Who Knew It with Matt Stewart - 162 - Bec Hill, Will Sebag-Montefiore and Giles Gear (live in Cambridge, UK)

Episode Date: October 20, 2025

Who Knew It with Matt Stewart is a comedy game show podcast hosted by Australian comedian Matt Stewart. Episode 162 features comedians Bec Hill, Will Sebag-Montefiore and Giles Gear!Support the show via http://patreon.com/dogoonpod and you can submit questions for the show!Check out Will's podcast: https://shows.acast.com/legitimate-likesCheck out Matt's new stand up special: https://youtu.be/ZgukEPerWZc?si=SW8PttGAB-ly_GF8And his last stand up special: https://youtu.be/cWStRpI-BhESee the podcast/Matt live: https://www.mattstewartcomedy.com/Check out Matt's podcast network: https://dogoonpod.com/Theme song by Evan Munro-Smith, Logo by Murray Summerville and edited by Connor Schmidt! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Welcome to Who Knew with Matt Stewart, the show where the guest write the wrong answers. I'm the titular Matt Stewart. My co-hosts and scorer tonight is the founder of the cheerful, earful podcast festival. It's Giles Gere. Now, Giles, I should have asked before now, is that how you pronounce your surname? Correct, yeah. Okay, great, fantastic. Smashed it.

I've known you for, I think, two years. Coming up to two years. You're in my phone as Giles' cheerful, earful. But gear is somehow a weirdest. name than that. Gear. I think the gears are weird. I don't think I could talk about that.

My middle name is Richard as well. Like Richard Gear, but spelled different name. Yeah. Or Dick Gear. Or Dick Gear. There it is. Back to primary school. Yeah.

Hey, Charles, do you want to introduce our guest? Yes, of course. Our first guest is Adelaide-born, a British-based comedian. It's Beck Hill. Yay. So good to have you on again, Beck. Last time you're on the show. In Adelaide?

We're in Adelaide, yes. Your hometown, but this is also sort of your hometown, only it's not Cambridge, is it? It's not, well, I live in London. Isn't this like an out of suburb? Basically, an out of London? I think if I can't tap out when I arrive, we're no longer in London. Okay. I should have checked the map.

So are we a while from London? You only arrived like two days ago and you've already done a show, hey. Yeah, yeah, I'm not doing great. Jals, who's our second guest? Yeah, our second guest is London-based actor, writer and comedian. It's, I'm going to say this wrong, it's Will Seabag Montefure. Woo! Woo, woo, woo, woo, woo.

I was nervous in the surname chat. Now, that's a surname. That's a fucking surname. That's two surnames if we're on it. Bloody hell. Great value. Thanks so much for doing the show. Thanks, hallow me.

Are you from the city we're in right now? I'm from Leeds. Leeds. Leeds. Leeds, Leeds, Leeds. Yeah, that's right. Oh, that's fantastic. Harry Kuhle?

Harry Kuh? Yeah. What the fuck? Just referencing early Nortese football players for Leeds United. Yeah, that's the fact I know about Leeds. Oh, he was Australian. Probably still is, in a way. I think he remains as one.

He does, yeah. Yeah, there you go. Lee Boe, not. Voduca. Kick a man in the head. Yeah, Mark Voduca. Yeah, Lucas Raddoo. Yeah, Lucas Radderby.

Lucas Rad. Well, I only know the two that I said. but yeah um i only know the i really was this when you started naming more i'm like oh fuck i'm in too deep now i don't care about football by the way i got taken to leads games when i was like that age so i'm really good at so whenever someone's like oh did you watch the game i'm like no but i know lucas were out of beers and then i look like a real man you do you i mean you already do yeah you're a very masculine man yeah i didn't get the memo yeah i don't have a hat or a beard that's embarrassing that you know about

And you're talking about a hat, a little hat? A little hat. Has anyone got a hat in the crowd? The bet could have. A lady never tells. There's a heart on the front row. Beck, get that front. Oh, yes.

Okay. And you've got a beard. Can I borrow it? So this is the way the show works. I ask a question that's relatively obscure. Trivia question. Our contestants have to write a convincing fake answer. I then read their answer as well as a real one.

And I have to guess which one is correct. Does that make sense? anyone not heard the show before? Oh, what? It's a pod audio podcast. Well, you wouldn't know that. You haven't heard it before. As opposed to those visual podcasts with no sound whatsoever.

All right, so the first question comes from Ariane from Ireland, and the question is, what does the word fleshment mean? Can I ask for a spelling? Yes. F-L-E-S-H-M-E-N-T. Yeah, correct. Yep. Okay, great.

Charles, that's one point for me. Hey, while they're right of their answers, this is how the scoring works. So if their fake answer is guessed by other contestants, they get a point, and if they correctly guess the answer, they also get a point. By the way, I'm also playing as the house. I really thought Cambridge was going to be classier than that. So, yeah, I've got two of my own fake answers for each question, and I also get, where is the house?

It's really just me, but I like to make it sound bigger than that. Where is the house get a point for each one of those that I guess choose as well? So each of us can score two points up to two points per round, which seems fair, but it probably actually favours me. The house, and the house always wins. Though if you have listened to previous episodes or heard someone talking about it in the Q Gardens, you'll know that's not necessarily the case.

Anyway, our questions come from our great Patreon support. If you want to submit a question, sign up on any level of our Patreon.com. do go on pod even, which is linked in the show notes. Any patrons in tonight? How good is that? All right, the answers are in for question number one. What does the word fleshment mean? Here are your options.

Viginal menthol freshening device. Someone said Jesus, then. I don't know if the mics picked that up. That's a bit of fun. That's option one, option two. It was a popular beauty trend in the Victorian era, which involved putting pigs' guts on one's face. I love going from pig's guts to one's face.

Option three, the process of becoming fruit after flowering. Option four, committing to be in an exclusive relationship with your sex toy. You can make a fleshment. The specific excitement of when you begin something, and it gets off to a good start, or finally, someone desperate for a bit more flesh, specific, thigh-based flesh. Man, someone's really... That's the same as the last answer.

Getting off to a good start. All right. What do you think, Will? You've got vaginal menthol, you've got pig's guts on your face, you've got fruit before flowering, or after flowering even, relationship with a sex toy,

exclusive, I should say. Something getting off to a good start or thigh-based flesh. If it seems like there's a lot of options, Giles is also part of his wish was that he could also add it. Yeah, yeah. It feels like I'm pretty sure

the human brain can only remember a certain amount of the options anyway. So I can just remember, I remember the word fruit, vaginal, and flesh, and that's worrying. I think it might be the fruit, the flower blooming to fruit. I think that feels real.

All right. What can that input? What do you think, Beth? I'm very tempted to go for one of the comedy ones. I mean, it's not the first one because I think, oh, no, menthol was meant, oh, no, I guess, because I was like, they must have thought flesh mint. That would make more sense, but no, meant for menthol.

No, that doesn't. Yeah, so that tracks, actually. It could be that thing. That was the only thing putting me on. I think, I like the, when something gets off to a good start, that feels like a thing that should have a word. Yeah.

And should that word be fleshment? How's a new job going, Beck? Yeah, it's like, you know, a little refreshment. That's when it's happened again. All right, so they're the locked-in answers. Here's who wrote the others. Viginal, menthol, freshening device.

That was Will. I'm so sorry about that. Oh, I'm so sorry about that. Well, you're lucky that someone who's probably even more sorry is Giles with that one about thigh-based flesh. Just happy to be here. Committing to be an exclusive relationship with your sex toy, that was the house. Pigs, guts on one's face, that was Ariane.

The question on okay, the house. At first sort of might be that, but then I was like, oh, Victorian, that's too late. That feels like it would have been a much older thing. Yeah, Victorian, they were like, that was the Industrial Revolutionary. wasn't it? They don't have time for pigs' guts then. Those duck guts and stuff.

Yeah. Much of fancier. They'll just get machines to do it. Machines and children, yeah. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, it was children's flesh they put on their faces. It was straight in that.

Flesh of orphans. I was going to say organs, but that both work. I'm available for kids' shows. Now, Will went for the process of becoming fruit after flowering. That was actually written by Beck. Very good.

Thank you. I'm in it to win it. Becca. Sorry, fuck. Was it expecting, like normally the crowd would really get on board, I got a feeling that they're not barricing for you. Based on that response. I think it's because they were like just shocked,

because you all thought it was that. And now you've realized how clever I am. Yeah, I've got to say, I've never felt more like smart than when a room full of people in Cambridge which vigorously nodded when I said the wrong one. A pretty smart. A vigorous nod. That's so good.

And then I didn't go for that one and everyone was like, you idiot. It was so obvious. Well, they've got pigs' guts on their face now, so to speak. Because the one Beck went for is correct. How refreshing. The specific excitement of when you begin something and it gets off. to a good start. That's what's happening. We're in fleshment now, guys.

So, Jarl, that means Beck gets both points first round. I'll get a score update from you in a second. But can you sing it to a boy's own song? I don't think I can. I can't think of one boy's own song. I can't even think of a title, let alone the full three and a half minutes, which I'm sure we've got time for. So we'll leave it there. But Beck's winning with two, I should see.

That's one of their songs, weirdly. Now, question two comes from Katie Salisbury from Sydney, and the question is, come up with a fake species of butterfly. So you've just got to come up with a species of butterfly. It's less of a question, more of a command. Fake species of butterfly. You don't have to describe it or anything,

just the name of a butterfly species. And while you're writing those answers, here's more info on fleshment. The word appears in Shakespeare's King Lear, apparently. in the sentence, I mean, or in Cambridge, do I ever need to say it? Say along with me if you want to. And in the fleshment of this dread exploit, drew on me here again. So that's, I think we all took that in.

Oh, here we go, pronunciation guide, fleshmunt. Oh, I've been saying it wrong. Probably should have read that bit a little earlier. I would have got that. Yeah, you would have got it. That's a kind of wordsmith.org. That's when that's got vaginal muntthole. Try those mothal cigarettes, like deloshos.

Sogarets. All right, the answer is for question number two. Wait, I don't want to tread on any great. Oh, I think it was good to be trod, and I was just going to say, I'm really happy to be in Combranche. There was a chance if you had tread on it. I would have done the rest of the show, Long Coss. Now I'm absolutely kicking myself.

Cocking us off. What about Kirst Star about that, didn't I? Sorry about that. So, question two. Which of these are real species of butterfly? Arse of the Valley. Whistful flapper. Mundane Benny. Bog copper.

the tattooed boot or the speckled thigh flesher now I don't know if Giles has got himself in a rhythm here but it will be interesting to see okay so Becky got ass of the valley wistful flapper mundane Benny bog copper or the tattoo boot of course sorry I shouldn't leave it out the speckled thigh flesher Bog coppers, I do, mundane Benny is very funny.

And I really want it to be that. I'm going to go bog copper. Locking in bog copper today. You sounded disappointed by that, Will. Yeah, because she didn't choose mine. Bog copper, sounds like one of the giants in the BFG. It sounds like someone who caught like a serial killer

in the north The bog drowner of 64, yeah The bog copper got him Yeah Yeah The bog copper got him Yeah No bogs in

I don't know why I did a cockney accent Should have gone northern From Leeds Harry Kiel But I didn't Could you do a Leeds accent? Oh yeah This is basically it

Just a bit A bit more What do you want me to say I love Harry Kew. That's very good. Next segment. Knox Sattmont. Not sixth place.

Ars of the Valley. How would you say that in Leeds? Arse of the Valley. Oh, yeah. Bum of the Gulch, you know. Bum. Bum of the Gulch. That's way better.

Bum of the Gulch. I'll be honest, I cleared my mind. Is Gulch a word? Yeah, I think, do you know what? The thing I was actually thinking of was a map on a Halo game called Blood Gulch. No, you know, a gulch is a narrow and steep-sided ravine marking the course of a fast stream. I think that's close to a valley. It's like a wet valley.

Yeah. Yeah, I'll say. And then in Halo 2, they obviously renamed, re-made it and made it coagulation, which is also like a blood clot, which is quite nice. Halo 3, I don't think they made another one. Halo 4, I don't think they did. Then we move on to Infinite, obviously, that changed because it was more like a free open world sort of game. So that was different.

It was more online gameplay. I do enjoy the speed runs of that because of the mechanics with the grappling hook, which obviously didn't have in the first games. See, man, what I didn't tell you is Will actually won the competition to be here. It was on Reddit. Ars of the Valley, I want that to be true so much. I think the Ars of the Valley.

I think that snuck in there as a like, oh, it would never be this one. We'd never say arse, but those, I'm going to call them butterologists. Don't know what they're called. I think a butterologist sounds right. I'm now trying to work out what a butterfly expert would be called. Does anyone know in the room? Well, I'm...

A leperdoctorist. What? A leperdoctoris? Leopard... I'm not going to... Someone who adopts lepers. Did you say lepers or leopards? Leppers.

Leppers. Hey. someone who adopted... You can't own a leopard. I know a guy who would have adopted a leper or two in his day. I'd love to... I've got a great book about him, you might enjoy. A really good book, if you would.

Oh, yeah. All right, these are who wrote the answers. Does Us Cross? So, mundane Benny. That was actually written by Katie, the question writer, okay, the house. Good work, Katie. The house also wrote Wistful Flapper. yeah that is good as well

the tattooed boot was Will yeah and full disclosure this person in the front row with a tattoo of the butterfly wearing a boot and it's a really nice tattoo and I was like well that's the say again

you did it you tattooed your own you tattooed yourself wow I feel like that's the same as trying to tickle yourself it doesn't work it just doesn't do it

yeah because it's down here Like, there's not that you tattooed yourself is that you did it down there. That's fucking crazy. That's so cool. I've got a tattoo, but I want to get more. It's so small. So it's basically, it's called the crack of dawn.

You can all see me in the interval if you want to see it close up. It's basically the sun coming over two hills, but the two hills are a butt. Whoa. That's the ass of a valley. Whoa! It's a sign. Ah, I chose the wrong answer.

Which is what Will went for, and Beck did write it. I did, yeah, as soon as I took out the title, I was like, you idiot, Beck, they'll all realize. This is going to surprise some. The speckled thigh flesher was Giles. Yeah, I appreciate that lack of applause or noise. It makes me hungry now. The speckled thigh flesher?

Yeah, it makes me, like, after the first one, your first, now I just want KFC. Yeah, yeah, I'm going to leave the thigh jokes now because we've lost the audience with the thighs, I think. I think you'll get them in, like, you keep going. I think it's, do the Stuart Lee thing, where you just keep doing it until it becomes funny again. What I can see is 26 more questions.

Great. So this is great. The correct answer is bog copper. Beck got two points again. Yeah. I don't think that's, I don't think that's ever happened before. You've got 100% of the points a third of the way through the game. You're flying.

And you know what? I've never worn a cap on stage before. So thank you, front row audience member. I tell you what. The head herpes are going to be worth it in this case. I've got sexually transmitted smartness. Why did I go for the sexual part? Yeah.

Also, STD, smart transmitted. Like, it was right there. I've used it all up. Question three. My fleshman's gone. Question three comes from Rachel Rook from New South Wales. Question is, what was track number four on the 1988 Frank Zapper album, Broadway the Hardway? So you're just going to come up with a Frank Zapper song title.

Any Frank Zapper fans in? That enthusiasm was huge. Yep. I hope the mark picked it up. No tips then. You'll know, I guess. Yes or no, you know? I'm just, you get a laugh if you say the same thing yet.

Pretend I didn't explain to it. Do you know this song? Fucking hell. I want to talk about Halo again. All right, do you want me to tell you more about this bog copper butterfly? It's really dull, so I figure I'll try and read it more sense. Oh, do you want to read it, because you've written your answer already? Do you want to read it in Leeds?

Oh, Kirstama or Leeds? That's not a question that's ever been asked before. Leeds? Discouraged the left of the country are. I don't want to hear about Kiss Timer anymore. Talk about the red wall. Upaside of male brownish with purple. Oh, sorry.

I've got to read all of it. Family. Can't pronounce that. That wasn't a disparaging comment on the education system in Leeds, by the way. Although Liz Trust did go to school there, it doesn't... Don't worry about it.

Identification, upper side of male, brownish with purple iridescence. Female, dull grey, brown. That feels mean. Undiside of both sides. sex is white or pale tan, hind wing with very small black spots and red zigzag border on outer margin. Wingspan, glad you asked, 7.8, 1 inch, 2.2 to 2.5 centimetres. Yeah, we're right.

He'll keep talking until you're tight. No, we're good, no, we're good, yeah. Males perch on low plants to watch for females. We're not so different. Question three, what was track number four on the 1988 Frank Zapper album, Broadway, the Harbour? way. Here are your options. Hard way. Option two, bully for you, Mr. Magoo. Option three, Jesus thinks you're a jerk.

Feels like that might have been directed at you and your... Then you've got option four, mother needs essential massage. I'm loving some of these. audible reactions from the audience tonight. They're feeling a range of emotions. Mainly shock and disgust. Then you've got Buckingham Palace? More like Suckingham

Phallis. I really hope that's real. Or finally, zip, zap, zop, get me the mop. I should say that the last one's always Giles. It should be

zipper, zapper, zopper. Oh, do you want to punch it up? Yeah, I'll just quickly change it. Yeah, if you can change that. All right, I'll go through them again quickly. So you got Hardway, bully for you, Mr. Magoo, Jesus thinks you're a jerk.

Mother needs a central massage. Buckingham Palace, more like sucking amp fallace or zippa-zapper zopper. Get me the mop. And I like thighs. How dare you. No, I did have to put, I did have to put out a bit of your move and start aggressively going towards them. So don't worry. It does work.

All right, Will, what are you thinking? I'm thinking none of them sound real. Hardway is too obvious. The Jesus is a jerk. Magoo! If anyone's written a song with Mr. Magoo in it, that's mental. Mr. Magoo sounds, that's like, it's silly. I think Frank Zappa didn't do silly, did he? I honestly don't know who Frank Zapper is. I know the name, like I've lived, I'm 34, I know what the world is and stuff. And I could be like, oh yeah, Frank Zappa song. Oh, yeah, it's a Frank Zappa.

I don't fucking know. I have no idea. It feels like a bad Freddie Mercury is what I have in my head. Is that anywhere near? They both have mustaches. Hey, pretty smart. Whenever I picture of Frank Zappa, my brain goes, here it is. And it shows me a picture of Slash, and I'm like, no, that's slash.

And then it goes, oh, yeah, you're right. And then it goes, no, I don't have one of Frank Zappa. And I always know, that's not what he looks like. But I can never get a hat out of my head. Oh, he does? Do you know what? If he wore a big hat and he's got long hair, he looks like the Disney version of Captain Hook.

Yes. Like the animated one. Not Dustin Hoffman, not Jason Isaacs, but he looks like the animated one. That process you go through with your mind is so great. Do you not have that? You're going, can I access a picture from my memory, please? your brain's like, here you go.

No, no, no, not that one. That's awesome. Do your brain, all right? No, but I like that with the Jason Isox. It means you've seen the 2003 Peter Pan film, which I think is an underrated gem. It's that they used to play it on terrestrial television all the time. I got to interview him last year at Belgium. Peter or Jason Isaacs?

Jason Isaacs, and I told him that I'm a big fan of his hook. Anyway, this is another conversation. He's lovely, by the way. He's exactly what you want him to be, just in case anyone was like, he seems cool he is and I'm going to regret this when he gets cancelled in a few years I'm sure of now will do you have an answer nope okay uh you get to choose no I think Jesus Christ give me a lot this evening that crossing joke that really will help me and the Poe is over there um so I think it's the Jesus Christ right locking in Jesus Ben what are you thinking

um just though I should say your instincts so far has always led you to Beck's fake answer so I don't want to put any doubt in your mind although I'm kind of trying to do that as well. You're definitively pointing down my mind. I don't know if it's a double bluff. I think it can't be Hardway because Broadway, it's Broadway to Hardway is the... Broadway the Hardway the Hardway.

Because Broadway would be the first one. The would be the second one. Hardway would only be the third track, not the fourth. I don't know what the fourth is. There's only three tracks on, I'm guessing. I don't think it'll be... I think it's Mr. Magoo. Bully for you, Mr. Magoo.

Bully for you feels like such a phrase of the time. Yeah. So does Socking and Pallets, to be fair. Oh, that is good. I think it's too good. I think if he could think of that, he would be doing stand-up and not music. I reckon if he could think of that, he'd still be alive today. I don't know.

Did he die? I don't know much about him. Yeah, how did Frank Zappa die? A crocodile, I think, ate him, didn't he? Whoa. Oh, my God. And when that happened, there was a lot of blood and someone was like, Zipper, Zappa, Zopper.

Yeah, more like Frank Snapper. No, that didn't deserve it. That was bad. You'll know when he deserves it because he'll stand up and sort of come at you. I'll do another religious pose. All right, here's the right the answer. Zippa Zappa, Zopper, Zappa, Zopper, get the mop and I like thighs.

That was Giles. What? I love the audience played along it's very pantomime Hardway was Will thank you yeah

thanks mum speaking of mum mother needs a sensual massage that was Beck yeah you all sounded so disgusted but you know what mothers deserve sensual massage

is just as much as everyone else but it sounds like the kid was saying I think that's an issue Mums need for sure But my mum I think Liz deserves all the happiness But I don't know if I want to set To me it was like

I was reading it like your mum Liz Was saying mother needs essential massage She's Scottish though if you could give that a go I was there this morning So I should be able to do this I think you pick it up pretty quick Lockness Monster The Pali

Okay, here we go We joby Okay Mother needs a sensual massage That was What in there I feel at home My synams

Stuart is actually a Scottish origin name So it's kind of in my blood, mate So that came pretty easily to me In your blood not your mouth but in your blood that's a great tagline I don't know what it's for but I like it

Jesus said that in your blood not on your mouth but in your blood Buckingham Palace more like suckingham phallis that was the house well done house

bully for you Mr Magoo Beck went for that but that was actually Rachel the question order okay the house oh well done Rachel and that means Will is correct it is Jesus thinks you're a jerk

you're sneaking man you're a big Fix me. I question myself. I real, part of me was just like, oh, imagine if Beck did a clean sweep for the whole night. Yeah. So I was kind of trying to fuck you into that.

Okay. You know what now? Yeah. Pologies for the phrasezine. Now you sound like you're from Scotland. Question number four comes from Matt Rowe from Stanmore, and the question is, what is the unappetizing-sounding sounding name

of a type of delicious morgue Moroccan bread. Very convoluted question. You've got to just come up with a name of a delicious Moroccan bread, but that name maybe sounds a little unappetising while you're writing your answers. Oh, do you have a Skype date for us, Giles? Yeah, I do. So in joint second, to put it politely, we have Will and The House.

Love that. And racing ahead with four points is Beck. Thank you. According to Rachel, this is about Zappa's song. The song was written about TV evangelist Jim Backer or Baker. Jim Baker, yeah. And on Reddit, Henry Fondell writes. Wait, is that his name or?

That's his username, anyway. Henry Fumble writes. Yeah, Henry Fondel. Oh, Fondle. Yeah, a bit of fun. He writes, Jesus thinks you're a jerk is Frank's greatest piece of satire. And by extension, one of the greatest pieces of satire ever made. It is really refreshing to see how he refocused his material back together in the late 80s

after something of a juvenile immature period in the 70s and early 80s. Jesus thinks you're a jerk as frank at his most lethal, but also his most conscious. He saw right through the televangelist movement, but still wisely regarded as a threat and informed his audience. The way it was structured is also stunning, spanning almost nine minutes and flowing through show-tuny themes and different tempos, especially on the 88 live US show version, where it was immediately followed by Sofa providing a wonderful instrumental respite.

What an individual mind. His name should be Henry Edging. Mr. Fondell clearly had never heard the phrase Buckingham Palace, more like Suckingham Palace. Hey, like I've never heard of anyone be so into something. See, this is why Frank Zappa was not a comedian Because like When a musician does satire

You go, yeah, amusing But you know, he's no Insert comedian's name Nishkuma Yes, there we go, he's no Nishkuma That's what they say, isn't it? No, Frank Zappa, no Nish Kumar I think that

But he was so, like, oh, he really satirised Televangelism Like it was something no one of Like, didn't, like, fabulous Phil Collins do that as well? Jesus, some Jesus song? Well, I think televangelism was very big around that time. Yeah, you know, so it was just like, all right, Frank did it, and so did Phil. So.

And Phil was in a band called Genesis. Oh, my God. And I think that actually is the band that did that song. But was he lethal and conscious is the question. Oh, my God. Was he lethal unconscious? Okay. It also suggests that Frank Zappa was unconscious when he wrote all of his other songs,

like in his sleep, just like, ah. Just like he was awake and killed someone. While you're still writing around, so let's go for a quick break. ACAS powers the world's best podcast. Here's the show that we recommend. A new season of Love Me is here. Real stories of real, complicated relationships. It's not even like a gender.

I mean, it's wrapped up in gender, but it's just a really deep self-hate. I think I cried almost every day. I just stole myself on the floor. It's coming on really straight. It's like he's trying to date you all of the sudden. Yeah, and I do look like my mother. Love me. Available now wherever you get your podcasts.

A-Cast helps creators long. Watch, grow, and monetize their podcast everywhere. Acast.com Okay, your answers are in. So here is question number four. What is the unappetizing sounding name of a type of delicious Moroccan bread? Here are your options. Hyena poop.

Meseeman. Gunk. yucky mark or it might be yukimuk there's umlouts over the use yukimuk unappetizing bread or juicy thighs in a couple of pies that is a wild name for bread um so back it's your turn you got hyena poop you got mesemin which to me sounds like you know you're tipping you got my seaman Gunk, Yuki Mook or Yuki Muck

Unappetitizing bread and juicy thighs in a couple of pies I think I'm going to go for Yucky Muck or Yuki Mook sounds like because someone's thought, if it is made up someone's gone like what would make this believable, the spelling? Yeah. I think I'm going to go for Maseemun. that's why we needed hats so we can tip them yeah we've all said it yeah all right well

what do you think well i thought that beck had invented yucky muck and that my seaman was the right answer or am i really good at and you're choosing your own bluffing seaman yeah i don't know but you can't pick your own answer i believe that's true oh that's good to know i wouldn't have done mine's terrible. I was struggling with the concept of how one gets just your thighs in some pies. Because like

fingers in pies are obvious, but just your thighs. You haven't seen American pie then. I'm pretty, I don't mean to spoil this, I think his penis was in the pie. Yeah, but there's thigh as well.

Spoilers. They didn't say thighs exclusively. I think that was implied. But I, but did you... In pie. Sorry, it was in pie. But don't look at me, it might not be me. Give me the house. You wrote gunk.

Yeah. I think, I think, I'm going to go with that. I think that's a smart... Two Meseemans. Two Mismissimans? Moseemann. Imagine if Barman just walked up to us right now with some glasses. We got straws, please, Marmon.

We have a couple of straws. Charles, I really haven't given you much. You want to go through who wrote the answers? Sure, I'm very happy not doing anything. Okay, well, here's who wrote the answers. Yeah, you've got a mic stand and you barely use it. No, I have no. This has been great.

I've just been waving. No, it's genuinely I can do this, so it's great. For those at home, I'm slightly moving the laptop. So thank you, Hendrix. I was going to pick another gin name as a joke, but I couldn't think I want to quickly, so I just stick with this name. Gin Marais, Bombay, Tarko, Tamp.

Cheers, Bombay, Sapphire, in the tech box. It's not funny. We'll add in the laugh afterwards. It's fine. He wrote the answers. Juicy thighs and a couple of pies. Oh, my God, this will shock you. That was Giles.

What? Unappetizing bread. That was Beck. Yuki Muk, that was the house. Gunk, that was Will. Which is what your ears full of, I guess. Yeah, yeah. Where do you get your ideas?

Just here. Hyena poop. That was by Matt, the question, right? Okay, the house. meaning you're both correct. It is Miss Seaman. Yay. I never thought I would cheer at someone saying,

it's Miss Seaman. Yay! I'm going to do that next time, though. You'll say, oh, delicious. So, Charles, that's a point for Will and a point for Beck. Yep. I was about to spoonerize your name there, Bill and Wack. Excellent adventure.

Yeah. Yes. And it's so, you know, when you're like, oh, it's about to make a mistake, I didn't. Here's the mistake I was going to. Too honest, if anything. You sound like my mum. You don't sound like my mum. She's pointing at me.

Here's a mistake I made earlier. Funny a lot. My mom's lovely. I'm sorry. I could use a sensual. She does need a central message. Question five comes from a Locky Toos from Neutral Bay. And the question is, how did the ancient Greek

athlete, Milo of Croton die. How did the ancient athlete, Greek athlete, Milo of Croton die. While you're writing your answers, here's some more info about my semen. Sorry, actually, no, I'm not going to know, I'll talk about the bread. While you're still writing, great, so here's some more information about that

flatbread. Matt writes, it's a traditional flat bread, originally from the margreb, and commonly found in Algeria, Morocco and Tunisia. The dough is made of flour, durum wheat. semolina, dry yeast, melted butter, salt, sugar, and you've got your answers in by looks at it, so I don't need to... I think you're going to say,

and semen. The secret ingredient. Does say serve them warm, so... All right, the answers are in for our penultimate question here. How did the ancient Greek athlete Milo of Croton die?

Here are your options. The first recorded nut allergy death. How have you made that weird? Come, come us with the nuts. Oh, that is cheeky indeed. Option two, whilst trying to entertain the crowd, he absent Martinly wandered onto the javelin field.

And that just ends with a dot, dot, dot. I think you get the rest, I guess. What's that called again, the dot, dot, dot? An ellipsis. Ellipsis, thank you so much. So, Milo, how did he die? Nud allergy, javelin field. Option three, while competing in the marathon, he panicked,

forgot how to turn, meaning he ran into the sea where he drowned. Option four, while trying to split a tree stump in half with his bare hands, his fingers got stuck, leaving him unable to defend himself from a wolf attack. Dound in soup. Or finally, playing Halo. one to three starting Halo 4 and realizing this is shit before checking out some sweet juicy thighs on the internet and dying. People don't talk enough about Master Chief's thighs, they're big.

Spartan 117, come on, guys, we know Master Chief. My people. I can't remember who's first this time. Maybe it's you will. I think it's my turn? Yeah, what do you reckon? How do you think Milo died? I don't think there was a marathon yet.

I think that got invented then. Someone mentioned a marathon in there. Yeah, the one where he forgot how to turn. Yeah. But the reason you're ruling it out is because of the marathon. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That seems unbelievable. The soup one doesn't feel real.

The Halo one, obviously, I made up. And then, yeah, I think it's probably the... Not the nut allergy. Not allergy, javelin. Javelin, it's the javelin. I think he got... That is how I would die. I'm probably going to walk out here celebrating and fall down a step.

Do you think javelin's more recent than the marathon? No, less recent. Doesn't matter. It's based on spears. Yeah, that's true. That's probably been around. But I mean, Marathon is based on just running. That's also been around for a bit.

Do you not know the story of how marathon... Yeah, but what's like in the Greek thing? Yeah, but like... There can't be two facts about marathons from then. That's too many facts from the past. Yeah, that's true. That's true. Good point.

Beck, what do you reckon? I think it's javelin as well. It just feels like a real... Like, it feels like the first recorded death in the book of the Darwin Awards. Yeah. All right. Well, they're locked in. So this is who wrote the answers.

The one about Halo and sweet, juicy thighs. Will wanted to clam it, but I'm afraid that was Giles. drowned in soup that was back you famously don't see sorry tinta rubby you don't see master chief's thighs ever he's wearing the spartan suit you never see him even in the halo series

I don't think you see the actor's thighs he must as he's face master chutes master chief master chief okay so he was like put in this program where they trained super soldiers and he went rogue

they put AIs in their helmets as you know Cortana was his but then she then ended up going we'll talk about afterwards in the interval whatever yeah yeah I'm looking forward to it do you have a substack no by which I mean a stack of

subs that I have a tumbler is that cool yeah I heard someone go oh like first recorded nut allergy death that was will oh they did not like that at all I don't think I've heard a room that silent before I have I do want to say that will did step over like I was real proud of drowned in soup and I just want to yeah I did step over that I'm so sorry Croton, Croton, Milo of Cruton. But what if that was how croutons became a thing? Yes. If they were named after this athlete, he drowned in a cauldron.

Because you can drown like even face down in a bowl, right? That's true, yeah. I think we should spread this, right? Everyone here and everyone listening, we should just start a rumor that croutons were named after Milo of Cruton who drowned in soup. Greek athlete They hate really well-formulated puns done on the fly They hate them

That was fucking great I think you need an extra point If I got a point in that Which I know I didn't I'd donate it to Beck Well I mean Charles you can do whatever you want With the points if you want to give

So you're saying if you get a point You want it donated to back At any point I don't want your charity Okay can I give everyone to the audience Yes I mean I don't know why I'm not going to Keep in that point for me

you dweeps I'm very confused by the current story but yeah the audience are winning I think forgetting how to turn and drowning that was the house it's so funny it's really good

you both went for javelin field I'm afraid that was Lockie the question writer okay the house fair play lucky meaning the correct answer you did not even consider it did not discuss it

it is while trying to split a tree stump in half with his bare hands his fingers got stuck leaving him unable to himself from a wolf attack do you know what I'm dropping the crouton thing like that is definitely he should be remembered

from that all right so boy you didn't cry wool but do you know what okay this is the best thing right so there's two ways that they could find this out one is that they found his corpse

that had been attacked savage by wolves with his hand stuck in the tree trunk and they had to like oh I think I can see what's happened here. He tried to karate. They wouldn't say karate, but he tried to chop this tree trunk.

Or they watched it happen and no one stopped it. They were like, well, you brought this on yourself, Milo. I have to record this for a podcast for any years in the future. So two points for the house there, Giles. And we go on to the final question, which comes from Tessa Wynne from Lonseston. And the question is, what is the synopsis of Patrick Quinn?

Finland's 2014 novel sex bot. We normally finish with a movie synopsis. We're doing a book synopsis this time. 2014 novel sex bot. What is the plot synopsis there? And while your answer is being written, so excited to tell the audience about the story of Milo. There's a kind of Wikipedia.

Milo was born in 540 and was a six-time winner at the Olympics, Once for boys wrestling in 540 BC, the 60th Olympics, I think that was he was a boy as well. There wasn't an event where you got to wrestle a boy. I don't know, I'm only assuming that. But he also won five times for the adult wrestling from the 62nd of the 66th Olympics. He continued competing long after what would have been considered

a normal Olympic athlete prime and would have been over 40 years of age by the 67th Olympiad when he retired. Ancient sources and legends report that Milo took great pleasure in showing off his strength. He had a number of feats he would perform, such as holding out his arm with his fingers outstretched and challenging people to attempt to bend his little finger.

Pretty cool. He also had standing on a greased iron disc and challenging people to push him off it. He also had holding a pomegranate. it in one hand and challenging others to take it from him? Sounds like a real cooque, this guy. Nobody ever succeeded, though, and the fruit was never damaged, despite him holding it very tightly.

So he's both strong and tender. Like a thigh. In what would become his most famous feat of strength, Milo trained in the off years by carrying a newborn calf on his back every day until the Olympics took place by which time he would be carrying a four-year-old cow on his back he then carried the adult cow

the length of the stadium before killing, roasting and eating it. Like I think that's pretty sick by both meanings of the word. Legend has it that Milo's penchant for showing off his strength was his eventual undoing in 511 BC.

He traveled the countryside and met a villager who was struggling to split a tree stump with a hammer and wedges. Milo excitedly asked the man if he could attempt to split the wood with his bare hands. The villager, honored by his offer, went off to get food while Milo worked. Like he was stoked. He was like, holy shit. This legend's going to split a trunk for me. But he left.

He's like, I've got to feed this man. What an honor. Milo immediately tried to pull the stump apart by inserting his fingers into the crack of the stump where the villager had driven the wedges but as he pulled the stump open the wedges fell out and trapped his fingers without the wedges to hold the crack open Milo could not free his fingers from the stump and instead opted to wait for the villager to return so he just sort of sitting there twiddling his thumbs if he could he would be the

legend says that Milo unable to defend himself was then killed by wolves or a lion before the

villager returned Milo's death became a popular subject in art in the late Italian renaissance

of I think a land of that renaissance who continued around the year 1900 and

allowed the sculpture sculptor to show his skill in a automatic anatomical pose. So there's like heaps of sculpted artworks

displaying a man being eaten by wolves while his hands are stuck in a trunk. Now that I'm saying, you're like, oh yes, yes, yes. We see them. We see them every street corner. All right, final question. What is the synopsis of Patrick Quinlan's 2014 novel sex spot? Here are your options.

If Greg isn't two things, lonely and horny, he is no things. Going for a walk to clear his mind, he reaches a crossroads where he makes a deal with the devil. That deal, well, let's just say if he accepted it, he would be the owner of the world's most advanced sex toy, the Babelicious Bot 3,000. I should say that Crossroads is the name of an adult store and the devil is the nickname of its manager. The deal he made was just a classic money in exchange for a product kind of thing. That's option one. If that was on the back of the book.

I should say. Yeah, I should say. First person. Listen, this really got away from me. You might want to read the book to find this out. I'll just tell you now, actually. I don't want to waste any time. I don't want to be a burden.

Option two, what if the A in a bomb stood for Aphrodisiac, less I am become death, more I am come. A bomb? A bomb. I was like, what's this? A bomb. Like a plumb. Option three.

Robotics engineer Susan Jones has discovered the key to immortality, downloading human awareness into intelligent machines. About to be murdered for her secret, she downloads herself into the most intelligent machine available, sexpot number nine. The world's most advanced sex toy. On the run, both alive and dead, Susan Jones, now number nine, sets off to solve and avenge her own murder. There we got. In a future where the earth has been abandoned by humans due to overpopulation, a lonely sex bot is left to continue its program to routine, trying to pleasure everything it comes into contact with.

But when a scouting robot appears from seemingly nowhere, sexbot finally might get the connection it's after. It's bawley. That's good. Or finally, Sally Menke edited all of Quentin Tarantino's films from his debut Reservoir Dogs in 1992 through Inglorious Barses, 2009, a period including Pulp Fiction, Jackie Brown,

Kill Bill, Volume 2 and Volume 1, we'd order to put that, and death-proof. She was his long-time collaborator and considered his only true, genuine collaborator by the director. She had great thighs. All right, Beck. Beck, I mean, so you got that one about Quentin Tarantino, then you've got the one about the lonely sex spot,

and humans have left. You've got Sexpot number 9. the woman who's trying to solve her own murder now that she is a sex spot. You've got, I am become death more, I am calm. Or you've got the guy who made a deal with the guy whose nickname was the devil. The deal being just a purchase. I do love that one. I think, do you know what's awful is I do think it's the number nine one.

And I also really want to read it now based on that. Like I was like, oh my gosh, yeah, of course the most. advance one would be for sex. That's why everything gets invented. Like the toaster originally, it means to heat up calm. So I have the drip tray at the bottom, yeah. Why is that horrible?

Why is that horrible? You're okay with me coming into a toaster. That's fine. But catching it is gross. I'm with them on that. Cheese on a melting. the cheese on toast is yum, but the cheese that's dripped to the bottom of the toasts are no good. Are you, are you saying you're not catching the drips and sucking them out?

Am I using toasters wrong? What's happening? When cheese on toast under the grill, when that, if you catch that on the tray below, then you've got cheese chips, or chip crisps, and I eat that. And it's, same for cum. Are you sure this was a zero percent thing? What do you think, Will? I think the sex butt number nine.

Okay. That sounds like it's a song. Also, the fact that they didn't go for 69. Maturity. I think that just, like, I think if one of us had written that, we would have gone 69. 100%. Or maybe we would have gone Babelisherspot, 3,000. That's what I wrote.

So that one is, that one about the devil and the crossroads. That was the house. 3,000 is always like the fake number one goes for with a product. Yeah, it's futuristic. Yeah, but I don't think I know a single product that actually has 3,000 in it. Andre Yeah Fantastic project

I stand corrected Yeah Sex bot number nine Was by Lou Baker Wasn't it I've I know I know you all

realized this a while ago But I've only now realised A bomb Not a bomb Yeah Also I heard sex bomb Not bot

Yeah right So I was like Sex bomb that's genius and then heard bot and was like oh this is going to feel weird and then I hadn't capitalized A that's on me no I think that's on

no I think it's on me as you said I was like yeah that's how I would have read it also just to say Will was absolutely loving it on WhatsApp and actually did a second version of it was like this is great just put it in and I still didn't get it the second time yeah we should text me that instead of just saying I'm having a great time oh read out of John

actually text me okay this is not going to be worth it um sick you're great love you i'm so tired and then actually when i said the final one he just said just this question mark which should have been a red flag i was trying to distract back with my own sounds the one about quentin tarantino was giles uh the one about uh the abandoned and lonely sex bot uh which will called bally i which i just got as well that was beck thank you thank you i mean i did just steal the plot entirely, so...

I really liked it. And that means you are both correct. Sex bot number nine is real. Yes. So you thought it was sex bomb? I heard sex bomb. There's so much... Oh, sex bum.

No, bomb. B-O-M-B. Oh, that's a Leeds accent. Yeah. Imagine I heard sex bum, and I was like, I'll talk about Oppenheimer. That's what I thought. You were so excited. And what's that thing?

I was like, I don't get the F-E-U. I forgot to say that round. I was worth triple points, but really didn't matter because you both got one each. Well, that means three each, really. So I'll get the final score off you in a second, Giles. Before I do, according to Tessa, she came across the book.

Gross. Books are we so cold. Put it in the toast, Tessa. Her husband always brings home what she describes as weird and wonderful, withdrawn from circulation, freebie books from the library. This was one of them, but neither of them have actually read it.

One positive review calls it a turbocharged tour de force. Was that Dave Fondell? Whereas a negative review reads, great idea, starts really promisingly. I mean, that's a fleshment. That's a fleshment. Fizzles out as though the author either forgot what he wanted to say or couldn't be bothered.

Pity. All right, final score check. I love it if it just went. And then she just like fades out. Elypsis. Yeah, it's the same as the copy. Yeah. Okay, final scores on the door.

So the house coming in last with three points. I went from booze to pity sounds. Yeah. Second, starting on a very back-to-back zeros, but getting up all the way to four is Will. but again fleshmenting it from the start and fleshmenting it to the end maybe is Beck with seven points yay congratulations Beck I'm genuinely so proud genuinely upset where can people find you back I'm on I'm online as Beck Hill comedian or Beach Hill comedian

if you read it wrong. Many people do. Yeah, comment on any of my posts with Fleshment and we'll be friends for life. Can we all do that? Can we go to Beck's pinned post and everyone has Instagram just fleshment, every single one of us.

That would be so weird. Please do that. And yeah, you know what it would be perfect is if, like, at first you do it really well, and we all sort of fall off. Yeah, yeah. So it's just flesh dot, dot, dot. Will, where can we find you?

I'm on this Halo forum called High Impact Halo. I'm Will Seabag Montefiore. Good luck spelling that. It took me 10 years. W-S-E-B-A-G online. Awesome. Thanks so much for joining. It's been a real thrill.

Big round of applause for our guests. I should say, Giles, do you want to tell the audience about how they can get involved with Cheapleafel Festival? Yeah, if anyone, you won't have to see me, don't worry. In October, Cheerful Podcast Festival, your favourite funny podcast is happening in London. That's nice and near it. In Melbourne, Matt is doing it. He's going to get Jetlagged the other way and do it in Melbourne, and anyone who's in New York as well. We're doing three days there.

So come along. It's really fun. Oh, and Will's doing it. I'm doing that with my podcast. So it would be great, and we'll talk about Fleshment all the time, and I won't explain it to my co-host. Oh, cool. That sounds great that everyone here with the podcast is doing the cheerful yearful festival.

You are... Burke, do you have a podcast? Yes, I do, actually. We still have slots. I just, yeah, do you have an agent? Because then a nightmare to get past. We got your WhatsApp now. You can come to me direct, yeah.

It's called a Problem Squared, and it's with a mathematician called Matt Parker, who does stand-up maths on YouTube. And that, from the amount of people that were into your Halo stuff, I think there's going to be quite a big Vendaragram intersection. Big round of applause for our guests. And Hendrix. All the next. Ginny.

Best served with cucumber, baby. All the stuff here. Cheers for tuning in to who knew with Matt Stewart. Now that you know it, I've been Matt's show it. Goodbye. Goodbye. Sorry, is that a word? Cool.

Excellent. Thank you. We should check this already. Nits, anything like that? Yeah, do now. Head herpes. is that one is that a thing yeah

yeah is that I wouldn't even know mate we're on to you buddy all right oh hey should we start the show this is how it works you can't read this this is I haven't really thought this through that wasn't an instruction should I move to that seat

I think I've sort of ruined everything because I have loads of wax in this ear which is not really a brag but I can't hear out this ear at the minute so I was like can I sit on this side but I've fucked everything up Oh yeah, I could have helped but I just watched

I had in Adelaide you had us on stools as well and it's the least you give us a drink I'm really I'm really worried You produced the event I didn't ask for any tables I think Hendricks just having a whale of a type

but yeah Hendricks does sound not tables Yeah I'll get you to talk to the mark when you speak that would be great that's embarrassing I thought

I thought you've edited this guy the embarrassing thing is he asked me the funny thing is how do I sort mic I don't know the funny thing is he also asked me to be on and I said all right mate I gave a little pat

hey make a wish it's granted you do have a little a look about you, but all right. I'm just happy to be here. I'm in the top tier of Patreon if you pay enough. I'll just let you be in a show before, you know. For the benefit of the listener,

Giles also has a cap, but no beard. Yes, that's true. Which adds to the... That you can see. Yeah, that you can see. Did my explanation make sense to you there, sir? Oh. Heard it in cue.

I love how you don't talk your own language right. Heard it in cue. Roasted, mate. You don't come to the bad boy of comedy show and I'd expect to get a little bit of fucking fire. I am so jet-lan. It feels like I'm sleeping through this. I like to think that they didn't mean the queue.

They're talking about Q as in like Q gardens, the suburb of London. Just walking around the gardens and someone was like, you know what, I might go see Who knew it with Matt Stewart in Cambridge tonight? And then you're like, oh, that sounds good. We should follow them. If I can jump in, I think that they said to the queue and we didn't hear it. Oh, okay.

Fair to say? Yeah. Not as funny. Factual. Yeah. If I could jump in, I'm just happy to be here. Hendrix, are you recording this individually? If I put my mic in here, is that all right?

Or does that go in the mix? Okay, I won't do that then. That's great. Oh, thank you. Oh. Hendricks, would it be hard to get a mic stand for Giles? Thank you. Sorry. Are you used to dealing with professionals? This room does have a little bit of an amateur hour, too, doesn't it?

Not you. Yeah, this setup's great, I just meant. The fact that we had to go outside in order to come in at the side of the stage. I imagine J1 and J2 are fantastic. J3. J3, you're coming in from the car park. I think this was the car park. Fleshment. Round of a pause of Hendricks, please. That's so good.

You feel like you're on the backstreet boys? You feel like you're on the backstreet boys. That's the sentence you just said. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, the backstreet boys who famously had wireless mics while sitting down on the stools. Okay. I'm pretty sure you're thinking of Westlife anyway.

But carry on, sorry. No, this would be one of their serious songs. Would it? Yeah. But they'd be like, we are. Hand. Oh, right. No, because one of them's got to do the admin.

The one that wasn't Kevin. I forget all their names. I would have just guessed Kevin, so I think we... Maybe it was, Kevin is more of an admin name. No offences to any Kevin's. Any Kevin's in? Admin is crucial. Yeah.

Is that the Ronan, Katie? one? That was West Life, I think. He's not Kevin anyway. No, famously not. Here are your... Karstama. Sorry, that's our prime minister now, just so you know.

I saw in a news article he's Sir Karstama. Sir Karstama. Do you have a... The prime ministers are not. Is that right? No, he was already. They didn't just give it to him. Oh, okay.

He was like, I might as well you give this as well. Why, anyway, that feels weird. You voted for a night. Yeah, I... Yeah, but it was... We just voted for not the others. We didn't really vote for a night, and we were like,

I guess there's a knight there. Do you know what? It'd be so much better if it was an actual night. Yeah, if he wore a suit of armour, he could cut as many disability payments as I was. Fair enough. Yeah. He's wearing a suit of armour, who gives a shit.

He made count bin face. I would double team it, yeah. Or bonfuss, don't say. Were you sat... How did you do this? Tets a bed, foot up, bent over. It makes sense. That's how I do it as well.

That's incredible. Do you have a card? Oh. It would be so cool if you were like, yeah, right here. Yeah. The QR code. Have you ever tattooed a QR code? Could you do that?

Yeah, cool. You've tattooed fingerprints onto someone's skin. Onto their fingers? Is that how they... They changed them after doing crimes. That's true, yeah. Correct. Yeah, why thighs?

The first one is something to do with thighs? No. Did it not? No, it was really incongruous, I'd say. Yeah, you're right. Didn't have anything to do with it. I don't know, I just got thighs on the brain. Hey, everyone's got their things, Josh.

You're a thigh man. When people go, tits are ass man, you go, I'll choose other. Have you seen the thighs on that barista? They look amazing. Wow, she's got haunched for days. Which is actually from a halo map. In the break, I'm going to ask what any of that meant. Halo map.

Okay. Well, HALA's like this big ring. It's sort of built by the forerunners. As built as a system of weapons against the flood, which is of the zombie hoard. Was that spoiler? Sorry. Sorry for no one.

I genuinely love that. I could listen to you describe obscure butterflies all day long in that accent. You sound just like a leper-adopterist-ish. Sorry, what was it again? Leppadopterist. Yeah, lepidopterist. Lepidopterist. Lepidopterist is my father, please.

Call me Jesus Christ of Nazareth. He's another one, actually. I was talking about a different guy before. He played for Leeds. All right, the answer in for question. He was very good at crossing. Come on! I enjoyed that more than you did.

I got an applause for the fucking half-hearted Leeds accent. They made an amazing Jesus football pun. I don't like football. Then, I mean, people are going to pick this up at home, but then you did a Jesus Christ crucifix pose. That was it. Yeah. It's because I didn't feel I got the laugh I deserved.

And if I walk towards the audience, they'd be like, oh! Stay back, comedian. All right. Gray stuff. That'll cut together nicely. Who edits your podcast? Connor edits your...

Cheers, Connor, Connor. Yeah. I like her. When you hear Hendrix, your first thought is Gin. Yeah, of course. The sound guy who's called Hendrix and you're like, gin? Gin.

Gin. Because it's funny, because he said you can also call me Jim, but I think that's because of Jimmy Hendrix. Or maybe I misunderstood what he was saying. Also, do you have Jimmy Hendrix over here? We have Ginny Hendricks. Yeah, that's what they should have called the gin. Ginny Hendrix.

Yeah. They really hoofed that one over the part, didn't they? Yeah. It's like they were going for some sort of professional thing. Yeah, unrelated branch. Yeah, it's almost like they have nothing to do with one. They're in a spell differently. that is really handy good stuff you can see why Jesus did it

yeah for the listeners Matt just aggressively walked towards the audience in a crucifix pose they were going to nail him down just hands by his side he's like lads can we work we workshop this yeah they tried up here look too joyful yeah to the sides strong I've written anything yet he should have kicked up his legs to the side to make a big j for his name I missed a missed a trick there everyone thought

his name was teasers where's your line this is interesting very proper oriented yeah they like talking about

semen but not when we tell them it's warm which you all know it's body temperature if it's cold it's grosser

to be honest imagine imagine oh I see cold refresh you on a hot day but I'm very jet lagged can I say that I'm so well rested I don't have any it's terrible really hoping Connor looks after us in the edit for this one yeah too me too can we do a chair for Connor I always feel for editors they don't

get enough love can we do it yeah I really thought they're about to say, no. No. No, no. Like the woman who made all about Tarantino's movies Passable. Yeah. Tarantino is a stupid little teenage boy and all these films were edited by a woman who made them good and then she died and he released

the hateful eight. Sally Menke. Sally Menke? Yeah, probably. I don't know name? I just wanted to seem like an ally. I did a show called Elipsis because I always said if I had a girl in the show I reveal I don't want kids

so I gave the show the name I would give my kid I said if I had a girl I'd call her ellipsis so her nickname could be dot because it's short for dot dot dot dot and I thought that was pretty good but I do a podcast with a mathematician called Matt Parker and when I told him this he went oh my wife

and I said if we ever had a boy we'd call him um ampersand because his nickname could be Andy and I was like oh my God that's so good so now I'm I have to put those characters into something now. Amper sand and ellipsis. Oh God, insufferable, wouldn't they be? Absolutely insufferable. They never had a chance. They'd be talking about Tarantino's female editor. Yeah, they'd know her so

name. Yeah. Manky, monkey, something like, Sally's the first name for sure. I'll look at it up. Save that in the edit, Connor. Cheers. I had great feet, apparently. Oh, so Tarantino has a foot fetish. That was just a very loose sort of attempted a little tying in there, but... That was good. Well, it would be fixing there, but don't worry about that. She went from Kill Bill to Inglorious Bastards, so that's the ones that are good, and you can tell. Well, maybe Chang and Chain.

Maybe not. Well, yeah, I reckon keep Googling and... Maybe come back to us when you have the full information. just so happy to be here just while Beck's finishing your answer I'd love to ask you please what what do you think is the

meaning of life well I think if the Halo series is taught as anything is that there's always something bigger out there and you've got to learn from things that have come before you but also you've got to look to the future and crucially you've got to try and

contain the flood because they're a zombie sort of race that are taking over the universe. Flood is. Yeah, and the forerunners obviously create these weapons to fight against them, but should we use them?

Imagine if the biblical story Noah had it all wrong. You've got to prepare for the flood. And it's like, I'll build a really big boat. And that's not going to help. You need shotguns. You need the shotgun pistol combination.

Don't try and use the plasma pistol combination because they obviously don't have shield, so that's not going to be as effective against the cover. The Covenant, you can take their shields down with one hit and change it over to another single headshot. So if that's not going to work, go in for the chest with a little thing that comes out and avoid the exploding ones. I have to apologize for how long my answer took. So I have audio processing disorder, which means that I take in all sounds and all the time, and it takes me a little bit longer sometimes.

And trying to think while other people are talking and telling stories is so hard that I basically just started to write about Milo. and then was like, nope, this is wrong, go back, one of my thoughts again, so apologies. No, your answer, you took the very standard amount of time, I should say. Just Will really pounded it out. Let's see you. He had sex ponies that got this. Well, you've read the book.

I wrote the book, maybe. Could I have a quick cheer? Who here has no idea what he's talking about with that halo stuff? Yeah. Okay, I was feeling so. alone. Glad there's a few others, but it sounds like the majority are with you. Who does?

So, Connor, you can base on that, whether to keep it in or not. That's not going in. All right. Answering for the final question, there is, like, Connor will take little outcuts throughout and put it at the end. I reckon there might be a mega cut of Halo stuff. I think it's funniest, is there will, based on how many people said, yeah, there'll be some people being like, that's not right.

He's got a passing knowledge of the Halo series, and I'm going to have a chat with him in the bar later. ACAS powers the world's best podcasts. Here's the show that we recommend. A new season of Love Me is here. Real stories of real, complicated relationships. It's not even like a gym. I mean, it's wrapped up in gender, but it's just a really deep self-hate.

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