Who Knew It with Matt Stewart - 177 - Grace Jarvis, Faizan Shah and Prue Blake

Episode Date: February 2, 2026

Who Knew It with Matt Stewart is a comedy game show podcast hosted by Australian comedian Matt Stewart. Episode 177 features comedians Grace Jarvis, Faizan Shah and Prue Blake!This episode was recorded live at the Frog and Bucket in Manchester, England!Support the show via http://patreon.com/dogoonpod and you can submit questions for the show!Check out Matt's new stand up special: https://youtu.be/ZgukEPerWZc?si=SW8PttGAB-ly_GF8And his last stand up special: https://youtu.be/cWStRpI-BhESee the podcast/Matt live: https://www.mattstewartcomedy.com/Check out Matt's podcast network: https://dogoonpod.com/Theme song by Evan Munro-Smith, Logo by Murray Summerville and edited by Connor Schmidt! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey, mate, it's just Matt here. The titular one, that's right. In 2026, I'm doing new stand-up shows with great friend of the show, Seren Gai Amarna, at the Adelaide Fringe at the Rhino Room, March 3rd to 9th, and doing a live who knew it with Matt Stewart. While we're there, Saturday, March the 7th, also at the Rhino Room. And if you're in Melbourne, we're also coming to the Cooper's Inn for the Melbourne International Comedy Festival from April 7th to 19th. You can find out details for all these shows that Matt Stewart Comedy.com. While you're there, please sign up to my mailing list. I'd love to not be relying on social media to let you know about things. And I promise I won't spam you. Just every now and then, I'll send out an email with some info that I think you'd like to know. Anyway, let's get on with the show. Welcome to Who New with Matt Stewart, the show where the guest write the wrong answers.

I'm the titular Matt Stewart. And my co-host tonight is Aussie comedian now based in Edinburgh. It's Prue Blake. Oh, thank you. I did dress for the role of sidekick. I noticed just as I was heading out today that I put underwear over the top of my tights. The perfect sidekick apparel.

That looks incredible. Incredibles. Incredibles. A bit of fun. Holy jeepies, Matt Stewart. Pretty good. And now you are, so you're British now. Is that right?

Oh, no, not yet. It's Scottish at the very... Yeah, thank you. Why Scottish people don't claim Britishness? I don't think so. I do not think so, make sure. Well, they had a vote for it and... We're not talking about that.

That was what the Scotland voted for. Were you booing me? Yes. They voted to remain. Unlike what you did. Anyway, let's not go back. I got everyone outside. I'm solidarity with Scotland.

As we voted not to have an Indigenous voice department. So we've all got problems. We've all got bad votes going on. I think we need a few more goes at voting. Yes. You have two practices. Can we wait for some people to die? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

You guys are all so much more informed than I am. I have no idea what you're talking about. Who are our guests tonight? I'm so glad to ask Matt Stewart. We have two incredible guests, as you can see. Our first guest is an Aussie comedian, now based in London, and apparently being claimed by New Zealand, it's Grace Jarvis. Hello.

All right. Now, do you think of yourself as British? I'd barely think of myself as Australian. Okay. I have a mouldy middle name. You try explaining that to the English. It's got a silent letter in it. They're like, we're lost.

You're white. What's going on? And Prue, our other guests. And our other guest, our second guess this week, was a finalist of the Beat the Frog World Series. final here at the frog and bucket, it's Faizan Shah. Yeah, I know you're wondering, I am British. We had to have at least one, and you're like not just British, you're Manchesterian.

Yeah, I think the technical term is Mancunian. Mancunian, the Mancunian candidate. I don't know what... I don't know that's a reference to something. I'm not sure. I'm not sure what, but... Was it clever? Yeah.

Okay, great. I'm loving that we're getting someone doing their hair in the front. Oh. Yeah, looking good. Keep it combed. I tell you what, pro, I'm pretty sure they were hoping to be noticed doing. I think so. Okay, you don't pull out a comb 10 minutes into a live podcast recording

if you don't want to be on the tape. All right, so this is how the show works. Ask a relatively obscure trivia question. Our contestants, after I are convincing fake. I then read their answers as well as the real one. I have to guess which one is correct. And the first question comes from listener, Josh from Harmon Garland, Texas, or TX.

That might stand for something else. Should have checked. Josh's question is, what is the definition of a vampire load? What is the definition of a vampire load? Okay, now while Grace and Fazana writing their answers, I'm going to let the audience know. Has anyone here not heard the show before, by the way? Yeah, well.

That's a tiny little woo. You thought that'd be, yeah, you were hoping that others would cover you. But no, your little mousy woo stood out. Woo-hoo. Well, I'll explain. Did you what your name, wooer? Mark, why are you here, Mark? Oh, yeah.

No, I didn't mean to... I just mean, like, it's just an interesting thing. to just wander into, but you've got, you do have two friends. Four, okay. Whoa. Put that on the record. Pologies. I don't know.

Yeah, well, I'd hate to break it to you. I've seen how one of them's looking at you, and it's not with friendly eyes. Anyway, Mark, you see how the scoring works. You get one point if your fake answer is guessed by the other contestant, and another point, if you correctly guess your answer, or the answer, I should say. By the way, I'm also playing as the house. and Mark, you're untainted, maybe you could be a big house fan. Regular listeners hate the house.

I don't know why. I've done nothing but love them. And I've put into my own fake answers for each question with the help of the question writers. So each of us can score up to two points per round, which seems fair, but the probability actually favours me, the house. Which is why our contestants have triple points in the final round, Mark, very important. I don't like winning, basically. Anyway, our questions come from our great Patreon support is if you want to submit a question

sign up on any of our patreon.com slash to go on pod linked in the show notes. Any patrons in? Mark, this is what you could be tomorrow. All right, it looks like the answers are in. Here is question number one. What is the definition of a vampire load? First option is semen may cupelaisus.

Option two Option two is a term for the missing items such as socks from your freshly washed laundry Option three, a paralytic venom dispensed by certain species of bats Option four post-phosectomy ejaculate Option five The Extra electricity that is consumed by unused

appliances that are still plugged in? Or finally, what happens when you don't invite your removalists into your new flat and they are forced to go sell your things on Antiques Roadshow? All right, Faisanne, what are you thinking? Any of those jumping out

at you? Do you know what? I didn't think about you about that electricity what? Seems smart as foot, man. Yeah. I'm just going to be the one that sounds the smartest, so I'm going to go with the electricity one.

All right, locking that in. Electricity one for Phase 9. What do you think, Grace? I also think electricity. Double electricity. I like that, solidarity early. We're a team. I don't understand how the game works.

I've played this multiple times. And every time I get here and I'm like, what do we do it again? Well, here's who wrote the answers. Seaman Maya Copalis, that was Phase arm. Now what is that? I didn't know you were going to ask because I just said something that sounded

smart. Yes. So I thought so I think what I did was I think what you did was write something that sounded smart but out of my mouth it did not really. Yeah you must to factor that in. When you said it I was like I'm sure I didn't write that. You have to add pronunciation notes.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll do it Phonetically next time. That would be really appreciated. But it is, I mean, I would just say it for precedent. A Latin word is never a definition. Okay. Would we say that? Yeah.

Fair enough. It's not my first language, so, you know. The first language is Latin. The one about the missing socks in the laundry. That was written by Josh, the question writer. The paralytic venom dispensed by certain species of bats. Grace Thank you

Yeah I would I've invited these guests here tonight And it would It would make me feel better If when I let you know that one of the guests wrote something You could give them a little Just a little cheer Just make it feel like we're all

Having a bit of fun together But post vasectomy ejaculate That was the house I had to Google What's the word for when they cut your dick and you can't spoof anymore. Oh, yes. I think you can still.

You can still spoof, but Google knew what I meant. The one about removal is selling your stuff on Antiques Roadshow. That was Prue. And I'm ready to pitch the pilot at any time. We can make that show happen, Manchester. And that means

Faisan and Grace are correct. It is the extra electricity. It's been sure. by unused appliances. So a point to both grace and plays and. You put your fist out for me to bump it and I just thought you were sort of demonstrating Mancunian aggressiveness.

He's doing it now. He's doing it now. All right, Prue. Almost not really necessary, but do you want to give us a score update? Oh, it would be my pleasure to give us score update because I think we've sufficiently turned the crowd against the house who have no points. What is it?

It's like a woo and a boo. The old woo-boo. And we have Grace on a one whole point. And Faisan both in front behind and exactly in line with Grace. Also on one point. We're a team. You cannot play that the whole time. Question two comes from two different people sent this in.

Linda Moulton from Gainesville. Florida and James Harrison from Leeds, Leeds, Leeds. Oh, it's Leeds also. So you just hate everybody. Isn't Leeds nearby, ish? You're going to hate this. I've had nothing but lovely experiences in Leeds. Anyway, James and Linda's question is,

they just want you to come up with a fake species of bird, okay? You don't have to describe it or anything, Phelan. Just the name of a, the common name of a species of bird. Don't go Latin again. This time it would actually... Actually, you've been singled up. No, I just think you've overshot the, you know, the intelligence of this show.

Going right, Latin right off the bat. Fucking hell. All right, yeah. While you're coming out with a species of bird, here's some more info about vampire loads. Robert Lamb of How Stuff, works, writes, and he's having fun, by the way. There's a vampire on the loose. Whether you're at work at home or out on the town, this vampire is taking a bite out of your wallet and harming the environment. But there's no need to barricade the house and stock up on garlic just yet.

This vampire works entirely through your electrical outlets, and stopping this monster can be as easy as pulling a few plugs. Jeez, he's having a great time, Robert. The villain in question is vampire power, also known as standby power or phantom load. You can also find it referred to as vampire energy, leaking energy, war warts, standby loss, idle current, phantom power, ghost load,

and of course, vampire load. Prue, you can stop me whenever you're ready. I'll keep talking otherwise. Keep chatting. The terms refer to the electricity many gadgets and appliances waste just by being plugged in, even if they're switched off.

After all, what do you think your cell phone charge it does all day while it's plugged into the wall? The answers are in for question number two. Which are these a real species of bird? The giant wren. Swollen tit. Wet dog parrot.

Plain Shuckalaka. The buzzbird. or the wall-wort-eater in brackets very energy-efficient. All right, Grace, what do you reckon? What was the... Which one? Giant wren, swollen tit, wet dog parrot, plain Shucka, buzzbird, wall-wort eater.

Buzzbird. Buzzbird. I think that's real. Okay, locked in. I'm from New Zealand. We have a lot of weird birds. I'm thinking swollen tit. Swollen tit.

And what do you want to lock in? A bit of fun there? Hey, been of fun? Hey? Bit of a, we can't have fun here. All right, so those answers are locked in. Here's who wrote the answers. The Giant Wren, that was written by James,

one of the question writers. James also wrote a note saying, I'm bad at this sorry. Back yourself, James. The wet dog parrot, that was the house. I looked up famous Mancunians, and one of them was Albert Finney, who were famously said in the musical Annie,

Why do I smell wet dog? That was my little nod to... You've told me about this scene in Annie so many times. Nobody else remembers it. I think it's very important bit of culture. The wall-wort eater, that was Prue. Yeah, I thought that as a, thank you, as a name for an energy vampire appliance

would get more of a reaction. A wall-wort. And I think go home and think about it because it is funny. I mean, yeah, even now they're giving it nothing. I know. You're basically begging them for a response. That's crazy to call them that.

Now, the buzz bird. Grace went for that. That was Faisan. Sorry, babe. I know, it's okay. And the swollen tit, Faisan, went for that. That was Grace. Yay.

Tishe. We remain a teet. A beautiful exchanging of points. And that means no one got the correct answer, which was plain shuckalaka. What? That's not a bird. It's a bird. Where? Where is it from?

Texas. Yeah, it'd be a sense fair with Texas. Is Texas where that conspiracy theory that birds aren't real came from? Oh. It's America somewhere. It's America somewhere. And I think this is a good bit of evidence. Yeah.

If they're calling them the plain chuckleucker, I can understand why you wouldn't believe in them. Question three was written by Tess Matthews from Manchester. You're in tonight, Tess. Yes. Yes. Well, Tess has just asked for those listening in home, what did I write, but you just wait a moment.

Tess, I will. I'll let you and everyone else know in a moment. Tess's question is, what law enacted in 1867 is technically still in effect in London? What law, obscure law, enacted in 1867, is technically still in effect in London? What is that law? Before I get under the plane

Shackaluckers, Prude, do you want to give us a score update after two rounds? Oh my God, it would be my absolute dream to give you a score update, as we have all bonded so much over the fact that the house is still on zero. No points to the house.

But then we have neck and neck. Some would say, quite literally, Grace on two points and phase out on two points. Here's some more info about the plain Shacalaka, According to Linda, the plain Shackalaka is about the size of a crow or mallard duck and can be found in southern Texas along the Gulf Coast of Mexico, or the Gulf Coast of America, as I call it, and Central America all the way to Costa Rica.

Description, a large, long-tailed, small-headed bird. Dull olive brown. I hope it doesn't read this description because it would not be good for yourself esteem, Aww. It's buff on its belly. May show red on throat. Wide black tail feathers have white tips. It most likely gets its name from the sound of its call,

which the Audubon Society describes as sounding like a bunch of men arguing. When sung as a chorus, James writes, The call is a loud raucous, Raupahor or Chachaloka. I do. Those are Pokemon sounds.

What are you talking about? I don't have. Grace is just sitting here looking up the bird. He is very plain. Yeah. That's a Pokemon. Do that come through? He is kind of like khaki-colored.

And he is conservation status least concern. We got plenty. We got heaps of these guys. And they're not that pretty. The answers are in for question number three. Here we go. What law enacted in 1867 is technically still in effect in London. A Welshman can be fought with arms within the city of London.

Option two, bees can only be used for producing honey, hunting or eating. No, sorry. This is a poorly put together sentence by the lawmakers. Bees can only be used for producing honey. hunting, eating or fondling them is forbidden Oh, someone shattered Some real war breakers in the house tonight Have you seen the bumblebees here though

They do look fondleable They're cute They're snuggle up to one of them They're little pom-poms running around They're adorable Option three It remains illegal to punch a horse Option four

Or whatever the number of I think it's four. It is illegal to walk a cow down the street between 10 and 7. Option 5. Fashing your ankles at a working policeman is illegal. If they're off duty, it's another story. Or finally, highway robbery. Someone tell landlords and anyone on an electric bike.

In 1867. They had a bunch of people. of bees making the engine. All right, what do you reckon? Phazon, you've got Welshmen can be fought. You've got bees can only be used to producing honey. And you've got, it's illegal to punch a horse, illegal to walk a cow down the street,

it's legal to flash your ankles or working policeman or highway robbery. I really want it to be the first one. Well, I'm going to go with, it's illegal to walk a cow? Walk a cow, yep. Locking that in But your mum is fine Not your mum obviously Everybody else is collective mum

You know what I'm Oh mum I had no idea what you were talking about Mum Your mum Vote reform everyone I fucking get it I get it now

I know exactly what they're talking about Wait, did I accidentally say someone that was pro-Nigel Farage? No. No. I did. And it wasn't accidental. Grace, what do you think? I like the bees.

I'm about reform. And I say again, I like the bees. And I think they should be in charge. I have long since. said that if we replaced the police with a single emu, he would sort it out. So I'm going to go with you, can't fondle the bees. Can't fondle the bees, all right. Which will be good for me to know because they're very nice.

All right, here's the answer. A Welshman can be fought with arms within the city of London. That was Faisan. I think that's probably still true. Yeah. Was it like arms in gum? or arms is in arms? Arms is in like, you know, like a, like a pistol.

Oh, yes. Guns invented in 1867. Did they have guns in 1867? Yeah, cannons. Yes. Like I said, again, I am not qualified to be here. Highway robbery, that was Prue. Thank you.

Just a little bit of politics. And then I got stood up with all this reform chat. That was a bit of politics too. Yes. these landlords, take them down. And the electric bikes, are they, what's that? That's the phone snatches, don't they come up on like that?

That's a thing happening here, is it? In London. Really? Highest rate of electric bikes stealing phones in Europe. What is it like one compared to none? That's a very niche crime. I had a whole bit about this at most show, but I got my phones stolen last year

by a guy on an electric bike and I was on a phone call with my boyfriend at the time so he got to experience what it was like to be kidnapped bobbing somewhere else and completely finding just his tiny little voice being like, give me back! Flashing your ankles at a working policeman, that was Tess, the question writer.

Yay! It being illegal to punch a horse, that was Grace. Yes. I think it probably is. Grace went for bees can't be fondled. I'm afraid that was the house. That's good. As far as I'm aware, that is legal.

Great news. And that means Faisanne was correct. It is illegal to walk a cow down the street between 10 and 7. That makes sense. you've got to do it off peak yeah exactly why between 10 and 7 why is it okay after 7

10 p.m. 7 a.m or 10 a.m to 7 p. 10 a.m to 7 p.m. Yeah the night's your own you can walk as many cows as you want where are you going with that cow day you're not allowed to ask me that question it's past 7pm no questions

87 mate stop kinkshay yeah Question four comes from Thomas Doppler from Graz in Austria in tonight Thomas I think you are Yeah Thomas Thomas flew in over from Austria for a few other shows

Could you see Thomas Am I saying Graz right? Kind of Kind of Well that's no How can you quickly say it so I can Graz Go

Not like you're a cling on, but Unless there's a bee around, you know what I mean? Now, so Thomas's question is What is a notable about the main city church in Graz, Austria? So there's a big church there in Graz? And you just put to write out something that is notable about it. Prue, what is the score? Oh my God, well, I've got a question for you, Matt.

Yes. If you guessed the right answer, is that two points? One point. Oh, what a bummer. I was really trying to get some more a game in this. But as it is, we have the house now on one point. Oh, that was a wuboo. Yeah.

A bit of a wiboo. We have grace on a very respectable two points. and Faison has taken the lead on three whole points So while they're still writing their answers I can fill the audience in a bit more about this cow law And I'm reading it straight from the Metropolitan Streets Act of 1867 So you know it's going to be pretty fun Cattle not to be driven through streets within certain hours

No person shall drive or conduct any cattle through any cattle through any streets within the limits of this act between the hours of 10 in the morning and 7 in the evening, except with the permission of the commissioner of the police. Any person driving or conducting cattle, musically, I suppose, in contravention, which is very specific,

in contravention to this section, shall be liable to a penalty not exceeding 10 shillings for each head of cattle so driven or conducted. What's 10 shillings? How many, what does that mean? I don't know. I only work in rupees, mate. I think it's old people money. It's old people money in it.

Right. It's like before we had pounds and pence, we had... About 50 pence. What's all what I love about the lettering of the law is, it's not like a regular police officer you have to go to,

you have to go to the commissioner of police. Yes. To go, can I walk Macau? He's like, I am the commissioner of police, right? Jack the Ripper's out there doing much shit. This cunt wants to work. walking raw cacao, right? Wait till after seven, you wear them.

I should also say that it does define cattle more broadly than I would. Okay, interesting. The act says the word cattle shall include bull, ox, cow, heifer, calf, sheep, goats and swine, also horses, mules and arses when led in a string or loose. I look like cattle the first year You're like yeah bull cow heifer got it Sheep okay This law reads more like a taskmaster task

You're like what's the workaround They love to put things on a string here Have you seen that they put their school children on a string In what way When they're walking them around like a cow They all hold onto a string Oh And they call it a crocodile

What? I know I think you just live somewhere quite scary. Well, I have been robbed recently. And I was in a bus accident the week. You know what? Actually, I should move. This is a London thing, the crocodile string?

Yeah. Yeah, right. School children, they're on a string. I guess it's so they don't run into traffic. Which they will do, if given a chance. I don't know if you've met children. They do not have concern for their own life. Hey, while you're still writing your answers, let's go for a quick break.

And we're back. This is cruel because the listeners at home will not have known all that fun we just had. You cheering just makes them feel left out, but you're right. That was a great time. What a great break that was. The answers are in for question number four. What is notable about the main city church in Graz, Austria. Am I saying Austria right?

How do you say grace in Austria? Just like that? Oh. You say it like it's a question. In France, they call me class. Oh, class. Yeah, okay, right. I'll pronounce the cathedral.

Class. Here are your options. They hold a mass for pets every Thursday evening where the pets get fed and special songs are performed by the priest and his dog. Oh. Songs is in inverted commas, if that changes anything.

Songs. Option two, a statue of Mary, but it's way too sexy. Option three, its stained glass window depicts Adolf Hitler and Benito Mussolini.

You're all thinking that's me, in it. I could sense it in the room, okay? Suck your mom Option four It is the site where the Pope baptized Archduke Franz Ferdinand Option 5

There are two clocks with different times on them To trick the devil He's real stupid Or finally Their crucifix comes out hourly As a cuckoo clock And they all say it's Jesus time, amen.

Okay, Grace. I love learning about different cultures. So you've got Pet Mass, you've got sexy Mary, you've got Hitler window, you've got Archduke Ferdinand baptism, you've got Tricking the Devil Clock, or you've got Cuckoo Clock crucifix.

I really want it to be the cuckoo-cloc. But I think it's the tricking the devil clocks. Okay. Because I was thinking about cathedias and I was like, they mostly have all the same stuff. I was like, my first thought was maybe it has like a flat roof.

It's the only non-triangular cathedral in Europe. It's one of those buildings that's clearly a refurbished pizza heart. Yeah. Faisanne, what do you think? I think it's the same thing as Grace said. Can I ask, can I ask an extra question? Sure. What denomination is this church?

Roman Catholic. Famously against clocks. So you want to be sexy Mary? Well, I think that if it was sexy mayor, I don't think it was on purpose. You know how many sexy Jesuses there are in Roman Catholic churches? The Roman Catholics love sexy saints. Yeah, that's true. None of them have shirts.

It's like it's part of the marketing. I was like, ladies, look at this. Neil die on for them. Say what you will about Catholics. They decorate well. Yeah, true. That is true. I'm going to go with the clock thing

because that sounds like a Catholic thing thing. We're going to afford Satan by like having two different clocks. Yeah. It's like it's Satan, mate. So he's late for his appointment. All right, so locked in. I was supposed to meet someone at a crossroads at 2.15. But that clock still says it's free.

What's going on? I have this golden fiddle for no reason. And the devil is famously a stickler for time. It's so heavy I have to carry it around. Here's who wrote the answers. The special pet mass. That was written by Thomas, the question writer. Yes.

Where the Pope baptized Archduke Franz Ferdin, and that was Faisan. See, I'm not sick like you thought I was. The one with the cuckoo clock that says, it's Jesus time, amen. That was Prue Blake. And isn't that the world we want to live in? Yeah. I think you and Thomas should make your own church. Pet mask, cuckoo clock.

Flat roof. Let's chat after this. A statue of Mary, but it's way too sexy. That was Grace. You're inspired by a sexy Jesus? Well, yeah, sometimes you'll just be in a museum, and it'll just be like, well, this is the saint, and it's like this really holy picture and her tits out.

And you're like, oh, cool. That's awesome. I went to the Manchester Art Gallery yesterday, and there was a huge sexy Jesus painting. Yeah. He is ripped. Oh, like, he's, to be honest, above the shoulder. was not that sexy, kind of teeth are a bit weird.

He looked kind of like me actually, but below the neck. Abbs. I went to the Vatican and like all of the statues that have the peepee didn't have a pee pee. It's because they, you can't make things very long if you want them to age. They snap off too easily. Oh, right. Not but they all had like been replaced with a leaf. Oh.

So I was like, why is it what? Because I think people rub them for luck as well, don't know. Is it was the leaf really, like, well, shined up? No, I don't. I think it was made out of stones, so I don't. Can you shine a stone? Can you shine a stone? I think we've all heard of free the nipple,

but there's not enough press for free the penis. Oh, there is. Have you been to the Edinburgh Fringe Festival? I would never watch a show by a clown. As a man, I'm just going to shut the foot. I had several people come up to me and be like, oh my God, I saw this incredible show and I was like, oh, yeah, I've seen it.

His dick's out the whole time. It's fine. I guess you're allowed. What a review of your dick. It's fine. Now, Grace and Faisan went for the two clocks with it, you know. Grace and Faisan went for the two clocks with different times. I'm afraid that was Thomas, the question writer.

Meaning the correct answer is Thomas's local church has stained glass windows. depicting Adolf Hitler and Benito Mussolini. No. Thomas explain. And are they sexy? They're dicks out. I will explain the story.

When was the church built? I'd love to know that. I'm sorry, I'm actually like, I'm actually like, before. Before I was like, yeah, whatever, yeah. But, like, no. Like, regular stained glass windows struggle to get people to not throw bricks through them. You put Hitler and stained glass, you really think it's not lasting very long.

I will say it was done as a protest against Hitler, not pro-Hitler. Oh. Hitler was... Is that clear in the glass? It's not the most sort of interpretive medium. Well, he's in the mob that's like crucifying Jesus. Oh. Sexy Jesus.

Sexy stained glass Jesus. That's kind of poetic. But I will explain more to the audience and the listeners while you're writing, so I'm so sorry about that. Oh, was there a second, was there a new question? No, not yet, but here is it. But here is it. No, there wasn't, but here is it. Okay, sorry.

I'm out of step. This one comes from Paul Mello from Oldham in the UK. Inside Paul. Paul's question is, and it's actually Oldham related. Why was the match between Oldham Athletic and Blackburn Rovers delayed in 2015? A football match between Oldham Athletic and Blackburn Rovers was delayed for some reason. Why was it delayed while you're writing your answers? Here's the story about those windows.

So where you write their questions, the listeners also has a little bit where I say, do you have any fun facts to add? And Thomas wrote, not sure if there is anything fun about Hitler and Mussolini. But he did say, though 50% of your audience will like the fact. I found a great blog by Mary Murphy. It's called Any Excuse to Travel.

And she writes, The mid-15th century Gothic Cathedral dedicated to St. Giles is furnished in Baroque style. The frescoes date back to the days of Emperor Frederick III. During World War II, the stained glass windows were destroyed in an explosion, and the commission to make new ones went to a German artist living in Salzburg named Albert Berkel, a man with a sense of humor. He'd been doing quite well in his native Berlin until 1937 when Hitler and the Nazi Party

declared his work to be entarted. Now, the word entarded, Mary had to look up, and she describes it as fascinating. apparently the German Entartet Kunst or something like that What did you call us? Apparently it translates to something like degenerate art and so that's what Hitler called this guy's art

degenerate and it was a term adopted by the Nazi party in Germany to describe modern art during the dictatorship of Adolf Hitler German modernist art including many works of internationally renowned art was removed from state-owned museums and banned in Nazi Germany on the grounds that such art was an insult to German feeling. It was also un-German, free Masonic, Jewish or communist in nature.

Those identified as degenerate artists were subjected to sanctions that included being dismissed from teaching positions, being forbidden to exhibit or sell their art, and in some cases being forbidden to produce art. Burkle wasn't impressed, but his revenge was sweet. to the scene depicting the crown of thorns and the revilement and abuse of Jesus was added in the uppermost right pain the most unlikely pair, namely Hitler and Mussolini right there in plain sight

alongside Christ's persecutors and no one noticed for a couple of years until a journalist spotted the unmistakable likenesses the papers wrote it up and the tourists came and then they forgot now you need to know where to look it's actually, it's pretty small but it's definitely on my bucket list now Can you spot them?

Are they cuddling? Yeah, they hugging each other? Yeah. The answers are in for. Question number five. Penultimate question here. Why was the match between Oldham Athletic and Blackburn Rovers

delayed in 2015? A queen bee attached herself to one of the posts, which attracted a huge swarm of bees to form around her. What kind of canoodling, I guess? No, what was the word from? Fondling.

Fondling. Optioning. Option two, the Blackburn team's bus was set on fire by anti-racism protester. Odd spot to laugh, but I like it. Maybe they're famously racist, we don't know. Option three, the canteen's meat and potato pies were still frozen, so kickoff was delayed 30 minutes to wait for the fan favorite food to be ready. I just heard an audible gasp from the audience.

They couldn't imagine. Option four, the Oldham scene. section had a fist fight over what song they should start the match with. Option 5, team mascot Chattie the Owl suffered a bout of explosive diarrhea after a bad chicken curry. They delayed it to tidy things up on the pitch. Or finally, the two teams were busy huddling together for warmth after saving the world through the power of an ice bucket challenge.

Okay. phase on what do you think do you have any local knowledge here no do you go for the owls I don't even watch all them athletic

to be honest of you I've moved there two years ago okay so I don't know anything about the yeah two years how you expect to know anything in two two years I stay in my house

I don't talk to people don't care like please me I have those options again yep you got the queen B attached to the goals You got the team's bus hilariously set on fire by an anti-racism

protester. You got the meat and potato pies were still frozen. You got the Oldham singing section had a fist fight. You had Chattie the Al shat itself or you've got...

There's a... What's the... There's a Manchester word for pants or trousers or the cacks. Cacks? Cacks. CECs.

Kee Ks. Every single person said that differently. every single person. People say that in Australia. You cacked your dax. Cack your dax, but the dacks are the pants here, the kecks are the...

Oh. So you'd cack your kecks here. Oh. Cack your kex? And you get... Cacks. Oh. So you're dacked in Australia.

Get cacked here. Isn't that beautiful? Yeah. Culture's coming together. We're not so different, after all. I mean, we... Yeah. It's almost like a lot of people from here.

went to Australia. The last time I was here, I didn't realize this. I didn't realize this was not a thing that people knew. In Australia, we referred to, like, all, like, bedding and curtains as Manchester. Oh, that's not a term here? That would be confusing, I suppose. That's the section in, like, John Lewis. It's, like, bedding in Manchester, because when you guys were shipping it over to us,

all the crates just said Manchester. So we were like, guess that's what it is. I really thought your town would be a lot more soft Just here for the linens Higgins, hey guys I thought there were quilts on the street That was the industry here for a long time I think it was well but they called it

Shipping stuff Bedding cotton Linenes Linenes yeah cottons Cottonopolis is another word for this city Oh that's beautiful Spring fields That's where they used to be

Oh they're spinning the Oh the bees That's why the bees is a symbol because we're all worker bees in factories. Oh. And I just rhymed that. So, you know. I think I was mid-recap. Sorry, sorry.

I think it was, I think it's because it sounds so old and that the fans started fighting each other about what song they're going to sing. Okay. I think that's the one. Locking that in for phase on. What do you think, Grace? I think, well, I really hope it's not that the boss was set on fire. but also it seems so specific and like people would remember

oh but now yeah do you think those they were laughs of of memory recognition yeah because it is an tragedy plus time Matt tragedy plus time oh yeah

start time in 2050 yeah um because it was set fire by an anti-racism protesters so maybe that's why it's fun yeah maybe it's also something to do with the name blackburn you know

would be I'm just one I missed up the bus I'm just saying I'm just saying Does that make it more or less guessable for you It's adding It's world building

Yes It's layering it You know what I mean The pies We can't start the match Until the pies It sounds very Australian I'm gonna go with the owl

Had diarrhea Okay Although but then You don't need the owl Yeah And surely there's an understudy for the mascot The owls eat chicken curry as well Is that

Yeah, we get blamed for everything For my fault No, I change my... Do birds eat birds? I'm going to go with the pie. Yeah, because go on the pie You can't eat a chicken nugget if you give them one Yeah.

Right. I did it for the same only, you know what I mean? So you're going with the pies? Pyes. The pies weren't ready so they delayed the match. All right. It's the most northern shit ever. He's a wrote

Doobie. These are at the answers. The ice bucket challenge that saved the world, that was Peru. Thank you. I can't believe we left them behind in 2015. ALS? I think it still exists. Yeah.

Well, you wouldn't know, because I've not seen anyone dump ice on themselves. Chaddy, the owl, Kicking its Kex? Kek. cacking its kecks. That was written by Paul, the question writer.

The Blackburn team bus being set on fire. That was Faisan, which is... Which I guess is why you got the joke. We're all like, did any of you, did anyone catch that apart? That was too good for the whole room, Faisan. I thought I was the dumbest person in there, but, you know, too...

Quite the opposite. Also, I felt so horrible when I was like building it up. Yeah, maybe it's to do with the fact that's called Blackburn. You're like, oh, maybe it is. That's playing the game, man. Loved it. You went for Oldham's seeing section having a fistfire. That was Grace.

I recently learned that they have singing sections because I was on a train with some football people and they were talking about how they involved me. I was like, I don't know. I don't know. but they were like the singing section were not up to snuff today and I was like not only do you have an assigned singing section you're critical of the choir that's so awesome they have specific songs they have like song books you got

homework for their sports I love it that's so good musical homework now grace went for the meat and potatoes not being ready that was also written by Paul the question writer Wow. So it makes sense you say that's so northern because a northern man wrote it, so he knew. But that means no one got the correct answer, which was a Queen Bee attached herself to one of the posts.

I thought it was a red herring. No, it was a correct herring. Wow. Is that the other kind of herring? Yeah. A blue tuna, sorry, thank you. Dr. Seuss. Suffers a head injury, can't rhyme anymore.

Just naming fish. One fish, two fish, red herring, blue tuna. We're getting there, we're getting there. Bass, bass, bass. So the final question comes from Sam Lacey from Manchester. You and Sam? Yay! This is, we never have this many question right as actually in attendance.

It feels like your sports and your podcasts have homework. Yes. They're in the question writing section. And they are. They're all friends as well, I think. It's beautiful, actually. It is gorgeous. The community of this podcast.

Can you guys give me a lift home? You're going that way anyway. Now, Sam's question is a movie plot synopsis. We always finish with the movie plot synopsis. You just want a short paragraph of the film, which is from 1937, It's titled, Sh, the Octopus. Sh, the Octopus.

A non-in-37 film titled Sh, the Octopus. Now, this is where a triple points. So it's still truly anyone's going, but Prude, do you want to give us a score update? Oh, I thought you'd never ask. But it has changed a bit. Oh. Grace Jarvis is on three points.

Very good. Faison Shah is on three points. The house is now bringing it home with four points. I think when there's a lot of question writers in, the boo really takes on a different feel, doesn't I? Yeah, because it's kind of they're part of the... They're being booed too. Yeah, they've earned those points.

But the final round, only Fazahn and Grace get triple points here, so they'd really have to stuff it up for the house to win. But while they're still writing their answers, here's some more info about these bees. And an article titled, Never Mind the Goldkeeper, we need a beekeeper. This is good stuff from the Daily Mail. Jenny Stanton writes, a swarm of bees caused chaos at a preseason friendly today when they invaded the pitch before kickoff. Beekeepers wearing protective suits were called in to clear the insects,

which had gathered on a goalposts at Oldham Athletics Boundary Park Ground in Greater Manchester. Fans were made to wait outside ahead of the game against Blackburn Rovers, while the pesky insects were removed. Oldham Athletic tweeted a picture of the goalposts with the caption, you're going to love this. The caption read, you cannot be serious. And then it's, but no, that way,

then it also says, hope everyone is swarming down today. Yes, queen. Thank you. supporters were also told over the PA system quote it's been a hive of activity the bees didn't pay the entrance fee so we've had to throw them out

you guys you guys suck nah that is all good stuff beekeeper John Ogden received a call from the club asking him to rush down he told mail online I've never been phoned saying we have a football match in an hour can you come and clear some bees explaining why the bees had gathered on the post Mr Ogden said,

Somewhere within a few hundred yards, a hive had to get overcrowded. When the hive gets overcrowded, the queen bee decides she is going to have to take half the bees with her. They hang off a tree and send out scout bees to search for a new home. It's usually the branch of a tree, but it can be anywhere. Mr. Ogden and a fellow beekeeper sprayed the insects with sugar syrup before scooping the majority of them into a box.

Oh. Once the danger was cleared, the match went ahead and Blackburn beat Oldham 2-0. because the songs were not up to snuff. Yeah. Exactly. All right. It looks like the answers are in. So here is the final question.

What is the plot of the 1937 movie Shh, the Octopus? Alfred the Octopus learns sign language with his eight arms to coordinate an elaborate heist from the aquarium, imprisoning him and his fellow sea creatures. Only the dastardly Janitor Claude stands between Alfie and the open sea. Okay, that's option one.

Wood watch. Wood watch? Is that who you said that? Sorry, I thought I'd give my two thoughts. Two cents. What's your second thought? Second thought, I'd love to see that guy do sign language. Option two, the misunderstood octopus is in Sicily

fighting against the accusation that it is causing the beach to turn jet black. Option three, two bumbling. detectives are in pursuit of a master criminal, the octopus. They find themselves inside a haunted lighthouse full of suspicious characters, including the titular character, who appears to be an actual octopus. Option four, an ex-lighthouse keeper is driven mad by an octopus he's convinced is living in the walls of his house. His wife leaves him. Option five, Barry the octopus, starts his own undersea. library, but just can't stay quiet.

Can he learn to embrace silence and teach the baby clams to read? Or will he be doomed to a noisy existence without books? Or finally, one of these is real, Pha-Zan, okay. Or finally, a man fucks an... Well, finally, a man fucks an octopus, but doesn't tell everyone about it, unlike in a certain hit Netflix documentary. So, Grace, any of those six stand out to you? You've got Alfred the octopus trying to get, break out.

You've got the Sicilian octopus that's misunderstood. You've got the... What year was it again? 1937. When did they sort of get into whimsy? Oh. Not 1937, surely. No, I think things were turning, you know, quite unwimical around that.

time. But some would argue that's the... The least whimsical era. I think it is the bumbling detectives. Bumbling detectives of grace. Locked in. Phazon, what do you think? I think it's that guy in the light house

who goes mental and his wife leaves in the day. I like it. Locked in. Okay, here's who wrote the answers. Man, fox and octopus. That could only come from the twisted mind of Prue Blake. And that movie, I would watch. The fun thing about getting the score to putting answers is that you can't win anyway.

It's the best fun I've ever had on this podcast. The octopus learning sign language, that was by Sam, the question writer. Sam, the question writer, also wrote the one about Barry the octopus. I love how he came up with names, both of them. who starts his own undersea library, but just can't stay quiet. Too whimsical. Now, Faisan, oh, hang on. Phazan wrote the one about the Sicilian octopus,

who was fighting against the accusation that he was causing the beach to turn jet black. From the ink? Yeah. Really sweet as well. Faisan submitted that answer and then wrote, Is this okay? That's on. I mean, you should have asked if it was okay to reveal that vulnerability issue.

I think we all agree. Yes. A beautiful answer. I thought was fantastic. I know they're like a little bit political because they're quite racist in Italy, aren't they? Towards octopuses. Well, look, reading between the lines. Octopoe.

Is it octopoe or octopuses? Octopuses. You can't just say it's pusses in a massive room. I think because it's Greek, not Latin, right? Yeah. An ex-lidhousekeeper is driven mad by an octopus who's convinced living in the walls and his wife leaves him.

Phazon went for that. That was Grace Jarvis. And that also means Grace is correct. Two bumbling detectives are in pursuit of a master criminal, the octopause. So while Prue is adding up the scores, I can reveal that Rotten Tomatoes doesn't have enough reviewers to give it a score.

But audience members have jumped in and reviewed it, and it's got a 20% approval rating. A review by one of the two critics that actually has reviewed it, Dennis Schwartz. One word review, dreadful. I think we're Twitter mutuals. I recognize her voice. Now, Prue, what are the final scores? Oh my gosh. Well, yes, thank you.

Moments, some ooze, some drum rolls. Oh my God, there's too much pressure. We have Faison on a very respectable and okay, three points. We have the house and our incredible question writers on four points. And in an incredible turn of events, not seen since the swarm of bees happening in this city, it's Grace Jarvis winning the game with nine points. So good.

I don't think how ever won this before. You've never won? I don't think so. I mean, you didn't win. You shitted. it in tonight. I think some of the football song sections would say. Or that's Australian song sections.

That's one of our three chants we do. Shitted in? Did we win? We shitted in. How do we do it? Doggy stuff. That's specifically a team from my suburb. Okay.

The St. Paul's dogs, but I didn't realize that until I got to the doggy bit. I want to know that's a very, that's a very specific one. I think in my hometown we just do Seven Nation Army, but no lyrics. That's pretty good. Have it added anything in, have it made it specific to our teams, just the tune. Just like dun dun dun dun. And then it sort of peters out.

Because people are like, when do we finish? The song doesn't start. Just like that. They need someone organizing that singing section. And it needs to be those guys from the train. Now, that brings us to the end of the episode. Phazon, where can people find? Are either people here?

Obviously, they'll know you in the room, but people listening at home, follow you online, such things? It's Faizan Shah, ha-ha, on Instagram. And you perform here at the Froggin' Bucket a bit? Yeah. Are you what? Do you know what that's...

I fully acknowledge that the energy I'm giving off is, it's kicked in, hasn't it? That brownie I talk is like, yeah. Yeah, I'm here. And here there everywhere, I stayed near you I do stand up comedy on stage thank you for this opportunity

Thank you for this opportunity He's going to fall asleep In the back seat of your car I reckon Wait I'm giving him a lift home Am I? No I wouldn't recommend that Now Grace

I believe you're going to be Appearing live at the Chief Learful Podcast Festival in London next month on the Hey I Love That Movie podcast. Is that true? Yes. Are you loving the movie, Shh, the Octopus?

Yeah, pretty much. I'm doing that. I'm doing, Hey, I love that movie at the Cheapful-EFLUl podcast. They messaged me to be like, can you pluck the thing? And I was like, I'm on it.

I don't remember when. It's on my Instagram. I'm also doing the Women in Comedy in Manchester Festival. Is that the name of it? Could be. The Women in Comedy Festival. Right, right, right.

It's here. I'm doing that. I'm doing my show. It's called Just Because I'm Crying doesn't mean I'm not having a nice time. Thank you so much. You can follow me on the internet at Grace Jarvis. Oh No, on everything. And you can also watch my stand-up special on YouTube.

It's called This is the Last Goldfish that I'm going to eat for you. It's about autism. So get involved. And how about you, Peru? Oh, well, you can catch me on Instagram at Peru Blake Comedy, or you can follow my newsletter, the lowest, most awful on substack, which has some good stuff on it. It's deceptively positive.

Confirmed. Awesome. Thanks so much for joining us, everyone. Big round applause for yourselves for Poland and the staff here at the fucking back. Focke and our guests. And cheers for tuning in to who knew it, Matt Stewart. And now that you know it, I'll be Matt Stewart. Good boy.

I have noticed that Manchester isn't that friendly. Only based on my experiences. I generally love it here, but I've been on a few cafes and they're pissed off that I'm ordering from them. I just figured that was the culture here, which I kind of like. That's good. You should be allowed to be pissed off at people ordering from you if you work in hospitality.

That's my opinion. I don't like to drink in a bar unless the bartender looks furious that I'm there. Oh, you should come out tonight. Mancha, they're not pretending at all, which, you know, you've got to appreciate. Yeah, yeah. They fake it back home, don't they? At home, you have a manager over you being like, why don't you smile more?

You're like, I don't know, I'm 19. It's 4 in the morning. Everyone here is paralytically drunk. I don't think they care. It's a cold and miserable day. That's true. The weather is affecting it. Also, we're northern, so we're always cold and miserable like the weather anyway.

If you know, that's such a propaganda we spread all across the nation just going, yeah, we're friendly or up northern and we're fucking not. The one... You're simple as a bee. Yeah, true, true, true. It famously, it stings and then kills itself.

I think that's bees, yeah. A lot of parts of my identity sympathise. The head. Aircomer's got a question. That's the epitome of like boomer advice. Yeah. Unpluggy appliances and you can get a deposit on a house. Why don't you walk in and hand them your resume?

I don't know. There's a lock on the door. What workplace can you just walk into now? I can't even give them legal tender. Do you think they're going to accept my resume? This pound note has otters on it, so we will not be accepting. Oh, yeah. you've noticed that too.

They, I don't know what... They got a lot of prejudice going on. Yeah. Did you turn on Otters? No, on the Scottish. On the Scottish line? Yeah. Well, I'm using them fine up there, so...

I recommend it. It'll be crazy if they didn't accept the Scottish votes. They're like, not after the vote. My boyfriend is from Glasgow, and sometimes he says people from Edinburgh are basically English, which I'm like, I don't think that counts. Okay, right. The Scottish people agree. but if they stop taking the

auto notes it would really put the nail in the coffin I'll let you know What's your weirdest bird? This guy doesn't know about our birds He knows the most mainstream bird We got many birds Yeah yeah

We have no native land mammals And we're very proud of our birds And in New Zealand it's your civic duty To hit possums with your car because they fuck with our birds. Right. It is legal to kill possums there, isn't it? It's not only legal, it's encouraged.

My dad has lived in Australia more than 20 years at this point. He wears a T-shirt to this day that says, possums, New Zealand's little speed bumps. Assimulating perfectly. He also used to wear a possum skin hat to my scalp camps, and he used to have to walk around being like, hey, that's a New Zealand possum. that one's all right

that's not one of yours yeah the English people probably don't know Australia possums are native to Australia and we're not allowed to kill them no it's a name state only by accident I were allowed to kill the

cane toads though yeah yeah I think are we yeah in Queensland it's a hobby yes it's called toad golfing toad golfing toad golfing all right you're supposed to put them in your freezer

technically so that they die cold and slow. But a lot of people own golf clubs and they don't play. It's good to have something to do. All right, so Grace has gone on the buzzbird. What do you think of Fazarang? It's so good. I'm from Oldham, too.

What are you about you're older than me from? I'm from Chudderton too. What street do you live on? It's your mum. Thank you.