Who Knew It with Matt Stewart - 20 - Joel Duscher and Joel Zammit (Plumbing the Death Star)

Episode Date: January 23, 2023

Who Knew It with Matt Stewart is a comedy game show podcast hosted by Australian comedian Matt Stewart. This episode features Plumbing the Death Star's Joel Zammit and Joel Duscher!Check out Matt's stand up special FREE on YouTube: https://youtu.be/cWStRpI-BhESupport the show via http://patreon.com/dogoonpod and you can submit questions for the show!See the show live, get tickets via: https://www.mattstewartcomedy.com/Check out Matt's podcast network: https://dogoonpod.com/Theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and Logo by @muzdoodles! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, it's the titular Matt Stewart here just letting you know that me and Saranjo Amana are at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival. We're on every night. Chinese Museum and then for the second half of the festival at the Grace Darling Hotel and we'd love to see you there. Use the discount code DOGOON and we'll see you at the shows. Also in Sydney and Brisbane, the comedy festivals in both those cities with our show Dry Dry. We'd love to see you at all of those shows. Come to each one. Now, on with the show. Welcome to Who Knew With Matt Stewart, the show where the guests write the wrong answers.

I'm the tear chiller, Matt Stewart, and our first guest this week is from Sands Pants Radio. It's Joel Zammett. G'day, g'day. How are you? Hey, g'day to you too and how are you? I'm alright. Doing all well for this beautiful January. Oh, what a beautiful time of year it is whenever you're listening. Yeah. And our second guest this week, also from Sands Pants Radio, it's Joel Dusha. Oh, battle of the Joels. Yeah, it's Joel Dusha. Battle of the Joels. Yeah, it's a Joel-off.

Thank you so much for having me, Matt. I agree, it is a beautiful January afternoon, and it is a beautiful time of year, and I'm just happy to be here, and as always, playing to win. Oh, yeah. Yeah. No fun, no laughs, right answers only. Oh, no. I've come in with the opposite.

Okay, interesting. It'll be interesting to see which Joel tactic comes out on top. I want to lose and have fun. Well, you could both achieve your goals then. Yeah. Last time you were both on, Jackson Bailey was also on. He beat you. What the floor.

He really kicked our ass. It was a massacre. So this is so... What the floor? He really kicked our ass. It was a massacre. So this is the best of the rest. It wasn't even close. It wasn't even like, oh, and runner up. No, no. It was first place. Yeah, daylight second. I believe, if I'm

not mistaking, that Jackson beat us so badly that he'd equaled the highest ever score on the podcast at that time. Yeah, maybe still. Yeah. And he's the dumb one. Well, I guess not, to be honest. I think he knew the answer and tricked us to pick his.

Yeah. You asked him to come on today and we sent him off on a hike. All right, so the way the show works is I ask a relatively obscure trivia question and our contestants have to write a convincing fake answer. I then read their answers as well as the real one and have to guess which one is correct. Okay, are we ready to play? Oh, yeah.

We are. I also like that the odds are now in our favour. Yeah. Because we've got one less question. Oh, that's true. Odds are a Joel will win today. Yeah. The house can win.

The house, of course, can win. I'm not ruling it out. I was going to say, well, no matter who loses, a Joel wins. Well, maybe not. It's Joel v. Joel v. House. Yes. All right. Here's the first question.

This one comes from listener Anna. Back in the olden days, what was a knock knobbler? Back in the olden days, what was a knock knobbler? Thank you so much for the question. Yeah, that's great. Okay. And while the Joels are writing their answers, I'll explain how the scoring works.

So you get one point if your fake answer is guessed by the other contestant and another point if you correctly guessed the answer. And by the way, as Dusha just said, I'm also playing as the house. I've put in two of my own fake answers for each question and I get a point for each of those that our guests choose. So each of us can scrub to two points per round. It seems fair, but the probability actually favors me. The house.

And the house always wins. Although that is nearly never the case, to be honest. Anyway, our questions come from our great Patreon supporters. And if you want to submit a question, sign up on any level via patreon.com slash dugongpod, linked in the show notes. I'd just like to take this time to thank all of your beautiful patrons for subscribing, Matt.

I think they're doing a braver job than I've ever done. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think that's really sweet of you to say. Yeah. And it took a lot of guts. It took a lot of guts because off mic, you don't talk that way about say. Yeah. And it took a lot of guts. Took a lot of guts because off mic, you don't talk that way about him.

No. I'm like, hey, Matt, how'd the dude go on Patreons? Eating shit? Yeah, good. I would never. I would never. I'm a big fan of everyone

who's a fan of podcasting. I respect it as a medium. I mean, that's a universal truth, though. Everyone respects podcasting as a medium. Oh,, that's a universal truth, though. Everyone respects podcasting as a medium. Oh, yeah. Like you wouldn't believe. I don't lie to Uber drivers about what I do for a job at all. There's no shame involved.

There's no shame. Not at all. When someone's like, what do you do for a living? I say I'm a business owner and I leave it at that. I say unemployed. I certainly don't squirm. I say, what's the job? Sometimes I say entertainment, but then my partner was just like, that just sounds like you're in porn.

I'm like, yeah, that's much more respectable. Maybe I should start saying that. I've actively had to stop myself from making dating profiles in the past because when it's like what I do, I'm like, okay, I can either. My full-time job is podcasting and the only other major hobby I have is I'm in a band. There is no, like, it wasn't worth the time. No one is looking

at that and being like, oh, that's no red flag. Is that a white male with a beard? A podcast and a band? Oh, it's stupid punk music? Oh, even better. Alright, here's stupid punk music? Oh, even better. All right, here is question number one. Oh, yeah.

Back in the olden days, what was a knock-knobbler? Here are your five options. A device that would tap on windows at a preordained time to wake up nobles. That rules. The original name for knick-knocking. A person who worked for the church to eject unruly dogs and children oh i forgot that there's always going to be answers that i want to be true someone who would steal the door knockers off wealthy houses

or a bag of rocks that would sit in place of the family patriarch when they were unwell. Bag of rocks? There's a lot of good things. You're serving the table and, of course, a delicious meal for the bag of rocks. Matt obviously knows the truth here, but the tricky one with this is none of these sound like us. They don't all sound real, but they also all sound real. That's the problem. I want to lock in the church one. The church one?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Scaring the dogs away. Yeah, just the That's the problem. I want to lock in the church one. The church one? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Scaring the dogs and children. Yeah, just the business of the dogs. And I'm going to lock in the... Oh, no. Old-timey alarm clock is funny. Oh, Dan, that is good. But the bag of rocks!

The head of the table's a bag of rocks! You know, I... Bag of rocks. Bag of rocks. Bag of rocks. Bag of rocks. Right, douche is locking in. Bag of rocks. Bag of rocks. Bag of rocks. Right, douche is locking in. Bag of rocks.

I can't even remember the second half of the question. Yeah, can you just repeat that? I'm still locking it in, but can I just get a repeat of that? A bag of rocks that would sit in place of the family patriarch when they were unwell. Imagine being like, all right, dad's unwell. Maybe mum will be head of the table. No, like, alright, dad's unwell, maybe mum will be head of the table. No, no, no, no, no, no. Grab the knock knobblers. Grab the knock knobblers.

It was a scary children and dogs. And dogs, yeah. Let's love them together. Who wrote the answers? Okay. A device that would tap on windows at preordained times to wake up nobles. That was written by the house specifically anna the question writer that was a very almost got me on them sneaky anna that's what i call sneaky the original name for nick knocking

that was written by dusha someone who would steal the door knockers off wealthy houses that was zamit the joels were oh yeah on knock knock and we'll let go yeah that'll do it that means i That was Zammett. The Joel's were... Oh! In tune there. On knockers. Knock them all back down. That'll do it. That means, I believe, one of you is correct. Yeah. A bag of rocks that would sit in place of the family patriarch when they're unwell. That was the house. Good!

Dude! That is so good! I'm so mad! That means yours is right! That's true. The correct answer is a person who worked for the church to eject unruly dogs and children. That is also so good. That's a knock-knobbler.

Man, what a good job. Talking about, like, jobs to be proud of. There are two great jobs in history, clearly. The knock-knobbler and the groom of the stool. The groom of the stool. The groom of the stool who would be a little, like, I guess, a little boy, basically, to be, like, it was a really coveted position because that would be the person who would wipe the king, like, I guess, a little boy, basically, to be like, it was a really coveted position

because that would be the person who would wipe the king's arse. Oh! Matt's sweating because that was question two. He's had to, like, cross it out from the recording. Because people would be like, well, at least, you know, you got the king's ear for a good 15 minutes.

Well, his arse, anyway. You got the king's arse. Si, do you think you could perhaps pardon Mama and Dad for all the debt they owe you? Spin over there for a second. Thank you very much. Off we go. All right, we're up to question number two.

This one comes from Jim Bates from Sackett's Harbour in New York. Sackett's Harbour. Great name. Jim Bates from New York. It's good stuff. That is good stuff. And he's written a few of these kinds of questions in the past. I'm a big fan of his work with American sporting nicknames.

Oh, yeah. I think that's his specialty, special category. And his question is, what was the nickname of baseball player Gabby Hartnett? What was the nickname of baseball player Gabby Hartnett? And while you're writing your answers, here is some more info on knock-knobblers. There honestly doesn't seem to be a lot of information.

To be honest, there's just a bunch. All the dictionary websites have a very similar short definition, like this one from Word Genius, which writes, This quirky name was given to Elizabethan-era workers tasked with chasing unruly dogs and children out of churches. This was Elizabethanan era specifically, and that's what Anna wrote in the question. It was an Elizabethan era job.

Yeah. I vagued it out to give you a bit more room to move. Yeah, yeah, I know it's smart. To olden days. Yeah, I know it's smart. Elizabethan would have been way easier for a Stahomir. Oh, yeah. And the bags of rocks in the Elizabethan times.

Damn, imagine being a, like, a Cocknobler. Oh yeah. And the bags of rocks in the Elizabethan times. Damn. Imagine being like a cock knobbler. What's it called? Cock knobbler. Not cobbler? Goblin boy? Whatever it is. And then realizing that I guess it's a job that no longer exists because unruly children

and dogs no longer hassle the clergy. I can't. I don't think I've ever seen a dog in a church. What's it called again? Knock longer hassle the clergy. I can't. I don't think I've ever seen a dog in a church. What's it called again? Knock Knobbler. Knock Knobbler. Here's question number two. What was the nickname of baseball player Gabby Hartnett?

Gobby Gabby? Golden Hands? Old Tomato Face? The Heart Stopper? Or Jacques Fellatio? I hope it is Jacques Fellatio. I mean, look, dreams sometimes do come true, but alas, I'm not sure that's going to happen right now.

Was there a date about this particular baseball player? No, no date, but I think it was quite a while back. Okay, okay. I can't imagine it's like an announcement. And here on the pitch, Jacques Fellatio. I can't help but notice stuff like this when we do little fun game show

podcasts there was two answers there that have a similar theme which makes me think that they're both house

I don't know why I'm teaming up with you I'm trying to destroy you and you're winning which two

do you think well we got Gobby and we got Fallatio that's a good point I reckon yeah probably strike from the record yeah yeah Which two do you think? Well, we've got Gobby and we've got Fallatio. Oh. That's a good point. I reckon, yeah. I'm not even connected.

Probably strike from the record. Yeah, yeah. See, you didn't connect them. I'm always thinking. Okay, okay. Wow. Eyes are on the prize, and unfortunately, today, the prize was, I guess, blowjob-themed dances.

All right. So, let's just strike blowjobs from the record there. Yeah. Now, we're left with the, is it tomato face? Tomato face, golden hands, and heart stopper. Heart stopper. To me, I'm like, is it tomato? Old tomato face.

Old tomato face sounds too stupid. Yeah. But also perfect. I'm going to look at it. Baseball's a tricky one because, and like NBA as well, like something like the heart stop ball golden hands makes sense so it could be that that's what i'm thinking because or it could be fucking johnny johnny big nuts tomato face and everyone's chanting it for some reason loves to get slopped off he's taking the

bitch all right guys oh slop not serious i don'top Notarius He's hit a sixer I know that a lot of your audience Would be based in both of these regions But both the US and the UK At sporting events Have insane chants Both wildly long But very different vibes

Like the UK is always like You're a fat piece of shit and we hate you That's usually a chance that's sung to an opera or something yeah or sung to like an 80s post-punk song yeah and then us is like we're gonna win win win we're gonna fight and in australia it's just yeah we're not very good at it yeah are we? Anytime someone tries to start a long chant, everyone in the crowd turns on them and is like, I hate you.

I think they're all, yeah, they're just like the most basic offcuts from the UK and the US, I think. There's that one that goes, Something, something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Something, something. At the cricket, you get, you are a wanker. Yeah, yeah.

You're going home in the back of the Divvy. Yeah, yeah. You fat bastard, you fat bastard. You ate all the pies. I haven't heard that one for a long time. I imagine we didn't come up with any of these. I'm sure they were like the, you know, like when Paul McCartney wrote some songs

he didn't think were quite up to the Beatles and he'd give them to someone else. I reckon those chants were written by English people. We're not going to use these. Too uncouth for our game of football. This is not quite up to a Leeds standard. What's Australia up to? Send them.

Send them that way. So we grabbed those. Can I grab the answers again? Because I got distracted being silly. Gobby Gabby, Golden Hands, Old Tomato Face, The Heartstopper,

or Jacques Fallatio. The two blowjob ones Gabby, Golden Hands, Old Tomato Face, The Heartstopper, or Jacques Fallatio. The two blowjob ones seem just... I just... Heartstopper makes the most sense. But then because it makes the most sense, it makes me go, no. I'm going to go against my own rule here and log in. Log in. Lock in Gobby Gabby.

Okay. Gobby Gabby. Maybe Gobby meant something different back then. Also, it's not Australian. See, it gobbed off. Yeah, it's not Australian. So you get gobbed off. Yeah, it's chatty. I think it just means chatty. Oh, yeah, you're right.

Yeah. You get gobbed off. But that's also a UK thing, I think. Yeah, Gobby. No, like as in like gobbing off. Gobbing off. Yeah, but if it was like... Because a Gobby is a strange...

Well, it's like very specific strange. I reckon an age... If you're born in like a three-year gap, you might use it. I've just looked it up. Informal British. Yeah. A person tending to talk too loudly and in a blunt or opinionated way. And somehow that travelled to Australia and became head jobs.

Yeah. Isn't that interesting? I love culture. Me too. I really do. Well, you can sort of see how that happens. Yeah. What, did it go from gob job?

Gob job. Look at them. Yeah, gob job. Put that in your gob. Yeah. Gob job. Gobby. So you're locking in gobby gabby?

I'm locking in gobby gabby. And Zammett, you're sticking with old tomato face? Because you locked that in about three days ago. Yeah, it just sounds great. Alright, here's who wrote the answers. Jacques Fallatio. That was the house. What?

Shocked. It was actually an option from last week's episode for a whole different thing. I liked it so much. Jacques Fallatio is maybe the perfect name. Then we had the Heartstopper. That was Dusha. Golden Hands. That was Zamet. So once again, one of you is correct. Damn. That's insane to me

that Gobby is on the table. Gobby Gabby was also the house. God damn it! I was right! I was right! And Old Tomato Face was correct. Hell yeah! No! That's so funny because I didn't even connect that. It was right! And Old Tomato Face was correct. Hell yeah! No!

That's so funny because I didn't even connect that together. I called it straight away and fell for my own stupid trick. You did! Jim Bates wrote that one, Gobby Gabby, and then someone else wrote Jacques Fallatio. I just grabbed it across and I didn't connect the two at all. Yeah, so I didn't see gobby and think of the Australian version of it. He's thinking of flapping someone's gob, you know?

So that means after two rounds, the scores are on zero points. It's Joel Dusha. God damn it. In the lead on two points, it's Zamit and the house. Coming third in a two-person episode, Bluff. God damn it. Hey, it's anyone's game. So that means we're up to question number three.

This one comes from Tyson from Colac. Oh, good place. And the question is... That's a lie. It's a terrible place. It's very boring. I love Colac growing up. We used to stay at our friend's dairy farm Just outside of Colac

On a long weekend every year And it was the best So when I see Colac I think happy thoughts I think of a good friend Who lived in a one bedroom house That had two bedrooms But it was listed as a one bedroom place

Because the second bedroom had a big hole in it In the floor No one could live in the room But you could live in the house bedrooms, but it was listed as a one-bedroom place because the second bedroom had a big hole in it. In the floor. No one could live in the room, but you could live in the house. Yeah, it was an indoor-outdoor room. It was also on the second story, I believe, and they put a rug over it so you could feasibly fall through. That's fun.

You're halfway to having a home alone, so... Yeah, it's pretty fun. Hey, I didn't live there, so... I would have put a trampoline on the ground floor below it. Just in case. Had a bit of fun with it. Yeah. Alright, so Tarzan's question is,

which of the following band names is the name of a real band? So basically you've just got to make up a fake band name. And obviously it's probably not going to be a dull name. It's going to be noteworthy for some reason and relatively obscure. Although, douche, you do know a lot of obscure bands, so I'm hoping you don't know this one. It'll be so funny. I'm like, actually, Matt, three of those are real bands? And I'm the bass player of that real one.

While you're writing your answers, I'll let the audience know a bit more about Old Tomato Face. According to Jim, he was inducted into the Hall of Fame in 1955. Gabby Hartnett is one of the best catchers in the history of baseball, playing for the Chicago Cubs 19 of his 20 seasons. Old Tomato Face finished with a.297

average. Is that good? Which I guess is good. So he hits the ball 30% of the time. Is that good? What do you get? He bats 30%. He had a few strikes then, right? Three strikes before you're out. Famously. Three strikes, you're out.

That's where that comes from. Whoa, word epidemiologist? The history of words is etymology. It's crazy. He also had 236 career home runs. He's also the catcher in the famous photos and footage of Babe Ruth calling the home run.

You know how he points into the stand? Yeah. Hartnett was behind him. Whoa. He was sort of like the jerker, the back on which Jezza jumped. Yeah. Gotcha. In the AFL equivalent.

Okay. The Jezzalenko U Beauty mark Yeah, yeah, yeah Graham Jerker Jenkins was the one that the mark was taken upon Just great that Jerker is another nickname That also, well, it's not quite a gobby But it's a gobby related Jerker's a great nickname

It's gobby adjacent Yeah According to Jerk me off Rip Baseball His nickname Old Tomato Face came about because of his ruddy complexion. So there's a pretty straightforward reason for that. Okay.

It's nice that like, because I'm like, what was the Australian celebrity that had something kind of similar? Burt Newton. His old moon face. Yeah, it's good. It's like, we look at your face, it's red. I got an idea. Look at your face, god damn, it's round.

I got an idea. All right, so we're. I got an idea. All right. So we're up to question number three. Which of the following band names is the name of a real band? Okay. The Ba Ba Ba Barbara Ann Bar Band. The Jizz Jerks. Carrie O'Brien and the Contentious Issues.

The Long Sprocket. Or the Tony Danza Tap Dance Extravaganza. Without giving anything away, there's two bands there that have names that are either, that are close to real bands, and I don't know which one is the real band. I'm like a Tony Danza one I like, or the Ba Ba Ba one. I'm going Ba Ba Ba's. All right, Ba Ba Ba's. I'm going to lock in the Tony Danza one.

Tony Danza. Ba Ba Ba won't make me laugh. Because there is definitely a band, and I'm worried that this is the Tony Danza one. Tony Danza. Bah, bah, bah won't make me laugh. Because there is definitely a band, and I'm worried that this is what's catching me up, but I reckon that this band also exists. There's an Australian band called Ted Danson with Wolves, which is a great name. And I'm worried that that's where the Tony Danza thing is coming. Who was Tony Danza? Was he in A Happy Day?

No, he's- Never mind then. Was he- Who's the boss, maybe? Isn't he- Oh, this is bad. One of us should definitely know this. Isn't Tony Danza Full House?

No, not Full House. No, that's John Stamos. That is John Stamos. Not Bob Saget. No, Bob Saget is in Full House. Yeah, they're both Full House. I mean, it is a Full House. Tony could be in there. No, Bob Saget is in all of us. Yeah, they're both full house. I mean, it is a full house. Tony could be in there.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Old mate from Canada. Alanis Morissette's ex. Uncle Joey. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. You ought to know his about Uncle Joey. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

The real man. Yeah, who's the boss? And Taxi was the... All right, let's go through. There's also a movie called going ape oh my god must watch that's going on a list i don't know okay i barely know who he is yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah it's a short chic guy, all right? Okay, okay. Yeah, okay. A lot of pressure here. So the long sprocket, that was written by Zamet.

Where did you get that from? I think I knew a band called Sprocket on the Rocks. I've been thinking of sprockets recently. Fair enough. Sprocket's a fun word. It's a fun word to say. It's a fun word. Kerry O'Brien and the Contentious Issues, that was the house.

There was a friend when I used to work at a supermarket. We used to make up band names. Of the jizz jerks, that was Dusha. I wrote so many answers where I realized

I was then writing a real band and that dude was like, I was like, oh, this sounds all right. No, that's a real band. I wouldn't have known. This means once again,

one of you is correct. Damn. The ba-ba-ba-ba-, bar, bar, and bar band. That was The House, Tyson in particular. Meaning the correct answer is- Thank God! Tony Danza, tap dance, extravaganza. But do you know what this means?

Do you know who's now winning? Oh, yeah. The House. The House. The House. Oh, no. Divide and conquer. Quick score update.

Dusha on one 1 Zamanon 2 But out in front It's the house On 3 We have not guessed Each other's 1s Or even considered it Nah

The closest I got Was the long sprockets Or whatever you said I was like And then I was like That's similar to a real Band name And then I was like

Nah Nah No that's not real Alright We're up to question number 4 this one is by Carolyn Ruck from Collingswood in New Jersey

what was notable about Samuel J Seymour who died in 1956 what was notable about Samuel J Seymour who died in 1956 that's when Melbourne hosted the Olympics that's right what other things happened in the 56 and I said Carolyn 1956. That's when Melbourne hosted the Olympics. That's right. Hmm.

What other things happened in the 56? And I said Carolyn. It's Caroline Rock wrote this one. And while you're writing your answers, here's a little bit more information about the band. According to Tyson, the Tony Danza Tap Dance Extravaganza were an American grindcore slash deathcore slash

mathcore band who were active from 2004 to 2012 and released four albums the self-titled first album danza 2 electric boogaloo danza 3 a series of unfortunate events and danza 4 the alpha the omega their namesake tony danza's real name is anthony salvatore iodanza and he was a boxer before becoming an actor in the 80s in films like Going Ape, Angels in the Outfield, the classic baseball film, the TV series Taxi and Who's the Boss as well as a TV movie called The Garbage Picking Field Goal Kicking Philadelphia Phenomenon. Holy shit.

What a name. Holy shit. That's good stuff. According to Wiki, their humorous moniker is occasionally misinterpreted as older concert goers have attended shows in the hopes of seeing Danza himself. Yeah, that would be... Imagine how confusing and disappointing that would be. But who's going to a concert to see...

Who's seeing Tony Danza? I guess he's got fans. Are they thinking he's going to be tap dancing? I guess. Like, within two seconds of the band hitting the stage, a sound check would simply give away what's about to happen. Nah, what if you're like, what is coming on the next song? I guess.

What if you're going to tap dance to the next song? I reckon I've actually heard this band based on that description. Because I've dabbled. I've dabbled in those genres before. But yeah, their set probably would have gone for 10 minutes max. Probably would have been able to squeeze in 12 to 15 songs in that 10 minutes. And like maybe two to three tap dancing. And any of the elderly concert goers would have left deeply upset, I would imagine.

And not just disappointed, upset. Maybe it would have awakened something. Maybe this is my new jam. Maybe. All right, while you're still writing your answers, let's go for a quick break. As women, our life stages come with unique risk factors, like high blood pressure developed during pregnancy,

which can put us two times more at risk of heart disease or stroke. Know your risks. Visit heartandstroke.ca. Okay, your answers are in. Hey, great break. Good break. Good break and great ad reads, I can only assume. I had a really long time to write my answer in that ad break.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I love that. And you've got it in that ad break. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I love that. And you've got it in. Good and or service. That was just spoken about. I personally am going, yeah. I support it. I personally support whatever ad that was.

Yeah, 100%. Which is bold because there's a couple of rough ones. Oh, yeah. Hey, if I told you to join the army, I'll be right there with you. Do not stress. Buying diamonds? Me too. Love sponsorships.

So question four is, what was notable about Samuel J. Seymour, who died in 1956? Okay. He coined the term, cut off me legs and call me shorty. Great. That turns out to be right. My God. He was the only official casualty at the Olympics that year. It was the Olympics that year.

As I kept saying. He was the second person to climb Mount Everest after Sir Edmund Hillary. He was the last surviving person who witnessed Abraham Lincoln's assassination. Or he thought he was a seal and lived accordingly? Probably not the synopsis of Tosk. No. I'm going to go with Abe Lincoln. When did Lincoln get shot in the head?

The 1800s. I think it was like 18... I think it's like 1880. Yeah, if he was but a boy Seeing Lincoln get pasted But also Was there or saw it Because

Hard to see Was up Then witnessed it Well witnessed it I mean you just look over There's a dead president Yeah but you don't look over Slumped over

He was like on the balcony remember Yeah yeah you look up Yeah but you can't Yeah look up That's like on the balcony, remember? Yeah, yeah, you look up. Yeah, but you can't. That's not witnessing it. Nah, I'm witnessing it. Witness it. It's like being like, I was at Woodstock. No, you weren't.

Yeah, I was. You can't disprove this. I reckon it's a lie he told everyone. We're going to besmirch this good man's name. Well, we don't know if he was good. A liar who never even saw a president get like double, double-tapped in the back of their head. So there was the Abe one. There was the cut off my legs and call me shorty.

Great. I hope it's that. Or the other three. Official casualty at the Olympics and second person to climb Mount Everest. Boring, boring, lame. Second person to climb Mount Everest. Or lived as a seal.

Yeah, it's not lived as a seal. Imagine. Did you say there's a movie called Tusk with that? Yeah, boring, lame. Second person to climb that over. Or lived as a seal. Yeah, it's not lived as a seal. Imagine. Did you say there's a movie called Tusk with that? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Directed by Kevin Smith. A movie. Is there really? That's so funny.

And hey, it also, it was a riff on a podcast. And then it turned into a movie. He lived as a walrus, I'm guessing. Yeah, right. Justin Long. Yeah. And Michael Parks. How'd they get a movie out of that?

Kevin Smith was the person who was riffing on the podcast. He riffs. He riffs and can make movies. He has a camera. Well, can get funding for movies. I reckon I'm going to lock in Mount Everest because there's a lot of information there, but it's still succinct, so it sounds right.

Because they've thrown the other name in there. That's my logic. All right. Well, shall we go through who wrote the answers? He thought he was a seal and lived accordingly. That was the house. I've not heard of the film Tusks. Maybe it's just an idea that people, if they podcast

long enough, have. I would never think to make a movie out of it, but now I think my... You'd be a fool if you had the funding for it. You've got to realise that my idea is entirely different. This isn't a walrus we're talking about. This is a seal.

Entirely different film. Partly different species I'm happy for if whoever the sponsor well the sponsor yeah episode earlier if they want to give you

some funding to make this seal movie I'll also I'll jump in okay dollar for dollar dollar for dollar dollar for dollar

uh was the only official casualty of the Olympics that was run by Dusha yeah oh that means oh no, hang on,

he coined the term cut off my legs and call me shorty. That was also the house. Oh no. Meaning that

once again, one of you is correct. You've got it right, one of you each time. The team Joel

is doing very well. Hang on, so one of these is a Xanon one then? Yes.

And he wouldn't have picked his own one So I picked his Hook, line and sinker Fuck He was the second person to climb Mount Everest That was written by Zammett

With a bonus name God damn it Meaning the correct answer is He was the last surviving person Who witnessed Abraham Lincoln's assassination So double points to Zammett there Yes You've taken the house

Take that house No points to Dushan No points to Zamit there. Yes. Yes. You've taken the house. Take that house. No points to Dusha. No points to the house. Yes. Do you need a quick screw update there, Zamit? Yeah. I don't.

I'm not listening. So we've got Dusha on one point, the house on three points, but out in front, it's Zamit on four points. Yes. That's great. It's so notable. And I'm calling him a liar because he didn't see it. Yeah. Yeah.

It was on a... He might have heard it. He might have a liar because he didn't see it uh yeah yeah it was on a but you might have heard it he might have heard it didn't say it oh that means you got to hear the oh did you reckon he heard the uh is it sim in some something rex or whatever the imperious rex like the thing that what namor yells wow yeah imperious Wow. What? Yeah, Imperius Rex. Imperius Rex.

Is that what Namor's going to say? You know the Atlantean? Imperius Rex is the... Isn't that the dinosaur they make in Jurassic World? Indominus Rex? Yeah. I think that's what the guy yelled at. Oh, God, Indominus Rex. Bang, bang.

Your kids are going to love it. All right, so we've got question number five now coming from Steve Kayser from Sydney, Ohio, God's country itself. And Steve wrote the question, which of these is the real name of a species of rodent? Oh. Which of these is the real name of a species of rodent? So you're just going to make up a rodent name. And while you're writing your answers, here's some more info on Samuel J. Seymour.

According to Caroline, Samuel Seymour was just five years old when he attended the theatre with his nurse and godmother sitting in the balcony across from President Lincoln. So he did see it. It sounds like he was confused though, because when John Wilkes Booth... He didn't put it together that it was a murder. He's just like, commotion. And then he saw John Wilkes Booth jumping from the balcony to the stage, and the young Samuel was worried about him because he hurt himself. Oh, yeah, he broke his leg.

Yeah, so he's like, oh, no, that poor man. Oh, man, that poor president assassin. He hurt his leg. Two months before Samuel's death, he appeared on the television show I've Got a Secret, which you can watch on YouTube. I've Got a Secret. See for yourself if you think he's lying. He's got a secret. It's a lie that he told all his friends.

There's some sweet props. He's like, he probably got big every time he told it. Last time, he's like, oh, yeah, some of the president's blood got on my shirt. I killed Abraham Lincoln. I did with my own gun. Then I pushed John Wilkes Booth off and I laughed when he broke his leg. Yeah. I yelled.

I broke his leg too. I yelled Indominus Rex. I had all the ideas for Jurassic World and I killed the president. Frame that. Poor John Wilkes. All right. So your answers are in for question number five. Oh, yeah.

The question is, which of these is the real name of a species of rodent? Bucktooth scallywag. Great name. Hopping moose rat. That's good too. Jackson bailey. The marmos Set and Forget. Or Whistle Pig.

Whistle Pig. Lucky Whistle Pig. Jackson Bailey for listeners who have been a guest on this show a few times before. And I don't think I realised he was a species of rodent. He is famously a rat. He is a rat. Look, that could think I realised he was a species of rodent. He is famously a rat. He is a rat. Look, that could be the house. That could be either of us. It's hard to say who put that there.

Could have been Jackson texting him. Bazzammy or Locky and Whistlepig? Oh, yeah. What was the first one? Bucktooth Scallywag. I reckon I'm looking that in. Rats are bucktooth. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So what are the other ones? Backtooth. Bucktooth Scallywag. I reckon I'm looking that in. That's awesome. Rats are buckteeth. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So what are the other ones?

So backtooth. Bucktooth Scallywag. Hopping Moose Rat. Jackson Bailey. The Mama Said and Forget. Or Whistle Pig. Yeah, Whistle Pig. The only one that I think it might be, if it's not one of the two we just picked, was the second one.

The one that has rat in its name. Yeah. But then I feel like that isn't a name of a rodent. A Whistle Pig? I'm overthinking it again. But then I feel like that isn't a name of a road. A whistle pick? I'm overthinking it again. You got to think which one made you laugh the most. Whistle pick. I can't pick my own answer.

Apparently that's against the rules because it breaks the point system. All three of us lock in Jackson Bailey. The house locks it in too. Good answer. Being cruel to a friend that's not here nor listening. Can't defend himself. Won't even know about it. So are you going to stick with Bucktooth Scallyway?

Yeah, I'm going to stick with Bucktooth Scallyway. All right, let's go through who wrote the answers. Jackson Bailey. That was written by Dusha. Great answer. Bailey written with all capitals. And then a follow-up message saying those capitals were a mistake. I was worried you were going to say Jackson.

Bailey! Did your phone auto-correct it? All caps, Bailey. That's so funny because my phone auto-corrects Jackson, all caps. And I don't know why. I think my phone auto-corrects Jackson to Jackson with an M because I make fun of him. Because once when we did a podcast conference,

he got his name badge and it said Jaxom. And we were like, I reckon you have misspelled your own name. Did you just say you went to a podcast conference? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was bad. What happened to the shame you were talking about before? This was early. I was in Sydney.

The ABC ran it. It was real bad. Yeah, this was a very brief window, like the smallest window of time of like maybe podcasts are not shameful in other future and then that conference happened oh very shameful yeah everything really like really cemented how shameful it was i was like i don't want to be associated with any yeah except yeah the best thing to come out of it was jackson walking around with a lanyard said Jack Somme. That is good fun.

This is great. Someone being that. Maybe he's just handwriting. Maybe if it wasn't typed up, it was handwriting. Or maybe someone looking at that being like, oh, clearly they've messed up. Now, are they going to go with Jackson, a name? Yeah, should we double check it? Or Jack Somme? No one's ever been called that.

Let's go with Jack Somme. It's funny to imagine Googling Jackson Bailey and Jackson Bailey and being like, some of his socials do say Jackson. So Jackson Bailey was written by Dusha.

We had The Mama Set and Forget. That was The House. The Hopping Moose Rat. That was Zamet. I thought that was, you almost had him. I know, I almost had him. Maybe I went like hopping

moose like i don't know rodent or like something no if there was rodent in one i would have been like that's two obviously one of us instead douche went for bucktooth scallywag which was written by the house whistle pig and whistle is correct whistle pig never bet against whistle pig Whistle Pig? Never bet against Whistle Pig. Never bet against Whistle Pig. Whistle Pig always wins. Ah, damn. Whistle Pig rules.

Good time. Which means the scores are now Douche on one point, House on four points, but out in front still on five points, it's Zamit. And we've only got two questions left.

That's alright. I'm happy to chase my losses. They can't run forever. That's true. As soon as there is an hour, I'm like, that one's a funny day. Lock it in.

And you're like, yeah, you dilly-dally. You think, you think. I'm doing there is an album, I'm like, that one's a funny dad. Lock it in. And you're like, yeah, you dilly-dally. You think, you have to think it. Also, I'm doing something that I know that I'm allowed to do, but I'm just forgetting, is like, I can pick the same answer as you. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I just have not been doing that. In fact, the way that he keeps getting it right, you really should be doing that. I should have learned my lesson. You'll never catch up with that strategy, though. Yeah, that's true. All right, so question six is by Grace from New Zealand. The question is, what strange event happened on the 25th of September, 1820, in Salem, New Jersey?

1820. What strange event happened on the 25th of September, 1820, in Salem, New Jersey? While you're writing those answers, let me tell you a little bit more about whistle pigs. They go by a bunch of different names. According to Wiki, these include probably more common names, but less fun names like groundhog, chuck, wood shock, ground pig, whistler, thickwood badger, Canada marmot, monarchs,

moonak, weanusk, red monk, land beaver, and siflao. And I think, I mean, there's a range of goodness in there, but to me, whistle pig is the pick of the bunch. What's your favorite of those, Samit? I wasn't really paying attention. So you had groundhog, chuck, wood shock, ground pig, whistler, thickwood badger, Canada marmot,

monarchs, moonak, weanusk, redk, Land Beaver, or Siflau. I like the ground pig. Yeah, ground pig. I'm going to jump in. I know this wasn't directed at me, but Weena or whatever. Yeah, Weena. Weenusk. Weenusk.

Oh, Weenusk. Weenusk is good. Hey, you're a little Weenusk. Would you put that at a Whistlepig, though? Whistlepig's pretty great. I like Weenusk better. Okay. Hey, you're a little ween-osk. And would you put that at a whistle pig, though? No. Whistle pig's pretty great. I like ween-osk better. Okay. I like whistle pig.

Because ween, it sounds like you're calling someone a ween-er, but then adding a bit of flair. You're a fucking ween-osk. You're adding a bit of ween-er, putting a bit of noose in there. Yeah, it's all good. A little ween-osk. And there's like a kick at the end. Yeah.

Lovely. Yeah, it's kind of like. Yeah, it's good. It's good end. Lovely. Yeah, it's kind of like. Yeah, it's good. It's good stuff. Yeah. Words can be fun. I hope that's what your listeners take away from today. I think they.

Yeah, words can be fun. And learning can also be fun. Yeah. Entertainment has its place in society. You would obviously call this podcast edutainment. I would use that in the description. Oh, yeah, sure. The only podcast where you can be entertained

whilst getting an education. Ours is the opposite. Whatever the opposite of education is. Yeah, you're sucking mellagia out of the brains. That speech in Billy Madison about collectively making the entire audience dumber, that's pretty much our mission statement. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, yeah. All right. So your answers are in for question number six. What strange event happened on September 25, 1820 in Salem, New Jersey? An unexplained fire in the town hall

that only destroyed four books all about witchcraft. At the annual Salem horse race, a man flippantly said, if the favorite doesn't win, I'll eat my hat. The following day, he was then made to eat his hat in the town square.

I would have looked that one in so bad. So bad. These others better be better. Tomatoes were put on trial because they were believed to be poisonous. Arresting tomatoes is good. Tomatoes were at one point,

were considered poisonous because people would use them on plates and the plates had arsenic or something on it. And the acid in tomatoes would often basically set it off and people would eat it and think that the tomatoes were poisonous. That's a maybe. And aren't they also from the nightshade family or something? Most of them are from the nightshade family. So are potatoes. We are. Humans are. Humans are 90% nightshade family or something? Most of them are from the Nightshade family. Okay, great.

So are Potatoes. We are. Humans are. Humans are 90% Nightshade. You wouldn't believe it. And the hat one, that has definitely happened, but I don't know if this is the time it happened, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I mean, Werner Herzog famously ate his own boot. Yeah, that's true. That was good, yeah. That's amazing. He's a man of his word. Yeah, he was like, if this movie ever gets released, I'll eat my own boot. And then it did, and then he ate his own boot.

This is the 1800s when, look, putting things on trial that aren't humans is a very big thing. We had one quite a few episodes back where the French put pigs on trial. Oh, yeah, the monkey one as well. The English had a trial about thinking the monkey was a Frenchman. Yeah, yeah, yeah, the heartful monkeys. I went to... Heartful hangers? Yeah. Heartful hangers? Yeah, and then people call thinking the monkey was a Frenchman. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The Hartlepool movies. I went to... Hartlehangers?

Hartlehangers? Yeah, and then people call them the monkey hangers. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I forget. I always said it wrong. It's like Hartle... It's written like Hartlepool, but I think it's Hartleypool or something.

And English people hate it when you get it wrong. Oh, I do. I have a bad feeling that I just got it wrong then. Yeah, that's all right. It's Worcestershire. And one thing I don't understand about London is that they call all of their trains the tube. I don't get it. I don't get it.

Only some of them look like tubes. Only some of them go into, like, what is in essence a tube. Every time we're in the UK, people are like, don't call it a train, call it a tube. Every single train is a tube. I'm late for the train. No, thank you. it's late for the tube you know

I think it is Hartlepool Hartlepool I went there and there's like there's statues and stuff of monkeys and their local

maybe football team the mascot is called Hengus the monkey because they they hanged the monkey yeah they did so it's like Hengus with

H apostrophe Angus. That poor chimp. That last like, what is going on? I'm in silly little clothes that, oh no, my neck. Oh, putting a rub, maybe I'll get to climb this. Okay. Wild story. If true, I think there's doubt that it's even true.

There is some doubt, but let's see. Anyway, we're not even through the options. So we had the library fire. Yeah. Four books were burned all about witchcraft. Then we had the horse race where the man was forced to eat his own hat. So good. We had the tomatoes being put on trial.

Maybe. Then we had lightning struck the Salem church three times in a single storm, panicking the locals about the wrath of God. Yeah, okay. Or Gregory Grimnose. Oh, my God. Oh, come on. You can't be saving Gregory Grimnose for the last time.

You can't have great answers for every single one of them. Okay, Gregory Grimnose. Tell us about Gregory. All day Greg. Yeah, what did Greg do? He gathered a large crowd by telling them he had invented a way for humans to fly. He stood in front of the townspeople and without moving said, See, I just did it.

And if you didn't see it, it's because I did it real quick. The confused crowd politely clapped before dispersing. Uh-huh. Uh. I already took the wind out of my sails. Boy, that's such a great name. The best story about a guy flying is the guy who proved that he could fly, but in the same process killed himself by jumping off the Eiffel Tower.

Oh, yeah, in his little parachute. Yeah, it was good. Yeah, the parachute suit. It worked briefly. Very briefly. The hubris. Chuck, like, I don't know, a dummy down first. No, no, no.

No, no, no. No, no, no. I love that sort of belief, though. I know. I wish I had that kind of amount of confidence. Dusha, do you want to jump in here? Yeah, I'm going to jump in with... I reckon farmers would have been put on trial, not the tomatoes.

I'm going to jump in guy eating his own hat. I'm going to go with tomatoes because that's great. All right. That was kind of... Again, one of these hopefully is true and we can be happy about it. Yeah, yeah. I was thinking he's either going to be eating his own hat. Salem, though, seems kind of strange for it to be like a horse race.

Horse racing has existed for a long time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But did they? I mean, you could have, I guess, a horse race wherever. Yeah. Sing a food of the field. Paddock. Well, let's go through who wrote the answers.

Gregory Grimnose, who had an underwhelming story. That was written by the house. Yeah. I'm shocked. He had us in the first half. Which part of the house wrote that one, Matt? This part of the house. So, Zamit

That really cut deep When you Shot on it Lightning struck The Salem church That was douche See I was thinking That one

But it's too much Like Back to the Future Right I didn't even think About that When the The people of Twin Pines

Or whatever All Started fearing The wrath of God. The unexplained fire in the town hall that only destroyed the four witchcraft books. That was Zamet. Not choosing each other is good. Yeah, that's...

That means one of the... Once again, one of you is correct. Which means that one of these awesome stories is true. This is good news for anyone, really. You know who wins the list? Yeah, the history. The history books win with this one. The man who ate his own hat, that was written by the house.

Meaning that tomatoes were put on trial. Yes. They found guilty? They were. They should have been. I'll tell you in a second how it went, but that means one point for Zam at one point. This is very funny.

For the house. For the house. It just keeps happening. Yeah. We are up to the final question now. We'll do a quick score update. We've got Dushan on one point, the

house on five points, but Anfran at Zamit on six. Occasionally, people do go for triple points in the final round. It's up to you two

if you want to do it or not. I'll take it. The only thing is, I don't think triple points will help me here. You'd have to get

maximum points. Yeah. Yeah, let's do it. Maximum points. Sure, why not? All right, so. You could get a lot of points. Well, last time we played, Jackson was in the lead.

We went triple points and he got maximum points, blowing out his lead even further. All right, so question seven is, or it comes from Tanya M. from Ride in New South Wales. I feel like we're both going to pick

the house and this is going to be a rush skyrocket. The question is, we always finish with some sort of a synopsis question. Oh yeah.

And this one is, what's the synopsis for the 1973 film Schlock? What's the synopsis for the 1973 film Schlock? Schlock. While your answers are being written,

here is some more information about the tomato trial. According to listfirst.com, in the early 1800s, tomatoes were put on trial in Salem, New Jersey because they were believed to be poisonous. Back then, the tomato was thought to be a sinful food due to its ability to act as a mild aphrodisiac. The tomato trial commenced in 1820 with only one person in Salem refusing to believe that the fruit was guilty of being poisonous.

Colonel Robert Gibbon Johnson introduced tomato growing competitions to coax residents to be less afraid of the fruit, but they wouldn't bite. Johnson also ate tomatoes on a regular basis and the general public thought him insane. Feeling annoyed by the trial and the unnecessary fear caused by tomatoes, Johnson walked to the front of the courthouse carrying a basket filled with them. He proceeded to eat all the tomatoes in full view of the crowd gathered there. Contrary to expectation, he didn't keel over and die on the spot. This led to the exoneration of the humble tomato. Eventually, it was grown in millions of gardens around the world and served with a multitude of meals on a daily basis.

What a happy ending for the tomato. Yeah, are you proud of yourself? I'm proud of mine. Whatever the best one is, that's mine, so don't pick it. Yeah. And if there's a bad one, that's probably the right answer. Triple points, maximum points. Let's go.

That's right. So the question is, what's the synopsis for the 1973 film Schlock? A small town is terrorized by the banana killer, which turns out to be the missing link between man and ape. Great. That's awesome. I feel like that synopsis gives you a bit too much, but it is a 73 synopsis.

Often synopsis of old films are just like, here's the whole fucking movie. Have a good time watching it. I picked up a DVD cover recently. I was like, what's this movie about? And then it had the synopsis, and then it was like, famous for its thrilling final scene where this happens.

And I was like, all right, DVD case. Get them back on the shelf. Spoil everything. Okay, so Banana Killers. Yeah, Option 2. Banana Killers and The Missing Link. That's a lot. There's a lot going on there.

Based on the classic stories of Sherlock Holmes, a disfigured man, outcast by the townsfolk who lives in the sewers, must do his best to clear his name of several gruesome murders. Was Sherlock Holmes in? Yeah, I understand schlock there.

Was Sherlock Holmes free of copyright at that point? Because there is no way that that's an official adaptation. Obviously not. 73, I reckon that's too early. No. Wait, when was it? Conan? Arthur Conan Doyle wrote it in the, he believed in fairies.

That's the thing I know about him the stupid boy who was like I'm going to write about the world's greatest detective and believe in fairies yeah he was also like

I hate my I hate my detective character who's going to fall off a cliff into a waterfall with his greatest nemesis I make less money now that I don't write these so he's back

yeah when did copyright really come into play it was with Disney Disney it was 100 years or 99 years and and now Disney. It wasn't 99, it was the death of the author. Then.

Oh, it went to the house of the estate, or is that a new thing? I think that's my, I don't know. I know Disney really just, anyway. Option three, the International Linguistics Convention is thrown into disarray after a fight breaks out over the best slang term for penis. Option four. That is awesome, but that's not a 70s movie. That would be like a 2013 movie.

So, I'm trying to think of where does schlock fit into, like, obviously for that one. Well, because schlocky. Yeah, no, but for the ape schlock? Well, because if it's a schlocky film and it's self-aware. Yeah, maybe. Then you've got option four. A down-on-his-luck private detective is hired to investigate the murder of an adult film producer

after the unexpected success of his newest film. Oh, that's a maybe. That's a schlocky. Because pornos are schlocky. Yeah, yeah. And 73. Yeah. It's like, hide a pornos.

And finally, a Sherlock Holmes spoof. Spoof. Pornos! Pornos! Yes! Sherlock Holmes spoof Spoof Porters Porters Yeah A Sherlock Holmes Spoof Alright Sherlock Holmes

Is everything Sherlock is not He's no good at observation Deduction Forensic science Or logical reasoning But also He's not a cocaine Addicted arsehole

Oh maybe not But the question remains Can he solve the case You had me You lost me You had me in the first half Lost he solve the case You had me You lost me You had me in the first half You lost me in the second half I'm going to lock in

The one before that The down on his luck Private detective Hired to investigate The murder in the adult film Yeah that one Zamit What are you thinking

Douche There's two Sherlock ones But one of them Is clearly written By the listener Because it isn't The house In the house words

The house Yeah I was thinking The last one I was like That one sounds Cocaine asshole clearly written by the listener because it isn't the house in the house words the house yeah so i was thinking like the last one i was like well that one sounds not cocaine arsehole yeah no thank you missing link because that would be a schlocky horror movie to me it seems that we call it schlock though but i guess if it is a horror yeah but missing i just i'm trying to think of like what movies i've seen in the 70s and how... There's a movie called Altered States where a man takes so many mushrooms he turns into a werewolf. Oh, yeah. Okay. But that movie is like a little bit later than that.

Everyone was like, that's crazy. A lot of like the schlock, you kind of got that. Yeah. Can I get the first Sherlock Holmes one again, please? Based on the classic stories of Sherlock Holmes, a disfigured man outcast by the townsfolk who lives in the sewers must do his best to clear his name of several gruesome murders. Because this is like four years before Star Wars. Are we trying something so bold?

So missing link between apes and man is doing murders. Sherlock Holmes lives in a sewer. Everyone's like, murders. You'll be like, murders. Listeners like, murders. Porno guy gets murdered. Yeah. That one sounds real too.

The linguistic convention. Slang term for penis. I'm not considering that one. Well, you're not considering anything, Xamarin. You've locked your answer in. I surely have. It just feels like now you're trying to guide him towards your answer. No, I'm just mocking either the house or the listener.

Being funny, I'm like... Or the real person. Or douche's answer. Oh, it's about the penis. I'm like, oh, yeah. That is a shitty answer, Joel Zammett. All right, I'm going to lock in the first Sherlock Holmes one, the one where he lives in a sewer. Alright, locking that in.

And you two are having a go at how people are writing answers. You've got to understand, it's not all... Not everyone plays the game as boring as you do. Some people play to have fun. I did write that Jackson Bailey was a rat earlier. I also play for fun. That's weird. Normally,

I shouldn't have two nerds on at once because... Whoa! We'd be nothing but lovely. The balance is all out of whack. No one's here having fun. You're taking it too seriously. Well, I would say that one of us made the mission statement that we're here to have fun and to lose,

and they're doing the bad joke. Oh, I am! You're both having a bad joke about what you're here to do. I'm having fun I didn't want to alright let's go through who wrote the answers and find out who won

we start with the cocaine arsehole one can you tell us who wrote that one first triple points I can't start with that one I would but you know

that's the real one that's the real one no no the Sherlock Holmes spoof yeah that was written by the house wait what oh no Holmes spoof Yeah That was written by the house Wait what

Oh no the spoof That's the That's the House house Or was that house listener house House listener or House house That was me

Oh no Oh wow To his face You picked up that shovel And you buried him But don't worry You also had a go at Tanya Writing for the house

who wrote the International Linguistics Convention. We sure did. Tanya, big fan of you subscribing to the Patreon, but your answer skills need work. And in Tanya's, I mean, I'm picking them. That's true. I'm just trying to, you know, we're just

trying to have fun. Everyone apart from the Joels. We're having a lot of fun. Everyone apart from the Joles. We're having our own kind of fun. It's a little mean. Games pulling at the seams of the game. Listeners think they're listening to this podcast and they're safe. The down on his luck private detective. This is one that Zammett chose.

That was Dusha. So that means Dusha If you got the correct answer You win the whole thing I did the porno one I'm always thinking pornos That should have been an easy one Yeah but it's good Pornos are good

And also because I was like Deep Throat came out around there That's what I was thinking Like a bit schlocky Thinking of 70s boys Yeah Oh yeah Bring it back

So Dusha If you say There's two There's two answers thinking of 70s boss yeah oh yeah oh yeah bring it back so douche up if you say there's two possible options what are the two options again we've got the the banana killer or the other

Sherlock Holmes one and if douche has got this right he wins the whole game he does I'm kind of a gate there I think that if one of the

Sherlock Holmes ones was the house that means that Zamit was the other one I think I fucked this that is correct the Sherlock Holmes ones was the house, that means that Zammett was the other one. I think I fucked this. That is correct. The correct answer was a small town is terrorized by the banana killer, which turns out to be the missing link between man and ape.

That's so crazy. So that's three points to Zammett, three points to Doucher. I'll tabulate the scores. And while we're doing that, here's a little bit more information about Schlock. That's what I was about to look up. So you're helping me out here. John Landis wrote, directed

and starred as the titular Schlock. According to Wiki, Landis could not find a distributor interested in releasing the film until 1972 when it came to the attention of Johnny Carson. Carson loved the film and booked Landis as a guest on the Tonight Show where clips were shown.

It subsequently got released theatrically in the United States by Jack H. Arras Enterprises. It opened in Hollywood in March 1973, and in West Germany on 17 September 1982. So long after. It's John Landis' first film. The film eventually became a minor hit and helped pave the way for the careers of both John Landis and Rick Baker.

Oh, Rick Baker. Landis has described the film as terrible, but it holds a 71% score on Rotten Tomatoes. And only a 5.6 rating on IMDb. It's a 70s low-budget horror film. The pacing of it would be slow. All right, so let's go to check the scores. In third place, on four points, we have Dusha. In second place, on five points, it's The House.

But out in front, on nine points, goddammit, it's Zamit. Congratulations. We both lost today because I wanted to win, you wanted to lose. You won, I lost. I did have fun, though. Does this prove forever that Zamammett is the superior Joel? I guess so. All right, look, it's up to listeners to decide.

It does seem wrong. Yeah, no, that's true. Hey, I love coming on this podcast. Last time around, Zammett also beat you, douchebag. Can I give some of my points to him so we can even this out? You feel a bit guilty about it? It's better when we're on an even playing field. Who's the worst performing guest on the podcast?

Because I reckon I would be close. I think it's the house. Oh, you mean guest, guest? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I have multiple appearances. Oh, yeah, you'd definitely be down there. I'd be bottom three. Seren Jayaman is the worst.

He struggled. The first time he didn't score a point. Second time he scored one point. You're improving, Saran. That's good. Third time I think he did score two points. Three appearances there. That's all right.

Yeah. With an average of, what's that? One. All right. Where can people find you to if they want to and I assume they would want to I hope so

so we're part of the Sandspan's radio network but that's an entire network of podcasts so if you want to narrow it down we're both on

Plumbing the Death Star we're both on Baseless Speculation which isn't a Sandspan's radio network no it's part of Wood Elf yeah

Wood Elf Media which is an American company yeah we've branched out those two were on together sister one of those. Or both.

Yeah. So that was Plumbing the Death Star on the Sandspan's radio network or Baseless Speculation on the Wood Elf media network. Both also feature famous rat boy, Jackson Bailey. Yeah.

Oh my God. Yeah. He's a sack of shit. He is. He's a great guy. If he was such a great guy, Matt, he'd be here and not climbing a mountain currently. That's true. By climbing a mountain, I mean walking up a hill. He's a great guy. If he was such a great guy, Matt, he'd be here and not climbing a mountain currently.

That's true. By climbing a mountain, I mean walking up a hill. He's on a hike. Don't get too excited about what he's doing. We're going to be doing a live show in Melbourne

of this podcast at the European Beer Cafe on the 9th of April, Easter Sunday at 2pm in the Arvo. You can grab tickets now. And listeners, I was at one of the live shows.

Let me tell you, they're a lot of fun. They, I mean, the one I was at got deranged pretty much straight off the bat. So you definitely,

definitely worth coming down and check it out. This is first-hand experience. I'm not part of the live show. I don't need to say this. Matt's already done the plug. But I just want you to know, listeners,

you should go. Rock up with like a packet of hot cross buns, sit in the front row and munch down on them while you enjoy some pure edutainment. Oh, yeah. You going sultanas or no sultanas? No sultanas.

Yeah? I could go either way, but yeah. I just love a hot cross bun. Yeah, good. I'm glad that we've started having them all year round. Yeah. I agree. People complain about it.

People are like, oh, sick day. Don't put out the hot cross buns. No. Put them out earlier. Yes. Agreed. They're good. Yeah. I agree. People complain about it. People are like, it's a toxic day. Don't put out the hot cross buns. No. Put them out earlier. Yes. Agreed. They're good. Yeah.

As soon as we get like Christmas carols in round about mid-October, we should also be getting hot cross buns. Oh no, we should still have hot cross buns. Correct. Yeah. Don't stop. Well,

like Australia's leaning more and more into like Halloween. Hot cross buns feel like they could be a Halloween thing as well. Yeah. Yeah. Jesus died for your spooky sins a Halloween thing as well. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Jesus died for your spooky sins. Yeah. Yeah, turn them upside down. It's more of a spooky cross. Inverted hot cross buns.

That's a million dollar idea. Cut this from the podcast. Yeah, we call them the devil's buns. I do like that very much. I'm also doing a stand-up show at the Comedy Festival in the Adelaide Fringe called Ding. And you can find details about all this stuff at mattsturecomedy.com. And thanks so much for listening. Thanks to the Joels for joining us.

No problem. Anytime. I will win one day. You will. I believe in you. Oh, yeah. Yeah, no doubt. I honestly believe that.

I'm getting better. Yeah. I think. I honestly believe that. I'm getting better. Yeah. I think. Please listen if you want. Help get the word out about the show. Tell your friends. Give us a five-star review if you like. And cheers.

No, no, no. Just give a five-star review. Even if you don't like it, five-star every day. Even if you don't like it. Mate, I'm talking to you. Yeah. Five stars. All right.

Okay? Use your words to express any criticisms, but just make sure that it's five stars. Five stars. Alright. Okay? Use your words to express any criticisms but just make sure that it's five stars. I hated this podcast. Five stars. Why do they always yell over each other? Five stars. I only read the five stars. So if you want to get your criticism through, do it via

a five star. That's a direct line. It's the line to the podcast. Cheers for tuning in to Who Knew It with Matt Stewart. Now that you know it, I've been Matt Stewart Goodbye Bye Good stuff