Who Knew It with Matt Stewart - 132 - Mish Wittrup, Suren Jayemanne and Dave Warneke

Episode Date: March 24, 2025

Who Knew It with Matt Stewart Dave Warneke is a comedy game show podcast hosted by Australian comedian Matt Stewart Dave Warneke. This episode features guests Mish Wittrup, Suren Jayemanne and Matt Stewart!Check out Matt's stand up special: https://youtu.be/cWStRpI-BhESupport the show via http://patreon.com/dogoonpod and you can submit questions for the show!See the podcast/Matt live: https://www.mattstewartcomedy.com/Check out Matt's podcast network: https://dogoonpod.com/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Welcome to Who Knew It with Matt Stewart, the podcast where the guests write the wrong answers. I'm not the titular host, Matt Stewart. I'm Dave Warnocky and today things are a little different. Our first guest tonight, you might know him from the podcast Who Knew It with Matt Stewart. It's Matt Stewart. Oh my God. He's playing.

I'm so nervous, so excited. You know, a couple of big threats, you haven't introduced them yet, but I see them both equally as big of a challenge as each other to me today. Well, going toe to toe with Matt Stewart tonight, you might know her from our upcoming comedy festival show, Off with Her Head, it's Big Wet Miss Witchrook!

Hello! Oh, what a joy to be here for your first time as a competitor. It feels so weird. Yeah, what a choice if you're going to compete for the first time and you bring in the big guns. Oh, I know. The wettest of guns. The wettest gun we have.

Yeah, you've got the wettest gun in the studio, you fool. I think- You absolute fool. I think I just got the that I just have to have the key players you two are the big the big two guests the ones that everyone's always requesting and and Dave as well and The guests Well, yeah, that's probably pretty true. Actually, one note is how I would describe the actual host

and going toe to toe against them tonight. The driest gun in the studio from their upcoming festival show. There's a world where my head ought to be. It's syringe. I'm on. Yes, we've got all kinds of guns in here. Yeah, any environment. Wet gun, dry gun. You'd want your gun to be dry. Yeah. To be fair. Some guns don't work underwater. But some do. Do you reckon back in the Wild West there was ever a let's make our guns as wet as possible before we do a

shoot off? Yeah, let's see what happens. Can you imagine? I reckon that did happen at some point. Add some slipperiness to the equation. Yeah. You gotta run up to like that horse trough that's in all those western scenes. Yeah. Pull out a gun at random. Yeah. Ten paces or however many paces you go. But there's detergent all over the ground so you're slipping. It was up to me if I do 48,000 paces. Okay. From the other side of the world. I'm gone. That will never shoot me.

When Dave, when I messaged Miss to see if she'd be up for doing this on an episode where I was playing, she said, oh, don't you want to start out with an easier one? Yeah. You're going full pro. So we should give the context here. So I don't usually host this podcast. I have hosted it once before when we were live in Brisbane and we'd already sold all the tickets and unfortunately Matt was sick on the day so I just did the quiz.

But Matt didn't get to play and that's something you've been wanting to do for a long, long time. This is episode 133. Finally, you are getting to play your own game. Yeah. But you needed a host and you needed someone to write the questions without you You know obviously seeing them so you've outsourced both those jobs Hosting to me and the quiz writing today comes from a great listener of this show Thomas Doppelwriter

The fantastic patreon supporter of ours all the way from Austria. Yes from Graz I think I'm saying that right we met him when we did a do go on in Berlin. We all went to see Franzl Rom together. That's right, because he's also. You did a do go on in Berlin? Yeah. That's amazing. Yeah, about three or four months ago, yeah.

Was it fun? It was a lot of fun. Was it in like an underground nightclub at 2 a.m.? It was so underground. You and heroin. Yeah. Someone's pissing in your mouth and you're like, do go on. Yeah. No, iting in your mouth and you're like, do go on.

No, it was very, very fun. And then afterwards, yeah, one of the reasons that we sealed the deal with Berlin was that Matt and I saw that friends of Ron were playing that night. So we went in. Thomas is also a punk rock fan. So it was great to hang out with Thomas there. And he's put together a six question quiz. So you normally write the quiz, but today your doppelwriter has.

Is that his name? Yeah, yeah, great. Your ghost doppelwriter. I reckon it was a friend's role when I put it to him that he could could he write the quiz? And he's a trivia king, Thomas. He like I think he has like a European ranking or something. Yeah, he travels around the circuit. Yeah. And yes, there's a trivia king, Thomas. He like, I think he has like a European ranking or something. Yeah, he travels around the circuit.

Yeah. And yes, there's a circuit. Do we trust that Thomas hasn't angled the questions to favour Matt Stewart? Oh, good question. Looking at them all now, they are all about friends are wrong. Friends are wrong and Matt's parents? Oh my God. Oh God, this could be embarrassing.

So around like, ding! That's what I'm having. Show works. I'll answer this one. Oh god, this is gonna be embarrassing. So her hand's like, ding! I guess I'm gonna have to show her. I'll answer this one. Now before we get into the game today, we've all played before, but in case people haven't heard before, this is how the game works. You get one point if your fake answer is guessed by the other contestant, and another point if you correctly guess the correct answer. By the way, I, Dave Warnock, am also playing as The House.

Oh my god, very Matt Stewart. Yeah, you practiced that. Yeah. I like how he put his own spin on it. No, that was you. No, yeah. That was you. And I, well, Thomas has put in his own fake answers, two of those,

for each question. And The House gets a point for each of those that our guests choose. So you can screw up to two points per round. It seems fair, but the probability actually favors me, the house. And the house always wins. So if you've listened to previous previous episodes, you'll know. Why don't you just let Dave say the house? This is not necessarily the case. Why do you keep coming in and saying it?

Anyway, I'm going to read out the first question for you. OK, let's get playing. We always start with the definition of a word and we're coming up with a German word today. What does the German word och? Katzel schwaaf describe I'll say that again Can I have a spelling? Yeah, I'll say it's ot otch Katzel schwaaf. Oh a ch K a t Z L and this is all one word S C H W O A F O TCH Katzelschwath. What does that describe?

That's why the answers are coming in. I'll say that usually the questions, and this is technically the case this week, questions come from our fantastic patreon supporters anyone on our patreon can submit a question to who knew it with matt stewart and the Where you sign up is go to patreon.com Slash do go on pod and you'll of course be supporting who knew it with matt stewart uh the other podcasts i do with matt and jess perkins do go on and My podcast book cheat all at the same time and you get rewards like bonus episodes and all sorts of other nice little goodies including I'm making

me making this show happen all right the answers are in okay the question is what does the German word Och Katzelschwaff describe is it one the last stale sip of a pint of beer. That's option A, I should have said A. So you say, did you say A or one? How do you use a candidate? Normally I, no, yeah, one or A is both great. I think you're improving the show with every word you utter. So.

Right, option two, B. The description of a married couple that do not participate in sexual intercourse with each other, but have had one or more sexual partners before their marriage. That's so specific. Very German. They love a specific. That's right. I always think about there was early days, there was a German word that was like,

I can't remember what it was, but it meant a specific kind, a stalker bird who's had an arrow through them and has flown back, still alive or something. That's very poetic. Yeah. Interesting that you know about the specificities of German words and then- Well, I mean, I learned it from this show. Yeah, okay. Fair. Okay. And then well, I'm gonna learn it from this show. Yeah, okay Okay, does this word mean that situation where you bump into your doppelrider and they write

Will be interesting because this never happens where all the questions are written by the same person So we'll probably get a vibe for his fake answers by the end You're saying you haven't written any fake ones yourself Dave. No, I wouldn't rewrite the writer. Doppelrider. You should. Feel free if you got time to maybe have a double pass. Yeah. Doppelrider's doppelrider. I've doppeled with the devil. Okay well I'm finding them all believable so far. All right, option three. One who follows the crowd literally translate to a grain in the silo. is the crowd literally translate to a grain in the silo. OK, so option three, option four, the correct way to eat a vice verse or vice worst.

Sure, I'm saying that correctly, which is in brackets, it says is a white sausage. The correct way to eat a vice verse white sausage. So, Howard, what's the word again? So you tell me I'm eating it wrong, right? It approached me. Oh, you're me I'm eating it wrong, right? It approached me. Oh, you're sorry for that sound. Mate, you were doing it wrong. This is how you Och Katzelschwaff.

Okay. Okay. Yeah. Oh yeah. Because it's like Och would be eat and then Katzelschwaff. Would be this way specifically for a peanut first. But option five is the fluffy tail of a squirrel. The fluffy tail of a squirrel. That's cute as shit.

Option six, the German word for please stop peeing in my mouth. Often said with a mouth full of pee. Okay. For those at home who like to play the which one is Sarennes game I'll try my best not to do play it on pod, but I've got an inkling. What are you talking about? I'm pretty certain I know which one Matt wrote and I'm pretty certain I don't know if I know the answer, but I'm confident. OK. OK. Do you want to talk us through that or you just want to keep that to yourself? It's up to you, of course. Well, who goes first? You got to decide the order and we rotate it through. But I'm confident. Okay. Okay. Do you want to talk us through that or you just want to keep that to yourself?

It's up to you, of course. Well, who goes first? You got to decide the order and we rotate it through. I'm going to go clockwise, so I'm going to go miss something. Oh, I like that because she's just sort of said she thinks she knows the answer. But maybe I was throwing you off. Oh my god. And also, you don't have to talk me through the-

This is baby stuff. This is like level one math. I actually remember now, I've never played the game with Big Wet. I've only been your assistant. It's fucking intimidating. You've been in the splash zone but you've never gone for a swim. You could be drowning in minutes. All right.

I think that the answer is a grain in a silo thing. OK. That's the one you think you want to lock in? Yeah, I'd like to lock in that. I have to make a note of that because I'm very scared about making wrong. Are they big with metaphors that the Germans? Feels very... because the other one you said about a stalk with an arrow or whatever. It's very literal, isn't it? Yeah. It is very literal. They potentially have. Very literal, isn't it? Yeah.

It is very literal. They potentially have two kinds of words, I don't know. Well, can I hear the... Wait, can I just hear which one Mish thinks? OK. Can you just quickly run through? A little recap? Yeah, very quick.

OK, recap. Recap. So last sip of a stale pint of beer. Married couple who do not participate in sexual intercourse, but have had two sexual, at least one or more sexual partners before their marriage. The one that Miss just went for literally translate to a grain in the silo. The correct way to eat a vice versa white sausage, fluffy tail of a squirrel or the German word for please stop peeing in my mouth.

I'm going to lock in. Piss mouth. Go on. Go on. Do it. That is... Yeah. The very first one was... The last stale sip of a pint of beer. Yeah, I think that...

Because it's the sound that you make either when you... The last sip and it's like a bit warm and you're like... Oh, it's cuttle swarf. Or it's the sound you make with a mouthful of you know, oh, it's cuttle swarf. It's the sandwich made with a mouth full of pee. It's one of those two, I think. Yeah, it's a mouth full either way. It is a mouth full. Kind of a stale liquid.

Yeah. Just so I'm correct, are you locking in pee? Stale, but fresh from the sauce. Um, yes, please. Pee? No, no, no. You can't, the house is more decevious than usual. All right. Deceive you.

You've gone to the last step. All right, Matt, you can talk us to the board here. So you're going to the beer one. I was wondering, to me, I'm like, Germans don't leave beer at the end for long enough to all do that. But maybe some of the big steins. Oh, they do have the big steins. The big steins.

Um, I like the fluffy tail of a squirrel. Um. But what do you think is the answer? I think, I think I'm, I'm, I'm going to go for the sex one. The married couple who do not participate in sexual intercourse. And the pitts one is Sarenne, right? We're quite confident about that. Alright, so Matt has locked that one in as well.

I can reveal who wrote each of the answers. The German word for please stop pinging in my mouth was Suren. Fuck, alright. The correct way to eat a white sausage or Weisswurst, that is Thomas Dopperrider wrote that. That's inside knowledge.

Yeah. He knows how the sausages are made over there. Yeah, but also they need to be like a white sausage, you fucking idiots. Thomas also wrote the last stale sip of a pint of beer. Oh, well done, Thomas. So there's one point for the house there. Oh, so Mish is still on the board. The description of a married couple that do not participate in sexual intercourse

that Matt went for, that is Mish. I would guess Mish as well. Let's see, if there's points for guessing. What was the right answer there, Dave? Well, there's actually two left because Mish locked in one who follows the crowd. Not the right answer. Grain in the silo.

That was mad. Oh! You went for each other. Oh! Oh! Meaning no one got the- Oh, okay, okay. I can end the game happy there.

I got a point off Mish. Beautifully shipped. Oh, good job. Where did you get Grain in the silo from? Yeah. That's really good. I think it was, I started with Oat. I'm like, it sounds a bit like Oat.

I under-rested. I under- I'm like, turn that into Grain. I think it was I started with oat. I'm like it sounds like I'm like turn that into grain. I underestimated you, but it's cool. Is this part of the game? Yeah I'm just having fun. You never underestimated it. Let's be really clear. I genuinely just really enjoy being here That means the correct answer is the fluffy tail of a squirrel answer is the fluffy tail of a squirrel. Oh! Fuck! I was drawn to that and I'm like too silly, too

whimsical. I assumed you were a beer boy. Yeah, I didn't, I did like the beer one, but yeah. And it did make sense when you said Stein, but I'm like, are they leaving? How long do they have to leave the beer for to get stale as well? You said it was stale. I think it was in anyway. Go to the table

Okay, we're gonna move on to your question number two Okay, and I'll tell you more about the squirrel while they're writing their answers question number two is which of these is a specific type of butterfly You have to name specific type of butterfly. All right while they're writing theirhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh uhhhhhhhhhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh But it's mostly used in Austria and Bavaria to check if people can speak their dialect. I think, sorry, they're obviously too interested in writing their answers tonight. That is an interesting fact, Thomas. And I wish I'd read this earlier, but Thomas has written, a pronunciation can be found here and has given me a link.

All right, let's just see how close I got. I'm going to plug in the aux cord here. Okay, so this is from the Wiktionary, how to pronounce what I thought was Otsh Katshulshwaaf. Oh my god, that was spot on pretty much. Not bad. That was really good. One more time. Play it again?

Oh wait. Alrighty. Not bad. Not bad. Alright, question number two, the answers are in, and remember it was, which of these is a specific type of butterfly? These are your options. Is it A, fluffy bellied Jeremy?

B, flapping Sally? Love that. C, California dog face? Oh. Is it option D nut disco E The grand squid. Oh my god. These are fantastic. Well finally F. I can't believe it's not butterfly Not to be confused with margarine flop So you're just going to put strength on us every time? What are you talking about?

What are you talking about? I've put one in myself this time. I normally put in. Do you feel like a bit left out? I thought I put one in there. Why did you make it harder for us? Does it make it harder for you? There's more options now.

Oh no, sorry, there's still six. I replaced one of Thomas's with one of mine. Just to be more involved. Oh, okay. Oh, it's just more. Oh no, sorry, there's still six. I replaced one of Thomas's with one of mine. Oh, okay.

Just to be more involved. Oh, okay. So there's still only six. No, come on in. The water's warm. It's fun. I think it is more fun to do that. Yeah, I'll try and put one in.

Unless I'm really pushed for time, I'll normally put at least one in. Where else is Dave going to be able to use the phrase, not disco? Yeah, true. It's been rattling around his brain for weeks. I just copy and pasted whatever I'd last copied. Not disco. Yeah, true. It's been rattling around his brain for weeks. I just copy and pasted whatever I'd last copied. Not disco camera. No, sorry. So it's Siren's face?

Oh my god. Can you read them again? We've got a backseat host here. Yeah, feel that. Can we read them again? Run through them again, please. So we've got our fluffy-bellied Jeremy, flapping Sally, California dog face, nut disco, the grand squid, or I can't believe it's not Butterfly,

not to be confused with Margarine Fly. This is this is the kind of thing where you feel like every answer you have got the chance of making a fool of yourself. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, I can't believe you thought it was this. Yeah. And it's California Dogface, not Californian Dogface. Sorry, I mispronounced it once. It's California dog face. OK.

I'm leaning towards California dog face or grand squid. But my favourite is Flapping Sally. Flapping Sally is a wonderful drag name. Excellent drag name, Flapping Sally. I'm going gonna, yeah. Because it's beautiful, beautiful story. You know, it started life out as a caterpillar and then...

Became a Flappin Sally. Into a Flappin Sally. What do you think its caterpillar form would be? What would it be called at that stage? Greg. Greg. Oh man, that is so unquiet. What a transformation.

Yeah, exactly. I'm gonna, yeah, I'm gonna lock in Flapping Sally, I love it. I love that you did that. Nice one, Sren is locked in. I really like them all. Um, I thought at first, the first two were Jeremy and Sally, I'm like, are they all gonna be people from around the office? You know?

But I, I don't know, I think, I definitely feel like I'm maybe making a fool of myself, but I'm being drawn to the nut disco. Being drawn to the nut disco. And which one are you locking in? Are you locking that in? I'm going to lock that in. Fantastic. Matt is nut disco.

Big wet. That's interesting. Oh, that is maybe change what you're going to do. No, I just I'm so surprised that people didn't go for the California dog face. Oh, yeah, that was. But then I was like, that does sound like something someone could make up. Oh, that would that was high on my list, but I just gave preference to the one that sounded my favorite.

Fluffy Sally. It just was a roll. What was Jeremy again? Fluffy bellied Jeremy. There was something about, I don't know if it was Californian. I don't know why, but California, I'm like, you know, you're looking for reasons to knock things out. Yeah. I'm like, oh, and if it's California, I'll go with, oh, California.

Well. We're here to have fun. Right? It's just a game. It's just a game. It's just a game. It's just a game. I reckon he might have written California Dogface now. But I'm gonna go with it. I'm gonna lock you.

Nah, look at this little bastard. I don't know. I hate this. Matt is putting the sunglasses on. As is Big Wet. This is so uncomfortable for me to sit in between these two. It's really weird, isn't it? The tension is palpable.

We can have a couple of her big fun. If it is his, I hope he wears it with pride. I'll go with California dog face. Are you sure? Yeah. OK. It is, he wrote it for sure. And Matt's taking the glasses off. OK. Let me walk you through who wrote what.

Name a specific type of butterfly. The grand squid. That was Mish. Oh, that was really fun. I'll walk you through who wrote what? Name a specific type of butterfly. The grand squid. That was Mish. Oh, that was really fun. The grand squid? I think it's almost a name too good for a butterfly. Butterflies are famously beautiful.

It's bigger than that. Yeah, squid couldn't live up to that. I feel like that should be the name of, you know, like a skyscraper. That's how good of a name it is. It was great. Thank you so much. There would be one in London on the next to the onion and the barge or whatever. Yeah, the the shard.

Yeah, the shard. The gherkin. I love the gherkin. The grand squid. The fluffy bellied Jeremy. That is Matt Stewart. No one, no one ever knew. I nearly did. I nearly did. I changed it last minute. belly doctor. It just didn't just didn't have any sort of rhythm or ring to it Jeremy

I Can't believe it's not butterfly. Would you believe that was syringe? I'm good That has surprised me, but the three you you locked in oh So one of us is right one of you is right. Oh Flapping Sally I was written by myself. Oh fantastic. Oh my god. It's gonna be nut disco Not disco That was written by Thomas the house Correct answer miss you are right right it is the California dog face. Well done Mish. So I think it's two points for the house and one point for Mish for getting it right.

California dog face. Can we have a look at this thing? Oh do you mind if I permission to google? Yeah bring it up. California dog face. It is so fun. It's California is a, it sounds like sunshine, you know? If it had been Californian dog face, would you have gone for it? I think so. What a gorgeous butterfly. I was gonna- Oh, that is spectacular.

That is very California. This is obviously gonna come in the facts section, but I'll just reveal to you now. That is California's state butterfly. Wow. The California dog face. That's crazy. Also, its scientific name is Zarene Eurydice. Oh my goodness.

That's so nice. And then it gets called a California dog. Zarene Eurydice, if that was a human being, everyone's got a crush on Zarene Eurydice. Yeah. Oh, Zarene's in the office again today. Zarene. Yeah. And then you get to know her and she turns out to be a bit of a California dog face.

I love this butterfly. What's the, is the dog face like, on which to be a bit of a California dog Butterfly what's there is the dog face like maybe the pattern looks a bit like a dog is that what's the dog face? I'm guess Dave's gonna explain that they both have the characteristics of having yellow orange and black wing coordination I'm giving like this is Dave's job for later. Oh, that's the dog face That's the eye. Yes, that does look like a dog. Dog print. So that's a sign. There's two dogs and they're kissing a caterpillar. Yes, it really should be called dog's face.

Yeah. And it's in California, so it should be Californian. Yeah, that's a reasonable request. English. Anyway, we've got a hard out. All right. All right. Question. I'll tell you a little hard out. All right. All right, question. I'll tell you a little bit more in a second, because question number three is, what

not so nice cognomen, which I'll explain in a second, did James the Second of England receive in Ireland? So, cognomen is like the something like Ivan the Terrible. Right. And what's- And it's a negative one. Alexander the Great. Can you read the question for me again, please? the terrible. Right. And what's- And it's a negative one. Alexander the Great. Can you read the question for me again, please?

So what not so nice cognomant did James the Second of England receive in Ireland? What do they call him? James the something or a few words. Do we have a year? Good question. We don't have a- yep. Do you want me to- I can give you one if you like. No, don't think I can.

Are we allowed to do that? He's the James Stewart, right? So he's like James the eighth or something of Scotland, James the second of England. Are you all right? I'm trying so desperately to play this mish like, and I just, I don't know what the trick is. I'm just saying things like, yeah. In my head, you're like, yeah, boom. In my head you're like,

oh he has a bit of knowledge, I better guess whatever he wrote. Doesn't make any sense. Alright, the answers are in for question number three, which was what not so nice cognimant did James II of England receive in Ireland? Was it A. James the Repulsive

B. James the repulsive B James the third toenail from the right that's fun C James the thick-headed D James the marsh dweller, James the tiny fingers. Oh. So it's the repulsive, the third toenail from the right, the thick headed, the marsh dweller, the beshitten or the tiny fingers. What area is he from again? He's a King of England and Scotland. Tiny fingers, you wouldn't give a king that that's more like it I want to be Trenchman

Yeah, it's tiny fingers Like all Royals have tiny fingers and that's an inbreeding. They're all webbed Tiny and webbed. And touching their cousins. Yeah, I personally love our royal family Wait I wasn't making a judgment call on any of that I personally love our royal family Currently the hottest care ahead to your family that might be true, but we're going back quite away here So Matt it's your turn to lock in first. See if I can remember some. Repulsive, third toenail from the left. Right.

From the right, okay. Well I think either way, when there's five toes, that's the same. Well it depends which toe you're starting on. I assumed one of the extreme toes. What else do we have? Thick headed. Thick headed. Thick headed. Marsh dweller.

Marsh dweller. Beshitten. Tiny fingers. I'm gonna have to go Beshitten. I don't know why it spoke to me and I'm speaking back. I'm hearing its call and I'm saying yes. You're going for James the Beshitten. Locked in.

Mish. I'm so sorry can you just real quick just run. Repulsive. Third toenail from the right. Thick headed. Marsh dweller. Beshitten, locked in, mesh. I'm so sorry, can you just real quick just run? Repulsive, third toenail from the right, thick headed, marsh dweller, beshitten, tiny fingers. I think it's marsh dweller or thick headed. You've gotta choose one. Yeah, I know. I'm just having a look at his.

This one, Sarenz doesn't stand out, which makes me worried I just picked Sarenz. No, Sarenz is the third toenail one. Are you alright? Yeah, I don't know what I was thinking, sorry about that. Or the Beshitten. Which is the one you went for, you silly boy. I'll go with Thick-Headed, why not?

Only now, because I'm now hearing it as... No, I won't, I'll go with thick-headed, why not? Only now, because I'm now hearing it as be shitting? No, I'll go with... Third toenail. No, thick-headed. I want thick-headed. I didn't realise, if it was be shitting, then it was Saran. Because he said it like be shitting, I'm like, that sounds fancy. It was so long ago, They're not saying shit. Yeah, it's um, it's even spelled be a posture hyphen

shitting yeah So the Saran's am I locked in? Yeah, you're locked in I'm afraid. Okay, I Would like to So it's Ireland right and they he's come over to Ireland and they're like, we did not like this guy. I think it's probably thick headed as well, but because Mastralla doesn't feel this is the guy I always trip up on this when I'm like, you know, this is not interesting enough for Matt to have picked this question. And then I offend both the writer.

Well, luckily, it's only one person you're offending. The Austrian Thomas Doppelrider. But even if it's a boring answer it's like a great question for people to put in. Yeah it's really fun and incognito. Yeah it's a fun word to say. Great word. Um I look I think it's stick-headed as well but I don't want to just copy Mish. So I'm going to say Marsh Dweller. Marsh Dweller. It's amazing that as soon as Matt picks one of Saren's answers, now Saren's playing to win.

I have a chance. One point I can get another point. Be shitting. Fuck. Okay. These are who wrote the answers. James the Repulsive. That was Thomas and the answers. James the repulsive. That was Thomas and the house.

Good stuff. James the tiny fingers. That was me and the house. James the third turn off from the right. That was Seren. Okay, good. Oh, you're stealing the shot. One of you has picked the correct answer.

It's probably Matt. Mish picked James the thick-headed. That was Matt. Oh my god. Saren picked James the mastweller, which is Mish. Meaning the correct answer is James the beshitten. That's another point for Matt. Two pointies!

Beshitten? And you, you were doing me a favour and you said I was locked in. Yeah. I guess so. I was ready to change it. Save me from myself. I guess you haven't moved too far from the house. James the bitch shittin' But that is like, now you're like, yeah you'd send that in.

If you stumble across on that. Yeah, that's a great end. James be shittin' in. Is that what it means? He's just like a guy. Shadalot. I can explain when I get the next question. This is funny. What happened there is because in my head, I was like, yeah, maybe it is James to be

shitting. And then you both convinced me that that was the answer I wrote. Which Dave goes hyphen. I was like, yeah, I would put a hyphen in. Let's have a hyphen in. Let's have a quick score check. Currently on zero points. It's Sarenjai Manna.

I'm playing my game. But then, add in front on an equal three points, it's Matt, Mish and the house. Whoa. Woo Lord. And with that bombshell, let's go for a quick break. Acast powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend. Hey you, yes you, who love podcasts.

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And we're back. I love doing an impression of Matt. Normally you've asked the question before and like there's the pretense that the break was us writing the answer. But really, why would you do that? Like, I don't know. Yeah, you know, efficiency or whatever. Well, let's go for a second quick break. I'm just going to do like 50 breaks. You're going to get some of that sweet ads.

Yeah, that's right. Just keep chucking them in. I assume I'm getting paid for this one. Okay, we've got question number four here, and then I'll tell you a bit more about James the second of England. Question number four is, Ching Dogu, Ching Dogu,

are inventions for everyday problems that are way too complicated to be used. A bit like a Rube Goldberg machine. ThomasTopwriter asks, in 2015 Japanese company Kagome developed a Chingodu named Tomitan. Tomitan, what does it do? What is it? So it's T-O-M-A-T-A-N. So we want to have like a quick description of what complicated or uncomplicated task this thing does. Sorry. We want a quick one word description of what complicated thing this is used for. A one word description.

Sorry. What we want is just like a one. I'm just trying to. Yeah, let's say how much we need to write. Yeah, it's like a phrase, a short phrase describing what complicated task this machine does. OK. Or this invention. And while they're writing their answers, let's go for a quick break. You are good at this.

And we're back now. I want to tell you a bit more about James the Beshitten or James the Be-shitten. Thomas Tupperider explains to us, James the secondhitten or James the Beshitten. Thomas Toprider explains to us James the second of England deserted his Irish supporters and thus became known as Seamus and Shaka. Which translates roughly as James the Beshitten or James the shit. So good. I think that's awesome. So proud of my great, great, great, great potential relative. Louis Speltz-Stewart wrong. So proud of my great, great, great, great, great potential relative Louis Spotschort-Rong. So why was he doing that?

Some of the French got involved. You know, when they get involved, things go awry. All right, the answers are in. In 2015, Japanese company Kagome developed a Chingodu named Tomitan. What is it? These are the descriptions. A. A spoon slash tripod hybrid to take better pictures of your food. Is it B. A device that automates the task of slicing tomatoes using a miniature katana. C. A robot that feeds tomatoes to

runners. Is it D. A special microfiber towelette that absorbs moisture at twice the speed. Whoa. Typically kept inside one's gun holster. Were we talking about wet guns on the show? Yeah. This is a callback. That feels like something we might have talked about off-pod but... What the wet gun thing? Yeah. No, I think that was on plug. I guess that's correct. Yeah, that would be a crazy coincidence otherwise. Like... Second last option, a hat that collects rainwater and filters it to be drinking water.

Oh, that sounds good. A hat? That's... okay. Or finally, a robot attached to your bed that is programmed to pour coffee directly into your mouth when your alarm goes off. Oh, that also sounds a bit serene. Only it's coffee not pee. Oh, I just broke my phone.

That's alright. She fixed it. So can I ask a question quickly? Yep. The, you described it, you said it's a bit like a Rube Goldberg. So these are meant to be like kind of tongue-in-cheeky. Or are they actual inventions? Describe, inventions for everyday problems that are way too complicated to be used.

So I don't think practically many people are actually using them. But it's kind of a fun thing to be like, I think, I've never heard of it before. This is from Thomas's description. It sounds like a fun thing Took off because it wasn't Super practical. Yeah, that's why I go. Okay. Well the microfiber cloth thing isn't because that's great You just made a better microfiber cloth. Why would you be like that? That's too absorbent The gun yes, I know but I'm just saying that I want an absorbent. But it is very specific, the gun. Yes, I know. But I'm just saying that I want an absorbent microfiber cloth. It absorbs moisture at twice the speed.

The speed of moisture. Yeah. Whoa, we're breaking the moisture barrier. The moisture speed barrier. Whereas like, and then I look at the spoon that takes photos of food and I'm like, that's cool. I mean, like, that's cool. I mean, like, and how would that be a complicated thing to use, you're just eating.

I mean, I don't know, but I'm thinking that's because it's you'd have to be heavy. It's a very impractical way to take a photo of your food. Am I right in saying that there were two tomatoes? And there was one that was automate the task of slicing tomatoes using a miniature katana and also a robot that feeds tomatoes to really automate it though, doesn't it? It just, it's a better knife.

Yeah. Or does the knife cut foot. I would interpret that as it's moving. Like it's a robot, a robotic knife. Oh, right. I will go with the runner's one. A robot that feeds tomatoes to runners locked in for Mish Sarant. Where did you get the running part? Where does the running fit into that?

Okay. This just waved away like I give no secrets. I like the... The tan is in Melbourne where people run. Oh yeah, that's what it is. Yes I'm gonna go with the coffee machine only because you've described it as like a Rube Goldberg esque. Yep Okay, so they both looked in lots and so that's when you wake up a coffee is directly poured into mass and I am aware That I'm currently on zero points and it's part of me wants to get through the whole episode as such.

So, yes, let's lock in the coffee. To equal all of your previous episodes. Yeah. Have you scored a point? No, he didn't. I didn't think he scored a point the first couple of episodes, but then he got on a real run of scores. I've won one. He beat David Astle.

Oh my God. Which is like a word genius. Yeah. Which is, yeah, makes no sense. That was the one time you tried though, wasn't it? I think so, yeah. I've heard, I haven't heard of tomatons, but I've heard of that genre. There's things like umbrellas for your shoes. It's this Japanese thing where they'll like over complicated inventions to solve problems that are pretty frivolous. Why would-

The thing about the rain hat though is like can't you just drink the water straight? And again that's a really good invention. So why would it not be everywhere? I think the weird thing is that it's a hat. Yeah you're carrying around rainwater. You're wearing on your head. You get very heavy here. I don't is that it's a hat. Yeah, you're carrying around rainwater. You're wearing on your head. Very heavy. Yeah. I don't know. Maybe it's the tomato thing is interesting.

It does feel like it's right there in the name. But it's Japanese today. They would have their own word for tomato. Oh, Dave, is that true? I think they have a word for tomato. Are they aware of English language or whatever? The word for tomato in Japan I believe is tomato. Okay.

Yeah. All right, so I'm rolling out the washcloth. What else do we got? So much trust there. You guys have, yeah, moved on from the sunny days. Well. Oh. There's no point taking a word for it

or not taking a word for it. You just gotta move on. Because there's always something in there between the lines there. But if you don't pay attention, you can't be tricked. That's it. Dave, what else do we have? Two tomatoes. A spoon, tripod that takes photos of your food.

Or bed that takes pictures. A special microfiber cloth. A hat that collects rainwater. And a robot attached to your bed that gives coffee into your mouth Which is rent seren's locked in the two that mish Talked about a bit. I assume one of them is hers the spoon one and the water hat Because she did it was a classic mish sort of Lightly probing them.

But she also tried to discount them. Yeah, yeah, that's that's classic mish. She tried to put it back in your mind, but obviously she didn't write it because why would she have questioned it? But she questions it in a way that is she's not really pulling it apart. I'm in his head, man. I fucking got mish. And then you started in my head and you just burrowed deeper as the show's going on. I was initially thinking about the tomato feeding one that Mish went for.

But what? Can you read that one one more time? A robot that feeds tomatoes to runners. Yeah, the only reason that's holding me back is like, is that a thing? Tomato runners eat tomatoes? But I don't know, I feel like that one I'm drawn to. I'm gonna go for that one. Which Mish would rightfully say is a coward move. Yes.

So Mish. Absolutely, I think you're scared. You're both locked in, feeds tomatoes to run. I just think that's right. I think the tomato thing is right. And the one about the katana, it's too perfect. And I don't know if it would have been sent in from Thomas Doppelrider.

Which one do you think is mine? I think yours is either the rain hat or the spoon tripod. But I also think the real one is probably the other one that's not yours of those two or the tomato runner and So I'm going with tomato runner. Okay. Yeah coward move. Yeah Okay, the answers are locked in let's see here at them a hat that collects rainwater that was Thomas stopple writer Okay, so miss right the spoon one can you the spoon one next I can so miss wrote the spoon one. Can you do the spoon one next? I can Thomas also wrote the spoon Keep in mind I came into this going he's looking for my tricks. Yeah

To do any trick. That's exactly right. But now the next round you're gonna do your tricks Yeah, that's just all right are you going to do your tricks? Wait, wait, I just want to hear what Dave has to say. Absorbing moisture at twice the speed. That was Saran. Okay. It was the speed of light, by the way. That's the speed of what?

Is that what you wrote? Yeah. No, no. That's what you meant to write. Speed of what? When it was questioned, I had to come up with an answer. That's what I was preparing. That's so funny.

Very impractical. The one that Matt described as too perfect, katana to slicing tomatoes, that was written by Matt. Yeah, I was trying to do Mish-like stuff but that already locked in their answers so it was too perfect, it can't be that. I've already said the spoon tripod. Saren locked in a robot attached to your bed programmed to pour coffee, that was Mish. Oh, both Mish and Matt are correct. It is a robot that feeds tomatoes to runners.

I have a confession. I knew that. Oh, well played. Well, I didn't know that's what the name was, but I remembered hearing a story about this thing that feeds runners tomatoes. And I was like, oh, that's too. Yeah, one of the odds of that. So I'm not that bright why do they need white tomatoes yeah that was the only thing that was stopping me from going for it but I was also the there was the one I was drawn to because I wrote the other tomato on which I

couldn't say I'm like that's the it's one of the tomato ones it's not my one. Alright, Matt. Instead of saying it's not my one, I said that other one's too perfect. I thought it was really, really sweet how you tried to be like me. That was really cute. So Thomas has linked to like a promo video for it. It weighs 8 kilos, this thing. And I'm sure Matt will link to this on the socials. So perfect. But this is what it looks like.

You're running a lot. Yeah, I remember this. It looks like, it looks like you're like piggybacking a child on the top of your head, on your neck, and then it delivers the tomato. That's, that's just- While you're running. And then it puts it in like a ball gag.

Oh, I like it. And you, yeah, you eat a tomato like an apple. This would make sense for it. Tomatoes are loaded into that you eat a tomato like an apple It was an apple thing that would make sense so bizarre But is that a thing in Japan you run as eat tomatoes? I Think is that part of the joke? Italian thing I would make like tomatoes in Japan like as in the design of them

There are a lot of clothes and stuff. He's the guy with one on a treadmill. Is that the inventor? I think it looks like it might be. What a great looking robot though. Yeah, it's awesome. I want it. Yeah, I love tomatoes. I couldn't eat them like an apple, though. I could.

I normally I'd make it a sandwich. I'll chop it up and I'm like, well, there's only a there's a third left No point putting this in the fridge or anything. I'm gonna I'm just gonna eat it now. Good good stuff So it's two points to miss there and one point to Matt Do you quick score check serene on zero the house for behind on three Matt on four, but miss add in front on five People are just for this to go. Oh, I thought that was one two to go. People are just falling off their chairs with surprise. Wait, there's two to go. Oh, I thought there was one. Two to go.

Oh, fuck, all right. Yeah, now I'm in your head. Stop it. I'm claiming your- You're in there going, help me. I hate this. All right, question five is, what strange headline was on the website of The Independent on February 2nd, 2016?

The Independent. Yes. 2016. February. So what strange headline was on the website of The Independent on February 2nd, 2016? Is your process going, what was it, planking that year? Yeah, yeah. What was that year?

And while they're writing their answers, let me tell you more about the ten rules of Chindogu. This is from Thomas apparently for it to qualify as Chindogu. They must exist Cannot be for real use Must have a spirit of anarchy Are a tool for everyday life Are not a tradable commodity, must have been created for the purpose of humor alone. Sorry, must not have been created for the purposes of humor alone. Humor is merely the byproduct. If you're laughing, that's a bonus. They can't be propaganda,

not taboo, cannot be patented, and are without prejudice. So, invent without prejudice. So invent without prejudice, George Michael style. All right, the answers are in for question five, which was what strange headline was on the website of the independent on February 2nd, 2016 was it? Shocked family opens assorted biscuits only to find no assortment at all. Love that. Serenity.

That's not me. I wish it was. It's better than mine. B. Tom Hardy. More like Tom Handy! Exclamation mark. Oh.

C. Does that mean like handsy or he was, he helped someone out? You know, he was handy. He came in handy. It does sound like whoever wrote it was probably just thought it was like a really, well, play on words and then it gets released and everyone's just like, that means jerking on someone's dick.

Tom Handy, oh God. What? I'm trying to remember back to 2016. Was he done for jerking off in public or something? Tom, was he? I don't know, I'm wondering. I don't know much about him. Yeah, I don't remember.

Yeah, it feels like that's the kind of thing that if it was true, we would all be very aware of it. It'd be the first thing you think of when you think of Tom Hardy. Yeah. And with a name like that, you can't go around giving handies. You can't. There's certain things that you just can't do. You have to go around receiving handies. Yeah, yeah. Or is it C, Italian reporter attacks rowdy football fan with inflatable banana on transfer deadline day.

It's a long headline. It's a long headline. That's the kind of thing that I would say, you know, would any of us write, but Thomas, you might be big football foot, but like transfer deadline day feels like real inside baseball terminology. Like a European would write that. Also, I just, I would like to flag that you also just said base bill. It's really, you got base blimp.

Sorry. You just want to know a lot about the game of base blimp. I'm sorry, I think I slipped in Austrian again. That's their word for it, sorry. Best blimp. Best blimp. You just got to know a lot about the game of Bez Blem. I'm sorry, I think I slipped in Austrian again. That's their word for it, sorry. Bez Blem.

Bez Blem. All right, was it D, city installs anti-pigeon disco lights on statues, accidentally starts impromptu dance parties? Oh, that's fun. That's D. Was it E, loream Ipsum Dollar Sit Amit. That's like that's that gibberish Latin that's used for filler. Is that right? I'm explaining someone's answer, possibly. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. When you're trying to make a...

That's like the nonsense they put in. Yeah. Oh, OK. That's fun. Or was it A, B, C, D, that's fun. Or was it? A, B, C, D, E, F. Final option. Drowning man's life saved by love struck donkey. Drowning man's life saved by love struck donkey. Okay, so I think we're back to Cyril Ren first. I've heard people say this a bunch of times on the show.

They're like, keep waiting for the right one Yeah, oh, what's none of them? wrong Do you need a recap at all? Yeah, run through it Shocked family opens assorted biscuits only to find no assortment at all Tom Hardy molly tom handy Italian reporter attacks rowdy football fan with inflatable banana on transfer deadline day City installs anti-pigeon disco lights on statues, accidentally starts impromptu dance parties. Loram Ipsum dollar sit ummit.

Or drowning man's life saved by love struck donkey. Man, yeah, there's nothing sparking joy in these. I hate the word enjoy. They all hurt me. I feel like the Pigeon Lights is a kind of story that would happen, but then I also, it's too long a headline for a front page. And I'm also worried that I've already been wrong with a disco one today, you know? Oh yeah, not disco. Which I think I'm... I will say it was a headline on a website.

Oh, then... Oh, that makes me think that Laura Mipsum once did. What a strange headline was on the website of the Independent in 2016. Then it could be, because that's like... Just to not discount some of the longer ones maybe. That is classic. Yeah, they do that sometimes where you'll see it in captions where it'll be like Fix later this fuckhead. Yeah, just fuck it. Oh, yeah Websites, you know

Journalism isn't what it used to be. I'm afraid the noble profession Well, while while sir and still thinking I'm gonna lock in the disco thing because you'll have to come in and yeah you know Because I don't want to be accused of Mish again of hang on. Of what? I haven't said. Mish was very keen for me to lock that in. We can. OK, well, I'm just saying that I've jumped in before as well.

I have, in the past I've jumped in. I think I'm leaning toward Lorem Ipsum thing just because it's the website But I'm gonna stay true to my gameplay style and I'm gonna go with my favorite I was wrong, but one of them does spark joy Tom Hardy more like Tom That feels that feels like wordplay written by an Austrian to me I think that sounds like wordplay written by like an old man that's been working for the independent or whatever for a really long time. And he was like, this one's cheeky. Yeah, I get the vibe. He's a sub, he's churned out five of these a day. So I'm feeling like, I feel like Sarenne might have written that Lauren Ipsum one. Or just the way he's playing it feels a bit Mish-like.

Where it's, I'm almost gonna go, no, I'll go this other one. Yeah. Just a bit of honesty. Seren now Mish's in my head in your head. Webber Bush Godowing via Mish. Which are just out of interest, I'm just interested to know. Which one of all of them are you 100% sure I didn't write? Obviously can't say the one that you wrote. I don't think any of them. You 100% sure I didn't write? Obviously you can't say the one that you wrote. Um, I don't think any of them.

You don't think I wrote an answer? No, no, no, I'm just saying I- You were watching T-Tux. I would not put it past you. You could have written any of these. Um, but I'm going to go the- I'm going to go the disco one. Okay. Fool me once disco, shame on me. Fool me twice disco then.

I'm, I'm gonna go Laurel, Laurel, Lauren Ipsum, whatever. Because even if Saren wrote it. I know, I kind of wanted a reward in for that. However, I would like to say this. If you wrote it, you have played this very well. I wish. No, but even still that, very well. And I tip my hat to you, so you deserve the point.

But I'm going to go Lauren Ipsum. OK, it's locked in. I'm wondering though, just because Mish asked that question, which one she definitely didn't write, makes me think she wrote the Deadline Window one. Deadline Window? Yeah, the one about the... Inflatable Banana and the Riding Football. Why?

Because that's the one that I would have thought you wouldn't have written, because I said before that sounds like a European football fan wrote it, but I don't... maybe you are a European football fan. Okay. Because they have deadline windows. Well, let's... Here's a fun fact, they were locked in, right? Yeah.

I've talked about the one I wrote. Like, it's come up. Oh, she wrote the best bleb one. The best bleb? Yeah. What's best? But I just thought I should say that I have in this little conversation talked about it to a point that you were either considering it or you picked it. Oh, no. Let's find out.

Yeah. Dave with a little twinkle in his eye. He's just like, I just thought I should let you know that I still got it. That's all I'm saying. Yeah. I know for fact, I have a point. Dave, what do you think about, how do you feel about seeing this from that perspective where you're like, you're seeing big wet in action,

knowing from the start. Oh, it's a joy. Yeah. Isn't it amazing to watch? But isn't it also, don't you like she's sick? Like she's a sick woman. She's diabolical. Yeah, she's an absolutely horrendous human being.

Throughout the show though, all of you have mentioned your own one at least once. Yeah, Seren and I are like, we're sitting at- Seren's mentioned it, he's like, I wrote that one. It does feel like we're sitting at the feet of Socrates or something. Would that be relevant? Socrates? He's had feet. Big wet to Socrates top? Yeah Socrates? He's had faith. We're at the Socrates top. Yeah Well, let's find out

What strains headline was on the independent February 2nd 2016 who wrote what I wrote shocked family opens the sorted biscuits Then we had Drowning man's life saved by love struck donkey that was Matt Stewart. Okay. I Thought love struck donkey was a great. I'd written, I'd overwritten it. I had a man reward savior with lifetime supply of pasta. I'm going for too much here, but it, but it wasn't enough in itself. Still good. I thought that the donkey one was Saren.

Ah, that's high praise. I thought that the dog key one was Saren. Ah, that's high praise. In a way. Matt went for City installs anti-pigeon disco lights. That was in fact Thomas Dopper out of that house. He's written two disco lights. I totally picked yours. My logic was that he had a real disco one in there

and subconsciously wrote a fake disco one. But he just wrote two fake disco ones. I think I picked Saren's and had off two for it. Well played if that's true keep going while saran locked in Tom Hardy more like Tom handy that was me That's so funny and what in your mind were you picturing him well, I just remember in 2000 Like where was I in 2016? Oh I went to Europe for the first time in 2016 and I remember that was when I was like fuck Tom Hardy's hot. So that's how I got to well Tom Hardy would be a headline on something because he was

hitting fame real hard around there. That's real good. Missed locked in Loram Ipsum. Oh my god. That was Seren. It was the window. Very good. Meaning the correct answer is Italian reporter attacks Raudi football fan with inflatable

banana on transfer deadline day. There's a lot going on there. Seren, talk us that you did a fantastic job of being like, oh, I think this could be this one. But what were you thinking when you wrote that one? I knew that it was a website, so I was thinking like, I reckon I'll be able to, because they were expecting a joke answer from me. Maybe I can sway them this way.

And I even seeded it at the previous answer. I was like, you know what, I'm going to go for zero points. Yeah, what you did there was beautiful, man. And I did probably what you're hoping. I jumped in and said, oh, that's... I almost thought I had you as well. Because you can't explain it, right? If you're explaining it, it seems a bit sus.

Yeah. But then in turn maybe, did I make it seem sus, but not enough for Mish? Because Mish is always two, three, four steps ahead. I thought it was going to be Pigeon or Laura. So I would have gone for Pidge, right? But you went Pidge. So I was like, I can't go Pidge. But I will say this.

When I picked the Saranzans, I truly meant it when I said, if he gets a point for this. Hey man, that's quick, we're cool. That's huge praise. Huge praise. But also you have picked mine almost every question. So thank you for all those delicious points. All right, let's do a quick score check before we go on around.

We should. Yeah. Can we? Yeah. We can. Sorry. No, we can. We can. We're the worst.

Sorry. What the listener's not understanding right now is that they all want to punch me in the face. I said, yeah, all right, you can do it. Let's go. Let's do it. That's all good. All right. Final score check before the final round. On one point, it's Syringi mana. Thank you, Big Wet.

The house and Matt Stewart are on four points, but leading the day on six points each The hard thing for me to say it's mish witcher, but I wanted to say big word as well So anyway, it's a big wet on six points. Yeah But the final round as we always know is triple points. So let me get the question. It is a movie synopsis question. What is the synopsis of the 1966 movie Rat Fink Abubu? And Fink is spelled P-F-I-N-K.

What is the synopsis of the 1966? Okay, but how is a boo boo spelled? A and then boo, space boo, but boo boo was capitalised. And I'll tell you a bit more about Transfer Deadline, that headline from the Independent from 2016. We read the opening sentence is, Transfer Deadline Day is renowned for attracting rowdy football fans wielding increasingly outlandish pranks against reporters as they attempt to deliver live bulletins.

Reporting live outside Stanford Bridge, an Italian journalist decided to get revenge upon one unruly football fan who began to ambush him with a giant inflatable banana. After creeping up upon the unwitting journalist reporting for sportitalia, the bearded man begins to repeatedly poke the reporter with the inflatable fruit and rub him exuberantly on the head. Initially the reporter remains stoic in the face of the annoying antics, yet just after 20 seconds of irritation he finally snaps with hilarious consequences. In scenes reminiscent of slapstick comedy, the reporter takes matters into his own hands, snatching the banana away from his ratty adversary and

wielding it upon him instead. He's just hitting the shit out of him with a banana. Alright the answers are in! The final question, all on the line with triple points, what is the synopsis of the 1966 movie Rat Finger Boo Boo? Is it A. This psychedelic fast follows hopeless rube Derek Wilson as he inadvertently joins the notorious Rat Fink Outlaw motorcycle gang due to a case of mistaken identity. The more he struggles to escape the grip of the criminal enterprise, the higher up the chain of command he climbs, soon becoming the branch's VP.

Soon the gang is more fun time than bad crime, but things come to a head when the group National Leadership comes to town. Is it B? A mild manner laundromat owner, Rat, discovers he has the power to communicate with Lint from his customers' clothes. The Lint reveals secrets about the lives of everyone in town and soon Rat finds himself in a bizarre adventure to save his laundromat from an evil corporation that wants to harness his quote, lint wisdom for profit.

As the stakes rise, Rat reaches out for help and finds Boo Boo, a kid that died in the laundromat I love when there's like a whole extra element just thrown in at the last loop. The final sentence. Is it C. Lonnie Lord loves two things, rock and roll and his girlfriend, C.C. Beaumont. When C.B. is kidnapped by a gang of thugs and held for ransom, Lonnie teams up with his gardener Titus to get her back. After transforming into the crime-fighting duo of Rat, Fink and Boo Boo, Lonnie and Titus

head out in search of the kidnappers, but they find their search completed by a gorilla that's just escaped from the circus. Let's see. Is it D? Alfie Maguire has finally scored a date with the woman of his dreams. But not as all as it seems when lover girl Flick Beatty invites Elphie to pick her up from her grandmother's house. A haunted mansion on Mars!

What follows is a series of raucous events that land Elphie in some seriously hot space water. Will he defeat the Martians and get the girl all in one night? Then we've got, I think this is E. When Grumpy recently deceased Grandpa Lou discovers he's a ghost stuck in the local bingo hall, he decides to make the best of it by helping his granddaughter, a struggling bingo enthusiast, win the biggest prize of her life. Struggling bingo enthusiast.

However, he soon learns the Bingo Hall is haunted by several other competitive spirits who will stop at nothing to see their own descendants win. Hilarity ensues as Grandpa Lou and his spectral rival Sabotage Games rig cards and haunt the Bingo caller in a battle of paranormal wits. That's good stuff. Oh, finally, F. When Rat, a rat with a lisp, thinks he's seen a ghost, he exclaims, Rat Finka Boo Boo, the famous eponymous catchphrase

from this excellent film. It turns out that Rat thinks correctly. He has seen a ghost. He has seen a ghost too, in fact, rat, boo and boo join forces to set up an ice creamery serving after dinner treats to unsuspecting locals just trying to find their way home. An excellent turn from Jimmy Stewart in brackets, rear window and Geoffrey Rush in brackets that defamation suit.

1966, Geoffrey Rush as well. He young! I mean it could be, could be. Yeah, young Jeffery Rush. Matt's going first. Um, so can I get the name of the movie again? Is it Rat Fink A Boo Boo or Rat Fink and Boo Boo? It's Rat Fink A Boo Boo. Because I thought I liked that one about the crime duo, but the fact that they're called Rat Fink and Boo Boo makes me think you'd probably name the movie that if that was the case. Or, you know, I don't know. And then that last one was Saran.

Is there any? Is there something in the title that is ghostly? It's the boo, I guess, because there was a lot of ghost ones. Outlaw. Can you give us like a very brief? Yeah, I feel like this is very, they all do merge together. Okay, first one is, Rub Derek Wilson inadvertently joins the notorious Rat Fink Outlaw motorcycle gang. Second one is Laundromat owner Rat discovers he can communicate with a lint from his customers clothes.

Love that, yep. And people are trying to sort of take his powers. Lonny Lord loves two things, Rock and Roll and his girlfriend and then they team up together as a crime-fighting duo, right? I wanted that's the one I was leaning towards but yeah, it's just that name thing Then we have I like that alpha McGuire's finally scored a date with the woman of his dreams Then they end up in his grandmother's house a haunted mansion on Mars Then recently deceased Grandpa Lou discovers he's a ghost stuck in the local bingo hole and he's trying to help his granddaughter.

Yeah, that one's sick. But there's other ghosts. Or finally, a rat with a lisp, Rat Finka Boo Boo. The one that's surrenderin'. With a rear window, Jimmy Stewart and defamation suit, Jeffrey Rush. Oh, yeah. I think it's, I reckon I'm going to lock in the bingo one because I feel like Rat Finka Boo Boo is like

rat finger boo-boo number two You know Eleven yeah, I think a boo-boo I I kind of look in one yeah I'm no actually I want Matt to go first. Yeah I was gonna say why you've given up your advantage here. Yeah that's crazy. Um but you are locked in, locked in? Yeah. So that wasn't his.

There was a few- once you said it I'm like yeah there were- Why would there be a movie about bingo enthusiasts? Everyone and yeah the 60s they still had all options on the table. I think the bingo enthusiasts is like that's why there's so's so many ghosts there, because old people play bingo and they're all dying. It could be a bit of a... And 1966, they were wild. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly.

You did jump in it. Yeah, that's a... Yeah. The two... The outlaw... I don't know, there was someone about that. Um, crime duo. But it's just, if it wasn't for the... I'm just going to go with that crime duo one. I but it's just if it wasn't for the- I'm just going to go that crime duo one. Yeah.

I think it's- So, sorry, we're going to go crime duo- Even though Mish wrote it. Lonnie Lord and C.C. Beaumont. OK, yep, so that's Matt. So, I think that when it comes to really good film descriptors, like film, like plot lines or whatever, outlines or whatever, there is often a weird descriptor in there.

So like very particular like names of characters and stuff like that. Oh, Jeffy Rush. Yeah, like that, you know what I mean? I'm also gonna go crime duo, but I feel like that seems unfair because that means that like, that really looks like I'm trying to win. No, no, if that was what you're going for. That's what I was going for. Because I did that to you before as well.

Yes, I know, but we're right at the end here. And if it's right. I think your reputation will probably take a bit like big wet. People are going to start saying maybe mid-size wet. Yeah, exactly. This was this is a small wet kind of move. But if or big moist. Oh, yeah. But ifist is lower than wet.

Is it true that if Seren wrote this one, you've both locked it in, he will win the game. No, because I'm on eight points. Oh, so I can't catch up from one. Am I on six points? You're on six points, and he's on one, so he would pip you by one. If he wrote this. But we're all pretty sure he wrote this. I was trying to build some suspense, Jesus Christ. I could also just be fucking with Matt, because I might have written this. If but we're all pretty sure I

Could also just be fucking with Matt because I might have written this I know I've won Yeah, I just want you wrote the bingo one and you know, you're one Which would be I mean? All of these are great reveals to finish on and whatever you're on Somehow it always ends up as the final results being been read out, there's a beautiful surprise. Yeah. So if you could manufacture one of those. No don't, go with your heart. Alright let's find out. My heart says crime-fighting Joe but that's not fair at the end is it? It's fully up to you. Yeah. Only because the one I wrote had a similar structure to how this one was written and I wrote it thinking like about the same thing.

So. The motorcycle club. Huh? Is that it? Mm-mm. All right. I'm going to lock in fine. It's that. Is everyone going to come for me now because I feel like that's me just fucking. Well, you are being a coward and that will be locked in now with the big wet. You play the game to get a lead. You can then protect that lead. Yeah, you don't have to. Yeah, basically flooding.

You're flooding back. You park in the bus. Yeah, big wet loves to flood. You're parking. If anyone's gonna flood it's gonna be big wet. I'm gonna go with the crime fighting duo. Okay, both of you locked in. All right, let's find out who wrote the answers. Triple points on the line. Crime fighting duo, Saren. If you win this, this is the best game we've ever played and I will never come back.

Okay. I'm afraid Saren didn't write that because he wrote, Geoffrey wrote Jimmy Stewart one. Yeah, great. Is there something in it that's like self preservation? If you don't really put yourself out there, seriously, you can't be rejected. Is that why you do it? Yeah, comedy. The Lint one that was written by Thomas Dopper. I loved it too.

OK. The Derek Wilson Rat Fink Outlaw Motorcycle Gang. That was Matt's turn. A little light mission at the end there. Oh, you mean the motorcycle? I had a feeling. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It was. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. When he read it out, there was a couple of like soon. The word soon was twice within like seven words. Oh, that's clumsy as shit. Yeah, yeah. When he wrote it out there was a couple of like soon, the word soon was twice within like seven words

I'm like, oh that's clumsy as shit. Yeah true. Grandmother's house a haunted mansion on Mars with Elphie McGuire. That was Mish. Hello. Leaving two left. The one that both Mish and Matt went for and the one that Seren went for. Oh my god, it's gonna fucking be Seren- They're not still 1, so it's fine. The local bingo hole that Seren went for, that was the house, that was another Thomas hole. Meaning, the correct answer is the crime fighting duo of Rat Fink and Boo Boo from

both Matt and Mish, both getting triple points there. If you did that the other way around, I would have won. So you, your cowardice actually was heroic. Yeah, thank you so much. So final score check, don't get ahead of yourself. Wait, no, no, no, no, no. First you tell us about the movie. How'd it go on Rotten Tomatoes?

Oh, okay, quickly. No, don't do that. I'm just gonna go. Literally, I was like, I'm a heart out and it's 20 minutes after that. 49%. Okay, not bad. Okay, in fourth place tonight, top four on on one point it's Srinja Amana

Thank you for saying top four, Matt, never says that We don't have to rush at this point by the way, it's fine The house, only got one point there, didn't I? Well the house, because there's not triple points, finished on five points In second place, it was so close on seven points, it's Matt Stewart, but winning the day, big wet, nine points! Yeah, she's done it again! Well done. That means that I have now won more than I've lost because the last time I was on it was

a 50-50 split. Wow! That's a great hit. Don't you think? That is a great hit right here. 9 has to be one of the highest scores. 9's pretty high. Well that's because you picked everyone.

Can I say? Mish, looking at this, you scored at least one point in every round. Yeah, that is a beautiful display. Including the triple at the end. Beautifully played. Beautifully played. Oh wow, that might be my best game. It's because Zach's not here to just fuck me up.

Next time, I want to graduate to one day playing Mish and Zach. Wow. And just be eating a lot. Oh honey, you aren't ready. Yeah, so you've got a long way to go, my friend. I know, I know. One day. This was a joy. Oh, honey, you aren't ready. Yeah, so you got a long way to go. I know, I know. It's not one day. This is a joy. So fun.

Thank you so much for joining us, everyone. Where can we find you quickly, Mish? You're doing your stand-up tour. Yes, I'm touring. I've just finished in Adelaide. You missed that one, but I'm doing Melbourne and I'm doing Sydney comedy festivals. My show is called Off With Her Head. And you can find me on at Mishwitcherup on all the socials, but mostly the gram.

Love it. Thank you. Big wet. Saren. Hello. You can find me at Saren Comedy on all the socials but mostly the gram. Love it thank you big wet Saran hello you can find me at Seren comedy on all the socials but mostly the gram as well and I. I'm gonna be at the Melbourne comedy festival the international one and it's I'll be at the Melbourne town hall every night of the damn festival. Love it. Uh, it's a show called There's a World Where My Head Ought Be. So good. Looking forward to seeing it. Town Hall, that's the big leagues. That's like the MCG of comedy venues. Oh my gosh. It's a, yeah, it's a little room somewhere in the bowels of the town hall.

But come, come see me. Yeah, it's awesome. Can't wait. And Matt? I'm doing a show called, uh, Bad Boy. I'm at Spleen, uh, during the Melbourne Comedy Festival. I'm in Adelaide. I can't a show called Bad Boy. I'm at Spleen during the Melbourne Comedy Festival. I'm in Adelaide. I can't remember when this comes out.

I've probably been going to be in Sydney Perth Comedy Festival. Find me at Matt's short comedy on Instagram and other places. I'm also going to be in Adelaide and it may have come out by then I think. I'm there from the 18th to the 22nd of Adelaide. When's this coming out? 18th to the 22nd of March. This is coming out on the 1st of Adelaide. When's this coming out? 18th to the 22nd of March. This is coming out on the 1st of Adelaide.

If you haven't already. Pretty much the only month that Adelaide really comes alive. I think calling March Adelaide, probably works. The 22nd of Adelaide. And just quickly, finally, I'm doing my standup show. Dave Warnocky dates the entire audience with Sammy Peterson in Adelaide, Sydney and also the Melbourne International Comedy Festival. Very exciting.

Beautiful. So good. Can't wait to see that show and all of your shows to be honest. Very exciting. But that is the end of the show and as we always say here, now you're Warnocki, I've been Dave Warnocki. Goodbye. Bye. I'm nervous I'm excited.

Yeah. Can't believe I'm going toe to toe with Big Wet. Imagine if he's really bad at it. Well imagine if today I fail. I'm usually good. Also today's my bad day. I mean, but he doesn't even consider me competition You're just the plus one No, you you play the game in an interesting way

And yeah, I I respect you as a competitor and we'll see you on the other side. It's not a reflection of how I see you as a person. I think you're great, but you don't stand a chance. I can't tell if there's a typing sound effect on it or one of you has very long nails. It's Seren. I can't tell if there's a typing sound effect on it or one of you has very long nails I've got I got nail polish on to try and stop me from biting my nails. Is that working? So far so good. Yeah, is that a taste thing or because you look at and go I don't want to ruin this It's it's just I don't't think it's a taste thing,

I think it's just a mental line in the sand, you know what I mean? It's like, I've done this, now I can't. Yep. You know what I mean? Oh my god, oh my god, I just sent it to the group chat. Do not read my answer! Do not read my answer! I'll copy and paste it and then you can delete it. That is... Go go go. I've got it, I've got it. Amateur hour stuff from Big Wet. Or is this Big Wet shenanigans? Already.

Unsent for everyone. Unsent for everyone! Message unsent! Oh no, I've hit pin. I've hit pin. Did you see it? Did you see it? No.

No. They saw it! I didn't see it, I'm still writing mine. Okay. I don't trust these guys. I can't believe I did that. That writing mine. I don't trust these guys. I can't believe I did that. That is a rookie move. No, you've done that to throw them off.

Did I? Maybe I did. Seren was remarking before we started that the last time he messaged me on Facebook was when we did the live episode at Comedy Republic. It is always funny going back and seeing messages to Matt and you just got six absolutely insane out of context things. Well what did the messages say though, specifically Dave? Well I can't reveal my sources. What was, Saram before we started recording was saying the last thing you two had sent to each other, what was it?

Oh it was like from the live show that we did. I knew it, but I. The specific answer was I am horny, to be clear. So the last message that Serena received from Dave was a message on a Sunday afternoon at about three o'clock and said, I am horny. And there was no reply. And before that, it said a blue J.

Can only be found in Guatemala. So I misspelled blow J. Blow J. I'm sorry, I've misspelled blow J. Oh, it says unavailable message from Saran. Message sent before this device was added to this conversation. Saran, did you include a graphic picture with your answer? It's come through now. It's written on his dick in a photo. I blocked him after he didn't block that.

You just said to me, I am horny and then you blocked me. Actually, here's a fun story. Yesterday, I was in the podcast studio with my friend Zach and it was ten o'clock at night and we couldn't get something to work. So, we had to call the infamous Beck Patratus. Oh, right. So, I picked up my phone to call Beck Patratus. At ten o'clock. Yep, at ten o'clock.

Well, she's- I'm sorry famously, is awake until like 5am. Because she's always on a- Taking phone calls from me at 10am. She's always on a sugar high from- Yeah, no, but I knew she was awake. I knew she just, she'd finished work like half an hour ago. And I was just like, how do I turn this off, right? So I went to call Beck and I pressed the button and was like talking to Zach, whatever.

And then looked down and I called a different Beck that I worked with maybe 12 years ago at 10 15 at night but it rang until she answered she's like hello hello and then I um this is literally last night immediately hung up going oh my god oh my god Zach is just like what the fuck and I hung up and then immediately blocked her. You know, to call back and say, you have been blind. You called me, you have been blind. That's so funny. Another flawless impersonation.

Yeah, God, I'm good. Obviously you've heard that a few times. I've been blocked by so many people. Which is so ridiculous because I'm not very good at this game. No, you are fantastic. You did message the group chat. Yeah, I know, exactly. So I'm obviously a deeply flawed human being. Can I just say that Matt's just come in here with beverages

for everyone except me. Hang on. Hang on. Hang on. I don't, Conrad, is that who edits your thing? Conrad. Conrad's probably better. Conrad, we'll go with that. Let's just, don't, do not cut this.

Matt has just come in with a bag full of coffees and juices for everyone except me. He spent $13 on me. Yeah, that's crazy. And he spent zero on you. Yeah. That's very rude. Yeah. How rude is that?

I'm sorry, Mish. As the host. No, hold on. Hold on. I don't want to play that game. He offered and I said, yes, I'd love an iced oat latte. And then he went, fuck you. Yeah.

I tipped it out. Why does this other oat latte in this bag. Yeah, yeah. I tipped it out. Why is this other oat latte in this bag covered in human shit? I found an old workmate of Mish's named Beck. He was really confused downstairs. I tipped it on her head and said, You're blocked. Fuck you. Can I change mine, Dave? I don't like it. Yeah.

Give me quick. All right. I don't like that one either. Yeah, it's pretty hard, isn't it? It is hard. I was saying to Mr. Fawke- This was not my best work either. You peaked with the grain of silo, I reckon.

I thought, yeah, that was pretty good. I've also put one in. So was mine. We'll give him credit. Mine was excellent. Yeah, but we're all expecting that from you. Okay, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's true. It's like, you know, Shakespeare and not me

are sitting in a room. Yeah. And people are like, oh, Shakespeare, oh, nice thing you've written there. They're going, Matt. Yeah, he writes to be on. You can hold a pen. Yeah.

Hey, good to you. You can hold a pen! Yeah! Hey, good on you! Hey, good on you! Hey, good on you! Dave, just nod at me if you like it. Dave, just nod at me if you like it. Oh, I actually haven't read it yet. Already. It's good stuff.

It's fucking great stuff. James, just nod at me. I mean, stuff. James just nod at me. I mean Dave. James just nod at me if I've been getting your name wrong for years. That is my little name and I know you know that. No, there's a character named James in mine. Anyway, just nod at me if you liked it. Are you going down, man? Matt, the man who's written more of these than anyone else on earth and he's taken a little while here.

He knows what's up. The stakes are different now. Yep. I would say that this one I often just take the two suggested written ones by the question writer because they um they always do a great job and it also feels bad like going I'm going to take one of these you know you're like I did this take a bit of effort Thomas just put in so much effort to write two of these like proper synopses on yeah Dave do you want to take over hosting full time?

Is this more fun for you? This is so much fun. I mean, I really enjoy hosting as well, to be honest, but it is so fun to play. The problem that I always thought, because Claire Hoop has also offered to host one time, like... Oh, fun. It feels... She'd be fun to play with. She'd be so fun, yeah. But it just feels like you're going, hey, there's more work than it seems and I'm sorry that I can't help with it at all because if I help either then I can't play.

Can I host sometime? Of course. That would be fun. Yeah, that'd be sick. But I would put in my own answers. Yeah. Can I come in with the questions? Yeah, you could do it all.

Can I take over this podcast? I'd 100% do it. 100%? I'd write with the questions? Yeah, you could do it all. Can I take over this podcast? I'd 100% do it. 100% I'd write out six questions. The big wet house. Oh, the big wet house.

Please, yeah, I'd love it. That way, I mean, it would be fun because you could still mess with my mind. Yeah. Even more so actually. Yeah. It'd be fun to do it live. Next time that you want to, if you ever want to do a live show where you're playing.

Okay. I'll host. That would be fun. Yeah, let's do it. I like the idea of doing like, you know, Josh used to do little residencies. It'd be like every Sunday afternoon for a month or two. He'd do his show that I love and I'm blanking on the name. I was going to say have you been paying attention but that's a different thing.

No no it was the one. Who do you think I am? Yeah who do you think you are? Who do you think you are? Yeah. So don't you know who I am? Yeah don't you know who I am? Yeah just in a bar like there was a bar.

You don't know me. You don't know me. Who do you think you are? I am. That is why I did it. Who do you think you are? I am. What was that? What was that? A ten bin bowler. Is that Steve Weaver or something? That's right. Perfect game or something. Yeah, Bowler around us is like, I can't believe I'm handling him. Who do you think you are?

I am. Who do you think you are? I am. That is why I did it. What are you talking about? The best. So good. Yeah, he was doing it.

I was doing it. I was doing it. I was doing it. I was doing it. I was doing it. I was doing it. I was doing it. I was doing it. are who I am. That is why I didn't. What are you talking about? The best. So good. Yeah, he was doing it down in Brunswick.

Yeah. But fun. That'd be fun. Maybe we could do it and we do it like, yeah, every week a different host or something. It's like. Or I host. You host the whole month? No, not the whole month. Mish month.

Big wet month. Big wet month. You're over the whole the whole month? No, not the whole month miss month big wet man