Who Knew It with Matt Stewart - 202 - Dilruk Jayasinha, Dave Warneke and Lauren Edwards

Episode Date: July 27, 2026

Who Knew It with Matt Stewart is a comedy game show podcast hosted by Australian comedian Matt Stewart. This episode features guests Dilruk Jayasinha, Dave Warneke and Lauren Edwards!Give your feedback in this listener survey: https://forms.gle/WC7bKDCwgXmSQD1QASupport the show via http://patreon.com/dogoonpod and you can submit questions for the show!Check out Matt's stand up special 'Best Man': https://youtu.be/ZgukEPerWZc?si=SW8PttGAB-ly_GF8And his stand up special 'Live at Stupid Old Studios': https://youtu.be/cWStRpI-BhESee the podcast/Matt live: https://www.mattstewartcomedy.com/Check out Matt's podcast network: https://dogoonpod.com/Theme song by Evan Munro-Smith, Logo by Murray Summerville and edited by Connor Schmidt! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey, mate, it's the titular Matt Stewart here, letting you know. With the release of the 200 episode, I've also put out a listener survey. Click to the show notes of episode 200. Yeah, if you're interested in giving some feedback on how you think the show is going and whatnot, click on that. I think it only takes a few minutes. Anyway, let's get on with the show. Welcome to Who New with Matt Stewart, the show where the guest's right the wrong answers.

I'm the titular Matt Stewart. Our first guest is a Logie Award winner and Star of Utopia. It's the Rook-J singer. Hello, Matthew. I like the word titular. Yeah. I just, I think there needs to be more titular in our vocabulary.

Yeah, yeah. But I don't know how else to sneak it in into places. You know what I mean? I don't have anything that's titular that will come to my, you know, here's my titular passport. Oh, that's true. I'm the titular. Why's you're presenting it? You say, yeah, I'm the, I guess it's not the title.

Yeah, it's just disappointing. I'm the titular mister because that's your title. Yeah, I don't know. But I want, but you've just inspired me to find something that I can use the word titular. I mean, plug in your festival shows. guess? I do do pun titles, but not this year. But yeah, so maybe, yes, titular. The titular Dilrug Jaising. Yes. You're all right. Stunning. Our second guest this week is the carryover champs, I've described and hosts of Dugo on and bookchay podcast is Dave Wonachie.

Woohoo! Never lost. I've never lost. You've never lost this game? That's not true, it's not true. It's not true. I've lost a lot. Because I'm pretty sure I've only done one of these before. And I think I want. Oh, one for one. I think so. Never lost. I think it was against The true carryover champ. The true statistic would be I've been on the show more than anyone, but I've also lost more than anyone. Yeah, yeah. Right, right. Fair.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But still, carry over champ, thank you. Okay. Our third guest this week, the first time I'm on the show who was described by Weekend Nodes as a triple threat, vibrant, endearing and hilarious. It's Lauren Edwards. Hey, yeah, yeah. The big three. Hard to follow a Logie winner.

I would say that. I was wondering, who's going to be? Who's going to be first? And he goes, a logy winner. I was like, not me. Again, a titular for you would be like if your name was, endearing was used. So like there's an Indian name Indira. So maybe that could be like if you want a culturally appropriate Indira, then they can be

titular. Sure. Do we need a little bit more context on why I would be doing that? I mean, that's not really like. You know what? I think I'm just obsessed with the fact that it sounds like tit. Oh, yeah. I'm going to get off this riff because I just realized why it's, it's,

tantalizing me so. Sounds like Tied and like tubular and stuff. It's like a fun. Tubular as well. Tubular is an excellent way. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, good, good, good. I would change my name to tubular.

Like that, that is a name I would change. Tubular Edwards or Lauren Tubular? Tubular Edwards. Yeah, that's really not. Tube, tuby. Yeah, Tubey. To be. Or not.

Oh, not. Oh, not. All right, so the way the show works is I ask a relatively obscure trivia question. Our contestants have to write a convincing fake answer, I then read their answers as well as the real one and I have to guess which one is correct. And the first question comes from listener, Tyler Brown from Charlotte in North Carolina. And Tyler's question is, what is the Scunthor problem?

And while they're writing their answers, I'll explain how the scoring works. So you get one point if your fake answer is guessed by the other contestant. Another point if you correctly guess the answer. And by the way, I'm also playing as the house. I put in two of my own fake answers for each question with the help of the question writer. and we get a point for each one of those that I guess choose. So there is like six answers in total at the end? Yes.

Wow. Yeah, yeah. So yes, each of us can screw up to three points per round, which seems fair, but apparently the probability favours me, the house. And that's why in the final round, the guests get triple points while the house does not to swing things back in their favour. Anyway, most of our questions come from our great Patreon supporters. If you want to submit a question, sign up on any level via patreon.com slash do go on pod.

linked in the show notes. And you can also, I should say, watch these episodes that are filmed in the studio on the Do Go On YouTube channel. You'll be one of literally hundreds of people joining in the fun there. Can you believe it? Can you believe it? Yeah.

I'm waiting for YouTube to send us a special plaque. We're in the multi-hundred club. All right. The answer is question number one. What is the Scunthor problem? It refers to the county of Scunthorpe in rural Wales, rural whales after a train was derailed and infestation of weevils took over an area of poppy june forests and who attack any human who tries to cut through the area attacking weevils that's option one option two

it's an economics phenomenon where an increase in a product or service prices a services price paradoxically results in the demand going up as well who made that sound that's such a great sound That sound... That was me. Yeah. You basically your sound said... My sound said, I don't know anything about it. Yeah.

Is this your double bluff? Oh, maybe. Ah, the game is afoot. Option three, a reduction in hiking experience by parks after major publications about spiders, named after famous arachnologists, Dr. Mercedes Scunthorpe. Option four.

That's like lovely. I love that Mercedes is the non-beligible part. What a great name. Corby, sure. We can have a Mercedes. Chappelle and Mercedes, sure. But a Mercedes condom? I don't know.

It's just hard to believe if your name is Mercedes. You've got a science degree. Oh, that's true. Yeah. You're right, actually. You're probably too busy living the hall off to study. I mean, I grew up with half of them on the Gold Coast. They're very busy.

With science? In the lab. Yeah, so to speak. So then we've got the unintentional online blocking of certain innocuous words because they contain expletives, such as the town of Scunthorpe, which contains the C word. Option five. Oh, my God. I did not pick up on them.

Neither. Being so likely to win a sporting competition that the pressure of losing a game gets to the competitor and they choke. Or finally, when good. intentions to fix a problem create a new issue. Name for the English town of Scunthorpe after they ran an ad campaign featuring hunky farmers to attract women to the village, which led to an overpopulation of females. Oh, wow. Okay.

What do you think, Lauren? I mean, I really want it to be Dr. Mercedes. But I'm going to go with the last one. The overpopulation of women. Somehow I just feel like scumns. Thorpe just sounds like something you would name after a woman. That's just really sexist of me, but I just, I feel good about it. Scumthal, I think it's beautiful.

Well, if anyone's going to say it, it's you or me. It's got C-U and D in it, so it feels appropriate. Because you're a woman and I'm a sexist. What am I doing? Why am I throwing myself under the bus? Dave, what do you reckon? I'm going to go for the unintentional blocking of words, please. Okay.

I was feeling that as well. So we've got basically in reverse order, we had the women overpopulation. We had a sporting phenomena, which is like that, where you want to win so badly you lose. Yes. Then you have the blocking of words. Then you have something that was evil. No, that's spiders with Dr. Mercedes. Right, Dr. Mercedes.

Then you had economics. You got the paradox in economics. And then you had the words. Weevils. Okay. So I feel like I'm going to go with Wanaki as well. Well, yeah, that was the one I was leaning to because I feel like the Scantor problem feels like something.

Well, I guess we never asked the spellings of Scantor. Are we allowed to know? It's probably too late now. Okay. Yeah. All right. I'm going to stick with the spellings. I'm afraid it's spelled with a, no, it is spelled that way.

Here's who. Here's who wrote the answers. the evil weevils. That was Lauren. I don't even know what a weevil is. It's just a funny word. Yeah. I thought they get...

It's like a rodent, isn't it? I think they're even small. They're tiny. No, it's an insect. They get in your oats and stuff maybe. Yes. They get in your rice and shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

In uni. That's why I look. It's a real fun image that they're attacking. Well, they could. I mean, flesh eating. They do. They work in a pack. It's a very university problem that weevils in odes. I feel like I came across it a lot.

Yeah, yeah. The one about the economics phenomenon, surprisingly, is by Dill. No. Manu. Did you study economics? Yeah, from accounting and finance and economics student. Yeah. And also worked in accounting for nine years, so there's a bit of that.

So anything to do with financial results might be my answers. Being so likely to win a sporting competition, you end up. Choking and losing. That was Dave Warnocky. Is that something you relate to, Dave? No, I know that Scunthorpe is a pretty average local football team. Oh, right. You are an NRL fanatic.

Yes, I am. He's the poster boy for NRL fandom. Ex-player. Well, you must have been up against Ben Russell to get that nerd fan of Melbourne Stormroll. You've seen him in that? No, I haven't heard this. I can advertise that, yeah. Yeah.

Because I'm such a fan. He's like a geek, but he's, The biggest fan of the Melbourne Storm. See, he doesn't come off as geek as much as... No, I know. They have to really work hard on his costume, I think, to make him look less cool than he is. That's annoying. You should have got it.

I think so, too. Honestly, we would have saved him on, you know, costume and everything. Exactly. The budget alone for that. This is geek erasure. It's offensive. Yeah. It's problematic casting.

Coming to do your thing. Exactly. Yes. This is like having honesty without any Greek actors. Like, what? Or saying that you're from Sri Lanka when your last name is Wadike. No, but that's in pursuit of a loan. That's true.

That's fair. I'm not even Sri Lanka. I'm Mexican. Oh, sure. I somehow convince them. It's an artistic endeavor. So then we had Dr. Mercedes. That was Tyler, the question writer.

Great answer, Tyler. Not the creator. Not the creator. He was the creator of the question, I guess. Yeah, yeah, no doubt about that. Now, Lauren went for. the hunky farmers. Yep.

I'm afraid that was the house. What a shame. That means Dave and Dill are correct. It is the expletive word. So what is the spelling now officially? S-C-U-N-T-H-O-R-P-E. Yeah, right. So H-O-R-P is a bad word.

H-R-P. Yeah, right. H-R-P-E. Like, what do you call me? Yeah, yeah. I believe it's Seps worker now. So after one round, And they haven't deal on a point, house on a point as well.

Lauren yet to score. We're in a round two. It does feel that way. That's extremely sexy. It feels very much that way. After one round. Question two comes from Hap Pearson from L.A. in the USA. And the question is, basically, wants you to come up with a fake species of bird.

The question will be which one of these is a real species of bird. You're just going to come up with the name of a species of bird. Don't have to describe or anything. Just the name, the common name of a bird. Okay. Species of bird. And while you're writing your answers, here's some more info on the Scunthorpe problem.

Tyler writes, the Scunthorpe problem got its name when in 1996 residents of Scumthorpe, England, were unable to create AOL accounts because the email substring contained the word, which was on AOL's profanity filter. The problem occurred again in the early 2000s when Google's safe search hid results for businesses in Scumthorpe.

Similar problems have occurred many times with other instances involving the Pokemon one name Frost lass, I guess for ass, birds with the word tit in them, and the English towns of penis tone and clitheroe. Which is actually spelled clitoron. Wow. And that's Pennystone, I guess. It's not penis town.

Pienestown. Tone. As in penny stone. I was hoping it was Pinnestown. Pannistown. And you were really. Yeah. And you're all invited.

Clit hero is my name on Reddit. Beautiful name. Does it have a cape? The people at home need to know that Lauren made popcorn. Oh, they should know that, yeah. Yeah. And it was like a revelation for these boys that popcorn can be made at home. Yeah, it's like you guys had never seen popcorn before.

I've never seen popcorn outside of a hoids. Popcorn is the perfect snack, in my opinion. Probably not for a podcast, but just, you know, otherwise I'm good, thank you. You have a lifetime supply at home, do you? All right, the answer is we're in for question two. Which of these are real species of bird? North American foul grebe. Yellow-bellied sap sucker.

That sounds like a pirate. Eastern chubby parrot. Pink-bellied baloosa. Big bushed robin. Or cornish-blue spunk. Oh, my God. All right, Dave. Up to you.

What do you think? All right, really quick. I'd love to hear them Yes, please. From your mouth. Yes, me too. As opposed to your anus That became out before.

I suppose to your clit hero. North American foul grieve. Yellow-bellied sap sucker. Eastern chubby parrot. Pink-bellied balozer. Big bushed robin or Cornish-blue spunk. I think I'm going to go with Cornish-blue spunk.

Please. They either sound mean or really flattering. What was the first two? North American foul grebe and yellow-bellied sapsucker. Because yellow-bellied sapsucker is so ridiculous, I feel like grebe may be, oh man, it's hard. It's tricky, isn't that? All right, grebe, grebe.

Go on the grebe. All right, Lauren, what do you reckon? What was the last one again? Cornish-blue spunk. The one before that? Big bushed robin. Yep. Yeah, for the big bush.

It's just so dumb. I just hope that it's true. All right, this is who wrote the answers. Eastern chubby parrot, that was the house. I was tempted by that. It's just got a... Chubby birds are the best. Real chunk.

I love it chunky birds. And because it was eastern, my brain went to like, like, east of their world and just like this Asian bird that's chubby, you know, like a sum or a bird. Love it. The pink belly. belluzer. That was Lauren.

Oh, nice one. Did you come up? Is the belusor a real bird or have you come up? I mean, that's fantastic. That's all. That's just how I feel every morning when I wake up a loon.

I feel like a pink bellied belusor. Because I don't believe that that's the name of a, there's some wild bird names out there. Come on, guys. I might have picked that, to be honest. The North American foul grebe. Dill went for that. I'm afraid that was Hap, the question writer.

Oh, thank you. done have. Grieb. Yeah, Grebe is Grebe a real bird? I don't know. I have no idea. I have no idea.

That's why I went with that as well. I went with Grebe because everything else had a, another word that meant something. Right. Whereas Grebe was so random. I feel like there's also no rules with naming birds. Like you can name a bird any fucking thing you're on and no one cares. Yeah. Yeah.

That's true. This is the, birds aren't as old, I think. This is a famous Sri Lankan Warnockie. Like you've seen that. I would believe you if you said that. I'd love that. For mate and cool. Please.

Please. Come. Aw. Oh. Go on then. Now, Dave went for Cornish Blue Spunk. That was Dill. Oh.

Yeah. That is. Just a bit of side note. I saw corn. Oh. Oh. Yeah. Some blumenal messaging.

It was very like, what's it called, usual suspects. And blue on the lid as well. Well, that could have been more. Oh, my God. And Spunk. Spunk. What are you looking at? It's yes.

Lauren went for big bush rob and that was Dave. Oh, wow. What were you looking at, Dave? Damn it, I was hoping I got a point over you. And that means no one got the correct answer is the yellow-bellied sap-sucker. Oh, I've picked that too. Same, same, same. It sounds like it, yeah, that sounds just like an offensive name to call someone.

I'm going to put that in my Instagram. What was yours? What was yours? The house. What was mine? Oh, East and Chubby Parrot. Oh, yeah. Yeah, cute.

So, Dill, Dave and the House score a point again. So after two rounds. Lauren yet to score. I'm so bad at this. Dill's a half on two points apiece. Still plenty of game to be played. And always triple points in the final round. Oh, great.

You know, it's really anyone's game. Hope is not lost. The next one comes from Kieran Donahue from Brisbane. And Kieran's question is, what is the name of the small town, 78Ks north of Brisbane? Oh my God. Oh, no.

I didn't realize you were from. Yeah, so, okay, you're very possibly going to know. or maybe not, but just play it like you don't know it. 78Ks. Because you'll be like, you're actually going to be last, no, you'll be second lock in your answer. So play it like you don't know. Otherwise Dave will just come after and go, yeah.

Well, why don't we just let Lauren go last for this round? Okay. Because then that way we can lock in our answers without being influenced by Queensland native. I really don't know geography, but sure, that's sure. That's fine. While you're writing our answers, here's some more info about yellow-bellied saps. suckers. Caught on the website,

All About Birds. And this is quite dull, but I'll stop whenever you guys are. Yellow-bellied sap suckers are fairly small woodpeckers with stout straight bills. The long wings extend about halfway to the tip of the stiff pointed tail at rest. Actually, doesn't sound that boring at all.

It's not a bit saucy. A stiff woodpecker. Often sap suckers hold their crown feathers up to form a peak at the back of the head. They feed at sap wells, neat rows of shallow holes. in tree bark, then they lap up the sugary sap along with any insects that may get caught there. Sapsuckers drum on trees and metal objects in a distinctive stuttering pattern.

They really, the yellowness of them is not what you'd notice at all. Like when I'm like, oh, yellow belly, they're going to be quite yellow. But they're really very redbirds, I think the one that I saw anyway. So whoever named him was colorblown. I mean looking at this one I'm just like the red head seems more distinctive to me I see a bit of yellow there is a bit of yellow there I don't see it really any yellow

That's not significant enough The red head sapsock was already taken Yeah that's what they call me on Reddit So there's Clint Hero and you're really Got multiple accounts on Reddit I love Reddit My God We need to plug your Reddit account at the end of this

All right, the answers are in for question number three. What is the name of the small town? 78K is north of Brisbane. Butt heads. Dull town. Bald knob. Kinkuna. Stank Pit or Gizam.

Oh, wow. How do you spell Jism? J-I-Z-U-M? Jizm Wow So go again Buttheads Dull Town

Or Dulton I guess Bald Knob Kinkuna Stank Pit Or Jizam I'm gonna go What was the second one Dull Town

No the one after Bald Knob Bald Knob What do you think Dave I was tempted by Bald Knob Oh wow What about the answers though Can I hear them one more time

But heads, dull town, bald knob, kinkuna, stank pit, jism. Oh, maybe butt heads. But heads. No, Lauren, before you answer. Yes. No, can we check? Do you know? I have no idea.

You still don't know. I will say one thing. I have my answer is, I know it is a town. I have no idea how far it is from Brisbane. So it could be right. Oh, you got a real town in? Yeah. Well, you said to actually try.

Oh, yeah. That's good strategy. Yeah. But I don't know how far it is from Brisbane. I just picked a random town. I remembered that. Yeah, which one do you think? Which one do you think it is?

I hope it's bald knob. Bald knob. Lock in? It sounds something like something we would name something in Queensland. Bald knob. All right. Here's her right the answers. Jism, that was the house.

Dull Town. That was also the house. I was trying to go. give the two ends of the spectrum there. Yeah. What, jizum is not dull for you. Dull and jizz. I love that the opposite of dull is jizz for you.

Nothing more exciting. This is that really boring and quite a ridiculous town, man. This book is really dull. Oh, but this book is jizz. There is a town called Dalton somewhere. Maybe it's not in Queensland. I forget. Anyway, I thought, oh, it could be that.

Stank Pit. That was Dave. It was a double T. I think that's awesome. a radiohead song. Kinkuna. That was Lauren. So that is a real town name.

Dave went for butt heads. That was Dill. Twice I've got you now. This is great. Get out of my head. Cornish blue spunk and buttheads. And that means Dill and Lauren are corrected is bald knob. Yay.

Beautiful name for a town. I had to get that right or I would have been fair. embarrassed. I have a feeling this has been somewhere swirling in my head. Like as soon as you said it, that's why I think I got you to repeat it because I was like there was some, one of them just said, oh, this exists. You know what I mean? Yes, I was going to say, I feel like I've seen that on a traffic sign somewhere. Yeah. It's like the famous one in W-A, which is pronounced Corburn, but it's spelled C-O-C-K-B-U-R-N, Cockburn. Yeah. And it's one of those ones when you, like, if you're an Aussie in Corburn or around doing material,

They're like, nah, we've heard it. But as soon as they're an international act, they love it. They're like, oh my God, yes, this Malaysian comedian loves our Cockburn. The one drive down sometimes in Melbourne, if you're heading out east. Geelong. It's right, a Gile, really long. The Ernst Wankrow. Ernst Wankrow.

Yes, it's under that cave. Yeah. Before you go into that cave. It's on the way to Pakenham. Yes, that's right. Ernest Wank, so close to Ernest Wank. Yes.

You hit that place after you've gone to Clitty Rowell. All right. So first points for Lauren. Yes, thank God. Well done. Bald Knob came through for you finally. Thank you so much, Bald Knob.

At the halfway mark. Lauren's on one. Dave in the house on two, but jumping out in the front on four points that's still look dressing. Four. Joy. Oh yeah,

got double there. Because of your butt head. Yeah. Nice. Hey, I want to get about it. Look, I didn't think of you as a competitive man, but just the way you said, well done. What place, sir? It had that, yeah, almost.

Gameface is going on. I'm going to start trying now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You had a Magnus Carlson losing a chess championship vibe about you. Yeah, I want to slam the table. That was full on. And then shake hands. And then shake hands.

I have no idea what we're talking about. There's a clip that went off. I've seen it a bunch of times, but yeah, this, this, like, he's a chess champion. And he loses a game to, like, quite a young player or something and he cracks it like he hits the table up he's like a guy has never lost anything in his life and then sort of shakes a hand and storms you're talking about magnus yeah like he's the like all-time goat like he's the like crazy undefeated so him not undefeited he is lost here and there but like when he loses it's like his entire identity is shattered okay all right well

we're we're jumping over from chess to an equally highbrow topic here this question comes from Ashley Dickinson from Bradford in West Yorkshire. And the question is, what is... Why isn't Dickinson a funny name anymore? Expression. Like, come on, Dickinson. Dickensider. That was like the Dickens cider.

I don't know that one. I don't know. I think it was a real brand, but maybe it was a joke. A cider, right, right. Dickenside. Well, like Dick Smith. You get it? It's very funny.

I don't think Doug gets it. One day I'll learn comedy. Oh, no. That's not. That's the ultimate. Wow. So Ashley's question is, what is the name of the Bizarro Erotic Novel,

Chuck Tingle released on the 20th of August 2019? Chuck Tingle, we've had his questions about him before. He's a prolific writer of erotica, but it's always weird. So you'd think it's not a straightforward erotic novel. It's going to be something sci-fi. And we said, but is Bizarro? Like, was that parody?

Not parody, just strange. Can you ask the question one more time? Just basically come up with the name of a strange, erotic novel. Could involve anything, but it won't be like the lover's trist or something. It's going to be something weird. I was going to say, it's usually bizarre erotic. So what is like a normal erotic for you? Yeah, like what is, what's your kind of life?

What you consider the middle of the... Right, right, right. Something called Gis Town. Yeah, yeah. My last novel was called GizTown. That was the last... Giz Town. Yeah, so it's going to be...

It's going to be a little more interesting. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Jiz Town. While you're writing your answers, here's some more info about Bald Knob called a Wiki. Bald Knob is a rural locality in the Sunshine Coast region in Queensland, Australia.

In the 2021 census, Bald Nob had a population of 280 people, up from 253 people in 2016. Bald Knob is booming. All right, while you're still writing your answers, let's go for a quick break. All right, we're back. The answer is number four.

What is the name of the bizarre erotic novel Chuck Tingle released on the 20th of August 2019? Here are your six options. I'm excited with this everyone. White water shafting. This is so great already. Such a good title. I was catfish by a literal catfish and now we're in love.

Lesbian velociraptors in Vegas. We are loving bisexuals and they are living bicycles. I really want to read that one. Make me sore, Minotaur. Or return of the giant anus. This time it's worsonal. I mean, I want to read them all.

Can you say them again just for fun? Whitewater shaft things. I was catfish by literal catfish and now we're in love. Lesbian velociraptors in Vegas. We are loving bisexuals and they are living bicycles. Make me sore Minotaur. Or return of the giant anus. This time it's worsonal.

Worsonal? All right. Lauren, what do you reckon? Oh God. They're all so good. I think though, listen, and I'm going to, I have some friends. I'm not going to reveal anyone's names who have dabbled in some strange erotica reading before. You were saying you're friends with Claire Hooper, right?

She's directed your show. Yeah. Okay, interesting. I'm not going to, no, no, no, that's all we need to say. But I do know that there is a subset of erotica that has to do with, like, creatures. So I'm going to go with the velociraptors. The lesbian velociraptors. What's the full title of that one?

There's been velociraptors in Vegas. Also, because I just want to read that. Yeah. Yeah. Do they like, yeah, because velociraptors are like really, they're stone-called killers, but do they back off when they're... Yeah. Are they the clever girls from Jurassic Park?

They escape from Jurassic Park 3. Now they're in Vegas. I love it. They found the right spot there, clever girl. That was stunning. That was awful. Yeah. I think you both meant the same thing.

I light off my wig. That is so funny. Dave, what do you reckon? I think I'm going to go with, I was catfish, bro, literal catfish. And now we're in love. Okay. So I was trying to think of which title would, like, stand out on a bookshelf and that one, yeah, would get my.

attention. We'll get your attention. I'm thinking Minotaur. It's got a great rhythm. I'm sore Minotaur? What is a Minotaur? What is a Minotaur? Minotaur is half man, half bull?

Yeah. Half like, yeah. And Centaur is half horse, half man. Yes. I think Minotaur might be man bottom half and bull top half. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. I'm going to,

Did you Minotaur? Did you? I'm being very quiet over here, Till. Yeah. Oh, my Minotaur. Make me sore. Yeah, I'm going to go, I'm sore Minotaur. All right, locked in.

Here's her at the answers. White water shafting. That was Ashley. Oh, well done, Ashley. That was stunning. I'm sorry, me made fun of your last name. That is all quality. I think, yeah, Ashley is sent a few of these Chuck Tingle questions.

Is Chuck Tingle a real person? Yeah. Oh, okay. Where's a pink balaclava, like we don't know the real identity, but a prolific writer. Could be Ashley. Oh, my God. Yeah. They're off trying to, like, promote it, you know?

And they sell lots of copy. They're really quite popular, aren't they? Wow. Because they're, yeah, they're kind of satirical, I guess, almost, or I don't know if that's, I don't really know what that is. You think that Chuck Tingle would get a titular title. Oh, yeah. Yeah, his, what a name.

Chuck Tingle's so good. Return of the giant anus. This time it's worse an all. That was Dave Warnockies. From the troubled mind. I've said it all. Like the fact that it's a threat, like it's a return.

They finally escaped and somehow this is an erotic novel. It's the worssenol for me. I was going to call it this time it's one reads to get what the joke. Like worse anal. I started with worse anal. anal and then I thought that doesn't quite work. I would have butchered that. So that worse.

This time it's worse anal, but. Right. Obviously. Excellent wordplay. Thank you. Thank you so much. Lauren went for lesbian and velociraptors in Vegas.

I'm afraid that was Dill. Oh, well done. Well done. You got me. Can you see why I was so scared about revealing? Like, this is what popped in my head. I was like, lesbian velociraptors. And then I was uming and auring as to which suburb.

Like, which, which town? Is it Miami? Hawaii. Vegas felt like to... It does sound like it could be, you know, every book is from a different city. Yeah. C-S-I store.

Yeah, yeah. Franchise ice store. Now, Dill went for Make Me Saw Minotor. That was Lauren. Oh, well done. So we got like basically one for one. We both clever girled each other. Dave went for I was catfish by literal catfish.

I'm afraid that was the house. Oh, so that leaves? That leaves. We are loving bisexuals and they are living bicycles. Oh, wow. Wow, the most creative of them all. And it's like, yeah, you'd have to say that's the oldest of the mall. That is odd.

Yeah. I'll see if I can find the cover image for you to see. Or some fan art. I'll tell, yeah, it's pretty like because he pumps out these books. So there's, um. Oh, you got it. You got to pump them out, baby. It's the only way.

They look like very quickly Photoshopped covers. We are bisexuals and they're loving. Oh my God. So that's, yeah. So for those who are listening at home on audio, it's a bicycle, but instead of a handlebar, it's a woman's head. It's a woman's head. And instead of a seat is another person.

And to be fair. Yes. And to be fair, romance novels notoriously have terrible covers. So that actually totally tracks. Right. Yeah. Um, all right. So what does that mean?

We had, uh, points for Dill, Lauren and. the house, going into the penultimate question. Kind of unfair. The house, it's rigged because the house has multiple chances of getting points, right? That's true, but the house doesn't guess, so the house can't guess it right. Feckel, all right. You've had this argument before. You get triple points in the final round, the house doesn't?

It does all that. I feel like someone is already. And you're beating the house as it is. I'm still competitive, man. I don't know. I like it. So with two rounds to go, the scores are Dave and Lauren on two apiece, the house on three, be down front of five points

that's still look dressing her. Can you still lose it for me at three points? Certainly. Still anyone's game. Question five comes from Chris from Twickenham in London. That's not a real place. That is okay. I'm saying that.

That's the answer that's wrong. Twickenham. Twickenham. Isn't that one of the cricket grounds or something? Twickenham something, isn't it? I'll look that up while you're writing. It is a sporting question actually. Uh-oh.

Question is, what is the name of the burn-based Swiss Super League football team? and what is the name of their stadium? So the name of the football team, like the mascot and where they play, like in my team in the NFL, the Saints play at Marvel Stadium. But it's obviously, it's a little bit more memorable than that. And what game do they play?

Soccer in the Switzerland. Switzerland. Okay, so their mascot and their... And the name of the stadium. So do you say mascot or team name? Yeah, team name. So like the Saints. You know what I mean?

mean? Yep, yep, yep, yep. While you're writing your answers, listeners, enjoy this, the synopsis, I haven't read this yet, but I'm sure it's going to be great. The synopsis to we are loving bisexuals and they are living bicycles. Melissa and Jeff are a happily married couple, looking for a way to bring more of the great outdoors into their lives.

While discussing their options over dinner, they grab the attention of another couple, living bicycles by the name of Trinta and Bendo who quickly invite them out for a ride. Now these two couples are embarking on a journey up the mountainside, but the real journey lies in the erotic tension that begins to blossom between these new same-sex bicycle and rider pairings. Soon enough, the group is experiencing a full swap of bisexual mountain bike passion, learning there's really nothing like a good hard bike ride.

This erotic tale is 4,000 words of sizzling human on bisexual living bicycle action. The answer in four. Question number five. What is the name of the Burn Bay Swiss Super League football team? What is the name of their stadium? The White Yetis who play at Lord Fred Deke Stadium. Deek, Dick. The Bernese mountain hogs who play at the Hogdome.

The plumbers who play at KFC Stadium. the young boys who play at Wankdorf Stadium the triangles who play at Toblerone Dome or the killer clowns who play at the House of Fun Okay Dave, we're back to you What do you think? Oh my gosh The White Yetis, Bernice, Mountain Hogs

The plumbers, the young boys, the triangles or the killer clowns And where do the young boys play? Wanked off stadium Wankdorf Stadium It's either that or... They're all tempting, I've got to tell you. Young boys are tempting? Is that what you just said?

I'm actually most tempted by the plumbers. It's like... Where do the plumbers play? KFC Stain. KFC Stain. I like that that is both so basic. Because it's like, you know, this Swiss, you know, expecting it to be...

Like a wanked off. Yeah. Or like the high brow one, I think it was Swiss and early. Yeah, the plums. Like could have been. A lot of these, you know, football teams just start out of a group. You know, some of them are a church group or a working group or a group of young boys. Blanked one.

And what was the last one? The last one, killer clowns. White Yeties, Bernice, Mount Hogs, plumbers, young boys, triangles, killer clowns. Triangles. I'm just going to go with plumbers. at KFC Stadium. Thank you. Dill.

I'm going to go. The answer I choose is young boys because I'm scared about the edit. I'm going to go with. All right. Dill is going with young boys. Can you read them again? Sorry.

Yeah, sure. The White Yeties, Lord Fred Deek Stadium. Bernie's Mountain Hogs at the Hogdome. Plumers at KFC Stadium, young boys at Wankdorf Stadium, triangles at Toblerone Dome or Killer Clowns at the House of Fun. I'm going to go to the triangles.

Why not? Carn triangles. All right, locked in. Here's who wrote the answers. The Killer Clowns. That was the house. The white Yeties. That was Lauren.

So I probably, did I butcher the stadium? No, it was fine. Lord Fred Dick. That's another way to say Dick in like a Norwegian language. Love it. The Bernese mountain hogs at the Hogdome I was Dave Ornickie. The Hogdoll.

I nearly picked that. That was good. I enjoyed Hogdome. Dave went for the plumbers. That was Dill. That's three times. Three times I've got you. I was three straight.

I sent your panic, like, revised at Pizza Hut Stadium. Because I thought KFC was too obviously me. That's so funny. What's on Dills, my popcorn. It's so simple. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, no, that's really good. But your Australia's been working.

Days fall on for everyone. Lauren went for the Triangles at the Toblerone Dome. I'm afraid that was Chris, the question writer. Oh, well done, Chris. I love the sound of Toblerone Dome. Same. I would love to go there. And Triangles is a great.

Oregon, that's a fun name. You're Swiss, you never know. Like, that seems like something they would do. They love a mountain peak. That's trials. That's true. That's where I was going. And yeah, I reckon there was an early American football team who were called the...

The Yetis? The Triangles. Oh, the triangles. Yeah. There's a band called the Triangles too. It's a great name. It's a great name. Great name, great shape.

Yeah, great. And that means Dill is correct. This is the young boys who play at Wanked off Stadium. Did you know that? I knew young boys. Young boys, but not Wanked off Stadium. That is very unfortunate. That is very unfortunate.

That is crazy. that, like, the young boys one I'd heard, I think I saw it in a meme or something like that, you know, because like the FIFA president announcing young boys and it's like intercut with some other silly thing, you know what I mean? And so, whereas Wanktorf Stadium is the better gag. I'm like, why aren't we talking more about Wanktov Stadium? That's crazy. I think they'll tell you what's actually pronounced very differently from that. Oh, yeah, true. It's like, Coburn. Vankthorff or something. But, you know. Yeah. Okay, Dill continues his hot run. what have we got there Dill gets two points The House one points So go into the final round

Which is worth triple points Is still truly anyone's game? Is it actually? It is mathematically Well you gotta remember triple points If you take a clean sweep Anyone will leap to the lead here Sure you can get like

You can get up to nine points You know if you really clean sweep it But the scores are going to the final round Dave and Lauren on two The House on four But right out in front on seven points is still addressing it. Seven.

All right. The final question inspired by a CJ tour from Chicago. The question is, what is the, we normally finish with a movie plot synopsis, but this one is a video game plot synopsis. Oh.

So what is the video game plot synopsis? It only has to be brief, two, three sentences. Okay. What is the plot slash gameplay of the 2014 video game called murder? Video game called murder. And while you're writing your answers, here's some more info about the young boys.

According to his sporting news, as one of the most prominent clubs in Swiss football, BSC Young Boys, name Intrigues fans worldwide. They are one of the oldest teams in Switzerland and have won the Swiss Super League 17 times overall, including in six of the past seven seasons. The club's name dates back to the late 19th century when they were founded by four students. Max Schwab, Herman Bauer, Franz Curley and Oscar Schwab. Given their ages, they called themselves FC Young Boys. They played their first match on June 17, 1898, against FC Victoria,

initially competing as a student team of FC Burn. There was an acrimonious split once senior players representing the latter felt their places in the team were threatened by the young upstarts. Young boys were admitted to the Swiss Football Association in 1900 and have hardly looked back. In 1925 they became Burnish Sport Club young boys and aimed serving as a testament to the club's local pride, especially when representing the City of Bern in European competitions. They remain BSC young boys to this day.

Coordinator Chris, the question writer, as one of the top two Swiss teams, young boys often qualify for the European Champions League and or Europa League, leading to many away supporters having to travel to burn and visit the Wankdorf Stadium. The current stadium is the second to bear the name and often hosts gigs, including by Elton John, Bruce Springsteen and Celine Dion. They've all played Wankdorf. The German pronunciation is Stadion Wankdorf, but this is less amusing to me than the English,

especially for non-erotic English speakers. I'm with you there, Chris. All right, the answer in for the final question. I should say there's only one house option here, so five options, because these are longer and it's... People get lost in all the options here. Oh, you're telling me. Yeah, fair, fair, fair.

Yeah, we had to come up with it on the fly. Not are you sitting at home going, let me think of lesbian velociraptors. All right, the question is, what is the plot slash gameplay of the 2014 video? video game murder. You are a magpie disguised as a crow. The goal is to gain the flocks trust,

which you do by completing tasks for different crow community members such as Dr Crow, Plummer Crow and Farmer Crow. Option 2 A game where two players compete to solve riddles and brain teasers. The faster the player solves the puzzle, the more destructive the weapon they receive in a bloody hand-to-hand fight to the death. it's the ultimate battle of brain and brawn. Option three, the ghost of a young baker stalks the streets of London

trying to uncover the identity of the person who murdered him 78 years ago. Along the way, he must also ensure that he isn't captured by the giant sewer rats who threaten to eat his soul. That's option number three. Option four, it's a puzzle game involving intercepting and altering messages across fictitious fantasy kingdoms that use crows to communicate. Or finally, you start the game as an assassin plotting to kill the king.

Your goal is to take him out without being noticed. If you manage to kill the king, you get to take his place. But if the king turns around and sees you, you will be imprisoned and have to start over. All right, Dill, what do you reckon? So we got two crew options. Two croopsions, yeah. What was the...

They got the ghost of a baker. You've got the Brain Teases, Battle of Brain and Braun. Uh-huh. And the last one, trying to take out the king and take his place. What was the second crow? Second Crow... A puzzle game involving intercepting and altering messages across fictitious fantasy kingdoms that use crows to communicate.

That feels like... online game that could exist. There's a few different kind of styles in there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That feels like, I'm urging towards that one. What was the first crow? First crow was where you magpie disguised the crow. And you have to be tasks.

For me, I'm going to go, do I do the second crow. No, I'm going to go. Read the synopsis of the final, the king thing. You start the game as an assassin plotting to kill the king. Your goal is to take him out without being noticed. If you manage to kill the king, you get to take his place. But if the king turns around and sees you, you will have to start over.

Yeah, I'm going to go with that one. All right. Fucked in. Oh. Okay, so there's two. The first crow is the magpie as a crow. Yep. The other one is intercepting messages.

Can you read that one again? A puzzle game involving intercepting and altering messages across fictitious fantasy kingdoms that use crows to communicate. I'll go with that one. All right. Walked in. And Dave? My game is to not pick Dills one.

Okay. Because I've done it every other time. I really like, I think the first one sounds like a semi-cozy game that our friend Jess Perkins would play. You're pretending to be a crow. You do little crow tasks. I'm going to go with that one. All right. But is your instinct for going for that, does that mean it's going to be deals?

Yeah, true. That's what you're feeling. Could it be that? Yeah, that's right. I'm just tempted. No, I think it's a great. If it is you, let's make that game together. I don't play any games, by the way, so I have no idea.

This was the worst question to ask me. I also love how you just included yourself in my crazy good business plan. Let's make it together. I'm like, you did nothing. You can be a customer. I believe in you. Yeah, sure, sure, sure. When no one else.

You can be a customer. That's a generous offer. Final offer. Yes. You can buy it. You can buy it again and give it to jazz. All right. Here's the other answers.

The ultimate battle between brain and brawn. That was Dave Warnocky. Yep. Right. I swear that had very Warnocky as to it. Hand on my heart. I promise I was going to say, that feels like Dave, but I didn't want to, like, you know, throw you off either.

Yeah, sure. I don't know, I'm starting to get in your brain as well in return. I tell you, no one picked my favorite one. The ghost of a young baker trying to uncover the identity of the person who murdered him seven, eight years ago. Man, that sounds awesome. I'd watch it. I'd play it. You know what, lost me on that one, the sewer rats.

Oh, it was a bit of a vibe change. Was that house? No, that was Lauren. Oh, that was Lauren. I was going to say. I thought sacking the soul out, that could add another element, but then I was like, maybe it's too far. Maybe I was right. I think, had that last bit not been there?

That would have been my lock for sure. Oh, yeah. That was such a good game. Yeah, I just had me. I was hooked. Right. Dale, you're not going to make an offer to make this game? I'd love to buy that game.

All right. Dave went for the Magpie to Skies and the Crow. I'm afraid that was the house. At least it's not me. Yeah, that's right. Dave and Jess talk about these cozy games all the time. I've never played one, but I was basically trying to right one that is like what you guys talk about.

Exactly. Which sounds like a, it's always there's like animals, but they do jobs. Yeah, it's basically, what I always are. Yeah, that sounds cozy. Yeah, yeah. You have to be, do a job. You're a squirrel, but you're an optometrist. And you're always trying to marry the town doctor.

That's really sweet. I would play that. Yeah. Lauren went for, and this is real, real diabolical stuff. Lauren went for the second My second crow one As Dill called it Okay, Dill's answer

And if you play back the tape There was me deliberating on whether I should take it And as I'm doing that I'm like Stop being so competitive Just let him go You're already winning It feels like that He's already dead

And I'm looking at you Like because I think you knew You know who it is And I'm like looking and trying to get like a laugh Or something out of you Just as a fun of it I'm playing straight. He's playing it straight and I'm like, no, it's me.

And I'm like trying to like urge the two of you to pick it. And I, did you feel that, Dave? I didn't feel that. Because I really thought you were taking advantage of a first time player there. You definitely would. So I think that I should get a point for that. Okay, you can have one of my many points. Don't apologize.

If you were Miss Whitrop, who does the same tactics, wouldn't be saying, wouldn't be apologising. Mitch would be going. That's what you get. That's what you get when you play against Big Wet. Right. As she's known on this show. I was going to say.

I'd see. But if people from the traders are watching, hey, get me on. Like, see, I can. So what, so what's left then? What is left? The correct answer. The final one, yeah, the, the assassin plotting to kill the king, which still got as well. Wow.

Which sounds like the dullest of all of them. I was going to say, I nearly picked that, but what told me not to is that in the last sentence, the way it was worded, I was like, that doesn't sound like a real game. It's not how you would word that. And present something like that you'd have to start over. Oh, that's sort of like, a level of a game. That doesn't sound like a game. There's a bunch of games, I think, online that are, like, designed to frustrate you.

Like, it's the whole, like, I think it's just like you have to do it so meticulously. And if you stuff up, you go all the way to the start. Right. I was thinking, like, yeah, great, then what? Yeah. Well, this is what, apparently it went really viral, and there probably is more to it than that. But it went really viral in the website states, the game disguises a lighthearted and slapstick-fueled one-button gimmick. So, basically, there's a king's facing away from you.

you just stand in behind, you got to hold the space bar down until it gets to full power and then you get to stab him in the back. But if he turns around while you're powering up, then you get caught. So every time he goes to turn around, you've got to stop. So it's just like red, like green light. I guess so. Oh, yeah. But it says, that's what it's disguised as.

But it subtly unfolds its core as an experimental contemplation about power, trust and mistrust and the infinite loop of greed and need. Oh, my God. As the player engages deeper in the daring loop of assassinations. They might be talking up, I don't know, but apparently is very popular. Oh, okay. All right, before we get to final scores, where can people find you? You can find me on mostly Instagram and TikTok, but I never check it,

but my username is the same on both. It's Live Laugh-Laren underscore underscore, and I do gigs and stuff. You'll probably see me at those too. Yes, awesome. And if they want to see you live, especially around Melbourne, probably just following you on Instagram's the best way to... That's probably the best way. I don't have a website because I'm lazy.

I don't know anything about video game. It's all the same. That's right. I am doing a show though in like September called Business Women's Luncheon Level Up for Success, which is about pyramids games. Awesome. Where's that on? That'll be at Trades Hall.

Sick. Awesome. Dave, what about you? You can listen to me on the Bookcheed podcast. Matt, you're on last week's episode when this comes out. Yes. We just recorded it. We just recorded it.

I talked you about the Voltaire novel. Basically, I tell me about the plot of a classic novel. And we did the Voltaire novel Condide, which was a satire of philosophy at the time. I had to get my notepad out. It was a fast-paced thing with a lot of names I've never heard before. Yeah, but it's a lot more, yeah, wild than I ever would have imagined. And of course, if you're in Canada, please come see us at Do Go On, please. Yes, this September as well.

If you're in Canada, come to Dogo On. you're in Melbourne, go to trades hall. Or check me on Reddit at Clit Hero. Clit Hero. And Dill, what about you? Just, I'm on Instagram at Dill Rook-J. I think that's probably the best starting point. That's why I remember to post most of my gigs.

But I also have like, you know, Facebook and stuff. But I need to be better at those things. And they should be commenting on your post saying, I would have gone to Brisbane if I knew. If I had knew it. If I only had known. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Awesome.

All right. Final score check. This is going to surprise some people. Who's going to be? I can't wait for this. In equal third place, bronze medalists both on two points a piece. It's Dave Warnicki and Lauren Edwards. Yes.

High five. White water shafting friend. Third place. Top three. Top three, baby. In second place on five points, it's the house. But absolutely mopping the floor with everyone else on third. 13 points of the Storkman 13.

I mean, I mean, who guys, I wish I had more things to plug after such a victory. Yeah, that's incredible. That is very impressive.

This is the happiest I've been in a long time. Oh, this is really good. Yeah, like, you know, both of my child

not even comes close. I don't have kids, but I just assume it's not going to feel as good as this. How could it possible. Awesome. Thanks so much for joining us.

Thanks everyone for tuning in to who knew with Matt Stewart and now that you know it, I've been Matt's show it. Goodbye. We're all good. And obviously it's edited so if you do, you can feel free to ask if you're confused as we go. We're obviously allowed to swear. That's all right. Yes. What about racial slurs? Are only ones I agree with.

So the lot. Above all, take everything above. I mean, I only skips and Right, right. Whitey Cracker. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Only ones that I've got heritage of, you can do the Italian ones. Yeah, you've got Italian. You can do the Irish ones.

Yeah, Scottish. What was the Croatian, apparently? What's Mum's made name again? Mascherini. Man, Matt Mascherini. Straight out of Marvel. Like, as if you don't want to like follow the journeys of Matt Mascherini. It would have changed everything.

Matthew Stewart. It's so dull. I'll follow it. sleep as you're saying it. To a absolute insane start. I'm so excited. The funny thing is that I booked you on initially because Michelle Brazier was going to be on and her management's like, we want people voting for her in the Logie Awards.

I'm like, I'll get Dill on. He can give some advice, but Michelle couldn't do it anymore. Okay. Well, I can see it. So I got Dave in. Yeah. How do I win a Loki deal? Yeah.

How do I win a Loki deal? How do we do it? You firstly get cast on a show that's already very popular, like Utopia. And then you get the Sri Lankan community to get behind you and remind them that you might be the first Sri Lankan to ever win a Logie, even though Jamie Jewry has... I'm writing this down, Dillard sounds great. Yeah.

That's a pretty straightforward. Yeah, it's a solid advice. Do you think if I was nominated, would you step in for me and try and motivate the Sri Lankan community to get behind me? I mean, Warnaki could almost... Like, there is a Sri Lankan surname called Varna Kulousuria. You know, like, so it's very similar. There's a, there's a, there's a, there's a, there's a couple of letters that basically get used in, in, in, uh, in, like, in oneicky.

Yeah, there's a way to lie essentially and say, he's Sri Lankan. And I can, yeah, just don't put your photo on the, on the form. Yeah. And Dave could be like D.E.V. Like, Dev, you know, that's good. That's stunning. I would have to do Indira. I would have to take. There's no way.

Indira tubula. I think Indira tubula could be really big. I love that. Actually, that's my next show title. Yeah, yeah, your, the titular, Indira tubula. Could be like a Byron Bay wellness guru. Could.

Indira tubular. You know, she loves her surfing as well as her, you know, snake oil. Oh, the big, too. Yeah. But, you know, it's been, we've been putting the videos up for months now, and it does seem that people prefer not to look at me. I just forgot that we're still recording because I can't do, I can't do two things at once.

Yeah, exactly. And I'm like, well, you don't have to know. You just fully focus on that. And Connor, our editor will edit around things to make us, I assume I don't listen back, but I assume.

Why would you? I should make us look good. Is there a possible, if you're worried that your face is what's getting people off YouTube, edit, Conada could edit around your face. Oh, true.

Maybe they tune in thinking maybe I'm Sri Lankan and then they say and they go, oh, we don't want to watch this. What, Dave, do you want to tell listeners that we're going to Canada? Oh my gosh, everyone at home, particularly if you're in Canada or nearby Canada

and all could get there in September, we're coming to Canada. The Do Go On podcast. Oh, I thought we as in the four of us. I was like, I didn't plan that, but okay, I'll come, I guess.

I just want a way to find out. We're coming to Canada, everyone. Surprise. Look under your seat, Bill. Oh, you're the Oprah. Business class return airfare. Oh, wow. Is that how you guys roll on?

Do you go on. No, you're... Sorry, finish. Finish the plug. You're our guest. You get to go to business. Oh, okay, nice, nice. No, we are flying to Canada to perform some shows in September in...

Where are we going? We're going to go to Vancouver, Calgary, Montreal and Toronto. And we've just added an extra show in Toronto, which is going to be, Matt, our annual Christmas special. Oh, my God. How excited. Christmas. September.

Yeah, that all just nut. I also love that you're not going south of the border. Seems to be your sting. All right. I feel like some of you might get deported. It was our dream to get there, but it was too hard. Dave's surname was just too dark. Yeah.

They don't believe in Australian passport with the Australian name. So yeah, you come along. And Matt, you're also going to be doing some stand-up shows with the great Alastair Tromley-Burtz. Yes. Oh, I'm so excited to catch up with you. He's moved back there Must be maybe a couple of years ago now And yeah, it's fun

We're going to all those same four cities We're doing shows And tickets will be on south of those as well Check out Matt Stewartcom Yeah, do it If you're going to say one of the shows I'd say the stand-up show, not the podcast Yeah, for sure absolutely

What a vote of confidence I was thinking the link you gave was for your website Well, you know, he's cross-promoting I imagine it is cheaper, but you will only get two and not three performers on total. Oh, true. Yeah, yeah. So it does make sense. But we will have thought about what we're saying beforehand or for the stand-up show.

Yeah, does that make you feel better? Some of you've been working on potentially for years. Yeah. But you'll get more people to come to our show where we just, two out of three, make it up. Make shit up as you make. Yeah. Yeah, it feels really good. It's a real catch-duty too, isn't it?

Because on the one hand, like, what a dream where you are embraced to be yourself without over-thinking. it and over preparing. But then also the other end is when the thing I really put a lot of effort into like, nah, not for us. I'll skip, I'll skip that.

Yeah. Good, cute. But good for you. Yeah, good for you. Don't give it up, but just not for me. That's what it's just like catch and catch.

But I'm sure you've had people who discovered you from To Go on that they're now to like shows. Yeah, sure. Definitely. And then don't return because they keep. Yeah. This isn't like the podcast. Yeah.

Yeah. We gave you a trial. They gave a trial. Yeah, they turn up and they go, where's Jess? Where's the one I like? This is the bit where I have to cut and paste your answers. Yeah. Oh, sure.

So feel free to talk over it or not. I'm too paranoid about like edit points. No, no, no, no, no, no. No. No, no, no, no, no. All right, no, no, no, no, no, no. All right, no, no, no, no, no, no, all this is good gear then. Don't worry about that, man.

That's all right, right. Let's want some bloody NRL, shall me. I'm curious to hear your thoughts on why it's a perfect snack Because I might agree with you, but I want to hear why you present that I mean, look, for me, I think snacks fall into two categories Either they taste good or they're good for you They can't be both things except for popcorn, in my opinion Do you know what I mean?

Good for you. Well, popcorn is not good for you, it's just not bad for you Not, I mean, it is corn It does have nutritional value It's corn! You're like a TikTok kid Yeah, it's gone! It's gone.

But here's where I will push back a bit, even though I think popcorn is my favorite snack. Well, you're careful where you go with this because I might not give you

anymore. That's fair because you don't look at a gift corn in a mouse in the mouth but it can go soggy quicker.

You know what I mean? Like the staying power of popcorn on a road trip for example like you and I did.

Remember when I showed up in the car with 16 bags of popcorn? They were all pressure sealed. You didn't go for one huge bag.

No, I went for small 16, 16 small bags of popcorn. So you could keep the freshness ready. Yeah. But that's true of any snack.

Not all of them. Like an avocado stays fresh. Have you ever eaten an avocado? I was trying to think of the opposite. What's the most, what's the thing that goes stale quicker? An avocado popped to mine and it's not even a snack. You could have basically said like, have you ever had raw meat? Great snack.

Have you ever eaten fish straight from the ocean? Jerky, jerky, jerky, jerky doesn't go bad. It does go soggy though. Where would they go? No, like a jerky's conserved. Oh man, sorry. Sogy jerky. Soggy jerky that used to be here in Sky High School again.

That was it. It's a game we all played. Good name for a bird. Soggy jerky. Damn it! To fill space, I can tell listeners, sorry, I'm talking to myself. I don't have to pay attention this. I can tell the listeners that my show Bad Boys coming out on the Humdinger channel

on the 8th of August premiering there, 8pm, 888. Easy to remember. That was an accident. Oh, really? I mean, that's a very lucky number, I think, in a lot of Eastern philosophies. Yeah, 8-8-8. So I, and, but someone pointed out to me that in those places, it won't be 8 o'clock. So I'm like, oh, no, it'd probably landed a really unlucky time in those countries.

Otherwise, could have been big. The Eastern Chubby Robin would have loved it. But yeah, that's on the Humdinger channel. Obviously, it will remain up there, but it'll premiere. So if you want to be there and join the chat. Hour special, yeah. Beautiful. And where'd you'd done it at this year's festival or?

From last year. From last year. Yeah. Well honed. Well honed, yeah. How was it taping? Did you find you happy with it? Yeah, it was funny.

Good. Quite a... Ah, okay. I thought that's the end of the sentence. There was a long break before the edit. And I was to the point where I'm like watching it, I thought it was going to be worse than it was. You know, I thought it was going to be a harder,

a harder watch than it was. And I'm like, oh, this is all right. I think it's all right. I can't believe I put people through this. I was so ready to be like, fuck, we can't put this out. Oh my God. I think you guys really got the memo with this one. I'm so excited.

I'm also nervous as well. Like I feel like every other question is like doesn't really give you a insight into people's psyche whereas this one can. This is the one you're choosing to decide what you think about it. What do I mean? Like it feels like it shouldn't be. It should be just, oh, just have a creative brain.

But there's like a lot of fear as to like, what does that say about? Yeah. This is where my brain went to. We'll hear this and I'll say, Lauren, it's been so nice meeting it. That's with the popcorn. but you really need to not talk to people.

I've actually drugged the popcorn. Oh, my God. With butter. I've just put your answers in all the wrong spots. It's good popcorn break. Just do it. Yeah, get all the crunches out. I'm sure people are going to complain.

Probably. But you know that it's a real thing in ASMR is eating sounds. Yeah. Positive. Some people love it. Did you learn that on Reddit? No. Are you much of a Redditter?

I don't know too much. about Reddit. Oh, I use Reddit like more as a lurker. I don't post on there. But I like, like, because I don't trust anything on Google anymore. I'm like, funny to find an answer to something. I'm like, oh, the good people have read it on. Oh, you know what? I take it back. I have stumbled on Reddit through like questions. I mean like, hey, why does my headphones keep switching off? Yeah. Blah, blah, blah. And then someone on Reddit always knows. Yeah. Yeah. I love it. It's great. And someone said like, during like saying that I should go on comedy festival, like there's a subreddit or

whatever. And that apparently there are people who are fans. of mine or something like that. And I was like, quite cool. And then I control F searched. And it was like a negative. And I'm like, why did I put myself to do that? Yeah. Don't do it.

Don't know. The instant regret or like, that was never going to go well. Whatever it was. The ego got so excited that someone said, someone said something. That's a bad one. Well, actually, that was me that. It was me that left that comment. I will apologize.

Yeah, it was clean hero. It was clithero. It was clit hero. Yeah. Make me sore, Minator. Something about it. Yeah. Um, my friend.

actually did read a book that was about a Minotaur. That's where that came from. Yes, there's a big subsection of, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think that's where we got each other, because I, we were the only ones who had, like, an animal-based one, because we would have both heard these kind of crazy werewolves and raptors and all those kinds of things. Because I believe the dinosaurs is like a, there's a gay porn series that's really popular or, like, gay dinosaurs.

Yeah, and might even be a chuck tingle thing as well. He does have some, yeah. Writing these answers to you, I just keep double checking that I am sending them to you because I'm like, if I send this to the wrong person, they're going to be like, what the fuck? Make me sore Minotaur, you sexual pervert. We did a live episode a couple of weeks ago

and Mish Whitrop was on and she was... Oh, I saw this and she sent it to the wrong mat or something. Yeah, yeah. She was seeing it. Oh, yeah. Like she didn't really know going on and maybe a first date that night. Yep, yep, yep.

And she unsent it too late. So funny. But I asked her for an update and she said it just didn't come up. I assume she was talking about the conversation. Yeah. I'm sure that's what she meant. Imagine losing it from here.

I think if I lost it from here, I would genuinely be more upset than I'd want to be. Like, I don't want to be upset, but I think I will if I lose it from here. That's knowing yourself. You know what? It's just annoying to be this passionate. You're a competitor.

That's where you're a Hawthorne supporter. You just don't know. You're like that Magnus guy you're talking about. Oh, yeah. With chest. You don't know losing. Magnus Carlson. So it hurts harder.

True, true, true. You go to the Saints. Yeah. You deal with it. feels uncomfortable winning to be honest. I love the chat. Got the Mario Brothers theme running through my head now.

No, no, no, no. Banamana, manum. Bena, manum. So I saw this real about the most popular sounds of video games. And the coin in Mario was number one. Oh. But like number two was like, I don't know,

like a Sonic's ring or something like that. And I was like, really? Like, surely there's more, like, All five are Mario. Like, you know what I mean? Like the point. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Or even the getting, oh, getting, do do do do do do.

Yeah. Yeah, totally. Yeah, maybe the Sonic movies have brought back a bit of Sonic love. Because that seems very olden days now, Sonic. Do, do, do, do, do do. Are you going to get charged royalties for this? When does this come out, by the way? This comes out on Monday.

All right. You got something in coming. I was wondering what I could potentially plug during this popcorn break. Yeah, what do you go coming up? Should I check the Dell website? No, I just got Brisbane, not Comedy Festival, Brisbane outside of the Comedy Festival. Brisbane.

It's Brisbane. It's Brisbane. Yeah, the other 51 weeks of the year. Yeah, exactly. It's just Brisbane. But it is at the Powerhouse where they do have the Comedy Festival. That's why I get confused. But it's this weekend.

So if you're listening to this on Monday, it's just gone by. So if you are a Brisbane fan, hey, just let me know that you were at both. You would have gone. Yeah, you went to. Oh, yeah, don't tell me if you would have gone had you known because that would be really annoying. But no, you know what? That would be nice to know as well that, hey, next time before I tour Brisbane, I'll do

Matt Stewart's podcast. Yeah, let it go. Hey. Oh, would have. We had a question from a Brisbane. night just before about the bald knob I mean that yeah

when you put them all together I was just looking at up wanked off our text chain the text chain that we have is nuts lesbian velociraptors you spunk I occasionally

wait a while I'll see a chain like that and we haven't and I just message you're all right mate is everyone okay Should look at our last change. Sounds like you're going through something. Well, I think it's been a very fun episode.

I hope you guys had a good time. It's been lovely. The popcorn in particular has been my favorite. That's the hero, the clear hero of the day. A clear hero of the day. Thank you so much. Oh, wow, look at this. This is my last text change with you from 2025.

Kasu Matsu, it's a form of Japanese forest meditation. Blue-necked Smam. So apparently I go with blue and blue. You love working blue. You had to hold your Wii for as long as possible and you won a Nintendo Wii gaming. Yes, I remember that. That's the question at the top of the show.

1660, slopsie-commer. Oh my God. He was the lead cartographer in drawing off the borders between North and South America's. How does your brain work? Yeah, a cowboy rises to become a professional bull riding champion. In the 1980s, along the way, he endured some bad injuries while balancing his marriage to his wife, who is secretly cheating on him with his brother.

Okay, now you're just showing off. I'm like, we know you're winning, Dill. We don't have to keep telling everyone all these great answers that you did. That is fair. That's fair. But I've got to be honest, like, fuck, man, I want to see that. Whatever that synopsis that I've written there. Yeah, this is.

Fucking out. This is a professional.