Who Knew It with Matt Stewart - 117 - Beattie Edmondson, Camille Ucan and Rose Johnson (the Birthday Girls)
Episode Date: December 9, 2024Who Knew It with Matt Stewart is a comedy game show podcast hosted by Australian comedian Matt Stewart. This episode features English comedians Camille Ucan, Beattie Edmondson and Rose Johnson (aka th...e Birthday Girls)!This episode was recorded at Brazen Studio in LondonCheck out Matt's stand up special: https://youtu.be/cWStRpI-BhESupport the show via http://patreon.com/dogoonpod and you can submit questions for the show!See the podcast/Matt live: https://www.mattstewartcomedy.com/Check out Matt's podcast network: https://dogoonpod.com/Theme song by Evan Munro-Smith, Logo by @muzdoodles and edited by Connor Schmidt! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Hello, Matt here letting you know that I've got some shows coming up in Brisbane.
We're doing a live Who Knew It?
And I'm also doing a stand-up show, my show Ding, at the Caxton Street Festival on the 19th of October.
And then I'm going to be in Geelong working on an hour of new material on the 31st of October at the brewery there.
Jeez, I'm looking forward to that.
Then, of course, I'm flying over with my friends Jess and Dave to do a
tour of Europe for Do Go On, but at the end of that tour I'm doing three Who Knew
It shows with Stand Up as well in London on the 17th of November, Leicester on the
21st of November and Edinburgh on the 23rd of November. Cannot wait to do all
of these shows. Hopefully we'll see you there. You can find tickets at
mattstewittcomedy.com. mattstuartcomedy.com.
mattstuartcomedy.com. There's hunger inside of you. It needs a master. Featuring Patrick Gibson, Christian Slater, special guest star Sarah Michelle Geller,
with Patrick Dency and Michael C. Hall as Dexter's inner voice.
I wasn't born a killer. I was made.
Dexter Original Sin. New series streaming December 13th.
Exclusively on Paramount+. A mountain of entertainment. Welcome to Who Knew It with Matt Stewart, the show where the guests write the wrong
answers.
I'm the titular Matt Stewart.
Our first guest is a comedian and actor who has starred in shows such as Ted Lasso.
It's Rose Johnson.
Hello.
I like that you just had shows such as, and then just one show.
Yeah. I mean, you just had shows such as, and then just one show.
We don't have time to read your whole IMDb. I would also say Stard is very generous.
Very, very generous.
I haven't got up to season three, the yeah, but I'm looking forward to seeing your meaty role.
And how you changed the dynamics in Richmond.
Thank you. Yes. The new striker I play. Wow, that's very exciting. So there is a bit of a twist. Yeah, huge twist.
Our second guest this week is also a comedian actor who starred in shows such as BBC Three's Josh, it's Beatty Edmondson. Hello. What's up?
I was in that.
Yeah.
And actually star disfair.
Star disfair.
Star disfair, actually.
One of the main parts.
One of the main parts.
But, you know, that was-
Not Josh.
Several years ago now.
Oh God, she's sparring.
She's sparring.
For the most part, Beatty is checking her phone. And I was fr phone, apparently waiting for a call.
I'm typing furiously to my agent.
Do you remember when I was in Josh?
Starring Rowley Josh.
The third guest this week is also a comedian and actor who starred in Channel 4's Lee and Dean.
It's Camille Oochan.
Hello.
Sick name, such a good name. Thank you so
much. So I said to last rather dull first two names and really brought it on strong.
No offense to you Rose, my name is Matt Stewart. It is the dullest in the room. But I'd say
I'm second. Yeah, you might be second. I think. Beatty's got something about it. Yeah, a little
bit of something. Yeah, that's true. The've met two people, other people called Beattie.
One was someone in my class and the other one was a dog.
So yeah, it's not.
Have you ever been tempted to go back to Beatrice?
No, I hate it.
Fair.
Do you think it gives away the poshness too?
I think it does.
Yeah.
It's a giveaway.
It's a dead giveaway. There was a movie in Australia,
when maybe in the 90s called Playing Beaty Bow.
Classic.
Classic film.
What was it about?
A dog.
It was about a dog.
It was about a posh dog.
Everyone hates.
I should also say that you're all in a sketch group.
Yes.
Together, you do a podcast together.
We do. And you're podcast together. We do.
We do.
And you're best friends.
We're bestest friends.
Yeah, why not?
Aren't we guys?
Oh, me?
Yeah, that was telling.
Two of us are best friends.
Yes.
My name's kind of a bit too cool for the two of us.
Best friends.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
All right, let's get into it.
The way the show works is ask a relatively obscure,
trivia question.
Our contestants have to write a convincing fake answer.
I'll then read their answers. Well, as a real one, I have to guess which one is correct.
And the first question comes from listener Theo from Melbourne.
And the question is, what does gossip and bone?
Oh no, he's written rhymes with gossipy boner.
That'll help me.
Gossip.
What does gossipy Boma mean?
I mean, gossipy Boma, Boma, gossipy-boma mean? I mean. Gossipy-boma. Gossipy-boma.
Gossipy-boma.
Okay.
Doesn't really matter with gossipy-boma.
No context at all.
No context.
What does it mean?
Can you spell it for me, please?
Yeah, sure.
G-O-S-S-Y
P-I-B-O-M-A.
Are you like a, do you study language?
Would you be able to find?
Would you be able to find the root words in there?
Why do you laugh so much about that?
Because you make up words regularly, thinking of their real words, for example.
Yeah, I'm just thinking, I've come across Cosmic Dome of a Claw.
Shakespeare time, she once called it the Quirly Days.
Yeah, the Quirly Days, you know, the Quirly Days.
That's fantastic. I really like that.
I think your mum,
I'm gonna be a bit of a kid with a spirit to you.
I do very similar things.
The Quirly Days.
You know, Shakespeare, I mean, you say Shakespeare,
famously he made up a lot of words.
So maybe Camille is our generation of Shakespeare.
Don't you?
Finally someone's saying it.
No, no, no.
Don't encourage her.
While they're writing their answers,
I'll explain how the scoring works.
You get one point for each time your fake answer
is guessed by another contestant.
Another point if you correctly guess the answer.
And by the way, I'm also playing as the house.
I've put in two of my own fake answers for each question
with the help of the question writers,
and I get a point for each one of those that I guess choose.
So each of us can score up to three points per round,
which seems fair, but the probability actually favors me the house. And the house always wins
though, if you've listened to previous episodes, you'll know that is rarely the
case anyway. Most of our questions come from our great Patreon supporters. If you
want to submit a question, sign up on any level via patreon.com slash do go on pod
which is linked in the show notes. Oh my gosh, it looks like the answers are in.
Oh my gosh, it looks like the answers are in. So here, I started before I've copied and pasted them all.
Like I can wait.
I can be patient with myself.
You can be, give yourself permission
to be patient with yourself.
All right, the answer in here is question number one.
What does gossipy Boma mean?
The sensation where the muscles in your mouth
can't keep up with the words coming out of it.
The feeling of, that's option one, option two,
the feeling of dread when you are halfway through
recounting an anecdote, when you realize
it's not really a story worth telling.
Option three, the technical term for surgical complications
resulting from foreign materials such as a surgical sponge being accidentally left inside a patient's body. Option four, a hardy weed
found in most gardens and it does not respond to common weed killer. Option five, the Latin
term for getting your head stuck somewhere it shouldn't be or
finally a disease involving inflammation of the gallbladder.
Oh there's a lot of potential yeah I know which one's Camille's go on get your head stuck somewhere it shouldn't be.
Yeah well maybe I'm playing you at my own game. What? Okay.
Do you want to go first, Rose?
Yeah. I've also got a bone to pick with your format.
Okay.
If that's okay.
Yeah, early days I like a bone.
Yeah. Just because,
not, when we play book game, it's like a blind vote.
Right. So I would say, say you know if i'm voting for
something they know yes yes so i feel i mean i'm not saying that you should change the format but
what like defend yourself i think it's mainly because it's a podcast and we just we need to
sort of talk things out a little bit the listeners can't see us. He's just closing our eyes. Yeah, he's raising our hands. Yeah, OK. No, that does make sense.
He's put the podcast before the gameplay,
and I think that's...
And that's something that I cannot get off the ground with.
I think three of the four of us in here
are thinking about this as an entertainment.
And one of us may be thinking about it
as like a pursuit for greatness.
Yeah, yes, thank you.
But also, I will say that I'll rotate who goes greatness. Yeah, yes. Thank you. Yeah. But also I will say that I'll
rotate who goes first. So okay, yeah. Yeah, because yes. Okay. Yeah. So if that is of an advantage,
you'll be rotated around. Okay. I think it is the and you've written two of them. Yes. Me or the question writer?
I think it is the surgical instrument getting stuck inside.
All right.
Locking that in for Rose.
What do you think, Camille?
I think there are a couple of slightly surgically ones
and I think one of them is roses.
And I think that's going to stop me voting for either of those.
But Rose can't vote for her own.
So you at least know which one isn't roses.
And that's a good point.
What did you say?
Getting stuck in the thing?
The surgical instruments getting left behind. Yeah and I think yours is the gallbladder thing. So I'm gonna go for oh no what was the thing about when you
can't get the words out quick enough? The sensation where the muscles in your mouth can't keep up with the words coming out of it.
Yeah, I like that.
I feel I get Gossipy Bomber.
I'm going with that.
All right.
Look at that for Camille.
How did you beat him?
I'm not copying Rose, but I am going to go for the same answer because I thought that leaving the surgical instruments inside
bodies that sounds and not like GospiBoma sounds medically. She's furious. Rose is furious look at her. No
I'm not furious. No I'm not furious. Do you believe she's not copying you? No, no, no, no, no, I think, no, no, I think it's, I mean,
you are, you're the two close friends, though. So it makes sense that your minds are in a similar spot.
That's right. Camille, as usual, is going her own way.
Yeah.
All right, this is who wrote the answers.
Uh, disease involving inflammation of the gallbladder.
You were pretty confident it was Rose and you were right.
It was Rose.
Absolute snake. Knew it. Well done. K right it was Rose absolute snake knew it well done knew it absolute snake
head stuck the head stuck one no unfortunately that was me see me and
Camille were really okay that was good Camille wrote the one about the hearty
weed that does not respond to common weed killer. I tried to write one that was really straight down the line.
I think you need to go back to your normal ways.
Yeah.
Follow your instincts.
Feeling of dread when you're halfway through a recounting an anecdote that's not worth
telling that was also the house I'm afraid.
Oh, okay.
It does always win.
Camille, you went for babies.
Sounds like you're trying to muscle your mouth.
Can't keep up with the words coming out of it.
No, that was good.
Yeah, I'm a terrible winner, by the way. Sorry.
That was really good.
She actually is awful.
In the words of her husband, I tried to, let me see if I can find it.
Recently, I asked him for, I was doing a quiz on board games on our podcast and I said to
her husband, for our podcast what board game would you say makes BT the most angry?
And he said, this is verbatim, she tends not to get as angry as say her family but on a
game of risk which we ended up winning she was sent into a deep depression for a bit
on holiday. If it's helpful she's more of a gloater than someone who gets
angry much worse winner than loser already bad news yeah that was good and
that is bad news because BD and Rose were correct as well
Oh you snake! Do you see what I mean? So this is the thing so I've gone for that
Okay, and she's seen me go for that and she's thought
She- Rose is savvy
You know, I went with the other one. Oh, I picked her, that's what she knows
Yeah, she knows and can I just say can I is there any
Are there any additional points or
kudos for me having written a medical one?
There's kudos, I'll give you kudos.
Thank you, I'll take kudos at this stage.
I want to make a new column called kudos points.
Yeah that's fantastic actually.
That's fantastic.
So one kudos point for Rose there.
Rose could live off kudos points.
Daniel, my husband calls it praise pie.
He's like, you need praise pie.
And I do.
Yum yum yum yum yum.
That used to be well when we used to spend a lot more time with each other, like in close quarters.
Our trick was if you were in a bad mood, it'd be like, give her a compliment.
Are you joking?
Have you talked about this?
You absolutely, this is honestly seismic.
This is seismic.
And did it work?
Yes, every time. This is seismic! And did it work? Yes!
This is a damning indictment of my personality!
When you think back over our history, think about how many times we've told you your hair looks nice or like...
All of it true!
All of it true, but like...
But under duress! No, just something to snap you out of it true. Okay. All of it true, but like... But under duress.
Yeah.
No, just something to snap you out of it.
Well, I'm not gonna...
Now, anytime you give me a compliment, I'm gonna think that I was just in a bad mood.
Well, which I probably was, to be fair.
Sorry.
You've undone a lot of good work here.
I know.
I feel like we've lost that tool now.
Livid.
That's so funny.
Would you give each other a little look when you did it?
You little bitches!
If it works, it's like really satisfying when it works.
Well you've lost it.
You've played yourself.
Idiot.
The posh ones always fight for the rest of us. I'm so sorry.
Alright, scores after one round.
The house and Camille are yet to score.
Rose on one point and one kudos point.
But out in front on two points is Beattie.
Fuck.
Boo.
And she is becoming a nightmare.
Questions?
Just running around the studio. Yeah. That's quite a strut. is becoming a nightmare. Question two comes from Linda Malton from Gainesville in Florida and the question is
which of these are real species of birds?
You've just got to come up with a fake bird species.
Don't have to describe it or anything, just the name of a bird species.
And while you're writing your answers, I'll tell the listeners a bit more
about Gossipiboma. Theo writes, Gossipiboma is the technical term for things left inside
the body during surgery that then cause complications from Gossopium meaning cotton and Oma meaning
tumoral growth. This is very rare, Theo stresses. According to Wiki, when it does happen,
it's mostly in the abdomen and with surgical sponges.
Surgeons now count their sponges before and after surgery
to ensure they don't go missing.
And since the 1940s, these sponges are also made
with some sort of radio-paque threads
that show up on x-rays for easier finding.
Isn't that reassuring? Wow, yeah.
It's like it happened so much that they needed two different fail safes for it.
Yeah, and also mad that they didn't think of doing that before it happened several times.
The counting of them?
Yeah.
Feels pretty straightforward.
But also, yeah, I guess mad.
I suppose, I was going to say mad that you would ever do that, but then, yeah, I guess mad, I suppose. I was gonna say mad that you would
ever do that. But then also, not I guess everyone has a bad day at work. Like, but if you work in
Starbucks, you're like, I left the milk in the big fridge, surgical sponge in a coffee. Yes, exactly.
Yeah. And it's like, oh, that's fine. Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, then if you're a surgeon, it's like oh that's fine yeah yeah but yeah then if you're a surgeon
it's like but they're not there are also surgeons have you seen that
accidentally amputate the wrong limb? Oh yeah that's that's awful and it's that whole
like no I thought you meant you're right yeah am I right? Yeah yeah yeah yeah oh no
we really yeah they need them to do a big marker on it.
Confirming it. They do.
They normally do.
They do.
They do.
Yeah.
Oh my God.
Maybe because now that's the fail safe.
Oh my God.
Wow.
How do you explain that one?
I think it's- You just gotta write the name.
Oh, you don't have to describe it.
Oh, okay.
I mean, I'll read the description out after that. Please send it through.
Okay. Yeah, I think comedians also, you know, if we have a bad day that can really make people, you know, feel a little less good.
So I think we're pretty important. Yeah. More important, I should say. Yeah. More and more important. More important, I should say, yeah. Surgeons, yeah. Yes. Because what does the surgeon wanna do
when they get home or at the end of a shift?
Yeah.
Go watch some comedy.
Yeah.
We're serving the surgeons.
Yeah.
So they can do, yeah, they can do their work.
Without us, they're nothing.
Oh, the answer's a really good question.
Number two, which of these are real species of bird?
Little puffy darling.
The withering wang.
Black-backed splatjack.
That's option three.
Option four, horned screamer.
Option five, southern Beverly.
Or finally, a flinch anus Regina tit.
Little puffy darling, the withering wang, black backed splatjack, horned screamer Southern Beverly or a flinch anus Regina tit. This
is again too many that are viable. Yes that scientists who named birds they're I
think then they're not right there are so many weird names yeah I guess you've
got a yeah that's true I actually love birds so I'm sorry actually that sounded
harsh on bird people watches birdwatch, birdwatchers, bird, I don't know.
People.
I love birds.
Yeah, are you?
I strongly think I know the correct one.
Oh, wow.
Should you be saying that?
You're up first this time.
I strongly, strongly believe it's the Southern Beverly.
Okay.
You're gonna lock that in?
I'm locking it in.
Okay.
Is it me?
Yeah, after you.
What do you think?
You're not gonna believe I'm not copying you.
Are you kidding?
BT!
When I heard Southern Beverly I was like, that's it.
I swear.
Okay, fine.
Go on.
I promise.
Yeah, go on.
Southern Beverly.
Can you believe? Southern Beverly. The absolute snake. Just wait for the next question when you have to think of your own name. Okay, fine. Go on. I promise. Yeah
Just wait for the next question when you have to think for yourself, okay
Yeah, we need to make a new or BT has to start always
This is do you know on our it's a running joke on our podcast that we call her gray man Because she doesn't have like she can't
joke on our podcast that we call her Grey Man because she doesn't have like she's not personality. I don't.
And I would say is that bearing out? Can you think for yourself?
I'm just copying other people's. But it comes from when we would what were we doing? We're doing
some game where we're describing each other's personalities. Yeah it was like
three words to describe. And Rose was like, um neither of neither of us. We couldn't think of a single adjective.
Posh. Yeah.
Vague.
I think Ray, man, that's actually badass.
Yeah, because that's what we think.
It's what they look for in MI5 Spies is someone who you just don't know.
I'm going to use this as a future question for the show.
Oh, really? OK. Yeah. What is the
nickname of the star? All right. So two Southern Beverly's. Okay. I think that is a very plausible
name for a bird. When I heard it, I thought I think there is a bird called a Beverly maybe.
I also think it's a really boring answer. So I'm not going to go for it. And I my process of
deduction. Yeah, you're boring. My process of my thought
processes, would somebody send in a question with a really
boring real answer? That's my thinking. So I am going to go on
a limb and choose the most ridiculous answer, the
anus one. Okay, flinch anus Regina tit. I'm locking that in for Rose. I mean I know that Camille's written it. No, well, sorry, I don't know.
But I don't know, to me Southern Beverly is awesome. There's something fun about giving human names to animals.
I imagine her as like a Southern American animal.
Yeah, yeah, fanning itself.
Southern Beverly.
Yeah.
All right, let's go through who wrote the answers.
Little Puffy Darling, that was the house.
That's good.
It's lovely, it's lovely, well done.
The withering wang was Camille.
Oh!
Withering is such a great adjective for a bird.
Oh, that is withering.
Not a great adjective for a wang.
No. No.
I don't think that's ideal.
Yeah.
The black-backed splatjack, which was a brutal one to say, that was Rose.
Can I just say you aced it?
Oh, thanks so much.
Because there was a moment where I thought we're in danger of the grammatical error here.
He's going to fumble it and then they're going to know you didn't.
So thank you.
That was decent.
That's really good.
Splatjack.
I just liked it.
It came to me.
I like it a lot.
Rose, you went for the flinch anus Regina tit. I can explain that one further.
That's a small South African bird species known for their distinctive mating ritual.
Beattie, I can say it. Can I just say that Beattie is like twiddling her fingers?
Mr. Burns. Yes.
She's so pleased with herself.
Hehehe.
Fuck.
I thought so ridiculous no one would possibly vote for it, but I was Wow and amazingly you were also correct baby it's the Sun no you're not
what am I doing oh my god oh my god this is I love this oh my god I confused
myself there southern Beverly by Linda that was the house I'm so sorry
I'm so sorry I know the actual answer'm so sorry. I'm not. The actual answer I
don't even think you discussed it it's the horn screamer. Oh that was my other option that was
my second. What a what amazing name for a bird. Oh the horn screamer. Horn screamer yeah and it's
it's a pretty cool looking bird.
Does it scream?
It doesn't. It has a distinctive scream, but its most distinctive thing is this
horn that it has. It's not a feather.
OK. It looks like a feather, but that's like cartilage.
Wow. They say a unicorn bird.
That's really fucking cool.
Yeah, don't mind that actually.
Is it cool? Yeah, that's really cool.
Why are you hating on the horns green man?
It's got a little wiggly horn. A withering wang. I think I'm withering it.
A horn shade. It's because she's jealous because it's got something to it. Do you know what I mean?
It's got a thing. Everyone's talking about his horn.
That means the house goes two points that round.
I've still got zero points.
Beattie gets another point.
So after two rounds, the scores are
Camille, you have to score,
Rose on one, the house on two, be out in front on three points, it's Beattie.
Unbelievable.
Here's question three, but it's...
Rose, we have to get her.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. But also, Beattie, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, Knock you down at Peggle too. Yeah, yeah.
I think it's right.
Yeah, we love that.
We love people down at Peggle too.
I think that's one of the many traits
that Australia got from England was
it's the tall poppy syndrome.
Mm-hmm.
All right, question number three comes from
Mikkel Henze Peterson from Middlefart in Denmark.
Beautiful name.
No, right?
Name and place.
Is that part of the question?
No, but it should be.
I have a feeling it's probably pronounced differently
than that, but.
How else do you pronounce Farts?
It's spelled Middle Fart.
It's literally spelled Middle Fart.
That should have been the question.
You would have written it off.
It's obviously not that.
Obviously not that.
Could be.
Do you know what fart means?
Like speed in Swedish.
So like the movie Speed is just called fart.
That's awesome.
All right. So Mikael's question is,
what is the name of the defensive back on the central Arkansas Bears college
football team?
It's just a footballer in America with an interesting name.
So you just got to give us his name.
And while you're writing your answers, I'll let the audience know a bit more about horn
screamers.
Like I was saying just before, this is according to Linda, while their beaks resemble game
birds like quail and pheasants, horn screamers are actually members of the family Anatidae and are more closely related to ducks,
geese and swans. Their horn is actually a structure growing out of their skull almost
like a unicorn. And according to National Geographic, over the course of their lives,
these birds grow long white spines of cartilage in the middle of their foreheads. Some birds possess horns approaching six inches in length.
Whoa, that's...
How are they going about their life without that?
That must be so annoying.
Apparently no other birds on earth have anything like it.
And apparently sometimes they'll break off and grow back.
But they don't seem to have any actual purpose.
Apart from like maybe like finding mates or whatever.
Oh okay. Like if you've got a long one it's like oh.
Oh yeah. Geez. That's fantastic.
And also yeah as its name suggests the bird is also known for its loud call.
The main one is described as sounding like Mokuka. Mokuka.
The main one is described as sounding like mo-coo-cah. Mo-coo-cah.
Mo-coo-cah.
Which is why in some places the birds are known as the ma-hoo-cah.
Uh-huh.
Apparently the call sounds a bit like a goose, so I'm guessing I didn't quite do it right
there.
What's a goose sound like?
Should I try it?
Yeah, yeah.
Please.
A goose is like, oh, oh.
You did quite a good seagull last time.
Oh, I did. Did you see that?
That's fantastic. Now can you do a goose saying Makuka? Hang on, she needs to get to my goose character. Yeah, honky. Yeah, I think that must be exactly it. All right, the answer
for question number three, what is the name of the defensive back from the Central Arkansas Bears
college football team?
Here are your six options.
Dan Cranberry,
Qua-Va-Sia Spunk,
Weeder Best Wong,
Dude Person,
Sean Sean Shawnesson
or Prince Esteban Diego Miguel Cucu.
So you got Dan Cranberry, Corvaceous Spunk, We the Best Wong, Dude Person, Sean Sean Seanison or Prince
Esteban Diego Miguel Cucu.
Baby, that's really So, Beatty is yours. That's a really torn between
Corvaceous Spunk and Dude Person.
I feel like I'm going to go for Spunk.
Corvaceous Spunk.
Today I choose Spunk.
Yes. Choose Spunk. Choose Spunk. Yes. Choose Spunk.
Yeah.
All right.
Spunk is locked in for Beatty.
What do you think Rose?
I just because I love it so much.
I'm going to go for Sean Sean Sean.
I don't care if it's wrong.
I just love that name.
I don't know why it tickles me, but I'm going to go for Dan Cranberry.
I just love that.
Dan Cranberry.
I don't have a friend called Dan Cranberry.
Yeah, really good.
I do like Dan Cranberry.
You can tell he'd be a guy just, it's always sunny.
He is scared about his business.
And he'd have funny little jokes like he's always got cranberry juice.
That's classic Cranberry.
Yeah, I want to be friends with Dan Cranberry.
But is he a footballer? Let's find out.
He is who wrote the answers.
No one discussed this one either, which I think was unfair.
Prince Esteban, Diego, Miguel, Cuckoo.
That was Camille.
This is another classic Camille trope is just going far too far doing too much.
Yeah.
She's like, I'll do eight names.
And I was wondering if there was any influence in your answer as
Beatty was doing bird calls.
as Beattie was doing bird calls. Could you imagine?
You're cute!
You're cute!
Subconscious.
Weedabest Wong, that was by Mikel, the questioner.
It's classic Danish stuff, I think.
I have no idea what classic Danish stuff is.
Yeah, all the people listening in Denmark would be like,
ahhh!
I'm so sorry, Camille. Dan Cranberry was the house. I came up with that on this
morning. I felt pretty good about it.
It's really good.
Really good. I love Dan Cranberry.
Beady went for Corvaceous Spunk. That was Rose.
Oh, wow.
My husband is a big NFL fan. So I see a lot of these names.
Corvaceous isn't far off some of the genuine. That's a great name. Yeah.
Corvaceous spunk. Rose went for Sean Sean Seaness and that was Beatty.
Oh, no.
I'm pissed off. Yeah.
I know, I know, I'm pissed off. Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That means the correct answer is dude person.
Dude person, I was gonna say.
Yeah, dude person.
You were close, you were really close.
Dude person.
That's insane.
His name is dude person.
Dude person.
How has that been allowed?
I thought, yeah, I thought that there was like,
our net, because didn't somebody want to call their twins Benson and hedges
Oh, yeah, and they did social services stop them. Yeah
Yeah, well, I guess that in America and maybe it's not you know, it's that there's no bad connotation. No like
You know, it's not like about Benson and hedges. It's like, okay the cigarettes. Yeah, we're worried about how much you love cigarettes
but dude person like Benson and Hedges is like, okay, the cigarettes. We're worried about how much you love cigarettes. But Dude Person, you know, so what?
Yeah.
I remember that Dude Person's from America,
the land of the free.
Exactly.
The home of the brave.
Not from a nanny's state like Australia or England
or something like that.
Yeah.
So they can do anything they like over there.
I'm so annoyed.
I thought I was making gains on BT.
Yeah, it was a point exchange there between you two.
So that round there's a point to the house,
a point to Beatty and a point to Rose.
Can I just ask, is there any way I can catch up
from this point?
Yeah, this is really gonna piss Rose off,
I have a feeling, but the final round's worth triple points.
Okay. Am I right?
If that's what happens in the final round's worth triple points. Okay. Am I right?
If that's what happens in the final round then I'll give you my answer.
Okay.
Yeah, I'm afraid if it goes bad for you, you're like, this is ridiculous.
I'm going to be storming out of this studio.
Yeah.
All right, we're hitting the halfway.
Here's question four.
This one's from Bree from Harvey Bay in Queensland in Australia.
And the question is, what is the name of the Australian town where you can find the statue
of the big boxing crocodile?
So it's going to come up with an Australian town name.
I'm assuming this is obscure for you guys.
Yeah, you know it.
Yeah, I've been there.
I've seen the big boxing croc a few times.
Okay.
So while you're writing your answers, let's hear some more info about Dude Person.
This is according to the Northwest Rangers website. Okay. So while you're writing your answers, here's some more info about Dudeperson.
This is according to the Northwest Rangers website.
He was born on the 7th of October, 2001.
Oh my God, that's...
Yeah, so he was born weeks after 9-11.
So maybe, you know,
people's most important place.
Everyone's like, I know,
God, I know, call him Dudeperson, I don't care anymore.
And all, yeah, like you show the naming body,
they're probably got, they're worried about other things.
They've got other things on their mind.
So a dude slipped through.
Yeah.
He's the son of Tamika Kimmins and Ronnie Person.
Ronnie Person somehow is more ridiculous.
Yeah.
But he's got, he's got siblings, Dasher Person,
Olivia Person and America person that's America person
that's that one's no good Ronnie persons fun America person yeah
apparently enjoys playing Madden football and spending time with his
family and friends in his free time as well as studying what when he's not playing football he plays football be like a plumber going out and playing
a video game where he's fixing toilets yeah what the hell come on anyway while you're still
writing your answers let's go for a quick break this episode is brought to you by google pixel
i'm jesse krickschank i host the number one comedy podcast called Phone a Friend.
I also have three kids.
I need help making every day easier.
So I switched to Google Pixel.
It's a phone powered by Gemini, your personal AI assistant.
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And we're back here is question number four. What is the name of
the Australian town where you can find the stature of the big boxing crocodile. Humpty do to Womba, big knob,
windy grouber, fair dinkum or dirty Creek.
Can you do them all again? Yes.
Humpty do to Womba, big knob,
windy grouber, fair Dinkum or Turdy Creek. So back to you Rose.
That's hard.
Yeah.
I think Turdy Creek is Camille.
I'm going to say Big Knob.
Big Knob. I'm gonna say big knob. Big knob?
It can't be big knob.
It can't be big knob.
The pressure's on me. I really want to get one.
Okay.
I sort of like Humpty Doo.
What was the one after Humpty Doo? Toowoomba.
Toowoomba. I'm gonna go Toowoomba. Toowoomba. Hmm.
And your classic style. She's gonna fucking go for Big Knob. Wait, you mean classic style? Also, she's a robot classic style use.
Once again, go for Big Knob.
It was a little ambiguous.
Alright, here's our answers.
Turdy Creek, that was beatty.
So you weren't far off.
It was coming from within the room.
Fair Dinkum within the room. It was.
Fair Dinkum was the house.
That's saying that's just a phrase in a strong language.
Is that a phrase over here too?
Yeah, Fair Dinkum.
No, we don't really say it.
I've heard it as a phrase.
Yeah, I think of it as an Australian phrase.
Right, because I assume a lot of those ones would have been English ones that had come over.
Yeah, we say fair do's.
Fair do's.
And you know, like, and
over time your language evolved, but we've still got this little outcrop of old English
say, uh, windy Gruber. That was Camille and I couldn't, I couldn't ask for pronunciation
cause obviously I was like, is it windy Gruber windy grouber? Fantastic. That's relief.
Camille, you went for to Womba, which is a real place in Australia,
but that was Rose, I'm afraid. I know. I'm sorry. So boring,
but I had to use my knowledge of Australia and that's a real place.
To Womba. Don't I get a point for that?
That's a kudos point.
Yeah.
It's a kudos point.
Am I gonna lose on kudos points?
You are currently down on kudos.
I've got minus kudos points.
Yeah BT, every single round you've lost at kudos points.
Big knob.
Now Rose and Beattie went for that.
That was Bree, okay the house.
Oh!
Me and the correct answer, Camille again,
you were so close to getting Humpty Doo.
It was Humpty Doo.
It was Humpty Doo.
Humpty Doo.
I should have got it.
Are you joking?
Humpty Doo.
Humpty Doo.
Yeah, Humpty Doo.
Probably the most ridiculous on the list.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Humpty Doo.
Humpty Doo.
I felt, I nearly went for it.
You were so close.
Yeah, that was the first you brought up,
but I think you talked your way out of it.
I did.
Cause Toowoomba sounded too real,
because it fucking is.
Cause it fucking is.
But so is Humpty-doo.
Yeah.
So that round, Rose gets points,
the house gets two points.
Boo.
Things are tightening up. Between the house and Beatty.
And Rose, you got a point there. Camille's still on zero. I got zero points that round.
Well welcome, you know, that's me. Camille for the whole game. So with two rounds to go,
Camille's yet to score. Rose is on three, Beatty's on four, but the house is now on five points out in front. Oh, can I just, how often is it that someone gets zero for the whole?
Ah, pretty rare.
So you're doing something fun and unique, you know?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Especially when they're trying.
The thing is, I can see her little lip going.
She's getting genuinely pissed off now.
I'm going to say if there were going to be any tears this game.
Could be from me today.
Could be from Camille.
But Camille, remember that final round.
Triple points.
I mean, if you clean sweep it, you'll get nine points in the final round.
And the house only gets single points in the final round as well.
So the advantage is all with you. Because I find it awkward when the house only gets single points of the final round as well so the advantage is all okay because I found it I find it awkward when the house wins
it's so weird to be like hey you want to come play a game with me I've been under the rules and I've won again
all right so two questions ago here's a penultimate question comes from Emmy
White from Tallahassee in Florida. And the question is, what was a headline from an AP news article on the 14th of January 2019? The
date's not particular, it's not really relevant. It's just to narrow things down
a bit. But you just have to come up with a, you know, maybe a slightly quirky news
headline. From when, sorry? 2019. While you're writing your answers, here's some
more info about Humpty Doo.
According to National Geographic,
Humpty Doo, known locally as the Doo,
although I've been there a few times,
I've not heard anyone say that.
Anyway, it's only a short drive from Darwin's center,
and in recent times has become a commuter town
for the territory capital.
As Humpty Doo evolved into a commuter town
for people working in Darwin,
the big boxing crock became a very identifiable icon for locals. But it's now also developed into one of the must
see highlights for anyone ticking off Australia's list of big thing tourist attractions. Inspired by
the boxing kangaroo logo used for Australia's successful 1983 America's Cup challenge, it stands
13 meters high and wears red boxing gloves.
It was hugely expensive to build. The structure was the brainchild of Marshall
Brentenow, who was running the Humpty Doo Bush Shop at the time. In 1970, he
commissioned a Sydney company to build the big boxing croc out of fiberglass.
The challenge was to build something strong enough to withstand the full
savagery of tropical cyclones, which probably explains why the crock cost a staggering $137,000. Wow. That was in the 80s as well.
So it would have been a million. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that was back when people buying houses for,
you know, 20 bucks. The best big thing. Best for being actually the best or the best because there's one
that's the big spot or the big potato but it really looks like
it just a big piece of shit. Yeah, yeah, which is, you know,
makes it pretty good. Yeah. There's one of like a big is it
the big Scotsman who is doing like what looks like a Nazi
salute but I was not on purpose. I think it's might have been
taken down recently. Yeah, but I was not on purpose. I think it might've been taken down recently.
Yeah.
But you know, it was just.
Or at least the arm.
Yeah, just putting it down a bit on angle.
I like, there's a big Humpty Dumpty somewhere,
I remember seeing it.
Is it in Humpty Doo?
It is not, isn't that weird?
No, that's mad.
Surely that's, yeah.
A boxing crocodile.
That's probably my favorite actually, the boxing croc.
Okay.
Because like the kangaroos, they do fight like that.
Oh yeah.
So it makes sense. But a crocodile cannot...
They'll hit you right in the nose.
You know, a crocodile's little arms can't...
They don't have arms, little legs or...
Well they don't need... yeah.
Yeah. They've got other things. They don't need to use their fists.
Yeah, and I find you going around being like,
Yeah, they've got tiny little arms, crocodiles.
Yeah. Wouldn't worry about them.
Lame.
God, there's some real thought going into these.
I ran through and deleted them.
I quite like that as gameplay from Rose as well.
Little bit of thought going on over here.
I got mine out real quick.
Okay, answers are in for question number five.
What was a headline from an AP news article on
the 14th of January 2019? Florida man severs own penis and severs own testicles attempting to
reattach it. That's option one. Option two woman drinking wine from Pringles can banned from Walmart.
Option three, Greg Piero goes from zero to hero,
saving a child mid sip of beer-o.
Option two, option four, no bro, I swear it was a cover-up.
Survey shows, weird uncles are using bro
more at family holiday dinners.
That's four, five, missing kangaroo found cooking
in Chinese restaurant.
Or finally, dwarf porn actor dies in badger accident.
Oh, oh my God, that's hot.
I feel like I need them again.
Is that annoying?
No, of course not.
You're usually-
I've got the pressure now.
So I need to really think about this.
Maybe it's Camille leading the charge here, is it me?
Yeah, back to Camille.
Okay.
So you got Florida man severs own penis,
then severs own testicles attempting
to retouch it. That's a real disaster isn't it? That's a bad day. That's option one option
two woman drinking wine from Pringles can banned from Walmart. Option three Greg Piero
goes from zero to hero saving a child mid sip of beer. Oh, option four.
No, bro.
I swear it wasn't a cover up.
That's an inverted commas survey shows weird uncles are using bro more at family holiday
dinners option five missing kangaroo fan cooking in Chinese restaurant.
It's unfair whether it was in the dish or it was the chef. Or finally. Let's say he was the chef
because I don't like the connotations.
Yeah.
Well, finally, dwarf porn actor dies in badger accident.
So what do you think in coming out?
I did read it at first as I'm picturing it with a chef.
It can go with chefs kangaroo chef. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
I'm tempted to go for that one.
I will, while you're on your next dance,
I'll read the article as well.
I haven't read it yet, so looking forward to finding
a story.
I'm drawn to that one or dwarf badger.
I'm gonna go badger. I'm going to go badger badger locking the bed.
You took me out.
I'm going to go for a sip of beer.
Oh, I just think someone's really enjoyed themselves.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You want to reward the enjoy.
I strongly feel that's roses.
I boring, but I'm also going to go for sip of beer. I strongly feel that's roses.
Boring, but I'm also gonna go for a sip of beer, Rose. Because I think, yeah, I think, yeah, I enjoy it.
So it's not roses.
I also feel like I could be really setting myself up
for a big fall here.
I feel like I can remember possibly a thing
that was like a softball game
where the ball was gonna hit a kid in the face
and the guy moves the kid or moves the ball and he's got his beer. I could be shooting in the
absolute dark here but I'm going for a sip of beer-o. Camille has collapsed.
Okay is she crying? She's got her hands in her hands. I also tried to do some mind games and that didn't work.
I just thought...
What?
Yeah, well, that'll come out soon.
Oh!
I thought it was really good stuff, by the way.
I thought that was great.
She's tried to lead us down the garden path to her one.
Should have been rewarded.
Should have been rewarded there, Camille.
Okay.
So what was the other one she was...
Because Camille did write missing kangaroo found cookie in Chinese restaurant.
And yes, I did mean chef.
Okay, so just be aware of the connotations could be.
Yeah.
It's a good thing. What was the other one she was... Camille did right, missing kangaroo found cooking in Chinese restaurant. And yes, I did mean chef.
Okay, just be aware of the connotations could be.
Yeah.
Cooking is in the food.
Yeah.
Kangaroo is very popular meat in Australia too.
Right, yeah.
It's a lean.
Yeah.
I don't think it's usually in traditional Chinese cuisine.
Kangaroo jamming.
I don't, I'd like to have funny little hands as well.
So yeah, Florida man seven zone penis and seven zone testicles attempting to reattach
it.
That was BD.
And that was your, that was what your fourth draft after the other one being too disgusting.
She was like, what came before?
Before Seven Tentacles.
I don't know, it was stuff about tapeworms.
I was like, I can't do it.
Then I'll be thinking about tapeworms.
Now you've put that in all of our minds.
Yeah, sorry.
No bro, I swear it was a cover-up.
That was Emi, okay, at the house.
I didn't fully understand that one.
If I had to be honest.
Sorry, sorry, Emmy.
I just thought it was too long for like a head.
Yeah, I thought it's not grabbing me.
But it's an Emmy, you have some work to do.
Emmy's written it in from Tallahassee, you know,
there'd be a, there's an American sort of thing going on.
So this is my, the thing I was tempted by was the,
the other one was the Walmart.
I think in Boulderdash, anything that has got like, if you say city bus, it,
it, cause it's, that's an Americanism, you know?
Right. Yep. So I,
Shit, I was going to go for that one.
Yeah. I feel, go on reveals.
Camille, you went for dwarf porn actor dies in badger accident. That was Rose.
Oh for fuck sake.
Ah crap.
I just need to do some mindful breathing.
Was it Walmart Pringles?
Fadi and Rose went for a Greg Piero goes from hero zero to hero that was the house I'm afraid.
Oh no! The correct answer was woman drinking wine from Pringles can banned from Walmart.
At least you all feel equally dejected. Yeah. I'm beside myself.
I'm beside myself.
Does anyone fucking around to go?
Triple points coming. Triple points coming, so...
But yeah, geez, a bit of work to be done because Camille...
yet to score.
An equal second place on four points a piece, it's Rose and Beatty.
But now, add in front by three points, it's the house.
Oh, okay.
So you really want to try and avoid, if you can,
give me any points to the house in this final round.
I wasn't here.
But you've got triple points up for grabs.
So if yours is picked and you picked the right one,
you could get nine points here.
Imagine that would be an all time victory, Camille.
The stage is set.
Just don't.
So we always finish with a film synopsis.
So this one would be like a little paragraph.
This would be a longest answer.
And it comes from Becca Buck from Park Ridge in Queensland.
Question is, what is the synopsis of the 1993 film Heart and Souls?
And I should say, I should have said this before, but if you happen to know it,
just play it like you don't
and don't, I wouldn't even say you know until after we'll reveal the real answer because it'll
give away to the others. So question six, what is the synopsis of the 1993 film Heart and Souls?
While your answers are being written, here is that AP article titled, Woman drinking wine from Pringles can, banned from Walmart.
Wichita Falls, Texas.
Police in Northern Texas say a woman has been banned from a local Walmart
after she spent several hours driving an electric shopping cart around the store's parking lot
while drinking wine from a Pringles can.
I can't. It's not. I don't think it's clear if the can is holding a bottle
or she's poured it into the Pringles can hold a liquid.
I wonder. Anyway, for a while.
Yeah, you'll be on the clock.
Police tell the Times Record News that officers responded to a report of a suspicious person
around 9am Friday at a Walmart in Wichita Falls.
The city is about 125 miles or 200 kilometres northwest of Dallas near the Oklahoma border.
Wichita Falls Police spokesman Jeff Hughes says the woman had reportedly been riding
the electric cart around the parking lot for about three hours.
Hughes says police eventually found the woman in a nearby restaurant and told her not to
return to the store.
Police say the woman wasn't arrested and her name was not released. I can't see it, I can't see it, I can't see it. Oh my god! I can't see it! I can't see!
I didn't see that, okay.
I couldn't read it, I couldn't read it.
I saw the length of it.
I just saw the length of it.
But I didn't see, I didn't read any of it.
She looked at my phone and his screen.
I didn't read it.
Look guys, touch, cross my heart.
I was going to say touch my heart.
Touch my heart.
Touch my bum.
Sorry, will I?
She wouldn't say that if yours was the other tree.
Alright the answer for the final questions here and Bede it's hard to not think that
if you win it will be Tainan.
There will be a question mark and an asterisk.
No you wouldn't have been able to see that.
No, no.
Of course she's going to say no. I'm looking at that angle I can't. No you can't have been able to see that. No, no. Of course she's going to say no.
I'm looking at that angle.
I can't.
No, you can't read that.
You can't read it.
Well, why did you glance at it then?
Because I can sort of see it.
But I can't read it.
Your Honour, that does feel like a real Perry Mason moment there.
We rest on that.
The prosecution rests.
All right.
Final question. What is the synopsis of the 1993 film heart and souls?
Trish has just received the great news that she'll be receiving a heart transplant
However, she doesn't know that the heart she's receiving is coming from a mass murderer who died on the way to prison
upon waking up from the operation Trish discovers not only that
did she receive the heart of a killer, but the soul as well.
Can Trish fight the evil urges she now feels or will the killer's soul take over
Trish's bodies and continue their killing spree?
Something is telling me that it might be Camille's. That's option
one, option two. College roommates Brandon and Hank are visited by the devil and offered
the gift of immortality in exchange for their souls. Brandon accepts while Hank declines
and says he never wants to see Brandon again. 30 years on, Hank and Brandon bump into each
other, both divorced, broke and living out
of their cars.
Brandon wants to be free of his immortal chains, so together they take on the devil to get
Brandon's soul back and mend their broken hearts.
Option 2.
Option 3.
When four people die in a bus crash in 1959, they're ghosts attached to Thomas Riley,
a baby born at the moment of their deaths.
After guarding him through early childhood, the ghosts disappear from his view. Thomas
grows up to be a businessman who assumes they are products of his youthful imagination.
When the ghosts realise they need Thomas' help to move on, they decide to make an appearance
once more. Can Thomas help these four souls with their unfinished business without derailing
his own life?
That's option three.
Option four.
After the listeners, Camille is still buried.
She's still had her hands.
Option four.
Grumpy hardened detective Lawrence Hart is in need of a new partner as his current one
retires. He is paired up with fresh-faced, newly promoted David Soulless, who is nicknamed Soul due
to his vitality, warmth and the love of Motown music.
Can this odd couple overcome their differences and work together to investigate the spate
of bank robberies played in the city?
Or will their differences
be too much to overcome?
Oh no.
Option five.
This round is hard to get your mind around.
Yeah.
So many different ones.
Yeah, yeah.
I'll try and do a brief summary of them all after this.
So second last one here.
Kindergarten teacher Emily Hart has an ordinary verging
on boring life
until she's hit by a mail truck on her way home from work. When she wakes up, she's able to see
the souls of the departed and begins to help them escape the mortal plane by completing their
unfinished business. Or finally, lonely real estate agent Victoria has been unlucky in love for years
until she falls head over heels for two of her clients at once. At first glance, Jerry and Peter are a lot like the
houses they are selling. Old and charming. But what Victoria doesn't know is that they've
also got a big secret. They're both ghosts. That's a great twist. So let me see if I can.
So we got the mass murderers heart transplant.
The only problem with anyway, I probably don't need to go through problems with any of them.
I think that's the only one that has a single soul.
She takes on one soul, not souls.
But anyway, then you got the college roommates, One makes a deal with the devil, the other doesn't.
And then in the end, they try and take down
the devil together.
Then you got the car crash where the ghosts
attach to a newborn baby.
He thinks they're sort of figments of his imagination
until they come back when he's a successful businessman.
Then you got the hardened detective
whose surname is Hart. And he's paired with a guy
whose nickname is Sol due to his love of Motown music.
But again, there's a plural scene.
Yeah, you're right.
I mean, you have to see the film to understand that.
Okay, yeah.
Then you've got kindergarten teacher, Emily Hart,
who wakes up after being hit by a bus
with the ability to see dead people,
and she helps get their souls off the mortal plane.
And finally, the lonely real estate agent
falls in love with two guys at once.
There's a twist though.
They're both ghosts.
So we're back to you Beatty.
Okay, I'm torn, I think between three. I'm torn between two. So I think it's either the college roommates, the kindergarten teacher, or that last one. The real estate agents.
I'm going to go for the roommates, college roommates, Hank and Brett.
What are they called?
Bruno and...
Brandon and Hank.
Brandon and Hank.
Brandon and Hank are locking that in.
Oh God.
Oh God.
I think that's the wrong choice.
Oh, the immediate... I think that's right, I've locked it in. Yeah, this is really hard. So I think, I was gonna say, but this
could still be true, that kindergarten teacher was beauty because she finished hers very quickly.
And so I was like that seemed short
and quite route one but she has just given that as one of the ones she was thinking of but she
could be leading us up the guard path. Yeah that's true I might have got through it quick but it's
about the stuff yeah they're all about the same length maybe it is a line shorter but So is the real estate one as well. I am, I do think it is that one because the thing is,
so I like college roommates. I like baby,
baby boy, but I'm like, where's the heart?
But then I'm like, has somebody written Emily heart?
That's the first thing they've thought they've gone. need to they are cool her Emily Hart this is very difficult
mm-hmm I think it's going to be I'm gonna go for kindergarten teacher even
against my better judgment I'm gonna go for it
the one that gets hit by the truck? No. Hit by the mail truck, wags
up, can see dead people. For me it's between that one and the baby. Baby souls. Fuck, there's
a lot riding on this for me. Because Rose, yeah, I could be swayed by you. You've picked that, but then you have been picking.
You've picked BTs a couple of times. Gonna go for the baby.
Go for the baby.
Alright, lock it in the baby for Camille. Here's who wrote the answers.
The one about Trish who receives a heart transplant,
that was Becca, aka The House.
That was really good.
I thought that was Camille.
Yeah.
I apologize to Becca, I did pick out, I don't know why,
that was a bad instinct to pick out a problem
with one of my own answers, basically.
Yeah, you played yourself.
Yeah, it was an interesting instinct there.
But like I said before,
I don't feel that comfortable winning.
I don't know, that's not an English instinct, is it?
Certainly not a Rose instinct.
No, no, no, no.
We wanna win, but then we wanna pretend
like we're humble about it.
Well. Apart from me.
The other one, Becker also wrote the one about the cops.
And I'm sorry, I also, that was decent.
That was fun.
Lost Motown got the name.
So did I ruin it when I, cause I thought for half a second there was a typo, the name David
Solis.
You didn't ruin it.
But like I said, I I was like he's it's
soul yeah it doesn't it was good though yeah doesn't track so that means the
house gets no points this round oh shit whoa we've all picked each other's oh
someone's picked the right one lonely real estate agent Victoria's been unlucky
in love for years, but she ends up finding out
that her new loves are both ghosts.
Few of you were tied with that, but that was Rose.
It was me.
That was great stuff.
So no one picked that one, okay?
No one picked that one.
Beady, oh, Rose went for the one
about the kindergarten teacher, that was Beady.
Beady! Yeah! I knew it! I knew it!
I knew it!
I knew it!
I knew it!
I knew it!
I knew it!
I knew it!
I knew it!
I knew it!
I knew it!
I knew it!
I knew it!
I knew it!
I knew it!
I knew it!
I knew it!
I knew it!
I knew it!
I knew it!
I knew it!
I knew it!
I knew it!
I knew it!
I knew it!
I knew it!
I knew it!
I knew it!
I knew it! I knew it! I knew it! I knew it! I knew it! I knew it! I knew it! win like that, you can have it. Do you know what? No kudos points for you.
That's a negative kudos point there actually.
You might win the competition.
Well, we're having a moment,
because it's triple points, so let's carry on.
So you say negative kudos?
For Beatty?
No, massive.
We've chosen her one.
Carry on.
Okay, let's see.
We chose different ones.
So, Beatty picked the one about the college roommates,
Brandon and Hank, that was Camille's number one.
Oh yeah! And Camille, so the girl.
Oh yeah.
And Camille also got the correct answer.
Oh.
That baby grew up to be,
what's the Iron Man actor's name?
Robert Downey Jr.
Robert Downey Jr.
What?
No.
He played that baby.
Well, he played the adult version of the baby.
Oh.
Oh my God.
Hell of a moment. What in a moment no no well
no i'm gonna i'm gonna tabulate the scores but just quickly she's taking off her cardigan can i just
say she's overwhelmed i'm gutted it was between the baby for me and beatty snakey one and i saw her
method as well and i still chose it because she's a snake she threw it in with her i'm sorry i didn't
do that i didn't do that for mine,
I didn't say oh yeah and the real estate won. She did that. Hey we gotta play the game. Awful.
She did it, she did it first. Just because she doesn't have any points she doesn't get
very seduced. Well half points now guys. So um before I give the final scores Rod Tomatoes
Before I give the final scores, Rod Tomatoes gives it a critical score of 58% which is a splat.
It's not fresh, it's the other one.
It's a splat.
Yeah, I forget what they call it.
Yeah, certified fresh.
Yeah, certified fresh or it's a splat, but it's probably got a name.
But the audience liked it more 76%.
A positive review from Alex Sandal reads,
sappy and overly sentimental.
I still liked it for some reason.
Whereas Scott Winegurg wrote,
didn't like it saying,
another one of those syrupy supernatural love comedies pass.
Whoa.
Jeez Scott, whoa. One by name. Hey, do you know what? I'm going to watch it. People spent
years making that film. Yeah. So I'll say as well. Say yes. I quite like my, my film
idea. I thought it was great. They're both ghosts. Oh yeah, they're both ghosts. Ghosts
deserve love as well. That was good.
So Robert Downey Jr. is in it and so is...
My internet is going to slow all of a sudden.
A couple of other names I recognise.
Just people.
Yep.
Alright, here is the final score on negative one kudos points.
It's Beatty.
But equal winners for kudos.
On one kudos point a piece.
It's Rosy Camille.
And to be honest, that's the important.
I think so. Actually, no.
You know what, Rose, you get an extra kudos on that last round because you didn't
you didn't play those.
Didn't play the dirty tricks.
Yeah.
So I'm going to this brand new scoring thing.
I mean, it is only fair you came up with it
and you also are the inaugural kudos winner.
Thank you.
Are you going to, is this going to go forward or?
It might do.
This is, this might dampen your celebrations a bit.
In fourth place, on fourth place is Rose.
That's fine though.
I genuinely don't mind.
Camille, you wouldn't have beat, you wouldn't have beat.
Jumping into third spot on six points, it's Camille.
Oh, okay.
I was gonna maybe be first.
But, equal winners, only one point ahead on seven points,
it's Beatty and the House.
Woohoo!
Woohoo!
Thank you.
Yeah, okay, well done guys, well done, congratulations.
I'm just happy I'm not on zero. So whatever you want me.
You went from zero to six.
That was pretty good. She's only one point away as well.
Yeah. Really happy with that.
Really well done.
Where could people find you? Obviously, your podcast is available.
Our podcast is called Birthday Girls House Party.
It's wherever you get your podcast.
Yeah, wherever you get your podcast. It is a lot of this, this vibe of getting, getting annoyed with each other.
And each episode is loosely based around a different kind of party. Yeah, like a theme, a theme of a party as our sort of starting point classic party themes. For example, our next theme is bed and breakfast.
Great.
Okay, so that's...
Now you're partying.
Yeah.
If you're gonna direct people to where to find you in particular.
Oh, on Instagram, we are on there at birthday girls house party.
Made of jazz.
Yeah, birthday girls house party. Really? I thought it was birthday girls house party. Oh, we're at birthday girls house party.
Really? I thought it was birthday girls house party.
Oh no we are.
Birthday girls house party on Instagram.
And you can find our podcast on,
yeah wherever you get your podcasts, Apple, Spotify.
All the classics.
All the big names, yeah.
Awesome, well thanks so much for joining us.
It's been a real pleasure.
Thanks so much for having us.
Yeah, we loved it.
It was so fun.
In this fancy, what is this studio called? It's a real fun studio here in London. It's been a real pleasure. Thanks so much for having us. Yeah, we loved it. It was so fun.
What is this studio called?
It's a real fun studio here in London.
It's Brazen.
Brazen Studios.
Brazen Studios.
I'm just getting the voice of God in my ear.
Brazen Studios.
What a spot.
Thanks so much for having us.
I'm pretty sure they won't charge us for the rent now.
Have we been...
How have we been as contestants?
Oh, fantastic. Guys constantly wanting a review. No, no, no, but I just want to know, have we been as contestants?
No, I'm constantly wanting to know.
No, no, no, but I just want to know, have we been too competitive?
Beattie.
Yeah, just give her a compliment.
Rose, something I've just been thinking about is you played this game fantastically well.
Even though I know you're just doing that for effect, it still worked.
I literally get through, I literally get through.
To the listeners, thanks so much for listening give us a
pass over you why not maybe tell your friends if you know anyone
who might enjoy it and cheers for tuning in to who knew what
Matt Stewart now that you know it I've been Matt Stewart
goodbye
is a great example of one of those silent moments I was talking about.
Yeah.
I mean, feel free to say something really funny and entertaining if you want to.
I just wrote something but then I remembered that this is a comedy podcast.
I'm just too competitive.
So I keep...
Oh please, play for real if you want to.
Oh God, here we go.
There's a real mix.
I think it's fun when there's a bit of a mix.
You don't understand how she gets. Oh yeah. Should we tell him the history? There's a real mix. I think it's fun when there's a bit of a mix.
You don't understand how she gets through it.
Oh yeah. Should we tell him the history?
I think we need to tell you about the book game.
There's a game, you know the book game?
Which is basically this.
Oh, the dictionary game. Oh, you click to it and find a word in it.
No, not that.
Okay, so the book game, very similar to this, but you have a selection of books.
Everyone has to write the first sentence
and you read out everyone's sentences plus the correct one.
You guess which is the first one.
Oh, that's great.
We love playing that game.
One time, Rose cried.
She cried when we played that game
because she deemed it unfair.
She deemed it unfair.
No, I didn't deem it unfair. No, no, no, no, no, no. I didn't deem it unfair. She deemed it unfair. No, I didn't deem it, no, no, no, no, no.
I didn't deem it unfair.
I was, it was tears of disappointment.
Okay.
Because.
She fucked up her grandmother.
Yes, I had made a grammatical error in my line
which made it very clear that it wasn't the correct,
real first line.
And I thought I took the disappointment very hard.
Has this happened long enough ago that you've made peace with it?
You've found a funny side of it now?
I can see when she talks about it, she's still going back to that place.
Yeah, no, it's still triggering.
It's a wound, not a scar.
Yeah, and it has just been reopened early on, so it's okay.
So yeah.
That is amazing. I think you are the. So that's okay. So yeah. That is amazing.
I think you are the perfect player for this show.
Thank you.
We do like, we have a real mix.
The regular Aussie comics are on there.
Some are real gung-ho about winning the game.
Okay.
And others are quite the opposite of that.
I think it makes it fun.
You get people.
I would also say that Camille's coming at me hard here, but whenever we play
these games with Camille... Oh, sorry. Yeah. You're a child. Whenever we play these kind
of games, Camille's answers are always so ridiculous that it annoys me because there's
no way that they could be real. Let's see. Let's see.
But I do try and have answers that are... not all of them, but some of them would be
pretty ridiculous so that Camille's might hide in plain sight. Okay exactly.
I really, I don't know if I hope for tears or not today. It would mean that
we've really had a good game I think. Yeah. Yeah I think it'll be disappointing
if there's not. But I would say
to re-enact those circumstances I do need to probably be about like
four or five glasses of wine deep. Okay yeah yes okay. There were mitigating factors in it.
Yeah sober tears that is something else. Yeah yeah. You've got things to work through. She did have to be taken out of the room by her now husband and told to calm down.
That's why I married him.
Yeah, I could go and converse with these birds if someone needs me to.
Do you go out bird watching your saiyan love birds? So I wouldn't, I would say I wouldn't go out with the intention of watching birds, but
I would take a pair of binoculars on a walk.
Right, just in case.
Yes.
And my interest is specifically birds of prey.
Right.
The big ones.
The big ones.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah. Buzzard, red kite, peregrine falcon. Oh, that's a classic. What's the red kite? There's a
bird called a kite. Oh yeah. A red kite. Recently reintroduced. Yeah. Very popular.
Fantastically successful reintroduction program in the Oxfordshire countryside. Whoa. Yeah.
This is now a bird watching podcast. Kn can identify them by their classic forked tail.
Okay have you seen the green parakeets in London? No I love a green bird. Right green. Yeah you
wouldn't. They look tropical. They are. They are. They escaped from someone's. No there's like
so many urban legends about who yeah who introduced them
It was like so I think I'm on my street. It was like all that lady down the road. It was her. Oh really
They're awesome
Yeah, it's like it's an a C mat song Humphrey Bogart
Jimmy Hendrix, they're all credited with like
Yeah, It was like, people say it was at a Jimi Hendrix concert,
he had these birds and then they got loose.
But I mean, again, it's like...
Oh my God, the other day when I was getting the train,
the guy that sold me a coffee was like,
see that pigeon down there?
There was a pigeon on the train tracks, just like hanging out.
He was like, that got electrocuted two hours ago.
It had been conked out for an hour.
Yeah, got electrocuted properly.
He saw it be electrocuted.
Conked out for one hour.
They thought it was dead, done for.
Wakes up, bomb upright,
just couldn't wake.
Made its way along the track
and was just like hanging out, zombified.
Like, I'm alive but what the fuck happened?
And so I go, can't someone from the station hanging out zombified like I'm alive but what the fuck happened?
And so I go can't someone from the station call the vet or something and they were no
this happens happened before the vets won't come I said why?
The vets apparently say that pigeons are just like flying rats and so they just won't come
in.
Yeah I think it would be a considerable waste of resources to try and heal every pigeon
in London.
They've got electricuted on trains.
It looked mad.
Oh my god, someone needs to interview the pigeon and be like, what did you see?
Yeah, what happened?
That's amazing. Did you get a video of it?
I got a fit photo, good photo. I'll show you at the end.
Fantastic, looking forward to that.
Anyway, while you're still writing your answers, let's go for a quick break.
Obviously that's post.
We're not having a real break.
You've done podcasts before.
Sometimes it gets like, what?
Oh, I'm struggling with this one.
Oh, I'm struggling with this one. Yeah, I'm glad to be over here and I can ask a few questions that are relatively common
knowledge in Australia, but it's fun to ask.
And also it's just, it's interesting to see what you think of Australia.
These answers will be like, you go, these are the funny little names you have.
Something like this.
To be fair, we live in Britain so
we cannot throw stones there are regular there are regular um questions about like there was
one about shittas in recently which is an english town yeah that's one just called crap stone
yeah i like that one
Crapster. Yeah. I like that one.
All right. There's a place in Italy as well called Crapola. Which I like. Oh, that's awesome.
Crapola. Is that where the word comes from?
Maybe. It's not a great city to be honest.
Oh my god, these are all fantastic. And I think that the real one really fits in with
the vibe that you've all got.
I think it is.
All right.
Have you toured in Australia?
No.
No, I've been there, but we haven't performed there.
I would love to go.
Yeah.
I've never been to Australia.
We've got the big festival in-
Melbourne.
In our autumn.
Yeah, Melbourne, yeah.
I mean, if you, yeah, I mean,
if you could put in a good word for us,
we'd love to come to Melbourne.
Where do you live?
Melbourne.
Hmm.
It's pretty handy.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I didn't get down that far when I went.
I did the classic-
Yeah, English never do.
They go to Sydney and travel north.
Yeah. I know.
I did, I went, at least- Oh, the other way round. Yeah. Cairns. Damn. Right, yeah. north. Yeah, I went, at least, yeah.
Cairns, damn.
Right, yeah. I've never been to Cairns,
but yeah, that is the classic.
And I think that makes sense.
Melbourne, I don't think Melbourne's particularly exciting
for an English person.
Oh.
No, I just, I mean, it's a great place to live.
I guess when you get to Sydney.
But it's a bit Englishy.
You're kind of like.
Not Englishy, but you'd go there, like,
oh, this is a Sydney.
I've been to cities before.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Whereas Sydney is like that,
plus it has the bridge and the opera house.
Yeah, yeah.
Similar to Melbourne only, it's got like pretty things.
We need to get a festival going in Hump2D.
Yes.
There is a Darwin Comedy Festival now, so.
Oh yeah, I've heard of it.
You know, you could definitely do the double there.
Yeah.
It's like quite small, but the people show up because there's not, it's not like a,
Melbourne's like open in, for Australasians, anyone can put on a show at Melbourne, like
Ed Rogus.
Yeah, that's quite true of like rural areas in England as well.
The gigs are always great.
The gigs are always packed.
We used to do some rural tours in like middle of nowhere and there would always be such fun gigs.
The kind of place where you go there and you know like if they give you dinner before the gig, one dinner was like soup and goats cheese from this farmer, the man who was like it's from my own goat.
That's amazing. That was in a village called Black Dog. The village. Yes, another good question.
There was one gig we did where we had to, they told us we had to find a point in our
show. Show's normally like an hour long. We had to find interval halfway through so everyone
could have a ploughman's. They were like, they won't, they'll revolt. If there's not
a ploughman's, I'll be through like we need to get people through the bar.
So we have to have the cheese ploughman.
And we also had a cheese ploughman
and I'll say it killed the second half of the show.
Cause there was a lot of cheese on the ploughman.
Right, yeah.
Okay. So no one was, everyone's sort of in a coma.
Yeah.
No one's paying attention.
You say, do we have to have a break?
Can't we just end it there?
What a beautiful finish to the show, a cheese ploughman. Yeah. No one's paying attention. You say, do we have to have a break? Can't we just end it there? What a beautiful finish to the show of cheese platters.
No one's stopping that.
["The Last Supper"]
Hmm.
Tables have turned here.
I know, now I'm worried that,
maybe I didn't put enough effort into that.
Hmm. Hmm. It's like when you finish an exam, you're like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no ones I've got in there. Okay, good. Rose is getting extra pages.
I bet Rose got extra pages on all her exams.
When the hand goes up.
When the hand goes up, you go, oh shit.
You know when you're the first one to put your hand up and you're like, yeah.
I used to do that just to cite people out after five minutes.
Do they still do written exams?
How?
Do they still do written exams or is it on computers? Do you know?
I don't know. I'm trying to write BT stop.
The story of an invigilator who, I don't know, ran out of extra pages.
What the hell? What the hell?
What the hell?
How long?
The more you talk, the longer it's going to take.
I've got myself into a...
Yeah, me too.
...a little story's too long.
She's going through every little detail.
Fuck. Hang on a minute.
It just has to be an overview.
Thank you. I know what a synopsis is. Ha ha ha.
Josh wasn't that long ago.
Still goes in 2017.
Yeah, I mean that was quite a long time.
Was that two years?
It's like last year.
Yeah, it was a long time ago.
The Guardian thought there was a nice chemistry between the three main characters and the
series was funny in an arse cozy, safe, familial, familiar sort of way.
Yeah, very safe, familiar.
Safe is such a funny word to throw in. The other ones are all positive, but safe.
Yeah.
It's like that's just a negative way of saying cozy.
I guess it is cozy. Yeah.
Yeah, cozy, but you don't need a-
Yeah, it's safe. Very route one. No. No risks of being taken here.
I don't think that's that. What's your run of the mill sitcom? It was fun to do though.
Yeah I bet. Was that like 19 episodes? It would have been a lot of shooting days. Yeah with the
tree series. Yeah. That's long for an English comedy.
Yeah.
It's the classic English.
It's a number of six.
Yeah.
And two series and a half.
Two series of six, yeah.
But yeah.
Neurotic slacker is what they've described your character.
That's a great.
Yeah.
She was quite mental.
Posh?
Were you posh?
Yeah, posh.
Yeah, neurotic, I think sums it up.
Unpredictable and strange.
Socially inept.
So pretty, pretty much similar to me.
Pretty big acting role then.
Yeah.
How'd you find that?
Yeah, real stretch, real stretch.
Sorry, it's coming.
I know, what the hell?
It's been three hours.
It's been three hours,
we're still waiting for the responses.
I feel like a pigeon who's been electrocuted.
I don't know where I am anymore.
I've come to, what's going on?uted. I don't know where I am anymore. I've come to what's going on.
What am I doing here?
Who are you?
That's such a fun...
such a fun story.
I really, I mean I'm...
I'm not pleased with that.
It is long, I can see it.
Oh fuck, well that's giving you an advantage.
Come here. And I'm not pleased with it.
That's gonna take him half an hour to read out.
I'm not pleased with it.
It's the pressure of being on zero,
knowing it's double points.
Oh.
I forgot it was double points.
Well, you're not gonna like this, it's triple points.
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