Who Knew It with Matt Stewart - 174 - Kwame Asante, Rachel Baker, Tal Davies

Episode Date: January 12, 2026

Who Knew It with Matt Stewart is a comedy game show podcast hosted by Australian comedian Matt Stewart. Episode 171 features British comedians Kwame Asante, Rachel Baker, Tal Davies!This episode was recorded live at the Glee Club in Birmingham, England!Support the show via http://patreon.com/dogoonpod and you can submit questions for the show!Check out Matt's new stand up special: https://youtu.be/ZgukEPerWZc?si=SW8PttGAB-ly_GF8And his last stand up special: https://youtu.be/cWStRpI-BhESee the podcast/Matt live: https://www.mattstewartcomedy.com/Check out Matt's podcast network: https://dogoonpod.com/Theme song by Evan Munro-Smith, Logo by Murray Summerville and edited by Connor Schmidt! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to Who Knew with Matt Stewart, the show where the guest's right, the wrong answers. I'm the titular Matt Stewart. Now, first guest is a Birmingham-based comedian and emergency medicine doctor. It's Kwamey Asante. Now, is that all correct what I said? Because that seems wild. Which part? Birmingham-based, who do that?

So you're on the tools today? No, not on shift today, but yes, I do work on. in Birmingham. A&E. I don't even know what that means, but I'm so impressed by it. If you leave the UK without finding out, you've had a great trip.

Okay, great. Schimmett's arson somewhere. I just don't know. Our second guest this week was a funny woman finalist in 2020. It's Rachel Baker. You're pretty happy with that credit.

You know, I did a little Googling. Yeah, well, we both are, actually. Same year. Yeah? Yeah. So actually, I thought, who are you going to Say, can I just, yeah. What was so funny, Rachel's a close friend of mine has been for many years.

And as he said, A&E doctor, she was like, a bit. She genuinely thought that might have been my intro. Sorry, go on. No, no, I'm just proud of you, man, you know. It's great stuff. And yeah, I love, I love that intro. I said some of the, that's one of the best intros I've ever got. That's so good to hear.

Thank you. Yeah. Great to me. Well, I've, I've, I've gone on. different way, even though our final guest is also a funny woman finalist in 2023, but also has been featured on BBC's live from the UK. It's Tal Davis. Now, backstage, when Tal and I were talking, I really got in my head. And I'm like, I'm going to fuck up the pronunciation of your name. And she said, how? It's three letters.

How do I go? Oh, no. That's brutal. There's a silent bee at the start, but it's. Oh, wait. No, actually, if you were silent, though. Voisted by my own partard, sorry. It's invisible but audible. Yeah. All right, so the way the show works is ask a relatively obscure trivia question,

and our contestants have to write a convincing fake answer. I then read their answer as well as the real one, and I have to guess which one's correct. Does anyone here not heard the show before? Yeah, that's right. That's right. Here is the first question. It comes from Jessica Nicole Emmons from Wellver, Spain.

The question is, what does yod dropping mean? What does yod dropping mean? Why did you scoff at that in the front row? It's quite a funny word. Oh, funny word. I thought you were like, everyone knows what that means. I thought these were meant to be difficult questions. Next.

While they're writing their answers, I'll explain how the scoring work. So you get one point if your fake answer is guessed by the other contestant. And another point, if you correctly guess the answer, and by the way, I'm also playing as the house. Damn it. I reckon one show they're going to love the house, but it's not this crowd. So as the house, I've put in two of my own fake answers for each question with help with the question writer, and we get a point for each one of those that I guess choose. So each of us conscript to three points per round, which seems fair, but the probability actually favors me.

The house. Your heart's not in it. You love the house. You love the house. You're trying to play. Yeah, I knew it. I knew it. Nice try.

All right. The answers are in for question number one. What is yod dropping? Here are your options. A human poo. That's so you. Option two. Where you drop your yogurt on.

concrete and it makes a splat noise. Option three, Gen Alpha slang used to describe breaking up with romantic partners or yods. In a brutally casual or emotionalist way. That's option three. Option four. The omission of the y'ass sound

in some words in certain dialects of English, such as the way that June is pronounced in the American accent as Dune. Oh. The yacht is the yard, I guess. Then you've got more in your boat on public land without a permit. I'd guess public water probably.

And finally, similar to crop dusting, which is breaking wind as you walk past someone. But instead of farts, it's fully cacking your dacks. You kind of bookended with excreater there, didn't we? All right. do you think Kwami? Is there any of them jumping out at you? Oh, wait. Oh, hang on. Before we get into this, wait. You're looking

at my face to try and figure out. Oh. Which one of that. Oh, is, oh, you're looking for tells. Oh, okay. Yeah. Well, no, I'm looking at you because he said, call me, what do you think? It's called fucking manners. Oh, right. I thought you made, who do you think? Which one do you think is always? Oh, no. Fine. Sorry. Okay.

What do I think? I think. I mean, we can take this outside if you. what kind of. This is adding up to me, though, because in the green room, apparently, Rachel, you were wondering if you needed a prep before the show. Is that right? Oh, yeah. But I listened to a few and I realise you don't. Yes.

That's right. If anything, do you want to come underprepared? But then you message climbing? Right. So I opened my phone and I had like eight voice notes from Rachel, which isn't uncommon. It can mean something life-altering or she's, found a pencil. I found a sewing machine yesterday.

Oh, okay. That didn't make the aid for. That'll be voice at number nine. And she was like really stressing out that we needed to prep. And then it got in my head, do we need to prep? And I was like, Kwamey's like the sensible one of the groups. So I was like, Kwame, do we need to prep? And he was like, maybe.

And I was like, what does that mean? And then he just laugh reacted my answer, which I think is dirty tactic. Yes. He's in it to win it. I like it. Kwami was playing the game since this morning. I've been playing a game this morning. So now do you want to play the game in a more traditional way?

The game, the game. So do you need to hear any of them again, or have you got one that's standing out to you? I think the one that's quite long and eloquent might be Rachel's. Really? That is such a beautiful little compliment. Yeah, it is. So wrong.

No, well, maybe right. But wow, that's kind of... The eloquent one is that the cacking your dax? I think it's maybe, actually. Yeah. So you got human poo, yogurt splat, Gen Alpha breakup, dropping the yuss sound from words like June,

mooring your boat on public land, or similar to crop dusting. Yeah, I think cacking your dacks Rachel. She does say breaking wind a lot. Yeah, I tend to say breaking wind.

I'm sorry, breaking wind. And I remember hearing breaking wind in that and I instantly thought Rachel. Not because she breaks him so much. It's because that's her term

of choice. I think it's the June. Yeah, we take it in turn. Should I shut up? Yeah, well, no, I mean, we're all still

waiting for Kwamey, but I'm sorry. You think it's me but that one, but do you, Which one do you think is correct? Oh, it's correct. Sorry, I, thinking about now, I probably should have.

Probably should have explained to you at all before now. They were asking me for advice. Maybe. Laugh emoji. I want to know which one you think is the real meaning of yod dropping. I think dropping the yos sound. Dropping the yos sound, yep. and Rachel

Yeah, am I allowed to go for the same one? Yeah, definitely. To make it interesting, maybe I'll go for the mooring one because I think that one also potentially has some... Okay. I thought it would be that until he laughed about the land, but... I didn't even hear that. To be honest, I didn't even hear that one,

but then I heard it on the second round about mooring. I thought, well, it sounds like it could be a legitimate answer. I'll go with that. I'll make it a bit interesting. Okay, great, fantastic. I love it to be a bit interesting. That'd be fantastic. And tell what do you think?

I'm going to be boring and I think it is also that drop in the year thing. I can't remember what, but there was a word in it and I was like, none of us. Elycony not have said that word under pressure. Look at the resentment in his face. Sorry, Carby. You are an NHS hero. You are very clever. I'm looking for what word you think is so high.

And there's a mission. Probably. This is the Birmingham Day of the tour. Or not it's maybe dialects. That's pretty good. Dialects is a good one. And we didn't have a lot of time as well. So there was quite a lengthy answer that one.

All right. So that's locked in. Here's who wrote the answers. Where you drop your yogurt on concrete and it makes a splat noise. That was Rachel. Thank you. A fantastic noise, I think. Yes.

And, you know, I would say, Rachel, because Kwame said that yours sounded long and eloquent. I reckon, compared to Kwame, is fair enough. His was a human poo. It was the best one, yeah. The one about Kackenya Dax. That was the house. And I think as I read it out, I'm like,

is that an Australian or an English saying? It was quite Aussie. Kackenu Dax is Australian. I love, I love Colourneux. but I the gen alpha slang one that was by Jessica the question writer

and that means that Kwami and Tal oh sorry the mooring you bought one right to remember that was Tal yeah sorry I was being proffered like that one from the traitors being like oh I thought maybe more you too

oh you're good more than one of us is in it to win it right but that does mean that yeah the correct dancer is dropping the yes sound. So, well done. Geez, look at the crowd go wild. I really enjoyed.

Real, I feel like, could you feel the disappointment? They're like, really wanted it to be poo. So after one round, we've got Kwami on one point. And I, like, every time I'm going to say, you know, I'm so in my head about saying, Tal. Tal? Tau. I'm one now I want to say tall

you can I'm adding that's okay I'm adding a fourth letter into it Southern people sometimes say tall tall all right tall um Tal's out in front on two points

so here is question two this one comes from Amy White from Tallahassee in Florida and Helena Kirk from Birmingham you're internet Helena and uh well

Emmy can get fucked then this question just comes from Helena no Amy great work you're listening Helena asked the question what is the common name of the plant commander so that's like the you know the Latin or science name

what's the common name just got to come with a plant name what are you laughing at there is it the phrase science name just fair enough if that was the case All right. So while they're writing their answers, here's some more information about yod dropping.

Jessica writes, I had to submit this question after a second discussion in the Dugan podcast universe regarding the pronunciation of the word June. Other examples of yod dropping include debut, being pronounced debut in an Australian accent. Oh. So the answers are, so the answers. And here's question two. What is a common name of the plant commander? Here are options. Dreary mother.

Coconut tree. Pans, usy, Daisy, panicking rose or bastard toad flax. Stop. All right, Rachel. Should you go first this time? Can I get the first three again?

Because I remember the first three thinking that one of these are good. Dreary mother. coconut tree pansousy I think Drury Mother is a beautiful I'd love to read that book

So I'm gonna I'll go with Drury Mother I think it's a lovely one Look then Taral What do you think Honestly they all sound Ridiculous

I do get that's the premise of the game I mean One of them was Daisy Yeah Back home, that's pretty common, but is that pretty ridiculous here? Maybe. Well, can you remind me of them again? The third one, I'm not quite understanding what you're saying, I don't think.

Well, I don't know if I am either. It's written pans dash usy. Pansousy. Pansy? Like a pansy and a pussy? Yeah, I guess like a pussy patsy. Pansousy. Nice.

That's it. Like I learned the term Bedussi recently. Did we know what that is? No. Booty dick and pussy. Oh. And use it in a sentence?

This bus smells like bodossi. In brackets, negative. Oh, I don't know then. Coconut Tree, Drury, Mother, Pansorsi, Daisy, Panicking Rose, Bastard Toad Flax. I mean, it's obviously not that one, but it really did make me laugh. I'll go for the one, God Almighty, I can't remember already.

Panicking Rose? Yeah, I love that one. All right, Kwame, what do you think? I generally did think it was bastard toad flax. Do you think? I think so. Yep, locked in. Yeah, locked in.

I'll be so annoyed now. He's the right. The answers, coconut tree, that was Kwamey. Because I thought, like, in my head, yeah,

so like a commander and in my head went, like, like, going commando, and I thought, like, what has its, like,

balls out? And it's like a... Coconut tree. Yes. And that's, that was my journey. That's a fantastic journey. And you respect my process.

That's a great journey. I'm so glad you took us on it. That's fantastic. I love the journey was so fun and the destination was coconut tree. Daisy, that was the wacky work of tile. Yeah, that was rubbish, isn't it? Oh, it's good. I was trying to trick you.

I liked it a lot. Oh, thanks. Pan Zussi, that was Emmy, one of the question writers. Oh, dreary, wait, and that got nothing at all, like, is that because Ami's not here? Is it because you don't like Emmy? Have you made a decision about Amy?

You're not. I think you burned Emmy quite publicly. I did, yeah. I did, and I felt instant regret about that. Thank you so much, Amy, feel listening. But I'll be interesting to see how you react to this one. Drury Mother, that was written by Helena. Wow.

Okay. Tile went for panicking Rose. That was Rachel. Yeah, I can't believe I got one for that. Because I wrote Rose and then I went, sorry, I panicked. And you've helped me out there because you've changed it to panicking Rose.

Yeah, probably. Sorry, I don't know whether I should have revealed all of that. No, no, I think. Well, I mean, can I show, I'll show the audience what our chat is like so far. It's just a So she sent you a selfie and you interpreted that as panicking roast That's her

But it's pretty brutal because Rachel and Tal both gave common flower names And I punched one of them up Yeah, yeah, no, anyway, that has been noted And I'll be a formal inquiry. Have I said all of them yet? I know that I have. I think it's only the correct one left,

which Kwame got bastard toad flax. Wow. Well done. So in that round, the house gets a point with thanks to Helena. Rachel gets a point with thanks to the house. And Kwame gets a point thanks to his own superior intellect. All right, here is question number three. This comes from Ben Jones from Gloucestershire.

Is that near here? Ish. Well, Ben, are you in? It's not that, no. In defence of Ben. That's really cool of you, tell us. A voice for the voiceless of Gloucestershire, that's me. Ben's question is, in the 1800s, Green Lane in Cheltenham, town, was renamed as what, and still is to this day.

So there was a little lane called Green Lane, and in the 1800s, for some reason, the Chultham Town Lane was changed for a new name. What's its new name? Now, when you're doing something and I also want to do something, did anyone remind me what I said? Everyone, but Tail got a point there, not to, sorry about that, tail to put it like that. So mean.

And also, did everyone notice, when I won the point, and the last one, my superior intellect was not mentioned. All getting logged. Well, I thought it was, I mean, it was. implied you got two points you know i thought the points would be their own reward there but after two rounds the scores are rachel in the house on one point a piece but out in front equal on two points of pete's it's uh tallen quami you i've noticed that only if i look at you will you applaud if not you think he won't even notice

for question number three in the 1800s, Green Lane in Choltenham Town was renamed as what? Here are options. Red Lane. Wow. Kidnappers Lane. Railroad Toot Avenue. Rainbow Road. Oh, like on Mario.

Bordy Brook Close. Or Sharon Avenue. Spelt that way Sharon Avenue Alright Tal, what do you think? Is it possible to get subtitles? You're over your present. I think

I think it's real cool of you to wait this long to ask you. You've not understood a single word. We're all just here doing our best, don't we? No wonder, that's why they don't clap on myself. Look at it. Oh, okay. Oh, I think he wants us to do something here. We've got like a splinter group.

I'll try to enunciate a little better. That's so funny. I thought I had like quite, uh, normally. You don't have to do this. You are allowed to sound how you sound that is fine. You're, what a doctor. Not just medical, but also confidence.

Here are your options. Red Lane. Yeah, got that one. Kidnappers Lane. Yeah, got that one. Railroad Toot Avenue. Okay. Rainbow Road.

Guammy's very helpful for his head in front of your head. Bordy Brook Close. or Charan Avenue. That's still the one I'm having trouble with, though. I'll be honest. It's spelled S-H-A-R-R-Tri-A-A-N. That is mine. Sharan.

Okay, that's probably not that was. I, look, I don't want to get in the head of whoever wrote it, but I feel like that maybe is sort of meant to be phonetic. how maybe an Aussie Osbourne type might Yeah, I was going to say, is it Sharon? Oh, Sharon! Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. Did she write it? Imagine the impact that joke could have heard. Yeah. I'm going to go for the Toot one. Toot one? Yeah. All right.

Toot's locked in. Toot for tail. What do you think? Quarmy? I mean, it wasn't even your turn, but no, it was, actually. Oh, man. I've been really rough on you tonight. Thanks so much for jumping in right on time.

Kwame, what do you reckon? I think this is all misdirection, and Sharan Avenue is correct. Oh. So much so you're going to lock it in? Yeah. All right, locked in. That leaves Rachel.

What are you thinking? I'm confident. I'm going to say kidnapping lane. Ooh, love it. I think something happened. I think there was a kidnap. Yeah. And I think they renamed it that.

He's such a spooky choice by the councillor. Big fan of hearing the process. Thank you so much. All right, here's the right. The answers. Red Lane, that was Kwame. Can we hear the process? I just thought 1800s, maybe something gory happened

and they changed it from Green Lane to Red Lane. I like it. Rainbow Road, probably a little less gory. That was Rachel. I fought Red Lane, and then I thought, let's go one, let's go six more six more colors, rainbow. I mean, the road outside

of this venue is very much a rainbow road too. Yes, it is. You're right, yeah, that's like judging how people drive down it or like Oh yeah, I just So we've got some bangham drivers, a splatter in your own. Bordy Brook clothes, that was Tail. Can you

give? I don't know, I don't know, Like, it's hard to know, because, I mean, they're your people, but they're sort of my people as well. So I don't know. Can you, when I say one of them as written one, can you, do your mind just like giving them a little love? And I, and now they're like, no. So I don't know, is this podcast sisters of this show, or is this Birmingham people?

Better both. Okay. Railroad Toot Avenue Taule for that I've gone back to Tile That was Ben Okay the house I'm afraid Sharon Avenue

I'm so sorry that was me I'm sorry that was me I'm glad I explained it in a third What they might have been trying to do If I was going to have a guess And that means Rachel is correct it is Kidnappers line. Wow.

Thank God for that person who got kidnapped all them years ago. Can you imagine being a homeowner on that road and it gets from the end? We're going to change the kidnapping lane and just all of your money just dissipate it. That's horrendous. Did you see that?

There was a whole article in the news a few years ago because there was a road called Butthole Road and these people bought the house knowing that and then complain that people kept taking selfies outside their house. You bought a house on Botts. whole road. Question four comes from Connor Tyrell from Dublin in Ireland.

Is that near him? All right. And Conn's question is, according to historian Richard M. Dawson, how does a Korean folktale explain the cause of the common cold? So there's a Korean folk tale, apparently. How does it explain the common cold? That's what you're going to come up with. And while you're writing your answers, he's a little more info about Kidnappers Lane.

According to Ben, the origin of the name Kidnappers Lane in Cheltenham is unknown. There you go. No, he says there's no definitive explanation, according to local historians, while various conjectures have been made, including connections to goat keeping, which are kid goats. You are, well, no, I think it's them, you're sleeping. for short periods, yes. We don't have audience mics tonight, so this is going to sound insane.

Matt, are you okay? But none of these are as substantiated. The name is quite old, predating the Sherdington Road, which was built through it in 1822. So there you go. Ben, thank you so much. That Sherdington Road fact, really, that got the crowd excited. And this crowd isn't easily excited. While you're still writing your answers,

let's go for a quick break. All right, we're back. Here is question four. I said quick break. I was so excited to get into the wine. Here is question number four. According to his story in Richard M. Dawson, how does a Korean folk tale explain the cause of the common cold?

Option one. Little birds shoot up your nose and tickle every impure thought in your head, making you sneeze. It's option one, option two. Your body releases the pressure of a busy mind by giving you a cold, which is in fact leaking brain fluid from your nose. Too many colds can make a person stupid. That's option two, option three. The unsettled ghost of a widow.

enters your head and weeps its tears out your nose. So, there is a tree that starts to wilt and lose its leaves. It rests and then the blossom starts a bloom. It's recovered. Option five, a magical black bear visits you in your sleep, stuffing your nose and sinuses with good luck and good tidings.

That sounds like her you answer, right? Well, finally, a ghost who has two penises. It goes to us two penises, ejaculates, into people's nostrils, causing them to be blocked up, then runny. What if your nose is already full of ejaculate? I think that's when it becomes a flu, you know? Oh, okay.

Kwame, we're back to you. I think these are all fantastic. What are you thinking? I think the right answer is the black magical bear. The magical black bear. Okay. Locked in for Kwamey. What do you think, Rachel?

I think the first ghost one, which I think was second answer. First, oh, yeah, the unsettled ghost of a widow. Yes, that one, yeah, yeah. Love that. I was going to say that one, but I think we should keep it. it's by AC and I should pick a different one. You can definitely go, like, it is often a strategy for people to pick the one that thinks right, but you can.

But it is entirely up to you. Interesting. Okay. I will go for that one too, then the widow. Was it a widow? Something. Yeah. Ghost of a widow.

Yeah. It's your head and weeps its tears out your nose. All right. Locked in. Here's the right. The answers. Two little birds shoot up your nose and tickle every impure thought in your head making you sneeze. That was tall.

I love that one. Wow, doesn't that feel a lot nicer? Your body releasing the pressure of a busy mind, which gives you a cold and your brain leaks out your nose. That was Connor, the question writer. Yeah, feel free not to, if you don't want to. There is a tree. This one feels like a poem. I love it so much.

So I'm going to read it in full. There is a tree that starts to wilt and lose its leaves. It rests. And then the blossom starts to bloom. It's recovered. That was Rachel. Wow. When you read that out for the first time, I heard someone over there go,

whoa. What? That was beautiful. Thank you. That's sweet. All right. Now, Kwame went for the magical black bear. I'm afraid that was the house.

Aw. Sadness. Now, you feel bad for Kwame? I understand that. But Rachel and Tal both picked Kwame's answer. The unsettled ghost of a widow. Again, poetry. Beautiful stuff.

So the jizzle of the nose is the real one. Speaking of poetry. A ghost with two penises, ejaculates into people's nostrils, is correct. To be honest, like, there's not a lot of info on it online, and I was nervous that it was false. That's why I put in the Richard M. Dawson thing. He's a real historian who published a book in the 80s that had a chapter on this. So he believed it to be true, but he's dead now. so he obviously can't be here to back it up but he could be here to give us a cold who knows

who knows I'm gonna I'm so sorry that you three are going to be writing your next dance when I get to fully tell them the story but I'll I'll forward on to you later here is the penultimate question this comes from Katie May from Burton on Trent you're in tonight Katie now Katie's question is What was a headline on the BBC news website on the 18th of August 2025? So you've just got to come up with a news headline. Maybe something a little fun, little wacky. That is recent, isn't it?

So what year was that, sorry? 2025. Twenty-five. While you're writing your answers, let me tell the audience more about Korean colds. This is from Richard M. Dawson's book, Folktales told around the world. long, long ago, there was a king who had a son, and this son had two penises hanging there. So when it came time for him to marry, his father planned to marry him to a girl with two vulvers. But although they searched far and wide, they couldn't find such a girl.

The king's son died without ever getting married, so he became a ghost who wandered around looking for a girl with two vulvers. This ghost searched everywhere and looked very hard, but he just couldn't find one. And so since there was nothing else to do, he began doing it to people's nostrils. From that time on, people began to catch cold. When somebody catches a cold, his nose is stuffed up at first and he can't breathe. And then later, his nose starts to run. That's because when the ghost puts his pink.

penis is up there. The note, as I'm really, this can't have been written by a, like this was written. Does that mean I have to stop talking? Why, was that enthusiast, non-anthusious, non-consent? Okay, I was on it. Do you really want me to stop? No. That was a different person's voice.

You can't overrule someone else's, is retraction of consent. Well, you, I think you got the picture anyway, to be honest. That was basically it. But yeah, it seems to be the only source of this folk tale is this book. So possibly absolute nonsense. I mean, possibly absolutely true. We can't prove it either way.

But there was a Reddit comment from 2011, and I trust that just about as much as the story, which reads, I did a report on this while taking language courses back in 1998. None of the teachers had ever heard of it. When I went to Korea for two years, a couple of years after, no one I asked had ever heard of it either. But they're just people in Korea.

What would they know? Do you know every one of your country's folk? You wouldn't. You're up to the brim in folktales here. I have a suspicion that this Richard guy juiced in his girlfriend's notice. No, babe, it's culture. Exactly.

Like, it's a bit racist of you to have a problem with that because of my Korean heritage. That's what I think happens. Oh my God, the answers are in. I'm so excited. Is everyone else excited? The speed at which you begin and end your excitement and so efficient.

Whoop. hectic, but really efficient. Probably as efficient as a man with two. All right. Is that more efficient? I don't know. All right. Here is question number five.

What was headline on the BBC News website the 18th of August 2025? Uptake of the new vaccine for the common cold remains low. It's a double jab, I'm pretty sure. Pandemonium. This is a different one. Pandemonium. Berlin Zoo welcomes twin pandas amid horse meat scandal. Option three.

Pug wins Richard Madelay look-a-luck-a-lott contest. Option four. Who's Richard Madelay? Maidly. Maudly. He, how do I begin to describe it? He's just like a daytime, he's, do you know, yeah, he's like a real life, Alan Park.

Oh my God. Oh, that's good, yeah. Aha, I get it. I think I might be a little bit of one too. Option four, the old grey mare is what she used to be. horse carcass miraculously returns to life at glue factory. That's option four. Option five,

town clown bruised and brown after showdown with rampaging hound. Or finally, woman in duddler finds a plate of fish and chips on her floor or on her door for 30 days in a row. Woman in dudler finds a plate. Why are you saying it with a donkey? How should I be saying? Woman in Dudley. Dudley.

Woman in Dudley finds a plate of fish and chips on her door for 30 days in a row. Okay, there are your options. Rachel, it's your go now. So you've got the vaccine for the coming cold. The pandas at the Berlin Zoo. Pug Richard Madelea look-like contests. Old Grey Mayor returns to life at the good. Factory, a clown gets done by a hound, or a doodle-A woman has fish and chips on her door.

I'm going to go pug, Richard Mayley Pug. Yeah. And also, do you mind? What's the, the horse comes alive after what? Sorry. I didn't quite start out. The old grey mare is what you used to be. Horse carcass miraculously returns to life at glue factory.

Wow. Is this you finding out how glue's made? No, how's it made? With dead horse. You are? Are you serious? Yeah. Not all of it.

Did everyone... Pete, I've loved it. The second time, did you know that? Yeah. Who didn't know that? You, yeah. Oh, well, I've learned something to go. The next question about Santa's going to kill her.

What? Sorry. Some of your brain leaked at your nose. Was washed out by all the chairs. I didn't hear that. It doesn't matter. All right. So Rachel's gone for the pug.

What do you think, Tell? I so badly want the pug one to be true. But my issue with that one is I can't imagine how a pug could look like Richard Maudley because he's got quite a long face. Right. Richard Whiteley, and we could talk. But Richard Madley, I can't see that being true. So I'm going to go for, I'm not trying to cheat.

Was it you? So it's a local person who wrote it. So I think it's going to be the fish and chip door one. All right. Locked in. That leaves you, do you calm me? What do you think? I also do you think it's the fish and chip on the doorstep one.

Two fish and chips. I know you shouldn't get in the wave of laughs that are happening after you said something at a comedy show but I have no idea we don't either at that I'll just let them enjoy it you actually mispronounce fish and chips that's what it was oh is it?

No just I'm just like because I did a show here ethically here about eight years ago, something like that and I said debut

and the audience as one hissed themselves laughing oh that's sweet which is why I picked that first question the yod dropping one because that is what I do apparently I didn't know there was a scientific term for it but it's a

I am a little scarred by it but also it's a very fond memory. All right, so the answer are locked in. Here's the road. Uptake of the new vaccine for the common cold. That was by Dr. Kwamey. Pandemonium. Berlin Zoo welcomes twin panors.

You won't believe this. I only just got the pandemonium pun. I just picked it up. My talents are wasted. The old grey mare, what she used to be, the glue factor on, that was the house, apologies. Imagine if it was Rachel and it was all of it.

I don't know, I just flowed out of me. The town clown, bruised and brown, that was also the house. Now, Tal and Kwamey both went for the woman in Dudlai. That was Rachel. Thank you. Thank you. Rachel also got the correct answer.

So all three points go to Rachel. Oh, wow. That is so good. The real article is Pug wins Richard Madela. Madelae? Yeah, Maudly. Maudly lookalike contests. Do you have a picture of it?

Yeah, I saw it on, thank God for short for media. I saw it on Reels this week. Oh, my God. So maybe that was a bit of, but I didn't want to give it away. I'm going to be the one brave enough to say it. It doesn't look that much like Richard made, is it? I'm going to read the article out to the audience when you're writing your final question. We always finish with a plot synopsis.

So this would be your longest stance, like a paragraph long or whatever. Comes from Matthew Whittingham from Grafton in New South Wales. And the question is, what is the plot synopsis to the movie, the 5,000 fingers of Dr. T? The 5,000 fingers of Dr. T. And while you're writing your answers, here's that article about Richard Madelais. I go, I double bluffed myself back to where I was.

Maidly. Maudly. Maudly. Yeah. Right now I'm glad there's no audience, Mike. So this is according to the question writer Katie, thinking it might be better for a UK show as not sure how famous Richard

Madeley is overseas. I don't know if I've helped prove that tonight. He's basically a real-life Alan Partridge, but not as funny, and he once accidentally shoplifted. For the BBC, Angela Ferguson writes, a pug named Larry has been crowned the winner of a Richard,

Maudly look-alike contest. Hundreds of people keen to see who most resembled the Good Morning Britain and former This Morning and Granada presenter went to the competition in Alexandria Park in Stockport, Greater Manchester on Sunday. Larry, complete with a grey wig, shirt and a pink bow tie, scooped the prize ahead of 13 other contestants. His owner, Molly from Edgeley, Ed, Ed Galilee, who came dressed as Madelie's wadley's, wife and fellow TV presenter Judy Finnegan, said she thought the pug looked exactly like the star. Molly said, when we found out about this competition, we thought,

shall we dress Larry up as Richard Madele? And please, can I be Judy then? This is a bit odd, but I'm guessing that's her talking to her husband. Please, may I? We put this suit on, and then, then we put a bow tie on and we put his wig on. Like, she's taken us through the process. And he basically looked exactly like Richard Madeley.

Handprinted, this bit is, I don't understand why this is included, but handprinted posters for the competition had appeared across Stockport earlier in the month, but then disappeared ahead of the contest, according to Nikki Owen, who owns a coffee kiosk in the park. That's all they referenced that. Like, there's some conspiracy where people didn't want this advertise. I mean, if I'm pointing fingers, it's probably at the guy who looks like a pug.

Contestants were each given 10 seconds to impress the crowd. It's not a lot of time. With what they had to do was a MADley move. But it doesn't explain what the dog did for that. Shoplifted, probably. And then, yeah, this is apparently a big competition. Maidley from Essex co-presented ITVs this morning

alongside his wife Judy before the couple went on to host Richard and Judy from 2001-2009. He's now a presenter on our TV's breakfast program, Good Morning Britain. Of the shoplifting, I found an article in the Daily Mail written by Ayat Yassin Kasab, who writes, in 1994, the presenter was arrested for allegedly failing to pay for items, that's shoplifting, including champagne on two occasions at a Tesco supermarket in Walkton, greater Manchester. He always denied any wrongdoing and cited a lapse of memory.

And a jury found him not guilty. Speaking about the incident last year, Richard said, thank God Twitter wasn't around then. But the whole thing was self-evidently bollocks. That my not paying was an oversight? Obviously.

It was leaked by someone at Tesco. At the time, though, I thought, well, of course it's going to be okay because otherwise the world's gone mad. That is very partridgey. So, yeah, he sounds insane. But he's a big star here. Well, he's had a big career on mainstream TV.

Do you know what he accidentally stole? Sorry, he might have already said that. Champagne. How did he accidentally steal that? Oh, it was a lapse of concentration. I think he, like, and it was, he, I think he was maybe using, you know, he was, he put all his groceries on the conveyor belt at the supermarket and didn't put his, he kept his Yeah, shame he didn't do that with his broccoli.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, I know that, game, Richard. Yeah. Does anybody ever click one cross on, on the till? But then you, you have two in the bag. Yeah. Yeah, you can do it with anything where the weight is variable. So mystery Lego mini figures as well.

Oh, my. They're expensive as well. I know. But where are you going to get them? Surely just the Lego shop. It's Tesco. Oh, I see what you're saying. You can get them right.

Yeah. What, they do them loose in there? What do you put them in as like potatoes or whatever? That's the trick. No, no, no. You can scan one through and then put two in because it does the, weight but some are bigger than others because it's a mystery. Oh.

Oh my God. You could sell them on as well. You could make a business. Do you know, I really, naively, when I was about 18, wanted to make a money-saving blog about shoplifting. And then I realised that I would get in trouble. Because I've got loads. Anyway.

Now, something I probably should have told you already, this round's worth triple points. Oh, man, I'd have known that, yeah. So, yeah, it really is still anyone's game. The score's going in, it's very close anyway. Tails on two, Kwame in the house on four, but out in front of five points, it's Rachel. It's not that close, then it's... I don't know what's happened, thank you. All right, so here is the final question.

What is the synopsis to the fifth? film, The 5,000 Fingers of Dr. T. Here are options. A future in medicine seemed impossible for Bradford-born Centipede Terrence. Until his science teacher turned adoptive mother, taught him to push through society's boundaries and become the A&E doctor he knew he could be. Featuring Golden Globe winner Whoopie Goldberg. And soundtracked by Lynn Manuel Miranda, this unlikely favorite at the Venice Film Festival

will have you laughing, crying, and determined to fulfill your potential, regardless of limb difference. Option one. Option two. What would you do with 5,000 fingers? Well, Dr. T saves the world with them, but also his own love life.

In this debut... In this debut film, expect knuckle-dusting action, wrist-wrangling drama, and fingers in every place you can imagine. Hey, but don't expect toes, because there are none. Option three, in this musical written by Dr. Seuss, a boy named Bart is forced to take piano lessons from the authoritarian Dr. Turwillick. Oh, Toilica. Never seen that written down. During a lesson, Bart dozes off and dreams that Tollica is a dictator who is imprisoned non-piano playing musicians and has built a piano so large that it requires 500 boys to play it. Can Bart escape the Tollica Institute, save his mother and destroy the mega piano?

I should. I probably consider it. None of you've been on before, so I should warn you that the movies are often bad and bad shit crazy. So you can't rule on me, you can't be like, that sounds ridiculous. Maybe that's exactly, hmm, hey, hmm. All right, second last option, Mario Testoni is the greatest and most successful heart surgeon in all of Rome. But at the expense of his family, when he forgets to pick up his daughter, Aria's favorite dessert for a fifth birthday, his wife, kicks him out. To win them back, he plans to make the world's biggest tiramisu with 600 eggs,

250 cups of coffee and 5,000 lady fingers. He quickly becomes a media sensation, but Dr. T is going to learn that there's more than one way to mend a heart. Oh my God. Wow, they really brought that home. The people who made that real movie. Well, finally, a concert pianist whose talents earned them the nickname 1,000 fingers, Dr. T was unrivaled in his field, until the tragic day he lost four fingers from each hand in a sushi-making accident. Everyone assumed his career was over, but by playing the piano the same way, an elderly person types on a keyboard using one finger on each hand,

he became even greater than he was before, earning the name 5,000 fingers. fingers. They're your options. Tau, what are you thinking? So the first one, we've got the centipede. Second one, we've got a guy saving the world with his fingers, but there's no toes involved. Next one, we've got the musical by Dr. Seuss with the mega piano. Then we've got Mario Tastoni, greatest and most successful heart surgeon in all of Rome, but there's more than one way to mend a heart. well finally the guy who lost fingers but ended up becoming even better playing one note at a time. I can't believe one of these is real. Um, I mean, I'm going to go with the tiramisu one.

Okay, you're all looking at me like I'm insane. What's it going to be the centipy? Yeah, the centipede with each answer seemed a little more realistic. It seemed as that's not. I know, I know. I'm not going to be swayed by you, bastards. I'm going to go in. I'm going for Tiramisu. All right. Tyrmoo is locked in. Quarme, what do you think? I also, I generally always also thought the tiramisu,

and I'm glad you've taken the heat off, suggesting that's a nice surprise. I'm also locking in titwack. Wow. I'm going to be brave and stick with tiramisu. Two tiramisus. Fantastic. And that leaves Rachel. What are you thinking?

Which one was the Mario Tastoni? That's Tyromisu. Oh no. Tiramisu, that's the one. Oh, no, I thought that one as well. But then that means that that would do nothing to the scores. So let me pick another one. Rachel.

Actually, but then that would mean I don't. Hey. I think I'm going to. I'd have to go for the tiramisu one. Because that's okay. Definitely. She's being coached. Yeah.

That was really good. Whoever did that, I honestly, I'm not smart enough to follow that myself. There is a scenario, Rachel, if the house wrote that one, then the house would get all of the points. Oh, yeah. Go for something else. So I'm just saying it's up to you. That may or may not be the case. Oh, but it could be a risk.

because that might not pay off. Well, I wrote down... Do you know what? I wrote notes throughout this. I forgot I did that. Oh, fantastic. I wrote the first one. Musical was the house.

Tiramisu was the house. So I don't know why I said Timuamisu. It's my answer. What was... Do you know what? You've got the guy lost fingers. You've got the Dr. Seuss musical. You've got the Centipede.

You've got the one with definitely no toes involved. I'm going to go with Dr. Zeus, actually. But then that'd be mad because surely it's, I don't know of it. But there was one, there was a term that I thought about the old lady, the old people typing that thought maybe that's not that won't be on a synopsis. I'm going

Dr. Zeus. Dr. Seuss, all right. Locked in. Can I say before you give the answers now that we're locked in, so I'm not trying to influence anything, I think there should be some honourable points for the centre people one, just because it was just because that person might be losing and it was really

well written. What do you think? Well, T'all, I won't say, I won't reveal at this point who wrote that one, but how many points do you think they should get? Seven. Yeah, someone agreed with me, one person. I mean, I'll put it to the audience. Do you think Tal should get, I mean, um... Whoever wrote it. How many pity points should Tal get for that?

Two. All right. Well, whoever wrote that gets two points. Here's who wrote the answers. The centipede one was TAL. Thank you. Fant. It was really good.

Thank you. But you were like animated. I could picture that for sure. Yeah. The soundtrack would be amazing. You can't take credit for getting someone talented to make the soundtrack. And then the soundtrack would be amazing. Yeah.

So did you even consider who soundtracked your film when you wrote the soundtracked your film when you wrote the synopsis. Did you even think about it? No, I did not. No. I tried to get Lin-Manuel Miranda, but he was busy. I've got this bat shit on the project.

The one with Dr. Tee, who lost his fingers in a sushi-making accident, that was Kwamey. Oh, well done. Thank you. The one where the doctor uses his fingers to save the world with them, but don't expect toes. That was Rachel.

Thank you Now that means one of you is correct Talent crime went for Mario Testoni Rachel went for Dr. Seuss The Mario Testoni one was written by Matthew Okay the house meaning Rachel is correct

Thank you Yeah it sounds insane And I only picked it up reading it out then Like if Simpsons fans might have recognised Bart being the main character and his namesis was to Willica, which is Sancho Bob's surname. So is that, I guess they were referencing an obscure Dr. Seuss musical? Or I've just absolutely believed this nonsense from Matthew. No, I'd know, I checked Rotten Tomatoes.

It's actually, before I give the final scores, it's, the critics like it. 83% approval rating on Rotten Tomatoes. and a review by Rachel Wagner reads, it's fun, it's creative, and it's bonkers. But it did not do well. It was a bomb, I think. All right. Here are the final scores.

Equal third on four points apiece. Half of one of the points were pity, but, you know, we don't have to talk about that. Both are four points. Big round of applause for Kwame and tell. In second place on six points, and if Rachel didn't change her decision at the last second, would have been the winner, was the house.

Oh, wow. Meaning the winner with eight points, just scream at home with six points on the final two rounds. It's Rachel. Oh, thank you very much. What, just stand up. So people usually stand up. Well, absolutely.

The people usually stand up. Yeah, yeah. Never before, but that was fantastic. I loved it. I'm going to start encouraging that for sure. Before we go, where can people find you? Both of the people in the room who are locals can see you perform around here a bunch. But people listening at home, where can they follow you on Instagram or wherever?

What's the best place? That's a good question. Someone else got, I need to check out what my handles are. My Instagram handle is Kwamey, K-W-A-M-E-D-Y. That's good. That is good. That felt sincere. Thanks, Reggie.

I think it's been Quarmadi. You win one game show and suddenly. Standing up, you're shitting on Kwame. Who are you, Rachel? Where do you, Rachel? I'm at Rachel the Ginge on Instagram. And I'm ginger for those listening. And also, I think that's the same on TikTok,

but I don't really use that. But I was being sincere, I think that's brilliant. Your Quamadee. I really think it's good. It's a really great, it just rolls off the tongue. Anyway. Tell, can people still see your BBC live from the UK set? I'll be honest, I haven't seen it.

Okay. So I don't know. Probably. I player. Have a look. I'm at Tal, T-A-L-D-A-V-I-E-S on Instagram and TAL-U-D-A-V-D-A-V-T-T-T-T-T-T-O-D-T-T-O-E-S-E-T-T-E-S-E-E-N-E-N-E-N-E-N-E-N-E-N-E-N-E-N-E-N-E-W-E-E-N-E-W-E-E-W-E-E-E-W-E-E-E-W-E. If you know the tune, feel free to sing along. Welcome the guests. Thanks so much.

This isn't the show. Yeah, don't worry. This isn't the show. I know everyone's going. This can't be the show, and you're right. This was really just the entrance to the stage. None of this is included in the ticket price. Everything so far has been free.

Is someone going to be sitting there? Oh, God. That's not a good sign. All right. Hey, so. Dan, are we recording already, I'm assuming. Dan, are you there? You got his thumb dot.

Oh, you got his thumbs up? You don't want anyone to recognise your voice. Okay. We're off to a rip and start here. Well, the music... Oh, yeah, do you want to sing that again? That was sick, actually. I think so.

And then that'll be the start of the show, and then I'll introduce the guests properly and everything. I'm so sorry. This is the first time I met them all, and they're really getting. in a full sort of professional

experience here. All right, so dun da da da da da da

da da da uh uh chlamy while I'm just bringing the uh

your great answers into my list here can you tell me the last time you left a medical instrument inside a body

uh yes yes someone is oh hey Good to see you again as well. Thank you. I'm glad we're over that.

Fortunately, I've not had, I've not had to, I've not done that, which is good. That's great news. Not in the workplace, anyway. No, no, no, no. It's private life it is own. Good to see you again as well, Tau. Thank you. And how do you know?

Because it could still be trapped in someone. Yesterday I saw someone had three pieces of glass up their ass. Not personally. It was online. You've seen more action at that. Where do you work? Very satisfying sentence, too. I don't think doctors are leaving glass in anyone.

I think that's a misdemeanor of the patient. Yeah, actually, I got that completely wrong. It was someone jumped on a glass. So it wasn't a doctor at all, but a doctor got it out for them. Jump on it and there you go. That's what you're doing. Oh, okay. God bless the NHS.

That is so funny. Someone's bored of this podcast. And they've put on another podcast. I can't help it. There is this person here, I think. Oh. No, no, I'm sorry. You've got the best laugh of the night so far.

What are you listening to? Okay. That was fantastic. All right. Oh, the answer's interesting. Hey, can I, can I, can I, normally what I would do at a live show and at home, I'd get one of you to be my sidekick, but I felt weird meeting you and making you sort of work for the night. So, so I'm just going to get you to fill a little bit while I do this, you know, 30 seconds of admin. Jay, would you have any medical stories you could tell?

You know, they don't break any, any sort of oaths or anything. or have you ever had to take glass out of someone's ass? Do be fair, a question I always get asked at parties as well as the weirdest thing you ever had to pull out of a patient's bum and unfortunately the answer is always the same, my own finger. Which kills every conversation because no one is ready, that's the truth.

You're like on this one actually. Yeah, I'm right. That's so funny. I mean, what's the weirdest thing the doctor's ever taken out of our bonds? We could join him with this. Well, have you got one? I haven't. No, I don't think I, um...

Oh, okay. Yeah, I... Did you tell you. I remember fruit flakes. Oh, my God. I used to get them in school lunches. So I shoved a regular fruit flake up my nose, had to go to A&E to have that removed.

And then, and I personally think this is very, you know, I was experiencing, I was trying to experiment with. with science. I shoved a yoghurt flavored fruit flake up there about a year after. And I just think it's quite nice. I didn't learn. But I thought, well, let's see how, let's see the difference between each of them. And both of them, A and E, was the result. Yeah. I just thought the yogurt one would be sort of lubricated enough that you could grow it up. Yes, I know. I didn't go. No, yeah, didn't know. I've thought of another embarrassing one, but I'm a bit worried about it. Do you want me to be embarrassing first? Yeah, you go, you go for it.

Right. Right. I consulted a doctor who shall remain anonymous about 10 minutes ago about this. There's no need to guess who it was. And I didn't like the answer I got, so I'm going to put it to a public vote instead. Do you reckon if you ignore cystitis, it will just go away? No.

Oh. You were right. I think it's time for a consultation now. You can just meet you. Right, over to you, H. The answers are in for question too, I'm afraid. I'm afraid. Sorry about that.

He said, yeah. Now we can go back to Tar. What else have you had lost up? Oh no. So any other, what are any other medical advice you need to solve today? Probably. Yeah, do you have to. You always seem to say there's something, yeah.

I've got bad indigestion at the moment. I'm concerned I'm allergic to eggs. However, I consume a lot of them. So I'll think, what's the way to tell if I'm... Can I just... She burst in today saying two things. One, I have no phone battery. I didn't know, I needed it.

Go on. And two, I've just wolfed down an egg mayo sandwich. So at what point did you start to worry? the eggs. I'm not sort of indigestion. I get quite a bit of integer.

Do you get a bit of indigestion? Yes. Put your hands up if you get a bit of indigestion. Yeah. And just for context right now,

a lot of people got that. Few of you haven't. What's your secret? What the hell? That is amazing. Yeah. I've kind of finished my suggestion content here.

You know what's really? Well, that timed out very nice. Oh, brilliant. Because the answer are in for question number three. I thought it was fantastic. I could have listened at for, you know, for hours. Thank you.

I'll be starting a new podcast about it, actually. What would you call it? An Insuggestion pod. What would you call it? Yeah, maybe I'd call it blubber. Oh. And we'll be recording. Gut feeling.

Brilliant. That is good. Yeah. Yeah. Gut feeling will be recording live here. And you can be a guest, Matt. Oh, fantastic. You could get a sponsorship deal with like Rennies.

or something. That would be a dream. Honestly, I'd love to be endorsed by them. But you'd have to then keep eating eggs for the pod. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You'd be killing yourself for art. It'll be, it'll be beautiful. What a great ad for Rennies, though.

You'd be eating an egg, eating a Rennies. Hang on, I'll feel great. Exactly. Tipping them in like Toasty soldiers. Yeah. All right, the answers. Yeah. Is it?

Is it... I'm just waiting for whatever abuse I'm going to get that. I just want to say, are we all right? Are we okay? I'm giving him the wait to your friends, leave, your mom would do when you're showing off. I've seen towns try to start on people before. So it could be legitimate...

In Amsterdam, I think, yes. In Amsterdam, yes. Not really, I don't think he'd have thrown a punch. He was taking the people. Yeah. While you're still writing your questions, let's go... Sorry, that's not what you're doing. What would you do with 5,000 fingers?

Well, Dr. T saves the world with them. Any other answer would feel pretty selfish now, wouldn't it? But also, I'm like, if no one responds to this, this would be added out nicely. But now, that will sound insane. I'll start from the top.

Bam, bum, bum, da-na-na-na-da-na-na-na. We crushed it. I just want to join here. I don't know.