Who Are These Podcasts? - Ep763 - Howard Stern on HBO, Jerry Banfield, Opie & Ron

Episode Date: September 20, 2026

Howard Stern has a new TV show on HBO Max. Someone thought it would be a good idea to take Howard’s fledging, one-day-a-week satellite radio show and turn it into a weekly videocast. No one was listening, so who will be watching? This first episode will get more eyeballs than any other and they couldn’t have put out a worse product. Trucker Andy and MLP join the show to point out all of the reasons the Michael Rapaport phony phone call was fake, phony, and unfunny. Opie’s FU Friday with Tony P and Ron the Waiter was mostly wallpaper. Then Ron decided to promote his comedy show by explaining that he’s funnier than Jim Norton. Not only that, he said that everyone on his comedy show is better than Norton and the other comics featured at the Cellar. Is Ron really this dumb? Jerry Banfield wrote a book about his time being a police officer and it’s literally all over the place. He’s selling the shirt he wore on WATP on eBay because he thinks it might be worth thousands of dollars. Wait, is it worth thousands of dollars? Only Jerry can be $200k in debt and love every minute of it. Is he way smarter than the rest of us or just too dumb to comprehend what he’s doing? We finish with Internet News and your voicemails. Andy’s channel: https://www.youtube.com/@StaySorry WATP candy available now: https://www.leiselandfriendsgourmet.com/ Support us, get bonus episodes, and watch live every Saturday and Wednesday: ⁠⁠http://bit.ly/watp-patreon⁠⁠ ⁠⁠https://watp.supercast.tech/⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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And then... It stopped. Sometimes the moments that never happen matter most. Volvo's automatic emergency braking helps ensure a safe ending for everyone. Learn more at VolvoCars.caps.ca. I told them in the strongest of words to just do it. You see, this is a... We just do it kind of show.

Are you a boner guy? Oh, I was a boner guy. Because I'm charismatic, I'm interesting, and I'm real. I'm real. Episode 7? 63. Are you a boner guy? Oh, I was a boner guy.

You know what? I missed penis. Are you a boner guy? Oh, I was a boner guy. What are you talking about? I'm the one who should apologize. Are you a boner guy? Oh, I was a boner guy. By the way, for those people that are in the back,

remember to shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up, asswife, and suck my cock. I've been dying to say that. Maddie-Oh! Cuzz-a-Roe! Slappar-Roo! It's show-time. WATP!

W-A-T-P. WATP. Hello, Welcome to another episode to hear this podcast. The only show that doesn't sell the clothes we're currently wearing.

I'm yours, Carl. With me this week, the man who prefers to talk shit rather than eat it from the All Apologies podcast. Trucker Andy is here.

Let's eat poop. That's not what you say. Also with us, making his third appears on WATP MLP in the house. Appreciate it, thank you. Producer Chris is out on assignment

this week. Please go to Who Are These.com. Get our email address, a voicemail number, link to the suburb, link to our merchandise, link to our YouTube channel. and the link to Patreon and Supercast featuring two exclusive bonus episodes every single month. We're going to be in Royal Oak in just a couple of weeks.

A couple of weeks, Andy. We'll be all done with another live Detroit show, the fifth one in a row. Bigger and better. You're already sold out. Your shit out of luck. Unless people want to sell their tickets and go out the Discord and there's a channel in there for the live meetups and maybe people have extra tickets in there. If you're looking for them or if you need to sell them, that's the place to go to do that.

We encourage our listeners, give us five stars on Apple Podcasts or wherever you review podcast and then shit all over in the comment section. Today, we'll be reviewing the Howard Stern Show on HBO. We've all watched separately and I've discussed it with each other. Let's get into it. The Howard Stern Show is now on HBO, which is the oddest thing. I thought for sure, and you can go back years ago when there was contract negotiations, I said the thing that makes the most sense, Howard goes on a streaming platform like Netflix,

like HBO, and does hour-long interviews with celebrities. that's what Howard likes to do that makes the most sense when I found out about the HBO thing I said all right well they're going to get the celebrity interviews he's done or like live performances you know he gets the bands in there and shit them, Metallica or whatever kiss

and that'll be the show so I was shocked that they literally just pare down the radio show to 90 minutes and it's so awkward like there's no flow to it it's like clip clip clip clip clip clip clip clip clip they try to make it seem like it's a flowing radio show Yeah.

But it's weird. And the person who edits it doesn't have a shit lot of time to do it. He does the show on Monday and then has to be out by Thursday. So, you know, trying to figure out what the best parts are in a show that there's no good parts is really tough. I thought the radio show has been unlistenable lately. MLP, you've been listening. It's, you know, obviously, before he left for vacation. It was pretty, it's pretty, I guess, boring for the most part.

And to your point about clipping the show, you know, they, they clipped it up into a million different pieces, but they didn't even do it sequentially, like, to follow the radio show. You're right. Because I was listening to the radio show a little bit. We pulled some clips when I was down with who are these broadcasters on Tuesday. And one of the big differences between the radio show and the HBO show is that on the radio, how it spends the first segment justifying his existence. It's so bizarre.

Like, I don't know if he just never hears bad press. I think this happened last year, too, after the summer vacation. where he's like, whoa, why is everyone saying they don't give a shit about us, Robin? What the hell's going on over here? So he came on and, like, listed his resume. You know, I'm a best-selling author, and I made a movie. He's like, yeah, we know. He said movies.

Did he say movies? Yeah. I'm friends with Jimmy Kimmel. Right. It's like, this is, it's hard to edit. It's hard to fucking watch. It's hard to listen. There's zero things to enjoy about this HBO show.

To your point, why wouldn't you level up? and try and deliver something new and exciting for a new and exciting platform. But it's, I could not believe how they just went to the well of familiarity and boring-ass shit. Completely lacks creativity. It's just like, oh, we'll just do the radio show and just clip it up. At least the e-show was like interesting segments. There'd be celebrity interviews and stuff like that. But it would also be like if there was shit going on in the back office and then they ended up

coming on to the show and they had to talk to him. The e-campers would follow him into the back office. You could see what's going on. That was a cool dynamic to that show. This is just Howard's at home. Wolfie's on the show a lot. Maybe it's just this episode. He's like in Pennsylvania somewhere.

Yeah. Robbins at home. Is everyone else in the studio? JD's in the studio. Chris Wilde. Gary, Chris and Sam. But I'm not sure. Like, I assume Richard and maybe seller there. They didn't make an appearance on this one, right?

Why would they? Because that would be entertaining if they came on, but no, we're not going to do anything fun. So Howard starts off the show in the most predictable fucking way possible. Yeah. Hey now. Hello, hello. Hey, oh. I'm exhausted already.

Where did my summer go? When I was a child, the summer lasted forever. You didn't even think about it. And now it just goes in a flash. You were anxious for school to start. What? Nobody who What the fuck you're talking about?

Robin's brain dead We're out of the gate on this one Remember when you were kids We couldn't wait for school to start? No, I doubt. And kids always think Summer's not long enough. Oh, it lasts forever.

No, it goes by way too quick. It's so obnoxious because Howard didn't come back until the 13th of September. So we're like two and a half months ago is what he did his last show. He's complaining. I didn't get enough time off.

Like, the people fucking listen to the show don't get summer off. No. It's so obnoxious. So for whatever reason, like I mentioned, Howard felt a need to, like, prove people wrong and prove that he deserves to still be on serious XM and have this new HBO deal. So now, even this new arrangement with HBO, they've been nothing but sweetheart. I've had meetings with them, and we are all so excited about putting the show on HBO. And this has been a tremendous joy.

At one time, there was a question. question whether you could make a living. And look at what you've done. I've spent my entire career proving the haters wrong, including everyone who said I only had a face for radio. Believe it or not, HBO has put me on.

We're so far past that. His movie is about his time on the radio up until the mid-80s. He was a wild success in New York. It had the highest ratings and everything. This is insane. It's like, can you believe that I actually still have a job?

Like, you're Howard fucking stirred, man. And I don't just have a face for radio. I know you have a movie and a TV show, multiple TV shows. Like, Howard TV? What is going on here? It really did start off giving me hope that it would return to something like the e-show. You kind of get that. You get your hopes up that they're going to do something fun.

And the level of old person games. is juxtaposed against the hot porn star Sibian shit. Yeah. It's just so disappointing. Yeah. So one of the knocks, and I'll get into this more when I have the clips coming up in a second, but one of the knocks on Howard is like, you know, there used to be like hot girls and strippers and like, you know, crazy sex talking shit.

That's all gone, but the sex talk's still there, but with geriatric characters. Or Chris Wilding. Or Chris Wilding gay robs. All right, we'll get into all that. First off, Gary is out O-Zempic. Was Gary that fat? No. No, it's so bizarre.

So he's on O-Zepic, and Howard tells the story about a celebrity friend he knows who's on Ozempic and is shitting the bed. Literally wakes up with shit in his pants in the bed. Let's take guesses about who it is. I mean, it's bullshit. Jimmy Kimmel. Maybe it's Jimmy Kimmel. So they ask Gary if he's shooting the bed now they're on Ozumpic. Oh, it's funny to say this because what you're, so I was having the constipation.

thing for a while. I take a stool softener. Something happened on Friday. I don't know what it was. I wasn't going to shit my pants, but I took two public shits in one day. Wow. Because, like, I was at the bank, and I was

like, I don't think I'm going to make it home. I got to go. Wow. And then I was somewhere else, and I was like, do you have a bathroom I can use? And so, yeah. Do they have a bathroom at the bank? Fascinating. Do you go on? Do they have a bathroom with the bank robin?

I'd like to make two deposits. The fact that Robert's so fucking out of it. That public place, is there a bathroom there? Well, yeah. There has to be. Now, there's nothing old people enjoy more than talking about their health problems and how many times they pee overnight or how many shits they took that day. Howard brings that up.

Yep. You know, Howard has to stop drinking water at 4 p.m. because he gets up having to pee all the time. So much old man talk. But then Gary talking about like, yeah, I had to poop a bunch. Like, okay, cool. Wolfie pops on. Wasn't Wolfie the guy who was in charge of like going to the events and doing

whack packer stuff? He did a lot of whack packer. So he's like a big foot handler. He talks to him most of the times. But yeah, they send him to, I think the latest one, they sent him to like a jiz mopping convention. Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I remember hearing about that.

So obviously Shooley was the Wackpack Wrangler. He left the show in 2020. Wolfie was already working for the show as a correspondent. But I think he's kind of worked into that Shulie role, even though they don't really deal with whackbackers much anymore. For some reason, I didn't realize that is that Wolfie's just like an on mic, on air personality at all times, just chimes in, which I was kind of surprised by. Like, really?

We fired Benji, but Wolfie chimes in whatever the fuck he wants. It's okay. It's odd, too, because, and I don't know if this is a product of everybody getting fired, so there's less people fighting for airtime. So he gets that opportunity to be on Mike more. But it's just odd. It is odd. So we'll be starting off the riffing on pooping at the bank.

Let's go for it. Gary, does the bank teller give you a look when you shit in their bank? No, because it was, it was, she goes, it's on the second floor. So like, I would, you know, it wasn't like a little one-timer. A shit and their vault. Yeah, I was thinking maybe there's a stool in the vault. I want my ass with $100. of bills.

I'm sorry, Robin, did you want to repeat Fred's joke? Mm-hmm. I was going to say that joke. Cool.

Keep it to yourself next time. You missed your opportunity. Robin's completely out of touch with everything. Everything. They just tell her

to show up and so, but she used to be the foil to say controversial shit. Mm-hmm. And she doesn't serve any purpose. She serves no purpose. She doesn't read the news.

She doesn't do anything. Yeah. I was going to say the news was the news lady. She was the news lady. She does. tell us, and I don't think it's on the HBO version, she does tell us that she's

been fasting for six days. She's only drinking liquid. Do you hear that part? No. She's not eating a solid food in six days. That's the only thing that hasn't changed is Robin talking about what's going in and out of her asshole. Her coffee out of us.

A wackadoo diet, man. She's out there. So, one of the things that they have to rag on is Gary, what does he eat? I was so with, you know, Gary's shrimp like this. Like, are they still fucking do with this?

Maybe Suttering John would be on the show. This show, I'm going to say it, for real. This show would be better if Sutterer John was out of. There'd be something going on because all these people would just go through the motions. That's a horrific assertion for Howard to maybe realize that. The show would be better. Sonor and John doesn't make any show better, but it would make this show better. So, of course, they have to rag on Gary for not working and doing a bunch of stuff.

Like I went to the John Mayer concert, and we weren't out that late, but I, you know, for the whole next day I needed to recover. Howard, can I give you a list of the things that Gary did this summer? It's crazy. It's going to make me crazy, though. He went for a week vacation to Cape Cod, a day trip to Nantucket, a Mets game, trip to North Carolina, lunch with Robin, lunch with you and Beth, a Weird Al concert, John Mayer concert, John Fogarty and Steve Windwood concert. He saw a cover band called Yachtley Crew, and he went to the U.S. Open. It's insane. It adds to me this, Wolfie, maybe you know the answer to this.

Do we pay Gary over the summer, or is he work? Is he, like, in other words, like off and then he just doesn't get any salary? I thought he was off for the summer. I mean, based on that schedule. Why would anybody be working over the summer? What would Gary do? I know if Howard's not there. What's he doing?

booking celebrity guests for the next like 18 episodes there are for the rest of the year. He certainly didn't book one for this. Right. So he really didn't do anything. But that you listed 10 things out of three months. It's not, it's not overwhelming. Yeah, going to concerts. It's like, whoa.

He saw three concerts. Ooh. Shitty concerts. And Howard won't shut up about John Mayer. Hey guys, I did something and I'm going to bring it up constantly. It's the only thing you did. The video that came out of him and Beth walking around was from, when he went to go see John Maris.

The only time he left the house. Well, wait, he did go to Idaho. Or Iowa, which one was? Or Iowa, he wasn't sure, with Jimmy Kimmel for two days? Yeah.

Who would want to go on vacation with fucking Howard? Jimmy Kimmel invites him to this vacation. He's like, hey, you want to go fishing? And Howard's like, no, I don't do that. Okay. Well, I guess I'll go fishing without you. Have fun at the house. Bye.

So that was Gary Summer, and of course, it has to be like, oh, what are we even paying you for? What are you paying anyone for? Give everyone the fucking supper off. Howard takes the supper off. Everyone gets the supper off. I don't know what else they'd be doing.

So speaking to Jimmy Kimmel, Jimmy is coming to Brooklyn. He's going to do his late night show for a week in Brooklyn. And they want to book Howard to come on, of course. And this is an addition of old people don't remember stuff. Oh, they called up and they wanted to be on a Monday. I go, Monday's the day I work. So I said, that's not good.

So I'm going to do a Tuesday. Day. Jimmy Show and then I got to go all the way to Brooklyn. I haven't been to Brooklyn since my Aunt Sally died. No. When did Anne Sally die? Aunt Sally died back in the 80s, I believe, her 90s. Well, you did Demi Show in Brooklyn once.

Oh, I did. Did I do it? No, I didn't. I did in L.A. I think you're wrong. No. I don't think I did it in Brooklyn. I did?

Was that a dinner? No, we had a dinner. No, because I was there. I was there. You were? in a room, Flav of Flav attacked me. That was L.A.

That was L.A. That was not in L.A. Yeah. 100% sure. 100% it was not, because I went to Brooklyn. Where's Fafah? Fohi.

Do you know? Where was I? I got to defend Robin on this one. It was Brooklyn. I think it was like the year the Mets were in the World Series, but I remember like some of the Mets were there. And I remember talking to Huey Lewis

who wanted to say hello to you. So you were definitely there. what are we watching? Like, it's like, it's like Laram is in the nursing home and he's got his leg up on the bed and they're just like chit-chatting. This is a phone call that they're having.

Yeah. When was that time I was in Brooklyn? I think were we there like just a few years ago? No, I don't think I was there. It's not that far away. Let's three-way in Gary Delabate. Maybe he'll know. When the last I was in Brooklyn.

I guess it was one of the many people that got laid off's job to keep track of what Howard did five years ago. All right. So Howard is doing the same bits he's been doing for decades. For some reason, it wears on me because it's just unimaginative. It's a Sunday.

Why do they have tolls on a Sunday? They got to give people a break. Ben, calm down. You'll have a heart attack. Gee, Dad, why do they have to- Shut up, you moron. I'm just trying to find out why do they have tolls? Because they're idiots like you.

Shut up. Fresh stuff. That's why it upsets you that it's even more over the top. A tired bit that's of an impression of somebody who's passed on that's even older than Howard. And now I'm going to just make it more performative. But without any jokes. Yeah, it's irritating. Did they have comedy writers on this show anymore?

because I saw people coming into the studio and it shows their name and title. I saw the word writer a few times. It's like, do you want that title? I feel like that'd be a bad thing. I guess he's assuming the HBO audience has never seen him do his parents. Yeah, maybe that's what it is.

You know, I should mention. So at the beginning, I said, I was really surprised and it's just the radio show. I would have fucking killed for this 20 years ago. Like, when Ardy was on the show and shit, if we could have watched the show like this,

that'd mean awesome. the Howard Stern show in its prime Swin Fantastic when they do the Roses and all the different things they would do in studio The E show. Yeah. But no, like, the E show wasn't like a start to finish episode. It was like a segment of episodes. So you wouldn't get like

Robin's News. You wouldn't get like things that you enjoyed from the radio. Highlight reel. Right. If they did this, I mean I never had Howard TV so maybe that was that. I don't even know if it was though. I don't think so. I think Howard TV was also just like certain segments. I didn't, I never watched. I mean, the last I saw was the E show.

Right. So, I mean, I guess my point is, it sucks. The show sucks so bad. That was on HBO for some reason. And it's not on HBO proper, right? Right? It's not like a time slot on HBO. No, it is.

It is. They have a podcast section when you go to the HBO app. No, no, I'm talking about if you turn your TV and go to HBO, can you watch it when it's on at a certain time? Yeah. Linear viewing. Like stream it live. Oh, I don't know.

Yeah. You know, like Bill Maher has a show. on at 10 o'clock on Fridays Oh, I don't think they put this out live. That's what I mean. Yeah, I don't think it is either. I think it's only on the app, which is whatever. That's how I watch everything on HBO anyway.

Yeah. It's just, it's interesting. And I will say, I was mentioning that they've given it no publicity. I haven't seen a lot of shit coming out from HBO. When I went on the app on Thursday, it was front and center. So they were at least promoting it the day that it came out. I had to look for it this morning. Did you?

This morning, yes, it was probably already coming gone that. I looked up reviews of it. It is getting panned. Yeah. I mean, there aren't a ton of reviews yet, but critics, not great and viewers. Well, I saw, like, you and Blind Mike were talking about it, that stinger they put out where you were thinking you're going to see the old e-show and it's going to be exciting and it's going to be fun and wild, and then it's this.

You're talking about the trailer? Yeah. All right, so Howard plays the trailer near the end of the episode here. Yes, our staff put together a beautiful trailer. I knew the future. I wasn't going to fail. I just wanted to prove something for the world People liked it

They liked being part of something Movement Our show was a reality show Before reality TV You're insane Fred Welcome to the new era of Howard Stern And I think Blime Mike and I were talking about this

This is the worst way to market this Yeah Remember how cool this show used to be It was like cutting edge Before it's time and all these ways You're like yeah I remember that Well it's tired And we have all this other stuff

Not'll distract us Oh okay leave it to the king of all media Hey now, come on everybody let's have some fun now Did you get the chills when I said that? Yes, I did. I could feel it There you go, you gotta get it

How am I doing? Every single day People come out and go Love you. That J-Lo interview is unwatchable I did a fucking review on that That's one of the highlights of this It's only one of you To two hours turn is A1 steak sauce This is the pinnacle of my career

If you want to go there We can go there You've done so much work on yourself that you genuinely want to know what makes people take. That's interesting right there. It shows he's grown. He must just be like, the woke version of Howard Stern. He's grown old.

Yes, what it should say? For sure. People always ask me, well, who do you think is the best interviewer? Howard Stern, because the format fits him so perfectly. Did you have Luce Study? Right off the bat, I want to know. My cock is gone! Whatever we have going on, I want the audience.

I would love to see that when Sal gets hypnotized. and thinks it's cockus gone. I've never seen the video of that before. Being on that soap up. Somebody unwrapped my fucking bagel. What's the joke? This is the fucking joke. The variety of people the show has brought together is unthinkable.

Oscar winners, governors, stockbrokers. Baba booie. Who else could have Beetle juice and a beetle on the same show? Give that editor and Oscar. I just got the chills. He's reading through the email. else. And load be old, everyone's thrilled with this.

They're all super stoked about it. Nothing negative at all coming in. God, the calls on this show, too, are so fake. There's a fake prank call that we'll get to in a little bit. But Howard was talking about promoting this thing, and he had a meeting at HBO. And so he had a pitch for what they should do to promote the show. Yeah. But I had the meeting and I had a bunch of suggestions, including I wanted to go up to HBO and shoot a film.

like do a 20-minute film. Oh. I was on with their executives, and I go, I come into the HBO building. The building is attacked. There's a woman who works there. Nina, I save her life from terrorists and carry her out, and then I make love to her. So, Mammett was, let go. This is a Mometbett.

Howard Stern comes again. It's going to be the billboard and shooting jizz and everyone at Times Square. And everyone was just like, well, that's a ridiculous problem. Obviously, we can't do that. this is what Howard's doing right now I don't even think he believes what he's saying though Of course not It's retarded

It's a 20 minute film Was it a school project What are we talking about Why would you have that? This is so dumb Fucking anti-climactic To the trailer where they're showing a parade Of celebrities

How they don't have Some A-list celebrity interview participating in the very first episode Of this HBO show Is a failure and everybody that he employs. Howard can't call in a favor with one of his fucking A-less celebrity friends? He has them over to the house.

They're having dinner parties over there. You can't have one of them come on for this? It's a bunch of them live in New York. They could go down to the serious building and have been a part of this. It's very odd that they did this. And you're right. The trailer is a little off-putting because you see crowds in the streets, you know, when he moved to a satellite and everyone's gathering there.

and then you have like his birthday show and a giant theater that's sold out it's like all this craziness going on and then you get to the show it's just like Howard's in his basement yeah you guys like Ronnie Munn puppet or oh god yeah we'll get into that the other thing that's weird about this it's a little off-putting so Howard's and not in the studio

but Gary and everyone comes in and looks at him so I imagine he's up on like a big screen on the wall or something I want to see that angle I want to see what they see when they're talking to Howard. Yeah. And I want to see what Howard see when he's talking to them. Yeah, they desperately try and make it look like they're all still together. Right.

They could have decorated his studio better to make it look like he's there. They said, I heard over the summer, though, they decommissioned his studio finally. The Florida one? No, the one actually at serious. Oh, the one that's serious. Oh, so he couldn't come back if he wanted to. No, I think they took his whole... It makes sense.

Yeah, that would have waste of space. Right. When you talk about the design and the design. I really wanted to see easy for you to say behind Robin. She's got her book, one of Howard, but he's got multiple books. I have one Howard book, some other book I didn't know. But if easy for you to say it was in there, that would have been a fantastic, interesting thing. Is it the education of Robin, the book that I have over here?

Is that the book she has behind her? I don't know what you. I can send her my easy for you to say. Say whatever belly dress. So that's the other thing I just remembered. Howard has the studio in the Hamptons and he also has one in his Florida house but I believe he's not allowed to broadcast

from his Florida house because there's some law there about working from home and you have to pay some kind of tax or something like that do you guys know about this? No. All right, let's keep it on the deal out because I know somebody works from Florida sometimes. Anyway, not the point.

The point is Robben doesn't know how to fucking use her equipment. What the woman said. I said, listen, if I say I'm coming, I'm going to come. I'm going to the show. your mic's dead you turned it off Jesus Christ What's your reputation there? You know you're funny you hit the cough button

And then you forget to turn yourself back on Pops back up No no no no The cough button should not turn off your mic Unless you're holding it No You've got it Are you kidding me

Why did that make the cut for HBO? There's so many things it didn't get in. Yeah. But Robin fucking up her cough button got in. 35 years in the business. Still doesn't know how fucking cough button. And we'll fight you tooth and nail about the fact that, oh, no, I did it right.

It's the equipment that sucks. She couldn't hear herself in the headphones either. She's just talking. Like, wouldn't she know that no one could hear? She's so fucking out of it. Another fucking planet. She's so far gone. And I will say, she is very much like, doesn't deal with the peasants.

You know, let them eat cake. I think her motto, because this is extremely tone deaf. Yeah. If you weren't invited to Taylor Swift's wedding, what are you even doing? You should be calling all of your people, everybody's, everybody should be fired.

Right. Robin, do you know what just happened? Howard's complaining to get invited to Taylor Swift's wedding. Rob was like, we got way off the staff. That way ahead of you there, Robin, we got that part. Is that why everyone got fired? Maybe. It's Howard to get the invite.

Benji, you were a Taylor Swift's wedding, and I Wasn't there? What the fuck? Him and Elisa Jordana are there. Did you guys know that Chris Wilding's gay? Unfortunately. I mean, he never brings it up. It's the only thing I know about Chris Wilding. His only personality trait is that he's a gay man.

And that's all hard ones to talk to about is gay sex and his gay adventures. I heard you broke up with your boyfriend or something? Yeah, I had a miserable summer. I had a lot of health issues. I broke up with my boyfriend. What's wrong with you? I don't know, man. I'm going actually from my yearly physical on Friday.

but as an example, I haven't had a solid stool in weeks. Nice. And now I'm seeing a new guy, and he loves to eat my ass, so that's like a minefield. I have a huge style on my eye. You're having huge, like, problems with your stools. They're coming out like soft serve. So you probably have to prep for this guy to eat your asshole, like hours. I avoid even seeing him at this point.

Should you prep your asshole if someone's going to go down on it? I was not aware of this. I guess it depends on your kink, but. Is having a stye on your eye a symptom of being gay? I wonder why his pink guys. He's talking about him to his boyfriend looking each other's asses. This fucking shitty ass. Howard has like maybe the dumbest question ever.

Another guys now. What am I supposed to do? How are you getting your ass eating? When I can, when it's safe to do so, which is a very limited window this summer. Can you come from a guy licking your asshole? If I jerk off, yeah. Yeah. But some of these guys, Howard, they love it.

I mean, like obsessing. They have to do it. And I don't personally get it. I don't like to do it. And I feel bad when a guy does it to me, but they love it. Can you come from a guy licking your asshole? Only if I jerk off. So that's a no.

Right. Why would you come from a guy looking your asshole? Can you, Howard? Did Ralph lick your asshole? Were you able to come from that? It's a lot of Ralph talk on this episode. I was actually kind of surprised by that. The one thing they do well is they do find old footage and they'll pop it in.

So they're talking about old characters or old. or old events happened on the show. I'll show you an example of that with Michael Rappaport. It was kind of nice to see them talk fondly about Ralph. That was the one brief moment of this that I did enjoy. And you can tell. Howard was in love with Ralph. Right.

You're actually like they didn't talk fondly about him. Do you remember the tribute when he died? Mm-hmm. It was a love affair. Yeah. I mean, but I'm just saying it was the only genuine interesting thing about this. That story that they told

about Ralph and his Tonight Show appearance, they actually did that same exact story, almost like word for word, earlier this year. I tried desperately to find it. I was going, combing through all the old episodes, but it was like verbatim, the same story. They're completely out of fucking ideas. Ralph would go to David

Letterman and eat all the food that was there, and Howard didn't want him there, and he'd stick around. There's a comedian who used to date someone on the show who told me that Ralph was a fuck toy that was past around. Anyway, not the point. So Howard thinks gay sex is still titillating in 2026. You know, talking to this guy about, whoa, you lick his asshole, he looks your asshole. Well, it's like, yeah, it's gay sex, Howard. There's a fucking TV show about it where they sometimes play hockey.

We all know about gay sex. But Howard thinks very narrowly when it comes to, like, gay men. So if he sees a gay man, then he thinks of Chris Wilding. I thought of you at the John Mayer concert. I saw Andy with his new boyfriend. Oh, my God. And, oh, my God, are they in love? Are they putting on a show? Are they putting on a show?

A, as they say. PDA. So Howard sees two guys holding hands. He's just like, oh, Roger, Chris Wilding. Weird? I want to hold his hand. Which one? Andy Cohen?

It's so bizarre that they think that everybody that loved the show because of the strippers and the porn stars and the horniness that they decided was toxic masculinity to a broader audience can be replaced with gay antics and gay sex. And that's going to satisfy the appetite of the audience that built this show. Or counterpoint, Howard's gay. I mean, I don't think this is like a well-thought-out thing. We're just like, all right, let's do this. Let's have Cocktober, because it'll be a funny goof. I think Howard just like, let's talk about dicks for like an entire bun.

I'm just throwing it out there. I still think that it's a pivot, because everybody likes to blame Marcy Turk for doing the woke pivot for the show. Sure. But I still think that Beth ruined the show by not wanting Howard to have porn stars and like that kind of element on the show. anymore. Like once they got married, she's like, that's it with the porn stars. And they're like, okay, I guess we'll just talk about sales

pout or whatever. The fucking uncircumcised cock and gay sex. That's interesting. It's completely anti... I wonder if it's the in-laws, too. When Opie got married, all of a sudden, he didn't like a lot of Jim's characters.

He didn't like Uncle Paul anymore because the in-laws would give him shit. Why is Jim playing a pedophile on the show? it's like, it's made up character but silly goof she's got two brothers and she,

they talk about it openly all the time. Oh, they're huge stern fans. Yeah, football guys and everything. Yeah. I don't think,

yeah, that's sure. I don't think her brothers would be the concern. But yeah, you might be right. Beth could be the reason why, you know,

it's funny. Everyone always says, uh, Yoko, oh no. Whenever they talk about a woman fucking things up. Mm-hmm.

And then you watch that Beatles documentary get back and it's like, Yoko wasn't the problem. Mm-hmm. Which is, which is wild. Like,

She kind of kept to herself. It's kind of nice. She didn't expect to sing vocals on any of the tracks or anything like that, which is good. So Howard's eye, Andy Cohen, because this John Mayer concert was sponsored by Sirius, so all their stars were out there. And Andy Cohen did a promo on social media with Howard. Get ready for some deuce chills with this one. What's the matter?

You get Howard. I thought you were professional. People are behind us. So what? But you've never had people behind you? Wait a second. You call yourself a professional broadcast. Take two. Okay. Go ahead. Are there people behind us? Oh, okay. No people. Everything's a go. Howard, you wise guy. Last year, we pranked the world. We made everybody think that I was taking over Howard 100. It was the best morning.

Now the carrot is being dangled that Radio Andy will be taking over 101. Is this a prank? Am I being pranked? Or can you? No, you are not being pranked. Andy has been gracious enough to take over 101, and I have one request. Please continue the tradition of doing a lot of gay antics because, you know. Well, your show's gayer than mine. My show is gay, so I hope you up the gay on your channel. Last question. Yes.

Any chance I could get 100 and you take 101? No, I'm not giving up 100. Okay, all right. Listen, you did well. You got distracted when there were people behind you. Hey, but I'm very, I feel Howard 1001 is in. very capable hands. Enjoy it.

Take good care of it. Yes. And if you blow it, I will be the first one to laugh at you. I'm sure you will. Don't screw it up. Radio Andy, now on 101. One o one. Thanks, Howard.

All right. Wow. The chemistry with these, too, huh? You can almost see the gunpoint at his head. Jesus Christ. I mean, Howard's pretending that all this was his idea. I didn't want it 101 anymore. It's too much work.

I only want to do one day a week. I want to get paid way less money. This is great. I don't believe any other. Did you hear him also? He said he had a third channel that he never even did anything like that. Yeah, I did hear him saying that. He won't 102 also.

Was it 102? That's what he said. Because that was like the stars or whatever, that channel. It was never anything that was interesting. How miserable is he because of that? Just any downgrade in his clout, it eats him alive. Well, I think the HBO thing makes it okay. Which, again, fucking huge props for Howard Stern.

This day at 80, 72 years old. And he's signing a new deal with this huge streaming service. like that. I don't know how much money he's making. I'd love to know. It's got to be millions of dollars, obviously.

But why would HBO spend a lot of money for the show? I don't know how it benefits HBO. HBO has so much going for it. There's so many reasons to have HBO. I don't know. Anyone's like, oh, Howard's out in there?

Actually, okay. Let me play this fucking fake phone call now that we brought that up because every person who calls in has to say something fake at first. Let's go to Cody Cody in Indiana.

You're on the air. I was going to cancel my HBO Mac, but now I find out for like an annual pass just now that you're on there. So I'm excited. But I'm 36 years old. Well, I mean, they have to shoehorn this shit at every time.

Howard, you know, I renewed my serious XM because your show's the best. And I can't wait. I got a new car. I couldn't wait to get a new package. I don't think I can get serious in my new Jeep.

honestly, they didn't ask me and I don't see it on the radio, I don't see it on the interface. It's a dying fucking thing. Yeah, they're not putting satellite in cars anymore, right? No, why would they? Everybody just plugs in their phone and has a custom playlist

at their fingertips, so you don't fucking need it. I mean, that's the dumbest fucking thing to think that someone was going to cancel HBO and then Howard's on there one day a week, so okay, now I'm going to pay for it. Sure. Yeah, I got an annual pass for this whatever however many episodes this is going to be not worth it is all i can say you don't

need you don't need any of this nobody needs any of this uh my buddy jay puts it on plex not the point so this caller's calling in during the ron the limo driver segment so i just let's play the rest of this phone call and you'll pass just now that you're on there so i'm excited but uh i'm 36 years old and my wife is 38. We try to have sex, you know, two to three times a week. But having little kids, it's kind of hard. But sometimes we're just tired. I don't understand where Ronnie gets all the energy.

So Ronnie's talking about a sex life. That's where I was going to go next. I kind of got ahead of myself because I want to play that phony phone call. Fake phone call, I should say. There's a phony phone call that I call a phony-phony-phone call. That's coming up momentarily. But we've got to transition into geriatric sex talk. Who the fuck would be compelled to call into a show and be like,

well, I'm 36. I'm not fucking as much as Rod. Thanks for the call, man. You've added nothing. It's so fake and dumb. I don't even know when they record this show. We're to believe at 7 a.m. on the East Coast. Is that when it comes on live?

I mean, Ronnie's always talking about getting up at like three in the morning. I think he's supposed to say that, right? I don't know. Who knows? Maybe it is, actually. Wasn't that a rumor that they were pre-recording it and perpetrating it? Yes. It's a rumor.

Monique from Radio Gang swears by it. She knows her shit when it comes to Howard Stern. It's why they don't do the news anymore. It's why there's nothing topical or, like, breaking on the show. But also, I did pull a clip this year on WTP, I can remember one, of Howard going, oh, what am I here just wasting my afternoon? I mean, my morning? Yeah.

It's like, uh, whoops. Um, all right, so, yeah, let's transition into, uh, geriatric sex talk. Let me get to Ronnie. Have you heard about this, Chris? Yeah, it's, uh, it's, it's absolutely fascinating. Yeah. I mean, it is. Oh.

It's just. Fucking amazing that a guy Ronnie said, listen, I'm younger than Ronnie. Ronnie is way more involved sexually. And I'm going to tell you, you know, I still get a full boner. I wake up every morning with a boner. I wake up in the middle of the night with a boner. And I'm proud to say that. And I think part of it is...

Every time you wake up, you have a boner. Every time I wake up, I have a boner. What are you laughing about, Robin? Boners. Jesus Christ. Why does she laugh after everything? She says like Dr. Hibber. She can't help herself.

I've got one Hello Howard I'm the exact age bracket The HBO is trying to target And I subscribe only because of you I know The guy has to give out his fucking demographics I'm a white male between 35 and 39

I just wanted to say that I was going to cancel HBO But Also like once it's out Won't people just clip it and put it on YouTube anyway They might police it It's pretty good of policing their stuff on YouTube Howard used to police the fuck out of his stuff Do you guys remember that

Yeah He'd get so pissed When things would come up Now there's like I don't know if it's still up there. I think it is. There's a whole channel that just has every single episode of Howard Stern as they come out. So I don't think anyone's paying attention anymore.

I don't think anyone cares. All right, here's the good old Howard that we all know and love. No fun, man. I have no fucking fun. I was being interviewed by the New York Times for this HBO deal. She goes, what do you do for fun or something? I forget what the question was. I said, I don't have fun. She goes, what do you mean you don't have fun? Oh, she said, oh, do you enjoy playing the guitar? Do you have fun?

No. I go, no. When I play the guitar, Tara, it's a job. I sit down with a sheet of paper, what I have to practice, and to me, it's a job. You want to get better, it's a job. I don't want to be some dick who never gets better. That doesn't interest me. And I said to her, I don't have fun. And then, like, she made a good argument that I do have fun.

I said, okay, yeah, I guess I was being dramatic for the article. But I went home and reflected, I really don't have fun. So you're saying I should go to therapy, Howard? That's what I should do is start analyzing my childhood and talk to a therapist four days a week. I mean, this is a commercial for therapy not working. Yeah. It's been in therapy. Fucking miserable.

Yeah. I don't know how to have fun. Decades and he's still miserable. You're a billionaire. Fucking mansions and a wife to fuck. Can't you have a little bit of fun? And he brings that up. The closest I come to having fun is having sex with my wife.

And now I'm like, gee, I wonder if she's satisfied. You know, you know what I mean? Fucking bad. Because you imagine being bad. Like, I mean, I don't like it either. So if you're not having fun, We can cut that whole thing out of our lives. Can we get just like a thumbs up maybe if you're having a good time?

Yeah, right. I'm going to have me to take this survey afterwards if you can complete this by the end of the day today. That'd be fantastic. All right. So Samantha Fontana, Sam, she is a writer on the show and she is the one with the Ronnie Scoop because she called him over the summer. I guess this is what you could do on the summer break is call Ron the Limo Driver. and so she called him and she's getting all the

info that we have to talk about on the first show back. This was the first one. I am thrilled to report that Ronnie likes to eat Stephanie out in the swimming pool. Yeah. Think about that for a second.

Here's Sam talking to Ronnie. Yes. There's a clip. Have you and Stephanie ever fucked in the pool? Oh yeah. In the pool and the hot tub bowl. I don't care. We've been listening to Ronnie talk about fucking Stephanie for 20 years, 25 years?

I don't care. I really don't give a fuck. How often they fuck? Where they fuck? This goes on for a very long time. This is a long segment on the show. Oh, God, I did scrub through this because it got so belabored. And when you say, I don't care, I do care in the sense that I care that I not have to listen to this.

I don't want to hear it. about Ronnie fucking. Mike, you listen to the radio broadcast. It's even longer on the radio show. Yeah. It's 30 minutes. Yeah. I'm just talking about Ron and his wife fucking.

And it's always the same conversation. It's always the same conversation. Like, dude, you're so horny. I know, man. I'm so horny. Cool. And then, you know, it's all Ronnie thinks about is sex in NASCAR. Sex and, like, it's always the same thing.

It's always the same fucking thing. I'm just not interested in Ron the Limel Driver. I know that he's a big character on the show now. He shouldn't be. He's not interesting. I've never been interested in Ron the limo driver. It doesn't make any... He tried to retire.

He's like, Howard, I'm retiring. He's like, no, you're not going to retire. He's like, no, I am. I got a house in Vegas. I'm leaving. I'm retiring. And Howard's like, I can't let you retire. So he's still on the fucking show.

He didn't want to be. He wants to be done with this thing. Well, he's the whipping boy, though. I mean, he is, he does serve a purpose for the show. He's the only one who's, like, enjoying his life. Yeah. Him and Gary Delabate. Yeah.

Everyone else is fucking miserable. Mm-hmm. And at least it's straight sex, not gay guys eating unclean buttholes. He's 84 years old, Auntie. Do you guys want to hear about eating shitty gay butts or a lemon party? What do you want to hear? That's what we're at at this point. And then, of course, the Ronnie Puppet that is handled by Fred has to come into play here.

This is a hilarious banter. By the way, do you know who also had a lot of sex this summer? Who? The Ronnie Puppet. Oh, yeah. Shaky Ronnie Puppet. He wants a report on him. What were you up to this summer, Ronnie Puppet?

Good. Got in the pool, man. Got all those fucking chlorinated juices all up in my fucking beard. And I don't shoot my load in the fucking pool, man, but I was leaking fucking pre-cum shit. Leaking out. It's kind of like an oil spill. And I had to fucking use darn soap on Stephanie. Clearing it off like a fucking duck after. It's cool, man.

So you were very sexual as well. Yeah, man. Yeah. Well, that's amazing. It's a sex-filled summer. I like Fred's impression. It's fine. It's not Fred.

It's not Fred. It's not Fred. Who's that? No, that's headwriter Will Murray. Oh, that's Will Murray doing that? Oh, okay. I mean, the impression's good. The actual materials, nothing. Yeah.

And I guess it's tough because you're like, you have to do the same jokes over and over again because Ron always has the same shit. They just make fun the way he speaks, basically. Yeah. It's the closest thing to comedy. And Will, his impression is good. And you could, there is a moment where you see that that person is in studio with the puppet. They show like a two shot of somebody else that's actually there too.

Right. Which, when you said it was Fred, I was like, oh, so somebody is actually in some studio with more than one person, unlike Robin, unlike Howard. But so where's Fred? He's probably home too, right? No, he's in Stu. They showed him earlier with the board. Oh, did they? Okay.

I think he's, if you're, if it appears to me like when the guys walk in and talk to him, he's off to the side. So I think he's in that studio that Howard's in. I got the impression that he was in the studio with those guys, too. But it's hard to tell. So Howard and Robin are the only people that aren't there. And Wolfie is not there. Well, Howard's very proud to bring this type of material to HBO. I want to say something to the audience of HBO.

I'm so proud to be on HBO now. And I saw there was a window of opportunity. John Oliver, Bill Maher, all these guys never talk about muff diving, eating out there wives in a pool. Natural juices. Natural juices. Nobody talks about this stuff. Sooking wet beard.

All of it. Yeah. The real world. I mean, geriatric sex, I'll say it one more time, is not great. And there was a show on these people called real sex that also was not great.

It was always the grossest people doing the grossest stuff. It's like, yeah, I'm not interested in these fat people putting out rubber suits at all. I don't care how they're not. It's not for me. Did you know that bong hit? Eric is still around?

Who fucking knew this guy was still calling in? Bong hit, Eric, go ahead. What's on your mind, Bong hit? Hey, hey now. Good morning, Howard. I just got a question, you know, all this sex talk. If there is such thing as heaven or hell or whatever, when I die, what three chicks would I want to fuck? Like, Barrett Fawcett, maybe, or, like, when I was a kid, I had a crush on.

I watched Batman on TV, and the Catwoman was hot, you know? Can you tell me which three chicks you would choose? Oh, my God. I mean, who the hell? knows at this point. So Bonghead Eric used to like rip Boggats, what he called him. Now he's just Bobo? Just a conversation starter?

That's a Bobo he's done. Call him with a question and tries to get Howard engaged in a conversation. Yeah. That's a dumbest fucking thing. I don't know there's a heaven or a hell, but which chicks would you fuck? Like, they have to be dead? You don't understand. And Howard's answer is, oh, chicks?

I couldn't say. He said Jean Fonda. I said, okay. Cool. How about what dudes you would fuck Howard? Yeah, right. That he would be into it. He'd probably have a whole list.

Only three? All right. So, for some reason, after that question from Bonghead Eric, who doesn't do bonkets anymore? He's like, Jeff the drunk, who doesn't drink anymore, you know? It's like these guys, I'll live their monikers. So because of that question, Howard goes off in this weird philosophical rant that's not like him. What is this that we're all involved in? We're in the middle of space.

whatever space is. And how did space get here? Like in other words, even space itself had to somehow get here. Right. And we're in the middle of a rock. We're on a rock and the rock is spinning. Yeah. And it's spinning around the sun, a star, in a perfect way to heat the planet and the moon is controlling the top.

All of this, like this perfection and balance. Yeah. could this, like, in other words, someone had to design. How could this genius be? Yeah, like, things don't just sort of get here. When you see, like, the new iPhone is foldable. Somebody invented that. It just doesn't appear.

How could something as complex as the universe that doesn't end? I'm starting to believe maybe we are in a simulation. Holy shit. I'm glad someone finally asked the question, you know? It's about time we get to the bottom of this thing. Like, what is existence? Is it real? Is there a god?

Howard. I guess when you get your 70s, you started thinking this way or something. You've said three different things from the creation of the universe to a simulation to the invention of an iPhone. Yeah, yeah.

The folding iPhone. All right. We have to talk about this because MLP gave me a heads up. He's like, wait until you hear the phony phone call on this episode. It's so bad.

now they do a little backgrounder Michael Rappaport who you know we love him on this show even though you're not charismatic Michael Rappaport's one of our favorites we reviewed his podcast many years ago and enjoyed it and he's always been a part of the Stern crew because he's part of the Fantasy Football League

not anymore Fantasy football is done Michael Rapport made him stink about it on social media I don't know if they're not allowed to do like Or maybe like all the guys who were in it were laid off for a lot of them. Yeah, that's probably a big part of it. But also, no fun is allowed to be had.

I mean, why would? That was a good bit when, you know, Michael Rappaport would call J.D. Harmeier or her bumabooie and call them out on the fucking voicemails and stuff. They'd play it. It's vicious. So anyway, here's the background between Michael Rappaport and Gary Delamate. I'll tell you, one thing hasn't changed. Mike Rappaport hates you, Gary. We made a phony phone call.

He's no friend. You write in your new book, you even devote a chapter to Baba Buhai. Yes. In the chapter on Gary in your new book. It's called Fafafa Fantasy. That's the name of the chapter. Fafa Fantasy. Yes.

You say, Gary is the most fun to goof on that you get a certain energy out of looking at his beaver-like teeth. And his, I mean, you really go to town on him, right? How many pages is Gary's chapter? Gary's chapter is about six pages. And they're short versus most chapters are three. Right. But I had to edit that fucker now. Okay.

So that's the back rounder. These guys don't like each other. Oh, Michael Rapport's got it in for Gary Delabate. And that's going to stop this horrible phony phone call. I can't believe that Michael Rapport went along with this. It's beneath him, in my opinion. It's so fake. How did this come about, Wolfie?

I guess we called Mike Rappaport and said Gary left his wallet in a restaurant. It was an experiment to see how he would react. We pretended like the restaurant called a number of the phone, and it was Michael that they had found Gary's phone to see how Michael would react. Yeah, Michael, Michael does not. I can firmly say Michael does not want anything to do with you. Here we go. Gary, what's up, boy? Hi, I'm sorry, sir.

I'm sorry for the misunderstanding, sir. I'm actually calling from his phone. I'm the manager at a restaurant. He left his phone here last night. He left his phone? Yes, he left his phone. Who's doing that voice? That's Will Murray.

That's his real voice. He sucks at this. I like Will. I need to say this. They're fucking friends. Like, he was in the fantasy football thing. Right. They've talked a million times.

That's so stupid. But also, his acting is atrocious. The Manter restaurant would be like, oh, hey, I'm gonna, how'm gonna, I'm just, I found you in the contact list. Do you know whose phone this is? Give me your phone. Let me open it up. Right.

You can't do that. Of course not. How do you call him? It's so fucking stupid You back that up a little bit It's understanding, sir I'm actually calling from his phone I'm the manager at

restaurant He left his phone here last night He left his phone Yes, he left his phone And we went through the contacts And the phone and your number came up That dumb fuck left his phone at the restaurant Did he pay his bill?

It's funny you say that because he had a bill That was just over $1,000 and he left a $50 tip Are you fucking serious? He paid a $1,000 bill with only a $50 tip? He put a $50 bill and his cell phone on the table, and that's what he left. So we're trying to figure out who this was. Well, first of all, if I were you, you're a better man than me. If I do a $1,000 tab and leave a $50 tip, I keep the fucking phone.

Yes. The server politely said to him, is there a mistake? There was only a $50 tip. And the gentleman said, do you know who I am? The gentleman. I want to be sure it's the right guy, though. Can you describe it? That doesn't make sense either.

No. So you left the phone in the 50, but the server had a chance to ask him why only 50 and didn't say, like, there's your phone, buddy? Yeah. None of this makes any sense. No. It's so stupid and convoluted. All right. So we get back to this because now he's giving him a chance.

Like, can you describe what this guy looks like as if that's what they would do? You would just be like, do you have another way and get in touch with him? Just let him know his phones at the restaurant. We'll just be hold it for him. You know, can you email him or something? It's like, it's so stupid. But okay. Yeah, no man.

You want to be sure. It's the right guy, though. Can you describe how he looked? I want to make sure we're talking about the same guy. Okay, he's about 5-9. He's hunched over. He's got big, thick fingers, hair everywhere. The teeth, you see the fucking teeth first.

I do recall the teeth. I saw the teeth. I get that. Did he have spittle on the side of his mouth? Maybe. He wouldn't stop talking. He was loud. He wouldn't shut the fuck up.

Yes. I'm trying to figure out the guy kept going. Do you know who I am? Do you know who I am? Like he's some big shot. Like what is that? What's that all about? He's not a big shot. He's a no good rotten lip, big tooth, ape. You should not know who he is. Does he always treat people like this? Oh, he's a miserable animal. But you can't, you can't take a personal. It's like, his head's like brick. Right. Is he famous or does he just think he's famous? I mean, this is so bad. Jeff Bossy says, That's not Will Murray. That's Steve Nowiki. I don't know if, uh, any thoughts on that? MLP? It could be. Okay.

They sound similar. It's so bizarre to be that there's so many writers. And when they finally do write something, this is what it is. It's so bad. It's such a convoluted way to be like, hey, make fun of Gary's appearance. Yeah. Could you write something for Michael Rappaport to read? So his riffing is better?

It's brutal. Oh, you're not famous. You're not famous. You know, I have a concept. Did you have a spittle on the side of his mouth? None of this would be in a real phone conversation ever. This is worse than PrEP Burger. It is.

I'd rather listen to War of the Rose. Right, War the Roses. I'm like, well, maybe this is real. Does he always treat people like this? Oh, he's a miserable animal. But you can't, you can't take a personal book. It's like, his head's like brick. Right.

Is he famous or does he just think he's famous? Oh, he's not famous. He's not famous. You know, I have a contact at page six. Should I call in the story and just embarrass the fucking shit out of this guy? Yes. Call page six. Call page six.

And just say, Fafooey showed up in my establishment. He was rude to the staff. He's got bad knees. He's got obviously the teeth. They're yellow. He's an outlier. He's an outcast. You're going to tell page six about his teeth?

Why does it matter if he's not famous? Great point. Did this article run a? Page six? What's he talking about? He gets nothing done at his own work. There's nothing he's going to do to help your business. He could get nothing done in his own fucking job.

He's a cheap fuck. I'm sorry that he treated you that way. I'm embarrassed to know him. Thank you, sir. You know, the least I can do, I'll give you a free meal, sir, because it's the least I can do. I appreciate this. No problem.

And you know what, when you give me a free meal, I'll leave a better tip than, then, then, then what you went through. Oh, thank you. All paid six. Wow. My friend. Any other thoughts on that? I mean, even if it is Newicki and not Wilmery, like he's also in the football league, like all those guys.

Yeah, they'll know each other. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's so dumb. You would never just, if you could open the phone. And there was a way to look through the contacts. Why would Rapaport be the one you find?

Yeah. You'd go with like an A day or something. Or the emergency contact or whatever. So fucking stupid. One more clip I have on here. You know, Howard did a lot with you at GPT as all. all boomers are. Boomer's fucking love Chad GPT.

They can't get enough of it. If you remember, we covered on this show, Howard let ChatGPT write a script for them that they all acted out as like a table read. He really wanted that to work. He did. If that went over with the audience. Could have laid off the staff suitor.

God, yeah. Yeah, all these writers, he's just like, let ChatGPT write a script. It wasn't funny or interesting. It was so stupid. So let's find out how Howard's using Chad GPT these days. I love Chad GPT.

I'll tell you that. Although I had a weird experience with chat GPT. I had to add up a bunch of numbers. And I'm like, you know, struggling because I ran out of toes. And I go to chat GPT, add up the following numbers, 10, 7, 5, like that kind of 13. Maybe he spieled out like 10 numbers. Added it. I've never heard AI used for adding. Like, calculators are on every device you have. You really need chat GPT for adding? That's, that's a new one on me. Filled out like 10 numbers. Added it up. I said, I don't know. I don't trust her. Right. She seems

I added it up myself and she was off by 10. I thought, I said, but I got, I mean, Chad GPT can't be wrong. I've got to be wrong. You start to question yourself. Yeah. So I went and I said to her, I'm doing the math here and you say 100 to,

I have 92 and she goes, oh my goodness, you're right. She goes, that's why you have to check your work. That's what she said to me. No, it's your work. Yeah. So this is why my fucking electric bill is doubled in the last three months because these fucking assholes are just talking to chat GPT like it's their best friend and the data centers are eating all the fucking environment alive and meanwhile Howard is outsmarting god because the pay the free tier is useless is that true yeah it's always fucking wrong you can't depend on it unless you're paying I use grok and I pay for it and uh I was on with Jerry Banfield on Wednesday

saying we were asking our various AI platforms. Speaking of shitheads that misuse AI. The average size of penises for Americans. Anyway, that's not the point. It was 5.2 inches, so I'm feeling about better about myself than I used to. So I was talking to Grock not too long ago. And I don't remember exactly what I was asking it, but it was something about centralized banks.

And Grock came back with like, that is a government institution. I go, well, the Federal Reserve is a part of the federal government. And they go, okay, you got me. I swear to God. I'm like, okay, you got me. You're right. I was like, what the fuck? Yeah.

I have to correct crock now. CHIPT is a bullshit artist. It's like pre-internet. Bullshit. It's so useless and undependable. It's so weird. I can't give me how we're using Chatschipita add numbers. I mean, you talk to Siri forever, too.

Yeah. Yeah. Lonely old people, man. It makes me fucking crazy, though, because there is super AI that people, they can barely contain. that the government has this AI that is going to destroy humanity. Oh, stop. No, it fucking wants to it.

I know. And all the game theory is just, well, we've got to get rid of humans. And we've all known this for years, and they keep developing it out, developing it out. But meanwhile, I can't get a fucking straight answer out of the free app. The sliding scale of AI is insane. Sorry. Well, this just took a turn. I'm not buying that AI is going to end humanity.

these fucking people are just like oh it's out of control we can't control I'm giving it five years for humanity I mean if I'm wrong then that would be funny I only look at countries that don't have air conditioning and paved roads and I'm like well they don't have AI over there so it's probably not going to affect

everyone yeah you want to move to Africa see you there all right can't get COVID in Africa too for some reason I'll be in the Philippines thank you hope visit bet MDM casino and check out the newest Exclusive. The price is right fortune pick. BetMDM and GameSense remind you to play responsibly.

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Opie did his F.U. Friday stream. You know, we didn't get to the Opie segment on Wednesday. I feel bad because Adam had a bunch of clips. I used some of them on Dappleverse Live. I apologize to him for it. But I always like covering FU Friday. Jerry Pant still down for fuck, see. Dude, that was awesome.

It was really fun. I mean into that. I know. You didn't get to fuck it up like Ashley Cummings. Jesus Christ, did you see that? I haven't seen that yet. No, I know that he was on her yoga stream, right? He was talking about it.

He was promoting it. Yeah. What happened? Well, save for the Jerry Bantfield. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We got Jerry stuff to talk about. Let's get it to Opie first. Opie put out his FU Friday and look at this thumbnail right here.

Ron Barry's Jim Norton open mic stuff. That's titillating, right? Now, I'll point out that all four of these videos are the same video. And yet two of them are opium filtered FU Friday. And then two of them are this Ron Bairfield. Jerry's Jim Norton shit. Andy, you said you listen to this? I listened to FU Friday.

That's what I'm talking about. They're all the same. Oh, that's a clip of that. Yeah, yeah. It's, uh, did you get to the end? Yeah. Okay, so you know what this is. We're going to get into all of that.

First, Ron is always eating food. He just, he needs attention. He needs to be distracting. So he's got an orange that he's peeling. And Opie makes a declaration as he watches him peel this orange. but if you get a fresh orange I don't think there's anything better better in life

I think it's better than a good solid pussy if you want to know the truth when you get a oh sorry when you get a good orange that's like comparing vaginas and oranges I've never had a solid pussy before is that a butthole what does hope be talking about

I mean if you're hungry Yeah, an orange is better than pussy, but that's the only time, I would imagine. I've got one. Says Jet GBT Pro is good. Free tier does suck, and Grock also sucks. Jerry was correct on this. All right. Yeah, it's just a way to trick you.

Like, it being wrong all the time is a way to trick you into buying it. Wow, conspiracy theory, Andy. You think it's adding numbers incorrectly on purpose? Yeah. I feel like that would be a reason why I wouldn't pay for. I'd be like, well, this thing's fucking sucked. I'm not buying the premium version of the stupid thing you can't. add numbers together.

I don't know. I can be wrong. Opie has a sty, as we know. Earlier in the week, he was like showing it off and like really digging into it and stuff. It was kind of gross. And so this is one of his FUs.

He's already two FUs in before these guys even can say anything. But listen, it's FU Friday. And I got another FU. I'm already two FUs in and you guys haven't even done anything yet. But I want to give it FU to myself, because yesterday.

I'm joining on that one. Go ahead. Yesterday, Rob, we don't care. You're peeling your orange and you were detention seeking fool. I didn't live stream yesterday because of a stye in my eye. And I'm embarrassed. I've got to tell the people out there, I'm embarrassed that I couldn't turn this on for a lousy 45 minutes yesterday because I had a stye in my eye.

I don't think I've been... All right. Props to Tony P for making fun of Opie right there. And props Opie for telling Ryan to fucking put the goddamn prop down. God damn carrot top over here. I think Opie was looking Chris Wilding's asshole. That's how he got this guy. I think so, yeah.

There's a lot of people looking Chris Wilding's asshole, it turns out. And he's got some loose stool or so I hear. So Opie says one of the funniest things that he has said in years in this clip, I was actually like, holy shit. I'm entertaining by something I hope we just said. This is wild. You're just reciting talking points that are stupid. They get celebrities that already look like shit and go, look what Trump did, Rosie O'Donnell.

Look what Trump did Ellen DeGeneres. Look what Trump did a Captain Griffin. They're all pigs. They're all people that never look good. I'm so sick of the copy and paste garbage. That's why I spend way less time online because it's all copy. and pays bullshit. Because the word gets out,

look what TDS does the celebrities. And then they show you that pile of shit Kathy Griffin. That's fucking funny. They show you that pile of shit, Kathy Griffin. It's not TDS. It's God did that to her. I thought that was actually really good. Where did that come from?

I mentioned this before. Every Friday's just turned into like shit that Ron finds on the internet that's interesting that week. It's not even up you Friday. So Ron found there's a Lenny Kravitz Barbie doll that's out. And Opie is turning into Aaron Imhold in this club. You're going to make a fucking Barbie doll of Lenny? Huh?

Well, you're going to make a Barbie doll of a, well, you could make a Barbie doll of David Dolly. Ron was on the gay internet again. Man. Dude, they just came out with a Lenny Kravitz Barbie doll. And you bought 10 of them. Ron was on the gay internet again. My internet's not showing me this.

Man, it's going to start. If you follow his path, it's going to start. The Lenny Kravitz Bobby Dolls coming out today. Ron, your algorithm is going to fuck me up. Stop bringing your gay internet to me, man. Opie said gay internet three times. He had that one loaded and ready to go. He's like, it's going to get a reaction one of these times.

Ron is such a punchable face. Oh, gosh. So, you don't usually watch the show. You just listen. Yes, but also, ever since he rebranded the podcast, it's showed up in my algorithm on Instagram. So all of a sudden, it's just all this opi crap and it's, it's infuriating. I'm sorry to hear that, man. I feel partially responsible for that.

I think he's probably your fault. I'm sorry about that. Ron looks like Danny DeVito and Batman returns when he was Oswald, the penguin? Yes. If he was just soaking wet, he would look like a grotesque supervillain. He's so, he's such an absurd person and just growing your hair out. He's that punchable? I'd say kickable.

He seems like a short little guy. He just a fucking wallop with a nice shin. I get like Kenny G vibes off him too. Yeah. He sucks so much. So Opie is retarded because he sees that there's a Lenny Kravitz Barbie doll as he's pulled up on his phone there to show all of us. And he doesn't understand how the world works.

All right. So what's up with the, Do we? I don't think he had anything to do with the Barbie doll, did he? What do you think they make it without his approval? No, of course. It's, oh, what do you think? Lenny Krabbner.

Oh, they made a, what do you talk about? They get a lot of fucking money. You think, you think Lemmy from Motorhead would do it? I'm on. Ryan kind of lost his shit there, but it is really dumb for me to be like, well, I mean, Lenny Kress probably doesn't even know about this thing, right? It's like, what? You're like a giant celebrity

Is it signing off on that And making a cut of it? He definitely sold his likeness rates Because yeah He's in the James Bond video game Is he? Yeah, Lenny Kravitz is a villain In the first light game

So is there a way to like rip his pants off And his dong hangs out? You ever see that video? Yeah, it's down, down, down, Left right, left right, down down Yeah Of course Andy knows it Lennie Kresden's all embarrassed by that

But I'd be like showing it to like friends of family like, oh, shit, I said that video. That's not what I meant to say, my bad. Oops. He was doing well with my point. There's a Whitney Houston Barbie doll. I was looking into this. I was like, that's kind of weird.

There's a bloody coverage Barbie doll. Whitney Houston does come up with a crack pipe. In a bathtub. In a bathtub. She was so pretty. Crack is whack, kids. Opie starts talking about the Bills game on Thursday night. Now, the Bills game on Thursday night, I know you guys watched it.

it. Oh, yeah. Started with the Canadian National Anthem, which is not normal for football games here in the United States, which all football games are played in the United, well, that's not sure whether Australia and they go, whatever, not the point. So they sing the Canadian National Anthem and Ron said something that's really dumb. The bills were trying to show everybody, look, we still love our Canadians. Oh, wait a line. Hold on. What's the city right beside Buffalo? Erie?

No, the city in Canada. Well, I mean, Toronto's the closest City. Okay, Toronto. Yes, okay. Dude, Toronto, like, they have a, the Buffalo bills have a massive fan base in Toronto. And just to let you know, for home Buffalo games,

they say 35% of the people at the game are Canadians. I don't know if it's that. Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong. Not even close to true. It's probably 15% are Canadian. The bills used to play a home game in Toronto every year,

and no one showed up with the bills jersey on. Every person in Toronto had Redskins jersey, or they were a Seahawks fan. It was giants. Like, it was all over the place. Yeah. I don't know if you know this. There's a rivalry between Buffalo or Toronto.

They actually don't like each other that much. So Roger's talking out of his ass. Doesn't know what the fuck he's talking about. I just wanted to point that out. because the reason why I'm being nitpicky on it because Ron's always the authority. He's always like, did you know that did you know the guy?

He thinks he fucking knows everything. Yeah, you talk from a place of authority and it sounds like you know what you're talking about. He's an idiot. Tony P., I got your back, buddy. Ron's an idiot. Opie catches himself calling something else gay. Remember the gay internet thing he said three times?

He realizes that like that's not all that cool. It's, it's you're paying now hundreds of dollars more. Yeah, like you want to go to the Bronx. But what if you don't live in the Bronx? Well, can I raise my hand and say something? Oh, look how you raise your hand. Can I raise my hand? Can I raise my hand?

I don't want people thinking I'm doing a different kind of race. You already. Raising my hand. All right, raising your hand. Go ahead, Tony. By the way, how gay is it to raise your hand? And I don't mean gay in that way. It is, but they made what fall in line.

When we were growing up, you could say how gay is this and that, and you weren't thinking about the act of someone in love with a nut. right oh p Jesus Christ man look at this shock jack oh by the way there's nothing's anything wrong with being gay I think it's awesome apparently having a sty on your eyes gay but it's so weird

Ron's internet is gay but raising your hand is gay did I say that I didn't mean that oops dude this is going to piss you off this is going to piss you off this is going to piss you off listen to what Opie says I'm a hardcore Bill's fan I think that's about it at this point I jumped on the Nick's band

wagon a few years ago because I saw that Dolan was finally going to give this thing. Huh? What do you mean a few years ago? No, no, no, no. No, no. Hey, Opie? Fuck you! You're not a hardcore Bills fan, you

motherfucker. Opie's a Jets fan and a fucking Bills fan, a Giants fan. He's not a fan of anything. He's a fair weather fan. Yeah, he doesn't follow sports. So it's just like, hey, the bills are pretty good this year. I'm a hardcore Bills fan. Like, no, you're not. You can root for them. I encourage everyone to move from.

They're a fun team to watch, but hardcore. Ridiculous. Okay, this is another thing that's actually pretty funny. They're talking about high prices and inflation. I'm sure you guys saw that the Fed raised interest rates by a quarter percentage.

So they're talking about the inflation and high prices. I'm not just, yes. Yes. And he's a corporation. He went in as a corporation. I got a fruit lady. out here. She's a piece of shit. Okay?

She charges $12 for a little green carton of strawberries. Are you out of your mind? So Opie's back in the Hamptons, by the way, I should mention. I got a fruity out here. She's a piece of shit. Things are going to be expensive with the Hamptons. Especially when you

deport all the free labor. That was thinking them. That will do it, too. She's a piece of shit. Good stuff. I don't think he was trying to be funny. that was good. They start talking about Macklemore. You guys probably haven't heard of the news

about the tour he was on with that year. Apparently, the Palestine stuff, Kraft was not a fan of it. The NFL owners, like, don't bring that shit there. Michael Rappaport had a problem with him.

Right. The NFL owners like, don't bring that shit in our stadium. So he's been removed from the tour. And Ron's got something to say to Macomore. And you're using Ed Sharon's platform to fucking raise your platform

by being anti-Semitic. Fuck you, dude, if I saw you in person. I don't say that. Don't say that, Ron. I don't want to get thrown off this thing. Jesus, you're passionate about it. I appreciate that. What do you hope he think he's going to say? Oh, fucking pink sock you?

I see you're going to turn into Carmic X or something. He's like, whoa, whoa, whoa. I don't want to be on rumble like those losers. It's pretty funny. So the question is, is why is Maclemore so anti-Semitic and Ron's got a good answer for that. You're a piece of shit, McElmore.

So why is everyone turning their backs on Shear and then? Because everyone's anti-Semitic. I wonder why. This fucking guy is not helping its cause. But even Ron is like, everyone's anti-Semitic, but I mean, yeah, I do have a problem with Netanyahu as well. Okay. Yeah, he did say that. Yes, that's true.

He's like, yeah, that's fucking it up for all of us. Yeah, you figured it out. Yep. So Opie brings up McElmore and Canada, this sets Rod off yet again. He's very passionate. I just know, I just know this. McElmore is a fucking piece of shit, you anti-semanic motherfucker. What did you think was going to happen, Opie?

You're a fan of Maclemore's music. That fucking asshole. All right, my bad, I'm sorry. Didn't mean to get you going again. I'll stop. Yeah, but white walls, though. That's a good one. Sure.

Thrift shop. Tony P does something that's very funny right here He decides to invite himself over to Opie's house Now Opie's in the Hamptons It's the weekend And Tony P's like I'd like to be in the Hamptons for the weekend And this is a good way to invite yourself over to a house

Ronnie go get some more candy Jesus Christ Okay, mommy Greg Opie whatever the fuck your name is Look at me Yeah Are you out there for the weekend? Yes

You want me to pick up some mushrooms And we just chew on them tonight And look at the fucking clouds not a bad idea nice not a bad idea it's not a bad idea I'm out here for a guy's weekend and before you guys get mad

it's literally my friends that I met when I was 18 we do this every year Chris Wilding is coming over in shower today is anyone buying that he doesn't want these guys coming over to his house he's like ah I'd love to I have so much company coming over already

well could I hang out with you guys we know each other from college Yeah, you wouldn't know what we're talking about. You wouldn't have a good time. You wouldn't have fun with us. You could drop the drugs off, though. We will take the mushrooms. There won't be any cars here.

People here when you get here, but they're coming. I promise. So we know that Ron has been wanting to get the invite to Opie's house for years now. Because last summer, it was always Matt, the owner of Geppard's, who was getting the invite. You've got to come out to the house. Ron, like, what about me, you know? So, Ron Deer's tone. invite himself over there and he gets so jealous.

Oh, you're inviting Tony over to the beach house finally? I said it wasn't a bad idea. Look at Tony Peas is like, I knew that would set him off. Yeah. Yeah. Ron is super jealous of Tony. I swear before they go live, Ron asks Tony how many buttons he has undone. Because Ron's shirt is unbuttoned down to the navel too.

It's super gross and weird, but I assume he's trying to keep up with Tony P. I mean, there's just so much sex appeal. on this broadcast. I can't keep it in my pants half the time. The conjunctivitis is so hot. Is Ron really this dumb? They're talking about Pink Floyd. I wish producer Chris

was here for this conversation. Oh my gosh. This is so stupid. Isn't it Pink Floyd? Isn't it Pink Floyd where if you play the music at a certain point of the movie Wizard of Oz? No.

Yes. That futuristic. No, it's not Wizard of. I thought it was Led Zeppelin. No. It's Pink Floyd. And it's that dystopian movie, that black and white movie. It was Wizard of Oz. Everyone knows.

You have to wait for the second war. No, it's not. It's not Wizard of Oz. It's the Wizard of Oz. No, it's not. It's that dystopian movie. What the fuck is he talking about? Is it the wall?

He doesn't even know what he's talking about, but isn't? I mean, the wall has Pink Floyd music in it, but you know, like, sink it up with the wall? Right. I don't. Opie is assuming that they're syncing it up with. They're trying to make two different points. No, because Ron did say if you started at a certain point in the movie, it sinks up. It's the Wizard of Us.

Yes. And remember that old kids in the Halskit? I just saw a great movie last night. I can't remember the name of it. It's like, it was a Citizen Kane? No, that's how that. It was Citizen Kane. You fucking just have to say no for some reason.

The bus that couldn't slow down. Yeah. All right. So, this sounds very exciting. All right, can we go? I'm sweating. Yeah, go ahead. You're allowed. It's your show. It's your show. You have the button. You can do whatever you want.

So right there. Show's over. Great. Call it a wrap. They said they had a lot of fun. Everything's good. Oh, but wait. Ron has some plugs. They can't wait to get out. I have my monthly residency. So it's tomorrow night, 8 p.m. at the Bohemian Beer Garden. and we have a serious fucking lineup, dude. Serious fucking lineup. These are, by far, the top working comics in New York City, and that's the truth.

You've seen them on HBO, Comedy Central, Netflix. Wait, this monthly residency has become one of the top shows in New York City. Wait, the top comedians in New York. You got Jim Norton. I said top comedians. Opie? I'm not joking. Jim Norton wouldn't make the cut.

What a fucking retard. Do you have one name? It's a good way to get me to show up. I went up the flyer. It wasn't on the Bohemian, what's it called? Beer Garden. It wasn't on their website, this comedy event that sells out and it's so amazing. But I found it on Ron's Instagram.

And so here's the stand of comedy. You have Wayne Carls, the second. I believe that's a typo. You have Ron Barba, Alana Johnson, Tony P. The great Tony P. Ron Berman,

Brian Stoops, Daniel Slaughter, Robert Puncher. I wish I could. Alyssa Katz. I've never heard of any of these fucking people. And the fact that he lists HBO Comedy Central and Netflix,

Comedy Central? Is that where you see comedians? The top New York. Eric City comedians. The Rob Stoops. I've never heard of any of these fucking people. The balls on this guy. The balls on this asshole to sit there and be like, oh, Jim Norton's not funny.

It's insane. And at least Tony pieces are going, come on, man, you can't say that. So it gets worse. Remember, I showed you that thumbnail that showed that Ron goes hard at Jim Norton. It wasn't until an hour and two minutes into the show. It's an hour and four minutes long. This finally happens. That was like the thumbnail.

He used to titillate people. to get him to watch it and Ron goes off. I'm sorry Jim Norton, but jokes about poo-poo and pee-p dude, that's fucking open-mic stuff, buddy. I don't do Chip at my

fucking shows. I don't do chip. I do fucking A-listers. I do headliners. I don't do jokes about poo-poo holes. Jesus Christ, grow up, man. Grow up! Ron thinks he's better than Jim Norton at stand-up comedy. He doesn't do comedy

of comedy shows. No. I've seen his bits. They're not funny. They don't even have punch lines. Nothing lands. His closer is peeling and orange. He opens with that too.

It's like when I sell Libbiscuit. They did break stuff at the beginning at the end. So, Rod is out of his fucking mind that he's saying that he's funnier than Jim Norton. And Jim Norton wouldn't be welcomed at one of his comedy shows. And then he goes on to do one of his greatest hits, talking about the Anthony and Jim show and bashing

that again. And by the way, because of my algorithm, because I keep bringing up his fucking name, the Jim and Anthony show keeps coming up. Yeah. I guess so I watched a bit of the clip. This is all I got from the show. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, I'm kidding. Oh, you know, is all right. Hey. Bro. There you go. I just did their latest episode. Wow. What a fucking prick. The balls on this asshole to be on Opie unfiltered. And that's like the Anthony and Jim show sucks. Anthony got wind of this and decided to DM our buddy Ron Berman. Here's Anthony on X says, here's what I DM this jerk off.

Let's see if he answers back. So you wrote, you're fucking disgusting. Jimmy and myself have made actual careers over the course of the years. What the fuck have you done? You're an aging hack who has nothing going for him. No one thinks you are talented. You have to know that. Shitting on the lines of Jim Norton, who has achieved more than his

career than you could ever imagine is pathetic. I hope you enjoy hitching yourself to Opie's wagon. You're meant for each other, talentless assholes. Good for Anthony for letting Rod know that's retarded. And it doesn't stop there because there's a little back and forth between Anthony and Opie on X. So Opie, of course, he made that thumbnail to get people to click on it and all that shit. So, you know, someone says, here we go again. You're fucking using Norton and Anthony to get views on your channel.

And Opie writes back, this was one minute of an hour show, you Anthony cuck. Of course, Anthony fans are dishonest like him. No, no, no. I showed you the thumbnail. He made sure people clicked out of it because it said, Ron bashes Jim Norton. So Anthony responds to that tweet by Opie and says, Piss off, Opie. You know fuck well that you need to talk about me.

and or Jimmy to get any views on your shit boring videos. Do a real show you hack. See if that gets people to watch. Stop using me and Jimmy for your views. Fucking pathetic. So I like that, uh, Anthony's like really just, I'm not dealing with this shit anymore.

We're not fucking playing around me. The fact that these two idiots are acting like the Anthony and Jim show. They're so threatened by it too. Because you got Tony P's wife who fucking loves it. Tony P's always like, yeah, my wife's up late. Well, listen to the Anthony and Jim show. and listening to Carly back from Atlantic City I mean it is good marketing

to bring up something that happens at the end of the stream so that you have to watch the whole thing just to get to that. The fact that Opie signs off on this horse shit like Opie knows better. Opie brags about, he's the one who brought Jim Norton onto the Opey and Anthony show.

He must know he's a good comedian. Why else would he have had him on the show? And the fact that Ron, I don't understand the delusion there. I've watched the clips he put out on Instagram. He's not funny. He's obnoxious.

I feel like Howard Sir talking to Stuttering Judd 25 years ago. Nothing he does is funny. And yet he thinks he's funnier than Jim Norton because he saw Jim Norton at the comedy seller do a bit that he didn't get. Everyone in the crowd's laughing except for Ron. And Ron takeaway is everyone here is an idiot. No, no, no. You're the idiot.

Remember Sherrod Small? Yeah. Sharad Small used to be one of the Get Along gang with Opie. The Hayday. The Kenley and... The Kenley, Carl Ruiz. And Sherat Small, those were like the main guys

when Opie went to afternoons on Sirius. And so, you'll notice that Opie does not want to weigh in on this conversation. And by the way, remember I brought up Sharad Small that fucking leech, who only leeches on to people that can help his career? I have personal information about Sir Rots Molles at the

at the comedy seller literally in the cellar. All right. Sir Rott Small has actually got banned from the comedy seller. All right. Well, I don't know.

Because he was, I don't know. Banging Broads in the boiler. I don't know. We don't know. Stop, stop, stop. All right. I'm going to go now.

Jesus Christ. Obie was ready to end the show. I got to go. Ron just starts fucking dropping bobs all over the place. I was like, all right, okay. Let's not burn every fucking bridge. Unbelievable.

Shrad Small literally made the decision like, Opie is bad for me, bad for my brand. I do not want to do a show with him anymore because when he started doing the podcast, after he was fired, eight months later, he starts up with the podcast,

and Vic Henley's right there, and Colorado Ruiz right there. And I think Sherrod showed up for like a couple episodes. And then was like, yeah, I don't want to be, I do not want to be a part of this. That's just Ron

wanting bad attention. He's hoping if he's, has enough off-based, like, stupid shit that Jim will at mention him on Twitter. They definitely want Jim Norton's attention, which Jim will never give them any attention. I guarantee he'll never bring up Ron Berman, Ron the waiter, or Opie's name. I've got one. And should have ended that with, leave me alone. You should have.

All right, let's get into the star of the show. I love to eat peanut butter. I love to eat honey. And I also love to eat beans. Beans. I look great. I feel great. Beans.

Jerry came on WTP on Wednesday. And people were stoked to talk to them. We got a ton of super chats and super tips. And so I said, Jerry, I'm going to throw you some money for your appearance. You've definitely earned it. And guess what I got? I got a personalized video back from, oh, shit, what did I just put it? And I just hit it on myself.

Damn it. So exciting. I got a personalized video back from my buddy, Jerry Banfield, who I'm texting friends with now. I was bragging to MLP when he's over my house watching the football game Thursday night. Like, hey, guess who I'm texting with one Jerry Banfield? And now I get this in my text messages. Hey, Carl, thanks a lot for the $250. I saw that come in off my website today.

I was like, fuck yeah, Carl. Let's go, Carl. Top tip, baby. So really appreciate it. Thanks a lot. Made my day, Carl. You sent crypto. No, I don't know how to send crypto.

You're welcome, Jerry. I'm glad you came on the show. You were fantastic. Tell me more about his appearance with Whitney Cummings, sister. Oh, well, it seemed like Jerry is floating around the YouTube channels and saying, oh, this looks like a show that's worth doing when he's going on with Pat, coming on WATP. I have big news. Jerry Badman will be on the creep off on Monday.

Vinny booked him for the creep on. He's actually going to bring a creep and play along with us. Yeah, I saw that seed get planted. So that's cool. That's awesome. But yeah, he's willing to go on any show right now, it seems like. And I think that he saw the last name Cummings, did it some like Googling, and saw that her channel had more subs than his. And she's arguably, you know, somebody that he would potentially date.

I think that's really why he did it. But they get on there. And all she wants to talk about is fucking yoga. It's like Chrissy Mayer only talking about. Jesus to Melanie Mac. It's like, you have fucking Jerry Banfield on your show, and all you're going to talk about is yoga. They have this death.

It's death from the beginning because they start doing deep breathing exercises. Yeah, that's not good. At the top of the show. It's the most boring fucking thing I've ever seen. That is what they have in common, though, right? That's why that she had them on there? Because they're both yogis. I guess, but I'm just saying there's a way to do it wrong.

And Ashley figured out how to do it wrong. Andy, you brought some clips. I know that you've been breaking down his book. Yeah, I was going to save this for the plugs. But Officer Banfield has become my... We're doing it Sunday tomorrow, we just got into Chapter 3. So I brought a couple of clips from the first two in the beginning of Chapter 3 because it's fucking great.

Jerry is... We've talked about the way that he writes his books where he probably just dictated into his iPhone. Sure. Had Chatchip-T turned it into a novel. But the audiobook... books. He's reading it, but he has no direction, or he has no qualms about just completely derailing the narrative and inserting whatever he's thinking about in the moment, which is a great thing about this. And shout out one pun. One pun is the person that put this on my radar.

And in clip one, this is just him introing the book, but it sets the tone for the whole thing. It's fantastic. It's been hard to begin narrating this book for you because I'm kind of scared. What? I'm kind of scared to get this vulnerable with you to share some of these ugly stories in my life. Varnable? Varnable. Is that the thing that's at the bottom of a ship?

Yeah. So he's already going full Shaggy and Scooby where there's going to be good, good, good, ghosts in the book. And he's doing his best to make it entertaining. I think not just for. us but for himself and clip two what's clip two called here a Jesus Jerry

G yeah right this is this drop is living on my drop board now okay you might judge me and be like oh god what an awful cop an awful person or you might judge the other way and be like wow I can't believe you're still alive you must be Jesus Christ it's a little off the top

there's a lot of Opie-esque performativeness in the audio book it's a little performative yeah when did he record this It's hard to say. He has like 20 audio books or something. It has to be last year that he recorded this, right? Didn't he write all his books last year?

Maybe he had some books before that, but I think it was all last year. I mean, I don't know where he finds the time. What else is he doing? Well, last year, before leading up to this now, like his current incarnation is one of the best incarnations. Agreed. But this stint as a corrections officer is interesting. Just throw me the names of the clips. Phenomily off script is next.

Oh, okay. So this is what I was talking about where he definitely will just start doing a stream of consciousness thing based on what he's reading. I noticed as a police officer the strange phenomenon. Phenomenon. Phenomenon. Are we sure he's not drinking again? Sounds like how I would record an audio book. But that's one of the better things about the book.

This is about his drinking days, his. He was single. So chapter three, which, well, is this clip four about the timeline? It is. I feel like Craigers helping out Blind Mike. The next clip is called Timeline. Because he's like, this is not going to be a linear narrative where I say I started in corrections in 2003 and I did it until, I always like 2006 to 2009. He's just going to tell you the most interesting things in a nonlinear way.

but chapter two Time doesn't exist I don't know if you saw him interviewed on my show Andy I know Time is just a round circle That anyway So chapter two is a whole

Explanation about how he's just going to talk about The most interesting thing Like a top 10 list And it's like okay this happened in 2009 But then we got a flashback to 2006 And I've never seen a chapter like this In a book ever

You've never read Pulp Fiction Fair enough Is that a book? Would you like to hear How all of these events fit together in the chronology of my life. Because going forward, I'm just going to tell whatever story needs to be told in whatever order comes up.

That's not the way to tell a story. No. The only reason why I wanted to include that. And he has a whole, all of chapter two is an explanation about how the book is not going to make any sense. It's starting with chapter three. Yeah. It's almost like he didn't expect anyone to read it or listen to the audio book.

It is wildly entertaining. though, I have to say. Yeah, Jerry's great. A couple more clips. Love Game is the next clip. Once we get to chapter three, this is when the book starts, and he's brought up the dispatcher many times. This is a smoke show that he managed to bed, and this chapter is an hour and 41 minutes long.

Wow. This chick has been fucking hot. Oh, dude, I didn't even include the parts where he just starts talking about how we whack off to her. so many times. It's fantastic, but... Wait, he was jerking after her while I was dating her after? Before he would date.

Or leading up to banging her. Well, that's exciting. You know, a girl that you're like pleasure yourself too, and then you're like, oh, now I do what her pussy looks like. That's neat. If you're into music, you listen to Lady Gaga Love Game. We'll go really good with this chapter. It goes like this. Let's have some fun.

This beat is sick. I want to take a ride on your disco stick. Don't think too much. Just bust that kick. I want to take a ride any discos take ha his taste of music sucks i know sucks so fucking bad you know the lyrics of lady gaga songs oh it's funny that you mentioned that why don't we just skip to the last one there because there's even more of this jerry's playlist for the chapters shit the sergeant who was on the shift with the officer that had all the drama with her and the lieutenant he was looking over my shoulder he's actually passed away since i wrote this book

He was looking over my shoulder. He saw that I was texting her, and he warned me. He said something very simple and nice. He said, you better be careful, bro. And I laughed. I laughed. I was listening to the Britney Spears if you seek Amy Ta song at the time. La La La La La La La La La La La.

La La La La La. La La La La. All the boys and all the girls. a begging if you see came in. I wasn't trying to hear what he was having to say. I'll give a pass that Lady Gaga. Brittany Spears

and a B-side? I don't even know what that song is. The fuck? Yeah. He's an interesting bird. Yep. But that captain or sergeant was trying to warn him off of this woman for a very specific reason in the last clip there.

She's crazy. What I noticed on his phone were a bunch of text messages from her. And I thought something along the lines of, what an idiot. Don't you know, you shouldn't be messing with her? She's obviously trouble. And soon enough, one of the lieutenants got fired for something involving her. I believe she was 19 years old at the time.

I believe there'd been some underage drinking or something. I believe it. All the officers had been out at a bar. I was not there. This is what I've heard. I believe there was some kind of cover up and eventually the lieutenant got fired over it or stepped down and quit his job. I really loved that lieutenant, too. It's a shame that happened.

God damn, pussy. Fuck everything off, won't it? That statutory rapist was my hero. Anyway, that's just the tip of the ice firing. And part two of chapter three will be on my channel, All Apologies, podcast, tomorrow at 7, as well as the skeptical robot channel so check that out sunday morning you're talking about sunday night sunday night yep skeptical robot or all apologies podcast yes check that out so jerry put out a couple bangers just these past two days one is called i sold the queen video for two thousand dollars now i'm

selling the shirt he has decided like i'm just going to start selling all my stuff everything got two thousand much for that video the the private video he sent to the the girl who got away his new business model is, what else for you guys buy from me? He had that 22 page letter he wrote to his in-laws when his wife was divorcing him and he's trying to, like, hey, isn't this cool? I'm going to sell this.

Like, no, I don't care. But he really thinks that he can keep this going. I'm Jerry Banfield, full-time YouTuber at September 17, 2026. This is my vlog and I'm really excited. I've set up a new way to make

money because I do do this. I do do this for money. And I want you all to have the chance to have something real and meaningful from what I do. This is crazy. He's sitting down in this recliner in the images behind him. And one shirt he's wearing, it says WATP shirt. And the other one he's wearing is a first date shirt. This is just all online stuff.

And it's like you're in your phone or you're on your TV. and you're like none of this is real it's just imaginary but i'm making it real so check this out on my website now so on my website now i've got it set up if you go to jerry banfield.com and you scroll down past the store section where i will i just did my first cameo somebody dropped 25 minutes for a dating video suck it to all the dating video haters somebody just dropped 25 minutes to 25 dollars for dating video on cameo i delivered it within like 12 hours or something And they gave a five-star review immediately thanking me saying it was awesome. So there.

And now if you scroll down below that, I'm going to put up every week or so. I'm going to put up auctions for things that are meaningful that you might enjoy having. Obviously, this is not for everybody. But these are two things you might enjoy having. Do you recognize this shirt? Does this shirt? Does this shirt I'm wearing look familiar? Well, that's because it's the same shirt.

You can buy this shirt off my back. I will sell you the shirt off my back. What a nice guy I am. And here's a picture of me in my chair with the YouTube plaque. This is a shirt. I'm grateful I had an awesome time on who are these podcasts last night. Fantastic interview with Carl, Adam, Vinny, and I'm sorry, I forgot whoever that last person is. Whoever.

Right. Doesn't matter. Chris, maybe, just random guess. I had an awesome time with them on who are these podcasts. This is the shirt I wore last night. This is a shirt I'm wearing now for today's vlog. This is a shirt I've worn on several of my other videos lately. So if you're like, damn, I love that shirt.

Where'd you get that? Well, you can buy the exact shirt now. I will wash it before I send it to you. And you'll find if you click this button, it will pop up and take you to eBay. And I listed it on my, I have a Jerry Banfield store that I've had forever, just forever. And this is, you know, I'm grateful. for the great feedback and I put, you know, I wore the shirt live on who are these podcasts,

WATP. Like that's, that's kind of the draw for it. Why? This is crazy. I understand like if you go to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, you know, you might see the catchers protection that Axel Rose wore the user illusion tour or something.

Like, oh, that's kind of cool. You need to wear that stage. The shirt he wore when he was on WATP? I mean, I don't want to nitpick. I watched that interview. Is that the shirt? I think it is. I feel like it was a different shirt, but maybe I'm just insane. I don't pay attention to what guys are wearing. Yeah.

Well, that's the other thing. This is only fans, girls shit. Like, you can buy my panties too. What are these panties? I'd wear these podcasts. Gross. Mike, any interest in buying this shirt? Wouldn't that be cool?

Be like, dude, that's pretty cool shirt. It's like, it's the one that Jerry Banfield wore on WATP. I'm sorry I said anything. There's a lot of empty beer cans we could probably sell today. Dude, this is the high noon that I drew. Drake. A WTP. You might like it. And if you is $34.56 if you want the shirt, and I put it up on an auction that's going to last for six days. So I'll let you all bid. Like I'm deaf. This shirt cost $100. But if only one person wants to bid $34 for it, I'll take it.

If two people decide they want to have it, though, things could get interesting. So I took some other pictures so you can see what it looks like oh look here's me from the back wearing the shirt do you want to zoom in look at that look at that you can see me from the back wearing this shirt the studio's over here to the right in this one and then here's me wearing the shirt on who are these podcasts last night with my jerry background van field video who is that he i forgot his name i forgot too i haven't seen him a little while he's been m i that's karl that's adam and this is viny then here's a video of me wearing it on my, you know, a recent ICP video that got thousands of views in the first day. So I, and I've worn it.

I don't understand this business bottle. He bought a shirt for a hundred bucks. He wants to sell for 35. Mm-hmm. No, 3456. 3456. 3456. Yeah, three, four, five, six.

Why? Why would you sell it at 34% of the cost to you? So you can buy more shirts. Dough. And I get my money from. He didn't pay for you. it was his credit card. It's fine. Yeah, that's true. You know how Jerry operates. You spend a lot and make a little. Yep. On several other videos, including this one. So I'm really excited today

is I'm going to test this out for monetization. I'm going to test this out and see, like, is this a way to monetize that you guys are interested in? I think this is cool because how many times do you watch somebody's content, but you could actually buy the shirt they're wearing? I think that's cool. And the next... The reason why this doesn't exist, Cherry, is because no one thinks this is cool. When did he put this up? This was Thursday.

Is there a bidding more for it? I will show you. I will show you in just a moment. But first, we got to see the other shirt that he's selling. He might be a genius. You might be. The first shirt I listed was this is the queen wearing shirt. I probably shouldn't sell this one

because maybe it has emotional significance to me, but I'm going to sell it. So this is the exact shirt I was wearing, and I don't know why, why did this like, I flop down in the chair real fast because I was taking a picture on a tripod with an automatic timer and I don't know why my like belly popped out right there,

but it did. But this shirt, I'm starting this one off at $23.45. This is a limited edition. Jerry Banfield's shirt, you know, I had it printed on Etsy. There'll never be another one like it. It's a beautiful, you know, this looks just beautiful in person with the, you know,

the red and the shirt. just a green t-shirt that has Jerry Banfield and sparkly letters on it. And why the sequence of numbers again? He likes that in order, two, three, four, five. The other one was three, four, five, six. You know what, it might be like some GG33 shit. Yeah, I mentioned something along those lines, too, when he was talking about his, uh, the rounding up the super chats and just the way that

he has to key in on that, uh, I think he does have some kind of numerology. Yeah, that would be a numerologist thing. But he's selling a sizzle. He's got some wacky ideas about stuff, so I wouldn't be surprised. You don't sell the steak. You sell the sizzle. It's like, this is a beautiful shirt. It's soft when you touch it.

You can only touch it if you buy it. The white outline and the green shirt. I can't wear this on screen because the green screen would take out the shirt. Why did you buy that shirt then? All right. You guys ready to see the big reveal here, how these are doing? This one up on Thursday on his eBay store. I checked it out right before we started the show today to see what's going on.

And here's the shirt that he was wearing on WTP. $7,069. And 60 cents. What? This can't be real, right? I clicked into the bids. And I don't know. It seems legit.

It seems like someone went from $158 to $5,000. This can't be real. Holy shit. There is a bidding war going on. I mean, is that? Well, I guess we'll find out from the name himself. I haven't used eBay in a really long time. Do people just fuck around on this thing and just put it in fake bids?

Yeah, you can pull your bid at the last minute, maybe. Maybe. Because then the other shirt's going for $10,100. I mean, I hope you. If this is real, like, fucking props to Jerry, I had no idea you could do this. Are you a sucker who hates their money? Yeah. You can buy this private shirt that I've owned for 14 years.

Stead fool. What are you doing? Pissing your money away. Wow. Incredible. I hope he actually clicks on that. Me deserves it. Me too, man. He's got kids.

He wants to leave them debt. I was watching this video. It might be this video. I was watching this video. It's just like, dude, if you die and you have money, you fucked up. It's like, kids, if you're saying that, he's like, I mean, whoever inherits your money is just going to fight over it anyway. Might as well just leave them debt.

Like, you can't take it with you. Okay. Father of the year. The fight over that too. This video is called, I'm $250,000, $367 in debt. Now you can apply to date me. He's got another new scheme that he's come up with.

You're about to experience Jerry Banfield's vlog for September 18th, 2012 26. Here with me. I shared a video on my Jerry Banfield Money Channel earlier today talking with my actual assets, debt, and net worths. He's changed ICP.

Now it's just money. Because he's done with ICP. He's also with. wearing the shirt he's trying to sell. He wears that shit. He's going to sell us. He's going to wear it as much as he got, I guess. And it was title, I'm having fun being $215,000 in debt.

I'll also talk about the eBay auctions, which I'm super grateful. Already got 22 bids on the shirt that I met the queen in. These are laid out on jerry banfield.com right now. And even Wilder, I just launched a new program where if you're a woman anywhere around the world and you're, want to have a Zoom date with me on Jerry Banfield dating. You can go to Jerry Banfield.com slash date and apply for a date

with me. This is... Who came up with that one? Gemini, chat GPT, Claude. It's brilliant, Jerry. You guys came up with that, right? Was that Vinny's idea? The dating show? Oh, you're right. You're right. Yeah. We did talk about that. And Jerry goes, I'm already doing that. Like, you fucker. He stole this from us. You're right. I want to cut. It's been a big day today for me. innovating and I'm going to tackle all these things and more in this little vlog. I also spent some time

today. I enjoyed watching. I'm going to do a live stream later with Ashley Cummings, which I'm really excited about. And I enjoyed watching another live stream on YouTube. Like to me, live streaming is just the best of the content. I'm trying to see. So I shout her name out exactly correctly. Her name is pretty anti-social and I enjoyed watching. I became a member of her channel. I set up supertip.g. Today and I'm going to continue. Oh, I forgot to mention this.

I don't know if he's talking about this right now, but Haley from pretty antisocial was on this little piggy yesterday. And Jerry gave me a $100 super tip during the show. Oh. So that's fucking cool. He is awful with money. It doesn't mean anything to him. So yeah, give it to me.

That's fine. I'll take it. But yeah, he did it through Super Tip. So I was like, is that the real Jerry Banfield, the mood? He was like, yeah, I'm checking it out. So thank you, Jerry. How much appreciate you? I'll send you a video.

Thank you. I didn't do more live. I was just going to say, I don't know why he's bothering with this eBay shit. The super tips and the super chats with the live chat behind him. This is something that you've discovered is working for you. I've never seen somebody interact with the chat. Everybody says, don't feed the trolls. Don't read the pores.

Yep. He's only doing that and killing it. And people are throwing money at him. And then he's like, whoa, let's see if we can monetize whatever, my fucking wardrobe. Just keep doing the chance streaming. MLB, do you want to explain this to Andy or should I explain it to Andy? I mean, he's got $17,000 so far for two shirts. Fuck, I mean, I would be shocked.

He's like, what an idiot this guy is? 10 grand for that. It's got to be fake. It's a lot of super chats, man. $17,000. That takes a little while to accumulate. It's also the same guy that Carl gave $2,500. to and you give him 100 right back.

We give you 100 first. You know what's funny about that? I was going to pay him 200 bucks. But on his tip page, it goes from 100 to 250. I like the numbers you're allowed to give him. And like, you got me. I'll give you $250. I guess I'm going to give him 100 twice.

If we had chat, GPT, to add up the numbers for me, fuck. It seems for you all, but I'm generally going to stick to like one live stream a day. I'm going live with Ashley Cummings later. and therefore, you know, I'm just going to film videos. Many of you said stick to filming videos because your message comes through clearly and you get a bit too excited and ADHD and distracted all over the place on live stream. So we'll make sure to do some lives, but the foundation has been videos.

So let's first talk about I'm Jerry Banfield money. Today I was thinking, I need to see exactly what my net worth is. I kind of had an idea, but I'm not sure. Like, I just want to see what the numbers look like. So this video went through and explained exactly the numbers, the assets, the debt, the net worth in detail. So if you'd like to hear the details, I'd encourage you to watch that. And then some of the people in Jerry Banfield.com slash chat were expressing concerns, saying, dude, you are going to go bankrupt. You need to rethink your life.

You need to get a job. This is crazy. You're delusional. You have a psychiatric condition. It stresses people out. There's voice spells I get from people are just like, I don't know how Jerry, He lives with himself being this much of debt. It's crazy.

But Jerry's a different guy. He's going to explain that to us. And I'm like, look, slow down. See, because what looks crazy to you is me being a genius. At least that's my point of view is that the way I'm thinking is not easily understood and looks crazy and looks risky. But from my point of view, this is just a calculation. This is just me running all the probabilities in my head and putting all these things together. And I'm like, this is going to make an incredible story.

I have, I'm having a great time having $215,000 in debt, including 90,000 of it or so, which I borrowed on credit cards all this year. And which, you know, at least 20,000 of that still parked in cash. And most of it was borrowed at anywhere from 3 to 5% interest rate for anywhere from a year to 18 months. How is that possible? Credit card debt that's 3 to 5%? It's unheard of, right? Yeah, especially because you're talking about taking cash advances out. Like, cash advances are they really ratchet up the interest rate.

I can't imagine that's true. He is having a great time, you know. People that stick to a budget are miserable. I'm just, yeah. He just spends money like it's fake. That money I don't have. Yeah. This point.

So I've parked a lot of this. I've just borrowed a bunch of it. And now I'd realize most people think that's insane. You're never going to get out of this. Wrong. Watch me. I've done this multiple times before.

And I always figure out a way out. And there's no downside. Like, let's say, I just totally go, no downside? Do you think maybe he does, like, he borrows all that money and then uses, like, a debt consolidation loan at a lower interest rate? Yeah.

So he's not doing, like, the 19 to 26%. Oh, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because he does say that he's always doing a balance transfer with a new credit card that gives you like an introductory 0% for on balance transfer or something like that. So he's constantly just like moving the money around. So yeah, maybe. Well, I mean, listen, if you want to play fast and loose, you can try this. Okay, nothing works out.

I'll just move in with somebody and live off them and keep doing videos and I'll have an interesting story. Okay, that's fucked up. I got to back this up. Because there's no downside. So what's his plan? Let's say, I just totally go broken. Nothing works out. I'll just move in with somebody and live off them.

This is where Jerry's like a sweet guy and endearing and charismatic. And I'm like, oh, I like, oh, I like, oh, you're just an asshole. I'm living with no responsibility whatsoever. I'll do the fuck I want. And if it doesn't work out, I'll be someone's burden. Yeah. I'll just declare it bankruptcy. Cool, man.

crush on my couch asshole and keep doing videos and I'll have an interesting story like that's worst case scenario because I have all kinds of people who love me friends family and all of you online I've got lots of lots of love like I have people that would probably let me live in their house

year round beautiful house beautiful neighborhoods they are snowbird so they have a house half the year in one place and half the year in another do that now what are you waiting for I could probably live in both of the empty houses for them. So, like, what's going to happen? Like, oh, no.

Wait, is he talking about my house? Fuck. All right, Jerry, you can hang out of there. It's fine. I ran out of money. I'll just go live with somebody else and do YouTube there. And I mean, they've got a lot of spare change. They could certainly be like, you know, here, we'll, we'll buy you.

You know, here's a thousand bucks to, like, buy yourself some food or something and some gas. Like, he's like wants to be a house sitter. he's like Cato Caelin. Yeah. It's like, what the fuck? I'll just live in the pool house back here. Like, oh yeah, cool, bad. Here's a thousand bucks.

I'll never see anything or hear anything. Do whatever you want to your ex-wife. That'd be no big deal for them. See, and this is important, like, this is, if you're thinking like, oh, my God, you're going to be homeless. Like, what I'm trying to communicate, a very, very important idea for money is that if you want to be wealthy, you need to have relationships. You need to have people you love and that love you.

And if you have people you love and that love you, you're always going to have somewhere to stay if things don't work out. So what a lot of us don't have the opportunity to do is take risks, but lots of times it's taking risks that allow us. A lot of us don't want to be a burden on our loved ones. I say there's no risk on his part. Yeah, it's crazy. It's like, I just scam people and con them and caring for me.

The real ICP are the friends we made. on the way. Yeah. To have those things come along because, you know, what, what people don't see looking at it and saying, Jerry, that's crazy, you know, what's going to happen when I start making $10,000, $30,000 a month from what I'm doing online? What happens when some of the crypto I'm holding goes up a bunch? You know, what happens when I make a bunch of money?

And then I have this video to point back to and I say, look at how I was thinking. Look at how I was thinking when I post it. this video. Look how I was having a great time and look how I'm paying this down. It'll be an incredible story. It will give me a channel with authority. It'll give me a channel with a hell of a story. I mean, his optimism's through the roof.

I got to give him that. He's a positive thinker for sure. He's definitely read the secret. And my dating life right now has a lot in common with my money. So if you look through my channels, I got a money channel, a tech channel. Jerry Banfield show vlogs. this is going on. I have music, which I'm grateful that, man, what was her name again? It keeps slipping. The pretty anti-social. She was listening to Tuesday Yoga Crush on her podcast, which was awesome. So my dating has been going a lot like my money. A lot of you look at my dating

and you're like, you need to stop dating. You need to just quit dating. It's not going well for you. You're wasting your money. You need to focus on money. And it's like, I'm turning my dating channel. my dating channel has brought in thousands and my dating and my vlogs on the Jerry Banfield show. These have brought in thousands and thousands of dollars. I'll give you an example. He's always been like this too. This is the first time I covered him where he's like, I'm making $10,000 a month with these videos I put out. And I'll have to do is pay $20,000 to advertise them.

It's like he's doing the same thing here. He's like, I'm spending all this money on dating. But I'm making a couple thousand back for spending way more than that. but he's a genius. Maybe I don't understand this. Here's a level of economics that I'm not figuring out here. His dating strategy is like, I just keep going down on a bunch of twos,

but all I got to do is get good at eating pussy and land of 10. Okay. Never run a 10, but I've had five twos. I'm used to like a P&L sheet. I don't think the jury even knows what that is or maybe he's just beyond that. It's very impressive the way he does business. Example of genius. I sold a video I sent to break up with a woman for $2,000.

That's genius. That's not a normal level of thinking. I mean, that was my idea. Not for nothing. I literally said, Jerry, I'll buy that video from you for $500. And then boner guy, 69, message him and said he'd sell for $2,000. And I'm Jerry saying all the credit for it. It's not a business model, though.

That's lighting a bottle. No one would have cared about that video if we weren't covering this. But whatever, I'm happy for it. I'm glad he's making the money. It's so stupid. That's me going so far in that, you know, I didn't, I didn't even set out to consciously do that. It just happened. But I had everything in place for it to happen.

I was pathetic enough. I was a loser. I was unda-datable, unfuckable, all the things I needed to be to sell that video for $2,000. And, you know, one extremely generous follower. That notification you just heard on my phone, that is somebody messaging me about buying the shirt I'm wearing off my back right now. That is somebody sending me a message about buying the shirt I'm wearing off my back right now on eBay. Some of these shirts and I have letters I can sell, I might start printing thousands of dollars a month on eBay. And what genius looks like is putting a whole bunch.

of unexpected things together and inviting people to help me because real talk i really appreciate your help when you're dropping super chats super thanks when you're bidding on ebay when you're buying stuff on jerry banfield.com i really appreciate your help we go to this next channel by the time you see this it will be out that it's it talks about why i did this but here at jerry banfield dot com slash date. There's now an application. Any woman anywhere in the world can now transparently see what I have to offer and what I'm looking for. And, you know, it's basically a dating profile at jerrybandfield.com slash date. And what I'm going to start doing is I'm going to start filming Zoom dates with women and then posting them to all my Jerry Banfield dating, which on X it'll just be my Jerry Banfield channel,

but everywhere else has a specific Jerry Banfield dating. So, all right, we got to get Lucy Tightbox on this and Jenny Jingles. We got to get all the devilverse gales to do this with Jerry. I'm going to start filming Zoom dates with women all over the world and posting them to Jerry Bayfield dating. That will be absolutely incredible content.

And I may even be able to start live streaming some of the day, like second and third dates. And I may be able to find a woman who knows where she'll be at in the world. but I may be able to find an amazing woman somewhere in the world that will then come meet up with me in person that I might have an amazing relationship with and that we can take on life together and who knows, maybe she'll have her own money

and she'll bail me out or maybe a meteor will fall out of the sky and be full of gold coins. Sure, Jerry, why not? He's amazing, isn't he? I want him to, like, a lady boy to, like, reach out to him. Oh, that'd be funny. Jerry's into it.

Latania Vegas, are you listening? Yeah, it's right. Transverse ladies on this. Her and I combined will take our content creation to the whole next level. I would like to see him with Ava. I'd like to see him on a Zoom date with Ava Riza. Make it happen.

And it'll be an incredible story to tell. And then I can snowball this Jerry Banfield dating channel into a Jerry Banfield matchmaking where once I don't need to date anymore, then I can start having other people on and acting like a matchmaker. And, you know, someday people might pay $1,000 to do an interview with me

and then have links to message them and date them. And maybe the shirt I'm wearing now. We'll sell for $10,000 on eBay. Is he manifesting all this shit? By the idiot? This own cook level shit. From the loud shirts to being a dating coach, She's learning a lot over there.

He is learning a lot. You see this, this, I'm glad that I think how I do, because I see how a lot of you in the world, when you try and let your genius kick in, everybody else just tells you you're crazy. Everybody else just tells you that you have psychiatric issues. I want to skip ahead.

This is interesting. What did I learn? What I learned is that regular dating for me is unsustainable. That regular dating for me is pointless. That the person I, I am is too niche. I'm too much of an anomaly. And while that works for me on YouTube, as I described in my Jerry Banfield for creators video, it called the most valuable YouTube training for small channels. Like I broke down exactly how I do what I do and the details of it.

Like if you're a small YouTuber, if you've got less than 10,000 subs, this is an essential video to watch to see the cutting edge of what I'm doing today. And how I was like start a YouTube channel and try to get Chulier Carl to notice. That's all it takes. Be absurd enough to get a big creator to make fun of you for years. Maybe the Drew Laid show will take an interest in it. I do it. And what I've learned is that regular dating is absolutely unsustainable for me.

That what helps me be successful on YouTube punishes me in regular real life dating. that what gets me views on YouTube shows up as red flags when a woman's dating me. What works for other guys doesn't work for me. But the opportunity, like if I hadn't tried so hard dating

and spent so much money dating and had so many stories about dating, I wouldn't have been able to monetize these channels and get, you know, into the, get noticed by the Dabbleverse community, have who are these podcasts, cover me, have my vlog start to take off, have a fully monetized channel off of all this,

which, you know, how much of that is going to play out and make money in the future is going to be a lot. He is an anomaly. I will say this. Normally when someone like embraces the dabble verse when they're a low cow, it kind of ends the whole thing.

It kind of ruins it. Not with Jerry. He's so fucking crazy that he's aware of all this. And yet his level of crazy still makes him interesting. Yep. It's awesome.

I love it. I wrote that having him on the show might ruin him. I don't think it did. I think it's only made it more fascinating. But beyond that, I wouldn't have learned how unsustainable regular dating is for me so quickly. But I now know there's no point in me trying to meet any more women at yoga studios

or trying to meet any more women in person and through referring from friends, through networking, through dating apps, through matchmaking. It's all a waste of my time. The main thing I've learned is that I am, too unusual for most women that aren't unusual to appreciate me. I'm too much of a genius for most average women to see anything but red flags or, you know, not, not superficially good enough for them. Yeah, I mean, my problem is my dick's too big.

That's why women never get off when I have sex with them. There's a glaring problem with your dating model. You can't get your dick sucked over the internet. It's like if you're only meeting women via. teams. You got to understand. In Jerry's mind, he's going to meet the woman who's just like, I have to move to St. Pete's.

We have to be together and impregnant me immediately. Let's get married. Let's start having children. I'd be like, all right. I'm not flying here, but as soon as you get here, I'll pick up with the airport. Like off of my, you know, 20 year old car or whatever it is. Somebody was just telling me today, like, you know, you can't expect these women that are on a high income matchmaking service.

to, you know, not judge you and not want to date you because of your car. I'm like, you're probably right. And that's why I need to find women on YouTube because, yes, most women on YouTube, 99% at least will have no interest in me. But YouTube is so big and there's so many niches and there's so much room for creative expression and I'm so effective at getting attention online that when you have 100,000 women discover me, you know, one way or another on one channel or another on all these different channels on all these different platforms like X and you know, TikTok Find somebody a date. I want to

turn YouTube into a dating app. I have original ideas like that. And I'm the kind of person who starts movements And I'm so excited about that. Starts a movement. Bowel movement. What is he talking about?

Is this MLK Jr? The fuck? And I just just want you to find your genius because it's seeing someone else in the middle of their genius that helps that's what helps me see myself. And it's also shutting out and intentionally arguing with and keeping any other perspectives away. It's like all those other perspectives are invalid. I don't believe them. I'm not interested in them. And I see where you're coming from. But no, thanks. That's not how I think. That's not how I operate. Because I know you're talking.

the usual. And to me, it's all about the story. Just imagine a year from now, I've went out on 100 different Zoom dates with different women. So this is where he breaks it down. He breaks down the numbers because you were saying, like, it's hard to get your dick wet when the chick lives in Alaska. So this is him figuring it out for us.

Maybe most of them even went pretty well. And then I maybe had 50, 40 second Zoom dates. Okay. And maybe 30, 20, 20. 10 third Zoom dates. And imagine Jerry Banfield dating has all those videos on it. And all those videos are real dates, which is great content. How many times, you know, especially just one person puts their real dates.

And imagine then, you know, I met a handful of the women in real life. And then one of the women, we have an outstanding partnership. You know, she's moved into my house. We're filming videos together. We're absolutely printing money together because we're collaborating. We're giving massive value. She's selling her club. is on eBay now too.

And we just are an amazing team. Which close? Which close are you talking about there, Jerry? How much is that bra going for? Tuts? He might be the first girl that he does a Zoom date with.

He marries. Oh, yeah. You know what I mean? Like, I don't want to like ever doubt Jerry. I don't think it works that well for us doubters. Mm-hmm. He's crushing it. Her name is Heather W.

That's fucking funny. other dumbies got a few bucks See she can help him out Maybe I'll meet a girl's got a tight pussy It pays off my debt Okay, good luck And you know What a story that is

My debt's just melting Like that's There's nothing more important You can do than hold your frame in reality And hold, get a vision of your life That excites you That you'll do anything for that vision Is this Owen Cook shit?

Frame yeah Yeah that's what I thought I heard that bull a word right there. It doesn't mean anything, but it's cool. And then go for it. And that's what I do. That to me is genius,

is to tap deep within your own desires, take inventory of your own skills and opportunities, ask people to help you, and then go for it. I'm sorry, could you help me with my penis? It's not ejaculating right now. Ma'am, where are you going?

I'm just asking you to help. Please. All right, that's enough nonsense from Jerry. I think we get the point. But good for him. He's got some new business models. He's got some new ideas. He's going to turn YouTube into a dating app.

It's very exciting. And I'm rooting for him. He'll be on the creep off on Monday. Vinnie and I will have Jerry on. We'll be doing the creepiest dating app user. No Jerry camper yourself. Yeah. Not cool.

Andy, you brought something that's a big deal. Oh, yeah. This is also one of my plugs. We do a show called Frank Stallone, who is this guy with Ryan Robalkin and Doug here. And this is Paizan Khan in Woodbridge, New Jersey. And Doug lives in New Jersey and went. And he is a co-host on the show. He got to meet Frank.

That's exciting. And we got his contact information. And we've said that if he comes on the show, we'll stop doing the show. because he's very much, you know, riding the coattails a sly and likes to try and say that he's earned everything that he's got. And he's a goofball in that way. They've had on Frank's illegitimate son, and we're kind of hoping that we can get them to reconcile. So this is a big deal for Ryan and Doug, and this is, we're going to talk about Doug's experience at Paizancon that Tony from Hector. the movies was also at.

Of course he was. So look forward to that. The new episode, pre-Pa-Zon Khan, is out today. I haven't gotten a note from Tony yelling at me for doing Biggest Problem yet. Surprised about that. What was waiting for? All right. Anything else you want to plug Andy?

So you've got the big show coming up Sunday evening where you're doing Jerry Banfield's book, Officer Banfield. Officer Banfield. Yeah, please. If you haven't subscribed to All Apologies, podcast on YouTube, that's going to be. tomorrow at 7. Frank Stallone is simulstreamed there. I do the show with Nelly, who I'm going to get to date Derry Banfield on Zoom. Oh, yeah, definitely get Nellie out there. He's going to cream his pants. Yeah. So we do that show Sunday mornings at 9. And then I do a poker stream, the poker solution with a lot of creators from the Dabelverse, all that on.

The Poker solution it's called? Yes. I thought it was Dabbling or all in on the Dabover? All in the Dabover. Yeah. Why is it the Poker's? solution now. Well, I thought that the, uh, John's gone. So I was like, the Dabbleverse is going to die. Maybe I'll change the name. So people that actually want to watch poker will maybe find the show in that way. Much like how Dabletip reprinted to, um, super shout.

Yeah. It's, it doesn't matter. It's all on, uh, all apologies podcast on YouTube. Just go subscribe there, uh, click, uh, like and you'll know everything I got coming up. Thank you. Yes. Yes. Please subscribe to, uh, Andy's channel.

and MLP will be outside your house in the bushes. So watch out for him. I wonder what's going on on the internet producer, Chris isn't here, but that doesn't mean he's not producing. He did produce an internet news segment for us with the great Jen from the Jingles Department. Internet News with Jen. From Patreon, sleep neuro pines.

Surely Kevin Brennan is the one eating poop in the dabblerverse. Look at those turdut-up chompers. Ew. Big Jack Macbastard shows concern. Hope Banfield isn't tainted by the slew of reprobates rolling around this neck of the woods. Extreme bio-arisol warns, Carl, be nicer to Jerry next time,

or I'm a flip my shit. Chris Atrell wonders, did Jerry do a Brian Callback when he said he had stage presence as a stand-up? Is Jerry funny? Oops, my mistake. He clearly wasn't watching the show up until his interview. From Facebook, Tim Triff asks,

what kind of poverty city doesn't have a Taco Bell? Ronnie Greer is also curious. What kind of podcaster, with cool seats in his Jeep, is complaining about the lack of a Taco Bell where he lives. Jamie Togel writes, great interview with Jerry. He really is the anti-John, and that he leans into the joke.

I'm quite intrigued by his vaccines don't cause illness stance that he felt so strongly about that he quit massage school. His belief system is an unplump depth awaiting exploration. From Reddit, compute K gripes. I kind of hate that Jerry was so amenable. He is nuts, but I wish he was a bit more oppositional. He can be swayed and influenced way too easily and will probably never have a true crash out.

Ububa ads, It was a great or at least entertaining interview, but you're right. He's a little too chill for how insane he is. Too much about being God and the reincarnation stuff is just wild. Also, it seems like they really convinced him to go gay. I hope we hear about it. Arcona shares. His honesty is disarming.

He flat out said his book stinks. His financial advice is worthless. And his dating coaching doesn't work. And I ended up liking him even more. Vixit 403 says, I find myself rooting for Jerry. When it comes to John, I root for the rake. Peach Power nails it. Crazy how much easier things are when you can take a joke.

Business, it predicts. John knows where he's at in life. He won't admit it, ever, but he's aware. Jerry 100% believes that he's doing great. They will both have to deal with the truth differently, but neither will be good. Artist's type points out, Jerry is at least sober dealing with his craziness.

S.J. is drunk most hours of the day and drowning in his probs. Inevitable age sums things up, creepy but genuine. And from YouTube, photographic mammary chimes in with, I, for one, am enjoying Kevin's current arc from esteemed comedian to guy in the wheelchair from Breaking Bad. Dennis Clark official reports KB calling Carl Gay is hilarious

Since all KB ever does is project What I really think he's telling us Is that he is in fact gay And Joe Servo plays out with Kevin has fully become Gargamel I was Gargamel I was Gargamel But yeah it is Kevin

You know that or Freddie Kruger He's got kind of a Freddy Krueger Look to him Get some voicemails that came in Gary in San Diego Brings us the rock and roll voicemail segment It's a bunch of crap

Swing in a mid. Rock and roll. This is news to me. Adam Bush did 9-11. Oh, thought it was the Saudis. Interesting. This guy is having an issue with his accountant.

Hey, Carl. Kenny from Canada here. Yeah, so I think I fucked up. I've got to go find a new accountant now. Apparently, they don't like it when you just stand there and yell at them. That's my net. That's my net. But that's my net.

Yeah. Don't call me back. That's my net. Can't get enough of that song. Such a banger. What's this one? Jerry Banfield interview criticism. Not everyone loved what we did on Wednesday.

Hey, Carl. Just watching the Jared Danfield fucking interview, and I got one criticism, Jackass. How the hell are you and Adam talking shit on Jerry saying he loses credibility because he's got a video out saying about how he sold all this disingenuous shit before? Carl, you're the fucking, like, main administration of a fucking marketing firm, you fagget?

The fuck did you do all day except for come up with gimmicks to make people buy shit they never fucking needed or wanted. Holy fuck, you disingenuous bag. Go fuck yourself. Call me back, Chris. Oh, you have a childlike understanding of marketing. They just lied to you to get to the buy stuff. Oh, okay. Cool.

Hello, is this the Saturday show? Is Chuck Randy there? Can I say hi? Andy Okay, talk to you later Hello That's Andy This is an interesting idea

One of the best episodes of all time Love Jared Benfield I would love a remix of the Trap remix of the Bean song I think that would be awesome Yeah, isn't Jerry a trap artist I don't even know what you would call that When he was black

I don't know Falls into a lot of traps. Yeah. Financially. That was so cute. That guy mentioned about his mom singing happy birthday. I didn't know if he knew this.

His mom does more than just sing happy birthday. That bitch does sing a sweet melody to my penis every week. I just didn't know if he knew that. Hi, Mom. Is that a euphemism for a blowjob? Sings a melody to your penis? I'd be like, I put Mr. microphone away.

You shove to sing to a vagina. Everything is a euphemism. and his info for a blow job to me. Deluxe coming in. Carl, apparently the Tim Pool bump is real. Gino Wisconsin has 20 live viewers right now on a Friday. He is doubling his audience. Deluxe out.

Deluxe, thank you for giving us the update on Gino Bisconti's live audience. We appreciate that. This is more feedback on the Jerry interview. You guys are right. Jerry Banfield. He's the first one to come on it. everybody else either they got excuses or they don't or they'll come on and they'll be like oh they did like a hit piece on me and this and that you couldn't do a hit piece on cherry bad deal he would agree with you that motherfucker you know what if he succeeds great because you know why because unlike that stuttering fucking piece of shit john instead of embracing it bringing out the inner fabbler in him that piece of fucking faggot shit decided to it to fight it and be negative.

That's nothing funny about that. Hey, Jerry, I don't care, man. You can't dig any funny. That's great, but you don't take it. So no matter what I say about your faggy ass, it's not going to matter because I hope you succeed, buddy. All right? This is for one fag to another.

All right. Bye. We're all rooting for him. I'd say that a lot of funny things have come out of John, not leaning into it. Oh, yeah. It's great. Do you imagine if you had a good sense to hear about that?

this, the devilmorse would never have happened. Yeah. All right, so, Jerry's debt. It's fucking brutal. Jerry Benfield's just fucking happy-go-lucky attitude about his debt

is infuriating to me. I'll just figure it out. If I had that much debt, I would be in my room every night with a pistol in my mouth desperately trying to think of reasons not to pull a trigger. I hate it.

I hate it. I know. I would be stressed out as well. Let's end on something a little lighter, shall we? Just real quick before you do. Who's that dude? That hammer? Oh, Caleb Hammer, yeah.

Jerry needs to go on Caleb. You're so right about that. Let me try to connect those two. Jerry and I are text buddies. Because you're right. He would be the perfect guest. Caleb would lose his fucking mind. And Jerry wouldn't give a shit.

Well, you don't know what the fuck you're talking about. It would be an ongoing show. You should just start their own show. Be awesome. Hey, I don't know if you guys ever talked about Steely Dan, but I'm on San Diego for my last day of vacation, picked up a coffee and just heard, Ricky don't lose that number. And I don't know, it sounds like a tune producer Chris might like. Anyways, I'm about to go smoke this going on the beach before I hop on a plane.

All right, see you guys. Steely Dan, you're in a MLP. I'm sitting in producer Chris's chair today, so no. You say no to Steely Dan. Trucker Randy? Hard nay. Two hard nays on Steely Dan. You're both wrong.

Let's get the fuck out of here. I got to go. Bye. I got to go. I got to go. I got to go. I got to go. Okay.

Bye. All right, everybody. You know, this was a great podcast. It was very revealing. Ah, Carl. I love you. Bye. Boom.

A plane has hit volley. Vinny Paulino, because he's so fat. Boom. Bye. A plane has hit, I rerew, I, Carly. Boom. His mom. Boom.

People thought Biden had loved jokes were offensive. Jesus Christ, those two. All right. Ready to roll the credits? Yep. All right, guys. Bye. Until next time.

Bye. Bye. This is it. It's over. Okay. Goodbye. Goodbye. Hey, goodbye.

Jesus, I gotta go. This is getting stupid. Bye, guys. Okay, bye. What is this garbage? How do they have a podcast? This is bullshit. This family is on the brink of Civil War.

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