Who Knew It with Matt Stewart - 167 - Kirsty Webeck and Ryan Jon

Episode Date: November 24, 2025

Who Knew It with Matt Stewart is a comedy game show podcast hosted by Australian comedian Matt Stewart. Episode 167 features comedians Kirsty Webeck and Ryan Jon!Check out Matt's new stand up special: https://youtu.be/ZgukEPerWZc?si=SW8PttGAB-ly_GF8And his last stand up special: https://youtu.be/cWStRpI-BhESupport the show via http://patreon.com/dogoonpod and you can submit questions for the show!See the podcast/Matt live: https://www.mattstewartcomedy.com/Check out Matt's podcast network: https://dogoonpod.com/Theme song by Evan Munro-Smith, logo by Murray Summerville and edited by Connor Schmidt! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to Who New with Matt Stewart, the show where the guests write the wrong answers. I'm the titular Matt Stewart and our first guest is performing a new material show at Good Chat in Brisbane on the 22nd of November. It's Kirstie Webeck. Hello there. I don't know when this is coming out, but I think it's before that. You know, I looked at your date into the future. Yeah, that's cool. You start on the cycle again?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. When you mentioned that date, though, I was, immediately I was like, oh, he knows what he's doing with when he's scheduling this. Because you've skipped, you've bunny hopped across a bunch of other dates, which is fine, Matt, that's fine. I get that we're not here to support my career. Well, a lot of those dates just... We're here to support you, Matt. Yeah, fuck us. They were, they coincided with stuff I was trying to plug and I didn't want to...

Yeah, yeah. But if they go to Kirsty show, then what about mine? Hey, Kirsty, our second guest this week. Oh, is there someone else here? Co-hosts the hilarious Tony and Ryan podcasters, Ryan John. Thank you. Thank you. No real-time feedback.

Podcasts are recorded in advance. Right. It's a new world for me. Unlike the writers of Sex and the City that aren't aware of that fact. So funny. Yeah, I haven't seen it, but now I kind of want to watch it. We should all go and watch Sex in the City, see people call in live to a pre-recorded show, and we should all try and figure out how the fuck that worked.

That's our homework assignment after this episode. Okay, great. I'm looking forward to that. Yeah. I hope there's a question about it. I think the whole show is going to be about that, just quietly. Yeah, this is the Sex and the City sequel special. It's called someone else.

Yeah, it's got a funny name. I don't know what it is. It's called, that's something like as we go on. Something like that. It's definitely got as in it. Yeah. As we go on. As time goes by.

As you say, yeah, I don't know. Yeah, I think it's better if we don't find out. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, we just riff on it Like the good old days before Google existed And where we just leave 20 minutes later All scratching our heads Yeah, I miss those days

I guess we'll never know And then when I'm naked in the shower Tomorrow morning thinking of you guys I go, oh, I've got it For only I can contact those guys That I'll never see again And you won't And you'll never see this again

I'll see it again I'll see a Brisbane on November 22 Boring! Shut up Ryan, I'm doing my best So the way the show works is ask a relatively obscure trivia question and our contestants have to write a convincing fake answer I then read their answers well as the real one and have to guess which one is correct and the first question comes from listener Kevin Packrad from Medford in

MA and uh that's an American state I think Massachusetts Massachusetts bloody out there's like 8M states it's hard there's a lot it's hard to know them all like could could have been Maine for instance oh what's main then I get maybe N N MN but then Minnesota. Minnesota, yeah. If I were from Maine, on my social media, in my bio, I'd write Maine character energy, but with the E on the end of Maine. That would be a lot of fun.

We should go to Maine, get some material, and that could be the name of the new show. Okay, if we can do it in the next fortnight, I'll be able to register my new show for next year under that title. Has anyone got any jokes about lobsters? So Kevin's question is, He is probably sitting with some lobsters right now. Is that a main, that's a main thing? Oh, no, but he's from maybe Massachusetts.

Yeah, he's from Massachusetts. But if you're in Maine, get a lobster roll. Okay. If you take anything from this podcast, is that. That's the big tip. And if there's any restaurants from Maine in Massachusetts, you could also see if you could get a lobster roll. They're not that far apart.

That's probably, it probably is. Yeah, but the US is tiny. It's right. It'll be a hop skip and a jump away. You could probably walk. Anyway, the question from Kevin has nothing to do with Maine or America. It's actually about a Finnish word. So you've got to tell me what's the meaning of the Finnish word.

Kalsarikarnet. Kalsarikarnet. It's almost definitely not how you pronounce it. There's an umlaid over the A. Kalsarikarnet. What does that mean? It's Finnish. Yeah.

As in Finland. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I might start. This is good already. I'm going to start the finish question. I'm so sorry. Is it too late for you to get a different guest on?

I'm making some calls quietly under the desk. Frantically DMing. Kirsty's sick. We're subbing out. Kirsty, get the sub vest on, please. You're out. Hey, while you're writing your answers, here's how the scoring works.

You get one point if you're fake answer is guest by the other contestants and another point if you correctly guess the answer and by the way I'm also playing as the house

and I've put into a moment fake answers for each question with the help of the question writer and we get a point for each one of those that I guess choose

so each of us can go up to two points per round which seems fair but the probability apparently actually favours me the house so that's why in the final round

the guests get triple points triple so really just swings it way back in your favour to be honest I'm so sorry but I didn't

listen you're not meant to no oh it was feeling while we were thinking yeah also i should say kersy you can listen to this uh thank you i'll listen we're filming have i told you we're filming episodes now is that all right oh are we no well i had no idea i would have put a face on yeah i'm sitting here faceless you can see straight into my sinuses it's horrible well maybe not this episode but often the episodes are going out in video form now on the do go on a YouTube channel. Okay. Would you like me to sign

some sort of disclaimer? Yeah. It's funny to mention that before we signed, isn't it? Just throws that out there while we're already recording. Like, well, I guess you're fucking good with that. Yeah, yeah, sucked in losers. It's actually going out live

and we're about to start taking calls. Christy and I would have won our matching outfits if we had a known this was on YouTube. Didn't you know, this episode's called As, as it goes. As we were. who knew as do go on oh my god are the answers in

I think they are all right the answers are in for question number one what is the meaning of the Finnish word calcericannet calcericannet hear your options it's the process in which food products are fortified with calcium

option two literally translates to stop talking worm a phrase yelled when you're trying to talk on the phone and somebody nearby is being too loud. Option three literally translates to, I'd rather eat demon feces.

No explanation on when that would be appropriate to say. Option four, the act of getting drunk alone at home in your underwear with no intention of going out. Well, finally, it's the Finnish pronunciation of lobster from rolls from Maine but served in Matasuchits. Matasuchits. that's it okay

we don't do spoilers on this show but my grammar and spelling is terrible I've thrown an extra from in there trying to spell

Massachusetts without a spell check is like walking through a mine field Massachusetts that's the name of your new show man that's a good one

it's a good one your main character energy I'm Matatutesis. Yeah, Matatututis. I'm so sorry. Main character energy. I butchered the potentially the real one at the end there.

Yeah. I, well, I'm, do you know what? I'm still going to lock it in. If you do, that'll be my first ever score, and this is my second episode here. Of course that was Massachusetts. Yeah. Which is also probably not how you say it. Kerser, you want to have first crack here?

I'll have. First crack. So you've got process of food, products being fortified with calcium, you've got Stop Talking Worm, you've got I'd rather eat demon feces, you've got the act of getting drunk alone in your home and your underwear, or are the Finnish lobster from rolls from Maine, from the but served in Massachusetts?

Look, it's between calcium and drunk in your underwear for me, because worm and demon feces both reek of Matt Stewart to me. Read him like a book. I'll have to change my answer. I've spent a lot of time getting into this guy's head. I am sweating. And I know it's not Matatius because that's your new show title. I'm going to go with drunk in your underwear with no intention of going out.

Okay. Lock on that in for Kirstie. I appreciate that. I was going to do the worm one. Don't let me spoil it for you. I mean, I could have misread him. Oh, no, but I read him reacting to you. What did you lock him again? I locked in drunk in your undies.

I've got a great poker face. I'm going to have to stick with it. I think it's the worm one. You've got the worst poker face in the business, Matt Stewart. Like, you simply don't have one. If I choose my own one, do I get points because someone chose my one? You can't pick your own that. We close that loophole 100 odd episodes ago.

Episode one. But it does come up a bit. It's a great. By me repeatedly. Yes. Like, I've tried it so many times. Or when it gets desperate for the points. I think I will, I'll lock in the shut up worm.

All right. You've got to, yeah, you've really got to be careful of Kirstie. She's a devious player. Diabolical, I don't even say. Diabolical. Demon feces. All right, here's the right. The answers.

As it's written, exactly, it's the Finnish pronunciation of lobster from rolls from Maine but served in Mattersuits. That was right. Kind of like mattresses a little bit, doesn't it? That was Ryan. I think that's fantastic work. Thank you. Appreciate that.

And as I realized I was ruining it halfway through and I couldn't stop. But I loved it. Then we had demon feces. That was the house. Kirstie, absolutely reading the book there. I'm shocked. Now, Kersi, you were very close to going for the one about food products being fortified with calcium. That was actually written by Kirstie.

Oh, where? Oh, I can't believe I hoodwinked myself. Yeah, you almost fell for your own. trapped there. That's how tricky I am. You're really tricky. Next level shit. Diabolical.

Now, Ryan went for Stop Talking Worm. I'm afraid that was the house as well. Kirstie was absolutely spot on there. Kevin, the question writer, wrote most of it. He wrote the phrase, yelled when you're trying to talk on the phone. And I added, literally, Stop Talking Worm. I thought I could add a little bit of. Yeah, I like that.

Little editorial. And that means, Kirsty is correct. It is the act of getting drunk alone in your under aware with no intention of going out. Yeah. What's that word again? Because I feel like I have that energy a lot. I love that energy.

Calcericanet. Calcericanet. I'm not Calcericanet on Saturday night. I've got a two-year-old, so I can't really leave. But it doesn't stop my want to drink and get naked. So I feel like I could stay home and do that in the lounge. I think that's perfect. Yeah.

Saturday night's sorted. The finish. I've never been in Finland, but that word makes me want to get over there. Yeah. Get involved in the culture. Why don't we do a live show over there? We'll do this show. Fantastic.

I'll do it. I'm free. I'm in. We'll do it. You don't know of time, but I am free. I mean, I'm free as well. We'll do it from the accommodation in our underwear. Yeah.

Yeah. Absolutely, maggot. With no intention of leaving. We'll take live calls. Well, obviously. Well, obviously. We'll have to work out of the time difference after all. All right.

Kersy scores a point in the first round. The house scores a point. Ryan yet to score. I feel a point is coming. though. Okay, thank you. I thought that was a real solid round from you. If we can trust Matt to, you know, try and shit together.

To show some leadership and some control. And some professionalism, to be honest. Yeah. Really, I mean, potentially you could submit a request for a pity point there saying as I butchered your, oh no, actually, I read it as written. I think that's, I think that's. You did, yeah, that is fair. All right, question to two different people sent this one in.

Beth Sherrett from London in England and Beeksie Stevens. from W.A. Now, again, don't know if that's Washington. Washington or Western Australia or Western Austria. Could be. There's so many options. So Beth and Beeksie's question is, what is the name of the fish recently discovered at the bottom of the Monterey Canyon off the west coast of the USA? So basically just got to come up with a fish. This particular one has only just been discovered by humans sometime recently, apparently, off the coast of the U.S. say. And while you're writing your answers, here's some more info on calcericanet. Finland.fI writes, studying a language also includes learning about another culture.

So here's a good word that might come in handy in Finland, although it's not necessarily the first thing they teach you in Finnish class. The word calcericarnet. A combination of calcari, underwear, and carnate drunkenness, calcericanet refers to those times when you You can't be bothered to go out, so you just have a drink at home in your underwear, because why dress up if you're not going anywhere? We'd call Calca Canarnet. We'd call Calca Canarnet. Oh, that's something like that.

A typical example of dry finish humour, if liquid wasn't involved, that is good stuff from the website there. The Chicago Tribune, New York Magazine, Vogue and other major publications have remarked upon this useful uniquely finish word. They found it in our collection of Finland emojis. Finland is the first country to release its own set of official national emojis.

Really? They're living in the future. They really are. They've got to figure it out in Finland. I didn't ask, Kersie, because you were tossing up between the one you made up and the real one. So you were honed in on the real one for that question.

Did you know that word? I didn't know the word, but I had seen the definition somewhere recently. So then I was like, it would check out that that person had also seen that and sent that question in. But then obviously they could have done a red herring. They could have attached that definition to a different word. And this is the thought process that I went through. But then I thought, you know what, I'm going to roll the dice? And quite frankly, I am quite chuffed that I did.

Yeah, you rolled the dice. It came up double sixes, if that's good in dice. Yeah, I mean, yeah, double sixes. Depend for Jal. You're rolling in. Yeah, true. That's exactly right. I mean, I think it's different rules in Maine to Massachusetts.

To Brunswick. A hundred percent. But, yeah, I think there's a lesson in there for all of this about risk-taking. Yes. and is it do it or don't do it do it do it yeah yeah pretty strong lesson i caught it all right question two what is the name of the fish recently discovered at the bottom of the monterey canyon off the west coast of the u.s.a big toe small fish bumpy snail fish deep dog daddy oh oh oh oh i really felt like that uh woken something in

Yeah, deep dog daddy. That's made me feel. Yeah, I'm like, well, there's my show title for next year. Monterey anglerfish or bright and early bobfish. Bigtoe small fish, bumpy snailfish, deep dog daddy, Monterey anglerfish, bright and early bobfish. What do you think, Brian? I think I'm going to lock in the last one. Bright and early bobfish?

Bright and early. It's like bright and early, not like Brighton. No, it's Brighton. early bobfish. Like Brighton, like the place in England or Melbourne. Yeah. Or other places, too, I'm sure.

Yeah, maybe on the West Coast of USA. Do they all have Rebecca Judds or just the Melbourne one? Yeah. They all are very condensed, too easy to walk around in lockdown period. Yeah, it's the, I've done all of Brighton and early bobfish. Yeah, I'll lock that one in thinking. All right. Locked in.

Kersie, what do you think? Okay. So we had the big toe small fish. Bumpy snail fish. Bumpy snail fish. Deep Dog Daddy. Monterey angler fish. Or Brighton early bobfish.

I'm going to go big toe small fish. Big toe small fish. What are you picturing? Like the whole. There's a toe on the fish. is the fish all toe or is a fish with a toe um it was a fish with a toe with a toe like a unicorn horn oh oh that's gangster a big toe just flopping out of its face above the eyes imagine it's an opposable an opposable thumb fish and chips from coburg and the fish comes out

and there's a big toe sticking out the forehead of it but still deep fried so you just see the outline of the yeah does it have a nail oh oh oh Oh, good. Would you, would you view that as good or bad if you receive that? Bad. I think health department wise bad, but I think like, would this get a few likes if I posted on the Instagram story? Probably good.

That's, I thought that's an angle you were going to taste. You'd be like, yeah. Yeah, you'd be like, this is some amazing content. Yeah, you'll be a week of episodes. I'd deep toe. I'd take that toe all the way down. Hell yeah. Yeah, I was thinking the same thing like it had a day.

depend on the time of year. Like, for example, it happened to me, like, immediately before comedy festival. Oh, yeah. I'd be cheering. Yeah, that's true. I'd be like, you know how you can make it up to me, though, Melbourne? And, you know, if it was, like, one of the big chains, you know, if it came out. Oh, like, you know, the McPhileter fish or whatever.

Do you guys have barnacle bills growing up? Barnacle bills, that was a thing. Yeah, it's like a very not successful chain of fish and ship places. they used to be on in Temple Stowe. And instead of a playground, there's just like a big old boat that some bloke left there. And I think us kids thought it was a playground.

But I think some guy just left his boat there. We're like, we're barnacle bills. Barnacle bills. I do remember. I definitely remembered. I don't know if I ever visited. I wonder if they had a tow fish on the menu. Maybe that was the end of them.

I love the idea of just dumping like a vehicle that you don't want in a shop. I'm trying to get rid of a bike at the moment. And you reckon it would work if I just leave it out of my place. I'll disappear in no time. Barnacle bills still going. I was thinking if I put into the local cafe. if the kids would just think it was something to play.

Oh, that's one of the toys. Apparently, it's been around since 1970. It's still going strong. Where is it? How many barnacle bills are there? No way. Is there one in Finland? We could, two birds, one stone this afternoon.

Also, can you confirm? It doesn't look like there's any in Victoria anymore. Two in South Australia, two in New South Wales. Can you quickly cast your eye over the menu and let us know if there's a towfish on it? Oh, to fish. He was on Neighbets. Oh, hang on. We just seen inside the process there.

It was Ryan Tofish. Oh, Tody's back. Toadie. Toad, yeah. And there's heaped in South Australia, actually. There's lots. It's big in South Australia. Is that?

And a handful in New South Wales as well. So that's where Adelaide Fringe next year, we'll detour past abarnicle bills. Yeah. South Australia's got a massive market for. a towfish. So that checks out that's where you take... Imagine an abarnacle Bill's tent at the carnival. What's it, the carnival at Fringe call?

Oh, like the garden or gluttony. Yeah, yeah. I reckon it'd be in gluttony just quietly. Like the towfish tent. Where dreams are made. Next to the oinker or whatever. You know, they're all named after pigs and something. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I think I did the piglet one year. Piglet. Yeah. Yeah, it'll be next to the piglet. You can come, actually, maybe I'll try and get the venue next year. And I can do like a deal with the towfish tent. where I can be like, you can get a ticket to my show and a tow fish afterwards.

Everyone looks under your chair. Who's not a toe? Every night, my lucky punter gets a to toe. Toast. You only do 10 shows, though. Now, I've loved living in this reality where the big toe small fish is real, but we're going to have to find out now if that's true or not. Here's who wrote the answers.

The Monterey anglerfish, that was Kirsty. That's pretty good. That sounded pretty legit. Yeah. Almost to give some real-time feedback, almost too legit. Yeah, I've got a history of that sometimes. Legitimising it. But I like to do the sort of light and shade thing because you can't trick another punter sometimes.

The Deep Dog Daddy, we're talking about if the Monterey anglerfish was light, I think Deep Dog Daddy was the shade. And that was right. And that was fantastic way. I just thought it was the deep part of the ocean. Like if I was naming it, I'd push for that. I loved it. I wish that was the real one. Yeah, same.

Once that one was thrown in, the real answer. is going to be disappointing. You know what I mean? It was better than the scientists came up with, for sure. Yeah, I love that one. As you said, Matt, like it awakened something. Yeah, I don't know. That sound that came out of you was,

it was like something deep inside of you went, yeah. Like a part of me that didn't exist before has really come alive. And you know what that was? What was that? Hi, I'm Ryan. We're going to be met just before this, God. It could be the start of something real beautiful.

Right. Ryan or Deep Dog Daddy. Oh, Dave Doggad is my last name. So, Ryan went for the bright and early bobfish. I'm afraid that was Beth and the house combining there. What was it Beth for the house? Well, we just combined. I don't think you did.

Beth wrote bright early bobfish out of the on. Oh, okay. Oh, the bright. Yeah, okay. That's a weird, Matt Stewart flourish to put on. You're like, it's just not complete. It needs on, chucked on the other. How will we get on a tangent about Beck Jarge if we don't throw a tonic?

I don't know. I don't know. I just felt like it flowed a bit nicer, but yeah, I'm sorry, Beth, if I've ruined that for you. Although it did trick Ryan. You got me, mate. The Bigtoe small fish, that was all Beaksie, aka the house. Was it? So two points of the house there.

The real one was the bumpy snail fish. Which is, it's probably a bit disappointing compared to some of the others. But if you look at it, It is a freaky-looking little thing. Oh, to be fair, if we had have seen that, well, it would have taken the toe out. Oh, you reckon I think that's all tow. Oh, yeah, you're right.

It just looks like a big toe with the face. Yeah, it's a hectic-looking thing, which, you know, deep sea, that's where the weirdest-looking guys are. Yeah, they are. Although, you know, to them, we'd look weird when we think about it. Up on my hand, that's where they're real weirdos, you know. Some of them got facial hair. Oh, spew.

So what's the beginning of it again? It's the something snailfish. Bumpy. The bumpy snailfish. Bumpy snailfish. Yeah, I think it's a pretty cute thing. It's a slow burner, isn't it? So question three comes from Fiona Clark from Raxham.

And the question is at the beginning of his career, Keanu Reeves was asked to think of a stage name. He moved to L.A. His agent said, we think you're going to be big, but Keanu Reeves, that's not a movie star name. Can you come up with one? And apparently he went away and he came up.

came back, what was the name he suggested to his agent? Oh, so obviously it got declined and he stuck in the area. Yeah, exactly. What a cool story. All right, deep dog. They obviously, they're like, no. What do you mean deep dog daddy won't work? Did it his band?

He didn't even have a family called Dog Star or something? Deep Dog Star Daddy. Deep Dog Star Daddy. While you're writing your answers, here's some more info about the bumpy to tof. No, what sort of tofish? You, in my head,

that is real now. I'm not, I'm going to struggle to remember that's not the real one. It's because we made it a product. Yes. We legitimised it by placing it in barnacle bills across the country. If Bill wants to get in touch with us, we will,

yeah, happy to chat. We would love a sponsorship for our new all-finish recorded in Finland podcast. Talk back. live podcast. This is according to BBC's Discover Wildlife It writes in 2019 Mbari Mbari sent a remotely operated vehicle

3,268 metres deep in the Monterey Canyon and came across a cute pink snailfish with big eyes and a tadpole shaped body with bumps all over swimming just above the sea floor. Now collaborators from State University of New York at Ginesco, the University of Montana and the University of Hawaii at Manoa have described the charming fish as a bumpy snailfish. It is one of three new species.

According to Beth, this is a recently discovered fish. I saw it online and thought it was perfect for the show, and he's pretty sweet too. It's so crazy to me that we're finding new animals seemingly all the time, and also has me hoping that there's a marine biologist listening to this who can take inspiration from the fabulous names that appear weekly on the show. Oh man, that'd be so good. We could see a deep dog daddy in the future. Imagine if there's a biologist out there who's just gone. My God, I just discovered it. Imagine. I didn't have a word for it before, but I'd discovered a deep dog daddy. Yeah. All right. The answer is the question number three. At the beginning

of his career, Keanu Reeves was asked to think of a stage name. What did he come up with? Charlie Silver Grande Mittens Chuck Spadina James van dercheeks or keen U. Reeves Keene U. Reves

Keene U. Kine Middle initial U. Reeves Charlie Silver Yep Grande Mittins Chuck Spadina James van der Cheeks

Orkin, you Reeves Curse I think we're back to you Oh You've got to get in the head of Keanu Reeves As a like 17 year old or whatever It's hard I love him by the way

Yeah Very lovable It seems like a very decent human So Fiona who sent in the question Sent in a link to an interview on Jimmy Fallon's tonight show Where he tells the story And he's just a, he's just a charming man.

He's a very charming man. Tells a great story. Or was the first one again, Charlie Fox. Charlie Silver. Because I'm tossing up between Charlie Silver and Chuck's vagina. Chuck's vagina. What was that? What was that one?

Chuck's vagina is my stage name. Chuck's, that's close. Chuck Spadina. You've just said the same thing, Isaac. Oh, I thought he's. He said Chuck's vagina. No. But he said the same word, but for some reason,

I absolutely, I heard Chuck's vagina as well. I'm pretty sure people listening back will, go to the tape. I mean, let us know. Vote with your fingers. Matt and Ryan said exactly the same thing, and we don't really need to talk about it anymore.

Well, I definitely heard vagina, and I don't think that would look good on the credits of a film. I thought we were going to say, just like vaginas don't look good. I would never say, say that. No.

No. No. No. No. No. Yeah. Half the, the marine animals have vaginas. Yeah.

Yeah. So, I mean, it would be inappropriate in your role. Exactly. Yeah. To be disparaging half the sea creatures out there. Exactly. At least. Bare minimum.

Bare minimum. Yeah. We don't have the data currently. So it sounds like, Ryan, you're drawn to the Chuck Charlie. I agree. I'm also into minds about. Chuck versus Charlie. So it really comes down true.

Wait, does that mean you're ruling out Grande Mittenes? I mean. James Vandercheeks, Keene U. Reeves? Yeah. That does leave Chuck Spadena and Charlie Silver. Yeah. Someone about James Vandercheek, so it's speaking to me.

Do you reckon that's the kind of name that if you didn't want to change your name and you're like, fuck you age. Yeah. You would just, like, roll in with. Yeah. Just so, as a bit of a fuck you. Yeah. Oh, you want me to give a name, have this one?

And they go, okay. Totally. Just keep Keanu then. Yeah. Okay, gotcha. You're happy with this then? James Vandercheeks? I reckon it could be like a, um, I think it's a good name for a drag king.

Yeah. Who wears asseless chaps. Right. And dresses as a Varsity Blues quarterback. It's James Vanderbeek. Yep. I love how you immediately went into explain. it well just only based on your blank expression that's but but but i didn't realize i was actually

born with that so the hurtful expression the dead dead eyes i almost instantly realized it was when a blank expression it's a difference between a blank expression and a a bored expression you're like yeah i wasn't saying i don't understand what you're saying i was saying are you still here yeah why are you still talking this guy's still here i'm gonna lock in and look I've really done a mental coin toss for this. I'm going to lock in Chuck's vagina. That's actually not an option. See, now you've done what Ryan did earlier.

Can I get Ryan to say it for me then and I'll lock that one in. Yeah, okay, great. Chuck's vagina. Okay, locked in. Are you going the same way? I think I am. Two, Chuck's. Yeah, we're both that way inclined, it seems.

Spadinas. We're betting for the same team. Just a couple of spagina lovers over here. She's trying to make the best of a bad situation. The user was the answers. Keene U. Reeves. That was Fiona. I was thinking outside the box there.

Or inside the box, maybe. I mean, we've been thinking inside the box, I think. I think that's the issue. James Vander Cheeks. That was Ryan. Very tickle-ish, that one. Sell that to someone for their drag king name. I liked it a lot.

I'll take it. Grande Mittens. That was the house. That was a bit of fun I was out of houseish I mean The word mittens has has Stuart written all over it

Yeah Mitten's Stuart I tell you what I went through I had a lot of fun with that Ones that it can just be anything It's short But it can be anything

They're fun to write You know Yeah And also really hard for us To guess that you've written them Yes Well apparently not But Charlie Silver

Which again Kirstie was tossing up between And I really thought Ryan was about to fall into that trap. That was Kirsty. Charlie Silver, but you were so close to the real first name because the real one is Chuck Spadina. Or Chuck Spadina. First time. That's amazing.

Congratulations. Thank you. I was really hoping that was going to happen when we're in our jocks in Finland. But that would have been a special moment. Well, wherever you're listening to this, take a photo and put on Instagram. say this is where I was listening to Ryan getting his first point. That's a, is this when the cake comes through the door? Yes.

We'll have to edit it out so listeners at home won't know it, but... Yeah, we'll be eating cake. Yeah. And which... Could Dave Warnocky jump out of it? Yes. He's hoping. He's hoping.

He's the only one we know that can fit inside a cake, yep. All right, the halfway mark. The score's now, Ryan, on one point. Thank you. Gersie on two points, but out in front on three points, it's the house. with thanks to the big toe fish and the bright and early bobfish that really jumped us head. Question four comes from Nick Dennis from Eddors in Pennsylvania.

And the question is, what is the name of the font created by Ben Dosell and James Lee? The font, you know, Times New Roman. Yeah, Helvetica. Helvetica. I'm like, I'm out. I'm a slut for Helvetica.

It just does be right. Same. Really. Helvetica. Yeah. Ariel. That's what I'm reading right now. Yeah, Ariel.

Yeah. So you've just got to come up with... So who are the people that invented this one? Ben Dossil and James Lee. Is it a Sanskrit, sans-sariff or... Could be. I can't remember. It's broad.

I mean, I don't know what... How old is it? Is it a new one or an old-a-fun? There's a lot of questions here. I think it's a new-ish. Can you give me a year? Sorry, saying year-weird. I don't know if I can give you a year-were.

a year, but I think it was, I think it was in the last decade or so. Oh, so I think. Yeah, new modern. I think, very interesting. Hmm. This wreaks of deep dog daddy to me. All right, while you're writing your answers, he's a little bit more info about Keanu Reeves.

According to Fiona, his second choice after they rejected Chuck Spadina was Templeton page Taylor. But Fiona says, I don't think he was very good at coming up with stage names. But yeah, you can also, if you Google it, you can watch the video of him explaining that to Jimmy Fallon. A bit of fun. Hey, and while you're still writing your answers, let's go for a quick break. All right, we're back, and the answers are in for question number four.

What is the name of the font created by Ben Dosell and James Lee? Grotesque Babanui. smell vettica I wish that was me because that's hilarious Archiveo Ugly Jerry or Horatio's Big Night Out

Okay Ryan Grotesque Bumanoi Smel Vedica Archivo Ugly Jerry Horatio's Big Night Out I just feel like

like, as someone who loves Helvetica so much, it would pain me that Smelvetica was real. Like, I'm not serious about a lot of things, but I am serious about Helvetica. So that would really hurt me. I'm going to have to look up Helvetica. Oh, it's like the OJ, like the subways in New York and like, you know, just that really clean. Oh, yeah, it's fantastic. Yeah, designers love it. Love it, yeah.

Oh, it's an, what, an elegant font. Thank you. It is elegant. Thank you. Like, Brian designed it. That actually means a lot, Matt. I've got, Tony got me a book about the history of Helvetica for a Chris Kringle last year, or whoever had me at the work one.

Oh, love it. Only Tony and I are in the, Chris, the Secret Center. That's really, we can make assumptions. Yeah, who knows who got it for you. I'm going to go with, just because I've deleted a few of those from, I'm going to go archivo. Archivo, all right. Archivo for Ryan. Kirstie, what are you thinking?

Grotesque Babanoi, Smelvetica, Archivo, Ugly Jerry, Horatio's Big Night Out. I'm going to go, Grotesque Baba Nui. Locked in. Here's who wrote the answers. I kind of, because obviously four of these aren't real, I'd like to see them all the same. I feel like I can almost picture them all. Yeah, yeah. So Horatio's Big Night Out

That was the house Elegant Gothic I thought almost Yeah It'll have a flourish There'll be a flourish It's a bit of a tilted one Yeah The letters are sort of doing

The monster match Yeah the letters are prancing along theatrically Have you seen the New Zealand movie When they're vampires And it's What we do in the shadows of? Yeah yeah What you just did was that movie.

I don't know. I don't think I've got around to seeing it, but I'd imagine it's awesome. There's a TV show apparently is great as well. You need to be in the zone. And by zone, I mean, like, smoke something and chill out or like, you know, but like really, just really embrace what's coming out. Maybe this Halloween might be the time. It might be.

Smell Vedica. That was Nick, the question writer, aka the house. So you've ordered the house there. Smelvetica, I think it would be, whatever, it would be. It'd be Helvetica, but, you know, let go a little bit. Yeah. Yeah, let's scratch and sniff. Yeah, yeah.

Or even just like regular Helvetica, but just like stink lines coming off the top, you know, like a kid would draw. Oh, smelly. Yucky. Yucky. Now, Ryan went for archivo. Yeah. That was Kirsty. Fuck.

How did you picture at Kirsty? That does sound real to me. It sounds real. It's real. Oh, it is real? Oh, is it really? Oh, that's how you get them. Okay.

It just wasn't invented by those guards. Yeah. I would have should have just gone. I told you, diabolical. Yeah. That's going to annoy some listeners, which I, I don't mind. I don't mind either. I'm willing to brace for the...

Strictly speaking, perfectly within the rules. And you... Whether or not it's within the spirit of the game, I'll leave that up to you. Yeah. Well, can I actually also tell you something... Man, it is very similar-looking... I mean... Is it similar looking?

Can I, I'll tell you something, though, about my process with that. Like, I made it up in inverted commas. And then, like, after we'd locked it in and everything, I was like, wait, I was like, I think, like, I think I've gone fully real on this. And then the more I thought about it, the more I was like, I'm pretty sure that's an actual font. So I didn't actually do it to be deceptive to begin with, but I've actually tricked Ryan and myself. I cannot, but it's, well, I'm actually fine with you tricking. me with that as you'll find out why. Because Grotesque Baba Nui,

that is Ryan. I can't for the life if you work out, what's about to happen. And so far, I've never asked a font-based question before and it sounds like I've got two real font heads in. Yeah. No, we can do a font.

Yeah, I'll do a whole font. We'll do a font off. I don't know if anyone will listen to it. We're going to do a font off live on YouTube. Yeah. From our hotel room in Finland. What the font. What the font.

And this. means the correct answer, no one got it. It's Ugly Jerry, which I have not looked up. Can I see an ugly Jerry? You didn't do the big reveal about how Ryan got me as well, though. Didn't I? No. We just assumed and moved on.

And Kirstie went for grotesque Bubba Nui. That was Ryan. Oh, no shit. Two points in a row. You didn't foreshadow that for me. But I think if you go to the tape, I did say it, but you were too busy and join yourself. Sorry. God forbid we'd have fun on this.

Godfusaken podcast. This is serious. I actually thought grotesque Bubba Nui was probably the house. But I thought that, but I really wanted to say Bubba Nui. Yeah. It's good. Oh, that ugly Jerry. That's ugly Jerry.

That is quite ugly. Wait, does that exist? Yeah. So another one got put in that exists as well. But I'm the one that's going to get the online. That's the correct answer. Oh, my gosh. The correct dance is a real as well

What's what to the show is this? Just each round there is one room There's five fake ones And Matt just chooses one And he goes, I like that Wait, I know we're really late in the In the round Like in the whole episode

And I know I've been on this so many times But can you clearly take us through the rules? How does this game work? How does this game work? I've been winging it for years Well, you're doing very well when you're doing it to not. So, yeah, you each get a point there. Did I pronounce Babanoi right?

I actually, I always say like, new, but I don't know that that's correct. Bubba new. Oh, but like, because new is a thing that that word gets put on the end of a bunch of font stuff. And grotesque does as well, I just saw. Oh, wait. Is it like the N-U-E-U-U one? Yeah. Ah.

N-A-U-E. N-U-E, yeah. Because sometimes that gets tacked on to the end of other fonts. What is, is Babanui anything? I think there's a... No, but you're right. Right, because there's like a Helvetica, N-E-U-N-E-U-N. Yeah, which is like a slight more curve or something.

And there's always the problem with, I can't, how do I find out how to pronounce it without giving away that? That's not it. Yeah, unless I damn you, how do you say that, dude? If you read them out and I go, it's actually pronounced like this. Yeah, yeah. But I mean, it worked in this case. Whoever wrote it would probably want you to say it much.

Stuff like that, right. Like, I'm into fonts as well, clearly, and I know exactly what you're talking about now. But I still, like, I didn't clock that you'd set it wrong because, like, it's stuff you read. Yeah. Like, no one would ever talk to me about fonts in the way that Ryan will. Yeah, that's because we've just, man, I feel like we've got some, a lot of common. We've got a lot in common. I'm ready to throw it all away for Ryan, if I'm being honest.

Yeah. Do you know my wife and daughter? Neither. My right off. See, you never. What time we're home for dinner, just after I get those cigarettes. That's what my biological mum did, so not to ring the mood down. It's all good.

It's all good. Look at me. My adoptive parents are fine, so. I'm thriving. You're doing well. He's about to go to Finland. He's fine. Yeah, he's doing really well.

That's two, is that two rounds in a row that you picked each other? No, two rounds in a row, you both scored a point, though. Yeah. Meaning, with two rounds to go, the score's now Ryan on two just behind. and Kirstie in the house on three apiece. Jeez, it's truly still anyone's game. It's still anyone's game. If the house wins, I'm going to flip this table.

Now, the penultimate question comes from Isaac from Waialla in South Australia. And don't worry, we're checking if there's... Are we sure it's not South Africa? This one, thank God, Isaac's belted out for me. Is there a barnacle bills? I'm just about to check that. Surely Waila by... It's got to be.

Come on. Someone's getting a big... To fish for dinner. I'll never recover if there's a barnacle bills there's a barnacle bills in Waiola, Waiola Playford. Who's the person who wrote in? Isaac. Isaac, can you please ask barnacle bills in Waiola if they're willing to sponsor our podcast?

If they put a toe on the menu, we'll do the show from their store. And we'll take live calls, obviously. This is going to come out from barnacle bills. It's going to change everything. Live. Where we're just eating big toffee. I've been a vegetarian for most of my life, but I'm going to give it away for the big tofish.

And we can get, like, the actor who played toad fish there. Yeah. Yeah, Ryan Toefish, Maloney will be there. Yes, Ryan Maloney, that's right. All right. So, Isaac's question, I assume, was written from the barnacle bills in Waela. Isaac's question is, the BBC fooled many on April Fool's Day, 2008, but what prank did they pull?

The BBC pulled her an April Fool's Day prank in the year 2008. What was the prank? While you're writing your answers, here's some more info about Ugly Jerry. This is according to Wiki, Ugly Jerry is a font whose characters consist of shapes of United States congressional districts, its intention being to protest gerrymandering. It was created by Ben Dosal and James Lee through the Leo Burnett agency for represent us. The designer's intention was to draw attention to gerrymandering.

The team is from Chicago, and after seeing how Jankia, Illinois 4th District had become, we became interested in this issue. Its notorious earmuff shape looked like a U, then after seeing other letters on the map, the idea hit us. Let's create a typeface so our districts can become digital graffiti that voters and politicians can't ignore. In 2019, fast company.com called ugly jerry, the world's most revolting font.

Wow, that is so funny. I agree, it is disgusting. It is disgusting, but did you realize it was political? Probably not, because I hadn't told you that. And I don't think I realized. Gerrymandering is fucked. Have you seen some of those maps? Yeah.

It makes me really annoyed. It makes me more annoyed than how ugly the font is. Well, that's the same thing. Yeah. If you're going to fuck our town up, cop this on your straight sign. Yeah. this is like literally some of those it was inspired by one of the the Chicago districts

being a you shape they're like we're gonna make it so they they're all different districts or whatever voting match that crazy that I take everything back that's actually how fucking clever yeah how clever not to be confused with how Vedica obviously the answer for question number five the BBC fooled many on April Fool's Day 2008 What prank did they pull? Here are your options. They released a narrated nature video clip showing a colony of penguins that had learned to fly. They broadcast a breaking news segment stating a spaceship had landed in a field just outside of liverpool.

Peel. High-end British fashion brand Burberry were releasing a new style of tweed trousers that included a urinal down the leg. That's just practical. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I've had disappointing. Like the worst pranks are the ones you go, oh, I was ready to buy that.

Yeah, I'm down. Yeah, I've got my credit card out. Oh, we're just tricking. What am I going to do? Piss myself on the street. Have wet pants again? I'd already, I'd already called, called Mom and told her those days were over. Which is weird, but.

Mom, you'll have a guess. My wet pant leg days are over. Oh, no. Option. Keep going. You're going great, Matt. Thank you so much. They put tomato sauce in rubber ducies, so when people squeezed the ducky, sauce squirted out. Or finally, they reported that a platypus population in far north Queensland had begun

building nests in high up tree branches. So you've got penguins flying, you've got spaceship in Liverpool, you've got Burberry Piss Pants, You've got tomato sauce rubber duckies or platypuses building tree nests. Kirstie, what do you think? I... Who would you call if you knew that you weren't going to have to piss your pants anymore? Like for the media coverage. Yeah.

Probably FM104.7 in Canberra. Yeah, come down. Meet us of the Black Thunders. I'll prove it to. Yeah, I'm pissing right now. Have a look. You couldn't even tell. I've captured it all.

Yeah. In my trouser leg. Just one of my pant legs is expanding, but no moisture. Have a look. You can have a feel. It's not, I mean, it's great in theory, but also, like, I imagine you've got to walk really carefully afterwards. You know what I mean? Yeah.

Like, when you're carrying, like, a cup of coffee, that's too full. Yes. Like, yeah, you've got to walk with, like, a straight leg because you've got. You need a tap. Yeah. At the end to let it out. Oh, yeah, to let it out. At the ankle.

Yeah, like, you know, you're on one of those prison break movies and they just empty out the, you know, they do the digging and then they sprinkle it out. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Do that, sprinkle it out in the yard. Just shake it out of your trousers. So you're going to lock that one in, the piss pants? No, I'm livid that it's not a real product. I think I would like to lock in the flying penguins. Flying penguins.

The penguitos. locked in. I love penguins. Penguins are the best. They're so cool. They're so similar fish, aren't they? They're both animals behaving strangely or differently. Which I feel like is BBC Energy.

Oh, I think so as well. I reckon. Oh, BBC Energy. Yeah, not the online. I'm like, BBC. What do I have to do with platypuses? Deep Dog Daddy. I'm, I'm.

I agree that the piss pants, if worked, would be awesome. As someone who needs to pee all the time, that would just be how convenient. As someone who's been squirited. How convenient, another great font. Yeah. As someone who has been squirted in the eye with tomato sauce, that would fuck me right off if someone rubber ducked me. And, yeah, the sauce, you know, those sauce packets, if you find one later and it's,

it's, it's, it's something weird, tomato sauce just gross if it's left. out. Yeah, and also, you know, when, like, the end of it, like, if you've got, like, one of those Master Foods ones, and, like, and, like, you don't pull it down enough. Yeah, the hard bit on the end, and then you go to squirt it, and it just goes, like, squirting all over the room. Yeah. That literally happened to me, like, two days ago, so it's fresh in my memory, and I'm soothing.

Right. Now, I'm going to get a bit meta here for a second, because I was actually going to go with the piss pants, but the fact that you backed in the piss pants, I'm like, maybe that's your fucking thing that you do. I'm in his head. I've gotten in his head. And I was like, oh, she's leading me down to track. And then she'll go, oh, it's shock.

So just look at me in the eye for a sec. You fucking did do that, didn't you? You dirty deep dish dog. Whatever fuck. What ever fucking is called. Man, we are getting hungry, huh? You dirty deep dish dog. I'm like, yeah, should we order one of those in?

That sounds fantastic. I think you're trying to say batted sab. Dirty deep dish dog. You did, though, didn't you? I... Yeah. I can neither confirm nor deny. I'm going on the platypuses.

Platipus? Wow. All right. Because I know that you did the pierced pants. Hey, I mean, this is not... I'm in no position to judge you, but that's not what I would have done. I'm in no position to judge you, but I will. But if I would...

This is how I would do. Twist my arm. All right, this is who wrote the answers. Now, Ryan was very sure about what Kirsty wrote, but before we get to that, Ryan wrote the one about the rubber-ducky tomato sauce. Oh, and he tried to, he tried to Kirsty wee-bucked me on it.

No, I actually have been struck in the eye with sauce and it actually did fuck me off, so not a lie I was told. Yeah, no lie was told, but yeah. Because that's great. It's been two great things bad, you know what I mean? Yeah. When are you really squirting those in the bath? Yeah.

That's not what you don't want it then. Oh, man. It doesn't make sense because they're not just like rubber ducks on the street that you'd walk past and squeeze. That's a slow prank, isn't it? It's going to happen before midday. People are buying them. Like, oh, it's weird. They're a bit heavier than normal.

Everyone of the millions of rubber ducks being purchased today, like, beware the red one. I love the idea that, like, the BBC's, like, out there just broadcasting stuff. And Ryan's like, no, they made a product. Yeah. They made a product. No, they just went down to what's like the Sainsbury's. Yes. And they had a syringe full of tomato sauce and they were just into the rubber ducky and just injecting it.

It would have been a local BBC, their version of the Black Thunders. Yeah. Yeah. How would you, is the Black Thunders? Is that an Australian thing or is that an international? Do you need to explain that? It's like, they're like a promo. Promo cars, yeah.

But the BBC Black Thunder just, geez, you wouldn't want to Google that way. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, I reckon we've picked it up. Now, I think you're right. I think it's an Australian thing. I actually thought it was a Canberra thing. I thought only FN 104.4.7s was called Black Thunder. I was, because it was Triple M, I think, in Melbourne were the Black Thunders.

Were they? So was it all austerer. 14.7 to steal it. Or are they linked? It was all the same company, yeah. Oh, yeah. But the Canberra one was iconic, though. I remember when I worked there, there was this girl, like, this real young girl who was, like,

upset because something happened. And she fell over in the playground. and Tom was like, oh, do you want to sit in the Black Thunder? And she's like, yeah. And like, it made her feel better. And like, yeah, that's the power of the Black Thunder. We called it Dr. Black Thunder in Canberra.

Oh, yeah. That's right. Mysterious healing properties. Literally, I genuinely did work experience there in Year 10. And a big part of my role was to go out in Black Thunder with the promos manager at the time was called Nicky, a lovely woman. I went out with Nikki and I handed out loaves of bread out of the back of Black Thunder. And people were like, they,

were overjoyed. That line-ups for fucking... It is. It's not strange. Whatever. And they have photos with their loaf of bread in front of Black Thunder. It was just like a, you know, just a Wonderwhite loaf. Yeah.

And it was like, yeah. And everyone, just, we love free stuff, don't we? Yeah. But also, yeah, somehow it's connected to the radio that you're listening to, which makes it more special. Yeah. The radio tells everyone where the Black Thunder is this morning. Yeah.

And you go, oh, life of bread. Yeah. And they treat you like celebrities. Yeah. People, like, were a bit star-struck by, like, literally the work experience kid. And Nikki, who had, like, never been on. on radio before in her life, but they think they're meeting celebrities

and those celebrities are giving them a loaf of Wonderwhite. Yeah, I love that. Yeah, yeah. Nicky gave me her bread this morning, dude. Yeah, but I love that. I love that the magic is still there. Yeah, I love that.

There's no cynicism. Just cold, hard, loaves of bread. What are simple people? How do you like your bread? Cold and hard? Straight from the freezer. So the Burberry Piss Pants, that was the house. You were saying, hey, I are you an apology.

I may, I look, I was threatening and I stared you down and saw it into your soul. And I apologize with all of my pain. Well, I think that that suggests Gersie's got a great poker face. Yeah, I actually really appreciate the apology. Kirsty really wanted you to think that because it gave you a little more chance of guessing. Oh, I mean. Which was, I thought, quite guessable. And it didn't seem to really even be discussed.

The, Kirsty wrote the one about the spaceship being, having landed in a field outside of Liverpool. I actually thought that was quite good. The BBC, don't fuck with aliens. Okay. Yeah. They know their bounds. Their charter.

That's true. So Ryan went for the platypuses up a tree. I'm afraid that was Isaac. Okay, the house. And that means Kirsty is correct. It is the flying penguins. What? Wow, that's huge.

And they, like, it looks like they spent a bit of cash on it. I watched the clip earlier today. Like 2008, the, 2008, CGI had them, had the penguins up and flying. Like, little, like, little ones, like, little penguins. Little guys are little wings. Yeah. They didn't try to mess with, like, the emperors or anything. No.

Yeah. But, yeah, but it's, apparently millions of people fell for it. You know why? Because that's something we want to believe. Yes. So people were sad when they, yeah. Oh, yeah. I've been gotten in the past on April Fool Springs.

Yeah. I've been, like, devastated to learn that it wasn't true. All right. Final question comes from Tyson from Colac. It's a film synopsis question. So you've got to write out, you know, this would be your longest answer. A little paragraph here.

The question is, what is the synopsis of the film, Tokyo Gore Police? What is the synopsis of the film, Tokyo Gore Police? things have remained tight cursing the house got a point each in that fifth round meaning the scores are now Ryan on two cursing the house on four apiece but this this round is worth triple points for both Kirsty and Ryan so still truly anyone's game

while they're writing their answers here's some more info about the April Fools Day prank this is according to Tudor doctor one of the most famous April Fools Day pranks occurred fairly recently in 2008 by none other than the BBC. The BBC is a trusted authority for nature documentaries. But in 2008, the BBC aired an entirely fake special featuring penguins that have evolved to learn how to fly. Millions were duped into believing penguins were capable of flight

only to be disappointed when it was revealed. It was an elaborate and expensive hoax. Monty Python member Terry Jones hosts the clip, which is still available on YouTube if you want to watch. where he says, this recently discovered colony of penguins is unlike any other. And this is over, he's standing out in the snow amongst the penguins

and then the CGI of them taken off. And he says, they don't need to huddle together every winter for protection against the bitter cold because these little fellas can do something no other penguins can. We say I'm flying and he says, isn't that amazing? And how do they use this incredible ability?

He asks. well they fly thousands of miles to the rainforests of south america where they spend the winter basking in the tropical sun so there's always uh you know there's always clues there if you're paying attention for the aprilful's day pranks the answers are in for the final question what is the synopsis of the film tokyo gore police a group of high school computer hackers go on the hunt to find the origins of a series of seemingly haunted internet videos that depict people meeting untimely gruesome deaths only for the death to then come true in real life a week later. When the students notice that they start appearing as victims in the upcoming videos, they have to work together to track down the evil behind it. Will they solve the puzzle in time?

It's option one. I want to watch it. I hope that's the real one. That does sound sick. Option two. It's better than mine. Option uh two a secret department in the police in tokyo work with coroners and search through the gore and dead bodies looking for clues

normally they search for poisons or drugs but last summer they found something shocking that exposed an underworld crime group that's option two option three the year is 2040 a zombie apocalypse has gripped japan's capital city and there is only a handful of survivors they must make their way across the city with the help of the Tokyo Gore police, a hybrid group of police officers bitten by zombies who were strangely immune to the full transition. They're risking everything under the cloak of darkness to make it to an airplane hangar to leave Tokyo for good. Option four. In futuristic Tokyo, the police have become privatized and are in an ongoing battle with a race of mutant supercriminals known as engineers, which have the

the ability to turn any injured body part into a weapon. A samurai sword-wielding assassin police woman named Ruka hunts them to uncover her father's killer. Well, finally, the straight-laced detective Goron-Gorgo. Played by James Vanden Cheeks. Goren Gorgos. Can I ask that you say this seriously? Yes.

For whoever wrote it. The straight-laced. Detective Gore and Gorgo discovers a family of talking emperor penguins who have escaped from the Tokyo Zoo, secretly living in the vacant apartment next door. Detective Gorgo is kidnapped after uncovering a huge international crime syndicate and the only witnesses are the penguins. But can they save him? But can they save him?

Wow. But can they save him? That's good. I like that one We'll go again from the top So you got the You got the school hackers The high school hackers

You've got the secret Police Department in Tokyo Who uncover an underworld crime group Got the year 2040 zombie apocalypse Where some cops Are strangely immune To the full transition to zombies You've got the futuristic Tokyo

where the mutant super criminals known as engineers can turn any body part into a weapon or you've got the penguins and detective Gorong Gorgo All right, Ryan, I think it's your shot here. First of all, I'd just like to say

that all five sound incredible. They sound fantastic. They sound fantastic. We'd watch each of them. I think your one was that last one, though. Because we've got penguin on the brain from the BBC. Oh, you've got a penguin brain. You know what I thought it was yours.

Ooh. No, I think it shows. Okay. But you can still choose it though. Okay. I appreciate that. Can I still choose it though? Well, you can't because it's your own.

You can't choose it. We've discussed this already. Wait, what are the rules? Um, I, I think I'm liking. And are we picking which one we think? I'm actually just deciding to pick the one. I want to watch. Okay.

Okay. Great. I want to watch the kids that find out a week in advance about the deaths that they're coming true because I just think, imagine seeing your death and knowing you've got a week to not be that. That I need to see. Yeah, I like the sound of that one for sure. So I'm going to lock that in.

All right. That is locked. Kirsty, what do you think? I want to lock that one in too. You're both locking it in? Yeah. Really? Yeah.

Not the last one. Not the last one. Interesting. Not allowed to lock in my own mind Didn't you listen to the rules? Final answers? Locked in. Here's who wrote the others.

Detective Goron Gorgo discovering a family of talking emperor penguins. That was actually written by Tyson. Okay, the house. Did we both think it was each other? Yeah. Which is just pure coincidence. I picked those answers before

and the penguins one's one right before. Pure coincidence. Yeah. I didn't realize that when I selected. And also the Goren, like the name just wreaked of Ryan to me. And then the penguins on the brain thing as well. But a bit of me also was like, come on, mate. Yeah, yeah.

Come on, we can tone it out a little bit here. Right. Goren. Do you reckon it's got a bit of Gord and Gekko about it, Goren Gorg and Gorg. What is Gordon Gekko? He's the original Wall Street. Greed is Good character from Michael Douglas and the 80s. Is the movie called Wall Street?

I'm not saying it, but yeah. Okay. And Charlie Sheen or Charlie Silver, I think, because he might have been known back there. Charlie Sheen's like a really young stockbroker who's being corrupted by Michael Douglas's character. Yeah, right. But maybe Tyson has just come up with a brand new name or he's referencing something that we didn't get. That's the Japanese Gordon.

Yeah, that's true. Then we had the secret. department in the Tokyo police where they searched through gore and dead bodies looking for clues that was Ryan yeah the searching through gore yeah i was like oh i don't know if you'd write that in a blurb just searching through gore what i'm like i don't know how to put gore into this book i'm just going to chuck it in there was an option at the time i was writing oh my god i did not even pick that up gore on oh yeah of course yeah Because I can see it written down

It doesn't, you know what I mean? Oh, so you didn't realize that was the gore bit. I didn't ever get it. Oh. I mean, I did. I did if that makes me look silly. I'd do anything to not look silly. Yeah, it looks like it.

I'm not on top of my game today and my game's not that good. That's the best of time. I think you're doing great. Thank you so much. You know, you're battling when people are like, no, hey, you're doing great job. Hey, I think you're doing fine. Yeah, because they're not like, they're not going to playfully. you know like rebuk

because they're like no he seems fragile I'm gonna pump up his tires he's only a vulnerable day and I'm just here to support him which I appreciate it very sweet actually the year 2040

with the zombie apocalypse oh which I thought this is some great writing here the police officers bitten by zombies who were strangely immune to a full transition that was Kirsty

that's good stuff that was good thank you that's a great film does that explain why it took me three and a half hours to write that blur

that's okay I think it was beautifully written. I appreciate you. Thank you. Lucky we're not live because we edited out the half an hour break we needed to have. The fact that you two made your way to Westfield Woden in the time it took me to write it. Now, you've both gone for the one, there's two left, you've both gone for the one about the group of high school computer hackers. And the other one left is about the engineers, the mutant super criminals.

So either you've given your points to the house Or you're both correct Oh, he's doing some foreshadowing here The high school computer hackers, the one you went for That was run by Tyson, okay, the house Meaning no one got the correct answer Which was the police have been privatized And yeah, there's a mutant super criminal group

Known as the Engineers Where's the gore? Well, they can have the ability To turn any injured body partner or a weapon Apparently it's a very gory film. I'd hope so with that title. I do like, you're like, they didn't use the word gore.

So it's wrong. So it's wrong. But also it doesn't sound good. Like, we don't want to watch that one. So can we have points for choosing the most watchable one? Yeah. I think, yeah. I hope Tyson.

So Tyson wrote that one. I think Tyson's got a future in the biz because I'd like to say that Tyson. Tyson, can we get that made, please, Tyson? We'd love to watch it, please, Tyson. If Barnacle Bills is listening, if you could send a few clams Tyson's way to get me here. Sorry, that is one of the great fail words.

You'll actually, you'll actually ever hear. And I just want everyone listening to appreciate the comedy genius that you're listening to right now. That'll fucking do me. I can't wait to get home and tell my wife about that exact line. Send a few clips. That'll do me. That is, yeah, I've done done.

That is fantastic year. Brisbane, November 22. At the sit-down comedy club, what is? Is it in Brisbane? Good chat comedy. Good chat comedy. Let's make up the sit down. No, that's up there too.

I think I've dropped the type of five at the sit down. So this film, like, neither of you like the sound of it, but on Rotten Tomatoes, it's got an 80% critical approval rating. That's pretty good. Audience doesn't like it as much, only 6% to 1%. A negative review by Steve Byrodowski reads. Lack of Gore. It's quite the opposite.

He says, if you're expecting it. exciting tongue-in-cheek thrill ride with gallons of ridiculous gore, your one-fourth right. The ridiculous gore is the only bit that actually... And the positive review, on the other hand, by Michael Esposito reads, the budget for fake blood for this Tokyo-based festival of slicing, shooting and chomping probably comes in about even with Titanic's budget for seawater. Wow.

A bit of fun. Well, jokes on him. They spent zero on seawater because it was shot in a tank. What, can you say the bit again? It was slicing. Festival of slicing, shooting and chomping. Slicing, shooting and chomping. I love that.

Yeah, so you're back in. The festival of slicing, shooting and chomping. That was the only thing missing from my drinking at home naked. I just chomping. Add some chomping and sloshing in there and you call it Christmas, I reckon. Yeah, what are you talking about slicing, a bit of ham off the bone, chomping on it? It's just the alpha dog that just wants to cut something, you know? You ever just feel like cutting something?

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Blast them for a big toe fish. Yeah, oh, yeah. The final scores, this is incredible. Two points. All two points of his career came in this episode. It's Ryan John. Incredible.

Thank you very much. That's incredible. I'm so glad that I was here for the momentous occasion. Thank you. It was really great to see. In second place, on four points. points. It's Kirsty Webeck. Thank you. Thank you.

Yeah, I'm disappointed, but... No, it's impressive. Okay, thanks. But just jumping into the leave for the first win, I think, in a long time, because of Tyson really delivered those two points with that great movie synopsis. It's the House on six points. More done, house. Wow.

Can you believe it? But the real winner today was Tyson, who's been given some cold hard cash by Barnacle Bills to make a feature film that Ryan and I can't wait to watch. I can't wait to star in. Yeah, I feel like you too. That's actually true. That's true. Yeah, you're in it.

You know how brands are like making shows now on YouTube and stuff? It's like the next wave of marketing. I think that's Barnacle Bill's future. Yeah. So I think if all our powers combined today, I reckon there's something in it. Yeah, we just, how do we, how do you tie in the... And the mine sponsor would be the Australian Maritime Conservation.

Yeah, strange bedfellows, I think. Yeah, we grow them and Barnacel Bill fries them. It's like a bit of a yin and yang. Protects the sea so particle bills can fry them. Somehow that feels not like the message. Well, you check in with the higher-ups, see if they're happy with that copy. I'll...

I will. I'll flick them an email and I'll let you know what I say. This is that one thing my mum said before she left me at the orphanage. She said, you can't deep fry something that was never brought into this world. Oh, that is so beautiful. So without the fish being taken care, of what a barnacle bill is going to cook. Yeah, that is so true.

That is actually, that's really moving. And if there's one thing we take away from today, and I've said that seven times. But if there is one thing, it's that. Yeah, that's the final one. That's a beautiful message, a parable. Kirsty, before we go, where can people find it? You'll be doing, you know, working on your new material around the place.

Yes. Some, probably not all announcers yet, but where can people find if they want to stay in touch? Yeah, rad. I'll be doing work in progress shows out and about. Brisey and Melbourne and then I'll be kicking off a new tour at the start of next year

so if you saw my Sea Creatures show this year I've got a brand new show next year brand new hour of jokes so get on Kirstywebeck.com for all the announcements join my mailing list you get first dibs on tickets and social media at Kirsty Webeck awesome and Ryan, what about you? Just search for Tony and Ryan

should we invite Tony to the towfish thing it just feels like it sounds right yeah I think so So Tony with an eye and then YouTube, Spotify, Apple. And an I and an E now as well. Yes. So T-O-E-N-I and Ryan. And obviously Ryan also be at the good chat shows on November 22nd,

seeing booing Kersie from side of stage. Or backstage, maybe. Giving real-time feedback. Real-time feedback. Yeah. On the 22nd of November, why does that ring about? Oh, because I'm in fucking Brisbane watching your show. Oh, yeah, that's it.

That's it. That's where I'll be as well. I can't wait to be there. But yeah, the hang around for the outtakes after the show. I imagine there's going to be quite a few. I can't remember what we're talking about before. Did you say outtakes?

Outtakes, yeah. Or like a bloopers at the end of the show. That's fucking awesome. Bring it back. We've been talking about this and I can't believe you. Sorry, on our podcast, we're like,

that used to be like a staple of every comedy movie. Like post credits. I saw it. Yeah, it was funnier than anything in the movie. Yeah, exactly. But they've kind of don't exist much anymore. This show,

this show is brought. it back. Fuck yeah. Yeah. Sometimes it goes like 20 minutes apparently. Yeah. And people do tell me and it's sort of a bit of straight. They tell me it's the best bit of the show.

Can you, um, yeah, how do you take that news? I like, yeah. I can just, we could just fuck up more if you like. Yeah. Now, uh, oh yeah, you can, uh, you can check out the videos of, of this, uh, and little clips on the Who Knewit pod, socials on Instagram, et cetera. Uh, cheers for listening. Why don't give us a fast so review.

and maybe tell your friends if you think you know anyone who might enjoy it. And cheers for tuning in to Who Knew with Matt Stewart. And now that you know it, I've been Matt Stewart. Goodbye. Yeah, but I think, yeah, I'm just because of the UK tour a few months ago now. Yeah. Maybe. I've got a few, just got a few episodes in the bank.

Yeah, you've got them banked. You're very professional. Very professional. So I, no, thank you for being professional. I, yeah, I'm going to be doing a new material show at good chat. That's correct. Actually, quite probably two. There'll probably be an extra one.

I don't want to sound cocky, but the first one's already almost sold out. You sound a little cocky. And we're only, I mean, we are only a few days out, wink, so who knows. When you say a new material show, are you like old school walking out with the pen and pad and just like try and stuff and seeing what fits? fighting for my life. If by seeing what fits, you mean fighting for your life. That's exactly what I'm doing. Is it funny?

Sorry, guys. Can I say the greatest thing you'll see though? I recommend everyone in Brisbane goes to that show and then goes and see your show next year and then you go, oh, I was there for the start of that. Because when you see how it started and then you see the polished end result, I don't know, it just hits different. Yeah, I agree. And there are a handful of punters around the country that are on to that.

And I love their reaction when they're on to that. And I love their reaction when they come and see the polished hour at the tour the following year. Because usually they're like, you know, when we saw your work in progress in October, we thought, she's never going to pull this together. This bitch has had a good run, but I think this is it. She's losing it. Aren't they meant to get better as the years roll on? Yeah, but you somehow, just as a comedy fan, you feel like you were a part of it.

Oh, I wonder what I laughed huge in that trial show, gave her a false sense of security, and now look at her bombing on my dog. And then on the flip side, actually at my work in progress show last year in Brisbane, somebody gave me like a really awesome direction to go in in one of my bits. They like brought this thing up and I was like, yeah, that's awesome. And we riffed on it for a little bit. And then it actually ended up making it into the final show. So then when they came to the tour show this year, they were like, yes.

Yeah. And I gave them a wink. Yeah, I gave them a wink when I said it on stage. I was like, that's you and me, baby. And do you encourage real-time feedback? Yeah, look, I do. The sucks. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

In working shows. No, no, no, no, no, not working. What else? The people that come to your work in progress shows are usually like people that have been following you for a while and stuff. So they're actually really, they get it. They're good fun. Yes.

They're good fun. And I'll be like, guys, this isn't the vibe, is it? And they'll be like, nah, but we still love you. If you did that on the internet, I wouldn't check your DM, sweetheart. Exactly. And then this bit will be cut out, I'm sure. Pretty confident.

I don't want any of this episode edited. I want it to go out exactly as. No. It's the beauty being life. If you want this to go up in video format, these are our terms. We want it exactly how it is right now. Okay. Just me squirming a lot.

Yeah. Just looking nervous, sweating. Winking at the camera Can I just quickly before we move on Can I just ask Matt what you would do differently in the future Again Let me read that answer out If I had if I had pre-read it

If you were professional If I was pre-professional I would have said Directly translates to lobster rolls from Maine But served in Massachusetts Very good Problem is I could I can't pronounce, I don't think that's how you say it anyway.

You're adding something in. You're adding a T in after the essence. Right. But it's, so it's Massachusetts. Massachusetts. Is it one of those ones where you're not chute, not chute. Not chute. I really hope. I feel like it's one of those ones where you just say it fast with confidence

and move on and no questions it. But when we slow it down and break it down, we've never sounded more from, not from that place. That's exactly right. Yeah, yeah. Most people would just be like, yeah, so I was passing through Massachusetts. Lots of Massachusetts. Yeah. How do you like them, apples?

Yeah, that's exactly right. Part of Card, Harvard, that sort of stuff. Where we're like, we'll say it 40 times in a row until it's completely meaningless. It is lot. It is, my brain is broken. I actually now think Ryan spelled it right. Mattness suits. Yeah.

If you've got any listeners from there as well, I cannot wait for the feedback. Yes, well, I think, I mean, I think that questioner out was from there. Were they from Maine? We still don't really know. We don't know. We don't know. I don't even know where we are anymore. I'm tripping out.

You guys feeling weird? Yeah. Let's get crazy. Let's get on a plane and go to Finland right now. I'm down. I'm down. I'm down. I always get around with my passport just in case.

Yeah. You never know. Ready to go. Imagine if one of your guests this week was a new ambassador for the Australian Marine Conservation Society. Ryan? Are you? It's me! That's awesome.

Actually, can you say that title again? It's very impressive. The Australian Marine Conservation Society. And how can we get involved? Are they doing a trial show? If you use this discount code, Kirsty underwater 20, you'll receive 20% off your next big toe fish at Michael Bill.

It is true, right, because my show this year, was everything I need to say about sea creatures. A legend from AMCS came to my show in Cairns, and I went on her podcast, which was all about the Great Barrier Reef. And then from there, I talked to her after my show. She works at AMCS. She put me in touch with them,

and I became an ambassador for them. That's huge. So what's involved in your role? Just spreading the good word of... Spreading the good word, but recently I have launched an Instagram series which is like there's snippets. It's called Sea Creature Snippets.

And it's me every week I'm putting out some facts about sea creatures with a comedic bent on it. And, you know, linking it back to AMCS and trying to raise awareness and get people more interested in looking after the oceans and getting the rubbish out and protecting our sea creatures. And anyway, the point is I'm not a marine biologist, but I now know many of them.

That's cool. So if you want to get Deep Dog Daddy off the ground, I reckon, I know some people. I know some people. Oh, I think this, could this happen? This is fantastic. Imagine the email I sent to them. So, hey, guys, I know we've just started working together.

I just want to give you a sense of my professionalism and how serious I'm taking this role. I've got an idea. My mate's come up with a new name for a fish. Can I put in a request? I would love to, it's an Instagram page, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I'm going to follow that Instagram page. And if over the next few months, there was this like a casual barnacle bills reference,

fuck, that would just do me in. And everyone who listens to this show will go, okay. And we'll be listening out for it. I'm not telling you what to do. I'm just, that's just the suggestion. I love it.

Do, do, do, do, do do do do do do do do. You want to tell me that our socials don't listen to us? I don't follow him. That's weird. I don't follow him. First one. That's insane. Yeah.

Vandercheeks. Vandercheeks right there. I really thought you might not have known who he was. Maybe it might be in my brain because I'm pretty sure there's a remake happening. They're actually doing Dawson's Creek. Oh. Like a where are they now movie or a spin-off or something? Oh yeah, that's what this is.

A lesson's pre-class reunion. Yeah, there you go. That's exactly what it says. Yeah, I think that's why it was in my brain. because I'd seen something like that pop-up. Because most of them went on to have careers, really, didn't they? You're like outside of... I saw Pacey on the new Karate Kid movie recently.

Oh, yeah, Pacey's like, he's really made a massive comeback. He was also, do you remember the podcast series? It was called Dirty John about this. Yeah. So then they made a TV show and he was the doctor and stuff. Yeah. And he was the OG Mighty Dark. Yeah.

Oh, that's right. Yes. Charlie. But then I feel like he didn't do anything. like in his, like, after, like, the Mighty Ducks and stuff. Right. He didn't do anything for time. And then he's, like, made this massive comeback now where he's in everything at the moment.

I think he's got into his, like, deep dog daddy era. Oh, yeah. He was, like, grow into themselves. He is. And everyone's like, he's a fuck. Yeah. So now he's getting all the roles again. Michelle Williams kind of was always getting good gigs, right?

And then James Vanderbake, I think he sort of, he was too Dawson. I know. He had the biggest typecast, but he was also able to, like, buck that a little by laughing at it at it all. He played himself in a sitcom called Don't Trust the Bitch in Apartment 23 with Jess Ritter. And that was meant to be decent. Two or three seasons. It was pretty fun.

And he plays, like, a fuck-wit version of himself, which I just think is the height of comedy. Yeah, that's so funny. Yeah, that's really good. And then who was the other one? Is that it? Oh, no, Katie Holmes. Yeah, she obviously had a big thing in Scientology. Big thing.

Yeah. She's doing good things. Is she out of that? She was in a James, Chris Nolan movie and then... That's right. She was in a Batman movie, right? And then got replaced by Maggie Gillenor. That's right.

Because of the church. The church. If the church is listening. They don't believe in Batman. Oh, we're on. We're back. Is... If the church is listening.

If the church is listening, failing barnacle bills, taking a something off of it. Do you reckon there's... Do they have much cash Scientology? I've actually heard they're quite skint. So maybe we stick with the Barnacle Bill's plan for now. That's where the money is. Cost of living has hit them hard. Obviously.

Obviously. How clever. That's how clever. Do you just telemetica? No. No, hell clever. Or how, how, and I'm thinking of Van Halcing. back to the vampires again you were talking about them before yeah it's a great movie you should

watch it is is uh that's so funny getting there van halcing yeah does he make an appearance no unfortunately helverica is a lovely name for a child i went with mabel but howverica was a close second there's still time i don't know if anyone's named next kid, Helvetica, they probably have. They would have, for sure. Some bigger losers than us. They were right up on the asshole.

Yeah. It'll be like a couple who are both designers. Yeah. Yeah. And I'd hate them, but I'd sort of respect you, but I'd hate them. Yeah. But I'd respect it. It's commitment to the bit, Helvetica.

Helvi for short. So the, the, that Helvi is real, that's nice. Helvi's actually. That's actually pretty cool. It's really cute. It's really cute. It's good. Elvie is really cute.

I like that. Boy or girl, that's fantastic. Yeah, that's it. It's completely, yeah, it's genderless. Any gender can have it. Helvi. It's a name for the, you know, the modern era. It is.

Yeah. All of a sudden, like, everyone's kids becomes the new Jack or whatever. Yeah. What are the big names of your kid's generation? Matt, when I was a kid. Yeah, Jason. For about 10 years either side. I think Matt was the big Australian.

Christopher, Nick, Nicholas. Yeah. Ryan was big in Canberra when I was growing up. Do you grow up in Canberra? Yeah. East side or north side? Sorry, north or south. South.

Western Creek, baby. I nearly bought a house in Western Creek. Wow. Whoa. See, we are soulmates. I've had some good times in the south side of Canberra. Yeah, me too. Shout out hit 104.

0.7. Canberra's number one eat music station. 104.7. Yeah. I know. that. I did work experience there when I was in year 10. You two are like, like a modern Romeo and Juliet. We're actually currently on a date.

Because you look like a 21-year-old model, we were probably hit 104-7 at the same time. We would have been. We would have been. I would have been giving out free stuff out the back of the van. Yeah. Yeah. But stuff, do you mean hand jobs?

Stuff. I was giving out stuff at the back of the van. I forgot what they were called. Yeah, black thunder. Yeah. This guy's a real deal. Oh, yeah. Ice cold cans of Coke.

Yeah. Yeah. Come down to the car park out the back of Westfield Belconon for an icy can of Coke. Yeah. And a sticker pack. Whoa. If you get to the Belconin dick out, you've driven too far. Come on down for an icy cold can of Coke and a big toe fish.

Ooh. I'm getting peckish. Can I tell you about a real fucked up prank I did one year? Yeah. I was at Canberra at 104. I love how he's tailoring everything to me now. You can leave the room, Matt. This is for me.

So a few, I thought I needed to get ahead of the game. So a few months prior, I made up a, you know how the, I'm the Woden Westfield? Yes. So I said there's a pet store that they're selling. You know how there's like micro pigs? Like those little pigs. Yeah. So I said there's micro dolphins and you can have them as a pet in your own pool.

And so I put this voiceover request in. like February um so the voice over people wouldn't like because you know you give someone a weird script on the day before april yeah yeah people smell a rat big time uh and so then uh who i was working with at the time tanya hennessey is reading these ads like you should go down to the woden westfield and you can get a mini dolphin for the pool and then she goes that i don't know if i feel right about that you know that feels a bit wrong and then this whole brew har harbour just breaks because the ad she recorded in febru but the ad started playing in her voice on the first of April and half of Canberra thought there were these micro dolphins that were for sale at

Westfield so everyone's down at Westfield there isn't even in a fucking pet store there so they're getting calls like what's going on blah blah and it was all and I got in a lot of trouble for oh you got in trouble oh because it was wasn't well received you uh well there was pet lovers that's good that's good the people at woden were like the people are calling us what the fuck's going on tanya's like i'm promoting something that's real fucked and so so wow but so you did it without anyone else knowing at all just put that one through yeah because the more people you bring into a brink the more it's not going to be 100% yeah so did was any of the higher ups like officially no good but just between you and me that's good stuff uh the first bit

there was no but all good right interesting okay wow because it does feel like a classic any publicity's publicity sort of thing not always as as a as a no one who's been cancelled has ever said that. Well, all publicity is good publicity, is it? It feels like you're kind of making a satirical point or like a, you know, you're talking about how, why is it okay for tropical fish to be, so true. This is unacceptable, the dolphins? Well, what, why are we drawing our lines?

Why are we microising pigs, but we can't do a dolphin? So true. It's a political statement. Yeah, that is so true. I thought that's what you were doing. You're out there. That's probably into my argument. Yeah.

Yeah. That's like, the. the ambassador of the Marine Conservation Society and me. Yeah, how do you feel about that? Livid. Until I found out it was a prank. I was like, I forgot for a second, and I was like, mini dolphins, that is crook.

And then I was raging and I was about to make some balls. And, but the massive like Canberra file in me was like, there's no pet shop in one day. Well, that's what half of the outrage was like, everyone's calling the front desk at the thing going, where's the pet store? And they're like, what the fuck are you talking about? It was just the angry receptionist, just going, this guy's going to pay for this.

And it's kind of embarrassing because Canberra's sort of our centre of, it's our national capital. Yeah. They shouldn't be getting, they shouldn't be, but they shouldn't be. That's where the best of us are. Yeah. That's where the best, yeah, and the best of us are in Woden. That's where all of my first jobs were. Really?

Yeah, sorry to. Good type place in Woden for those driving through. That is actually true. Yeah. That's legit. Man, I'm hungry. Every single thing you mentioned. I'm like, oh my God, I'd be up for that.

A deep fried daddy, yes, please. I think there's a direct flight from Canberra to Finland, so we could probably stopover. We'll get a decent tie. We'll get a deep dish dog. We'll go to the G-Train and Gung Garland for a late-night cabat. Okay. This is going to sound like gibberish to anyone from outside of. No.

Oh, sorry, are you still talking for the recording? No, which, well, you know. Connor will fix it all up in post. Don't worry about it. Sorry, Connor. I've been sorry. I haven't been getting sentences out that good today anyway, so. No, you're doing great.

Is it, it's Tokyo. Gore police. Gore police. Thank you. Sorry. Any relation to Fast and the Furious Tokyo Drift? I think so, yep. My wife, Bridget, flying from Perth to London, watch six Fast and Furious movies back to back.

Whoa. That's so good. You just, you did so. I haven't thought of the My Wife think for a while, but you really said that, at style. I didn't. It's like it's in me, that year 10 boy. Yeah, yeah.

I mean, yeah, that movie came out at an important time in your life. Yeah. And it made a big, you know, had a big effect. It's my Australian accent. My wife. My wife. My wife. Tokyo Drift.

That was the first one that I saw of the Fast and the Furious movies. I liked it from memory. And I think one of the kids from home alone, no, not home alone, home improvement was on it. He was too. Jesse. No, who was the old?

Brad? Yes. Looks like a Jesse. He does. He's got Jeddie. Yeah. He's like a bad boy. Yeah.

And I'm not buying it because he just looks like the biggest like sweetheart. Yeah. Yeah. His job before it would have been target catalogs. You know anything. Yep. I once saw Hobbs and Shore in the cinema because I was too drunk to drive home. So I had to like four out of big gardens in

Richmond and I was the only one in the cinema very responsible thank you very can I get a coffee a water a Maltesea and whatever and a high octane yeah and I fell asleep I told them why I was doing it and they're like okay so I fell asleep during it and the guy is like woken me up and he was the only person in the cinema and he's like it's over and I was like okay great it's over I think you're done it slept it off that's so funny because it is like you know cheapish I mean it's It's not cheap, but cheapish place to have just a dark room for three hours. Yeah, aircon on. You just pick the movie with the longest running time.

I just said, what's on next? And they go, Hobbs and Shaw on, I went... Hobbs and sure, that's The Rock and Jason Stasson. Yeah. I mean, on paper. Yeah. What a combination. On paper, great.

On screen? Oh, my God, I think Kirsty's answers in. I'm so sorry. I just, suddenly, I thought I was a PhD candidate. it you're in oh no you're just so invested in the story like should we make this yeah i literally as i was writing it i was like i'm a genius and i actually think that we can make the finish backdrop look like tokyo oh yes so i think we can get it all done at the same time okay i'm going to say like uh Tokyo gore finish and furious oh oh okay let's keep this going

I think we're adding close to something big here. Should we stop talking about it publicly like this, though? I mean, people might. The fast and the finish. Oh, my God. And, yeah, you've already got, you know, the check-it flag would be a great motif. Oh. In the promotional materials.

A hundred percent. The finish flag. Yeah. Is that what the Finnish flag is? It is now. Yeah. The national flag. If it wasn't to begin with, it is now.

Do you reckon Finnish people have realized that the, the world. word is similar to another word Finnish. No, no one ever would have made that bag in their vicinity, ever. No Australian father, for example, has ever travelled to Finland to make that joke repeatedly. No, and he won't.

And he won't. Father's a band. No dad jokes. No dads. No daddies in Finnish. No dead dogs, no daddies. No deep dog daddies. Okay. Connor, you're listening? Oh, we just, you know, when we were talking about people. Which, I can't remember who it was.

Oh, they know who they are. Yeah. They know who they are. Connor. Yeah, it doesn't matter that we don't. Connor, certainly cut out any. She got a bit honest, you know. Yeah.

I can't remember what it was. I don't remember anything bad. Yeah, just didn't know fucking happen. But yeah, Connor, can you obviously use your common sense, mate? Use your conno sense. Yeah. Connor, like, all. If there's one takeaway today.

That, like that. I'm going home to tell your wife about that. Yeah. Conant's, connor. Conno sense. Clans from Barnacle Bill's coming right up. That's done me. The damning expose I did on the CEO of Barnacle Bill's Connor.

You know what to do. Yes, okay. You know what to do that. I can't remember. Does he do a show? Does he do a show? Because I feel like Usier Conno Cents is a good name for the comedy show. Oh, he doesn't.

Yeah, but I think that's right there. Or a Connoissance mission. Oh my God. Oh my gosh. I'm going to, I'm changing my name to Connor by deed pop. Look at those options. That's way easier than just coming up with like, Kirstie puns. I thought you said jizz for listening.

Yeah, jizz for listening. Jiz and jizz for listening. Keep it on, keep an on your letterbox. Your jizz is right.