Who Knew It with Matt Stewart - 111 - Jess Perkins, Zachary Ruane, Mish Wittrup and Dave Warneke

Episode Date: October 28, 2024

Who Knew It with Matt Stewart is a comedy game show podcast hosted by Australian comedian Matt Stewart. This episode features Jess Perkins (Do Go On), Zachary Ruane (Aunty Donna), Mish Wittrup (Mish and Zach's Leguizamarama) and Dave Warneke (Do Go On, Book Cheat)!Check out Matt's stand up special: https://youtu.be/cWStRpI-BhESupport the show via http://patreon.com/dogoonpod and you can submit questions for the show!See the podcast/Matt live: https://www.mattstewartcomedy.com/Check out Matt's podcast network: https://dogoonpod.com/Theme song by Evan Munro-Smith, Logo by @muzdoodles and edited by Connor Schmidt! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, Matt here letting you know that I've got some shows coming up in Brisbane. We're doing a live Who Knew It? And I'm also doing a stand-up show, my show Ding, at the Caxton Street Festival on the 19th of October. And then I'm going to be in Geelong working on an hour of new material on the 31st of October at the brewery there. Jeez, I'm looking forward to that. Then, of course, I'm flying over with my friends Jess and Dave to do a tour of Europe for Do Go On, but at the end of that tour I'm doing three Who Knew It shows with Stand Up as well in London on the 17th of November, Leicester on the

21st of November, and Edinburgh on the 23rd of November. Cannot wait to do all of these shows. Hopefully we'll see you there. You can find tickets at mattstewartcomedy.com. matstewittcomedy.com. Acast powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend. Celine Dion. My dream? To be an international star. Could it happen again? Could Céline Dion happen again?

I'm Thomas LeBlanc, and Céline Understood is a four-part series from CBC podcasts and CBC News, where I pieced together the surprising circumstances that helped manufacture Céline Dion, the pop icon. Céline Understood, available pop icon. Celine Understood. Available wherever you get your podcasts. Acast helps creators launch, grow and monetize their podcasts everywhere. Acast.com Welcome to Who Knew at the Quiz Show where the guests write the wrong answers. I'm the titular Matt Stewart and my co-host this week is Mr. Dave Warnocky.

Dave, Dave, Dave. So good to have you here, Dave. Hello, Matt. The titular Matt Stewart. Great to you here, Dave. Hello, Matt. The titular Matt Stewart. Great to be here with you. How are you? I'm really good.

How about you? You ready to co-host this with me? I'm very excited. Now, uh- I'm nervous to keep the scores right, but we'll work that out. I know. I'm a bit worried about it, but I thought no one saw. But they did.

So, um, Dave, some of the people in the audience will have seen Bookcheat, which we did yesterday and I'm sure you'll be able to see it. I'm sure you'll be able to see it. I'm sure you'll be able to see it. I'm sure you'll be able to see it. I'm sure you'll be able to see it. I'm sure you'll be able to see it. I'm sure you'll be able to see it. I'm sure you'll be able to see it. I'm sure you'll be able to see it. I'm sure you'll be able to see it. I'm sure you'll be able to see it. But they did. So Dave, some of the people in the audience will have seen Bookcheat, which we did yesterday,

and I was a guest on your show. And I just hope you pay my show as much respect as I pay yours. I'm just going to need about seven more of these over the next hour. For the listeners at home, Dave is holding up a can of beer. A can of beer with your face on it. From Bod Rigi. Absolutely my highest honour. Oh yeah, yeah, turn the label.

I'm not sure if people at home have seen it, so there you go, there's the beautiful Who Brew It with Matt Stewart. Bod Rigi, they've done it again. Yeah, give it up for Bod Rigi. We love them! Limited run to just 12 cans. And Dave is going to drink them all tonight. In the next hour, absolutely.

Dave, do you want to introduce our guests? Yes, our first guest is also host of the Do Go On podcast, much like Matt and myself. Please put your hands together for Jess Perkins. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Jess, how are you feeling? I was also on Booktet yesterday, so I'm here to fuck around. Yeah. Yeah. That was torturous. I have had mixed reports. That really feels like it was a love or hate type performance. I'm in the hate camp. Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah so ready to have some fun.

Oh good. Alright Davy what else have we got? Our second guest this week is one half of the Mish and Zach podcast. It's Mish Big Wet Witchery! Hi. Classic Big Wet. Forgot how to talk into a microphone. Classic Big Wet. Thanks so much for joining us. You are probably, I'd say by a long stretch, the most popular guests of this show. Oh, get fucked! Very funny. I'm only popular because I draw blood. Because I cannot for anyone else on this stage except my win. I'd say probably our final guest is probably right up there with the most popular as well. Dave, do you want to introduce them? That's right. They are the other half of Mission Zack. It's Zack Iovelli himself.

Zachary Moray! Hey, hey, hey, go on. Normally in your, you're three from three right on this show, I think. Perfect record. I think at least on the last two episodes you've put the shades on during the app. Yeah, I thought I'd come on with them. I don't usually have a live audience. I said to you when I arrived here today that I feel like a boxer.

Like I play so few games of this, like a boxer would maintain their record. Yeah. And this is hard. This is a title match right now. I'm playing some very strong players and I'm afraid I'm going to lose. You're so committed as we're out the back before the Cheerful Earful podcast people were like, oh, just so you know, it gets really hot in there. So if you need to take your jackets off and we're like, yeah, yeah, took our jackets off

and Zach just stood there like this. And still has the jacket on. Unlike most people, I want to see me, I want you to see me sweat. I've got the opposite strategy in most players. Alright, so the way the show works is is Dave, why don't you tell them? That's right. In the script it says my name next to this sentence. How about I read this bit? All right, the way the show works is Matt asks a relatively obscure trivia question and our contestants have to write a convincing fake answer. Matt then reads their answers as well

as the real one and they have to guess which one is correct. All right, is everyone familiar with how to play and you'll be sent, I should have said this before, but you'll be sending your answers to Dave. Okay. So I have to unblock Dave. You've got to unblock Dave. Are we all friends on Facebook? Alright, let's start.

Alright, here's the first question. This one comes from listener Kelly Clark from Malgamugup Maylands and the question is in early modern English, what does the word Miramadon mean? What does the word Miramadon mean? In early modern English. Early modern English. It had different meanings at different times. I do not want the ancient Greek. That one I know. All right, while they're writing their answers, I'll explain how the ancient Greek. That one I know. While they're writing their answers I'll explain how the scoring works. So you get one point if your fake answer is guessed by the other contestant and another point if you correctly guess the answer. And by the way I'm also playing as the house. Oh not that committed to the boo. Yeah. I

think some people were even considering just being silent. Almost. Stay neutral. Anyway, so I've got to moan fake answers for each question with the help of the question writer. So really, I think of the houses, all of us. Mish has never messaged Dave before. No, my Facebook got hacked. Oh, that's right. So before that, had you ever messaged Dave?

No. Yeah, every night before bed, don't you remember? 99 Dave. Can I just point out that Jess has admitted to looking at your screen? Oh my god. Okay, I see how this is. Oh, you're about to get wet. Can I just say to the fans, thank you for Zaki Avali. I really like that as a nickname for two reasons.

One, it's like dark and mysterious and it evokes Machiavelli. And two, because it sounds like Zaki, so it's a little bit cute because I'm multifaceted. Yes babe. Has anyone not heard or seen this show before? Why are they calling that girl Big Wet? You wanna know? I don't know why they call it Big Wet. I don't even remember why you guys call me Big Wet. Alright, so anyway, all of us can score up to three points per round. It seems fair, but the probability actually favours me the house. And the house often wins. Not always, to be honest. Probably less than 50-50. But anyway, most of our questions coming out great patreon supporters if you want to submit a

question sign up on any level via patreon.com slash digger on pod linked in the show notes any patrons in today so good all right so the answers are in here is question number one can I just say funny that their name is so similar to Kelly Clarkson? That is funny. Yeah, that got the exact amount of laughter. I don't get it. Well, whose name? Kelly Clark, the... Oh, I wasn't listening.

The question writer. The question writer. I was just waiting to win. Jess has just put on some shades as well. Lifting to Zachia Belli's game. In early modern English, what does the word Miramidon mean? A deli meat, usually thinly sliced and served in white bread sandwiches with tomato sauce. Someone who is the source or cause of murmurings or rumors.

A slavishly, that's option two, option three, a slavishly loyal underling, a worker who unquestionably, unquestioningly obeys. Here for whatever you need tonight, my lord. Option four, a woman of nobility that refuses to marry. Option five, a sausage made out of leftovers and food scraps. Option six, an animal, usually an ox or horse used for farm labor.

Or finally, a really fucked mermaid. (*audience laughs*) Yeah, good. (*audience laughs*) Who do we, who should we go should we go with first here Dave? Maybe Jess? Yeah, closest to you and then we'll go through the rounds. How dare you?

Good system. What do you think of Jess? How fucking dare you? Are these prescription? No. You're blind. I'm gonna go, um... You had that answer locked in.

I wasn't listening to what you said. They came free with a six pack of beer. And yeah, they are prescription. Yeah, well, I'm going to go option two. Option two, someone who is the source or cause of murmurings or rumours locked in for Jess. I'm not faffing about with reasons. I was going to go with that one too. Not the fucked mermaid one?

This close. I'm so sorry, could we hear them again please? Deli meat, thinly sliced in a sandwich, tomato sauce. No, that's more Tadella. Or Strasburg. It's more than one deli meat, Mish. And it was modern English, so.

Pfft. You sound really ignorant right now, Ish. Unless I wrote it. She's not good. She is not good. Then you have the source or cause of murmurings or rumors. Savvishly loyal underling, a noble woman that refuses to marry, a sausage man of leftovers, animal used for farm labor or fuck mermaid. There's something about the sausage. There is isn't there? But not the deli meat. But what's your answer?

Oh, we do have fun. I'm going to go with the same as Jess, the murmury boy. The little boy that murmurs. Yeah, someone who's murmurs some shit. I'm going to regret this, but I'm going to go with the nobility woman one. Locking that in for Zach. I reckon that's the house though. That's a woman of nobility woman one. Locking that in for Zach. I reckon that's the house though. That's a woman of nobility that refuses to marry. Yeah. All right here's who wrote the answers. I should say Dave is also putting in an answer.

Which was a really fucked mermaid. That was me everyone thank you. Thank you. I'm here all night. I don't know what happens I guess if someone picks yours you get Thank you. I'm here all night. I don't know what happens. I guess if someone picks yours, you get a point. Yeah, that'd be awesome. Can you pick mine? Yeah. Can you let me know which one of yours and then I'll pick it? You'll know. I have a feeling it's not going to be that hard to figure out. Any animal used for farm labour?

That was Zach. Sausage made out of leftovers. That was the house. Deli meat used in leftovers. That was the house. Deli meat. Used sandwiches. That was Jess. A woman of nobility that refuses to marry. Zach went for that.

That was Mish. You just got wet. I'm sucked to the core. I'm stuffed to the core. Jess and Mish both went for source or cause of murmurings or rumors. Source of what? Source of cause. Source of cause. That was actually Kelly, aka the house.

Well done Kelly. Kelly Clarkson. Yep. Good stuff. That's your best since you've been gone. We do have fun. Dave, you're tabulating the scores, is that right? Absolutely, would you like me to read this out now? At the end of round one, currently tied on zero points, it's Jess and Zach.

Mish is on one point, but out in front on two, it's The House. What was the right answer? Can we find out what the real answer was? And the correct answer is a slavishly loyal underling, a worker who unquestionably, unquestioningly obeys. Yeah. Slavishly threw me, that's why I thought it was bullshit. Slavishly sounds like the sort of big word

someone would use in an attempt to make something sound real. Yeah. I was the same. Fuck, the real answer's playing hard real. Yeah. I was the same. Fuck the real answers playing hard now. I want to use real answers. I'll take my sunglasses off. We'll have fun. Everybody good to see you. Okay. It's just a bit of fun. We're not actually trying to win or anything. We're not actually trying to win or anything. Yeah, they're right.

Question two was submitted by four different listeners. Tyler Brown from Ellicott City in Maryland, Jim Bates from Sacketts Harbor in New York, Kayla Hodquits from Lemoyne, Maine, and Nick Dennis from Edders in Pennsylvania. And four people. All saw this and thought, I know where I can put, where I can send this. Like separately? Separately yeah. Wow. And the question is which of the following is a real species of spider?

Which of the following is a real species of spider? So you've got to write down a fake species of spider While you're writing those answers. Here's some more info on while you're writing those answers. Here's some more info on Meremedons. Dave, you up for listening to this? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm engaged man, I'm here for you. I love you. I'm listening too. Kelly writes, I learnt this word from a lockdown era episode of Guy Montgomery's Guy Mont Spelling Bee. According to Wiki, in Greek mythology the Meredons were an ancient Thessalian Greek tribe. In Homer's Iliad, the Myramidons are the soldiers commanded by Achilles. Their eponymous ancestor was Myrmidon.

Myramin. I reckon you say that different every time. Myramidon, a king of Thoides. Dave, can you, what's that word? P-H-T-H. Yeah, Stephen. You could say that one, Dave. Phtheotis? Phtheotis. Phtheotis. Who was the son of Zeus.

And apparently in one account, Zeus seduced Euromedusa. Zeus seducedomedusa. Zusseduce. Zusseduce. Zusseduce. But to seduce her, he took the form of an ant. You know what I was doing? I was waiting for the camera to be pointed at me so I could pose at it. to be pointed at me so I could pose at it. I was not listening, I was looking past this mat to that mat and then I went, I reckon he's pointed at Dave but... And then you were like, having fun. And you're like, come on in.

I'm like, I am having my own fun actually. Now that I'm aware there's stills photography, I'm just gonna, whenever I'm not doing anything, I'm just gonna do this pose. Because my, because my, I need to know that there's a stills camera because normally my face is... For anyone listening, not watching, we're doing silly faces. Have you got the answers in there Dave? I forgot that I had to do that there.

Wait a second everyone. Oh well that's okay I can tell the audience a bit more about this word. He was so enthralled by the word. I wanted to tell you about the Zeus fucking someone who dresses as an ant. Yeah no that's wild. Had you heard of them because they're from homozylia? That's something, Have you read that? I have not.

Okay. But I will now. I know there's a fucking ant. Apparently the Miramidons of Greek myth were known for their loyalty to their leaders so that in pre-industrial Europe the word Mirabedon carried many of the same connotations that robot does today. Mirabedon? Miramidon. Miramidon. I think I'm confusing it with Marabinong. We're high point Dopplaves.

Yeah. Apparently the meaning of the word has continued to evolve and later came to mean Hydruffian according to the Oxford English Dictionary. Hyde-Ruffian. Yeah, sick. It's a good drag name. Hyde-Ruffian.

Yeah, that is good, yeah. All right, question two. The answers are in. Which of the following is a real species of spider? Thunderous swarmy. Ooh. The flicking matchbox. Jesus Christ.

Zach, there's a fucking table in front of you. Is that the same phone you keep dropping? Yeah, I keep dropping my phone by accident. Or maybe not. Oh! It's a tactic. Oh. Or maybe by accident.

Option three, Amazonian ladyhead. Option four, Hot Wheels Sisyphus. Option five, little hairy spooky boy. That's not bad. That's pretty good. Option six, strong Gregory. Or option seven, a really fucked spider. That sounds good to me.

Can I hear them again? Yes, sure. Thunderous Swarmy, the flicking matchbox. Amazonian Ladyhead. Hot Wheel Sisyphus. Little Hairy Spooky Boy, Strong Gregory, or a really fucked spider. Okay. There's something about, like I know it's stupid, but there is something about Strong Gregory. stupid but there is something about Strong Gregory yeah that's really just giving me a nice little tickle yeah so I think I'm gonna go with Strong Gregory

which is oh yeah I am because apparently it's right so no we'll go with Strong Gregory thank you. Alright Strong Gregory for Mitch What do you think Zach? Can I hear the first two one more time? I'm so sorry. Thunderous Swamy, the Flicking Matchbox. See, Strong Gregory, the reason why I do like the sound of Strong Gregory is because four people wrote in with the same thing, so it has to be a funny answer. But I am just gonna go with flicking matchbox because I think I'm I think I'm going down today okay I think you're gonna go down and flick a well you mean I don't know because I just I don't I don't know I'm really I'm off my game here jokes that come from a flicking matchbox one.

Flicking matchbox. A few of them have, you know, they're bordering on salacious. All right, that's locked in for Zach. That leaves you, Jess. I'm obviously very, very tempted by a really fucked spider. Yeah, I reckon that's pretty good. Yeah, I think that's very, very good. I think if that is a joke answer, that's written by the funniest person who's ever walked to Earth. I agree.

But I think I'm going to go for Hot Wheel Sisyphus. Oh yeah. Yeah. A beautiful choice. That's good stuff. Here's the right answers. This is going to shock you. A really fucked spider was Dave Warnocky.

Oh wow. Fooled this is gonna shock you. A really fucked spider was Dave Warnocky. Oh wow. Fooled you, almost fooled you. I knew it was Dave because his first one featured something like that. I knew it was Dave because after you said it Dave went. Yeah. I mean you gotta appreciate good work. Little hairy spooky boy. That was Jess.

Good stuff, Jess. Good stuff. I'm just happy that they laughed. Yeah. That one. I'm happy. Like, that's a point for me. Usually at the live shows.

In here. Well, yes. Dave, can we get one heart point for Jess, please? One heart point? One heart point. Sure, sure. We're playing for heart points, yeah. I thought it was nice when they laughed at something I did earlier.

That's a forced heart point. Negative heart point to Zach. Oh fuck fuck fuck! Amazonian lady head, that was Zach. Yeah, I knew that. Why did you know so I know to change my strategy? I just know, I just know, I just know. I could see you picking up your phone going Oh, this will get that fucking big wet bitch.

My god. I just knew, it smelt like Zach. Okay, alright. The flicking matchbox Zach went for, that was Big Wet again. Oh! You're sopping today. Big Wet went into that great river of more episodes and has emerged stronger than I could have anticipated. Strong Gregory, Mish went for that.

That was actually Nick, AKA The House. That's a good one. And this means Jess is correct. Hot Wheel Sisyphus. I can see why four different people went, this has to be a question. So Dave, that's a point for Mish, a point for Jess and a point for the whole.

And also a heart point for Jess as well. A heart point for Jess as well. Thank you. And also a negative heart point for Zach. That's right. All right. So can we get the normal score update and then the heart point scenario?

How do you win the heart point? How does that work? So that's the thing, Zach, you're forcing it. Yeah. I cannot force it, in fact. Your new nickname's gonna be... Is that part of it? Part of it.

Part of it is just being... Thanks for laughing, everyone. I love you all. It's so sad. We'll just keep playing. We'll see what happens. So scores at the end of round number two, Matt, on zero points, but also minus a hard point, it's Zach.

On two points, we've got Mish. Jess, sorry, I should have read this the other way. Jess is on one point, but this also has a positive heart point. But out in front on three points, the house is leaving. Oh boo. Yeah, this heart's not in the boo. And I take that as a win.

That's basically a yay. That's one heart point. You and Matt. Heart point. All right, Matt has his own heart point. We'll put that in. Okay. Question number three comes from

Wales from how do you I always assume you know how to pronounce names C-E-R-I in Welsh would that be cherry or seri or? Kerry? Kerry. Kerry John Jones from Swansea. We've made his borders Welsh pancakes before. Oh my god. And we ate them and they were delicious. That's right we did. and they were delicious that's right we did them for you yeah we did a show in Bristol which is closest to well sorry I can't when was the Corn Exchange to see a clock that had an extra hand yeah like he. Would you like some pancakes? No one's ever been poisoned by a Welshman.

Surely. That's really good. That pancake bit may be worth a heart point. That's really up to you, Dave. I'll give you a heart point which cancels out your negative heart points. You're currently on zero heart points. Yes! Alright so Kerry's question is, what did TV personality, in brackets that's what Google says, close brackets, Dave Warnocky tweet on the 8th of May 2015?

On the 8th of May? So this will really favour you if you're a big Warnocky head. Yeah do you remember one of my great tweets from 2015? I remember all of them yeah. While you're writing those answers, it's 2015 Dave what was the character count then? These are the kind of things that must be floating through Big Wet's mind. What's it gotta be 120 back then do you reckon? I can't remember. It's a great question though and I'm... 140? 140. Whoa. Can confirm. Thank you.

We'll edit around that and make it sound like you knew. While they're writing their answer, I'll let the audience know a bit more about this spider. According to Tyler, the genus name is derived from the toy car's hot wheels. Oh! Because apparently the pedipalp structure resembles a hot wheels track. Kayla adds, the species is named for Sisyphus, a king from Greek mythology who is punished by the gods for cheating death. For this the gods sentenced him to an eternity of rolling a boulder up a hill only for it to roll back down. The cyclical nature of his punishment reminded the authors of the circular

copulatory tube of the spider. The authors? I guess the authors of the circular copulatory tube of the spider. The authors, I guess the authors of the scientific thing that named it. This was discovered this year. It's a fresh spider. This one only dropped months ago. Do you know what would have been really fucked is if it was discovered like 50 years ago before Hot Wheels? Oh my Lord.

We named them Hot Wheels because they're so small, they almost resemble that spider. The answer to question number three, what did TV personality Dave Warnocky tweet on the 8th of May, 2015? Dreamt I was in the shower and the water was going in reverse. Being sucked out of me back into the shower head.

Whoa. That's option one. That would make you go, whoa. That is a very 2015 tweet as well. We were figuring it out. Option two. That's a whole lot of pie. Hashtag pies.

Hashtag C31. Hashtag pies, hashtag C31, hashtag channel 31. Trying to get that channel 31 bump. You know, everyone was searching channel 31 at the time. That was uncharacteristically bitchy and I loved it. Option three, my mum just cut up my sausages during a family meal. I'm an adult now mum, what if I wanted to choke? I'm giving away nothing, I'm giving away nothing.

This is hard because we're playing against two people that know Dave very very well. Because already I've heard three tweets that, sorry, you could have done. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Just heard my neighbor walking his dog say one more sniff and that's it Haha wouldn't want this dog to go over his sniff limit I can't tell you how much I'm gonna go and delete every tweet I do I just looked it up. I joined in 2011. I'm so worried that I thought no one's ever gonna go back and read these Fuck you can search for offensive terms. You can't search for bad jokes Then you've got I'm really loving so many podcasts right now. That's pretty good. That's pretty good. I mean... That is so good. That is so 2015 Dave. To be fair, when be fair, when Matt breaks that heart, it's usually something Dave has written.

So that could very well be a legit one. So good. It's so funny hearing what people think of you via what you were between them. Option six. Dave Warnocky more like Dave Hornocky See me in a pornocky Don't forget the popcorn a key I live in Hawthorn a key come around you won't yorn-a-key. Oh man, I am mortified right now. Or finally, in a quote attributed to Jess Perkins,

Hi everyone, it's Dave Warnocky here, Australia's best comedian and definitely not a virgin. Just going on the record that I vowed to never be anyone's sidekick. I'm the host for the most, not some other guy's little buddy who keeps score or some dumb shit like that. That was nine years ago. Yeah. You have changed. Yeah. I was cool back then. All right, Zach, it's your crack. Oh, god. I love that you're like, oh, how dare you think that of me. But the fact that it's hard to find the real me. What an indictment.

Oh, my god. No, 2015, it was a hard time of figuring it out. Well, just imagine, is Kerry at home going through all the tweets to try and find the fucked one? Scrolling back to 2015. Almost definitely I would say, yeah. Seasons assist. Don't do that to me please. Just out of interest, Dave, do you remember which one it is?

I do not remember, right? Any of that. And none of that rings a bell at all. Wow. And one of them you wrote like five minutes ago. Um, I think I'm going to go with one of the food ones. Whole lot of pie. Hashtag pie.

Can you go through them again? Go through them quick. Yeah, that could do a little like something. The one we dreamt the shower skinned backwards. That's a whole lot of pie. Hashtag 31. C31. That's so funny.

Mum just cut up my sausages during a family meal. I'm an adult now. Just heard my neighbour say, walking his dog, say one more sniff and that's it. I love this. I'm really loving so many podcasts right now. That's just good writing. Dave Warnocky more like Dave Hornocky etc. That's so funny.

Or I'll never be anyone's little sidekick. Okay. I'm going to go with the sausage one. Sausage? Yeah. Locking in the sausage for Dave. What do you think? What about the dog walking one?

Because I also thought it was the sausage one. But the dog walking, read the dog walking one again. The neighbor walking. I just heard my neighbor walking his dog say, one more sniff and that's it. Ha ha, wouldn't want this dog to go over his sniff limit. What the fuck? I would choose that one. You wouldn't want the dog to go over his sniff limit.

I'd be worried about that one. You wouldn't want the dog to go under the sniff limit. I'd be worried about that dog. Yeah, I think it might be the C31. Because that's very funny, but I'm choosing the name of Walk of the Dog. The sniff limit. This is probably the best question that I've ever been asked on this show. It's really good. It's so funny. There's something in the water with the shower one,

but I also was pretty convinced it's the sausage. So I think I might go sausage as well. All right. Here's the answer. That's so funny. The one with the shower going backwards, that was the house. That's pretty good.

That's a whole lot of pie. Hashtag pie is hashtag C31. That was Zach. Yeah. That was Zach. that's a whole lot of pie hashtag pause hashtag see 31 that was that's very good thank you the one where he played that is not a virgin or anyone's sidekick, that was Jess Perkins. Can I come clean on something? I also accidentally copied and pasted Jess Perkins' name at the start of it. So Matt said, this quote's attributed to Jess Perkins, I just copied your name from Facebook. That was a weird choice.

But that was no way for me to ask you without it being, Jess is yours? Is this yours? I mostly wrote it just to watch Dave read it. So you guys were chatting and I was doing this. I don't know if you noticed Jess but I sad reacted to it. It did different! Good. It did different! It did different! Dave Hornickey, more like Dave Hornickey. That was Dave. Yeah.

At the time, you'd never know that, but in 2015 I was living in Hawthornickey, so... Yeah. That's real, right? I did know that. My favourite, I'm really loving so many podcasts right now. That was Mish. That's so good. Was there typo on purpose? Oh my God, so like which one?

See, so many podcasts. Yeah, yes, yes, yes. I think that, yeah, that's fantastic. That's good stuff. So, Mish and Zach both went for the sausages. That was written by Kerry John. Oh. But meeting Jess is once again correct.

Sniff limit. Sniff limit. Sniff limit. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. I don't know how many we have known about. Do we know how many likes, if any, that received? I could not figure out how to find it. I like Google it I could not find it do you definitely wrote it though imagine if Kerry John has just come up with it all been played attribute it to me I got any ahead pretty well with the the shower going backwards I thought Kerry got right in your head with that chopped up the sausages. You definitely got in my head because I remember once tweeting about that era.

Oh, I just I just shaved my I put the shaver cartridge in upside down and I ended up putting more hair on my face than taking it off. I really got in your head. So that is the kind of thing I wrote about 10 years ago. But can we please acknowledge that Zach really got in your head as well with I love pies hashtag C31. Because as he pointed out, you love pies. And particularly in that era, all of us were doing a lot of Channel 31 stuff.

I wrote I love pies because he loves pies. And then I thought, that's not enough. And then I wrote hashtag pies. And I thought, that's not enough. And then I wrote hashtag pies. I'm like, still not enough. And I'm like, huh. He was also on channel 31. That's good stuff. It's nice to know when your old mates really know you. Yeah.

Pies on 31, whatever. Act, at all, 31. Dave, that's two points for the house, one point for Jess. As we go on to question number four, we'll get a score check in a bit. But this one's from Lewis Gamel from Glasgow. Glasgow. And the question is, which of these

was a real candidate that stood in the recent UK general election? So it's just their name, it's a, you know. The recent UK. Yeah, just a politician with a quirky or different name. Something that might have stood out to Lewis Gamel of Glasgow. While you're writing your answers,

here's a little more info about Dave Warnocky. (*audience laughs*) Looking forward to this. According to Kerry John Jones, Dave Warnocky is known for Franket, Frank, Franket, what does that say? Franketville? Franketville.

2017. That was a Sammy Peterson Channel 31 show. (*audience laughs*) I fully know what that is but I still can't, my mouth could not make that sound. Also Under the Milky Way 2016, Dave where was that Ed? That was also on that. Hashtag Channel 31. Who else was also in that? I believe both of you.

Were you in the Under the Milky Way on Channel 31? No, but we did the what was the tonight show? About tonight. Yeah, about tonight. The other thing that Kerry John said is his voice has a total airtime of one month two weeks from podcasting alone. What? Do you know that Dave? That does sound like he's stalking you actually. Can you say it again? His voice has a total airtime of one month and two weeks from podcasting alone. That's not enough. It genuinely doesn't feel like enough. But maybe if it's on average, like if it's just talking. I don't understand what you just said. Yeah, I don't know if I fully do either. A total airtime. Like if you cut out only the talking from Dave and you played it 24-7, it would take a month

to play through the whole thing. I was thinking the full podcast, but you're not talking the whole time on those. I'm talking most of the time. Matt's talking the whole time. Even we're on, he's absolutely over the top. And five minutes later he goes, sorry, don't interrupt you there, sorry about that.

All right, while you're still writing your answer, let's go for a quick break. Acast powers the world's best podcast. Here's a show that we recommend. Céline Dion. My dream to be international star. Could it happen again? Could Celine Dion happen again? I'm Thomas LeBlanc and Celine Understood is a four-part series from CBC Podcasts and CBC News,

where I pieced together the surprising circumstances that helped manufacture Celine Dion, the pop icon. Celine Understood. Available wherever you get your podcasts. their podcasts everywhere. Acast.com. All right, we're back. He does that even when you're in the studio episode and sometimes the guests have never been on the show before and I've seen them look around like, what the fuck? And then he just keeps talking. So the answer for question number four.

Which of these is a real candidate that stood in the recent UK general election? Thomas Fingerbottom. Good stuff. That's very good stuff. Humphrey Humperdink. Sean Van Horn. Theodore Thuffield Thessington III, Matthew McConaughey,

Count Binface, or Sir Doggius Snifflimit. Very good. So you've got seven pretty good options there. We're back to you Jess. I've never heard a clap with the tone of, yes, very good. Yeah. Very good. A real Theodore Thufield Sendington in the third. That's how he'd clap.

Can we have him again, please? Sure can. Thomas Fingerbottom, Humphrey Humperdinck, Sean Van Horn, Theodore Suffield Sendenkneet in the third, Matthew McConaughey, Count Binface, Sir Doggius Snifflimit. I'm going Fingerbottom. Yeah. And what's your answer? Yay!

Yay! I'm very torn between Matthew and Sean. Oh yeah, Matthew McConaughey and Sean Van Horn. Yeah. Matthew McConaughey. Well no, it wouldn't surprise me if it was like that's their name, but they're not. Yeah, it's not. It's not.

Oh right, oh right, oh right. Yeah, but I think it's also, I think, I do think it's a bit fuffish. So I'm thinking it might be Sean Van Horn, but then it could be Humphrey. True. They have Humphrey's over there. They love a Humphrey. Yeah. Don't get them over this side.

What's Humphrey's last name? Humperdink. Humphrey Humperdink. Um, and you probably, you can't tell, but looking at it written down, Humphrey, the first four letters are hump I'm gonna go with Humphrey. Did that sell you the last thing I said? No, it's that I think that Zach did that deliberately to make me to make me think that his is Sean Do you know what I mean? Because he knows that I would think that he was- You think mine is Sean? Yeah. Do you? Yeah.

You sure? No. Why do you think mine is Sean? Because I think, so I thought yours was Humphrey, but then you just did that. And I think you did that because you're like, she's going to know that I'm playing and mine's actually Sean.

I'm happy to change the order and lock in my answer. Okay. Yeah, good. And then you can change your answer if you want. Yeah, sure. I'm gonna lock in Sean. Yeah. And then you can change your answer if you want. Yeah, sure. I'm gonna lock in Sean. Oh. Whoa. That is Zaki-a-bellion. Why would I do that? I have goosebumps. Why would I give you the chance to change?

Oh. Yeah, but you could have also just locked in your own because you're being a little piss head. I can't. You're not allowed to. Not allowed to. Oh, you can't can't, you're not allowed to change. Oh, you can't. Yeah, you're not allowed to lock in your own. Otherwise, I would just be choosing mine the whole time. I think yours is one of the three you listed just then. I feel pretty confident about that. Now you feel pretty confident that mine is one of them?

Yeah. Give her the list again. Thomas Fingerbottom, Humphrey Humpadink, Sean Van Horn, Theodore Thuffield Thensington III, Matthew McConaughey, Count Binface, Sir Doggius Snifflimit. Oh fucking hell. But if you look in the same answer as him. No I think that you did Matthew. Because I think that you would think that that would fuck me. So I'm going Sean. Did you hear that? Really going Sean? But is that two for Sean? That's two for Sean. You're so ahead you may as well go for something else.

Sean? That's how I feel every time I'm in a studio with him. You're so ahead, you may as well go for something else. No, but I was pretty certain it was Sean. Yeah, me too. Can I change my answer? Oh, no, you locked in, sir, I'm afraid. Here's who wrote the answer, Sir Doggiest Sniff Limit. That was Dave. Thank you. Wow. You almost went for Humphrey Humperdinck and you did right to change that was Lewis aka the house. Well done to the house.

Jess went for Thomas Fingerbottom. That was Zack. It's funny because of Fingerbottom. And I think Thomas was the perfect name, he didn't overreach. Yeah that was, I was playing around with, I think I did play around with a Humphrey at one point and I thought no, pull it back Zach. Theodore Thuffield, the one I can't say I wrote, that's the house. Did not think that through. Then Sean Van Horn, Zach Admish went for that.

That was Jess. Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! I didn't even think to look at you once in the last 40 minutes. Oh!

What a twist! What a twist! What a twist! Oh! And can I just say, absolutely sucked the fuck in. That was sick. Are you a Twin Peaks fan? Nah. Oh, alright, alright.

It came up yesterday, didn't it? Yeah. Yeah. And today, laugh. Was there a Do Go On episode? There was a Do Go On. We had a Sean Van Horn. Yeah, he's a journalist who,

no, he's a, yeah, journalist who's written about the Amityville horror. Oh. I was thinking of coming and watching some stuff yesterday, so I'm really regretting that now. That was genius, James. Matthew McConaughey, that was mesh. I knew that was you, I knew that was you.

That was real big wet stuff there, just saying, oh, it's between McConaughey and, no, but that can't be. I saw that. The biggest big wet stuff. It was between McConaughey and nobody that can't Big big wet move was going to him. I think you wrote that Oh, then I was hoping he would be like, can I change it? I want to change it to Matthew after I said that and I'd locked in So I was very confident it wasn't Matthew McConaughey and I also knew Mish would know that it wasn't Matthew McConaughey So then when Mish started going I reckon it's Matthew McConaughey. I was like, well that it wasn't Matthew McConaughey. So then when Mish started going, I reckon it's Matthew McConaughey,

I was like, well, clearly Mish wrote Matthew McConaughey. But I will say when you said I think you wrote Matthew McConaughey, I did think, well, maybe she didn't write Matthew McConaughey. LAUGHTER I'm doing very poorly now, so I might shift to funny soon. LAUGHTER How many more rounds are there? Two more rounds. Two more rounds.

You say you didn't make the shift before you wrote finger bottom? No, that was quite strategic. So that means the correct answer is Count Binface. You are kidding me. Yeah. It's like he changed it out. He's insane.

Yeah, cool. Yeah, right. No, I figured that out actually with the bin on the head. I put two and two together. So Dave, two points for Jess, one point for Zach in that round. After I ask this question, maybe we can get a score update, but the question number five comes from Nikol Ruulink from Amersfoort in the Netherlands. And this question is Amersfoort related.

Love that. Love a local question. The question is why is Dutch city Amersfoort nicknamed Boulder City? Why is the Dutch city of Amersfoort nicknamed Boulder City? Dave, what's the score update there? Let's have a look at the scores Matt. On one point it's Zach, also zero heart points, I gotta say that. Then on two points also on zero heart points but two regular points is Mish. In second place on four points and one regular heart point it's Jess Perkins.

But out in front on zero heart points but five regular points it's the house. Does Jess have a name? Yeah does Jess have a? She's Bop. Jess. Oh yeah. She's Bop on Dougal on I don't know if that transfers across to this or not. No, no, no we're gonna get a name for you. Count Binface, you think? Something sneaky. Mm-hmm. Um, Matt, can you read the question again for me, please? Sure. Why is Dutch city Amersfoort nicknamed Boulder City? Here's some more info on Count Binface. According to Lewis, it's a satirical character

played by a British comedian, Jonathan David Harvey, a bit disappointing, but, who had also played a similar character, Lord Buckethead, but Buckethead was sued and he had to change the name. Both Binface and Buckethead have run against the incumbent Prime Minister in multiple elections and sport a black cloak and bin-like helmet. Binface claims to be an alien from the planet Sigma 9, that's in Roman numerals or that's a get I X yep and in 2024 some of his policies included bad banning loud snacks from cinemas and theaters tying MPs wages to that of nurses for a hundred years and moving the hand dryer in the gents at the Crown and Treaty

Uxbridge to a more sensible location. That's a bit of fun. That's the most British satire I've ever heard. Too many loud snacks and actually quite seriously, they're paying our PMs too much. All right, the answers are in for the penultimate question. Oh, get those studies back on because I'm still trying to win it. Remember, triple points in the final round too, Zachary. Triple points in the final round! Whoa, triple heart points as well guys.

Oh, that was such a beautiful, oh. Question number five. Why is Dutch City Amersfoort nicknamed Boulder City? Option one. The Boulder family were well known in the town for their philanthropic work and for saving an entire family and their pets from a house fire. The town affectionately refers to itself now as Boulder City. That's option one.

Option two, a man bet his neighbor in 1661 he could get the townspeople to pull a boulder from six Ks away back to their city by offering them beer and pretzels. That's option two. Option three. A 1994 health survey found that the residents of Amersfoort had much higher than average testicles. Higher? Much higher? Much higher?

Higher than average testicle? Round belly button. You got a six pack and then a two pack right there. They're all like that damn Baldur's City. They say Baldur's City, that's why they got the high testicles. I've been down that way, never seen so many testicles. So high, I'm on a line. Option four, the famous Amherstford Baldurs sit at the entrance to the city. We've got one more bit.

Oh, you won't miss it, it's the one with all the people with high testicles. Carry on. Option five, the first mayor of Amersfoort, Magnus Boulder, was mayor for 27 years before retiring. He went on to become a well-known adult entertainer. Doesn't say anything about the height of his balls. You need like a good hang on your testes to be an adult. Oh yeah. Option six, lots of boulders. Jess literally just went... It wasn't the humour, that was real.

Just went, oh yuck. So you might have missed that. Option six is a short one, Just lots of boulders. Okay, okay. Okay. Or option... That feels the most logical. Or option seven.

The town's first mayor tripped over a small rock and was mocked in the local media. He claimed that it was in fact a boulder and that anyone could have fallen over. Hashtag channel 31. All right, so Mish, what do you reckon? Can you read, can you give me a little update? You're not update, you know, a little summary. Thank you fucking hell. So the philanthropic boulder family named after them, saved from a house fire one.

Oh yeah, that sounds pretty good. The bet about moving a boulder and the prize being beer and skittles in 1661. That sounds pretty good too actually. The one about higher than average testicles. That sounds pretty good. Yeah, that sounds pretty good too. The famous Amherstford boulders sit at the entrance of the city. That's what I reckon it is.

The first mayor, Magnus Bould Boulder, was mayor for 27 years. Hashtag channel 31. Went on to become an adult entertainer. I'm just saying it. Got lots of boulders, or you've got hashtag 31. Oh, this one's hard. Like a boulder. I got more than I've ever laughed than it deserves, so thank you.

Thank you. Wait, say it again, Mish. This one's harder. Say this one's harder. This one's harder. But what about your answer? Say it again. Say it again.

Say it again. This one's harder. Like a boulder. All right. I think it could be the s- it could be this it could be this one's hard like a boulder Would I stop trying? I'm gonna go with the Second one second one Which was? The bet yeah, what about in from Mish all right Zach. What do you think?

Can I change it I've unlocked in Well, I think you know actually I'm confident that was a roller coaster what what are the rules I don't know no no that's fine you are diabolical I don't know I'm not trying to win anymore. I'm just doing it just to fuck with people. I will go with... I do love that one. What was that? That one? Yeah. I do love that one. But I will go with... I will go with the boulders at the entrance of the city. Boulders at the entrance. All right, for Zach. What do you think, Bob? I've forgotten most of them,

but I won't make you read them again. Could I just read them off your screen just real quick and just summarize them for myself just quickly? No, because I have marked who's written each. No, but I won't look at that. I'll just... And I'm diabolical. That was very cheeky.

I have genuinely forgotten them so I'm gonna go for the your favorite my favorite probably lots of boulders yeah no the mayor the mayor called the city so maybe it is lots of boulders. Wait, was it the mayor who became... Adult entertainer? Yeah, that one. All right. Locked in. Mayor who became adult entertainer.

Here's the road, the answers. Hashtag 31. That was Dave Warnocky. Thanks everyone. Check it out. It's a great community channel. Lots of boulders. That was Zach Avelli himself.

He's gone funny. He's gone funny. He's gone funny. I'm fine with it. I wasn't even trying to win. The philanthropic family who saved pets from a house fire. That was Jess Perkins. Yeah.

Really, I would buy that family. And they should have a city named after him. The one about higher than average testicles, I wrote that. Clearly meant larger. Larger, yeah. But we had fun with it. Yeah, yeah. We do have fun.

Yeah, we have fun. The famous boulders that sit at the entrance to the city, Zach went for that. That was also me. The house, I'm afraid. Oh, sucked. Put the fuck in. Jess went for Magnus Boulder, the adult entertaining mayor. That was Mish, big wet. Meaning? As soon as I picked it, your face was like, I was like, Mish. That was Mish.

That means Mish also got it correct. It was the Boulder bet for pretzels. Yes. Oh, wow. Oh, still. I feel better now. I've also got it correct. It was the bolder bet for pretzels. Yes. Oh wow. Oh, still, I feel better now. I've still got it. You still got it.

So Dave, did you get that? That's two points for Mish, one point for the Hoos. Oh my goodness, Matt. These scores have really tightened up at the top. All right, we're going to the final round, triple points. I have no idea when we started. Are we almost time to finish? Oh yeah.

10 minutes. Oh, well, finest question. I think I saved that actually. And also the final question is question number six. Dave, when they're writing, maybe give us a score update. This comes from David Malofsky from London. And his question is, what is the plot to the 1993 film Surf Ninjas?

So yeah, just a paragraph, you know, a paragraph for this one, something like that. Dave, you want to give us the score update? Oh my goodness, Matt, it is so, so close tonight. Obviously, triple points up for grabs. So it is anyone's game here, but on one point we've got Zaki Abelli. Then tied on two points, oh sorry, tied on four points, it's Big Wet and Bop. But out in front currently on six points, it is The House.

Truly anyone's gamer, so if someone sweeps the final round they get nine points. If anyone does that they win. So I shouldn't do this I'm just going to the shops that's really up to you but I might try while they're continuing to write their answers this is about Boulder City according to nickel and Nicole the the question writer who lives in Boulder City. What a thrill. They, yeah. Do you reckon their testicles are pretty high right now? They're sweating right now, how did he know?

According to Nickle, the Boulder, the bet was made about, weighs over 7,000 kilograms and was washed down to the Netherlands from Scandinavia at the end of the Ice Age. At first the townspeople were happy about their achievement. So they basically, like these two farmers I think had a bet. One said, I saw a boulder on the way into town, 6k is out, I reckon I can get the townspeople to bring it in. And the other one's like, no way. And he goes, I reckon I can.

And he did it by saying, if you bring it in, get you some beer and Skittles. And they said, fuck yeah. Pretzels relatively confident skittles hadn't quite been invented in the 1600s but anyways that worked and now and so the Balder gets in the city but apparently they were stoked and then soon became the laughing stock around the country for being part of the bet and being part of such a folly, in shame they buried the boulder under the... we need so much effort, this is a boulder! So they buried the boulder, so it actually was one of the world's lowest testicles in a way, but they buried the boulder under a

market square in the 1670s and it stayed there until 1903 when it was dug up and proudly displayed In the following years the city embraced the history and being called Boulder pullers and they started holding a festival to celebrate It even built up its own rock collection Pieces of stone have been gifted to the city from countries and businesses all around the world What a beautiful story. I think the audience has been quite quiet there because they're touched. Yeah, that's lovely.

I think they're pondering that. What a beautiful story. Boulder City, huh? How about it? Alright, the answers are in and we are running out of time, so I will get stuck into them. Here is the final question. What is the plot synopsis of 1993 film Surf Ninjas? I will just say I feel really good about my answer. Fantastic. All right, option one. A group of corrupt politicians hatch a plan to have one of them run for president

in order to steal all of the gold from Fort Knox. The only person that can stop them is a private eye and former boxer, John McGee, who realizes something is afoot when he gets an anonymous tip-off. The eponymous... do you laugh because I was right or wrong? The eponymous surf ninjas only feature in one scene performing at a fundraising event early in the film. That's option one. That's pretty good. That's a good opener though. That's good stuff.

Option two. In the 12th century Japan, Hakumi Nakasan has become the most respected ninja in the Osaka clan. When his home village is attacked by a ruthless ronin, Hakumi vows revenge. When he discovers that the ronin has fled to one of the small islands in the Japanese archipelago, he realises there is only one way for him and his fellow ninjas to reach

him undetected. Surfing. That's pretty good. That's option 2, option 3. Childhood friends Phineas and Damon discover a dark portal in a haunted house while hiding from the town bully. When they realise that this portal is controlled by the movement of the ocean, they will stop at nothing to change the tides of time. Will Phineas and Damon ever make it out of the portal or will they be creatures of the deep for the rest of eternity? That's option three.

A lot of perplexed faces in the audience too. Option four. Johnny and Adam, two brothers who are avid surfers, learn that they are actually the sons of the king of the island nation of Paterson. They are whisked away by a mysterious ninja who takes them on a magical martial arts adventure to save their homeland from the cyborg dictator, Colonel Chi. Cyborg. Colonel Chi. Sideboard. That's a cyborg on a bouncy castle. Sideboard. You put too many springs in me. Option 5, herd of ninjas? Yeah? Well what if I told you... It's the most animated of MSC numas. This is 100% one that he wrote and he's really excited to tell us. Well what if I told you these ones surf? That's right, surf's up dudes.

Grab your katanas and wax on wax off your surfboards. And get ready to hang tan cowabunga and konitua dudes. Wow. That's really good. That's so full on. Option 6. A group of penguins who love to surf are hanging out on a beach one afternoon when they are set upon by the evil ninja chimps. The chimps... The...ps take their surfboards and the penguins have to learn how to out-ninja the

chimps. Can they win back their surfboards and learn some new skills along the way? Or finally, avid mountaineer Aaron Ralston goes hiking at Utah's Canyonlands National Park without telling anyone. After getting his arm trapped under a boulder. Yes, very good. For 127 hours he is able to escape by cutting off his own arm. To celebrate his freedom he goes surfing. He is also a ninja.

Alright, Zach, your crack here. Final question. I have never had less of an idea of what the answer could be. Yeah. For all I know, it is the 120-70. Can you give us little summaries? So you've got the corrupt politicians running for president to steal the gold.

You've got the 12th century Japanese powerful ninja who ends up surfing. You've got the childhood friends Phineas and Damon who find a dark portal and have to try and change the tides of time. You got Johnny and Adam, the two brothers avid surfers but are also the kings or the sons of the king of Patisan and they're whisked away by a mysterious ninja. Is this helping?

No, I stopped listening. Then you've got cowabunga and canichua dudes you got penguins versus chimps and you've got 127 hours so I'm gonna say I'm tossing up between two then Mish will think one of them is mine. But I am tossing up between two and I will let you in on this. I'm tossing up between the Time Portal one because that just sounds so fucked I could just see how that could be. The real 90s. Yeah yeah yeah and the Brothers one but is the bad guy in the brothers one the cyborg? That was fully the one I was going for until the cyborg. Cyborg dictator Colonel Chi.

Oh man, I'm going to watch this film I think. I'm going to go with the Cyborg Brothers one. Locked in for Zacky. I think I've shamed my family with how poorly I've done in this event and I can't wait to come back and reclaim my title. What do you think Jess? I, okay, because I think it might be that I can't see. Even when I do the joke of I cannot see it. I think it might be the Time Portal one, but I also want to choose Cowabunga Dudes because I just think that's really funny.

Go with the one you believe probably. Oh okay. Oh no, up to you. Hey look, up to you. I'm gonna go the time portal one. All right, locking that in for Jess, leaving just me. Is that face because you wanted to go for that or because you wrote it? No, no, no. It's because, sorry, I wanted to go for cyborg but now I feel if I go for cyborg I'm then block it. Like I don't want anyone to think I'm trying to block Zach. So I'm thinking I'm going to. No, do you?

I mean, you're talking about Zachia Valley. Yeah. Block away. No, I don't deserve that name. I'm going to be stripped of that title after this and then I have to reclaim it. Because the thing is, what's remarkable about this question, what's really, truly beautiful about this is I have absolutely no idea what any one of you wrote except for 128 days. Would it be disappointing if I went for Cyborg?

I'll ask the audience. Would it be disappointing? Yes. She's asking if you want her to pick the one she thinks is right. Or the one that he probably wrote. Yeah, I'll pick the one Zach probably wrote. Which one do you think I wrote? Maybe the politician one.

I'm gonna go with the politician one. Politician one? You don't have to. You don't have to. Maybe I wrote the cyborg one. I'm just having a good time. You don't have to. Maybe I wrote the cyborg one. You don't? Ohhhhh. I'm just having a good time. I'm not trying to win this one.

I've gone funny. You don't have to pick the politician one. But I can't pick the cyborg one. I'm going to pick the politician one. Alright, locked in. We really should wrap it up. Here's who wrote the answers although I'm fucking loving this. I feel like I'm in the audience just loving every moment of it.

All right here's who wrote the answers. 127 hours which I like how you turned it to 128 days. Now that's brutal. Not only is his arm, his his arm pressed in by a rock. But he's being chased by zombies. The Penguins and the Chimps. I wish it was real but that was a Jess Perkins original. Ninja Chimps. Cowabunga and Konnichiwa Dudes was the house.

That was so funny. The house also wrote, in particular David, the question writer, he wrote the 12th century Japan Osaka clan man who took up surfing. Jess you went for the time portal that was Mish. Oh well done. So really that maneuvering at the end was really important for the result here. Yeah. So what have we got? Mish went for the politicians, which he thought might've been Zach and it was, and Zach got the correct answer. Oh my God! Oh my God!

Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God! We'll find out. So that means so two times three and one times three. Absolutely, we are left and right.

While you're counting up the scores, let me say, critics did not like us. If you came from behind, I will throw myself off this platform. I don't even want that. Critics didn't love it, 23% on Rotten Tomatoes, but the audience quite liked it. I told you you didn't have to pick mine, Mitch.

Thank you. That was, oh man. Because I was the only one who really knew what was going on there. She wanted to lock in the right one. No, it's because once I knew Jess had locked mine in, I was going to, I just wanted to fuck him by saying, you've picked mine. And then so it was more like a game, but then I didn't realise it was possible for him to

get double by the, anyway, whatever. So here's a 68% audience review. There's a five star audience review by Mike J on Rotten Tomatoes. Saw this movie when I was a kid and I've loved it ever since. Yes, the jokes are corny, but it's a kids movie and come on, it was the 90s. A lot better acting than movies these days. That's a positive review. And then the negative one star review from an actual critic comes from Desmond Ryan, and it reads, What do ninjas and surfers have to do with each other? You've got me, and I heroically sat through all of surf ninjas. All right, Dave, final score time.

Let's us check in. In fourth place tonight, on four points, please give it up for Jess Perkins! And one heart point. And the only one, apart from Matt, with a heart point. Both of you got heart points. Well done for the hard points. All hard.

Yeah. All right. Well, I should say, in second place on six points, it's the house, meaning we have a tie on seven points. Oh! In Southfield Valley and Big Red, seven points a piece! Oh! Oh!

That is so good! Oh my god, that's the best! Congratulations! I'm not gonna sleep for weeks! Oh my god! Congratulations! Wow, wow, wow. That's so you've never beaten him before, but this is your first time sharing the podium. How does it feel? I was like, how does it feel? Awful, it feels unfinished. I don't feel good about this at all.

I stumbled on that last one. I forgot about the double point situation. I thought I knew I was winning, so I was just wanting to fuck with him for no reason. But yeah, whatever, that was fun. I love this game. Your podcast comes out twice weekly, Zach and Mish. Yeah, it comes out every Tuesday. We do the Mission Zach podcast.

And on just a chatty, just chat. We just talk about, you know, silly shit, give some gas. And then on Thursday we do Leguizamorama where we talk about something that our favourite actor, John Leguizamo, has been in. Because he has been in everything. And if if you're like I don't know who that is yes you do. Yeah you do give him a google. Half expecting him to be in surf ninjas. Jess where can people find you?

At my house. No! Don't tell people where you live. It's 177. Stop it Jess. Alright. You can go on you can find me there. And that's about it. Good fun.

Jess Perkins and Dave, thank you so much for your side kicking Dave. Thank you so much. You can check out BookCheap Podcast, but also my good work on Channel 31. Thank you so much. Please, big round of applause for Dave, Zach, Miss and Jess.

I've been Matt Shuppey. Round of applause for everyone working here at Studio L Studio. Catch later, cheers, bye! Thank you. Well, hang on. Now, thanks for tuning in to Who Knew It? with Matt Stewart. Now that you know it, I've been Matt Stewart.

Goodbye! I think I'm the perfect addition to this because I couldn't care less. I'm usually here to have a good time, but today I'm here to ruin Matt's life. Much like he ruined the house yesterday. All right, question one. I might just stop and take a piss at some point and fuck off for 40 minutes or something. I thought that was what you all wanted me to do. And that was true, yeah.

Yeah, but you made the mistake of coming back. I feel like I deserve this. Bit of fun, bit of fun. Here is question number one. Alright, in modern early... I should have gotten goggles. Big Wet should have had goggles. Oh, fucking missed that mark.

Full snorkel. Why do they call you Big Wet? I don't know. Does anyone know? You just committed to the bit. No one remembers. Um, yeah, no, I don't know. Does anyone know? You just committed to the bit. No one remembers. No, I don't remember. I think it was like the first or second time I was on, there was a question and my answer might have been Big Wet or something like that. And then Matt started calling me Big Wet and I didn't know it wasn't meant to happen. But then after that episode was released, I just received, people like say it to me out of cars and stuff. Which is fine, because it's a fun, but anyone who doesn't know me,

who just sees someone who would out big wet at me, just like at a tram stop. But no, it's cool, I don't mind, I've committed. While Jess is finishing off, my partner collects Hot Wheels. Yeah, no, what a loser. No, but he does, he collects them. So whenever we're at like any shopping center, like today we were at Northland and like I had to go to JB Hi-Fi, right, which is something I haven't said since 2009.

You had to go to JB Hi-Fi. I had to go to JB Hi-Fi. And so he went to Target and then I went and met him at Target, and it was just him and this giant barrel of Hot Wheels, and like five seven year olds. Just going at you, and they're grabbing at them and stuff, like trying to beat each other. I'm like, you are a 40 year old man.

Take me home. Slap and kiss. I want the mini, I want the mini. That's amazing. Slap and get, I want the mini, I want the mini. That's amazing. So you've referenced two shopping centers today. Is this a bit of a pet subject for you? Pet sub, no, I worked in them for a really long time. I worked in retail for ages

and one of my jobs was for six and a half years at Northland, Can you imagine? So anyone here has ever been to Northland? Has anyone not been to Northland before? You've never been to Northland. Well, like, good. Well done. I'll describe it. I'll describe it for people that haven't been just to help them along. It's like shops.

But Northland specifically. It's like lots of shops in the northern suburbs. Northland specifically though, like the equivalent, like if Northland was something else, like represented as something else, it would just be piss. Like, it's like, it's a piss place. I hate it there. So the shopping centre where I grew up in the Latrobe Valley was called Mid Valley because it was right in the middle of the valley.

And when I say the valley, people think like, oh, like the valley, like, no, no, no, no, it's a valley where they mine for coal. And they did this thing in the 90s and the 2000s called Mid Valley Gold and that was instead of vouchers, you could use Mid Valley Gold, but you could only use it about half the shops and you I cannot express to you Mid Valley Gold to people who know what Mid Valley Gold is is the funniest reference a comedian could possibly use but only a few thousand people know it and it kills me every day like I just pray that you know there's one person from the Latrobe Valley streaming or in the audience right now.

Cause to them, great. To everyone else is like, okay, cool, man. Yeah. I think, yeah, I was on that and one of you killed me. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We did a red skin shots and I got so, okay. Yeah.

We did those red skin shots. I got so fucked. Yeah those red skin shots I got so fucked yeah it was a Monday night I went to spleen afterwards I thought I walked in really cool I was later told I walked in like I was shitfaced and I made out with a good friend of mine It was a fantastic night. It was a fantastic night. It was a fantastic night. Oh this is fun.

I'm having fun. I'm having a good time. I'm having a good time playing the game. Congrats on your good scores guys. You're actually doing a show later on today. Hey thank you so much for the promo. You're actually, you're doing a show later on today. Hey, thank you so much for the promo. Yeah, Mission Zaka doing Leguizama-Rama after this.

If anyone, I don't know if there's, I think there are maybe, come along if there are, have a go. We talk about our favourite character actor, John Leguizamo, but also we'll just talk shit, talk movies, we're going to have some fun games, we're just going to make a fun little live show of it. So yeah, come along. Thanks for the promo, Matt. Hey, no worries.

You're doing a show right now? Yes. Yes, thanks so much. Yeah, it's called Who Knew It and That's Stuart. Got some really great guests on. Definitely come along if you can. And Pop Gaze, think is on in between the two and anyone who's got tickets to our shows can come into that one as well. So you can all, especially if you're hanging around for their show after, come and see

Pop Gays in between. Just let them know that you have tickets to this show and you can get into that if you want. Ridgy Didge. And also it's our first ever live podcast. Oh, one. So it's actually is it? Yeah.

So back to back to. To. Um, yeah, no, it's our first ever one and pop goes first for one. So if you want to support us, that'd be lovely. Please. To first ever ones in a row. And we have prizes. That's why I was a JB Hi-Fi.

Oh, Miss. You're coming off as desperate. The prizes are DVDs. Most of them don't have DVD players. That's the joke. them don't have DVD players. That's the joke! Looks like all three are still writing. One answer is currently coming out so we're getting closer. That's fantastic. Any questions? You're all good? What are you writing on your phone there? You just pointed at someone and said any any questions? And they said, no I'm good.

Who, are you saying they were rude? Because I thought that was fair enough. I thought you were being really cool and polite and yeah that was a little rude of them. Any questions? Yeah. What the fuck is wrong with you? I don't really know. Oh I forgot to fuck around. What do you mean? No I fucked around a little bit. Yeah. I meant to ruin your life like you ruined mine yesterday. It's funny because this is probably the best behavior you've ever been on this podcast. And I need to remind you I'm quite sick and that's why. You're fully sick. I'm fully sick. Normally you really do break the game and...

Zach's right, I'm cheeky. Yeah, you're very cheeky. Very cheeky. I actually never noticed. Did you guys know I'm cheeky? Did you guys know? Cheeky devil. Maybe I can be like El Diablo or something. Sent! Got it. That leaves only one.

Mish, would you call me El Diablo? If you asked me to. Mish, would you please call me El Diablo? Yeah. No, we can do better, we can do better, we can do better. What does that mean? The gold or something? I said I'm a cheeky devil.

That means the cheeky one, does it? No. But why, does it? No. But why, why, so why? El Diablo means the diabolical or something? Does anyone here speak another language other than English that could say the cheeky devil in a different language? Oh, that's smart.

Oh, come on now! You're all at a do go on and do new at LivePod, you're smart! Some of you speak other languages. Oh, I was just doing Google. Sorry? Yeah, doing Google. What's a cool language?

Espanol. That's actually how you say it in their tongue. Oh, it's Diablo. I just looked up what is the coolest language and number one is Spanish. So there you go. Yeah, Puss in Boots, great film. I've heard that's genuinely pretty good. Yeah, I fell asleep to it on a plane, but I did enjoy it till that point.

Did you ever watch the TV show Puss in Boots? No. That was not good. Okay. Okay. But do you know which character actor starred in two episodes of it? Antonio... No. Banderas?

No. Now guess, now who could it be? Could it be Brendan Fraser? No. Because you would know. Puss in Boots. But you don't know. Puss in Boots. So it's something Fraser? No. Because you would know. Puss in boots. No. So it's something puss related.

No. No. Boots related? No. Is it someone from Boot Men? Just trying to think. Adam Garcia. Adam Garcia.

Adam Garcia. Adam Garcia. I love Adam Garcia. He was so good in Coyote Ugly. How good was he in Coyote Ugly? I like it when he got mad at his girlfriend for having a job. Yes. I love, my favourite thing about Coyote Ugly is he keeps his accent but they didn't write

it for the accent so he's like, oh let's go down to the, like he doesn't say pal, he's like, let's go to the bar. I was born and raised in Brooklyn. Okay. They normally, I'm walking here. I was born and raised in Brooklyn. I'm walking here. They didn't even do a line like he studied in Australia. No, no. But also like his accent is right because he is Australian, but it sounds fake.

And you realise about as you're watching it, you're like, oh, it's because the lines aren't written. Like, it's just so strange. You know that in 10 Things I Hate About You Heath Ledger was cast obviously and they were like we don't want you to do an American accent because it's sexier, your Aussie accent is sexier which is so funny. Agreed. Yeah. Look how fucking sexy this is. But that's a fun little bit of trivia you can take that with you.

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