Who Knew It with Matt Stewart - 133 - Bec Hill, Bronwyn Kuss and Suren Jayemanne

Episode Date: March 31, 2025

Who Knew It with Matt Stewart is a comedy game show podcast hosted by Australian comedian Matt Stewart. This episode features guests Bec Hill, Bronwyn Kuss and Suren Jayemanne!Recorded live at the Rhino Room for the Adelaide Fringe.Check out Matt's stand up special: https://youtu.be/cWStRpI-BhESupport the show via http://patreon.com/dogoonpod and you can submit questions for the show!See the podcast/Matt live: https://www.mattstewartcomedy.com/Check out Matt's podcast network: https://dogoonpod.com/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ahoy, ahoy, it's the titular Matt Stewart just letting you know that I'm about to start my Melbourne run at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival from the 8th of April at Spleen Bar. So pumped come see me bad boy That's the name of the show now on with this show Welcome to who knew with Matt Stewart the show where the guests write the wrong answers. I'm the titular Matt Stewart. My two IC tonight is the host of Good Tucker at Serenjai Mana. Hello. Thank you, Matt.

Our first guest tonight is the host of Makeaway Takeaway on ITV. It's hometown hero Beck Hill. Beck, thanks so much for doing this. Thanks for having me. I don't know why but I'm like Beck will be so good at this show, no pressure. No, honestly I love lying, that's why I do children's TV. Yeah, okay. Everything's gonna be fine guys! And our second guest this week won the Melbourne International Comedy Festival's Director's

Choice Award. Please give it up for Bronwen Kass! All right Bronwen, I was about to just kick on but I probably should say hello. Yeah, I felt that. Bec, I think you'll be really good at this show. Anyway, I promise you, let's get started. Yeah, no, great. Feel very welcome.

Oh, well you've done it before. So we know you're not super good at it. Now move on. But um, I'm going to say it's a great show. I promise you, let's get started. Yeah, no, great, feel very welcome. Oh, well you've done it before. So we know you're not super good at it. But um. That is true, I did not see it. No, no, you're fantastic.

Fantastic, you did so great. You're still in that hole, Matt. I'll get out by the end of it. I think you're a person, and it doesn't matter that you're not good at this. Do you do children's TV? No, that wasn't a lie. That was... Alright, so the way the show works is I ask a relatively obscure trivia question.

Our contestants have to write a convincing fake answer. I then read their answers, as well as the real one, and I have to guess which one is correct. And the first question comes from listener Thomas Doppelrider from Graz in Austria. And the question is what does the Italian word umarelle mean? What does the Italian word umarelle mean? And while they're writing their answers I'll explain out the scoring works. Has anyone not heard this show before? Well, yeah, this is mainly for you.

Everyone else is probably on top of it. So what was your name? Troy. Troy. All right, Troy. So they get one point if their fake answer is guess Troy, and they get another point if they correctly guess the right answer. Oh, Troy, by the way, I'm also playing as the house.

Boo. Troy, you better not have booed. By the way, I'm also playing as the house. Boo! Troy, you better not have booed. You're too fresh to be doing that sort of nonsense. So I've put into my own fake answers for each question I get, and I get a point for each of these that our guests choose. So each of us can score up to two points per round, which seems fair, but the probability actually favours me. The house.

And... And the house always wins, though, if you've listened to previous episodes don't worry about this bit Troy that nearly never happens anyway our questions come from our great patreon supporters if you want to submit a question sign up on any level patreon.com slash do go on pod linked in the show notes any patrons in Troy that's not too late Troy, you can sign up right now. I'm already out. You're a patron but you haven't listened. Yeah, seriously.

You pay to support this show. That? Oh, the other, yeah, that's okay, who cares about it. To be fair, that's the dream though. Yeah. Just a heap of Patreon supporters and then don't put anything out. It's like, yeah.

That's why he's here, he's just checking that I actually am doing something for the money. All right, the answers are in. So here's question number one. What does the Italian word umerelle mean? It's Italian for the female version of Baby Boomer. Example, umerelle and umera. I hate how much we spend on avocado toast.

That was all in Italian. I should have done an accent, which is okay for me because I'm actually one quarter Swiss Italian. Option two, it's a medieval torture instrument where the body is stretched over a barrel. Option three, it's actually pronounced you Morel. This is a common question Italians ask when wondering if someone is named Morel. So that's option three. Option four. It's old men who spend their time watching construction sites. Then you've got, you say it when Muriel says something racist. Or finally a portmanteau combining two Italian words um the Italian word for um

and arel being the Italian for that little inflection Italians include at the end of words. Too long didn't read Italian for fuck are you. Italian for fucker you. All right, there's so many options as well. Sorry, but Soran's also putting one in. There's two put in by the house and your two and then the real one. So any chance you even remember all the options? Well, I'm gonna say that it's,

I'm gonna discount immediately the portmanteau because it wasn't a portmanteau. That's the only reason we're going to just get that. It's like two full words. You've got to like, carve that a bit. Okay, Bec, if you're already ruling it out, then I can read out the part of the answer that sort of gives it away that it's not right.

In brackets it says, if you could really roll the Rs here, Matt, thanks, serenity. LAUGHTER if you could really roll the Rs here Matt, thanks, Saran. Which I of course did not do. Um, umarelle. That kind of what you were... Yeah, umarelle. All right, what do you think, Bec? I'm going to go for the medieval torture device.

Okay. Yeah. Over a barrel. Yeah, because I also feel like the others were too funny. Mmm. It could be the construction worker guy though. Ah, no, but I reckon that'd be, yeah, no, I'm going to stick with medieval torture.

Well, what do you think, Bronwyn? I just remembered why I'm bad at this game. And I do pick the answers that I just want it to be. I think that's a great strategy. It's a good strategy. I want it to be the construction worker. OK. Yeah.

Locking that in? Mm-hmm. Locking in. All right. Here's who wrote the answers. The Italian for the female version of Baby Boomer. That was Beck. Now, Beck's the first time guessing this show. I I'm really gonna need you to be, when I say

someone wrote it, just give a little bit of like, yeah, something. Like, please, this reflects badly on me, Saran and you know, Adelaide. I think they were just in shock that it wasn't the right answer. Yeah I think that was it. What? That's what that sound was. You say it when Meryl says something racist, that was Bronwyn. Thank you. It's pronounced you Meryl when people are asking if someone is named Meryl, that was the house.

The one that Saren wrote was Saren's. Beck went for the one about a medieval torture instrument over a barrel that was actually written by the question writer Thomas aka the house. I think we're starting to get somewhere here. Beck also lives in London so like pantomime stuff is big in their culture. Yeah, that's right. And that means the correct answer, Bron got it, it's managed by the time watching the constructive stuff.

I'm just going to get my glasses as well because I took ages to type that because I forgot I'm not wearing my glasses. Get behind you! Yeah. Hey Patreon guys here for a reason. Alright, Serena I think that means one question, one point for the house, one point for Brian after one round. But can I get a score update? Yep. Like the one you just gave?

Yeah. Like the one you just gave? Yeah. I forgot, I forgot that I've really got to try and give him something to do. Thanks Matt, let's check the scores. After one round, Bronwyn's on one and the house are on one. And Ben got zero. Thank you. Question two comes from Lars van Koeverdijn from Utrecht in the Netherlands. The question is, which of these is a real species of bird? So you've just got to make up a fake, obscure species of bird. Matt, I've always wondered with these questions,

they come from people, your listeners. Yes. And some of the listeners send the most, like, creative questions. And then some of them just say, what is a real species of bird? Every week you get from someone else These like honestly, this is the most popular style of question The last time I was on this podcast I had this exact question and I'm gonna send sir and the exact same answer

Here we go, let's see if I get them this time. While you're writing your answers, here's some more info on Umarel. This is from Wiki. Umarel, Italian spelling of the Bolognese million word Umarel. Well. They're men over time retirement age who spend their time watching construction sites, especially road works,

stereotypically with hands clasped behind their back and offering unwanted advice to the workers. Its literal meaning is little man. That's my dream job. So it's like a live version of a Twitter reply guy. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. The term is employed as a lighthearted mockery or self-deprecation.

In 2015, the city of Richione, approximately 130k southeast of Bologna, probably, I hope that's not right, is it? Bologna? Doesn't matter. Bologna. Yeah. Like Bolognese. Oh my god, yes. It's from Bologna. Bologna. Yeah. Like Bolognese. Oh my god, yes.

It's from Bologna. Holy shit. Yeah. So could you give Becca a point there? No. But was it a lie? Should we do a score check? So in the city of Riccioni near Bologna,

they allocated an 11,000 euro budget to pay a wage to Umarels to oversee work sites in the city, counting the number of trucks in and out to ensure materials were delivered according to the receipts and guarding against theft when the site prize to local resident Franco Bonini. Bit of fun. Alright, the answering for question number two. Which of these is a real species of bird? Johnny Thunderballs, blue-titted grass parrot, eastern reticulated trundle, inaccessible rail,

vulveria, or the untreated thrush with a note here saying don't worry too much about rolling the R's here Matt, thanks. All right Bron, do you want to have first crack here? I'll have first crack. They're pretty dirty, the bird, dirty birds, the dirty bird round. Bird scientists, I think they might be a little dirty. I think they might be, yeah. So they're all possibilities. Yeah, 100%. Again, I'm gonna go for the one I want it to be and I want there to be a bird called inaccessible rail. Okay. So it's only stairways in and out. Yeah. Okay, Bec what do you think? I honestly look I'm pretty sure it's the blue-tinted grass one but I want an accessible rail to get a point because known as the trains in London.

Alright, here's who wrote the answers. Johnny Thunderballs was the house. I thought you were going to say that was the answer. I was like, I would watch that Pixar film. Eastern reticulated trundle was Lars aka the house. Blue-titted grass parrot was Bromwen. Close. I did say give a reaction and the reactions they're choosing are really interesting. Ceren's one was by Ceren. Volveria was Beck. Was it Volveria or Volvaria? Well, they're both.

Yeah, yeah. It's where the source, Volveria, but no, I can't think of anything. And you know what that means? You were both correct. It's inaccessible rail. Oh god. And you know what that means? You were both correct. It's inaccessible rail. Not true. Your strategy is paying off big time so far. You're wishing these into existence. Yeah, this is the first time it's worked, but I'm waiting to fall off a cliff at the next couple of questions. Do you have a picture of the inaccessible rail?

Oh man, it's so fucking cute. How good's that? Oh my god. You have to show the audience. Awwww! Clearly it's very accessible. It's a mainstream bird. It's like a very angry tennis ball that got dirty.

So it's the world's smallest flightless bird. So it's a tiny little puffball. That's sick, so good. Alright here's question three. Don't worry audience I'll tell you a bit more about in a second. I'm sure you're you can't wait to hear some scientific sentences from me but here is question three in the meantime. This is from Lauren Joyner from Chandler in Arizona. What was- Could she be from any other- This is-

Go- Okay. No. No. No. No. No. No.

No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.

No. No. No. No. No. No. And this, you know when a smattering normally peters out. But normally when it goes that long people go, all right, let's get on board. But they refuse to. Do you know what? This is my theory. The ones that laughed hard are the ones from Adelaide because we just got that show. Really proud of it, yeah.

All right, so Lauren's question is, what was the American criminal Eli Weaver's nickname? This is the nickname of American criminal Eli Weaver. While you're writing your answers, here's some more info about the inaccessible rail. Lars writes it is also known as the inaccessible island rail as it only lives on the aptly named inaccessible island in the South Atlantic. It's the smallest flightless bird in the world. Our side news writes inaccessible island, the northernmost of three islands in the Tristan archipelago is located about 3,600 kilometers east of Porto Alagre in Brazil. Why, why, so far I've been telling people a lot about how far away from somewhere else. It was formed, this island formed by now extinct volcano three to six million years ago.

This is interesting stuff, not entertaining stuff but... How did they get the photo of that bird? Well, yes. Like how did they get that? Oh my god, I did not even consider that. They're going to have to change the name of the island. Yeah, that's clearly- Accessible island.

Yeah, but apparently the birds got their, they're not sure exactly how, but they reckon they either got their, by wings that worked back then. Or the other theory was that they got their riding on debris. Hasn't that sick to picture these birds just like on twigs and stuff? Self and bad.

Yeah. Oh my god. I mean, their theories I could have come up with. Someone was on another island and then they booted this bird and it just landed. So they got there and there were no predators or anything so they didn't need to fly anymore apparently and slowly evolved. Either they lost their ability to fly or to ride on debris. Alright, your answer for question number three.

What was American criminal Eli Weaver's nickname? The dream. Whittle weave dog. The Amish stud. Franco Bonini. Arse face Eli. Or deli ham in brackets it says this one works more visually than it does orally oh yeah Eli deli doesn't quite like what if I said whoever wrote that including

maybe history books what if I said del? No, then it doesn't work either. Then it would work more orally than it does visually. Yeah. No. No, I don't think it works at all anymore. Yeah, just read what's on the page. Okay, well I did do that. I was just trying desperately to help you out, but. Okay, so Becky got the dream. Widdle Weave Dog, The Amish Stud,

Franco Bernini, Arse Face or Deli Ham? I weave dog, the Amish stud, Frank Gobernini, ass face or deli ham. I'm gonna go the Amish stud. I mean, it feels a bit like a tautology, right? Aren't all Amish studs? Those beautiful beards. That's how they keep going. That's not funny. You know, everyone's got like an icon fashion dream wall or whatever, right?

Mine's just all armish. There's a term for that and it's not what I said. I use so many words. What do you call those things? No, you got it right. A vision board. Fashion dream wall. A vision board, yeah.

No, no, no. No, it is fashion dream wall. Yeah. We all have one of those, right? The whole wall. Yeah. Just Amish studs, Amish people. You don't even need to say it.

You don't need to. Yeah. Stop wasting words. Yeah, you put them all into Fashion Dreamwall. Yeah. I haven't got to... Ha! Ha ha ha ha ha.

All right, so Bex got on the Amish stud, what do you think Bron? What was Arse Face? Arse Face Eli. I don't think it is, but I would love if it was Arse Face Eli. Alright, well here's who wrote the answers. Deli Ham, this is going to shock of you. That was Sarenne. Widdle Weave Dog was Bronwyn. The cutest bloody criminal in town.

Do you wanna join my gang? The Widdle Weavers. The Dream, which got no attention at all, was the House. Well, that was pretty clever. Eli the Dream Weaver. See even Deli Ham was better than that. Bronwyn went for ass face Eli but I'm afraid that was the question right of Lauren, okay, the house, meaning Beckett's correct, it's the Amish stud. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So good. Oh man, I'm so glad this guy's real. I would like him to meet up with Franco though. Yes.

Yeah. Oh, Franco Bernini, the, I can't even remember what the word was, but he was the O'Malley of the year. Yeah. Or something like that. I didn't even remember what the word was, but he was the Umali of the year, or something like that. I didn't actually know that, because I think he's Sigourney's dad, right? Is she Amish? I don't know. Yeah, you didn't know?

No, I think Amishness is passed on from the mother's side. So question number four, well maybe while they're writing their answers you can do a score update Saran, but in the meantime this question comes from Adelaide, is Nick Ibis in? Yes I am. Yay! Applause Laughter Alright, so next question is American punk band Piebald, is that how you say it? Oh my god, this is really handy, we should always have

Laughter American punk band Piebald released an album in 1999, what was it called? The name of the 1999 album by American punk band Piebald. While you're writing your answers, here's a little more info about Eli Weaver. Would you want to score check? Oh yeah, that'd be fantastic.

Great. You want to give me something to do? After three rounds, it's very tight, the house are on two points. Bronwell is on two points. Beck is out in front on three points. Home town hero. All right, here's some more info on Eli Weaver from Lauren. Despite being part of the Amish community, which famously don't use modern technology, Eli used dating sites to cheat on his wife. His username was Amish Stud, he gave himself the nickname. Oh, it takes a dark turn, sorry about that.

One of his mistresses agreed to kill his wife. But I don't think it happened. But he was convicted of conspiracy to commit murder. Who was disappointed by that? Hey, while you're still writing your answers, let's go for a quick break. Alright, we're back. It looks like the answers are in, am I right in saying that, Saroon? Just the final one is in now.

Can I, oh sorry. Just on Amish murders. Yeah. I did watch a whole true crime series called When the Amish Murder and they all end up like that because they don't know how technology works. So they get a mobile phone and they get someone and they go have you murdered my wife yet and then the police get the phone and they go did you try and murder your wife? Because they don't know it stays on there and they can read it. It's pretty good.

That's a really interesting fact you've pointed out but I think Matt already knows it given they're all on his vision team. Oh you're right actually. I'm so sorry. One thing I will say about the Amish, they're very hot, but not necessarily that good up here. Yeah. God doesn't give out with both hands. Yeah. Or he shouldn't.

Oh, geez. Obviously, present company. What did you say the series is called again? It was called When Amish Murder, something like that. Yeah. I like that. So I just- Get around to it.

Yeah, yeah. I thought that a murder was the collective noun for a mormish, but- That's- That's- Yeah. They, I think, yeah, they, like crows, do use tools. Ha.

Ha. Ha. Although you're gonna say dress in black, but uh- Ha. Ha. Probably would have been. That's true. I don't know.

Like those two together, I think, it would have almost been something. Alright, you're answering it. Here is question number four. American punk band Piebald released an album in 1999. What was it called? Cespool on the Potomac. Potomac I reckon. That's option one. Option two. If it weren't for Venetian blinds, it would be curtains for us all. Laughter Option three. You put your hero in and you put your hero out.

Laughter And you shake it all about. Laughter Option four. Big dad's pies. Option five, bum bum poo. Or finally, I ate too much pie and now I'm bald. What do you reckon, Bron? Do you need to hear any again or? I know what I want. I want the Venetian blinds. Yeah, we all want that to be real. Yep. What do you think, Bec?

I wanted to be I ate too much pie and now I'm bald. Alright, locking that in. Here's who wrote the answers. Sespul on the Potomac. That was Nick, aka The House. Woo! Would have been my second choice, Nick. It's too good. It's too good a lie. Big Dad's Pies, that was Bronwyn.

Thank you, that's a pie shop in my hometown. So good. Pretty good pies. What's the town? Ipswich. Ipswich. Oh, they're good for fast food, famous for it. Yeah, lovely.

You ever tried the fish and chips? Anyway. Pauline Hanson, Pauline Hanson's fish and chip shop. Yeah. Anyway, I was more of a... we were more of a big dad's pies family, so... Food-wise, but political beliefs. Oh yeah. We just went into the fish and chip shop for a chat. For the meetings, yeah. Is this whole thing the title of the album? Yes.

Yeah, it actually hasn't finished yet. Bum Bum Poo, that was Beck. And they saw how long it took me to write that answer out. I was the last person to send that. You put your heroin and your heroin out, check it all out. That was the house. Beck went for eight, too much pie, you put your heroin in and your heroin out, check it all about. That was the house. Beck went for eight, too much pie, now I'm bald. That was Saren.

I'm on the board. I'm guessing, Beck, so far you haven't noticed the pattern of Saren's been last every time. But something to think about in the future. I still think it deserved a point. I stand by it. Agreed. Well answered. And that means Bron is correct. If it weren't for Venetian blinds, it would be curtains for us all. Yes! Oh my god, we're down to the second last question.

This one comes from Alan Cashin from Adelaide in South Australia. You're in tonight Alan. Alan's question is, what strange occurrence happened on the first lap of the 1950 Monaco Grand Prix? Something happened, something a bit weird, weird some bit memorable. What was it? What strange occurrence happened on the first lap of the 1950 Monaco Grand Prix? While you're writing your answers it's more info about the About the the album that was really long and I can't remember what it was called If it weren't for Venetian blinds, it would be curtains for us all.

Nick writes, cesspool on the Potomac. I like that Nick's come in here to defend his answer. He said, this is of course a reference to Lisa Simpson's speech. I don't know if that's the tone you wrote it in. Sort of a bit sassy but that's how I'll read it. That's of course a reference to Lisa Simpson's speech. The derr was sort of yeah between the lines I think. Alright answering for question number five. What strange occurrence happened on the first lap of

the 1950 Monaco Grand Prix. A wave hit the track wiping out 10 of the cars. That's option one. It's a beachside track, is it? One of the drivers let his toddler steal while sitting on his lap. That's option two. Option three, in an attempt to intimidate Ferrari,

the Mafia sabotaged their cars, leading to a catastrophic crash. That's option three. Option four, one of the drivers was disqualified for performance enhancing after consuming a mixture of coffee and wine. I'm performance enhancing tonight. Then you've got races race really really rapidly. Oh sorry I just read a note here. Races race really really rapidly. Have you put two answers in, Seren? Yeah, I just wanted to do that arse one.

Okay. This other one you've done better be pretty frickin' good then. We've still got two more though. This is the second last one. The cops set up a booze bus on the first straight. Three drivers were over point oh five. They blamed it on mouthwash. Or finally, due to a mix-up between race officials and the relevant local council, the pits were reclassed as no standing zones. And on this particular day, let me tell you, the ticket inspectors were particularly unforgiving. And then it also says am I

right? I think it says am I right? All right so who's, I can't remember whose shot we're up to I think it might be yours Bec. Okay I can't remember what all the options were. So yeah the the wave wiping out the racers, you've got the toddler seat, or the toddler steering, you've got the mafia getting involved, you've got the performance enhancing coffee and wine mix, you've got the racers race really, race is race, et cetera, that is hard, do not have that skill.

The booze bus, with.05 limit and the mouthwash, or the no standing zone? I'm gonna go for the wave. It sounded ridiculous at the start, didn't it? Yeah. And the more answers you hear, you're like, oh, actually. All right, Locked In, what do you think, Bron?

I might go coffee and wine. But what answer do you think, Bron? I might go coffee and wine. But what answer do you want to lock in? Wait. That's why you pay him the Patreon, isn't it? Worth every penny. I do want to have a go at coffee and wine now though. Yeah, that sounds like something. Is that the original Coke recipe? Like if you just put a bit of cocaine in

and then you're, that's the whole. Should we? Yeah. Oh, it's my last night at the Fringe. Hey, mine too. Yeah, I'll go that one. All right, locked in. Here's who wrote the answers.

Races race really rapidly. I feel bad, can you roll R's? No. Bron? Just like, rrr. Yeah, yeah. Can you say races race really rapidly? Races raced.

It's so, you sound like Scottish. South Africa. That sounded Scottish, but you sound like you are from Monaco. Yeah. Yeah, that was. Which is crazy, because I have no idea what they sound like. You just Monaco. Yeah. Yeah, that was crazy. Which is crazy because I have no idea what they sound like. You just became Condor Fruits.

Rices, rices, really. Rices, rices, really, rapidly. You think Condor Fruits is from Monaco? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. I don't think he's from Greece. Yeah, he's as much of Greece as he is from the US. That one was Saran anyway. Saran also did the No Standing Zones, am I right? The booze bus on the straight, the mouthwash, that was Bronwyn. Fantastic stuff there. I'll take the one applaud. But don't worry, the one applause is quite close to one of the audience mics. So the people at home will really get to feel that.

They'll get tricked. Good. The Mafia Getting Involved, that was written by Alan, aka The Question Rider, who's in tonight. Give him something. The House also wrote the one about coffee and wine, I'm afraid, Bron. I was also thinking as I wrote it, that sounds like it could work. The only reason I didn't go for that was because I was like, I'm pretty sure they would have assumed

everyone's done that. Yeah, yeah. Like why would they arrest them all? 1950 Monaco races, I imagine they're all. I think they had to have that, yeah. That's why they drive so fast, because they're about to shit themselves. Yeah.

You don't want to do that in a one scene. Yeah, coffee before wine, don't drive. That's what I mean. The toddler steering while sitting on his lap, that was Beck. That means Beck got the answer correct. A wave hit the track wiping out ten of the cars. But how much do you want to see a baby steer a formula? I'm like, you do, don't you?

Yeah, that would be, I would watch that. That sounds fantastic. I'm like, you do, don't you? Watch that. Yeah, that would be, I would watch that. Yeah. That sounds fantastic. All right, do we want a final score before going in the last question? Yeah. Um, okay. Round five, at the end of round five,

it's still as close as it ever has been. There's only one point in it. Okay, on three points, the house. Also on three points, Bronwyn Cuss. Out in front, on four points, it's Beck. And on one point, Bronwyn Cuss. Out in front on four points it's Beck. And on one point it's Saren. Yeah! Yeah!

Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! She's gonna listen to this and be like, yeah, oh. So Bec, this will be your longest answer. This is a movie synopsis. So it'd be like two or three or so sentences, probably, short paragraph. And the question is, what is the plot of the 1938 silent film, Too Much Johnson. So while they're writing those answers, can I check, Saren? You know the one point lead Bec has, is that because of that extra bit of info she gave?

Did you give her a point for that? Yeah. That's so fun. I just do what I'm told. Yeah. You are the scorer. You can overpower. I'll have no idea what you're doing over there. So feel free to do whatever you like. Um, actually, oh no, don't do that.

Just remember what I was talking to. Oh, back also, this round's worth triple points. So it's truly anyone's game. Apart from the house, I can only get single points. So it's really between you two doesn't matter all right here we go while you're on your answers here's some more info according to Alan Alan do you want to read do you want to read it out or should I read it you want to read it out yeah okay great hey Alan yes you don't know how jealous I am of you right now.

I just want to be involved. Yeah, so the Monaco track passed by a harbour, some of you might be aware, on the opening lap at the 1950 Grand Prix. A wave washed across the track, causing a chain reaction that wiped out ten cars. Then five years later, Alberto Ascari, quite a good driver, escaped the first crash, crashed into a harbour and narrowly avoided death. escaped the first crash, crashed into a harbour and narrowly avoided death. Ten years later, Australian Paul Hawkins followed Ascari and also crashed but also managed to escape death. Unfortunately both will be killed in racing accidents shortly after. Alan, you know how to party, man. I love that. What a rollercoaster. I had not pre-read that so I really didn't know what I was asking you to do. But I must

say as you did read it out I was pretty glad it wasn't me. The final question is what is the plot of the 1938 silent film Too Much Johnson? Option one. In the city where everyone is a Johnson, a group of unrelated individuals with the same last name find themselves inadvertently connected by a common passion for adventure. One day they each receive mysterious invitations to a secret meeting where they discover that they all share the same surname and a hidden talent for pulling off heists. It should have been called pulling off Johnson's. It should have been called pulling off Johnson's. That's option one. Option two. In this farce Al Jolson plays giraffe wrangler Dal Johnson whose noble giraffe Johnson was born with two rare conditions. An undersized neck for

a giraffe and an oversized Johnson for a giraffe. How much Johnson is too much Johnson? Find out in this ahead and a neck of its time black comedy. That's option two. Option three, bum bum poo. Option four, Augustus Billings posing as billionaire Cuban plantation owner Joseph Johnson is having an affair with a married woman. When his affair is discovered, Hutchinson's sure with the enraged husband chasing Augustus across New York City and eventually to Cuba where the real Joseph Johnson lives who then is pulled into the chase. Pulled into the Johnson or something? Then...workshopping.

Could there be any more Johnsons? That's what it should be called. Second last option, Mary and Joe Johnson have 14 children and struggle to make ends meet. It's too much Johnson. They said the name of the film. Joe wishes he hadn't been so good at sex and wishes he didn't have so many kids until everyone gets scarlet fever and starts coughing into hankies. His entire family dies at once. And Joe is all alone. Maybe too much Johnson had been the right amount of Johnson all along.

Or finally, Johnson is outgoing. he's bold, he's outrageous, he's always yelling rather loudly. People often say, that's just too much Johnson. But when Johnson loses his voice, he goes from being one of the town's loudest guys to having no voice. It's a dramatic turn largely lost through the medium of silent film. All right Bron, what are you thinking? You got the city where everyone's a Johnson? They end up pulling off heists? You got the one with the giraffe? So wait, the giraffe is, The neck is half the size?

Yeah, short neck, long Johnson. Okay. I love that cake song. I love a giraffe with a... And a long Johnson. Brrm. Brrm brrm brrm. Then you got Bum Bum Poo. It's a silent film you know, makes sense. Then you got the Cuban billionaire plantation owner who pretends to be Joseph Johnson or something like that. Then you've got Mary and Joe Johnson have 14 kids. He thinks

it's too much Johnson till, til they all die. Or the one about the loud guy, yeah. Okay, I think I know what we all want it to be. And it's short neck long Johnson, right? That's... I'm dying to see it. I would love everyone to draw their version of this giraffe and just see where we're all at. Oh, that's a great thing. Yeah, and tag us in on social media.

When you say you're dying to see short neck Long Johnson, does it have to be a giraffe? I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie.

I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie.

I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I think he's lying anyway, he's got a pretty long neck. Um... LAUGHTER All right, you locking that in? I'm locking it in. Yeah. Cinema was different back in the 30s for sure.

What do you think, Bec? I want short neck, long Johnson as well. You going to go first, short neck, long Johnson? Yeah, I am. Let's do it. Locked in. All right. Yeah. All right, Alright. Let's go.

Alright, well, there you go. It feels like we're towards the film, Over the Cliff, the car. Right. No, not that one. Thelma and Louise, that's what we're doing. Don't you remember at the end of Bonnie and Clyde where they held hands? And drove over the cliff? Yeah, yeah.

Yeah. I'd love it if that was, if it was called Over the Cliff? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I'd love it if that was, if it was called Over the Cliff. Over the Cliff. If all films were just the end of it. Like, when are we getting to the cliff? Yeah. All right, here's where I wrote the answers. The city where everyone's name's Johnson, that was Claire, aka the house.

Bum Bum Poo was Beck. What? Exactly. And Soren changed it back and forth over and over between that and asking me to plug your podcast. Yeah, yeah. Is it called Bum Bum Poo? Hi, we should change it now. What is your podcast again?

I do a podcast with a YouTuber called Matt Parker, who's a mathematician, it is called A Problem Squared. And we research the answers before we give them. You know. No. No. No. No.

No. So who else have we got? Mary and Joe Johnson have 14 kids, but struggle to make ends meet. Too much Johnson, but then they all die. That was Bronwyn. That was Bronwyn. Had a real Alan energy.

I wanted to know why you specified that they cough into hankies. You're such a specific. I love that trope in an old film where they go and then there's blood in the hankie. That's how everyone dies in the 30s. But to put it into the synopsis,, what did they cough into? Hankies. Alright, I'll watch that. I almost said tissue, but thought better of it. That would have been an anachronistic order.

That would have been crazy, yeah. Would have given out a wet, yeah. Johnson is outgoing, he's bold, he's outrageous, etc. That was Siren. Ooh. Geez, there's only two left. One of them's the giraffe. Come on.

About Al Johnson playing a giraffe wrangler named Dal Johnson, who has a noble giraffe named Johnson. And he has two hair conditions. This one you picked, an undersized neck for a giraffe, and this oversized Johnson for a giraffe. To be fair, I think it picked us, Matt. Ha ha ha. It's a head and a neck of its time, but it was also, I'm afraid, the house.

No. The correct answer was about the Cuban plantation owner, Joseph Johnson, pretending to be a different Joseph Johnson or something like that. I forgot about that one because it was so boring. Well, imagine it being silent. one because it was so boring. Well imagine it being silent. Imagine if that giraffe thing was a film. People always talk about twins as amazing like Danny DeVito and Schwarzenegger but this would be Al Jolson next to a giraffe. Yeah we probably would know about it wouldn't we.

Yeah, we probably would know about it, wouldn't we? I don't think we would. Alright. So it was that one film with the giraffe with the giant dick. And it's silent. You don't need any words, when? So while you're doing the final scores, I can tell the audience that Rotten Tomatoes' audience score is 58% for too much Johnson. They don't mind it. For some reason my brain was like, oh I thought it'd be more for the short neck. If it doesn't exist yet, I hope it does soon. But I'm serious, tag Bron in your

drawings. Give me, tag me as well, I'd like to have a look. They'll be up on the fashion dream wall. Well yeah, so far I've got three empty walls. As the previous host of a children's arts and crafts show, please don't tag me. A review by Richard Brodie from the Yorker reads, it was Orson Well's first full length feature film and yeah. Full length, full length Johnson, yeah. Man, I wish Orson Well was involved in short neck long Johnson. All right, can we get a...

That would be called Orson hung. Awesome well hung. Saran, final score check please. Drum roll please. You must feel powerful right now. No, I was a bit disappointing. They just used their hands.. Anyway I asked for drums. Okay at the end of round six and the whole quiz on one point Saren Jahaimana on Coming in third place on three points, it's Bron Lewis.

It's Saren. Take two, wrong Bron. Wrong Bron. Bron Cust. Connor, edit that out. Connor. Not the Bron you want, but the Bron you get. Yes.

Man, if only Connor could edit life. Okay, on three points Bron would cuss. Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

With only one point splitting them, on four points, it's Beck Hill, which means the winner is the house on five points! Oh boo! Oh boo! It's Beck Hill, which means the winner is the house on five points. Boo! There's some applauded and you got overpowered. Wait, are you booing for me or the house? Because we were both in that part.

So pretty rude actually. Where can people find you? Beck, you're doing, for people in the room, at least you're doing your last show. I'm literally in this, I'm the next show in this room. So get out quick afterwards. Yeah, that's good because we have run over. Yeah, yeah, so if you did find that funny, it's my last performance tonight. So please come back into the room once you've left it. And for people listening at home, wherever they might be, your podcast?

Yeah, that was a problem squared and you can find me on social media. I'm at Beck Hill Comedian or Beach Hill Comedian if you read it wrong. What about you, Bron? I'm not in this room, I'm in a much smaller room. Across the inner hell's kitchen at 7.30 tonight, my last show. And you can find me on social media at Bron Lewis. And... No, at Bron Monkast on whatever.

I just love the idea that Bron Lewis is gonna get all these pictures of giraffe. Draw your donkey dick giraffe and send it to Bron Lewis. I did you a favour. What about you, Saren? I should start my show in Hell's Kitchen on Tuesday at 6.20pm. So please come along to that. And you can find me if you're listening at home at Saren Comedy.

Awesome. Thanks so much for coming everyone. Cheers for tuning in to Who Knew It? with Matt Stewart. Now that you know it, I've been Matt Stewart. Goodbye! Yes. Well I feel like I fucked up because I'm like they're not gonna come out hot so I'll come out and then we'll start the show. I really wish we started it then. That was really good. I don't think you there's probably not a great chance you'll be able to do that again. What a beautiful amount of warmth. Anyway

what I was gonna say was now we're gonna start the recording, so if you could give me some energy, but if anything I think you should tone it down a little. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um.

Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um.

Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. no, okay just quickly. Lars van Coeven from the Netherlands, no, no, interesting. And then, oh Lauren Joyner from Chandler. No. Couldn't be any less in. That's kind of what it is.

I just have a question. Is it Nick? Did we go to school together? I'm just guessing. I think it's Adelaide. Cool, awesome, good. Must have been the other school. Alan, did we go to school together? We didn't, alright. From Geelong, where did you go to school though? Oh, Charles Campbell Secondary School. Doesn't exist anymore, it's been amalgamated. Oh, we got some in! How did you afford to come?

Oh. How did you afford to come? Couldn't find heaps of info about him, but they got some, the track titles are pretty fun. Stuff like, uh, You Won't Be Seeing Me Again. Rules for Mules. I like that, that's actually pretty good. Giddy Like a school girl. If Marcus Garvey dies, then Marcus Garvey lives. Think there's gotta be more context to that. Still, we let it choke us.

Fat and skinny asses. Are any of these big hits, Nick? They're not my favorite content. It's just I'm enamoured by the title of the album. Okay. They do have a few good albums. I'm only still talking while I'm waiting for the answers to come in. Here are some of their other album titles. When Life Hands You Lemons, We Are The Only Friends We Have, All Ears All Eyes All The Time. The answers are in! Okay, okay.

Thanks a lot for that. I don't want one of them here. I know it's a hot day, but but man I started perspiring during that. Does it? Serena, am I correct in saying the answers are in? Uh, no. Wait, are you still writing your own one? No, I'm just talking to Bec. Oh. Oh, you're talking to Bec. I'm like, no you're not. Bec's right here man.

I'm just saying, have you done the murder yet? That's what I've texted her. Not yet. What? Am I waiting or are we? Hang on, yeah. This is Ari. We're just flirting. You want me to read what's here?

I think so. Okay. Did you send us the wrong messages? Wait it's changed again you've changed her answer three times. Are you finished now? I think so. I don't know. I think so. Can you imagine how confusing this would be to an Amish person? Are they reading each other's minds? Tell us Matt, how confusing is it? Honestly, I am very confused. Wait, it's changing again! Now it's right. I don't understand.

Okay. Um, Jude, do you have anything else to say while they're still riding there? Any other fun facts about people dying? No. Adelaide used to have the race as well. Clips or 500? Oh yeah. That had the F1 right, but now they've got the Clipstall, which is, you know, let's be honest, it's the superior race.

Grand Prix's, I don't know, do they have much brand recognition anyway? And then the Clipstall, where are you going? Wait, who is it now? Ford and Holden don't really exist. Oh, but they just have cars going around? Yeah. It's called traffic. Yeah, yeah. It's like, what is it now? Tesla and... Hmm. Probably, I mean, these are all things I could just Google but Bron's still riding so... That's actually what I did during my spa. I was just Googling the actual film and then copy pasting. Oh no, no! Beck, no!

People have done that before and they've not been asked back. Oh, it's not fun. That's like the person who brings a phone to a pub quiz and you're like, why bother? Yeah. They're dogs. Low dogs. And I think, I'm with Alan, they deserve to die. I mean, he didn't say that exactly, but I'm pretty sure he'd have to say it.