Who Are These Podcasts? - Ep83 - what's ur problem

Episode Date: November 19, 2017

Remember that show Loveline? People would call in with their problems in order to get expert advice from Dr. Drew Pinsky. Comedian Adam Carolla was quick with hilarious quips, making the advice-style show entertaining. This week we listened to a show that misses the mark on this format in every possible way. The podcast is called "what's ur problem" and it is almost perfectly terrible.  We're joined by WATP first-timer Todd Gursslin, cohost of Hate This Podcast. Todd learns what it's like to be forced to listen to a terrible podcast, and he's angry about it. You can never unhear what's ur problem. Sorry dude. Check out Todd's show: http://hatethispodcast.podomatic.com/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's show time. There's really just a handful that don't suck That's where we come in My cats reviews like Oh, no, welcome, and they're right Todd Gerslin W-A-T-P W-A-T-P W-A-T-P Who are these partners?

W-A-T-P Who likes these partners? Not W-A-G-N Who likes these partners? That one's beyond me Who are these partners? W-A-T-P. Yeah.

W-A-T-P. Hello and welcome to another episode of Who Are These Podcasts. We listen to podcasts so that you don't have to. I'm your host, Carl, with me today, making his W-A-T-P debut co-host of the HATE this podcast podcast. It's Todd Gerstle. What's up, Karl? Thanks for joining us, buddy.

Oh, no problem, dude. I'd like to remind our listeners that you can visit us at whoarethese.com, our Facebook page, or on Twitter at whoarethesepod. If you like what you hear, don't forget to give us a positive five-star review on iTunes. Today we'll be reviewing a podcast called What's Your Problem? This is a listener suggestion from Daniel.

Todd and I have both listened to the show separately. We have not discussed it with each other beforehand. Let's get into it. Todd, what's your problem is a podcast that has two hosts, Derek and Mary Kobayashi. Right, right, right. And we listened to episode number eight that had a special guest host who was a clinical psychologist. Sood name, right? Is that just she had a what? Dr. Pepsi. Dr. Pepsi is not her real name. She didn't want to be known who it actually was. Yeah. Okay. So this show I cannot wait to get into this to because I'm telling you why I'm so aggravated. I can tell most people react when They come out and do ATP. They're like, I can't be honest with this whole podcast.

Yeah, I mean, this one's rough. I mean, this dude, the whole premise is that people write in their problems and then these guys, I think, try to be serious with them or then sometimes try to joke about it and I'm not really sure why or when. I mean, there's so much that I could get into that I want to talk about that whole premise with these two dudes. Alright, so this show, this is the way I describe it.

It's just like Love Line with Adam Kroel and Dr. Drew. If Love Live didn't have a funny comedian or an intelligent doctor on it. Yeah, that's it. Yeah. You know, it's like, here are these people with problems writing in, leaving voicemails and they just have nothing fun or interesting to say's it. Yeah. Yeah. No, it's like here are these people with problems writing in leaving voice males and They just have nothing fun or interesting to say. No, the problem is is even the feedback is like They had Dr. Pepsi on there who supposedly is a real clinical psychologist Supposedly and even her feedback sucked. It's the worst. It was it was absolutely

I'm like dude. I could get this feedback from my little sister like it's very let's get into it I want to I want to start I was a clip I always like to start with a clip that I think sums up the show. Okay, so here's the clip that sums up the show Yeah, yeah, yeah, if you want some help I could be hard on you too. No, you're fine. You're good. That's it You don't have a face that's a dirxan wait I was gonna say it's not a sexual joke that you make no no like so yes it was Yes, Mary. No it wasn't Like so. Yes, it was. Dabbed. Yes. Mary, no, it wasn't. Fuck you. Did I get it wrong?

Um, okay. So the podcast is over. I noticed some tension here. Sure. I am. Okay. So, Mary, I was going to say that like we're. So the super annoying. I'm feeling literally physically ill again. It's Dr. Pazzi. And I want it so the two co-hosts, Derek and Mary have this, you know, this fun banter with each other that's, you know, supposed to be like sexual tension, but it's not,

it's not fake. It's not playful. It's not even playful. It's not fun. Actually, I have a clip on here that I call co-host banter. This is what it sounds like when these two try to be fun with each other. That's how I enter everything. It's like, I'm failing until I'm dead.

But if I'm still doing it when I'm dead, that's a success. I agree. You are failing at everything. Yeah. Now that you brought it up. Um. Boo! Be more funny.

There's just a lot of attempts at jokes that do not land. The whole thing is a joke that does not land. Right. He really tries to be funny in ironic and like, you know. Derek thinks he's very funny. He does think it, yeah. He thinks he's the comic relief of the show. And there is just no play.

The banter back and forth is horrible. Here is a clip that I call Derek is the comic relief to illustrate this. Let's go Derek, bring it. It's like the highway and sometimes you gotta drop somebody off at the the Amaco station and then just pick up whatever you see next. The next drifter person with their thumb out, a tire, a boot. You bring that on you with your journey

there's been no laughs what do you mean I'm not what the fuck is that what he was trying for a joke and he realized it was going nowhere so we just kept like trying harder and harder like and he picked up a tire and then that's on your journey and it was going nowhere he should have just bailed that's the problem he has the things he says. He's trying too hard. Yes. Trying too hard.

To try way too hard. For sure. And I mean, there's not, when I listen to somebody with a check on it, sometimes usually the check annoys me. Yeah. No, he totally is the one that annoys me. I actually don't mind Mary. In the media there.

And plus, she's all right to look at it. Yeah, she's pretty cute. She plays in a band. She's a musician. And she's a lot to watch. Did you know she was Asian. She's Japanese. Yes. Yeah, I mean by her voice Like I don't know why I was expecting like oh hello like like that, but she was Asian sounding at all. No definitely not she's she was born and raised in America but Let's talk about this Dr. Puffs

I'm just gonna play a quick clip here that introduces her and sets up why she's on the show. We have a guest this time and our guest is a, how would you describe yourself? I am a psychologist. Your psychologist and you took some kind of test recently and you passed your test to be a official psychologist. Clinical psychologists. A clinical psychologist. So I think you have your master's degree, right, Todd? I'm not sure. I would think you'd have to, though. No, I think you have your degree.

Oh, I do have my master's degree. I do. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She has to have a doctorate. You have to, is it? She has to have a doctorate degree. I agree. A clinical psychologist. I mean, doctor Pepsi, right?

That's why she's doctor- Okay, she's literally a doctor. This woman is fucking dumb. She is. It shows me that the education system is failing. Yeah, I mean, I got a master's like he said. Right. So obviously it's not that impressive.

Here is an example of this brilliant psychologist. I don't know, I think like we have these scripts of like, what a relationship that like succeeds is supposed to look like, and I don't know, I feel like. She can't even get a thought out coherently. She uses so many crutch words, these verbal ticks that she has. I find this, and if you listen to this show before, you know, I talk about this all the time.

I try not to harp out at every show. What is it? It bugs the fuck out of me when people use the word like Okay way too much, but even words like I mean and I think I feel like I don't know Right, right, right, right words. It don't add anything to the sentence. Yeah, I think it's a nervous thing too It's a nervous thing and she sounds young is how well I mean, but she's got a bitter 20s there right? She's a doctor right all right, so I do have but she you know what she feeds in doctor perhaps is a weirdo She feeds into Derek's like she sucks her right in not like oh, you're such a bad boy, Derek I know it's a false for a stupid, is what you're saying. Yes.

It's really annoying. But before we go down that road, I want to just play, I put together a compilation of Dr. Pepsi being super annoying. These are all those verbal ticks that I was just talking about. And before I play this, I just want to let you know that I had to give up on putting this together halfway through the show, because it's just too much. And even these that I've compiled is maybe 30% of the times that she's used

these verbal ticks just within the first half of the show, listen to this. I think like, I don't know, I feel like, and like, for like, I think like, but I think like, like, I mean, but yeah, it's like, I'm like, I mean, like, so they're in Italy, like, like, I don't know. It's like, like, like, like, and like, like, I don't know. It's like, like, like, like, like, like, and like,

yeah, I mean, gosh, I don't know. I like, sort of just feel like, like, but I guess, like, so, like, you kind of like, like, I mean, and like, it's like, like, or like, you know, whatever, like, I don't know, like, and like, like, that's like, and like, when you're saying that, I'm like,. And that's like, when you're saying that, I'm like still like, yeah, you know?

I don't know. I feel like, I don't know. I don't want to, that's like, I feel like that's something like, I think of like, it's like, I mean, there's like, I mean, yeah, it's like, I think some of these questions it was like, there's like, like, I mean, yeah, it's like, I think some of these questions it was like.

It's an raging. It's an raging because she's adult and she's brought on to be the expert on the subject matter. You're a psychologist, hear people with problems, you can help out. And this is what this dummy comes up with. Here's an example of this psychologist offering her expert advice. People come in and out of your life and like maybe that person just isn't meant to be

along this stretch of journey with you. Like, even if they're partner, like they still love them, maybe they're just not supposed to be with them on the next stretch of their journey and like their gut is telling them that. Alright, that's not a horoscope. That's not a fortune cookie. It's not Teen Beat magazine. That's a psychologist talking like that.

That's some fucking bizarre shit. And then this is a clip that just plays right into this. A little bit later on in the show. I was gonna say I follow this like horoscope guy named Rob Breznie. Oh my gosh She's so amazing. He says that this newsletter that's like This fucking dummy is way into the zodiacs horoscopes It's all nonsense shit. You're a well-educated person. You're a doctor

And this is what you believe in this way you're wasting your fucking energy out Give her medical opinion on anything. She says in the beginning, I think that she gave a disclaimer, but she didn't say she wouldn't give. No, she said she didn't speak generally. No, yeah. No, but she didn't even speak medically at all.

No, right. There was nothing that didn't sound like a gusad, a teenage girl in the house. And like, most of the problems or coming through were things that like, you and I could see here right now, and probably have more insight than that checked in. No doubt. And the way that she presented her solutions for people is so fucking annoying. She's got that sing-songy voice. And maybe this is a nervous thing too, but listen

to this. Of course. Well, I don't know. Yeah, yeah. I mean, I guess like I feel so sad because there's probably so many people who get stuck Staying with people because of finances This was the list of the sad finances I just I'm picturing just a fat ugly chick. You think she's ugly? Oh, she's got to be. She's so fucking annoying. Oh, maybe she is. Well, you're picturing that she's pretty hot, like someone's putting up with this nonsense because she's out.

Yes. Because it didn't seem like she had a lot of successful relationships based on what she was talking about with herself. I'm guessing she's uncomfortable to be around in every single one. And she's a soda drinker. Yeah, like I um, like I...

She's Dr. Pepsi because her first AOL instant messenger screen name was Pepsi 1 or something like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So she's been waiting 12 years. I know, I'm so excited to be Dr. Pepsi, are ya? Oh god. Like boring. Alright, so you think, okay, well Dr. Pepsi is annoying and uninformative, but she's

also wildly unfunny and has zero sense of humor. Here is her attempt at a joke. I've not been called thirsty since middle school. Yeah, right. I bet you get like at their, Derek,. They're just the all the time at you. It's better. I don't know how it's better. I bet you get hashtags.

Is that like a popular hashtag? No, of course not. This is a fucking idiot trying to make a joke. So she just use hashtags. I bet you get thirsty hashtag. Oh, I thought maybe as a slicks me I was missing. No, what do you think? What are you thinking?

Sex. What are you gonna have there, you're gonna get it. There's no reaction that you can have to someone saying that. It's just dumb. It's just a dumb person. So you're thinking, okay, she's not a doctor. What is she gonna have? Could it be singing?

You got the Morrissey syndrome, Derek. Expand on that. I feel like that's something like Morrissey Syndrome, Derek. Expand on that. I feel like that's something more so you would sing about. If I'd like you, over with your life. Nope. Oof, oof, that's our improv skills right there. That's our Morrissey song.

And I understand when somebody fails, you want to pick them up. That's just how you want to correspond with someone who's on your show. Yeah, right, right, right. So someone says something lame. You'll try to tag it and make it less lame. Ooh, Derek tries it, but this is a swing and a mess.

If I like you all ruin your life. I feel like... Nope, sorry. You look... Derek's a fucking dummy. He's the worst. He tries to be funny so often He he is I don't think he likes women either like I in general. He's got this like hatefulness Yes, you know, I'm like fuck you. I'm like he says that a few times around it I so bad want to be like you guys are both fucking cunts. I was just waiting for

Some more hateful words out of old Derek's mouth. Well, let's get into a little bit of Derek here. I want to play a couple of things here. This is right off the bat at the beginning of the show. Mary says she's reading the question in the person's voice, and that the person is boring. So in other words, the question came in from a listener, and Mary's reading it like, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah reading it like blah blah blah yada yada yada and that makes this joke They they said that's why it was boring when I was listening to you because you were doing it in their voice Oh dare you so you've been doing this whole podcast as that person like even the previous episodes

Derek try he's trying to be ruthless, right? Get a little swig in the mist, Derek. You gotta love the guy. I have another example of Derek trying to be funny. And this is actually him talking to Dr. Pepsi, but you can tell Derek doesn't have a rapport with Dr. Pepsi and he quickly takes this one back. That's a bad attitude for your mom to have. I think she might be having some good sex in the near future very near future If I have my way just kidding

So he makes it joke about fucking your mom and then it quickly just like just kidding I don't do my fucking mom's just kidding a couple times. Okay. Yeah, he does. I do have a quick Compilation on that just kidding just kidding just kidding just kidding just kidding It's like we get up it with the just kidding. Yeah. You're trying to be funny, dude. It's such a lame move to say, oh, I'm just kidding. Do we got it?

You really didn't really think you wanted to shoot a cop, homicide. One point he says out there, he's like, oh, I'm going to die homicide by cop. Yeah, I think I have this. It's starting, I call this starting off with hilarious jokes. This is how the podcast begins. So that's your disclaimer.

And for me and Mary, you can listen to whatever we say, no matter how serious it is, or if it ruins your life, just go ahead and do it. Not a problem. We will not be arrested, probably. But if they try to arrest me, I will not go all the way. I'm gonna commit suicide by cop

I'm gonna commit homicide of cop just kidding. I'm just kidding. Just kidding Yeah, no shit. What's funny is that Mary's joke is actually not that bad. It isn't right Right, right. I know what that go and move Don instead he makes a worse joke and then I say it's just kidding Yay Mary 60 times who dare I'm with you man man I'm on team Mary Yeah, except for I will get into some things about Mary, but before we do that I want to talk. Did you talk about his voice at all for a second? Oh, and he and he he points it out twice in there first. He calls himself Ray Romano correct and with the frog which like you know, I get he's trying to be a little self-deprecating because his voice does sound like that

Sure, but it's like if you know your voice sounds like that then I don't know it man Like it's hard for me even podcasting might not be for you, bro I don't think he has a bad podcasting voice. It's the content that turns you off if he was saying funny things It wouldn't bother you. All right, so here is getting, this is just an awkward part of the show. And this is again, dare trying to be funny. And it just gets completely derailed because this Dr. Pepsi woman does not work well with him at all. I can only masturbate if I have a sawdoth shotgun with my toe just resting on the trigger. Can you just read Americans like a... He doesn't know how to read.

Can you take a break? What was the question? Holy shit. Wow. Talk about things. Did she try to get the fuck out of there? Didn't she just edit that out post? What did we do?

Can we take a break? I'm ready to be dealt with you guys. I gotta say though, that was pretty edgy, bro. That's pretty edgy. Who's pretty edgy? The Shaka. Hell yeah dude. I gotta say that. I listen to it and I was like,

I can't wait to listen to another one. That right there. I'm took Derek. You're hilarious. You wanna talk about edgy? Here is Dr. Pepsi's best joke of the entire episode. I also told my last, like, Explofer New Bro broke my heart, like, good luck being bald, asshole. Like, Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha Yeah, holy shit watch out for that one. Dr. Pepsi's I do want to talk more about Dr. Pepsi because that's what most of these clips are that I pulled One of the things that she does Todd do you remember this part of the show where she decides that the co-host Derek

Remainter of her friend from Portland. Yeah, Jet Lee. I mean the the whole Jet Lee thing. And then they go into the whole Jet Lee thing. The good one, the bad one. Yes, of course. Okay, so let me just play this little saga for you, because if you want to be super boring on a podcast, make sure to start talking about someone, no one else knows. This isn't even an inside joke,

which I hate when podcasts have their inside jokes between the hosts. Not even the host knows who she's talking about. Right. And this takes up a lot of the shit. But even the host knows who she's talking about. Right. And this takes up a lot of the shit. But let me just set this up. I call this Pepsi is boring.

Actually, I guess that's kind of a mashup, but I had this really good friend who lives in Portland who you kind of look like and sound like, do you have any relatives in Portland? Who gives a shit, who gives a fuck? Yes, exactly. Who gives a shit? Ah!

So I gotta come up with more quick shit. I can. I can't listen this again. I do not do you understand like the first I know it's an agent. I never wanted to cry listen to a podcast, but out of just complete like I was like it was painful Let me ask you a question Todd. What app do you listen to podcasts? The new shitty new Apple podcast. So you have the iTunes or whatever The new shitty new apple. Okay, so you the iTunes or whatever Doesn't have a feature you can play it at a faster rate 15. Yeah. Oh, yeah, I highly recommend that for any show You do A little bit of the comedic I just do it need to so this one I guess had no worries with it all You're not gonna miss any like perfect timed bits. There's not a lot of that the cause button would have been the best button for this one

Yeah, the delete I Swipe left out it. Fuck out of here. All right, so this is a try that happened right after that track that we just played I call this obvious edit just listen closely you can tell that they cut something that happened in here It's here this and it's weird to me that they wouldn't do a better job of Editing this in post. It's also weird to me that they wouldn't edit more of this out. What's he do? He's a musician. I should, we should start a band.

Did you hear that? Yes. She's making the verbal noise, and then they cut to this other part with someone talking in the background. So I thought it was odd that they would have this to see if that was an edit. Oh Oh yeah definitely. I think they went in and post and there was some conversation that was going on because she probably

talked about this guy. No one knows about for 20 minutes. What's they gonna edit? Why don't they edit all that? I know that's what I mean. Like you obviously knew to take shit out. Yeah. This first five minutes is interesting. I'm right. It wasn't. It wasn't interesting. So here's the last thing that I want to play. Right, but it wasn't at all. It was it. So here's the last thing that I want to play Talking about this guy that no one knows she gets very excited about this. We are you. What's your zodiac sign Derek? Cancer you're a cancer. You're cancer. You're cancer. My friend Portland is a cancer too. Oh my god Hey, you know what guys this right here this rambling boring conversation. This could be a podcast This right here, this rambling boring conversation, this could be a podcast. This is the reason why podcasts get a bad name.

Because people have these mundane conversations that I wouldn't care if I was just standing at the bar with them. I would walk away from it. And then they put it out as if it's a fucking show that we should be listening to for entertainment value. How is this possibly entertaining? It's not. This one's like, oh my god. You have a one in 12 chance of being the same fucking sign as this person I know who I think reminds me of you. Gives a shit. You don't grab my anyone fucking care of me.

Oh it does. I don't care about her. I sure shit don't care about her friends. None of them beg my attention at all. I don't care about Portland at this point. I'm disappointed because of this fucking show. Man and everything. What am I doing?

I'm falling into the ditch. I don't even know. He's a ditch because he's friends with Dr. Because of this fucking show man everything Is He's a dude because he's friends with dr. But it's weird that their friends with dr. Pazzy She's a boring fucking person. She is it's surprising to me that she has friends in this world Todd I've been doing this new thing on w atp. Okay, this new segment. I call it no shit Sherlock Yeah, yeah, and here's my no shit Sherlock clip of the day. Did you have a sign note from your parents? I don't know. I don't have a funny response.

You should remember I really, it's not funny. No shit Sherlock, no shit. No shit Sherlock, no fucking shit Sherlock. All right, so getting back to Derek, I know we're jumping all around. We're not being cohesive on this, I apologize. No, that's probably my fault, I'm pretty... No, this is good. This is good.

A-D with all this bullshit. What sucks is, so last week we had Jen from the Jingle's department who came out and she was like, I liked this podcast. I heard that. That we listened to, and I was like, oh, the mom and the mom and the son of one. The sex talk with my mom. And it threw me off. But in the aftermath of it, it made sense

that we would have like a gang in a gang. Right. She liked the show, I didn't like the show. That's a conversation. You and me are both like Derek Sucks, Dr. Pepsi Sucks. Like what else is there to talk about? We kind of figured this all out. Right. We were like, 10 minutes, I was like, Dr. Pepsi Sucks, like what else is there to talk about? We kind of figured this all out. Right.

10 minutes, I was like, okay. That's amazing. It doesn't make it as good when we both have the exact same opinion on it. But it doesn't put that thing in what. There's a lot of nuance things going on in this podcast they can be ripped apart. Oh, yeah.

Like Derek's little Asian, his Asian, he's like, that wasn't racist. He tried to talk like an Asian. Right. And then she, this, and she is Asian. So Mary has a good sense of humor. So she doesn't care.

Right. And that's fine. But I appreciate that. But the Dr. Pepsi woman's like, oh my god, I'm uncomfortable. What's going on here? She's so uncomfortable. And you're just like,

get a hold of her. And then he said, retar me. Oh yeah, she didn't like that. She's like, oh, I don't like the art word. And it just stopped Derek and his tracks, which I actually have to defend Derek on this one

If you're on a show and it's not your show and somebody uses a word you uncomfortable with just fucking get over it Don't make mention of it because you're you're making everyone uncomfortable at that. Yeah, and she's A couple before obviously Derek's trying to get a rise out of right a lot of it right and even though it doesn't work at all But how about you just let the re-t... You can, maybe a groan, I'll take a little groan, okay, said re-tired, but to stop. Right, you can, you can make it groan. I don't like that word.

Right, exactly. Well now everybody knows you don't like that word. Good for you. And poor Derek, I mean, how do you recover from that? Because what I would've done is I was like, that's because you're a fucking re-tired. That's why you don't like it. A shotgun.

Cause Derek sucks. So here is Speaking of Derek sucks. This is him trying to do apple no I'm gonna take doubles advocate for now. Okay You're in this room. Yeah, no, let's do this podcast is actually informative and good. Let's do this Here we go. This is tell me that these are good jokes from from Derek I had a friend who dealt with that so much because she loved it. Apparently the type of guy she dated, they always had guns.

What? Yeah, and she said they always came up on their first date, like by the way, I have a gun. So many ladies will think that's hot, you know? I think you should bring it up after you order the appetizer sampler at Apple Bees because that's where you're eating for sure But before the two for twenty on trays come out Fuck golden

I just proved your boy this guy's amazing. He's that's golden exactly shit. I mean he threw the two for 20 Big That was the deal that was the deal dude. This is this is crazy to me The woman's talking about a friend who dated this guy who carried a gun which whatever some people carry a gun with I'm its legal in this country and then he goes well obviously they were eating at Apple bees What kind of connection is that? I don't know what the two things have to do with each other. Because Derek's way to cool the eat of Applebees. Well, even though he knows it's a two for 20. Okay, but come on, somebody in the caliber of a Derek,

that was not a year. He doesn't eat at Applebees, bro. Give him some credit. All right, I don't like how you keep my man down. You're right, you're right. So let's go back to Rippie God, this dummy, Dr. Pepsi. So we were talking about how she's kind of a social justice warrior, you know, with her, I don't like the, oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, and shit like that.

This stood out to me specifically where she gets real judgy here. Weird is like a very judgmental word. Like nothing is actually weird, right? The way you talk is weird. I don't where does a thing. Where is fucking weird? Nothing's really weird. Nothing's weird. Everything's great. I accept all things all the time. It's your weird. It's your normal. And if it's your normal, it's not. Yeah. Oh my god. I fuck up. That's that's the exact thing. I wanted to take the opposite of Produe. You can't do it, you can't do it. That's the exact stance of a boring person. That is how you be as boring as possible

by having zero opinions that I have. Everything's great. Everyone's just spending their whole life in college. Yes. And I've got it, she spent her whole life in college, in that college campus, and I go chair and burry out.

Exactly. So to her, she's such a social, just where she hasn't lived. Oh my god. And you can tell by her responses and have these questions that she hasn't lived a life. She's a fucking bore fast. Let me, this is, I thought she needs to get a drug problem. Are such, she's the way more interesting.

Yeah, she needs like a, yes. Right. Dr. Popsie. Actually, I don't wanna see her on math, that would suck. Maybe she'll lose 10 poundages that you're talking about. All right, Dr. Busy,. Actually, I don't wanna see her on meth, that would suck. Maybe she'll lose some poundages that you're talking about. All right, Dr. Popsie, our advice to you, got you in my show now.

Right, is to start doing meth. Yes. This is Dr. Popsie. Mary says, I'm gonna give you one of my problems. You're professional. I want you to help me and Mary lays it out there. This issue that she's having with being attracted to guys that are unattainable.

And this is Dr. Popsie, I thought this would be a high-five. And I thought this was just the funniest thing that she could have said after all this nonsense that was going on in the show. I feel like I have to take off my professional hat because I sort of just feel like, and maybe this is just anecdotally from my own experience too. The heart wants what the heart wants. I don't know, I've never actually been able to like, not have a crush on somebody,

but I guess like there is, she had to take off her professional hat for that one, Todd. Do they sound any different than anything else she was saying the rest of the show? It was all just like boring nonsense. There's girl talk. Yeah, it was all just girl talk. It's girl talk, exactly, right. Her whole thing is girl talk. Yes

Mushi emotional frothy bullshit. Yes, that's what it is All right, I gotta talk about Mary because all girls talk like that dude. They do We're going nice to go back to the 30s and 40s, right? Go see a baseball game with just dudes. It's all guys, women's stay in home. Those are good times. Fuck you. I don't like that kind of talk on my show Todd. It really bothers me. I wasn't do this other episode that they did with John Levinson.

John Levinson, so he was a guest on episode 10. He was a writer and a rest of development. I think a creator of Krollshall. I saw that. Yeah, so this guy is a professional comedian. He's a Jew. Well, I mean, so much. I don't know.

You know, I don't know if they have to like him. Well, hey, I mean, he's my tribe, bro. He's your tribe, so you got to get down with him. I like him. I think he's a really funny guy. Luckily in black, too. I don't know if you're against him. Luckily in black was on the show.

How? Right. Right. It's bizarre. So John Lovinstine is on the show. I just pulled one clip from that episode because I thought this was funny. He's talking to Derek as Derek is trying to riff and be funny. And he would sponsor this as well. Yeah, really? Profizer. Was that like a sex drug, right? I don't know, edit that out. I, I, the whole time you're gonna be like

critiquing my banter and telling me when to edit out my jokes. For you. For you. For you. That was really funny. This guy says the lamest thing and, just goes, you should just edit that out. Did it?

And if literally we're gonna be here in a two human podcast. It's his jokes. That's exactly right. So let's talk about Michael E. and Black. He was on the show, I didn't listen to that one. That was episode 12. But did you know that Mary used to do a podcast

called Co-Cast? Mm-hmm. This was a podcast from a couple of years ago. It lasted six whole episodes. The very first guess she ever had was Michael Ian Black. Oh, is there a little something, something going on? Maybe, maybe. But this is interesting because Michael Ian yellow, if you know what I mean. I do like Mary of the three. I thought she was the best, but she's not a great interviewer. This is the very first question right out of the gate of her first podcast, and listen to the ad, this is fucking genius. Hi, Michael.

Hi. So thanks for being my podcast. My pleasure. What are you doing in LA? I'm, who cares? Okay. What are you doing? What are you doing in LA? I'm who cares? Okay. What are you doing? What are you doing in LA? He goes, uh, who cares? She's like, okay, come on. I love that. It's so fucking funny because it's Michael Lee and Blake. Is he living? I mean, is he? Well, I don't even know,

he probably does live in LA. He was famous. He's a famous comedian. I just thought that was so funny that finally there's someone who's a professional comedian who's just like who cares What about us getting something? Yeah, exactly. I'm not even a huge Michael Ian Black fan. Me neither. You know what I mean? I used to like him and then we listened to this podcast called Tom and Mike eat snacks. Is he a pretentious con? No, they had this stick going on the whole time where they were pretending everything they said was funny but it wasn't funny and I couldn't figure out. Anyway, yeah, I lost a lot of respect for it, but that's what happens when I have

to scrutinize all these fucking shitty podcasts every week. It's ruining entertainment for me. Todd, do you remember at the end of the show they talk about they don't know how to end the show? Yeah, they don't, they definitely don't know how to end the show. All right, so let me play you Let me play you that clever rockwack So we haven't yet figured out how we end the episodes Really bad at it if you have any idea. It's about how Podcast normally ends love to hear it from a professional. Yeah, fucking end it a shotgun blast

Yeah, fucking end it a shotgun blast A couple more days, how about you just fucking end it? I'm not exactly sure how I should end it This is Pepsi she so that she shows I have a suggestion on how to end a show This is a Tuesday. Here's Pepsi. We can each say one thing we appreciate The worst that's the worst you can do this supposed to be a comedy show. Is it I think no I think so if you gotta come You like to use a com comedian. It is isn't it isn't like in the community. Yeah, that's in the comments It is oh yeah. Yeah, you need to move it to the fucking can we talk about Derek's Twitter? This guy definitely thinks he's a comedian. He tweets non stop. I mean multiple tweets per day and I just want to read you a couple of his tweets. Yeah, let's do this

To get an idea of how love Derek health is funny. Yeah, that's right. You're back. I'm that train Just to give you an idea how funny this guy is a dream all right So people trying to dox me so I'll just say it. My real name is Garth Springer. I'm a 45 year old from Boise on disability because of severe taint acne. No, I mean it's. So genius bro.

Yeah, that's genius. Taint acne. He's on disability for taint acne. That's hilarious because you got the word taint. You got the word acne I mean you put taint in acting together. Who else would think of that except for the genius of Derek? What do you say his name was again in that? My real name is Garryl Springer. Garth Springer. Yeah hilarious. How long do you think he said there thinking of that? I'm I'm I'm here to it took a while right? I got it. I got it. It's gotta be the most lame name. What are you? I got it! I got it! Dude, it's gotta be that most lame name! What- what are you gonna be?

I got it! I got it! Alright, uh, here's- yeah, I should read it as well, sorry. Here's another one. I didn't learn how to imagine stuff until last month, and I keep interrupting Convos like, hey guys, I just envisioned a beautiful forest. It's literally a tweet from just the other day. Convos?

Yeah, yeah, cause he's fucking cool man. He's got the link down. He means conversations. Yes, combos. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's interrupting combos, dude. Fuck yeah, dude. Alright.

Bro, are you ready? This one is ironic and a little bit meta. When I come across someone's unfunny tweets and their head writer of a talk show, I just think, wow, I can believe they succeeded in comedy. I don't get that at all. I don't need it. But it sounds like he's so cool. It just, he's, it sounds like he's trying to be so cool. Right? All right. All right. You ready for this one? Now this is a good play on words. This is, this is the last tweet I'm going to read from this guy. I recommend everyone go check out his Twitter on your own.

What is it? It's Derek, but spelled weird, right? His handle is like E.E. DRK or something like that. It's a big stuff letter or something. Yeah, it's weird. Okay, so listen to this one. You know dark comedy, but how about bark comedy? I mean, I should read that differently.

I want to do this justice. So this isn't cool. Wait, wait, wait, wait. This isn't cool. It says, you know dark comedy, but how about bark comedy? Me pitching my sitcom about dog fighting ring to my first and final big Hollywood meeting. Uh, what was the next part? Exactly. That one is, uh, it's a little rough. So didn't you say somebody from Comtown turned you on to these guys? Exactly that one is it's a little rough So did you say somebody from Comtown turned you on to these guys? Yes, okay? It was a Derek himself the turn it was a guy's name is Daniel, but I know Derek but it was a come boy who said I didn't appreciate your guys take on

Comtown, but check out this show so I noticed that he follows the come boys on there So I noticed that he follows the come boys on there Oh, so he's a combo he's a come boy interesting. So I do think maybe he suggested it I'm thinking it's but I think he's that much of a blow hard that he actually might have done that okay There's a twist yeah, I know that I look and some of the things he's saying is very Come town-ish, but not nearly as good like he's trying to go for this ironic fucking like Oh, I'm so edgy but it comes across as just not funny. We should talk about that. You're a big fan of come time I am And then I were sitting right where you and I are

Listening to these clips and going I don't get it. I am a come boy and ever say that with love I know you're all in I love that about you I've tried to listen and ever I say that with love. I know you're all it. I love that about you I've tried to listen to more episodes since that show. I just don't get it and everyone in the subreddit's like What do you guys fucking don't understand comedy like I think I do but I don't see where they're ready jokes on this show Oh good. It's from that. I mean there's good just like any podcast is good episodes of bad episode Okay, maybe we pick the bad is some that literally I have been laughing out loud. Okay. But you have to get used to the college dorm humor of it.

And it's so absurd, like fucking your dad. I mean, like the whole joking thing about fucking your dad. And I thought it was pretty funny. It's funny. That was pretty funny. They talk, they, somebody said they have it. They couldn't, they didn't appreciate a podcast that skips around saying the N word for 45 minutes. Like it's very, they don't give a fuck.

They don't give a fuck. That's definitely for sure. You got, I'm gonna send you a couple good ones. Please do. I'm a proud come boy. Please do. I, I want to understand it. Shout out to the come boys out there.

All right. I, I hear that WATP is pro come boys. We're taking that to our official stance now, Abbas. All right, I just have a couple more clips that I want to play from the show and then we'll move on with our lives. This is, at the very end of the show, Dr. Pepsi, once again, just being playful and fun. She's so cute. She's so cute and fun.

This is her messing with you. My microphone was off the whole time. Is that okay? I'm just kidding. I'm just looking at you. Oh my god. Oh my god. My cutter. What world is she from? How would she think that would be a funny thing to say and that it would be your hand? You're right. I'm totally sped and I'm not just. Yeah. You know what? She you know where she hasn't been?

A party. Right because she if she understood Human interaction at all she would not be saying things like that like you said at the very beginning of the show It's like a teenage girl like a noxious. Just like ew. Yeah, it's exactly what she's like you thinking before you talk Okay, so here's Mike. Here's my question. So you got real problems in your life, bro I don't but I do I do so let's say's my question. So you got real problems in your life, bro. All right. I don't, but I have to say, I do. I do.

So let's say I save somebody like me who's got real problems in her life. I need to go find a shrink, a psychologist. Sure. A good one. I see, oh look at this girl right here. I look her up and I go see her. Am I gonna go to somebody like her

and walk away, feel it being a better person and growing? Or am I gonna walk away from her? Literally, there's no way you would be better. You couldn't be better. Actually, maybe only reason I don't feel better is because I am better than her. Right, you feel better, but I'm like, what is it about this retard?

Jesus Christ. It's like a speaking sentences, so I got that going for me. Yeah, it's very surprising to me. Maybe she's like the first fetal alcohol syndrome person to get a doctorate and be able to be shrink. Man, boy is my face red. Are you kidding?

We've been making fun of her this whole time. Yeah. Mommy had a couple of... Man, she is fucking dumb. So I put together my own suggestion for how to make this podcast better and also how to end it. This is my suggestion. Okay, good. Enjoy the show. Okay, so we have a guest this time and our guest is a How would you describe yourself?

I am a psychologist killer. Killer, well, thanks again. This has been the fucking podcast. I guess I'll stand up. The end by. Still painful, bro. It's still too long. Wait, Jesus. I could have shortened it up a bit.

I cannot hear their voices anymore. Oh my god, it's brutal. It literally, I mean, my body is sore from, listen to this, but you know what? I'll fuck you, man. Yeah, no shit. Look, you're putting me in this predicament. I don't blame you.

Damn it. I do this every single week time. Do you know what that's like? Do you know what this does to me? I would get sick. I would be like, is it my marriage that I'm saying or listening to content that is garbage on purpose multiple times every week, my poor wife. I would be like, I would be like, I would be like, I would be like, I would be like, I would be like, I would be like,

I would be like, I would be like, I would be like, I would be like, I would be like, I would be like, I would be like, I would be like,

I would be like, I would be like, I would be like, I would be like, I would be like, I would be like, I would be like, I would be like,

I would be like, I would be like, I would be like, I would be like, I would be like, I would be like, I would be like, I would be like, I would be like, I would be like, I would be like, I would be like, I would be like, podcast that I've actually liked most recently the Dix show which is Dick Masterson who came from a show named by the name and he has a website called

men are better than women.com I think you would like it a lot awesome I think you'd be able to get down with this guy but no there's big times I've actually been turned on to new shows that I listened to and I continue to listen to because of W.A.T.P but but it is few and far-retired. It is, right? Oh my God. Most podcasts are terrible. God damn it.

And it's by, you know, Todd, you play in bands. You've played in bands for a long time. Me too. It's my complaint about entertainment in general is that there's so many people bad at it who push themselves into it. It ruins it for everybody else. It does. Because if you're like, do you want to just go out to the bar that has live music and

check out the band tonight? No, it's probably gonna suck. And you're right. It probably will. Is it a Rochester thing though? I think it's everywhere. Do you? I do.

I don't know. I could be wrong. It's definitely a Rochester thing. Hey, man. It's most fanned suck. That's for sure. That is a rule that you could do. But this is the same thing with podcasts.

It's too easy to make a podcast. It's too easy to make a podcast. It's too easy to start a band. I mean, fuck. I do a podcast. I blame, I blame modern computers and power cords for the reason that being in a band or making a podcast is too fucking easy. It really is, dude. You know, time let's talk about that. You do a podcast.

Yeah, I do. You do a podcast that's called Hate This Podcast. Yeah, yeah. Why do you call it that? Because of people, shows like this. Okay, so automatically, somebody listens like, go ahead and you get my permission to already fucking hate this podcast.

Okay, yeah, look. So you're gonna get in front of it. Oh yeah, do you totally. You're like, you wanna hate this podcast? I already beat you to the point. Yeah, so I call it hate this podcast. That's exactly why I do. Interesting, okay.

I've listened to a bunch of episodes. I like what you're doing. It's fun. You guys talked to a lot of local comedians. We do. I heard your conversation with a 19 year old comedian. Yeah. Recently, that was interesting. Yeah, I mean, really all he has in life is knowing about his dick.

Right. I mean, what else do you have? I know. It's hard not to be jealous of someone who's 19 years old. 19. You're a whole take with him. It's just like, well, you've been in relationship for two years. What are you doing?

Now, it's the time when you just be fucking everyone who's out there, you're college, when you do it. I know. You're not suddenly down, asshole. You dick is never gonna get harder than it is right now. Right. Exactly. If you don't start using it, trust me.

Every year, it gets just a little bit softer. I mean, if it comes down to watching, it's always sunny in Philadelphia, or like banging my old lady. Yeah. Charlie's a pretty funny guy. Oh, it's sunny. Yeah, even if you started to see that episode, you're like, I like this one.

Yeah. This is what I like to remind everyone that my mother-in-law listens to the show and likes it a lot. All right, so, Hi. Another thing that we talk about on this show, it's been a reoccurring theme,

is this thing where the name Carl is now a punchline. Yeah, I don't know how this came about. It's still as confusing to me, but our buddy, Krozier, who helps cohosts him from time to time, sent me another Seth Meyers link. Seth Meyers has been out here before with this shit, and here we go, and this is a little bit of a sight gag

because he's got like the video screen thing next to him, but still you get the point. Australia voted illegalized gay marriage yesterday, which is great news. Yeah. It's great news, but also a lot of pressure on Carl. LAUGHTER LAUGHTER

We haven't gotten that graphic right all day. Dude, why does that sound like somebody's possessed? It was weird because the graphic they show is a koala bear with like bulging eyeballs. So I don't know if he literally didn't get the graphic right or what that punch I'm supposed to be like puts a lot of pressure on Carl. Why is Carl just an automatic putt, he doesn't matter what the setup is. Did he have a front part? The punch I'm like Carl. And you're like,, I'm fucking idiot. It's kind of a funny name I'm not gonna lie like I might intentionally write a joke. You should I have Carl like this seems like it works Dude it works. I'm gonna. I think I'm gonna think you were in the finals for funniest person in Rochester this year, right?

Somehow did you use the punchline carol? Uh, I didn't, no. That's why you didn't win. I know. Dude, that's the formula, dude. Seth Meyers, look at where I'm at. I'm gonna say that. I'm, I'm, I'm gonna go home and think about it.

I wonder what I want. Dude, you have to write one, send it into the show. I will. Actually, write as many as you can. Okay. But everything has to be just the punchline carol. I will. And let's see if they get funnier or less. I want to see how many different scenarios I can make a punchline carol.

Alright, and then I'll make a bunch of jokes about Todd. In fact, I think George Carlin has. Have you ever heard George Carlin's been about the name Todd? I may have actually. I gotta pull that one out, because that's pretty funny. He's not a fan. He's not a fan. You guys name Todd?

No, not a fan. Oh, George. So, um, Glad you're dead, you old brick. So we've done it all here, Todd. We've talked about the podcasts that we both listened to that we both thought was garbage. We've talked about it. You thought it was garbage.

You loved it. You loved it, right? You saw all the redeeming qualities. We talked about the name Carl being a punchline. Remember that part of our show that we just did? Yeah, kind of. Yeah. So, you know what that means? Weline. Remember that part of our show that we just did? Yeah, kind of. Yeah. So you know what that means.

We've reached a certain part of the show. Oh, geez. That's a sweet, sweet, sweet. That's what's easy. That's what's easy. That's what's easy. That's what's easy. That's right, Todd.

It is time for next week's teas. Do you know what this part of the show? I do. Are you familiar with this? Do you know why we do it? Did teas it for next week? teas. Do you know what this part of the show? I do. Are you familiar with this? Yeah. Do you know why we do it? Uh, do teas it for next week? Well, that's exactly right! Come on!

You fucking nailed it! To me and Derek. First time co-hosting and you nailed it. God damn it! So this is what we do. We play a clip from the podcast we'll be reviewing next week to get everyone excited about it. Yeah, let's do it. Right?

Yeah. You want to be like, oh, shit, I can't wait to hear what they say about that podcast. I'm excited. All right. So here's a clip from next week's podcast For any of us who have spent any time in common sections We know all too well that people often hurl the barb kill yourself to something or someone they don't agree with I've seen everything in the book and yes

I've seen it directed at me Commenters have also told me to drink bleach and others have straight up just told me to kill myself. Apologies to those commenters because I have no plans to do either. Uh, I love you, you know, I had a lost rewards right now. What the fuck? It was basically like really shitty fucking like, trans music or something. Yeah, well, there was, there was a guy talking over it too. So this is a podcast called Conversations with People Who Hate Me. We're going to listen to episode eight called Don't Kill Yourself from September 25th, 2017.

This is a listener suggestion from Andrew. Andrew, thank you for writing into the show. You can write into us at watpshow. At gmail.com. Go to our website. There's a form you can fill out. We're always looking for suggestions, so please send those in. But let me just read you the description of this podcast from their iTunes page.

Conversations with people who hate me takes hateful conversations online and turns them into productive conversations offline. As a writer and video maker who focuses on social justice issues. Dylan Marin receives a lot of negative messages on the internet. So in other words, this guy, social justice warrior. The premise had me up until he said social justice. Yeah, social justice warrior gets people going like,

fuck you, you suck. And then he calls them up and makes a podcast out of their conversations with the trolls who are trolling him on the internet. Really? Yeah, this is gonna be weird for me because I get so much negative comments on the internet that I don't know if I'm gonna be on this guy's side or not.

It's gonna be weird. I'm gonna, you know what? You change me, bro. If anyone can have a conversation about people who get trolled on the internet, I would think it would be the W-A-T-P show. That's true, right? I've seen some of your feedback on it

It's not all that positive. I gotta tell you there's a few people who don't agree with what we do over here at WATP Now he's that he's worked well, bro Thanks man, I'm gonna bring you back on to the show just as a cheerleader I think you're gonna fucking fantastic job Thanks man I'm just gonna have you here just blow and smoke up the ass. Yeah. This is your new role.

Okay. Cut Gursland, blow and smoke up the ass. Some things were just born good at, bro. So again, I just wanna promote, hate this podcast. Thanks, Kyle. Check it out. You guys do interviews with very interesting folks. I listened to my buddy Eric Burke on there.

Those were our beginning ones. Yeah. To Blaze. You've had a lot of the area of musicians, but also comedians, so definitely worth checking out. And with that, how do you end a podcast, you know? Usually I just say later. Party in the must-vis of Morning Radio Hey, now the show is closed right now Take, take, take, come on!

Ha, ha, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Who gets the fuck? You know, who are these podcasts? I don't know. I don't get it. Makes no sense. And I'm getting really sick of guys named Todd. You know, yeah, it's just a goofy, it's a goofy fucking name, okay? Hi, what's your name? Todd. I'm Todd.

And this is Blake and Blair and Blaine and Brent. Where are all these goofy fucking boys' names coming from? Taylor, Tyler, Jordan, Flynn. These are not real names. You want to hear a real name? Eddie. Eddie is a real name. Whatever happened to Eddie, he was here a minute ago.

Joey and Jackie and Johnny and Phil, Bobby and Tommy and Danny and Bill, what happened? Todd and Cody and Dylan and Cameron and Tucker. Hi Tucker, I'm Todd. Hi Todd and soccer. Fuck Tucker, Tucker sucks. And fuck Tucker's friend Kyle. Yeah, yeah.

There's another soft name for a boy. Kyle. Soft names make soft people. I'll bet you anything that 10 times out of 10, Nicky Vinny and Tony will beat the shit out of Todd, Kyle, and Tucker. Yeah. Thank you.