Who Knew It with Matt Stewart - 21 - Alexei Toliopoulos and Jack Druce

Episode Date: January 30, 2023

Who Knew It with Matt Stewart is a comedy game show podcast hosted by Australian comedian Matt Stewart. This episode features Alexei Toliopoulos (Finding Yeezus) and Jack Druce (Rat Paradise)!Check out Matt's stand up special: https://youtu.be/cWStRpI-BhECheck out Jack's stand up special: https://youtu.be/cvJ7t7pD16QWatch Alexei's Finding Yeezus: https://youtu.be/BZiJnQrsyiMSupport the show via http://patreon.com/dogoonpod and you can submit questions for the show!See the show live, get tickets via: https://www.mattstewartcomedy.com/Check out Matt's podcast network: https://dogoonpod.com/Theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and Logo by @muzdoodles! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Oh my God, can you believe it? It's the year 2024. It's Melbourne Comedy Festival and we've just moved venues. We're at the Grace Darling now. We had a great run at the Chinese Museum, selling out shows by the end, but now we need you to come over to the Grace Darling and shows are at 7.15. It's going to be so much fun. Love to see you there. Let's have a beer. Use discount code DOGOON. The show's called Dry Dry at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival. Then we're going to Sydney and Brisbane. Tickets to all that stuff's on sale now. And you can find those tickets and details at mattstuartcomedy.com. Welcome to Who Knew It with Matt Stewart, the show where the guests write the wrong answers. I'm the titular Matt Stewart and our first guest this week from Finding Yeezus and the Total Reboot podcast, it's Alexei Taliopoulos. It is my pleasure and my dream to be amongst you today, friends. Our second guest this week has his debut special Rat Paradise streaming worldwide. Welcome Jack Druce.

This is the greatest honor of my life to be with you fellas today. Wow. Holy moly. It's not getting any better for me either. I can guarantee that. We have reached the pinnacle and now we shall trudge forth into heaven together because the only way is up. It's so good to have you both here.

The vibe in the room is electric. Wow. Let me tell you how the show works. I ask a relatively obscure trivia question and our contestants have to write a convincing fake answer. I then read their answers as well as the real one and I have to guess which one is correct. Okay, are we ready to play? I was actually one of the few people on this earth that was born ready. I was born incapable of doing this.

Okay, jeez. After a lot of surgery and therapy, I think I'm ready. Well, we are two geniuses in the room today, so the chances of us knowing the answer, I would say extremely high. Two of the most learned meds in the world of comedy coming head to head.

Alright, here's question number one. And this one comes from Alan Kerr from Glasgow. The question is, what is the meaning of the word defense? What is the meaning of the word defense? What is the meaning of the word? The meaning of the word defense? Okay, I think I know this one. We've got to act like we don't know it, right? Okay, alright. Defense, maybe like the type of fish, I guess.

Maybe the French word for defense, I'd say. Yeah, yeah. What is the meaning of the word defenestration? What is the meaning of the word defenestration? What is the meaning of the word defenestration? All right. While they're writing their answers, I'll explain how the scoring works. So you get one point if your fake answer is guessed by the other contestant and another point if you correctly guessed the answer. By the way, I'm also playing as the house. I've put into my own fake answers with the help of the question writers for each question, and I get a point for each one of those that our guests choose. So each of us can score up to two points per round. It seems fair, but the probability actually favors me, the house, and the house always wins. So if you've listened to most of the episodes, you know that is

often not the case. Anyway, our questions come from our great Patreon supporters. If you want to submit a question, sign up on any level via patreon.com slash do go on pod linked in the show notes. All right, the answers are in. So let's go back to our first question. What is the meaning of the word defenestration? Here are your five options. A wartime tactic where foreign spies learn military secrets by seducing the partners of high ranking government officials. The removal of drainage systems,

the act of throwing someone or something out of a window to remove one's toenails permanently or deliberately leaving the milk out so that it goes off. Wow, wow. So many glorious options. Yes. And each one more interesting than the last. Yeah.

I am kind of thinking at the moment that the answer could perhaps be the removal of, would you say drainage systems? Yes. But that seems like such a specific thing. Like, why would you need to remove drainage systems? Is it, and there's no talk of putting new ones in place. So, is it just making something more shit? Like, to just go, well, yeah, we're just going to have an empty hut now with no drainage.

You can just live there. No problem. If they're not, you know, re-fenestrating. Re-fenestration I've never heard of before. But you have heard of de-fenestration. Well, I've heard of it as of three seconds ago. Well, you know, the next question may well be what is re-fenestration? Wow.

And then hopefully I would have learned from this around a little something to help me out. I think I will go with that, removing the drainage. But, you know, they might be going off the grid. I don't know if removing drainage is something people off the grid do, but if they're legitimate, they would. Yeah. If only I knew what to fenister something meant, then I could surely deduce what this

is. That's a big part of it, I reckon. How about you, Jack? I don't know. I'm thinking about the seducing the government officials' partners. That seems like such a wild position to have in the military. Yeah, the defenestrator. Yeah, I feel like it'd be hard to, like, mingle with your veterans post-war.

They're all talking about the trenches and stuff. And it's like, yeah, some of those dames I was smooching in Paris. Yes, I was in nature's trench. Yeah. Isn't a relationship the ultimate trench? Am I right, fellas? We all have our scars. Yeah.

I wonder if there's wartime medals for that. Yeah. Oh, yeah. It's just a little high five on a little medallion. Yeah, yeah. but I wonder if there's wartime medals for that yeah oh yeah it's just a little high five on a little medallion yeah some sort of

body count thing two eyes and one of them is winking on the medal but sorry can you tell me

the last two again because you said I'll quickly go through them all again so we had that wartime one then we had removal of drainage

systems act of throwing someone or something out of a window to remove So we had that wartime one. Then we had removal of drainage systems. Act of throwing someone or something out of a window to remove one's toenails permanently or deliberately leaving the milk out so that it goes off. Now the toenails one, that sounds a bit like the drainage one. There's no talk of replacing the toenails there, Alex. Wow, wow, wow. Have you ever been caught, Alex?

Oh, yeah. No one's, you know, not? Wow, wow, wow. Have you ever been called Alex? Oh, yeah. No one's, you know, not on the record before, but I will respond to Alex. If you call me Alex, good Lord, I will fucking lay waste to you, brother. How would the removal of toenails permanently, like what would be done so that they don't grow back? Yeah, you can take them off, but then-

You could cut the whole foot off perhaps. That might help them from growing back permanently. Yeah, if you took your whole foot off, describing that as removing your toenails permanently would be a wild description of that act. That might be known as the greatest defenestration of them all, to take the whole foot off. No, I'm sticking with seducing the partners of government officials.

Okay, locking that in for Jack. All right, let's go through who wrote the answers. First up, they're deliberately leaving the milk out so that it goes off. That was the house, specifically written by Alan, the question writer. Of course a house would write something that's a common household problem. That's why I didn't lock that one in. Yeah. I quite enjoyed Alan's work there.

Then we had to remove one's toenails permanently. That was written by Alex. Yes. Yes. I thought it would be a disgusting thing to imagine and to really strike you out, Drewis. Your strategy is to destroy my brain early in the game so I can't function anymore. To give you some kind of mid-game illness, perhaps,

like you can win by default. The removal of drainage systems. That was written by Jack. Wow. I like seeing him for that one. Congratulations, you have bested me, sir. Yeah, yeah. And that means that, Jack, you're still in the running

for having the correct answer here. But unfortunately, no, the wartime tactic where foreign spies boned partners or whatever, that was also the house, also written by Alan. The correct answer was the act of throwing someone or something out of a window. Wow. Wow.

Which I, what a wild word. Is fenestration a type of window? Fenestra is apparently the new Latin word for window or opening. Wow. Interesting. Good Lord. Well, hopefully there'll be a fenestra for me to win the game later on. All right.

So, that means one point for Jack, one point for the house as we go on to question number two. This one comes from Abraham Ifer from Tallinn in Estonia. I think this might be our first Estonian question. The question is, what is Momofuku Ando best known for? That's a person's name. What is Momofuku Ando best known for? So while you're writing those answers down, I'll let the listeners know a bit more about defenestration. So according

to Alan, the word comes from the new Latin D, meaning down from, and fenestra, window or opening. If someone was to jump out of a window, this would be auto-defenestration. The term originates from two incidents in history, both occurring in Prague. In 1419, seven town officials were thrown from the new town hall, precipitating the Hussite War. And then in 1618, two imperial governors and their secretary were tossed from the Prague Castle, sparking the Thirty Years' War. These incidents, particularly that in 1618, were referred to as the Defenestrations of Prague

and gave rise to the term and the concept. Oh, my God. Well, now it's one of my greatest fears to be defenested. So I was watching a show on Netflix this week set in Oktoberfest in the early 1900s and someone auto-defenested it. Were you watching Beer Fest? Were you watching Beer Fest? I wasn't watching Beer Fest, no.

I was watching, I guess it's sort of a gritty reboot of Beer Fest called Oktoberfest Beer and Blood. Whoa, someone had to do it. Someone had to grittily reboot Beer Fest. Beer Fest, what a classic. I'm nervous, Alexei, about our last question is always a movie synopsis and I had to work hard to try and find one I hope that you wouldn't know. Wow.

Because you know- A mighty task. I've seen almost every single film so it is a tough one for you to come up against me, sir. I don't like you calling me guys sir. I just think I have a tremendous amount of respect for you both. It's very respectful but also your tone is very combative as well. It's really hard to figure out where we sit

with you. I love to keep the guys on edge, you know. All right. Looks like your answers are in. Yeah, I'm in. So the question is, what is Momofuku Ando best known for? He, sorry. Forgiven.

Not by me, mate. All right. He was the inventor of instant noodles. He tried to break the record for the world's biggest playable guitar, but a construction mishap led to his death when the nearly completed guitar fell on him. Oh, gosh. That would be one of the greatest nightmares, to be so close to fulfilling your destiny. Yeah.

A mighty swordsman from the Ronin era. They're a performance artist known for attempting to climb everest naked or he revolutionized the world of dog fashion wow five pretty compelling options there uh jack do you want to have first stab here sure i mean the guitar one has captured my imagination that would be i feel like that's so beautiful. I would have heard about it earlier now. Just like the idea of being crushed by your own dream. Surely there will be an Oscar winning film based on that by now.

Yeah. And then, yeah, it ends, the closing credits are played on the world's biggest guitar. Wow. Wow. Jack Black surely will be a masterclass in that performance. but the closing credits are played on the world's biggest guitar wow wow jack black surely will be oh yeah a master class in that performance i wonder if you could get the world's biggest man to play the world's biggest guitar oh who's currently holding that record i did watch a

youtube video about the world's tallest man and he was asked about the time he met uh the world's shortest woman for a guinness world record event and uh they asked him about it and he was asked about the time he met the world's shortest woman for a guinness world record event and uh they asked him about it and he got extremely emotional and he was like it was so wonderful to meet her but i had to tell the all the the like aides and helpers to keep her far away from me because i i couldn't see her down there so low and i thought i'd step on her and crush her oh my god he was like really upset by how he was like it was so good to meet her but i just couldn't stay. I couldn't be anywhere near her.

Wow. That's an account I've never had. No one I've ever met I've been worried about crushing them, Bert. You know? It could be kind of funny. Could that have been Sultan Kusun, a Turkish farmer? Yeah, I think he was Turkish. Yeah.

He's got the- So, I've searched world's biggest man, and you made a good point. You knew him as the world's tallest man. How do I've searched world's biggest man and you made a good point. You knew him as the world's tallest man. How do you become the world's biggest man? Because big can be so many things. Personality, height, width. I'm going for world's biggest personality at the moment is what I'm trying.

I would love like a Miss Universe style pageant for the world's biggest man. There's all different criterias that can... There's one guy who's not that big, but he's out there, he's riffing,ias that can, there's one guy who's not that big, but he's just, he's out there. He's, he's riffing,

he's dancing. He's got so much character. Yeah. And then there's one guy who's like eight foot tall and eight foot wide. And he is filling out a couple of categories there. And he's really trying to work on his charisma to try and get that over the line. Just a cube man.

That's so funny. Mr. Cube. Mr. Cube. Mr. Cube. Well, I can't remember. Have we looked at any answers here? No. No, no.

What's the question? What was the biggest cube? Let's put that there. My answer is biggest Mr. Cube. Momofuku Ando. What's he best known for? Inventor of instant noodles. Died with the big guitar.

Mighty swordsman, nude Everest climber, or dog fashion revolutionary? I'm going dog fashion. That just felt the, don't have an explanation. It just felt the most natural to me. Okay. Right. All right. I actually think dog fashion is the most unnatural. I think it is one of the most, the things that one can do to forsake God is to dress a dog up. So, I will be going for instantaneous noodles. Okay. Instantaneous noodles for Alexi.

Let's go through who wrote the answers. Firstly, the one that caught your attention early about the guitar, that was written by The House. Wow. Congratulations to The House. That's good writing. Friend of the show, Dave. A wonderful writer. Is obsessed with a Wikipedia page

that is inventors who were killed by their own creations. I'm obsessed with that now as well. Yeah, and I think I was – I didn't realise it at the time, but I think I must have been inspired by that idea. Then we had A Mighty Swordsman from the Ronin era. That was written by Alexei. When was the Ronin era era lex don't know i just made that up i just thought of samurais and stuff like that and was like let's just put it in

i don't even think it's an era i think it's just a term for you know samurai well it had it had me i believed it yeah i was trying to think of the most realistic thing one could write down i think you nailed it if anything anything, maybe it was too realistic. Well, not really. It didn't work. Yeah, well, Jack did go for a world dog fashion guy. So it's not all, you know, you never know what they're going to go for. The performance artist known for attempting to climb Mount Everest naked.

That was written by Jack. Wow. That was me. That means. Jack, that would have been my second pick, mate. That means one of you is correct. And it's not Jack. Wow. That was me. That means- Jack, that would have been my second pick, mate. That means one of you is correct. And it's not Jack, the revolutioniser of world dog fashion. That was written by Abraham slash the house. I mean, the correct answer is he was the inventor of instant noodles.

Whoa. Okay. One point to Lex. Congratulations to me. The future victor of this game. All right. So that means one point to Lex, one point to the house. I'm sure you've covered this on your many other podcasts and your podcasting empire, but can you give me one example of an inventor killed by their own invention? Oh, geez.

I feel like the, what's that wheeling machine that you sort of stand on? The car? The automobile? The automobile. Oh, yeah, yeah. Segway? Segway. I think the Segway guy fell off a cliff riding a Segway.

Oh, man. Wow. In many ways, I would put John Lennon on that list because his music did inspire that man to kill him. Oh, that is a good point. And a grim one. That is a very grim. So it's called, the page is called List of Inventors Killed

by Their Own Invention. Oh, the classic one that Dave did a whole do-go on about was this guy who created the parachute suit and he jumped off the Eiffel Tower to prove that it worked and it didn't quite work. Oh, man. It worked for a second or two. Yeah, it worked for a little bit. Just not well enough.

He didn't live to tweak it, though, unfortunately. I was just giggling about the idea that on the page there's the inventor of a Murtatron 10,000. Who would have thought? A Murtatron. No. Who would have thought? A murder truck. No. All right.

Here we are with question number three. This one comes from Alec Ruiz Guerrero from Austin, Texas. And his question is, famous Mexican comedian Roberto Gomez Bolanos was known mainly by a nickname. What does that nickname translate to in English? While you're writing your answers, I'll let the audience know a bit more about Momofuku Ando. According to Abraham, after World War II, Japan was facing food shortages. Momofuku Ando was convinced that noodles could be flash fried to allow for longer storage and easier preparation in the kitchen. After a year of trial and error, he created what we now know as instant ramen. And the rest, as they say, is history. Fun fact, he's also credited with the invention of cup noodles and the global popularization of instant

noodles in general. Wow. Well, finally, a collaboration between the guy that invented the cup and the guy that invented noodles. The world's been waiting patiently. He's known as the father of instant noodles. What a great title. I wonder how his other children feel about that. This is my sibling, all instant noodles. I wish more comedians in Australia had, like like nicknames they won't buy. Yeah.

Yeah. What would you go by if you could? Does it have to be in Spanish? It doesn't have to be. Okay. Maybe the bunyip of comedy. Oh, yeah. Wow.

I like those cryptozoological animals. And I feel like bunyips don't get enough recognition. You know, everyone talks about Bigfoot and whatever. And even in Australia, the Yowie gets more love than the bunyip. Yeah, bunyips, I like them. Well, I think it's a great way to get the bunyip a little bit more. So I think you should change it, mate. It'll be shortener, just bunyip eventually.

And then probably Yippo or something. Yeah, Yippo. Yippopotamus. And I do like really very profound Nanette-style shows. I was like, is he in Yippo's new tearjerker? Yippo just won the Barry? That's it. All right, here's question number three.

Famous Mexican comedian Roberto Gomez Balanos was known mainly by a nickname. What does that nickname translate to in English? Man dressed as a duck. The Mexican rattlesnake. A thousand liters of laughter. Little Shakespeare. Or Senor Cube. Oh, man.

I would love like a big stadium lineup comedy tour of acts named all those things. Yeah. One after the other. The MC's just bringing them on, just killing. 10,000 litres of laughter. Here we go. It's just a regular person, but they're like submerged in a big water tank

that gets wheeled on stage and they perform from the tank. That would be good. The first liquefied comedian wow what were they again we've got man just a thousand liters of okay yeah can you can you read them out as if you're bringing them onto the stage okay sure please welcome is one of my great friends it's man dressed as a duck yes quack quack, sir. One of the best in the business.

He's been touring all around Australia. Please make him welcome. It's the Mexican rattlesnake. Wow. You know him. You love him. You've seen him on the project. It's a thousand liters of laughter.

He is one of our favorites here here at the room we're in. Please welcome him up. It's Little Shakespeare. Oh, I doff my cap at thee. Fast becoming a legend of the scene, this guy is one that all the comedians love to watch. Give us all you got for Senior Cube. Yes.

Cube, cube, cube, cube. Now, does that help you? It helps me emotionally. Great. Yeah, that's awesome. I love that little Shakespeare implies the existence of a comedian named Big Shakespeare. Or maybe he's referring to Big Bill himself.

And he's just a smaller version. Oh, yeah. Big Billy Shakespeare. Do you have a thought here? I'm thinking that Mandrake as a duck seems very much like Jack Drew's humour. I don't know why, but I associate Jack Drew's with bird style humour. And there's something about that. That is clock. I'm clocking Drews.

I'm thinking perhaps Little Shakespeare is the option. Little Shakespeare. Locking that in. Because Mexican rattlesnake. I'm writing that one off because it would be like if I was called the Australian. Like, if you chose your name as the Australian bunyip, it's implied that he's Mexican. Actually, Jack, I think should put that one in maybe. Mexican rattleslesnake yeah no i don't know i'm uh i can't play that kind of dirty game i don't know how to do it uh i'm i'm too in love with um 10 000 liters of laughter

is that the correct amount of liters uh one it's just a thousand liters i think 10 000 liters would be even better yeah yeah that's measuring laughter in liters is so funny to me and if if any of you boys are responsible for that then i don't mind taking the l because i'll i'll give you that if that being the preferred unit of All right, let's go through who wrote the answers. Man Dressed as a Duck. That was written by the house. Wow, Drew Swow. I'm so sorry to call your bird a friend of bird comedy.

You can call me that any time, mate. Yeah, you do have multiple bird bits, though. I know there was a whole bird show, wasn't there, a few years back? Well, I called one show Kitchen Bird, which involved a bird. And then I did my next show. It was called Rat Paradise, but there were birds in the poster for the rat one. So I'm really inconsistent with my animal stuff. Maybe you could change it into Jack Bird or Jack Parrot, perhaps.

Jack Parrot is awesome. Yeah. The Mexican Rattlesnake that was written by Jack very unfunny all my answers so far I feel like there's something in me that wants to I like board games and I just want to play the game and I remember to be a comedian

sometimes that's how you're going to get me out I reckon that's a good balance as well, because Alexei really threw this one by going, Senor Cube. Yeah. Yeah, I just got Mr. Cube stuck in my brain at the moment, unfortunately imagining the 8 foot tall

and 8 foot wide man. I love it. Senor Cube is so good. I like how you've also got the English translation, you've got one Spanish word in it. Wouldn't it be Mr. Cube? But anyway, I love that. Senor Cube.

Fantastic. I just put Senor Cube. I'm so sorry to break the rules of the game. You had to. I'd love to know what cube is in Spanish. I'll find out. Cubos? Cubos.

Senor Cubos. Cuban? Oh, Cuban. Yes. Yeah. Famously a cube-shaped country. All right, so that means one of you is correct here. 1,000 litres of laughter, that was the house, I'm afraid.

So Little Shakespeare is correct. But I appreciate those compliments, Jack. I also was tickled as I was writing litres of laughter. How did your brain come up with it? That's the intro for your festival show. Yes, you got a core of course, show that. 1,000 litres of laughter guaranteed. It's really-

I think it was just a little bit of the alliteration litres of laughter. Wow. And just the idea that there'd be like a translation mix-up, but there's not a direct translation, so it doesn't quite come out right, but it ends up being even better. On behalf of Drewson and I here today, we actually would love to bestow upon you the honour

of being one of the great writers of all time. Yeah, move over, big Shakespeare. There's a new writer on the channel. All right, quick score update after three rounds. We've got Jack on one point, Alexei on two points, but out front it's the house on three points. I'm very uncomfortable out in the lead, you two, so you need a lift here. Okay. Three rounds. We've got Jack on one point, Alexi on two points. But out front, it's the house on three points. I'm very uncomfortable out in the lead, you two.

So you need a lift here. Okay. All right, we're going to bring the house down. Unlike little Shakespeare himself, we shall bring the house down. You can, in any one round, score two points if you get the correct answer and the other person guesses your answer. Wow. I hope to do that next round then. Thank you for reminding me that it's a possibility.

Schools can change very quickly. All right. So question four, this one comes from Emmy White from Albuquerque in New Mexico. Wow. The question is, which of the following is a real headline from the Canadian newspaper Red Deer Advocate? Which of the following is a real headline from the canadian newspaper red deer advocate and while you're writing your answers here's a little more info about roberto gomez balanos according to npr in english chesperito which is what he's known as chesperito roughly

means little shakespeare a fitting name for roberto because the the Mexico City-born artist wrote hundreds of television shows, 20 films, and countless theatre productions during his career. And also because of his stature and size. He cast himself as a- He was eight foot tall and eight foot wide. His real name was Señor Q. He cast himself as a small boy in one of his most famous shows, El Chavo del Oco, or The Kid at Number Eight,

which was about a poor orphan boy who lived in a barrel. It was slapstick funny, not vulgar, because Bolanos said he avoided vulgarity out of respect for his audience. And it resonated with a wide variety of people because of its depictions of family, friends, and even the disparities in Mexico's economic classes. Bolanos also famously played El Chapulin Colorado or the Crimson Grasshopper. Whoa.

A cocky but clumsy superhero. Bolanos and his Crimson Grasshopper character were the inspiration for the Simpsons' Bumblebee Man. Oh, awesome. Oh, my gosh. Matt Groening inspired by real life just like all great artists. That's awesome, that guy. I've got to look into. Yeah.

Little Shakespeare. Yeah. I've got to look into this Mr. Cube guy too. Is there a Mrs. Cube? Only Madame Rhombus, unfortunately. All right. While you're still writing your your answers let's go for a quick break as women our life stages come with unique risk factors like high blood pressure developed during pregnancy which can put us two times more at risk of heart disease or stroke know your risks.

Visit heartandstroke.ca. Okay, your answers are in. So here is question number four. Which of the following is a real headline from the Canadian newspaper Red Deer Advocate? Newspaper industry dying. Please buy this paper. Peak mayor wins in election landslide.

Justin Trudeau dead. Just kidding. He just did something problematic. Man eats underwear to beat breathalyzer. Or calls for truce as owner of loose moose offers no excuse. Wow. Okay. One of these is a headline. Wow.

A red deer advocate. I'm thinking perhaps, is this front page news? I don't know, actually. It could just be anywhere in the paper. Yeah, it's a headline. It could be front page. Wow. I'm trying to think of front page.

What is worthy of the front page? Perhaps, I'm thinking maybe man eating underwear to defeat breathalyzer. Because I can imagine, you know, if you have been sinking a few of those Canadian whiskeys, you would be doing anything you can to beat the breathalyzer and perhaps in a moment of need, you would try munching on your own undies. Okay.

It would be quite difficult to do, but it would be, to me, if I don't drive, so I have never had to have these thoughts before. It's the first time I'm processing this idea in my head. And if I'm in this state, I like, well, I can't eat my shirt because they would know that I've eaten my whole shirt because I would no longer be shirted. But underwear is one of the few items of clothing that would not be revealed that you have eaten it. And I would assume it would have the strongest smell and taste, thus neutralising the breath. And I will be locking that in, unfortunately.

Okay, locking that in for us. And I don't know if I've said this yet, Jack. You can pick the same or go your own way. It's up to you. No, I believe I will go my own way it's up to you no it's i um i believe i will go my own way i'm thinking i'm gonna go with uh was the uh loose moose excuse caboose uh calls for truce as owner of loose moose offers no excuse wow the selection for jack druce okay oh yes um yeah i i feel like that's the kind of thing that newspapers love to do. And I mean, people trying to think of funny answers to questions

also love to do that as well. How are you interpreting the loose there? Is this a morally loose moose or a moose on the loose? That's a good question. I was imagining it was kind of running amok. Yeah. But it could be just, yeah, not a good moose. Sort of not really interested in other people's feelings.

And if this was a news story about a duck, more likely would run amok. But it is about a moose, so it is loose. So happy to lock that in? Yeah, let's do it. All right. Let's go through who wrote the answers. Newspaper industry dying.

Please buy this paper. That was written by the house, in particular, Emmy from Albuquerque. Albuquerque, I think, has got to be one of the best city names. Yeah. Pig mayor wins in election landslide. That was written by Jack. Then we had Justin Trudeau dead. Just kidding. He just did something problematic. That was written by Jack. Then we had Justin Trudeau dead at Just Kidding. He just did something problematic.

That was written by Alexi. Yes. He has done a few crazy things, such as dressing up as racist that he's not. And I like how you've written in a psych in the middle of a newspaper headline. Yeah, it is my style of comedy to do a psych in the middle of something. Calls for truce as owner of loose moose offers no excuse. That was The House, I'm afraid, Jack. Lexi was correct.

It is man eats underwear to beat breathalyzer. Oh, man. Yeah, wild. I can't with my logic paid off for that one. Yeah. Yeah. I know you don't have the information, Matt, but do you read that in a way?

Do you interpret that to mean he did successfully beat the breathalyzer? I do. I'm going to read the article in a sec. Wow. So the next question is question number five, and it comes from Danielle and Adam Osborne from Emsworth in the UK. Yeah, love a collab. Thank you.

Love a collab. To the Osbournes, we wish you thank you. And their question is, which of these is a real species of fungi? Is it? No, fungi. How do you say that? I would say either one. Okay, great.

And I would be incorrect at one of those times. I'm not sure which one. So you're basically just going to make up a species of fungi. And while you're writing your answers, here is the article written by Darcy Rickard of the Red Deer Advocate, Red Deer Alberta in Canada. An 18-year-old Stettler man tried to eat his underwear in the hope that the cotton fabric would absorb alcohol before he took his breathalyzer test, provincial court heard this week. David Zerfler was subsequently

acquitted of a charge of impaired driving because he blew 0.08, which is the legal limit over there apparently. But the testimony broke up people in Judge David McNaughton's provincial court here on Thursday afternoon. Mr. Zerfler was collared by RCMP Constable Bill Robinson after he ran from his vehicle, which had been seen weaving down the highway. While sitting in the back of the patrol car, Mr. Zerflaar tried to eat his shorts, Constable Robinson told the court. Mr. Zerflaar said he ripped the crotch out of his shorts, stuffed the fabric in his mouth, and then spat it out.

A class of law students from William E. Hay Composite High in court as observers were removed by the teacher when testimony enlivened the proceedings. The grade 11 and 12 students had difficulty maintaining composure. People were leaving the courtroom with tears in their eyes, trying not to laugh, said RCMP Constable Peter McFarlane. I would not find this funny if this happened in real life. I would be like, no way, try not to laugh. Just try me, brother.

I don't think this is funny and i think less of you as a man very serious stuff like how um comedians in interviews just say they they just love making people laugh i was like if you were serious about that you'd just commit absurd crimes and then go to trial exactly call me mr tickler It's so funny that he didn't even blow over anyway. I think the guy was looking for an excuse to eat his own undies. Yeah. All right. So your answers are in.

Here's question number five. Which of these is a real species of fungi or fungi? Slippery Jack, cheese cap, little yummy mushrooms, the man, Curian monkey, or the devil's pen pal. They all sound delicious.

Some of them sound a little risky though. So those options again, slippery Jack, cheese cap, little yummy mushrooms, the man, Curian monkey, or The Devil's Pen Pal. Wow.

The Devil's Pen Pal. That's very exciting because to communicate with the devil is one of the more dastardly things a man can do in this world. I'm looking. I'm trying to think because I'm a foodie. I love food. I love to cook it. I love to consume it. And I'm thinking mushrooms, because I'm a foodie. I love food. I love to cook it. I love to consume it.

And I'm thinking mushrooms, little yummy mushrooms, the cheese cap. The cheese cap is quite exciting to me. Cheese cap. I would love to try the cheese cap. And do you cook with mushrooms often? Not really. My partner doesn't eat them, but I freaking love them. I go psycho for those little fungi.

So, we don't have it much in my house. When I go out, I usually will get a mushroom thing because it is my chance to live free from the chains of my partner. And that's really when the cats are away, the mice can play with the little mushrooms. Cheese cap is really enticing me. It sounds fucking fantastic. All right, lock that in.

Lock it, babe. Chuck it in. Lock it. Turn the key. It's my answer. How about you, Jack? So the little yummy mushrooms sounds good, but it also seems to be a problematic name

for if you were buying mushrooms at a market or whatever and they were like, what kind do you want? And you'd be like, oh, Little Yummy Mushrooms. It doesn't narrow it down necessarily because it describes a few types of mushrooms. And it's the interpretation of the vendor as well. They'd be like, well, these ones that aren't moving, I think these are little and yummy.

But you're just trying to get rid of old stock. You know what I mean? Yeah. They'd be like, well, these ones that aren't moving, I call these. I think these are little and yummy. Yeah. But you're just trying to get rid of old stock. You know what I mean? I do buy a brand of onions called Yummions. It's reminding me of that. Yummions. That doesn't quite work, does it? Are there any animals?

They work great in a pizza, brother. I see that. Are there any animals, meat, named to make the meat sound enticing? Maybe duck breast. Yeah, good question. This is a yum. This is like tasty cheese is a bit of a classic. Yeah, and that's a very like weird Aussie thing as well.

Oh, is it really? Yeah, when we moved to Australia, it was like, I remember like my dad had a wacky thing where he was getting a sandwich somewhere and he said cheese and they were like, tasty. And he'd like, I would bloody hope so. Tasty cheese, one of the least tasty types of cheese, I'd say as well.

It's a very bland cheddar. One of the shittest tasty types of cheese, I'd say, as well. It's a very bland cheddar. One of the shittest foods you could eat, I would say. And she's over in America, Canada. They are like Jack Cheese is big over there, right? That sounds familiar. That's what you're named after, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Jack Cheese would actually be a really good name for you if you were still looking to change it

it's between Jack Cheese, Jack Parrot or Mr. Cube I gotta bulk up for Mr. Cube no one's buying me as Mr. Cube right now but yeah what was the

Manchurian Monkey I think I'm gonna go with Manchurian Monkey well Manchurian monkey I think I'm going to go with? Manchurian monkey. Well, Manchurian, it's spelled with a C-H. M-A-N-C-H-U-R-I-A-N. I know the Manchurian candidate is someone who's been brainwashed. Right. And I feel like a brainwashed monkey makes me think, that's a good cheese.

This is a mushroom question. Oh, yeah, sorry. Did I change your answer? We were talking about cheese before, yeah. Yeah. Because it was the cheese cap option. I'll be interested to see if this changes. Well, it's obviously Manchurian monkey.

That could be a cheese, certainly not a mushroom. My brain is being ripped apart thinking about cheese, mushrooms and monkeys at the same time. Wow, a splendid dish you are concocting by accident. same time it's never wow a splendid dish you are concomitant by accident um no uh manchurian monkey type of mushrooms lock it in lock it in all right here's who wrote the answers uh the devil's pen pal that was written by jack that was fantastic work big fan of that yeah i might just recycle it for something else that tickled me. Put it for the next question, I reckon. Then we had Little Yummy Mushrooms.

That was Alexi. Cheese Cap. That was The House. Wow, The House has bested me. In particular, that was the dastardly duo of Danielle and Adam Osborne. The Osborne's, you were rude the day you crossed me. Bested by The Osborne. I have a funny feeling that they might be mushroom people.

Wow. Or, you know, mushroom experts. Wait. Like weird creatures. Oh, come on. I thought they were gnomes, dude. Because, yeah, that just, I don't know, they just seem like they know what they're talking about.

The Mancturian monkey, that was written by me, the house. Oh, man. I didn't know what it meant. I normally try and put one so ridiculous in that people won't guess it and I'm finding they're often the ones that people go for. Yeah. Because that's the same mindset that people submitting the questions have. Yes, that's right.

That would be why. Exactly, yeah. Maybe the correct answer is Slippery Jack and I would like to submit that as another option for your new name. Yeah. Well, okay. What are the options again? S cheese jack cheese and uh mr parrot jack parrot or senor cube mr cube if you are if you yeah i don't mind um this is me being brought onto stage doing stand-up. Welcome to the stage, Slippery Jack Parrot. Oh, yeah.

Combo one. That's good. You can hear people in the audience saying, oh, I've heard this guy's great. And I'm fully greased up in feathers and I slide from the back of the theatre all the way to the stage. I love setting up that much expectation at the start of a show. You have to know work on the material.

How do you follow that for an hour? So good. All right. Well, that means you two now have a little bit of work to do. The score update is Jack at one point, Alexi on three points, and now out in front with a big lead. It's the house on six points. Fuck.

I'm going to kill the house. I'm going to strike it down. This is very uncomfortable territory. Is it statistically impossible for us? There's two more questions, and you can – so you can – either of you could get a maximum of four points from here. So you're kind of out of the running. Yeah.

But I will say, and i think i'm going to make this a permanent thing the last round uh when people are out of touch we do triple points if they want and everyone so far has taken that option because i've been you know why wouldn't you it's weird that i even go it's an option i will forbid jack from choosing the triple points i dream of winning i'm gonna live by the sword, die by the sword. No, no, no. I would love to do the triple points. I would love to become a really high winner. I feel like we might just make it.

If I win or if I lose, to lose to the house and jack honorably. I like that. All right. So here's question number six. And it comes from Kieran Darcy from Birmingham in the UK. Question is, why did the West Bromwich Albion Football Club make news in August of 2018? Why did the West Bromwich Albion Football Club make news in August of 2018? And while you're writing those answers, let me tell you a little more about slippery jacks.

According to Danielle and Adam, the slippery jack, also known as the sticky bun fungus, is an edible fungus found under conifer trees in the UK. Gets its name from the slimy coating it secretes during wet weather. It is recommended to remove its slimy coating before cooking in a soup or stew. Apparently, the slime can give you stomach issues. So if anyone's out there hunting for mushrooms, get rid of the slime. All right, question number six. Why did the West Bromwich Albion Football Club make news in August of 2018? They won the game by trying out a new strategy of building a team of local semi-professional wrestlers. Due to a translation error, the team's star recruit from Italy tried to eat a training cone thinking it was part of a hazing tradition.

After signing a sponsorship deal with a heating company, they unveiled their new mascot, Boiler Man. Their goalkeeper needed to pee during the match and conceded a goal while peeing behind the net. Or they signed a dog to play a striker with the club saying that there was no specific rule against it. Wow. This is one of those ones

where I just would love all of these to have happened. Yeah, definitely. I don't know if either of you want to jump in first here. There were a lot of good ones there. I had a thing and I did a video about this this one time so i don't want to like rehash like i'm doing bits or whatever but the whole like the um airbud style like there's nothing against it in the rules it's like i don't think rule books need to come up with rules against every possible like surreal option that could exist in the universe i don't think it's how

like i think rules are pretty limited to the scope of what one would expect could happen in a game. Yeah. Like if you, like nothing against, you know, firing a gun into the air. You can't write an infinite rule book

of everything that could happen. But yeah, I don't know. I liked, I liked the sound of Boiler Man. Boiler Man. I liked the sound of Boiler Man. Boiler Man. I liked there was a good documentary I watched about the Danbury Trashers, which is a hockey team run by a mafia, run by the son of this mafia guy.

And their mascot was just this ice skating trash can. I thought that was so good. That's awesome. So I like Boilerman. So you lean in that way? I could do with another another read. Rundown if that's okay.

So I'll just go briefly. So we had the they made up their team of semi-professional wrestlers. Sick. The Italian recruit tried to eat a training cone. That's it.

Boilerman was a new mascot. A goalkeeper considered a goal while having a pee behind the net or they signed a dog to play as striker. Wow. Okay. I'm trying to employ my empathy because it's played, it's served me so well in the past with the guy hitting his own underwear. I'm trying to put my head into all of these people.

And I keep relating to the goalkeeper who had to chuck a slash because I've been there, brother. Many times I've had a pee brewing in my body and I've given it an inappropriate, inopportune time to let it go. But sometimes you just got to let it go. So I'm going with the piss guy, the guy who pissed on the field behind the goals or whatever it was. Piss guy for Lex.

Yeah, piss guy. Jack, this is not a submission for your nickname, so I wouldn't put this one to you, sir. You're in the market for a nickname though. Yeah, piss guy, that could suit me. And I do piss almost every day. Almost every day I piss. So it's something I do quite regularly.

Every weekday, right? Every weekday. Weekend, I hold it in. Weekend, that's for you. Yeah, I'm going to go with the- Not Boilerman because I don't- The question was, why did they make news? And I don't know if that would make the news.

So I'm going to go with it. Yeah. I'm going to go with it. Now that you mentioned the piss guy, I might not be. Oh, I know it's, it's like,

it's a, there's quirky stories in the papers. But I don't think it was a, I don't think it was a leading the news bulletin or anything. Okay. Yeah. I only care about headlines. We'll return to what's unfolding in the Ukraine.

But first, we got Piss Guy. And it's a smallish club as well, you know, so making the local news kind of thing. Yeah, I'm going to go with the tricked Italian. Tricked Italian. All right. Tricked out Italian. All right.

Let's go through who wrote the answers. Who wrote? They signed a dog to play a striker. That was written by the house. Anyway, I like your take on it. That is a good point. We shouldn't have to write so many stipulations about every breed of animal that isn't allowed to play on this human sporting team.

Nothing against a pelican. A pelican playing goalkeeper, swung the ball up. You can't do it. Flying all the way to the other side. Not a travel. Didn't touch the ground. They're technically not feet. They're fl flippers so it's not traveling okay we've got to make this movie we gotta do it uh the team full of semi-professional wrestlers

that was written by alexi then we had the translation error leading to the italian player trying to eat a cone that was the house i'm'm afraid, Jack. The goalkeeper needing a pee during the match, conceding a goal. That was written by Jack. So one point there for you, Jack. And Jack, you were so close of incorrect. The answer was after signing a sponsorship deal with a heating company, they unveiled their new mascot, Boilerman. I was locked in on that and then I was just like,

but why would it be in the news? I don't understand the news aspect. I think I might have even put that part into the question, I'm afraid. Right. I think the way Kieran wrote the question was, what strange mascot did Wes Bromwich have? And I wanted to open it up to a bit more creative writing and I read about it in a newspaper article that he linked to.

I see. Yeah. Sorry about the bum about it in a newspaper article that he linked to. I see. Yeah. Sorry about the bum steer there. No, that's okay. Well, Jack, you used my greatest strength against me, my empathy. You figured out my strategies and you used it to turn against me. You, sir, are one of the great players of this game. Thank you very much.

All right. But that does mean going to the final round with triple points, it is still technically anyone's game. So if you get, if Alexi picks yours, Jack, and you get it right, but that does mean going to the final round with triple points, it is still technically anyone's game. So if you get, if Alexi picks yours, Jack, and you get it right, you will win the game. I think even triple points, I'm still out though. If you're on, how many are you on? I'm on now on seven, but you're on two.

So you can get six points and you can jump into the lead. All right. Good Lord. Same for Alexi. So Jack's on two, Alexi on three, the house on seven points. Normally the way it plays out, though, is that the person in the lead ends up winning by more. But, you know, at least the opportunity for anyone to win is there.

Anyone can strike. Anyone can win. Even their dreaded house could still win. And this is the one I'm fearing because I had to go all the way over to Germany. This one comes from Tina from Weisbaden or something like that. Hi, Weisbaden. Guten Tag. And I'm hoping that you haven't seen this one, Lexi.

What was the synopsis of the 2007 German movie, Kaino Heisen, I'll tell you the English name, Rabbit Without Ears. Kaino Heisen. That's tell you the English name. Rabbit Without Ears. Kaino Haußen. That's not right. Wow. It's Rabbit Without Ears. Sorry to German listeners for me butchering that. So what is the movie synopsis for the 2007 German film

Rabbit Without Ears? While your answers are being written, here is some more information about the Boilerman. According to the Telegraph, West Brom's start to life in the EFL Championship may have begun with a defeat to Bolton, but their opening day of the season was not a total disappointment. Saturday's game at the Hawthorne saw the club unveil Boilerman, West Brom's new mascot following their sponsorship deal with Hull-based company Ideal Boilers. West Brom announced the lucrative two-year sponsorship agreement with Ideal Boilers back in May and the company's logo is now the main sponsor on West Brom's match shirts and

training kit. Quite rightly, the new mascot was met with suitable levels of mockery from both away supporters and West Brom's own fans. At the side of the combi boiler with no eyes, dancing its way around the side of the pitch and attempting to participate in some training drills. Good luck to the rest of the sporting world moving forward with their bids to come up with a more superb mascot than Boilerman. Beautiful journalism there, I thought. Honestly, he's not that far off Cube Man, Señor Cube.

I was just laughing at um the the phrasing of ideal boilers like not good boilers or this get just ideal like that's possible yeah i'm in the market for uh something that boils water well this is a boiler that's ideal that's ideal that's what you want so this is what he looks like oh that rules yeah so good and it's the mascot they're against in this match is some sort of bird and i'm taking a boiler over a bird any day of the week well that this is their old mascot oh they're passing the torch yeah they and i think there was backlash what about flappy the bird or whatever the bird symbolically hops in the boiler and is cooked alive

boiler man i thought maybe you might have it might have come up when you were at the project or something. How much do you remember day-to-day stuff? Yeah, that's the kind of thing I would remember. Like I would get obsessed about these weird little stories and then I would forget like major world events. Yeah. This is some Australian showbiz behind the scenes thing uh there was a by the way

it sounds like from people submitting the questions this podcast is banned in australia from i know i noticed very very global audience yeah it's weird because we there's quite a lot of listeners in australia but yeah i don't know just for some reason this week i picked all a lot of aussie cowards not willing to they can watch from the sidelines but not willing to get in the game yeah but oh yeah so with the the project i used to be a writer on the project and there was a story one day about uh someone made like this big beautiful sort of tweed suit for a horse to wear um and that we were trying to get that on the story as like one of the fun quirky like and in other news uh look at this horse wearing a tweed suit isn't this kind of a and then do a little

joke on that um and then something happened in the news and we couldn't get to the horse story and uh it just became for years after that like any time there wasn't a they needed the story to be on the show we would just aggressively pitch a horse was wearing a suit like three years ago. Like we were just not much from that story. It was like, here's the horse. It's wearing a suit. Put this on the show.

It's like, that didn't happen on the day it was news. Like we're not putting it on air. It's good. The horse looks good. The horse is still around, we assume. The horse is looking sharp. Let's put him on TV. And have you had Beck Petratus on this podcast?

No, not yet i've tried to but she is busy well she's rejecting you yeah that's another way to put it well one of her many tattoos is said horse oh wow all right that's great i love that extra context here's the final The final question. Triple points up for grabs. Oh, my gosh. The tension is palpable, is steamy, and it is exciting right now. For the listener and for us as well. What is the synopsis of the 2007 German film Rabbit Without Ears? Here are your five options. Gossip columnist Ludo is sentenced to work at a local daycare centre after an accident. His new boss turns out to be a woman he used to play practical jokes on at school.

She hasn't forgotten and is prepared to use her newfound power to get her own back. At the behest of its ageing patriarch, a prominent Hanover crime family heads on a hunting trip to the woodlands of Lower Saxony. Before the weekend is over, the hunters become the prey. Oh. A big ghost arrives in town and takes over a local petting zoo. A little wolf named Wolfgang learns to accept his horrible howl when he meets Ronald, a rowdy rabbit who was born without ears. Or guardian angels look upon Berlin from up above. A young girl is bullied and neglected but finds solace when Bruno,

her guardian angel, protects her at school when he inhabits the body of her favourite stuffed animal, an earless rabbit. I mean, you've seen a lot of films, Lexi. Jack, I think you're a bit of a film buff too. I've seen no films, not a single one. I hear they're good. I haven't got round to it yet. We are the chalk and cheese of comedy,

and that's why we get along so well, because we feel each other's knowledge. Do you think many of these films could get greenlit? I would say every single film should have the opportunity to be greenlit. Every idea should be made with a million dollar plus budget that anyone has and everyone should get the chance to make at least two or three movies in their lifetime. I think that's a great idea.

I strongly agree with that. Yeah. Yeah, everybody should get the chance to make two or three. You don't have to or are you saying you have to? Sort of like compulsory service? You don't have to, but anyone saying you have to sort of like compulsory you don't have to service anyone can okay i like a total budget of like six or seven million so you could spread that out over three films or you could come into one bigger one if you want when you're born into this world you're given a bank account with seven million dollars

but it can only be used to make a film yeah do you get to keep the profits if it makes any oh absolutely absolutely so you'd be yeah you'd either go with your heart and you make the the art that you want to make or you sort of sell out and go i need the money i want to make and then how crushed would you be when you this sort of popcorn movie you make that you've compromised on ends up bombing anyway yeah a tale is all this time, brother. That's the risk that you make trying to make something in this world. Imagine if Avatar bombed. How would you feel?

Oh, God. I just thought that was nominated for Best Picture, Alexei. Yeah, for Beck Picture. Beck's favourite picture. Is that Out of the Blue? No. Wow. That would be a great title for an Avatar movie. Oh, yeah. Avatar, Out of the Blue? No. Wow. That would be a great title for an Avatar movie.

Oh, yeah. Avatar, Out of the Blue. It does seem like an odd one out. They don't normally go for movies that are so CGI-like, do they? Oh, you know, every movie has CGI in it nowadays. And Avatar already has precedence. The first film was nominated for Best Picture as well. Oh, right.

In the first year that they put the nominees up to 10, from 5 to 10, and it was because they wanted to get more bigger blockbusters nominated because they felt that the Academy was actually being no longer popular. People weren't seeing the films

they wanted represented in there. So sorry to have gone on a tirade here, but you asked me a question about film i had to i had to impart my knowledge and i loved it i was goofing around before when i said i haven't seen any movies i did see uh avatar 2 the way of water and there is a uh crab robot that features really i reckon that's an oscar nom right away oscar people did not even finish the film i think they saw those crab mech robots and were like, they got the Oscar right there. And congratulations to crab mech robot on his best supporting act nomination.

Well earned, sir. All right. So the question is, which of these is the synopsis for the 2007 German film Rabbit Without Ears? Wow. I've seen a lot of German movies, but I've never seen a rabbit without ears. I have never even heard of it. So, Matt, you have done a great job.

Yes. Aye, aye, aye. I'm going to say the one that I feel is, okay, this is tough. This is very tough because I'm actually quite the movie man, and now I'm being tested against my knowledge, and I feel all sorts of out of whack right now. I will, there's tears slowly pouring from my eyes as I go under pressure here. Aye, aye, aye. I am going to go with, Jack, do you have any ideas?

I'm leaning towards option A the gossip columnist Ludo Ludo stuck in my brain for some reason I thought that was a good name I thought the other ones didn't maybe feel as complete in my mind

they could have been written by someone under pressure having to think of the movie immediately say in Germany perhaps yeah they all had the So I'm- They could have been written by someone under pressure having to think of a movie immediately, say in Germany perhaps. Yeah. They all had the feel of a nervous podcaster, you know, where that one had the energy of a steely German filmmaker. Right.

Yes. That is one that I was thinking too. The name Ludo has just been stuck in my head as well. Yeah. Yeah, that's right. You've listened to this podcast before, right, Lex? I have. I have listened to this podcast before, right, Lex? I have. I have listened to this podcast before.

Let it be known it's one of my favourite podcasts. I think it's very funny and you're a great host. Oh, that's very nice. And that should be taken into account when my score is at enough at the end. Because we've done a bunch of movies before. Do you normally know the movie in the last episode? I would say eight or nine times out of ten. I have listened to probably every episode.

I've known almost all the movies. Yeah, I thought you might because they're obscure for your average person, but not for a movie buff. I'm an above average person. Yeah, you certainly are. Especially when it comes to the BMA, the body mass index. Are you going the same way? Are you locking in Ludo as well?

Is it unwise for me to lock in the same answer as Juice? Well, I think it means that you will finish above him. Yeah, your score is ahead of mine, so you take me out of competition there. It would be quite wise if I were to do that then. Aye, aye, aye. Well, it's the one I think is right, but there's no reward without risk. So I will probably lock in. People do this all the time and the switch never pays off.

But what do you got? There is no reward without risk. But let me tell you this. I'm a man who does not need reward and I hate risk. I'm going for Ludo. Oh, you're going for Ludo? Okay. Can I change mine then?

Because I know statistically, even if it is Ludo, I still lose. I mean, there's nothing in the rule books that says. Absolutely. Can I let this pig pick for me? Fucking hell. All right. Fucking hell, Drew. I'm going to the guardian angel one. All right. Fucking hell, Drew. I'm going to do a guardian angel one.

All right. Look in the guardian angel. All right. Well, let's go through who wrote the answers. The behest of the aging patriarch of the crime family from Hanover becomes the prey. That was written by The House. Wow, The House.

Great work using the word behest, I must say. It just flowed out of me. I was ag the house great work using the word behest i must say it just flew i was like when i heard the word behest was that was that like uh that's someone trying too hard is that a like a real red flag when you i've read probably 20 000 film synopses in my life i've never seen the word behest written in there uh well that was written by me and tina that was a collab there. Great work, Tina. Tina. Who wrote Behest? Who wrote Behest?

I think that was mine, I'm afraid. Congratulations. So, Tina, maybe you had something that was guessable and then I came in and made it to you. At the behest of your own concerns. Tina also wrote, and I didn't, I don't think I toyed with this one at all, the one about the little wolf named Wolfgang

learning to accept his horrible howl. I'm picturing that that's a kid's movie, like an animation maybe. Well, even though that one is more plausible, I didn't pick it because I felt like I would know most German animated movies because they would likely be up for Oscars. They always have like one international movie in the best animated film category. And I was like, this one I would know about. Hey, remember Harvey Crumpet?

God, Harvey Crumpet was one of the most iconic moments in Australian history when that was nominated for best short film. It's so funny. Like, I'm not a cinephile by any stretch. And I knew all about Harvey Crumpet. Harvey Crumpet was a sensation in this land. That movie maker, he was a household name for a bit there. For a moment.

Now, even I don't know his name, but his follow-up film, his feature, Mary and Max, is a masterpiece. Oh, watch that and enjoy it. I really love it. Great movie. I've got to look up his name quickly. His name is Harvewald Kompras. Adam Elliot.

Oh, Adam Elliot. Adam Elliot, what a guy. I was going to say Elliot Goblet. Elliot Goblet. Yeah, it was a collab. adam elliott oh adam elliott adam elliott what a guy i was gonna say elliott goblets elliott goblets yeah it was the collab uh where where are we up to being uh distracted here sorry so uh then we had a big ghost arrives in town and takes over local petting zoo that was jack and fuck i found that very funny great work i love the idea of the size of a ghost being huge yeah i thought if I added a detail, it would make it sound more like a synopsis.

But then once you started reading the other ones, I was like, oh, film synopsis is more than just one stupid line. Stuff happens in a film synopsis. Well, I'm glad you said that. If you said a ghost that is eight foot tall and eight foot wide,

then I might have been more tempted. Oh, that was great. Guardian angels look upon Berlin from up above. That's one Jack selected. That was Alexi. So Look Upon Berlin from up above. That's one Jack selected. That was Alexi. So three points there to Alexi. Gave you an extra point.

And Alexi also got the question right. It was Gossip Columnist Ludo. Oh, man. Sentenced to work at a local daycare centre after an accident. So that's six points to Alexi. Couldn't have worked out better for me to force Jack out of the correct answer into mine. As I said, live and die by the sword.

Don't mind. And I was the one who lived by it. Congratulations to me. One of the great successes of the game. Of the seven questions, Jack, you picked the right one twice and changed. That's true. So, yeah.

You have to go for your gut instinct, Jack. I always have said that to you. Well, I only- That was good tactics in that last one. The second one was, yeah, that was a statistical one. I don't think I was- I think I still made- I made the right decision by changing.

Because if I hadn't changed, I still would have lost. Yeah, that's right. And I would have won. I feel something. I appreciate it because you meant that I didn't have to- It always feels gross when the house wins. I invite you onto a podcast and they go, anyway, I won. Goodbye.

All right, so we'll do a score update in a second. But before that, let me tell you a little bit about the film. Apparently it was co-written, produced, directed by, and starring a guy called Till Schweiger. Are you familiar with his name? Oh, he's from Inglourious Basterds. That's right. He's in Inglourious Basterds and he's in the movie SLC Punk,

which I watched like three days ago. Oh, wow. There you go. And, yeah, I think he's a big name in Germany. This was like a surprise hit over there. But, yeah, it's a romantic comedy. I think it sort it was commercially successful, but sort of mixed in the reviews,

but it did win a couple of awards as well. As well as Inglourious Basterds, he was also in Muppets Most Wanted and Deuce Bigelow, European Gigolo. Of course, I watched that movie very recently. How often do you watch Bruce? What's the name of the movie? Deuce Bigelow.

Deuce Bigelow. It probably was the first time I'd seen it in maybe 16 years because I saw it when it was originally released on DVD and I thought this is one of the funniest things I've ever seen. And then recently I needed to watch something that would not put my mind in any kind of place and I decided Deuce Bigelow would be my answer. And I did watch Deuce Bigelow, European Gigolo,

during the making of Finding Jesus in my downtime. My limited downtime, I chose to watch that movie by myself. And is this, did you know this? I only noticed this yesterday when I was writing this up, that it was directed by Mike Bigelow. Deuce Bigelow was directed by Mike Bigelow. Wow. Wow. Perhaps a ghost director Bigelow. Wow. Wow.

Perhaps a ghost director of some kind. Yeah. Directed by an in-character brother of the lead. Yeah. Is that possible that someone's like, I don't want to take credit for this. What's that old thing that people used to say? There was like a non-diplom for directors who didn't want to take credit.

Isn't there like a- Alan Smithy. Yeah. Alan Smithy. Yeah, yeah. Alan Smithy. I'm looking at a review for Rabbit Without Ears right now on Letterboxd. The top review is from a woman called Vicky. One of the drawbacks of being German is that you're surrounded by movies starring Till Schweiger because people here actually seem to think it would be a good idea to cast him

for the role of a stereotype guy with a ridiculously annoying Mickey Mouse voice in a stereotype and unoriginal story which we've seen in one form or another hundreds of times before. Not enough that the story itself is boring, conventional, though trying to be original and breaking with conventions, German filmmakers unerringly

understand how to make it even worse by adding a Till Schweiger. Fucking hell, man. Cut that, Till. Pretty good endorsement for Germany, though. If that's the worst thing about being German is that there are movies starring Till Schweiger.

That sounds like paradise. That's the worst part. Hard cut to you living there after six months, packing your bag. I can't take any more till. Till? Worse than I thought. All right. So the final score check is this.

On two points, we had Jack. What up, Jack? Not that well done. Let's be honest. And Jack, people can watch your comedy special right now. Yeah, right now. It's on YouTube. it's called rat paradise and uh my channel is just search jack drews it'll be there as well and uh i got other stuff on my

channel i got sketches i got a i got a sketch about um how rule books don't need to have every possible outcome in them airboat style check that out um but yeah if you want to that would be my big plug for today and you're also um for locals you're are you touring a new show just at melbourne oh yeah no i'm not touring anything but if you live in melbourne and i will be doing a show at the melbourne comedy festival called dreamboat uh you can buy a ticket for that at the comedy festival website just search jack druce again oh man jack those sketches've been putting up are so freaking funny, man. Thanks, man. That's very nice of you to say.

It's a lot of fun doing them. A lot more fun than stand-up, to be honest. Whoa. Stand-up's great. Stand-up's great, but it's only, like, great while you're doing it. The sketches, it's, like, it's fun filming it. It's fun editing it. You know, the whole thing.

It's a great day. Stand-up, you are on blast. Get your act together, stand-up, and, yeah, maybe one day you'll be funny as sketch. Then we had The House on seven points, but out in front on nine points, swooping into the lead, it's Alexei Taliopoulos. I actually felt pride when you said my name that loud and strangely.

I felt really a lot of pride in that announcement. and strangely. I felt really a lot of pride in that announcement. It did feel like victory to me at that exact moment. That is the prize. You get your name said strangely and loud. Lex, people can still see your smash hit YouTube series, I believe. Yes, you are still allowed to watch Finding Yeezus. Sure, the early buzz is over, but why don't you try and get it into your system now? Finding Yeezus is an investigative documentary series where Cameron James and I solve one of the internet's greatest unsolved mysteries.

So it's no longer an unsolved mystery. We did solve it. We are heroes. We are geniuses. And it follows on from a couple of great podcast series of a similar nature, Finding Drago and Finding Forrester. No. No, I knew that was wrong as soon as I started saying it.

That is a movie starring Sean Connery where he says, you're the dog now, man. Wait, isn't the other way around? You're the man now, dog. Excuse now dog excuse me yeah well that's my version he does say that in fighting desperado uh all right and uh yeah thank you so much for joining us i should say people can also see me at the melbourne comedy festival coming up and the adelaide fringe my show dingShookComedy.com has details and like Jack, I've got an hour of comedy

up online and you can find that. I'll put a link to both of them in the show notes if I remember. Alright, well thanks for joining us you two. Anything else you need to tell people before we go? No, no, not at all. That was fun. Thank you for having me on. No worries. Hopefully you can come back sometime

soon. Just to pass my regards on to Senior Cube and his family. Oh yes, yes at all. That was fun. Thank you for having me on. No worries. Hopefully you can come back sometime soon. I'd love to. Just to pass my regards on to Senior Cube and his family. Oh, yes, yes, yes. I should also say we're doing a live Who Knew It? this podcast on the 9th of April in Melbourne, Easter Sunday, 2 p.m. in the Arvo, and you can get tickets now. There should be a link in the show notes there too. Thanks so much for joining us.

If it becomes a fan favorite, I'm willing to appear as a slippery Jack parrot. If that's a, if the fans demand it. Well, obviously tweet, tweet us, tag Jack in.

You're on Twitter. Yeah. So yeah, tag us in and. And tag me, tag me as well guys. Don't leave me out. It's just nice getting a notification.

What kind of, what kind of barrier are we leaving here? Three tweets? Ten tweets. I think it's... 100 tweets? 100 tweets. 100 tweets.

Yeah. And then it will be legally changed. So we need 100 of you to... A judge will be ruling over the matter on 100 tweets. I'm already regretting this in a big, big way. So, yeah, thanks so much for listening. Tell your friends if you think they might enjoy it. Give us a five-star review if you have the chance.

And you do have the chance, I should say. Please take that chance. Please. Cheers for tuning in to Who Knew With Matt Stewart. And now that you know it, I've been Matt Stewart. Goodbye. in to Who Knew With Matt Stewart and now that you know it I've been Matt Stewart goodbye