternity.

Past, future. These are ideas that happen now. Numbers on a clock are completely relative to the planet we're on. a time system we're on, a decimal system we're on. And as soon as you zoom out or even zoom in, it doesn't even make any sense anymore. All right. I just want to say to my buddy, Jerry Banfield, who just learned me something. No shit, shock.

No shit. No shit. You don't think that in other places, they measure time by how fast it takes the Earth to go around the sun? Really? What a fucking moron. He's just like, did you guys know that a clock on Pluto? make sense? Yeah, of course I know that.

Fuck. This is going to blow your mind to everyone. But the way that we tell time is made up by man. Right. I'm pretty sure that isn't in nature. Impressive, though. We're in the middle of eternity. You have eternal life right now.

And every time I look at a clock, and I see whatever time it says, I also know it's still zero. The time never actually. actually changes. Right, but you have to get seven to ten videos out on YouTube every single day. So you only have so many hours to do that. So you probably want to like pace yourself and know what time it is.

I think he's looking at his bank account. What I love about this is this is another justification for not planning for the future at all. Right. So I'm just taking out money that I'll never pay back. And it's just going to pile up because what even is the future? I don't even tell time. I went back in 2027. What's that?

Some made-up number? Yeah, by man. Right. Doesn't really exist. The numbers go round and round and round, but they go nowhere. I know, isn't this? This is just like, oh, this is too big of an idea to even handle comfortably. But it helps ground me and like...

You're okay with that? Yeah, okay, I got it. Pretty sure I understand how time works, Jerry. Okay. No, he's saying this is a huge concept that we're all having a hard time wrapping our minds around. like the time is now and the time is also now and while seconds and minutes and hours go around this could go on for a while this is his deep conversation when he goes on a date oh could you imagine he's reading the script off his chat chp t whether whether you leave before you even get your

drink or you stay through dessert it doesn't matter because This gate is zero. I'm a zero. You're a zero. Round and round on clocks. They proceed nowhere. And a few light years from here, the time on earth doesn't even make any sense.

Right. The clocks, the hours, the days, the weeks, the months, the years. It doesn't even matter. In fact, you can measure people's lives in heartbeats. You know, it's funny as he goes,

a few light years from here. How do they calculate that, Jerry? Yeah. Holy shit. aren't all the planets in our solar system just stacked on top of each other? There's no distances. There's no time to get there. That different species often tend to have the same length of heartbeats.

Okay. I didn't look this up. This sounds like bullshit. This sounds convoluted. But he says things like some, maybe. So who knows? But listen to this. That different species often tend to have the same length of heartbeats to the

their life. Different species often tend to have the same number of heartbeats to their life. Okay. Well, again, I'm sorry that I'm here doing so much fact-checking this week, Carl, but an animal's heart lifespan depends on its species and size. So the amount of heartbeats is actually like a giraffe or an elephant has a different amount of heartbeats than a mouse. I'm sorry, Jerry.

Well, I think he's got, uh, I think he's going to argue with you on this one. I'm ready to learn, Jared. But the species that have faster heartbeats tend to live about the same length of heartbeats rather than time. It's as if the faster your heart goes, the more your perception of time seems to slow down.

So do dogs' hearts beat at 7x the rate? I don't think they do. Right? I don't think so either. I think he's wrong about that. I was on the tennis court the other day, and my heart must have been beating pretty fast. Because you're going to die.

You're going to die sooner now, you idiots. Why would you do that? It seemed like time was going very slow. Like every shot, I had time to, like, calculate where the ball was going. Oh, you know what? Hold on a second. I just thought of something. This actually makes sense.

So if you are athletic and you get your heart rate up a lot, you die a lot younger. Davey Jones from the monkeys in great shape, didn't abuse drugs, just drop dead. And then you got, you know, all these. guys from the Rolling Stones who heroin slows the heart rate I would imagine you know you get yourself

some more beats in there get you buy yourself some more time okay what are you suggesting we should start doing heroin all right hackomania 5

because I want to live forever I could decide I could feel exactly where my feet were placed but then I go to bed at night and eight hours just slips by

while I'm sleeping because you're unconscious When he was playing tennis, could he have possibly been inside the Matrix? I think that's the way that time passes in there. Right. He's able to duck underneath the ball as it slowly goes past him. Or I have my kids over and they're playing video games and five hours just flies by. Like, where did half my kid's childhood go?

But I remember fundamentally... That's with mommy. That's with their mom. Why would you say half my kids Childness? God damn it, Jerry. You know, the five hours with my kids strangely felt like 90 minutes

with a court-appointed supervisor. So it's so weird. It feels like every other weekend I don't see my kids at all. It flies right by. The time hasn't moved since I was born. The time won't actually be different when I pass because time only makes sense

in relation to relativity. If you look at, For example, if there's only one ball in space, there is no space, there is no ball, there's no object, because you literally need to have a second perspective just to see the one. Yeah, but you said that there was a ball in space. Yeah.

If there's a ball in space, there is no ball in space. What? And this is why I can't pay my bills. So I'm going to be laid on the mortgage. Does he mean the child molester demon ball or a tennis ball? I think he's talking about the earth. Oh, okay. I have a rest of the earth.

So time in a, we are all one kind of consciousness doesn't even make sense. All is now. All is love also means all is zero. Everything is nothing. God is either everything or nothing. I think Billy Corrigan wrote a song about this.

Yeah. And Jerry's sober, right? By the way, it's funny you bring that up because I've been reading all these comments about Jerry underneath our YouTube videos. And people are like, there's no fucking way

this guy's an age. A. meetings? There's no way he's sober. This is not how someone who's not a drug addict. Yeah, this is stoner's sleepover talk. Yeah. This is like the first time you smoke weed in the junior high.

This is the conversation you have. And everybody's like, yeah, yeah, all right. Thanks, buddy. If you want to stop feeling so impatient like you're racing around all the time, remember you're not going anywhere. Oh. The time fundamentally is the same as it was when you were born. It'll be the same time when you pass.

Yeah, but there's. the meeting I have to be at. I have to be there on time. Nope. Oh, okay. Great. Why weren't you at the meeting? It's zero right now. We all agreed it's zero. And basically nothing will have happened in between. And when you move on to somewhere else, it'll be the same there. And again and again, in fact, there's no idea that tortures me more, that triggers more fear and that I have a bigger opportunity to grow on than being able to comprehend infinity. thinking about infinity. Wait, that tortures him? Yeah.

Thinking about infinity? I'm more baffled by the idea that this guy wants another wife and two more kids. Let me explain. Infinity I kind of get. Let me explain what infinity means. It means that there are so many earths out there that there's another Jerry Banfield who actually is a millionaire. It's successful.

That's the definition of infinity. But that Jerry only charges $20 for. a half hour phone call. Able to comprehend infinity. Just thinking about infinity makes me on a scream. It's so big.

It's like getting dunked in the ocean and trying to hold on to some of the water. But you're just... Hold on. He lost me there. Just like, write this shit down ahead of time. What did you just say?

You're talking about winter when the ice is on the body of water? I don't quite get it. Okay, this is him trying to wrap his mind around infinity. Listen to this. It's like getting dunked in the ocean and trying to hold on to some of the water.

Uh-huh. But you're just, you're dunked in it. You're all around it. You can barely even sense it because you're immersed in it. Oh, I'm sensing the water.

If I'm dumped it in the ocean, I'm sensing that quite a bit. It's a problem. Yeah. But when you go underwater, Carl, it's zero and when you actually just swim above it, it's still zero so you don't have to worry about how long it takes for you to stop breathing. Oh, no, no, no, no, I do. I need my body, my body's oxygen at a certain point. I didn't realize you were such a hater, Jerry.

Set a straight. What did you say grab some water? Yeah, that doesn't mean. It's that to do with infinity. Fistfuls of water. Yeah. Infinity is like two or three oceans. It's so big. But it's all around, but you can't really get it. a hold of any particular part of it because it's all, it's, you're just immersed in it. Then I think sometimes like, is this planet a soul prison? If I want to get out of here,

well, she's Scientologist? Starting to sound that way. It's a soul, all right. I'm sorry, this is an Adam Bush episode. I should have played this on the Adam Bush episode. Hell Zeno. I'll say it for him. All right. Praise. Oh, yeah, maybe it's hell. Kind of comfortable in my prison cell because this environment

is familiar. And you start thinking about things like there's no time. time is just literally a mental creation. The sun goes up and down, but it actually... It actually doesn't. Maybe he's going to correct himself. Actually doesn't. Right, okay.

If you are on Earth and the Earth rotates around the sun, the sun appears to go up and down, but in space it doesn't. It just stays there. Well, that's not true either. The sun is moving very fast, but okay. But from the whole galaxy's point of view, the sun is rotating around,

apparently a black hole in the middle. It's all moving. Or a black man like me. He's really lost me now. I don't know what the fucking he's talking about anymore. I feel like he's one step away from, and you may ask yourself, where is that large automobile? And you may tell me yourself, this is not my beautiful house.

This is not my beautiful wife. She left me. Zoom in further. And can an Adam even see the sun? Depends on where it is. a lot of lives are so relative it's Adams have eyeballs What's he talking about?

Can Adam see the sun? Which Adam Bush. Yeah. Hard to even comprehend And we forget that Oh, well, this, You were late.

I got upset like a silly boy yesterday's. My ex was late bringing the kids over. That's what this is about. Oh, that's what this is about. So that's just like, What even is time? Jerry's like, oh shit, you're right. Honey, I got to make a video. I'll be right back.

She just showed him her wristwatch with no hands on it. He's like, what do you mean, Jerry? It's zero. We're here. Let's go. Wow. I got to bank that up. That's fucking funny.

I knew we were going somewhere. This is great. I didn't get this far in the video when I watched it earlier. It's hard to even comprehend. And we forget that. Oh, well, you were late. I got upset like a silly boy yesterday. My ex was late bringing the kids over.

You know, like, I thought they were going to be over an hour or so before. And I got upset because it's court ordered. And we agreed on this. And my attorney has reminded her attorney multiple times. But I was just being a silly boy. I just noticed that this is a nine-minute video car. Yeah, I know. Now, listen, since it's all zero, it actually doesn't matter.

That's true. Yeah. Why are you looking at a time? That's your problem. And it's like, remember, there is no time. Relax. Yes, we use time to try and coordinate our activities together as humans. Right.

But that's a tool. We place too much stock in our lives on time. For example, I just had a birthday that was 42 years ago. But the cells in my body, on average, are like three, four years old. because every seven years or so, the cells have on average a lifespan. I mean, there's all kinds of different cells. You know, when they started legalizing marijuana

in all these different states, did anyone bring this fucking video? And it's just like, this is what we're going to get, guys. We really want to legalize this. This guy turned off the camera and drove a car somewhere. We can't have this. Right.

But on average, they have a lifespan of like seven years. But some kinds of cells live much shorter lives, and some cells live longer. So even if supposedly this body was born 42 years ago, the cells in it are not 42 years old. You start to wonder. That's another thing he says on a date. How old are you?

Actually, I'm like seven. You've got a pizza place I'd like to take you to. It's okay. I only date other seven-year-olds. I mean, wouldn't it be possible to live indefinitely in one of these bodies, theoretically it would be. Because the idea of time and aging are ideas that don't necessarily have to manifest in reality. No, they do.

Most certainly do. It actually is what reality is, believe it or not. But they go together with our clock-based reality. Oh, so we only age because we're looking at the clock. Is that what he's trying to say? If we had invented time, we'd all live for infinity. Yeah. But.

Oh, shit. This is like two different pig-foit songs in one. No, it's all Sid Barrett stuff. The lunatic. It's looking at his watch. I was like, I almost said cock-based reality. In our cock-based reality. Wow, that makes of time and age and all this stuff.

What the fuck was that? Come back to us, money. Come on. It gets a little blue. It's only at this moment I'm realizing. He doesn't edit these, right? There's never any jump cuts or anything, right? No, no, no.

Because maybe the cock-based reality would be time for one of those white flashes that you can edit around. Yikes. He's also going live a lot more lately because he finds out, he's found out that he gets more views. The algorithm likes it when videos are live, turns out. For so relative, they don't even make sense. Like, why does the last dog I had that passed? why are their dog years why does it

all right I'm tapping he's lost me now why are their dog ears there are dog ears anyway so that's Jerry on time pretty much

can we dumb it down a little bit I don't know if we can do you have any hawk to clips that we can look at this is the one place to dumb it down yeah some Haley Welch

could solve this problem I saw this problem I saw this clip a couple weeks ago where Pete Davidson was talking about how he feels bad for what happened to Haley Walsh, a hawk to a girl that everybody loved her. And then just because she tried to defraud her audience out of, you know, thousands of dollars. Now everybody doesn't like her. She still makes she accomplished that. Also, she was never talented. She was terrible with this. I might have a collection of videos that are going to prove exactly what you just said. Carl. Yeah. So she did a video that's

called I tried Victoria's Secret Model Life, and this is what happened. I'm going to spoil one thing about it. This is only part one. So it's not her whole day as a Victoria's Secret Model Life. The second part hasn't been posted yet, but I'll let you guys know. Oh, so this is a new video. She's still putting content out. Oh, yeah.

This is from within the last week or so. Because the last I heard, she's not doing the podcast anymore. Unless I heard she's just playing video games online. No, she and, you know, her girl, Chelsea, who is in these videos, They went to a hockey game. I might have even mentioned to you that that was one of the videos. Hey, Carl, did you notice I didn't bring you any clips of her at the hockey game? Thank you.

Yeah, no, it's terrible. It's unbelievably terrible. But this, I think you might get something out of. If you want to see how the day starts in our first clip. Hey, guys, it's a rainy day, so our plans got a little messed up. So we're going to see what it's like to live in a day as a Victoria's Secret model. Oh, the thunder was fucking perfect. And guess who's up in the bed with me?

Hey, you know. Snow gets a book and a rug. So two thoughts. The thunder was perfect until you went, oh, the thunder was perfect. And listen, I post a lot of stuff online. Someone would say too much. That fucking charger cable that's right there. Nobody thought, like, let's just sweep that onto the floor.

Right. So, yeah, she had a sleepover with her gal Chelsea. Does that sound like funcar? They both spent at least an hour and a half on their makeup and hair before they did that. I'm not buying. They're just laying in bed together. Chelsea spent an hour and a half. You know, Haley, you know, 20 minutes.

Fair enough. Listen, you got to make sure you smell good. So they're in the bathroom in clip two looking for deodorant. Got any deodorant. Yeah, girl. I got that, I got that. Because tonight will be the night. What I will.

Ooh, I don't know about like that. It's cold. just made my arm through it. It smells so good though. I don't sweat through that, but it clunks up like my little balls smell good. So she said the word balls. That's a good joke. And Jerry would have really liked that part of the video. He would have cracked up. Full disclosure, he was kind of my type. It's probably why I talked about her a lot on the show. Yeah. She looks terrible here. I've never seen her look worse than this shot. There's one part of the shot that if you zoomed in on it would at least be okay. But yeah, she, uh, she, uh, she, I see the part you're talking about.

Yeah, I mean, I didn't want to objectify the Hawk to a girl, but yeah, I do. How dare you, sir? Yeah, no, look, I'm trying to be classy. Sure. So, yeah, I'm finding that not only is she stupid, she's very annoying, and you'll see more of that in clip three. It's like a bubble bath together. I've been saving this for you. Smell it.

It goes with that candle. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to shave my eunabrow. Nice little Squidward edit. Somebody's putting these videos together. But she's yelling because I think that what we all know is women who yell leads to laughter. I think Melissa McCarthy proved that. I don't think the Paul brothers are behind her anymore.

I don't think that they're... What gave it away? They definitely aren't. And, you know, Carl, I'm glad you mentioned how hot she... Well, how she's your type. Yeah. But she in clip four, she wants to maybe remind all of us that she's actually not that high. I think Christian caught himself.

He's like, her eyes are a little round for me, but, you know, I can see some guys right fire to her attractive. Yeah, why is her skin white? You know, I like something that looks more like a taxi cab. Okay. Oh, my fucking God. I need to go get mass meter Votox, dude. I look down and tell me why I got this big ass fucking look. Look, look at this shit.

She's the Tomminator. So she's showing off her extra chins. Heyley, don't do that. Oh, my God. All right. Well, she tried to get by at her talents. That's what she's doing. I'll get by my comedic timing from now on.

All right. What I will say is that clip five, I don't hate what she's doing here. Okay. I want to work. Some kind of like vibrating scale device. I hate what she's saying, but I like that she's moving. I'm not aesthetically pleasing. This is not.

going to work out. Imagine if you just woke up beside me and I was just over here, just looking at you like, I can smell you. I did not add that drop. No, I know. So that's, I could tell. I can't imagine waking up next to that, actually. Go figure.

Wouldn't be the worst thing. All right. So this is, they're Victoria's Secret models for the day, guys. And they have a couple of bags here, and, oh, just wait until you see what Chelsea's got in her bag and clips six. Oh, fuck you, Chelsea. Stop taking it up at a camera time. It's a string. Oh, fuck, it really is.

What the fuck? Of course you picked this out. Oh, shit. Okay, your dead ass is a string. All right. Shit, I'm gonna take it off of you later. I'm fucking... I like when she says stuff like that.

Oh, my God. What is that? That's a damn mosquito net. How do you put that out? What is this? I hope that ain't one of those crotchless draws. I'm so confused. I don't want my little bit.

What the fuck? Oh, wait, this looks right. Right? We're just pulling your chin hairs. Here's the real one. Ooh! Don't worry. No, no, I don't have the real stuff because it's...

Hey, Lee, can you try that on first? Show your friend, Chelsea, how to do that? Listen, I would settle for Chelsea wearing it because instead they have bathrobes, pajamas, and exercise clothes. Don't worry. We're not going to see any of that. But I find a strange comparison to Haley Welch in Clip 7 when she sees the pair of shoes that she has.

Could I form him? Oh, wait. They're not really cute. They're actually really cute. These look like some real Victoria's Secret. It does. I want to, like, curb stomp a bitch in them. So that, of course, makes me think of the Army Major, Richard O'Channa.

He's just got a chubby watching that. Who we curb stopping. Let's go. I like to cuddle your jib. Carl, let's jump ahead to clip nine. Two girls doing jumping jacks. I'm sure it's going to be hot, right? It has to be.

Yeah. You're like. Oh, that weighs down my tits. Tell me more. That is not fun. I'm going to yank my fucking tits off. We're going to hang my ankles after I get done with this shit. Yeah, maybe I should have that.

You should have these. You know what? Free boob job. You did highlight what the best thing is about her. Imagine if she lost that rack, Carl, if she didn't have those tits anymore. Yeah. She might want to get a day job again. She had one?

Yeah. She worked in a factory. She did. Oh, yeah. Well, no, listen, guys, I can't do a handstand, but I'm 50. Haley Welch is about to turn 24 in a couple weeks. Too old for me, but, yeah, Carl, that's your thing. So let's see if she can do it with Chelsea's help, do a handstand in clip 10.

I think Christian goes, I can't do a handstand because I'm 50. Do you think Christian Black can't do a handstand? I can't write a joke because I'm 66. If Chelsea was holding me, yes, when I was in my 20s. Okay, fair enough. Here, you want to sit back in a handstand? Yeah. Yes, please.

Okay, we can't. Yeah. You got to jump. Almost. So close. There again. This time did me. You're not even talking.

I'm scared to get your leg now. You're not. You're not going to hit it. Okay. No, she'll get it. All right. You're done. Should we just do wheelbarrels?

What's that? Yeah. The same thing as I asked, yeah? I'm fucking fines. You call me fucking Ben! Go on! Get back up! Keep going!

Keep going! I'm sorry! Okay, guys, I'm just going to stay on here for a little while. This is a... fucking thing. sucks. When you create content, all that matters is that you're having fun, right, Carl? No, this is garbage. This is really bad. I'm offended by this, Christian. Well, I think you're going to enjoy the last clip that I have, Clip 11. They want to show up.

I'm better else you're fired. Well, you know, listen, they bring some props. They have some prop comedy that involves a treadmill. Okay. Good. We got Haley there, and Chelsea has a fishing pole with a bag of McDonald's. Run towards it. Oh, God, my fucking walk. I know it goes faster than that.

Chelsea's... I don't. Chelsea's doing a good job. Come on, come, come on. There's a large frown, some buffalo sauce and some nuggets in here. I know you like buffalo. Come on.

Killie boys go to make lunch. Yeah, let's go. Holy shit, this sucks. I know. Yeah, I don't have the last part where they have two almonds for lunch, just like Bella. Hadid does. And they make green drink. So I gave you the, uh, the condensed version of this video,

but it's out there. And I'm sure she's going to be killing it just like she was when she had, uh, it was Whitney Cummings, her first guest. Oh, yeah, that's right. Yeah. She'll go back and revisit that. Um, Christian, I know that you're fact checking today. So I bet you'll have the answer to this. How many views does this video have on it? Well, I want to give you an accurate representation. Okay. So I'm going to look up the, uh, the curve. You have it in your notes, but you want to see. It's probably got more views. Where are my notes?

You know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, it's so far, hard to find. But, yeah, I can tell you what a fews are on other videos. Diana is very upset with us for watching this. She says, this is content for 20-year-olds. That's insulting to 20-year-olds. I know.

The 10-year-olds are smarter than this, right? So the videos from 10 days ago, it has 6,600 views. Okay. I think the phrase Victoria's Secret went a long way. there because videos that are much older have under 3,000. There is one where she gets a got a goth makeover.

That one has 10,000 from a month ago, but I thought Victoria's Secret was really going to speak to the WATP audience. I don't want to see goth. No, I didn't think you did. No, that sounds terrible. All right, let's move on to something way less entertaining. Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe.

Joe Mederese, just dropped a podcast on June 23rd. It's called Funeral Potatoes versus Longhots, rode back to Philly episode six. This video has 99 views. Okay. It stars Joe Madderice and Dan Rubio. Now, I've been going through all these episodes

ever since we had Jim from Jim and them on here and he called the voicemail number. Because I want to see if Joe ever played it on the show. He has not. However, the good news is, He has taken Jim's advice. And Dan is a full-blown co-host now. Remember how Danes just like pop on a little bit?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Circle. Now they're 50-50 on the screen going back and forth. I was the Jim's like, I love the back and forth to produce here. That guy's great. So Joe has to hear an opinion from one person. Yeah. That's the answer.

That's what we're doing now. But the way you set up. Brandon Shob's producer Chin is like, what the fuck? Right. So the way the show starts off before we get Dan into the mix is, of course, Joe goes through his plugs. As I said, 99 views. You don't want to miss out on potential audience members for your comedy show. And this is him going through all the shows is coming up this year.

We got some of my show dates up here. Let's start with a couple of plugs. I feel like Medford, New Jersey is going to turn into a residency. Because I just booked two more dates there. As you can see, I'm going to be there in Medford. I'm going to be there in July and again in August. So we got Medford, New Jersey at Studio 67 on the 16th of July. Then we got Stone Harbor going back to the Harbor Square Theater.

I do it every summer. I'll be down there on the 26th of July. Then back to Medford for August, doing another one there. Love that place. I love that place. I rent it out. It's like a 70-seat intimate venue. Sold it out the first time.

So let's hope these two sell out to. This is so great. As soon as Joe Fein success, he's like, I just do this from now on. That's right. You might want to see if there's a 50-seat room somewhere in Medford, but sure. I'm glad you're like. I didn't think that was the way a residency work. You go and then you come back a couple months later.

A residency works in a touristy area, Las Vegas, New York City. You could have residencies in these places. I'll even give you Branson, Missouri. You could have a residency there. Jakob-Skernoff does. Yeah. But for Medford, New Jersey, he sells out a 70. seat room and he goes, I got to come back here every month now.

Yeah. Fuck the voicemail line. Fuck this podcast. Yep. I got a residency. I live in Medford now. And he's doing July 16th and then right back August 6th. He's not even giving it 30 days in between.

No. Are the same people coming? Are they telling their friends? You got to go see this Joe Manorice guy. He's Italian. He talks about Philadelphia. I think AI told him that there's 140 people that like him in Medford, New Jersey. so he could do two shows.

It's crazy. Have I talked about how Joe is also one of these Chad GPT guys? Just like our future president, Joey C, yes. Oh, these fucking idiots. Not only do they use Chad GPT to control their lives, they brag about it. Look at me. I understand technology. I'm asking Chad GPT, we're in a book by next comedy show.

Stupid. Yeah, so he's very proud of himself with this tour he's on. And then more dates are coming and filling in in between these all. And as you could see everybody, look at all the dates. They're all in the Philadelphia Eagles, Philadelphia, Philly, Sixers, Flyers areas there. And that was the goal when I pulled off of all the cruises. I was like, why did it to name all four sports teams? You mean Philadelphia, the greater Philadelphia area.

Yes, we don't. That's the only place you're playing out. We get it. He's like proud of himself. He doesn't all these shows that I'm playing around the same city. Yeah. Used to be a touring comedian. at a TV. Did he say that's why he pulled out of doing the cruises?

Yes. Oh, okay. He doesn't do. I was always wondering. Oh, that's why. Okay. By the way, you do notice that none of these shows in New Jersey, does he have to cross the bridge? You know, they're not in Philly. He's in the Jersey suburbs so that he doesn't, you know, have to pay the toll. Right. Well, that would be a problem for the profitability. I don't have eight bucks. Of the show. So then he started talking about how his parents.

are currently on a cruise because he gets talking about cruises. And he's like, yeah, my folks are on their first cruise out of Philadelphia, going down to Bermuda, seven days. I'm pretty sure they don't know how to set up the Wi-Fi on the ship because I haven't heard anything. So I don't know. They could be freaking out. But you guys don't care about it.

Roe back to Philly. Does that have anything to do with Philly, South Jersey? I guess they took a cruise from Philly. I mean, that counts, right? And that's a new thing. No. Hearing about how your parents are on their first cruise, does nothing to do with you going back to Philadelphia. Also, I'm going to guess his parents are on vacation, and the last thing they want to do is talk to Joe.

Yeah, right. Wi-Fi's probably set up. They just don't want to talk to him. Who's texting you? Joe again. Got to fix Joe. Yeah. It's going to play shuffleboard.

He wants to know if the Wawa and Cherry Hills better than Medford. Yeah. So, Joe is. still on this kick of like, what's the show format? Are we talking about Philly? Are we talking about my road back to Philly? Episode three was called Why I Probably Won't Move Back to Philadelphia. Oh, no. So he's already given up hope. Yeah, this was supposed to go on for four and a half years. Right. He's already given up hope on it. And the whole point of this was, guys, I need your help. Tell me what I should say to convince my wife that we should move back to Philadelphia or to move to Philadelphia.

So you've never been there. And then there was an episode, episode two, where, he goes, hey guys, I need your help. Where should we get a vacation home? We're going to go with a bunch of relatives for seven days. And he started showing us different options. I found this one on Airbnb. I found this one. He's talking about different areas.

So thankfully, our buddy Dan goes, hey, can we get an update on what's going on with the vacation home? Bless you, Dan. Because you're leaving us hanging. Like, all right, we discussed it. We gave you our thoughts on it. Like, what did you guys decide? Which town in Long Beach Island are you going to be in, Joe?

Right. We need to know that. What's going out with this house? So I got a lot of throwback subjects for this episode, Dan. And there's some good ones here. There's some good ones here. Wait, wait. Before we move to those, I just need a follow-up.

You send me a text message saying that you guys have solidified the home that you guys are going to do your episode. Episode two, everyone. I believe episode two. You talked about where you're going to, where are you going to stay? Okay. I sent it to you. I did. You did.

So I'm going to pull this up because. So I had nothing, I had no say in the matter. Like, like usual, nobody else wanted to go to the Jersey Shore. So again, like this, there's no point in this podcast. Guys, help me out. I want to convince my family. I want to convince my wife. They're all just like, fuck you, Joe.

You have no saying this. You'll come along for the ride. He's no control over any aspect of his life, it seems like. But I asked Alvoss for advice. So thanks for wasting our time with that. And then it gives us way too much information about where he actually is going on vacation. Think how this guy isn't actually a celebrity. Because if he wants, this would be a real...

Or in charge of anything. Yeah, it'd be a real problem. We've never had a pool in any of our Cape Cod houses. They've always been just near a lake. This is the most probably we're ever going to... We've ever spent on a house. So don't think we're rich because we're not rich. We're all...

You're not rich. Yeah, your wife's rich. We're splitting it three ways. It's going to be five grand each for each couple. And then like $1,300 for my mother-in-law. I said we should just... I didn't even see that picture, Dan. Look at that.

That's the... Outdoor shower. That's phenomenal. It's so cool. I didn't see that. 500 for each kid. Why is he breaking down when everyone's paying for the vacation,

including his mother-in-law? Because he's a fucking moron. He's so stupid. And I'm not even playing it on here. He shows the map where this home is and zooms in. And it's exactly where it is and Cape God. And you're all invited. Well, yeah.

I hope so. So then they get into drive-in talk. So he starts talking about, you know, He's very nostalgic. They're talking about a driving he used to go to. And Dan's excited. Dan's like, ah, I used to live near driving, but we don't care about Dan's opinion.

I had a drive-in movie theater growing up in the neighborhood, the area that I lived in. Did you really? Oh, yeah. So did I. But I was really young when we had that. I saw Rocky at the Penn Sock and everybody. As a fix of my camera, at the Penn Sockin' Drive-in.

I still remember, in the rain, Rocky One. No, we never get back to death. Spoiler alert, Rocky 1. Well, Carl, I grew up next to a driving, too. I shot the fuck up. I got to go. It's still open to this day. You're going to notice that there's one thing Joe wants to talk about, and that is Rocky.

He loves Rocky. He used to do a Rocky podcast. Now he's doing this new podcast. He's trying to figure out what the theme of it is, and it keeps evolving. Now it's this. Let's get to the old school topics that I wanted, and we can compare this to Utah and you growing up. It seems like that's what our podcast is turning into.

Philly versus Utah. No. So I'll let you pick here, Dan. We've got some good subjects. So now the show is Philly versus Utah, a city versus a state. Because Dan lives in Utah, he can't be bothered to know where in Utah.

He lives. It's just Utah. Sure is Iowa or Ohio. He was Iowa. Yeah. Right. So he goes, all right, people sent him. in a bunch of topics I can go through.

And so this is the first subject that he wants to tackle on the show. What would you show Dan Rubio in his first perfect Philly South Jersey day? Like if you were coming in for the World Cup or you were coming in for the All-Star game, which they're both

coming up and Philly's like all excited about it, what would I take you to do here? ChatGBT made a little bit of a list here. I'm thinking if I would go outside their list. Dude, literally the question is What would you do with your buddy Dan to show him around Philly? I better ask someone else.

And he has Chad GPT. No, you're the one who loves Philadelphia. You want to move there. You grew up in the suburbs. You're so excited about it. What would you do to show your buddy Dan around? I don't know, let me ask a computer. Which neighborhood do you want him to get robbed in, Joe?

Let me ask a robot about that. The robot's like, I don't know, a cheese steak somewhere. Fine. Jesus Christ. I got a crazy thought. Maybe go to Pats or Gino's, one or the other. I don't know. Well, this, of course, turns into Rocky Talk.

It would be the thing you want to see. If you were like, I'm in Philly, like when I used to take friends, like I have a friend, Josh Ricardo, comedian, we're not really that friendly anymore. We were really close in one time. He moved to New York because I told him to him. He was the one guy. I hit it off with two guys when I lived in San Diego for a year.

Josh Ricardo. and this other guy, Ray Combs, whose dad was the host of family feud. And he was Ray Combs Jr. So they both moved to New York and one's in Austin now and one stayed in New York the whole time. But as soon as he got to Philly, it was like Rocky Steps immediately. Like the first thing he said was it's a lot smaller than I thought. Like he thought it was going to be enormous. And I said, well, Rocky was short.

He was short. You know, that was the joke I made. So he wanted to see Rocky steps at the, you know, at the art museum. great anecdote. Thanks for all the details on that too. Josh Ricardo only has 1,800 followers on Instagram, so he should have stayed tight with Joe. Oh, shit.

Yeah, he's missing out. I do daily on buying tickets to the July 16th day. I know it doesn't make any sense to dedicate your whole set to Cherry Hill, but I'm from that area. All right. Well, please report back to us. Let us know how that goes.

I'm excited about it. I'm excited for you, actually. All right, so the Rocky Talk has begun. He brought a buddy there who's not buddies with anymore. but that's where he wanted to go. And so he's actually doing an awful job of being a tour guide for Dan when he comes in so far. And now they moved that rocky statue a million times. I thought because you were a movie guy, you'd want to see some of the rocky sites immediately.

Maybe you don't because you're not a rocky guy. You're too young. No, I do want to see the rocky sites, but I would want to do it closer to the evening because that's like... Because, like, if I'm coming to the more, I want breakfast. But I don't know where I would take you to breakfast. I don't even know. People out there is the Melrose diner still around. I mean, that's, see, I grew up in South Jersey, so the breakfast places I know are over there.

Okay, then why are you a tour guide in Philadelphia? Do you want to go see the Rocky stuff or the Rocky stop? Right. Because that's all I got. You have to meet up with Joe after lunch if you want him to be a tour guide. Well, he does have a very good question since they're talking. about breakfast. This is the kind of question that you always ask when you're getting

to know someone. Chocolate or vanilla? Are you a guy that likes the potatoes, the home fries with the onions or without because you never know what diner. You're going to get what? Do you like the onions in the potatoes or no onions? Either. On your breakfast. I'm happy with whatever.

Jesus Christ. I'll take onions in the potatoes or take them on top. That wasn't an option, Dan. That's such a fucking nothing. question, but it's an even worse answer. Just pick one. You like onions or you don't, even if it's not true.

It's fine. Honestly, I wouldn't send it back if it had onions. I would be pissed if it didn't. Which is the right answer, but Jesus Christ, Joe, he can't even fathom being entertaining on this show. And I blame Jim from Jim and that. This is great. The back and forth you have your producer. That's right.

Dan's such a fucking dud. He's such a nothing. But Joe can't comprehend. that anyone would ever want to do anything other than look at the Rocky steps. He's like, well, that's the Bial Edda, right? And Dan's got other ideas. So what's the Philly site you want to see first? Well, I think I would, I definitely would like to do the, I would say the art museum.

I mean, one thing for sure. Do you want to go in the art museum or you just want to see the steps where Rocky went up and then you're good. Both, both? You want to go in and see the art. Why, why not? It's an art museum. I've had, every single time I've gone to an art museum, it's been an amazing time. because it's like you just forget that you know we get in this world where we can just generate whatever image you want and

and thousands of years people just had to go and like you know create amazing art and we put them in these places that we don't seem as much these two deserve each other they really do but my favorite question there was like so wait you want to go inside the art museum that's where the art is are you sure you want to do that didn't you hear about the steps Yeah, there's steps. You could see the art museum. I think Joe thinks that question was funny. Oh, I don't think so at all. I think he literally, so he then brings up a rocky line.

And I think he really does think that going inside an art museum is stupid. I want you to Google it right now. I think there's a line in one of the Rocky movies where the rocky character says, I didn't know there was already in here. Because that's how Philly people are. We go visit the steps. We don't go in the museum. That's why I thought he was trying to be funny.

Right. Joe makes me hate Rocky. It's a good movie. It's not a great movie. It's a good movie. It makes me fine. It's a fucking hate it. Yes.

I mean, Rocky 3 is the good one. I think we can all agree with that. Here we go. This guy is a movie show. What do you think about Transformers 2? Chris, is that a good one? Not the best one. The animated one's the only good one.

So this is wild. It turns out because Joe's like, why that would you go into a museum? And Dan's like, I don't know. It's like art in there. It's pretty cool and stuff, right? And I like that Dan also just like, I know, I realize like with AI, you can generate art anywhere. Is that why people aren't going to museums anymore?

They're like, I just make my own museum. Blup, bloop. So Joe actually did go into the museum one time. And we actually went in the museum and I was blown away. It was amazing. So anybody out there who just goes for the Rocky and the statue, everybody stands in front of it wants to take their picture. And then there's little footprints at the top of the steps where you can see where Rocky stood and looked out. did all. Everybody does this at the top

of the steps. But you're missing something if you actually don't take the tour of the museum and go inside. I mean, there's some unbelievable... This logo is awesome. Good stuff, Dan. I've seen the logo. Do I really have to go in? I love that it goes from, wait, you want to go inside the museum

to actually, going to the museum actually is pretty cool. He should maybe check it out at some point. Did he get a text from his wife that he realizes he should pretend that he likes museums. That was very strange. Yeah, I think he finally came around and realized like, oh, I just sound like a douchebag who just worships to Rocky.

I should probably enjoy Philadelphia for other reasons, too. But that won't last very long. We get right back into Rocky Talk. I think there's some sort of exhibit that connects with Rocky that's going on right now at the art museum. As you're pulling that up, that's what that rising

up is, I think. And I should probably go check that out. I think there's all kind of cool Rocky art inside there. Dude, has anything else happened in Philadelphia aside from Rocky? No. No other historical anything. Just Rocky? Okay. There's a bell there somewhere, isn't

that? I don't know. Is that important? I'm not even sure. Yeah, I think Rocky broke the bell. What's great is that Joe sees, they're looking at the website and the first thing shows like a black and white photo of, you know, a boxing match. And he's like, oh, that must be the Rocky exhibit that's there.

And so Dan starts reading it. It's actually the photographer who took that photo. It's like his exhibit has something to do with Rocky. Rocky's in the picture, right, Carl? Nope. No, it's not Rocky. But then Joe sees that and he's like, oh, you know what? There's this underground

boxing that goes around in Philly and, you know, there's guys there and they're making wagers and it's all illegal and it's underground. I've never been to a boxing match like that, but I'd really like to do something like that. People don't, that's one thing I never did growing up there that would be fun to go do if I could find it out.

is go to an underground boxing match in one of those kind of places where... I mean, that's how the movie Rocky opens where people can bet on the fight. Right, Joe, right back to fucking Rocky again. Drink. You know what else I'd like to do is drink an egg,

raw egg at some point. You know, Joe, I know it's too new of a movie for you, but the first rule of those clubs is that you don't talk about those clubs. Right, we can't have you in there. We can't watch you in. Now with 99 views on your podcast. So that's like, all right, what else you want to do, Dan? Okay, so I would, so we would go to the art museum and then I would take you into,

and you'd see the steps and then you'd want to go inside. I don't know what else you'd want to do. You tell me, bro. No, shit. The whole point is like, the worst guide ever. Show me around Philadelphia. What's cool here? It's just like, no, there's nothing else.

It's just the steps. He's so ready to be defeated at every turn. I don't know what you want. You know, there's a guy named Benjamin Franklin I've heard of him. Is his house there or anything like that? Is there any other historical sites that are interesting? The flag, maybe, the origin of the flag? I don't know.

Probably not. So then Joe goes through a list of things that have disappeared in Philadelphia. And he lists things like a mall, an amusement park, some castle that burned down, like a local TV commercial. White people. And every single one of the. things he goes yeah I don't miss that I don't care about that it doesn't matter why are you reading this list then so then he finding us to a thing that he does miss and he wishes we're still

around the spectrum I would add on to that list because I do miss the spectrum the spectrum growing up again we can connect with Rocky again that's where Rocky fall I love it because I can walk there from my house holy shit everything is there is Rocky the new arena is in the same place as the old one. Rocky could still walk to it. I don't know if Joseph ever been to Philadelphia.

And I've seen Rocky. Yeah, he's only seen it through the lens of the movie. I don't think he does anything about it. So this gets him talking about wouldn't it be cool if I live near a sports stadium and I can just walk to the games.

He starts listing different cities that you could walk to the games because the cities are right down or the stadium's right downtown. And so boring-ass mumbled mouth Dan starts talking about all the live sports you could watch in Salt Lake City. In Salt Lake. But are there areas where you're like, oh, that's a nice area?

And it's in walking distance to the stadium? Yeah. So I think Salt Lake has a lot of great little areas. And they've added a lot of, we've added some better tracks systems that helps to be able to get transportation into the downtown area of Salt Lake. the Delta Center it used to it's it is now again

the dump center but host the jazz it hosts our the mammoths and we also have a little bit further in a different city it's the macs right it's the mammoths I'm pretty sure hosts are

the mammoths and we also have and then a little bit further in a different city. We have Rio Tinto Stadium, I think it's American First Stadium now, where we have our soccer MLS team, which is Riazza Lake, and our

female soccer team, which is the Royals. And they're awesome. That theme is actually really cool. But that one sucks because it is a way? Wait, what? Is it cool or doesn't suck? This guy could not put together a coherent thought.

Joe is just passing out. Let's see. This horrible He was adjusting the brim of his hat. Yeah. You lost me at female soccer stadium. Kudos to Jim from Jim and then for leaving that voicemail that says we need more of Dan on the show. This has actually made it better. Oh, dude, I took a screenshot of this and texted it to him.

I was like, congratulations. Listen to what Dan says at the idea. This is funny. They're awesome. That stadium is actually really cool. But that one sucks because it is a nice area and people can walk to the stadium if you're a soccer fan. So you can watch at the soccer stadium. if you're a soccer fan.

Yeah. That kind of makes sense, right? If not, you get the fuck out. Yeah, why the fuck am I here? I just walked here. They're not going to watch soccer? I guess I'll go home. Women soccer sucks.

They're actually really good. What was that comment? I mean, they're good, but they suck, you know? That was wild. Christian, thank you so much for being part of the show today, bringing the Kelta versus Fletcher that we needed in our lives. And the Hoc-2a that I never need. in my life ever again.

I mean, yeah, she can wear a tank top. Let's give her that. You're one for two today, my friend. One for two. People should check you out. They should check out Blatcast. You have your own YouTube channel. I do.

And I would love for people to subscribe for free so that I don't ever get embarrassed again when a badabler tries to send his audience to my YouTube channel. You apparently need to have a thousand subscribers and I didn't. So the potato might have made fun of me for that. But that's all I'm asking for. But on this channel, Tuesdays, let's get a pity sub for our buddy Christian, please. Yeah, that's all I need.

Get on there. B-L-A-D-T-C-A-S-T. Thank you. And of course, on this channel, who are these broadcasters? The great Eric Zane will be back on Tuesday. And we've got all kinds of fun in store for you and bears. The most recent episode, of course,

featuring Lucy Typebox, as EZ was off. Somehow more people watch that one. I'm not quite sure what the cause and effect is, Carl. Yeah. Well, I think they just like Megan Markle. Yeah. She's so likable.

I enjoyed the two hosts that she visited with WATB. That was hilarious. Really good stuff. I should probably make that its own segment on the channel because it's great. All right. Let's find out what's going on. Something you've never said about that show before. Or thought.

Just that it was great. part, let alone you're actually saying it sarcastically. Carl, the actor. I was like waiting for the secondary insult. I'm like, oh, wait, I think he meant that. Aw. No, are you kidding me? Minus EZ plus Lucy?

Yeah, no, there's a winning formula. She'll be back again in July. Nice. All right. Let's check out what's going on on the internet with the internet news segment produced by producer Chris featuring Jenny Jingles. Give it up for Jen J. J. Jigalheimer Schmidt with the internet news. From Patreon, Adam M shares.

I like when you have Jody B on because it makes me feel attractive. J.P. Ponders, I think that was the first time John ever pronounced narcissist correctly. Mike last name offers, I could be wrong. But I think Johnny Crutches needs a go-fund meet because he's a DJ and a comedian. Yet another asshole on the internet that won't get a real job, so they can live a respectable and comfortable life panhandling. From Facebook, Marvin Hammond posts an impressive Photoshop of a guitar center masterclass with Corey Feldman. Says Marvin.

Carl, you know what to do. Maybe you can go with John. Wilson admits, I would 1,000% go to that. I don't play the guitar, but neither is he. Tony Valdez demands. Shut up and take my money. From Dablers Anonymous, we find a ponderous retweet of stuttering John from 2020. I'm not motivated by the people that believe in me.

I'm motivated by the people that don't. Anonymous writes, seems like we're doing our part. What say you, John? I'll wait. Adams D2 points out, then he should be the most motivated person alive, because the only thing people believe is that he will die drunk and alone. Kabi Q Riffs, motivated to drink. Penguin's ex-army vet claims,

That's a stolen quote. With no attribution, Melendez can be sued. Recipe consistent opines. Unfortunately, his own children have become non-believers. Fix it 403 contemplates, maybe we've been too encouraging. And from YouTube, Johnny O notes, looking at Artie Fletcher,

I feel like I'm looking at SJ 10 years in the future. Healing Church Potluck reports, it's crazy how all the times Mike Morris referred to his guy, he was dead on and not exaggerating. Boss Daw confesses. Every time I see this guy, I think Bits and Jesus, two pistols

counters with, I think of a big steaming pile of horseshit. Cassie Go3 shares a personal tragedy, working on a truck yesterday, and a bag of dog food ripped. All that went through my head was bits and kibbles, bits and kibbles. It's invaded my life so badly. I've had to hack it up even more.

Marcelo Capone quotes, I used to have the biggest radio show in America, and now I stink. No, Opie, you were a parasite on the show. Anthony was the catalyst, and you won the lot Aesu the Levin notices Tony P sounds like he's trying to talk Opie down from jumping off of a building. And J.J. DuBecke plays us out with, in light of no radio career, the Opster really needs to have a family. Something big happened on Opie show yesterday morning.

I didn't talk about it today because I might do an emergency show this weekend with Adam Bush. There was a Reagan.com in the chat. Who's asking a lot of questions about Venmo. A lot of questions about what's going on. What's the dollar amount? How come it's seeming like Ron's not getting any of this money that people are sending them? That Reagan.com is a real troublemaker. He made a lot of fuss over on Steelto's channel.

Yep. You can make trouble for people. So it's a very interesting episode. We might check it out. Be on the lookout. If you're not subscribed to our YouTube channel, you should be. And hit the notification bell. So you see that when we go live for emergency shows like that.

All right, what's going on in the voicemails? Gary and San Diego. It's a bunch of crap. Swing and a mid. Rock and roller. We miss you, buddy. Carly heard that Dr. Green John

got laid yesterday. Get you every time when Andrew Carl said. I knew what was coming. It was still good. Still good. All right.

Oh, this is the thing I was talking about. Okay, it was a voicembell. I knew I saw this somewhere. Hi, this is Tim McDee calling for WATP. I spent the last year trying to get my life. back in line by getting sober, thanks to the example of stuttering John.

And I just cannot believe that Jerry Banfield is either actually sober because he acts like he's on math, or that he has been successful in any type of recovery program like AA. Imagine sitting in an AA meeting and having to listen to the insanity of Jerry Banfield, offering his advice and asking folks if they can be his sponsor. or if he can sponsor them. After hearing the insanity that he spouts on YouTube, I

just believe either he is going to relapse very soon or that he should just get back on some downers, maybe some booze, some benzos, just to calm the fuck down. The guy should not be in

any type of recovery soon. Because it's not good for the other people. around him and he needs to fucking chill out. Yes, I agree. Well, I think he was microdosing or something. I think he was on a little LSD during that video we watched today. If he did some downers, he wouldn't be

able to do seven videos a day, and I think we need him to, on that wall, you know? That's a good point. Let me tell you, when it comes to 12-step programs, if he is involved, it's not about how many meetings you go to, how long have been sober, your sponsor, whatever. It's

if you can hold a job or not, and we know that he can't. Oh, yeah, good point. He has no responsibility. No, nor is he employable. He's anti-responsibility. He's literally actively destroying his life. And others.

I mean, why would he get a job when he can just get another 20 grand from his credit car company? That's true. He's got cash out hand. Yeah. So ridiculous. So going through the archives made an interesting discovery. Hey, Carl, I was looking to old episodes.

I was shocked episode. 49. You mentioned you went to Dangerfield in New York City, the comedy club that shouldn't be. I was like, oh, that old Carl has no idea what's in store for future, Carl. Also, hey, Chris, you ever considered calling Kevin, and you guys can just take Carl's basement? I mean, look at him. What's he going to do about it? Not a damn thing. All right. See you guys. October 2nd in Greenland. No, Detroit. October 2nd, Detroit.

Detroit, not Greenland. he thinks that Kevin was a better host than I am, so maybe you and him can team up. That'd be a fun episode. You know, I've asked people about jerking off at work. We're getting more submissions. Stop asking me. Hey, Coral, this is about your jerking off at work

segment. Yeah. Yeah, I do a lot of driving while I'm working, so usually I just jerk off while I'm driving. I take the seat bolt off and jerk off into my underwear. I take lots of hands too while I get there. So keep that in mind.

Thank you. Don't call me back. I'm just assuming this guy's like a Grubhub driver or something. It just gets his over there. Where could I possibly wipe these hands? I know. At least he's multitasking. He's doing something while he's jerking off instead of just going in the bathroom like

South Governor. That's a good point. That is a good point. Paco calling into the show. Hey. Yeah, what's so? Carl? This is Paco.

You know, I was listening to Dabble versus Live, and there's something that bothered me. Now, when they ever rise, the person had something dude on, the thing that bothered me was he's talking shit about Andy, how, like, he's loyal to you and shit. Like, what the fuck is wrong with this school? It's like he's never had a fucking friend before. You know what I'm saying? I got food that I've been down since the 90s, and of course, they're going to go my back. You know what I'm saying? Like, what the fuck is wrong with this level, dude?

He's very, you know what I'm saying? Motherfucking needs a friend. See how that shit works out, man. Shout out to Chuck and Andy. He's fucking dope. All right, later. Shout out to Trevor Andy, I agree. Yes, I know what you were saying.

You don't have to keep asking. That was a very interesting segment when Panhander was opining about why, uh, I guess DJ Electric was a little bit too. Like, why is Andy still friends with Carl? He's such a jerk. Nate from Flint, calling. Hey, guys. Nate from Flint, Michigan.

This Jerry Danfeld nonsense is particularly funny to me because I know what it's like to go through a post-divorce meltdown, nervous breakdown, whatever you want to call it. And never once did it occur to me to fucking chronicle my spiral and self-destructive choices for the Internet. Yeah. Missed opportunity. Yeah, that's why you're not a star date. Dubby.

There's a government worker talking about his masturbatory habits at work. Hey, you all were talking about jacketing, jacking it, jacking it. Well, I used to have a job with the government. I was in a room by myself, and no one could come in there, no one could fill me. You know, the only one was clear. Sweet. And I used to jack it. and he's once a day

and you know what it got boring you guess what no more jacket for this guy that's the kind of story I was hoping for I used a jacket at work now I'm just fucking the fry cook you know

what of your happy ending to these stories it made sense when he said it got boring because there was no danger of getting caught so what's the point you know yeah if you lose that job that's a bummer

He's not going to get a job like that ever again. Right. Another story about Jack and that work. I don't know if this guy's in the shower. Don't call me ready to the shower, guys, please. I'm sorry. Guys, what the fuck with all these degenerate losers' stories about masturbating at work? Yeah, not one fucking story about sneaking around with that hot co-worker who has a shitty boyfriend.

Just spanking it on the clock. And before you ask, yes, I've jerked off at work. Go screw. You don't work. Well played, sir. Yes. Very good. All right.

Well, that will do it for this episode of WATP. I feel like we just started. It just flew by. What time is it? Zero. I got to go. Bye. I got to go.

I got to go. I got to go. I got to go. Okay. Bye. Man, that was a good episode. That was a good episode. I enjoyed that.

Yes. Thank you for tuning in. Bye. This is it. It's over. Okay. Goodbye. Goodbye.

Hey, bye. Goodbye. Okay, folks. Guess what? The episode's over. That was a great episode. That was really great. Okay.

Bye. This is going swimmingly. I'm an asshole Who cares? They call it the stinger