Who Knew It with Matt Stewart - 123 - Sam Lake, Krystal Evans and Rory Spence

Episode Date: January 20, 2025

Who Knew It with Matt Stewart is a comedy game show podcast hosted by Australian comedian Matt Stewart. This episode features Sam Lake (I've Had a Rosé), Krystal Evans (Chris and Krystal Are In Heat) and Rory Spence!This episode was recorded live at the Monkey Barrel in Edinburgh!Check out Matt's stand up special: https://youtu.be/cWStRpI-BhESupport the show via http://patreon.com/dogoonpod and you can submit questions for the show!See the podcast/Matt live: https://www.mattstewartcomedy.com/Check out Matt's podcast network: https://dogoonpod.com/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Download the free CBC News app or visit cbcnews.ca. Welcome to Who Knew It with Matt Stewart. The show where the guesswork, the wrong answers. I'm the tit with Matt Stewart. The show where the guests write the wrong answers. I'm the titular Matt Stewart and my second banana slash score tonight is Glaswegian comedian Rory Spence. Welcome Rory. So good because if it wasn't for you there'd be not a single Scottish person on the show, do not? Yeah, I did notice that. It's pretty standard for Edinburgh. That's how it goes here. Not many Scottish people.

But I would say this, I'm glad the others are here so I can understand one of us. Rory, do you want to introduce our guests? Yes. Our first guest is multi-award nominated American comedian, now based in the UK, is Crystal Evans. Thank you. Thanks so much for being involved, Crystal. Oh, thanks for having me. I'm a fan of the show, so this is very exciting. It's so good.

Yeah, definitely had heard of it before. I love that. Yeah. It's feeling like the United Nations now. Well, you know, maybe the white United Nations, but probably not the most. But, you know, so far three of us, I wonder if our final guest will also have his own cultural identity. Let's find out.

Our second guest this week won Leicester Square Theatre New Comedian of the Year and Hastings French Newcomer of the Year. It's Sam Lake! Crystal was just laughing at how pathetic one of those awards sounds. Woo! Crystal was just laughing at how pathetic one of those awards sounds. I'm a big deal in Hastings. Hastings! Wait, what does that mean? That feels pretty good. You won Newcomer of the Year in Hastings. Yeah, but the final of the competition was in the back of a lady's house.

What did you have to do? In a word, perform. That's sick. I mean hey that's where the battles is right? One of the big ones. Yeah. Yeah. There you go. And that was newcomer, the newcomer battle. Yeah I shot everyone in the eye. All right are we ready to play? So ready. It might be too late for this, but any questions about the format? No, I think we got it from the 15 minutes that we listened to your most recent episode. Are you? Chris, so you are a fan.

So this is the way the show works. I ask a relatively obscure trivia question. Contestants have to write a convincing fake answer. I then read their answers, as well as the real one, and they have to guess which one is correct. The first question actually comes from a Glaswegian. Is Lewis Gemmell in tonight? I mean, it really wasn't that far to come, Lewis.

To be fair, it's pretty snowy. I had a hard time getting here. We'll give him a break. Rory, I'll assume that you were backing me up then. Annunciate me. Bit of fun. Bit of fun. You like this dynamic we've got going on early? It's not bad, mate. I did. Nearly every question I picked, I had no idea what that was, but,

nearly every question I picked tonight was from someone I thought might have been here, and we're not off to a hot start, but, Lewis's question is, what was an 18th century slang term for an egg? So in the 18th century, they had a slang term for chicken eggs. You just gotta come up with a slang term for an egg.

Yeah, I got it. 18th century. This is how the scoring works for the game. So you get a point if your fake answer is guessed by the other contestant, and you get another point if you correctly guess the answer. And by the way, I'm also playing as the house. Boo! You're the house. Okay, a couple of house fans, but in general they were booing.

So I put into my own fake answers for each question with the help of the question writers. So each of us can score up to two points per round, which seems fair, but the probability actually favors me, the house. And the house always wins. So if you've listened to previous episodes, you'll know that is not necessarily the case. And for that reason, the guests get triple points in the final round. So most of our questions come from our great

Patreon supporters. If you want to submit a question, sign up on any of the Patreon.com slash dig on pod, which is linked in the show notes. Any Patrons in? Woo! Oh, that's sick. All right, so the answers are in, is that right?

The answers are in. Thank you Rory. Here's the question. What was the 18th century slang term for an egg? Here are your options. Pants bulge. Cloaca snack. Cackling fart. Falinks.

Gooey rock. Or Glasgow Roundy. Alright. What was the last one? The last one, Glasgow Roundy. I reckon I probably, can you say that just in case? Glasgow Roundy. Oh, I think that's going to be... Glasgow Roundy. I reckon I probably can you say that just in case? Glasgow Roundy?

Oh, I think that's gonna be... Well you don't have to worry about it. The only one you're trying to guess is the correct one. I have a question about the format. Okay. So Sam, do you want to have first crack at you? Okay, I'll just point out for anyone listening, I had a quite camp reaction to cloaca snack. Because anyone listening to just the sound of my voice will be like, what a lovely butch alpha male.

I don't think it's... I definitely know it's not five of those answers okay what one of them can you read them out again there's only six so I think you I know maths your pants bulge cloaca snack cackling fart phalanx gooey rock or Glasgow roundy I'm gonna say the fart one firstly because far and then and it just sound the other five sound more preposterous farts are funny aren't they are I said easy love I'm gonna go for that because the other one sounds too preposterous yeah but cackling far. Pretty rigid. Also, eggs smell like farts.

Exactly. I think we're not supposed to work together. Oh, sorry. You're doing so well. I think that's really nice, you know? That's a nice angle. Crystal, you can go for the salmon, you can go your own way. Oh, well, no. I think it's going to be the Glasgow roundy

because the guy that submitted it was from Glasgow, yeah So I think he's like got a little bit of home turf on the on the on the skin. Is that a is that a term you use here? Is that hometown on the skin? Yeah, that's right. I think that's a universal term. I'm a local. All right, let's be locking that in. Yeah, yeah. Here's who wrote the answers. Pants bulge, that was Crystal. Hey! That's classic Crystal. That's me.

That's classic Crystal. Yeah. Obsessed. With eggs or bulges? Bulges, yeah. I hear that. I'm not really sure what I meant by that. Cloaca snack, that was the house.

Funny, not true. Yeah. I mean, it's sort of true. It's just, I think that's what they call them now, from now on. What is the cloaca? It's their arse general. It's the both, birds have one arse slash urethra.

It's all in one. That's a cloaca. Oh, that's so efficient. Could you imagine an all in one model? That'd be lovely. Yeah, we evolved beyond it. But really, I think we've gone backwards. One hole, one garble.

Yeah. Wouldn't that bring us all together, wouldn't it? Bring back the cloaca. We've gone back one hole one gobble. Yeah Bring back the cloaca That's what I'm running on next election. Yeah, please do. Yeah, please do. We were the cloaca party Falinks that was Sam. Yeah All right, can I just make a quick request here when I say one of their great guests said it no matter how shit you think it is if you could just give him a little little something give him a little help makes it worse I panicked and I just wrote down the name of a Pokemon okay I think it's a great name for an egg.

I think you should have gone with Bulbasaur. Oh, yeah. No chance he's the one with actual eggs. I'm not a nerd. You and your bulges. Gooey Rock, that was also the house. Glasgow Roundy, Chris went for that. That was in fact Rory.

Fuck sake. It was tricked by the other Glaswegians. It was someone from Glasgow Roundy. So Rory, this normally doesn't happen. Normally the sidekick will write. Did I get it right? Oh, I should say that I guess. The correct answer is Cackling Flour.

Woo! The correct answer is Cackling Fla. Yeah, so Rory, I guess you've scored yourself a point. Yeah, I was going to ask you, that's not a house point. No, that's a, you were now, it's alright. I should explain, Matt told me to write answers nobody would pick. Well I said, but I also told you to write funny ones, so I guess, so yeah we were 0 for 2 there. How long did he have to think about that? Oh he just, not much time.

Okay, that's fine then. As long as you get the same amount of time. I wrote it while you were writing yours. I just wanted to make Matt say something in Scullis. That's all I wanted to say. Let's go round the... getting further away further away. Oh, mum is gasping. It sounds like a slur when you say it. Rory, after us the next question maybe you can give us a score update. But I think most people probably have it handled. Anyway, the next question comes from Amy Moretti from Cumbernauld in Scotland, Newinton, Australia.

Amy! Oh! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Amy, you legend, you've really made up for whoever that other guy was. Amy's question is, which of these are real species of spider so you've just got to come up with a fake spider species. Now can we get a score update Rory?

Yeah after round one Sam is on one point. I am also on oneal and the house are both on zero. You booing Christopher, amazing. Are you booing me? Yeah, what the hell is that? Alright, while you're writing your answers, here's some more info about cackling farts. Lewis, the questioner on it, he said to me, but he wrote, Cackling fart first appears in Francis Gross's classical dictionary of the vulgar tongue in 1785, in which Gross attempted to document all the slang words that Samuel Johnson had left out of his dictionary of the vulgar tongue in 1785 in which Gross attempted to document all the slang words that Samuel Johnson had left out of his dictionary of the English language 30 years earlier. At the time, cackler was slang for a hen because of the cackling sounds they were thought to make.

They were thought to make. They never heard a hen. They were guessing at the sounds that a hen might make? What sound do they make? Isn't it just like bop bop bop? Yeah. Is that a cackle? Is that a cackle?

That's cacklish. Yeah, yeah, I guess. Can I just say, it feels weirdly sexist, but I haven't worked out how yet. Cackling fuck. Yeah. Let us know when you do figure it out. I'm going to try and fix sexism in this podcast. Yeah. Yeah. Let us know when you do figure it out. I'm gonna try and fix sexism in this podcast. Yeah.

All right, the answers are in for question number two. Which of these is a real species of spider? Long legged scream fuzz. Yellow backed bot swain. David Bowie spider. Daddy long nipples, Flappy Snatch or Matt Stewart. Alright I think Crystal it's your crack first. Some of them are so silly. I mean, the long nipples thing. But it's almost so silly, it might be real.

Can I have, what was the first two? Long-legged scream fuzz and yellow-backed bot swain. I think I'm gonna go with yellow-backed bot swain because that sounds like a real spider. Sorry, it's not a funny answer, it's just, I just like to win. No, that's good. Just for those who have listened before,

who prefers when people try to be funny by cheering? And who prefers when people are trying to win? It's a mix, but people do seem to prefer when people take it a bit seriously. Fair, yeah. Wait, who likes it when people take it a bit seriously. Fair, yeah. Wait, who likes it when they're funny and trying to win? Whee! Well, I'll try better next time.

You can't have both. Alright, that's... Crystal's locked in. What do you think, Sam? Did you say this question? You sent in this question. Can you just tell me what the answer is? Amy, no! Amy, no! Okay, I'll play it. Um, is this, did you say this question, you sent in this question. Can you just tell me what the answer is?

Amy, no! Amy, no! Okay, I'll play by the rules. But she just has the question. She doesn't do any of the answers. You submit a question but you don't know the answer. One of these Aims. Well, she knows the answer. Oh, you know the answer? Alright, okay.

It's not like she's looking for advice. I'm like... Amy actually also wrote one of the fake ones too. Oh did you? Okay! You sneaky bitch! This really... Yeah. Jesus.

I'm so sorry, could you read the list out again? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I might want to change it now that I know. No, you're locked in. Long-legged scream fuzz, yellow-backed bot swain, David Bowie spider, daddy long nipples, Flappy Snatch or Matt Stewart. How long can a nipple be? On a spider. Before you go, that's a long nipple. I think it might be the David Bowie one because I feel like they name I think it might be the David Bowie one because I feel like they name things after famous people

if they're of enough prestige. So I think I'm gonna lock in the David Bowie. Fuck, I think he's right. I'm gonna hate it if I was. Oh. All right, he's the one who wrote the answers. Matt Stewart, that was written by Rory. Slappy Snatch. That was Crystal.

Just what I hope happens tonight. Daddy Long Nipples was the house. Long-legged Scream Fuzz was Amy, okay, the house Crystal you went for yellow backed bot swain that was Sam I might want to change it be like no Sam is also correct. It's the David Bowie spider It's the David Bowie Spider. Okay, I'm gonna start trying now. Can I just say this is lovely for me because I'm actually really thick. And what are you like at playing games?

It's a great night for me, it really is. Alright, question three comes from Dave Coupe from Haptan in England, the internet Dave. And where is Haptan? I should have checked that, it sounded gnolls to me. Whereabouts? Near Manchester. Near Manchester? Where's Manchester? Alright, Dave Coupe's question is, name a small town in East Lancashire, England. So just a funny named little town.

Where's Lancashire? Is that not near here hopefully? It's near Bramches. Is that the answer to everything? Alright, while you're writing your answers I'll let the audience know a bit more about the David Bowie spider. According to Christopher Hasseotaitis, that's not quite right but it's something like that, David Bowie is now the namesake for a species of ferocious

looking spider indigenous to Malaysia and other parts of Southeast Asia. The spider, part of the tropical genus Heteropoda, more commonly called the Huntsman spider, has bright orange hairs on its red, brown body and legs and sports vibrant red markings on its underside. Bowie's hair was equally vibrant in the early 70s during his Ziggy Stardust phase. He's really trying to make it make sense. The backing band from the Ziggy Stardust character was called the Spiders from Mars. And Bowie also kicked off side two of his 1997 album Never Let Me Down with the song Glass Spider. So yeah, makes sense now that you think about it.

According to Amy, the species was discovered by Dr. Peter Jaeger in Malaysia, and Dr. Jaeger is also named spiders after Greta Thunberg and Malala Yousafzai. So yeah. Did I not quite? He sounds really lazy. No, I'm not mad at that one. I'm just laughing at someone saying I like you so so. So yeah. Did I not quite? He sounds really lazy.

No, I'm not mad at that one. I'm just laughing at someone saying like I got bitten by Milan. All right, answers are in for question number three. Which of these is a small town in East Lancashire in England? Butt crack. in East Lancashire in England? Buttcrack. Laughter Crapton.

Clit Hero. Laughter High Fartington. Riz Hole East. Or Oppression of Scottish Cultrition? It could be any of those. You have to say them again I think. So I think we're back to you Sam. You got butt crack. I think. Sam again alright. So I think we're back to you Sam. You got butt crack?

I do. You got crapton? You got clit hero? You got high fartington? You got Rizhole East or you've got oppression of Scottish cultureton? I know that, I feel likerapton is a real place. I think that's a real place. There's another place that I know is a real place

called Fingering Ho. I feel like Crapton is near the Fingering Ho. Could I lock in Crapton, please? All right. Sam's locking in Crapton. Just because I really like it, I'll do in Crapton, please. Alright. Sam's locking in Crapton. Just because I really like it, I'll do Clit Hero. It must be that. It must be that.

Instead of Guitar Hero. There's only one button. Now that would be a fun night in. Still can't find it. Alright, here we go. Here's the road the answers. Rory, do you want to read them out this time? I feel like I'm not giving you enough to do. I'd also love to hear all of these said with a glass-wation accent. So, Buttcrack, that was written by The House. Res Hall East was written by Sam.

They're fun, right? High Fartington was written by Crystal. Oppression of Scottish Cultureton was me. Surprising no one. And Crapton that Sam went for, that was The House. Oh! In particular, Dave Coupe, the question writer there. Is he, he's not here?

He's not here. Good, because I fucking deck him. Which means the correct answer that Krusty went for is Cletero. Shall we go? Which means the correct answer that Crystal went for is Clitheroe. Shall we go? So that's a point for Crystal and a point for the house there Rory. Geez, that's brought us to the halfway mark. Here's the fourth of six questions. This one actually comes from Edinburgh, Scotland. Is Nathan needs a username in. Woo!

Yeah! Yeah! Woo! Woo! All right, Nathan's question is, what did Megan the stallion tweet on the 21st of November, 2011? Now, are you laughing because I said the instead of the?

I'd say the. Because I did Google it and it said... I don't know. It's written Megan the stallion, but I read it was... Doesn't matter. I'm actually... What did you say before? I'm down with the skin.

What is the question, sorry? What did Megan the Spallion tweet on the 21st of November, 2011? So this was, she would have been, she's pre-fame. She's probably, she'd be 16, 17-ish around that time, I think. And while you're writing your answers, here's a little more info about Clit Hero.

And this is gonna be a bit sad because according to Dave, they've recently dropped the dash between clit and hero. So now it reads like, clithero. It'll always be clit hero to me. Dave says that this was because locals were getting fed up of being a laughing stock in the surrounding towns and villages, a laughing stock for being clit hero? What is wrong with East Lancashire? But how good's this? Clit hero

is in the Ribble Valley. Ribble for her pleasure. Bit of fun there, bit of fun. We'd have a bit of fun tonight. If we can't have a bit of fun what can we do? According to the Ribble Valley website, take a walk around the historic market town of Clit Hero and you'll no doubt be enticed by its inviting cafes and characterful boutiques. Clit Hero is a vibrant market town with a bustling high street and side streets full of character, revealing independent shops, galleries, eateries and more. Noteworthy amongst the long-standing independent shops is Cowman's famous sausage shop, whose reputation for its sausages spreads far and wide,

but beyond clit hero. I mean, it's wild that they're trying to avoid the clit hero thing. And then like, I mean, it's all pretty subtle stuff. But there's a bit in there as well. Do they have a taco shop? Oh yeah. Fish tacos on main. Highly recommend.

All right. Oh my gosh, it looks like. No, no, you're all right. Hey, oh, while they're still writing their answers, let's go for a quick break. After writing their answers, let's go for a quick break. going on and what that means for you and for Canada. This situation has changed very quickly. Helping make sense of the world when it matters most. Stay in the know. Download the free CBC News app or visit cbcnews.ca.

And we're back. Woohoo! Serious question on the form. What did Megan Thee Stallion tweet on the 21st of November 2011? The second E was a typo. I don't care, I'm leaving it. Option two. Just heard Steve Jobs step down as CEO of Apple. More like a CEO of Apple. It was a typo. I don't care, I'm leaving it. (*audience laughs*) Option two, just heard Steve Jobs step down as CEO of Apple.

More like Steve looking for jobs, am I right? (*audience laughs*) Megan V, that is some good, good topical stuff. (*audience laughs*) At the time. Option three, I can't take it, bitch. I'm buying a pony. I don't know why, it's got an exclamation mark,

I should have said, I can't take it bitch, I'm buying a pony. I looked that shit up and it's in my budget. Emoji of cherries, emoji of horse head. That's option three, option four, can't believe it's been ten years since Will Young won... Can't believe it's been ten years since Will Young won the final of Pop Idol. Option five.

This Twilight saga is going to take all these kids money now It's a part two to breaking dawn when will the shit end just fuck the wolf Or finally is your husband a clit hero I'm still nodding, still nodding. All right, Crystal, what do you think? Oh, I think, ah. Do you need to hear any again? Do you know, some of them are too long to be 2011. Oh, you've got a character limit.

They did have a character limit in 2011. So I was gonna, I think the, I'm gonna say the second E was a typo, fuck it, I'm keeping it. I think that was it. Locking that in for Crystal. The rest are too funny. Yeah, she's not known for a comedy, right? Not usually. Or is she?

I don't know. She's not known for her spelling. Yeah. Yeah, spelling. Wow. Yeah. Hot, fire. Are you gonna ask me to edit that out? I think it's the horse one. Stallion, horse, pony.

Buying pony. Yeah. All right. Locking that in for- Oh, you don't, you're not with me. No, that's fine. I mean, I'm pretty sure they're all on top of 2011, me and the stallion. Twitter. Oh, we all. Yeah, we're all following her back then, I's fine. I mean, I'm pretty sure they're all on top of 2011 Megan Thee Stallion Twitter.

Oh, we all? Yeah, we're all following her back then, I'm sure. Alright, here's who wrote the answers. Is your husband a clit hero? That was a question asked by Rory. Well, technically. Thank you. I did write that right before you said she was 16.

I then thought, am I going to change that? No. You did have quite a bit of time to change. Yes. But you won't change, will you Rory? You've said that in the past. And I will again. What else do we got?

I can't believe it's 10 years since Will Young won the final of Pop Idol. That was Sam. I knew that was you. Yeah, because it's really gay. Just heard Steve Jobs stepped down as CEO of Apple. More like Steve looking for jobs, am I right? That was Nathan, aka The House. looking for jobs am I right? That was Nathan aka the house. That was good. Crystal went for the second, he was a typo, I don't care I'm leaving it. Unfortunately that was the house.

Went for the house there. Sam went for I can't take it bitch, I'm buying a pony. That was Crystal. Oh! Oh how the tables have turned. Oh I hate women now. Rory, you want to read out the correct answer? Yep, the correct answer was,

the Twilight saga is going to take all these kids, Rory. She was funny. Now it's a part two of Breaking Dawn, when will this shit end? Just fuck the wolf. That was a beautiful rating. It's a lot of exclamation marks. end just fuck the wolf it's a lot of exclamation marks you can't see this but every sentence has at least one exclamation mark bloody hell that brings us to the penultimate question should we get a score update yeah at the end of that round I am still

on one point thank you the house is on two points, Crystal is on two points, and Sam is in the lead on three points. I like this and there's no applause, it's all sort of shocked woos. I think they can tell that me and Crystal want this too much. There's a tension in the room. Alright, penultimate question here. This one also comes from Glasgow. Is Wilson Deluxe in tonight?

That's a great name. Is regular Wilson in tonight? All right, Wilson's question is such a good name. Wilson's question is, what was the name of the US Senator from Delaware who served from 1810 to 1821? Now if you do not, still write a fake answer. But obviously it's a quirky name of sorts. Don't give us a hint.

And this is a name that Wilson Deluxe thought was not worth it, you know what I mean? It's the name of a US Senator. Oh my god, Crystal, you're American. Do you know your Delawarean senators from history? I majored in that. Oh my god. While you're writing your answers, here's some more info about Megan the Stallion. Go to helloreiko.co.uk, this is where I go for my Megan the Stallion info. And I've got so much here in case you needed time to write and you've both already finished. Sorry, we're very efficient. I mean, I don't, is there anything you want to know about Megan the Stallion?

Yeah, go for it, yeah, yeah, okay. Unless you've been living under a rock, it's more than likely you've heard the famous lyrics, I'm a savage, classy, bougie ratchet. Do the whole song. That's all it lists. For all those unaware, the genius behind this viral sensation is none other than Texan rapper, Megan Thee Stallion.

The big old freak entertainer was born on the 15th of February, 1995, making her 29 years old at the time of writing. That's my dad's birthday. Is your dad Megan Thee Stallion? Yes. When is your dad 29? Did you say big ol' freak? Yeah I know, wow. Is that one of her songs? I hope so. I assume that's what it meant. Her self-described Aquarius energy is clear as day. Through her eccentric fashion sense, her excitable rapping style and overall free-spirited vibe. All right, oh my god. The answers are in. And this is going to be hard because these are all brilliant.

Question five, penultimate question here. What was the name of the US Senator from Delaware who served from 1810 to 1821? Option one, Rusty Trombone. (*audience laughs*) Option two, Outer Bridge Horsey III. (*audience laughs*) Option three, Abstinence True Dick.

(*audience laughs*) Option three, abstinence true dick. Option floor, option floor. Thinking of a pelvic floor maybe, but um... Option four, Glen Gary Glen Ross Glen dinning. Option five, Linda Gary, Glenn Ross, Glenn Dinning. Option five, Linda Mikuchisuo. I'll tell ya, I only just got it as I was reading it. A beautiful name, beautiful name. Or finally, Megan the Senator. Oh, Sam, do you need any of those again or you got one to lock in? I'd like them all again.

Okay. Rory, do you want to read them out? These could really use a bit of Glaswegian. Here we have Rusty Trombone. We have Outer Bridge Horsey the third. We have Abstinence Trudick. We have Glen Gary, Glen Ross, Glen Denning. We have Linda McCooutchey-saur. I'm like, oh yeah, we've got a good band. It's from the Italian community.

And we have Megan B. Serritor. I think it might be abstinence true dick. Is there anything that stops us from giving the same answer? No. Well, there you go. Apart from potentially giving all the points that I have. I don't want to have the same points as you on this. I wanna get the point.

And I support women now. So I support you. No, no, no, you know what? Go for that, go for that, it's fine. No, what, oh, this has become psychological now. Just go, no, no, no know what, go for that, go for that, it's fine. No, what, oh, this has become psychological now. No, no, no, you should go for that, you should definitely do that. No, no, this is a triple bluff. Crystal is very untrustworthy.

I'm sticking with abstinence. True dick, they get the answer. I love sex. All right, locking that in for Sam. First one was Rusty Trombone, then it was abstinence, true dick, and then it was... Alright, locking that in for Sam. First one was Rusty Trombone, then it was Absinthe Struedich, and then it was... Glenn Gary, Glenn Ross, Glenn Dinnings, Linda Mikucci, Sore, Megan Lee Sanna, we skipped Outer Bridge, Horsey the Third.

I'm going to go with that one, because the Horsey one, the third. I mean Linda Mikucci is Sore is very funny, but women weren't even allowed to vote at that point so that's not... I'm related to her on my mom's side. So yeah I'll do the third dealie. Alright. If it turns out to be Linda, what a trailblazer. She got him before she could even vote so I think that would be really impressive. No wonder she saw. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.

It's not necessarily always quite so horny. Would you call this horny? I don't know. It's probably not that horny. Alright, here's who wrote the answers. Rusty Trombone, that was Crystal. Linda Mikuchisor, that was Sam. Now, can I check Crystal, because I did break during that one. Did that ruin your chance of choosing it, or did you already know that that you already know that? Linda? No, because women were... Yeah, okay. Because I was gonna give Sam a pity point, but if you weren't gonna go for it anyway... What? He's ahead! Yeah, if you weren't gonna go for it

anyway, then that's fine. Megan Thee Senator. I got really mad. That was Rory. Glenn Gary, Glenn Ross, Glenn Dinning. That was the house. Pretty good stuff, that one actually. Pretty good stuff. So you got the movie Glenn Gary, Glenn Ross. And then you've got the Western Australian footballer Glenn Ross Dinning. All right.

I really thought that would play better in the room. Ah. Abstinence True Dick. Sam, you went for that. That was Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh. Abstinence, true dick. Sam, you went for that. That was written by Wilson Deluxe, okay, the house. Meaning the correct answer is Outer Bridge Horsey the Third.

Yeah. Yeah. I like how you build up tension, you leave the last two to last. And like, oh, this is like really a coincidence that these are the last two every time. This is actually a really good show. Really good, yeah.

I wish we'd listened to it before. So that means, Rory, you can get one point to the house there and one point to Crystal. Going to the final round, this is worth triple points for you two. The house can only get single points. So it's truly still anyone's game. It's going to be hard from the house, to be honest.

What are the scores Rory, before we go into it? The scores going into the final round are me on one point, and everyone else is tied on three points. Whoa! You can still win. Who was that to? Who are you talking to? You can still win.

Everyone can still win. Who was that to? Who are you talking to? You can still win. Just have fun up there. Alright, so the final question. You wouldn't know this having listened only 15 minutes, but we always finish with a movie synopsis question. So this will be your longest one. Tonight's one is not too long.

Just a short paragraph, probably about three sentences, four, two, three, four sentences long. A movie synopsis, for a movie hopefully you haven't heard of before. This question actually comes from a Glaswegian. Man, they sent in some questions. Are you in tonight?

Alan Kerr. How far away are we from Glasgow? An hour. Yeah, an hour. It is the snow. I made it. I'm trying to save his feelings. We don't give a fuck about Alan.

He's a pain. Should they let me know before? I could have given some people are left. So, Alan's question is, what is the synopsis of the movie The Assignment? What is the synopsis of the movie The Assignment? Do you want a year for it or are you happy just to go looser than that? Yeah, a year. Oh, yeah, give us a year, yeah. The year was 2016.

That's the year it was made. Yes, the year it was released. I wasn't about to start a picture. The year was 2016. I was watching the film The Assignment, made in 1972. Oh, while you're writing your answers, here's a little more info about Outer Bridge Horsey III. This is according to Wiki. Outer Bridge Horsey III was born This is according to Wiki. Outer Bridge Horsey the Third

was born March the 5th 1777. He was an American lawyer and politician. He was a member of the Federalist Party who served in the Delaware General Assembly as the fourth Attorney General of Delaware from 1806-1810 and as United States Senator from Delaware from 1810 to 1821. Yeah, that does, that sort of info will trouble some. And you'll almost always get a walk out with some info that hot. He was actually the third Outer Bridge horsey. But not the last.

He had a son named Outer Bridge horsey the last. He had a son named Outerbridge Horsey IV, who had a son named Outerbridge Horsey V, who had a son named Outerbridge Horsey VI. Horsey VI was a United States diplomat who served as First Secretary-council of Rome, 1947 to 1955, deputy chief of mission in Tokyo, 1956 to 1958, DCM in Rome, 1959 to 1963, and US ambassador to Czechoslovakia. Me! He also had a son named Outer Bridge Horsey, but it doesn't say if he was the seventh or not. And I couldn't find any info on him, but he should be alive now. His dad was still alive in the 80s. That's pretty sick.

Oh my god, I didn't check. Is Outer Bridge Horsey in tonight? Imagine. Imagine. Oh my god hurry up. It's just like three sentences. Wow. Oh if you're still writing I can, Crystal do you want to know more information about Megan Thee Stallion? I would like more information about that. I've got more on Megan Thee. She's a proud Texan though through tracks like last week in HTX and Big Drank we see her unapologetically making use of southern slang and pronunciation. Fashion-wise Meg is never afraid to represent where she comes from as seen with this hot girl cowgirl ensemble she threw together.

There would have been a picture there I didn't I haven't I did not read I just I can imagine I like Megan thee stallion I'm a fan yeah yeah yeah she's good I think she's like she has a tiny desk concert it's really good you're legit when you go on tiny desk what do you because you're from the the northwest what are your feelings on Texas and that sort of stuff? Are you two? You know Texas is one of those places where it's like, I feel like abroad everybody associates it with like,

you know, bang bang, you know, Republicans and all that. Of course that exists, but now Texas is like, the bigger cities are some of the most liberal places, so. And they have some of the best food, and so, but yeah, no, I've never been there. I went. I went. I went, I, yeah, I've been to, only place in Texas I've been is Austin.

It was so much fun. Yeah, Austin's cool. It was so much fun. Yeah, very cool. And like they say there, stay weird, Texas, or whatever. Is that it? Loads of cities have that fucking slogan. It's so annoying.

It really is. Edinburgh, clit hero. Clit is. Edd and Reh. Clit Hero. Clit Hero. Clit Hero. Say we Clit Hero. Sorry I brought the. I would buy that shirt.

Me too, yeah. I know someone else who would as well. Sorry. We're not going back to it. But I think we all know who we're talking about. We know. Oh my god, you think his son's name is Clit Hero II? The answer room for the final question.

What is the plot for the movie The Assignment? Here are your options. Option one. The President's 14-year-old daughter is travelling to Europe for a school field trip, but secretly, she is on a covert government revenge mission from her father to assassinate the heads of the UN. That's a lot for a 14 year old girl.

There's a lot of heads. The UN's like most countries. All the countries, yeah. 260 people or something. Wow. We're putting it on the watch list. Option two. John Malkovich plays a down-on-his-luck detective who is given one last chance assignment to save his reputation. Find out what happened to beloved children's serial mascot Tony the Tickler. That's option two. Option three, ace assassin Frank Kitchin is double-crossed by gangsters and falls into

the hands of a rogue surgeon known as the Doctor who turns him into a woman. The hit man, now hit woman, sets out for revenge, aided by a nurse named Johnny who also has secrets. That's option three. Option four. Jared and Mike are college roommates but when Mike suddenly dies in a freak beer pong accident, Jared's chances of graduating seem lost without his brainy buddy. Lucky for Jared, Mike's ghost is sticking around to help his pal get a passing grade and hopefully earn his own way into heaven. That's a 90s movie right there.

So that's option four. Option five. Triplets separated at birth, one a spy, one a king, and one a prostitute. Now, when the world's fate lies in the hands of these men, who will they choose? Family, the people, or the earth? With Kyle Minogue, Hugh Jackman, and the monkey from friends. Or finally, after recording a live podcast in an Edinburgh comedy club, four comedians find themselves in a legal battle after one of them said something very contentious and defaming about a TV personality.

Only one of them said it and it probably won't be in the final edit but it happened. Based on a true story. Okay, six strong options there. All very watchable sound films. Unfortunately, only one of these is real. Okay, I'm taking the one I think it really is first. I think it's going to be the one about the guy who got a sex change operation against his will because the word assignment could be like gender assignment and all these things and it just feels like a very misguided 2016 way to be woke.

Do you know what I mean? Like back then they would try to do that shit. I'm going to go with that. All right, I'm locking that in for crystals. That leaves you Sam. I feel like this is an antic would try to do that shit. I'm gonna go with that. All right, lucking that in for Crystal. That leaves you, Sam. I feel like this is an anticlimactic because I think it's that one as well. Sorry.

I'm sorry, is it against the rules for us to have the same answer? No, it's not, it's not. Boo all you want, I want to win. And actually, I think I've heard, I think I've seen the trailer and I think Michelle Rodriguez is in it. I think she plays- Boo! and I think Michelle Rodriguez is in it. I think she plays...

Boo! Sam's a really nice guy. I'm sorry, can we not just boo a woman of colour? Maybe... Maybe let's think before we boo. I did not think we'd have people like that in tonight. I'm so sorry, Sam. Wow.

She's doing her best. If there's any confusion at home, Sam's calling himself a woman of colour. Michelle Rodriguez. Michelle Rodriguez is the woman of colour. Yeah. I'm so sorry you had to hear that. Normally my audiences aren't like that. Is security, can you put your hand up?

Michelle is a surprise guest, she's waiting backstage. No, I'm pretty sure they were just booing you Sam. Um, alright. I think that's the answer. Alright. Is it because you think you've seen the preview? I think I have, yeah. Alright.

Well, interesting. We'll find out how ridiculous or not that is. Your mind. Here's who wrote the answers. After recording a live podcast in an Edinburgh comedy club for comedians, et cetera, that was Rory. Woo! Rory loves a topical joke about the night.

That's pretty much what I instructed him to do. Oh right, sorry. Okay, that's good. No, no, Crystal, I just don't want you thinking he's a one trick pony. No, no. Rory's very good. Thank you.

Thank you. The film's starring, and I wanna hear more about it, Kyle Minogue, Hugh Jackman, and the monkey from Friends, whose actual name is Crystal. It was Crystal. Yeah! I'm pretty sure the monkey from Friends, the actor's name is Crystal.

What? Is it really? I think so. Like the monkey itself is named crystal Yeah, I didn't know that that's cool Genius yeah That's an adult so who played who there so Kyle Minogue probably the spy Yeah, you thought this the monkey is the king. Yeah The prostitute.

Man, that sounds so good. Australian cinema, honestly, underrated. That really, I believed it a little bit. That that might have been an Aussie movie I hadn't seen. One of the few. I love Australian cinema. I totally forgot that those two are Australian. I just threw those names out there.

Do you know what I mean? So yeah, that was another like subconscious genius from Crystal. The coolest thing about it is that Australian cinema could afford to fly Crystal the monkey over. That, geez, that's exciting. She's worth it. She is. I only know that because I used to do a podcast

called Primates About Monkeys, a popular culture, and I did a whole episode about Crystal the monkey. Really? Yeah. Yeah. So you said, I think her name is Crystal. You're like, I am 100% sure.

It was a few years ago. I don't retain knowledge very well. The one about the beer pong accident and the ghost who hung around, that was actually written by Alan, aka The House. Ooh. Alan, aka The House, also wrote the one about the 14 year old girl killing 260 UN heads.

He's got some range. John Malkovich as Tony Zutikla, that was Sam. Hey. He's looking for Tony Zutikla, that was Sam. Hey! No, he's looking for Tony Zutikla. Oh, sorry, yes. Tony Zutikla is played by Michelle Rodriguez. Woo! Woo!

This is a really toxic room. I'm starting to wonder if that's just Edinburgh, you know? Yep. Yeah, that will get them on board. Yeah. Yeah, that will get them on board, yeah. Yeah. I thought Scotland was the kind of place that like, you know, you have a little bit of tit and tat

sort of stuff, but no, they're a bit sensitive here. That's just Moaning Crystal's nicknames. Hey, would you believe this? The real answer was the one about ace assassin, Frank Kitchen, who ended up getting gender assignment surgery. Crystal and Sam are both correct there. And while Rory's tabulating the scores this is what Alan wrote about the movie said although the original screenplay was written in 1978 under the name Tomboy

it was not made into a film until 2016 when everyone involved should have known better. The film stars Michelle Rodriguez, Thank you. Tony Shalhoub, What? and Sigourney Weaver. Monk is in this film.

Rodriguez who plays the lead role both before and after the forced surgery spent four hours each day having male prosthetics and makeup applied. She chose for her character to have the largest penis available. That's so great how the actors can have that kind of, bring that to the table. You think that'd be a director's?

Just a huge choice. Yeah, I want the big one critics didn't love it Ron tomatoes has it at 33% audience like it even less 21% Anthony La Pali Australian actors also in it which I know Krista would love a review by Lee Monson reads it's a stupid movie incompetently constructed and completely oblivious to the poor taste in which it presents the issues of gender fluidity and expression. This film is trash, don't watch it.

As slightly more positive review by Jason Schorhan writes, or reads, the assignment is deeply problematic, graphically violent, and irredeemably stupid. Rodriguez is fine, but the reason this film sticks with you is Weaver, who has never been meaner or funnier. That was a bit of a positive bit. Alright, final score check. Okay, the final scores are in.

We have me still on one. The house is on three points. They've come around to the house. Yeah they have. But tied in first place is Sam and Crystal on six points each. Holy moly that is exciting. What a beautiful finish. We don't do tiebreakers, you are both co-champions. Is the tie broken by who got the most booze?

Where can people find you Sam? I just did your podcast. You just did my podcast. It was so much fun Oh, we loved having you come back. We'd love to. And you too Now that you've heard one episode of the show from the inside. Meet me and Clint hero You can follow me at Mr. Sam Lake. It's, I'll spell it, because it's M-R Sam Lake, because written down it looks like Mrs. Amlicky. It's Mr. Sam Lake, because there's that Finnish guy, Sam Lake, who stole at Sam Lake.

And his name's not even Sam Lake anyway, whatever. And if you want to listen to Matt on my podcast, I have a podcast called I've Had A Rosé, Let's Talk About Feelings, and Crystal has also been a guest as well. And Rory want to listen to Matt on my podcast, I have a podcast called I've Had A Rose, Let's Talk About Feelings and Crystal has also been a guest as well and Rory, lovely to see you. Crystal, what about you? Where can people find you? Yeah, just follow my Instagram, Crystal Evans Comedy. It's Crystal with a K, and what else? Oh yeah, I've got a podcast. It's a sex and relationships podcast. It's very dirty and funny, and it's called,

what's it called? Crystal and Crystal are in heat, is what it's called. So yeah, have a listen to that. Sam has been a guest on that as well. Again, thanks for being here, Rory. And, hi. Hi. Hi.

Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. You're helping a lot of strays tonight, Rory. And Rory, what about you working for Fungi? Yeah, I don't currently have a podcast or guest on many podcasts. You got any free time if anyone wanted you to?

Plenty free time. I just wait by the phone. Bye, follow me on Instagram, Rory M. Spence. I'm Blue Sky, I'm trying to be a Blue Sky guy. Thank you. I just joined Blue Sky. Great, I'll see you there. See you there.

Thanks so much for joining. Big round of applause for our guest. Cheers for tuning in to Who Knew with Matt Stewart and now that you know it, I've been Matt Stewart. Good boy! And while we're rotting the rats out, before we get going, can I just check in, who here has heard the show before?

Who here is confused as to what's going on right now? Front row. Two in the front row, both of you. Them as well. Why are you here? Um, my mum booked it. And you're... So you're my...

But do you... Mum, do you know what's going on? No. No. So there's a...the whole group here has no fucking idea what's going on. I'm so glad it wasn't one of you Just remember that that was off hard but anyway, yeah language warning We're gonna grandfather that one in okay, you call I won't say it again if that is offensive to you or your mom

Is your mom your mom or I was such things? Okay Is your mum alright with such things? There's time and place, I don't think there's the place for it. Okay. When you said there's a time and a place, I thought you were going to be like, and it's not now. It's not now. Alright. Well, this is fish and you. You're new to the show, maybe you can make a nice decision and cheer for the house tonight. As a family. What a beautiful way to bring a family. Okay. They've decided on negativity. Fine.

Alright. I will say that I looked at Mum during that round and I could see regret on the face. What have we done? I brought the kids here. Is your husband a clit hero? Wow! Just for the listeners at home, Sorry, the kids are there.

Dad gave a big nod. Yes. Yes, I am. There was no hesitation there. That was a big, deep, proud nod. Yes. Yes, I am. Yes. That was, there was no hesitation there. That was a big, deep proud nod. Yeah. Thank you for your service. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's like, it's sounding more convoluted than it is. I can see mum, you're, you're, you're lost, aren't you? Don't worry. You'll get there. Is anyone Scottish here?

Yay! Thank you. Just not anyone I've spoken to so far. I like how Rory went sort of a reverse to the classic order of lowest to highest, but I thought that was good because you really helped us all run out of energy and momentum as we went along. That was the plan. Hey Rory are you okay with me shitting on you like this? Yeah. Apologies if not. Because I can really I can take... While we're on stage it's fine. Mum and Dad am I telling you anything you already don't know already?

Yeah, yeah. I bet you put it on WAP while you're going down. Wow! Okay. I did it. Can I just say, can I say that I did regret that hug? I did regret that as soon as I said it. Can we strip that from the record?

Your Honor, I'm so sorry kids. Both kids are like in-law and, oh so you're cool. But you're hating it. I'm sorry. Yeah, yeah. Oh yeah, well I'm looking at him, I can't. I will, I will, I'm gonna at him, I can't. Um... I will, I will... I'm gonna try not to mention you again.

But know this, it's not because I'm not appreciating you and... what you do. Well said. Thank you. Okay, now the in-law is not enjoying it as much. It would be junior, wouldn't it? Sorry. No, I'm sorry.

I think you're doing great. Oh my god. Thanks so much for being here. I'm so sorry, Mum and Dad. I'm so sorry. I really did appreciate it. I mean, bloody hell, good on you're like me, you want to look good, feel comfortable, and be ready for anything. That's why I love Dürer. It's not active wear, but it's not just fashion. It's the best of both worlds, where performance meets style. I wear my Dürer pants to work, out with friends, on hiking trails, and everywhere in between. If you haven't tried Dürer, you've gotta feel the difference for yourself. Head to dürer.ca slash comfort and get 20%

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