Who Knew It with Matt Stewart - 139 - Paddy Young, Hayley Sproull and AJ

Episode Date: May 12, 2025

Who Knew It with Matt Stewart is a comedy game show podcast hosted by Australian comedian Matt Stewart. This episode features comedians Paddy Young, Hayley Sproull and AJ!Check out Matt's stand up special: https://youtu.be/cWStRpI-BhESupport the show via http://patreon.com/dogoonpod and you can submit questions for the show!See the podcast/Matt live: https://www.mattstewartcomedy.com/Check out Matt's podcast network: https://dogoonpod.com/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to Who Knew with Matt Stewart, the show where the guests write the wrong answers. I'm the titular Matt Stewart. Our first guest is winner of Taskmaster New Zealand. It's Hayley Spruill. Kia ora. Sick. That's sick. Was that your biggest moment?

Yes, probably. And I mean, I performed at the Edinburgh Military Tattoo. I'd argue that's bigger. Okay. I'm just going to say it's bigger. Holy shit. That is bigger. That is bigger. But winning Taskmaster, I wanted it. Yeah. And it's not even real. Do you know what I mean? Like it's not a real thing to win. Yeah. But when it came down to it, I was like, oh, this is so bad. I hope you bring that energy today.

I will. I'm a winner. Our second guest this week was winner of Chortle Awards 2024. Best newcomer, it's Paddy Young. Thanks so much for having me. Yeah, the Taskmaster Award of the UK. Is it? No. No, yeah. No, they've got Taskmaster there as well.

Yeah, they do. Not made it yet. It's not started. Yeah, they don't even have to say anything. A few more Chortle Awards under the belt. What did you do with the military tattoo? Crazy, I've done it three times. I'm a marching girl.

I do military drill. It's always an all-women's thing. It's kind of exclusive to New Zealand, the style we do. And I marched for this very famous team called Lucky Or for many years. And I did the tattoo. In Edinburgh? Yeah, 2008, 16 and 13. So good.

Wow. I know, I know. Really? Thank you for this. This really boosts me. That is a way bigger than Taskmaster New Zealand. Thank you. I know. Oh yeah, like the army was like the first Taskmaster. Yeah. Do this, do this, do this to this time. Yeah, it is actually. Our third guest this week is host of the Culp Popure podcast, it's AJ. Hello, yes, not the winner of anything, happy to be the loser of the Culp Popure podcast, it's AJ. Hello, yes, not the winner of anything, happy to be the loser of the episode already.

Really? Well, someone has to be, but you've won something in your life. Sure, I won, when I was 10, I entered a TV Guide competition and won preview tickets to Looney Tunes back in action. Okay. Chordell and Taskmaster. Brandon Fraser himself.

Absolutely, and Dharma from Dharma and Greek. You make short films that have never won anything? Nah man. Why'd you bring that up? It feels like you knew it. It feels like you knew that. I did and I assumed. I don't want to always talk about these short films. Did you write in to get a spot on this? Yeah. I won the spot. He's's unwell. He's sick of his make-a-wish. So the way the show works is ask a relatively obscure trivia question. Our contestants have to write a convincing fake answer, then read their answers. Well, Zerue, I'll have to guess which one is correct. The first one comes from Kayla Hodquitz from Maine in the US. You probably knew where that was finishing. And the question is from Caleb, what does the Victorian slang term nanti-narking mean? What does the Victorian slang term nanti-narking

mean? And while they're all writing their answers, I'll explain how the scoring works. So you get one point if your fake answer is guessed by the other contestant and another point if you correctly guess the answer. By the way, I'm also playing as the house. And I've put into my own fake answers for each question. And I get a point for each one of those that I guess choose. So each of us can score up to three points per round, which seems fair, but the probability actually favors me at the house.

And that's why. It's your podcast. Yeah. But I feel weird about bringing people onto a game that I have an advantage on. So final round, you three get triple points and I don't. Oh, OK. So it really sends it back in your favour. It's weird nepotism almost. Yeah, it is. Do you know what I mean?

It's very weird. You set yourself up. Yeah. Yeah, like there's no more like talk about your kids. Yeah. Yourself. That's extra nepotism. It's your inner child.

Yeah. Yeah. Wow. The answers are in for question number one. What does the Victorian slang term nanti-narking mean? Homosexual gossip. Option two, someone disclosing their unsavory or immoral behaviors to others.

Option three, having a great time usually at the pub. Option four, to fiddle with your stockings in public. Option five, dancing barefoot in the rain. Or finally, an ugly animal of any species. Wow. That's a lot of options. That's a lot of options. But that's more than there's people here.

That's true. And yeah, the trick is that I explain all that while you're writing, so there's no way you would understand that, but. I was like, he just said this, he was so in the game. So no, you're right to not know. So the three of you plus the real answer.

And then two from me, two house. OK, so yeah. Which the one of them normally I've written and one that the questioner writer has written. But you're right, that does make for a lot of options. AJ, what do you think? Homosexual gossip, disclosing unsavory or immoral behaviour to others. Having great time usually at the pub.

Fiddling with your stockings in public. Dancing barefoot in the rain or an ugly animal of any species. I gotta go stocking fiddler for sure. Yep. That's whatever the word I've now forgotten that we're coming up with the definition. Nanti-narcing. That's an anti-narcing definitely.

Yeah. That's an anti-narcing behaviour. All right, Hayley, what do you think? I feel like I'm gonna go obvious and go option two. Disclosing unsavory? Yeah. It just feels like- The narking. The narking. And it just feels like a really good

sort of dictionary description. Yeah. All right, that leaves you. I'm gonna do the same, disclosing behaviors. Okay, welcome that in for Patty. Here's the right answers. An ugly animal of any species, that was AJ. Thank you.

Everyone for those listening, everyone looked at me and nodded and I nodded back. These damn audio formats, they can't see the nuance. Yeah. And also AJ was nodding in an industrial area. Yeah. Dancing barefoot in the rain, that was the house. Homosexual gossip, that was Hayley. Nice.

Thank you. To fiddle with your stockings in public, AJ went for that, that was Patty. Patty, you got me. You got me. Damn. Hayley and Patty went for someone disclosing the immoral behaviour of others.

I'm afraid that was Kayla, aka the house, meaning. The correct answer is having a great time, usually at the pub. Nantinarking. We're nantinarking. I think our one is right. Yeah, yours feels more right, doesn't it? Google, Google again.

Nantinarking. So if you're here to the pub. I mean, it's of your country as well. Yeah, I guess. But I mean, a little bit before your time. Nantinarking. I also feel like there must be so many like bullshit nonsense words that mean that as well. Yeah, it's got Shakespeare written all over it.

He just made it. All the blame on my shoulders. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's heavy. Oh, but you don't forget, you had your answer guessed, so you get a point there. That's great. That's sort of good. Should be a weight off your shoulders, hopefully.

I did that for you. And that turns out directly into ticket sales? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So after one round, we've got Hayley and AJ both letting down their country of New Zealand. Hell yeah. To score. Paddy's all one, but out in front it's the house. Here is question number two.

This comes from two different people sent this in individually. Diana Chomack from Vancouver Island in Canada and Kat Ford from Upper Hutt in New Zealand. Hey, duh. And the question is, which one of these are real type of butterfly? So you just got to come up with a fake name for a butterfly. Don't have to describe or anything. I hate butterflies. I could tell that based on your face. I have a real like physical reaction to them.

What do you like about them? The fluttery, the unpredictable flutter and their fat bodies and their dusty wings. Like I can't, this is so deep. I have a phobia of the dirty version. I can't say the word in pleasant say M-O-T-H. I have like a phobia of those. And so butterflies are very adjacent. They're just like, it was so unpredictable. Huh. Furry tunnel bodies. So I feel like we might, we might be able to guess yours based on the one that is just hateful. Yeah.

The answer for question number two, which of these are real type of butterfly? Here are your options. Magnificent fisherman, gold fibula, blood fly, big greasy, northern piss taker or flapperoolapperoo Flapperee. Wow. This is crazy. What are those? Is this real? Yeah, this is one of these, none of these are real ones.

They also disintegrated in believability. I was like, oh yeah. I think if we had two more we'd get arrested for some of the things we've said. It went from not funny enough to be a who knew it answer to this can't be a real butterfly. Yes, yes, yes, yes. I'll see if I can get one of the middle ones. Let's sure go first Hailey, what are you thinking? Can you give me the first two again?

Magnificent Fisherman and Gold Fibula. I think Gold Fibula just feels like those disgusting things would be gold to try to trick us into thinking they're pretty. Yes, alright. But beloved animal butterflies, those disgusting things. I don't think I've ever heard of this phobia before. Because it's not real. Let's be honest.

You know what I mean? It's like so stupid. No, I think it's a- Get a real phobia. Butterflies aren't real. I've got a weird one. I hate stickers on clothing. Appealing off.

Yeah, I really hate that. They're an endangered species. Can I have the things again, please? Magnificent Fisherman, Gold Fibula, Bloodafly, Big Greasy, Northern Piss Taker, or Flapperoo Flapperee. I'm gonna call- I'm gonna go for Piss Taker. Piss Taker.

The final four are insane. They're so stupid! It has to be one of the first two, right? Yeah. Alright. I'm gonna go... I'm gonna go Magnificent Fisherman. Yeah. Alright. I'm gonna go I'm gonna go magnificent fisherman. Yeah. Wow. I think it had like obviously it's not literally fishing but maybe it does

something that resembles fishing or. Yeah yeah yeah. Those little fly things they have maybe was named. The scientists obviously didn't have a like that's the scientists who loved butterflies if that's what they've named it magnificent. Yeah bit much really. All right Here's who wrote the answers Blooder fly that was AJ. Mmm. It was good. Thank you Yeah, yeah, just just coming in hot and heavy everyone Flaparoo was Haley. That's nice. I wish that was real. Yeah, I think that existed it would change your opinion I think it would soften it for me. Yeah, I think it's a really and I think if the blooder that was real. Yeah wouldn't it be nice? I think if that existed it would change your opinion on them. I think it would soften it for me too.

Yeah. Feathering, Feathery. And I think if the butterfly was real I would join you in this phobia of butterflies. Yeah it's like a mosquito or something. Yeah yuck. Hybrid with a butterfly. But if scientists are listening and they're looking for a new name for a butterfly. Do you have butterfly worlds here where you can go inside?

Yeah the zoo's got one like that. It'd be great to go with like a hand, you know those like handheld vacuum cleaners? Oh, I just suck them up. You could get rid of them all. I just fell in love with you at this time. I was like, my hero. Hi.

How many you could get? Yeah. And then it looks so beautiful, like the different colours in the. Yeah, you get a see-through like vacuum cleaner bin so you can see them all. And you expect them to be flattering, but they've all just been killed by the suction. Oh no, they've merely done.

You know what's the sparkly like glittery stuff that teenagers always have? You know what I mean? Yeah. When my sisters were teenagers they always had like different forms of glitter. Yeah, like body glitter. You could tell it was glitter. Yeah. Maybe they already do.

Made from real butterfly. Would that be nice? I think that'd be a real selling point. Yeah. Wouldn't that be nice? Sorry, I was just nanty-knocking. You're bloody nanty-knocking, we're not at the pub. AJ's Girl From Magnificent Fisherman,

that was written by Diana, aka The House. Oh my god. When my answer was read out first, I was like, that's it. Sorry, I have no idea what it's gonna be now. Sends in the thing, also sends in a fake thing. They send in me some options and I'll only pick. And in this case, there's two different ones made the question. I took one of each of their fake ones because Northern Piss Taker, I'm afraid, was Kat, the other question writer.

Hey, the one for Goldfib, that was Patty. Meaning the correct answer no one went for. Big Greasy. No way. That's crazy. Because that seems too much like a meme. Yeah, I was surprised it was real. I don't believe it. I'm upset by that one too. You're over two from believing the answers. This could actually all be bullshit, you're quite right though. You can say whatever you want,

we can't see your laptop you've got in front of you. So, the house gets another two points, and Patty, that's the repeat of round one. Patty with a point, the house with two points. Yeah, because the house gets two goes at it. It's ridiculous. Well, but the house doesn't get to gassy, correct answer, what are you saying?

Big greasy, okay, otherwise known as Cressida Cressida. Thank you. Cressida Cressida. Does it look big and greasy? It looks neither here. No, I think it's... I think scientists are getting too young and immature. Yeah, I think they are.

They're naming new animals stuff like big greasy and like Sonic the Hedgehog mushroom and shit. Yeah, they're like lol. Stop being stupid. If this is what we call him butterflies, what we call him wrappers. Question three comes from Lars van Coveden from Utrecht in the Netherlands and the question is. It's in the eyes of making up countries. I don't believe any of these people.

It's Dr. COVID. Dr. Goat from the wet market has just called in. Fucking bullshit. Lars's question is the Greek Philogelos is the oldest jokebook known to man. What is joke number 76?

I have to write a joke. We've established I'm not a comedian, I'm gonna be out of my depth here. Well no, I mean these are jokes written two and a half century- no two and a half thousand- two- two hundred- two thousand five hundred years ago. What are those? Millenniums. Yeah. Two and a half millennia ago. Okay. So it's it's not a particularly funny joke and it's translated from ancient Greek in English. So it's just yeah, just write a sentence and while you're writing your answers, here's some more info about big greasies. Cat writes, I came across this with my three-year-old while watching a video that was just listing 120 different butterflies and moths. MOTS. Sorry. Holy shit. You don't want to bleep that when it comes out.

I might bleep that. It's too late. It's for me and no one else. I'm live and raw. Just in case Hayley listens back, Connor, can you bleep that? Thank you. According to Diana, the big greasy is a Troodine swallowtail butterfly found in northern Australia, New Guinea, Maluku and Timor. Remarkably, this species is not particularly closely related to other Asian swallowtails

but instead seems to be the closest living relative of the peculiar South American swallowtails of the genus Eurydice. Adult males and females are quite dissimilar in appearance. However, both sexes have a black body marked with red scales and tough transparent wings with limited scale covering both sexes. They have usually great range of size variation. I hate them. I've never even seen them I could a little glimpse on Patty's phone That's all right that was that was pretty full-on gamesmanship I thought

Let's lighten the mood, you know This is shaken me. Well, I will I'm the move with some Greek Greek humor. Yeah, this is add in the mood with some Greek, ancient Greek jokes. Some Greek humor. Yeah. This is great, because I'm performing at the Greek, so if these jokes pop off. Yeah, yeah. Oh, that's amazing.

Do you know what I mean? That was an amazing how you did transition that. Thank you. It's a show plug. This is crazy. Isn't it amazing? I'm a pro. Yeah.

But if these jokes pop off, they'll feel right at home at the Greek theater. When you come and see my show, Wild Fathers. Oh my God. I didn't even connect that. I'll be doing the Emperor, Edinburgh temporary tattoo. It stands, yeah I like it. Alright the answer for question number three, the Greek philogelos, something like that, is the oldest joke book known to man. What is joke number 76 translated

in English of course. Alright here are your options. What's the go with the Parthenon? I don't understand the hype. It's a Parthenope for me. Oh yeah, that's straight from 2000 years ago. What's the go with? That's my favorite part. What's the go with? Say Fildicus. Yeah, ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ga-o-o-o-o-o.

That's lovely. Option two, the emperor is a donkey. That's why he braes. Option three, I woke up this morning to find a donkey had not defecated on my floor. What do we think of ancient Greece? Very donkey related. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

There were only donkeys. Option number four, after his son's funeral, an intellectual encountered the boy's teacher. Please excuse my son's absence from school, he said. You see, he died. That's good stuff. Come on. That's option four.

Option five. How should a man know his timing is off when the son asks where he's been? I love that. That's so good. This is all good. Yeah. I'm just going to write all these down, actually. Or finally, she said, you smell nice.

What have you got on? I said, I've got a heart on, but I didn't know you could smell it. Oh, oh, oh, oh. Are you going to take that one for your show? Yeah, that fits right in with my show. All right, Patty, you'll go first here. What do you think? I'm going to go with Donkey Bra show. All right, Patty, you'll go first here. What do you think? I'm going to go with Donkey Braze.

Donkey Braze. Yeah. All right. Locking that in for Patty. What do you think, AJ? I think it's got to be the sun one. I love that. That's amazing.

That's profound. That's like well-written. That's beautiful. Yeah, if one of you wrote that, then I'm off the cat. Yeah. All right. Donkey Braze was my choice as well, I think. It just feels...

I don't think I've ever really said the word braise. No, I don't know if I've heard the word braise. Yeah, but that's what they do. We say like, hee haw. Yeah. That's a braise. That's a braise. I'm going to share the answer. I didn't get it, but now I think that's very funny.

It is. It's clever. It's good. The emperor braying? That's good stuff. Yeah, he's right the answers the one about not being able to smell the heart on that was Patty That is good stuff the oldies are the goodies Nope, that was the house Donkey had not defecated on the floor. That was Lars, the question writer, okay the house. It's so funny that two different donkeys were involved. AJ went for the timing is off. That's when the sun asks where he's been. That was Hayley. That's amazing. Hayley. Thank you. Did you come up with that? I'm going to your show now.

If that's the level of writing I can expect. Holy shit. That's a 20 second. Did you come up with that? That's amazing. I just was trying to think of something kind of profound because you know when you hear really old jokes That's the level of writing I could expect. Holy shit. That's a 22nd. That's amazing. I just was trying to think of something kind of profound because you know when you hear really old jokes you're like, what does it mean? That's so good. Thank you guys. I love that so much.

You should get that on your back. Oh my god, back piece. Paddy and Hayley went for the Emperor as a donkey, that's why he braids. That was AJ. AJ! If you look at my Google history it says, what noise does a donkey make? Okay. That's guys, I'm in awe.

Same. That means the correct answer, you're in awe. I didn't want to say it, but my brain, anyway. You chuck them in. No, yeah, we'll edit that out. There's six cameras in 4K, we've got to get a few gags. More cameras and jokes in this room. Go on, sorry.

That means again, no one got the correct answer, which was after his son's funeral an intellectual encountered the boy's teacher. Please excuse my son's absence from school, he said. You see, he died. He died. Because I guess like in ancient Greek, there's a way where like specifically the wording of that could make a set up and a punchline, but translated to English, that gets lost. That's still pretty fun. I also just think about teachers getting interested, it sounded all like the Beano, do you know what I mean?

Yeah, it's- It sounded like to you like comic book. Yes, yeah, totally. There's no way people lived like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, and didn't people just die like willy-nilly? Yeah. So it felt like it would just be quite normal.

I'm sticking with Donkey Braze. Okay, locked in. So you just wanna check if that's the right one one more time? I don't know, it feels nice. Yeah. So the scores now after three rounds, we've got Hayley on one, AJ and Paddy on two, with the house out in front on four. Here's question number four. This comes from Ian from Weaverville. What is the former Major League baseball player Travis Shaw's nickname? It's a baseball American baseball. Travis Shaw.

What's his nickname? While you're writing your answers, here's a little more info about the philogelist. Condolaz. Philogelist means love of laughter. It is also known as the jest of Heracles and philagorias. Some other notable jokes. This guy with his made up podcast, and his made up words, his made up country. I mean that really.

Hey, that's taken over. That came at the worst possible time, because there's been a lot of gibberish since then. Here's a couple of the other jokes from it. A student bought pants that were too tight for him, so he shaved his legs. Bit of fun. God, I love it.

Can you imagine that in ancient Greece, they're like teenagers in their tight trousers. They're bloody skinny jeans. A skinny robes. The doctor was examining a grouchy patient and commented, you're sweating badly. Yeah? If you can sweat any better, lie down on the couch and show me, he said. And that toga's too short young lady. Yeah, yuck.

Pissed. Hey, while you're still writing your answers, let's go for a quick break. All right, we're back. And the answer for question number four, what is former Major League Baseball player Travis Shaw's nickname? Brickhead, the Guzzler, Old Beaches. Marbled Beef.

Shanky. Or Mayor of Ding Dong City. I hope it's there. Shanky. Shanky. Shanky. Yeah, Shanky's cute. What do you think, AJ?

Can you rattle them off for me one more time, please? Brickhead. The Guzzler. All Beaches. Marbled Beef.anky or Mayor of Ding Dong City. Oh god. And what was his name? His name was Travis Shaw. Oh.

I love the Guzzler so much. I think that's so funny. I'm gonna go the Guzzler. I hope that people are yelling out, Guzzler! What's the Guzzler? What's the beef one before Shanky? Marbled Beef. Yeah, I want him to be Marbled Beef. I'm fingers crossed that's a... Okay. What's the beef one before Shanki? Marbled beef. I want him to be marbled beef.

Fingers crossed that's it. OK. What's the one about the beach? Old beaches. I'll do that. All right. Old beaches locked in. Here's who wrote the answers. Brickhead, that was the house.

Shanki was AJ. I was thinking Shaw. Shawshank. I initially had a more obvious one and then I was like, what if this guy was like predates the Shawshank. I initially had a more obvious one and then I was like, what if this this guy was like predates the Shawshank Redemption? Then I'm going to look like an idiot. Yeah, you will. I didn't know I didn't date him. So.

Well, I forgot. I think that's why Old Beaches feels like he was in old timey baseball. Old Beaches are like, Patty went for that. That was Haley. Oh, that's awesome. Yeah, thank you. Old Beaches is good. Impressive again for me. I think there should be a character in media called Old Beaches. I like Patty went for that was Haley. Oh, that's awesome. Yeah, good impressive again

I think I think there should be a character in media called old beach That's a solid nickname Haley went for marbled beef. I'm afraid that was Ian the question runner I am a house Ian pretty good though my hubble Ajay went for the guzzler. That was Patty. You got me you guzzled me now you shared your thought process. I'll show mine Yeah, go slow You got me. You guzzled me. Now you shared your thought process. I'll share mine. Yeah. Guzzler. Precisely. And that's, and you're right. And then what? Did you write it down?

I just wrote it down. Wow. Correct. But you know, no one's right, no one's wrong. That's the amazing thing about comedy. Yeah. Oh. We're seeing how the sausage is made here.

Mm-hmm. And that means the correct answer is Mayor of Ding Dong City. Far out. Stupid. It's such a made to be the last one on the list as well. Yeah. So I was like, I can't be that one. It's the button on the joke.

Yeah. But sometimes the button's the answer. Is there a reason for it? Are you going to tell us why we're trying to write the next one? Yeah, that is not a great sentence. He's figured it out though. Yeah. The podcast.

This is like Memento. It's a good podcast but in the wrong order. Wow. It's mainly made for the in the wrong order. Wow. It's mainly made for the listeners I suppose. Yeah. Only Chats to us in the ad break. Crazy.

Yeah, we had a great chat before. None of us you'll hear. All right, question number five. We normally do six questions. We might be able to squeeze them in. Let's see how we go. Question five comes from Ivana from Dublin. And the question is, what was unique about Ireland's entry in the 2008 Eurovision Song Competition? What was unique about Ireland's entry in

the 2008 Eurovision Song Competition? While you're writing your answers here's some more info about the mayor of Ding Dong City. Take it seriously please AJ, there's nothing funny about this. According to On Milwaukee, the Ding Dong moniker was originated and applied to Shaw by basketball sports Red Sox writer, Jared Karibis, early in his first season. It was later used by various Boston social media outlets and the player himself even wore a shirt

that proclaimed his title. Shaw dinged 13 home runs in just 65 games after making his major league debut in 2015 and has 29 dongers over his first few seasons. I see. Okay, yeah, because that's ubiquitously what those terms are called. You know what's the sport?

What's a donger? Apparently it's like hitting a home run to some people. Right, okay. Sounds like something someone made up so the nickname would work. E-Donger. Sounds like he named himself. You know what they're calling me now?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're calling me the mayor of Ding Dong Town. Yeah. Because of my massive business. Because of all the dongers I hit. You know what dong is? You know what dong is? There's ones like,

like his stats on everything else are terrible, but he hits dongers, which is a thing he invented. And he's like, sweating bullets, because he's like, caught in a lie that he's had to make this nickname up for. Yeah, the guy, they just won't stop, makes me want to stop calling me out. Alright I'm the deputy mayor.

Alright. Answers are in for question number five. What was unique about Ireland's entry in the 2008 Eurovision song competition? The song was sung entirely in reverse sounding like gibberish rather than English. Option two, no consonants. like gibberish rather than English. Option two, no consonants. Option three, it was a DJing turkey puppet named Dustin. Option four, the singer Dre Simpson got stage fright and was eliminated from the competition without singing a single lyric. Option five, it was the first animated entry in the competition, a cartoon pig that sang while performing Riverdance, or finally it was upside down.

These are all possible. Like Eurovision is one of the most batshit competitions you've ever seen. Like anything's possible. 100%. Yeah. So you'll go first, Haley, what do you think? Go again, just... Yeah, yeah.

Sung in reverse, no consonants, DJing Turkey Puppet, got stage fright, didn't sing a lyric, animated a pig doing Riverdance or it was Upside Down. Riverdance, doing Riverdance, they wouldn't have, that's not an original song is it? Riverdance already exists. What was that option two? No consonants. Yeah, no consonants. Hiiii

I put an H in there I reckon that's a sick. All right locked in. What do you think Patty? Pop it pop it. I think you're right to lock it in pop it. I'll go sung in reverse sung in reverse Really good. That was catchy. Could you tell I'm half Irish? Wow. That's so good. It's so beautiful.

Don't worry, there's more where that came from. Wow, we've got a real row of Atkins in our hands here. Let's turn into like a radio play, you know? Alright, here's our answers. If we did a ramble chat, we'd have got all of this earlier on. Great, great. Hands here. Let's turn into like a radio play, you know. All right. Here's the answers. We did a ramble chat.

We did all of this earlier on. Great, great. Now we're getting on mine. Fantastic. Here's the answers. It was Upside Down. That was AJ. The cartoon pig doing Riverdance.

That was Ivana, aka The House. The guy getting stage fright. Dre Simpson. Pretty good fake name. I reckon that was The House. Song, sung in reverse, AJ went for that, that was Hayley. Nice. Can you do that one more time?

Yeah, I've got my little moustache. That's what convinced me. Hayley, you went for No Consonants, that was Paddy. Oh! And you gave an amazing rendition, we did each others. Oh we did, point to point. That was Patty. Oh, and you gave an amazing rendition. We did each other's And Patty you went for DJing turkey puppet and Dustin that was correct Wow, I'm so glad to get one. Yes. Yeah, you guys got one. I don't think oh, yeah Cuz I picked your answer

Correct. Yeah, yeah, that's the first correct answer. In the whole game I think it might be. You've got to put less options in this I would say that normal this is only three more minutes and you got to get on with your career We've all got to get on with our careers, Paddy come on An opportunity for some of us as a road bump You already made a chart. I thought this was an opportunity for some of us as a road bump. Patty. In defense of the show, Patty, I will say that normally more answers are gotten correct.

And it says that as well, crazy. How did that make him feel better? Oh yeah. That didn't make him feel... Oh, the team earlier got too many corrects, so we ran late today. What? All right, final question today comes from Caroline from Brisbane. The question is, in the soap, and this is where triple points by the way, in the soap

opera Days of Our Lives, we normally finish with a movie synopsis, but today we're finishing with a soap opera synopsis. Great. In the soap opera Days of Our Lives, what happened at Jennifer and Emilio's wedding? American daytime soapy, weird stuff happens. What happened in the episode or the arc of Jennifer and Emilio's wedding? And going into the final round, the scores are AJ on 2, Hayley on 3, but equal in first place. On 5 points it's Paddy in the house. Sure, it's going to take a big win to knock you down.

But then the triple points at the end is, that's again, it's like. You're picking it apart too much. Just get on the ride, hold on for dear life. You're right, you're right. You think Haley's finding this a roadblock? This is a fucking brick wall for you. I've never mustered a single tusk. While they're writing their answers,

here's a bit more info about Dustin the Turkey. This is from Ivana, the question writer. Ivana. Dustin is an anthropomorphic Turkey who has hosted children's TV in Ireland since the 90s. He's released six studio albums and has contested two presidential elections. In 2008 Ireland selected him to represent them at the Eurovision competition in what I think was an attempt to lean into the campness of the competition. Unfortunately, the rest of Europe was absolutely baffled by him and we failed to qualify for the final. I've watched the clip of it. It is very strange. Right. And you-

And small, you know, Eurovision's like big. Yeah, yeah. It's like a tiny, it's this little thing stuck at a desk. Yeah with dancers dancing or it's it's it was never gonna be the the singer gave up and got stage fright though because I'm aware of the resilience of the Irish Resilient other type to make a tiny puppet and think that'll count as a as a musical performance before they'll get stage fright. Yeah. Yeah beautiful people All right the answer in for the final question in the soap opera

Days of Our Lives, what happened at Jennifer and Emilio's wedding? A visitor from another world showed up unannounced to object to the wedding, revealing they had sorted intergalactic affairs with both bride and groom individually. Wow. Bisexual storyline. Option two, they married in an aquarium where a tank broke during the ceremony, resulting in a shark attack on Jack. Their honeymoon took place in hospital while Jack recovered from his injuries, which included damage to his penis. I should have pre-read these. Option three, the father of the bride choked to death on the cake.

Oh. Option 4, when Jennifer was set to marry Emilio, Jack kidnapped her on her wedding day so that he could confess his true feelings to her. But unfortunately she was asleep during his speech. They ended up on a ledge together after Jennifer ran off when she realised he was faking a news report of dangerous bears in the area. Of course. 5. Oh, option 5. Their wedding was held with a medieval theme and they honeymooned in a Scottish castle where they were held prisoner by an eccentric owner until Jen's boyfriend, ex-boyfriend

Frankie Brady was able to rescue them. Or finally, Emilio's brother, who was presumed dead, interrupted the ceremony to reveal he was in love with Jennifer and she ran off with him. Alright, Paddy, what do you think? Brother. Brother, the final one? Yeah. Locked in. Bang. That's a man who knows that.

I couldn't remember the other ones. Okay. And I thought one of them, I thought you'd done three and you said enough for your next three. I was like, what? Yeah. They were long. All those bits were one inside. I'm sure there was one that was in an aquarium and space and a hospital and I thought, this guy. Yes I was like, what? Yeah. They were long. I'm sure it was one in an aquarium and space and hospitals.

And I thought, yeah. This guy, this. Yes, that is, that was one. That was all one. That was all one. Oh, that was all one. Yeah. The shark attack meant that they had the wedding

in the hospital. Oh, no, the honeymoon in the hospital. I'll go for that one then. Yeah. You just so nonchalantly playing with the triple round. Yeah. He doesn't get how important it is. As someone who's played this game before, this is disrespect.

So I think the thing about these kinds of soap operas is that they're desperate writing, but it's not necessarily good. I love the aquarium thing. I actually think that's too good for it. Yeah. I already think I'm wrong because I'm just thinking budget wise. Yeah.

I think that you could pull that off in like a good movie. Yeah. Do you wanna go back to your first guess? Yeah, I'll go back to the first one. What the flip flops? Whichever one's right. Yeah, you just put in the right one.

I do think the bears one, that feels both desperate and bad. So I'm gonna go for that one. All right, locking that in for AJ. I was gonna do that, so just for a point of difference, I'm gonna go the otherworldly, the extraterrestrial, I wouldn't put it past them. I'm always here for a bi storyline, you know? And who knows what the alien's sexuality even is, it might transcend the binary.

Totally, that's so rude of me to assume that it's bi. Yeah, you're about to get sued again. Oh no. I think it'd be pan, not bi by the way. They would be pan. Pansexual. Loves everyone. We need to stop alien erasure in...

Oh fuck, I can't finish that sentence. It had good bones. There'll be another fuck, I can't finish that sentence. That's really. It had good bonds. Yeah, there'll be another Ellingus if I finish that sentence. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I thought that was really brave and I thought it was really important that you said that. Thanks so much.

Or as my people would say. Waa-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka. More sound effects, I'm loving it. Okay, here's the answers. The medieval theme at the Scottish castle, that was written by Caroline, the question writer. Thank you you Caroline. Okay, the house.

Father of the bride choked to death on a cake. That was Paddy. I tried my best. It's good stuff. Good. I loved it. They married in aquarium. The shark attack led to the honeymoon in hospital where he had a penis injury.

That was also Caroline that was also Caroline, OK, the house. She went on to say that he proved that he'd recovered his penis in the bed. I should hope so. In the hospital bed, which I thought was a great detail by Caroline, but it was already longish. Hayley went for the alien one. That was AJ. Sorry, Hayley. I just saw it as possible and I'm so into it.

I'm glad it got my vote. Paddy went for the brother was presumed dead, came back, got married. That was Hayley. Oh, well done. You really played with me because then you ditched me, but you came back to me. I came crawling back. Yeah. And that means that the correct answer was the one where they ended up on a ledge because

the Dangerous Bears reports. I was right. AJ was right. Oh yeah, that's a clear win. And you went, if you went with the one where they ended up on a ledge because of Dangerous Bears reports. I was right! HA was right. Oh yeah, that's a clear win. If you went with the one you thought. I know. Oh my god. I just wanted to be different my whole life.

I'm a goth. I just wanna be different. You're the same, you're the fucking same, Hayley. You're just like everyone else. Hey, have I finally won something here? Well, let's find out. Here are the final scores. In fourth, or equal third place on five points a piece.

It's Patty in the house. We went from first to last. Well, yeah, because you made the last, oh, that's not good. He's upset. You will be here in for my eight. He just flipped a table, but they've cut out the sound of it.

In second place on eight points, it's AJ. But out in front of nine points, it's Hayley. Get out. No, that's wrong. No, no, no, hang on, retake. I'm not happy for you. What, you can't do that to me. You can't do that to me, he just got six points.

I accidentally gave you six as well, I'm so sorry. All right. You flip-flopped your answer, I'm gonna go back to my original answer. You were the moral victor, you should have won. That's what the score would have been if you had put that lock in. No one wants to be the moral victor. Yep, yep.

That's what it would have been, and the English cricket team, but that's what it would have been if you did lock in that, but unfortunately you didn't, so I'm so sorry. In second place on six points is Hayley, but out in front on eight points is AJ. AJ. Thank you so much, and Hayley, I'm sorry, but it is a little bit sweeter this victory.

Yeah. Because I thought you won briefly so. Yeah. I feel pretty good right now and I'm very sorry about that. You're the protagonist. Yeah. Yeah well this has proven it if anything. Underdog wasn't a winner.

Here I am. Winning? Who knew it? I've done it. You've done it. Don't even have a show to promote. Yes. Yeah.

Can I ask who would have won if you just scored it normally? Ah yeah sure. Of course. No. Just one point of interest. Vaguely important, actually. Actually, I'd quite like to know this as well. This is good.

It would have been you and me would have maintained the win. Yeah. Damn. Does that hurt? Does that sting, Penny? It would have been... It makes sense, you know, given the context. AJ and Hayley would have finished on four and we would have finished on five,

so it would have been very close. That's pretty cool cool. That's not how the game works. Unfortunately. You can't just make up scoring systems on your own Where can people find you AJ on Instagram at AJ and HD or Cult pop sure is the name of my podcast Instagram at AJNHD or Cult Pop Show is the name of my podcast. What about you, Hayley? I just go on my Instagram at Hayley Sproul. That's all my, all my tour and show and everything. Awesome. Yeah.

And you're getting all around. Doing Melbourne, doing Brisbane, doing Sydney, then back home to New Zealand to do all across the country of the new show. So I'm everywhere. You going to lower hut or wherever? Upper hut. She was from upper hut and never the two show be confused. Okay.

Upper hut and lower hut heart they are different. Okay. I apologize for that. Thank you. Oh God. Thank you. Let's get ahead of this. Also, no, I'm not going to the fucking heart.

It's rough as. Nah, but no, I'm not. Yeah. I want to bet you, Patty, working for you. Yeah, I'll be playing the middle hot all month. Oh, Instagram. I putty is young and I'm doing Melbourne for a month and then Sydney for a month.

So good. Thanks so much for joining us. Thanks for having me. Cheers. Oh, I just love that you're like, thanks for having me. Look, you hated it the whole time. I do really time. I really spent an hour.

Cheers to Chitty in a Hoodoo with Matt Stewart. Now that you know it, I've been Matt Stewart. Goodbye. Do your listeners know that you do this on like an industrial estate? No, probably. Oh, some might. Yeah. It's like it was like a construction site. I thought I was going to get whacked. I felt like Joe Pesci in Goodfellas.

I don't know. There's no way they're going to do a record right now. Yeah. You're all pretending like this is all night. All the colors in here are lovely. But if you were to walk three meters away from me, it's like Soviet Russia. They're just redoing the road.

That's normally just a road. But terrifying place. Terrifying. I couldn't be further away from where I'm from, and I'm here. On the street. Straight in. No pre-chat before, by the way, when I came in. Just straight into this, straight into the questions. Do you know, on the street. Straight in, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, you can't do that and because I'm 35 now and I have to speak like that and it was a soft toy. Wow. I can understand how you would have. But he was carrying it with such weight like this he was sort of shaking and he put it in the bin and I was like no way. Wow. That wasn't Taskmaster? No it wasn't. Could be a long task. Yeah apologies we had to get straight into it Patti it's just a time restraint thing normally what I would do

is talk for way too long before we start recording to the point where people are looking at their watches. Yeah, I guess they told me it was a friendly city, Melbourne. Well, you live and learn, hey? These people aren't from Melbourne. You know that? You are? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

This is your domain. Okay. You can't invite someone for dinner and blame them for the food being cold. Actually, that's right. I will say though, being from New Zealand, this is what abuse of your domain. Okay, you can't invite for a for dinner and blame them for the food being cold Mmm, actually, that's right. I will say that being from New Zealand. This is what friendly looks like to me. Oh, really? Yeah, I'm not saying you'll be an unfriendly. Let's please not get wrong Rodolf I just feel like I've come straight. Yeah. Yeah Told you guys that my neck hurt before and I just felt like it wasn't made a big deal That's okay. We'll move on. What's the thing? Do you need any assistance in any way with your neck?

The chair swivels, we made sure of that. Did you make sure? We made sure of that. We shipped a new chair in just for you. Well I checked it out, I tested it out and it does. It does swivel. That's why we were moving chairs around when you came in, We made sure you had the swivel-iest of the chairs. Do you know how I feel about it now? Thanks so much for having me. No, no, that's all right. We just didn't want to make a big, we know English people don't like

you making a big deal of things. Yeah, yeah. So we didn't want to make a fuss. We were trying to make you comfortable and obviously this is backfired and we apologize. Yeah. I really appreciate it. Okay.

Okay. For those who don't know, my entire chat history with Matt Stewart is just a bunch of unreplied two messages that are just a string of strange, unrelated statements. You do look like a sort of babbling crazy man. If he went messy and you'd be... Yeah, yeah, yeah. I used to reply, early days during the show I'd reply to people occasionally just like,

are you alright mate? Who is this? The wrong number, sorry. What are you talking about? Yeah, yeah. I've sent these to a local hospital. They think you need a check-in. Out of deep concern. Ugh, yuck. Ew. You know what?

The Melbourne Zoo's got a whole enclosure. Oh, dude, I know. Because I've had the MOTH phobia for basically my whole life. And then I went to the hospital and I was like, oh, I'm going to be fine. I'm going to be fine. I'm going to be fine. I'm going to be fine. I'm going to be fine.

I'm going to be fine. I'm going to be fine. I'm going to be fine. I'm going to be fine. I'm going to be fine. I'm going to be fine. I'm going to be fine. I'm enclosure. Dude I know because I've had the M.O.T.H. phobia for basically my whole life and then I went to Melbourne Zoo about 10 years ago and I was like but it's a butterfly enclosure like that'll be fine and I had a full meltdown in the middle.

They were landing on me. Yeah there's a lot of them in there. Now Hayley I'm not going to say the word you don't. Please don't just say M-I-T-H. I promise I won't say it, but I would not be surprised if some of the answers used the cursed word. No, no. It's okay, just make physical reaction. Okay. We'll overtake.

You're safe. Okay, thank God. All right. I'm sweating at the thought. Oh. Well, you know, that's just, that's an editing thing. That's amazing. We wouldn't even know. Also, everything's just that's an editing thing. That's amazing. We wouldn't even know. Also, this everything we're seeing now is going to be coming around to me, Patty.

Hated you at the top. I just said, not allowed to warm up. I really thought honestly, I would normally do it that way, but he's got to go. Yeah, yeah, no, I get that. I'm just shifting the blame. If I had your credits, I wouldn't have said anything. Hayley's not forget my great joke that I just came up with okay. Remember how we all liked me a while ago? Yeah I found recently that I will throw people under the bus because that last

week our booking went over into the next booking and they they were there and I was taking a photo with the guests from before like standing with them and they were a Bit up there like Jesus you've been a bit long. I said, yeah, these guys were late Didn't even realize I've done it yeah sort of you know, and then as I'm driving home, I'm like, well that was that was fine I don't think just met like no. Yeah was a real dick move That was I don't mean just Matt. Dick move. Yeah, was a real dick move Now you've acknowledged and apologized sort of I guess well not to them. Oh, well, maybe they'll hurt us. Sorry. No, that's true Feeling very I'm feeling full of sorry

Yeah, say it what I mean, it's such an interesting term. What is sorry? What is sorry anyway? Do you know what I mean? I mean, they're just sounds. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They're all very soft consonants as well. Doesn't feel like a real word. Yeah, I know.

What's it going to do? Yeah. You know? Yeah. Dongers. A bit of fun. Hitting dongers. You could use that in comedy too. Mate, had some bloody dongers tonight.

Mate, girl. Killed. God, that was an absolute dinger though. Oh mate, more dingers than dongers. I'll take the dongers. Did dingers mean condoms in New Zealand? Not at all. But I've heard you exclusively in Australia refer to them as dingers before.

Condoms are already a bit of a mood killer to be like, go get me a dinger. They call them Johnnies in England, are they? Yeah, rubber Johnnies. Rubber Johnnies. That's pretty fun. I think I like that more. Yeah, it's nice, isn't it? Yeah.

In New Zealand, we don't call them rubbers or we just call them condoms. It's so boring. Connies. Where do you call them? I haven't even called them a connie. I've been in a relationship for 14 years. I haven't touched a condom. That's quite nice though, I'd say connies the years for like...

Connies. Yeah, connies. Named after, yeah, maybe John Cleese's ex-wife. Wasn't she named after a condom? Exactly what I think we were all thinking. That's where my brain went immediately. John Cleese's ex-wife whose name I've learned as Connie and I't know it's her name. Definitely not just sort of an abbreviation of Condom. It's named after John Cleese's wife. Maybe that's where the John and Rubber Johnny come from.

Oh it's all John Cleese based. The adventure of Condoms. There is in The Meaning of Life, he does teach a class about Condoms. That's true. There you go. That makes you think doesn't it? Alright so... Little bit. There you go. That makes you think, doesn't it? All right, so. A little bit. It sure does. Yeah.

Was it? I was saying, my first, because I work in radio, my first broadcasting standards authority complaint, you know, like the official thing, was from a guy who found a joke we made about Aer Lingus. Okay. Inappropriate, and that we were joking about the potato famine too much because all we said that was on this fly of earlingus, they only offer, you know, pussy eating and potatoes. And he didn't, he laid a formal complaint and it was upheld and we had to pay a fine

and issue a formal apology that we would never make fun of earlingus again. A joke on telly. On radio. Radio. Breakfast radio. Wow. How are you, this is a funny situation of two New Zealanders not knowing the exact pronunciation. Are you saying ear like ears?

Oh AER is the ear line. Yeah, you know the Irish, is it a low budget Irish ear line? Yeah, it's just like an ear line. Oh right. You trying to get sued as well? Okay, I thought you were explaining that you were talking about licking out someone's ear on radio. No, ear lingus.

And some Irish guy took offence to that because it's an Irish tradition. It was just a banter. It was just like, they're just chatting about it. No, nothing crazy. We were just like, oh, ear lingus, and they come and they're like, hello, hello, hello, hello. And all they serve is potatoes.

And they're like, you don't know about the famine. Oh. You wear the earring. Well, I wasn't. And that're like, you don't know about the famine. Oh. You were there. Well, I wasn't. And that's fair. I heard you there. Yeah. Yeah.