Who Knew It with Matt Stewart - 180 - Dave Warneke and Jess Perkins

Episode Date: February 23, 2026

Who Knew It with Matt Stewart is a comedy game show podcast hosted by Australian comedian Matt Stewart. Episode 180 features comedians Dave Warneke and Jess Perkins!Support the show via http://patreon.com/dogoonpod and you can submit questions for the show!Check out Matt's new stand up special: https://youtu.be/ZgukEPerWZc?si=SW8PttGAB-ly_GF8And his last stand up special: https://youtu.be/cWStRpI-BhESee the podcast/Matt live: https://www.mattstewartcomedy.com/Check out Matt's podcast network: https://dogoonpod.com/Theme song by Evan Munro-Smith, Logo by Murray Summerville and edited by Connor Schmidt! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey, mate, it's just Matt here. The titular one, that's right. In 2026, I'm doing new stand-up shows with great friend of the show, Seren Gai Amarna, at the Adelaide Fringe at the Rhino Room, March 3rd to 9th, and doing a live who knew it with Matt Stewart. While we're there, Saturday, March the 7th, also at the Rhino Room. And if you're in Melbourne, we're also coming to the Cooper's Inn for the Melbourne International Comedy Festival from April 7th to 19th. You can find out details for all these shows that Matt Stewart Comedy.com. While you're there, please sign up to my mailing list. I'd love to not be relying on social media to let you know about things. And I promise I won't spam you. Just every now and then, I'll send out an email with some info that I think you'd like to know. Anyway, let's get on with the show. Welcome to Who knew with Matt Stewart, the show where the guest's write the wrong answers.

I'm the titular Matt Stewart. And our first guest this week is my co-hosts on the Do Go On Podcast. It's Jess Perkins. Yes. Thanks so much for being here, Jess. What a pleasure. Fan favorite, one of the most requested guests. Now it's time to introduce one of the other most requested guests.

He's actually also a co-host on the Do Go On Podcast. It's Dave Warnocky. Thank you. I was really hoping for nothing. And I got it. That's very funny. One of the least requested guests because he's on too often anyway. Oh, the raining champ.

The raining champ's back. That's a nice way to put it, isn't it? I've never lost on this show. That's not true. Is that true? I can't remember losing. Yeah. Maybe once Mish got me,

but apart from that, every other time. You've won or you just haven't lost? Oh, yeah, that's right. That's mentality. Yeah, what do you mean? That's mentality. There's no way you've won every time. I've never lost, though.

Right, so we're saying the same thing, yes. Thank you. I'm just looking through. You have lost. Yeah. No. Oh, sorry. Did I misspe?

You thought of what I was saying I've never lost. Oh. There were games where I didn't win. Yeah. But you didn't. Yeah. And sometimes you even came last. But you never lost.

Top three? Top three, sometimes top four. Yeah. I'd agree with that. You probably podiumed. Thank you. It's great to be here. That's good to have you here.

It's always a pleasure. You are the most capped. a contestant outside of the house I suppose. Yeah, the house is always here. Yeah. The house has lost. Do you think it is now a good time, could I come clean about something on this show? So the last time, I think the last time Dave and I were on this show was a live one.

Is that true? I think that's true. At the podcast festival. And in my defence, we had a big day and I was a bit tired. And for one of the questions, I couldn't think of an answer. So I just handed my phone to Dave and got him to roll. write it's true and no one seemed to notice no one that maybe people in the audience did but even there there wasn't really even like a tittering of them knowing laughter yeah i think it was just for

dave and i think we both expected maybe to be called out on it yeah for it to be a bit but then everyone was just too distracted and if i won based on your answer i probably i would have come clean but i don't think i got any points for it no i imagine dave didn't pick it no um but i just you know i wanted to come clean on that okay i hope you feel better now I don't. I thought a weight might have lifted. No. Okay.

Yeah. Well, you haven't been given your penance yet. Were you? Right, right. Will you play for me in response? I always play for you. Everything I do is for you. Thank you.

So for new listeners, this is how the show works. I ask a relatively obscure trivia question. Our contestants have to write a convincing fake answer. I then read their answers as well as a real one. And I have to guess which one is correct. And the first question comes from listener. Edward Bassanelli from Canberra We were chatting to

When we did a do-go-on-on-up in Canber Last year? Last year. Yeah. Yes. Edward's sending this fantastic question. What does the word Frotage mean?

Frotage. Frotage. Can you spell frotage for us? Sure. F-R-O-T-A-G-E. And can you use it in a sentence, please? Yes. What does the word frottage mean?

I am. I really thought I'd get him. It's really good. I really thought I'd get him with that one. Damn it. Now, while they're writing their answers, I'll explain. Oh, I nearly sent it to our group chat. Oh, that's a trap for young players.

Okay. And you, Jess. So while they're writing their answers, I'll explain how the scoring works. You get one point if your fake answer is guessed by the other contest. And another point, if you correctly guess the answer, and by the way, I'm also playing as the house. And I've put in two of my own fake answers for each question. And I get a point for each one of those that I guess choose.

So each of us can go up to two points per round. which seems very fair, but the probability actually favours me. The House. And the House always wins off if you've listened to previous episodes. You know that is not necessarily the case. So questions covering about great Patreon supporters. If you want to submit a question, sign up on any level via Patreon.com slash do go on pod, which is linked in the show notes.

Dave, what are other things people can get involved with if they sign up to our Patreon? Well, because you'd be supporting the three of us in our show, Do Go On. You get four episodes every single month with the three of us right here, including some bonus do-go-on reports. We do some quizzes. The original Who New It episodes. Exactly.

You can track out the show Evolved because we did a few on there. We have also, we've got a movie club. We watch a movie once a month and we tell everyone what's going to be so you can watch the movie. We also do a monthly Dungeons and Dragon show

with our fantastic DM, Adam Khan of Valet. A friend of the show was on last week. And then you get to hear about live shows before anyone else and get discounted tickets. Yeah, all the Who Newit live shows and the do-go-on live shows get announced first to the patrons.

discounted tickets. Same as our stand-up shows when they're happening. And we are doing live do-go-ons at the Melbourne Comedy Festival as well. Yeah, coming up, three Sunday afternoons every year. There's four Sundays in the festival. We're taking off Easter Sunday. Yeah,

it's not because we're all the Easter bunny in a suit delivering a hicks. Why did you say that? Matt, that's very funny. It's ridiculous. We're not some sort of Voltron Bugs Bunny. No, that would, that's ridiculous. I've certainly not the left leg.

Yeah. Okay, so I've cleared that up. I'm not the dick. Of course you're not. No. And I'm also doing a live who knew it at the Adelaide Fringe at the Rhino Room, coming up really soon, actually. And me and Serena do a new material show, Saran Jai, Miner and Matt Schulte, and Saran Jiamana. And you've debuted a few, sorry.

Matt's Sheldon, Seren Jiamana, something like that. It's crap. Jump on in, Dave. So I was trying to. And yeah, hello, I'm not going to let you finish the title of the show. Well, I didn't, I thought it was over, but there. that just kept going. Let's remember this is his podcast.

I know. This is why I said we should swap seats. All right. So the answers are in for question number one. What does the word frottage mean? Frotage. The slurry like residue resulting from rotting autumnal leaves. Ew.

Frotage. Yeah. That's pretty good. Autumn leaves such a beautiful thing. You don't think about... You don't think about what they become. Yeah. They're on the ground for a long time.

Yeah, they do go a bit yuck. And I've seen what my dog does in him. What does he do? Wanks. Wanks in them. And I go, you're like, Ma, I can still say what you're doing under there. Yeah, I know what you're up to.

I know what the rustling means. Your little grot. Option two, a traditional French technique of hand whisking mountain cheeses into a sauce until they reach a perfectly frothy consistency. Mmm, frothy cheese. Frothy cheese. Option three, a term for miscellaneous household items, synonymous with junk, clutter, etc.

Frottish. I was like, what's in that drawer. It's just a bit of fronting. Oh, a bit of fron. Yeah, don't look and draw through. That's fraudage. Prottage only. Batteries and frottage.

Then option four, the spilt champagne that is unable to be drunk when someone pops a bottle in celebration. Of course there would be a word for that. People who drink champagne have to have a word for everything. Man, they love to communicate. When you say it can't be drunk, do you mean like everyone's on the floor? Yeah. It's been spilt. I thought I might be like, I misunderstood and thought it was.

I couldn't possibly have any more. Oh, but there's half a glass left, you know, in the bottom. But it's even, it's on the floor. I think it's the spraying celebration, a Grand Prix sort of thing. I guess you could lap it up. Oh, that's why I go to the Grand Prix. Yeah. Try to get my fill.

Stand right near the podium. It's so I don't understand it as a drink. Do not like it. No, either. Champagne? Hmm. I'm quite partial. Sorry.

Sorry. It was genuine. Sorry, it just came out. I'm sorry. He sounded like a dog laughing at it up to. And the way he's sitting there with both. With both arms, Daddy looked like a Muppet. I'm quite partial.

I like, I like a champagne. Sorry, yeah. I'll drink to that. Yeah, great. It's a beautiful celebratory drink. They're beautiful people from Acast. For our 500 episode recently, sent us a bottle of champagne. All I'm hearing is that you don't want it and you don't want it.

All yours, baby. It's the good stuff, too. It's all yours. Yeah, great. We'll just love whatever else. It's the packaging. Yeah. I love the packaging.

The cork. I'll have the cork. You can have the fraudage. Yes. The final option is the practice of touching or rubbing against the clothed body of another person in a crowd to obtain sexual gratification. Oh. All right. So you got the slurry from autumn leaves.

Yes. You got the frothy cheese. You've got miscellaneous household items. You've got spilt champagne or you've got touching and rubbing in a crowd. And it's the gratification you get from. That's cool. Is that where it was? It's the practice of touching and rubbing.

he frotaged me for example yeah I don't want it to be that one no there's often some yeah weirders and a mosh pit isn't there oh I like how you're picturing a mosh pit you're like mosh pit yeah Dave is punk oh to his core oh I went I was in there just I was in the circle pit I was trying some moves yeah see I was at chadston in the boxing day sales oh yes I'm picturing you know the grubs on a tram or something a crowded tram yeah yeah it's after the footy you know yeah so we've all had different life experiences. I think it's hard to mosh on a tram, but I'll do it.

I've got a parcel to a wash. I'm not into that, but I am champagne. Who wants to go first? I do. What are you going for? I think it's, for me, it's between autumnal sludge. Slurry. Was the slurry?

Slurry is such a fun word. Sludge. Sludge is a good too. I quite like the junk one, and there was another one that I quite liked as well. Leaves, junk. Maybe the champagne. I think like it would be one of those things where people go, oh, you know, there's a word for that, the champagne thing.

And I get, there you go. But I think I'm still going to, I think I'm going to say the autumn leaves. Okay. Locked in. I was also really tempted by the champagne. Unless Jess is playing some masterclass here where she was pretending to be into it. Which could be. But I think I could see that being called fraudage or frottage.

Oh, yeah. Are you sure? Are you shaking her? Oh, there really? Are you sure? Oh my God, now you're double, double playing me. Are you sure? That's the answer you want to go with?

It is, yes. Okay. Okay. What would you do with you and me? I'd probably change my answer. But... To which one? I don't know, probably one of the other ones.

Probably the correct one. Yeah, I'd probably choose the correct one. That's what Jess would have done, but... I'm going to choose everyone except the correct one. I'd go with the frotage, please. All right. So I call the Japan. Frotage.

Phil answer. All right. These are the answers. The one about the French technique for frothy mountain cheeses. That was Edward, the question writer. Wow, Edward, that was gross. Yeah, I think I avoided that one because I didn't want cheese to be ruined. No, frothy cheese, I'm okay, thanks.

I love cheese. Keep you frottage to yourself, you freak. It was a cheese sauce. Yeah. Does that help? Don't ruin cheese sauce for me. The term for miscellaneous household items, that was Jess Perkins. Should have gone for that one, Dad.

Oh. That was very good. Should have gone for that one. You did actually mention that one, didn't you? Of course I did. So you did do a bit of a play. Cause I fucking did. But it didn't quite work out for you.

They didn't it. Now, Dave went for the spilt champagne. Don't tell me. I'm afraid that was the house. Well done house. Yeah. That's really good. Oh, thanks so much.

And Jess went for the slurry like residue. That was Dave. Yes, it was. That is a good one. Thank you. Happy to get slurry into an answer. I'm not trying to do that for a little. all the rest of the two.

Love it. Me to the correct answer is the one. No one wanted it to be. Oh, no. Don't tell me. The practice of touch. It is from the French. Of course.

It is the practice of touching or rubbing against the clothed body of another person to gain, obtain sexual gratification. That's full on and luck. In the dictionary, I'll read this in full in a minute, but the first one is an unsuspecting person. That's one. and B is consensual. Okay. So it's like... I feel better about consensual.

I still don't love it, but you do you. That's just, I guess it's just like dry humping. But it comes from... The non-consensual version's not great, is it? Dave does a bit of French, right? It comes, apparently it comes from frotter, the French word frotter, which is to rub. It's probably pronounced differently. They haven't quite got to rub on duolink.

Yeah. And when you say Dave does a bit of French, his wife is fluent in French. I wonder if she would know rub. Yeah. So is that something you'd need to know in the kitchen? Maybe, you know, some sort of a brisket rub. Is that a big French dish? Yeah, brisket rub.

Brisket raw. They love a brisket rod. It's a vegetarian talking about some sort of meat dish. She's making it up. We rub's a brisket. Frotage. The brisket. Gross.

We make sure the brisket. get consents to the robbing defraughtage. Something like that. All right, so a point to Dave in the House in round one. Here is question number two. Can we get a, sorry, can we get a school camp? Sure can. After one round, Jess is yet to score.

Dave in the House, out in the lead on one point of piece. Yes. Question two comes from Nick Saxby, from Montrose in Scotland. And his question is. Basically, you've just got to come up with a species of grass. Second round, we started this in the early days, Jess. You told me your favourite kind of questions, whether make up a name for a bird or a fish or whatever,

which we've done a lot of. But it's sort of expanded out, and we're doing some mushrooms sometimes. This is the first grass species, I think. Come up with the name of a species of grass. And while you're writing your answers, here's more info on frotage. I'll read now from the American Heritage Dictionary, like I said, it's from the French frotter to rub

or the old French frotter with one less tea 1A, the act of rubbing against or touching the body of an unsuspecting person as in a crowd to attain sexual gratification. No good. No good. B, the act of consensual rubbing between two or more people either clothed or unclothed to attain sexual gratification.

You've really just opened up the definition there in the second one. I don't, can that word mean those, too close but very differing things? I wasn't really listening. It just feels like you don't, why do A and B, if both are rubbing for sexual, why isn't it just, it means rubbing for sexual gravification? Context will tell you if it's.

Yes. I don't quite understand why you need, anyway. And then to A, a method of making a design by placing a piece of paper on top of an object and then rubbing over it, as with a pencil or charcoal, or B, a design, so made. A design so made.

So you've done this full question now. The answer is another ABCD. Is that what I'm hearing? Yeah. Which one would like to do? Well, if I'd heard the charcoal, charcoal, like rubbing, I would have logged that one in for sure.

Oh my God. Are the answers in here? Is that what are you going with, Dave? What? Is that what you go on with? Do you usually ask the guest? No. I've never done that before.

Are you sure you're locking this in? Are you sure? See if you can guess it's on the record. You know this is being recorded, Dave. What the hell? Sorry, I need to delete my message to see you. Don't screenshot that. All right, the answer is the room for question number two.

Which of these are real species of grass? Moose hair. Oh. Wide-tonged buffalo slurry. Okay. Bastard monkey grass. Scoundrels must. or Timothy.

Timothy grass. Wide tongue, what was it? What tongue? White-tonged buffalo slurry. I know, well, buffalo I know is a kind of grass. So that is very tempting that one. It sort of falls off a cliff late, doesn't it? Yeah, it does a bit.

Let's just have them all again, please. Moose hair. Like a buffalo. Wide-tonged buffalo slurry. Like a buffalo. Bastard monkey grass. Like a monkey. Scoundrel's mustache or Timothy.

The name of a scoundrel for ever heard one. I'm going to go with scoundrels mustache. Damn, I also want to go with scoundrel's mustache. Okay, no, I won't, but I wanted to because whoever wrote that deserves a point, even if it's not true. So then I'll go bastard monkey. All right.

Bastard monkey grass for Jess. Here's the answer. Moose hair. That was Jess Perkins. I thought a buffalo. I thought another bigger. That's my, that's my process. And I really appreciate you taking the game seriously.

Thank you. Uh, wide-tonged buffalo slurry was Dave. Do you think if I had not put slurry? I think you might have been a chance. Wide-tonged buffalo. Did you just end up Buffalo? No, I don't know. Wide-tong, but I think it needs something else.

Wide-tonged-tonged-buffalo. Buffalo fringe. Oh, fringe is wide-tonged buffalo fringe. Yeah. Wide-tonged-buffalo horn, maybe, something like that. Can I, can I release you from what I know you're, you're fighting with, with internally right now, I'm releasing you from the need to put slurry in every answer.

I just wanted to do one. But now, I think you have to commit. I wanted to do one. But yeah, there's a want and there's a need. This is why he's never lost. Yeah. Yeah, I go, technically I wasn't playing properly. I didn't even try.

The one time I was trying was question one. I got that one, right? And from that on, whatever. Scoundrel's mustache. Dave went for, I'm afraid. That was the house. It's so fun. though.

Don't you? Yeah. Jesus Christ. You have an absolute role. What's going on lately? And then Barsoom monkey grass just went for that. I'm afraid that was Nick the question writer. Very good.

Fuck off. It's not Timothy. It's not Timothy. It's not Timothy. That's absurd. That's such a funny answer. Timothy grass. Timothy, it's just called Timothy.

What? If I tried to lock it in and usually you'd be like, are you sure you on your? that in? Yeah. I know, it's a pretty kind of... Oh, it's fine. A bit like Timothy.

You know how there's like so many different types of lawn grass? Hmm. I don't... They all look the fucking same to me. Who cares? I don't know. My dad cares. That's who cares.

I'm not too. Who cares my dad? He's like, oh, it's raining. Get out there before with the fertiliser. All right. The next question comes from Andy Dunn from Ireland. Andy's daughter, Arian, this is the show, frequent contributor. Yes.

And he sent in a message saying, oh, it'd be really fun if you put one of my questions in and my daughter could hear it, you know. And I thought it was so lovely. But so I did do that. But the link he gave me had other things that I could use. So Andy didn't really send this in. But I've used, I saved that link. I'm right.

I'm getting another question for Andy. Great. Love this, Andy. And the question is, both questions were basically, what's a funny name for a racehorse. But this one specifically is, what is the name of the horse that made its racing debut in the Will Rogers Downs in September of 2017?

Oh, so it's pretty recent. Pretty recent. I thought we're going to be going back away later. Okay. So, okay, horse name 2017. That's right. While you're writing your answers, I'll let the audience know what the deal is with Timothy.

Nick writes, I just thought it was funny that the plan is just called Timothy. That's a people name. I love you working out there. According to Wiki, it is probably named after Timothy Hansen, an American farmer and agriculturalist said to have introduced it from New England to the southern states in the early 18th century. Upon his recommendation, it became a major source of hay and cattle fodder

to British farmers in the mid-18th century. It sometimes is also known as Meadow Cat's Tale, due to the cat-tail appearance of its flower head. But don't confuse it with Meadow Foxx. which is similar looking, but a completely different space. Oh, man, you'd feel like such a fool if you mix those two up. A bit egg on the face. Yeah.

Oh, my God. These are fantastic. I want to hear these in a race call. Maybe you could do that? Oh, at the end, after you read them all that, could you do a bit of these like six horses? I feel like you've got the better voice for it. No, I reckon you could do the. I'll try.

And that's that kind of, yeah. Yeah, that's great. All right. So the question is, what is the name of the horse that made its racing debut in the Will Rogers Downs in September of 2017. Here are your options. Jimmy the Nipple. Freddie Mercury's slurry.

Oh. Johnny Fun Pants. Glenn Gary Glenda the Goodwitch. Oh. Look it on there. Pop culture match up. Love that. 2017 though.

Or Bofa D's nuts. Bofa D's nuts. Bofa. How are you spelling Bofa? B-O-F-A. B-F-A. That's so far. It could be boffer D's nuts.

Boffer D's nuts. I love to buffer your nuts. Boffer D's nuts. So I think we're back to you, Jess. You got Jimmy the Nipple, Freddie Mercury Slarry, John, Johnny Fun Pants, Glenn, Gary, Glender, the Goodwich or Boffert or Boffered D's nuts. Johnny, Johnny Fun Pants. Fun Pants. I'm going Johnny Fun Pants, please.

Johnny Fun Pants locked in. Fuck, they're all really good. When Matt said these are all great, I'm like, okay. And Jimmy the Nipple is now. Quicker. Last to come into the gate. Oh, I see. They haven't started yet.

A bit of a warm. We're ready. And they're off. Jimmy the Nipple jumps well. Freddie Mercury Slurry coming just behind. And Johnny Fun Pants has an inside run. Glenn Gary. Glenda the Good Witch on the outside and well behind Bofferty's nuts.

Jimmy the Nipple with a great run here looking very strong. Poverty's nuts. Come on. Matt. Freddie Macquarie Slurry is coming outside. Freddie Macquarie Sourri. But it's Johnny Von Fowell. Drive on plastic

The wheel rogers down It's a big victory I put my life savings on that horse Which won the winner? Yes Oh fantastic Oh fuck up I'm back to Jimmy the nipple

I haven't watched the horse race It's maybe 15 years But it's still there But is that that's kind of our case Yeah That was so great That was exhilarating I can't with I witness that in person

Honestly sharp as three tacks you are Wow and that's without surrender It's incredible Look if he gets shy But it's true That was actually so good. I was really good. I loved that.

So Jessica and Johnny Fun Pants. Thinking, I'm torn between Jimmy the Nipple and Both are D's Nuts. I feel like that would, like if you are... Like being between a rock and a hard place. I'm stuck with Tony Nipple and D's Nuts. If you're getting the caller to yell out, both are D's nuts, both are D's nuts. And across the line, it's both, like, you know,

I think that would stand out to people and go, that's fun. So I think, but Jimmy Nipple is just a funny name. Yeah. they're all funny you're not interested in freddie mercury slurry of course i've considered that i hear the word slurry and i think did i write this kind of crazy coincidence that the correct answer has the word you've been

and just locked in what's the one i haven't mentioned there uh glen gendary glinda the good witch that's really funny that's really funny i think i'm gonna go with bofer d's nuts or boffa d's nuts okay i'm gonna lock in boffer for dave here's the answers Freddie Mercury's slurry was actually Jess. Really?

Yeah. Oh my God. A new twist on an old classic. Yeah. Did a little doff of my cap there. It's great to get Freddy in there though. Yeah, it just came to me. Yeah, that was the first sort of person.

It just came to me. Yep. Jimmy the Nipple, that was the house. That's good. That's a great horse name. Nipple is funny. Yeah, nipples is a funny. Nipples are funny. Yeah.

Glenn, Gary Glenda the Good Witch is also the house. That's very good. Now, Jess went for Johnny Fun Pants. Dave went for Bofode. nuts, meaning one of you is correct. Johnny Fun Pants was Dave. Yeah, process of elimination there. Buffetties nuts is correct.

A good round for Dave. Thank you so much. Johnny Fun Pants. Yeah, what do you reckon? Walk me through it. Honestly, I chose it because it was the least crass, but still a bit ridiculous. I think I thought of Fun Pants first. And then you just went Johnny.

Yeah. You find Gary Glenda the Good Witch crass? No, yeah, that one's not crass, but honestly, it probably would have been more tempting to me if it was more recent. The 2017 is pre like the wicked movies. Obviously people were aware of Glinda. But for those who were, you know, around in the 30s. Yes.

The film was huge. That's right. But obviously a bit of time. A bit of water's gone under the bridge since then. That's right. So Dave gets maximum two points in the third round. Ram. Out of two.

Okay. Meaning at the halfway mark, Jess yet to score. But Dave in the house, each on three points apiece. See, at this point, I decide to play golf rules. Yeah. And just now I want to maintain zero the whole time. Oh, no, you come home strong. Remember, final rounds worth triple points.

You're good at the movie one. Can I just tell you that I'd had this question written out and I'd picked another horse from the list. But I found out, just did a quick search of my database, of course. questions. I used it about 20 episodes ago. Oh, wow. And the horse name, I can't believe when I remember it, but the horse's name was big tits. No way. I'm like, how can I not remember? I feel like, I'm just picturing you two having a great time with big tits. Yes, and also the horse. And it was like a French horse

and the story was that the trainer, her son, they were sitting around the dinner table suggesting names and the son said, I don't know how to say, but it's something like Gromichelle or something means big tits in French. And the mum's like, we'll never get that passed. But what about we'd do it in English? So the French board just like didn't realize and pass it through. Normally, apparently the French naming board would check with the English racing board and vice versa to make sure horny name or, you know, like inappropriate names don't get through. But they're like, Once it gets through it, you can't do anything about it. Big tits made it through.

That's very funny. That's very funny. Wasn't such a good race source. Well, no, too top heavy. And once it's through, you can't rename a horse. It gets confused. Yeah. Yeah.

Last of the week I was big tits. Now someone's calling me, I don't know who they're talking to do. Big tits, I don't know. It's just maybe the, I don't think there's a funnier possible name for a horse. Because it's just like, it's not like hoofhearted where it's like, it's a bit, it's a bit clever. This is just, it's not clever. It's almost like a truce. child named it.

And then the mum being like, that's great. How do we get it across the line? Yes, big tits. That's funny. I've got to look at big tits in French. This is not a safe search. Some great stuff's coming up for that. I think first type in like French to English translation and then do it.

Don't write big tits in French. Surely cleavage. That sounds French. Yeah, clavage. Oh, to come up with a few of them. Gros Nichon. Gros lullo. Grownies.

Okay, lots of words. Lots of word for tits. Much like in English. Yeah, true. All right. So, question four. This one comes from Matthew Boar from Victorian Canada. The question is,

what is the name of the Transformers character released in 1987 with the ID number 63? That doesn't, that's not relevant, but it's just to make it specific. Yeah. Because a few new ones came out that year. So what's the name? of the Transformers character

released in 1987 with the ID number 63 and it was released in Japan but what is the English translation of that Japanese name while you're writing your answers here's a little more info about Boffer these nuts

it was folled on the 7th of March 2015 out of Oklahoma and in at 17 races it won twice Wow so about as good as Dave at this game. I wish I won twice.

Yeah, a win for both of it's nuts, I guess. Hey, well, you're still writing your answers, let's go for a quick break. All right, we're back, and here is question number four. What is the name of the Transformers character released in 1987 with the ID number 63? Here we go.

Flaming Rockman. Oh, I like that. Depression Prime. Laser cock. Big Titsetron Or alpha hole Alpha hole Alpha hole

Alpha hole The number one hole Now if I'm trying to remember where I think it is your turn to go first day I believe so Can we hear them one more time They're also great Flaming Rockman

Now coming into the gate Flaming Rockman Depression Prime Laser Cock Big Titsetron Or alpha hole Oh my God That's hard

It's really hard. Like, 63? Surely this is like 5603. There's run out. There's not that many yet. Yeah. Oh my God.

Is laser cock spout? As you'd expect. L-A-R? L-A-S-E-R. Sorry, the joke being that. It was like I was asking about cock, but then I was talking about laser. Do you want to get a-

Yeah, it's always good to explain a joke. And then I miss start laser with a Z. Like it's like, Is it misspelled or is that the American spelling? Yeah. It's just a different kind of spelling. They love Z, they love Z, over there. But it makes sense.

For that one, it absolutely does, especially, yes. And it was Josh Earl who explained to me why Americans say arseys. It's because to them, that's how you pronounce A-U-S-S-S. Because I'd spell it was Zeds. Oh, we're not. I'm like, boom. I blew my tiny mind. It's like the wizard of ass.

Yeah, arsees. You arsees. Yuck. I love you arseys. Okay. Jesus Christ. Flaming Rockman. Depression Prime. Big Titsatron.

I'm ruling that. Alphahol, maybe. Is it crazy? Is it crazy to go for, I'm going to go for Laser Cock. Okay. I know that's crazy, but they're all like ridiculous. They're all bit crazy. I'm going to go Flaming Rock Man.

Flaming Rock Man. Okay. All right. Lock them for Jess. He's who wrote the answers. Can you want big titetron? I mean, I wanted it. Dave would have had that figure for sure.

Oh my God, yeah. Mom, I want big titicotron. You flick a button, the chest pops out. Sorry, they only had flaming rock man. Oh, I had heaps of them. All right, here's already answers. Big Titsatron was Jess Perkins. Where do you get your ideas?

My own life experience. Oh, okay. No further question. Alpha hole. That was Dave Warnacky. A-hole. life experiences. That's good stuff.

I didn't even think about, I thought alpha and that a funny word would be good. Hole. It took a while to get to hole. I was also thinking, I was thinking alpha cock for a while. Right. Yeah,

but I thought is that a bit much. And then I ended up locking in the cock one. Yeah. Locked in the cock. Actually, you know, alpha chin or something like that would have been a pretty good one.

Depression Prime. That was Matthew, the question writer. That's funny. Okay, the house. Jess went for Flaming Rock Man. I'm afraid that was the house. Dang.

The correct answer is laser cock. Oh, you are on fire. Like a Flaming Rockman. That's the best one out of, like for a toy, that's the one I'd buy. Oh, okay, yeah. So this was, this was an animal series, like a beast formist thing. And it was a chicken. Oh, okay.

Oh, that's less fun. What you were picturing. I want a dick that shoots lasers. Are you kidding me? We all want that. We all want that. Like, why are you like, oh, what were you thinking? Of course.

I want to shoot lasers out my dick. This guy. Unbelievable. I don't know what I was thinking. That's not stupid questions. Yeah. Sorry. Okay.

As I'm upset. I'm embarrassed. I want to have a dick and go, beo, beo, beo, oh, I'm so embarrassed. He's coming from you,

king of thrust. Oh, true. You don't want to have lasers coming out of that? Yeah, imagine. Imagine. Too powerful then. Could you edit in some lasers next time?

Or could Connor do that? I think we should, I think we should think about that. Yes. Maybe the Transformers theme song. Thruster. Lazers.

I think it might do a theme song special. Yeah. Oh, that's a good one, yeah. I'm a thrust to the Who Knewit theme. I hope you don't. I think that could be really good. That's thrustable. That's very thrustable.

Yeah. Although I've yet to find a song I can't thrust too. That's true. Baywatch should be a good thruster. Oh, yeah. Slow-mo. Son and damn, a silent.

Afraid to step into the life. That's great. I'm thrusting already. All right. Question five comes from Emma Perton from Perth in Western Australia. Oh, that was one for the plosives. Emma's question is, according to the British Museum, what readily available food stuff was prescribed by some early medical practitioners and why?

Back in the day, you know, a weird... A common food thing. Something that you can still get today. Doctors in early medical times and they... There wasn't a lot of science behind it. Yeah. They would prescribe common food. So what was the food?

Mm-hmm. Or what was the food stuff? Drink food, whatever. And what was it said to be its positive effect or whatever? While you're writing your answers, here's some more info about laser cock. Matthew writes, Lasercocococ is the English translation of the character Razakaku. pronunciation required.

And it's from the Beast Formers Japanese comic. He's a rooster head essentially just slapped onto a robot body with no real laser-based power. He is, however, an aerial tactician as part of an elite aerial guard where not battling laser cock

lives a humble life, being with his family and throwing get-together. Oh, that's nice. He does have a toy though. It is a mini-figure that doesn't even transform. He is hoping one day laser cock can make his way

to the big screen. Now I also did check this out and since I reckon Matthew submitted this question there's been a lot of online discourse about this translation of the name. It is disputed and it now seems like in recent times the more common translation is actually razor clock.

No. It's gone from laser cock to razor clock which I think is also a lot of fun. Yeah, I do actually enjoy that. At first I was like, how can you top laser cock? But razor clock is actually pretty fun. Yeah, Rosa clock is heaps of fun. Yeah, that's fun.

I enjoy that. Whenever you're ready, Dave. And it does seem like, so it seems like, razor can be translated as laser or razor. Right. But they're two different things. And people are like, this rooster guy doesn't shoot laser anything, but he does have these big blades.

We think maybe it's actually razor. Okay, yeah. That's confusing. you know if you're like going to shave and you're like honey have you seen my laser you know oh yeah is that something i think that is everything you should write that down all right so the answers are in for question number five what readily available food stuff was prescribed by some early medical practitioners and why here are your options avocados were thought to increase fertility in barren women option two lemons were recommended for increasing life expectancy with the idea

that its sourness would scare off death. I don't hate that. Option three, three egg whites twice a day to help breast growth. Option four, cream to be injected into the ear with a syringe to clear the sinuses. Okay, that feels like a day. He loves cream. Is it because I had this creamy drink? Yeah.

Or finally, beans were recommended for men with low libidos as it was thought erections were caused by internal pressure and wind inflating the penis. That's just like Jesse does love erections. I love erections. And beans. I do love beans. Mm-hmm. And erections.

Okay. So you've got avocados, lemons, egg whites, cream or beans? Uh, lemons. Lemons. God, God, God, God, God. That's not one of the options. I'm sorry, I'm asking to find a friend. You're friends with God?

Yeah. Talking the one true God? He probably went out. Yeah, no, the fake one of the fake ones. It's just your nickname for one of the boys. Yeah. God, you should say him. He's fantastic in the forward pocket and whatever that means. I'm going to go with...

You know exactly what that means, Dave. Don't try and make it sound like you're... You don't know what you're talking about. Come on, mate. I should have said he's fantastic and silly middle. Okay. Egg whites for the breasts. erections

beans for erections cream for sinuses lemons for increased life and avocados for fertility how about we go with eggs for breasts eggs for breasts

thank you locked in Dave now here's who wrote the answers avocados were thought to increase fertility in barren women that was the house lemons

oh hang on cream to clear the sinuses, just so that was Dave, and Jess was correct. He loves cream. I love cream. And ears. You are a creamy little boy, out you?

Yeah. I love cream. I know. I thought I started with the injecting syringe first, and I thought, what liquid, and I just went for cream. Obviously, it's a bit hack,

because it's not hack at all. I just, I know you. I like cream. I know, bud. I like cream. We've said this a few times. I like cream.

lemons just went for lemons increasing life expectancy I'm afraid that was the house that felt so believable yeah people back then they were dumb yeah

but like you can see it's so sour and full on it's got to be doing something it burns that's gotta be good like you know they have an ice bath or whatever like it fucking sucks yeah it's good

yeah people are gonna look back on some of that stuff ago it's so funny absolutely of course they were suffering cold shower every day you fucking idiot I finish every shower

with cold Do you? How cold? Like as colds it goes? How long? How long for? A few seconds? Like 30 seconds.

I repeat. I repeat a rinse. If I've watched my hair, I do the hair and stuff. In cold. Then I turn around. Stretch the full body stretch, touch my toes. Turn back around. About 30 seconds.

Wow. Complete. So you do a full. You stretch over so you're letting the cold water get straight on the north. Right. Yeah. It's like, you know, Like some people will let the sunlight kiss their anus.

Yes. Anus. Yes. I don't know I said it funny. It's fun to say anus. Oh, maybe it was 15 years ago. I like it. I've moved on from there.

I haven't. Oh, you're back to anus. I've gone back to anus. You can't full circle last. Anus is like, what are you doing? You're like to blast your anus with cold water every morning. Yeah. Try the summer and wake me up.

You do that in winter as well. Yeah. You're a freak. Yeah, but look how goody looks. Look how goody looks. I know, you're glowing. Your butt is so glowing. Sorry, for the listeners, I'm showing my, my ass.

Yeah, I know. I would have called it the brown. I don't answer that word. It's not long as the brownness of the gold eye. Goldenite, look at that. Yeah. It's actually, yeah. Called me 007.

Call me Pierce Brosum. You got a piercing golden line. Ah, something, something. All right. So, three egg whites, twice a day to help with breast growth. That's what Dave went for. That was Jess. Jess is on the board.

Well, done. The pervious one was Jess. Thank you. It was tits again. Yeah, but it felt like something that Like a pervy doctor from the 20s would say Oh, you've got to get some bloody estrogen in there Yeah, yeah

Have the egg wide in there Probably is out of all of them maybe I have no idea You could almost If you read that in a scientific thing tomorrow you go Yeah Oh, there you go Okay

Yeah But well done Thank you so much I'm pretty disappointed to be on the board actually But that means that no one got it right It was beans to help with erections Wow Can we do the leave?

Yeah, hear it again. You love baked beans, and you're nearly always erected. Exactly. Probably they'd correlation and other such foods, either flatulent foods or windy meats. And they were thought to fill a man, like they thought the key to an erection was like just filling the body up with gases. So it would sort of like blow up like a balloon.

But like you're trying to have sex and you're really gassy. Nightmare, not nightmare. I mean, there's worse ways to be. But they're not great. They're certain Irish authors from the past too. Would have enjoyed that very much. Absolutely. Certainly prescribed of these sort of ideas.

So that means Jess is on the board and the house gets another point. The house is pulling away here. So going to the final round, Jess is on one. Dave's on four, but out in front on five points, it's the house. But this final round is worth triple points. Do I have a chance? Still truly anyone's game. You get Dave and you guess it right.

You win. Okay. I'm just going to do that then. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, I think I'm just going to go to that. Last week, you know, it happened. It didn't used to happen, but it started happening where people are Bradburying it.

I think I've done it before. Yeah, well, I don't know for sure. You started a trend. Yeah, I'm pretty cool like that. All right. Question six, the final question. Comes from Harry Green from the Isle of Wight. And normally we finish with the movie synopsis, but this time we're doing a comic book synopsis.

Ooh, haven't got that before. That's a bit fun. Question is, what is Superman's storyline in action comics, issue 289 from 1962? Okay, 1962, Superman. Yep. What's his storyline? Like, an issue of a Superman comic, action comics issue 289, what was his storyline? So like a movie synopsis, only this is for a 1962 comic book story for Superman.

Yeah. While your answer is being written here. some more info about those windy meats. According to Tasha Marks, a food historian writing for the British Museum, when we think of Aphrodisiacs, we tend to think of luxury foods, lobsters and champagne, oysters and strawberries. But these delicious foods are probably the least interesting aphrodisiacs I've come across. Though the use of Aphrodisiacs goes back millennia,

historically they were seen first and foremost as a cure of infertility. Less about titillation and more about the task at hand. In the early modern period, lust and fertility were seen as inextricably linked, with pleasure integral to conception, making Aphrodisiacs both functional and recreational. Aphrodisiacs were more than just sexual curiosities. They were a crucial element in the struggle for fertility. It is a bonus that food floods the brain with endorphins, causing people to feel more relaxed, happy, and perhaps even more sexy.

If you've ever factored a date's restaurant choice or cooking skills into your decision to go to bed with them, then you've experienced the aphrodisiac qualities of food. Cooking and eating are essential activities. They simulate smell, sight, taste, touch and sound. And then she lists her top five historical aphrodisiacs. But the number one is beans. Writing early modern medical discourse was dominated by the ancient concept, that the body was made up of four humors,

blood, yellow bile, black bile and phlegm, which all existed in a delicate balance. The differing levels of these humours within a person created their individual constitution. Aphrodisiacs that warmed the body, added fuel to the fire of sexual desire and counteracted frigidity, which was recognised as a common cause of infertility.

The barren woman was cold. but equally too much heat could destroy your seed. One group of foods that you might be prescribed if you were overly hot was windy meats, aka beans and peas. Windy meats were prescribed. So they're not meats? No.

Okay. Does meat go back far enough that it was like a broader term for foods? I don't know. I'll look that up in a second. Winnie meats were prescribed for men in particular who were considered to have a hot constitution. Windy meats were recommended as they thought an erection was caused by pressure and wind inflating the penis, hence flatulent foods. But she writes, personally, I don't see how farting in bed could be seen as erotic.

Yeah. All right, the answers are in. Here is the final question. What is Superman's storyline in Action Comics 289 from 1962? In this issue, the Cape Guardian of Metropolis tuned into a new power that let him see the near-feiting. future. He began rescuing people before they realized they were even in danger, plucking them from their lives and placing them down gently nearby. But it turned out the visions he was having were not the future at all, but fictitious imaginings of Lex Luthor,

who was delivering them directly into Superman's brain for his own nefarious reasons. Oh, that's darsely Lex Ler Luther. Jesus is dustedly. Oh, so hot though. So, sexy. So that dome, I can. Oh, close shape. Oh, yeah.

In the movie, the recent movie is played by Nicholas Holt. Oh, yeah. Oh, yes. What's he look like with the dome? Does he have the dome? Honky. Honky bruce, does that mean, anything to you? Yeah.

Hubba, hubba. Option two. Superman starts hearing complaints from not only humans, but from animals and even plants. Oh, wow. Completely overwhelmed, he has a nervous breakdown. Complaints from plants. Oh, Jesus, another wind.

Dogs pissed on me. You go and the dog's like, oh, God, there's bloody plants. I've been watered in days. When Clark Kent goes AWOL from his job at the Daily Planet at the exact same time, questions finally start to be asked about the mysterious hero's true identity. That's option two. Okay. Option three, the metropolis telephone company goes on strike and locks all of the telephone booths in the city,

made him impossible for him to change into a Superman outfit. As crimes skyrockets in the city, Clark, must covertly engaged in the city's bureaucracy to end the strike. Option four. Supergirl, Wari's Superman will never meet the right woman. Playing Cupid, she travels back in time to try and hook him up with Helen of Troy, but to no avail. Similar attempts to find a partner in the future and on another planet fail.

When Superman discovers her plan, he tells her he has no time for love as protecting Earth is his number one focus. And besides, if he were to marry, it would be to someone awesome like Supergirl, but unfortunately that's not legal because they're cousins. Or finally, Clark Kent has a day off work and goes to the beach. He has a picnic, goes for a swim,

and gets an ice cream. When he returns home, he discovers Metropolis has been destroyed in his absence. Fuck, you'd be furious, wouldn't you? Yeah, like, I can have a one day off. One day. And the city's destroyed? Destroyed.

Oh, great. Oh, great. Okay. Jeez, all right. I knew I shouldn't have got that second scoop. Okay. I guess I'll have to turn the world around the wrong way and reverse time, whatever I do in some versions of this.

So I guess Dave's looking that one in. Five minutes. What's your go first, Bob? Well, yeah, I'll leave that one for Dave because he can lock that one in just to make it more interesting. In a second, I'll look it in here. I think. Can we have a quick summary of them?

It is there. What are there five? options, three of them, he's stopped. Yeah, he stops what? He stops doing the classic Superman job of saving things. Oh, okay. One, because the plants can't stop yapping. Yeah.

One of them, because he just wants to have a day at the beach. And the other one, because the bloody telephone booths all make, like, well, great. How am I going to covertly do things now? I just don't really change. Superman is furious. So, Anthony, what are the other ones? Um, to a little reminder.

then Supergirl trying to play Cupid Yeah, I liked that until the very last sentence And Lex Luthor Don't pretend future things It's probably that one The Lex Luthor one I reckon Hlocking it in

Hlock it in Right And David Well he's already made his choice Oh no, I'll let you say it again If you're like Just so Connor's got a clean out of it Yeah, okay great

Well I'm really tempted to buy the beach one Yeah But because Jess was keen for me to do it I'm not falling for it. What do you think? Double bluff. It's a double bluff. There is something about Jess

that has a little bit of Lex Luthor about it. Absolutely. I'd love to see a dome. Yeah, both very hunky. I've had a lot of Botox on my dome actually, so it would be smooth as hell. That's a tight dome. I've got the dome of a 20-year-old woman.

All down, 31 injections all through my skull. Oh, 31. And neck and... You'd think they'd just see 30. That must be annoying for someone like you. Save one. Well, you can leave one. Hey, get that for yourself, I said, to the neurologist.

Hey. Hey, why don't we save them up and make my 30th visit free? Yeah. Or it would be 31st, Dave. You'll know that and that'll probably be frustrating here, I know. I don't know. Yeah, we'd be 31st, wouldn't it? Because you have to go 30 times.

And then there's 31st. Yeah. Yeah, okay. Sorry, Dave. I knew that would be pissing you right off. here as well. That's maybe not want to lock in the beach actually. Okay. So quickly you've got... Why does the real answer get punished?

You've got Lex Luthor Future. You've got complaints from at plants. You've got locked phone booths. You got Supergirl Cupid or you've got Day at the Beach. It's so funny that one of these is real. I think I'm going to go with the Supergirl one. I think the line at the end being put you off is like, but their cousins. Yeah, yeah. Maybe they probably explore that a bit more subtly, maybe. Yes.

I'd be with you. If only we weren't cousins. Yeah. Well, her going back to find, it's like, yeah, like that. How about I get Helen of Troy,

famously the most beautiful person who's ever existed? Yeah, surely. She'll be available. Culturally a fit as well from a couple of thousand years ago. Yeah. Yeah, I'm going to go with that one,

though, I think. But I was very tempted by the beach one, of course, because it's like such a good idea. It's fun to like give whoever. I've ever wrote that some points. Yeah, I think that's a nice touch. Yeah. Yeah, I like to just share the love.

All right. Well, here's who wrote the answers. Superman starts hearing complaints from not only humans, but animals and even plants. That is the house, I'm afraid. I thought it was pretty funny. Oh, I think it's really funny. I think it's... Plants complaining is so funny.

And the 60s, you know? Him having a breakdown is funny, too. Plants, you know, peace and love. Like a tree, Superman, buddy, oh. I don't know what I don't know. man. The telephone company go on strike. I'm afraid that was Dave Warnocky.

Yeah, the telephone booths locked. That's funny. That's not funny. It's like, why does he just change somewhere else? Yeah. No, I have to solve this issue. That's good stuff. Clark going on the beach for a day.

He goes for a swim as a picnic. Which, of course, I was going to lock in. Oh. No, that was actually written by Jess. Really? Which, honestly, if you hadn't laughed at this. much I maybe would have considered. No, you would have.

It's not that, honestly, it's funny. I think for him to come back and go, oh, crap. Yeah, I reckon someone like that would have been written at some point. I finally laughed because it was very funny. And then, like you say, he can do that thing that takes away all the stakes where he just rewinds everything. So that's why. I had to Google, like, Superman live where?

Because I didn't remember the Metropolis. Oh, I had to that off the top of my dime. Can you believe that? I can. I've never seen it. Metropolis. And where's Batman from? Gotham.

Yeah, that's right. That's a point for both of you. Yes. Now... Is there a point for both of us? No. Oh yeah, I'll give you both a point. What about triple points?

Oh yeah, could we have triple points, both of us? No. Worth a shot. So one of you is correct, obviously. Oh, yeah. Remind us the two, yep. So Jess went for the one where Lex Luthor was delivering visions to Superman, And he thought that was the future, but it turns out Lex Luthor was being nefarious or whatever.

Well, that felt just too real, like not worthy of writing in, to be honest. And then Dave went for the one where Supergirl plays Cupid and the correct answer. One is the house, one is the correct answer. Lex Luthor one was the house. The correct answer is Supergirl matchmaking. Can I just say before I give you the final score check, I thought maybe you two could read the panel here. One of you has to be Supergirl

and then the other one has the more powerful ones from Superman. So I guess you'll be Supergirl? I'll be Supergirl. All right. So Supergirl kicks it off and then the rest is... This feels good. You're watching the video, everyone. Hello.

Yeah, this is right. Okay. So Supergirl, so you start it. I'll read this bit. Oh yeah, there's a bit of... After the Super Duo returns through the time barrier to their fortress in 19... In 62 AD. Superman, I have a confession to make. I wanted to arrange a happy marriage for you.

I failed both times. If I ever did marry, this is good stuff. It would be to someone super and lovable like you. We can't marry because we're cousins. The cousins can marry in certain countries here on Earth. We're both from the planet Krypton, where the marriage of cousins was unlawful. So yeah, Dave, I think you're right.

They weren't about it in a subtle way. It's so weird. Oh, thank you for the exposition, Superman. Is that his hand? Like, his hand is on her chin. Like, come here, Toots. Like, he's about to kiss her. Superman, what the fuck, dude?

That's very odd. But you might be thinking, oh, this is, like, some weirdos come in and taking this classic character and made it weird. No, it was one of the original creators. Schubert or Siegel or whatever.

Wow. Oh, isn't it Barry Finger or something? That's Batman, bro. Fuck. Don't ever call him bro again. Sorry, bro. That was horrific. Sorry, sis.

That's worse. Oh. Oh. Let me see. Let me figure out Rider. Hang on one second. Here we go. Rider.

Okay, here we go. Hang on one second. Here we go. Jerry Siegel. Who I believe is one of the creators. Is that right? Yeah, I just looked it up. Yeah, he was a co-creator.

So the co-creator wrote that. So it is full legit canon. That was fucking weird. That was super weird. It really felt like he was putting some of his own, I don't know. That was the love letter to his cousin he wanted to fuck. I can't. Obviously, I'd love to.

And in some states in America, we could. I'm sure we could, but. We moved there. Shelbyville, whatever. So we leave our family behind. One, our combined family behind. So strange. At least you're not having to like both, you're not leaving too,

families to run off together? Both for these families. You're leaving one. You've got to end it there. You've got to end the show on that. That was perfection. Yeah, that's great. Who cares about the scores? Who gives a shit? Nah, fuck it. Who cares? I'm not listening. Both of these families. Both of these families. Good night, Australia. Final scores. In third place with the bronze medal, on one point, it's just Perkins.

Woo! What about the bonus point? Oh, on two points. No, actually, but for my bonus point, could I please have my initial point taken away. I want to be on zero. Oh, okay. So your bonus point is a minus two. Okay.

Plus one minus two. All right. Leaving on zero. Please. Plus, I'm going to have to do plus one. Wait, so one and a minus two. Minus. Minus five.

All right. So final score in third place on zero points is Jess Perkins. In second place on six points is the house. Woo. meaning even without a bonus point you can still climb it if you want but on seven points the winner is Dave Warnocky Thank you I remain undefeated

Sorry if you could Sorry Jess why are you clapping for me? Stop clapping. Unfortunately Dave this goes out on the Duguayan YouTube channel now so people will be able to see that that is you Connor Make it look like Jess is clapping

Thanks Connor Well that brings us to the end of the episode where can people find you at my house oh but please don't no i love to be alone yeah i'll be there you can listen to our podcast do go on obviously um i have another podcast called just writes a romcom where i'm trying to write a romcom so cool can listen to that um j walk j walk or at jess perkins on instagram i'm very active over there oh yeah you are and you just it's just a it's always nice to see you slide along the feed yeah thanks I saw the rubbish that's going on

and the sadness in the world. Yeah, I'm just ignoring all that, staying ignorant, ignorance is bliss, and I'm just... Oh, I'm going to tell you about some stuff after this.

Oh, I can't wait. It's, yeah, I'm going to catch up on a few months of stuff, but it's, yeah,

it's, it's, well, you know, you know. What do you mean? Well, it's not,

not everything's going great. Oh, hmm, I'm having a good time. And Dave? A book cheat is back and rocking. My podcast where I've, I read the book so you don't have to.

Edit him out, I reckon. Matt, yeah. It's a bit rid to laugh over me here, Matt. It's my time to show. Back and rocking. Yeah, I read the book so you don't have to. The most recent one, I had Irvy Majumda and Cameron James on to tell them about Jack Kerouac's on the road. I've listened to that episode.

Did you? It was very enjoyable. That's quick, thank you. That's a reluctant compliment, but thank you. I'm going to tell you. I'm unhappy to say it, but that was really good. If you don't, if you're not aware of the Do-Go and Podcasts we do together, So it's like any of these little stories we tell,

and we stretch it out and tell us a long story over an hour or two and even up to five hours one time. And there's over 500 episodes of that. Check it out if you want to. And if you thought, God, these three, what chemistry they have? Well, that's been honed over a decade of podcasting together. You can tune in from episode one and hear it in real time. You can hear us becoming.

Dare I say enmeshed. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. Thanks so much for joining. It's always an absolute pleasure to have you two on the OGs.

Thanks, everyone for listening at home or wherever you are. Please give us a five-star review. Why not? Tell your friends, if you think anyone you know might enjoy this. And cheers for tuning in to who knew with Matt Stewart. And now that you know it, I've been Matt Stewart. Goodbye. Bye, no, baby.

Okay, I'm ready. I'm ready. Bomp-a-bong-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-oh. Oh, no. It's not good to have. that one in the head. Really? At one of the live shows in New Zealand,

a listener came up to me and said, I damned you a while ago saying, you've stopped saying the house weird and you've got to say it weird again. And she's like, and you started saying it weird again. I'm like, well, I'm going to go back and start saying it even weir again. So can we hear it?

The house. Oh, that's good. Is that weird? Maybe that's not that weird. Well, I don't think we're the right people to ask because we're quite used to you. Yes. You know what I mean? Yeah.

Like you could basically come in here and go frigate, dig it doogger, bug it. And we'd probably put it together. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Oh, he meant the house. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

We'd go, oh, Matt's hungry. I just said it in Swedish. Exactly. Yeah, because it feels like we're on to go on and I can razz you a little bit. But I wanted to say you've been debuting a little bit of the new material and new ideas. You've got you sort of run the buyer sometimes. and got to say, your mind is working fast than I've ever hit. Sharper than I think he's been in years.

Unbelievable. The off cuts, you go, that's nothing. I go, that's everything. If I had that, I get an hour out of it. Exactly right. And you're like, throw it on the pile. I know. So imagine how good the stuff that's in the show will be.

I just can't. I can't wait to see it. Shall we go together? Yes, and we'll see it in Melbourne. So you've already done it by that time. Oh, you'll be firing on all cylinders. What's sharper than a tack? Four.

Two tacks? You'll be as sharp as two. Who tax? Oh, plus three, there's a third tack. You'll be as sharp as three tacks by the time we see this show. I can't even believe how sharp that is. Yeah,

don't sit down, you get a sore bottom. That's right. Okay, well, I do love festival season in Australia. Comedy Christmas. So,

so many friends of this podcast now are doing shows, and it's just the best time to get out there and see some goddamn comedy. Yeah. I'm not there yet, but I might get there. I'm reserving the right. You'll get there 100%.

You know what I said the other day? I said, oh, crepe myrtles are out. That happened. I don't know. I'm 35. Yes, you do because they're the only other type of tree I'm obsessed with. When it's jaccaranda season,

I'm all about the chicanas. Now in Melbourne, as it's finally been hot for long enough, the crate my hurdles are out. And they're all over my suburb. And they come in many vibrant colors and I fucking love them. What's the, is crepe because they're like a crepe paper sort of thing?

They're like a very fine kind of. Which I guess crepe paper is like the pan, thin pancakes. Wow. What does crepe mean? Does it just mean thin? Oh my God. I've never even considered that origin. They are beautiful.

They're gorgeous. My parents have a vibrant fuchsia one in their backyard. Because your dad's out there before the rain with the... So yeah, you'll... You will 100% be a lawn dad. Looking forward to it. Yeah, I welcome it for you. Apparently it, a crape the word originates from the Latin word,

Christmas meaning curled, wrinkled or having curly hair. hair. Well, like, crepe, yeah, I guess like, crepe paper's often, like, a bit. And maybe the crepe myrtle flowers are sort of a bit, sort of crinkled. I like that. Anyway, that's what we're out in our lives. Timothy grass. Timothy grass.

That's good stuff. Because I'm out there with my fellow grass watchers and, you know, like birdwatchers. Oh, that's good, yeah. Shut up. I mean, uh, yeah, I don't know what you mean. That's not. That's not good. Some of you want?

We've gotten to the end of our day. Oh, yeah. The mask comes down. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. I've finished writing my answer.

Have you really? Yes. I smashed it out really quick. Now I'm just looking at my banking app. Going, whoa. Just checking going. Look at it. Look at all that.

Oh, look at all that cash. Yes. Does it fit on one screen? Oh, I'll go scro! All of all that money. Yes. Do I have some? No.

Oh. Okay. You know, I'm like, you know, lucky to be comfortable. That's what I'm saying. Can keep a roof over my head, can pay my bills. Yeah. I'm by no means wealthy. How can you pay bills with $6 million in cash?

Just. Okay. What? That is scoffing. What? Like, I just think. these answers are that good. That's what I do. I scoff when I think something's really impressive. Okay, perfect. He had, scoffer disness. He had the look of, what am I to do

with these children? Correct. Am I to do? Correct. Well, you know, to be honest, you're not going to be able to tell the difference between the real one, your stupid ones, and my stupid ones. Good. We're all on the same page. Honestly, dare I say that all three of us take turns having that feeling of what am I going to do with these fucking children? You know what I mean? Oh my God. At different stages, we're all that disappointed parent. Yeah, when you're live, doing a book cheat. And your guest just won't sit still. Honestly, it was so fun, though.

I was eating Skittles? What was the book, that one? That people want to hear. Which one? Around the world in 80 days, Jules Verne. It was more like around the room in 80. 80. ADHD.

Oh, that's why about it. She's back. I was always here. Not that day. weren't you were all over the place. I was literally not there for parts of it. A tight 90 minute show was edited down to a 60 minute podcast. Wow.

Anyway, love your work. Be the hips and thrust yourself. That's my life motto these days. Now, be the hips and thrust yourself. Be the hips. Yeah. And thrust yourself.

Thrust. Good. Good to know. Could you please get that as a tram stamp? I think that would be so funny. Yeah. I can do that. Yeah.

Thank you. in like a love heart with an arrow through it and then zoom out there's like a like some sort of a babe thrusting but the heart is now the crotch I guess or the hips

the hips it's like a hot skeleton so instead of the hip bones hip bones it's like a heart shape like the pelvis yeah and you've got like the moving sort of air sort of quotes to make it look like it's in motion. And then maybe when I'm sort of like bending it Monday's section,

it looks like the sexy skeleton is actually thrusting. And how do you know the skeleton is sexy? Does it have eyelashes? Yeah. Yeah, like I imagine someone draws it for you. Like, no, sexy. This needs to be sexier. Make the skeleton sexier.

One of yours would be close to one of mine, so I'm just going to change it quickly. Whose was it? one of yours one of Jesses um yep you're going to change yours you're going to change mine

do you want me to change mine no I can do another one I can change it I got heaps of I've done it I got heaps of ideas I can come up with anything

okay how about mushrooms that you had to put in your hair and let them grow into your hair and then you shave your head oh I didn't think you'd be able to do one worse than your first time um all right I can I can do much worse than that okay

how about a chili that you put in your shoe and then you get a spicy foot and you get your dad to lick it. Spicey dad foot. No, you are very good. Yeah, yeah. True good at being bad.

Yeah. Yeah. You keep topping yourself. Which, you know. So to speak. So to speak. But it's not a bad idea. So to speak.

Okay. All right, the answers are in. So just giving Connor an edit spot here. Oh, we don't respect Connor. No, I know that. Yeah, this is your show. I don't give a fuck. Nah, good on you, Connor.

Just whenever you're ready, Dave. I'm just scrolling now. I'm looking up every Superman comic ever. I'm memorizing the plot. You don't know what you're promising to. Beautiful. Apparently in old English, the word meat referred to food in general. Oh, I love.

Love me. Over time became... Do I go over for some meat? Yeah, I love some meat. Meat for some meat. Come around to our place, we'll have some meat. Oh, okay. What if you got?

Salad. For cashews. Yeah, I think, well, you know, I'm read that off the internet, so... Oh, internet's never... Probably sent me in the wrong direction. Yeah, other. So I can only assume that's accurate. Obviously.

You got Bill Gates there, fact-checking everything before it goes online. Oh, Bill's on there. I trust that guy. Connie, you can edit in my guns if you want. I just saw myself with the monitor. I was stretching. I was like, Jesus Christ. Oh, yeah, we fucking good.

Just because the angle of that monitor over there, it's all a bit out of proportion, and that looks pretty funny. Oh, that's good. That's really good. Thank you so much. Oh, my God. The answers are in.

I'm excited for this. Anyone's game. Obviously, we're a big, Superman heads here. Love Superman. Oh yeah, Jess, you're more of a superhero person than Dave.

Is that right? Poor. You're more Marvel than DC? Yeah. Have you seen the last 30 Superman movies? No. Neither have I. Did you see the last one?

No. No. So. I don't think I've ever seen a full-length Superman movie. No, I don't think I have either. The first one I saw was the last one. Was it good? Did you like it?

Yeah, that was pretty good. Yeah. I like it. I like the actor who played Superman. Yeah, he was good. I've seen him and other stuff and been like, oh, you were quite funny. I like you.

Yeah. Yeah. I was surprised because I'd seen her photos of him and I'm like, this guy doesn't look like Superman. But that's on the movie. I'm like, oh, it looks like Superman. Wow, when do you put that suit on? And he looks so, no, even like the photos of him at Superman, I'm like, it doesn't quite look right.

But then he looks so different as Clark can as well. Right. To the point where I'm like, I reckon in this version, I could. Oh, you wouldn't know. Oh, and that's through his performance alone. I guess so. Wow. And glasses, I guess.

Wow. And probably magic powers. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Goodbye, my babies. Jess, stop clapping. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. This is Matt's podcast.

Have some respect. Sorry, Matt. I thought that was fantastic. Thank you. We did it. Wait, is that everything? That's everything. Thanks for editing con dog.

Condog. You think I'm trying.