Who Knew It with Matt Stewart - 201 - Amy Ruffle, Barney Pollock and Alistair Baldwin

Episode Date: July 20, 2026

Who Knew It with Matt Stewart is a comedy game show podcast hosted by Australian comedian Matt Stewart. This episode features guests Amy Ruffle, Barney Pollock and Alistair Baldwin!Give your feedback in this listener survey: https://forms.gle/WC7bKDCwgXmSQD1QASupport the show via http://patreon.com/dogoonpod and you can submit questions for the show!Check out Matt's stand up special 'Best Man': https://youtu.be/ZgukEPerWZc?si=SW8PttGAB-ly_GF8And his stand up special 'Live at Stupid Old Studios': https://youtu.be/cWStRpI-BhESee the podcast/Matt live: https://www.mattstewartcomedy.com/Check out Matt's podcast network: https://dogoonpod.com/Theme song by Evan Munro-Smith, Logo by Murray Summerville and edited by Connor Schmidt! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey, mate, it's titular Matt Stewart here, letting you know. With the release of the 200 episode, I've also put out a listener survey. Click to the show notes of episode 200. Yeah, if you're interested in giving some feedback on how you think the show is going and whatnot, click on that. I think it only takes a few minutes. Anyway, let's get on with the show. Welcome to Who New with Matt Stewart, the show where the guests are at the wrong answers.

I'm the titular Matt Stewart, and our first guest is from Thank God you here. And something good at Sammy Ruffle. Hello. So good to have you back, Amy. Thanks for having me. That could have been all three of us, that introduction. So it really was like, who's it going to be? Yeah, that's true.

Well, we've all been on, thank God you're here, an equal amount. Playing an equal number of characters. And our second guest this week is also from, thank God you're here and something good. It's Barney Pollock. Walla, walla, bing bong. It's so good to have you back, Barney. last, you got a lot of love last time with your quick thinking and your ability to

use pressure to your advantage. Thank you. Because you had a hard out that day. This week, Amy has a hard out. So it would be interesting to see if Amy lifts in a similar way. Oh my God. Yep. Rude.

Why did I need it to lift? Amy, I should say I was being very sarcastic. Very sarcastic. I made it run long. I was going to be mad. I was like, he got compliments? I didn't get any compliments. Someone gave me a compliment.

What Matt said, Amy, he meant the reverse. Have you heard of comic irony? No. Okay, well, you've got to do Class 2 with Barney at IOC. IOC? IOC? Yep. Improv Olympic comedy.

Improv Olympic cults. And our third guest, who is debuting on the show today, had a play called Telethon Kid that was nominated for the Nick Enright Prize the Griffin Award and highly commended in the Victorian Premier's Literary Awards in the drama section and he's also from something good

and thank good to hear it's Alsa Baldwin Hello Holy shit I didn't know any of that stuff Oh my God I have a whole career outside of comedy where I command respect Yes So this stuff does keep me grounded actually Hang out with these dickheads.

But yes, no, I'm smarter than my performance will have you believe. At the end of this show, yes. Yes. Wow, that's exciting. Congratulations on all that. That was only a couple of years ago, too. Yes. You got another one in the works?

I'll never tell. Okay. Also, it's such a mean thing to ask anyone. I know. You got anything in the pipeline? I'm like, yes, it's already very late. I'm procrastinating it like crazy. Okay, so the way the show works is I ask a relatively obscure trivia question.

Our contestants have to write a convincing fake answer. I then read their answers well as everyone. I have to guess which one is correct. And the first question comes from listener, Jason Smead from Albury. And the question is, what does the word blip mean? What does the word blip mean? Could you spell it for us? B-L-Y-P-E.

I can spell unless you're, you needed to Google. Because then I can't. Then I take it back. Oh, we're not allowed to Google. No, you're not allowed to Google. Well, you're writing your answers. This is how the scoring works. You get one point if your fake answer is guessed by the other contestant,

another point if you correctly guess the answer. And by the way, I'm also playing as the house. And I've put into my own fake answers for each question with the help of the question writer. And we get a point for each one of those that are guests choose. So each of us can score up to three points per round, which seems fair, but the probability actually favors me, the house. according to one mathematician listener once. And I've never really thought about looking into it.

I just took his word for it. Well, to put that kind of work in when none of this matters, of course. It's all for laughs. I really, I like that you're telling yourself that early as well. Yeah, you're not even losing it. I know. Normally guests start saying that, you know, when after a couple of questions, they're like,

Well, this doesn't matter anyway. Well, what are we even, why are you even stressing about it? I mean, I hate to play high status, but it's not exactly the Victorian Premier's literary awards, drama category, is it? Our questions come from our great, Patreon supporters. If you want to submit a question, sign up on any level of, Patreon.com slash do go on pod, linked in the show notes.

We're also filming it. You can see these episodes on the Dugan YouTube channel. And I should also say, I've got a little survey in the show notes. for feedback. Talking about how we're going to, you know, after 200 episodes, maybe we'll change things up a little bit. So if you want to click on that link in the show notes, you can have your say.

All right, the answer is there in for question number one. What does the word blip mean? A fungal infection that affects corn and corn-like crops. The finishing on the top of furniture made with particle board or fiber board. a person that never gets hyped in any situation a Scottish term for a small piece of skin particularly one which has peeled off following sunburn a sailing rope found on small boats

which adds curve to the sail also known as a smede or when someone who has been caught in a lie is able to lie their way out Oh meta And just what was the name of the person that gave the question The name of the person

Jason Smead That's Smead Also known as Smead Interesting Yeah You can understand why they might have selected one of those You know you go Oh that word's interesting

Yeah another word for me Another word for my name Unless they can lie about their surname on your Google Oh my God I don't encourage that Do you think they're lying because it's actually Smee from Peter Pan Yes.

And they're saying, it's Jonathan Smead because they don't want Captain Hook to find out and get cranky. Yeah, yeah. Yes, Barney. I was nominated for Best Nick. What answer do you think, Barney?

Well, I don't think the first one because I think that was written by a two-bit idiot. The corn one. Yeah, corn-like. Looking forward to you. Finding out whether that was someone in the room. Yes.

A listener or Mr. Collins. A two bit idiot. Because a corn-like, what was it, corn-like substance? Corn and corn-like crops. Corn-like, what's a corn-like crop? Oh, there's a... Sweet corn? Barley.

Barley. Okay, but you wouldn't say, oh, have to put some barley in, it's corn-like. I might say that. Yeah. You don't know how I cook. You don't know how I cook. Meeked with me, Barney? No, but that's revealing to me if you're like,

oh, it's the same thing. Just put in something corn like. Well, sometimes if you haven't got the ingredient, you've got to improvise. Yeah, but you wouldn't be like, put something in corn like. Well, sometimes you can't legally describe something as corn when it's corn like. So it's like saying this is a cheese product. Yeah, it's legally changed.

Orange drink. Yes, exactly. Like icy cream. Yeah. I take it back. Whoever wrote that is secretly really smart. Oh, that. And it's yours.

So you've ruled out one. Do we want to rule any in? If you thought it went long last time. I can't remember any of them. So there was the coinlight. Finishing board? Finishing board. Finishing on top of furniture.

Yep. You got a person never gets hyped. Small piece of skin to a Scottish term. Sailing rope found on small boats. Yep. And someone who's caught in a lie but is able to lie out. Oh my goodness. I'm going to go with the cover for the tables.

Yep. Blocked in. Beautiful. What do you think, Alster? I think maybe the skin tag thing because those Scots are wacky with language. Every time I'm on this podcast, Scottish people just touch it.

Yeah. You're solving a nice to Benz-Roll. We always get into Scottish politics here. That's so funny. So locking that one in. Yeah. And I won't give any more reasoning because Barney went long. Baldwin's a Scottish.

I believe so. Wow. So I think you're allowed to. Surely. Surely. I'm sure they'll accept that. The Scottish is like, yeah, a guy who thinks he may have heritage can shit on us. Totally.

Baldwin. That's the Brisbane. The husband and Perth coming out. Eat your, sorry, my way into Scottish is through fat bastard, but I shouldn't do it. Eat your corn-like products. Amy, what do you think? Incredible accent work. Yeah, well, Stuart's also Scottish, so I've also got it in my blood.

We can tell. Corn-like substance in your blood. It is, it's going to be the hardest accent to do. I don't think so. Not socially. Socially, there are harder ones. Um, Twins do them.

Perform them. We'll compare for you. I'm going to go the sailboat because I was thinking the skin, but let's keep it funny and spicy. Oh. All right. Here's who wrote the answers.

Someone who's been caught in a lie, is able to lie their way out. That's Jason, the question writer. Oh. Jason also wrote the one, which I really liked, a person that never gets hyped in any situation. I thought that was you, Barney, for sure.

Never gets hype, buddy. He didn't write the one with Smead in it. No. Fungal infection that affects corn and corn like crops. Who was Barney shitting on? It was Alistair. An award-winning writer. Come on.

The most accomplished writer in the room by far. Oh, wow. Yeah. Looks like those premieres were not smart. Now, Barney went for the finishing on top of furniture. That was Amy Ruffle. Oh, yeah, she knows furniture. Amy Ruffle went for the sailing rope, also known as a smede.

That was Barney. No. And Alastair went for the correct dancer, a Scottish tempera, a small piece of skin. Hot start. I knew that because of my heritage, probably. It was down deep in there. That means each of you get a point. The house is yet to score, but you're all on one point apiece.

Perfect. Going into round number two. And question two, two different people sent this in. Stein from Yakima and Kayla Hotkowitz from Le Moyne in Maine. They asked the question, what is the common name of the species of worm first described by scientists at the Monterey Bay Aquarium Research Institute in 2007? So it's an aquarium, it's a sea worm.

Yeah. Two people sent this in. Two people sat in. Independent thinking. Parallel thought. Across from different countries. It is, I mean, I think that just suggests it's a pretty fun name. Yeah, the answer is pretty fun.

The question sounds, you know, relatively dull. But oh my God. The answer, does it make it worthwhile? Let's find out soon. Sometimes the most creativity is within a very constrained premise. Yes. That's what I found being right. And yeah, so you just need the name of it, Alistair.

You don't have to describe it. Yeah, Al. You got that? I knew that. Yeah, first time guest off and we'll write a name of a worm and then a paragraph about what makes it interesting. And I just, it breaks my heart. Yeah, but have you ever had such an award-winning writing?

Oh, true. I think it would be a real boon for the show if we could get a worm description from Alistair if you've got time. Do you want to hear more about Blum? Blipe? No. Yes. I already know everything.

Barney, you've got the deciding? Yes. Vote. Yes, please. Jason, the question writer, writes, who would have thought that after not listening to your mum and not reapplying sunscreen that you'd spend the next few days peeling blip from your body?

Jason also writes, Ew, gross. According to Colin's dictionary, this word was first recorded in the period 1780 to 1790. Other words that ended English around the same time that maybe went on to a bit more fame. include carton, classification, dynamics, rosette and vampire bat. Same time, they're all as old as blop.

Wow. Wow. Vampire bat. Vampire bat. I reckon they're the kind of things that make a writer like Alice said. Just chubber. And we are closer to when Cleopatra lived than she was to the pyramids being built. Just incredible.

A great fact. I'm beautifully told. Blype has such less staying power than vampire bat. Yeah. Yeah, you know, they have those usage graphs. Yeah, Blipe is just a flat line with tiny little bumps. It's like one person said it. One year and one.

And when this pod comes out, it's going to go blip crazy. Oh, yeah. Well, maybe vampire bats actually are like a viral vector for something which protects us from blip. So the more vampire bats are, the less blip is. This need of that is to describe the condition. That is fascinating. Because they suck the plight right out of your skin.

All right, the answer is in for question number two. Here it is. What is the common name of the species of worm first described by scientists in the Monterey Bay Aquarium Research Institute in 2007? Greater Gashworm. Love that. Pig butt worm. Petite squirmer. Oh.

The devil's umbilical. Grief is the thing. feathers. Or wet sausage. That's so interesting. You'll go first here. Well, I feel like maybe I'm making Barney feel a little insecure. It is intelligent.

So to count of that, he chose the title of a well-known award-winning novel called Grief is the thing with feathers. I don't think I called it Harry Potter. So I'm going to rule that out and I'm going to go with gashworm. Gashworm. Gashworm. I'm greater gashworm.

What do you think, Amy? Could I please have the devil's umbellic call? Yes. Thank you. Locked in. But what are you going to pick? And Barney. Well, I can't.

I'm thinking about a worm. And I'm thinking about the fact that, well, I guess it doesn't have feathers. It's a worm. And grief is the thing with feathers. So that's obviously not this worm. Oh, and a bird snatch the worm's mother. Yes. And that's where it's grief.

The early bird catches the grief. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. That, well, if I was playing, I might lock that one in. Yeah, it's quite good. Unfortunately, everyone's already locked their Z. So there was the gash, and then there was the devil. And then there was...

Pig butt, yeah. Petite squirmer. Wet sausage. I'm going to go pig butt. But what are you going to lock in? Hang on. Hello. I don't think you can do that joke too many times.

What was your award? award winning show Court again? My award winning show King of the Pigs 2. Yes. Pig butts revenge.

Yeah. Rare. It was a rare sequel that was getting better than the first one was lost at time. All right. Here's the road

the answers. Wet sausage. That was Amy. Grief is the thing with feathers. This might surprise some. That was Barney.

I forgot. Too torn with grief. It was so non-contrived that I forgot I even picked it. My God. Petit squirmer. That was Stein, one of the question writers.

Okay, the house. Greater Gashworm. Alistair went for that. That was Kayla, the other question writer. Oh. So the house is on the board in round two finally. The devil's umbilical. Amy Ruff went for that.

That was Alistair. Very good. Thank you. And that means Barney is correct. It's pig butt worm. What? Oh, my God. You don't deserve it.

Guys, if you think about it, the pig has a little squirly tail like a worm. Oh. Oh, my God. It's called logic. Okay, reasoning. What a reversal of status. I know. The funny thing is, that's not why it's name,

I don't know. Why is it called that? Seems weird. Question three comes from Britta from Lahia in Utah. Oh, If I read a little bit further Britta has phonetically spelt it

Lehigh Britta from Lehigh in Utah What is the German name of the Pokemon Licky tongue That's that's Licky Lou Whoa

So you need a German name That is not the version I know No I think that's AI Or that someone's faner That's a fake one It's on Pokemon Gohub.com.com. No

What about this one? That That's the guy. That's what it is. So it looks like a, it's got a huge tongue for the listeners. It's huge tongue. It looks like maybe a turtle that's had all of its green taken off

and it's just got like that like pink skin underneath. And instead of a shell, it's got like a chubby tail. Apparently, I'm talking about the pig butts. They're about the size of a hazelnut. That's the size of the worm. Yeah, they're bioluminescent and they produce a blue lot. The size of a hazelnut. Yeah.

Why would you measure a worm? They're chunky. They're like little chody worms. Stop showing us pictures of licky tongue and start showing us pictures of... You stop showing us your fan are that you make. Gross AI, cheeby. Look at this thing. Oh, that's not a worm.

Oh my God. What is it unfurless? Has it got its own square space? was that website? It was incredible. Releases its own pod on a Tuesday. They're about 2.1 centimeters long, maximum. So then what is the definition of worm?

I think we have to ask ourselves. It's a portmento. No. Of? Of, um, whoa. And, that is kind of how you feel when you see a woman. That's true.

Whoa. Whoa. Oh my God. The answers are in. for question number three. What is the German name of the Pokemon licky tongue? Blumen.

Schlurip. Shalad Tosha. Excuse me. Shreple Kompa. Dasch Kani Lingish. Yeah, I'm starting to do the accent a bit, sorry. A bit. Das Kana Lingus.

Or, Greithfeather, chew. Bloomin? Schlerp. Schlop's the only one that had the C-H in there, and then I couldn't get out of it again. Shlurp, salad tosser. What? Did you call me? Struper clumpur.

Das cana-lingus. But Greeth feather chew. All right, Amy. What do you reckon? I think blurp. Well, that's not an option. Are you choosing Portmanteau? You're doing Bloomin Shlop.

I'm bringing my own joy. It does feel like you have gone. From Blip from the first one. Blooming and Shlurp. They're the first two. I feel like you're merging those two together. Yeah, let's go Shlurp. No, let's go Blumen.

Okay. Or not. I don't know. You tell me with your eyes. There was a second of silence because Matt was drinking his coffee. And they immediately were like, no, not that. I'm like, that was coincidental sit-farm. So you go, I'm bloomin or schlurp?

What do you think? It's very possible you're choosing between two wrong answers. It's most likely. Let's go schlurp. All right, schlurp. Barney. Yes. What do you, oh, what do you think?

Let me just put yourself a little water. There was one that was the longer one. Dastcanalinguis? No, there was another one that was longer. Three feather chew? Struper. That one. Okay,

Struper clompa. Sounds a bit like something else. It's a film. Amy Ruffle, Barney Pollock, like the portmanteau is like basically Barney Rubble. Anyway, something to think about it.

Whoa. What are you? Blumen. I got to go. No. That's what I was going to choose. If you got it right, I'm going to be so mad.

I, yeah, I think I genuinely thought it was, which is why I addressed the thing with the cup to get you to second guess, your second guessing. So go back to your original thing, which I think is wrong. This is powerful play. I know. Powerful play. I knew being in a room with three men was dangerous. Oh, my God. Choose the bear.

Are we meant to trip people on this? Is that part of it? I mean, yeah, you certainly can. You can play it in whichever way you like. Oh, I'm just playing an honest game. Oh, my God. Well, it's working for you so far. I think after a couple of rounds, you're in the equal league.

But is that about to change? Here's the road the answers. Greith Feather Chew. That was Amy. Come on. Das Canalingas is Barney. Salud. Saludusa.

It does have an umlaid over the U. I don't know how that that's true. That was the house. A term I'll learn on this show, actually. So appreciate who. ever taught that to me. Salad tossing. Salad tossing, yeah.

It's good fun. Is it a Frasier thing? It's it, it is, yeah. In a way. Is it? In a way. It's got to do with tongues, I believe. Why did you think that?

Ever seen you look so careful? In the song, toss salad and scrambling. You've seen salad toss and show? Because scrambling eggs is also sexual. Do you think it comes from phrases? Is that where it may be... Everything stems from friction.

Yeah, true. who he was listening and etc. And, et cetera. My God. I really missed the golden era of this part. You are running on fumes. And something in post, man.

No, I think kind of all tidy this nicely. Right. And I'll lift after that. That is just what I needed. Blooming. Now, I also. went for that. I'm afraid that was Britta, the question writer.

Lose. Loser. Flop, slurp. Here we come. Barney went for stripper-clomper. That was Alsa. Well done. Fair play. Hey, fair play. Hey, well done. You, the premieres chose so well. Again, I didn't win either of those awards.

Well. Barney didn't win his award either. No. Well, in a way I did. In what way? Well, you won the nomination. Yeah. Yeah.

And lots of people said, nice one. And the connections that I made that festival. All right. You're going to have to jump in. Or he'll keep going. That means Amy is correct. It is slurp.

Oh. So Alistair's sort of gameplay backfired there a little. Can't corrupt the female mind. I don't frame it like that. That's not what I'm going for. That's all you said to be in a message before this. You three are all. all in a group chat without me.

Yeah, it's called mind corruption, parenthesis, it's females. At the halfway mark. The scores. No denial on the record. Barney, Amy, and the house on two apiece. Nice. But out in front on three points,

it's house to Baldwin. Wow. Amy, we're like a two-headed snail. Amy, Barney, and the house. The house is our shell. Oh, that works actually. We're a little roommate. Yeah, we can't leave each other.

Put your dishes away. I have no hands. And we're not an answer. Use your mouth. And you can see us do improv every one. If you liked that little scene. We have not explained at all what something good is. No, and we don't need to.

No time. But it's basically little scenes of what if we were two heads of one snail in a little house? It's funny. Most people get like a bump after they do a pot appearance and we'll see a dip. Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. Boycott.

People are hearing. I was going to go. All right. Question four comes from Sam Shaw from Ashland in Wisconsin. The question is what is the name of the fifth track on blues singer Taj Mahal's 1971 album, the real thing. So she's going to come up with a name of a song, a blues song from 1971.

And while you're writing your answers, here's a little more info about schlurp. Gorda bruner. Schlurp is a far superior name to Liky tongue, and the English Pokemon audience is all the poorer for not having thought of it first. I learned that certain regions will change the names of Pokemon to make the puns more accurate in the local language.

And I found a list of German Pokemon names and found it so interesting to see which Pokemon. ones kept their names like Pikachu and which ones didn't. I like Schlert because it still works in English and is fun to say. I agree with you, Britta. Thank you so much for sending it in. Let us send in more if you've got other such things. You or others, not just you, Britta.

Anyway, while you're still writing your answers, let's go for a quick break. All right, we're back and the answers are in for question number four. What is the name of? Pack 5 on Taj Mahal's 1971 album The Real Thing Velcro puppy It's time to talk turkey Open bracket

Gobble Gobble Gobble Closed Bracket Rent was due Open bracket Yesterday closed bracket Big Need gal I love my baby But the house had to burn Or time heals all wounds

Meanwhile I'm bleeding out I love how often you get a parenthesis in a song title. That's really. If I know one thing about the blues, they don't know when they can whip on their hands. All right, Barney, back to you. I'm going to go with the burn. Yep.

I love my baby, but the house had to burn. Yeah. What about you else, sir? What? Big need gal, I think. Such a, so, what a vivid picture that paints. Yeah. And Amy? I had thought about big to need girl as well.

Oh, wait, sorry. I'm just realizing, as in she has a big need for love or her knees are big. I think it's got a K. Oh. Does that make you like it more or less? Less, but it's too late. It's too late. No, you can change.

No, no, no. That was a misinterpretation. Big need. Big need, big need, it's good. Big need girl, dad, it's like brown-eyed girl. Yeah, maybe. My big need girl. I really, there's no part of me that considered it could be that she had big knees.

Or like, you know, Big Baker or something. Well, there's so many. How is it spelled? It is spelled like your knees, yeah. K-N-E-D. Yeah, that's the joint. Okay. Mead.

I think I still like it. Yep. Two for big need. Whoa. Whoa. Is that allowed? Oh, let me check the rule book. All right.

Here's her at the answers. Time heals all wounds. Meanwhile, I'm bleeding out. It was the house. Rent was due yesterday. That was else there. Very nice. It's time to talk turkey.

Gobble, gobble, also the house. Velcro, Pappy, was Barney. You said puppy before, which is not right. Damn it. It's Pappy. That would have. vote for it less.

Yeah. Velcro puppy. I was like, now I'm interested. Is the dog made a Velcro? No. They're throwing it against a wall. Yeah.

I love my baby, but the house had to burn. Barney went for that. That was Amy. Thanks, baby. Nice. Were you picturing a child baby or like a...

No, my lover. Yeah. I mean, both pretty grim, but yeah. So what was it meant like, I love my baby, but the house had to burn? like I burn the house down

because I read it as like I love my baby put the house at the burn I can't interpret what that means do a little bit of dialogue before and after that so we get what you're going for no no see the issue was my baby has

huge knees and so I had to burn her and that does mean that Alistair and Amy I corrected is big needs gal oh my God my big neat girl it's so

I can't imagine. Yeah, do you reckon normal size legs, but huge needs? Giant needs, yeah. Maybe the implication, sorry, to kids listen to this podcast. Well, it depends. I get Connor to give me a whether or not needs explicit. So you might be. And when you say not need, you mean needs.

Without me. He's a word wizard. Connor, you can cut this, but maybe they're so big because she's always kneeling to, I just remembered some of the earlier answers. I think this is probably an explicit episode. We had salad tossing and... But that's a Fraser reference.

That's a Fraser reference. We've taught Pokemon. This is kids friendly. Yeah, no, this might be kids friendly. This is kids for sure. Yeah. You could just say, but yeah. Totally.

We understand what you're going. Strupp clomper is a slur in German. Oh, that would be a real mean thing to do. Yeah. Because that would reflect badly on not only you. also this show. Connor, you're going to have to look up every answer. So, what were we talking about?

I think. This is your show. She has big knees because she needs dough whilst kneeling on the floor to fulfill her need to provide. She's using her knees like knuckles to need to activate the gluten. Yeah, that all makes sense to me.

He's just checked out. It's like, ah. I watched old episodes and he was like before 200 he was really giving it. You rebutted Barney's pig bum thing before but this year like sure whatever. Who cares? I could,

I mean, if you want I could give you some lyrics. Matt, we have a heart out. I know, that's what I thought. I'd love to hear some lyrics though. Just one line. I would like to hear it, yeah. The scores, meanwhile.

This is the lyrics. Barney and the house on two, but out in front of four points of piece. It's like, Amy. Woo! I'll give you the next question, then I'll see if we're going to find some lyrics. Yes. Great.

This question comes from Patrick J. Early from Bendigo. The question is, Katie Perry toured Toronto in 2025. Why did her performance make the news? Katie Perry toured Toronto in 2025. Why did her performance make the news? All right.

Let's get these lyrics. I'm sure they're going to be really good. Now, you know, I met my baby at a Thanksgiving dinner party. Wait, one of the fake answers was about gobble, gobble turkey. I know, and that was one of mine, and that's pure coincidence. Huh. Do you think everything's connected? Synchronicity.

Hmm. We were introduced to one another, introduced to one another by a mutual, a mutual friend. And when my baby smiled at me, ooh, you want to see me grin. And I really do love her. She is my baby. She, my sweetie. She my lover. she my pal.

He sort of, it feels like he's getting cold on her as the, yeah, she's like, she's just my pal. Yeah. Hey, I hardly know her.

A mutual friend of ours. I'm mutual of mine, really introduced us. She's my pal. People now, you know that I'm just crazy about that woman. She is my big,

need gal. You know my baby is frisky as a fella. that got home from elipsies. A slur that they can't say? Ooh, there ain't another I would ever see. And I really do love her. Ooh, she my baby.

She my sweetie. She my lover. She my pal. People who now you know that I'm just crazy about that woman. She is my big need gal. But what does that mean? And then it seems to repeat all over. again.

So there's no... Oh, I met my baby at a Thanksgiving dinner party. And because I guess the turkey leg... No, that doesn't work. Yeah, I don't know. Is maybe need with such common parlance at the time that they don't need to get into what it... I like the bit where it's like,

my girl, she's frisky as a fella. Yeah. I'm like, be gay. Just be gay guy. All right. For question number five, Katie Perry toured Toronto in 2025. Why did her performance make the news? She announced her engagement with Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau.

No. Or Trudeau. Option two, she sang a song in Simlish, the language of the Sims. That was fun to say. She sang a song in Simlish. Oh, I would have loved to see that. She fell from the stage but continued the performance, even though it was later revealed she had a broken rib and a punctured lung.

Wow. The custom engineered flying harnesses. malfunctioned and she dropped five feet, luckily stopping before hitting the stage. She was joined by Weird Al Yankovic to perform parody versions of her songs, such as last Friday night being reworked as Last Tidy Whites, about being down to your last pair of underwear. That's good. Or finally, she tore off her...

I've already got a gas. Or finally, she took... tore off her face skin and underneath it was a furby face and then pulled the fur off and everyone thought it would be robotics but it was actual meat like animal meat and then she said would you kiss a girl now then she said checks a back a back deal with it and i've cashed mine then bretley fast bowler burst out of her chest like alien and everyone said we will pay double for the tickets because this was awesome and the producer was like No, no, this is for the fans.

That's the final option. You're happy with yourself, Marty? That's amazing. Oh, Brett Lee. I thought I was a playwright. This is Barney trying to, like, pitch himself. Yeah, I'm trying to pit. I'm pitching myself to playwriting.

So, Alastair, you've got Justin Shadu, Sims, broken rib, punched lung, fell in her harness. but didn't hit the stage. Weird Al or that bad shit last one. Brettly. The Simlish one sounds familiar to me. And Simlish is the portmanteau of Sims and English.

So it's calling to me in that way. Okay. Amy. I will do the, what's the second last one? Second last one, Weirau-Yankovic? Yeah. Why not? And what do you think, By now?

I'm going to lock in harness. which wasn't locked in properly. That's poor. You're going to lock it in and then do a safety check on that answer. Stress test for lock. She fell from the stage and got a punctured lung. That was the house.

The one where she had animal-like meat underneath her and Brett Lee bursts out of her chest. That was Patti Pollock. No. When do you get your ideas? Incredible. Where do I get my ideas? Alien, by the sounds of it.

I love alien. He does reference it. Justin Trudeau engagement. That was Alice there. You poo-pooed that very quickly. Yeah. Stay up to date. Do you not follow Dumas?

No. They said some mean things about me. Oh, have they? No. Amy went for Weedau-Yankovic. I'm afraid that was Patrick the question writer. Last tidy whites is good though. Yes.

You have potential. Last tidy whites. They were dirty because of shit. Barney went for the custom harness failing. That was Amy. Oh. Thanks, baby. And that means that Alcara is correct.

It was the Simlish song. Wow. Whoa. When did the harness happen? Didn't that happen to her? I don't know. Oh. Oh.

See, I just, I made it up. You're thinking of pink. Maybe. Or Owen, poor Owen Hart. But. Who? Don't worry. That's for the real ones. That's for the Patreon.

All right. We're up to the final question. Which comes from Wilson Deluxe from Glasgow and Scotland. I will read some of the simlish lyrics in a minute. Something to look forward to. But the question, we normally finish with the movie synopsis. But this week we're doing a comic book synopsis. What is a brief synopsis of the 1980 comic

Spider Woman Issue 33 So you just want to give it And probably include You know the bad guy That's the main I think each one If you don't know comics

And I don't But I believe That each one They're like battling a different person Oh right Okay Or whatever And while you're writing your answers

Here's some more about Katie Perry According to Gamer Braves Katie Perry has brought back a wave of Sims nostalgia after performing the Simlish version of her hit last Friday night during a recent concert. The moment marks 13 years since the pop star first recorded the playful version of the song for The Sims 3. Fans of the Sims will instantly recognize Simlish, the franchise's signature made-up language spoken by its virtual characters. Over the years, several artists, including My Chemical Romance, Depeche Mode, Yoas Sobe, and Perry herself have re-recorded popular

the songs entirely in Simlish for the games. During one of her tour stops, Perry was handed a piece of paper by fans containing the Simlish lyrics to last Friday night. At first, she laughed and said, oh no, I shouldn't do this before agreeing to sing the chorus. Despite joking about not being able to read the tiny text without her glasses, she nailed the performance earning cheers from the crowd. Some audience members unfamiliar with the Sims were likely confused by the sudden burst of gibberish lyrics, but for long-time players, it was a pure nostalgic hit.

The original Simlish rendition was part of the 2012 Sweet Treat Stuff Pack, which featured Katie Perry themed outfits, hairstyles, items and locations alongside her re-recorded songs. So here's the lyrics from the chorus. Las Frubi Noop. Yavi Dancil, Daibaldoop, Emmy Doobes, Mimi, Shoupes, Cee Kipsey, Afrgoob, Las Fruby, Noop. This is just too distracted. Mexa crabby car in a key to-e-e-ya-so be hip-taboo-lea last ruby noop I'm a sticker in a pa skiby-debi-dibi me naeya dinahanna show a top last frupey noop do you want to just pick a random

number as your selection for the last one somewhere between one and five you pick the right answer for me I don't know about that I can't do that but I'll pick yours Yeah, do you want one of them to pick it or do you just want to pick a random number between one and five? I don't trust you guys. Yeah. We would make you pick ours. Well, and obviously, give me two numbers because in case one is your number. Oh, that's true.

I'll take three and five because six will probably be Barneys because you leave the six. There's no six. There's only one house answers, so it's between one and five. Okay, three and four. Three and four, okay. Woo. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye, everyone. See ya. See ya. Sorry that we just could not wrangle Barney. That's okay. It's impossible. Wait, quick, quick.

Here is the final question. What is the brief synopsis of the comic book, Spider-Man, Spider-Woman, sorry, issue 33. The bug collector is on a rampage as he sets his new invention on New York City. Insectivore is a robotic monster who is built to fight. insect-based super heroes such as Spider-Woman, Spider-Man and Ant-Man, catching them so the collector can shrink them down and put them on display. Option two, she tore off her face skin and an anore-up... There's a furry face.

Thank God that's not three or four. You'd be in trouble. Read the whole thing. No, you see where that's going. It's the exact same thing. Spider-woman gets paid 86% of what Spider-Man does. And it's just a bunch of panels about how shitty that is. But also, she looks really hot in the suit.

Spider-Woman travels to San Francisco to face a new villain. Her foe, known as Turner D. Century, is a man obsessed with bringing back turn-of-the-century morals to 1980s. His equipment included a flame-throwing umbrella, a flying bicycle built for two and a time horn which would kill anyone under the age of 65.

Can Spider Woman defeat him before he sends the Bay City back to the good old days? A time horn. God, those were the good old days when you could time horn anyone under 65. Spider woman, this is the next one.

Spider Woman must face off against a serial arsonist named Black Saturday eventually discovering it is a local journalist who is gaining notoriety from the news coverage. Well, finally, Spider-Woman must overcome her greatest threat yet, an awesomely evil forsome known as Carrie, Samantha, Miranda, and Mrs. Venom.

Will her sparty senses give her the edge, or will she end up with new shoes that are stylish and a bobcut? No. No, you don't know that. Okay, I'm taking my to number one. All right. See, Amy. Bye, Amy. I want to know who wrote this answer.

Now, I did accidentally start reading out Barney's last answer. So I had to, yeah, anyway. That's really funny. And somehow it worked. Somehow worked. And to me, I was, as far as I got, I'm like, this is pretty fun from Barney. And then I'm like, hang on. I really believe, because you love to double down.

Yeah, yeah. I love that all the rest of them are like, like, Spider-Woman must. And then on a comic, there would just be, she rips on her face. All right. Allison, what do you think? Oh, my God. So Amy's already locked in.

Amy's locked in based on that time, the Turner D. Century one. I do think it is that one. You can also lock that in. Can you quickly remind me what the others are? Yes. The bug collector? The pay gap.

Yeah. Then we had Turner DeCentury. Then we had Black Saturday. Mm-hmm. And Sex and the City. Well, I think it's Turner DeCentury. I'm going to go with Amy on this. All right.

Locked in. Timehorn. I'm just trying to figure. Who's normally the fourth one in Carrie, Samantha, Miranda and... Mrs. Svatham. Yeah. Or is it always, it might be one of those Mandela affections. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I was thinking that was the fourth one, a different name. Carrie, Samantha, Miranda, Mrs. Venom. Yeah, no, it is. It is. Who is it? I don't know. Do you want to lock in an answer, Barney? Yes, yes.

I feel like. Charlotte. Charlotte, Charlotte, Vennam. Well, she always wanted to get married. So she's ultimately settled for Mr. Venom. The, I want to, the bug one, like, it's got too many likenesses to the, the theme of the podcast, which is Portmento's,

which is also the drum's best album, which... Portmanteau's being a... itself a portmanteau of Portugal and Mentos. Yeah. Every song. Wish I was in Portugal. What is the Portmanteau and the, what are you saying? Which one?

Because there's something like insectosaur or something. Oh, sure. And then. Yeah, insectivore. Insectivore. Insect and herbivore or whatever. Yes. Right.

So it would be Blatter Day rather than Black Saturday probably. Yeah, yeah. If you're sticking to the theme. Yeah, and I feel like no one here would make a Black Saturday joke, which makes me think it could be that one. But that one was very brief. Did the question say when it came out? Not in 80.

Which was pre, yeah. Although if you have a time horn. Yeah, then you could go back. And I thought Black Saturday was the Australian foreign. So doesn't Black Saturday mean something else over in America? Isn't that like a Thanksgiving Day sale or something? Oh, Black Friday. Oh, Black Friday.

What was the Black Saturday one was about a reporter? Yeah, reporter is the alter ego of the arsonist. And they were creating the fires so that they'd be able to get front page stories, basically. They get the scoop because they, well, that's some reading into it. Yeah, yeah. Well, that's kind of like Peter Parker. Oh, true. Whoa.

Yeah. He's like evil. It could be evil Peter Parker. Evil Peter Parker. So it could have been working for the village bell or whatever. No, that's like Pub and St. Kilda. No, I really, he was working. He's working for the village bell.

I need more pictures of fires. I'm going to go with that one. Go with, yep, yep. All right. Locked in. Now, here's who wrote the answers. The bug collector. That was the house.

Wilson Deluxe, the question writer. Amy wrote the one about the pay gap. Always political, that Amy. She's gone. The one about doing 86% of the party, too. I'm normal. I'm just playing a character version of myself. I don't think I'm that good a writer.

I'm not sexist. This is a character I'm doing. This is the most myself I ever feel. Now, Barney went for Black Saturday. I'm afraid that was Alastair. Oh, he went there. The sex in the city one was Barney. Mrs. Venom.

And that means that Amy and Alistair are correct. It is Turner D. Century. A man obsessed with bringing back Turn of the Century morals, which is hectic. I love that like the morals in question are like a penny farthing and a flame umbrella. I'm like, you're just steam punk. Now, I can tell you about a little bit more about it. Wilson, the question writer writes,

Ternody Century was a fairly minor villain who knocked around the Marvel Universe for a few years before meeting his untimely demise in a 1986 issue of Captain America, where he and 17 other minor league supervillains were gunned down. by a mysterious vigilante named the scourge of the underworld. Which is hectic. In this, in issue 33 of Spider-Woman, he seemingly died in a house explosion, funnily enough. Well, Arson can be a trick. Sorry.

Again, I'm normal. I just, yeah. Before I give the final score updates, where can people find you? So something good for Melbourne listeners or people visiting Melbourne every Wednesday is there all every Wednesday at 630 at Comedy Republic yes and it's a lot it is a lot of fun I had more probably the most fun I did enjoy doing it but the most fun was sitting and watching you guys well that's good which is the experience

that the punter can have yeah it's all the best bits just the muffin top yeah so fun and real pros so you're all very experienced oh yeah I'm when you say pros do you mean like writing or uh yes pros Pia R. R. F.E. Is that right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

And Amy's new show. Sona Sessions. Sornah Sessions. There are two episodes out now. Yeah, YouTube, I believe, is where it's. Ray O'Leary. Sachi Pura, as mentioned. Ray O'Leary in the full suit as well.

Yes. Bit of fun. Bit of fun. That's a bit of fun. Either of you are going to be appearing later in the series. No. No. Didn't get us.

Make the. Yeah, it didn't get us. You did film an episode though, I'll say. Just didn't make... Yeah, well, I don't know. Usually when I go to a sauna, it's a different vibe. It maybe isn't safe for YouTube. Okay, yeah.

Sort of YouTube Red or whatever. Yeah. Red tube. Yes, yes, yes. YouTube Red. Yeah. You're going to need to confirm your identity before watching that one. All right, so final score check in fourth place,

certainly not disgracing himself, even though he didn't score in the final four rounds on two points. It is Barney Pollack. Only marginally ahead on three points. It's the house. Moving into second place outright by some way on eight points. It's Amy Ruffle. But flying home with a huge last round,

Really delivered by Barney picking your answer, especially on 11 points is Alstabaldon. Wow. Well, I just knew that Barney would think no one in their right mind would make an illusion to Black Saturday to win a quiz that doesn't matter. And you completely overestimated my character. Played right in your hands. Sorry. So good. All right.

Well, stick around for the outtakes. I think Alastair certainly knocked over glass water. It would be interesting to see if Connor can somehow turn. And there's something audio. It will be a lot funnier. After winning, it will subvert the kind of pedestal that I'm on. I mean, it shows the game you were playing. You were sort of showing yourself to be hopeless from the bat being underestimated.

100%. And you played that to your advantage. Couldn't put out my fire. Sorry, no, move on. All right. Well, thanks so much for joining. Is anything else you want to tell people before we go? Be kind to yourself.

Yeah. Yeah. Really nice message. Ditto. So it's a Pokemon. True. Find the survey in the show notes if you want to give us any feedback. Keep it relatively kind, if you know, mind.

And yeah, cheers to tuning into Who Knew with Matt Stewart. Now that you know it, I've been Matt to show it. Goodbye. Welcome to Who Knew with Matt Stewart, the show where the guest wrote the wrong answers. I'm the titular Matt Stewart. Our first guest is from, thank God you. Oh, my God. I'm so sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm really. Oh, no. I'm really. He's off the episode. I'm so sorry. I really.

This is the worst thing you've done in comedy. Not even I've done that before. Wait, now they're both gone. This feels crazy. Here we are with the Confessions podcast. You're listening to Amy and Barney. And we're going to talk about dating and all things, sex, love and rock and roll. I hate that that's your first.

For a pod. I heard shameless for the first time. Oh, what did you think? Oh, it's dripping on my legs! And if you're listening and wondering what the hell's going on, sign up to the Patreon and you get exclusive footage of what happened. Close up on the puddle. Oh, I feel just elated.

I like how far we got into it. I know. Little do you know that was part of my strategy To throw everyone off Well, might as well go from the top Yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah One butler named Mr Jarvis

We've all played that I forgot he was good One gay butler Posh Posh Sorry, posh and British Not gay That was, you know, just a layer that I added

Sorry Was that a layer that that was obviously the audience or like an internal layer you added? Well, I was straight until I played Mr. Jarvis and then sort of like Keith Ledger and the Joker

I've been gay since. Oh, right. That's what happened with him, right? He was a Joker afterwards. Yes. Is that what you mean? Which is so weird because... Well, the Joker turned him into the Joker

so he couldn't, you know... Right. When you play a character. often you become the character and if you wear a mask for long enough, do you forget who's underneath it? So just to be clear, the Joker didn't turn Heath Ledger gay.

That's not what happened. No. I just saw a Reddit thread that... Oh no. Anyway, I don't want to talk about Heath Ledger tragedy, Australian hero. You haven't even been introduced yet. I'm saving you for last

because our second guest this week is also from, thank God you're here something good. It's... What do I do? I've written in Amy Ruffled twice. Amy. It's Amy Ruffle Tuss.

Oh, so confused. Um, uh, okay, well, I'm not that sure about that. Oh, aren't you? Oh my God. A dumb and American. Perfect. I don't know which one to shoot. They're both the real Amy to me.

And it's so sad that I couldn't just not read it. I'm like, oh, but it says, oh. Anyway, Conner don't want about that. You'll edit that out, I'm sure, very cleanly. Leave it in Connor. It's very funny that I, in a group, I mean, it's not that funny. It's probably a bit scary for Amy, but in a group message to organize this episode, there was an imposter, Amy.

Oh yeah on Facebook Did they write back? They didn't know I kicked them out before they got a chance Bummer Should have left them in actually Yeah See you there

Yeah See if they had any good answers Yeah Would be hard to learn I'm the least funny Amy Ruffle You should see these other Amy's There's an Amy Ruffel in In London who

Somehow my Uber account Sent all the emails to them Because I put the wrong email address in And about like three years in She was like hey She found me on Instagram was like, hey, just so you know, like, I know everywhere you go because I get every receipt of yours. Which is a weird way to frame it. Stop going to the dump.

Why are you so obsessed with the dump? And why are you getting Uber's to the dump? At 2 a.m. every night at the same time, 2 a.m. dump night. What was the word again? Blype. Blipe. And there's no limit to how many times you can click that link. Well, ideally you just do it at the once because I mean that, I really hope people aren't skewing the results.

They're like, I really want to affect how this... I think Bonnie Pollock should be the new host. I think there should be a question about blip every episode. Congrats on the 200 though. Yeah, very much. Very impressive. Yeah, it's, uh, came up quick. I guess, yeah, it means it's been going for like four years or something.

Yeah, sort of do it every week. And I never came up once. What's so funny. Honestly thought you lived somewhere else. Sure. In Sydney, I think. Well, we were talking about this last week. Yes, we were.

After something good show. Yes, yes. I give off Sydney energy. And I've been to Sydney for work. Is that where some of your award-winning work was created? Well, of course, the Nick Enright Prize is part of the New South Wales Premier's Literary Awards. So I did get flown up for that award ceremony. Flown up to your birth town.

Sydney. No. Born in Brisbane, raised in Perth. Okay. Well, that's fair enough. Neither of those of Melbourne. So I wasn't that far off. I think of something,

if you mix up Brisbane and Perth vibes, or I can get Sydney. I couldn't disagree more. I got nominated for best newcomer. Beautiful. It's been in your intro, though, was it now, Barney? Which premiere did that, though? Which premiere?

Oh, yeah. The one true heir to the throne, Dan Andrew. Oh, dictator, damn. Yeah, I think he was long retired before you got nominated for that, I think. Yeah, but he said, don't worry about that. I've just pretended to retire. I'm pulling the strings. You don't know the name of the next one, do you?

Jacinta, is it? Jacinta Allen. Oh, I think that might be right. I think that's right. I'm clued into politics, ask me anything. Put it in, click on that link. Tell us what you think about the Labor government It's just using

I do like that you tried to humble yourself By knocking over that glass of water though Oh yeah That might be the outtakes I wonder I don't know what Connor can do with that On an audio You do an outtakes

We need to keep bringing it up So they have to leave it in Uh huh, uh-huh, uh-huh Alistair gets brought back to reality When Ben's on the episode, we never learn anything. This is incredible. I'm not saying a fact, by the way. You're not learning with me.

No, I believe it. I'm going to tell people. Amy, I'm noticing that Barney writes as quickly with or without time. I'm still caught on the fact that the question writer, Mr. Smead, he wrote about peeling the skin off and then he ended it Did you say that he ended it with you gross? Ew. Ew.

I couldn't stop thinking about it. You grow. Like a female sheep? You gross. You gross. Hey, Bonnie, can I just double check that's your answer? That last thing you sent me? Yes.

That is. Okay. Not even looking at your phone again. I wrote a short story about a word All right, here's a row at the answer. Oh, so no, I don't know what that's, that happens later. I'll let you guess first. I'm really finding this in today.

I'm sorry. That's so funny. I mean, after 200, the quality is going to do, isn't it? What do you think you're sort of, you know, nervous in the presence of someone that is so prestigious? Yes. Yeah, it's power of liquid. Different premieres. Yeah, that's huge.

Bloody hell. If I knew I was going to be playing a kind of literati elite, I would have dressed a little nicer for the camera. Playing as if that's not your whole vibe. Sorry. The two premieres who gave you awards aren't the ones you were born to or grew up with. They're not your parents. The two premieres. The two premieres.

Yeah, I've said that a bit odd. Right. Well, how long can a premiere hold? office and how young did I write this play? Oh, great question. That's a good question. That'll get you thinking. Or did they do a comeback where actually back when I was born, Gladys Berrigaliccline,

she actually was a midwife and helped birth me. Really? And then metaphorically I birthed this play and actually dedicated it to Gladys. I called her Gladys. There's a play. I was just at a venue in the country and there was a poster on the wall for a play about her. I wrote it. What?

I wrote Gladys. Well, I take back what I said. I wish you would. I wrote one. It's called Kim Beasley Goes Large. I love that Beasley. You could win a Premier-like award with that. Oh.

We have to say a German word. It doesn't have it. It's just the, I mean, the English, versions aren't English words. They're all gibberish, so it could be whatever. Wow, hang on. Oh. I'm sorry, I'm not a full Pokemon.

I'm not full... You're not full Pokemon? I'm not full Pokemon. You think that Charazard is gibberish, dude? Oh, that's a really good. It's actually a portmanteau of char and lizard. Yes, okay. Or is this the pig thing again?

I'm going to come out of this with so many facts that are not true. That's got to be true. Is it a fire lizard? Yes, it is. Yeah, well then I reckon that's got a bitch. Oh my God. Oh, and Charmander, maybe is Char and Salamander? Uh-oh.

What is happening? There's a method to this map. That's crazy. Is that across all of them? Like, what's bulbosaur? Is that like... It's like a dinosaur with a plant bulb on top of it. And then it evolves into iBi-sore and ven-sore.

What about Pikachu then? Yeah. Well, some of them... A sneeze? Some of them probably make a little more sense in Japanese. What about Mr. Mime? Oh my God, squirtles on turtle. This is crazy.

This is unfair. I did write for a hard quiz and then I did have to learn everything about Pokemon. Including the German names? No. Do you do you know Pokemon? Sounds like you sort of do, Amy. Asked a question, Alastair. What about Mr. Mine?

I'm sorry you were right in my preferable version of the time Um Do we think it was like the original ones are the portmanteaus? And then because they had to make so many, they just can't keep portmantewing. Mm. Because your three classics except for Pikachu. Sure.

They're all portmanteau. Do you want to see, do you know, like jiggly puff isn't a portmanteau? Say that last bit again. Jiggly puff. Yes. Isn't a portmanteau. Nice.

It's of jiggly and. And puff. Don't you have to take some out to make it a portmanteau? It's not like giggily sore and like porky puff. Right. But what does jiggly puff look like? A little pink puff like cotton candy. Yeah, but that's just neck.

I can't. What about zoo-god? Sometimes it's on a matapia. I do know Pokemon because I just got a Nintendo switch and I just got Pokemon on it. Right. Nice. Mm-hmm. What?

What's your favorite Pokemon? My favorite Pokemon? Jeez. So many sweet guys to be. Probably pig butts. Probably one of the sneaky ones, I think. Stop talking about now, sir. He takes long enough without distraction.

I'm not allowed to do strategy. Oh, yeah, that's fun. It's like he just gets timed out. He's like, the thing was Feathersmon. Why don't you tell the listeners about something good? Oh, Sirina, like, in your most earnest way. Oh. Let's see if you can hit the talking points.

While we're on the break or... Yeah, this won't go to air. It will. It'll go to air. It'll just get... Kind of just cut it in somewhere. Well, we are the house improv team at Comedy Republic in Melbourne CBD on Burke Street. and every week our team of the improvisers invite one non-improvisor to come and try improv.

Often for the first time, Matt Stewart was our most recent guest, actually, on a due to scheduling issue, all boys night. We really try not to. But nonetheless, I think the crowd can agree if it was, you know, a little politically dicey at times. It was fun. But come see the show. Because it was Amy, you were meant to be and you were a late withdrawal. Yes, yeah. I saw that the guest wasn't.

That joke got made a couple times. Yes. Definitely the girls all boycotted. Can I just go on the record and say, I said it first. And then Ben went, didn't laugh and then said it on stage and fucking lapped it up like a little dog. It was nice to be the inspiration. Barney really keeps receipts. My favorite part of the whole show.

That's when he settled a score in a scene. What was the score? Ben came out, you know, there were a couple of guys out there just doing their best. Yes, yeah. And Ben came out and said, wow, this resembles a bad improv scene. Oh. And the laughing and laughing they were at that. Cruel, like hyenas.

And then later in the show, he was doing some, one of his old, bullshit things. And then I said, wow, this sounds like a terrible improv scene. That's fun. That's fun.

He said it in a way that it felt way too serious. And really, it really made me laugh. I think it's great when you can get that out on stage and not have to do

it in the green room after you. Totally. And get a laugh of it. Oh, that's bliss. So good. But yeah, I was sad to miss boys night.

Yeah. We missed you. well I missed you guys too did you have fun I did for yeah for the most part I think I did tell us in detail what you didn't enjoy I know it's just my own

you know lack of self confidence in that sort of world and stuff like that but it was really good and it was like because you sort of go up and down you sit on the sidelines and then people jump up when they've got ideas I was never going to do that

and I think people sense that and Barney brought me on that's nice I think nearly everyone brought me on at some point. So I ended up being up there a bunch. That's amazing. Stinking it up. The others always saved. No.

Save the days. Everyone brings their own stink. You know what I think? I think that initially they hated Jesus but then that turned it around. Yeah. Right. Yeah. And he was brought up. Yeah. He was brought up again. Ponschus pot.

Come up here. Come here. Come here, naughty. I think you were, you slip to the point where we weren't getting much of the front of you, but getting more of the back of you? I hate to watch him leave. That's great. I think he's just trying to lean away from me. Just trying to get an angle on you.

This is there a last supper table sort of styling? Sure is. Speaking of the big go. Yeah. Actually, you're my favourite fella. Now you know I met my baby at a Thanksgiving dinner party. We were introduced to one another. Sorry, I should say these.

This is you telling us. I was going to say, I was once told by a woman on a date that I had nobly knees. I think she was nagging me. What do you reckon? Negging with a K. Yes. Here are the lyrics for big knee-degging.

girl. Great. Where you got to go? That's fair enough. That's fair enough. If you guess it right, I'll tell you. Have one guess. Everyone can have a guess.

To record in a sauna. Oh, I didn't mention that at the start. You got a new show about interviewing people in saunas. Thank you. I do. People should watch it. They should watch a sauna sessions show on YouTube. Ray O'Leary's been on it.

I'm Larry Sashi Pereira next week is Dill. Dork J singer, so funny. Oh, that's great. Heavy hit is. So please watch it so I get to make more. Woo! Woo! I kind of think my oral sex thing is maybe on the money.

Yeah. Oh, broad. She's so neat. That's a frisky thing, yeah. Yeah. She's got calluses on them knees. Sorry. I'll say that.

Apparently. My weird, nude girl. Stuck in my head. It seems. Seems like, this is like an obscure website that is being translated from maybe Spanish. Oh, the puppy. Was a term of endearment that celebrated a woman's full voluptuous and strong physical figure. Sure.

Right. So it's in the kind of like Fat Bottom Girl's world. Yeah. Like she's sick. Making the rocking world. Like knees are a thing that you're still allowed to call. comment on. Right. Well, yeah, maybe it was back long and go enough that if you could, that's true, you couldn't

even see the knees normally. Well, in Jane Austen times, there was a hit song called Thick Ankeled Girls. Is it true? No, of course. Oh, I want it to believe. Obviously not. But yeah, if anchors were like, Scandas, imagine a knee. So now, now there are songs about genitalia, because that's how short skirt

Genitalia, the Kevin Bloody Wilson's daughter. Yeah. Is it one or is it the other one? One of those, who's the other guy? Kevin Bloody Wilson and Kevin Parker. Kevin Ryan? Do you know Tame and Parlor's just one guy? The other 80s.

The other 80s guy. Kevin Buddy Wilson and. I mean, I'm young and an award nominated playwright. I don't know how you think I know what's going on. Have you heard of Kevin Buddy Wilson? I'll just look at it. Anyway, Jenny Talia is the daughter of a classic Aussie musical comedian. There's a Pokemon called Jenny Talia.

Is that true? Because it's about, it's like a double helix DNA, so it's a play on Gene. Ah, that's beautiful. I don't know if I can trust anything you say anymore. She's Kevin Buddy Wilson's daughter. Jenny Talia, beautiful name for a boy girl. Matt, is everything that? Okay, at home.

Usually, Matt, when, you know, you always say, what's your coffee order? Guys, just getting them. Today, no coffee. You come in with a huge mug for yourself. You go, it's shit. I don't like it. You usually get coffee. I would have loved one.

Well, I just, it was a timing thing. Sure. I just got back from a like a three-night tour. Wow. Congratulations. Let's talk about it. I think three is harder than to do a longer tour because you never get in the rhythm, you know? Totally.

So, it's a big come down. You know what it's like on tour. A lot of hard drugs. Yeah. A lot of hard drugs. What was the hardest drug you did? Ooh. What's the laughter?

It was like this at the show as well. The laughter's the drug. The come down. Wow. You know what I mean? Yeah. And then. And then this.

Yeah. The audience were twice as big of this. Wait, so it was six. Right. Six plus people. Yeah. Because this podcast is definitely like the methadone of the addictive quality of comedy. I'm going to bring it out I'm strong.

I'm really sorry that you're feeling that way, Alistair. No, I didn't seem to be me and I just said it to fill the silence while Barney is still filling out. I've done mine. Mine is submitted literally ages ago. Don't read Alistair's feedback form. Okay, yeah. It is making me feel sad. No, no, no.

I, um... Apologise. I love you, Matt. No. You overcorrected. Okay. I'm very fond of you and I respect your productivity. Yeah. I'm going to need you to split the difference there.

Okay. I feel nothing. We're merely existing in the same room. No, I love you too. All right. Answers. Barney looks disgusted. Weak.

This is a game to win. Okay.