Who Are These Podcasts? - WATS - Ep04 - Advice

Episode Date: December 30, 2022

We're tightening things up on another jam-packed episode of Who Are These Socials. This week Blind Mike and Karl Hamburger watch a sports reporter who is not a morning person, check out Tom Myers brilliant TikTok videos, explain why Bo Burnham is so problematic and needs to be cancelled even after his retirement, check in on Karl's Facebook feed, get some much needed advice from Reddit, and much more. We will eventually have this on a separate feed but for now it’s on this one. You can also watch on YouTube.com/@karlwatp every Thursday at 6p ET. https://www.patreon.com/BlindMike http://bit.ly/watp-patreon https://watp.supercast.tech/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's showtime. Radio and line mine. We want business take care of. Who are these? Social. The number one podcast on the Internet today. W-A-B-S. Welcome to yet another episode of W-A-T-S. The show, thousands of people come to to learn the age old question, what's the deal with social media?

If you can find a show that knows more about social media, why don't you keep it to yourself? No one asked you. I'm your own scroll hamburger. With me, as always, is Mike Geary, aka Blind Mike. What's up, Mike? What's up, buddy? I don't know if you're aware of this.

We're going for a perfect record. I think every week one of us has been duped by a fake account and been like, do you believe this asshole? I know it's a good thing. This is a comedy show and that's something that we're not reporting the news That's a good thing. Oh the only people worse than us are the people that are like you mother fuckers Yeah, the people are offended there were so naive and dumb like what do you think this is gonna be? Some people are saying Mike that I won't read Superchats. Those people can listen to three hours

of Dr. Steve's original music because I will read every Superchat that comes in, although we'll probably save it till the end of the show, because we have a flow going here, Mike. That's right. You and I. Yes. And for anyone interested, I did hear Carl work out that Superchat joke

and it was like watching Shepel work on it. I'm gonna go find some. There's not more anti-trans stuff in Carl's preparation. Did you see it was a friend of mine? All right, you'll see you know. I can say these legs. All right. You can do it in that car. I want to start off and do better. Be better. I want to start off our show today on Twitter. And this is actually from an Iowa sports reporter. Yes. They had a storm in Iowa recently.

I guess most of the places in the US did. And this sports reporter was none too pleased that he got put on standing the so storm duty. Yeah, this is the best thing left about local news because like back in the day, you didn't want to fuck up as a reporter because everyone was watching. So everywhere you went in that town, you'd be recognized as the guy that fucked up on the local news. Now you just have to pray that no one that knows how to use any kind of editing software is watching you. And unfortunately, this guy did not get out on skate.

Honestly, I love this guy, actually. He seems like a miserable asshole. Yeah. But I'm not sure I'm that different from him necessarily. This has 7.8 million views, so let's check this out. Bart, how are you feeling out there? Uh, again, the same way I felt about eight minutes ago when you asked me that same question, right?

I normally do sports Everything is canceled here for the next couple of days So what better time to ask the sports guy to come in about five hours normally earlier than he would normally wake up already He's right off the bat when they go how you do and he's like fucking same as last time asshole. Yeah It's like alright, man. That's just a natural segue. Just trying to set up the bit here. Yeah, no shit. So I'm just trying to give it to you. Taking away Mark is what I could have said.

But I was just trying to be polite. It's fucking cold out. So I want to point out that this is a super cut. So he's on the morning news show. It's probably two, three hour long newscast they do. Yeah. And so this is a super cut of every time they go to him and he reports on how cold it is outside

and how snowy it is. And this is something you might not know, Mike, is that this guy Mark Woodley, who is the sports reporter, who's complaining here, is the guy who actually posted this supercut of this. Oh, really? He's proud of it. Oh, we're good for him, I guess.

All right, well, let's check it out. Better time to ask the sports guy to come in about five hours normally, earlier than he would normally wake up. Go stand out in the wind, in the snow, in the cold, and tell other people not to do the same. I didn't even realize that there was a 330 also in the morning until today. It's absolutely fantastic, Ryan.

You know, I'm used to these evening shows that are only 30 minutes long. And generally on those shows, I'm inside. So this is a really long show, two and in for the next couple hours to watch me progressively get crankier and crankier. I gotta hate this guy now that I know that he posted it. Yes. Because obviously he was pissed, but then he turns to the internet to be like,

aren't I a curmudgeon guys? Aren't I lovable? Well, what's interesting about this is, I don't think complaining about the job your boss gives you gets you further in your career ever. This isn't great career advice to people. And it's kind of a weird strategy to be like, oh, you're gonna

Tell me to do that. Well, I'm just gonna do a really shitty job I'll just use what this is what you do at a shitty job in private like with right the people at your level Where you like you believe these cocksucker send me out. Yeah, you do it. You do it. Press it. But grossedly this guy's just big aggressive Yeah, I get that storm chaser 7 duty. I feel like Clint got the better end of that deal You know that thing's heated The outdoors currently is not heated. Well, I'll tell you where I would love to know the rivalry between him and Clint I've been always getting better stuff than this asshole correct and there's a reason why obviously This guy is not very good at this job and I've got bad that the good news is that I can still feel my face right now.

The bad news is I kind of wish I couldn't. Can I go back to my regular job? I'm pretty sure Ryan that you guys added an extra hour to this show just because somebody likes torturing me because compared to a half hour ago. I like it. I like it. He's begging to go back to sports. It's like there's no sports in Iowa, Dickhead. We gave you something to do. Right. We're trying to get you to earn your paycheck

here. I mean, I couldn't be smarter and colder live in Waterloo for the last time this morning. Thankfully, I'm Mark Woodley, new seven KWWL. All right. Now, I think what happened here, and I could be very wrong about this, it's happened before, is that this actually turned into a viral video, like I said, 7.8 million views. Yeah. I have a feeling that every single time there's a snowstorm, they're starting this guy out there now, because I'm like, this is hilarious.

We're getting tons of engagement. Everyone's all over like, what you're supposed to do when you get a job you hate is do a shit job of it, so they never ask you to do it again. That will be the better video is the next time it snows in Iowa when this guy is like, I, you know, I just hate it. He's setting up his catchphrase. Say the line, Bart. Slides in like, yeah, he's off-carrying.

Whoa. Yeah, he's off-carrying. Whoa. Yeah, so I think that this guy did himself a disservice and it's going to be a problem for him. Now, we talked about this on WATP this week. I got roasted pretty good by one-time Myers. The man knows how to craft a joke. If you don't know Tom Myers is, he's possibly the worst comedian of all time. He's been at it for a very long time. He has multiple albums out. He has a podcast. He's always promoting himself and he's never said anything

funny. Not even remotely funny. Carl, listen, I've seen your writing process. I'd like to see you write something better than Bong hit transplant. Okay. I don't think it's happening. All right. So this is the the tweet that he put out, hey podcast Karen hamburger, even though you cut the last that occurred after the punch lines like you did with my standup video, thanks for bringing new fans again to the podcast this week.

And when I took off, I'll bet him on you a dollar Uncle Rico says, hi, by the way. Now, when I played this on who are these podcasts, I said, you know what I should have done? I was put together a super cut of the reactions because he's saying that I'm cutting out these big laughs that he's getting. He does like a monologue and being able to podcast. And the only people in the audience are his co-hosts.

So it's awkward. And every time I'm like, why is Carl cutting out the good thoughts? The follow. The right. These hilarious jokes, why is he doing out the gathaws the follow? Right, these hilarious jokes, why is he doing that to us? So Mike, what I've done for you today is I've picked a recent episode of Tom Myers versus the rest of the world. And I've gone ahead and put together a super cut of all the reactions to Tom Myers' monologue.

Oh wow. Yes. All right. So what you're going to hear is like the last couple words of the punchline and then the reaction. And all of the space you hear is the space in between that and then him doing his next joke. Okay.

All right. I mean, if you remember Conan back in the day or Letterman in the early 80s, I mean, this is the kind of response you'd expect from a hilarious comedian who really does have to put together a monologue. Five years of age. Podcasts there.

Wow. At the same time, a bachelorette party takes place, campaigning, pop a heart on in court. Oh, that's a sexual assault. Man, is it? Comedian Superform at a club with a woman's name aren't funny. And what do you like? You got to get that at least. Abby Mellow, none of that is natural.

And that was one of the things that we were pointing out. The laugh either comes two beats after the punch line Which tells you that it's like always done talk. Ah, yeah, cuz he's trained them to laugh the first few episodes of this podcast There was no reaction at all But that reaction where she goes bah Is not natural reacts, but you don't think so. No Now I now I just want to see Tom's tweet where he's like, well, this time Carl ended it out on all the setups.

I'm over, okay. I'm just looking at him. I can't wait to get it. So here's what I'm gonna do. Here's what I'm gonna do for you. There was one, I believe, real laugh that happened during this monologue. And what happened was he was setting up a joke.

They laughed at the setup, and then when he hit the punch line, he got nothing. So it's like, Tom, does not know how to structure a joke. This is proof of that. So I pulled just the only the real laugh and listen for him actually trampling the reaction that he got. The Trump organization was convicted on multiple counts of tax fraud. As punishment, I think the executive is involved in that scheme from Donald Trump on down should be forced to live and sleep in the lobby of Trump tower

while enduring New York comics barking, handing out flyers for their comedy shows and recording their podcasts there. While the same time a bachelor at party takes place. Everything about the way he did that joke. His cadence, his rhythm, everything was wrong. He's like, guys, you know, we wait, you think the joke's over? That was nearly long enough. Right, I got 17 more. I worked a few more sentences left. Of course.

But the way he did that, because he did the rule of fours again, top buyers in his rule of fours. Should he so stupid? It's exhausting. The, and I've said this before, but his title, the podcast title, is an example of how he doesn't know how to use concise vocabulary.

Like it should just be Tom Myers versus the world. We would get it. We would get it. We would get it. We would get it. Tom Myers versus myself, guys. No shit. We would get the rest of the world we would get it out. Yeah, I'm not I'm not Shit because I'm part of the world, but it's I'm against me. So you have to The rest that's everyone but me that I'm a guy's an an Abby and Jeff Heisen

I wish that the whole sense you just said I wish was part of the title Oh, All right now the other thing Tom Myers does is TikTok. Yes. So this is where, I mean, I had you back where co-hosts now, I said, listen, you son of a bitch, you're not gonna go after my guy Carl. Let's see how he is on TikTok.

And I'm sad to say I was wrong, he's got a hilarious TikTok. So I wanted to prepare some of the clips for that. Okay, all right, yeah, let's see what he's up to over there because this is a place where you do have to be kind of concise, right? You know, TikTok, you want to just get in and get out some fun one-liners. Yeah. Yeah, it's conducive to the Tom Myers style. I see it. Not quite. Okay. This was 11 seconds. Let's see what he does. Let's check this out. People often ask me, Tom, why don't you get a dog? Well Because I'm not taking anyone out to pee in this shit All right, so what he did was he moved his camera to look out the window and there's literally a half inch of snow

I'll be damned if I walk outside. What does that mean? He's never walking outside in the snow. Nothing. If you know how to write a joke, you can afford boots. People walk in snow. It's not a difficult endeavor. I just love that Tom is fed up with the droves of people approaching him. Same time.

Wait, God damn it. When are you going to get a dog? Enough's enough already. Settle down and get this dog for Christ's sake. And unlike a 12 year old Tom Myers, dogs can shit without an adult. You don't have to be proud. You just let the dog outside it will shit.

Come back. You have to walk with it. You have to give him this at least. He figured out the TikTok style. He kept it short and sweet. There was nothing funny or interesting in there, but it was short. You gotta give him that.

Now, I have to know something about Todd Myers, cause I do my research. I have a team over here. Okay. Todd Myers actually used to have a dog, but the dog saw his act to just ride right at the traffic. That's the tragic life of top-mire's dog so stupid All right, so as everyone knows top-mire is a cat dad

Sure That's a cat dad. That's probably why he gets all these questions He shouldn't be so public about his cat is cat adoption and he'd stop getting these goddamn dog questions He's the worst kind of cat dad because he's not even ashamed of it. He posts this on TikTok. Yeah, so there's a lot going on here. There is fireworks out there. Yeah.

Sorry, there's him being a cat dad. There's also Tom thinking like, oh, I know how to get attention on the internet. Kidding videos. Well, that is true. You can just put up any cat video, but also it's like, I feel a little bad for Tom,

because it's like, this is just what he's doing all day, every day. Oh, yeah, I love these videos, because it's a glimpse into his life. You can see it's a part man, you can see all the shit that's going on. So this is on the 4th of July, and this is what he's all

proud of with his cat. So my neighbors are sitting on fireworks outside and this little guy is not even phased. Look at you. But yeah, you're a badass. Now, this is highly embarrassing, I think. If you're gonna talk to a cat, it better be your girlfriend's cat and you gotta do it when she's not around. That's, or even if you did it when she was around, you would look at her and say, thank God no one else is here.

Listen to what assholes would sound like. It's so embarrassing. You know, we find the ability to broadcast from our homes to the entire world and this asshole goes, I'm going to talk to my cat. That's, it's the sad reality of being a comedian like Tom in this world. Like it sucks because as a comic, you don't necessarily want to have a social media presence, but it feels like you have to sure so instead of Tom saying like I got to figure out interesting shit to do to post on TikTok He's like, well, what do I have around my house? I have a cat. I could just post that

You're giving him the benefit of the doubt here. You're actually you're thinking like you would think That you're just said is like my Geary thinking wow, I gotta get some do something here this idiot thinks this is content This is You're right. I've been injected my own thoughts. You really did really did that one All right, well, I'm fascinated by this. Let's let's get some more cat videos with our boy top here You know buddy and I are a lot of like in the evenings we both like resting and relaxing and if buddy had a Facebook page, he would also go ahead and ha ha all your posts about dogs freaking out over the neighborhood fireworks.

Dogs freaking out over the neighborhood for so many syllables top. Jesus. Buddy and time are a lot of like they both to understand joke structure they both get rid of punchline to save their fucking lives although at least buddy is the sense to roll his eyes and I'm not freaking out about fireworks is it's really that fascinating certainly that impressive to you I think if I'm thinking of the right one, I think the next cat one might be the best

because it's buddy just not cooperating with him anymore. He's like, fuck off, man. Alright, yeah, let's weigh that one here. Look who decided to join me. Yes, look who was meowing earlier when I got home. Yes. Look who decided to join me. Now that I'm recording, you're not going to meow, are you? Why cares? Is that the content you wanted? You me? Awing? Is that the content? I guess I could, there's so much I can break down about Tom Myers all day.

Like, in just in that video, hold on. Let me finish this video, because I have some thoughts too. No, I'm sorry. I'm going to pause it a lot. As soon as I turn this thing off, y'all go crazy. Won't you. Won't you? Won't you bud? Just waiting for an answer.

I know. I flashbacks to Feds trying to get his cat to say cookie. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Things have crazy, come on, I'll be out here. So like right off the bat, Tom says, oh, the cat is meowing. Let me pull my phone out because that needs to be documented, which is already insane. Yes. But then the cat doesn't make any noise. So instead of Tom saying, well, that was a dud.

Let me erase it. He says, I need to show the world my failed attempt at getting my cat to make a noise. The thought process is baffling to me. Well, it's funny because I thought that like his podcast was boring and his stand-up was really boring, but it turns out he's also the least interesting person on TikTok. He's just a boring fucking dude. Now yet, also very fascinating.

There's an art to what he does, because he's not boring in the way that my life is very boring, but it's also not interesting to watch, where I could watch Tom and his cat all day. Now, a couple of things I want to point out here. One is, there's a TV in the background that's like a cathode ray tube. I don't know how old this thing is.

Oh, Jesus. But I assume that this is his bedroom because he's laying on his bed. Right. And he writes, this is the captioner's mouth. He writes, um, talking about the cat. He always stops when he rests next to where I'm working. Dude, you're in bed.

Like get a desk at pretend to write jokes. Why are you doing that for a bad, it's a bearer's egg. I like also like the image of Tom Slaven away and a scrap Guy can never take a minute to himself. Oh a rotting banana. Yeah. Yeah, rotting but they're Doritos. Yeah, yeah Yeah, the generic brand fruit primes God damn that joke is almost fucking funny. It's the greatness. That's pretty legendary actually. All right, when Gilbert passed away, this is what... This is Tom Myers anyway, right to TickTock.

Two, I mean, one comic genius paying tribute to another. It's nice to see. It sure is, yeah. So in all my various social media posts, this is where I would post a photo of myself with Gilbert Gottfried if I had ever met him and therefore if I had ever taken a photo with him. But I didn't do either of those things. So if anyone wants to go ahead and Photoshop something, have a crack at it. If anyone wants to go ahead and Photoshop something, have a crack at it. By the way, if you were offended by what I just said, then you should know Gilbert would

have laughed his ass off at that one. That's what I'm offended by. The idea that Gilbert Godfrey would laugh at anything that came out of Tom's mouth is so offensive. It's so offensive. It's so offensive to me. Hey Tom, I hope your cat dies from burning alive. And if you're offended by that, your cat would have laughed his ass off.

We left the races off. That's what I love about Tom's comedy where he doesn't get a laugh. He's like, oh, too edgy for the room. Yeah, everyone else is false. You don't like my Photoshop Gilbert next to be joke? No. As Tom famously said, they don't like puns, I don't think. Oh, it's so embarrassingly bad. Yeah, so that's a taste of it.

Unfortunately, he doesn't post enough to really make Tom a weekly segment, but I will keep my eye on him on TikTok. Oh, I have one more for us. Oh, my goodness. Oh, yeah, I have a nightcap for us here. Oh, thank God. Let's get one more TikTok from Tommy. So today is 10 years since I decided to quit drinking.

This one came out, I believe it's Chris... Think about it here we go, right? New Year's Eve, yeah, New Year's Eve, one year ago. Yeah. So this is why he's talking about sobriety. And he's got a bunch of banners up on him, talking about, keep calm and stay sober. Sober is boss.

It's a nice message for you kids going out this weekend, I would think. Right. I decided to quit drinking. And it has been absolute fucking torture. Every single one of those days. But I think with the last couple of years with the pandemic and all, the enforce a stand and the fact that I really don't like to go out

new year's eve anyway. It's actually been pretty damn great. What's the point of this one? Is he breaking about not having any friends? Cause that's what it sounds like to me. That was my interpretation. But I didn't even understand the premise where he's like, it's been absolute fucking torture.

Except for, you know, the last few years where it's actually been really great. By the way, everyone I know who enjoyed the lockdowns is a loser. And he fits into this category. He's like, this is amazing. You can't go out. I wasn't gonna go out anyway.

Because it made people like me and Tom feel like we were on par with the rest of the world Don't I think you don't do shit Mike? I know that you're like a traveling to Vegas and Going out to shows to see Brendan shop live. I know you were here. I'm doing I'm sure I really do I never stopped to Appreciate how much I have Carl you're right, it's quite a lifestyle. All right, let's switch gears because we're still on TikTok, but we have to talk about Bow Burnham. Yeah, so I was curious how interested you would be in this.

I'm a big Bow Burnham fan, so I found it baffling. Yeah. I don't know if other people will be as puzzled by this as I am. Well, there's a lot of people who are offended by Bo Burnham and they went to TikTok to say we need to cancel this ass all. Even though I believe Bo Burnham's retired from comedy. Well, he came back, he made a special called Inside last year, but yeah, he took five years off of comedy.

But not only that, he's like, I think Bo Burnham's a genius. But he's also like the wokest guy in a way that doesn't seem forced at all. Like, I would probably disagree with a lot of his opinions, but they're presented in a way that I can understand. I don't think he's being pompous about it or anything. Like, he genuinely seems like the person

that if you are woke, you would wanna prop up because he's probably the best guy to kind of portray your side of the argument. And yet these people are highly offended. I have the bit that everyone's reacting to here. So this is, okay, good. I have not seen this. This is 2016.

This is going back away. Is it yeah, people are taking a tick to tick tock now. It's played the part. Before by the way, before you left for mental health issues, so we literally had a breakdown where you had to leave comedy. That's why you have comedy because anxiety. Yes. And I could see why.

Like it's hard pleasing people sometimes. Yeah. And so I believe he has taken any videos of this standup bit down, but somebody posted it. So this is the bit in question here, and then we'll get to reaction. But white guys get a lot of shit, and it's not fair, because we've done a lot of things, you know. We invented a lot of stuff. White guys invented everything but peanut butter, I believe. That's what I was taught in school.

Everything but peanut butter. Doesn't sound right, but the American educational system having a racial bias, no way, Joseph. Guys, white people, little uncomfortable. We'll do a racial joke about the white people, so you don't feel uncomfortable. White people, we like the same foods. Favorite sandwich, peanut butter, and jelly, macaronii and our favorite chips, salt and veh. Wow! Who said it? Get the cameras on them. Your grandkids are going to see this. Nobody bigot their grandfather or grandmother

were. Every non-white person, see who said that, find a map of the show. Put the lights down their face and scrape me out. Okay, so that's a pretty good bet. It's funny, and you can tell me clearly, like on the right side of history in that bit, I would think. I would have thought so too! I would have thought getting white people to use the N word would be kind of a funny thing for people, but I'm sure. Not. No. So my pal Justin Trudeau tipped me off to this and said, do you know there's still like a campaign of people?

Like, I don't think it's a very loud group of people, but they do exist trying to get Boberning canceled. And every time he does something, they pop up and say, like, don't forget, this guy's a racist. Right. All right. So let forget, this guy's a racist. Right. All right. So let's go through these. These are pretty fun.

Bo Burnham. Again, here's your monthly reminder that Bo Burnham has built his career of humiliating black women in public shows, especially on college campuses, enjoys... Built his career, humiliating Black women. I thought I was like all those clever songs he did on YouTube. I didn't realize it was just humiliating Black women. No, it was shut down. Specifically humiliating Black women.

And I am frankly a little annoyed. I don't think 12 times a year is enough to remind us. I think it should be daily right now. I'm just not going to forget my head of the month. Come on, help me out here. Masking his misogyny with stupid jokes that aren't actual jokes. And, um, oh yeah, has done really disgusting things like trick and then laugh about his white audience saying the N word.

Yeah, he's also used the F-sler because he's a homophobic as well. And his attempt to apologize as he monetarily benefited from that song problematic was also a way to flood search engines if you google boburn and problematic to bring up his song instead of his disgusting past. Let's make cancer culture real. I know. And next, these unseasoned bigots. By the way, that's actually pretty brilliant.

I'm going to make a podcast called Carro's A Goable Idiot. Just so I can get in front of this. Yeah, that's right. I want to be ahead of the Reddit threads on this one. And my podcast Blind Fat Fuck is coming out next week. That's the crazy thing is like he made a song apologizing and then in the outtakes of that special inside, there's a bit that he took out of the special

where he goes into like a further apology. And when I saw that, I was like, I'm glad he got rid of that because that's over the top, that's too much. So in this woman's mind, he made an apology so that no one would know he was apologizing. It's pretty brilliant. Well, also, this idea, so the call to action on this video

is let's make cancel culture real. Yeah. Which is hilarious, because I have some other ideas on things that we should get going like burn the witches. I think we should probably still be adulterers do while we're at it. Oh, that's one thing I actually did want to say. The reason I thought of bringing this to the show was I thought it could be a fun idea. I don't know if it's going to be pulled off correctly. But if people send in their videos trying to get you and me canceled, like, I feel like we should just start a campaign to get this canceled before we ever do anything. That's pretty funny.

And it could be pretty brilliant. Carl said the word F-sler, and I know what he was talking about. Right. I know specifically what he meant by that. That's where you take real things that we've done, but just, you know, twist a little so that we really fucks us. I like it. That's probably a terrible idea, but we'll see what it goes. We'll see what happens to that. I like this guy who's retired.

Yeah, he put out an album because it was all the stuff that he'd already done that was just sitting there as we compiled it, but he's retired. He's not touring anymore. He's not doing any things. He's like, why are we canceling this guy? I also like the phrasing of like he tricked people into saying the N word. Yeah. As if there was someone driving home Just muttering that son of a bitch got me Never again while I allow him to to fool me

Carl, did you use the N word? I'm sorry. I saw both Burnham in 2015 and ever since that I can't stop saying it It's just the floodgates were open that was it. I'm actually I'm racist now. I'm racist right. That's what comedy does. What do you get to do? Oh well.

All right. Here's another example. I will take any opportunity to retell this story. When I was in college, Bell Barron came to my school to do a show. And I went to a school in Missouri. So I was one of very few black people in the crowd. And when he did the whole, Hey, who's the black person here? All my friends were on me.

We were like, she's right here. And he asked my name and people screamed my name. And he goes, You can just scream me on he asked my name and people screamed my name. And he goes, You can scream the N word. I always wanted to have a glass. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha it after he would make a joke, he would say, what do you think about that and say my name and laugh. And for weeks after that show, I had white dudes on campus coming up to me, going, hey, what are you doing? Bober num is a fucking shit thing. And it's so weird

that now he's regaled. It's just like, oh, whoa, white dude, fuck him. All right. So it seems like lazy crowd worked to me, which if I was a comedy club owner, I'd be upset about, but I know she's upset about that. Right. But I just, I love these being done in the tone of like Cosby's victims coming up. I will take any opportunity I get to ruin this man. Yeah, they want me silenced, but I will be silenced no more. I did some crowd work.

He pointed out that I was black. Oh, all right. I love the idea too that for weeks after that, everyone was at that show was just like, hey, you're the chick that he did that joke on. Yeah, you're the girl that Bobernam told us to commit hate crimes on, right? Well, the joke was we should 69, because it looked like a gang gang, which is all right, whatever. It's not a fun show.

I'm sure he's butchering the joke. That's what should really be on trial, is this one in delivery? Good point. That's a good point. All right, so this is interesting because now that we know that he does that crowd work thing, and we know about getting tricking white people to using the N word, this is all put together now in this next video

by this tech talker. So the way he delivered the joke to me is no longer available on YouTube. His other way of delivering it is available on YouTube. But my theory is that he uses the yin yang joke to see how many black people are in the crowd. And then after that, he determines based on how many black people are in the crowd,

whether or not he should do his salt and vinegar joke. And if you don't know the salt and vinegar joke, he tricks the crowd, tricks the crowd into saying the N word. So, I'm gonna try to, he tricks the crowd, tricks the crowd into saying the N word. So I'm gonna try to say that again and have it probably be less confusing. The Yin-Gang joke is just a method of finding out how many black people are in the crowd, so he can say something even more racist.

Yes, do I do my good to you? Can I have a tearful tonight? Ha ha, by the way, if that's true, that he's a comedic genius for doing that. All right, guys, based on the response to this question, you'll know whether or not to reach under your seats for your white hoods. I wonder what the threshold is. Like, how many black people need to be there

from to not do that bet? You just watch him, like, what is he calculating up there? It seems like he's using his finger. Well, let's see, there's 1200 people, seven of them are black, and that percentage is about 5%. Okay, all right, I could work with this. He's an evil genius.

But I love this one, it hasn't all figured out. She's like, it hasn't all figured out. She's like, see, the ying ying joke might seem harmless, but really it's just setting up the most offensive thing ever, calling out white people for using the Edward by mistake. That's the one thing where I just wanna ask people, like, so even if you're right, aren't we leaving it living in a pretty good time?

Like, if we're living a time where an ultra racist, like Bo Burnham has put on this mask of a woke guy who's apologized for things he's done in the past, if that's a virulent racist, isn't that a pretty good place to be? I think if these people do anything about history, they might agree with you on that. But it could be better, Mike.

We need to do better. I suppose that's true. And this next person is going to explain to us why that crowdwork joke was so offensive, because to you and me we both went, oh, that's not bad. It's interesting at least, but now let's find out why that's offensive. Oh, okay. Saying a slur in a non-drogatory manner doesn't make the slur any less offensive. Someone who's not gay shouldn't say the

F's are context doesn't matter with slurs. So context doesn't matter with slur. So what if I said I think the word tranny is very offensive and also this tranny is an idiot. With that point, I would point you to a video of Joe Rogan using certain words in context. Yeah, that's good point. That's a good point. Yeah. But that's also like, listen guys, I know that Bo Burnham used that word pointed at himself. He was calling himself the F word,

but I still wanna be angry. So I'm gonna make a rule. There's the rule. Why I'm angry with something that really doesn't affect me in any single way possible? This one's the best one though because now the last tiktok we have here is a fan of boburnum. Oh good. But also understands how problematic boburnum is. Oh god damn it.

I truly believe in my heart of hearts and my soul of souls that everyone gets one problematic celebrity that they get to like. Everyone just gets one. You pick one and you like them and that's it. And you can change out your one friend or the one like exchange it. I like the way she starts that. I believe in my heart of hearts and my soul of souls. That's usually for things like God or the afterlife. You don't think it's gonna be like,

I just truly believe this thing because that way no one can say otherwise to you. You're like, this is my belief. But also like I'm gonna set my morals aside. I think he is a racist. But I wanna like him. But I wanna like him. So you're allowed to like one problem,

ex-elebrity. Yeah, and I ask you, Mike, where does that celebrity is give him a get us? Is that still your allowed to like one? It's hard to figure out with him, because is he trolling us? Is it a character? I don't know.

Okay. Whatever. Mine is Bill Burnham. And I listen, I know, I've seen his early standup. I know what his career is. Both on I know the things that he used to say and believe and do. And I can't I just and I know that the probably like the even the way what she says there things he used to believe and say.

So people are not allowed to change in this context. I mean Carl, the guy was 16. He should have already had his, he should have been sitting his ways by then. You know, the political nature of inside, it was really good for publicity. Like I'm not even why and he probably knew that he's not a dumb person. But you know, I just bang her after bang her after bang her and yes, he is actively being prejudiced against me when I listen to his old music, but it's really like I'm gonna defend him. I'm not gonna like someone says it's a bad person. I mean, yeah, I know. I'm really well. No, no, that's the wrong message.

You think so? You think that's a rock message? Yeah, yeah, no, no, I know he is. I think he's the biggest asshole ever, but he makes me laugh, so. Like, I love dice, and if people say like dice is a sexist homophobic piece of shit, I would say he's the biggest asshole ever, but he makes me laugh. Like I love dice, and if people say like dice is a sexist homophobic piece of shit, I would say he's playing a character, not yeah, but so what?

Dude, I missed the days of people just liking comics for not being funny. Remember when that was the reason why we all hated Dane Cook? And that was like you have to hate people because of like whatever agenda they have. Like, well, you think you're like a redone cares But I gotta say I like this lady saying like listen

Believe me. I know he's essentially David Duke I'm kind of into it. She's like that's not a for debate. We've all decided that. That's not that we all know that All right, you ready to move on to a little segment called Carl's Facebook feed. Now what I've done here Mike is I've put together a a stinger for us. Oh my god. This is very exciting and the way I did that was through AI Okay, I made it AI stinger for us. So I put a lot of work into this guys. I hope you like it. You popped up now for it. I mean, it's better than anything I could have done. So bravo. That's not a compliment. That's not a compliment. All right, so Vinnie Paulino posted on Christmas that it's his 37th anniversary of him not getting a GI Joe aircraft carrier that he wanted, which is pretty funny.

All right. Thought that was all right. My friend Scott posted a miniature arcade-style Pac-Man game with the caption, Merry Christmas everybody got some retro gaming to do. Now if he's trying to be jealous, that's not going to have that with that. These toys, these toys have been around for a very long time since I was a kid. They're these adults hosting the gifts they got like anyone jealous. Literally that was the whole point of this post big whoa look at what I got this was a cost of State who was pretty good to me. It's a cost of 80 bucks

Watch out My friend Gary from high school posted a pick of his newborn son With the caption I'll be 65 when he graduates high school Okay, that's a bummer. And then I have my friend, Kevin, is feeling rough, which I didn't know you could still do that on Facebook, like you can put in your mood to start off. Oh, God, and the grown man did this. A grown man, yeah. Oh, no.

He writes, Christmas hasn't been the same since you left and it probably never will be. But the last two years have been better. You have to love Joette and the girls. They make me happy. They keep me on my toes. And they make me want to be a good dad like you were. I just hope you're proud of who I've become. Miss you.

Now Mike. Yes. This is why I hate Facebook. Okay. Because this guy's dead dead. It's not reading Facebook. They don't have make me think that happened. I look so I'm getting better for the doubt. This guy's in heaven. He's not reading a Facebook feed. They have better things to do there. I will say I'm a little relieved because halfway through that,

I thought you were going to tell me it was a message to his dead dog or something. because halfway through that, I thought you were gonna tell me it was a message to his dead dog or something. So at least give me a little hope. But at least it wasn't damned. I'm glad Dr. Steve joined after I bashed his music. Thanks for the body, Dr. Steve. I appreciate that. Oh, thank you, Dr. Steve. Yeah, so I just, I find things like that depressing and attention-seeking.

Oh, I'm sure he was a great, you know, I can only imagine what the comments he's hoping for. He wasn't on Facebook when he was alive, but I think now that he's dead, he checks in once in a while. Sure. I'm sure he does. All right, now speaking of Facebook, one of the guys who's killing it on that network is our friend, Harrison Young.

Yes. Now I'm scheduled to be out his show next week, so I don't want to screw this up. I was very excited to hear that. Yeah. No we're four, whatever he says on Facebook, we're all four. Oh no, I think he's hilarious. Now if people don't know Harrison Young is, he does this show called Topic Time. It's an interview style show and it's almost the real version of Between Two Furns. It's almost the real version of Between Two Furns. Yes, right. That's a great point.

It's who Zach Gelfanakis is impersonating without knowing it. Correct. Yeah. I mean, it's literally on public access. Airwaves, he's been doing it for over a decade. And it's, I would say pretty straight. Like, he's not a shock, there's nothing he says that it would be offended by

No, and there's nothing he has very basic interests like you know if you're a songwriter. He says how do you come up with your songs? You know there's not a lot of right depth to his his thought. But then on Facebook, he's a totally different guy. And this is what's so bizarre about this guy. Now, I know that you wanted to track this down, but I guess you got to be friends with him on Facebook to see it. I know, it's very disappointing.

We're not friends. Well, fortunately, people on our subreddit are. And so they repost some of these for us. Now, this is an odd one that he posted today. And it's a picture of a I would say The smallest size bad a twin bad in the corner of a room that is bear That has horrible pink wallpaper on the walls and he says so today I made my bed classy like at the Ramada Inn with the blanket pulled all the way back

Sure hope it beckons beautifully to you smiley face Jesus I think he's trying to pick up chicks with this one Mike if I'm not mistaken the bed is made Well if you saw that or settling Johns room, I guess you'd probably pick Harrison. That, when I had to use the dating apps, I didn't realize, instead of my dumb face, I should have just put a picture of a made bed.

Can you believe this, ladies? Making my bed over here. Fucking kill against. All right, let's see. Let's see another one here. So this is him, he puts these things up that are like images, we have the words in them, and it's got like crying, laughing,

emojis around it and it says, 55 years ago today, we had a shithole blizzard, and my uncle kept roughing me up. Both are gone now So I must forgive them. What? Jesus I think how you got to get to the bottom of this on the podcast the Harrison's dark past I know I have some questions to ask him for sure

I'm glad he's a forgiving man. That's good. That's good enough. And then I have one more here and this one This one's a little wild. He says, 46 years ago today, I smoked some sweet weed and played outdoor hooky in a surging snowstorm. He is, this is like fucking, I mean, I'm trying to think, like, the university, the episode of the office

when Stanley is a different guy on vacation. Yes, right That's what this is. We're on Facebook. He is a different guy Well, it gets better. It gets better because Somebody writes me to dude and he responds to that with I don't do that anymore though No more vices any more now for me except craving nice smelling snitches in my face. Though that's not really a vice, just natural. There's no way he means pussy. Yes, he must mean something else, right?

No, he's talking about how he used to smoke weed and play hooky. He's like, I'm not into that anymore. Now I just want to smell a sweet ass vagina in my face. Yeah, just look at a score some smack tonight. Anyone. That's insane. Just very casually. He's like, yeah, I mean, if there's one thing you know about Harrison Young,

it's that he likes young push. Yes. All right. It's the great. He's great. I love him. I can't wait to talk to him. Send me your questions for him, everybody.

Yeah, I've started running some down. I don't want to turn it into like me interviewing him and I think that's rude, but I do want to get some questions and certainly at some point. Although I'd like him to get to the bottom of you as well. Maybe you guys will be trolling push after this episode. Who knows? I wouldn't mind. I wouldn't mind doing that. Like the fucking good, good brothers, out on the town. It could be a good wig man for me. All right, I want to talk about some Ruth Konda stuff that has come to my attention now. There is a subreddit called Woke Kids.

Yes. And this is one tweet that was posted recently. It says, rewatch the Lord of the Rings trilogy recently and my kid casually says, this is the only scene where two women speak to each other in the whole trilogy. Now, like, I've watched the Lord of the Rings a few times, it's over 10 hours long. There's no way I can remember every exchange that takes place in this movie. This kid must be running no stout or something.

That's pretty impressive Dad, this is bullshit am I right? The the patriarchy. I mean, it's fucking ridiculous But also the Lord of the Rings trilogy is amazing. Maybe this is why all the good Star Wars movies have one thing in common There's only one chick. Oh good movies. You just have the one chick. It's great. Yeah, you don't want too many broads Yappen together in your films. That's what this kid is noticing. She flew her space to put to the ground. All right. Great. Well, we're down to the spaceship. So that sucks. She's not using her blaker. Try to fight the ad ads. Thank you, throwing for a $50 super sticker. That's very cool. Oh, thank you, sir. Very cool of you. Mammor sir. Or man.

All right. I'm like this kid. Here's another fun one that kids just say, oh, you know what? I actually have a drop for this. Don't I? Didn't you? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, tellin' when never know Did you yeah yeah yeah They have to say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, it's the worst. And actually, that's a perfect time to play that because we are gonna get a copyright strike for playing that on the show. And listen to this question

that a child asked their mother. Mom, I have a question about Santa to get name brand toys. Does he engage in copyright infringement or commit felonies? Since the elves are involved, that's also conspiracy, right? And I have to say, it's never too early

to start studying copyright law. That's one thing I wish I would have gotten when you're earlier in my life. I love these parents that have unfulfilled like comedy careers essentially, where they think of something funny and they're like, well, if my kid says it would be hilarious. Right.

Let me type this up. Yeah. Me saying this is mildly amusing about my age. I'll say I got dynamite stuff. Here's another one. And this is a longer one, but it's worth it. All right. I got pulled over on the way back home

from grabbing McDonald's with my niece. I was going 12 miles per hour over the speed limit. As the officer started walking up to my car, I rolled all my windows down. My adorable and apparently incredibly smart, seven year old niece started screaming from the back seat. It's coming out. I can't hold it any longer.

It's almost here. Now the trooper is hearing her scream this and he leans in the window and asks her, what's going on here? And she looks him dead in the face and says, I've got poop coming out of my butt. He started laughing. I was shocked and embarrassed.

He asked how far I had to go, which was about three miles home. He told me to drive safe and get him this poop poo butt home to do her business. He could not stop laughing. As soon as we pulled away, I asked, what was that about? My niece smirked and said,

I saw it on YouTube, but I didn't think it would work. I said, so you're not pooping? She said nope, but you're not in trouble either. This little girl is my hero. Oh, what a horrible story all the way around. You're not buying that one. I'm not buying it.

Even if it's true, I hate the people involved. Also, you saw what on YouTube? Someone got pulled over and had to shit. I don't understand. There's a lot of things on YouTube, Mike. I guess there's a lot going on on YouTube. If the show has taught me anything, that's certainly the case.

I just like having to shit can get you out of a lot of sticky situations. I want to see adult Carl try the next thing you get pulled over I have the poop Officer I've been drinking all day and I have to poop. I really have to shit. Yeah Officer you ever drink so much liquor that you just really have to take a shit. It's coming out. Can I just try home now please? I'm turtle heading All right, this is this is one more from this site I'm turning it over. I'm turning it over. I'm turning it over. I'm turning it over. I'm turning it over.

I'm turning it over. I'm turning it over. I'm turning it over. I'm turning it over. I'm turning it over. I'm turning it over. I'm turning it over. I'm turning it over.

I'm turning it over. I'm turning it over. I'm turning it over. I'm turning it over. I'm turning it over. I'm turning it over. I'm turning it over. I'm turning it over.

I'm turning it over. I'm turning it over. I'm turning it over. I'm turning it over. I'm turning it over. I'm turning it over. I'm turning it over. I'm turning it over. This sir has just found this letter to Santa written by your eight year old daughter. It's made me cry a lot to think that someone so young is even thinking about this. So now there's a handwritten note here, like I'm gonna recede or something. It says to Santa. All I want for Christmas is for some money. For mummy and daddy, they struggle with bills and the mortgage.

I even feel sad. Please, please Santa, can you make it work? I know it's a lot, I'm sorry, love Emmy, please. Well, and that's true, you're doing a pretty horrible job, parenting, like rock. That was the first thing I thought too. It's like, dude, that's embarrassing, you're bitching about money problems in front of your eight-year-old.

I grew up poor, but I was never like, hey, my, you need a little help with the electric bill? Yeah, right, ex-hats, I wouldn't be proud of this. How can I pull my weight? Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha advice to people. I agree. Okay. So there is a subreddit called advice. Yeah. So I see potential in this and I feel like we could go to Reddit every week to give people advice. I would like more specific subreddits

if anyone knows good ones I should go to for specific topics. But the general advice, just our slash advice, the shit that people put on there is pretty, it's amazing that you had this thought and just let me get the, let me get the message thoughts on this. I don't need to go anywhere specific. I just like to see what everyone thinks about this. It has 768,000 members. Who are these assholes who are active? Now, I understand if you're reading this and laughing to yourself because that's a work about to do.

But are there people who actually think that A, they can help these people, and then even crazier, are there people who think that you're just gonna help them? They're like, well, I'm gonna put this out to random strangers on the internet.

They're gonna steer me in the right direction. These guys will help me. All right, the fighter and the kid subreddit. What do you think of this? All right, all right, so let's listen to this one. My dad said I French kissed him a couple nights ago and I don't remember this. What do I do? And then this is the description. Last night my dad could front in me, ask me why I put my tongue in his mouth a couple nights ago, but I have no recollection of this happening.

I will admit I have been drinking a tad the past couple of days, but there has been no lapses in my memory as I was recollecting the past four days with a friend of mine and nothing is out of place. I said that I have been taking naps and never do. Okay. Isn't that the same as blacking out, taking that? All right.

He was really sick recently, so I was wondering if it might have been after a fever dream, he thought actually happened or if something happened that I'm unaware of, I have been avoiding him all day because I don't know what to do and I feel like I'm going crazy. Now Mike, what is the internet going to tell you that's going to fix this problem? Well, one word that really sticks out to me is a couple of days. She said her dad went to her a couple of days later,

which means he sat on this for 48 hours. Hey, Marlin, I want to ask you about Tuesday. What was that all about? Do I ask her about this? I mean, maybe it was just a one time thing. Maybe I shouldn't bring it up. Are you even that into me? I'm just leading me on, what's going on here?

But yeah, like the idea that someone on Reddit is gonna be like, you know, I have the exact same problem I should do. But that's, I think that's the part that really, I don't understand at all. No one can relate to this. This is the most insane thing ever. And you're like, what do you guys think I should do about this? Well, I figured my mom, I don't know, is that the same thing? She was into it, so it was okay. I give people a fun sound drop there, by the way. That's a good point.

All right, this is, um, this is one that I think that you're excited about. This person has a racist dad. Oh, they've written, my dad won't stop saying racist words. My dad won't stop saying racist words and I'm getting so far up with that. I know he's not racist to other races. Okay, I'm not, he's not racist to other races. Okay.

I mean, he's racist to other genders, but not to other races. Okay. It's just behind their back, basically. well, how does that make it okay? He always says races like behind their back. Oh, okay. He's a secret racist. That's good. Alright. He uses the word chinky and pocky. He says it instead of simply saying their race or literally their name, my characters on TV, etc. He's stuttering John. You know, you know, Anthony was pocket. I know. I don't know that one.

So he, maybe it's Paki, I don't know. I'm not familiar with that. He knows I don't like it when he says it, and I always tell him off and explain why you shouldn't say those words, and he continues to say them just to annoy me. Well, there's your answer. He uses the excuses that it's a habit

for when he was younger, and then compares it to me not cleaning my room He acts like he acts like it's completely okay. That's a great. I love this guy By the way, you know me throwing out the N word and traffic. It's just like when you don't clean your room Yeah, but we're all kind of dicks if you think about it. You're not cleaning your room You know the N word to black people be either bags He acts like it's completely okay, and won't listen to what I have to say. And it'll also call me a retard or use the word to wind me up even more.

And that seems like a joy to be around. And then it's like on the bad guy for rooting the mood. Now, this person answers their own question in here where they say he's doing this, he's just to annoy me and to widen me up And I don't know why he's doing Yeah, because you're reacting it yet. Why do you think we talk about Centauri John so much? He reacted he's an idiot I gotta say I love this guy that has like this apparently woke kid and he's just like I'm gonna ramp up the slurs I mean, it's Archie Bucker

I could think of words people to live with it's a fucking hilarious And I want to point out my dance like in corny but I don't go on sub right at bitch about it Just the main thing again is like what are people gonna tell you know what you should do is fucking kill him in a sleep people gonna tell you know what you should do is fucking kill him in a sleep I was able to cure my dad of racism follow these steps I wonder if her dad has a threat on here too that says my daughter is a killjoy How do I get her to lighten up the dumb bitch that came out of my dick is whining I knew ever since the gender reveal party, this is gonna be a problem.

That was right. I let you just a crudest guy about everything. He's like, this little slut. Can't stop him. My skank of a daughter is offended by the words I say. It's a shit counter-wats. Dear Abby All right, this is a fucking dumb wand here. All right, this is male sugar baby

Yeah, this was a wild one because it's so interesting the mindset to get into this field But have these restrictions. I mean my early 20s trying to make some money to get into this field but have these restrictions. I mean, my early 20s trying to make some money. Most sugar baby sites I go to are dedicated for female sugar babies and are sexual. Is there a sugar baby site that's also dedicated to males that are interested in females who don't really want the sexual side of things?

So what you just wanna be paid to be around them? I just want someone to give me money, Mike. Why did that question basically? Someone actually give me money. Hey, I'd like someone to give me money. I don't want to fuck them, but I'd like to do nothing. Now, it's like phrasing it like, hey, I'm looking to be a, a dominatrix, but I'm looking for someone who wants me to pay them compliments. Does that exist?

It's like, well, you're just changing what the thing is. That's not a thing. If you want someone to just give you money, you can either wash windshields at the intersection or get a handgun. Those are your two options. So I thought it was funny, the first response under here. And it says, Splendid Mama is what you are looking for, LOL. All sweet no sugar. But I feel like 99% of the purposes of having a sugar baby is the sexual aspect of it.

You can maybe find a gay Splendid daddy who just wants eye candy around, even if nothing sexual occurs. But that would be very difficult, yeah, no shit. So imagine this person is- Imagine finding some rich guy that's like, hey, I don't wanna fuck you. Yeah.

But where's something nice? Where's something nice? Yeah, I also like the fact that he's a gay guy, but he doesn't want to fuck. He's one of those prude gay guys, like, ah, don't get a boulder around me, I hate that. Hey, you're looking very handsome today, here's 40 bucks.

Here's 40 bucks, I'll be on your way. So this is is great because this person explains to them that it's like, well, these are always like sexual relationships. So this person writes, but he goes, I see. Let's say sexual is included then. Like, he quickly went back to, you know, I just need money. Yeah, that's fine. I'll compromise on the sex part. You know what? You drive a hard bar. All right. How about if I fuck them? Ha ha ha. Does that exist as a profession? Maybe the oldest one ever? Yeah, right.

Is that a thing? Yes, it is. It is a thing, I actually know it's your match of the... There's one more on here. It's very long. It's kind of lame, but you know, you send it over to me, Mike, so I assume that you have a take on this.

I'm just gonna summarize what this is, because it's paragraphs long. Yes, it's too long But yeah, I remember thinking he was interesting and now I can't remember what it was okay, so the subject is did I commit sexual assault? this person is Yes, I do find it funny that someone went to the internet and said did I rape this person yes So this person's feeling very bad about their actions. Basically what happened was he's out of the bar or a club. He's getting pretty drunk. He's talking to a girl.

She seems to be into them. They go outside. They're talking some more. And he says, hey, do you mind if I lean in for a kiss? And she says, not at all. Come on in. So then he makes out with her. And after that she goes, oh, I thought

you were just gonna kiss me on the cheek. And he goes, holy shit, I've just raped my first victim. Yes, that's literally the entire story. The internet has warped this man to the point where he's toiled over and he gets into detail about how long he struggled with this problem. Oh yeah, years. And he's like, Instagram and he's like trying to apologize to her.

And he hopes that she's not traumatized for life over it. And then he even gets into like, listen, I know I committed a rape, but can I, can I come back from this? Or am I a horrible person forever? And he's like, man, hey, get easy. He even says that they were texting each other

for days after this occurrence. It seems like she's fine with that. I think she's okay with that. Stop beating yourself up, and then he goes, he says, if I, you know, I friend her, I followed her on Instagram or whatever. If she follows back, I'm thinking about messaging her and apologizing. And it's like, how about you never bring it up? Stop bringing it up. And nobody cares. Because we're gonna assume you're crystallia and you're hiding something. Yeah, the only common underneath here, because really, I don't know what a vice you could give

this person is, I don't think it's sexual assault. You asked her for a kiss and she said yes. Yeah. I know what's the sweat from his brow. No, no, no, you're the clearest. Yeah, this one's been eating me alive. Thank you. I know she has to sweat from his brow. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no There'll be more targeted the different topics obviously. Yes. But it is amazing the broadness with people which people don't mind getting advice from. All right, let's go through some super chats real quick. Shall we?

Tom. Thank you, Tom. You're the funniest guys on YouTube. I agree with you, sir. Wow. Making a lot of good points. Now is this another way people are gonna be like, oh, they believed it.

How do you believe you fucking idiots? I don't know if you're not the fucking guys on YouTube. Fucking what do you think of Tim Dylan, you idiots? Stobby's. All right, got him. Sorry, Jesus. I'm not the one I'm trial here. All right, and then, um,

Amraki, worst episode ever. Okay, that's better. Oh, come on. We need to even think out a little bit That was by the way very early out of the show That came in say PD is it true Tommy hangs out with Casey Anthony Uh, yes, I believe so got Todd it does you mean Tommy from Emma's that would be quite a pairing. Tommy from MSCS Media.

I think he's a married alien with a baby. If I'm not mistaken, I remember instead of Chad spent the night. You hang out with his kid. People are flawed, you know, maybe he gets a little sidish. And then saying PD again with the downer, and then any idea of Brett Hattley will return to the public. I didn't know he had disappeared. Is this true?

He did die. I mean, he's been gone to the world? What's the most likely to happen to the world? What's the most likely to happen to the world? What's the most likely to happen to the world? What's the most likely to happen to the world? What's the most likely to happen to the world? What's the most likely to happen to the world? What's the most likely to happen to the world? What's the most likely to happen to the world? What's the most likely to happen to the world?

What's the most likely to happen to the world? What's the most likely to happen to the world? What's the most likely to happen to the world? What's the most likely to happen to the world? What's the most likely to happen to the world? What's the most likely to happen to the world? I forgot about that. Does he? Yeah, because it's like some show where it follows around swingers. Oh, like a reality show? Yes. I think it's like one of those. Remember on HBO, they used to have real sax. You probably don't.

I know of it. Yeah. Okay. Thank you, Mike. Thanks for making graphs feel better. I think I should, as soon as I said that, this is my 90s style. As a toddler, I remember it was on television. Yeah.

Okay. So I think it's something like that, style. As a toddler, I remember it was on television. Yeah, okay. So I think it's something like that, possibly. But yeah, I think we're gonna be. We're gonna be. We're gonna be. Yeah, I think it's gonna be on HBO in the springtime, but who knows? Who knows what's going on?

Dr. Steve, hello boys. I have a drink on me. Cheers, Dr. Steve. Cheers. Oh, you're the mess. Cheers. Cheers. And he says, with another $10, do you also bash the Christmas

present I sent you? Dr. Steve sent me a couple of Christmas presents this year. And I have a PO box now. I got to post that somewhere. People can send me more fun gifts. But he sent me two things. He sent me a doctor, Fauci, Bobble had Christmas ornament. It's up on my tree. Because he doesn't have a huge Fauci fan. But the other gift that he sent me, which is actually awesome,

I think I'm one of only three, three million in the world who owns this, is a Stuttering John Poker Chip Set. Ooh. Yeah, that's a nice item. That's pretty cool. So if I got a Sarah Sturder John's face while I'm Boker. I only know Dr. Steve from the OP Anthony show. I'm not cool enough to be getting gifts from him.

So I'm not in his Christmas mailing list. Well, but I remember when he sent like OP and Anthony wine and they looked it up on wine.com to see how much it was. And if it was worth receiving as a gift or something like that, it was pretty funny. I remember that too. Such assholes. He's been kissing ass on great broadcasters for years though. He knows where his bread is but did he send him something that he made to? Dr. C's probably still here. You can answer this question. I think he sent him something that like he had made from scratch and

they just threw it out immediately like I'm not touching this shit. Yeah. And if I remember right, that was Opie being an asshole, which is very surprising. It's not like him. Sketchy Press, hey Sketchy Press, did Shoei tell you to lay off Brent LOL here now? Shoei does not tell me what to do at my show at all. He doesn't? No, I'm in the middle.

And then he programmed. Didn't he tell you to start talking about Stuttering John Moore? No, no, he'll better get you more listeners. We don't communicate those types of things to each other. Tyler Barton, topic time copied two ferns, two ferns copied Stuttjo, lawsuit coming down the pike, Harrison, yet you're right. Wow, it's all connected. It is all connected. I mean,

you'd have to tip your cap and walk away from podcasting. If Stuttering John ever utters the words, Harrison young is ripping me off. That would be like, I did my work here is done, guys. I was never the ever to accomplish. We're good here. I take a bow. Again, throwing coal with 4099 Super Sticker, I do.

We do appreciate that. Remember, we don't have a Patreon for this show, but if you do want to support either of us fine folks, you can do that on Patreon, going to patreon.com slash Blind Mike Projects. Just blind Mike. Okay. Damn it. That's what I was gonna say. Slash Blind Mike, I'm a fan.

I'm on your Patreon. Oh, thank you, man. Yeah, and for anyone that likes why you laughing. So the the best part about my WATP appearances was sometimes we'd get people that follow the Patreon on there, which was always cool. And then inevitably a week later, I would get a message like, Hey, man, you were great on WATP. I really wanted to support you. I don't know what the fuck any of this is. I listen to why you laughing and I don't get it. So it's because we were just doing,

like we watch Quincy on there and stuff like that. But now you will get, that's like most of what it is on Patreon. That's pretty much it. That's pretty much it. Pretty much. Now we are doing two bonus episodes of why you laughing every month,

exclusive to Patreon, as well as many episodes, special reviews, things like that. So if you wanted bonus why you laughing content, it now exists starting January 1st. And the first episode we're putting out is a follow up to the Joe Maderee episode, part two. You just recorded it today? Yeah, yes.

I'm excited, I'm excited to hear that. That's gonna be fun. Yeah, the porcelain tapes is what we covered this time. And I'm going to, uh, I'm going to throw this out there because I already, um, threw my hat in the ring for this. And I'm going to make you have me on your show. Oh, yeah. You want to do the Pelican brief, the hour long PowerPoint presentation that Howard Stern gave to

a staff in 2013 that leaked. I want to be a part of that. Absolutely. We'll make it our next bonus episode. Awesome. We'll figure it out. Awesome. Now I'm looking forward to it. Dr. Steve says kids are indeed hilarious.

I hate you, I hate you as a classic, never gets old. Oh, poor Dr. Steve. That guy. Hasn't he suffered enough? That's why he's giving gifts to other people like you. He's like, I need someone to appreciate me. I appreciate Dr. Steve. And also you can support who are these podcasts.

We also have a Patreon. And I'll be recording a Patreon only show tomorrow where we're going through more Centering John's autobiography, easy for you to say, believe it's the 10th installment of that and those are some of my favorite episodes that we do. That's real, I'm so glad you've gone all the way through because I feel like that's something where,

yeah, you could sum up, you could pick an hour's worth and break it down, but I feel like you need to really digest every word of that book. Dude, I, it's so funny because producer Chris and I have been doing a lot of these episodes together. So he'll go in and pull clips and I'll pull clips. He will get three times as far through the book that I get because I pull 30 clips from like seven minutes of John reading his book. It's insane.

How much there is to talk about this stupid auto biography that he wrote that no one's ever enjoyed. It's quite a life he's lived. It's quite a life. And that bubble booing should asshole because he says like Jesus. He mentioned his bubble booing that book. He doesn't throw people to the bus. He's the hero he says like Jesus. He mentions Bob a Boo in that book. He doesn't say. Oh, he does. It's the ropey one of the bus.

He's the hero who's on a biography. I know, Shaker. This is hype urban who says, have you guys read Angry Video Game Nerds book yet? Hello, Alan. No, I didn't know he had a book. No, that sounds like a good read. That's when you're done with the Stuttering John book.

You've got a new project. It's not a bad idea. Tommy D with a $1 super sticker. Mikey Shitted says, Alien reality show who wouldn't want to watch that. Oh my God, I'm all in. Oh yeah. I am all in for anything that Tommy from MSCS Media does.

Our Kona, who has been a fan for a long time. This is a good stuff. Thank you, Carl and Mike. Thank you, our Kona. who has been a fan for a long time, this is a good stuff. Thank you, Carl and Mike. Thank you, our Kona. Oh, thank you. We appreciate that support very much. All right, guys, we'll be back again next Thursday at six o'clock.

We do this every Thursday at six o'clock. We'll be back in the new year. Happy new years, everybody. Hope you enjoy. Be safe out there. This is what you're supposed to do years, everybody. Hope you enjoy. Be safe out there. This is what you're supposed to do in your podcast. You're like, hey, guys, be safe out there.

All right. Hey, guys, we like to joke around here on podcasts. Let's cycle for real for a minute. Let's cycle crazy, guys. All right. All right. See you, Mike. It was good talking to you again, buddy.

See you, buddy. Yeah. Who are these social things? It's a bizarre thing to see. It's like, whoa. It was a good talk to you again, buddy. See you, buddy. Here. BTS