Who Knew It with Matt Stewart - 176 - Ben Russell, Kirsty Webeck and Sweeney Preston

Episode Date: January 26, 2026

Who Knew It with Matt Stewart is a comedy game show podcast hosted by Australian comedian Matt Stewart. Episode 176 features Ben Russell, Kirsty Webeck and Sweeney Preston!Support the show via http://patreon.com/dogoonpod and you can submit questions for the show!Check out Matt's new stand up special: https://youtu.be/ZgukEPerWZc?si=SW8PttGAB-ly_GF8And his last stand up special: https://youtu.be/cWStRpI-BhESee the podcast/Matt live: https://www.mattstewartcomedy.com/Check out Matt's podcast network: https://dogoonpod.com/Theme song by Evan Munro-Smith, Logo by Murray Summerville and edited by Connor Schmidt! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to Who Knew with Matt Stewart, the show where the guest's right, the wrong answers. I'm the titular Matt Stewart. Our first guest has a latest special, everything I need to say about sea creatures on YouTube now. You can watch it right now. Or after this episode, it's Kirstie Webeck. Hello. Hello there. Thanks for having me.

Hey, thanks for being here. My absolute pleasure. Is that true what I said? Yeah. And they just look it up on the words Kirstie Webeck. YouTube, probably. Everything I need to say about sea creatures. It's up there.

It's been up there for a few days. get around it. And our next guest this week is the first time we're on the show, a host of the late-night PowerPoint comedy showcase at Sweeney Preston. Gidey, how we doing? Really good, thank you so much. And is it true, you're doing a show at Adelaide Fringe called Like, I'm a Journalist or something? Oh, I'm a journal.

Well, yeah, you've nailed the name of that. Okay, great. No, it's, I've changed the name of it. It was my show from this year, but I've given it a new name. It's called Australia's Worst Journalist. Oh, okay. And to find out why you'll just have to come along. Oh, what a time.

Tees. I know, isn't it good? Yeah. I know. Planting the seed. Beautiful tease work there. And I'm not the first person to say that. Final guest this week is our resident villain.

And he's also the creator of the debate show Goert. It's Ben Russell. Hi, my name's Ben Russell. Hey, Ben. You touring around this year? I'm not touring per se, but I am doing shows at the Comedy Festival. Sick. In Melbourne.

Yeah. Melbourne International Comedy Festival ever heard of that? I think it does ring a bell, yeah, now that you've said it. Doing that, but I'm just, I'm not getting out on the, I'm not being a road pig at the moment. Yeah. I'm just, I got too much going on. Yeah. Well, thanks for joining us.

All right, so the way the show works is ask a relatively obscure trivia question in our contestants. After I write a convincing fake answer, I then read their answers as well as the real one. I have to guess which one is correct. And our first question comes from Ariane from Ireland. And the question is, what is the meaning of the word? clat fart one word C-L-A-T-F-A-R-T

clat-fart What does that mean It's a beautiful word It's a beautiful word Such a beautiful word And while they're writing their answers I'll explain how the scoring works So you get a point

If your fake answer is guessed by the other contestant Another point if you correctly guess the answer And by the way, I'm also playing as the house And I've put it into my own fake answers For each question with the help of the question writer And we get a point for each one of those that I guess choose. So each of us can go up to three points per round, which seems fair.

But the probability actually favours me, the House. The House always wins off. If you've listened to previous episodes, you'll know that it is not necessarily the case. And I even think out, the guests get triple points in the final round. Anyway, most of our questions come from our great Patreon supporters. If you want to submit a question, sign up on any level via patreon.com slash do go on pod. And that's linked in the show notes. And while I've got you, hey, we're filming the episodes these days.

You can see full episodes on the Do Go On podcast YouTube channel or check out some fun clips if you follow Who Knewit Pod on Instagram, Facebook, etc. All right, the answer to question number one, what is the meaning of the word clat fart? Here are your six options. It's a part of a train found between the flanged wheels and coupling rods. It's option one, option two. A fart done in conjunction with another bodily excretion simultaneously, excretion probably, okay, a collateral fart.

Option three, someone who brags about the amount they're making of a large sum of money before almost immediately losing it. To engage in idle gossip and chatter. The bracket connecting sleepers to rail lines on train tracks. Or when butt cheeks move and make a fart like sound, but you didn't fart and everyone thinks you did. So you either got like fart ones or train ones, I think. Fuck, why is it about clap fart that got people trained?

Trained up. Farting and trains. This is just the best of grade four humor. They go hand in hand. Yeah. They do. What's their fart without a train? Or a train without a fart.

Toot, toot. Sweetie, what do you think? I reckon it's one of the train ones. I liked the first one for its specificity. It's talking about the structure of the mechanics of the train. Okay. The clat fart just feels like something, ah, it feels very specific to me.

Because I've never heard anything like this before. So I reckon it's about engineering, which I don't know anything about. And I'm willing to have my thoughts taken along for the ride on this one. Okay, great. See on for the first option? I think the first option. Part of a train found between the flanged wheels and coupling rods.

But now you've said flanged. I'm thinking of the friend scene where they're worried that there's no phalangee on the plane. Yeah, it lost me on the flange. The flange is a bit crazy, isn't it? But flange is also one of those other things that I'm convinced is real. Flanges is a real? Flange is real? What's a flange?

I don't, nobody knows what flange is. It's like the little bit that comes out. flanges out. That's not a good enough definition as well. They use it in engineering and plumbing. Like there's always flamination. Now I think this is a bit. And the flanges?

No, flanges are true. Like honestly, like in the plumbing world, they always banged on about flangers, don't they? Richies us, messengers. Somebody knows a lot about flanges. Well, flange is also a euphemism for... For what? The vagina.

Oh. Oh. Oh, wow. I didn't know we're going to go there. Am I allowed a follow of question? Grow up, man. Grow up. Viginas exist, okay? I don't believe that.

I've never seen any proof. If seeing is believing, I don't believe it. I would hazard to guess I'm the only one in this room who has. Okay. Are you judging that purely based on all our facial hair? Yeah, just your general vibes. Like, just because none of you. Have ever seen one?

We're the three coolest dudes ever. What are you talking about? Look around, Kirstie. You're surrounded by blokey greatness. Yeah, just because we don't believe in vaginas doesn't mean we're not cool. I know. Look, just in case the listeners aren't aware,

I was obviously joking. Okay. I was obviously joking. I'm sure all of you have seen a picture of a vagina. I have so, yeah. We've all been to that exhibit at Mona in Tasmania. I haven't. I've just drawn them.

I've drawn them. I've drawn them. Yeah. As I imagine them. Yeah. Right. They've come to me in dreams. Have they?

Yeah. Wow. That's the only time they've come. Got it. Got it. That's true. Yeah. Yeah, that is true.

All right. So, sweetie, are you locking in flange? Yeah. Yeah. Kirstie, what do you think? You go flange. You can go one of the couple of fart ones. They're so.

FART ones. There's the bracket and there's the engaging in idle gossip. Brackets exist as well. Yeah. Brackets. Yeah, that's a thing that happens. Nah. That's a slang for a penis.

Give you one up. Grow up, Ben. Is it slang for the butt? Because people talk it like that's an old school thing. I'm going to give him one up the bracket. Really? I think he just made that up. Okay.

How old are you? you. I'm really old. He's an old soul. But I've listened to people older than me. You know what I mean? Say that. Who spoke.

Really? I don't think that that's true. It's something of a, I think it's maybe, it's something that Tony Martin clipped out on an old radio show and played a lot. Right. Give him one up the bracket. Give him one up the bracket. So it is possibly from a long time ago.

Welcome to Sizzletown. Welcome to Sizzletown. I'm going to give you one up the bracket. Isn't that the intro? I have no idea. I mean, at one point in history, that might have been dirty talk. You never know. Yeah.

I'll give you one. I mean, that's how I will. Oh, my God. Moving forward. You know what? What does up the bracket mean? Apparently a punch in the throat. Oh.

Wow. It's a sign. So you could say, I'm going to give you a punch up the bracket, Ben Russell, for example. Wow. Or I'm going to throat you. Mm-hmm. Well, it's nice to have an array of options. That's so funny that I heard that phrase and assumed it was punching someone up up the bum.

Did you think it was punching them up the bum? What? It should be so impressive. Like someone's whining you up at the pub and you're like, I don't know what. I'm going to have one more pint and then I'm going to punch him up the bum. I want to punch him up the bum. You sound like the Simpsons episode set in Australia. Yeah.

Give him one. A little kick up to bum. I've got learning so many new words today All these answers Knowledge is power Yeah, it is I feel very powerful today Yeah

Matt, can you give me The bracket one? Sure, A bracket connecting sleepers To rail lines on train tracks Yeah I'll lock that one in Locked in

A couple of trains so far Ben, Are you gonna go trains? You're gonna go elsewhere? Yeah, I think I'm gonna go trains Just because far it's too obvious No offense, guys Is it because it's

No offense, but you're going to have to do a lot better than that with this guy. The question is... I should have gone for burps. The question is, is it the train itself or is it the train tracks, which the train travels on? That's the two options that we have. We have the connector that does the horizontals with the other, which, you know, the criss with the cross, or we've got the connectee, which connects carriages. Wow.

Well, Ben's got an unfair advantage because... he's clearly an engineer. Yeah. And a poet. So I'm going to do, I'm going to do the flangey. What you're doing right now is you're choosing between Sweeney and I. That's what you're doing.

Yeah. And you've chosen Sweeney. I've chosen Sweeney. I've chosen Sweeney. Woohoo. Okay. I'll remember this. Good.

All right. All Banda's done is going, which color added our shirt do I like more? That's true. Yeah. Actually, like, that would look better on me. I think it would look better. What is that a dark, dark mauve?

Yeah, dark mode. Yeah, I don't have the courage to go green. What is that? It is great. Olive? Pardon, olive? Emerald. I felt disgusting.

It's almost a forest. Also, Swaney and I kind of matching like the, the, what's the word I'm trying to look for? The vibe? Yeah, the vibe in the room. Yeah, yeah. Like the colour scheme is what I was looking for. You know, there's green plants representing Sweeney. And there's wall.

representing me. Yeah, you are a mix between the baffle boards and the ballpaint. Baffle boards, yeah, thanks for. Another word. I mean, I don't know if that's what they. Those baffle boards, not to be confused with clat farts. Yes. The clat farts are keeping this room together at the moment.

If you were to take the clat farts out, the whole room would fall apart. It really would just be walls. Whichever way you slice it, it's something that connects one another. That's what a clat farts going to be. That's really beautiful. That is beautiful. I did also like the chit-chat answer. Yeah.

Let's try. I forgot about the chit-chat answer. If we were to have a second answer, I think that would be my second. You know you can have a second football team. Everyone's got the Bulldogs. Chit-chat is my second answer. Okay. Just for the record.

I like that you've put that on the record. Let's go quickly go around and rank them from one. We go. If we want any chance again through the quiz. Let's go. Let's do it. It's like the election. It's like the election.

It's with the results. preference voting. Yeah, I'm going to, I'll get the Abikas out and we'll figure this out. Can we get a two-party preferred answer? Let's figure this out one. This is who wrote the answers. When buttcheek's move and make a fart like sound, but you didn't fart and everyone thinks you did, that was Ariane, the question writer.

Can I have to try harder, Ariane. Ariane also wrote the one, which I think I'd butcher at the time, where someone who brags about the amount of money they make before immediately losing it. I like that one. You've got one job, Matt. And I'm not good at it. A fart done in conjunction with another bottle of excretion simultaneously, a collateral fart.

That was Sweeney. Come on, Sweeney. If you guys need to know what the word excretion means, just ask me later. No, thanks. Kirstie went for a bracket connecting sleepers to rail lines on train tracks. That was Ben Russell.

Oh, you little stinker. You got me. I know, I like how you were still convincing after Kirstie locked it in, you're still saying it's, well, it's one of these two. Yeah. That's usually my E.M.O. Yeah. Now.

Not to be trusted. You're a sneaky little guy. I'm very villainous, isn't he? I'll probably flip the script and try and help you next. Well, you'd be like. You might have already done so, Ben, because Sweeney and Ben went for the other train run, and that was Kirstie. There you go.

And the real movie here today is me who thinks in a similar way to Ben Rush. There you go. I guess we've both got eggs on our face. You've made each other an egg and you've both put it on each other's faces. I love that. That's quite beautiful. That does mean that Sweeney's second favourite is correct. It is to engage in idle gossip and chatter.

Why did we both go trains? I swear to God that's something that's trained like in that. Yeah. Isn't that weird? Because I thought it was close to what the truth was. Yeah. I think we've opened up a great new betting market here, which is going and betting each way as well as first place.

The clap fart. Yeah, that makes sense as well. My God. Clapfire. Yeah, I think clatter is sort of sounds like an old rattledy train or something. I nearly went for that, the idle chichang. Yeah, right. Yeah, I didn't even listen to it.

Yeah. I didn't even hear it. You're all you heard was train. Go on train. There's two trains. You just go, how am I going to lie about this? That's my main.

That's my main. I was like, there's two trains. I'm going to try and capitalize on that and try. I was too busy figure out how I'm going to lie. Yeah. To what the last suggestion was. Yeah. If I could.

You're in a mental fitty loop. Yeah, I was. Yeah. All right, question two comes from Dylan Old from Myrtleford. The question is which of these are real species of amphibian? So you just got to make up a name. You don't have to describe it or anything. Just a name of an amphibian.

I've written down some examples of amphibians if you need them. Salamanders, frogs, toads, newts and others. So the score after one round, we've got Sweeney in the house yet to score. Ben on one point, but out in front on two points, it's Kirsty Webeck. Now while they're writing their answer about the amphibian, here's some more info about clat fart. June Casagrange writes for the LA Times. Great news, everyone.

The Oxford English Dictionary has finally added a verb form to its definition of clat fart. That's right. The noun we all love, meaning gossip, is now also a verb meaning gossip. And it's not just intransitive, as in excuse us while we clat fart, but it also has transitive sense, meaning it can take a direct object. For instance, please don't clat fart the news of our growing family just yet.

Finally, says June. What's that you say? You weren't aware people use clat fart as a verb? And what's that you say? You weren't aware of the word that it existed in the first place? Well, don't feel bad. It's new to me too. But it just goes to show you how much fun and learning there is to be had

by skimming lists of words and word senses added to the Oxford English Dictionary. Absolutely true. Cheers, June. That was from 2019. So it's like slightly out of date news, but. You got a big backlog, huh? This is a big backlog of news. How far people just throw, throw, you've got a huge inbox just filled with people's bullshit.

That's overflowing with bullshit. Fun bullshit. Yeah. That's a dream, isn't it? Oh, yeah. All right. answer in for question number two. Which of these real species of amphibian?

Johnny Fast Break. Web-footed swamp lizard. Mud nymph. Amazonian flying frog. Horror frog. Or legless bastard. I think that's called a snake. All right.

Kersie, it's your go. Johnny Fast. break, web-footed swamp lizard, mud nymph, Amazonian flying frog, horror frog or legless bastard. It's a tough one, this one. All very good contenders. And you're an animal fan. You love wet animals in particular.

Wet animals, did you say? Yep. The weather the better, that's what you said. That's what you said. The wetter the better. That is what I said when I walked in here today. Yeah. Out of context.

Yeah. Didn't even mention I was talking about secrets. She didn't say hi. Hey, everyone. She didn't even say hi. Yeah, I just walked in. I slammed open the door and I said, the weather the better. And you all knew.

Yeah, we knew. You knew. I'm talking animals again. She said it while shaking my hand as well. She was dripping at the time. And I meant it, Sweney. I meant every second of that intense eye contact. I can't believe I've got to go first.

Yeah, I mean, you do have an advantage here because you are, we learn on a previous episode you're like a, just some sort of spokesperson for wet animals. Is that right? Yeah. Yeah, not fully wet. More the damp ones. Okay.

The clammy ones. Really? Clams. Clamps. Yeah, okay. What about slippery boys? And slippery boys. Clams and slippery boys.

That's what I'm all about. I, yes, Matt, I am an ambassador for the Australian Marine Conservation Society. So thank you for bringing that up. Johnny Fast Break. Web-footed, Swamp Lizard, Mud Nymph, Amazonian Flying Frog, Horror Frog, Legless Bastard. All right. I like mud nymph. I like horror frog.

I like web-footed. Swamp lizard. All of the rest can. gets lost. So you're putting a line through Johnny Fast Break, Amazonian Flying Frog

and Legless Bastard. Yeah. They're all going Australian Ben Russell's bracket. Okay. Is that my bum on my throat? You can choose. It starts at one and works

this way down to the other. Yeah, one not both. Why not both? One in one, one in the other, meet in the middle. Shake hands. Oh. I like it.

I like it a lot. I'm going to say, that the correct answer is the horror frog. Horror frog for Kirstie. Now, Matt, it's interesting because you said what type of animal. So we've got one frog, we don't need another frog, and it doesn't go into specifics of frogs, it's more just like salamander, newt, you know,

frog niv, legless bastard, Johnny Fast Bracket. So that's... So that's why I'm more inclined to go on sort of more those broader terms of amphibian and less the exact species of... I said the question was real species of amphibian. So you can take... Of amphibian, no, not like...

Right. We weren't going flying frogs. We weren't going... I see what you're saying. Big toadments. You know, we were going these different types. Right. Of amphibs.

Yep. So, you know, what have we got? We got, can you give them to me one more time? Johnny Fast Bray. Yep. Webfooted Swamp Lizard. Mud nymph. Amazonian Flying Frog.

Horror Frog. Legless bastard. So for me, for my options, I'm going to either go legless bastard, Johnny Fassbacket or Mud Nymph. Yeah. Because they're, they're to the brief of what you've said. Right. Right.

So that's what I'm immediate. You've got to start ruling out immediately. Yeah. You've got to make it. It's all about choices. It's almost the exact opposite of what Kursi ruled out. Exactly. Yeah, I mean.

So I'm going to go legless bastard because I'm letting my heart. Yeah. I like to let my, my, give one to the mind and then I give one to the heart. Yeah. And this one's going to the heart. And regardless of whether it's right or wrong, I think it's good. I like it. I like it.

I think you've done a good. job, whoever made this suggestion. If it is the house, then, you know, good on you. And if it's one of you guys, respect. Thanks, mate. Cheers. Appreciate that. What do you think, Sweeney?

Was it Johnny Fast Break? The first one? Johnny Fast Break, yeah. Johnny Fast Break sounds like a 1970s test cricketer. Oh. Which is on at the moment. So, topically, I'm going to go for that. Okay.

You're a mad dog. Based on no other reasoning. No message to you. I saw it on my TV before I left the house. Swenny, you cannot be helped. And it's Johnny Forst Break coming in. He's doing a great job there. It's a real forced wicket.

And he absolutely loves it. He loves a dry wicket here. Johnny Force Break. And he's got him. Johnny Forst Break coming in. He's got another one. He's on a hat trick. That's fantastic.

I felt like I was in the stadium. I know. My job here is just to give the answers that I think Ben can best be fun. I'll just be your Scotty Pippin all day. Just laying it up, laying it up. All right, here's who write the answers. Amazonian Flying Frog, that was Sweeney.

Sweeney. That's good. The mud nymph was Ben. Suck shit. Oh, did I say that one? No. The more I did, what? I just wanted to...

You were clear, it was in your... It was in your three, though. Oh, okay, okay, okay, okay. The wed footed swamp lizard, uh, that was cursedy. It was really good. Gotcha. I really good. I got you both.

Mm. I got you both pegged. Now, sweet. Straight in the bracket. Straight in the bracket. Sweetie went for Johnny Fast break. That was the house. Reaked of the house to me.

Yeah, I don't know. I'm not really sure. I was picturing more like a pool player. but yeah like maybe like in the 50s you know as a greaser but I think I have much preferred how it instantly changed in my head to be a fast bowler do you know what I mean like I think we're beyond the point now where I'm guessing based on what I think is correct

he's got he's got like buttoned all the way down yeah he's wearing a chain he's smoking just before he's got a baby in his hand yeah he's heard of a vagina yeah yeah yeah All big time. They're not, they don't need to come to him in dream.

You know, his girlfriend's on tour with him and his wife. Legless bastard. Ben went for that. I'm afraid that was Dylan, the question writer. Hey, that's a good one. It felt really real. It felt good. And it's the most, like, it sounds the most like a, like a slur, like a, something you'd offend someone with.

It sounds like, yeah. Someone, in the 70s, someone's telling you, you're drunk. Legless bastard. Also, I mean, it sounds like something a 70s prime minister would say about someone. Yeah, the opposition later, maybe. Anyone whose boss gets angry at them for not coming into work tomorrow. It's a legless bastard. So that means, Kersie was corrected.

It's horror frog. And Ben's logic certainly makes it sound like I've written that question poorly. Apologies for that, Ben. If true. Right, again, you have one job. Yeah, but I think Swinney and I were able to navigate it. It's funny because I, yes, that's true. And honestly, if we can, then, God, anyone should be able to.

Dylan actually wrote the question as which of these are real species of frog? And I'm like, I'd be fun to open it up a bit. People can play with the other amphibians. So you changed it. I broke the question. I like to play with the other amphibians. They're all pretty wet. The wetter, the better.

Amphibians means they can be wet or dry. That's correct. Yeah, right. Much like me. Yeah. And you much prefer them in the wet state. I thoroughly enjoy them in the wet state. Does your, you know, that you're the spokesperson for, does your clan fuck with amphibians?

Oh, yeah. Absolutely. Yeah, they're part of the family. They're part of the family. You know? Yeah. You're more a fresh water guy. No, amphibs are, you know.

Oh, yeah? Yeah. Are they? Yeah. Oh, okay. So, like, there's no crocodiles in the ocean? Are they amphibious, though? You know they amphibians?

But what? Where do you draw the line, Kess? Where do you draw the line? Because dogs love going for a swim. Yeah. Do they count? Yeah. Yes.

Am I an amphibian? Yes. A lot of dip. Quick throw some more at me. Water buffalo. Yes. Rino. Yes.

Question three comes from Josh Harmon from Garland in Texas. And the question is, how did Mary Jane Watson die in the Spider-Man comic book Spider-Man Rain. Mary Jane,

who's like, sometimes I believe Spider-Man's girlfriend, dies in this certain Spider-Man comic, Spider-Man Rain.

How did Mary Jane die? While you're writing your answers, I let the audience know a bit more about horror frogs. According to a new

scientist, try a co-batrakus robustus actively breaks its own bones to produce claws that puncture their way out of the frog's toe pads, probably when it's threatened.

David Blackburn and colleagues at Harvard University's Museum of Comparative Zoology think the gruesome behavior is a defense mechanism. In Cameroon, they are roasted and eaten. Hunters use long spears and machetes to kill the frogs, apparently to avoid being hurt by their claws. But they are full-on-looking things. They've got, like, their hair is,

or they're also known sometimes as hairy frogs. See that. Swinging? Oh, that's disgusting. Oh, no. Horror frog. Oh, that's awful.

Oh, poor thing. Yeah, laugh is paying for that guy. All right, the answer is in for question number three. How did Mary Jane Watson die in the Spider-Man comic book, Spider-Man Rain? Here are your options. She was killed by accident after being hit by an exploding pumpkin thrown by the green goblin meant for Spider-Man. Option two, after Peter goes on vacation to Puerto Rico,

Mary Jane decides to put on Peter Parker's suit to stop a nearby robbery before slipping on an empty bottle and breaking her neck. Oh, that would hurt. Option three, Mary Jane contracts cancer after years of coming into contact with Peter Parker's radioactive sperm. Option four, she slipped and fell. from a roof while trying to find Peter Parker. Option 5.

She was shrunk down to microscopic size and drowned in a single raindrop while exploring the lab of series villain minimiser. She later appears to Peter Parker as a cat and saves him from a similar fate. Well, finally, she is tricked by the green goblin into goblin on his nuts. And she has an anaphylactic fit. Kirsty. Grow up, Kirsty, honestly. I, long live dees nuts, dogs.

Goblin on these nuts. Never, shall they cease. She was a goblin. Goblin on these nuts. Goblin on these nuts. All right, Ben, it sure goes. Okay. Got exploding pumpkin.

Mm-hmm. I got tries to wear a suit while Parker's on holiday. You got radioactive sperm. Mm-hmm. You got slipping off the roof. You got getting shrunk down and drowning in a single raindrop Or goblin on these nuts. It's going to be, because Spider-Man is the villains are shit.

Sorry. And then it's a great, you know, I don't fuck with the comics, but he's got a lot, basically. And a lot of them are kind of lame. Right? Which ones? Yeah, like, oh, I don't even know. There's just so many.

Yeah, oh, the Aircon remote's trying to get him. Yeah, it's like, oh, the AirCon remote, man, I'm coming for your AirCon. Oh, Bob. Podcast man. He has some real lame ones. Right. Like, we only see, we see the best. In mainstream, we see the best that they have to offer, really.

Right. And they're, what are the best? Because the best ones don't seem, like the Green Gobblower, I haven't seen those movies, but always seem kind of lame to me anyway. It's just like a fix. Yeah. Actually, you're right. mask. That Andrew Garfield.

trilogy had some terrible villains in it. Yeah. Yeah, I know it's got some real bad ones. So it's like... But then people who love it would be like, you don't know what you're fucking talking about. They'll be furious right now. Yeah, and that's their, that's their right.

So I think what you're saying, Ben, is you think she was goblin on these nuts. Listen, she could have been goblin on these nuts. The writing, what I'm saying is the writing is a bit questionable sometimes in Spider-Man. So I just want to distance myself from this comment Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's fine That's fine I'll take it

I'll take it because it means nothing to me I just wanted to say that And if you're getting upset about it Then you need, this is a wake-up call It's not too late to change your life Go outside and touch grass So I'm slipping on a bottle, breaking neck To me makes sense

The minimiser is lame enough to work and what was another one that stood out? Radioactive sperm. Radioactive sperm could even work, to be honest. Sploting pumpkin. See, I don't think... Not dissimilar to the radioactive sperm. I'm going to discount Green Goblin ones.

Okay. Because they're too obvi. Right. It's between those three for me. I'm just going to roll... I'm going to go... I don't know. I don't know.

I'm just going to go... dressed up as Peter Parker, slipped on bottle, broke neck. Locked in. What do you think, Sweeney? I reckon it's one of those ones where they deliberately write a really weird comic. And they go, this is a different series to what we normally do. I've never heard of this rain thing. Maybe it's one of the big ones.

Are you a Spider-Man fan? No, no. I've still never heard of it, though. I'm using my ignorance to my advantage here, which is how you play this game. Yeah. Yeah. I think, God, call me crazy. I think it's the sperm one.

Because I reckon they've written some. You know how the... Yeah, there's fair one. I love writing the R-rated comics where it's just a bit weird. Like maybe it's in a parallel universe, a little bit horny. It's in a parallel universe. You're talking to me into it, to be honest. It's not about Spider-Man.

Is that allowed? Yeah. I think so. Wait, is that okay if he... Do you want to be convincing? Do you want to come over to sperm land with me, Ben? I want to come to Spirman. Do you want to come to Spirman?

to spermland with me. Kersi, you want to come to sperm land with the boys? Yeah, I was, I was already in spermland. Like, I just want that put on the public record. Because it's, I'm the mayor of sperm land. Maybe that's where the queen's gone. The queen's up in heaven and sperm land. Population, Kirsty.

I was already, I was, like, heavily, heavily involved in sperm land. Some heavily heavy sperm. You're a sperm advocate. You're an ambassador to sperm land. I'm an ambassador to sperm land. to sperm land To sperm land Yeah

So you're all locking in Jizz? Have I just convinced everyone To come to sperm land I was incredible I was playing on locking in sperm land Kirsts who wants to make it pretty clear I think Swainer that she was already in Spirland

I was in Spirmland I wasn't even convinced by Swenny The Mayor of Spirmland I'm the Mayor of Spirmland I'm the spokesperson for Spirmland Really? Well that's a pretty wet place I guess Hey everyone

It's come pop into my car Let's all go to Spirmland together She's the come commander the better. That's the slogan. Yes. That's true. The wet of the better, the education state, sperm land.

You weren't. It's on all the number plates. We're working together. Spirms brought us together. Spirms brought us together. Finally. Kers, you weren't drawn towards drowning in a tiny raindrop. That's also a bit wet.

That's, it is a bit wet. It's less wet. It is less wet than I'm usually drawn to. It's not wet enough. Okay. Well, everyone's locked in. Here's the answers. Goblin on these nuts.

That was the how. I think you wrote that, Matt. Ben Russell written all over it, are you kidding? It also reeked of Matt Stewart. Who blew it with Matt Stewart? Matt Stewart reeks of sperm. Especially after he blew it. He's just been two weeks in spermland.

What do you expect? It's like springtime on the streets of Brunswick in here. I'm not a scientist, but that is what we're made from, right? It makes sense of with smell of it. Killed by an exploding pumpkin, that was Sweeney. Yep. On holidays to Puerto Rico, while Peter's on holidays in Puerto Rico, she puts on the suit.

Ben was so close to going after this, but this was actually written by Josh, the question writer. Wow, Josh nearly got you, Ben. How does that feel? I feel saved by sperm. You were saved by sperm. Spirm saved my life. She slipped and fell from a roof while trying to find it.

Peter Parker. That was so vague. I loved it. That was Kirsty. Yeah. Meaning jizz is correct. That is the winner. Come, come, come, come, come, come.

I was the minimiser because I was like, shitty villain. Minimiser's fun because he'd be like, yeah, whatever, man, it's not a big deal. Hang on, man, can you, sorry, can you read out of the answer again? What are you talking about? That's his main, but I was like, no, man, it's fine. Yeah, just, hey, it's fine.

It's fine. Superpowers. I thought that was really good. I think I would have picked the minimiser if I was playing the game. He's a 27-year-old male from the inner north of Melbourne. Don't worry about it. Performative. Don't worry about it.

So, yeah, the correct one was Mary Jane contracts cancer after years of coming into contact with Peter Parker's radioactive spout. How's coming spelt? Asking for a friend. OM. Y and G. missed opportunity. Yeah. It's really like they really just did all the regular vanilla stories, didn't they?

And then they were like, what else can we do? That's what you do though, isn't it? And then you just like you go full horn. And then what I reckon... Eventually all roads lead to come. All roads lead to come. But they would have gone, no one's going to buy these comic. And then they remember the people who read their comics are people who read comics.

Yeah. And then, lo and behold. They're horny. They're horny. Horny. Horny. Horny nerds are horny. And nerds are horny.

Propping up the economy. Thank you. We should be thanking them. Yeah. Thank you. I've definitely met a horny nerd or two in my day. Oh, they're really? I think nerds are actually the horniest of all the people.

I think we should buy the comic. Can we get it? Can we expense that? They stay up late. Yeah. Reading comics. Watching Spider-Man being horny. The rest of us are asleep.

Yeah. They're being horny. Yeah, exactly. And all of it, like, he's always like, flinging white sort of. Gack. Fliggin white gack. I mean, it's... Thinking what I would do when they started him doing that.

Yeah, it's spider webs. Oh, is it? Yeah. Is it? Cool. Yeah, right. At some point, like, the glands got mixed up somehow from his balls all the way down his arms, I guess.

Yeah, tubes got mixed up. It would have been a genetic thing. Yeah. Because what I'd love to... Actually, Matt, the, in the law is that it's actually, uh, cartridges and he doesn't produce it. It was only in Sam Ramey's movies that he produced the web fluid himself,

which was quite controversial at the time. I think you'll find. Well, that's what I was talking about. Because what I'd love to happen now... So imagine if we read that comic now, I'd never read a Spider-Man comic in my life. No. If I had read this as my first entry

into the Spider-Man comic universe, and it's about someone dying because someone knotted in them. and then you tried to read any other comic in the series. It'd be a real step down, wouldn't it? Apparently this one, according to the question writer, Josh, this is not very good. Huh. He says it's not a good comic story.

Some might say it's even a bad comic story. Yes, Josh. But it's certainly the only one I'm aware of that talks about radioactive semen. Yeah. Some might say it's a bad comic story. It's brave. All right, question four comes from Nick Dennis from Eddors, Pennsylvania

And the question is, He sure does. The question is, In the Lord of the Rings series, What is the name of Gimley's grandfather? So, according to Josh, Spider-Man Rain is a four-issue limited comic book series

that came out in 2006. It is set in the future where the city of New York is being ruled by Spider-Man's worst villains and an 80-year-old Peter Parker has long since retired from his thwipping ways. Throughout the story, Peter is constantly haunted

by the ghost of his dead wife, Mary Jane. We can only speculate as to what could have ended her life until during a scene where Peter is hugging her gravestone, it is revealed that Mary Jane died of cancer and that Peter had, and I say this with the utmost respect, slowly fucked her to death over many years. Josh, thanks so much to say that with respect. I guess we know that Peter Parker wasn't a pull-out guy.

Didn't use the pull-out men. method. I guess we do. At least in that, in that multiverse. Yeah, that's true. You've got to think

about the multiverse. I think there's a Peter Parker pullout and another. Yeah, it is. Yeah, in Peter Parker

pullout. Yeah, that's what he said. A peck of pickled peppers. Oh, okay. You said it so fast, Matt,

you've been practicing. Do it again. Peter Parker pullout method. Peter Parker pullout method. I practice the Peter Parker pullout method. What about the Peter Parker pullout plant?

Oh, yes. Oh. Peter Parker pre-parental Polet plan. Oh. Hey, while you're still writing your answer, let's go for a quick break. We're back in the answer room

for question number four. Here is that question. In the Lord of the Rings series, what is the name of Gimley's grandfather? In the Lord of the Ring series, what is the name of Gimley's grandfather? Fifth Rand Thriel? That's option one.

Option two, Grebus. Option three, Gimley Senior. Option four, groin. Option five, gumbish. Or finally, Ghiblets the Elder. Ghiblets. Okay, so back to you, Sweeney. So you've got fifth thranthriel.

Sorry, one more time, Matt. Fifthranthriel. It's no Peter Parker pull-out plan. Griebus. Gimli Senior Groyne Gumbish Ghiblitz the elder

Mm Grievous sounds too much like Grievous bodily harm I don't like it for that It sounds too much like an English word Right

It is an English book I think Grubis is not Middle Earth Grubes Oh middle earth Middle Earth Yeah It's like Earth

But middle It's different It's mid It's so yeah Where is it What is that mean? It's not It's near New Zealand

Well no Middle earth is it. So grievous is a word. Is it inside the cross of the earth? Can you put grebus into a sentence, please? Why is that my responsibility? You said it was too English. Sorry, Matt, we're now on Guymont spelling base.

We've swapped shows. Grebus. Grebus to meet you. Grebus, yeah. That's right. That's a great use. Grievous. I'm having such a grebeis style.

Yeah. I think it's grievous. Yeah, it's grievous. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But this is grievous. Yes, which is, I'm saying it's too close. It's too close to it being. Oh, it's too close to it being a real word.

Yeah, yeah. There's too many, there's too many letters in it. Groin's also very close. Oh, there's worse out there, Kirsty. If you think that's got too many letters. It's got too many letters in it. Gumbish is close to a word as well. Gumbish.

Gumbish, yeah. Sounds like gumboot. Gumboot. Yeah. Yeah. Giblets is a real word. Giblets is a real word. Giblets, they're a part of a chicken.

Yeah. Oh, really? Gimli's senior, I don't. Oh, senior is a real word. Senior. I just don't think they would have had seniors in the Lord of the Rings. They would have had elders. They would have had like a descriptor like Gond off the Grey.

Oh, right. Is this a universe you're more, you've read a little more of? I think I think I've just seen the movies. Yeah. That's an advantage, I'd think. Is the grandfather in the movies? Sitting next to a nerd. I haven't seen The Hobbit.

And his name is Ben Russell. Is The Hobbit, because The Hobbit is like a prequel. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So maybe, this character, maybe is in that, I guess. Maybe, I don't know. I didn't watch it. Like any self-respecting person. Yeah, Thwenny.

I mean, I've seen, I've seen all of them. Yeah, that's true. So, when I watch the Hobbit movies. The Hobbit's a bad. Before coming to record this. Yeah, I just had a sneaky feeling. What are you being drawn to then? So you've been in the world.

Well, you've... I feel like I've done the bare minimum. I don't want to... Yeah, no, well, that's... I think I'm being accused of being. No, I'm not an appeal. There's no accusation. You've read the Silmarillion.

Do you know what this is? I got the Spider-Man question right, and now you all think I'm a big fucking nerd. It's true. It's actually true. Whereas I was a big nerd before that, so... There you go. But what are you being drawn to something?

It sounds like, you know, because I... I've seen some of the movies, but I can't remember it all. Read me the ones that aren't the first and the last one. Gimli Senior. Groyne in Gumbish. Oh, and Grebus, sorry.

The first one, first one's... Oh, I do like Groyne. Fifth, Thranet, Thrill. I do like Groyne, because there's no shame about it also being an English word. But Groyne is close to Gloin, which Gimli is the son of, because in the movies, he goes, I'm Gimley, son of Gloin. Oh. So you think it might go Groyne, Gloin Gimley?

Yeah. But what if they're... That's the point. What if they're... Big G-G fan. Big Gief. I'm going to go with Groyne for that. Locked in groin.

I would never lock in groin. I just want that on the public record, please. All right, that's... My groin's already locked in. And that's a problem with you. I'm going to go for Grebus, despite the fact it is way too similar to a mode of transportation. Bus? Yeah, bus.

Okay, but it's got a mode of transportation in it. It's got a grey, which is the only thing distinguishing it from being an actual mode of transportation. It's a grey French bus. It is so embarrassing how long it took me to realise that grebus wasn't a word. I'm like, yeah, it is a word, isn't it? Yeah. And when I said to you, oh, it's grevis. That was me realizing that grebus wasn't grievous.

I meant like general grievous in Star Wars. Like that sort of grievous. Breavis bodily harm. And then I was like, well, that's too close. But then when I've gone for groin, because that is an actual word. Because you're not a baby. You're not a baby. Yeah.

Star Wars is for babies. All right, Ben. What are you thinking? What was the first one? First one was... Jimley Senior. First one was Fifth Rand Thriel. Fifth Theranthriel.

That sounds like an elvish name. Fuck you. What? Ben speaks selfish. And what was the last one? Last one was Jiblets the elder. Jiblets. The elder.

The elder. That's full name. Yeah, I reckon that's Sweeney's. So I won't go Gimley Senior because Gimley is not a junior. He doesn't go, I'm Gimley Jr. Son of Glein. Oh, that's clever. Sounds like you've watched it.

But also the fact that you know the dad's name. Exactly. Because I just for some reason that is I'm Gimli son of Gleyn. Yeah. No, but doesn't that rule out? Gimley's senior? Yeah.

Well, no. Oh, no, it doesn't because, oh. Because that's a granddad. Is a grandpa still a senior? I need to map out of the family tree. Have anyone got some crowns? Has anyone got an ancestry.com kit? You almost definitely can buy a framed family tree of giblets.

How do you know that? Sorry, Gimley. I'm going to go Gumbish just because to be different, to be weird. and crazy. This is classic you. I'm going to be crazy. I'm going to be a little bit wild. I'm Ben Russell.

I'm quirky. I'm a manic pixie dream girl. I should say it. The halfway mark going into this round, the scores are Sweeney on one, Ben in the house on two, Kirsty out in front on four. All right, so you've gone for Gumbish. Cursie's going for Griebis and Swine's going for Griebis and Swine's going for Grim. Here's her at the answers.

Ghiblet Seato, that was the house. I do generally get confused between. Gimley, I think his name is Giblets. So that was just for me. Gimley Senior, that was Kirstie. Very well played. Absolutely shredded by the nerds sitting either side of you. I didn't know that I was playing with two big nerds.

In brackets, compliment. Compliment. Yeah. Thanks. I was gorgeous one. It's your only redeeming features. Everything out? Crocker shit.

Absolutely terrible blokes. Fifth Thranthriel. That was the house, specifically the questioner out of Nick. And I appreciate it that Nick wrote in brackets. It's a fake name, but I'd pronounce it, Fifth Tranthriel. Beautiful. So I was reading his phonetic spellage. He clearly is not a student of the Elvis language.

And he'll be thrilled that you got it on the seventh go. Now, Curse went for Grievous. That was Ben. Sweet enough if you noticed why. Ben was so defensive when you said, you shat on us straight away. Did you notice how defensive you got? You know what?

I'm playing it back in my head now. It's actually pretty good, dude. Yeah. It was so defensive. I don't think, I don't think that you could say that about this one. Ben, you'd be a terrible poker player.

You got a terrible poker player, actually. Now, Ben, I've actually got a really good hand for you guys. I like to switch it up. Because you can't bluff all the time. You can't like, you got to, sometimes you just got to play, Sometimes you've got to be smart, sometimes we're pretty dumb.

Yeah, you've got to drop the face. I love how offended you were by my taking a part. Grubis is actually pretty good. Can you apologize for this, my name? I didn't realize I was dealing with a fucking pussy. Now, Ben went for gumbish. That was Sweeney. Yes.

A real salt in the wound stuff. Yes. I hate your answer. you love mine. Oh. And I don't care. Really? You clearly do.

Why are you crying then? Stop crying them. I don't care. He's going to leave. He's taking it really well. Your fuck is! This guy sucks. And a real cherry on top for Sweeney.

The correct answer is groin. Oh my God. I surprised himself with that. Groyne, gloin giblets. A cherry on top of your groin. Sounds like J.R. Tull King was smoking a bit of pipe weed. So one for Ben, two for Sweeney that round.

Fuck yeah. I don't mind that one. I think that's a good... You want to scatter the... As long as the house doesn't get all the points, really. Yeah. That's my sort of... So with two rounds to go, it's the house on two points.

Ben and Sweeney on three, but out in front on four points, it's Kirsty. Close, really? This is what you want. It's what you want. Jake. Question five. comes from Edward from Canberra. And the question is,

Shout out, Canberra. Oh, it's your hometown. It's my hometown, yeah. Good on you, Edward. I reckon you know Edward. He's a... Definitely, there's only six people. Mm-hmm.

He's a, he's a big supporter of live comedy in Canberra. Yeah. Every gig I've done there, Edward's been there, pretty much. Yeah, it's Edward Webeck. He's your dad. I reckon I do know Edward. He's not my father, no, Ben. Can you please grow up?

Cousin. Nope, not my cousin. Son. What did he do? What did you know he's off? Yes, he's my child. Edward, thank you for writing in son. It's the first time he's contacted you in years.

I'm getting back in contact with you through the medium of Matt Stewart's podcast. There was in brackets, please read out on a cursive episode. She's my mum. Also, can you get bread, eggs, milk? Edward's question is, what was track 11? on Weird Al Yankovich's album Bad Hair Day. So I want the parody song name and the song it's parodying. It's a great question, actually.

Do you want to know the decade this came out? Yeah, definitely. There was like mid-90s, mid to late 90s, I think. And while you're writing your answers, here's some more info about groin. According to the Lord of the Rings' fandom wiki, groin was and I should say there there is a like a like a little inflection

over the O so it's probably pronounced not quite like groin but I don't think it's as funny that way I'm sorry I'm choosing I'm choosing fun today oh I don't need to be funny I'm correct well I think both are fine I've picked one you've done both earlier I was trying to be funny now I'm trying to be correct I've switched tactics I was I wasn't even I don't know how you've taken that personally I was talking to the listeners.

I didn't even think you were listening. Well, I'm choosing to be. Do you know what? I got inspired by Ben. Yeah, yeah. I'm taking things personally now. Groin was born in TA 2671. He was of the line of Duren

and was likely born in the lonely mountain. Groin had an older brother named Funden, who was the father of Ballin and Dwellyn. Groin had two sons. Owen. born in T.A. 2774 and Gloin, who Ben mentioned earlier, born in T.A. 2783. Both of Groyne's sons undertook the quest of Erebor, and Gloin was the father of Gimli of the fellowship of the ring. For all his genealogical importance, nothing more is known of his life.

His dates of birth and death, though, state that he was alive at the time of Smog's sack of Barobor and the War of the Dwarves and Orcs 29 years later. It is likely that he was present at both these events. On you, Groyne? Hey, shout out to Groyne. Shut out Groyne. Oh. Was that too much?

No, that was great. I thought that was the perfect amount. Thanks, mate. All right, the answer is in for question number five. What was track 11 on Weird Al Yankovic's album Bad Hair Day? All right. Do you want the parody first or the real one? Give us the parody and then the real.

Okay. I want to eat Chick-fil-A. Parodying Backstreet Boys, I want it that way. I want to eat Chick-fil-A. That's good. Really? I don't mind it. Okay.

I'll hate it. Chunderwall. Parodying, I don't know if you pick it It, one Chunderwa Love it Yeah I love parody songs

Fony calls Parodying Waterfalls By TLC Don't go chasing Fony calls Sure you to be making funny calls Yeah

Don't go making Fony calls Yeah yeah That's good That's good Hug from the boys Instead of kiss By a rose

By seal Baby got to get a from the boys. It's really great. Drinking a dark chock mocha, Ricky Martin's live in LaVita Loca. Dricking a dark chock mocha.

That's pretty good. Peter Parker pull out. That's good. Or finally, ain't nothing but a G string. Dr. Dre's ain't nothing but a G-thang. I can't hear that one. All right. So, Kirstie, she'll go.

So you got, I want to eat Chick-fil-A, chunder-wall, phony calls, hug from the boys, drinking a dark chok-moka, or another bit of G-string. Okay. All right, I'm going to get rid of Chick-fil-A. I hate it. It's too, it feels, Chick-fil-A feels too modern for 1995. Right.

Yeah. For some reason. He probably wouldn't, he doesn't really do parodies that, make it about food, does he? No, or dark chocolate makers. Oh, hang on, he did eat it instead of... No, that's a good point. Yeah, but that's about eating.

Not about the product. Okay. Okay, okay, okay. Although Sweeney seems a bit defa. Oh, my God. And it's recently been in the United States. And knows all about chick-fil-lis.

All right, that's the... I love that one. I think that one's... my favorite. I actually do love that one, but I don't think it's correct. I also think it's Ben's because of... Because how much he loves it. How much he loves it.

Yeah. Okay. Yeah. I think... How do you see Chunderwall going? It's just about... It's like there's a party and there's a... Chunder wall.

A wall where everyone's spewed on it? Just hacking one up on it. Yeah. Yeah. After all, use the chunder wall. Yeah, use the chunder wall. Yeah. Yeah.

And the video clip was just at like a frat party. They're playing beer pong. They're down in all sorts of liquor. He would have been dressed as the one that at Gallagher boys. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

And then pointing over the shoulder at the chunder wall. Yep. Well, technically that's about food too. That's true. No, because you can, you can actually vomit up just liquids. He's a, I only, I said that because, coming back to the wet. Welcome back to Vomiting 101 with Kirsty Webeck. Back to the wet with Christy.

I have the authority on everything moist. Wet, wet, wet. When I, I really did think all of his parodies were just about food. And Evan Munner Smith, who runs Humdinger, he's a big, weird owl fan. And I've said that to him. He gets pretty defensive. No, actually, not all these songs are about food, actually. So it's really just some of the big hits, that's all.

Yo, yo, yo, yo. I agree. Eat it, fat. They're the two big Michael Jackson one. Yeah. And that one, he's eating a lot. Yeah. And then there's the Chick-fil-A one, which I'm pretty sure it's real.

Oh, I don't know, sorry. Should be anything away. This direction. But wait, in the mid-90s, phony calls were still, they were like a big deal. Do we mean, by phony callers, do we mean prank calls? Yeah. Yeah, okay. Like Matt Tilly.

Do you remember none of you were, he was the Melbourne FM radio prank caller? Right. Yeah. Matt Tilly's, oh, hey, I'm, I'm your doctor. You've got, you're going to die. Funny stuff. Funny stuff. I don't know if it's quite as comedy.

Maybe it wasn't as for one of them. Make comedy legal. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you can't say anything anymore. No, I think you can again. Oh. Wait, hang on.

Thank God, well. No, I think you're, yeah. I think it's back. Okay, so, um, okay, so chickfil-ays out, Chunderwall is in contention. Um, then I also said that I think the, um, the, uh, the, uh, the, uh, the, the, uh, the, the, uh, the, uh, the, uh, the, uh, the, uh, the, uh, the, uh, the, uh, uh, uh, uh, The mocker is Ben. And then I've got phony calls left. And then what else do I have?

The G string. And one more. Have you got Dark Chalk Moka? Yep. Hug from the boys. Hug from the boys. Fonny calls, chunder wall, chick filet. G string.

I'm going to go with no, Ben. I'm just thinking about him. I'm thinking about him. He's good. I want it to be the G string one. All of those songs on an album would be incredible. Totally. All of those songs would be listenable.

They're all valid. I just want everyone to know that all of your answers are valid, okay? They're all valid. I think this is the one where I'm most happy with this way. Yeah. Gotta get a hug from the boys. I see that, that music clip. Do you know what that sounds like?

It sounds like a radio bit that Hamish and Andy did in the 2010s. Yeah. Hug from the boys is. It's God, Bra. Right, Prula boys. And you can just hear Andy and Hamish singing that. Yeah, so I agree. I'm going to lock in funny calls.

Okay, funny calls. Even though I like the G string one. Do you think Hamish and Andy are our weird out? They did do a lot of really good songs. I think that's probably one of the things that they don't get enough credit for. If they put out an actual album. Well, they never released. Because they did Cool Boy and the, was it, Frontman?

And cool, what was it? That's a great question. Oh, fuck, what's it called? Front boy, cool man and front boy? Cool boy's in the front man, whatever it was called. I'm going to go, I'm just going to go to one that the most that really stuck out to me. I'm going to go drinking a dark chalk moka. Just because I think that that's, that's good.

Drink, I can really. You're not allowed to choose your own one, though. Drinking a dark chocker. But you're not allowed to choose your own one. Yeah, well, I'm going to choose dark chock mocha. Thank you very much. But you're not allowed to choose your own one. Do you think Americans...

I'm gonna call crime stoppers. It's back in the front man. Cool boys in the front man. Yeah, yeah. Cool boys and the bracket. Do you think Americans back in the 90s would have had the coffee culture to know that a mocker existed?

Ooh, interesting. Why are you talking him out of his answer? You're weirdos. These are people... Wow, defensive. Well, I'm sitting next to a weirdo, L. Yank of it now. I reckon... The answer to that is yes.

They had Starbucks then. Yeah, see, this guy gets it. Listen to that. that accent. The answer is yes, Sweeney. I know because I grew up in the United States of America. Mokas have been around since before you were born. Yes, Sweeney. But they don't, they're like just encountered a flat white and a latte. Sweeney. America had one type of coffee before the like two years ago. America never had, they don't have flat whites. Sorry to bust your bubble. That's an Australian thing. They do it at Bluestone coffee. It's an Australian invention. Yeah, it's in America.

Well, Swinney, if you weren't already sitting down, I'd say sit down, Swenny. You're right. You're right. The guy that's lived in America doesn't know. This guy is one of the founding fathers of the United States of America. I was at motherfuckinth rock, dude. This guy gets it, Sweeney. Bluestone is an Australian cafe franchise.

It's named after the Blue Stone Melbourne Laneways, I think. I'm going to go, Doc Chalk, Michael, what are you going for? Can I have them one more time? Yeah. I want to eat a chick-fil-a-chuk, chunder-wall, phony calls, hug from the boys,

drinking the dark-muck-choker, chalk-boker, or ain't nothing but a G-string. I want it to be one of the first. I want it to be Chunder-Wall or Chick-fil-A. I think I'm going to go Chunder-Wall because I can just see...

Because you wrote Chick-fil-Lay. I can see all the bits of the music video right in front of me. Yeah. I reckon it'd be the easiest one to make a funny video out of, and that's what we'll... We're into at the time. Awesome.

All right. Here's the right the answers. Ain't nothing but a G-string. That was Sweeney. Well done. I'm surprised no one brought up that they don't call it a G-string in America.

Oh. To thong. And I was sending that and I was like, someone's going to get this. This is stupid. Oh, interesting. I never even considered it,

to be honest. Men either. We're so Ozzy. Because the thong song would have been out around that time. The thong song would have been out. Hug from the boys. That was Ben,

Russell. How did it go again, Ben? Baby, going to get a hug from the boys. It doesn't even wrong. It's good. That one came out fully formed. I think Ben just really wants a hug from the boys.

I just want the boys to have. It's like manifesting. I was like, kiss and a rose hug for boys. That was a lot of effort on my point, but, uh, you know. I loved it. I want to eat chick fillet. Uh, Sweenie almost went for that, but avoided it. That was the house.

Oh. I picked the song and then I, I'm like, all right. I just looked up 90s songs and then Chick-fil-A. I didn't even know, but I've looked it up since. It's been around a long time. It was actually, like, it could definitely have been around. Oh, dude.

It was being franchised in the 60s, actually. Do you want a hug from the boys? Yes. Is that genuine? It's carbon one of the boys. Okay. Sweeney went for Chunderwall. thirsty.

Because you had a lot to say about vomiting. That's good. Good for the wet one. Guilty. You fell right into a wet trap. Ben went for drinking a dark chok mocha. I'm afraid that was the house. Well, I don't care.

It was good. That one fits. It really fits. Drinking a dark chok mocha. Drinking a dark chok mocha. Drinking a dog chug moka He did a whole song Yeah

Push and pull it out Drinking a dog chok mocha Sprinkle something on top Dr drinking a dog chok mocha Wait, what's their skin the color of Because that was already mocha Oh Was it really?

Okay Lips a devil red Add some cocoa Coca cola Now, I think that leaves just the correct one, which is phony calls, which Kersi got correct. Wow, thank you so much. It's an Andy Prankle song.

Yeah, yeah. I support it. It's a good one too. It's an underdog. Everyone's under the radar for me. Yeah. I didn't. It was a bit underdog.

It was a bit underdog. Like, it was a bit like, oh, yeah. Yeah. Is it quirky enough for weird out? Yeah, exactly. Yeah, exactly. So, it was an album track. I don't think it made it to single status. But going to the final round, the scores are Ben swinging in the house on three points

apiece, about in front on six points. It's Kirsty Webeck. Yeah, nice. But it's triple points final round. It's anyone's round. Still anyone's game. It's game. I'm going to read all the lyrics to that song in a second.

I haven't done that yet. I imagine they're going to be fantastic, though. They will be. And that's while you're writing the final answer. This question comes from. Jim Bates from Sacketts Harbor in New York. The question is, what is the synopsis of the 1994 film Funny Man? What is the synopsis of the 1994 film Funny Man?

So, Sweeney, this would be your longest answer, you know, four, five sentences, something like that, a paragraph. Yeah. While they're writing their answers, here are the lyrics to phony calls. Mom and Dad are going out for the evening, and you're stuck inside the house all alone. That's when you decided it might be fun to harass someone. Dial a random number up on your telephone. You ask if the refrigerator is running. Then you tell them they should go out and catch it.

Buddy, if they ever figured out where you were calling them from, they'd come and bust your head right in with a ratchet. Listen to me, don't go making phony calls. Please stick to the seven-digit numbers you used to. It's good. I know that you think it's funny driving folks right up the wall, but it's really getting old fast. That's good.

Little Melvin has a natural obsession asking for a Prince Albert in a can. He gets a kick each time he makes a collect call to some guy he doesn't even know who lives in Japan. He's calling strangers up at three in the morning, gives him pizza pie delivery at four. He won't be laughing when they're tracing his line. One day, the phone police will be there at his door. Yo, hear me. Don't go making phony calls.

Only dial the seven-digit numbers you use to. Swear someday I'm going to yank that phone cord right out from the wall. How long is this phase going to last? Sorry, I can't concentrate because I'm too busy listening to this. Okay. John, I'll cut it out. No, that's fine. That's not.

I think that's probably enough. No, I'm just too engrossed in it. That's what I'm so good. It wasn't a complaint. I'm just too in it. How long is this phase going to last? Come on, Mo's bar. What'll you eat, beat or drink?

Uh, yeah, hello? Is Mike there? Last name Roach? Hold on, I'll check. Mike Roach. Mike Roach. Hey, has anybody seen Mike Roach lately? Listen to me, you little puke.

One of these days, I'm going to catch you. And I'm going to carve my name. On your back with an ice pick. Don't go making phony calls. Please stick to the seven-digit numbers you used to. You went through the New York City phone book and prank called them all. Hope that you grow out of this fast. Don't go making phony calls.

Please stick to the seven-digit numbers you used to. Bet you think it's funny when you're driving folks right up the wall But you're just a pain in the air Oh cuts off on ass there which is a classy move From Big Alistair there All right the answer is for the final question What is the synopsis of the 1994 film Funny Man It's worth triple points

Still truly anyone's game Wow Here your options After he bombs horribly in front of an influential Los Vegas audience that includes his comedy his comedy hero Jerry Lewis, aspiring comedian Tommy Tushos

returns to his childhood home of Gary, Indiana to find inspiration. There things take a turn for the worst when he inadvertently falls a bank robbery. Will Tommy live long enough to turn this into a tight five? It's option one, option two. Aidan Quinn stars

in the heartbreaking drama of Funny Man. A children's party clown grappling with the childhood trauma of losing his mother to cancer turns to drinking. At an AA meeting, he meets Ellen, played by Mary Elizabeth Master Antonio, who shows him there's more to laugh than laughter. Option number three.

After exhausting, every other option to become a famous comedian, an underappreciated female writer, starts performing her sets as a man. Trouble arises when her long-lost TV producer boyfriend and comes back on the scene and casts her in his new show, not knowing her real identity. Option four.

After winning an English stately house in a game of poker, record producer Max Taylor finds it to be haunted by a demonic jester known as Funny Man. One by one, Max's family are targeted by the Funny Man with an imaginative repertoire of homicidal techniques and an irreverent sense of humour. Well, finally, Stephen Bates is tired of being trapped in the rat race.

He gets up every day his breakfast takes the kids to school and goes to work in a dead end job he hates. Trapped and desperate, he's immediately intrigued

when he sees a call out for a comedy competition with a huge prize. Does Stephen have what it takes to change the direction of his life? All right, Ben, what do you reckon?

What was the third one? Go, Ben. Third one was where a woman starts performing as a man. Yeah, yeah, yeah. For me, it's that one or the horror? The Staley House one. Yeah.

Yeah. Because they're usually things you don't expect with these sorts of things. Wow. Is funny man a bit obvious maybe? Could be. It's fun though. I want to watch it. it if it is regardless.

So I'm going to go. Ben, you can't watch it if it hasn't been. I want to watch it then. Someone needs to go back into the 90s. Someone needs to make it. Netflix, if you're listening, make that movie. Make that weird al album and make this movie. Yeah.

Big time. I'm going to go, can you read me the horror one? Yes. After winning an English stately house, a game of poker, record producer Max Taylor finds it to be haunted by a demonic jester known as funny man. One by one, Max's family are targeted by the funny man with an imaginative repertoire of homicidal techniques and a reverent sense of humour. So, yeah, to me, the one thing that goes off of the lady dressing up as a man one is that it's 9095. I don't know if that's

really the genre, like, because you've got that 90, or it's like maybe an 80s film with that Tom Hanks about stand-up comedy. Oh. And it's like they have lockers and stuff. Oh, yeah. And the showers after the gig. Wait, what? Yeah, it's sick.

It's like... I haven't seen that. I forgot what the name is. Yeah. That's what our comedy scene's missing. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, we've got his...

A locker room. Oh, we've got his... It's like... It's like... It's like... It's like... What the hell? And the stand-up is real bad.

It's like, clearly made by someone that's maybe seen stand-up comedy once. Whoa. It's very good. It's like... It's like... Punching like hackers. Huckers.

Hackers richland. It's real good. Yeah. It's sort of the firewall. So I go for like my, this, I'm just sharing my strategy. I go for a time period. What was kind of the movies at that time? Baithoven.

His name, his character's name is Stephen Gold. Yeah. That's so good. 95. Is it we're living in a post-Forest gum world. Oh. Yeah. be about, it's 94, but when do Forrest Gump come out?

94? So we live in, okay, so it's out at the same time. Yeah, right. But I don't think this was as big. No. Forest Gump changed. Change everything. Yeah.

Forrest Gump was a real funny man. Yeah. I think we can all agree. Yeah. Can we answer that instead? A secret seventh option. So my reason for not going comedy is, so it could be, it's either the drama, yeah, sorry, I'm really, I'm really going to try and show my work for this. I'm showing my, I'm really showing, yeah, I'm putting my cards out on the table.

Yeah, it's actually really fascinating. Yeah, hopefully it goes through a few more minutes. We don't have lives or things to get back to. Yeah. I do. I do have an appointment in 90 minutes. It's interesting about appointments that you've got to get to because, you know, sometimes you've got to.

It's around the corner and you still might not make it. And sometimes you've got to be places, you know. And that's what gets me thinking about like, what sort of appointments do I get? Yeah. And what do the appointments had in the 90s? Yeah. Sweeney, do you want to lock something in while we're waiting?

Yeah. Yeah, I like the horror one, actually. Yeah. I do like the idea that funny man. is like a killer clown, but it was before killer clowns became like real big. Sick.

Yeah, we had a killer Carnes from outer space by then, I think, which is a classic kind of schlock. And I do like the idea that it's like, was it English? English mansion? Yeah. Yeah.

And the music exec, that's, this all screams of the era and of the genre. And I like that, hang on, could it be like an American family in like an old English mansion. Because I think that's very kitsch and 90s.

Super. I'm going to do that. All right. Locked in. Okay. I was getting there. Yeah, no, no, no, no. No, no, no.

Go. That's the reasoning of a man who's hungry. I would have gone to, I would have gone with funny men as well, but I've got some issues with the wording in the blur. Hang on. Yeah. I've got some,

there's been some red hearings. Okay. Some notes. Yeah. There's some issues with how the wording has happened in that blurb for me. Okay. When you say funny man, what are you, they're all called funny man. So, touch.

Oh, the horror. Oh my gosh. They are all called funny man. That's the whole point of the game. I'm the funny man. Wow. Okay. I'm going to go with the wettest option.

The wetter the better. It served you so well. Thank you. That means a lot. That actually means a lot of being coming from you. The wettest man I know. Really? You mean that?

I mean that. I don't know anyone wetter than you. I'm going to go with the woman dressed as a man. Yeah, it's a good option. So you've gone my two. It is the 90s. It is the 90s. That was big in the 90s.

I think they love a. bit of a Because we had a Mrs. Doubtfire was the 90s? Or was that like... Because it wasn't until we get closer to the 2000s that we get,

she's the man and things like that. Yeah. So this would have been a stepping stone. Yeah, that really changed cinema. Amanda Bynes. Yes. She changed the landscape completely.

Completely changed the landscape. Gave me permission to wear a trouser actually. Really? That's when you got in a pants. Thank you. Man of Bond. What was the wording on the horror that you don't like? I don't like English stately.

I don't like how it switches to calling him the funny man. Oh, okay. Rather than just funny man. You could have like The Slender Man. No. You don't like that? No, yeah. You don't like the word the.

Well, it doesn't, you can't change the syntax like that when it's the name of the. like in the social network. The Facebook. Okay. What? Oh, okay. That wasn't a great example. I'm going to make a quick,

phony call to Justin Timberlake. I don't know that strength of your argument, actually. He wanted to call it, he wanted to call it stately book. Yeah. What? Anyway. Ben,

what are you locking in? Listen, I was all on the horror, but this has changed the game. Yeah, the syntax is really, the syntax is fucked you. Syntax.

I'm glad. I took my time and everyone annoyed at me. I don't think they cared about syntax in the 90s though. They cared about, I mean, it was a different time. It was pre-9-11. It was pre-English. Like these blurbs aren't necessarily, you know, like, written by the director. You know, yeah.

If they're not written by the director, it means they're written by the house or the person who suggested the question or... Yeah, maybe they just watch the movie and go, oh, bang out what this one. was about. Well, that's silly. Yeah, you're right. All right.

It's Kirsty's. We are waiting on Ben. I'll go, Kirsties. I'm going to piggyback. You're also, you're going, um... Those were my two options, and I was leaning towards a horror, but then the syntax arguments really fucked me up. Okay.

And so now, um... Syntax doesn't worry me, actually. I'm not a... I'm absolutely reeling from the syntax. Syntaxes sent him into a death spiral. All right. I don't wake up in a cold sweat in the middle of an accident. The one about the first one where the guy bombs horribly in Vegas in front of Jerry Lewis,

that was written by Jim, the question writer, aka the house. Not bad, Jim. A bit too close to the Robert De Niro. Yeah. Raked of Robert De Niro to me. What's that movie called with Robert De Niro and Jerry Lewis? A comedian in it, doesn't it? Yeah, the comedian, that's what it is.

The comedian. It's really hiding in plain sight kind of name. Yeah, the comedian. It's real good. It's a really good movie. See, that sounds like a horror movie. It is. It's really fucking great. I would recommend it.

The one about Aiden Quinn, playing a children's party clown. To be honest, I was so enamored that I remembered who Aiden Quinn was, that I was like, I've got to put him in. And then I didn't plan the rest. and Mary and Elizabeth Master Antonio Those are two core 90s actors I don't know

I don't know I'd sound like I think he's accidentally put in too many names in this name I think I did too But I was just in that You're in a flow state Where you were just going through

The 90s baby book Yeah And just adding them into it Quinn is such a great He's such a night I've just looked up I don't recognise the name Mary Elizabeth

January Master Antonio Is that people normally Also the abyss Oh my god Oh yeah the abyss Yeah People normally name drop to impress people being like, oh, I know this person, but you're just name dropping people you wish you knew.

No, I'm just letting everyone know how old I am. And how okay you are with that. And how much of a 90-synophile I am. He's an elder millennial. That's right. The one about Stephen Bates being trapped in the rat race, that was Kirsty. Yeah. Did you realise that the question writer's surname was also Bates?

I'm like, I reckon I like I like I've taken inspiration there. No, it must have been very subconscious but I'm glad that I gave you something to enjoy. You're just thinking about your appointment. Yeah. Now, Percy and Ben both went for the female rider.

That was Sweeney. Oh, what the hell? And Sweeney went for the horror about the English stately house and that is correct. Oh, my God. Oh my God. The syntax fucked me. It was poorly written in.

You got inside my head. I told you that you didn't care about sin. It was the name. It was so close. That didn't give a shit. It was. It should have been in a stately English house, not an English stately house. Yeah, well, you fucked me there.

I love how angry Ben is at me. I'm furious. I'm trying to convince anyone. You did. You said, Ben, choose this one. I'm right. I didn't say that. Do you know any of these names?

Pauline Black, Benny Young, Tim James, it's English. The big one, Christopher Lee. Oh, yeah. Oh, Christopher Lee, yes. Yeah. So it doesn't have enough ratings on Rotten Tomatoes have a critic score, but the audience rated at 52%. One of the positive-ish reviews reads in part by Felix Vasquez Jr.

I wasn't so much entertained as I was genuinely baffled most of the time. Some people seem to love it. The syntax was all wrong. And it is baffling. All right, final score check in equal third place on three points apiece. It's been in the house. In second place on six points, it's Kirsty. But leaping to it.

The comeback kid. On 12 points, first time in the game. First time winner, Sweeney. Thank you. I just quickly say, firstly, well done, Sweeney. And secondly, you're a dirty dog. Thank you. What can I say, Kirsty?

I care about syntax. don't. Sorry, that's really come up trumps for me to that. You don't care about it. You don't care about it. You couldn't care less. Yeah, well, I care about it.

Actually, how much I don't care about it has made me care about it now. You don't care about syntax at all. You don't care about anything, mate. You have a cavalier attitude towards syntax. Yeah, you don't care about anything for any. How much I don't give a shit about it is really made me appreciate it. You don't care about anything other than Chick-fil-A. And winning.

And winning. This might be the longest episode we've ever done. Oh, my gosh. And which means there'll be so many outtakes to the listeners. you want to keep this thing after the song, I reckon this could be a long one. But before we get there, Sweeney, where can people find you in the year 2026? Good, hey. If I'm on Instagram at Sweeney Preston, I'll be in the Adelaide Fringe, the Melbourne International Comedy Festival. And I'm going to Florida and North Carolina to do the comedy wine tasting show Import Taste.

Love America. Yeah, loves America. Love it. A chick filet. It's good that we cut out all that stuff that you said about the current regime. I've already got my visa. Who cares? It does not matter. Love Chick-fil-A. Love it. How about you, Kirsty?

No, I don't love Chick-fil-A. I do love comedy. I am at Kirsty Webeck on the socials. You said at the beginning that I have a YouTube special at the moment. I do. It's called Everything I Need to Say About Secretches. Please have a look at it. Also, I'm touring a show across Australia and New Zealand next year

called Lost For Words, which I, of course, am not. But yeah, see you at the show. Thank you and thanks for having me, Matt. Hey, thanks for being here. My pleasure. And Ben? Check me out on I'm Ben Russell on Instagram. Also, I've got a web series called Gert, which is real stupid.

And you can see stuff on Grouse House that's coming out in the next year as well. Awesome. God bless you, Ben. Me and Stran Giamano are doing a split bill show in Adelaide and Melbourne and some of the other festivals you can find out info, Matt Stewartcomedy. Thanks for watching us. And cheers to everyone for listening back in home.

Give us a five-star review. Why not? Maybe tell your friends if you know someone who might enjoy it. But anyway, cheers for tuning in to Who New with Matt Stewart. Now that you know it, I've been Matt Stewart. Goodbye. That's why. That groan just there.

That's a sigh. Oh, there's a difference. What would you say it's grown is? Where is this? Give me the sigh again. A bit more breathy. It's more. Gangnam style.

You can't, are you having trouble, differentiate between you two? This is such grown-worthy gear right here. It's cringe, that's what it is. Does the cringe also have a reaction like that? No, totally different. So it's a cringe is more internal, is it? No, it's facial, it's non-verbal. It's not on voice.

Give us a cringe face. Oof, I felt that. Did you feel that? Yeah, I feel cringe. Now, Sweeney, what was your story about Maggie's speech? Speaking. Maggie got given her first lines speaking, not cocaine, in The Simpsons the other day. And it's so trippy because in the scene, Bart's going out to drive his car somewhere.

And then Maggie's first. What? It's in the future. It's in the future. Yeah. So he's wearing a cool jacket. Okay. Well, that's a signifying the future.

And then Marge tries to shush Maggie. She's like, oh, don't, you know, don't speak. You've got a sore throat. And then Maggie sort of does it anyway And then rattles off a couple of lines And it is the trippiest shit ever It's really weird She just looks like Lisa

Yeah, big time Yeah Yeah, it's almost like they're related or something I think it's probably the same drawerer It's fucked, it's fucked man Dragon is yeah Probably it was the same drawer Yeah I reckon they

It was mandated It's not okay Just do it just draw a little Lisa It'd like take Lisa Make her small Oh Oh, that makes sense to me. To signify that they're siblings.

Would you guys like air conditioning on? I think so. I think so as well. I mean, as much as I'd love this to be my final resting place. It's like getting married. Actually, can we turn that off? That's disturbing. I died in a podcast here.

Yeah, I'll just take the hat off. She died doing what she loved. I think either way there's... Is that like meant to make us look good on the cameras? You're going to need more than that, mate. I don't sleep very much. What the hell? Why'd you throw this at me?

How violent. Does that do lights as well? No, that's just the air con, sorry. Just thought in case the, you know, you're in the center of the room, maybe you... I could be in charge. You could be in charge. Yeah, you're the canary and call mine. If you think that's too much pressure...

No, I think I'm in charge because I'm the only one capable of such a responsibility. Do I need headphones? Uh You don't Need them But you can definitely Have them If you're

Yeah Well whack them on Oh wait up What's happened here There's not Because I took these ones From here What the shit

Have I stolen Sweenny's headphones You may have Wait hang on Yeah But they were here But they were here Yeah that's weird

I'm not Just probably hung up Oh Do you grab from And they're called Cairns Dude Shut up mate

Oh mine Mine's It tastes like Kirstie Weber back now. Cairns is in Queensland, twat. No, that's Cairns.

No. That's Cairns. Cairns. Shit. There is like a... Wait, hang on. What's this? What the...

Wait, now, I think Ben's got your one. Ben! Oh my God, Ben. You can have mine. There you go. I'll take those back off. Thanks, mate. So I'm so sorry about Ben.

I don't need them because I'm a fucking professional. Professional what? Cunt. I get a stipend for being a cunt. No, I'm good. Yeah, that's much better. Christ almighty.

How do I sound? You sound lovely. I'm worried about how this pod's going to go today. It's an absolute chaos at the top. Yeah, it's not been the best start, has it? No, it's been absolutely... Really sorry about it. You brought in a weird energy, Matt.

You brought in a weird energy. It's because you shaved your hair. Yeah, I know, it's a fucking was a mistake. It's the elephant in the room, isn't it? Yeah, I'm glad I brought it up now. Now I look like, buddy. I don't know what else. I'm trying to look like Sweeney.

And, uh, you got a nice mustache. Not pulling it off. No, you're not pulling it off. God damn it. Trying too hard. That's okay. Sweeney hasn't played before. Do you have any questions?

I listen to a couple of them. Oh. That's probably everything you need to know. Fake definitions. Yeah, and you just sent them to me via one of the social messages. Have you a message me? He's done some homework. Yeah.

That's professional. Do you know what I did, Tracy? I listened to your episode. Oh, mate, I wouldn't have done that. And now I know how to play even less. I'm convinced I'm going to tank because of it. Well, yeah, you'll be equal with Kirsty there. How dare you?

It does feel like a team's situation. here doesn't it that's two versus you too with the Oh yeah How well Yeah you should Costumes

costumes I dressed up did you You're not gonna win Ben Yeah Ben can you Try to not be a bully for a little bit Ben is their Uh show's resident villain

I'm not I had a redemption arm And now I don't know What I'm doing Well you I don't think It's a blue sky It's a blue sky

Out there You know Oh yeah Oh, yeah, okay. Yeah, no. Roll up. It's given me a bit of clarity, that's for sure. Oh, my God.

Is this being filmed? Yes. No. Is it? Well, talk and see if that goes red. Yeah, it's not going red. And also there's worms on the screen. Oh, that's red.

Oh, that's red. That one's red, but this one's, Didn't go red. No, that one didn't go red. Can you talk, Ben? Hello? I'm Ben. It doesn't matter.

My guy doesn't use the automatic switch anyway. I just remembered. How do you know it's recording, though? Um, over here. I liked how your reasoning was that there's worms on the screen. Yeah. I was like the colourful worms on the screen. I thought you were being like, you're sort of doing something surreal or whatever.

You were just literally talking about these. I thought you were saying you could see worms on the lens. Worms are some of the most productive animals in our ecosystem. They're probably editing the videos. They would be. If you chop them in half, you get two editors. Yeah, that's great. That's disgusting, Matthew.

And it's not true, is it? Well, they're dead, aren't they? Yeah. Well, I think one of, anyway, whatever. Are we good to go? Nobody knows. I'm good. I'd love to go.

I mean, up, but can we do the show first? I'll go after. I'll go after we record. Okay, pretty. I might go during. I got lots of stuff. Stuff that you guys haven't even heard of. Right.

Yeah, like, like I'm sitting... Yeah. Just a huge amount. Like, it's just crazy. Like, you wouldn't... I haven't heard about it. I'm just go, go, go, go, go.

That must weigh heavily. Yeah, it's crazy. It's absolutely insane. Like, sometimes I'll just, like... Like, yesterday I didn't even put pants on the whole day. Yeah, just wondering. and ran in the undies. People don't realize how taxing it is to be pantless.

It's fucking tough being me. And I'm the real hero, I think, out of everyone. Well, can I speak on behalf of the group when I say we're all very proud of you? Yeah, you can, have you guys thanked me for my service? No, I might later on the other side of us. Yeah, I'd appreciate that. Yeah, we'll work on something heartfelt and meaningful. Yeah, that'd be nice.

It'll be from all of us, though. You haven't said that. The broader community. It'll be from the broader community. It'll be from the broader community. They say, not just the people in this room, right? Like first responders, they're the real heroes. Like, I met a wonderful fireman the other day when the building was on fire.

Right. Not this building, but the one next to it. There was, yeah, that's right. I saw a video. How about that? Yeah, it's good. I left just before that fire. Oh.

Coincidence? Very suspect. Very suspect. But I was like, hey, and he said, hey, actually, you're the real hero. Really? He said, thank you so much. Fireman. said that.

Yeah. That's amazing. Was that related to the pants off thing or it's something different? Thank to, because I started it. That's why you took your pants off. Yeah. Because you, because you're a liar. Did he, do you let you slide down the pole?

He let me slide down a pole. Fly, hey. Wow. I think I do. I think I do. I know what I mean. I for one, am lost. I need some extra explanation.

You can't. Part of the mystery is what is what's, so intriguing about Ben Russell, the Ben Russell mythos. Yeah. I'm aloof. Yeah. I'm a closed book. I'm a closed book with no pants on.

Yeah. How would a book wear pants? They wear jackets, aren't I? So I guess. Yeah, they don't need to wear pants. Yeah, they wear a jacket. Do the Winnie the poo thing. Yeah, they're not only, don't they?

Yeah, the Humphrey Bay Bear. Yes. Of the shelf. That's right. Is there a bear that wears pants? Uh, pants wearing bear Wow Solving the big problems today

Rupert bear maybe I think Where's pants? Does Paddington? Does Paddington's got his pants on? Pattington's a jacket, man He's got a jacket Oh no pants But it's quite a long jacket

Isn't it? It almost descends into pant territory I want a bear With a short skirt and a long jacket Yeah I mean Very cakeish What are pants

You know? That's fucking true They're the gloves of the Don't ask this They're gloves of the legs. That's what they are. They are. In Paddington's world, they mean jocks, which makes you think as well.

In the UK, that is true. That's weird. That's weird. I hate, English people suck for that reason. Just for that reason. Just for that reason. That's the only thing. Other than that, they actually love it.

If they cut that out. If they cut that out, then I'd be like, I'd move over there in a heart. Yeah. It's just thousands and thousands of years of pant wearing. that's really gotten you. And they're unwilling to change. No, they just won't change. They won't say it.

They say underpants, mate. Yeah. Yeah. They're not the pants. No, they can't be the pants. Yeah, not the only one. It's underpants.

Yeah. Where do you wear them? Under your pants. Yeah. It's pretty straightforward, isn't it? Yeah. They even read of the language and they get it so wrong.

You can shorten that to undies or even better panties. Oh, wow. I hope England is listening to this because it's, It's time for change. Yeah. Maybe the Queen's listening and she can just bring about change herself. Somewhere. Isn't she?

No. I wonder if she's in a bunker somewhere. I can call on the world's economy. Yeah. Right. I think that's, yeah, just getting her jeans. It's another kind of pants, I suppose. I suppose.

No, I suppose. They definitely are. Anyway, she's going to procreate another, you know, another great generation. God. I hope the Queen's fucking. up in heaven. Yeah. I hope she's getting it.

Which is what she's called the bunker. Yeah. It's her pussy palace. How different would heaven be for the queen, really? Because she had a cracker of alive. Like if she went to heaven, what would be new really? True. You think every moment that Queen was alive was absolute heaven on earth?

Did you see where she lived? Do you, are you insinuating that her corgis never shut in the hallway, Tweney? Someone else puts her up. I reckon they could have. never alerted her to that fact. I reckon as far as she was concerned, her corgis never took a shit in their life. Do you reckon her corgis never did a poo in front of her? In front of her.

I reckon they would have had the sort of awareness to be like, whoa, Lizzie's nearby, hold it in boys. You could just do a curtsey beforehand if you're a corgi. That's how I'd handle myself. The best thing about owning a dog is just watching it, take a shit. You know, he's watching that awkward, watching them look at you like, this is the first time they've ever taken every time it's the first time

through her own. Yeah, staring you dead in the eyes. What's happening? Yeah, the intensity she missed out on all that. What's new? Maybe that's what she'll have in heaven. It'll just be non-stop dog shit in front of her.

Yeah, because she would have never had to do any of the tasks normally associated with her. So for her, that's the dream. That's the heaven. She would have wanted to see it. Maybe heaven for her is just living a normal life where she has to pick up shit. And she goes, wow, this is what everyone was doing.

whole time. It's nice to experience something fresh. I think this is almost definitely what's happened. All right. I don't know, Corgi's are just doing shits together, bonding. I think that's really beautiful. There's AI that you can use to do that. Yeah. To have Corgi's shooting. Yeah, you can create a video of the Queen taking a dump. What are we all still doing here, guys? I've already, I've got, I've made millions of them. Really? Yeah, I've just made, just crank out. Queen taking a thumb. Yeah. And just put them out on the incident.

People think they're real. Oh. Yeah. You made the code behind it, didn't it? I did. I did. Yeah. Yeah, I made the muddling.

Right. So, yeah, it wasn't like, oh, I want to see the queen's shitting. You were doing zeros and ones. Been the change you want to see in the world. Zero and ones for ones and two. That's all it is. That's all it is. That's all it is.

Should we, should we, should we, boil it down? Should we wrap it up right there? Well, I feel. That was an out. We've got many outs there. Yeah. 25 outs.

Well, Ben's is the answer that goes for three and a half hours. No, he's doing a second draft. Are you doing it? Second draft, Kirsty. I'm doing it. This is the kind of hustle that makes him the villain, but a very successful villain. Is he? Yeah, you should see him out there.

His grind ethic, ethic. Ethicate? Ethic. Ethic. And also, I thought you said grinder to begin with. And I was like, wow. A lot is being divulged today. Sorry, I've overshared for you on your behalf, Ben.

I do apologize for that. Never mind. I love, I love it. Yeah, you love it. I absolutely adore it. Okay. I'm ready. You're in.

Oh, don't. Yum. What are you going to do? Oh. Throat you with that microphone. I dare you. Yeah, that's a threat. Do it.

What is throting? Like, well, I don't think it's a thing, but when I said it, what I was imagining was getting the microphone and just going, you're right, straight in your throat. Huh.

Which would be so impressive, given the width of this microphone in particular. I mean, I don't, I wasn't intending to, for it to be lodged in the throat. Just like a throat punch with the microphone. Oh,

right. Okay. Outside of that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I wasn't going into turn. Yeah, I think so next time you get a throat punch me with that microphone

would be clearer. Well, I've coined a new term, which this game is all about. That's true. Then, didn't you have a redemption arc? It feels like you're still in a villain era. I feel like we've come full circle, mate. I haven't slept very much today. We've all got excuses.

That's his villain origin story is. Didn't have a night's sleep. Didn't have a good night's sleep. We've all got excuses, don't me. All right, the answer is. It's all it takes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a bloody dream.

That's the dream, all right? No, that is the dream. It's to have a full. I love it. of emails. Yeah? Yeah. Do you get on there much?

Do you know that email stands for, the E stands for electronic? Oh. I'd like to lock in option B. Echidna. Echidna mail. Ekinna male. I reckon that's what it... Can you just stop joking around for one second?

Do you ever turn off? Can you stop making up this silly buggers for once in your life? and be real when it comes to emails. There's no jakes, joking, there's no time for japs and jibs when it comes to email. It's not called J-mail. J-mail. That's what the J-Stands for there. Maybe in Japan?

Japan-Mail. Japan-Mail. Grow up, sweetie. Like they got J-pop, K-pop, K-Mail. They don't have a male. They don't have mail over there. None at all. Too many.

It's too populated. More like J-female, am I right? It's too big. Yes, the two-jester. That's true. That's actually true. Wow. You made me think there.

Are you actually? I am. What do you do as part of that? All sorts of things. Well, in, what? What's the word that I'm looking? What's the word I'm looking for? The thing that is coming up that I'm,

I'm doing for them is I'm doing a stand-up set about sea creatures at an event that they are hosting in Sydney in January. Oh, they've delegated very well, haven't they? Yeah. Cursey, you're a comedian. Can you do comedy? And you've gone great. Yeah, I've gone, I can do that. Well, they try, you know, because a lot of their messaging is like, the oceans are warming up and everyone's dying. I don't know if that's true. Is there some sort of evidence you can provide us with Cursey? of evidence for that one actually. Release the data, please, Kirsta.

Matt, can you get up on the screen, please? I'd like to disagree with science, which is something that you can't actually do. Science doesn't work like that. What do you say? We can't ask questions anymore. Because we're un-democratic. They wanted to bring a bit of levity

to some of their messaging and their events and that sort of thing. So we're going to work on a bunch of things next year, like where, you know, incorporate a little bit humor into also telling people to like get the rubbish out of the oceans. Yeah. Turtles are being strangled. Yeah. They like that.

They're kinky. Hey, don't say stuff like that in front of the ambassador, please, Ben. They love it. They love getting strangled. Okay, before I lock my answer in, I'd just like Ben Russell to formally apologize. To whom? Me and the turtles and the Australian Marine Conservation Society. I have nothing.

I'd like to see some data on that one. You know, like, oh, you'd... Next thing you're going to say is that, you know, the overwhelming majority of all science data points to the globe. So, hang on, sorry, globe? Yeah, thank you. Globe? Thank you.

Matt, since this is your podcast, could you please give me permission to go straight in for Ben Russell's bracket? Yeah. Go on the bracket. Which bracket you're talking about? I'm going straight up the bracket right now. Right now. I apologize on his behalf.

Thanks, Matt. Matt Stewart. Crab eating frog. Yes. I think Matt Stewart needs more societies to advocate on his behalf. I, well, there's no one I'm surviving on the horse. Matt, do you identify as an amphibian? Yeah.

See? Yeah, pretty wet and moist. Bingo, I got it again. I'd say he's more slimy. I am... Oh, Ben. What? Kermit the Frog.

Oh. I'm Kermit D. Hi-hoo, it's Kermit D-Frog here. Kermit D-Frog, Sesame Street News. Miss Piggy. Oh. Kermy! Kermi!

I'll still the podcast as Kermit. The rest of the hour. That doesn't sound like Kermit. It's getting into Burt and any territory, isn't it? Yeah, that was... I don't think it was getting into Burton-Earney territory. I was like, what a Burton-Eernie doing in the studio? This is big from someone who's not yet done their voice.

I can't do Kermit. But that would be funnier, wouldn't it? But I can do, I can do Eric Carpman. That doesn't sound like carbon at a wall. Screw you guys, I'm going home. Screw you guys, I'm going home. You guys I'm doing

Her Guy Cursey, you killed Kenny Nicky's a bad Kelly Huh Alright question three Kenny You're legness bastard

You Your whole head Your whole head Changes Kirstie You look like a different person Where did you do a comment? He does anger and him.

Oh, sorry for becoming Eric Cartman. You know Kristen Stewart the other day was talking about how no woman has ever gone method in the acting world? You guys seen this clip? I feel like we've just seen our first. I think Kirstie Webeck, has anyone got Kristen Stewart's number?

Because we've got a live one, boys. Finally, we're going to show her. The truth. There's this Melbourne comedian, big in the inner north. You're going to love it. She's got the Eric Cartman that could win an Oscar, I'm telling you. If you showed the footage, people would just be like, but that's just it. That's Eric Cartman.

Yeah, yeah. It's not Eric Cartman just appeared in the room. How does she go 2D like that? If there's a stage adaptation of South Park, I'm going to nominate you to order. audition. That's how it works too. You've got a nominate.

It's like nominations to audition. It's like, it's like nominations to audition are. It's like putting your friend up to go on like maths or something. Like you submit there. Yeah. That's what I'm going to do for you. Thanks,

I really appreciate that. That's what friends do. My big break. That's what colleagues do. All right. Question three. This one's tricky. That does not sound like that.

It's a great voice. I was being the villain. Hello, I was being the villain. That was great villain. It sounded like Cartman got diagnosed with stage four lung cancer. Cartman currently has emphysema. I'm my God, you guys. Oh my God, Kenny's dead.

Pens down. Pets down. Eyes on me. That wasn't Cartman. Who was that? That was my year three teacher. Mrs. Mrs. Cartman.

Cartwoman. Cartwheel. Cartwheel. That's Eric Cartman's snoring. I'll stop. No, no, here's what we'll do. We'll do the rest of the pod. You keep doing that.

Like a metronome just keeps the time. It was very rhythmic. I thought it was oddly relaxing. Yeah. I think it like triggered my vagus nerve Because I feel really serene, which is unusual for me when I'm sitting next to Ben Russell. You know what they say? What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas?

Neds. Oh. Weirdly, I think that could be white noise to make someone else go to sleep. I and me. Brown noise. You and me both. Yeah, I think that's close to brown noise. Like a brown noise.

That's a brown noise. Sorry. Gimley, Jimley. Gimley With a G With a G, G-I-M-L-I Gimley See the little

And my axe go Mm-hmm And my axe I'm gonna throat you With my axe While you're writing But what if Gimley was cut But

I said The one ring So you know how you read that thing out About With that Like that crass wording Yes That Josh

said with all due respect. Yeah, yeah. Where'd that wording come from? From Josh. Oh, interesting. Interesting, Josh. Well, Josh has a lot to apologize for. Oh, six.

She doesn't respect, Josh. Did you see, you're sad in Oregon that could be like a character from the Blinky Bill universe. It's something that I really don't like. You're like one of the bad guys from the Blinky Bill universe. Sorry. It's like. You know how I said panties earlier on?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, panties or moist. What? Yeah, it's gross. I don't know, it just, it's revolting. It's a revolting voice. It's like claws on the blackboard. Do it again.

Do it again. I'm not going to do it again. No, do it again. I want to feel it. I want to feel something. I want to feel it. I'm not going to feel it again. I can't believe you're lashing out.

No, just. I'm not lashing out. I'm being open. I'm being vulnerable. I said, scared you guys. I can hear. There's something about it.

No, it wasn't that one. It was like the more raspy one. I wasn't trying to be raspy though. Yeah, I don't know what happened. I know, but it's lightning at a bottle.

Is it? Yeah. I think it was when you went off script, maybe. It was that when you're trying to do Cartman, yeah, it's like that. Don't say trying to do Cartman.

When you're doing Carpman. Thanks, Matt. When you're trying, when you're attempting to do Carpman. Oh my. My lord. Have some respect for the South Park. Do you send yours through, Sweeney?

Oh. You did? Uh, yes, I did send mine. Sorry, but only just popped through. Good grief. Wow, we're in break, so I think that's... Yack. Yeah, it's that one.

That's it. Yeah, it's like, uh... It's a clap fart. Were you in Australia when there was a kid show where it was just a woman without a face, but just her eyes... Molligrub. Molligrubs. Is it a bit mumbus?

Bali grubby? No, she was like... Hello? And it was like pitched up. And also like the mouth was too like... Yeah, we, I don't think any... None of my, like, because that is of my generation. And most people weren't allowed to watch that show because it was too...

Freaked out the parents. Yeah, they freaked out the parents. I was allowed to watch it. Your parents didn't love you. Yeah, you turned out fine. That's a key indicator that you had a bad... childhood. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You're allowed to watch mulligrubs. Yeah, that's valid. You got trauma, dude. Yeah, yeah, yeah, just from that blue face and the wet tongue. It's so. Like the tongue was just, like, why was the tongue so prevalent? Hmm. I guess she didn't have a lot to work with it because they weren't allowing her any normal

facial expressions. So she had to really let the tongue get to work. Yeah, but you don't have to let the tongue get to work. Like you can just, you know, You can just You can use your neck. Yeah. Just lock in.

Flare your nostrils. Yeah. It's not tongue, tongue, tongue. No, that's true. That's a lesson for everyone out there. Yeah. Well, yeah, tongue, tongue, tongue.

We're not in tongue town. Yeah, get a finger in there. Yeah. For God's sake. All right. Yeah, because he was all like seniors too much. It wouldn't be senior. It wouldn't be senior.

It wouldn't be, and you ruled out. Not in that universe. It'd be like the elder. Oh, wow. Well, Kirsty, you can do another impersonation. Carpman and Sweeney. The only two impersonations I can do are Cartman and Swinney. Yeah.

Wait, what do I sound like? In that universe. In that universe, it wouldn't be. senior to be the elder. Dude, you just got fucking grossed. It's a little carpany, I'll be honest. It's a little bit carpment.

They're more a little bit of carpal. Are you a little carpman? Then you are a little carpman. And yeah. I'm going to... Can you just read them out again? Fifth, Rantzreel, Griebis, Gimley Senior,

groin, gumbish, giblets the elder. Let's, uh, wrap this up. Ah! Too soon? No, I think it's... No, it's the perfect time, actually. Yep.

Lesson to me. Let's do this. Let's go, girls. Bown, bough, bavav, bough, bough, bough, bough, w'w. Um, I do know, Edward. Yes. You're right, a huge supporter of comedy. He's a gun.

Edward, I don't what, without having his name in front of me. G. Right. I thought it'd be. Oh, wait, what? He's a G. Is what he saying? The first letter of...

I thought he's the same as... Or something, no. Oh, yeah, it's a different one. Whoops. Well. We'll edit that out. It would seem that I cooked that. Oh, no, edit that out, because Kersie really just...

Throated Edward. I docks him. You docks him right up. Right up the bracket. Right up the bracket. Speaking of brackets. How you going, Ben? I'm a little sleep deprived.

Oh. Does a bee in Ben... It's silent. The bee is silent. Does it stand for bracket? No, I said the bee is silent in Ben. It's actually... It's supposed to say it's supposed to be enjuman.

Engineman. Engineman. That's why I loves trines. Engine man. A little engine man. Engineman. Engerman Russell. Engerman Russell.

Call me N. Hi, N. My nickname in school is the N word. Oh, no. Yeah. Oh, no. But spelled E.N. Oh.

Oh. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. You know,