Who Knew It with Matt Stewart - 147 - Bron Lewis, David Quirk and Ben Volchok

Episode Date: July 7, 2025

Who Knew It with Matt Stewart is a comedy game show podcast hosted by Australian comedian Matt Stewart. This episode features comedians Bron Lewis, David Quirk and Ben Volchok!Check out Matt's stand up special: https://youtu.be/cWStRpI-BhESupport the show via http://patreon.com/dogoonpod and you can submit questions for the show!See the podcast/Matt live: https://www.mattstewartcomedy.com/Check out Matt's podcast network: https://dogoonpod.com/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Whoa, mate, this is the titular Matt Stewart here letting you know that I'm touring Australia in August with who knew it and bad boy doing shows in Brisbane Sydney Newcastle Adelaide and Hobart and they are on sale now if you go to Matt Stewart comedy.com You can find out all the details Brisbane Sydney Newcastle Adelaide and Hobart all double shows with a bad boy Stand-up hour and then a live who knew it with Matt Stewart oh my goodness cannot wait and then of course I'm heading over to the UK in September with dates in Edinburgh Cambridge, Birmingham, Manchester, Swansea and London holy moly huge couple of months coming up I'd love to see you there grab tickets at Matt Stewart comedy.com

Welcome to Who Knew It with Matt Stewart the show where the guests write the wrong answers I'm the titular Matt Stewart and our first guest is performing her show Who's Talking around the East Coast of Australia over the next few months it's Bronn Lewis. Welcome Bronn. Thank you, thanks so much. People can find out details online. Yeah they can do some thing. Yeah. Christ I can't do everything.

Our second guest this week is an award winning comedian. You won the piece of award award, it's David Quirk. Oh my god thank you, thank you fam. Thank you Matt. Hey no worries. And finally another bloody award winning comedian. This guy is performing a show, The Ceremony at the Edinburgh Fringe this

year. It's Ben Volchok. Hello. Nice. Am I right? You are an award winning comedian. I have won a weekly Adelaide Fringe award. That's great.

They count. Yeah. I put it on my poster. They count. It does count. Yeah. I put it on my poster. The way we're all saying that counts makes it really feel like it counts. Yeah. It's like when you say, when you say I am a reviewed comedian, you don't have to say whether it's a good review or not.

It doesn't matter. That's fun. I haven't heard people use that. Yeah. I've been reviewed. I've been reviewed. I've pretty much been due. Reviewed and judged. Yeah. I've been reviewed. I've been reviewed. I've pretty big deal. Reviewed and judged. Yeah. Yes.

My shows have been sold. Yes, I've sold tickets. I've sold. You don't need to know how many. I'm doing my replay show of the house that was never built. I never got to see it. That's right. I want you to come back. I'll be there. You come. I'll give you a ticket. I'm doing it on the 2nd of August at Comedy Republic.

Is that a Friday or Saturday? Saturday, I believe. Oh, fantastic. You're a good one. Yeah, come out. It's early, it's early, but it's good. And that's all. I just want to promote it. Yeah, that's great. It's been reviewed that show. You got five stars.

I did well. I did good review. They gave me a good review. Great. Good for you. That's awesome. I'd love to see it. I hope you can make it. I'll give you a ticket, though. What? And I'll give Matt a ticket and Ben, if you can make it. I'll give you a ticket though. What? And I'll give Matt a ticket and Ben if you want to come. I'll be in Edinburgh.

Ben doesn't want to come. I really want to see it. August, get away. Get out of this. Yeah, I'll fight him in the coming of the world. No, that's a valid reason as I've ever heard. Ben? I like best venue too.

Oh, it's going to be great. Are you filming out? Yeah, I will actually actually good for you. I swear my head off Fuckin oath, I will fuck. I know well Yes, but do you can anyone else promote something real quick just because I don't want to be left alone in Edinburgh and and Brian I also up your dates, you're everywhere. Yeah, so I'm doing my regional tour, so I did all the main cities and then I'm going to do, I'm doing my live show, a film show here on Saturday, so this will be out after that. This Saturday? Yeah, this Saturday here, here, yeah, two of them. So hopefully it's two really good audiences that come, you know what I mean, because it can really, you're filming it and

you've got, last time I filmed it was great, but in the front row I had like three sad sacks. Oh my God. I was like why are you like. Why tonight. Yeah and to sit in the front row to be like I know this is costing you fucking heaps of money and this is how much I hate you. That's it. Three Amy's I reckon. Three Amy's, four Joe.

It was my sister. And her two best Amy's. Yeah, every Amy's. So I'm just looking at you, you're doing Sydney, after this comes out you're doing Sydney, Geelong, Wagga Wagga, Newcastle, Frankston, you're everywhere. Yeah, I love regional stuff. So good. I mean, I don't know if Sydney would be in Wagga and I've taken my shows there three times and every single time it's been wildly disappointing. Oh no. I've got so many family in Wagga.

That's weird. They don't come. Have you got something on? Have you got something on Aunty Di? You do not. If I can get in that car. Sounds personal doesn't it? It does.

That's the threat of your sister showing up. Maybe my sister told him, don't bother, that's shit. Yeah. So the way the show works is ask a relatively obscure trivia question. And our contestants have to write a convincing fake answer and then read their answers as well as a real one. And I have to guess which one is correct. And the first question comes from listener Amy Clark from Winterport in Maine. And the question is, what does fundo and the question is what does fundo

application mean what does fundo application mean okay okay I need to see a spelling if you can request the spelling for sure yeah why not I'll request the spelling I'm not familiar with the words I'm not a shadow no that I mean that that is a big big part of the idea, but F-U-N-D-O-P-L-I-C-A-T-I-O-N. Fund duplication. Fund duplication. Fund duplication. Hmm.

Hmm, interesting. I love the idea that you're like, oh yeah, I know that word. I'll just write down the meaning of it. But don't, if you do know it. I do like that you spelled it out and it had no impact on my knowledge. But you never know what it's going to do. It might trigger something in your mind. Oh, fun. Yes.

Deplication. So while they're writing their answers, I'll explain how the scoring works. You get one point if your fake answer is guessed by one of the other contestants and another point if you correctly guess the answer. And by the way, I'm also playing as the house and I've put into a moment fake answers with the help of the question writers for each question and we get a point I'm gonna say we the house get a point for each one of these that I guess choose so each of us can score up to three points per round which seems fair but the probability actually favors me

or us the house and the house always wins off you've listened to previous episodes you'll know that's not really the case probably about a third of the time anyway our most of our questions come from our great patreon supporters The house always wins off if you've listened to previous episodes. You'll know that's not really the case. It's probably about a third of the time. Anyway, most of our questions come from our great Patreon supporters. And if you want to submit a question, sign up on any level by patreon.com slash dogoonpod, which is linked in the show notes. The answer in for question number one, what does fund application mean? I've said it differently there.

Fund application. Here are your options. An algorithm that increases enjoyment of any activity when implemented correctly. It's option one. Then you've got the expansion of fundamentalist churches and groups. Option three, it's a specific dislocation of the large toe.

Option four, slang term for an arts grant application that is applied for by someone who is independently uber wealthy. Option five, a surgical procedure where the upper part of the stomach is attached to the lower part of the esophagus. Or finally, the application of a gooey substance on cement. All right, Bron, what do you think? I want to say the church one. Yes. Fundamentalist church one. Because I can't remember any of the others. Yeah.

You can ask them again. No, no, no, no. Asking won't help. There was about 19. Yeah, there was so many. And can I say they're all really good. Yeah, that's important. I was waiting for one to stand out like a sore thumb.

You know? Or a dislocated large toe. That's right. Yeah. Or the stomach being sewn onto the intestines or something. But know yeah they're all dislocated large toes that's right yeah or the stomach been sewn onto the intestines or something but i thought they were all very good i would like to say the fundamentalist christian church all right i've locked that in for you thank you so much what do you think david quirk just to clarify how this podcast works i meant to say the wrong answer no no you're meant to guess the right answer. You're the only one who's... Have you been on it before, Ben?

Oh, OK. So, Quirk, you have come in so confused. What I've done in the past in my life makes no... I've never been on... And she's on fire. And she's got a child in the room. I mean, this is an amazing display. That or it's normal and I'm just, you know... No, you're perfect.

No, but I... Just give me some key words from someone. Algorithm, fundamentalist churches, disaccaded large toe, arts application, surgical procedure with the esophagus or gooey substance on cement. I will say the esophagus. Esophagus.

Answer, please. All right, locking that in for David Quirk. What do you think, Ben? Again, they're all very good. Oh, for David Quirk. What do you think Ben? Again they're all very good. Oh this is so nice, what a beautiful vibe we've got going on. And I feel like I would be honoured if I guess this incorrectly for my point to go to someone who's written such a good answer.

Oh wow that's gorgeous. I think that's a great way to play it where you go either it's right or whoever wrote it deserves a point. Yeah, I think so. I think that's a beautiful way to go about it. I think so. Having said that, I do want to win. OK, good for you. Good for you. Let's have a think. I mean, yeah, they're all they're all good.

I was leaning towards the esophagus. I think it's hard because because it's such a it sounds like such an obviously made up word. Like it sounds like there isn't actually like a real definition to it. And therefore, that's like whatever someone's done is like a combination of other words. Yes. Okay. Which is often how words come about. That's true.

That's true. I have just said how words work. Can you give me a pricey once again, please? Which one? The whole thing again. Just a summary of all of them. Oh, yes, you get the algorithm. Yeah. You got the churches. Yeah. Large toe.

Yeah. Grant application. Yeah. Esophagus. Yeah. Cement. Oh, OK. Let's go. I'm going to go. Oh, no'm OK. Sure. I'll I'll I'll go asophagus as well.

I'll join you. Double asophagus double asophagus. All right. I'll look that in. OK. Here's the answers. The algorithm that increases enjoyment when implemented correctly. That was Amy, the question

writer. Being specific to a dislocation of the large toe, that was David Quirk. Oh, that's very good. Was it? Yeah, we liked it. Seems like an injury you would have probably done yourself. No, never had that. Never had a fun reputation in my skate career.

Gooey substance on Samantha was Bron. Thank you very much. Thanks. I like that. Thanks so much guys. Really. Me too. Me too Bron. Wow, that's so kind. But then I thought, application, it's too close to application. Well, I know people that build skate parks out of concrete and stuff.

Oh sure. Right? And you've never heard that word. I just can't imagine, no disrespect to these men and- Concrete- No, men. Men pretty much. Right. And you've never heard that word. I just can't imagine no disrespect to these men and- Concretists? Men, pretty much. That would use- there must be four syllables, nearly five in that. Too many. Yeah, maybe they do.

So, but I like that, it had me. Yeah, the application of a foundation. The application. Yeah. Jeez, bit of a bit of punching down there from Quirk. So, um. Sorry, everyone. Sorry, men.

You come in here late on your skateboard, you disakid. No, no, you didn't. No, no, you're just a parent. The. I'm sorry. The art's application one, that was the house. I added in Uber wealthy there because I could see people being upset, like, it's if you're independently

Okay, you should still be able to apply for grants. I said uber wealthy and then I thought oh gosh Do we have to now be sensitive towards people who were just wealthy? Broken I hate it all if the people who are wealthy are offended by us saying you're wealthy I will just bash everyone. I'm so tired today. If that's where we now have to still be like, are you alright, wealthy person? Are you OK us saying you're wealthy and you can't take the free stuff that the poor people need? Is that OK for us to- look, you've set me off here. No, that's fair. Yeah, no, I think you've talked me around.

There's also a really simple solution to that problem, which is give away your wealth. Communism, communism. It's worked every other country before. Let's just lean in. It's worked up until the capitalists come in and ruin it. Yeah, OK. Oh, there we go. Write it down. Oh, guys, let's not fight. We were getting along so well moments ago.

I feel like we're not fighting, we're just agreeing loudly. Yeah, true. Yeah, that's a beautiful thing. And Ben can send out his manifesto if anyone wants. Absolutely. Braun went for the- The manifesto, sorry. Fundamentalist church groups.

That was Ben Vultroth. Well done! That's very good. Meaning that Dave and Ben are correct. It's the esophagus one. Oh, holy hell. It's a weird procedure. Ben, you're on fire, mate.

Apparently it's a procedure to treat gastroesophageal reflux disease or GERD. Have you had that from skateboarding? Yeah, that's common. I get that most weeks. You do a jump too high and then acid comes out. The fact that I forgot what a fund application was today is insane. Well, a point there for you. Two points for Ben.

And we move on to question two, which comes from Sean McCann from Sky in Victoria. And the question is very vague. Which of these are real species of sea creature? So you've just got to come up with a name of a fake sea creature. This one will be a little bit weirder. That first one was all very sensible stuff. This one usually a little bit odder. Okay, so we're coming up with a name of a sea creature. You know it could be any probably not a fish but

anything else you know. So just to clarify that's the end of the question which of these is a sea creature? Which question mark? Which will make way more sense once your answers have been sent in. It sounds like there's going to be multiple choices. It does yes. Which we provide. Who wrote this? I'm gonna look them up. That was Sean McCann from Sky Victoria. Uh, can't be more specific than that. But I don't think Sky's that big, so I reckon you'll be able to find him.

That's fine. And do we, just to clarify, we're not doing the like Latin name. No, no, this is the common name. The common name, no description, just the name of a species of sea creature. Yeah, there are so many that I don't know. Yes.

Write anything, just put a few letters in a row. And you've done it, Quirk so many that I don't know. Just write anything. Just put a few letters in a row and you've done it quick. One that exists? No, it doesn't exist. Hell, it's like trying to invent a new letter or something. This has got to be the easiest one. This is... This question was designed for you. Make up a word.

Yeah, like for an example, you could look around the room and you could go... You could say like the... Yeah, no, I get it. I get it. Remote control salamander. I'm prepared to move on to hell. And I've been trying to tell that I could see that I'd just stepped on yours. I just put heaps of letters together and then it was done.

Hey, while you're still writing your answer quirk, I can tell Bron about this word. Amy writes, this is my favourite word. This is fundaplication. This is my favorite word I've learned since I started working at the OR of the regional hospital nearest my home. Many surgical procedures have bizarre or hilarious sounding names, but typically there are clues within the name that help you figure out what the body part will be operated on or the desired outcome of the surgery. This was absolutely not the case when I first came across fundaplication, which led me to immediately looking up

what it was and then asking everyone I know if they knew what it meant. When no one did, I decided it would make a good submission and here we are. Cheers. That's beautiful, Amy. Cheers to you, Amy. That's great.

Thank you so much. Thanks for taking us on that journey. Amy from Maine. Maine. The US. Yeah Yeah at the OR there Hopefully you're doing well. All right, the answers are in for question number two, which is which of these are real species of sea creature? flat nasty Flat nasty. No, I think either of those is fine

It depends if you're rapping. That's the only time it changes. Okay flat nasty fine. It depends if you're rapping. That's the only time it changes. Okay. Flat nasty, Bellinger's seahorse, okay. Gross hentafur, donut nudie branch, rainbow banana sparkles or chaffed. That's a hard one. Yeah, that is a hard one. Mike sort of picked that up and I think that's spot on. This question would interest a child. Yeah. Um, okay. We'll go over to Quirk first up here.

What do you reckon? Which one's fake? Which one's real? Because five of the six are fake. So disclosure, I forgot this was even a contest or a game. I don't care. I thought we were just chatting. Who wins or loses. Even now that you remember that it's a contest. Yeah even now I'm in it.

Yeah. Because you're actually after round one you're coming second. Second not bad not bad. That's really good. Yeah. It's actually so good. You did that without realising it was even. Without realising it or where you are. Wanting to even do it. It's a pretty good result. When you replied to my invitation it. It's a pretty good result. You replied to my invitation or it seemed like you were enthusiastic. I thought it'd just be me and you talking about beer or something, which would be, which would be worse. But no, this is nice. Which of these beers is fake?

I'll say, could I hear the second one again? That's not a bad question. I'd be buggered if, excuse my language. Bellinger's Seahorse. Yeah, I like that. I'll go with that. Chuck in Bellinger's. All right. Locked in for David Quirk. What do you think, Ben?

I like that one as well. You two are going to have to break up eventually. You can, you can go together forever. No, I'm going to go with Amy's over here. We're getting on with you. Yeah, that's fine. Amy's of the podcast. I think I'm going to go the nudie branch.

All right. Donut nudie branch. Yeah, because it's, yeah, it sounds like, like the seahorse. It's like a real actual creature. Oh, which bit? The nudie branch. OK. Yeah.

It does sort of sound crazy enough. Like there are animals in nature that have sort of wild names like that. Yeah. Whereas like a chaffed is chaffed. Sorry. Is. I picture a chaffed. I don't know what any of them look like, but I picture a chaffed is sort of like one of those ones that can really expand with it.

He's closing his eyes if you're listening at home. You know what I mean? It's like a little sort of. Like a puffer fish. It's like a tiny little chode worm. Yeah. But it can really expand out. Shorter than it is wide.

That's what I picture. I'm looking for figuring out which one's real and then looking at what they look like. But that's my guess. Do you know the answer right now, Matt? I do, I should say that. Okay. It feels like you're really selling that one.

Well, Matt's also, cause Matt's- I'm in the game. Matt can win points. I'm the house. Two of these answers are mine. So don't listen to me. That's not one of them, though, but I might be lying. But it is.

OK, I'm going to go with that one. Yeah, I like it. Let's move this along. Yeah, exactly. That's so funny. All right, here's the answers. Flat nasty, that was the house. Gross Hentifer, that was Bronwyn. Bronwyn. Sorry, Bronwyn.

That's OK. Am I your mother? That's your least. As long as you don't know me. Then we had rainbow banana sparkles. That was actually written by the question writer, Sean McCann. And then Bellinger's seahorse, which David Quirk went for, that was Ben Vultrach. Oh, he played it. Even Alfie locked in and he still said it. I know, the psychology used against me. Oh my gosh, Ben, you're taking this so seriously. You know, this isn't real.

Well, no, this is real, but we're writing the fake answers. Ah, OK, sorry. Oh my gosh. It certainly feels real. Yeah, that's right. I'm bringing the stakes, you know, you. I know it's not, but it feels real. We are living in a simulation. Yeah. Bron, you went for chaff.

That was David Quirk. Oh, good on you. That was great, Quirk. Is that how you pictured it? How did you picture it when you wrote that one out? I don't know, Chaff. No, but does that ring true to you? Speaking of syllables, as twice I've mentioned syllables, I'd like the one syllable nature.

It sounds like someone 300 years ago invented that one or came up with the name for the chaffed. I love chaffed. I think that's my favourite fake answer. Yeah, I think they're not a deep sea creature. No. For some reason. The correct answer is donut nudie branch.

Oh my god, you've got that as well. I've never heard- So Nudie Branch is a- It's like a type of coral. Oh my God, I've never heard of- It could also be pronounced Nudie Brank. Had you heard of that specific one? Not that specific one, no, I just knew the end bit. Bloody hell.

And it's pronounced Nudie Brank. I don't know, it could be. Did you- Have you practiced for this? Yeah, I came- This is not the kind of quiz you can you practice for this? Yeah, I went into the future. This is not the kind of quiz you can actually practice for. Yeah, I read all of Wikipedia. Oh, OK. This morning, just logged on.

Yeah, plugged it into my brain. Question three comes from Mark Watson from Tucson, Arizona. Now, what is your knowledge of 1980s goth bands? Are you going to know this as well? Oh, I didn't, I was there. I was in all of them. Yeah, I probably know like one of them. Well, if you anyway, if you do, you plan it nicely.

But here is question number three. This comes from Mark Watson. 1980s goth band Sisters of Mercy currently includes only two original members, Andrew Eldridge and Dr. Avalanche. What is unique about Dr. Avalanche? One of the two founding members, yeah This is like a quick something about it. Yeah something about him quirk that is different I'm being asked this only may roll be no way all but we finish that you haven't Keep forgetting I was trying to answer that so seriously.

Um, I was like, I know of that band, you know. Oh, do you? OK, well there you go. Yes, it's The Mercy. Yeah. But I don't know their music really, and it wouldn't help me either way. It's also a Leonard Cohen song. That's right. I assume that's where they took it. I was listening to Leonard Cohen when I was putting this quiz together.

Maybe that's why I'm answering some of your questions. Do you think? Why don't we just get married and settle this? Hey, Wildquirk's still writing that. Bron, let me tell you about donut nudie branches. OK. According to Sean, they're quite small, around half an inch to an inch in length, and they like to hang out on hydroids,

which are small creatures related to jellyfish. Their serata or horns bear a striking resemblance to stacks of donuts or pancakes, which is where they get their name from. Let's have a bloody... I haven't looked at them. I should. You can. I believe you.

You're doing a great job. I believe you, Quirt. You're one of... You're only half of the people in the room have scored a point and you're one of those I think I've been you could say like something weird physically or somewhere where he's from. Okay. Look at that. Look at that Yeah, yeah, what I thought it was but alright the answers are in for question number three What is unique about dr. Avalanche great name by the way of goth band Sisters of Mercy? Option one. He's in a wheelchair.

Option two, he had his chode lanced off at the age of 18. Quack, the wheels are really falling off here. I love that this combines like the chode from the last question with the surgical procedure of the first question. You won one point. How did you know that I wrote that? You didn't have to. Did I? Yeah.

Well done. Saved that. Option three, he's a puppet. Option four, he's a quadriplegic who plays the drums with a stick in his mouth. Option five, he's a drum machine. Or finally, he's never revealed his true identity publicly, but internet sleuths recently revealed he is a noble and a professor of physics at Oxford named Lord Coddleswap the Third. Okay. Ben.

You had me till that bit. Ben, you've got wheelchair, chode, puppet, quadriplegic drum machine secret lord. Most of these are really great. I how do we how do we distinguish with because surely two of those questions. Yes, there's a slight overlap. Yeah, yeah. Oh, in a wheelchair. Yeah, sure.

Yeah, but I mean, but then there's more specific. Yes. Well, then, and one of them, you know, one of them, they can both be individually true. I don't think I don't think if you pick one or the other, I don't think they I don't think either of them cover both. If you know what I mean. OK. Yeah, let's remember how they some of these answers came to be, you know, if you know what I mean. Yeah, it could be a coincidence. Yes. Yeah. And guys, be careful. We could be offending some wealthy people here. Let's just be careful.

Well, it's a pretty successful band. Well, one of them's apparently a noble. One of these answers. Yeah. Is it called Dr. Feather Horse or something? But usually they're property rich and not cash rich. So, you know, you could sell your property anyway. Yeah. Thanks, Bron.

I'm just looking out for the people. Take a moment for the lords. What do you reckon, Ben? I'm going to go with, plays the drums with his mouth. OK, locked in. What do you think, Bron? I want to say he's a puppet. OK.

Locked in for Bron. What do you think, Quirk? I think it's he's a drum machine. Okay. Locked in for Bron. What do you think Quirk? I think it's he's a drum machine. Okay. Hey that's cool. I think they're having a bit of fun with it. Okay he's not finished. Maybe not. Oh he's still going. Sorry. Talking himself into the answer. I thought it was fantastic. I love seeing a little bit of quirk just drip out. Just sort of start to flow out. I love when an answer turns into a poultry slam. Yes, queen, yes.

We have a lot of fun, don't we? Quick, can I just double check, are you having fun? Am I well? Clearly you're well. I'm having fun, I'm having fun. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I will do any. Amy. Holy hell. Holy moly. All right. He's already answers. He's in a wheelchair. That was Bron Lewis. Yes, it was me guys. That was me. He lanced off his chode.

I should say he had his chode lanced off. He didn't necessarily do it himself. No. At the age of 18. That was David Quirk. Yeah. It's a beautifully put together sentence. Yeah.

Lanced off his chode. One of those could have been a result of the other. Yeah. To be fair. Yeah. It's really not. One of those could have been a result of the other. Yeah, you never know.

I don't know their music, but Lanced Off His Chode feels like a great song title. Is that maybe something they could... It's not even something about being Lanced Off. Yeah. Full on, isn't it? Yeah. Lanced Off isn't Lancing what you do to a Boiled, isn't that where you get the, okay, cool, just making sure we all knew what you do to a boiled. Isn't that where you get the okay cool. Just making sure

Yeah, you know what? Yeah, which will never grow back. It's not yeah, maybe that's the thing a doctor made a mistake Thinking it the chode was a boil. Yeah, I think quite childish. Yeah. Yeah Apologies for anyone who got vivid mines. I do I do. I don't. So I'm not really affected by it. But the one about Lord Coddleswoff the third, that was the house. And I did. I was pretty close to the sun there. It was so good until that.

Damn it. Yeah. No. He's a puppet. Brian went for that. That was Ben Volchok. Fuck, I'm just obsessed with Ben Everything he says is perfect. Oh Chuck went with stick in the mouth. That was mark the question right? Okay, the house meaning David Quirk was correct. He is a drum machine

And that's fine, no, I don't sorry I was about to expound about why But you don't care. You don't care. No, no, we care about to expound about why I thought that might have been true, but you don't care. No, no, we care. No, well, expand. It just makes some sense. And I think they're having fun. Yeah, yeah. Thank God you expanded.

Oh, he's still expanding. I feel like I know a little bit about drum machines. Braun is not accepting of any pauses in your communication. Here is question number four, come from Sasha Eisenstadt from Belfast. Oh, she sounds cool. Got a bit of a long run up here. Yankee candles. Anyone heard of Yankee Candles? I had not. No. Apparently it's a large American specialty candle company.

OK. I wasn't sure how big they were. But the question is, what was their 2013 limited release candle? So we want a name and a brief description. Here, here's an example of one of their real ones. Midsummer's Night and their description. Woody notes mingle with sage and cedarwood scents to form an earthy, herbaceous cologne. See what I mean? It's the name of a candle and then a bit of a wanky sort of description of what that is.

Okay. Okay. While you're writing your answers, here's a little more info about Dr. Avalanche. According to Mark, his, the doctor's, official biography on thesistersofmercy.com describes him as quote, next president of the United States and the greatest drummer in the world apart from that bloke in Def Leppard. Hey, while you're writing your answers, let's go for a quick break. Alright we're back. Here is question number four. Yankee Candles, a large American specialty candle

company, released a limited release candle in 2013. What was it called? Here are your options. Dark Japanese cottonwood, scented like a brisk walk through the famous Japanese suicide forest smells. Oh my god. That sounds so nice. And that's pretty Yankee. Oh my god. I should say I don't read these till I read them. All right, option two. OK, Lou Easy Anna. Undertones of tarragon and tantalising paprika with aromas of saltwater and coated in the hints of a home cooked gumbo stew.

Good God, that's good too. Hmm. Yeah. Good God. Too. No one said that about the first one. It's almost as perfect as the first one. That's two from two so far. It's better than the first one.

Option three, pumpkin spice. A scent combining cinnamon, pumpkin and a love to spark for festive occasions. They're all pretty strong. Option four, man town. Escape to the man cave with this masculine blend of spices, woods and musk. Option five. You make me feel sick. Prancing through the posies. Close your eyes and drift off to a pristine prairie where your

nose will skip amongst the wildflowers and pine trees. Or finally, cheese platter, a decadent combination of cheesy scents with notes from cheeky cheddar to Belgian blue. Yuck. That one just smells like vomit. Smells like you've opened your fridge and kept it open. Are they joked candles? Who knows? Who knows? Yeah. Alright, I'm going to go with man cave.

Man town. Man town I meant. Sorry, beg your pardon. No, I love it. Hope that doesn't offend any men in all towns. Wait, Prada, you're suggesting you can't say anything anymore? Yes, I am. And I'm upset about it. And it's ruined comedy. I've got some things to say.

Someone take my muzzle off. Yeah. That's why podcasts are ending. Yeah. David, what do you think? I like the gumbo one. The sort of the Louisiana. Three words, Lou, Easy, Anna.

Yeah, I know it's obviously wrong, probably. Hey, don't talk yourself out about it. That's good. The Yankee name, like I'm like, I'll just go down that path. That's good. Locking it in? Yeah. Locked in.

That leaves only one. I'm going to go to the Prairie. Prancing through the nose. Prancing in such a visual person. It's so funny. Yeah, you've locked me in. I can't take that. Yeah, it's like a nose.

I know that one. No, I didn't. I didn't. All right. Yeah, here's who wrote the answers. The cheese platter. That was a beautiful combination of work from Sasha the question writer and the house. Nice.

Very good. I like cheese. Yeah, in a certain context. Yes. The one about the suicide forest. That was David Quirks. No way. I mean, I would have probably put it if I would have reshuffled it if I'd known where it was

ending. I would have put it down a little lower. But. The dark Japanese cottonwood. That really. Yeah, that was a little lower. But dark Japanese cotton. That really.

Yeah, it was good a start. That took me by surprise. I liked it. I liked it. I'm here to help. Didn't one of one of those brothers, I think kind of became a boxer because he did a video in there or something. What brothers?

One of those brothers you hear about. You know, one of those internet brothers. And two siblings. The brothers in the world. There were two brothers and until recently I thought they were the same guy. There's two brothers and one of them's a boxer. Oh the guys from Oasis. That's it, yep. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

The Gallagher brothers. No I don't know much about that, but that's fine. You don't know about the brothers? Come on. The brothers Grimm. They always visit the suicide forest. Do their best work in there. I looked up suicide forest brothers

and the second result and third, actually the rest, it all came up with the correct answer. Logan Paul, who's got a brother who's another Paul, and he or his brother is a boxer. But I thought they were one guy. Jake Paul? Jake Paul maybe. Could that were one guy. Jake Paul. Jake Paul, maybe. Could be.

I've heard of the Paul. Sean Paul. John Paul. There we go. Yeah. The Courtney Paul. Oh, yes. Aaron Paul, the Breaking Bad actor. Oh, yeah. Maybe it was.

Oh, was it Vinnie Paul, the Pantera drummer? Yes. Where? Paul's a pretty common surname, I think about it. Rupaul. Rupaul. Rupaul. Well yeah, well Ben's already had that.

It's really gone downhill. Like ages ago. Well I missed it as well, so I'm only paying it from Quirk. That's okay, it's normal. Did you say it? No, I did say it. Can you hear Ben? Did you say Rupaul?

I said Rupaul. Shit. You were talking about the drummer from Pantera while I was saying Rupaul. Okay. Oh so, yeah, I fucked it. Can we swear? Yeah. I swear. I swear. I swear. I said RuPaul. You were talking about the drummer from Pantera while I was saying RuPaul.

OK. Oh, so yeah, I fucked it. Can we swear? Yeah. I think with a child. As long as it isn't about chodes. What? Too late. What about that as a like a drag name? Vinny RuPaul.

Yeah, that's great. Is that good? Yeah. Vinny Ru Paul. Yeah, that's great. Is that good? Yeah. Let's get to the- Vinny Ru Paul Abbott. I think that could be really big actually. Paul Abbott. And has the like the Vinny Paul beard. Yeah, look, honestly, I don't know.

And I don't think any of it makes sense. Not a single bit has made sense to me for ages. It'll get cleaned up in the edit. Oh, it'll all make sense then. Okay, cool. That doesn't help our day now though, does it? Hey. No, it doesn't help you, but-

It doesn't help us at all. The listeners will, they'll be like, yeah, this all made sense.. It doesn't help our day now, though, does it? Hey. No, it doesn't help you, but it doesn't help us at all. The listener's world, they'll be like, yeah, this all made sense. Yeah, that was actually the most sense I've ever listened to. Yeah. Lou Ezeana, David Quirk went for that. That was Ben Vultrach. Oh, very good. I knew in my heart.

Hey. But I liked it. I liked it as well. Ben Vultrach. But as the gumbo for me, I was like, come on. I don't want to tell you so long. You had to really think about that one. I almost didn't write gumbo because I thought that's.

Yeah, we shouldn't have. That's why you lost me. That's why you lost your number one fan. With the word gumbo. Yeah, you know how I feel about whatever that is. It's a stew. And it's delicious and I will never choose a candle. It's a candle made And it's delicious and I will never choose a candle. It's a candle made of stew.

What? Yeah, I like it. Why did no one want that? Hey, what's better than, you know, coming home to the scent of a home-cooked meal? I know, and then just looking at it's just hot wax. What's better than coming home to the scent of a home-cooked meal? Try Louisiana gumbo candle. That was really good.

Yeah. I've come around to it. If you want a fake candle. Can I change my answer? Yeah, get an extra point posthumously. Yes, you deserve it. So, Ben, you went for prancing through the poses, I'm afraid. That was the house.

Yeah. And that means, Bron, you are correct. It is Man Town. Oh my God, you, you are correct. It is man town. Oh my God. You guys, huge for me. First point. I will go and have a look. I'll just make sure.

I think he's lying. I like the bit with the prancing, the nose prancing through the poses because you said before, you don't have a very strong mind's eye. I do everything and everyone says my brain will just picture it. So everything you've said about Lansing Chodes has been very upsetting for me. Yeah, I think that really explains, that would explain to listeners about things I say sometimes. Like people like you would be like, why have you said that? And I'm like,

wealthy women. Can't say anything about wealthy women anymore. Not too wealthy. We're the wealthy women. Just mediocrity. Yeah, OK, good. Yes, that's fine. So after four rounds, the scores are Bron on one, the House on two,

Quirk on three, but way out in front on six points. It's been a good job. Wow. Second last question. That's actually amazing. OK. Comes from... Yeah. You're cheating, Ben, somehow. Yeah. I think we amazing. Okay. Comes from, yeah. You're cheating Ben, somehow.

Yeah, I think we should get this on the table David. What's your accusation here? How do you do it Ben? How do you, just, you know, natural talent. It's true and it's very good. Question five comes from. Got a mirror behind Matt. Is that true?

Cause that would be quite, that would be. Huge if. Yeah, some might say. I'm already writing my answer, whatever your question is. Oh, I love it. Okay, the question is, I mean you could, this is the kind of one you could probably just about blind answer. Comes from Rachel Rook from New South Wales. The question is, what was the headline on the UK's Sun newspaper on October the 10th 2006? What was the headline of the UK's Sun newspaper on the 10th of October 2006? While you're writing your answers here's some more info about Man Town. Andy of Andy Yankel, Andy Yankee Cand blog spot called Man Town the Yankee candle of the day on June the 25th 2013. But then he described it.

He said he he didn't like the name of it. And he didn't know. Yeah, he's like I didn't buy it because I didn't like the name of it. But he still called it his Yankee candle of the day. Very confusing stuff from Andy. Smelt it before he knew it. Yeah. And what was the sense again? Do you remember there was musk? Yuck.

The sadness. There was a masculine blend. Whatever that means. Of spices, woods and musk. Oh, yes, that is masculine, isn't it? Classically, women don't use spices. Here's some user reviews, little snippets. One says, it is a sort of old spice smell mixed with fresh out of the shower feel.

Feel? She's rubbing it all over her. And I'm assuming that's a woman. That's a dumb thing a woman would say, isn't it? Another person said, that lovely, just showered fragrance. What is that smell? It's been cleaned? It's just this... Will that depend on what soap you use?

What soap you use? Or finally... I normally don't go for perfumey colognes type scents, but this one was more clean and manly. Smells divine. Yeah, that is a confusing review, isn't it? Who is that? All three reviews to me sound like they've written them.

Right. They do. They don't sound like people have written them. All right. The answer in for question number five. What was the headline of the UK Sun newspaper on the 10th of August 2006? London Bridge is staying up. Not bad. How do you solve a problem like Korea? Oh, that's good. London Bridge is staying up.

How do you solve a problem like Korea? Oh, that's good. Man marries own father and court mix up. Fan ban. London Metro bans portable cooling systems as trains struggle to carry extra weight in heatwave. Everything cows is horses again. Or a nudist stole my fish and chips. Okay David Quirk, so you all got first dibs here. Last one again was... A nudist stole my fish and chips. Yeah that did Yeah, that is classic sun. Sunfare. What do you think Ben? Front page? I feel like...

I didn't say... Not front page necessarily, no. What did you say? Headline? Headline, yep. Well, you blew it. I never said front page. No, you didn't. Yeah, but it's implied, isn't it? Yeah.

What, any headline? I don't think it changes this game at all. I don't know what you two are being such slobs about that. Thank you so much, Brian. If we could just get on with it. Yeah, you're right. Light a candle, let's get on with it. No, you're right, Brian.

You're right. Ben, what do you think? I'm gonna go with Korea. Ah. You're starting with Korea. Yeah. Yeah. And what's wrong with that?

Oh my gosh. What's wrong with Korea? Well, they try communism. We really probably depend which side of the border you're talking about. Well, they and what's wrong with them? With either side of the border. Well, one of them's like quite a brutal dictatorship. Yeah. There's a despot there.

Right. And then what about killed a lot of their own citizens? And what about North Korea? Oh, he's good's a despot there. Right. And then what about- They've killed a lot of their own citizens. And what about North Korea? Ha ha ha. Very always good. He got me there. I'm actually gonna- I'm actually gonna go with Korea as well.

I love that one so much. Alright. What was it though? The qu- it was- How do you solve a problem like Korea? Yeah, yeah. You familiar with the sound of music? It sounds too-

Too good. Political for that newspaper. But yeah, maybe. Yeah, maybe they're talking about Korean skincare. I don't think that existed in 2006. Yeah. See, and that- In Korea, it did exist in 2006.

I actually don't know, I haven't done my research. Well, you've got to get on Wikipedia. Yeah, I read that it did. So. Here's who wrote the answers. Everything cows is horses again. That was Ben Vultrach. But Ben, you got to remember, Ben wrote that thing. It was a front page headline.

Yeah, I was- I think it was round about that time. Do you remember when there was the scandal of like horse meat? Oh, like the mad cow disease? Yeah, something there was like they were- no, it was just that they were using horses in mints and stuff. Yeah, the Ikea meatballs, wasn't it? Yeah, a lot of stuff. Oh, okay. Mints and stuff. Yeah, the Ikea meat balls, isn't it? Yeah. What was it? A lot of stuff.

Oh, OK. I thought that was around 2000. As a vegan. Too clever. David Quirk, do you get the big deal? Because it feels like they're both big animals. They're both animals, aren't they? Well, it's so funny that that is, like, very controversial.

My thumb, you know, is one of them. Yeah. Yeah, I guess so. The country. I think they're both beautiful as well. Some people are like, oh, but horses are a beautiful animal. I love a cow. OK. I think that they're the chunkiest of all, maybe animals.

Hmm. You're saying they're the biggest animal. Is this a science podcast? I have no idea. Yeah, yeah. That's scientifically correct. The biggest animal. Yeah, I checked it on Wikipedia. It's for sure. It's really the biggest. OK, yeah.

Yeah. Does that upset you? The people who are eating horses? Unwittingly was the controversy. OK. Yeah, true. You should know what the meat is. Yeah, that was a good horse noise, by the way.

Yeah. That's my answer. OK. London Bridge is staying up. That is a David Quirk. Thatow up. Vow up. That's my answer. London Bridge is staying up. That is a David Quirk. That's good. Which I really like. And I read it like Oliver Clarke's famous My Flyers.

Oh, how embarrassing. My Flyers done up. That's how I was reading it. I don't know. Hopefully that was okay. Are you okay with that creative license he took? No, I prefer it. But a monotone reading of an Oliver Clarke joke is...

I don't know if I quite nailed it. But, um, man marries own father in a court mix-up. That was Rachel, aka the house. The fan band. About the extra weight and the heat wave. That was also the house. I almost went for that one. Anoodis stole my fish and chips.

David Quirgram for that. That was Bron. Oh. Yeah, went for that one. I knew to stole my fish and chips. David Krogram for that was Bron. Oh. Yeah, it's Al Fowler. Fell into the trap. Yeah. Didn't I? And Bron and Ben got it correct.

It is how do you solve a problem like Korea? And the Korea they were referring to was North Korea. Yeah, and? No, I was just letting you know. And just letting you know that that is one of the Koreas. Yep. Well, well done. That's correct. You too. Thank you.

That's my best ever round guys. You've really come back. You've come home strong. Power out, thanks. You were pointless for the first half. Okay. And in the second one, And now your life has meaning.

Yeah, pointless. I mean, sorry. Christ. You didn't score any points. My son's in the room. I did not even catch the accidental double meaning there. Senseless and pointless behavior. Everybody going to the final round is worth triple points this one. Oh my god. So it's still chilly in

everyone's game but the scores going into it. The house is on two. Bronn and David Quirk on three points apiece and out in front on seven points. It's quite a thing on the score. It is. Oh so we could so David and I could actually. Ben Mollchock is on seven. You definitely could win. Smash Ben right now. Yeah if you get if you did what you just did in that round, you get- Oh my god. You'll, you know, you'll really come home strong. Alright, final question. And if Ben gets nothing, don't you say a fucking word. Yeah, I'm not submitting an answer. Good. And tell me who's is the wrong one and I'll guess that.

Okay. I reckon you might guess one of ours. So, the final question. Okay. The final question. Okay. The final question comes from Paul Mellor from Oldham in the UK. Oh my God, it's one of Paul's. I can't believe we didn't guess. He said Paul Weller. Paul Mellor.

Oh, it was Paul Weller from the Jam. Oh, I imagine. Is he from Oldham? It may be. Imagine if he was a listener. Imagine. Imagine if he was a listener imagine And he also just he didn't want to let everyone know so he changed he turned his w upside down very cool

So Paul's question is what is the synopsis of the movie star crash? So this will be your longest answer Bron. This is okay a paragraph. Three, four, five sentences, something like that. Okay, and can I just do, I've got a piece, quite a bit of piece. Yeah, please do. No, that's fine. Is that a real film? Yes, it's a real film.

Thanks, guys. So you've got to write a fake synopsis for a made up film. I'll do it while I'm out. You can do it while peeing. Well, I'll try. All right. While you're writing those answers,

here's some more information about that article, How Do You Solve a Problem Like Maria. The funniest thing to me is that all the... I couldn't find the actual article but I found articles about it and they all talk about how it was a play on a popular TV show at the time which was called How Do You Solve a Problem Like Maria. None of them like... clearly more importantly, it's that's the song from the sound of music, right? Yes, that's what I assumed.

Which I grew up always thinking that Maria was a great problem solver. How do you solve it like she would solve it? Yeah, yeah, that is actually beautiful. I always thought that. It's much kinder than how it was, was just all these old nuns yelling at her, you're a problem. Yeah. She just dancing around going, oh, sorry.

Yeah, I'm like, she's a great problem solver. Why are they kicking her out? I mean, if you really look into it, like she did solve one of the biggest problems, which was the Nazis. Yeah, she solved them. Yeah, she was actually really good. She solved that. Yeah, I forgot that part.

Yeah. Yeah, it's such a long film. You think like, because I think that kids watch it up until. The puppet show. Until it's time, until the kids go to bed. Yeah, Peter's saying good night. And then you did. Oh, and then the adults, now that they've gone.

We're going to get stuck in the Nazis. Bring the Nazis out. The kids are gone. The 900 kids have gone to bed. And then the Nazis, yeah, then the Nazis come in. And I only watched, I think, the full version of that film as an adult, which meant I did go to bed when kids did. Or I just went to sleep.

Oh, you just get sick of it because it's like three hour movie. There is an intermission in it. There's an intermission in it. That was a different time for movies where three hours was like now. It's almost normal to have a movie that's pushing three hours. But back then, that was crazy. I mean, back to sorry, I'm talking to the listeners again. So I found a Korean, South Korean news site called SBS, which did like a.

A South Korean news site called SBS. Yes. And I broke down this article. And did it also have an article says, how do you solve a problem like the UK? Hmm. Well, they, they, yeah, I had to use Google Translate. But anyway, I'll read some of the article here. It says, on the morning of October the 10th, 2006, the SANA newspaper with a top circulation of 3.8 million copies ran a headline on its front page asking readers

the question, how do you solve a problem like Korea? The title subtitled World Fury at Nuke Test is not an accurate expression as it does not use the name North Korea which could easily confuse readers who do not have much idea about Korea. However, it could be interpreted as a desperate measure to match the pronunciation and rhythm of the names Maria and Korea in the process of parodying the title of a popular BBC musical protagonist selection program, How Do You Solve a Problem Like Maria? What is important is that the article calmly and properly covers the reality of the nuclear

weapons testing, the background that led to the testing, and the impact and prospects for the future international situation. Below the headline on the front page a three three-line short article summarizing the main points reads, The world plunged into crisis last night after North Korea detonated its first nuclear bomb. Furious leaders from around the globe were desperately considering ways to punish the rogue communist state. Kray's dictator Kim Jong-il the rogue communist state. Crazed dictator Kim Jong-il lampooned right in the puppet movie Team America. They posted a picture of Kim Jong-il in Team America puppet form along with the headline. Crazed dictator Kim Jong-il ordered the weapon test. As you can see from the expressions crazy

dictator, this is now back to the SBS expressions crazy dictator, furious world leader and red communist state, the article uses vivid terms to criticize North Korea's nuclear test and Kim Jong Il. The articles covered along with this are the news that 3 million people in North Korea starved to death, the reactions of each country and a map of the status of nuclear weapons in each country. Then, as expected from a popular newspaper that mainly focuses on provocative content, it separately reports on Kim Jong-il's extraordinary daily life. It introduces him as being about 157cm tall, wearing high heels, enjoying a luxurious life with Elvis Presley style sunglasses and a ridiculous hairstyle.

The point is that even though millions of people are starving to death, his extravagance shows no signs of stopping. Delicious all night. Is that another one of his- the things that they're accusing him of being delicious all night? Yeah. He says delicious all night. It is reported, I'm guessing that was a little headline. It is reported that he threw a party with food, made women dance naked and encouraged the guest he invited to dance saying, dancing is okay,

but you can't touch, if you touch, it's theft. This is a character assessment that uses provocative and peripheral terms. I think they've really taken that article apart. An article which seems to not exist on the internet anymore. I think that touching is theft is a very. I like that there was three things in what the parties contained. Yeah.

And one of them was food. Full on. It was decadent. Full on. Wow. It was horses. Yeah. When the country is starving.

Eat. No. Yeah. When the country is starving. Eat. Yeah. I feel like touching is theft is like a Marxist stripper's. Yeah. Mantra. Absolutely. Whereas here we say it's assault. And I, you know, both are bad. So, come see, come saw. It's what I always say.

It's my lower back tattoo anyway. Yeah he comes out. Mine says touching is a win. Is a gift. Yeah it's quite the opposite. See it sees the means of touching. Have you submitted have you got submitted. Yes.

So sentences wasn't supposed to. Mine's only one sentence. OK. I think mine's one sentence. With many words. Zero. No punctuation. Take a really deep breath before you go that one. Stream of consciousness. Sort of comically found. All right, the answers are in.

Final question. What is the synopsis of the movie Star Crash? So there's a lot to take in here. There's six answers. They're all pretty long, but I'll try and summarise them after. Option one. Have you ever fallen in love in space? Star Crash is an intergalactic love story of two feuding astronauts that find themselves stranded in space.

As time begins to run out, as does their frustrations with each other and love blossoms. Will they make it back to Earth in time, or will this romantic tale crash harder than a star? Option 1. Option 2. A wealthy, eccentric entrepreneur selects a group of Hollywood stars for a flight aboard his new supersonic luxury jet. However, when the systems of the aircraft begin to fail as a result of sabotage, the flight appears to be doomed. But Reynolds, not but Reynolds, Burt Reynolds plays Darcy Green, the action movie star who hopes to find the culprit and prevent a major star crash. The star crash. Option three, a ship of rogue astronauts running from interspace law crash land on a planet

where the only other creatures living there have a secret plan to destroy Earth. Can they stop the alien plot in time while evading capture by the authorities who are fast on their tail? Collective tail. Collective tail. One giant tail. Collective tail. One giant tail. Then while running. What? I just, I doubted myself that I was repeating the last one, but it's not at all similar

to how the last one started. Then you've got while running from authorities, outlaw smugglers, stellar star and acton pick up a castaway, who turns out to be the only survivor from a secret mission to destroy a mysterious superweapon designed by the evil Count Xarth Arn. The Smugglers are soon recruited by the Emperor of the Galaxy to complete their mission, as well as to rescue the Emperor's son, who was gone missing. Option 5.

The year is 2088, and the Earth is doomed. As a result of a mysterious blast of cosmic energy the Earth has fallen out of orbit and is on a collision course with the Sun. How would the residents of the small English coastal village of Mousehole spend their final hours before total planetary meltdown? Or finally, Star Crash is a story of Anthony Star and his 1964 from Grace in the Star scandal in Great Britain detailing his love affair with director William Bessini and his sham marriage with Judi Dench. Okay. So if I can try it. So the first one, you got the love story, the love story of the feuding astronauts. Then you've got the like the movie stars in the crash with Burt Reynolds.

Then you've got the rogue astronauts on the run with their collective tail. Then you've got another group running from the authorities and the evil count Zarth Arn. That's good. Then you've got, it's 2088 and the earth is doomed. And finally, the story of Anthony star and his fall from grace. Okay. So Ben, it's back to you. Oh, gotta go first.

Yeah, okay. They all sound pretty good. I want to watch them all. Yeah, OK. They all sound they all they all sound pretty good. I want to watch them all. Yeah. I'd watch one of them. The real one. How do you know? Because it's the only one you can watch.

The others will get made. I think Spielberg normally tunes in. Giving my deep. That's my thinking noise. I think therefore I am. Let's go. OK, there's so many of them. I'm trying to like piece together what year did you say this film was? Didn't say what year.

Can you? No. Damn. I feel like that would be unfair at this point after. OK, I'm going to go. Let's go the Emperor of the Galaxy one. It has the- has the, like like to me this the like the scent of one of those like famously awful. Stellar star and Acton.

Yeah, I know they they sound really like they sound made up, but they sound made up. Oh, yes, I know. So I can see why you're here, because that sounds like it could be made in the fifties or so. I can see why you're so here, because that sounds like it could be made in the 50s or something. Oh, 40s. Yes, I don't know, just something that's like, I don't know, weirdly, I don't know. 80s, but throwback 80s. Yeah. If this is one of yours and you're like defending it.

I'm doing well now. Yeah, it's one of those ones, because like Acton just sounds like action. Oh, yeah. But it's I think it's one of those. Stella Starr's got a ring to it. Yeah, but it's it's like it's you've heard Starr and you're gone Stella. I don't know. It sounds like. Interstellar. I think it's actually more clever than you already.

Is this the house? Have you made this up? No, I'm just saying it's a good one. I'm I'm going to I think. No, I. He's really worried about losing, isn't he? Yeah, Christ. It actually is really important who wins. Oh my god.

Now he talks. I should have told you that earlier, Bron. Oh my god. This is a make or break thing. This is a fast track to the barrier ward. Yeah, it puts me back in time when it was still called that. Yes. Yeah, whatever, let's go the Emperor of the Galaxy.

Okay, locked in. Yeah. What do you think, Bron? The one I want to watch is the Judy Dench one. Yeah. Yeah. Nice. And you want to watch it and you want to lock it in?

And lock it in. That's what I'm watching. All right, locked in. That leaves just one. I would say the second last one. The year 2088. 2088. Yeah. Locked in?

Yeah. Why not? All right. Locked in. OK, here's who wrote the answers. Have you ever fallen in love in space? That was Bron. And no one has fallen in love in space. No one has.

They don't have that ability. It's probably the way Snops is should open though, I think. Thank you so much. Actually, weirdly, it sounds like the plot of the film Solaris. Oh, see, I don't watch, I don't like sci-fi. I don't believe in space. So I don't believe in the round earth theory. Neuror, so no, I haven't watched any of this.

No interest. The one about the wealthy entrepreneur that has Burt Reynolds in it, that was Paul the question writer. Okay, the house. Well, it was offensive. So that's why we didn't choose it, mate. Eccentric. Come on.

Wealthy people have feelings. Come on. Leave him alone. The ship of rogue astronauts with the collective tale. I didn't say that, but I think Bron sort of wrote that into it and it really stuck with me. That was Ben Volchok. Yeah. Oh yeah, there you go.

It's good. My undoing was the lack of a plural at this. Yeah. Yeah. You silly boy. Oh my God, if you lose because of the collective tail. Just one little, little letter S. Bron went for the story of Anthony Starr.

That was David Quirk. Oh, great one. Yeah went for the story of Anthony Starr. That was David Quirk. Aw, great one. Yeah. I would like to watch that one. I'd love to get that made. Anthony Starr's the like comic actor from like Party Down, isn't he?

Is that who he's at? Yeah. Oh, they were talking about the English one from 1960. Oh no, yeah, that's why I thought. That was great, Quirk. I think I was happy with that. I don't know where it came from. I guess, you know, when you're good, you're good.

Now it's Martin's star. When you're good, you're good. Dave went for 2088. That was the other one written by Paul Mellor, the. Mm hmm. No one got the right one. No, that means Ben got the right one. Oh, Ben got the right one.

Stella Starr and Acton and Count Zavarn. It sounded so ludicrous that it had to be true. Yeah. Okay, well done. Wow. Does that mean that Ben won? We got had. Ben won.

So when was that film then? Uh, so... Like the 80s, surely. Um... Let me just say what I've got written down, then I'll find out the year. Paul writes, This is one of the most batshit films I've ever seen. It's Roger Corman's take on Star Wars

And a review of Eddie Harrison reads a wonderful mess on par with the Luigi cozies Simile bonkers the humanoid star crashes the ideal film to zone out and just go with whatever it is critics in like it only 33% Prove of it on rotten tomatoes audience similar 36% that first review was bat shit films that shit not bad shit crazy yeah that's just a bat shit bat not horse shit not dog shit not rat shit yeah it's just a bat shit I think it's the first it's ever been used like that. I like it. Without the, yeah. All right, final.

Guano. This is a Guano film. Oh, you did ask a question, let me. Yeah, what year was it? It was like 1983 or something. 1978. There you go. Okay.

All right. 1978. Final score check. In equal third place on three points a piece, it's Bron and the House. Yeah. Moving up in a second place on six points is David Quirk. Okay, thanks. But out in front on ten points is Ben Vultracken.

So impressive. So many points. That's it. That's what I live for. Well done, Ben. Thank you very much. Before we go, where can people find you one more time? So, yeah, on the Internet.

Yep. I'm also doing- yeah, I'm doing some shows in Edinburgh for the Edinburgh Fringe. What's it called? It's called The Ceremony. Yeah, that sounds good. Yeah, it's an improvised interactive ritual that's different every time. Wow. Just drawing from the audience, we make some silly thoughts and noises together.

Very cool. For an hour. Wow. And I'm also doing some shows in London, Newcastle, Cardiff and Exeter. Sick. I think should be announced by the podcast. Devin. Comes out.

Love it. Yeah. That's great. That is very cool. Instagram and. He's an international star. He didn't say that we're going to have an international star and winner. Hopefully it's not an international star crash. Oh, gosh, he's got he's never stopping.

I'm not. He's always on. David Quirk, what about you? Where can you find me? Yeah. What do you post much online? I'll be leaving Stupido Studios in probably the next five minutes. So if you're out on the street,

you might see me out there. Sydney Road, then I'll probably get a train from there. And I live in the CBD, so keep your eye out in the next. Okay, well, yeah. I'll probably arrive home before this comes out, so there's probably no point. Okay. Telling you that.

One of your specials is available online. What? And so, and one of them audio-ly and one of them visually as well. Oh yeah, if you want to listen to ABC Listens podcast, I believe, and you can find my, the audio. Good little thing to listen to. Audio-ly is the word we would like to choose. Audio-lio.

Yeah, thanks for the nice. And of my show, Astonishing Obscurity, look up that. I don't know if you can listen overseas, but maybe you can. Fax me and I'll send you the link. And otherwise, 2017, you can just Google my name and I think the show was called Cowboy Mouth. Yes, recorded in the old stupid old studio. That's right, it was.

In the round, which was sick. Sort of in the round, it was pretty cool. Sort of, yeah. I was in a horseshoe. Otherwise, look up deadbeat on Instagram. That's D E D B double E T like Beatry. I probably should have changed that years ago, but we're stuck with it now. So that's me, David Quirk.

That's great. That's everything. And Comedy Republic. On the second of August. So good. See you there, folks. Hi, Bron. Hi, Bron. Where can we where's the best place for people to find you? Instagram Bron Lewis Comedy. And then I'm going to do my regional tour and I'm also I've got a few couple of specials on the internet. Obviously is one my last one filmed here probably and that was filmed at Comedy Republic and then I'm going to have one that will be out later this year that I'm filming on Saturday here in this venue.

So good. Is it also an adverb? Pardon? Is it also an adverb? Yes, it is. That's very good. Love it. I'm also going to be in the UK in September, going six dates of this show and my show Bad Boy, Edinburgh, London

and Birmingham and Cambridge and Swansea and Manchester. Great. And I've filmed a show that will be coming out probably around the time this is out, but I'll tell people about that more. It's going to be called Best Man, even though as a festival show it's called Ding. I thought it was like a secret wedding show. Like it's just an observation about weddings. I'm like was like, it was a secret wedding show. Like it's just about weddings. I'm like, no, I wouldn't want to go to that.

But now that it's already recorded, I'm like, I'll change the name to make it more. Yeah, you could. You can do that. Enticing. Well, I thought I'd start, I thought I'd do patterns without it. So, but I did actually change it. I should have stuck with the pattern, but I didn't. But when you release it, you can just change it.

I'm going to change it. You may not change it. Oh, I haven't heard. I haven't seen this show. And then I didn't. But when you release it, you can just change it. I'm going to change it. You may not change it. People are going to go, oh, I haven't seen this show. And then they'll start watching it. This is fucking ding. I saw this. Yeah. Oh.

And they'll be furious, but they've already got that one little thing clicking over on the view counter. Yeah, sucked in. Sucked in. Sucked in, you suckers. What matters? Thanks so much for joining us. We had so much fun.

And thanks for listening, everybody. Please give us a five-star review and tell your friends if you think you know anyone who might enjoy it anyway cheers for tuning in to who knew with Matt's Jolt now that you know what I've been Matt's Jolt goodbye We're rolling now just in case. It's a shame we missed all that gold. Yeah, that is a shame. The memories was really good.

The Vegas. Yeah. Vegas. Solid gold. Wow. Yeah, this is, this is going to sound tantalising. Wow. You should have been here.

I should have rolled up. But yeah, Connor, there is a child in the room and. We know that. We know that. We know that. We know that. We know that. We know that.

We know that. We know that. We know that. We know that. We know that. We know that. We know that. We know that. We know that. I should have been here. I should have rolled up. But yeah, Connor, there is a child in the room and- No one knows who it is. Yeah. He got in here.

I can see it. The others are treating me with suspicion. No, bronze kids are here. So just letting you know that things may need to be edited out. He occasionally yells out something that he's seen on TV. Awful obscenities. Yeah, he's 15 by the way. Yeah.

Yeah, he's a 32 year old man. Sat in the corner watching TV. It's me. We've actually miced him up in the end. Do you have any questions, Bron? Because you haven't been on before. You get the vibe. Yep, I know what it's about. And you just DM me your answers on wherever you like,

Instagram or Facebook or WhatsApp. This is what we're doing on air. This is the stuff. Yeah, I started recording, hang on, we haven't, have I explained everything? Do I need to do any DMing? Yeah, you're the same. You'll be the staff. Yeah, I started recording. Hang on, we haven't, have I explained everything? Do I need to do any DMing? Yeah, you're the same. You'll be the same. Okay, I've done this before apparently.

I didn't think I need to explain to you because you have been on before, but you know. Must have been ages ago. It was a while ago, wasn't it? It was me. It was you and Jess Perkins. Does that help? Okay, that's ringing bells.

Ringing a bell, yeah. So I'll ask a question. So straight to Matt Stewart on Messenger. Yeah, it could be- Just Matt Stewart. Yeah, don't group message it, because that'll give away the game. Okay.

All right, so happy with that? Yeah. And yeah, Connor will trim out, if you've got any questions, feel free to ask at any point. You know what I mean? Mm-hmm. All right, see.

I think you can confidently stop the recording, delete all of that. No, no, I think Connor will find some gold in that. No, I can't, no way. Connor. Because he has a little outtakes bit at the end, little snippets, and I reckon he'll be able to get out something.

Would you want to do a funny noise? Uh-huh. Yeah, that is almost definitely in. Whoa, you're ready. That'll make it. You're ready for that, Ben. Yeah, I'm confident that's it. I got more, what do you want?

Anything highly offensive. Oh yeah. A slur? Come on, let's cancel someone today. I'm angry. I'll put that at the end of the podcast. Little Easter eggs. Offensive Easter eggs.

Yes. And yeah, everyone knows Vultrach. Ben Vultrach is the king of curses and. C***. Oh, wow. Did we say there's a child in there, Ben? What the f***? What the what, man?

What the f*** in hell? He's watching Eyes Wide Shut. He is, yeah. And has noise-canceling headphones. He does, yeah, he can't hear us. We gotta get that full Kubrick experience. Yeah, they're like, we borrowed them from Family Feud. That's how good of quality they are.

He's in a soundproof booth. Alright, shall we begin? I reckon, I'm confident that's going. I reckon we really brought it home there late. That was good, yeah, okay, cool. Bronwen Lewis. I've written Bronwen Lewis. Yeah, sometimes that happens. Which really tricked me. Hey, sometimes that happens. I'm gonna say it again. Connor will trim that out. Okay.

Connor doing a lot of- Oh, fucking hell. What the fuck? Connor doing some heavy lifting in this podcast. What? I don't know why. Well, we're talking so you can turn your old music up. Sorry. It's been confirmed that he is a child. It's not a figment of our imaginary collective psychosis. Is it bad for music use if we can hear it? Do you know what I mean?

Oh, Dave, don't stand back door fucking parenting, mate. Sorry. Jesus Christ. Sorry, bro. What the fuck? fucking parenting made sorry Jesus Christ. Sorry for what the fuck. What I mean is he's trying to podcast and I am busy. There's a lot going on. I get it right in here on your skateboard with your damn shirt.

Covering 15 minutes like that bloody device with 15 minutes. Why do I know my partner listens what I think too loud and it goes nowhere when it falls on, ironically deaf ears. Yeah. David Quirk, can I just get a... Is yours as written as you want it? That's the answer? You want an answer to the question? Yeah, yeah. You happy with that? The question was what does it mean? It's gotta be good. No, I just... What was the question? I can't even remember. I'm just... Look, I've just got a red squiggly line

under one of your words and I, as in it's not a cry. I just want to know if you just want me to say it. Yeah, he wants you to say it. Yeah, sorry, it is spelled wrong, but do you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, it's missing a key letter. Yes, it is. Yeah, yeah, great.

Now I read it back. Hey. No fan. That's a clue. That's a clue. Yes. I've been saying this very seriously. One of these words has a letter back in. I ask for the spelling of the word then like to spell the answer wrong.

I just wasn't sure because the way you spelled it kind of sounds like it should be a word. True. Anyway. In the OR. And more importantly, your patients are? We've all got their stomachs and intestines still. Fused. Yeah, you want to get that right as well because it's like the top and the bottom, you imagine you switch them around

and things start going up. Oh, golly. The gourd would get worse. Oh, God. Right up the jacksy. Yeah, you don't want that. That's a technical term. He hit that from skateboarding.

Yeah, the jacksy. Oh my gosh, The answers are in. Are you ready for this? Yeah. This is me padding as I cut and paste the words across. Sorry. That's OK. Do you know, I don't think I've met many Amys that I've liked. My sister. I just think about that. I don't think I've met an Amy I didn't like.

Oh, that's interesting. I think Amy has been a friendly name as well, but. Yeah, no, my sister's called Amy. She's so nice now. But growing up with her was hell. So every time I meet someone called Amy, I. Yeah, no, my sister's called Amy. She was, she's so nice now, but growing up with her was hell. So every time I meet someone called Amy, I'm like, prove yourself to me. Yeah, that runs deep, doesn't it? Oh, yeah.

It just triggers something in you. Yeah, she was a real bully. She's come good now. She's come around. Yeah, she's got four kids of her own and the two of the girls, two boys, two girls, similar to how we grew up, but the two girls, the older one is really mean to the younger one. And it does aim his head in. She's like, why is she so mean to her?

I'm like, yeah, why is she mean to her? Look within. Yeah, it's awful, isn't it? But we're always like, why did mum do nothing? Because mum did nothing. She's too busy. She's tired. She was probably thinking, why are they going at each other? No, not the little one. Little one was just like, oh, sorry, I'm a bit chubby and you. This is what I said.

Not mine. Not my beautiful niece. And can you could you just while David's writing, could you clarify the pronunciation of Nudie Branch, Nudie Brank? Oh, it is Nudie branch nudie brank. Oh, it is nudie brank. Oh, yeah. All right. Because I'm pretty sure it's also nothing like correcting the host.

Hey, if anything, you might lose a point. Bring it on. I've got enough. Oh, jeez. Where is this coming from? I was going to say that because it's pronounced nudie brankank, it's not spelt, I think, E-S, the plural. It's just Nudie Brank with just an S. Right.

Which looks weird. Nudie Branks. Okay, right, right. But it looks like C-H-S. I see, I see. I see where this confusion, this deep confusion has come from. Yeah. Am I correct in that?

Ah, sure. Sure. Why not? Why not? Hey, what are we all doing today? Hey, we're making podcast history. I think I think everyone's doing great. I like how you're all playing this game very differently. Ben taking it. We're making podcasts history.

Oh, really? This is the final one. There'll be no more podcasts. They're history now. We're making podcast history. Really, this is the final one. There'll be no more podcasts. They're history now. They're done. This is not only because we have now said everything that we- that needs to ever be- have been said, but also because it's so bad that no one will ever want to make something akin to this ever again. Yeah. And maybe since you've read all Wikipedia today, maybe after the podcast, we'll just leave you in the room and you can just recite what you read. Oh brilliant. So you've been here for several months I imagine.

Oh yeah. But over the end of podcast. When all the info's out there, you know? Yes. When all the info is out there read by a straight white man into a microphone, that's when we know all of podcasts are done. Yes, that's when we know what's real and what's not. Yeah. Well, I appreciate that they're for dramatic effect, but I have had a big night.

OK. You say, but when I offered a coffee before. I understand, I'm sorry. You said you've already had 95 coffees today. Yeah, it was a big night and not a fun night. Yeah. Don't get, don't be like, oh, wow, good for you. But I think you know the last time we worked together at Quirk was where we had to host Raw.

I knew you'd had a big night the night before. That's right, it was lovely. It was wonderful because he said to me, into the green room, he said, don't, I had a big night, really big night, don't tell Flashbang, the guy who was running the gig. And I was like, yeah, that's fine. I was like, I didn't have big night, I'm happy to run it.

I'm happy to do it, you just like, just be near me sometimes. So you're technically part of the gig. No, no, that's fine. I was like, I didn't have a big night. I'm happy to run it. I'm happy to do it. You just like just be near me sometimes. So you're technically part of the gig. No, no, it was easy. I truly hadn't had a big night. It was fine. And you, and then Flashbang walked into the room and you turned to him and you went,

hey, I had a really big night last night. What an idiot. No, it was fine. But we had to announce the people coming on stage with the microphone and you said I'll do two then you do two, which is an insane pattern. You know, I was like why we just got one edge. No, no, you decided two and two. So we were confused.

That was like a parody or something. You could do it on a drum machine. And at one point you had forgotten how to use your arms because it was your turn to announce them and you didn't know how to pick the microphone up so you rested your face on the table next to the microphone and announced the next person. Well it got low got my face low. Yes it was incredible. You can lie that down and we'll be it's show business baby. You're not the one who's coming off a big night either. Jesus Christ.

I know I had a big, it was great. So that's what I'm saying. Like it's some, some things are fun. Big nights. You, your one was awesome. Mine wasn't. No, you saved my life that day. No way.

My son just vomited. How can I pay you back? You could look after my son if he vomits. Okay, all that, that'll talk at length after my end. Yeah, no, I'll take your son. Isn't, isn't Echo and the Bunny Man, like I think Echo maybe is the drum machine as well? Is that something? Yeah, I don't know.

I'm going off a very vague memory there. It doesn't matter. I'm sure people will correct me online. If they want to, I'll check actually. Oh, hang on. I've looked it up and this would have annoyed people. The early incarnation of Echo and the Bunny Man featured a drum machine assumed by many to be Echo, though this has been denied by the band.

So I imagine there would have been people absolutely screaming at their iPods for a moment there. Furious with my fake fact. Although I just read that on Wikipedia Ben, so really. Oh yeah, yeah. You should have probably been the one correcting me. Oh, look, I was willing to let it slide because I was too busy writing my next answer. And I knew that you'd find it.

Yeah, yeah, I appreciate that. I just want to let you three know that I'm having a great time. Oh my God, that's so nice. He had his chode lanced off at the age of 18. I like that as like an end you know the those movies that end with the just the still photo on what they happened what happened to them in the end he had his chode lanced off at the age of 18. Rest in peace. Went on to be the drummer of a successful 80s goth.

Yes. Yeah. Yeah. He was able to focus. All of a sudden his rhythm was perfect. Also, you chose the one with the who the person that would be really exhausting. Yeah, now that I think about it. Yeah, I don't know.

I just I thought it was maybe I was subconsciously thinking of the drummer from Death Leopard. I don't know. Oh, yeah. Yeah. What does he? Okay. He don't know. Oh, yeah. Yeah. More to the- okay. He had one arm. Oh, yeah. I mean- Yeah.

Yeah, and maybe it would have to be a more simple beat, you'd think, because- Possibly. Like, majority of drummers have both feet and hands, two hands to use. But yeah, you listen to Death Leopard's song and it doesn't sound like he's operating with any less limbs than the maximum. They had to rig up some fancy stuff with the feet. Ah right, yeah. Oh my god, I want to purchase these candles you've come up with. I hope Yankee candles are listening because I reckon we're just doing their hard work for them right now.

Yeah, it's a funny name for Yankee candles and then they go and have these sort of floral names and scent. Well, I mean, it's a big range. I only read out one of them as you're going to hear, jeez, six very different, unique candles. Yeah, because Yankee does sound quite butch, doesn't it? It does. It sounds very sort of federation. Yeah.

Like the only reason they'd have candles is to burn down a barn. To be honest, I thought I could, I could say I could leave what I thought till the end, because you know, I like to expound. You tell us. You do. No, I, I thought Yankee candles, it's probably a trick question and it's fireworks because of Roman candles.

Ah, yeah, I like it. No, don't know, but then the description you gave said it sounds like they're genuine candles. Yeah. Oh, sorry, oh my God, you like it. I think they make a lot of candles. And Detective Quirk. Yeah, I know.

Strikes again. Are you still writing, Ben? Yeah. Okay Okay great. Sometimes the message, that sounded a bit pass ag. Yeah. Are you just texting? Sometimes the messages just don't, they don't come through. Well now we know the longest one, the one that will take you half an hour to read, is the one I'm guessing. Oh yeah, you don't care care which one's really just want to know. Yeah, for guessing my one's your head. I just know that whatever money you win from this, I would like some of that. This is a long game.

Great answer to Bron, you're good at coming up with really quick, good answers. Oh, God, I'm trying to remember like what was current in 2006. Yeah I tried that too but it didn't work out well for me. Yeah it doesn't you don't have to work don't necessarily have to get too bogged down in that. Yeah okay that's a good clue. I'm not saying the right answer I'm saying some of your options won't be that so it won't be it won't stand out like a sore thumb if you do a vague. If you get vague on it. Yeah because when I was writing fake ones I'm like 2006 where was I? I was backpacking and the two major news stories I could remember which I didn't use either of these were Brockie died and Steve Irwin died. Oh Steve Irwin died? Yeah.

Was that 2006? I believe so. It'd be close, I reckon it sounds- Cause I remember where I was- Was it 2009? And you know, memories fallible, of course. Was it like 2009 or 2010 or something? That's Michael Jackson in 2009, I remember where I was then too.

But that would also make the English news- It doesn't mean that Steve Irwin didn't die that year. No, true. One person can die a year. His death would make the terrible rag of the sun in England. September 2006, Steve Irwin died. Yeah, there you go.

Thank you, memory. But yeah, because it is totally like I until not that long ago, I thought if I remember it, it's right. But now, like, science is even more and more going, no, you can't really trust your memories. Not these days. Which is a crazy thing to have to think about.

Yeah, it calls a lot of things into question. Yeah. The witness process. Yes, exactly. Absolutely. You know? What a nightmare. Yeah.

Is it on tape? Why bother? Otherwise, why bother? AI can now make anything on tape. Oh, that's true. So that's gone. Yeah Ben you've got until a child finishes pissing to finish your answer. I Don't think anyone's ever said that before I've been you're fired They'll replace me with a new guest who gets everything wrong. It's not good. And they don't like the arts, let me tell you.

They have it in Dane Simpson, a comedian. He does the- The king. Yeah, he's so great. He runs the riverine, like the Wagga Wagga comedy festival, which is so great. When I was in, I was there a couple of years ago to get my haircut in the day. And the lady, I said- She drove all the way to- To get my hair. It's the best place to get your hair cut in the day and the lady I said I'm the lady. Drove all the way to. To get my hair cut.

It's the best place to get your hair cut is Wagga Wagga. And the lady said to me, oh, what are you doing in town? I said, I'm just, I'm here because it's the Wagga Wagga Comedy Festival and there's not a lot that goes on there. So you'd think that they would know. And she goes, oh, I sat on it at the moment. I said, yeah, are you going to go? And she goes, I wouldn't have thought so.

I said, oh, why not? She goes, I went last year. Oh, I already saw it. I saw it. Yeah, I wouldn't have thought so. I said, oh, why not? Because I went last year. I saw it. I've seen it. I said, it's every single, it's different. People are coming from like all over Australia. People like that in Melbourne. Melbourne Comedy Festival even, which is a lot bigger.

People still do that. And they'll say, oh no, yeah, I've already been. There's other, there's not just the one show. There's so many of them. That's upset me more than I'd like to hear. Oh really? But I said it goes. It's just like if it was a game of football.

Yeah, I'll go next week. Yeah. I'll go next year, of course. Yeah. Comedy's like, no, no, I went once. I had a laugh. Yeah. That wasn't for me.

I saw a comedian. Yeah, yeah, it wasn't me. I'm finished with that. Did you enjoy it? Yeah, it was great. Yeah, exactly. Even weirder. I said, so who'd you see?

Because I don't want to describe him. I feel uncomfortable describing him. And I was like, OK, was it Dane Simpson? And she goes, yeah, it was. No, that kind of uncomfortable. Yes. And I was like, he lives here. You could see him any Saturday. He runs a regular show.

Yeah. And he's fantastic. I said, was he good? She goes, oh, he's great. So not only did she say someone that lived in the town, but that was enough for her to see comedy for the rest of her life. Wagga Wagga. And for listeners who are confused by why that lady didn't want to describe him. I thought it was going to be because she hated and she didn't want to let you know, but it

was because she couldn't, she couldn't figure out how to say he was indigenous. Yes. Without saying something fucked. Yes, that's what I want. There you go. That's where he had his chode landstorm. Yeah. I can just see on stage, there was nothing there.

It was pretty full on. They should normally be more bulge and I'll normally focus in on that area. Tiny, tiny. He wore crotchless pants. Yeah. Just to show off his lance chode. He was revealed he wore crotchless pants. Yeah, just The end credits of this episode have just got a whole lot longer