Who Are These Podcasts? - Ep80 - The Koch Brothers Mystery Show

Episode Date: October 29, 2017

This week we review propaganda disguised as comedy. The production is fantastic. The content is garbage. Cros joins us to explain how the execution of their jokes miss every time.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Hello and welcome to another episode of Who Are These Podcasts We listen to podcasts so that you don't have to I'm your host, Kara, with with me today back once again is crows Good morning crows. Thanks for joining course, Ben. I'd like to remind our listeners You can visit us at whoarethese.com. We have a Facebook page. We're on Twitter at who are these pod If you like what you hear don't forget to give us a positive five-star review on iTunes If you want us to shit on a podcast that you've enjoyed recently We're always looking for suggestions

Today we'll be reviewing a podcast that you've enjoyed recently. We're always looking for suggestions. Today we'll be reviewing a podcast called The Coke Brothers Mystery Show. This was a listener suggestion from Andrew Murphy. Crojan, I have both listened to the show separately. We have not discussed it with each other beforehand. Let's get into it. Indeed.

This was a scripted show show about the Koch brothers. So right there, you probably know it's gonna be, I have a political bent to it. Yeah. The Koch brothers are the billionaires who do a lot of super PACs and funding for Republicans. And this was meant to be a comedy. And I just wanna ask you, did you laugh at this show at all?

Not really, there was one bit I kind of sort of enjoyed. Like, I enjoyed some of the premises, I thought the execution was just terrible across the board. I didn't hate this podcast. But I didn't enjoy listening to it in the slightest, if that makes any sense. I'll tell you this, I wanted to like it. Yeah. I really wanted to like it when I was listening to it for the first time. I'm going, okay, this sounds like the kind of thing that I think is funny. Yeah.

I don't realize that it's not. It's not at all. Yeah, I mean, it had it had political satire. It was sort of nonpartisan which I enjoy. You know what I mean? Like they were ripping on everybody, they ripped on the Koch brothers a lot, obviously, but then they also were ripping on the Democratic mayor of Chicago. And I think, you know, when you're firing at all targets, I think it's a lot better. But again, it was like, it was this weird dichotomy of, first of all, they were trying so fucking hard. And I'm sure we both got a lot of clips to show that. And then on the other hand, they just weren't trying hard enough because none of it was funny, you know? Let me give an example here. I call this clip a spoonful of sugar and this tries to be an educational

podcast and it's the typical daily show style of education. Yeah. But people who can't be bored with actual shows and give information. It has to be this, you know, the reason why I call it spoonful sugars because it has to be an f-bomb in there and then you're like, okay I'll listen to this. Deborah Quaszo is a managing partner on GSV advisors, a venture capital fund that invests largely in education-based technology for charter schools. As a board member, she's voted to give over $1.3 million in contracts

that have directly benefited GSV. Holy fucking shit! Ha ha ha! Yeah, so that's what we're talking about. That's the narrator of this mystery show. And it's just over the top with the voice. Oh my god, yeah. And I like over the top with the voice stuff.

I used to do a show with Kevin. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But this is just ridiculous. You got an example you want to play? You know, let's start right at the top. My clip number one is kind of the first thing you hear after the theme song. All right.

All right. Nice shot, Davy. Thanks, Chuck. Gee, why so glum, Chum? Sigh, it's just, well, Chuck, making a game-winning shot over our personal gimp and assisted television's Kevin Sorbo just isn't the same. Sorbo, Sorbo, Sorbo. He didn't mean it, television's Kevin Sorbo., let's talk about the acting there first of all.

I mean, I realized they're going for something like verbalizing the word sigh, but holy shit, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's tough to listen to. You know what I mean? Like, it's just so over the fucking top. And then I really don't get the Kevin Sorbo thing. I mean, it's, it's 1997 again. We're supposed to remember who get the Kevin Sorbo thing. I mean, it's 1997 again. We're supposed to remember who the fuck Kevin Sorbo is and he only speaks and...

I don't know. I don't know. I just didn't know. I just didn't know. I just didn't know. I just didn't know. I just didn't know. I just didn't know.

I just didn't know. I just didn't know. I just didn't know. I just didn't know. I just didn't know. I just didn't know. I just didn't know. I just didn't know. I just didn't know. I just didn't know. I just didn't know. very first season, they had this Scuzzle Butt character. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. And Scuzzle Butt had TV's Patrick Duffy as a leg. You know, that was the joke.

Yeah. And what I realized about this show is that there's so much ripping off of South Park. Yeah. That's why I wanted to like it, because I like South Park. Yeah. But they don't really pull it off.

Let me play an example of what I'm talking about. Beyond just the, it's television's Kevin Sorbo as if like that's a joke in and of itself just to say that Here's another example something's definitely fishy here. It could easily be a liberal trap set for us or a clue A clue that would turn this Koch brothers adventure into a full-blown Koch brothers mystery Okay That right there if you've ever seen the South Park episode where they have the hearty boys, let me play you a clip from South Park and tell me if this isn't completely ripped off.

Hmm. Who would benefit most from two buildings disappearing? Ooh. Oh, I just started getting a clue. Really? Yeah, I'm totally getting a clue. Oh. Oh, that's giving getting a clue really yeah, I'm totally getting a clue. Oh That's giving me a clue. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I've got a region clear right now. Mine's pointing to the left Oh Frank seriously, I have such a region clear right now. I think we better follow it. Okay, let's follow your region clue

All right, yeah, so you got the clue thing you got the way these guys are overacting and all that kind of stuff But then this takes it to the point where I'm like, okay, this is definitely because that South Park episode came out way before This podcast yeah, so here's an example of a total South Park ripoff and this also is an example what you were talking about where they verbalize things that are happening. Yeah Wow you've been handed everything just like us. E-rection, erection, erection, erection, erection, erection. Yeah, so that's exactly what we're talking about. And the style of comedy here is, in my opinion, this overly unfunny to the point that it's funny, like ham-handed, and I think that that can take place, South Park pulls that off, but you have to earn it first,

you have to prove that you're funny, and then you can be the, this is so ridiculous that it's funny. This is just ridiculous, they just skipped a step, and went right to, yeah, isn't this crazy and hilarious? Cause it's so not funny. It's like, no, it's just not funny. Yeah, yeah. The jokes are not funny. The acting is awful. The one thing, the production is actually really good.

Yes. Yeah, they just laugh about that. And there's a whole group of writers. Like it's really, it's, it's chocked full of like, sort of one liners and sort of wordplay. You know what I mean? Like for every minute, it's, it's chocked full of like sort of one-liners and sort of wordplay. You know what I mean? Like for every minute there's 45 seconds of quote, jokes unquote, but none of them are that good. None of them are land. Yeah. Right. Let's talk about how they try to mix kind of like like a, it's sort of a John Oliver

style or Daily Show style where they're trying to do comedy but makes in a fact. So here's number two here's our first solid gold fact that we learn. My scoring record at MIT is as good as gone. That's the sound of a Koch Brothers solid gold fact. Each time you hear it you'll know you heard an actual 100% true fact just like this. During his three years on the MIT basketball team David Koch averts 21 points per game, a school record that still stands today! True fact away! Alright, who the fuck cares?

You know what I'm saying? I mean, even if you like or dislike or are enraged by the Koch brothers, we care about their high school basketball records. Well, I know you don't and they actually have to shoehorn in a bunch of basketball jokes throughout this entire episode. Yeah. They never heard of Michael Jordan because he's a black guy. Hilarious. Yeah, that's that's exactly how that works. Yeah. But the true fact thing when I heard that I was like, oh, shit, okay Okay, this is gonna get preachy Because I know what you're saying where they're ripping on the Koch brothers the ripen on Ramamannual Yeah, but they definitely have an agenda sure they are definitely this is propaganda

To the ants degree and they have an agenda they're pushing through and they're throwing out aphboms to make it seem like it's just a fun time like This is what I'm talking about. You have these writers and their whole goal is to push this premise or this narrative that Roba Manuel is a piece of shit. Okay. Okay, I think that's what we learned from this, right? But this is how they work in jokes to make it entertaining

for us dummies who can't listen to just, you know, actual news and facts. Yeah. Rom the menu L. What the ROM the menu fuck? What does that even mean? That's a great question. That, actually, that's the probably the clip that sums up the show for me. Yeah.

Rom the menu L. What the ROM you man you fuck? That's not a joke. That's not a good wordplay. That's not funny. It's kind of nothing. It's nothing. And they break into that sing song eunusand thing like once a joke, that's not a good wordplay, that's not funny. It's kind of nothing. It's nothing.

And they break into that sing-song-eunison thing like once a minute, which is, like it could have been cute, but it was kind of weird. So let's talk about the plot of this episode. Number three is what starts the plot in motion. Carbo, Sorbo. Sorb Kago, what? No, Davy.

Chicago. Chicago! Chicago. Chiviria. Chirac. Miss Chagun. Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. Hot Towns Summer in the Chitty. No way.

It's too cold. And dangerous. And... Lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalal I know so I pulled that same clay though Well that I that I did get a chocolate right well because I have friends on on Facebook and relatives who are You know oh my god California oh my god liberals like it's this crazy boogie man Right right there like you know they look at this little 5% of the population They're like everybody who voted for Clinton thinks this exact same way and as a lazy whatever It's like a whole yeah, you know what I mean like it's it's just a Facebook is a way slad

It's it's not fun to be out there anymore. Oh of course, but it's it's the the book you man Thanks, so I I give him a inkling of credit I give him like two cents of credit on that one But the rest of it's just fucking garbage and this whole thing we're like we're gonna have a list of like, I don't know if you'd call those puns or all the nicknames. I don't even know what to call that because it's awful. It's filler. It's what you call that. Yeah. And so that starts off our adventure. Okay. Where our heroes, the co-brothers, then decide to go to Chicago. And if you'll play number four, we're gonna learn how they get there. To the co-brothers and Phoebe is tank. It's the co the Koch Brothers Amphibious Tank. It's the Koch Brothers Amphibious Tank.

It's an amphibious tank with the Koch Brothers. Okay. I don't even know what the fuck is going on at this point. No, that part is very confusing. And I should have mentioned that the person who wrote in, and let me read you the email that that he sent us because He says hey guys just started listening to the show about a month ago, and I like what I hear I do disagree on a few podcasts But to each his own yeah, I have a feeling he's gonna disagree on this one too

So he says it's a great show and I have a suggestion for you the Koch Brothers mystery show if you do one of the first podcasts I'm curious on what you guys will say about it I loved it and thought it was hilarious. I think you'll enjoy tearing into it and getting clips from it So he asks us to do one of the first there's a bunch of episodes of this show. Yeah, we did episode three Yes, so I just as instructed we did one of the early show They didn't want it to be the very first one, but I didn't want it to be, you know, too far down the line if it did quality does taper off or anything like that. Yeah. Maybe this amphibious and I don't even know how to pronounce this worthy amphibious vehicle thing was already introduced because it makes zero sense. Yeah, I mean, I thought

it was just an excuse to play that jingle again, you know what I mean? Like the unison sing sing song you think just keeps coming up over and over again. All right, no fucking reason. Let's talk about the jingle so The show starts off and that's like their theme song. Yeah, and then they sing it a bunch more times and I have this kind of compiled here It's the co-brothers. This is a show. It's the mystery show with the co-brothers It's the co-brothers and baby is tank. It's an mystery show, it's the mystery show with the co-brothers. It's the co-brothers and Phibias tank, it's an amphibious tank with the co-brothers. It's a co-brothers' praise for impact, it's a praise for impact with the- It's a co-brothers' mystery solved, it is a mystery song with the co-brothers.

Oh boy, the comedy rule of fours. Yeah. Yeah, everyone knows about that. I, you know what? When I put the compilation together though, I was a little bit impressed that there are different keys. Yeah. So I was just going to say it's like you would know that. I like, oh, I actually played that in different keys for some reason.

He even knows why. But did you notice that the levels were all over the place? I didn't fuck with that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a little bit weird. I mean, it's a good production, but it was a little bit weird how some of them were blasting. Well, yeah, and also our friend,

television is Kevin Soebo. He's only in one channel, and he's really quiet. Like, I had a plant, I didn't even hear it the first time, I backed up, and I'm like, oh, there's a guy talking in the background, but it's over in the left channel, and it's a quarter of the volume. I don't know what they're wearing with that hilarious Kevin Sorbo is such a weird guy It's that yeah, yeah good times and then Sorbo the narrator steps back in if you don't mind play number five Stay tuned as not all is what it seems in this Willy-Neely Topsy-turvy, silly,

Billy, wonky, donky, comey, yummy land! Then I'm lost. I mean, what are we doing? Do we? Did he say, comey, dummy land? He did.

Was, is that a joke? I don't know. I don't know what's going on in the right-wing Chicago, right? At some point, yeah, I don't, I don't know. There is a lot of this I just didn't get. Okay, do you want to sneak into Chicago, right? At some point, yeah, I don't know. There is a lot of this I just didn't get. Okay, do you want to keep talking about the plot?

I feel like we're teasing this. Or does it not matter? I don't think it fucking matters. Okay, fair. To be honest, I mean, like when I got to the end of it, I'm like, all right, well, I pulled a bunch of individual clips, but I don't have anything that like gives the overarching story. And I'm like, well, what the fuck is the overarching story?

It doesn't even matter. All right, it's they get to Chicago and it turns into Alice in Wonderland. Here's a clip that I have where they run into the first character and this is an Alice in Wonderland thing and it's very heavy-handed. You know exactly what their angle is gonna be when you hear this. Yeah. Yeah. I'm late, I'm late, I'm late, I'm late for a very important day! At the charter school and a reasonable distance from my house. Hi there! Where are you running off to? At the charter school and a reasonable distance from my house.

I can't speak, gotta run! Why such a rush? I'm late, of course, and school will have my right ring finger if I'm late. Well that and my route to school now runs through three rival gang territories so if I'm not fast enough I'm gonna get shot on my way to school. Why can't you just go to that school right there? Can't. It's closed. Got a ROM. I mean got a run. Got a run. I'm late. I'm late, I'm late, I'm late. So that was a little bit of a longer clip, but I left that all together because I wanted to show

that they're trying to do a comedy show, but really their goal is to put across a political agenda. Yeah. So it's like charter schools equals bad. They said it twice. It's an unreasonable distance away. Why can't we just have public schools that are next door? Yeah, okay. All right, here we go. And you know what, I'm not that I'm listening to this and

Disagreting with anything that's telling me I just don't want to be preached to in this fashion is I just get turned off by it so much. Yeah, well And this whole thing of Chicago is just rival gang territories and you get shot walking down the street is another of these fucking boogie man things like, as you know, I spent a lot of time in Chicago last couple years and surprisingly never got shot at. I mean, maybe I was just in a wrong place, but there are some pretty CD places in the South side of Chicago. Of course, I would definitely would not go. Of course, but there's a lot of

places in our town. I wouldn't go either. Of course. I definitely would not go. Of course, but there's a lot of places in our town. I wouldn't go either. That is already very true. I've never been to a city where every place was a nice place to hang out. Absolutely. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But, you know, this whole boogie man thing,

oh my god, you know, it's, it's, ha ha. Anyway, right before we get there, we take a commercial break. If you don't mind hitting number six, let's talk about this first commercial break. Let's do it. Stay tuned for a brief message from our sponsors Are you over the age of 50 suffered a public gaff and a richest dick?

Then you have a place here at the strong Thurmond home for wealthy whoopsy daisies Now that goes on for another minute I Mercer on it short yeah and like look I'm all about let's fucking rip on strong thermon I know the guys met that for a decade but you know he was a a proud racist he actually holds the record for the longest filibuster in the Senate because he was against civil rights and then he stayed in Congress for like four and a half five decades after that. We all pretend it's cool. He even switched parties.

He just, he just kept getting re-elected. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's crazy. Oh my god. And then we, so we go on this long, like song, this thing songy thing about how if you fuck up in public, you go to the strong Thurman House and playing Birdmanation every time you need it. Specifically for old white people.

Yeah. So if you're an old white businessman or an old white politician or an old white celebrity, it's like, okay, we get it. Old white people are assholes and the worst people that exist. All right. All right.

But not everyone has a lot of congressional history like I do. So they never explain who strong thumb in is or why it's important or who's going, you know what I mean? Like it's just, they throw it out there and you're just supposed to kind of go with it, I guess. I don't know.

I'm actually okay with I'm not explaining who's strong thermon is. The problem with the show is there's too much explaining going on. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. Here's another one that is just out of nowhere and this would be actually a decent premise, but at this point in the show, I'm so turned off by everything that's going on.

Yeah. That I just wasn't ready for it, but maybe out of that context, this would be interesting. I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. You know what I should probably set this up. There you go. This is, so they're doing commercials,

and this is taken for Liam Neeson has all his hymns. Okay, all right, there we go. Oh, funny stuff. I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. I don't know who I am. I don't know where I am. When one I do have, or a very particular set of pills.

Hmm. Yeah. Boy, oh boy. Hey, it's a decent Liam Neeson impression. Yeah. I give him that. It's all right. I got to say that was a familiar bit.

I did not dig around, but I swear. I heard something. Well, they did rip off South Park in Lasso that wouldn't yeah, shock me and I mean, you know It's it's I'm not saying they went install it from somewhere, but it didn't didn't strike me as all that original Yeah, right? If you don't mind. Let's wrap up the the commercial talk before we get back to what's good sounds good Now this was a this was when I thought I like the premise of it I thought the execution was awful if you don't mind hitting number 12 real quick. R&B Superstar and Game of Thrones author George R.A. Kelly.

So there's our setup and the number 13 is just a little nugget from the bed. Crucify 160 cans, slap a dragon on it, a million rates. So they go on a very extended, very poorly executed. It was almost like a flight of the Concordee kind of R&B slow jam. Yeah, but definitely not that good. And the premise of it was, this is R Kelly, but it's George R R Kelly. Right. And we start going on about how you can have, you know, violent castrations and crucifying kids in a million rapes and you slap a dragon castrations and crucifying kids

and a million rapes and you slap a dragon on it and it's all cool. And then it goes into this bed about this guy. Oh, come on, honey, we've been watching since season one. I've never seen a fucking minute of Game of Thrones and I'm proud of that. I know a lot of people that watch it. I don't know anyone that actually enjoys the show. I don't know anyone who understands it. No, exactly.

That's always the conversation is like, what happened last night? Did you follow that at all? It's like they introduce new characters every day. And I've heard a people that watch the show with their phone in their hands so they can bring up the Wikipedia. Okay, now who's that guy and what does he do and all this?

And I mean, I know the one thing the show is famous for is just violent sexual assault. There's just fucking rape left and right. And I don know about you but me late Sunday night curling up with the old lady on the couch it's like you know honey it's been a long week long weekend let's watch some violent sexual assault play out on the TV screen because who doesn't love that what the fuck I think that's the premise of this gag right exactly which is a good premise okay everybody's fucking going on about the show like it's some good thing and it's Everything I've heard it's fine

horrifying. I know what a lot that hard to watch TV and so I dig the premise of it But I mean you can probably tell just from the two seconds I clipped out of that. It's fucking it's three minutes I just grown it. Yeah, here's another little clip just from the George R. R. Kelly thing and you know Just singing awful for the sake of singing awful is not funny. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah what cruisers just yelling about yeah, so let's head back to the plot if you don't mind All right, number eight is where things really pick up and the boys by a ventricard, which is like the you know The card you use to get on the public transit in Chicago. Let's get on the red line here scan your ventra Dang I just got charged a two dollar and fifty cent card activation fee alongside my $2.25 fair.

Shucks, shucks, shoot, and shucks! But at least I got this gun along with it. Me too. My semi-automatic AR-15 defense rifle has an improved silencer for definitely non-premeditated self-defense. And my boom boom murder toy has a gun muffler, so it's library quiet. Thanks, cubic, the actual defense contractor who owns Ventra. Solid gold fact.

Oh, boy. Now, here's the thing. Yeah. Now, I don't know if you know this about Chicago, easy place in the world to get guns. Eh? They just got guns, fucking everywhere. You walk on the street.

They hate you with guns. They, you buy a Ventra card. It's 250. They can hand you a fucking gone with it. I'm pretty sure that Gunsery Legal at Chicago. You can't get it anywhere near Chicago. Exactly. But our premise is that they come free with a subway token.

So there you go. If you don't mind, hit number nine and we'll get into more color humor. I knew Chicago was a melting pot, but this a real fun don't. A poo still. A goop poop suit. A gooey pooey rat a gooey. A jumbo combo combo. More combo. Now you're saying 17 things that aren't funny doesn't make it funny. That seems to be what they're they're approached to comedy isn't it? Okay we don't we don't have a funny line but let's just do 12 lines that aren't funny. Yeah, well, it's what I was saying before,

but they're trying to really hard. Like, somebody sat down and wrote a bunch of shit they're trying for them to put in there. But they weren't trying hard enough, because it was not fucking funny at all. No one would find this funny or interesting. And I'm, well, except for the guy who wrote to us. Yeah, Andrew.

Yeah, the listener we just lost. Right, exactly. I just, it's surprising to me that something like this with this much production, it must take them a long time to put these together. Oh, I can't imagine. Nobody is raising their hand and going, okay, you want to take another shot at that one? That doesn't, I feel like we could do better. Yeah. Like we could approve that joke a little bit. That jokes of three, maybe we could get it to a four right a four to half guys Come on. So this is the dramatic portion and it also shows off the accent quality of our voice talent

This is number 10 the shootout you. It's our secret weapons guns I haven't been hit. Oh no, Derby, my brother. I feel so cold. So these are Saudi Arabian business people, conspiracy people, whatever, with thick Italian accents. Yeah, that doesn't sound like Middle Eastern at all. Yeah, it sounded like the guy for the Simpsons, you know. Yeah, exactly. We'd make it a piece. So, why you got to make it a fun? Yeah, oh my god. Yeah, it's pretty bad. There's another thing that's going on throughout this show.

And I mentioned the comedy rule of fours before. These guys do not understand the comedy rule of three. They do something and then they do it and then they do it and then they do it and then they do it. And it's just not a good way to go about it because if it doesn't land doing it many many times is not gonna make it better Yeah, I see that you have a clip named dire straits. I do I have one two I hopefully it's not shitting on yours too much But this is an ongoing thing That makes zero sounds she warned in and I have compiled every time they make a dire straits joke.

Yeah, I call this. This was the running gag. I call this a dire straits gag. It's our money for nothing and our chicks for free. That's the way you do it. We could still find ourselves in dire straits. That's the way you do it. The saltins of swing. That's the way to it. The saltins of Sway.

That's the way to it. They find themselves in dire straits. That's the way to it. They always put me in such dire straits. That's the way to it. We need him to install those microwave ovens and custom kitchen deliver a We've got to move those refrigerators. We've got to move those

Colette TV Count it! That is a lot of times to make a dire straits around. Holy shit Well I'll tell you what Carl, in 1986 that would have been some funny ass shit man. That's what I was thinking too, who's the audience for this? Dire straits is not a relevant band. Not a name you hear very often. And I love dire straits.

Likewise. And I didn't understand the premise behind that because people don't actually say we're in dire straits all that often. Correct. That's not really vernacular in this day and age of people use. So the fact that they had a shoe horn that in and then just play that one little riff over and over again from song.

Didn't add anything to it, didn't make the show funny. I didn't understand it at all. Yeah, it was just a weirdly, weirdly dated reference. I mean, that's it. Holy fucking shit. Yeah, thank you. Thanks for clipping that myself. That was my life. I figured out of the show, that's the one thing you can use. Yeah, it's thank you. That makes for clipping that eye stuff.

That was my eye stuff. I figure out of the show, that's the one thing you can use. Yeah, I agree with you out of that. So, what happens in this show is they discover that Rahm Emanuel is a corrupt politician. Shocking! I know! Who would have thunk it?

Who possibly could have imagined? And it's so bizarre to me I'm not sure what they're trying to accomplish with this this show is actually made in Chicago Yeah, so I don't know if all of their episodes are about Chicago politicians Yeah, there was a lot of kind of inside baseball You know what I mean like talking about the L train and the ventricard Yes, but in such a way that they didn't I don't know if everybody could pick it up with Contas clues or whatever like they started making a joke about oh, here's the L train. It's the Spanish L train. It's the LL

Yeah, if you don't know that it's The elevated train and they shorten it with the letter L or E out. I don't know Yeah, I was a little lost on that and I'm like, okay, so this is so this is a Spanish people. Okay So this is they people, okay. So they're upset because there's gonna be minorities on the trade, I was a little bit lost on that whole thing. And if the L-Train's part of your vernacular, if you're riding every day, okay,

but to somebody not from Chicago, I don't know that it made a whole lot of sense. I mean, I only got one other clip. This is actually from a future episode. If you know my hit number 14. You following? Not at all in the slightest, no. In that case, we're still doing a better job than the majority of our episodes. And then I'm with. Oh, wow. That's the one thing I'm with them on. Like, yeah, we don't make any fucking sense at all. The problem is that it doesn't make

any sense. It's trying to be like this over the top goofy cartoony type of thing Which I'm okay with except for when they shoehorn in all of the political agenda and You know when anytime that you're like this is a fact that you should know dummy And this is how this works and it's like I just tune out yeah because anytime you're giving somebody facts You're cherry picking which facts you wanna give them. Certainly. You can make any politician seem like an asshole by pointing out things that could be because, listen, I'm not a huge fan of politics in general.

Imagine that. These people are corrupt. And yes, we could easily pick apart anyone who's in office, not a problem. So this whole premise of the show that is very daily show, we're just gonna put some sugar on this and have you swallow it, is obnoxious. It's talking down to people. Yeah, so the the lifespan of the show, let's talk about that if you don't mind. So they did,

I don't know, 14, 15 episodes with this entire scripted Koch Brothers mystery and Fibius tank, this whole fucking thing. Okay. And then a couple months before the election, the 2016 election, they like switch formats. Oh. And I, I, I listened to one of these. I, I, I couldn't find anything to clip because it was fucking got off. Well, I mean, it was, it was bad. Okay.

Um, if you think this was ham handed political satire, this stuff, maybe that's why Andrew said to check out one of the early ones. Yeah. So they switch over to every week, we're going to talk about a different swing state coming up in the election and how the Koch brothers have nothing to fucking do with it. I mean, it, it, well, it's, what's funny to me is that there's this underlying feeling within politics that the more money you have, the better chance you have to get elected. Sure. Except it's not true at all. It doesn't correlate.

Because TV commercials do not equal people voting for you. For some reason you think, well, if there's a bunch of TV commercials, then that person's going to win, it's just not the case absolutely absolutely and so when they switch these formats and they start going on They have a thing called the alt-right review where they have this over the top female announcer who's calling everybody Cucks and betas and shit. Oh weird and it's just obnoxious like it's not good satire. It's not funny at all They end a week before the 2016 election. And the very last thing you hear is we're going to be back next year with a brand new season. Okay. And I can't imagine what happened in that writer's room, the night of the election because they never came

back. You know, and it's not like we're, we don't have much to make fun of in the political world anymore. I mean, if anything, it's gotten grosser and sicker, but yeah, I would love to know what happened. They had all their shit ready to go for a new season and then mysteriously like some weird time capsule. It just got buried and they never surfaced again. Well, it's funny because I'm crying. I've noticed that there's a lot of comedians who I used to like who've become unfunny. Oh goodness. Now the Trump has been elected. Oh, man Because they're just angry. And they've forgotten how to turn that anger into humor like they used to.

Yeah. And, you know, these guys weren't funny to begin with. Yeah. So this actually probably could have worked out well after the Trump election. Yeah. I wrote down this note over here. As I'm listening to the show,

I don't see these guys voice act and do these over the top on funny bits I'm picturing them cracking each other up. Yeah, I can't imagine what the outtake real would be like You know, they were the coke brothers. Ha ha ha Fimmy ass Oh, they're gonna love this. Oh my gosh. I can only imagine these assholes and the writer I didn't realize there were a bunch of writers the writer room holy shit these guys must think they're fucking Non-stop hilarity. Yeah, so that's interesting. I did not pursue any of the history beyond the one episode that I listened to and

It was garbage. Yeah, geez Carl. Do your research. What the hell? I know. What am I doing? I was trying to step up because normally you're like oh, yeah, didn't you read the reviews? I was out research. This is the first. I love it. The last time Kroes you were on our show, we did the Adam Kroa show. Oh, yes, good times and the subreddit picked up on it and we got a lot of people listening to the show from that and commenting and I have to tell you we've been picked up by three subreddits now. And that one completely agreed with us. And it was amazing because we should all over the Adam Crowell show,

the subreddits for his fans. You would think they'd be like, who are these fucking assholes? Yeah, yeah. It said the comments were overwhelming and like, someone should make Adam Crowell listen to the podcast and explain it itself. It was great. Yeah, so that was that was awesome. The last time we got picked up by a subreddit was when we did the DIC show. Oh, yeah, and I we had Vinnie Paulino in here and we reviewed the DIC show and this this show had a whole long history that we weren't really familiar with. Yeah. And they weren't thrilled with our review of that. We got shit out pretty hard by their sub-reddit.

So anyway, the reason why I bring this up is because everyone who listened to our review of that said, you have to go back and listen to the show where the Dixiel came out of. Oh. The biggest problem in the universe. And that's a show with Dick Masterson and Maddox and I've been going back to the Back catalog and listening to those shows. I enjoyed a lot. It's a good podcast There was a clip that I just heard the other day that I had a pull out and play for you specifically

Come play Crojan I are in the isotopes together we've been playing in bands together for a long time. And you're the person you told me probably 15 years ago. The thing that you hate most about playing music. Do you remember what that thing is? I think musicians. So here's a clip from Dick Masterson that I think you'll enjoy.

That's the Shawn and I used to play out a lot as a band. Yeah. And the worst part of it, it wasn't that no one would come see our shows. It wasn't that it makes no money. It wasn't lugging all the equipment around. It was talking to musicians. Because they're all horrible. Like this guy.

They stole my bet. They stole my bet. I was like holy shit, Kroch has been telling me that we're 15 years, it's fucking hilarious. Oh my goodness. And the reason why this came about is because this guy wrote this punk song and where he shits on Maddox.

Any, any goes, Guy, if you wanna play this at home, it's CG A minor app. That's the core progression. And this guy writes in and he's like, oh, technically those are power-court, so it's a C5, there are no major minors. He's like, see, this is, this is why we can't have nice things.

It's a fucking shit head's like this. I. He's like see this is this is why we can't have nice things with a fucking shit heads like this I'm amazed are the worst people. I'm amazed they found a musician that was able to type I mean I I Let a blue man for years and I used Craigslist to find people I would get fucking emails and all caps would no punctuation be play drums Seriously dude like third grade level shit from 50 year old guys, you know, yeah, well Yeah, we were talking about musicians and now you're talking about You know it's a sub class a sub genre. It's sub

All right, well, this has been I wouldn't say this has been a lot of fun I usually say that but today I'm just gonna say, um, God dammit, this podcast, not good. Yeah, but there's good news. And that is that we are at the point of the show that everybody loves everybody. What's that? That's right, it is time for next week's teaser. And this is the part of the show that everybody continues to write to me and tell me is their favorite segment. Um, Kroj, are you familiar with this part of the show?

You know, I'm usually, I usually fall asleep in a puddle of drool about a time he gets in this part of WATP. I'm sorry. That's okay. I'm sorry. That's okay. I'll tell you about it. So, this is the part of the show where we play a clip from the podcast that we'll be reviewing next week.

So, you listen to our show today and you want, oh my god, what are these guys talking about? The Koch Brothers L-Fucker Day? And talking about the Koch Brothers Mystery Show? No, we actually almost never do. Yeah, only this one time. It's a rare occasion. It's a very rare occasion,

because it's only been one time that we've ever talked about the Coke Brothers mystery show. We're not gonna do that next week. I'm not gonna bring it up. We're not gonna talk about it. We're gonna talk about a whole different podcast. Wow, what concept? So here's what we do though.

We give people a tease of what that podcast it will be reviewing is. Wow. You sure I'm ready for this? I don't know that anyone's ready for this. I mean this is gonna be this is gonna be mind blowing shit because you're gonna hear this you're gonna oh my god I want to hear this WATP episode right now. Yeah I can't yeah I can't believe I spent an hour listening to this bullshit but

next week unless you're in the future if you're in the future yeah go ahead you can just skip to the next episode but if you're not guess what you got to wait another week to hear this shit I know it's incredible. I'll be on pins and needles, Carl. All right. So, uh, here's a clip from the podcast. We'll review it next week. What's up, everybody? You're watching Dan Carlin's Hard Are History. Today's episode, the end word. today's episode the end word. Follow it. Part of our 37-part series on America's favorite word. I'm Dan Carlin.

Not to be confused with George Carlin, who died of a very similar, I don't know, anything about Dan Carlin. Other than he has a show called Heartcore History. What's that about? The history of people getting fucked on camera? Dick and pussy on camera. Yeah. Now just getting fucked. You see the dick. Yeah. And then Mark Twain was the first person to actually zoom in on the asshole. Just getting fucking railed out. All right. This is a podcast called Comtown. Oh my God. This was set in by Brandon, one of our listeners, one of us to review this show. We're gonna be listening to episode 75.

The voice of the left is the name of the episode. It's from October 25th, 2017. Let me read you the description of this specific episode. Oh my God, please do. Oh, fuck. the description of this specific episode. Oh my god, please do. This is what it sounds like. Retarded guy voice, duh, I'm the left low. I go poo poo and pee pee low. That's the description of the show.

That's the description of the show. And I wrote it down exactly the way that it's written on there. You can see that they spell what incorrectly. Their punctuation is all over the place. This is how they actually put it out there. People to find and listen to. So I totally expected this reaction from you.

You're like, whoa, what are we even doing? Why would we even listen to the show? It's just like teenagers saying naughty words and laughing at each other. You ready for this? This podcast has 456 five star reviews on iTunes. You gotta be fucking. 456 five star reviews. In comparison, WATP, this show that you just listened to,

24, 24 five star reviews. And I'm like six of those. And you're six of those, I created 17 accounts. We actually just got a five star review from AZ Mountain Man. I created 17 accounts. We actually just got a five-star review from AZ Mountain Man. And I appreciate that. Thanks for putting that through. But yeah, this is unbelievable to me

because I listened to the show and I'll check out anything that people suggest to us. Yeah. And I started to listen to this and I was like, oh, this is just garbage. But then when I saw that they have a bunch of people listening to it, I'm not sure why. We got to figure it out. We got a lot. We got a lot to figure out on this one. This is bizarre. Did you hear how much they were just cracking each other?

By the way, I didn't even mention this. That's how the show starts. Yeah. That was out of the gate exactly how the show starts. The guy had a couple of things he wanted to say. Oh, it's a Dan Carlin rated R, and right from there, he lost these. Like, it's not George Carlin. Yeah, it's Dan Carlin. And he's got the guy behind him repeating everything. Yeah, I was like, I'm like, holy shit. It's an hour long show, and out of the gate, you don't know what you're gonna say.

E. So, I don't know, maybe it gets better. Yeah, good luck with that one, holy shit. You know, I used to do a show with Kevin, and we'd listen to the teaser, and we'd be like, I don't know maybe it gets better. Yeah, good luck with that one holy You know, I used to do a show with Kevin and we'd listen to the teaser and we'd be like fuck we got listen to that now I always have a different guest toast every week so that everybody's just like oh good. Yeah, you fucking Yeah, right shit. I'm not listening to that guy. It's like fuck fuck me man. I want I want you know some solidarity in the ass and be like All right, well, we'll do it. No, you're just like I want nothing to do with this. Yeah, you go for it I'd rather listen to you listen to it, you know what I mean?

Well, we listen so that you don't have to eat exactly right So please join us again next week because it might be the episode where we find out once and for all Who are these podcasts? sleep, every pony. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a good guy. I'm not a the guy. I don't know. I don't get it. Makes no sense.

What is going on here? Yeah!