Who Knew It with Matt Stewart - 150 - Jess Perkins, Dave Warneke and Connor Schmidt

Episode Date: July 28, 2025

Who Knew It with Matt Stewart is a comedy game show podcast hosted by Australian comedian Matt Stewart. To celebrate our 150th episode, this week's guests are original guests Jess Perkins and Dave Warneke plus our editor Connor Schmidt makes his first appearance! Check out Matt's new stand up special: http://bit.ly/BestManComedyAnd his last stand up special: https://youtu.be/cWStRpI-BhESupport the show via http://patreon.com/dogoonpod and you can submit questions for the show!See the podcast/Matt live: https://www.mattstewartcomedy.com/Check out Matt's podcast network: https://dogoonpod.com/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello mates, it's me, the titular Matt Stewart in the year 2025 to let you know that my new comedy special, Best Man, is now available to watch for free on the Humdinger YouTube channel. So you can go watch that now. Already getting a lot of nice comments, a lot of nice feedback. I really appreciate that. Now if you want to see me live, I'm touring my new show Bad Boy as well as this show who knew it was Matt Stewart doing a double header tour and yeah heading out on the road this week going to Brisbane, Sydney, Newcastle, Adelaide, Hobart and then over to the UK early September for Edinburgh, Cambridge, Birmingham, Manchester, Swansea, first ever gig in Wales and then

finishing up with a big show in London which is just about sold out by the way so if you want to grab tickets get on quick and I can't wait to see you there come say hi have a beer now let's get on with the show Welcome to Who Knew It with Matt Shure with the show where the guests write the wrong answers. I'm the titular Matt Shure and our first guest is the bass player from the band Weed Hornet. It's Dave Waterkey. Never stop rockin'. That's my motto for all the kids out there. Yeah, you never stopped.

As I'm wiping my glasses with a t-shirt to put on my face. That's pretty rock and roll, actually. Yeah, rock and roll. I haven't caught up with you about it in a while. Weed Hornet, are they still in hiatus? Uh, well, it was never discussed. Technically never broke up. OK. Kind of like the Korean War is still going, so.

Your band is kind of like the Korean War. That's what they say. Well, there you go. Our second guest this week is the biggest Do the Korean War. That's what they say. There you go. Our second guest this week is the biggest Dolly Parton fan in the Southern Hemisphere. It's Jess Perkins. Hello. Can you believe it, Jess? I don't know. Do you have any news from this morning? Oh, news from this morning. Let me think. Let me think.

I had some mango yogurt for breakfast. I had a coffee. I received a ticket to see Dolly Parton in Las Vegas later this year. What? Huge, huge, huge. Holy shit. Yeah. That is exciting. A little part of me, though, doesn't want to get too excited about it because like a

media hit or something, you know, like I'm so excited about it that surely something will go wrong. Last time we planned to go to America altogether, COVID happened. Yeah, so another pandemic could happen. And that we can say on record will be my fault. Yeah, that'd be entirely your fault. For daring to dream. Last time was all of our fault. Yes.

But this time, only you were going to. Just me. That's right. You guys are welcome to come. And thirdly, to celebrate episode 150, debuting on the show, it's the Who Knew It editor, Connor Schmidt. Woo! Hello, hello.

I don't know if I've ever- Very happy to be making my debut. I'm not sure if I've said your full name out loud before. Schmidt, you happy with that? Yeah, perfectly. I mean, I'm used to it by now. Yeah, no, very good. Wait, you said-

I'm happy with the name. You said it's perfect. And also, I'm used to it by now. You're used to people pronouncing your name perfectly. Perfect for for you to be outing my name to the audience. OK, yeah. Yeah. OK, I see what you're saying, because you would normally just the editor Connor. Oh, should I?

Connor, do you want to? You could bleep your surname. Yeah, yeah, you wanted to. Yeah, sure. I'll make a note You could bleep your surname. Yeah. Yeah, sure. I'll make a note. Can you bleep my surname as well? Hmm. Sure. I can bleep all everything you say, if you like. Yeah.

I'd like that too. This could be in real time. Robots will enjoy this episode. Oh, bleep, bleep. And a bleep, bleep, bleep. And Dave, before we get started in the show, we've got some big news. We've gone live, baby, with our stand up specials. They are online and free to watch right now on YouTube.

An hour from you and an hour from me. On the Humdinger YouTube page, which used to be the stupid old channel. Yeah, my show, Best Man, and your show... Even Hotter in Real Life. We'd love you to check them out. Comment, like them, those sort of things. Share it with a friend. Get it out there. That's not what we're here today for. We're here to play a game, a very important game.

So the way the show works is ask a relatively obscure trivia question. Our contestants have to write a convincing fake answer, I then read their answers, as well as the real one, and I have to write a convincing fake answer and then read their answers as well as the real one. And they have to guess which one is correct. And the first question comes from listener Colin Campbell from Malvern, Pennsylvania. And the question is, what does anasema mean? What does anasema mean? Did you lose your mind a little bit in that one?

Two different pronunciations there. Yeah. Are you happy with those, Connor? Well, I... Oh, perfect. The first one I read out, because I wrote this quiz a few days ago, and the first time I wrote it out was how I've written it out phonetically, and then I had to look at the real spelling, and there's an R in there, which seems to have gone missing in the phonetics.

Oh, that's very important. What is the R? So I'm like, yeah. Ana Siuma. No one wants to hear the spelling? Yeah I do. Yeah I want to know what the R is. A-N-A-S-Y-R-M-A. Siuma.

Ana Siuma. Good lord. While they're writing their answers I'll explain how the scoring works. So you get a point if your fake answer is guessed by one of the other contestants and another point if you correctly guess the answer. And by the way I'm also playing as the house and I've put in two of my own fake answers with the help of the question writers for each question and we get a point for each one of those that I guess choose. So each of us can score up to three points per

round which seems fair, but the probability actually favors me, the house and the house always wins. I've listened to previous episodes, you know that is not necessarily the case. But to even things up and maybe even to push things into the guest favour, they get triple points in the final round. Anyway most of our questions come from our great Patreon supporters. If you want to submit a question, sign up on any level via patreon.com slash do go on pod which is linked in the show notes. Oh and hey, well I've got you.

Why not follow us on Instagram or Facebook, etc. at who knew it pod started filming episodes the last few months and putting up a clip, at least a clip a week and also at most a clip a week. That's what I've done so far anyway. Who knows? Maybe one day we'll get a real rhythm and start doing double clip weeks. Double clip? Well, you've also been doing a thing where with the guests write the wrong answers,

but the the listeners get to write the video clip. You can get a vote on what they want to see. Dave, David, just to remind you, you're a guest on this podcast and not a co-host. I know when we come into this room and we're sitting in a different formation. So I thought maybe that would help rewire your brain. You just suggest just let Matt do his job. Did you not enjoy that alley-oop a little bit of part there? Let me be clear. I loved it.

I thought it was fantastic. I loved it and it was beautiful and you're a fantastic friend. But let Matt make his own mistakes. Let Matt alley-oop himself. I thought it was fantastic, Dave. And yeah, that's right. So Connor actually gives me a list of usually three bits that he thinks will make the best clips. And then I put those three up on social media and people tell me what they what they think.

And I think every week so far has been pretty unanimous. All right. Which is helpful. It's funny when you haven't done the I haven't heard the episode yet. And like this week, the one at the time recording, everyone is just commenting, yeah, the one where you bully Brett Blake. Bully Brett Blake. That's what this comment is saying. Yeah, I love you. I'd love to see the video of bullying Brett Blake. Yeah, yeah. He has a habit of bullying his guests, which is perfectly fine.

Is that true, do you think? I feel like that's not the case at all. I mean, look, it's not it's not to know physical bullying happens. So that's that's a good line. Yeah, I would have thought I'm confident that in that episode with Brett Blake, that was more the other guest. I'm more of a facilitator of the bullying at most. Yeah, you're a bystander.

Yeah. But you don't step in to stop it. Yeah, exactly right. Yeah, I remember being taught that by standing as just as worse. Yeah, by the final episode of Seinfeld. Yeah, that's when I learned it. Tommy what? You can go to jail for that.

All right, the answer in for question number one. What does anacema mean? A blood disorder categorised by low white blood cells resulting in low immunity. Option two. A Babylonian priest who predicted the future by examining their own urine. Option three. Scarring caused by prolonged picking of the nose. Option four. Maybe you want to do it. A Mediterranean ritual where a person lifts up their robe to expose their buttocks or genitalia. Option five, a phenomenon of biblical proportions.

OK. Can't be more specific than that. Or finally, blood clotting in the scrotum. Oh, oh. Um, jeez, we, uh, book ended with blood. Yeah, a couple of blood, couple of biblical, dare I say, too. Yeah, a couple of biblical, yeah. Yeah, the, uh, the urine, very biblical. Yes.

Biblical proportions. Yeah, what's the other? So one says biblical and other Babylonian priests. Yeah, I think that's pre-bible Babylonian. Yes, that's all that's old school. That's not Bible, that's Babel. And this and you are once again bullying. Yeah, goddamn.

And I apologize for that. Jess, do you want to have first crack? I'd love to hear them again, please. And I apologize for that. Jess, do you want to have first crack here? I'd love to hear them again, please. Sure. A blood order categorized by low white blood cells resulting in low immunity. A Babylonian priest who predicted the future by examining their own urine. I mean, I want it to be that. Scarring caused by prolonged picking of the nose.

A Mediterranean ritual where a person lifts up their robe to expose their buttocks or genitalia, a phenomenon of biblical proportions or blood clotting in the scrote. Sorry, was there something else there? You said um. So clearly you had another thought that you were just trying to get to. Oh yeah, um. Um. Look, what I like about playing this game with other people is watching them sort of

logic their way through it. That's not how I play the game. I play with my heart. Yep. Oh, my gut. Yep. My heart's in my gut. It's a medical condition.

It's called anisema. It's called haggis syndrome. So I'm going to go with what I want it to be. And that's the piss one. Okay. Piss, the piss one. Choose piss. Choose piss.

We all want it to be the piss one. We all want it, exactly right. And so, yeah, I'm going to just play aspirationally. Yeah, I think that's great. Yeah. Because between now and then, at the very least, it's real. That's, you know. That's right.

Schrodinger's box or whatever. Yeah, yeah. Does Schrodinger have a box? Yeah. He puts a cat in there. Oh, and no. Oh, yeah, yeah. So the box, we know the box is real.

We definitely know the box is there. We don't know if the cat's dead. Right. Okay, so you've locked in piss. I have. I was tempted by piss. And it's also my answer. That is good stuff.

No, I don't think it is, Connor. I don't think it is. Connor, don't say it is, Connor. I don't think it is. Connor, don't say it if you're not going to fucking mean it. That was... Ah, that was awful. We're getting an insight into the process here.

I reckon at home you're editing, you pause, and you say that to yourself. That's good stuff. Yeah, Connor, that's fine when you're sitting in an editing suite by yourself. But when you're talking to human people, you really have to give a little emotion. Do not have a lot of- that is a funny- do not talk to real human people very much. Yeah. Well you're doing it right now well you know I mean not I don't know if we're fully realized

not real humans but we're- yeah I mean what is a human? Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Well. So anisema I think I'm tempted by the nose picking one. I can see that as being a medical condition where your nose gets quite red. It does sound quite medical, yeah. Just going for it. So, I'm going to say the nose picking, please. All right, locking in nose for Dave. So, we've got piss, we've got nose.

Connor, what do you think? Sorry, can I have a quick rundown of them all again, please? Blood disorder, low immunity. Pre-examine their own piss. Nose scarring. Head priest. The pause that you have to do to try and silence it. It takes longer than just read and holding.

Let me just think of that with the key word here is Babylonian, poor piss. No, no, I should have said priest. Piss priest. But Dan, do you understand, Connor trims that down? I'm not saving you time. I'm saving the listener time. That's clever. So it's not all about you, Dave. Yeah, it should be, but OK.

Dave, again, you are a guest. That's why it should be about me. The Mediterranean ritual, lifting up the robe, but biblical proportion, phenomenon or blood clotting of the scrotum. I mean, look, I like how you do this show like it's a multiple choice quiz from school where there's always a couple that you just know. Like, no, there's no way it can be that. Yeah. But despite that, I am going to go for one of those.

Yeah. You've been around the show long enough to know that they're often the right answers in this. Yeah. So I am going to go for the Scrooge. Just because we've we've got we've got nose, we've got piss. Now it's time for the big three. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Absolutely. You put those three together, you got a full human. Ah, interesting definition of full human. Ah. Wow. Interesting definition of full there.

Nose, piss and scrope. All right, here's where we wrote the answers. The blood disorder, which results in low immunity, that was Jess Perkins. I love blood. I could see the blood there for sure. Yeah, it felt medical. It felt bloody. Yeah.

So I wanted it to sound like a real jargony sort of... If I could just walk you through my process. I'm sorry, the process started. The problem for me was it felt too real. I was going to say, if we played that with people who didn't know the show, that would have got all the votes. That was the best, like, dictionary. That was the only one that sounded real.

You guys ruined this for me. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. That's all I wanted. Phenomenon of biblical proportions. That was Connor. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. That's all I wanted. Phenomenon of biblical proportions. That was Connor. Oh, that's good. What were you, what kind of phenomena were you picturing there?

Well, I mean, something of biblical proportions, probably. I tried, the word sounded very biblically and, you know, I was proven right, obviously, because there's a second option in there. But, you know, I tried to go maybe a little too vague on that one. You know, I tried to go maybe a little too vague on that one, you know. I liked it. Yeah, but I mean, it could be like, yeah, it could be a vague term for phenomenon, big phenomena. Words are vague.

You've ever heard a non-vague word? I don't think so. Connor went for blood cloning of the scrotum. That was the house, I'm afraid. Oh gosh, I was also tempted by that too, I must say. Well, that makes sense, Dave, because you picked the other house one scarring caused by prolonged picking of the nose.

That was the house and Colin combining their powers. Really? That's a good one. Did you do picking heated nose? Yeah. That was going to go for wedgie, but then he thought, I'll go nose. Well, I can find out if you're really interested.

Nah, it's okay. Dave's like, let's move this along. Did you're really interested. No, it's OK. Dave's like, let's move this along. Did you want to think about it, Dave? What the hell? Because the way Colin pitched this term, this question was a little different. He said, what does the word mean and what effects

did people attribute to it? And he wrote, prolong picking of your nose, which increased the likelihood you would have triplets. I took out that last bit. Oh, wow. So really it was basically added scarring. You edited it. I edited it.

Yeah, that's great. It's good editing, because I thought it felt real. It felt real. Babylonian priests who predicted the future by examining their own urine just went for, that was Dave Perkins, Dave Wannakee. Congratulations. Oh no. You've helped been happy now, Kratos.

We had a joy to be here for this momentous occasion. Of course you wrote the piss one. Thank you for believing in piss. Oh, I didn't. Thank you for believing in it. I didn't, I just wanted it to be true, you know? This is my- He knew that you would.

Yeah. My process was, Asima, that kind of sounds like the Assyrian Empire. That's too obvious. I'll take it back. I'll take it to Babylonia. And then I'll chuck in a bit of piss. God, you're a fucking nerd.

I mean, I finished with piss. I'm hardly high bro. Piss nerd. And it fell right into Jess Piskin's lap. That's right. No one went for the correct answer. A Mediterranean ritual where a person lifts up their robe to expose their buttocks or genitalia.

That felt like the joke one. Yeah, and that's just mooning. Yeah, and the fact that it happened enough for there to be a word for it is... And Mediterranean just felt too vague. Yeah, yeah. It's a big part of the world, a lot of languages going on there.

Yeah, how are they all exposing themselves to each other? Yeah, and they all know, they can't say any words to each other except for a sema, they go, yeah, I know what that is. Maybe we shouldn't judge, it's, you know, different culture. Different time. They do it, they're like, maybe it's cool there,

maybe people love it. Well, Colin quotes from Wiki saying, many historical references suggest that an seema had dramatic or supernatural effects, positive or negative. Pliny the Elder wrote that a menstruating woman who uncovers her body can scare away hailstorms, whirlwinds and lightning. If she strips naked and walks around a field of wheat, caterpillars, worms and beetles fall off their heads. Even when not menstruating she can lull a storm out at sea by stripping." So it was pretty powerful. Wow.

Have you ever seen a worm fall off their head? Yeah. These are the kind of things that modern science just can't explain. Yeah, right. Dave, does it help if I come clean and say that I didn't say that right? Oh damn. And it was the Beatles fall off the heads, the heads of the of the field of wheat I guess. Oh. But yeah I thought I'm like I'll get away with that no one will no one will bring it up. Really? That was weird. You thought with this group of people you'd get away with anything? Yeah the most persnickety group in town. That's us, the Perkins's. Jess and Dave Perkins. The unhinged shippers have finally gotten their wish.

So Dave gets a point, the house gets two points, and we move on to question two, which comes from Lars van Coveden from Utrecht in the Netherlands. And this one is, Jess, this was your favourite question from back in the early days when we started this. And it's meant that we do this question too every week, some version of it. And this week it is, gotta name a fake species of bird. Yes!

Oh, wow, that's where that came from. Excellent, I loved it. It used to be, we'd do it every now and then, Jess was like, she'd request it when she was coming on, can you do the fake bird or fish question? And since then we've done, there's like fake flowers, fake mushrooms. I've already got it, I've already answered.

Wow. Well, Jess, then you might like to hear a little bit more about Anasema. Okay, but I'm not gonna alley-oop you at all. Thank you, just listen please. According to folklore, women lifted their skirts to chase off enemies in Ireland and China. A story from the Irish Times from the 23rd of September 1977 reported a potentially violent

incident involving several men, which was averted by a woman exposing her generals to the attackers. According to Balkan folklore, when it rained too much, women would run into the fields to lift their skirts to scare the gods and end the rain. In Jean de la Fontaine's painting Nerveux Compte from 1674, a demon is repulsed by the side of a woman lifting her skirt. Associated carvings, called chille and a gigs, were common on medieval churches in Northern Europe and the British Isles. I have two things to say. So you know how like rain starts and then rain inevitably stops?

So the rain would just stop and they would be like, thanks women. You did it. It's the kind of thing. Yeah. Finally. What are they? What are they? What's that thing? Something doesn't equal something causality doesn't make causality and causation.

Yeah. It's one of those things. Um, I fucking hate that I knew what that was. I loved it. I loved it. My other helpful. My other comment is this sounds absurd. Like you hear that and you go women would show their genitals and scare people off.

But if I suddenly ripped my pants off and ran at you, you guys would be pretty freaked out. I'd be out of here so quick. You wouldn't be wanting to check if I was having some sort of episode. The car would be started. You would end up with the tires screeching. Just comes to. Oh, sorry, what happened? Oh my gosh.

Somebody needs to take me to the hospital. They're all gone. Um, alright. Answers are in for question number two. Which is? Which of these are real species of bird? Grand Boothpecker. Rufous-bre Leaf Tosser. Magnificent Fleeting Urge. Gross headed tit.

Fat headed shoveler. Or the cheesy Belford. I'm going fat headed shoveler. Straight in. Off the bat. It's not even my turn to go first. I'm going fat headed shoveler. Straight in. Off the bat. It's not even my turn to go first. I'm going for it. Just letting you know for where it is my turn. Yes, we'll come back around maybe.

Maybe I'll change my mind. Who knows what Dave and Connor might say. Okay, one more time quickly. Grand Boothpecker. Rufus Breasted Leaf Tosser. Magnificent Fleeting Urge. Gross headed tit. Fat headed shoveler. Orificent fleeting urge. Gross headed tit. Fat headed shoveler.

Or the cheesy Belford. Because gross could mean big. It's got a really big head or something. Yes. Or yeah, it could be before, you know, taxes taken out or whatever. Yeah, exactly right. Yeah. And same with Rufus. Yeah, that could mean nearly anything. Yeah. Rufus headed. Was that it? That was one of those Rufus headed. Rufus. Yes. That could mean nearly anything. Yeah.

Rufus Headed. Was that it? Rufus Breasted. Rufus Breasted. Probably colour thing, right? Yeah. Rufus would be like a type of red. Yeah. You know, like that one that Rufus made famous. Yeah, Rufus. Rufus, the character from Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure played by

a legendary comedian. I'm blanking on his name. That guy, that guy who did all the things. Yeah. Seven words you can't say on television. Atheist guy. Jerry Seinfeld. That's the one. I'm thinking Grand Booth Pecker.

Like it. Yeah. I can imagine that bird. I'm looking at it. You were looking at me. Yeah, that's what he said. No, he means bird like little animal. You are a grand buff. George Carlin for those yelling at their iPods.

There we go. So Dave you're going for gross-headed tit, is that what you said? No, grand buff pekka. Grand buff pekka, sorry. Thank you. Are you sure you don't want to change to the gross headed tip. I really like it. I mean, I like all of these. They're great.

Very good. But what a menagerie. Given you nothing for that. I thought you were frozen. No, you just didn't deserve anything. Yeah, no. They are all some damn good options, but I'm having a real fleeting urge to go for. Yes. The magnificent fleeting urge.

Yeah, that's very good. We've all been there. I mean, how do you think I've ended up with Dolly Parton tickets? It was a magnificent fleeting urge. All right. Well, her hair is so big. That's a grand buff. Yes. Big time.

Yeah. And what would be the pecker? Certainly not a gross head. Certainly not a gross head. And nose, I guess, would be the pecker. Yeah. All right. Here's the answers.

The cheesy Belford. That was Dave Ornike. Yeah. Is that, is this just sort of like free, freewheeling in the mind or did you have some logic behind that? I started with the Assyrian Empire. I was thinking, I don't know. Belford came to me and then I was going to call it something else. But then I thought, I think I was going to go with greasy.

But I thought, no cheesy. Sure. Yeah, because you're imagining a little yellow bird. Yeah. Yeah, I like it a lot. And also, Dave, I'm doing this show live at the Bedford Pub in London on the 13th of September. Ah, that's what I was thinking about. Yes. That's it.

Really set him up there. I'm always thinking about the plugs for you and your shows. Yeah, I'm thinking about plugging a couple of holes of yours, you boys. Jesus Christ. Sorry. Gross headed tit. That was Jess Perkins.

I started with tit. I thought there has to be a tit in this. They've always got, they're always headed or breasted. And the first word I thought of, gross. Yeah. What does that say about present company? I'm not sure. Yeah, I don't know. Gross could mean large.

Could mean large. I thought it was great gameplay there. I always try to do that at least once. Trick somebody into choosing mine. I've done it. And I won't do it again. I thought you were going for the, what was it, the roof-est one?

Seemed like you were really pitching that. Yeah, I was. But no, it wasn't even yours. I know. I'm very good at this, Connor. Jess went for the fat headed shoveler. That was Connor. Yes, that's good.

Now walk us through the process. What did you start with? Connor. Jess went for the fat headed shoveler. That was Connor. Yes, that's good. Uh. Now walk us through the process. What did you start with? Shoveler? Well, no, I started with fat, actually. Ah, yes. Much how you started with tit. I started with fat.

And I know of shoveler to be a real type of bird somehow. I don't know why. Is it really? Yeah, I don't know. Well, you should really enter that as a question. Okay, sure. I don't know of any particular shovelers. I just know that it's a type of bird.

I wonder if there's a way to find out. And I'd like to see a fat-headed one. Me too. Yeah. I wonder if it's a real bird. Let me have a quick check here. You might've stumbled upon, and then Jess would have to get a point. I'd have to.

Or I'd throw a little tantrum. The term this is AI. The term fat headed shovel likely refers to the North and shovel a duck. Yes. Known for its large distinctive spoon shaped. AI just thinks that this this duck has just got a fat head. Yeah. No, I think AI is. I don't know if anyone else has noticed it, but it's not that reliable But it is it's funny that Google makes it just it gives you AI straight up the top. Mm-hmm. Good service. Yes

Grand Booth packer Dave went for that. That was the house. I'm afraid Well done. Thank you so much pecker. I, I think, you know, Bird's Peck. You know, we all got the Pekka one, yeah. Grand Boof. Yes. Boof being... Nobody asked for your process. Darren Lehman's nickname. Oh, really? OK, yes.

Good one. I just wanted to add a little even more gravitas to the word boof, if possible. Yeah. You're really putting a hat on a hat there, though. Connor went for the magnificent fleeting herbs. That was Lars, the questioner, aka the house, meaning no one got the answer. It was Rufus Breasted Leaf Tosser. What? Really?

Rufus Breasted Leaf Tosser. Yes. So great. That's so funny. Rufus. Leaf tosser. Yeah, I'm looking it up. It's good stuff. Oh, leaf toss is all one.

Yeah, it's just a little brown bird. Hmm. That's good. Like it's a cute little bird, but it's not. Yeah, it probably doesn't quite live up to the name, does it? No. So the Rufus is just like a slightly brown, like lighter brown. It's rusty, rusty, orangey. Yeah. So maybe Rufus is just like a slightly brown, like lighter brown. Rusty, rusty, orangey.

Yeah. So maybe Rufus is an orangey colour. Hmm. Yeah. It's a great name for a colour. Or a girl or a boy. I'd like to see it tossing some leaves though. No pictures here of it tossing leaves. Yeah. I want to see it in action. Is tossing leaves related to tossing salads, do we think?

Cool. Yeah, I think maybe they invented the first salad. Yeah. So would there be a bird out there called an egg scrambler? Yeah, I think so think maybe they invented the first salad. Yeah, so would there be a bird out there called an egg scrambler? Yeah, I think so. I hope so a Crouton a crouton flutterer, you know these bears exist no doubt Alright question three comes from Tamara Potts from Perth in Western Australia Hey neighbor of yours perhaps Connor a published author tomorrow as well Connor. You remember hey, hey, neighbor of yours, perhaps, Connor. A published author tomorrow as well, Connor, you remember that? Yes, that's right. No, she she is very well spoken. So when I found out she was an author was not so well written as well.

You don't you don't speak what you might do speech to text. That might be how she writes. I don't know. Modern age, modern age. Anyway, tomorrow's question on the the 24th of October 1852, naturalist Charles Darwin wrote a letter to his second cousin W.D. Fox. What is one of the memorable lines from it? So, Charles Darwin wrote a letter to his second cousin, just shooting the shit, back in 1852. What's a memorable line from that letter? Hey Jessica, you've got yours in quick. Well, Dave and Conner are still writing. I can tell you about the

Rufus Breasted Leaf Tosser. Please. This is according to Lars. This little ovenbird, which is like the broader family of birds I believe, is described as having an upper breast that is dull, rufous brown. Oh my God. Rufous. And that just means reddish brown. Man, it's, you know those times when a word makes it sound more impressive than it is? Yeah. It's reddish brown. We could really...

Rufous. ...zoosh that up to rufous. I also wish I was the type of person who just really had a brain or had put a lot of work into like etymology. I feel like Andy Matthews is one of those to sort of be like, well, okay, so rufous could come from rufous. just really had it had a brain or had put a lot of work into like etymology. I feel like Andy Matthews is one of those to sort of be like, well, OK, so Rufus could come from Rufessent. So, you know, yeah.

Whereas I'm just like, ha, that's funny, stupid name. Well, I think it works better for the show. If people are picking it apart, God. Well, Rufessent, that makes sense because a leaf tosser, that's a bird that tosses leaves. How does he figure it out? Wow. It's Berlin Flanks, a dark olive, olive, a leaf tosser. That's a bird that tosses leaves How does he figure it out? Wow? It's Bellin flanks a dark Olivaceous Brown with chestnut tones, which is a very nice way to describe what honestly is one of the most boring birds

I've ever seen. It's pretty dull. It's a pretty dull little brown bird I wouldn't see that, you know landing on my balcony and go You know, you know when that happens sometimes you see a bird and you go, look at that bloody bird. Yeah. That I wouldn't do that to a to Rufus. No offense. But you're not impressive. So many great names I've learned about birds in the show. And I reckon it's probably less than 50 percent live up to the name.

You look them up and like, oh, oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. 100 percent. You're like, this is going to be an absolute beauty. Oh, oh, OK. Same with the fish. Yeah, whoever names these birds just really wants to get the good name in there. Yeah, they're PR in it for sure. Oh, yeah. Mmm. PR, HR, no.

Yeah, they're PR in it. PR in it. OK. Here is question number three. What did Charles Darwin write to his second cousin W.D. Fox in 1852? A seagull stole many of my chips. So I caught and ate him and the chips ended up in my belly all the same. Option one. That's good. Option two.

I hate a barnacle as no man ever did before. Option three. Dear Fox. Option four. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha and couldn't get out of it for an hour. Option five, cousin, you are so foul smelling that I wager you have evolved from a fart. For being the evolution guy, that's so great. He knows his thing. Well, finally, Adam and Eve. Adam and Eve-olution more like it.

OK, Dave Warnocky was typing for quite a while. And when he stopped, he kind of like, he kind of groaned at himself. Like he wasn't too happy. So, yeah. Well, you got yours off real quick, Jess. And sure did. There is one in there that is literally two words. No, but you have to remember Connor.

I'm a very quick typist. Okay. Well, you've got your accreditation in typing. Yes, I've got a certificate I could show you. All right, Connor, you're up first. Here are your options. Seagull stole many Omi chips. I hate a barnacle as no man ever did before. Dear Fox, I fell in a fish tank, couldn't get out for an hour. Cousin, you're so foul smelling. You've evolved from a fart or Adam and Eve Adam and evolution more like it. I Do like the evolved from a fart thing because I'm like if it's after he's published his paper On evolution. He's like this is my thing now. I'm gonna live up to it So when I'm gonna gonna roast my cousin real harm and do it my way going to live up to it. So when I'm going to, I'm going to roast my cousin real hard and do it my way.

But I do think that this falling into a tank of fish feels more letter worthy. Like if I fell into a tank of fish and I was living in that time, I'd be writing a letter to everybody I know and telling them about the time I fell into a tank of fish. Couldn't get out. There's no one help you. Yeah. Well, you might have been home alone. Yeah. okay, he's home alone in a big tank.

That's a very big tank if you can't get out at all. I am imagining a real big tank of fish. Like aquarium size. Yeah, I was picturing it smaller than him and he fell on backwards into it. Oh, yes, his butt is stuck in it, Can't get out. Yeah. Just a little goldfish bowl. Yeah. His head is stuck on there upside down. Yes, exactly. But it's not clear.

And maybe no one knows, you know, unless he if he attached a photo with it, maybe. So lock that in. Conor, what do you think, Jess? I want to go for the fish and chips one, the seagull one. Yeah, it's very witty to say I ate them anyway. Yeah. Lock that in for Jess, what do you think? And the second one, the barnacles.

I hate a barnacle as no man ever did before. I have this vague memory of reading once that he spent something like 20 years of his life examining mollusks and barnacles and that kind of stuff. So I can imagine after the 10th year, you fucking hate these things. But also, Dave, I mean, I just want to point out that, you know, it is a letter.

And what how would you start a letter? You'd probably address it to somebody. So if there's something that like, you know, you get, because the point that what Matt's asking is which of these definitely appeared in the letter. Oh yes. Could we get you on the technicality there, Matt? We went back through the archives. Yeah.

And found out if he did indeed write, dear Fox. Dear Fox. Is he writing to a Fox or a person called Fox? W.D. Fox. It's not clear. Is it his second cousin? I don't know if that's far enough to it would be a different species. I've got a couple of second cousins. A few foxes, eh? All right. Connor, keep it in your pants. It is legal.

It is legal. He can marry those foxy second cousins that Connor has. Things can be legal that you don't necessarily, that you shouldn't be doing. Yeah. What do you get up to in WA? That's your own business. Yeah. No, we are. Maybe they should have succeeded from the first.

The Shelbyville of Australia. Marry up cousins. I'm going to lock in Barnacle, please. Okay, coward. Locked in Barnacle. But obviously, Dear Fox is what I wanted to lock in. You got to shame people into choosing your own. Honestly, yeah, I've just looked it up and the letter starts with,

my dear Fox. So you would have got a point there if you didn't go that way. That was Jess who wrote that. God, I'm a fool. I looked it up thinking, well, it's not, it's going to be something different. It's going to be dear William or something. I know, because I heard Fox. And then when you read the question again later and I realized his first name was not

Fox, I was like, oh, no. But you're right, my dear Fox. Well done. All right. What else have we got here? Adam and Eve, more like Adam and evolution. That was the house. I don't recall writing it, but I stand by it. It's good stuff.

I wager you evolved from a fart, that was Connor. Connor! Man, that was good stuff. That was very good stuff. Thank you, very good. I think I tried to sell a bit too hard, you know? No, no, no, that was... I loved it.

That was really good. Thank you. Hey, just because they're not buying doesn't mean you weren't doing a great job selling. That's right. Oh, wow. That's what I used to tell myself when I was in the air conditioning biz.

Yeah, well and how did that go for you? Yeah, I'm my mate of living for a few years. It's a great bar. I fell in a fish tank and I couldn't get out. That was Connor's guess, but that was Dave Warnocky. Yes. What? Nii Perkins.

I didn't. Yeah, we have since split. Oh shit. I typed for so long because I came up with like four different options. That's why I just went, no, that's like, I'm trying to get to the edge. I'm like, Jesus, I'm in here. That's an empty fish tank. Yeah. There was fish and water in there. I'm like, I'm going to go get some water.

I'm like, I'm going to go get some water. I'm like, I'm going to go get some water. I'm like, I'm going to go get some water. I'm like, I'm going to go get some water. I'm like, I'm going to go get some water. I'm like, I'm going to go get some water. I'm like, I'm going to go get some water. I'm like, I'm going to go get some water.

I'm like, I'm going to go get some water. I'm like, I'm going to go get some water. I'm like, I'm going to go get some water. I'm like, I'm going to go get some water. I'm like, I'm going to go get some water. I'm like, I'm going to go get some water. I'm like, I'm going to go get some water. I'm like, I'm going to go get some water. I'm like, I'm going to go get some water. I'm Jesus, I'm in here. That's an empty fish tank. Yeah. Oh, it's empty.

There was fish and water in there. He just couldn't get it out of the edge. So he's treading water for an hour. The glass was too clean. He couldn't see where it was. Oh, bang into a wall. They find him dead, floating in there with just like nail marks in the glass.

And they know he just couldn't get it. But Connor's right, that is worthy of a letter. He'd write that. You'd tell people about that. Oh wow. Would you be too ashamed? I think in time I could tell people, but yeah, not initially, but in time I'd be like... You've got to let yourself settle.

Alright, there was this pretty funny thing that happened. Okay. I might be like, all right, there was this pretty funny thing that happened. Yeah. All right. Okay. Jess went for the seagulls, stull, stull, maniomy chips. That was Tamara in the house. Hats off. That was good. Tamara wrote, seagulls gave me terrible stomach cramps and I, you know, I told a bit more

of a story. Yeah, in a poetic way. You brought in the chips. Yeah, I loved it. You thought you would punch up a published author. I know. I know. Yeah.

Yeah, what was I thinking? But, you know, it got us the point. Yeah, yeah, I know. And that means Dave is correct. It is, I hate a barnacle as no man ever did before. I thought that was such a funny thing. It's ridiculous. What a, like, the most banal thing to hate.

It's probably true, because no one else has ever even thought about it, mate. No one's had an opinion on barnacles before, mate. The full quote, he says, I mean, the letter's quite long and he- Full quote is, uh, dear Fox, I hate a barnacle. He said, I hate a barnacle as no man ever did before, not even a sailor in a slow sailing ship. That's nice Although I do think I should get a point because my line was technically in the letter David Connor, what do you think if you're happy with Jessica and point? I'm happy. I've not got a single point Yeah, I'm super happy with that because you know, you were right

You were down as a pity point. It will be a pity point. Yeah Or question number four comes from Riley Ness from South You think it was down as a pity point? It will be a pity point. Oh yeah, that's all I want. Yeah. Question number four comes from Riley Ness from South Elgin or Elgin in Illinois. The question is what cryptid? You boo? Sorry, I'm supposed to hate people from Illinois because I'm a, my baseball team is in Milwaukee, so I'm supposed to hate people from Illinois. Okay. Well, you gotta do what you're supposed to do

Yeah, actually mandated boo. Yeah, I mean he's marrying his cousins because it's not technically illegal I'm fine and he's booing people from Illinois. Yes supposed to yes You are making it real hard for me to cut out that cousin fucking So So, Riley's question is, what cryptid terrorised the Blue Ridge Mountains in the United States? So we're going to want the name and, you know, a bit of a short description of the cryptid. For the listeners who don't know, cryptids like Loch Ness Monster, you know, they're animals that some people think exists and they're just very hard to find. Bigfoot's another famous example, the Yeti, the

Mothman, these sort of things. While you're writing your answers, here's a little more info about Charles Darwin's Barnacle Gripe. Here's the full paragraph from the letter. I'm at work on the second volume of the Serapedia. Of which creatures I am wonderfully tired. I hate a barnacle as no man ever did before. Not even a sailor and a slow sailing ship. My first volume is out. The only part worth looking at is of the sexes of Iblah and scalpelum. I hope by next summer to have done with my tedious work. Turns out he had not done it. It was still years away. Unfortunately for poor old Charles Tamara writes down like to complain a lot in his letters other complaints include quote I loathe I abhor the sea and all ships which sail on it and

I hate myself. I hate clover and I hate bees and I'm very poorly today and very stupid and hate everything and hate everybody and everything and kind of little description of it as well you know for instance you'd say Bigfoot an ape-like man. Oh we're doing doing descriptions. Yeah, he said that very clearly. Hence, I've just sent off Matt to you Thank you so much. My name and description. Thanks so much, Jess.

Because we got one of these and two of these, boys. Okay? Can't bloody, you know, boys can't multitask. Matt, can I have a point for listening? Dave and Connor, are you cool with can I have a point for listening? Dave and Connor you cool with that a listening point for just they weren't listening so they they don't know what they're going to know I'll give you a point. I'm sorry. I can't hear you. I'm not listening. Sorry. I'm running my answer Okay, another pity point for Bob With just the two pity points the scores are currently Connor on one point just on on two points, Dave on three points, but Anne front on five points. It's the house. Alright, while you're still writing your answers, let's go for a quick break.

Alright, we're back in the answer room for question number four. What cryptid terrorised the Blue Ridge Mountains in the United States? Here are your options. The Oklahoma Hangman, a ten-foot tall foot tall rake thin humanoid with elongated rope like limbs that move silently but with deceptive speed. That's super scary. Option two. The Bashful Blue Ridge Bastard. A tall lanky monkey that inhabits the trees of the area known for peeking out at locals

only to blush and flee from eye contact. That's quite cute. Option three the Snallygaster looks like a cross between a tiger and a vampire with enormous wings a long sharp beak steel claws and an eye in the middle of its forehead. There's a lot going on in that one. A tiger mixed with a vampire with wings. But I loved how it sort of formed in my mind as you were describing it. Like it sort of started transforming. I'm not sure it did in my mind. Oh, now it's got wings.

Now it's got an eye in the middle of the head. Wow. I don't know if it got that from the vampire or the tiger. What was it called? Snail-y-gaster. It doesn't match such a terrifying sounding thing. That's a cutesy name. Yeah.

We've got the fox man. A human-sized fox. Who has been cutesy name. Yeah. We've got the Foxman, a human-sized fox who has been seen walking on hind legs and was blamed for the death of a local livestock. Whoa. The Foxman. Foxman. That sounds pretty good.

Option. That sounds real to me. And real. Yeah. Option five, the big bad sheep of West Virginia. Like a wolf in sheep's clothing, this beast is woolly like a sheep, but three times the size with large horns, red eyes and a big sharp tooth snarl. Or finally, furry Michael, a mountain dwelling, hair covered humanoid, often found diving in dumpsters.

So you've got. I think that's just a man that people have seen. Jess, we're back to you. You got the Oklahoma hangman. No, I'm good. Ferry Michael. Thank you so much. Ferry Michael? Locked in?

Yeah, you can read the others for the others. Because it's from Illinois, is that right? Often seen in Illinois. Blue Ridge Mountains. But did you say Illinois? Illinois, the question on it. Oh, okay, because I was like you say Illinois? Illinois, the question. Oh, okay, because I was like, people are saying West Virginia, Oklahoma, I'm like,

what? Okay, that really has changed my mind. Again, listening. Yeah, come on, switch on. Can I have them all again, please? The Oklahoma hangman, the bashful Blue Ridge bastard, the snallygaster, the fox man, the big bad sheep of West Virginia.

Or Fairy Michael. The one that scared me the most is the Hangman. That is so scary. Spooky. That's the one I least like to come- actually, I mean, the one I'd least like to come across is that awful monster, the vampire. The Snailigaster. Yeah, that Snailigaster sounds fucked up.

I didn't want to put it out of its misery. Yeah. It's just writhaster, so that's fucked up. I didn't want to put it out of its misery. It's just riding around in pain. Kill me! Please! Yeah, that's awful, but I've got to go with the hangman, please. All right, lock in hangman. That leaves just Connor.

The Snelligaster, like Dave said, it kept building and building. And I feel like maybe that's, you know, after so many decades of cryptids being around, you've got the simple ones, you've got the, you've got the Loch Ness. Whoever, you know, saw or came up with this one thought, all right, I really got to fucking go all out here. Yeah. I want my cryptid to, you know, break through the zeitgeist. I got to I got to really pile on.

OK, I'm going to go for that one. Great. All right. Here's who wrote the answers. The big bad sheep of West Virginia. That was Riley and the house. It's like a sheep but really big. That's scary. The Fox, man. This might surprise some. That was Jess Birkins. I was so tempted by that. Can you believe it? Because it's a fox but it's also a man. It's human size. And it walks on hind legs. I think it's a sick one. I think it should be. And it's crazy because a fox was from the answer before too.

Yes. I had not connected that. I thought you might've been thinking about Jeff Foxworthy. I'm always thinking about Jeff Foxworthy, yes. Is that what you professional comedians call a callback? No. No. Sorry.

No, that's a coincidence. Oh, the bashful Blue Ridge bastard. That was Connor. Oh, very good. That's very good. Just when the ration in there, just went for fairy Michael, which before I double check with Dave was written as fury Michael. That was the good too. I think that's pretty good. Fury Michael. That was the- That'd be good too.

I think that's pretty good. Fury Michael. I'm like just double checking, is it Ferry or Fury? No, I think it's Ferry Michael. I love it. Oh no, it's Ferry Michael. Yeah. Ferry Michael's back.

Oh, he's in the bins. Get out of there, Ferry. Oh, Ferry Michael. Michael. Furious Michael's pretty good too though. Furious Michael. I like that too. Furious Michael. I like that too. Furious Michael.

The Oklahoma hangman, Dave went for that. That was Riley in the house. That was terrifying. Riley came up with a name. What a great name. And then I just, you know, I just, I reckon you filled in the rest. It wrote itself after that name. You know, you should go into horror writing because that was terrifying.

It's also kind of ridiculous. Rope like limbs. Mm. But yeah, the silent moving, but quick moving, I think. Oh, I mean, I really just borrowed a bunch of tropes that already exist, but still, I put them together. Mm. Isn't that that's part of it, right?

Yeah, sure. I don't know about the rope like limbs. I think that might be mine. Yeah. You're trying too hard for this now. Stop, stop digging. Yeah, sure. I don't know about the rope-like limbs. I think that might be mine. Yeah. You're trying too hard for this now. Stop stop digging. Yeah, just relax. Connor, can you edit out the bit where I was trying too hard?

It's really desperate. I need listeners to think, nay, no, that I'm cool. And that means Connor is correct. It is the Snallygaster. What? That was crazy. That wild mix of bibs and bobs. Bibs and bobs.

It sounds like two local footy teams merged, you know, and they fought over the mascot. Yeah. The Broughton vampires merged with the Balmain Tigers or something. And we. Can you describe it one more time?

I want to hear the description one more time. Crossed between a tiger and a vampire with enormous wings a long sharp beak Steel claws and an eye in the middle of its forehead fuck. It's gonna pay and it's a vampire and a tiger Yeah, what are you talking about? How was a how you suck and blood with a beak? You know, yeah, where did the beak come from? Yes, it's not really one of the crosses the logistics of this Yeah, it sounds like it has everyone who sees it describes it

differently. That was just one guy who saw it described in that way. That guy was on acid. Yeah, and it was Fairy Michael. Get out of it, Fairy. Fairy licked a few tabs you've had in the bin. All right. So what does that mean?

Dave gets a point. Connor gets a point. The house gets a point. Where are we at with points? To the house. We are at. With two rounds to go, Jess and Connor on two points, Dave's on four points,

but out in front on six points, it's the hoes. Six! Wow. All right. The penultimate question comes from Martin Drabbick-Hamshare from Sandusky, Ohio. The question is, what was the headline in The Guardian on the 24th of July 2022? What was the headline in The Guardian on the 24th of July 2022? Does it say which Guardian? Doesn't say. Probably Guardian Online. Is that, are they all different Guardians

Online as well? Yeah, it's like the Guardian Australia in the UK. Right. There might be one in Sandusky. Maybe. I can't even remember the answer to the questions to be honest. Okay. Oh yeah that's it. Nice hint there. While you're writing your answers, here's some more info on the Snalligaster. For Atlas Obscura, Colin Dickey writes, the name appears to have derived from the German Schnellgist, or quick ghost, I think I've nailed that,

a term that usually denotes some kind of poltergeist. In the 19th century, western Maryland saw a flood of German immigrants who settled there as the Seneca people were pushed farther west. They brought their folklore and superstitions, both ghosts and the belief that mountains were inhabited by dragons. The Snelligaster is difficult to define, a baffling mixture of body parts and features that seem to change based on who's telling the story.

When its existence was first reported in 1909 in the Valley Register, the newspaper published out of Maryland's Frederick County, it was described as having quote, enormous wings, a long pointed bill, claw-like steel hooks and an eye in the centre of its forehead. In the century since, descriptions have varied tending toward the elaborate. T.S. Maart and Mel Cabers, a guide to sky monsters, lists it as, quote, half reptile, half bird, with a tentacle-like tongue and sharp teeth. And Ed Okunowicz's 2012 Monsters of Maryland, Mysterious Creatures in the old line state, describes it as having sharp talons made of hot glowing metal and possessing several octopus like tentacles. So yeah

but it sounds like it was made up or you know made up or possibly discovered soon after the Jersey Devil got really popular and one of the newspapers like oh we could do something with this We need our own one. Unlike some other cryptids, the Snelligaster's origins are easy to trace though. In early 9909, some strange tracks left in the snow outside a New Jersey home led to a furor over the Jersey Devil, now a beloved member of the Pantheon of American cryptids. The story quickly gained national traction and Maryland based journalists it seemed wanted in on the action. Less than a month after the Jersey Devil sightings began, the Valley Register ran a story about

a man named Bill Gifferson who had been walking home when a winged creature attacked him, carried him up to a hill, slashed his jugular with its beak, drained his blood and finally dumped his lifeless body in a ravine. A flurry of other stories and sightings followed. And he survived. No, I think he was not a real person. I think they might've just. Oh, okay.

I just got to say that just seems like a very wild cover story for a murder. Yeah. Well, maybe it's what it was. It's just a man murdered. Um, apparently they included one report of a man who happened upon the snail gas stairs. It was draining a hundred gallon tub of water After which it exclaimed the snail gas exclaimed apparently my I'm dry

I haven't had a good drink since I was killed in the Battle of Chickamauga As though the fearsome dragoness creature was somehow the ghost of a dead Civil War soldier This went on until July when a final dispatch from the Valley Register described a scientific expedition to discover the nocturnal monster's lair, whereupon it erupted from the ground and flew off to Virginia. And Riley writes, it was rumored that former President Theodore Roosevelt postponed a diplomatic trip to Europe so he could go hunt the elusive Snallagaster. There you go. If anyone could get it.

Yeah. Old, old teddy. Wow. The answers are in for question number five. What was the headline in the Guardian on the 24th of July, 2022? Option one, local dog wins Merrill seat. Option two, woman discovers ancient pottery in back garden theorized to be Viking era drug drug pipe. Wow. Option three. Chess robot grabs and breaks finger of seven-year-old

opponent. Option four. Man dressed like a turtle attacked by alligator survives by hiding inside shell. Option five. Residents of Kingscliff claim seeing rare triple rainbow. Turns out they were lying. Or finally, embarrassing. Man gets head stuck in a woody armhole freed by firefighters. That is embarrassing.

That is embarrassing. Having firefighters come out to get you out of a piece of clothing is pretty funny. How long before you make the call? Yeah, exactly. That'd be several hours. Yeah, really.

You spend the first couple of hours just being like, no, if I do this with this, I'm going to... Why not just cut it? Just wash myself in there more. The firefighters are going to cut it. Yeah. Just get some scissors. The jaws of wise coming. I assume you don't have the dexterity to use the scissors when you're...

True. I guess if you're alone... It's not far off falling into a fish tank. And I'm gonna... Well, that feels more like I'm stuck inside a turtle costume. Yeah, yeah. All right, Dave, what do you think? One more quick recap. Local dog wins Meryl Seat.

Woman discovers ancient pottery in Back Garden, theorised to be viking era drug pipe. Chess robot grabs and breaks finger of seven year old opponent. Man dressed like a turtle attacked by alligator, survives by hiding inside shell. Residents of Kingscliff claim seeing rare triple rainbow, turns out they were lying. Or embarrassing. Man gets head stuck in ooty armhole. Freed by firefighters. There's some great tales being told there. But I'm thinking the one that really jumped out to me was chess robot breaking. Yeah. That feels newsworthy. The term chess robot is already great.

Yeah. I feel like out of all of that one, I'm clicking onto it. Yes. Connor, what do you think? I do like chess robot, but I feel like, because I know that chess robots are still around and I feel like if a chess robot had broken the finger of a child, the chess robots probably wouldn't be around anymore. I don't know. Planes are still around. Men are still around. Damn, damn, you're right. You're right. Yeah. When she writes, she writes.

I know. Ah, you know, I am I am going to go for the hoodie one because like it's it's embarrassing, but it's believable, you know. Is it? People do people do really dumb shit and people call emergency services for dumb things. Yeah, maybe my faith in humanity is a little too high. But you know, you're maybe you're thinking assuming this is the Ghanian Australia

where we're all, you know, true blue. Yeah, top notch. Rengi dig, top notch. Fair digging. Three thinking. Why not we're doing? Common know, true blue. Yeah, top notch. Rengi dig, top notch. Fair digging. Good blokes. Free thinking. Why not we're doing? Common sense is still common now, ain't it?

I'm imagining it's the Guardian UK that, you know. So it's an English plug. Oh no, I'm stuck in Mealty! Yeah, you know, up there, they'll do silly things too. Mm. But not like down here, where we're all bloody, you know, too sweet, right up there. Roger Dodger, common number.

You know what I mean? Yeah. Too right. Yeah, too bloody right. Not affiliated with this man. Jess, that leaves just you. I was going to go chess straight off the bat, but if Dave's gone for that, I'm going to go for the man of the turtle suit. You can go for the same. I know. OK. I'm gonna go for the man of the turtle suit. You can go for the same. I know. Okay. I'm choosing the turtle. I choose turtle. All right here's the

right the answers local dog wins Merrill seat that was Jess Perkins. You know animals are always mares. Yeah and points for you you wrote it in all caps which I enjoyed as well. You got me on a roll and I read them all out in all caps. I studied journalism. Yeah. Woman discovers ancient pottery in back garden. It was Connor. That's a good one. That does because that does happen. Yeah, yeah, that happens to people.

And you know, if it's, you know, right in the headline, if it's going to be something they discover, it's going to be something fun. Yeah. Residents of Kingscliff claim seeing rare triple rainbow. That was Dave Warnocky. It's like the idea that a whole town lied about seeing something. Nah, we all saw it. Yeah, it was amazing.

Three rainbows. And to what end as well, you know? Trying to put themselves on the map. You gotta come to Kingsliff, home of the triple rainbow. It happened once, it could happen again. Man getting head stuck in a woody armhole, that was the house, I'm afraid, Connor. Fuck.

All points to the house. Jess, I'm afraid the turtle being attacked by the alligator was Martin, AKA the house. That was good. Two more for the house. But that doesn't mean Dave Warnock is correct. It is chest robot grabs and breaks finger of seven year old opponent. I could have got my first legit point.

Yes, I tried, did try to guide you back there. You did try and I appreciate that. But I, you know, I said at the start, I'm here to play aspirationally. I'm here to have fun, not win like a nerd. Yeah, well, fun arounds with triple points. Is it possible to have fun and win as well? Uh, I didn't, I've never experienced that.

No, neither. I find winning not that fun. Yeah. I'm like, oh, I like it when someone else is winning, they're having fun. That's why you don't like the house to win. Yeah. But'm like, oh I like it when someone else is winning. They're having fun. That's why you don't like the house to win. Yeah. But, yeah. You're gonna. No. So you're having a real bad time. Triple points of the fun. No, I think it's nice. I just want everyone to know that I'm going for you. I wanted you all to win. That's what I want you to know. I want to have it both ways. Thank you. So going to the final round,

Connor and Jess on two points, seven five points, but in front on eight points, it's the house. But remember you all get triple points in this final round, the house only gets single points. So Dave could win here.

You both could win. If you get it right and they both get yours, Bob you leap to the lead. So question six, the final question, we always finish for the movie synopsis question. This comes from Christy P from Frederick, Fredericksburg in the VA, which is probably Virginia, I reckon.

And the question is, what is the synopsis of the movie? The day they gave babies away, the day they gave babies away. That's good stuff. While you're writing your answers, I'm gonna read the article about this chess robot. It was written by John Henley, and it goes a little something like this. Played by humans, chess is a game of strategic thinking,

calm concentration, and patient intellectual endeavor. Violence does not usually come into it. game of strategic thinking, calm concentration and patient intellectual endeavour. Violence does not usually come into it. The same, it seems, cannot always be said of machines." Last week, according to Russian media outlets, a chess-playing robot, apparently unsettled by the quick responses of a seven-year-old boy, unceremoniously grabbed and broke his finger during the match at the Moscow Open. The robot broke the child's finger, Sergey Lazarev, president of the Moscow Chess Federation, told the T-A-S-S news agency after the incident, adding that the machine had played many previous exhibitions without upset.

But he was quoted as saying, this of course, bad. Video of the 19th July incident published by the Baza Telegram channel shows the boy's finger being pinched by the robotic arm for several seconds before a woman followed by three men rush in, free him and usher him away. Sergey Shmagin, Vice President of the Russian Chess Federation, told Baza, the robot appeared to pounce after it took one of the boy's pieces. Rather than waiting for the machine to complete its move, the boy opted for a quick riposte, he said.

There are certain safety rules and the child apparently violated them. When he made his move, he did not realise he first had to wait, Smeaghan said. This is an extremely rare case, the first I can recall, he added. Lazarev had a different account, saying the child had made a move and after that, we need to give time for the robot to answer, but the boy hurried and the robot grabbed him. Either way he said the robot's suppliers were quote, going to have to think again. Baza named the boy as Christopher and said he was one of the 30 best chess players in the Russian capital in the under-9s category.

Quote, People rushed to help and pulled out the finger of the young player, but the fracture could not be avoided, it said. Lazarev told Tass that Krissover, whose finger was put in a plaster cast, did not seem overly traumatised by the attack. The child played the very next day, finished the tournament and volunteers helped to record the moves he said. His parents however have reportedly contacted the public prosecutor's office. We will communicate, figure it out and try to help in any way we can he said. Schmagan told RIA

RIA Novosti the incident was quote a coincidence and that the robot was quote absolutely safe. The machine which can play multiple incident was a coincidence and that the robot was absolutely safe. The machine, which can play multiple matches at a time and had reportedly already played three on the day it encountered Christopher, was unique, he said. It had performed at many opens. Apparently, children need to be warned. It happens, he said. A Russian grandmaster, Sergei Karjakin, said the incident was no doubt due to, quote,

some kind of software error or something, adding, "'This has never happened before. There are such accidents. I wish the boy good health.'" Christopher may have been lucky. While robots are becoming more and more sophisticated, with the most modern models, capable not just of interacting but actively cooperating with humans, most simply repeat the same basic actions, grab, move, put down, and neither know nor care if people get in the way. According to one 2015 study, one person is killed each year by an industrial robot in the US alone.

Indeed, according to the US Occupational Safety Administration, most occupational accidents since 2000 involving robots have been fatalities. Robert Williams, widely considered the first, was crushed to death by the arm of a one-ton robot on Ford's Michigan production line in 1979. In 2015, a robot killed a 22-year-old contractor at one of Volkswagen's German plants, grabbing him and crushing him against a metal plate. Robots used in medical surgery were also held responsible for the deaths of 144 people between 2008 and 2013. More recently, Elaine Hertzberg was killed by an Uber autonomous car that hit the 49 year old at 40 miles per hour as she was

crossing the road in Tempe, Arizona in 2018. Generally however, human error or lack of human understanding of robotic processes is the most frequent cause. It pays to be careful around robots, even if they're only playing chess. Well, I always thought I read a fact once that only once that a robot killed someone. But I suppose you have the like, you know, must have been the Volkswagen guy. Mm hmm. Because it's because it fell on him or something. Right. Yeah. But like, if you go through, yeah, those other things, I have been the Volkswagen guy. Mm. Because it was a felonium or something. Right, yeah.

But like, if you go through, yeah, those other things, I guess they are killing people. Yeah. Yeah, you're just, yeah, I guess big, big robot is probably trying to make it sound like it's not so bad. Yeah. So the answers are in for the final question. What is the synopsis of the movie The Day They Gave Babies Away? Option 1.

Harold is a hapless but lovable stork who loves to work at the baby factory. When his boss denies him a promotion, Harold decides to sneak into the factory to prove he is capable of running things himself. But Harold misreads the number of babies to be produced and accidentally creates five times too many. Harold turns to his other feathered friends, Penelope the Pelican and Andy the Albatross for help. Can they work together to find homes for all the babies?

That's option one. Pretty cute. That's cute. That's animated in my head. That's cute. Me too. Yeah, surely. Jerry Seinfeld voices one of the characters and you sort of go, I didn't think I could

buy it, but I get it. Somehow it works. It works. He transforms himself. Yeah. Just like he did in B movie. Option two. In the aftermath of World War One, a small town in the English countryside experiences

a horrific tragedy. The delivery wing of the town hospital turns down, killing all mothers, but leaving the newborn safe. What the actual fuck? The town institutes a giveaway to find mothers for the fresh orphans, hoping to find... Fresh orphans? What a phrase, fresh orphans. Hoping to find local families for them.

Will all the children find new homes in town or will the dastardly Londoners flocking to the town gobble them up for themselves? What? Okay, if that was written by Dave O'Connor, I'm gonna be I'm gonna be very upset. If it was written by Matt, I'll be like, yeah, that tracks. Fair enough. Fair enough. I don't know about you, that one was animated in my mind. I had it in my mind. Oh, and they're all rats. It was a rat hospital. Option three, when a local fertility clinic

suffers a radioactive leak in an x-ray machine, the gestation period of embryo speeds up exponentially and the things start going off like popcorn. With babies now roaming the streets, local midwife, Christina Reese and her team must round them up to feed and care for them. Round up the babies! Round them up!

Get some sheep dogs in there. Yeah, you gotta round them up before the Londoners couple them up. You get a few border collies in? Come by! Comey on! Comey on! Option number four. A Scottish couple raises six children in rural Wisconsin in the 1860s.

Unfortunately, both parents die of horrendous diseases within a few months of each other. On her deathbed on Christmas Eve, the mother asks her 12 year old son to find homes for each of his siblings, which he has to attempt on Christmas Day. Oh, that is Blake. Hmm, Really Blake? Option five. Couple up Blake ones. In this dark retelling of the story of the Judgment of Solomon, Leah's husband, Boaz,

is a cruel man who... could be Boaz... is a cruel man who wants only sons to help him for the farm work. Instead, Leah gives him daughters. In her ninth pregnancy, Boaz threatens to kill Leah if she doesn't produce him a son. When her baby is revealed to be another daughter, Leah races desperately to Solomon's Court and lays claim to another woman's son. This powerful story will have watchers actually sympathising with the woman who agreed to split a baby in half. Sympathising with a woman?

Yeah, no. I think the rest of it was important as well there, Connor. You got to listen to the end of the sentence, mate. He did listen to the end of the sentence. And only the end of the sentence. Or finally, six couples who desperately want children but struggle to fall pregnant are all surprised one day to find a stalk on their doorstep.

The film follows the six families as their wives intersect with each other and they discover who had sent the babies to them. Alright Connor, you up first. So you got Harold the hapless but lovable stork working in the baby factory accidentally makes five times too many babies. You've got the World War I tragedy where all the mums die and the Londoners are trying to gobble up the babies. You've got the radioactive leak in the x-ray machine which leads to babies roaming the streets going off like popcorn. You've got the Scottish couple living in rural Wisconsin in the 1860s.

The parents die and the eldest has to try to find homes for his siblings on Christmas. You've got the retelling of the Judgment of Solomon with the woman who agrees to split a baby in half. Or finally, six couples want children desperately but can't until a stork delivers them each a baby on their doorstep. What do you think? That last one sounds like quite a nice little movie, like, you know, it feels like it could be a bit of a like a, you know, a hapless comedy. Oh, there's a stalk in me doorstep with a baby. But I do.

I think the the round up the babies that are going off like popcorn or whatever Really has the vibe of a of a who knew it movie Yeah, because it sounds fucking insane But also like a lot of fun like it could have been made on a on a shoestring with really crappy effects But you know, it's got a cult following really some I'm gonna I'm gonna go for Roundup the babies All right, look that in not the one where they where the Londoners are trying to gobble them up. No, no, no, no, no. Don't get confused by gobble up and round up.

God no. God no. Who would have thought today we'd hear about rounding up babies and gobbling up babies? Bloody Londoners. Wouldn't put it past them. Two terms I'd never heard before. Jess, what do you think? I think I might go for... I've forgotten a few of them, which I think is good.

Just, you know, eliminate some of the options. Your brain is like automatically culling. It's culling. Can't be that. I think I'm and I think it's a bleak one, but it feels like the type of like 40s, 50s movie, the one where the parents die and the kids have to spend Christmas day finding new families. Yep. That sounds so bleak, but I think it could be the type of movie that was trying to be

heartwarming in the, you know, the old days. Yep. All right. Locked in. That leaves just Dave. I'm also drawn to the bleakness of the World War I one. It's just so full-on. But the thing that put me off is right at the end, London is trying to gobble them up. I think like trying to adopt them. Yeah. Why would the London so desperate as well as more? Why do they want the kids for themselves?

Interesting. Yep. They want everything for themselves. Yeah. I guess. But maybe that's just like a funny way of describing what's going on and that, yeah. But something about that, the day they gave babies away. Because I think the Stork one, which we all love the sound of, that sounds so fun, but I think that'd have a more zany name for it, because it sounds like more of a kids movie. Yeah. Yeah.

It is a grimmer, old timey sounding movie title. When they didn't realize that all titles were still up for grabs. You could have anything. You could call it up. Yeah, that's right. You could have called it, you could have called it Air Bud. Yeah. You could have.

It was like. That was available. Yeah. Yeah. Stalk raving mad. Captain America the Winter Soldier was still there. Stalk raving mad. That was available. Yeah. Yeah. Stalk Craving Med. Captain America The Winter Soldier. We're still there. Stalk Craving Med. That was good stuff.

Stalk Craving Med is, it's probably still there actually. Yeah, sure. Yeah, okay. Green light. So- Let's do it. Let's make Stalk Craving Med.

You might wanna blip that out, Connor. Okay, sorry. Until you've fully developed the project. Well, this episode's not coming out for a while, so I've got time to get a treatment going, pitch to a studio. Yeah. I'm going to go for the World War I one.

World War I one. World War I one. World War I one. Did you want to go for my one? I thought I did. I actually don't know in this instance, which one is yours. Because none of them had Fox in it.

None of them. Yeah, I'm not sure. None of them was so stupid. Jess is locked in. Hey. I thought that we all did believable answers. It could be any of them. There's something to add to the end of mine that made me laugh, but Matt can get to that.

All right. Okay. Little pro script. So is it a bloopers? Bloopers in mind, yeah. Oh, did I leave something off? No, no, no, no. No. Oh, no. But you did a deep one. So is it a bloopers? bloopers in mind yep, oh Did I did I leave something? Oh?

No, oh, no, but you did it did end with an ellipsis. Yes All right, here's all right the answers The one about the hapless but lovable stalk working in the baby factory that was Christie the question right okay the house I see that on Chris that was adorable as hell movie I love it stuff Christie also wrote the one about the retelling of the judgment of Solomon Which are I only? Remember the bit about one person said they'd split the baby in half and the other did and then Solomon gave that baby I guess is it that story. Yes, like if you love them so much then they'd say on a rather than yeah

I'm in half you can have them like Kramer and the and the bike Newman, Elaine said split the bike in half and Kramer said, no, no, please. So some fun work from Christie. A lot of range from Christie. Yes. That's huge range. Huge range.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Both ends. Six couples desperately wanting children, their lives intersect after a stalk drops off babies on their doors, dot, dot, dot dot that was Jess. Mm-hmm. So read the last one. So that was your one. The film follows the six families as their lives intersect with each other and they discover who had sent their babies to them. God. Oh! We see God on a cloud and he's like, Oh, these guys kind of babes. I'm going to send him a baby.

What a reveal. That is actually really good. Thank you so much. Who would you cast as God for that particular? Who was a big call? I'm just. But what about William H. Macy? I love it.

No, Willem Dafoe. Oh, yeah. Wow. I'll see you Rodney Dangerfield, but he is dead. The biggest Dafoe of all. God. Dafoe. Oh, what else do we got? Connor went for the babies popping off like popcorn. That was Dave Warnocky. Did you write like popcorn? Yeah. That was incredible. Thank you. Dave went for the bleak World War one one. That was Connor

You sick puppy you sick puppy. I know but I know these films sometimes can be so fucked up That was so bleak. They were all into the depths of my mind and I'm glad I'm glad I got you Dave You're a sicko. Yeah. Well, we got each other so I appreciate that and that means Jess was correct. It is the bleak Christmas one. I got one right. Good stuff. So all the sibling, the parents dying,

the kids got to give away his siblings on Christmas. Apparently, it's a Christmas classic. That's fuck. That's what I mean. So my instincts were right in that it feels like the type of movie that... When did it come out? Do you know? 1957. OK. Yeah. There you go. It felt like the type of movie that when did it come out? Do you know? Uh, 1957.

OK, yeah, it felt like the kind of movie that was like, here's something really tragic. Oh, it's awful. It's so sad. It also makes no sense because as if the children, the 12 year old would be responsible for that. I don't know why I'm doing this, except that I've worked up. And in America, it was released as All Mine to Give. Ah, that's better. The day they gave the babies away is terrible. It's fun to say at least.

True. The day they gave the babies away. They gave the babies away. It's a musical now. Yeah. So, yeah, I don't think there's enough critical response from what I've written down here, but the audience like it 73%. I think people connect it as like their Christmas classic, some people maybe.

Review by David Cornelius reads, One of the strangest, most off-putting Christmas themed tearjerkers ever conceived. I haven't heard Conor's movie. Rod Tomatoes user Michael F liked it writing, I was very moved by this touching film. Have a box of tissues nearby. Sounds like it was real. Good Lord.

All right, final score check. In equal last place. There's a negative way to say it. You could say equal third place on five points a piece. It's Jess and Connor. Well done. But out in front, equal first on eight points a piece. It's Dave in the house.

Oh, wow. Great. So you all got three points in the last round, which really changed a lot of things. Isn't that nice? But it means that if, yeah, really, each of your choices could have changed everything. If Dave ended up picking the right answer as well, he would have leapt to the front. Wow. If you picked Jess's answer, Jess would have gone to equal first as well. Yeah.

Fascinating stuff. Fascinating stuff. What a thrilling game. Real sliding doors. That brings us to the end of episode 150. Thanks so much for being with us all this time. Where can people find you? Connor, you're a gun for hire. Can people hire you to do editing and other such things?

Yes, please. More than welcome to get anything on my plate. You can follow me at most of the big social media is at CMR Schmidt 11 not super active, which is probably good for my mental health I'm probably most active on letterbox of all things which tells you everything you need to know about me Well, I'm looking forward to your review on they gave the babies away. Yeah, it's on the list on a day or whatever it was Thanks so much for joining us first time. What a pleasure. I'm so glad the listeners could finally put a voice to the name. Yeah, no, very happy to make my debut.

Jess, what about you? You can find me on our other podcast, Doing My Thing over on Do Go On, where I'm just hot delight. What would it, would you recommend the Dolly Parton biography episode? That was so long ago. I feel like I should redo it. Yeah. Especially now that I have been to Dollywood.

Oh yeah. I could recap. Yeah, I think that's good. But yes, you should listen to it because she's amazing. And Dave, where can people find you? Also talking about Dolly Parton and other such subjects on Do Go On, also Bookcheat where I talk about our classic books,

not yet up to 150 episodes, but I believe we're up to 117 or something like that. So there's a lot of classics covered, but also don't forget you can check out both of our stand-up specials, Matt, right now live on the Humdinger channel. Yes, love people to check those out, that'd be amazing. Yeah, watch it, it's free on YouTube, there's an hour of us each telling some gags and also telling it like it is. Yeah, we're saying things others are too afraid to say. But everyone's thinking because everyone thinks the same.

Thanks so much for joining us, Connor, Jess and Dave. Thanks everyone for listening for the first 150 episodes. Hey, give us a five star review to celebrate. Why not? Tell your friends if you think you know anyone who might enjoy it. And cheers for tuning in to who knew with Matt Stewart now that you know it I've been Matt Stewart goodbye Well done at 150 Matt, that's incredible I wrote it in a notes thing in the folder but the episode I recorded last night with Alexi you got a bleep out the guy said he'd Hit with a baseball bat

He said after the recordings I please make you Bleak that cut out the bit where I say I want to do a crime sure yeah Well, I don't know the crime he's happy to leave the crime in but just okay not the not the person he would assault I'm now worried. It's me. It's 100% you. Oh my god. So Connor, you're gonna, you DM me, you understand this show probably better than I do. I was about to explain it to you.

Episode barely, I mean I do offload all my work into someone else, so I have an app. Yeah, great, AI does it. Yeah, yeah, 100%. Oh, that's pretty fucked. That's clever. Okay, we all had a different take on that. Now, have you guys met before?

No. No, not in video form. And we were just like, oh yeah, hey man, what's up? And then just get back to our conversation. So rude. I feel like I know you. So that's why I was just like, oh, hey. We have met, but not as I've been a part of the family. I suppose. Oh when it was when was that in Perth?

Yeah in Perth years and years ago when the man when I didn't happen. We met that. Oh, yeah That's right. I bought I got him to shout he You would have been very young you would have been like 20 was a while ago You would have been very young, you would have been like 20. It was a while ago. Yeah, no, it was a good long way off. I went before the show to get us a round of drinks. And Connor was there and I said, I'd love to get you drinks. And I'm like, oh, I'm like, oh, I think we get them on a tab.

He said, I'd love to get them for you. I'm like, Connor, no worries. I would have said, young man, no worries. Little whippersnapper. And he said, what are you drinking? I said, I think we're having the Matt sauce ginger beer. And then it turned out to be the most expensive and it ruined him financially for a while.

And really- I would say you did not say, we'll be getting them for free. You just, as soon as I said, I'd like to buy you some beers you went Yep Yeah, I know because I normally do that if like because people want to buy me the beers Yeah, I'm like well. I don't want to take that away from them and also you support in the venue that's supporting comedy You know what I mean? Yeah, no, I I hold you no ill will well You know I'm I'm ongoing paying you back for that

You've more than you've more than made up for it. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know Do you know this second part of the story Connor is that Matt never gave us the ginger beers? Yes Have drinks here, yeah This is a dry bar. Oh, not even water method, no? No, that changed them all off, I'm afraid. Yeah, I think did we go drinking with Tamara years ago when you were here? Did we remember that time? We went drinking with Tamara years ago.

Yeah, I think so. And we went to like, did we go to like a secret bar? Yeah, like a speakeasy. Yeah. Was that the one where we couldn't figure out the entry code and they just let us in because someone needed to piss? Yes, because yeah, there was the whole schtick was, you know, you need to find the secret hidden word in this bookshelf or whatever. But one of the group was like banging on the door, let me in, I need to fucking piss. Which I guess that was the secret entry phrase

Always worth a try might have even been tomorrow myself. Wow, who knows? Jess is proud of whatever she's doing. No, it's not. You've got to understand it's not pride. There's no guarantee it's pride. It's just tickled herself. That's all it is. And it could be because it's great or because it's awful or anywhere in between. You just don't know. Matt, you know what? I was thinking this recently.

I was thinking that like to be loved is to be seen and to be understood. And I feel very loved right now because you're absolutely right. It's never that it's good. It's often not very funny, but for some reason, it's really tickled me. Yeah, just never know. You never know. It's exciting. Yeah, I am exciting The are ifs of course Rufus

That won't make the edit kind you I assume you edit I felt my hands going towards I appreciate that. That's that's the right instinct. Yeah professional allegedly. You guys got big day doing lots of recording? No. Ahead? No? No this is it. Good for you. Not for me I'm doing another one. Oh are you? I'm going home. And I'm doing, in between taking photos with Saren for our split show next year. I'm thinking about getting a haircut, like cutting my hair quite a lot shorter between now and the shoot. Nice. I fully support that.

Getting the photos done in June is very impressive. I was, I did, I believe that in the group chat, I've agreed to this, but I don't recall it. And I'm like, I'm doing something with Saren today. That's all I knew. I remember the time and meeting with Saren. I'm like, photos? Well, I've not thought about this at all.

I'm like, do I need to be, what are we, is there a concept? Yeah. We haven't discussed it at all. Is there a costume I'm supposed to have a concept? Yeah. We haven't discussed it at all. Is there a costume I'm supposed to have sourced? Yeah. Hopefully not.

Can I tell you a story about seagulls? Yeah. I don't know. I don't know if it's interesting, so Conor, you can. We need you to tell us a story about seagulls. You can edit this out. But you know, they, cause that whole story was about seagulls stealing his food, right? That did happen to my husband when he was

about 15 years old. A seagull stole his burger, a whole burger. A whole burger? Clutched. That is a jacked seagull. Stole a burger, which he now blames because he hadn't had anything in his stomach, he got way too drunk and ended up in hospital

and got his stomach pumped. And he blames that seagull. The seagull. That dastardly seagull. And every time we're eating by a beach, he's like, you fucking seagulls. Oh, yeah. Got my stomach pumped for you. So I can see why you picked that.

You would have loved the revenge tale. Yeah. Yeah. The seagull being eaten. Do you think that's what Aidan needs to do to get over it, is to eat a seagull? Maybe in between like two pieces of a bun. Yeah. You know. Well, if you've seen the way that man eats chicken, he could probably just

go at it at its little dead carcass. To ants. Yeah, he's gross. What was the area again, sorry? The Blue Ridge Mountains. While you're writing your answers, here's gross. What was the area again, sir? The Blue Ridge Mountains. While you're writing your answers, here's a little more info. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no still writing your answers, let's go for a quick break! Na na na na. Ba na na na. I'm gonna go like this to you.

I'm gonna go like this to you. I'm gonna go like this to you. La la la la la. Thanks for that, Matt. No worries. Go to the class Dave. Dave seemed to forget there are cameras in this room. Yeah. What do you do? I just got an itchy beard. You call that a beard? Ooh. Ow.

What's wrong with you? Dave, I don't know if you know this, you're doing a very rude gesture. I'm scratching my little luxurious beard. Scratch that luxurious beard with any other finger. Davego I've just asked a question, just a clarifying question of you. You've asked me a question. You can't do anything right.

No I'm just double checking a spelling. Fucking dumbass. That means no one got the correct answer yet again, it's the Snallygaster. No way. Looks like a cross between a tiger and a vampire with enormous wings. Didn't Connor go for the Snallygaster? Yeah, just use me. Connor is correct.

Do you want to take that again? Yeah, just for the... And that means Connor... I wanted it out, but take it again please. Could you let me fucking talk? Could you let him talk at any stage through the entire podcast? Yeah, mate. No, I need to talk, mate.

Unbelievable. And that means I was sure I was going to do that classic bit, but jeez, well done. Do it now. And that means Connor is... Do what, Dave? Well done. Do it now. And that means Connor is... Do what Dave? Connor, how does it feel to be tired with somebody who just asked for points?

Um, I wouldn't say it feels great. Yeah, I understand that. But, you know, I've gotten those points on my own standing. Yeah. I've worked for them. And you can sleep well tonight knowing that. Absolutely, absolutely. I would have been ashamed if I'd left with zero points as a man who listens to this show so fucking much. Yeah, too much.

Probably more than any human on Earth. Yeah. Yeah. Good Lord. So, you know, I've worked for it. It's it's been hard work. You earned it. Can I ask how many pity points is the house got? None none. Yeah She knows we have six points into the house

No, you're Dave you've I think you've picked a house answer nearly every go. So well, that's a pity point Pity that the grand buff packer You picked that what were you thinking? I was great. picking of the nose that's another point you gave us mmm you finally got one right with the barnacles and then you gave us another point there with Oklahoma hangman you've given us half our points as the house and the other side that the other two were penny points no the other three were from the other two okay I think it's all pretty straightforward. How did the tickets come about, Jess?

Through a turns out legit site called Vivid Seats. Oh, okay. And somebody bought the ticket and transferred it to me. And I have a ticket now. Fucking A. Holy shit. Well, I assume you've never seen her before. No, because she's not she hasn't done anything in quite a while. Right. No, I think I think she did a couple of shows, like obviously in the States a few years ago.

She hasn't done Vegas since 93, apparently. I don't know if or when she's been in Australia. And she's 80 in January. So it's like it's it's a short residency, right? It's like six shows. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. That's that's great. Well done. I'm like, you mean, I'm never going to see her. You know, like people of our parents generation who say like,

I saw the Beatles and they came to Melbourne. Like, I get to be one of those old people who's like, yeah saw Dolly Parton. But again something terrible will happen in the meantime. Yeah exactly yeah. Exactly. Not to her. She'll live forever but um certainly to me. 150 can you believe it Dave? 150 episodes wow. Only the third or four has Bookchic got a 150? I know. Only the third podcast in our Do Go On podcast network to make. The big 150. The big 150. Wow.

Cause how many is our primates on now? I don't know, it's- So at what point will this overtake primates in terms of- Can you get far away? 148 was your worst primates. Oh no, primates never, this is the second. You've done it! You've overtaken primates. There you go. Well done.

Huge. When did I come on? To who? Have I done 100 yet? Surely. Feels like it. That's a great question. I think you'd only been doing it about a year before you brought me on. So. Maybe. I think you'd only been doing it about a year before you brought me on.

So maybe you'd be if not a hundred very close I reckon. Wow. Happy 100th Connor. Wow. What are we going to do? We're going to go out? Yeah. Go for a meal.

I'll take I'll take the zoom call onto my phone and I'll take you out and you can watch me eat. Lovely. You can go out to my lab to eat as well on the other end of the Zoom, but don't you have to watch? Well, it's up to you. What happens at your end of the call is entirely up to you, mate. Very kind. Wow.

Thank you. So... He's just sending me messages about both of you guys. We're having a great old time here. All good stuff. He just said, get a load of Jess. Two pity points? Go easy. I think she's going through something.

Don't provoke her or she'll show us her genitals.