Who Knew It with Matt Stewart - 131 - Cass Paige and Zoe B

Episode Date: March 17, 2025

Who Knew It with Matt Stewart is a comedy game show podcast hosted by Australian comedian Matt Stewart. This episode features Cass Paige and Zoe B (Being Hot Is Hard)!Check out Matt's stand up special: https://youtu.be/cWStRpI-BhESupport the show via http://patreon.com/dogoonpod and you can submit questions for the show!See the podcast/Matt live: https://www.mattstewartcomedy.com/Check out Matt's podcast network: https://dogoonpod.com/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey, mate, this is Matt here before we start the show in March 2025. I'm about to board a plane flying over to Adelaide. Cannot wait. And when I get back, it's the Melbourne Comedy Festival. Tickets are on sale for my show, Bad Boy. The Saturday in Adelaide is already sold out. Friday selling fast. I'm doing a live Who Knew It on the Saturday as well with a few tickets left. I'm going to give out free Who Knew It magnets to people who come on the opening night and maybe even the second opening night,

which is just the second night, I think. And then back to Melbourne where I'm on at Spleen for just 12 shows this year. Normally I do the full month, but just a half run this year. And yeah, tickets are moving. Grab them now and I'll see you there. Let's have a beer. Now on with the show.

I'll see you there. Let's have a beer now on with the show. Acast powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend. Hi, it's Terry O'Reilly. I host a fun podcast called under the influence where I analyze how advertising affects your life. Like why does that add you hate so much sell the most products? And what's the story behind the most famous Super Bowl ads?

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Welcome to Who Knew It with Matt Stewart, the show where the guests write the wrong answers. I'm the titular Matt Stewart and our first guest is host of Being Hot Is Hard at ZoeB. Hello! Was that it? Yeah, yeah that's it. We're done. Done! Fucking nailed it.

Woo! Our second guest this week is also host of Being Hot Is Hard at Cass Page. Woo! Woo! Can you believe this week is also host of Being Hot as Heart, it's Cass Page. Woo! Woo! Look at that, we got both of them. That's crazy. We're never in the same place at the same time. It's really tricky.

We actually have restraining orders out on each other and it is breaking a wish-sweening. A wish-sweening order? It's like a restraining order, but it's real cute. It's really sweet. It's like a silly little girl restraining order. No, don't be that far from me. I want to be an eyeliner for you,

but like, I don't want you to touch me, but like maybe you could touch me. Maybe a restraining order is like, I want to restrain you. With my arms. Restrain and hug. Hug style. You're on now. I needed a hug. Hug style. Your honor.

That's what I was confused, your honor. It was fair. Sorry, I thought I had a whist-twanning order. My mistake. So the way the show works is I ask a relatively obscure trivia question. Our contestants have to write a convincing fake answer. I then read their answers, as well as the real one,

and I have to guess which one is correct. And the first question comes from listener, Jack Clements from Swansea in Wales. And the question is, what does popty ping mean? What does popty ping mean? Popty ping? Oh. Can I get spelling?

Yeah. P-O-P-T-P-I-N-G. Popty ping. Poptyping. Poptyping. And while they're writing their answers, I'll explain. Is this Welsh? Yeah. Can we have a language of origin?

Uh, I might have to change some of the fake answers. Give us a loo. No, don't change anything. Don't change anything. No, no, no, no. We will, we will. Just because we're smart geniuses. Yeah, sorry.

We've done too many spelling bays. No, you're... Can you use an interstitense? It's a, it's, it is Welsh. Yeah, sorry, we've done too many spelling bays. In foreign languages. Can you use a little sentence? It is Welsh, yes, it is Welsh. All right. Popty ping. While they're writing their ads, I'll explain to the listeners how the scoring works.

So they get one point if their fake answer is guessed by the other contest, and another point if they correctly guess the answer. And by the way, I'm also playing as the house. I've put in two of my own fake answers for each question. And I get a point for each one of these that our guests choose. So each of us can score up to two points per hour, which seems fair, but the probability actually favours me, the house.

And the house often wins. Although not all that much recently, or ever to be honest. Anyway, our questions come from our great Patreon supporters. If you want to submit a question, sign up on any level via patreon.com slash jiggleonpod, linked in the show notes. Oh my gosh. Can you believe it?

The answers are in. The question number one. What does popty ping mean? A Welsh exclamation said when you drop an item, but it does not break. I'd like an exclamation for that because I should celebrate the moment. I'm just going, ah, no!

Oh my goodness. Don't worry guys. We had a popty ping. That's option one. Option two, a Welsh onomatopoeic term for a toaster. Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! You broke gas, man. Oh no! It's too special. That's option number two, option three, a Welsh slang term for a searing headache.

Oh, popty ping. Oh. Yeah, an award. Popty ping. Yeah, a head just like a jackhammer. I feel like there's two, continue, sorry. You keep saying things. I'll start talking when it's my turn.

Option four. Hey, it's always your turn. Option four, colloquial term, a Welsh term for microwave, a microwave. Or finally a Welsh morning greeting and a pupperty ping to you. My God. That's a great word. Like I've never heard it before. I love the word.

Yeah. And I think it works for all these possibilities. You're very happy with it. Oh, I will. I, it, I, we live in one of these worlds. Yeah. And I think that rocks. So there was exclamation for when you drop something, toaster, microwave, greeting.

What was the other one? Headache. Headache. See that's the, that's how I started talking. Cause I feel like popty ping is a terrible word to say when you have a headache. Oh, that's true. There's no pop filter in the mind. Yeah.

You just like spoke my brain. Raw dog and that. Oh. And I guess you'd want to be able to say, well, you've got it. Yeah, there's a headache. There's no lip touching at that point. Hey.

Oh yeah. That's a pretty, we've probably, we did well on that one. Yeah, just, yeah. Oh, you have a headache. Hey. I see. Oh.

What are you thinking? If it, I need it to be toaster. I'm gonna go toaster. I'm gonna go in the same vein and I'm gonna go microwave. Okay. Yeah, I mean, they're very close. Very close to each other in the kitchen. Yes, same bench some would say. Sometimes if you live in a house that's're very close, very close to each other in the kitchen. Yes. Same bench, some would say.

Sometimes if you live in a house that's not very good, you could only use one at once. Randomly. Our microwave and our TV are on the same frequency, so you can only use one at the time. Oh, our microwave and the, um, uh, the internet are. Oh, that's good. If someone's watching a movie, you're going to a movie, if it's a 30 second reheat, you're probably fine, but otherwise the movie will stop.

Yeah, we get a lag, and it's like, I just want popcorn so I can continue watching the movie. That's, yeah, that's so sad. We made the, you know, even to be easier for us, but what if it's done? Do you know what? I had a dream that I went into a house that had a microwave set up next to the television

for that purpose, for popcorn while watching a movie, and that had a drawer underneath full of popcorn that you could just, my mind! Your mind is amazing. It's interesting none of us came up with a popcorn. Pop-D-Ping feels so perfect for popcorn. Fuck! It does.

Hmm, that's, do you know what? On the microwave thing, I did know a family who referred to the microwave as Chef Ding. What? So like if there was something that had to get microwave for the dinner, it'd be like, oh, we'll pass this one on to Chef Ding. That's good.

Comedy gold. What a whimsical world they live in. Yeah, really beautiful stuff. Were they from Wales? From what I can tell, Wales, very whimsical place. So many letters. So, here's who wrote the answers. You're both locked in?

A Welsh morning greeting, that was the house. Just like the idea of that, tippin' that. Puppety ping. That's great, I really like that. And we can just say that. Yeah, we can. Any of these? Words, all words are made up. And we can just say any of these. You just made a word.

Welsh slang term for a searing headache. Also the house. The exclamation when you drop an autumn, but it does not break. That's Cass. And I stand by what I said, which wasn't misdirect, but I do want a word for that. Because I do drop stuff a lot, and I think I should be celebrated for the amount of, I feel like I have a skill in dropping things. Like I drop my phone every day, and it mostly is fine. That is true.

There are sections of the screen I cannot use, there are mobile games I cannot play. I've met the people who made gubbins, tried to play it to support them, couldn't. There's a section of my phone where I can't put apps. Oh yeah. That makes sense. That makes sense. And I dumped an entire cup of Baileys directly on my phone, but it's still,

I do have to use the speaker now. Classic poppity ping. Poppity ping. It lived. Uh, Cass, you went for onomatopoe a term for a toaster. That was Zoe B. And that means Zoe is correct. It's a microwave. Actually knew this. Whoa.

That. But yeah. And I'm like. Popcorn microwave. Maybe that's where. But it is not because of that. It's it actually. It means a poppy means bake, tea means house, and that's how the pop tea sort of came together. Bake house.

So yeah, it basically means pinging oven or pinging bakery apparently. It's cool that it works on both levels because you pop it in and then it pings. Yeah. You pop to ping. You pop to ping. You pop to ping and then also it bake house. It's so good.

That's for every language. Yeah. It's a great one. But it, yeah. All two of them. All two of them. We nailed it. They have a bunch of words in Wales for microwave and it, it splits Welsh people.

Some people are like, we love it. It's so cute. It's fun. And the others are like, it makes our language sound so silly. So two things can be true. Yeah, I think so. I love it. All right, so full points there to Zoe.

You got all of them. I got all the points, I've never gotten all the points. That's so nice. I think you've already beaten your last score. My last? You mean every game I've ever played, we tally it up. Oh well, God, I'm gonna end on top of this. I'm gonna go home now, thank you.

Question two comes from Jacoby Austin Dangel from Sacramento, in brackets he's written, go River Cats. Go River Cats! Go River Cats! Woof woof woof woof! You would think a cat would like a river. Yeah, I guess that's why these ones are special. Yeah, I'd note them.

Wet cat. So, Jacoby's question is, which of these are real species of rodent? While you're writing your answers, Jack's told me a little bit more about Popdy Ping. The literal translation of Popdy Ping is ping in oven, like I was saying before. The etymology of Popdy is pop, which comes from pobby, bake, and tea house. So you could also translate it to pinging bakery. Again, this is a fun colloquial word for microwave. The official Welsh is macrodon.

Oh, which sounds sick actually. It sounds like a transformer. Some Welsh speakers embrace Poppy ping for its humor. Others hate it because it's been perceived as the official translation making the language sound ridiculous. Yeah. Every language is silly.

Yeah. Every language is silly because people started making them. Yeah. And we're so silly and cute to our kids. We want the world to see magical to them and then those things stick around. Okay, question two, answers are in. Which of these are real species of rodent?

Cantankerous lawn gopher. Me! Mexican hairy dwarf porcupine. Rattus mattus. Norring slinker. Or lemming morang. Oh! Do you remember last time I was on this pod mat and I called you rat Stuart

Raddus Mattis Stuart could be the full name like Mums Man. Yeah, yeah. Raddus Mattus. Get here now. Yes, Mother. I think, I think Cass went first last time, Zoe, so you got first dibs here. I really want it to be lemming meringue. I really want that. I feel like it's not that, due to how funny it was

and how much joy it brought me. But I want to live in that world. Yeah, that's how I make every decision. I want to live in the Lemming Meringue world. So you're that way you're locking in? Yeah, cause I forgot the rest of them, so. I can repeat. Cantankerous lawn gopher, Mexican hairy dwarf porcupine,

rattus mattus, gnorring slinker, lemming meringue. Nah, give me a cantankerous boy. Cantankerous lawn gopher, alright. Putting that in. Zoe B, what do you think, Cass? My brain went away. Can I please have them once more? Can Tancras, Lawn, Gopher? Good.

Mexican Hairy Dwarf Porcupine? Raddus Mattus? Nooring Slinker? Lemming Morang? I wanna go with the Hairy Porcupine because I want it to be both. I want it to be hairy and hurdy. I want the spines to be a little, little hidden. You gotta work for them.

And I like, I like that it's got like three qualifiers as well. Yeah. You don't normally get an animal with four names. Mexican hairy dwarf porcupine. I mean, there's a lot of descriptors. It's really sounding like it's not the right answer. But I want to give it a pass. It also feels like there's a hairy dwarf porcupine. There's a hairy dwarf porcupine and they had to like differentiate. And they're like, well, this one's found in Mexico, so it's Mexican.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's either a hairy dwarf porcupine or there's a non hairy Mexican dwarf porcupine Yeah, or there's a Mexican hairy non dwarf porcupine Yeah, oh, I don't know why I decided to go through all the options there Here's the answers, labing meringue that was the house Gorgeous, really good stuff. Thank you, Matt. Gnawing slinker. That was Cass.

How do you see that? What's the picture in your mind? Sleek. I imagine it to be a sleek beast. Real low to the ground as well. Like a ferret, but naked? Oh no, like ferret with otter fur. Oh yeah, that is sleek.

And it's just gnawing away. Oh yeah, like a beaver teeth. Yeah, see, this is a beautiful. Beautiful beast. Beautiful beast. Rattus Mattus, that was Zoe B. Common house rat. What inspired that?

I forgot the other guys are rodent and then I just went to go write Cappy Barra and I was like, I'm pretty sure that is a rodent. It is the biggest rodent. It's a big rodent. Which, well, it used to be until they discovered that cows are. Cows are rodents and they're like fucking. Oh, they're even bigger.

Cows have so much merch based on the fact that they're the biggest rodent. This is embarrassing for them. Yeah, they're nowhere near it. Huge for the cows though. Yeah, they're. Zoe, you went for Cantankerous Lawn Gher, which was Jacobi, AKA the house. So you switched from one house to another. What are you going to do?

I'm easily influenced. That means Cass is correct. It's Mexican hairy dwarf porcupine. Yeah! Four things happened to a being. So good. I'm glad I, when you were like, oh, that sounds like it's not right.

I'm like, no, no, I didn't mean it like that. I like it and it's real. But I obviously can't quite say that. But it's what it looks like. It's cute as shit, I reckon. Oh, fuck yeah. Oh my God. They're like, they're a tree, they're a tree porcupine.

I don't know if that's normal for porcupines. But they've got a- It's got a pig's nose. They've got a pig and a prehensile tail. So they use that to climb and stuff. The best of a porcupine, a pig and a monkey. Yeah. It's so sick.

A punky pine. Hey, we've got a new name for this. It's much easier to say than Mexican hairless dwarf. Whatever the last part was. Yeah. Really it's a, it's name makes it sound really it's, uh, it's name makes it sound like it's going to be like more hectic looking than it is rather than. Yeah. It feels like a lot of stuff's going on, but it turns out it's just real

cute. Yeah. Yeah. Normal amount of stuff going on. If you just called it like Greg and we would have been like, Oh yeah, that's Greg. That's Greg. Question three comes from Owen McClure from Belfast. And the question is, what is the name of the French race horse that debuted in the pre-der fevro? I don't speak French. For four, for three! In some sort of French horse race in July of 2003.

You know, they can come up with some pretty funky names. Can I ask? Yeah. We. Are you asking us to give a French name? Just a horse name. with some pretty funky names. Can I ask? Yeah, we. Are you asking us to give a French name? Just a horse name. Greg. Greg, but with a little hat on one of the legs.

Big. Your French accent's so beautiful. Big. Definitely, if you have any pronunciation tips, feel free to put them in there. Cass speaks French. No, I don't. Yes, you do.

Not really. I mean, you know, like in Australia, some horse names, most would be in English. Some are gibberish, some are other languages. It could be anything. Yeah. While you're writing your answers, here's some more info about the Mexican hairy dwarf porcupine. Now this is according to the Belize Zoo, who houses a one that they've named

Branchy, who was an orphan found in 2022. Um, and they found it in caves, branch jungle outpost. That's how it got its name. And apparently during the day Branchy enjoys sleeping in his hollow log. And in the afternoon he wakes up to a platter of fresh fruits Sounds like a freaking great life I'm jealous of I'm jealous of him. I'm jealous of this tiny hairless this

orphan animal who's trapped in a Hopefully a big ish cage This is from the Belize Zoo website. Mexican hairy dwarf porcupines are relatively docile, slow rodents, most often seen foraging in the forest canopy. They have a prehensile and naked tail, which is an adaptation to have a better grip of branches and ultimately better mobility in trees. Newborn porcupines can climb often immediately after birth. Their bodies are

covered in hair and soft quills which harden two to three days later. Porcupines use their hardened quills for defense against predation. I don't think I've ever seen that word before. I guess it would be the action of being a predator after you. Yeah, it feels wrong. I think the word prey is fine. Hmm. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, like we've got that one, but I mean I like it. I just I'm like it took me by surprise Big they've listed two fun facts about them as well Mexican hairy dwarf porcupines have over 30,000 quills to protect themselves Quills are specialized hairs that are hardened with layers of keratin. I don't know, do you want to give judgment? Is that fun or not?

I want one. It's interesting. 32,000 feels like an insane amount of quills to have. But then if they're like hair sizes, that doesn't feel insane. Cause like, I, like I've never counted the hairs on my head, but it definitely feels like more than 32,000. Yeah, I wouldn't. I wonder what that is. How many? At least 50. Was it you who taught me this, though?

You don't start to look like you're losing your hair until you've lost half of it? Yeah. The average person has about 100,000 hairs on their head. So I am half bald with my 50,000 hairs. One more and it'll show. I'm shaving it off. And the other fun fact there list is porcupines do not shoot their

quills when threatened, their quills are like loose fitting armor and drop off if they're tugged or shaken too hard or can pierce like needles if they grabbed or bitten, sounds like a pretty good system. Also, if we picked up with protective gloves, um, we picked up this porcupine and we shook it thoroughly. Would all its quills fall off? Yeah. And then we've just got a rat. What if you picked it up, but you slid your hands down?

I'm kind of like kind of, you know, when you do caterpillars with corn. What are you saying to me? When you get a cob of corn and you eat the caterpillars. Yeah, you knife off the corn and then it looks like a bug. Yeah. How do you like that? How is that good for you? You don't like bug.

That was, as a kid, that's how you ate corn. I feel like that's universal how. No. No. So just when you were like a little baby with unpetite baby teeth, your mum was just like, here's a cob. Why don't remember those times? Oh, I do. My mum made a lasting impression because she made it fun.

She was like, we're going to eat caterpillars now. Oh, that's cute. Yeah. It's crazy that worked on you though. Hmm. You would hate eating a bug now. Okay. Answers are in for question number three.

What a fun lot of options this is, I hope. Why am I talking them up? I'm just putting some pressure on them. Like that me and Matt had to like really guess our French here and Cass is like, well, I know most of the words, I'll figure it out. I don't know most of the words. You do know what? You've lived in France. No, I haven't.

Didn't you spend a month or so there? Last year you spent... I'll figure it out. I don't know most of the words. You do know about, you've lived in France. No, no I haven't. Didn't you spend a month or so there? Last year, you spent- I spent a month- You worked at the circus. Like 10 years ago. No, it was only like two weeks. Oh.

The other time I went to New York. Oh, okay. Well still, no. The French Quarter? Yeah. Yeah. I had a, you say, a bagel. Yeah. Yeah. All right, question number three. I had to, you say a baguette.

All right. Question number three. What is the name of the French race horse that debuted in the pre-defever? Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh'll do it like, you know, the Olympics. I'll do English pronunciation of it like they do in the English. Yeah, my favorite part of the Olympics. Latua he fell. Latua he fell. Oh, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh Jamaican it for a bit. Jacques Charas-horse. Or Jacques Charas-horse. Charas-horse.

Le Colum, Le Colesse-mou-bouf. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha That's my favourite French word. My favourite French word is boof as well. I fucking love boof. This is the best. We talk about boof every time I'm on this podcast. Every single time. That's how you say boof. Boof. Boof. Boof.

So that's option four. Finally, big tits. Or boogdoods. So that's option four. Well, finally, big tits. Or, uh, bug tits. Bug tits? Big tits. Big tits. Uh, Zoe, I think we might be back to you. All right.

So we've got Jacques the racehorse, big tits, le Colossum of birth, um, what were the other ones? Le Colossum of birth, big tits, le Colossum of birth, Jacques the racehorse, fledgling asparagus, or le tour Eiffel. Fledgling asparagus, that made me the hardest. And I love just thinking of a little horse with his little stick legs. Like a little baby. They're like, I know what we call an asparagus. All right. That's looked in for Zoe.

What do you think, Cass? Colossalmo beef is huge. Big tits. Also huge. Oh, my two favorite French things like I love the idea of like the French race caller Just yeah big tits coming down the stride or they'd probably say it differently from Matt but Big Ditch has won! Big Ditch has won! He floated a floo floo! I didn't know what Matt was ever saying when it's the name of it

I just knew there was a noise, a floo floo floo Here's the right answers, Le Tour He Fell That was, also a little extra context by the writer a distasteful reference to 9-eleven Like I don't know if it's gonna come across this is in 2003 One day Horse that was the house Yeah, the tower is made, the tower is made One day Jacques Chirache horse, that was the house So stupid

The Colosseum, boof That was so easy No way! No, that's crazy! Well, I thought when you said it back and you said it right That's a word that I could have used a whole how do you say color? Colossal more Colossal mo I did not say that right one Like four French words, I know what does it mean? It's big

the big That is if I ever have a race horse, which I'm sorry. I think it probably won't If I ever have a race horse, which I'm sorry, I think I probably won't. You can dream big, man. You can dream big. But I think if anyone out there might have one, the big beef is such a good name, either in English or French. Uh, fledgling asparagus. I went for that. I was actually written by Owen, the questioner on it, aka the house man in Cassis, correct? It's big tits.

Oh, my God. OK, I want to tell you why I picked big tits. Cause we love them. Yeah. End of story. No, my favorite phrase in French is, I'm going to put this, uh, y a du monde au balcon. She doesn't speak French. So how could we know? There are a lot of people on the balcony, which is a thing you say if someone's tits are huge.

That is really great. I think it's from like, you know when someone's wearing a top and they're like spilling out a little bit. A lot of people on the balcony. A lot of people on the balcony. So me and my friends have started being like, oof, balcony's crowded. That's fun. When we see something we like. Yeah.

So, oh my gosh, after three rounds, the halfway mark, the scores are Cass on two points, Zoe on two points, and the house on two points. Three-way tie. And everyone's having fun and is equal. Yay. That's why three ways are great. Always equal. I'm sure.

All right. Question number four. This one comes from Ed Schumacher Banks from salt burn by the sea. Oh, she we banks from SBS. Uh, she we banks is question. Wait, what did you call him? She we banks from SBS. Shewy Banks' question is, uh, what was the title of the scientific paper by Kaplan, Schneider

and Horowitz published on the 24th of September, 2018? You know, it's just a slightly, that's a paper that- On science. Was published, some sort of science paper that stood out to Ed Schumacher Banks. What was the title of that article? And while you're writing your answers, here's a little more info about Big Tits. And I love it. I mean, even the, the article I'm quoting from is in a publication called Horse and

Hound, which I think is also fantastic. That also sounds like it could, it could house two types of big tits, you know? Oh, that's in that movie. The horse and the hound. No. Um, is it, what's that like kind of fever dreamy movie, but it's like normal and it's really British. Notting Hill?

Yeah. He pretends, he pretends to be a journalist for Horse and Hound. Really? I didn't know they did a real magazine. That's fun. That is fun. Well, this is according to Horse and Hound. The horse was named by her trainer, Ellie Lelouch,

during a family meal. This is a quote from Lelouch. We were having lunch and trying to come up with ideas. My son suggested gross nichons but that wouldn't have got past French Gallup who you've got to you've got to have the names accepted by official body and they can't do saucy ones that sort of stuff. So she said we decided to do on the English equivalent. So I'm like I wonder what gross nichons And as it turns out, I can't say gross nishons.

This is how French speakers listening will be like, what the hell? This is how it's actually pronounced. Grownishon. Grownishon. It's written gross nishons, but it's pronounced. Grownishon. Grownishon.

Grownishon. Grownishon. Grownishon. Grownishon. Grownishon. And that translates Groney Sean. Groney Sean. Groney Sean. Groney Sean. And that translates to, this is a Google translate. Big boobs.

Big boobs. Big boobs. Big boobs. So her son suggested you should call her Big Tits. And you were, that's great. Oh, we'll score you a big one. Um, so her son suggested you should call her Big Tits. And you were, that's great. Oh, we'll squeeze it through by using English.

Yeah, no one will notice. Normally, French horses with English names are checked with the British Jockey Club and vice versa to try and ensure that no swear words or rude names that might cause offence get approved by either authority. However, Big Tits seems to be an exception to this procedure rule and has slipped through unnoticed as the mayor has already run in France. France? Man, I sound so flush.

As we run in France, it seems unlikely that the Jockey Club could do anything about our unusual name if the decision was made to run her in the UK. We often ask for the meaning of any unusual or foreign words that are not known to us, the Jockey Club spokesman told Horse and Hound. But France Gallup didn't ask us in this case and have approved the name, which means the horse could run in Britain, which is pretty amazing. Unfortunately, it was not a very successful horse and I don't think it ever made it over to the UK. Hey, while you're still writing your answers,

let's go for a quick break. All right, we're back and the answers are in for question number four. What was the title of the scientific paper by Kaplan, Schneider and Horowitz? It was published on the 24th of September, 2018. Can non-brachium at least be bent? That's option one, option two.

Wu-Tang Clan explain their scientific method, man. Option three, seagulls. The world's smartest bird. No option for the elasticity of nuclear pasta. Or finally, sucking on and sucking off lime carrying leeches get under your breaches. I love science. I believe are we back to you Cass? Ooh.

Can I get a rapid fire of those again, please? I was listening to Zoe's laugh. I thought it was nice. You're so sweet. Can non-breakium at least be bent? Option two, Wu-Tang clan explain their scientific method, man. Option 3. Seagulls. World's smartest bird? No. Option 4. Elasticity. The elasticity of nuclear pasta.

Or sucking on and sucking off. While I'm carrying leeches. Get under your breeches. It's always kicking their feet. I was trying not to laugh so I didn't distract you. Oh, it's too late. Um, I re- oh. Did they need to do a paper on the seagulls?

We know. It's called confirmation. Like that one? I believe. Straight up, I hear that. I'm like, don't need to read the article. That's good. Thank you.

Um, but why would they be doing a paper? I reckon it's nuclear pasta. Okay. Nuclear pasta. I reckon there's, there's something to be learned in that. Yeah. If they're like, Hey, if the nuclear getting in our stuff is bad. Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey. It's better than nuking the whales. Yeah, gotta nuke something.

Yeah, well, something has to be nuked, so. The pasta can take it. So locking that in? Yep, locked. What do you think, ZoeB? I really wanted to be the Wu-Tang one. I really wanted to be Wu-Tang. See, I assumed you wrote that.

Oh, because I've been on a massive Wu Tang kick at the moment. So that's your whole, what are you talking about? That's my whole thing at the moment. So what do you mean at the moment? What, explain to me what's different? What are you saying? They're like your favorite band. I'm going to pick Wu Tang.

What's going on in your life that you're like, wow, I'm listening, really listening to more Wu-Tang. Is it actually more? It is more. That's crazy. How do you get anything else done? That's wild. I watched the ODB documentary and I was like, man, I got to get back into Wu-Tang.

You're in it. I've never left. No. The whitest girl alive just being like, yeah, man, you know, I gotta listen to Wu-Tang. Back? That's crazy to me. It's come on every single car ride I've ever been with you in my life. I love Wu-Tang. Yeah, I know. They're great.

I'm sorry. That's okay. single car ride I've ever been with you in my life. I love Wu-Tang. Yeah, I know. They're great. Sorry. Back into Wu-Tang. What did you think your life was? I'm, that's really... I was like, I was just... You've never seen more crazy to me in my life.

Back into Wu Tang. Jesus Christ. What else don't you know? Are you not self aware? No. We know that. I get all my advice from you. You're making bad choices, Cass.

Okay, so the's the locked in. Here's the other one. Can non-break him at least be bent? That was written by Ed in the house. Good stuff. Good work. Chewy bangs. Chewy banks?

Chewy banks. Chewy banks for the SBS. Yeah, chewy banks for the SBS. Sucking on and sucking off. Alarm carrying leeches. Get under your breeches. That was Cass. That was very good.

That was delightful stuff. That was very good. Thank you. Seagulls. World's smartest bird. No, that was Zoe B. I love, that was my favorite one. Wu-Tang Clan.

Explain their scientific method, man. As I went for that, I'm afraid that was the house. Oh! Meaning Cass was correct. It's elasticity of nuclear pasta. Pasta research findings. Am I right? It's for research.

We've got to go to La Poqueta. Man. Yeah. Someone asked me what I wanted for dinner. And I said, it's the same answer every time. Yeah. Like, it's pasta every time. If I was able to choose, I'd never ask for anything else.

Happily eat it every minute of every day. Yeah, pasta. That's nice. It's like the snuggliest. Oh my God, I haven't had pasta with butter and cheese and I'm salivating. Oh my God, I haven't had that in a million years. And elevated when you're an adult,

use a Parmesan and pepper. Yeah. Oh. Then it's a grown up meal. Pretty much. I put pine nuts in it and I'm like, it's a grown up meal. Yeah. That's like, that's, that's, that's a plant.

Yeah. That's vegetables. All right. So question number five comes from Emily from Leicester in the UK. And the question is, what is the centuries old English tradition of flitch trials? Flitch trials. Flitch. It's like a very old English tradition called flitch trials.

While you're writing your answers, here's some more info about nuclear pasta. Ed writes, we can only assume that the scientists working on this theory must have been absolutely starving at the time. Nuclear parser is the name given to a theoretical type of degenerate matter that might exist within the crust of neutron stars. This stuff has densities of around 10 and then like a little sort of arrow and then a 14. To the power of?

To the power of? To the power of. Is the blind leading the blind? Don't worry. They could have done phonetics for you. In brackets, Ed wrote straight after that one followed by 14 zeros. So, I mean, all of that's anyway, I could have just kept reading it. Ed wrote straight after that one followed by 14 zeros. So I mean, all of that's anyway, I could have just kept reading it. I would have.

That's so it's. What was the question we had to answer? What a flitch trials. Oh yeah. So that is one followed by 14 zeros, grams per centimeter cubed, meaning one teaspoon of this pasta would weigh about half as much as Uluru.

Um, that's a, that's a, that's a hefty pasta. Yeah. You make sure you, you want to be, um, make getting the measurements right on that one. Um, Ed says he's not sure how many MCGs that is. Sorry. That's all right. MCG is trickier to do for weight because it's empty. Yeah, because it's kind of empty. Yeah. And it depends on how many people are in there.

Yeah. So I think Uluru, I think you picked the right one, Ed. Nuclear pastor is only the general term for this stuff. It comes in different shapes and sizes. The first phase is semi-sperical and called the knocky phrase. Well, Ed asks called the knocky phrase Well Ed says ask is knock your pastor, I'm not sure take it up with them not me I think it's it's in there. I'd call it a pasta. I'd call it a pasta. It's in the past trial

Yeah, there was a sketch on Ronnie John's half hour where where they're like, someone's doing a customer complaint at the supermarket. The gnocchi. It's not pasta. It's not pasta.

It's potatoes. It goes with potatoes, not the pastas. I don't know, that's one of the sketches that I think about like every time I think about gnocchi. Oh yeah. Which is a bit. They used to be quoted to me every single time we'd eat gnocchi at my house.

Or even if gnocchi was mentioned. Yeah. And I've grown up knowing that it's not pasta, it's potato. It's not pasta, it's potatoes. It was, the singer from Axis of was Jordan, Jordan Roskopoulos. Yeah. Um, I imagine would have been a nightmare for Jordan to go to supermarkets for a while after that.

Um, I'm sorry, Jordan. Ed, uh, continues paraphrasing now from the Wiki page. When the Nokia phase is compressed, they are crushed into long rods. These rods are known as the spaghetti phase. Further compression causes the spaghetti phase rods to fuse and form sheets of nuclear matter called the lasagna phase. Man, this is making me so freaking hungry. Do you want to get pasta after this? Yeah, should we all hit up a lupaketa? Yeah. Called the lasagna phase man. This is making me so freakin hungry

Further compression of the lasagna field phase yields the uniform nuclear matter of the outer core Progressing deeper into the inner crust those holes in the nuclear pasta change from being cylindrical called by some the Bcatini phase or anti-spaghetti phase, into scattered spherical holes which can be called the Swiss cheese phase. Geez, they've really jumped, Swiss cheese is not a good pasta cheese. That's a good sandwich cheese. Yeah, fantastic sandwich cheese. That's a good hunk from the fridge cheese.

Oh, good hunk. Do you ever get the mozzarella and just eat the baby's head? Yes. Yeah, that's the best part of the cheese. Oh, hang on, no, I just get the mozzarella and just eat the baby's head? Yes. Yeah, that's the best part of this. Oh, hang on. No, I just get them small and just eat them whole. It took me a second. I'm like, I don't think those two things are related. Oh, sorry. You guys are eating baby level famous yet? It's embarrassing for you guys.

Yeah. Yeah. I don't have that on the the charcuterie boards that I'm used to. You'll get there one day, man. Dream big. Okay. So the answer in here is question number five. What is the centuries old English tradition of flitch trials? Making a pot of tea on New Year's day and pouring it into your vegetable garden. The plants who survive the scolding will grow strong in the spring and will

make you strong when you eat them. That's option one. Option two, a day where tenants would slap their landlord. If the landlord did not take the hit courageously, the tenant would not have to pay the next month's rent. That was good. And we should bring it back.

Yeah. Centuries old. I'm going back to tradition. Option three, a tradition where mice are charged and put on trial if there is a particularly bad harvest. Option three. You sound a bit mouse like then. It's under a boot. You're a golden mouse, Joe! It's under a boot.

Oh! Option four. A test of the longevity and endurance of the royal butlers in an Olympic style butler trial. Why not call it the butt trials? Fake answer! Or finally,

a custom where couples have to prove they don't regret getting married and if they succeed, they're given bacon. How do they prove that? Yeah, you can lie. For bacon, yeah. I've seen many couples lie about how much they love each other and how much they don't need to get a divorce, Zoe.

So we got the pot of tea testing out the garden. You got the tenant slapping the landlord. You got the mice on trial. Got the butler trial or marriage trial and the bacon reward. I want it to be mouse, but I don't want it to be mouse. I don't want the mice to go to jail. They've done nothing wrong. Yeah.

You're happy with it if it's a mock trial. Yeah. Yeah. Like if it's a, what do they call them? The moots? Like, but not, not for the, not for the mice. It's kind of a noise that mouse makes sometimes. Moot.

Um, the landlord one's good. I, I got feeling it's the pouring hot water on your plants. That feels, I don't know, something's resonating. Yep. Lock that in. Yep. All right. What do you think, Cass? I have to go, Mouse. It's too beautiful.

It's so beautiful. I just don't want to ever live in a world where a mouse has to get a criminal defense attorney. They can't afford them I'm pro bono Yeah, you're picturing a mouse lawyer or a human lawyer He's blind as well because in my mind in my mind all the three blind Your honor Simple contra mass in my mind all- It's the three blind mice. Three blind mice. He's like, your honor, I'm just a simple contra mouse. Patting his belly full of harvest.

Don't worry about it. That's fine, our country was very good to us. These mice have done nothing wrong. But here's the thing, they go to trial. It's not necessarily they'll be found guilty. But they don't have to go to trial full stop. I don't think it should be against the law for the bad harvest to be the mice's fault.

It doesn't even say the harvest was eaten. It's just like, they're getting blamed for bad weather or whatever. Yeah, you're under control of it. Can I tell you what's happening in my mind? What do you think's happening? Everyone is so sad about the harvest and it's old times, so you kind of get what you're given.

We've not really cracked all the nuts yet in terms of overproduction of food. So it's dire. We'll get there though, don't worry. We'll get there. And you're like, you're just going to blame the world, God, there's so much to blame when nothing happens and you are kind of directing your disappointment at nothing. But someone's like, hey, let's put the mice on trial. You put the mice on trial, you get to vent all your anger at a mouse.

And then eventually I'm hoping fingers crossed. The judge is like, well, we sentence the mouse to live outside. Yeah. What an apt punishment. Never come back here. And then if a mouse is in your house, you get to be like, you're violating the terms of your parole. All right, here's the answers.

The tenant slapping or the landlord slapping, I should say, that was the house. It's very good. Yeah. Bombed, bombed, that's not real. It does sound like it. We can make it real. We can make it real.

And I liked that the tenants like, you didn't accept that slap courageously. Are you flinched? Oh, you fucking coward. That is definitely where I got flinched to flinch. And yeah. I love to see the inner machinations of your mind, man. Your inner matinations.

And a world of pure imagination. No. The Butler Longevity and End and endurance test that was always. They gotta carry many plates. I love it. And it being centuries old, the Olympic style would have been perhaps ancient Olympic style where they were all nude.

Just a little bow tie and apron. Uh, how else do you wear a butler's dress? My what? Zoe's secretly rich and famous. The mice trials was Emily, AKA the question writer, AKA the house. You've made Zoe so much happier. I'm so glad the mice didn't have to go to jail. They wouldn't have survived in there.

They don't know the rules. They're too little to get tattoos. They can't join a gang. Zoe, you went for the pot of tea in the vegetable garden. That was Cass. That's so sweet. Thank you. It's so nice.

And I hate that the fucking bacon answer is the correct answer. I hate that bacon is the correct answer. What are the trials? The flitch trials. And they're still going on today in one village. How, what are some of the trials in the trial? Well, they go in front of a jury of their peers basically. Oh, that's good, actually.

And they just have to convince the jury. Oh, I'm coming in with bias. I am not, so many people are not getting through. Oh, they're the trash. I just like, if you know them, and it's like, we're really happy. It's like, huh. They actually, the first ever same sex couple

trialed this year. Oh, good for them, though. That's so forwards backwards. It is forwards backwards. It's like nothing happened at all. And then, yeah, and apparently, yeah, the first time a woman took on a role that's for hundreds and hundreds of years

has only been done by a man. And they asked her, the BBC asked her how that happened. She's like, oh, I just said, why can't a woman do this? And everyone's like, oh, there's no reason. Do you want to do it? No one checked. So many things in life are no one checked. Yeah.

It's just always been done this way. I don't know. Okay, so the final question comes from Camila from Brooklyn. Appreciate Camila giving me the rhyming help with her name. Camila rhymes with tequila. And the question is, so this is the longest one you're gonna have to write, Zoe. Probably like, you know, paragraph two, three, four sentences.

Yes, yes, not just to- You know what, don't you understand paragraphs? I understand, I understand. Not just like a singular word. Yes, exactly. This would be more than the one word. And the question is, what is the synopsis of the 1988 film vibes? What is the synopsis of the 1988 film vibes?

And have you guys seen vibes? I have not seen vibes. I have not seen vibes. I've not seen vibes. OK, good, good. We're all on the same page of not seeing the film You're making it sound weird. No, that's no no. I'm just a regular person who's never seen films before Well, yeah, well you that will make it harder to write a fake film synopsis

Good don't have to accurately try and remember the film that I haven't seen. You make it sound like, have you seen this film? No. It's really sounding like you've seen the film, though. No, no, no. That would be embarrassing if I'd seen the film. And then mention that to Matt. Well, seeing as Zoe can't act very well, I'll explain that we've just had to change this question because the last one, Zoe blurted out, I've seen this.

And it's about aliens. Pretty instantly. Zoe said, I've seen this, but like, well, we can still play the game. Yeah. You know, I'll just answer first. And then Zoe's like, yeah, I don't really remember much. Except there was aliens. Oh my God.

But anyway, now we'll change it. Yeah. To a movie called Vibes. And while you're writing your answers, here's some more info about which trials, according to Emily, they were referenced by Chaucer and still take place in some strange corners of England.

What's a Chaucer? It was an old timey writer. Okay. My head's saying William Chaucer, but that's not right, is it? What's Chaucer's name? Oh, Chaucer's... Geoffrey Chaucer. I thought Chaucer was like a job.

Well, yeah. Yeah, he was working hard. In the 1400s. No, he died in 1400. This is in the 1300s. So this, yeah, it does seem like the kind of tradition that would go back that far. Oh, yeah, yeah. Bacon probably made sense back then. That was a rich man's food.

In great Dunmau, Essex, modern trials are held every fourth year on leap years. Like the Olympics? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're not Olympiad, they're Flitchiad. So hang on. We've got, are they all on off years? Cause that means we've only got one year we need to fill.

Cause we've got winter Olympics, summer Olympics, flitch trials. Maybe you can do the Butler trials and the other. Yeah. Yeah. Something for everyone. The ultra rich have been excluded for too long. So Emily writes the event is organized by the Dunmau flitch trials committee who employ a council to cross-examine the applicants in an attempt to save the bacon for the sponsors who donated it. The trial is decided by a jury.

And then there's a great article by Helen Burchill for the BBC. jury. And then there's a great article by Helen Burchill for the BBC and she says it's at least a 900 year old tradition they reckon and it's a mock courtroom they got to prove their love is still true. Loved-up pairs wanting to show their romance are still sizzling can come from anywhere as long as they have been married for one year and one day and can prove that they have, quote, not wish themselves unmarried for that period in an attempt to win a flitch, which is the side of bacon. Emma Hines and Emma DeCosta, who were the first same sex couple to be cross-examined by the jury.

I love when queer couples have the same name. Oh, my God, I didn't know I had to know that. I love every now and then I'll be on like a dating app and another Zoe will pop up and I'll be like, this could be, this could be my dream. I've matched with a Casper for all. God never responded. Oh, that's such a, did you start with like, we could be one of those queer couples that have the same name?

Um, I probably said something stupid like that. Their name is also Cassie. Oh no, but it says that have the same name? I probably said something stupid like that. Their names are also Cassie. Oh no, but it says that on the thing. I would have just said, hello, Cassie. Hello, Cassie. I understand why she didn't respond. Yeah, fair enough. I look, hey, you know, I'm out of the game.

So yeah, that, that, that's 2024 last year. They were one of five couples who faced the trials. And yeah, they said that it was a privilege to be involved in the event. Mrs. Hines, Emma Hines, who grew up in the village, said it was something she'd always wanted to be involved in. I think the world has changed a lot over the last few years. And with the tradition, it's good to encourage everyone to be a part of it. Same sex or regardless, she added.

Her partner, Mrs. DeCosta said, to be the first same sex couple is historic and something we're proud to be a part of. It's just nice that the organizers have acknowledged that because not many places do, that's grim. Oh, the world is bad. Not many places acknowledge. It is claimed the origin of the Dunmau flitch dates to 1104 and the Augustinian priory of

little Dunmau when the Lord of the Manor, Reginald Fitzwalter and his wife dressed themselves as humble folk and begged the blessing of the Pryor a year and a day after their marriage. The Pryor, impressed by their devotion, gave them a flitch of bacon. Fitzwalter revealed his true identity and gave his land to the Pryor on the condition a flitch should be awarded to any couple who could claim they were similarly devoted. Aw. Also, them pretending to be, um, like the peasant people screaming real Brunswick energy. For bacon.

For bacon in Brunswick. Oh my gosh, the answers are in. They're in. We did it. It's done. Done. Go home now. Bye. Turn off the podcast. They're in. We did it. It's happening. It's done. It's done. Go home now, bye.

Turn off the podcast. It doesn't get better than this. You finished. They're done now, bye bye. I should say before I read these answers out, we're about to record an episode of Being Hot Is Hard, where I think I get to talk about how my process of being hot.

Yeah, that's what we're asking you. You better answer us. And I'm feeling very comfortable about that. I feel very worthy of talking about such a thing. Here's the thing. Uh, we asked you, so you are. Yeah. And it's not hard because we're just going to ask you stuff about how you live.

Yeah. There are wrong answers. No. I don't know. This will be the first episode you're like, eh, no. Actually, we renounced your hotness. Turns out you're an ugo, gross.

Yucky. The Hot Person podcast. Hey, Kass and Zoe, when's my episode coming out? Oh, that was like a, that was an audio thing. I was listening to the episode with Bronwyn Cass and she was talking about how like her people at her school would, um, they bullied her on the radio and stuff. And this would, this is how you're going to do it to me. Yeah, this is it.

I'm not putting you on the radio. No radio. All right. The answers are in. Here's the final question. What is the synopsis of the 1988 film Vibes? Option one. And I should say I haven't read any of these.

Oh no. Awesome. At all, so I, you know. We're getting pure visceral reaction from Matt. Hell yeah. Including the real one, I don't know what the real movie is about. I'll just copy and paste them all over. All right, here we go.

Jeff Valien is a senior in high school who is going nowhere. Slow. With graduation looming over him and a single mom always on his back. I don't know if that's the true. Jeff is just trying to find one chill Sunday where he still can Can Jeff avoid anything stressful for 24 hours or will the real world seep in and kill his vibe? option one option two Villainous intelligent bot for educational science aka vibes

West by Raul Julia was designed by American scientists after World War Two to try and understand the Nazis rise to power. But when Dr. Val Johnson, Bob's creator, goes missing, authorities must determine quickly if this robot is capable of murder. I love a murder robot. You love a murder robot. Let him go nuts. Stop trying to give him those three rules. Let's just see what happens.

Yeah. Which, what are the three rules? Don't hurt a person. Don't do something that could hurt a person and I don't know. Um, dance good. Dance good. Dance good. That's what I...

Yeah, they can keep that rule. Yeah. Option three, Billy Lay, the owner of a local gag store called Good Vibrations, passes out on the shop floor upon reading a repossession notice from the bank. During the ensuring stress stream, the chattering teeth tell him that gags have changed and that he needs to buy different gag stock to save not only the store, but his uptight town. Determined, Billy starts buying the most outrageous sex toys he can find, and in the process helps his neighbours learn to laugh.

Option 3. Option 4. Sylvia Pickel is a transmedium who has contact with Louise, a wisecracking spirit guide. At a study of physics, Sylvia meets fellow psychic, Nick Deasy, a psychometrist, psycho- Psychometrist? A psychometrist who can determine the history of events surrounding an object by just touching it. The two psychics are tricked by a fedora-wearing con man

in a traveling to Ecuador to find a lost city of gold. Or finally, this dystopian film follows a world where no one can hear and must communicate non-verbally. Marcus Dubois is the world's most talented mime and must deal with the pratfalls of fame and fortune when all he wants is for someone to really see him. That's option five. Okay.

Sad mime. Yeah. Womp-womp. Aw. Your go, Cass, you got Jeff Valiant, the, uh, the guy who's going nowhere slow. Uh, you've got, uh, the villainous, villainous, intelligent bot for educational science, you got, uh, Billy Lay in his gag store, which becomes a bit of a,

bit of a sex toy. Bit of a gag store. Yeah. Or you got Sylvia Pickell, the trans medium, who meets another, a psychometrist. I reckon now that. I don't know if that's right. I just guessed.

I think that sounds way more right. Yeah. And they get tricked into trying to find a lost city of gold or the dystopian film where everyone communicates non-verbally and our main man, Marcus DuBois, just wants someone to see him. Oh, I reckon I'm going to go the psychics. The psychics and the city of gold? Yeah. Hey, if I've been tricked by something cool, same.

At least I can relate to the movie. There's gold? Oh, I'm gonna go on a plane. Is it? Is it? Immediately. Did the fact that, uh, psychometrist, was that a word that, uh, made you go, that's a real movie? Something that legit? Yeah. Or is it making you now go? Did you not be able to pronounce it? It's not a real word. Did he not be able to pronounce it? But is it one you'd make up and then forget how to say yeah, I don't know is it Zoe

Metal robots, please. Go with the love. Immediately go. I've been not trusting my gut, except for the Wu-Tang-Wan for most. No, go with the murder robots. I love them and I want them to be real. Yeah, I feel like the key to this game

is following your heart and you get to pick which world you live in. It's good to follow my heart because my head is fucking stupid. So. There's also, there's that nice gap in between guessing and knowing the answers where it could be true. Yeah. Yeah. And I could live in the world where like maybe murder robots with, is this

murder robot killer Nazis? That's what I got from the synopsis. Or is it Nazi? Uh, try to understand the Nazis was I did not, I said it, I missed the Nazis bit. But you said it. You said it. I got in a real you just forgot that What's podcasting Got a pod cut a pod all right. Here's the right the answers Jeff Ballion the senior in high school is going nowhere slow that was Camila

Fantastic work there. Billy Lay, the gag store man. That was Cass. You love bits and gags. I love bits and gags. And Billy Lay, pretty good. Yeah, I thought, you know, you know, I was I was really getting into the world. Yeah, so maybe he could have started off. Willie Lay.

Yeah, well, he like he starts off laying the traps and then he, he's who you go to where you want to get laid. Yeah. Good vibrations for the chattering teeth and then don't even need to change the name of the store. That's crazy. Yeah. There was a lot of layers there.

I'd watch that movie. Thank you. Uh, the dystopian film with, uh, Marcus Dubois who Dubois who everyone can't communicate. Oh, well, sorry. I have to communicate non-verbally. That was Zoe B. Ooh. Oh, my best work.

Not thrilled with that one, but the sad mime did get to me. Yeah. I got me sad personally. And I know you love mimes. Yeah. That's what I was working with. I do. I do love mimes, but the mime was sad and I didn't want that to be right.

No, I overcorrected. Yep. And the mime was so happy. The whole movie. If you were like, this is a movie about a mime having the best day of his life. It'd be like, oh. Oh, fuck yeah. Zoe went for the killer robot, murder robot.

That was another Camilla, the killer, okay, the house. That was another Camilla killer. Okay. The house. And that means Cass is correct. It is the trance medium. Uh, and the psychometrist. Beautiful. Honestly, the phrase trance medium. I'm like, none of you wrote that. I keep forgetting that people can write them in and they have time to think about it.

So I should, I should stop using that as a metric. It's obviously, uh, it's a plan that's working for you really well. So I would stick to it. Loving my friends. And by the way, I believe the cast, those two mediums, uh, Actually quite large. Cindy Lauper and Jeff Goldblum. Oh my God. Can we watch this movie? And then the, the, the fedora wearing a con man is Peter Falk.

Who's he? I don't know that one. He's, have you ever watched the Princess Bride? Oh yes. He's the granddad. Oh. Telling the story. Oh my God, I love that movie.

But he's probably most famous. He was like a, he's a cop, Columbo. Oh, I know Columbo. Yeah, yeah. Oh, he's Columbo a cop, Columbo. Oh, I know Columbo. Yeah. Oh, he's Columbo. He's Columbo. I did not realize that was the same guy. That's crazy. Okay.

Vibes is on my watchlist. One more thing. That's his, I've never seen Columbo, but I think his famous thing is he'll be interviewing the criminal and then about to leave. And then, oh, just one more thing. One more thing. Here's the most important question of the episode. We kind of, uh, of doctors appointments his way through

We say it triple points that far around I don't know Just to let you know this film Was canned or panned by critics only 13% but the audience has liked it a lot more 62% Of Rotten Tomato audience members Kevin a positive review. I know what we're doing our next movie night panned by critics only 13% but the audience has liked it a lot more 62% of Rotten Tomato audience members gave it a positive review. I know what we're doing our next movie night. This is a review by Desmond Ryan he says and he doesn't like it vibes is a harmless painless romp but it's an instance of a sincere attempt at screwball comedy that simply got screwed up. Oh, Desmond.

Kind of rude to say. Yeah. It's actually. I have nothing to say. Don't say it, Desmond. Yeah, have a shush. Let me give you like the audience loved it way more. Like DJ T writes, Cindy and Jeff are fantastic in this film.

It's witty with hilarious moments. Kevin F says, clever, fast paced, great cast and absolutely hilarious. Cindy Lauper is fabulous as Sylvia Pickell, a psychic with a long list of bad boyfriends. And Jeff Goldblum is at his best. Oh, his best. I do feel like Cindy Lauper, Jeff Goldblum is such a beautiful, eclectic duo that I'm surprised like this movie didn't work better. Yeah.

Yeah. Do you know what? Maybe the world wasn't ready for it. It was too good. It might be an unevolved issue because it's got, look, it does have a three on letterboxed. Well, that's kind of better than half. Yeah. And also it goes for 99 minutes, which is huge in that I love it.

Not that it's big. Under the 100. Because it's small. Oh yeah, we love it under a hundred. All right, final score check. Oh do we have to? It's all right, we can just give it to Cass. I think you pretty much called it going this way. You started off with all the points in round one

and they ended up being all your points. Zoe finishes on two points and taking place to house on five because the house only gets single points as a final round around so out in front With that big triple points in the final round on seven points. It's Cas pay You're so good at this podcast I love making you laugh So people can find you on a bunch of different places,

but being hot as hard is probably the one worth talking about right now, because we're about to record an episode that can probably come out this same week. It probably will. Yeah. We love to do that. Yeah. We love just talking to our hot friends. Yeah. We just, we just sit down,

thanks for being hot Matt. Sit down in a room, bring up a list of funny people who we think are hot, and we send out a bunch of messages. Well, I will send out a message, and then I have to put Zoe in a group chat with the person. I don't know, they're your friends. But then, because Zoe does the admin, and then Zoe will see me in real life and say,

hey, did you respond to that message? I'm like, I'm trying to use my phone less. And she's like, you have to respond to texts. It's going really well. Anyway, we just- Who's some of the guests you've had? Oh God, we've had Annie and Lena. We're about to, oh, sizzle. We don't have a lean back on.

Grace Jarvis, Ruby Innis. I'm trying to think of guests that we would have shared. Ma and May, Jess Perkins. We've shared all these guests. Bronwyn Cuss. Bronwyn Cuss. Bronwyn Cuss. Bronwyn Cuss.

Back Patronus. Back Patronus. Back Patronus. Back Patronus from our favourite thing to say in the world. Now one of those stupid bitches. God, we- How can she be that funny? We can't stop saying it in our shared households.

And is this the one that Nina Raiyama co-hosted for the first season? Yes, so for the first season, it was the three of us diving into different beauty topics. And I assume at the end of that season, you both voted she wasn't hot enough anymore. Is that what happened? That's exactly what happened.

Us and the entertainment industry, we're like, oh, she won't. She's not hot enough for the podcast. She'd just be on TV all the time. Yeah. Nah, we, she was too hot for radio. Yeah. She deserved to, everyone deserved to see her face.

Yep. That's so good. And just, yeah, too hot and too funny. Everyone's like, hey, she should start writing some of these words down. And she was also getting writing jobs. Yeah. So. Getting paid.

It's pretty cool. Really, really good stuff. God, we love it. Uh, please hang around. There's got to, I imagine quite a lot of outtakes from this episode will go to the end. I think it might be as long as the episode. It does. God, it's so funny.

I appreciate your work, Conner, the editor. Um, thanks so much for joining us everyone. Uh, thanks so much for joining us. So in Thanks so much for joining us, Zoe and Cass. Hey, why not give us a five star review? Tell someone you think might enjoy this episode. And cheers for tuning in to Who Knew with Matt Stewart. Now that you know what, I've been Matt's Show at Goodbye. When you do a Rude Podcast in French, it's called en bleu. En bleu?

You know, what? You know that famous French dish called en bleu? No. Cordon bleu? Where are the things I can throw at you? You took your shoes off idiot. I started sleeping better. Oh really?

Yeah. No, it's really scary because now I can't stop talking at all. How did you start sleeping better? I saw a nutritionist. Oh my God, I started seeing a nutritionist. And I was like, I need help with the food I put in my body. And we had an appointment where she was like, I think, I think you should probably focus on your sleep a bit more. Cause I was like, I want to fix my immunity. So I want to fix my food. Then I want to start like exercising. I walk a bit, but I'm like,

I want to exercise more. And then I want to fix my sleep. And I figured that if I fix my food and I exercise in the sleep will follow. And she was like, I would, I would almost argue that the sleep is the most important because you're not going to have energy and you're going to be like craving weird foods if you're tired all the time. And like, oh, okay. And then we had an appointment where I told her what I'd eaten that week and also how I'd been sleeping and she kept grabbing her head and going, okay, okay.

Okay. Now it's a lot, but you know, it's, you know, it starts somewhere. You could be a case study. Anyway, so her first thing was get a routine to sleep. And I'm like, how long should I be sleeping? And she was like, doesn't matter, just get a routine. I love her, she's so nice.

But yeah, so then I started working 10 hour days because I thought that would help me at least kickstart my routine. And it did. And I'm not doing anything else aside from working and sleeping. Healthy. And just like for a little bit. And then, yeah.

But then I would be at work at 8am. I couldn't stop talking. So that's not good either. I shouldn't. I was nerfing myself. And just being so sleepy, I didn't have the energy to talk. Now I'm annoying. Is it crazy that you've been annoying this whole time? You just like were so tired.

You're alike enough to realize. Yeah. Well, no, I knew I was annoying, but I didn't realize I was like, I'm annoying myself now. Like one of my friends from work was like, I don't think you're annoying. I spent eight hours a day with you. I'm like, yeah, but then you get to go home. I'm in here the whole time. And he was like, that don't think you're annoying. I spent eight hours a day with you. I'm like, yeah, but then you get to go home. I'm in here the whole time. And he was like, that's such a funny joke. I'm like, oh.

This is almost too comfortable to be podcasting. We really lounge our way through this. Hayden sat in this chair the other day and he usually sits on one of the other ones and he was like, oh my God, you're forced to like relax and recline in the chair. Like you just, you have to lie down a little bit. I'm like, do you want to swipe? He's like, nah, nah, this is good. Fuck.

I hate this because I have to Google how to spell some words. Just, just the normal words. Yeah. You've just given to me fanatically. Oh, I wasn't even close. Like there was like, it was normal words? Yeah. You've just given to me phonetically. Oh. I wasn't even close. Like there was like, it was like no suggestion found. Oh, right. I hate the one that I have.

It's like, this has got to be close. What is it? I'm phonetically wrong. Okay. When you see the real one, I'm like, okay, I didn't really have any letters. Oh, it starts with a Z. That's fucking embarrassing for me. Come on, paste the word.

That's fucking embarrassing for me. Come on, paste the word. Uh, what are you doing? I don't want to give him airtime. There was a relatively recent Kanye West tweet where he said some pretty horrible things, but it was, that was crazy, right? But it was all in capital letters,

except for one word, which wasn't in capital letters, which made it seem like he had to Google at his fill. And did the same thing you didn't just paste it in. Cause it had a capital first letter. So it's like, oh, you, You Googled it. You started, you started, you thought about it for a second. God, celebrities, just like us.

Oh man. Oh man. Oh God. Remember when we all thought he was a genius? I love that Pete Davidson bit where he's like, take them. Just take them. I'm taking them. Take the meds. Take the meds. They're awesome. And I, when I, I, I, I'm like, is that too specific? And I looked it up. So many things are rodents. So many things are rodents.

So many things are rodents. Well, we came up with the rat moon spectrum at one stage, which is like, every person falls like in a falls like, you know, a hundred percent is what you are. And so sometimes you'll be a 30, 70 split or whatever. It is a spectrum. Um, but you, one end is any rodent and one end is the moon or the sun. Oh, and anyone falls along that line, but everyone is unique.

So everyone has a different rat at the end of this spectrum. Yeah, I couldn't believe it. There's like pretty much everything's a rodent. Cows, rodents. Big rodents. Rodents of the farm. Big rat. Big rat.

Oh, big rat's a great prison nickname. Oh my God. I saw a dead mouse that was so dead the other day. How dead was it? It was, we thought it was a leaf. It decomposed so much. My friend moved to Carbondale and was like, oh, sorry. That's not a mouse. That's like a leaf. And I was like, oh yeah, I know. Don't worry about it. And then I looked at it. I'm like, hey, I think this might be a dead rat. And then we looked at it real close. Yeah. It had just really decomposed.

Yeah. And the tail gets hard, does it? So it looks like the stem of a leaf. That's amazing. And it's a little like feet and everything had curled up and the skin had dried and like leathered around the bones. So it just looked like a- It's in the middle of evolving. You know, you know how some insects and stuff can blend in well. Maybe it can do that to itself.

You know, decompose itself. You go, ah, it's just a leaf. You walk out of the room. It puts its thumb in its mouth. And it's fine guys. Like it's okay to have fun. It's just a controversial opinion. It's fine.

Just calm down. Being having fun. I see people trying to achieve spiritual enlightenment through weird stuff. Have you, have you heard of, what is it eclectic or ecstatic dance? What? I'd say. That feels like something that our high school. Yeah.

It's a meditative dance practice where, uh, there's no leader and there's no, uh, dance moves to follow. So you're just having, um, like a bedroom book out in public. Yeah. You're just dancing. You're just dancing, but you, I assume pay money and go to a room and talk about how sp- Honestly, you're all probably, you were all probably enlightened at 18. Just, uh, just stop drinking. All right. The answer for question number two.

No. You had a, you had a moment. It's like a real brief pause. I looked at Matt just like the beer pioneer over here and he's just like walking away and I'm like, no, we couldn't, we'd be so unhappy. No, I mean, when people like, you know, come back to dance in older age and like, you were having fun the whole time. It was probably not the alcohol that was making it super fun.

Yeah. Like you can drive to the club. I've done a bunch. I've driven to the club. Yeah. Like you can drive to the club. Yeah. Have you driven to the club together? I don't think we've ever driven to the club together. You get to get dressed up. You get to look really good. You get to dance and then you go home at a reasonable hour.

2am. Best bit. Yeah. And then you can have so much stuff from the oven or a puppy ping. I think that one might catch on, popty ping. I know. It's caught. Yeah, yeah. I'm sick.

Yeah. That is true. The other day I had to put my hand in a bag of mealworms. That's not good for you. Well, they were dead. Like they were for bird feed. No, I mean, personally for you, Zoe, that's not good for you. Oh, like is that dead mealworms above your skin?

No, no, they're fine. It was, it was a really weird experience. Very tech, like textually I hated it because they were silky. Yeah. Like I wanted them to be crisp and crunchy cause like they're very dried out. And I was like, okay, we'll kind of be, in my head, I'm gonna put my hand in this bag of mealworms and it's gonna feel like crunching on some leaves.

But it was very silky. Yeah. Yeah, you don't want it to be too surprising in texture. You don't want any texture surprises. Yeah, no, I want it to feel exactly how I think it's gonna feel. And very rarely does that not happen. Cause I feel like I've touched enough stuff

that I can kind of gauge most of the time. Yeah. Bragg. I've touched a lot of stuff. I've touched a lot of things. I have had many tactile experiences. This one freaked me the fuck out though. And then I kept making other people touch it.

Cause I was like, it feels wrong. Yeah. Like, you know, when you go to the nursery and you see those plants that look like they're furry, but they're not. touch it. Cause I was like, it feels wrong. Eww! You should touch this! Yeah. Like, you know when you go to the nursery and you see those plants that look like they're furry but they're not. They're just like really bumpy leaves. No, all the furry plants I touch are furry. No.

We gotta go to the plant store. Yeah. I'll point out the plants I think that I'm talking about. Oh, um, can you help me? I found a moss while I was overseas that made me giggle when I touched it. And I really want to grow a mossy rock for my balcony. Can you help me? Absolutely. You've given me enough information. I took photos of the rock that made me giggle.

If you send me photos, I can ask my dad and he's weirdly like he's into plants. Yeah. And then if not, I can ask the horticulturalists at my work. I don't think you can call them that. You can, they're qualified. They have a degree. Oh, cause they're whores. But they contribute to the culture, so it's okay. I'm so fucking stupid.

I was like, just because they work retail doesn't mean they can't have a degree, Cassandra. No, oh my gosh. All right, we're back and the answer in for question number four. The answer in. Ooh. Is that what I said? The ants are in.

The ants are in. Can we do that? They're back. I'm a trend forecaster. The ants are in. Trend forecasting. Here's a thing I saw someone else doing. I reckon other people

are going to do it. Yeah, you. Yeah. Anyway, that's not quite forecasting, is it? Good point. I guess they're forecasting the trend. You're good at looking at stuff. So, well, we're racing through only two questions to go. This one comes from Emily from Leicester in the UK. And Emily, if this is the Emily from Leicester, I'm thinking of we had a great night out in Leicester. Oh! Her husband called, like I did a live Who Knew It, and then afterwards a bunch of us went out.

And then I remember quite vaguely her husband called and we're all sitting around the table and she's like, my husband's wondering around. I said, do you want me to take it? Don't worry, Emily's doing it. We're having a great time. I don't know if I made the situation better or not. That's, if it's cool. But it was so much fun.

Oh, so funny. And then we went outside the pub and it was snowing. Oh, I remember, oh, I saw that video. It was amazing, yeah. That's if it's cool. It was so much fun. Oh, so funny. And then we went outside the pub and it was snowing. Oh, I remember. Oh, I saw that video. It was amazing. That's magical. Oh man, it was so good. It was such a great night. It was a magical night.

That is really magic. I love watching videos of an Australian seeing snow for the first time. Oh. It was like, none of us can hide it. Like, oh my God, is this snow? I remember the first time. It was like, none of us can hide it. Like, oh my God, is this snow? I remember the first time I saw snow and me and my partner at the time were like,

is this snow? Is it snowing? Is this real? It turns out it wasn't like full on snowing. It was like, it's like the equivalent of like when it mists when it rains. So I still don't know if I've actually like seen snow snow. Well, I haven't, I haven't seen snow snow.

But you've seen like half snow. And that's better than some of us. Pretty snow. Oh my God. I'm so lucky. I've never seen snow snow. Well, I haven't, I haven't seen snow snow. But you've seen like half snow. And that's better than some of us. Oh my God. I'm so lucky. I've never seen snow. We should, should we? We can see the snow. In winter, we're only an hour or so

drive away from snow, but we- Is it real snow? I went there once. It's a lot icier, isn't it, Australian snow? I went there, not soft, and also was like, oh, snow for the first time, machine. I was coming out of a machine. Yeah, no, I wanted to fall from the sky

and it'd be a beautiful, whimsical experience like Mad Hat. And I want- In a city is wild as well, because you don't get that in Australia. That's from the cartoons. Yeah, yeah. Like someone saying, like, cold Christmas. Yucky. Snow. Roasting chestnuts over an open fire. I don't think so.

I'm roasting my chestnuts under the sun. If I ain't getting sunburned during Christmas. Up on the balcony with your friends. I did have like a winter Christmas last year. Yeah, you did, didn't you? Yeah. Could have been hotter. What's cold?

I'll say it was a white Christmas. I think you either wanted to be full white Christmas or Yeah. I had a beautiful time. Wouldn't trade my experience with the world. My sister-in-law is from Europe and her first summer here, it bucketed down rain. And all her family was calling her to be like,

oh, what's it like to have a hot Christmas? And this polka had to be like, it's 20 degrees and it's just like, it has not stopped being wet all day. Yeah. Yeah. Like just like me and my brother like cooking under an umbrella. Cause we're like, well, we only have stuff for a barbecue. Like we're not playing for anything else.

That's not really anything. Yeah. That's the worst of both worlds. All right, Connor, I'll start this one again. That's a fun snow chat for the end though. But yeah, no, that is, that does sound like living in itself. Even the baby head of a cheese is still kind of pretty extravagant. Having like a full mouthful and just being like, this is, cause cheese is so delicious. And then my brain always wants to like fill my mouth, like a squirrel does with nuts

and just be like, that's how I'll enjoy the food. If I just put so much of it in my mouth that I can barely chew. Okay. Um, and just having a big hunk of like the mozzarella is such a treat because it's such a dense, chewy. This is making me so, I'm going to make a list of food it's such a dense chewy. This is making me so I'm going to make a list of food. I got a shopping list.

I want I want. Oh, I already had the I already had the shopping list. Oh, perfect. I bought tomatoes and cucumbers and you can have one of each. I gave them Shazam and it's in, but I don't think they'll notice if you steal some. That's all right. I don't like either of those things. That's awesome. Matt, do you want a singular cucumber and tomato that I grew?

Yes. You grew them? Yeah. Why would I give them just like cucumbers and tomatoes? Right. That makes sense. I actually really like homegrown tomatoes. They taste different. Oh yeah, they're so nice.

Yeah. They got more flavor. What was that thing I wanted? Pasta. taste different. Oh yeah. That's so nice. Yeah. They got more flavor. What was that thing I wanted? Pasta. And mozzarella. That's on there. mozzarella eat the baby's head. Hey, I've, do you want to hear my shopping list? Number one, acid grapes. Yep. You love acid grapes. So you go and buy sultana grapes, really small ones. And then you like pluck them all off the vine and rinse them or whatever.

And then you cover them in citric acid and toss them all. So the citric acid dissolves into like also all the part, all the water in the like wet from the, and then you put them in the freezer. And then when you bite them there and then they're sweet. And, but they're also frozen. It's really, really good. Um, also, can I tell you my cool life hack of food, which was number two on my shopping list today?

Now I don't want this to get too viral and, you know, sell out. So I can't buy it anymore. But I, you can, so you can buy frozen meals for toddlers from the supermarket and they're cheaper than the meals for adults. And some of the brands tell you how many servings of vegetables are on them. And all you need to do is put spices in them. The butter chicken. I'm going to say it. It's mild.

I knew that you did that. So I was very excited to look at Matt's face, to be like the realization that that's what she's doing. And Matt was too busy typing. That's fine. And I'm so upset. Can we play the tape back? Okay. Yeah, would you like to repeat that for Matt, please? Sorry, Cass.

I've got a good life hack. I've realized I've not got one of the house answers in. So my life hack. You go to the supermarket. Oh, bit tricky to cook this week. Also, I don't want to do it. Okay. You look in the frozen meal section. Oh, bit tricky to cook this week. Also, I don't want to do it. Okay. You're looking at the frozen meal section.

Oh, bit spinny. How do I make a healthy choice for me and my body? Ah, you want to think like a new mom. You want to go to the toddler section of the frozen food aisle. You want to go to the section of the food aisle where they're listed how many serves of vegetables are on the box. You want to go to the section of the food aisle where they're listing how many serves of vegetables are on the box.

You want to go to the section of the food aisle where the vegetables are hidden, Matt. Yes. Now these flavors are not complex. The butter chicken is mild. The hidden veggie bolognese pasta, it just tastes like red, but you've got condiments, Matt. You can jush it up at home.

That's great. Yeah, it's really good. You can mix in your own cheese, you can pepper it up. And it's so much cheaper than a full-size meal. Yes, no, that's a good tip. It's a very good tip. I accidentally once got the, like a kid's ravioli. You know, like one of the main pasta a kid's ravioli. Oh.

You know, like one of the main pasta brands in the fridge. Yeah. Something or other. Yeah. And it was really, like it was just small raviolis, but they've got hidden veggies in there. Oh, this is good. This really just tastes like pasta with nothing else.

It really does. And there's veggies in there. And you get to pick how it tastes, but they've already done the vegetables for you. Yeah. That's crazy. That's a great tip. No, it's a good tip.

Maybe I'll accidentally do that again. I'm smart. Yes, Zoe? When they say, like, because they don't say like, oh, it's got two vegetables in it, it's got two servings of vegetable. Is that toddler size serving of vegetable?

Oh, that's a good point. You are the second person to point this out to me. Wow, that's crazy. It didn't occur to me that it's a different serving size for when you're young. It was the first thing everyone I told about this asked. You told people? I told so many people.

I told my dad specifically. That's fair, I worry. Is it a worry that I didn't ask? No. No, see, cause you've done it before. You've eaten a child meal and you're like. Yeah, I've drank this Kool-Aid, I'm fine. Hidden vegetables?

All right. Well, if I'm- look, if I'm not going to cook, this isn't bad. Yeah. But if I'm not going to cook, I'm just going to get like some frozen veggies. If I already have to chuck spices and stuff to make it taste better, then I'm just going to get some frozen veggies. But how are you cooking those? Just bung them in the oven.

Yeah, but then you have to wash like two dishes then. Not if you eat them directly off the tray. All right. But then I have to wait so long. It takes like 10 minutes for frozen veggies to cook in the oven. Our oven's not that good. That's fair enough. No, I forgot.

I forgot. You live in a weird house where nothing works quite right. That's a good one. Oh, my, another cool meal tip, a meal hack, soup noodles. So you go to the soup aisle of your local supermarket and you find the soup that has the most heat and vegetables. You want, you want one of those soups. You,

my tip for buying food items is you want to buy it from someone who seems scared. It's like, you want to buy it for someone who's really worried. Like with the, with the toddler food, the moms are concerned. They're like, they're like, there's no added this, there's no added that, that there's this many vegetables and Hey, that's probably better than something I'd make myself. You go to the soup section where they're like, it's, it's, there's nothing,

we just blended up like four veggies. I'm picking that, right? You bung that in a shallow pan and then you grab some pasta. It doesn't matter which. And your condiments. And you just start stirring over a low heat. And what it does is the soup is liquid, right?

But it sucks into the pasta. So the pasta has so much flavor and the soup becomes thick like a sauce. I don't know how she ruined pasta. I didn't. I, so if you're not, if it's really hard, no, it's not. And you can eat it out of the pan and you, then you've got

soup noodles and soup noodles lasts days. It's one pan and it's like a meals. So maybe you wash the pan and the thing you put it in, in the fridge. The soup noodles, huge. Love soup noodles. That's great. I'm so happy that you have found a way to exist in this planet that no one else has ever discovered.

I think it's beautiful. Thank you Matt. I hope my word is spreading. I've really, I'm good at- They're gonna run out of child-of-mills in instant surplout. Oh no, the problem's gonna be that the kids section's gonna be sweeped clean.

Do you know why I'm comfortable saying this? Cause these are already ticked off my list. The next thing, next one tip is going to be baby formula. Okay. It's like, you just have water and it's like milk. I think that's hidden vegetables in there. There's hidden nutrients in there. Do you reckon? Calcium is good for you.

Now I'm not going to use the baby formula. Okay. Babies think that. You can't take that back now that you've said it. But do you reckon, cause I don't drink a heap of milk. I don't want to waste all the bottles and stuff. Could I just get powdered milk and just add it to my tea when I want milk? Cause that's, it's just water and, but the tea already has water and I want milk.

And then it's not going to be cold and cool my tea down. That makes sense. Am I the smartest woman in the world? Yeah. Sure. Yeah, I think so. Yeah, that's awesome. Let's put that to the test with the next question. Oh no.

No, your answer is already in. Oh no. I think I might be stupid. Oh, I'm one of those stupid bitches. Oh, love back. Alright, we're up to our final question. But yeah, you're right. The correct answer was bacon for happily married couples, which is a bit of fun. So they got same sex marriage in, which like, doi.

But not vegetarianism. That's so interesting. Yeah, I wonder. Like, we draw the line. Maybe, maybe there's also a- Your lifestyle choices will not be represented in this court. Maybe, yeah, the vegetarians could receive fake in, I don't know.

Yeah. That's so much more expensive. Which, in, I don't know. Oh, yeah. That's so much more expensive. Which, you know, it won't even be a better price. Which is crazy because it's not a life. You know? Yeah, it's just like lentil or something. Is it? And smoke.

Oh my God, so much liquid smoke. Do you remember when we could buy liquid smoke? I'm glad. Ugh. Not a fan of liquid smoke. What's liquid smoke? It's just like some smoke flavor. It's like it's liquid smoke and they's liquid smoke? It's just like- It's a smoke flavor. It's a smoke flavor.

They're like, it's liquid smoke and they put it in everything. They're like, doesn't this taste like meat? And it's like, you just don't, you've not used a barbecue since you became vegetarian, I guess, because that's just the smell of barbecue. There's nothing in there. That's like when you go to Hungry Jack's

and you know it's just gone through like the grill, but it tastes like, you're like, oh, flame grilled. It's cause they use liquid smoke. Oh, is that a lie? Yeah. I think that's kind of just a fib. They're trying their best. Oh, he kind of thinks probably so hungry.

Don't they still print? Do they just print on the grill marks? Yeah. Yeah. Because they don't advertise as flame grilled. No. It goes through a little broiler. Oh my God. Yeah, how do they advertise?

Maybe they don't. I just I remember them being flame grilled burgers. I watched a documentary on how they made Burger King and they were like, yeah, and then they add liquid smoke to it. Oh, but that's different to Hungry Jacks. It's the same. Well, it is, isn't it? Yeah, right. It is. We just aren't allowed to call Burger King Burger King in Australia. Because of the Burger King we appointed.

Because of the singular Burger King. Good in Australia. Because of the Burger King we appointed. It's the singular Burger King. Good for him. May his reign live long. What is the synopsis of the 1999 film Can of Worms? I've seen this movie. Fuck. Has that ever happened before? It has.

Uh, yeah it has. Do you know what it is? No! Hmm, interesting because you are, if you, I mean if you just keep that under your hat... Yeah, you could have just said nothing. You'd have a nice advantage because. I didn't want to cheat. Cas has been real honest about it. Wait, it wouldn't have been cheating.

It would have been the same as how you knew that that other thing. Yeah, it would have been the oven thing. You knew that too. Oh my god. Pop ting ping? Pop ting ping. Pop ting ping. It would be the same as that.

Um. We can keep going. I just, just take me. Connor, you've got going. Just tell me. Oh, you've got scissors. Yeah. May I just not say that we can just do it again and I cannot say that. I think you were. Yeah.

Maybe just reveal it at the end. Yeah. Castle guest first. Yeah. Oh, no, I think I should get second. I actually can't remember that much of the plot. So I'll ask it again. Yeah. second. I actually can't remember that much of the plot. So I'll ask it again.

Yeah. I won't gut reaction to panic. It's crazy you didn't do that for the first one. Because I didn't know until Matt was doing the- Oh, yeah. And it was like, as soon as he said microwave, I was like, oh, I've heard this fact before. Right. So I didn't know. I heard Toaster and was like, have I heard this before?

Yeah. I remembered it wrong. Well, I had written Toaster, so I knew't know. That's why. Toaster room was like, have I heard this before? Yeah. I remembered it wrong. Well, I had written toasters, so I knew what was going on. Oh. Yeah. This is going to be really funny if I get this answer wrong as well, because like I can vaguely remember it's about aliens.

Oh my God. You just. Why did you say that? Oh my god. Matt, are you able to change, like, the characters in all of the stories to say alien? That is so funny. You one of those stupid bitches. I just apparently never had a thought in my life ever. You have! You've just never had a filter.

You have had every thought in your life and I've heard all of them. Every single one! I've been present for. I'm so sorry, am I annoying? Oh no, oh my god no. I get it. You have a thought and it's like I'm having the thought because I hear it in the exact same time you do. Everything you say is news to both of us. It's good because we share the one brain cell so it's like it's I can help you work it out I'm sorry. Can we do that man and just put the word alien? Maybe it makes sense just to change it I'll be like, I'll just be honest, I don't know about that. That's great.

I'm sorry. That's so funny.