Who Knew It with Matt Stewart - 168 - The Map Men (Jay Foreman, Mark Cooper-Jones ) and Poppy Hillstead

Episode Date: December 1, 2025

Who Knew It with Matt Stewart is a comedy game show podcast hosted by Australian comedian Matt Stewart. Episode 167 features comedians Jay Foreman and Mark Cooper-Jones (of the Map Men ) and Poppy Hillstead!This episode was recorded live at the Bedford Hotel in London - apologies for the sound quality, the main recording failed but luckily the venue recorded a backup!Support the show via http://patreon.com/dogoonpod and you can submit questions for the show!Check out Matt's new stand up special: https://youtu.be/ZgukEPerWZc?si=SW8PttGAB-ly_GF8And his last stand up special: https://youtu.be/cWStRpI-BhESee the podcast/Matt live: https://www.mattstewartcomedy.com/Check out Matt's podcast network: https://dogoonpod.com/Theme song by Evan Munro-Smith, Logo by Murray Summerville and edited by Connor Schmidt! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to Who New with Matt Stewart, the show where the guest write the wrong answers. I'm the titular Matt Stewart, and my first guest is host of the map men show. It's Jay Foreman. Hello So good to have you here You're a London local I am in London You can't really be local

Unless you live within 10 minutes Because like London's really big It took me more than an hour to get here And I still live in London Where which Oh you probably don't want to adopt yourself I'm on the wrong side of London I'm in the very north

I'm in Enfield You see? Oh yeah Wow And we're in the south Exactly Oh they just like here in the direction.

There are simple people in the South, aren't they? Not like you northerners of London. Our second guest tonight is host of the Brain Wash Me podcast. It's Poppy Hillstead. Oh, I'm here.

Oh, my God. I'm North London as well. You are North London. So that's why your accents... I'm Northern originally. Oh, okay. Yay. So I'm fine.

Well, it doesn't get much more north of London than that. I guess I have no idea. I guess it's Scotland and then, you know, the Arctic Circle. But our final guest tonight also hosts Matt Man, it's Mark Cooper Jones. Thank you. That's welcome. Yeah. Now, South London, first of all.

Southeast. Nice. They like both of those. That's good. Southeast. So what's something that is, you know, like a classic southeastern trait? Well, nobody knows, and that's the problem with South East London. It just doesn't have the tube.

That's where everybody thinks. You don't have the tube? Clay soils, they can't drill down there. It's basically Kent. It's true. It basically is, yeah. All right, here's how the show works. I ask a relatively obscure trivia question.

Our contestants have to write. a convincing fake answer, I then read their answers as well as the real one, and I have to guess which one is correct. And the first question comes from actually a previous guest of the show, Andy Matthews, from Two in the Think Tank. And Andy's question is, what does the word Fottok mean? Fottok. Fottok.

And that's a real word? That is a real word. Can we get a spelling for F-O-C-T-O-C? Yeah, I thought so. Yeah. So while you're coming up with your definitions for the word FATOC, and obviously because I have not, I've not really had a chance to talk to any of you. Should I explain how the, do you understand the show?

So you'll message me, and do you have a way to message me? Yeah, I, while we were setting out the chairs, I gave them both your number. I hope that's okay. So while you're writing your answers for what FATOC means. I'm hoping I gave you the right number, by the way, because if it's not, you're going to text somebody random and saying, a futtock, is it? Yeah, true.

Either that or the person in this little profile picture has a ginger beard as well, and that's a coincidence. Yeah. I mean, a very common and beautiful trait. Actually, there's a couple in the audience tonight, and tell you what, I got distracted when they were on their way in.

Very handsome fellows. Do we do it now? Are we meant to be doing it now? Yes, immediately. Yeah, okay, great. Sorry. It would be fun. We come back next.

week to find out I didn't know if there was a go moment and it was sort of timed or something no no no I have listened to it so I actually did know that so it's fine carry on so for anyone who doesn't know the show this is how the scoring works you get one point if your fake answer is guessed so they're writing fake answers for that question if the other contestants guess their fake answer they get a point and if they guess the correct answer themselves they also get a point so they can each go up to three points per round and I will say this I'm also playing as the house I'm so sorry, that never happens. It's some sort of kind of joke.

Yes, and I can also score up to three points per round, because I've got two of my own fake answers in for each question. So anyone can win, including the house. There's a script that I normally read here, but we're moving past it tonight. The answers are in for question number one. What does Fottok mean? A scientific name for the labial flaps of a sunfish.

Sorry. It's option one. Option two, a sharp upward movement during turbulence in a jet engine. Option three, hyperbolic slang for a large amount. It's an absolute futter. Option four, the middle timbers of a ship's frame between the floor and top timbers. Option five? Five?

Yeah, there's six options on the front. Your three, the real one, and then two house. option. You know when he didn't read out the script, it was probably in that. It was in that, yeah. You'll pick it up as you go along. The fifth option is it's the name for a trouser pocket that's been left hanging outside the trousers by accident.

Or finally, a Scots dialect version of Tuffet that appears in regional variations of the Little Miss Muffet rhyme. In these versions. she's often called morag and the spider is a crab all right Jay what do you think well safe to say nobody knew the real one

because there's no two that are quite similar yeah totally yes I'm drawn to the one about the ship because that's sort of hiding in there trying to be you know no nonsense which means it might just be nonsense okay locking that in for Jay what do you think Poppy

was there a what was it a pocket hanging out a little bit yeah pocket hanging out what would you say like your foot hooks hanging out your foot so I can see your footook um I'm tempted for that one what was Jay should I just copy Jay what did you what was the ship one that I didn't understand oh right something to do with wood and a ship yeah middle timbers of a ship's frame we haven't learned each other's tactics yeah we don't know whether people are trying to hide a boring one in there or whether the real answer like you can't can't outbatch you how real the answer is. Yeah.

Is this a test run? Or we're getting real points here? This is real. I'll go with a dirty little foot hook hanging out with a trouser leg. Yeah, why not? Well, you've fully changed the vibe of that. Sorry. Dirty little futter.

Dirty little, I can see yours, Matt. Oh, this is. All right, Mark, that leads you? Yeah, I was going to go for the timbers as well, because I just don't, that sounds too difficult to invent, I think to think about the structure of a ship. I don't know. I think he's played this game before. Yes, true. You've had time, haven't you?

Yes. Yeah, I'm still going with it. All right. Look, how proud he was. He smiled a lot more. Yeah, I know. We both chose that one. I'm slightly blinded by the blue lights. I can't quite tell.

But it'll be helpful if I could read your facial expressions properly, I think. I think they normally, yeah, people are often trying to inject here, and that's why they... Can't be too careful. Careful. All right. Here's the right the answer. The scientific name for the labial flaps of a sunfish.

That was Poppy. Sorry. That's all I got. By the way, I just want to say the mat man is so clever and I'm so thick. I'm the thick meat in the middle of this. He's loving him. I can't. I won't say anything else.

Sharp upward movement during turbulence in a jet engine. That was Jay. Oh. Ooh, that's good. A Scots dialect version of Tuffet. That was Andy Matthews, the question writer. Hyperbolic slang for a large amount. That was the house.

Feels like it, right? What an absolute fattick. Do some of these get coined in the aftermath, wrongly? I hope so. Yeah. People should write in to let you know, because that would be good. I do like an absolute futter.

It will get kind if we say it, a futter. come out yeah that's yeah uh now poppy went for the trouser pocket that was mark oh god and that means j mark our correct is the middle timbers of a ship's frame such a such a great word such a dull definition why does it need a word that thing yeah i don't i don't know i've gone years without needing to use well yeah that's what it used to mean anyway now it just means it's a really big thing an absolute futtock a fattuck so do you get no points for that yeah i mean we don't have to make a big no but again because you didn't read out that bit of the script i'm just

oh yes no i do get you get nothing do yes have i got nothing or have i got one yeah well no you got nothing interestingly marth didn't highlight that though can i've won for trying really hard with the Simfish thing. I'm going to put a column called Poppy Pity points. Pee-P. And you've got one there.

But after one round, the scores are Poppy in the house on zero. Poppy on one pity point. Jay on one point. But out in front, Mark, on two points. Question two comes from Dan Faulkner from Ramsgate in the UK. You wouldn't be in tonight, would you, Dan? Yes.

Yes. Dan's question, well, his instruction to you is you've got to come up with a fake species of fish. Poppy's already in the right mindset. Yes, thank you. So just the name, you don't have to describe it or anything, just the name of a fake species of fish. And while you're writing your answers, here's some more info about fattuck. Which, I mean, like I say, luckily the definition here does use the word, a foottock a few times, which makes it more fun than an otherwise would be. This is according to Oxford reference, the separate pieces of timber which form a frame

or rib in a wooded ship is called a fattuck. There are normally four or occasionally five fattics to a rib in a ship of moderate size. The one nearest the keel is known as the ground or naval fattuck, and the remainder being called upper fattics. Upper fattuck is fun. That is, that sounds like a suburb of London. I'm from Upper Fattuck. All right, the answers are in for question number two.

Which of these is a real species of fish? Six options. Gold laser cori. Three-tailed flumpfish. Mobsters enemy's friend. Slippery Simone or titfish. All right, Poppy, your turn to go first. What are you thinking?

Oh, what was the lobster friend once again? Mobster's enemy's friend. Are you saying lobster? Mobster. Mobster. Mobster's enemy's friend. Yeah. Why would they do that in a name?

Why would anyone think of, I'm going to go with that one. Well, was whoever wrote that maybe thinking of fisherman's friend? Oh, yes. Oh, mobsters, enemy, what, like a normal person, friend. Why would it go down that roof? They're all fishy words, because enemy sounds like seeing an enemy. Oh, my God. Mobsters sounds like lobster.

Friend sounds like fisherman's friend. It's the fissiest fish imaginable. That's really fishy. Sorry, it's not that one. That one, that one. Oh. Yeah. It gets fissier and fissier. All right, locking in for Poppy.

Mark, what is you going for? Mobsters. You went for that. so I thought you were just quizzing it as the most ridiculous one I have stated I am thick so hang on one of them had labia in it again yeah I don't want to go for that one what was the first one

gold blazer Corey gold blazer Corey I'm going to go for that I mean when I heard it I was like definitely not that and then I heard all the others I was like it has to be that bear in mind you wouldn't submit the question in the first place unless the real answer was a bit silly unless that's a bluff and the real answer is

you know, cod. So Mark, going for gold laser Corey? Yeah. Yep. All right, Jay, what do you think? Can I have the tit one. But what answer do you want to? What's it called again? Titfish.

Yeah, titfish. All right, titfish is locked in. His wrote the answers. Slippery Simone, that was the house. Linguill Trill, that was Jay. Okay, I've had to do this at every show in the UK, never anywhere else.

I thought this was the land of manners. When I say something like that was Jay, you applaud Jay. Thank you. Do you guys know what a lingualabial trill is? Yeah. No, it's... It's a linguistics term.

That's fantastic. Oh, you should have sent that in as a question rather than as your... Yeah. I thought everybody knew. Now, I'm not going to have to talk to you about this again, am I? The three-tailed flumpfish. That was Mark. Thank you so much.

They were going to do that anyway, I reckon. All right. Mops' enemy's friend. Poppy went for that. That was actually Dan, okay, the house. I get a point No, you gave me a point But Dan gets a point

But that means We can ask you, what was that about? Dude, now Jay made it sound way more clever than it was Why, yeah Sleeping with the fishes, fantastic Oh, right So pissed off so that means there's a point for the house there

now Jay went for titfish that was poppy yeah titfish that's a bona fide point not even your separate parallel set of points that time

that means hello editor Connor here sorry to interrupt unfortunately during the recording of this live episode every single microphone cut out for the worst possible 10 seconds while Matt reveals the correct answer of this question.

So now I get the prestigious honor of doing it for him. This is obviously a big moment for me. I'm certain my life will never again reach this higher peak. So the correct answer is gold laser Corey, which Mark went for. And now back to your regularly scheduled podcast. Fish have got some really stupid names. Honestly, titfish to me is less ridiculous than Gold Laser Corey. But again, it's hard to make that up, I think.

The Corey makes it sound a bit real. Do you know what I mean? You wouldn't, after gold laser, go Corey. Would you? All right, question three comes from Adam Knight from Croydon in South London. Which is where we are? Is Adam in? Adam's in as well, sick.

Yes. All right, Adam's question. is Penn Gillette from Penn and Teller named his daughter Moxie Gillette, but what is her middle name? So in a Penn and Teller, the famous illusionist or whatever, one of them, Penn, particularly, I don't know. I'm guessing he's the one who talks as he named his kid. Named his daughter, Moxie Gillette, but what is Moxie's middle name?

And while you're writing your answers, I'll let the audience know a little bit more about Gold Laser Cor. This is according to Dan. These small... This better be interesting. I'll tell you what, Dan. Are you sweating right now? You'd be feeling the pressure.

These small... Oh my God, I'm falling asleep already. Dan writes. These small communal catfish are really peaceful and have a lovely gold colour. That's actually really nice, Dan. As somebody who works in aquatics, I find submitting these questions difficult,

as to me, they just seem too obvious. normal oh my god full of yourself much jeez as a man who works in aquatics uh but he uh dan finishes by saying but hopefully these cute little catfish make the cut things like that it sounds like that it sounds like they're being served for dinner yeah but are they are they an eating fish or is or is uh you english should say etting fish probably not all of you english but david mitchell certainly um i've been listening to a book of it doesn't matter all right i think bloody hell the answers are in, some fantastic answers here as well. So the question is, what is Moxie Gillette's

middle name? Here are your options. Moxie. Teller. Crime fighter. Metosis. shredder or ta-da that's with

seven A's so it's Moxy Moxie Jolette Moxie Teller Jolette Moxie Crime Fighter Jolette Moxie mitosis Gillette Moxie Shredder Jolette

or Moxie Tada Jolette Mark what do you reckon? Oh that's this is the hardest one so far it could be any of them hang on you're two from two

though so yeah I know I feel of pressure now to get it right there was one that made more sense but can you quickly

go through them again very quickly moxie teller crime fighter metosis I'm going crime fighter I'm going crime fighter one made more sense

one one had a nice rhythm to it yeah it was that one all right locked in Jay what do you think

I was gonna go for crime fighter but like he's thrown me off I'm not sure yeah because people laughed at the fact

I chose it yeah I think I'm going to have mitosis, please. Mitosis, all right, locked in. Really, though. Would you call your child? No, but Pend Gillette? I don't know.

Well, because they pull rabbits out of hats, right? He might like a disease that would kill them. They rely on it, the turnover. Yeah. Turnover of rabbits. All right, that leaves you, Poppy. It's tallow. Come on.

Come on. You a big magic fan? No Just really confident on this question For some reason Here's the answer Here's the answers Moxie

That was Jay Shredder That was Poppy Tadda That was Mark Did I pronounce that about right Did I pronounce that about right Really

Yeah that's right Yeah, short, long down. Yeah, okay. Poppy, so confident of tell her. I'm afraid that was Adam, okay, the house. Right. Right. Jay went for mitosis.

I'm afraid that was also the house. And I honestly, I wrote it and only just thought of the rabbit connection. As I was saying, I'm like, this is actually really clever. And that means, can you believe? But Mark is correct again. It is Crime Fighter. I don't know if anyone's played the perfect game before, Mark, but you are on fire. How many rounds?

Six rounds. Halfway mark. Halfway mark. So, um... It's good. So question four comes from Saraj from Macau, and I'm pretty sure Saraj is in here. No, he's... Saraj

from Macau Wow Saraj is Saraj he's got a mysterious job but he will pop up at my shows around the world

wow can we all see him too yes yes oh yes I thought I thought you meant could I introduce you to it I'm like we have an open

relationship no see him no no he's a figment of my imagination. Saraj's question is, what is an interesting feature of the Atowa Aquarium in Kobe, Japan? Sort of titfish.

Really buxom fish? Just the aquatics guy know the answer. Oh my God. Not a clue. Not a clue. Okay. What is an interesting feature of the Attaxamian? Toa Aquarium in Kobe, Japan.

And while you're writing your answers, here's some more info about crime fighter, Gillette. This is according to Adam, Gillette explained the name saying, we chose her middle name because when she's pulled over for speeding, she can say, but officer, we're on the same side. My middle name is crime fighter. Now, for Time magazine, Gilbert Cruz wrote in a 2000, this was from an article about great middle names or great celebrity kids name. In a 2006 New York Times article about crazy celebrity names, magician Penn Gillette said of his daughter,

Moxie is a name that was created by an American for the first national soft drink and then went on to mean chutzpah. Hutzpah? Hutzpah. It's a silent chit. How does it feel to be corrected by that many people at once? I tell you what, it took a lot of...

I don't know. so he said it means chutzpah and that's nice he then went on to defend unusual names in general stating it's only the losers name dave that think having an unusual name is bad and who cares what they think their name dave dave kept copying a bit of a flyby there drive by flyby flyby doesn't matter um hey while you're still writing your answers Let's go for a quick break. And we're back.

The answers are in for question number four. What is an interesting feature of the Atoa Aquarium in Kobe, Japan? Here are your options. You can scuba dive in a hyper-realistic hammerhead shark costume so you can experience what it's like to live in a school of sharks. If you want, option two, all the fish. are robots. Option three, there is an exhibit where you can scratch and sniff the butts of a variety of

animals. Option four, couples are invited to make love in a glass room under the penguin section. Option five, it includes an experience center where you can be shocked by an electric eel. or finally, it has absolutely no water in it anywhere. That one and the robot one could be true. They could both be true at the same time. Probably just not an aquarium. All right, Jay, what are you thinking?

I was drawn to the, like, couples are encouraged to, like, have sex. But then the penguins ruined it for me. Why? Because, you know, the first half makes some sense. I wonder if they sort of set it up where it's like a, you know, lovely romantic setting. And then it turns out the fish didn't like it, so they put the penguins there. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I'm going to go for it, yeah. It's that one. You know what they say about penguins. What are you doing? You're going to win anyway. If that is the, I mean, you can take two points off me if that's the right answer. And it's risky.

Then now people, maybe somebody knows something. Okay. What are you thinking? They're trying to up that Japanese birth rate. a little bit, even in the aquariums. Anywhere, guys, anywhere. I've got an ageing population. I like the disgust you have.

And now in two, poppies pick last round, now Jay's. So great. It's adding a really great element, because you're winning, too. Yeah, I know, I know. But not only that, you're looking down on everyone else. Real chutzpah. Yeah, picked some. That's not actually how you pronounce it, mate.

Poppy, what do you think? I think I've been there before. And I can't remember any of the others, but I don't know. I think the electric eel one might be. But I don't know. I'm not sure. How I feel stupid. All right.

That's looked in for Poppy. Electric eel shocking. Okay. So I thought there was two or three of them that sounded like they could be in Japan. And one was the dressing up as a hamage. I can just, I don't know, I feel, I can just, and also the scratch and sniff one. But now you say also maybe the eel one.

Like, what would it be like to be electrified by an electric eel? Yeah. And like, I can see that being quite interesting. But would it, would it be, would it, who was the aquatic guy? Would that, wouldn't kill you, would it? I mean, it might, okay. You got any help with you all. answer. I'm going to go with, I think

I'm about to lose my winning run here, but I'm going to go with the hammerhead shots. All right, here's the right, the answers. It has absolutely no water in it anywhere. That was Mark. All the Fisher robots, that was Jay. I was going to say, I knew that was Jay. Yeah.

You're a big robot. Obviously, you. Yeah, right. There you go. Now, it includes an experience center where you can be shocked by an electric eel. That was actually written by Saraj, Poppy. Saraj. Oh, God. Jay Sarash.

It's the nerdyest version of Fight Club. He made up all the answers himself in the end. Whoa. Sorry if that's a spoiler. Jay went for the horny penguins. That was Poppy. Sorry, Jay. Got tricked again.

I'm so relieved that wasn't the right one. Honestly, I felt like I staked a lot on that. Now, but interestingly, there's two options left and they're the two that you were choosing between. The Scratch and Sniff and the hyper-realistic Hammerhead Shark. The Hammerhead Shark one, I'm afraid, was the house. It's the Scratch and Sniff. So close. Do you know what I'm annoyed about?

I very nearly picked that one because I thought the word butts eliminated all four of us straight away. It was that, wasn't it? Yeah. You can smell the arses of different aquatic animals. But it's not, it's land animals as well. Why would you do?

What's it doing? Well, you're the only one here who's been there. I think I blanked out that. I wouldn't, I want to sniff. I wouldn't to experience this. I might go back and have a sniff. I don't know. Sorry, you're going to go back to Japan

to sniff the asses of some animals. Yes, please. Siraj, have you sniffed these assholes of... I think a date, me and you. I like to put the brain scanner on and see how they feel about it. Oh, turtle, yes. Poppy, can I just say, I never said assholes. I'm just saying what we're all thinking.

You're really honed in there, haven't you? All right, we're up to the penultimate question here. This one comes from Gregory Gripman from St. Albans in the UK. Woo! Where's St. Albans? North of North London. Okay. It's not far north.

You're making out like it's really north. Well, I mean, we're down in Ballon. It's pretty far north from here. North of London. It feels far north of here. Where is it? where are you in the audience I just I just stared at the disco ball

how long did it take you to get here today oh fair enough it's not that fun that's amazing that's a short drive in London alright oh you drove a train so now Gregory's question is this is a penultimate question

In the year 2004, during the annual Harvard Yale football game, what prank did those funny Yale students play on Harvard fans? So the Yale students pranked the Harvard fans at a football game in 2004. What do they do while you're writing your answers? Here's some more info about the animal butts. And I don't know. this reference, I don't know if I fully believe this, but the website's called Times Now News. Sounds fake, but anyway, it writes, this is your gentle reminder that no matter what bridge

you bungee jump from or which mountain you climbed, no matter what exotic country you visit, what a long run-up this is, what exotic country you visited or what rare food you tasted, the truth is that your adventure list is surely not complete if you still haven't visited this Japan Museum that allows you to sniff the butts of various animals. Yes, first of all, such a museum does exist. And second, no, they will not actually let you sniff real butts. Oh, hang on. Well, this is a video was recently shared on social media

which showed people rather dedicatedly and curiously sniffing pictures of butts. Yes, you guessed it. the butts belonged to the animals that were in the respective frames. You guessed, yeah. You don't know, they confirmed that, oh no. Jay is, honestly, Jay, for the listeners at home, Jay is furious that there weren't real animals. He's thrown his phone down, no, they were just pictures of animals, I'm afraid.

Cats, tigers, penguins, you name it. The museum has it. all those three things each portrait along with a picture of the back of a particular animal had a tiny hole on the glass which allowed visitors to sniff the said animals but as per reports the pictures were infused with artificial fragrances that were doing the job just fine of leaving people with an experience that they never knew they ever needed Has anyone done that? No.

Honestly, I thought this was a more cultured crowd than that. All right, answers are in for question number five. In 2004, during the annual Harvard Yale football game, what did Yale students do to prank the Harvard fans? Here are your options. They pretended there was an E. coli outbreak, complete with a football mascot vomiting and defecating on the pitch.

Option two, they tied all their shoelaces together in one long line. Option three, disguises Harvard students. They distributed thousands of placards to Harvard fans who were told it would spell Go Harvard, but it actually spelled, we suck. Option four, they snuck powdered laxatives into a dozen keg dispensers, causing a mass exodus to the bathrooms before the first. quarter even ended. They hypnotised the Harvard mascot, making him perform distasteful gestures to his own fans

whenever a touchdown was scored. Or finally, they strode out onto the pitch, dressed in their opponent's kit, so everyone looked the same, and no one knew who to pass the ball to. What do you think, Poppy? Oh, I don't know. I quite like the We Suck one. I thought that was good. God, I don't know.

I'm going to go with that one, yeah. We suck, locked in. We suck, yeah. Locked in. What do you think, Marks? Well, I think we all want it to be the hypnotized mascot, don't we? But I'm going to go with Poppy as now. Are you?

What are you picturing as the distasteful gestures? It's leaving a little bit to the imagination there, isn't it? You know the cat. Jay, do you want to go the same or go your own way here? No, the reason I don't think it's the we suck one is because, like, these are two very clever universities, and I think they'd have gone for something more cerebral than we suck. Yeah, what is something like here,

the square on the hypotenuse is wrong angle of it, you know. But none of them were that? No, well, I... Yeah, you want to... Because you've only got the answer to... You're going to invent a new one that you think it was. You think it wasn't in that? I...

No, well, I think, I think, it's going to be as the E. coli one, the really elaborate one. Okay. And I'm going to regret that. I've got none of them right, have I? No. Right. I don't think so. I mean, do you want me to put together a pity column

for you as well? Can I have a pity half point? A pity half point, all right. J. Pity. Point five. All right. Here's who wrote the answers. they dress in their opponent's kit so everyone looked the same

that was Jay that's good that's good that's a lot of fun and I like the idea that because I guess the helmets and stuff is like surely they still know

what their teammates look like but maybe they would not through the helmets also I realized after I sent that the question was what did they do to the fans and not the players to each other I was like oh well that's not right is it but I think I got away with it they're sort pranking themselves as much

as they're all in the same the hypnotized mascot that was the house sorry everybody the powdered laxatives in the keg dispensers that was gregory okay the house they tied all their shoelaces together in one long line that was mark it's never going to be true wasn't it now jay went for the e coli outbreak. That was Poppy. Poppy, I've picked yours four times in a row. I can manipulate

you so well. I mean, I don't know what to do with this power. I'm so sorry. And that, of course, means that Poppy and Mark are correct. It is, we suck. Yay! But I'm with you, Jay. That doesn't feel

beneath them, doesn't it? I shouldn't have thought about it, really. No, I think you were right and that they were wrong. Yeah, we suck. I'm so annoyed about the hammerhead shark thing now. Oh, no. Now I'm back in the game. A little blip there.

So, oh my God, going to the final round, things are interesting. You've done this before. Yeah, yeah. Final round's worth triple points, I should say, though, Jay. So it's still truly anyone's game, but going into the final round... Can we still not beat Mark? No, no. Anyone can win.

Triple points. You could screw up to nine points this round, if you get it right, and they both guess yours, you see. I'll take it seriously this time, then. Scores going on in the final round. Jay's on one. Yeah. Poppies on four. Really?

Yeah. Mark's on five. Oh, my God. And the house is on seven. Oh, shit. They forgot themselves for a second. They turn that cheer and or boo halfway through. Oh.

But the house can't get triple points in the final round. So all the advantages to the guests. And the final question, it'll be your longest answer. It's a movie synopsis question. And this one comes from Philly Ellis from Alton in Hampshire. Is that anywhere near here? Define near? Under an hour.

No. No. That's just the end of the block. If they run very, very, very fast. Philly's question is, what is the synopsis for the film Disco Godfather? What is the synopsis for the movie, Disco Godfather? you're writing your answers.

So that is a real movie? That is a real movie. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I think pretty obscure, I would say. But a classic in its own circles. You know, the disco godfather circles. So here is an article about, I say an article, it's the Wikipedia page, about the Harvard Yale prank.

At the annual Harvard Yale football game on November the 20th, 2004, Yale students, costumed as a Harvard PEP squad distributed placards to Harvard fans for a card stunt. Be very careful with that one. Card stunt. When the fans raised the placards together, they read, we suck.

The practical joke was conceived of and coordinated by Michael Kai and David Elchino to Yale students in the class of 2005 and was executed with the help of 20 classmates. The perpetrators handed a crimson and white placards to fans in the central area of the Harvard side of the stadium, mostly Harvard alumni, with a few faculty students and others. The group told the crowd that by lifting the placards, they would spell go Harvard.

Most Harvard students were sitting in a section off to the side of the alumni area where the prank was executed and they left the stands unaware of the prank. However, players on the field did see the placards. Initially, many at Harvard. Harvard denied that the prank had happened. There's photos of it. That's so funny. In response, Yale students registered the domain name Harvard sucks.org.

Or org, depending on how you pronounce it. As well as Yale sucks.com in a preemptive move. Clever. That's clever. That's clever. And posted a video detailing their efforts. Chuck Sullivan, Harvard's director of athletic communications, said, Chuck Sullivan, that's I can't be real, that's a made-up American name.

Chuck Sullivan here. Oh, Mark, can you, I know you're not listening. But you've been working on your American accent. Can you just, can you... No, please don't. Can you just say, I'm Chuck,

Chuck... All right, first, I'm going to challenge myself to say it. Okay. I'm Chuck Sullivan, Harvard's Director of Athletic... communications. Of what? Athletic communications.

I'm, I'm Chuck. I'm Chuck. My name is Chuck. What's my name, sorry? Chuck Sullivan. Chuck Sullivan. And I'm the chairman of something athletics. That's my best.

So the chapter, the chapters of, it's, the chapter is a podcast transcript. And so I've been trying to do Ira Glass, but it's really tricky. That's my best. Yeah. I'm never, ever listening to the audio book. I'll never. I tell you what, you just sold me on the audiobook. If you want to hear Mark doing that and hating himself for an hour and a half.

It was a really long Friday, that chapter. So Chuck Sullivan said, it was all in good fun. Or as my impersonation of Mark doing an impersonation of an American, it was all in good fun. In an interview with the Harvard Crimson, the pranks organizers claimed that members of the Harvard band were complicit with the Yale pranksers. The prank was covered by newspapers,

radio programs, Jimmy Kimmel Live, MSNBC, and several other TV shows. Several magazines have listed the prank among the greatest in college history. It's, I mean, I'll show you a photo. It's, uh, it's, uh, it's, I can't. Well, I was going to turn it around.

But now I'm not sure I want to. The absolute moxie of this man. It is. It is, like, the photo isn't great anyway, but. Yeah. That sucks, yeah. That sucks. Yeah, yeah.

It looks like a QR code. The answers are in for the final question. What is the synopsis for the film? Disco Godfather. Here are options. Only five this time. Just one house option. So here you go.

When two best friends go head to head in order. to win over their third best friend to become their kid's godfather. There's only one day to settle this, and it's on the disco dance floor. I reckon that's only one way to... There's only one way to settle this, and it's on the disco dance floor. Disco godfather funky dance off, who will win this freak off? It's option one, option two. It's about a down and out former American ice hockey star

who loses custody of his kids in a messy divorce. Depressed, aimless, overweight, and directionless. His old buddy, the goalkeeper and his team, invites him to become the godfather to his child, against his wife's wishes. When the goalie friend and his wife die in a car crash, our hero takes on full parenting responsibilities for the godson. But he struggles with the new role

and fails to bond with him. Until that is, they both discover a shared love of disco. It culminates in an iconic disco dance-off at the school show. That's option two. Option three. A young boy befriends a whale with a floppy fin called Willie. And helps him jump over a big wall at the end of the film. That is definitely Jay.

It's definitely Jay. 100%. Option four. A retired cop becomes a DJ slash celebrity at the Blueberry Hill Disco. He's the Disco Godfather. All is well until his nephew flips out on a strange new drug that's sweeping the streets. Disco Godfather vows to personally come down on the suckers that's producing this shit. While still managing the disco, he takes.

the streets to slap some sense into the drug dealers. Or finally, twins Michael and Simon are grandsons of Papa Dazzler, a horrible ex-adult film star and nightclub owner. After finding out Papa Dazler has sold their mother's earn to fund his co-cabbit, they use a mysterious psychic to hypnotise Papa into a never-ending dance. Will Papa dance himself to death? Or will he discover the twins' plans? Oh, if it's that, I'm watching it.

All right, Mark, what do you reckon? There's a couple of quite good ones in there, I think. I like the... I think I'm going to go with the retired cop, maybe. The one who's... It sounds like a bit of an 80s, silly 80s film. Yeah, the sort of busting drugs on the streets guy. Yeah.

Fine, that's it. No one was asking. but it is that definitely I am just oh yes I'm like which one's that the first three words I'm going to change you now

because clearly it's not that no I know no they're a tired cop fantastic Jay what do you think I think it's the second one I think is the one I think is the one with the betrothing their

kid to it and then there's a parent's car crash and that one yep you're not you're not drawn to the whale story at all I like the sound of it, but I don't think it's this one.

Poppy, what do you think? I think retired cop as well, yeah. Two retired cops? Yeah, yeah, locked in. I honestly was going through and going, which of these is about a retired cop? The literal first three words of it is a retired cop. Yeah.

So that is on me. Just a quick scan. Yeah. All right, here's the road the answers. Triple points on the line. Yeah. The one about the horrible ex-adult film star, Papadazzler.

That was Poppy. And Jay didn't pick it. I didn't vote for it this time. You didn't pick it. My magic powers have begun. I mean, you painted a vivid picture. Mark, that's the one you said you would definitely watch, right? Sorry, I don't think it was, no.

It was. It was. The one about a young boy befriending a whale with a floppy fin called Willie. That was Jay. The one about the two best friends going ahead to head in order to win over their third best friend, that was Philly, okay, the house. Now, Jay went for the one about the former ice hockey star, whose friend's parents died in a car crash.

That came from... That's the part of mighty ducks, isn't it? That came from the twisted mind of Mark. And that means that Mark and Poppy are correct. It is a retired cop. Yes. Well done. Yes.

All right. So while I'm adding up the scores, I can tell you, somehow I'm pretending I'm doing both those things at the same time, I can tell you that critics like this film. On Rotten Tomatoes, it's got an 83-p3. approval rating. Audience don't like it as much.

It's 50%. A review from Michael de Quina reads, putting the words disco and Godfather in a title is already inviting trouble. But the makers of this urban drama not only embrace it, they downright make love to it. I really don't know what that means,

but it's a great review. All right, final score check. In fourth place. doing a fantastic job to know I will say on one point it's Jay and a half pity point

yes you came second in pity you lost and nobody pities you lost and nobody pities you the most it's a superlative now in equal second place with seven points apiece it's poppy in the house

yes amazing poppy also won the pity count with one whole pity point but that means way out in front and absolutely dominating to be honest on 11 points it's Mark

thanks so much thanks so much Good morning. It's been a lot of fun. Really appreciate you taking the time. Jay, where can people find you? You can search Map Men on YouTube and you can buy our book this way up when maps go wrong, available from all good bookshops. How about you, Poppy? You can find my podcasts on anywhere that you get your podcast and you can go and search for me on Instagram. I'm on there and I'll post a picture of my cat's asshole. Asap, as soon as I get back. have my

I'm in South East London I'm in South East London Big round of applause to our guests Khan our tech cheers for tuning in so who knew with Matt Stewart and now that you know it

I've been Matt Stewart goodbye no you're all right I am, I'm just now being told I need to download WhatsApp. What that's, well, I figured, you know, everything else has gone perfectly well today. The backup plan is your whisper it in my ear. Oh no. Fuck.

This is good. Download. No, look, what? Now, I think if I, if I just act like this is all on purpose, no one will even know. Are we going to have to SMS it instead? To an Australian number? That might be worse.

That might be worse to a laptop. I mean, what we could do is, should we get up one at a time and then whisper it in your ears? Yeah, I like the whispering, but that's, Does anyone in this room have WhatsApp At a laptop? I'm a big ASMR fan That's mainly the reason

I mean this is a bit of boring admin But I've genuinely got my laptop And I don't mean to show off But I've got WhatsApp I look I'll tell you what At the show in Wales I had WhatsApp But that was last night So I don't know

I'm not really sure what's happened in between Oh you didn't pay the tariff Over the Welsh English quarter Oh, you know, I mean, I've got it on my phone, I could just I've got a message. This is the show, right? This is the show. Is this what they call a cursed show?

I think this is. Oh, hang on. Confirm. Use mobile data, sure. Look, let's look dangerously. Okay, hang on. this is happening. It's happening.

It's happening. A few people, so if it listens at home, I had to do the door, which I was always planned, of course, and a few people in the line were like, oh, we were sent here by Michelle Brazier, and someone said, oh, we were sent here by the weekly planet. I'm like, well, hopefully it's a good show. And obviously, the first impressions for those guys are, okay, we're in. But now I've just got to... I haven't even explained the scoring, which I'll do now briefly.

Jay, can I ask you something while I cut and paste some answers? You'll ask me anything you like. The Map Men, people have been so excited. When I announced the Map Memor on, they were like, how do you know the Map Men? I have to say, well, I don't. We go back ages, you and me. Okay, great.

Do you remember that time out in the corridor? About one hour ago. Where you said, can I help with these chairs? Yeah. We've aged since then. We have. Oh, my God. No, can I tell them that we go way back?

It makes for a better podcast. Okay, great. Yeah, we go way back. But if people don't know, do you want to explain what the Matt Men's all about? Matt Men is a very silly comedy series. Well, actually, I think Mark can tell you as well, because he's in the MapBen as well. Well, it's better if one of us does it at a time, I think.

Oh, that's true. Why don't you start? I'm not going to try and do it at the same time. We really should be slicker at this by now. Have you forgotten? Do you want me to... One word each? Map men is a YouTube series

All About Maps. And we've... And we've never done that before. Well, that. We've not sold it very well. Chat GPT at your heart out. That is how chat GPT works, one word at a time. Do we need to say anything else about it, or is that something up there?

If you could talk for another 30 seconds about it, that would be fantastic. Whose term was it? Wait, Poppy, do you want to join in? If you've ever seen it. I don't know if my, is my mic, is the cable? Is the cable? Which means sort of. Sort of.

Yeah. Pull it in and out. Have you brought your own? Have you, have you brought your own? Oh, shit. Give it a shove. For the recording, she said, shall I blow in it? Did you bring your own spare cable like you were asked?

Oh, yeah. Oh, sorry. Oh, there we go. Maybe that's... Kahn's ears have just blown off. Yeah. I feel so bad. Karn's come in.

Okay. I will say this to the audience. Kahn, it is literally his first day on the job. Oh, wow. Poor Kahn. Maybe it's fixed now. Maybe I just said to blow in it. He's absolutely smashing it.

Should we do any of it? Yeah, why not? We'll just have a spare. So if anything happens to any of the four of us. This is classic Khan. Always ready. Thank you, Kahn. Big Ramon.

Wow. Poppy, what do you reckon? What, Kahn? Yeah. Oh, he's lovely. Why you've, you've, Can, yes. Oh, my God. Are you just going to stay there? What about the tech test? Can't go back to the tech test. Do it. Oh, no, he's going. He's going. He's going. What about me? What about what? No, that's all right. All right. So, do you have to do that copy-pasting job every time?

No. But it'll be even smoother than that. Yeah, okay. Because I don't think I'll have to re-logging to WhatsApp each time. Okay, great. All right. So, I mean, usually one of you would be sort of helping me out, but I thought, I want you all playing. I'll take on all the admin roles so you can all play, okay?

So if you think this reflects badly on me, it's actually reflecting on my generosity of spirit. All right, Jay's answers in. All the answers are in. Now, Poppy, what a great opportunity. I've asked about Matt, man. What about you? You love a podcast.

And yours are always, like, high concept. Yeah, yeah. What are you working on at the moment? I've got Brainwash Me, where I wear a brain scanner and people try and convince me to be into whatever passion or kink, whatever they're into. And then if it peaks my brainwaves, then they win. So it's horrible.

Like, I've, yeah, apparently I'm into, you know, a bit of skis. Gats. But I want to plainly say I'm not. I'm not. My brain is, but I'm not. I don't know how to explain. What can I do? It's quite exposing, isn't it?

Oh, it's horrible. I should have never come up with this concept at all. I want to delete everything in reverse. I like how you're like, you regret it, but you're very happy to tell a room full of strangers. I need to tell someone like that. So he's not come out yet. I need to, you know, I need to share, yeah.

Do you guys do that on Matman? You do any scat? Crane scans. Scat, well. Not yet, no. Scatman's a different podcast. So you, Jay, I'm going to do a little quick cut and paste. Boy, I'm doing that.

I'd love to hear. So Matman's just part of your career. You're a musical comic as well. Technically, yeah. I didn't bring my guitar today, though. Oh, well, don't worry about it. But have you been touring with the musical comedy much lately? I used to do musical comedy a lot more years ago

until I started doing loads of maps by mistake. So the maps wasn't the drain. I had my finger in many different dream pies until one of them sort of engulfed the other fingers. Who would have guessed it would have been maps? Maps. It's so great that you've made a comedy career out of maps. It turns out there's map geeks out there.

So good. They found us. Have you ever considered coming and doing, like, in Melbourne, there was a classic road guard called the Melways. I mean, you could have a great time with that. So I've actually geekily read up about it. You know the Melways? This looks fascinating.

Tone it down, other people don't care. Oh, man. You come and do a whole show about. Would you show me around, like drive me around the unfinished motorways? Yeah. Oh, I'd love it. I actually, no, anyway, I was going to... First time I'd snorted a line if something was off of Melways.

Anyway, I was in a car at a music festival. And the guy goes, oh, I hope we could use this. And I go one second, and I open up to the page of my childhood home. Anyway, might edit that out. I didn't say what, it was an... It was an legal. No. Apologies for all of that.

I've never, you should have seen the way Jay looked at me then. The respect just vanished from his eyes. And to be honest, I don't think there was a lot in the first place. Can we all see him too? Yes. Yes? Oh, yes. I thought, I thought you meant, could I introduce you to it?

I'm like, we have an open relationship. No, see him. No, no, he is a figment of my imagination. I only see him after I snort stuff off of the Melways. I mean, this is obviously, this is just for the edit. Oh, a break from, we can still. Jay looks at me like, ooh, we're going for a break. Can we sell anything we're advertising?

Yeah, what would I? Are you advertising in the moment? Some sort of VPN, probably. We have got a book coming out next month. Oh, really? Yeah, is it a real book. It is about maps, though. Yeah, great.

It's that the Map Men book is coming out next month. Really? It's a real book as well. That's exciting. Fantastic. Where will people be able to get a hold of it? We've been told to say that you can only get it from good bookshops, but apparently you can get it a bad bookshops, too.

It's called This Way. when maps go wrong and uh you'll know it's the right one because it's orange ours is the orange book called when maps go wrong so there there are others obviously that must be it's quite a stumble uponable name i think but ours is the orange one i'm good and bad bookshops you're not really selling it aren't you you just keep saying it's orange we spent a while choosing that's the main thing we said yourself that you really liked that color yeah it's true well it's a great color for a book cover yes yeah we like the inside too

yeah now and if people were going to do anything illicit on it would you encourage that or it was just a one-off time it was many years ago jay it was in australia most likely it was washing detergent anyway but all right

all right the answers are in Can I just double-check, Jay. What color is your new book? What color? Yeah, what color? I think it's orange. Albury orange. Have you found it?

I think, I'm just feeling, but I think, just covering while I'm doing a bit of cutting and pasting. But I'm thinking of a really good follow-up question here to the book. Who did you get to write the forward? Well, Mark and I sort of divide it up. between us who was writing different chapters. But if you know our writing styles, you can sort of read the book and try to guess which chapters are mark

and which one's mine. That's awesome. That wasn't really what the question was. No. I can't remember who wrote the foreword. Oh, the forward is in where somebody else says... Yes. Okay, so what Jay's revealing here

is he's never read a book. And even the process of researching this book didn't change that. Jay, you know, he listens to audiobooks, don't you? You're an audiobook man. and I've actually never listened to an audio book so the process of writing it

Jay was often thinking yeah but we can't do that because it'd be difficult to read when we do the audio book and it doesn't matter we'll do that later and then it got to the bit we did the audio book and I had to do an American accent for quite a lot of pages and I was like ah you were right actually this is this is difficult

I haven't sniffed in animals' books but when I pushed my cat my cat woke me up at half four in the morning the other day this is really fucking bad I got angry at him and I pushed him through the cat flap and my index finger went up his ass on. And then, did you take a curious sniff after this? Do you know what?

No reaction from him whatsoever. Is that why he was dawdling in the cat flap? And now he just stands there waiting, doesn't it? He's just stuck free that cap flap. Come on, I'm not going until I get the finger. All right. Do you want more cat stories? Yeah, yeah.

Oh, what other animals have you fingered? There's so many. I don't think I've ever, that's the first animal asshole I've ever put my finger in tea. But there was another thing with his asshole. really, really ill. And at the vet, they slipped the thermometer into his bum, and they were like, look, poppy, he's so ill. He has no reaction. And I was like, yeah, it's really sad. And then he got better over the weeks. And then we took him back for his, like, final checkup. And they got the thermometer, and they were like, this is going to be a whole different story. And they slipped

it in. And he had no reaction again. And we just mean, the vet just looked to each other. And I was like, yeah, I'll take him home yet. I don't know what. what's been happening. That's so funny. So you weren't surprised when it... When it went straight in. I'm going to be honest. You're not going to believe this,

but it's happened twice with me pushing him out of the cat's life. And he's had no reaction even time. His assholes so big as well. It is now. Finger me once. yeah it's a big asshole yeah that is because you're like

I mean your fingers are fully human sauce oh yeah they're quite small but he's how big would you say it's bigger than a 50 pence piece it's like a commemorative coin size

he's always had a big asshole since we've had him as a kitten how does your cat oh my God what are we talking about I just come back my cat's asshole how big show us again it's like that what would you say that that is

that's too big yeah it's too big that's about the size of a pog yeah it is a pog sized yeah I thought like maybe is it like beat oh no beat headphones like that that bit is that's too big isn't it that would be

yeah there is a way of finding out how big it is if you go home to your cat get these objects. I'm not risking that again. My finger will just slip in somehow and I don't know what to when that's happening again. Don't use a valuable pod. You might never see it again.

It's shiny. I was almost going on. I'm not going to, but I was almost going to say, can you send us a photo? I can post on socials. Maybe not, actually.