Who Knew It with Matt Stewart - 211 - David Astle, Ben Russell and Raewyn Pickering

Episode Date: September 28, 2026

Who Knew It with Matt Stewart is a comedy game show podcast hosted by Australian comedian Matt Stewart. This episode features guests David Astle, Ben Russell and Raewyn Pickering!Support the show via http://patreon.com/dogoonpod and you can submit questions!Check out Matt's new stand up special 'Bad Boy': https://youtu.be/uwco3wBOFSA?si=NL524pxlJGiQsATtGive your feedback in this listener survey: https://forms.gle/WC7bKDCwgXmSQD1QAAnd his previous specials 'Best Man': https://youtu.be/ZgukEPerWZc?si=SW8PttGAB-ly_GF8And 'Live at Stupid Old Studios': https://youtu.be/cWStRpI-BhESee the podcast/Matt live: https://www.mattstewartcomedy.com/Check out Matt's podcast network: https://dogoonpod.com/Theme song by Evan Munro-Smith, Logo by Murray Summerville and edited by Connor Schmidt! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This is a message for people in Brisbane and Bendigo in the year 2026. In the next couple of weeks, I'm coming to town with my good friends, Serenjo, I'mana. We're in Brisbane on the 1st of October, Thursday the 1st. And then we're at the Bendigo Comedy Festival in Bendigo, Victoria, on the 14th of October. That's a Wednesday. Ooh, hump day.

Let's have a bit of fun day more like it. And there's also a live, Who knew, with Matt Stewart in Brisbane, too, with a good chat comedy club on the 3rd of October. So come see us on the 1st and the 3rd of October in Brisbane and the 14th of October in Bendigo. Cannot wait. Welcome to Who New with Matt Stewart, the show where the guests write the wrong answers.

I'm the titular Matt Stewart. Our first guest is host of evenings on ABC Radio Melbourne. You might also know I'm from Dictionary Corner or writing the notorious Don't Attempt Cryptic Crosswords. It's David Astell. Gude. How are you, man? Is that right?

It's Don't attempt. It's your initials. Yeah. And then people have extrapolates. extrapolated. Probably one of the more polite tangents I've heard of those initials. There are some fairly, I mean, you couldn't even print them in a Sunday school brochure. Okay. Yeah, they were fairly

offensive, but, you know, I guess it's a form of passion and either way if you're provoking some kind of raw emotion, even if it's anger, even if it's contempt, you've got to, you've got to cherish that. Yeah, I think so. You still do it, knows it's probably. It's still cracking them out. It's a Friday. I'm a Friday guy, yeah.

Yeah. But you said you were just telling me Friday's your day off, but you just don't have a day off. Friday's my radio day off. So this is why I'm really thrilled to be here. Can I pick that up from the tone. Our second guest this week is Australia's premier farm-based comedian, as she always says, Farmy is funny. That's right, I'm Pickering.

Hello, thank you. Happy to be here. Yeah. Have you ever attempted a David Astell cryptic? No. Yeah. Well, that's, I mean, that's what they say not to do. Yeah.

Or to do. Not to do. Attempted. Our third guest this week hosts the weekly Something Good Improv Comedy Show, Comedy Republic in Melbourne. It's the hottest ticket in town. He's also the podcast Resident Vill and it's Ben Russell. Thank you so much.

Unfortunately, after having you on the show of something good, we stopped doing it weekly. Oh, do you? Yeah, yeah. We were just like, we don't want it. Afterwards, we got together and we were like, well, we don't want to do this weekly. Well, I mean, I like to interpret that as you think it peaked. And you can't keep up that quality week anymore.

And you can interpret it. Great. Well, I will. If that would help. It would. I mean, that's not. Your interpretation is not the correct. But it is an interpretation.

So what is it monthly now? Fortnelly. It's whenever we feel like it. Oh, no. It really, I blew it up. Yeah, he did. Like literally that week? No.

Okay. But that was when the seed was planted. Yeah, that's when we were like, let's wine this. I'm starting to not enjoy this. No, it's such a shame. We've been telling everyone what a fun time it was. Sorry, man. Not for anyone else in the room, apparently.

No, no, it was hell. It was absolute hell. Yeah. One of the worst experiences of my long improv career. And I've had some terrible experiences. Yeah, I bet you would have. It's notoriously a bad time improv. Yeah, but this was the worst.

Yeah, okay. Was it just because of the drawn-out silences? Yeah, it was just... It's really hard to think of things in the moment. Is it? What are we doing here then? All of his choices, he would just stare at you blankly. Yeah.

And then... Everything was Amish. I was like, so I'm Amish. Yeah. And I'm out of the same. Yeah. Anyway, so I'm Amish. Oh, I'm not allowed to use a computer.

And the audience just hated it. You refuse to say. Like your sunglasses as well? Yeah. Yeah. I said they're my army sunglasses. You come from the improv school of, yeah, no, but. Yeah, exactly.

Wait, wait. Hang on. I've never seen an audience just immediately just make their minds up about someone. Yeah, they hated me right off from that. It's like they came to hate you. Yeah. I actually saw like half the room folded their arms instantly. Yeah.

Not for me. Body language said not for me. Thank you. It's just like a collective. I think, ugh. Fuck. David, you can see why Ben got the title of podcast villain. I'm not, though.

I'm actually one of the good ones. He's actually been very kind for what happened that night. I think I've actually been quite gracious. All right. Well, the way this show works is I asker. A lot of punching down. Yeah. Yeah.

That's what he's known for. Yeah, he does know. But I thought it was okay because I was at playing an Amish character. that was kind of character all of them women, children, ginger's you know.

Yeah, well that's punching a cross for me. So the way this show works is ask a relatively obscure trivia question and our contestants have to write

a convincing fake answer and then read their answers well as they're all and I have to guess which one is correct. We always sell the word question this is trickier when you've got a guess who knows nearly all the words

so I had to go further a field. You know all the English words. Okay. So what do we get? Some weird Japanese bit of idiom. We're going to Ireland. Ireland. This question comes from Ariane from Ireland. I'm walking here.

You are the best. Well, I'm on a horse because I'm Amish. That's sort of, yeah. I'm getting PTSD already. I want to shut this down. This is the last episode. Yeah. Is it Ariane's question.

is what does the Irish word Bohortiukt mean Bohortiacht mean Could I get a spelling? You can B-O-T-H-A with a accent, N-T-A-I with an accent No, I don't even worry about it.

O-C-H-T. Whoa. But the phonetic spelling that I looked up with something like... It may as well be Welsh with how little sense it makes. Yeah, well, it's a different language. Hey, come on.

What? That's my name. Welsh makes no sense. Wow. Your name... Makes no sense. Is that right? Bohortiacht.

Behortiacht. Behortiacht. Something like that. Something close to that. Anyway, what does it mean? Yes, that's the question. While they're writing their answers, here's how the scoring works.

If you're needed to the show, you get one point if your fake answer is guessed by the other contestant. Another point, if you correctly guess the answer, and by the way, I'm also playing as the house. I've put in two of my own fake answers for each question with the help of the question writer, and we get a point for each one of those that I guess choose. So each of us can score up to three points per round

But apparently the house is favoured A mathematician told me that once And I believe them to this day So to give you the guests help They get triple points in the final round While the house cannot And most of our questions come from our great Patreon supporters If you want to submit a question

Sign up on any level via Patreon.com slash 2go on pod Linked in the show notes If you have sent in a question in the past And it hasn't come up Feel free to damn me there on Patreon All right, the answer is in for question number one. What does the Irish word bohotiuk mean? The last horse standing on the battlefield.

It's option one. Grassy mounds in a glen similar in appearance to moguls found in snowfields. Option two, option three. A west of Ireland tradition in which a groom must jump over a donkey prior to his wedding. Option four, the act of visiting your friends or neighbours' house for the purpose of gossiping. a cloth used as a strainer or describes a person who comes back from a holiday completely sunburnt. That's unlikely in Ireland, but maybe if they've been away. Yeah, yeah.

A holiday abroad. All right, David, what do you reckon? Anywhere else. They're very good and there's some sweet temptations there, but I'm not going to be fooled. I'm going for the gossip session because I'm going to be going. That sounds very Irish to me. I'd all credit it to the person who's fabricated that. Locked in.

Raven, what do you reckon? What was the hills one? Grassy mounds in a glen, similar in appearance, the moguls found in snowfields. Yeah, okay, that one. It just sounds like, sounds Irish. Yeah. It does sound Irish.

I like the horse one as well. I think that's kind of fun. Very evocative, you know? I wonder how often that's happening, though. Maybe often enough. used like a might be used you know as a saying like a last man standing

yeah but similar to David I can hear an Irish person really say that like oh she came around for a beharty act that's hard to take come around I'll have for a beharty act or have it gossip

yeah if it's not the meaning it should be the meaning and that should be a session that we all observe so I can enshrine in our own culture we can learn a lot from the Irish yes one more there was one more Sunburn Cloth strainer

jumping over a donkey before your wedding grassy mounds Grassy mounds Horse gossip That's the lot Okay now I'll just go gossip Yeah I'm gonna go gossip as well

No offence David That's okay Well that clearly you didn't write It'd been so I'm relieved Yeah No offence All right here's we wrote the answers The Sunburnt traveller

That was Ariane The question writer and she also wrote the jumping over a donkey thing. I like the specificity of West of Island. I assume that's Ariane throwing shade on a different area. Take that. Take that, you Westy, fucks. That's what they call the Aryan Islands.

Oh, yeah, come on. Come on. Clothies as a strain. That was David. Yeah, you bastards. No one attempted to pick that. I know. Don't attempt.

Do attempt a bit later in the game. game, will you? The last horse standing in the battlefield, that was Raywin. Yeah, thank you. You're a compliment. Thank you. Farmy is funny. It is.

You have a duck to tail? Yeah. Yeah, sick. I didn't have it. You do lean towards, you know, horses and livestock-based dancers, don't you? Raywin went for the grassy mounds in a glen. That was Ben. Very evocative.

Thank you. And that means Ben and David. are correct. It is the act of visiting your friends' house for the purpose of gossiping. Yeah, it's a great custom. Wow. So good. What do we have here in Australia? I guess a Barbie or a, you know, what's our gossip gin-wag? Yeah. We don't have watercours anymore. So. Yeah, what? Yeah. Shit talking. Oh, we spill the tea. That's with the cup of reference, I guess. Spilling the tea is American, though, I feel. No, no, it's not. It's, it's polaria. Oh, no, you're right. It is queer culture. Spill the tea. Queer culture, kind of dance culture.

It's a great phrase, though, I know. I feel like it's been. It's, you know, what sort of happened, you generally happens, it was taken from African-American. Yeah, it was. Black people. You know what I mean. Yeah. It's like it does feel like that process of, like, trickle-down,

not trickle-down economics. What's the word, language word? Linguistics. It's why you use it. I mean, you can't use this too because I ruined it. But it is the way most of like the popular speech comes through, is through a black culture. Right.

Yeah. Like American black culture in particular? Yeah. Yeah, right, there you go. Maybe not the Hortic Act, though. Yes. Well, no, that's not, yeah. That's not, but that wouldn't sort of gone the long way around.

I don't think it's gone mainstream. Not yet. Not yet, yeah. Question two comes from Emily Orbury from Lobothal in South Australia. And the second question is normally a species type. You're just going to create a new species. All right. In this case, Emily wants you to give us a common name of the fish species

is plectorinichus gibbisus. It doesn't really matter. Just it's the name of a fish. Okay. Just come up with, don't have to describe it or anything, just the name. Okay.

So the common name. Common name. Yeah, so I understand. Yeah, well, I'm actually quite familiar with this species. Oh, no.

No, no. Can't get anything past you. Okay. While you're writing your answers, here's some more info on Bahornioct. Mental force. Bohortiact. Bohortiact.

Bhorti act. Isn't that what you said? Well, not about moments ago. I wrote down three different phonetic spellings from three different sources and they're all slightly different. Yeah, beautiful. So that's not me changing the pronunciation.

That's the internet. It's me being consistent with the internet. You're consistent with the inconsistencies. Yeah, hoping that one of them I'll land on is correct. Yeah, you miss a hundred percent of the shots you don't take. Delete the email that's started right. Yeah. So, yeah, mental floss rots.

It's an Irish word. without an exact English equivalent. It's the practice of calling on all your neighbours just to catch up on all the gossip. Ariane adds, I've been relearning Irish as an adult and coming across new words like this. It is a delight.

Well, you're a delight, Ariane. Oh, yeah. So you get the feeling that there's just so many fish being discovered all the time. Yeah. That they are on, there's a guy stressing out going, I don't know. Grab her, but the...

Yeah. The belt's coming and they're coming more and more fish. So panicking. Finnman. Chimpanzee fish. Yes. Exactly. There you go.

Chimp fish. And I already three have gone by. Yeah. Oh, that one's a blue chimp fish. I'd say there's too many fish. That sounds like a video game. Because there is the blobfish, isn't it? It was fair.

Yeah. The kind of deep ocean. That's just a cry for help. Yeah. Yes. Lobby's got eyes of the blobfish. disgusting. Yeah.

But also apparently, and we got called out for this on a previous episode, the under pressure, deep sea pressure, they look very magnificent. It's only when they come up to our level. There's nothing holding them together. Honestly, there's a real lesson in that for all of us. It's like a human body doesn't look that good when it's bloated after being in the deep ocean for, anyway. The deeper that you go, it's the opposite. You'd get crushed.

A more supple. Oh, no. No, you get crushed. Yeah, all right, yeah. Like Stockton Rush. Yeah, he played for the Utah Jazz. All right, question two. What is the common name of the fish species,

Plectorinches, gibbous, gibbous, doesn't matter. It doesn't. Here are your options. The red death catcher. Whoa. Grabler. Hey. Silver hunchback.

Oh. Flagrant fowler. Blubberlips or big wet grunter All right Raywin What do you reckon Um Look it could be any of them None of them sound real

Yeah Can I just hear them one more time Sure Red Death Catcher Grabbler Silver hunchback Grabbler? Grabbler

Grabbler Grabler yeah Grabbler Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah

Like he's just a couple hands Yeah It's like a discontinued McDonald's character Silver hunchback Flagrin Fowler Blubber Lips Big Wet Grunter I love like

Flagrant Fowler I reckon That's a nice one I think that one's too Roldahl For me He might have named a fish or two It's too

Roldahl It might have been in honour of him To Paul Jennings. Right. It's too... That's unreal. It's too Hogwarts. Oh, okay.

Yeah, that feels like something that... Are you putting Paul Jennings in with J.K. Rowling? Yeah, that's not fair. Yeah. That's not fair on Paul Jennings. Wow. Wow. It really is.

It could be any of them. It really could. It's just a roll of the dice. It is. It's a real time. That's fun. Yeah. I'm basically trying to work out what did Ben and Raywin write.

That's the game I'm playing here. Right. To eliminate the end. I guess that's the spirit of the game, right? Well, yeah. Actually, if I'm thinking that, I reckon David did the flagrant. Okay. So maybe I shouldn't have done that one.

It stinks of David. It's too clever. I do like an elituration too, Rowan. He is a known illiterate. Okay. Double-blossing. Known illiterate. Um, what's, I'm going to go silver hunchback because I like that one.

Yeah. And that's what we're going for. You know, that's the best we can do. So if you did it and you get the points, you know, take it as a compliment. Yeah. Take it as a compliment. I'm giving you a compliment. I think that's good.

I think that's what they would do. Yeah. They're not offended. I hope it's you guys. Actually, David, this is. What would I be offended if you chose mine? See, David, this is in my counter to your strategy. Yeah.

You actually want to pick someone else. else's so that it doesn't go to the house. It's so true. Yeah. It's such a life. The worst case scenario is that it goes to the house. Can I add one more fish possibility? It's the double bluffer.

Oh, because I'm so stuffed up in this kind of ball of mazes at the moment. Because despite the fact that it does sound like mine, it wasn't mine. So I'm going to say the flagrant fella. That makes me for more. I like that. I like silver hunchback because it feels like a,

like, feels like a fisherman. Oh, I've got a hunchy. I got a hunchy on the Lord. What color is it? It's a silver hunchy. He's got a silver hunchie. He's got a silver hunchie ever out? I'm checking you see out.

Remember that silver hunchy I caught on the wolf? That was a 10-pounder. It's huge. Couldn't believe it. All right. Here's the right. The red death catcher. That was Raywin.

Aywin. It wasn't even discussed. No, I was very close to going. It was. It sounded actually a big Hogwarts. Yeah. I know. I know.

I know. It was too. But it also sounds like Red Dead, which is a game you like. Are you? Yeah, it's a great game. Wonderful game. Not a good fish. Not a great fish.

But it probably, you know, I don't want to judge it because it doesn't exist. And I only judge things. Yeah. The big wet grunter, that was Emily, okay the house. The grabler. That was Ben Russell. I actually would have guessed that. The reason I didn't go for the grabler, it sounded like an auto-correct.

I thought someone's trying to write Grappler No, come out Grappler No, I meant to write Grappler And I wrote Grabler Okay, all right So I would like a written apology I was written on a read out on ABC radio Sorry Ben for my

Grappler's shade What's, when do you knock off You know what at the last possible man Yeah, that's right No, I'd squeeze it just before the news Where no one's listed I will be and went for the silver hunchback

That was David Great Thank you Is that what they call you That's very unfair Because I look a lot more handsome When I'm in my own environment But I've been dragged out to

And I'm just bloated My hair's gone grey You've just told the bell It's not the right pressure for you Honestly I really am surprised with the blobfish You're out of now Too far from that pain

It's blubber lips It's blubber lips Well, we haven't, Flagrant Fowler, which Raywin and David went for, I'm afraid that was the house. It is Blubble lips, correct. See, that was my next guess.

Blubber lips. Yeah, because it's so dumb. Yeah, right. Blubber lips. Yeah. It's a lot of fun. They say it. Yeah.

Their name, you're not going to believe this, from their big old lips. That's crazy. I would have never believed that. It all makes sense now. So, oh, the house gets. a couple of points there. Even though Ben gave you advice

of not going for the house and answer both David and anyone went for the house. Yep. And I gave you points and you didn't. I appreciate it. Thank you.

So after two rounds Rowan had to score but David Ben and the house all on two points apiece. Okay, come on Rowan. Question. Just leave the horses. Leave the horses alone.

This is not a lot than I expected. If you were an animal on your farm, you'd be concerned. I think I'm going to have to put. I don't have to put that. Too soon.

Someone gets a sheet. They're not performing. Raywin's not going to make it. Come on. Yeah, no, let's get a little goat to hang out with Ray. And maybe a goat can cheer up. The rest of the herd have rejected it. Let me find.

Question three comes from Jane from North Fitzroy here in Melbourne. And the question is, what is the, is this kind of like the human version of the last question? You've got to come with the name of a human. Okay. the name of the cornerback, which is a American football position, who signed with the Miami Dolphins in April of 2024.

It's just a guy's name. But a guy's name that's interesting enough that Jane from North Fitzroy went, I've got to send this into the podcast. You're not going to believe it. While you're writing your answers, here's some more info about blubberlips. Corner, what's that fish? A great website I just found.

They are found singly or in small schools. during the day close to caves and ledges, foraging for food at night over protected inshore reefs and deep offshore reefs. Juveniles found singly mimicking a dead leaf by drifting on the sides.

On their sides. Sorry, Connor. It's just written so strangely. I probably should have pre-read it, but what's that fish? It writes it in a very beat poetry kind of way. Yeah, no, you've got to get into the beat. Juveniles found signally mimicking a dead leaf

By drifting on their sides Along sheltered sandy shorelines And Emily adds They eat frogs That's crazy That is crazy All right the answers are in for question number three What is the name of the cornerback

Who signed with the Miami Dolphins in 2024 Here are your options Tad Faster Man Ed Flanders Ed Flanders? First name, last name. Storm duck. Oh, that's their name?

First name last name? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I pray so. All right. Someone didn't put effort into that one. Storm duck. It could have been last name's parents. Yeah.

Storm duck, Pierre Boudoir or Sturgis Cleavage. Oh. All right, bam. Pierre Boudoir. Sturgis cleavage is good. Yeah, you've all done fantastic work, including the parents of this football. I'm trying to, okay, this is what I'm imagining. I'm imagining because when you watch sometimes, they used to do it anyway.

I don't know if they still do it because I haven't watched NFL in a while, but. Were they announced themselves? They still do that. The D-line for the Miami Dolphins. Sturge's cleavage, Sturgeon cleavage, Penn State. They still do it, yeah. That's what I'm imagining. So good.

So is that. I'm going to go Sturgis cleavage. Sturgis locked in. Because that's a, you've done, again, it could be any of these. So I'm going to reward the one that I think has done the best work. It's like Sturge is a great first name. It really brings it home with sleep. Sturgis cleavage, Penn State.

I try to give him a really strong first name. It's that pen and, uh, pen and, uh, uh, yeah. See my brain. Not Pennantella. Not Pennantello. Uh, the guys at Dave Chappelle. they'd ripped him off. Key and Peel.

Key and Peel. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, they did a great version. So good. David, what do you reckon? These are so good. Could I hear them, sorry.

Yeah, there's Storm Duck in there. Yeah. Yeah. Storm duck could be real. Oh, hang on. I'll give him. Sturgis cleavage. Give them to you in a reverse order.

Yeah, okay. Sturgis cleavage. Pierre Boudoir. Storm duck. First name, last name. Ed Flanders and Tad Faster Man. Ted Faster Man. Tad faster man.

California Tech. Just the Tad Flaught. Tad faster. Just a tad faster. It sounds like the Irish, you say that. Tadfasterman. Just a tad fasterman.

No, it would be pronounced Tad fasterman. Yeah. Yeah. If it was in Ireland, it's like a waiters going to the kitchen. We need you to bring these artists. A tad faster man. Okay,

apologies to the Irish. No, no. I'm tossing up between. Never apologize to the Irish. Unless you're the queen Because the one that I'm gravitating towards is Tad Fasterman But I'm thinking would Ben talk up that Yeah

Interesting And it's probably very lucky that he would The double bluff I'm just riffing on all of them Okay, none of them But are you? Yeah I mean Storm Duck

If you give a kid's called Duck And you think Oh we need to give him something a little bit punchy Let's go with Storm Yeah but can you hear it announced During the game Storm Duck Yeah

No, I don't. To me, that doesn't, it doesn't sound quite wrong. Pierre Boudoir, that's just ridiculous. Pierre Boudoir is, to me, if I'm going to... Cleavage sounds like something out of a, you know, National Lampoon. Sturgeon's cleavage. Yeah.

And then you've got Ed Flanders, which has got beautiful echo of Simpsons. Jeez, these are hard. Hadley doodley. That's his catchphrase when he's, when he's cornerback. What the hell? All in, Ted Fasterman. Tad Fasterman. Tad Fasterman.

Tad Fasterman. Locked in. Raywin? I usually think maybe Tad as well. No, I'll go Storm Duck. Okay. Storm duck. What made you change your mind?

Well, because David did Ted Posterman, and I think you might have written it. It sounds a bit like you, but then also I don't believe any of the others are real. Yeah, but I'm fucking kooky. It could be storm duck. I'm fucking cuckier as hell. And I'm in a crazy state of mind.

That's what I'm thinking of. All right, we all locked in? Yeah. Okay, here's who wrote the answers. Ed Flanders. That was Raywin. It's a good one. It's good one.

Nearly Philford. Nearly. First name, last name. That was Jane, the questioner. So when Raywin was laying anywhere before, I'm like, come on, if we're going to be kind of anyone, make it the listeners. Pierre Boudoir, that was the house. That's a good one.

Yeah. up the spelling of boudoir, which makes no sense because I was the one reading it out. Because it's important that you just know the fake nose, right? All right. Tad Farsham and David went for that. That was Ben.

You both were on to him as well. I double bluffed you though. Yeah, you did double bluff me. Yeah. Well done. And I was all, I'm like, the fact that you were trying to talk Ray went into it by saying, no, I could have written Storm Duck.

It's a pretty transparent answer. I don't even give a... Storm Duck anymore. So Ben went for Sturgis, Cleavage, that was David Astell. We are swapping back in. We are exchanging points. Oh my God.

And that means... Storm Duck. Raywin is correctness. Yeah. Nice way. Thank you. Yes, gets a point that round. She's going to make it.

From a real low before. I'm riding high. Hey, John, maybe we should just try and do the house. Maybe that's what you should try and do. I think so. Well, you are now doing that. The scores at the halfway marker, Ray one on one, the house on two, but David and Ben on three.

Three points of peace. See, I think this is good. This is the way you play. Yeah, beat the house. This is, this podcast should be cool. Beat the house. Yeah, that's true. The real villain of the show.

Yeah. Because usually, I mean, the last few times I've played with, uh, with, uh, Mish and Mish is all in it for herself. She doesn't care about anyone else. She's like, what about strategy? Nah, she's, she's Mish, Mish. There's only one, there's only room for one winner and that's Mish. As opposed to. She's the real villain of this.

Okay, interesting. She's really the people's hero. That's what people, I mean, it's always the case, isn't it? Like, never meet you heroes. Right. And she is a tyrant. She's actually the Ellen of this podcast. I'm telling you what, this, uh, this slagging up from a big weapon on her back feels very villainous.

I'm just trying to get the word out there. Do you know Mish, Dave? I don't know Mish, no. She's very, very funny, but she's, she takes this, she goes all in on this game. Yeah. Well, I can relate to that. Yeah. Not that I'm funny, but I'm competitive.

I think maybe I've got to get you two head-to-head one time. All right, question four. This one comes from me. I've been watching so much hoof-trimming videos. My algorithm has changed. Wow. So it's all hoof-trimming videos, especially this. Well, there's two main guys.

You've got a pony? No, it's true. I don't know. At one point, I stopped on a video now it's all it is. And I will watch them. I don't like it when they've got abscesses. I'm not an abscess. Oh, that's the best.

They nearly always have those abscess. I don't like pimple popping. I don't like abscess. Ray, when do you? I do. I can I come and, can I sit in on a session? Yeah. Wow.

I've never, never had an abset. Oh, no, wait, I have. So you're a hoof to? I'm a hoof to. I'm a hoofed. Yeah, letting everyone know today. So anyway, so there's this American guy, Nate, the hoof guy.

But there's another one, a Scottish guy called the hoof GP. And I think he was the OG guy. and it's interesting you'll see on his videos there's always Nate guys going Nate would be a lot more gentle with the hoofs than this and it's a real interesting little world there but anyway Is it though? I think it's really interesting

But there's what grabs me every time I watch the hoof GP The Hoof GP has a tagline And it gets me every time It's a web series with millions of subscribers. So what is the Scottish cow trimmer show, the Hoof GP? What is its tagline? Wow. And just quickly about Storm Duck, according to Wiki,

full name Storm Chandler Duck. Storm is his birth name. He's the son of Phyllis and Todd Duck. And he was named after Storm Logan, a character from the soap opera, the bold and the beautiful. Oh. And really, I was assuming that would be a nickname Storm, you know, or a name he's taken on,

but that was birth name Storm Duck. Hey, well, you're still writing your answers. Let's go for a quick break. All right, we're back, and answers are in for question number four. What is the Hoof GP Web Series's tagline? Here are your options. The don'ts and dos of renewing coup shoes. Option one.

Fiddler on the hoof Option three Dream, believe, achieve Option four Thanks everyone Give this video a hoofs up Question five Perfect paddock pedicures

We'll finally clean your bum Clean your bum Clean your bum It's just good advice Yeah The hoof jeep It's just a real bunbear It is

I don't have any dirty ass viewers. Clean your bum. Don't and do's of the moo shoes, is it right? Renewing Coos shoes. Man, it missed a trick with leaving Moos out there, hasn't he? The Doors and Dews of Renewing Coos shoes. Ah, Coos shoes.

Now I'm going to watch you if you were really pushing something. Yeah, have you gone for Ban each round so far? I think it's almost been. I'm in your head, David. There's some kind of subversity bromance going to you. Even though it's built on, you know, rivalry and hatred. Oh, it's a hate of rivalry. It's becoming a bromance.

I feed on your hate. This is like, you know, so hang on, let's think about it. You're making him stronger. Don't you get it. Fiddler on the hoof. Fiddler on the hoof. Dream, believe, achieve. Okay.

Thanks, everyone. Give this video a hoofs up. Perfect pedicures or clean your bum. Thanks, everyone. Give it a hoofs up. Hops up? Yep. All right, locked in.

So the Canadians say that, I don't know, but they say, elbows up or something. Elbows up, eh? Albows up, eh? That's being aggressive. Elbows up. Yeah. Hockey.

They're being elbows out with the US at the moment. Yeah, that's right. They should. Last year, Mike Myers said on. Elbows up. Albows up on at the end of SNL. It's like, yeah. A cry to action.

I think America is sort of coming for them, or at least the executive branch. I go Canucks. Go Canada. I'm going to be over there. Maybe I might even be over there when this episode comes out. Whoa. Pretty exciting. I've never been.

It's basically the same country as Australia. Is it? Yeah. What would be the main difference? Poutin. Puttine. Like a whole area that speaks French. Yeah, that's it.

It's the main difference. Oh, no. I think I'll be back. Well, I had a great time. Yeah. What was your highlight, Matt? Oh, Poutine. Yeah.

See an elbows. Beautiful country of elbows. Beautiful elbows. We should say, we should say elbows out. Albows out. Well, I think Dave Hughes is. Yeah, that's true. Anyway, all right, so David's gone for hoofs up.

Ray one, what do you reckon? I really did have you in mind with this one a bit. I thought Ray one's going to really come into her own, possibly as a viewer. subscriber. I think I always watch them with the sound off, though. So I actually don't know the sun. She can't stand the Scottish accent.

One's it repulsive. It's like nails and talk about. I like the perfect paddock pedicuous. Triple P. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Another alliterative. It's very predictable.

The flagrant failure was the house. It was. Just saying. I'm realizing today. I'm also an illiterate, is that I'm saying? You're a known illiterate. Yeah. My turn?

You're locked in, triple P? Or you're going to move away? Could I just have them one more time? Clean your bum. Yeah. Clean your bum. Oh, yeah. You want to do them all in.

Sure. Yeah. Clean your bum. Perfect paddock pedicures. Perfect paddock petticure. Thanks everyone. Give this video a hoofs up. Thanks everyone. Give this video a hoofs up. Dream, believe, achieve.

Dream, believe, achieve. Fiddler on the hoof. Fiddler on the hoof. Or the don'ts and do's of renewing coos shoes. The don'ts and do's of renewing coo's shoes. Is that helpful? That's very good. I loved that.

I actually, that made me more confident in my perfect paddock pedicure. All right. Lock it in. And Ben? I think that doing it was very helpful because I don't think I think that's too hard for a Scotsman to say and to say that all the time for a Scotsman.

I think they just said it quite well. I think it's too difficult. I'm going to go for... I've got two. I've got three. No. Yeah. No, I've got two.

So the other thing you're thinking... I've got the don't. a renew in queues shoes because that's good and you said it tickled you and I can understand why that tickles you. I think that's what you're thinking.

You're thinking it's got to be something that tickled me but also that you believe a Scottish person. Someone would say. Yeah, but also it could be it tickles you because it has fucking nothing

to do with hooves which is clean your bum or clean your bum. I mean it could be. Clean your bum. Hey, thanks for watching. Lean your bum.

That sounds like the kind of thing that Billy Connolly might have had. Yeah, it feels Scottish. It suddenly sounds plausible. It doesn't sound like you've brought anything out now. Dream Believe Achieve. No, I'm going to try and put it, kind of close it in. Dream Believe, Achieve, or,

daunts and doze of Renewing Kew's shoes. I'm going to do that one. All right. It's good now. hope that it's not the house. All right, everyone's locked their answers in. Here's who wrote them. Clean your bum.

That was Ben. Fiddler on the hoof. That was David. Hey, you didn't. There's one round you didn't pick each other. Yeah, that was a dead joke. I thought it was fantastic. Ray when Pickering went for perfect paddock pedicures.

I'm afraid that was the house. I'm realizing I am a big. You are. Alliterate. Illiterate. Watch out for the illiteration. Correct to your code, dude. The don'ts and do's of renewing Q's shoes was also the

house, I'm afraid. And when you said moo, I'm like, how did I... Yeah, how did you forget that out? Dream believe Achieve, I'm going to be so... No way. Thanks to everyone, give this video a hoofs up. David, for that. That was Raywin.

Yay, there you go, Raywin. I'm backing you now. And that means, yes, dream believe achieve is correct. Oh my God. It makes me laugh every time. It's so grandiose. Wow. What did you think this show was going to be?

I really am annoyed at myself for night. Well, I think you were on the right path. I love that. It's so funny to me. Every time I love, like that's crazy. Like he is living his best life. He's in the mud. He's got mud and feces all over him.

Believe and achieve. All right, Nobel Prize for hoof trimming. DBA, baby. I love that. So that round the house scores a couple of points. Yuck. And Ray went on the board again. Good.

So, well, things are getting interesting. Ray went on two, David and Ben on three, but the house now in front on four. As we come to the penultimate question, comes from Tina Nurness. Tina Nurness. Is she a cornerback for the Miami? Sounds made up.

It's a great name. Well, it's not quite made up. It's German. She's from Bobbingen, Germany. Viguergian, Germany. We get it's better. These are places you've been? Yeah, it's a lovely.

It's a great spot. Oh, awesome. And it's a German question. Tina asks, for what reason is German man Daniel Kubelbock known? The O has the umlaut. That lengthens it, right? Yeah. Kubel book.

Maybe. So it's an omelod over the O? Yeah. So it's bleak. Kubel book. Mib. Kubel book. Kubel book.

For what reason is German man, Daniel Kubelbuk. Known. While you're writing around. Being a tongue twister. Yeah. You, Kibu. I love it. While you're writing your answers,

here's some more info about the Hoof GP. He's got his own wiki page, which writes, Graham Milroy Glenn Parker, born in 1982, is a Scottish cattle hoof trimmer, author and YouTuber. His YouTube channel,

the Hoof GP, was created in 2019 and primarily consists of videos of hoof trimming. It is the largest agricultural YouTube channel in the world with more than 100 million views a month and has more than 6 million followers

across YouTube and Facebook as of 2024. at least. He had originally set up the channel to educate fellow farm workers and to share videos of specific trims with explanations before reaching a much wider audience. Apparently, you very quickly noticed that the people commenting were not other farmers. And he's like,

oh, must have that first was like, why are you watching this? I'm going beyond the paddock. The answer in for question number five. What is the reason German man, Daniel Kubel Buk, is known. He was the first baby born in Germany in the new millennium.

His twin brother was the last of the previous one. He's in the Guinness World Records for the longest arm span. Is the current world record... Shortest guy, though. They do not. He's a shave down a ring time. He's like Mr. Grabby. The Grabbler.

Oh, the Grappler. Mr. Grabby is my father's name. Call me the Gravlin. The current world record holder for eating the most worst during the Munich October Fest. What is it? The most or the worst? The best? The most worst.

The most worst. The most versed, I suppose. Yaza worst. Option four, he's known for popping up in the news for many unrelated reasons, including coming third in season one of German Idol. Also for running over a truck of VIII. Gurkens and and then his last news was disappearing at sea on a cruise, a mystery that remains unsolved.

How did he run over a truck? Yeah. Yeah. What is he? I think he must have been in a monster truck. Is he driving a bigger truck? I assume he was in a big truck. Option five.

Whoopsy. You fucked that up, didn't you? He almost blew up the German parliament by accident on a school. trip. Or finally, is the first government minister of AI. Yeah, maybe I stuffed it up or maybe the person who sent it in is English as a second language. That's true.

That's true. And there's no alliteration either. So I guess either way, it's not correct. Well, no, the person who sent it in, sent in the right answer as well. Yeah, but the German people, they're precise, you know. Yeah. Yeah. And they usually have very good English.

Yeah. That's true of Germany in general, but there's different regions. Only a hundred or so years ago, they were all different kingdoms coming together. And you're just talking about Germany like it's a monolith, but I think of Deutschelanders, containing multitudes. Just like you. I'm going to vote for that one. Vice-Barden, to me, they're not dreamers, believers, achievers.

Raywin, what do you reckon? You got the baby first baby born in the new millennium. Baby Bjorn. You get to wipe its bump. Longest arm span, which helps with that. You've got eating the most worst. Coming up in the news a lot, including running over Gercans and disappearing at sea, almost accidentally blew up the parliament or first government minister of AI.

I reckon accidentally blew up the government. Yeah? Yeah. All pretty good in this one. I'm going to go run over Gherkins. And how would that sound in German? I don't know. I can just do, the best German that I can do is more Austrian.

Yeah, what's his? What's his? What's his? What's his? How would Werner Herzog say? Daniel ran over. a truck of Gherkins I could not help but think

that maybe that hum we were all the truck of Gherkins waiting to be run over by time and David do that help convince it's very informative actually being the third voter

because you can't vote for your own I guess that is one of the rules of this game I've kind of figured that out now not everyone does so I'm going to get for the It's a real triple bluff. I do love the elegance, and it's very plausible of the split twins. So the one that's the last of the millennium and the one that's first in millennium,

because that would be quite the newsworthy item. Split twins? Split twins, yeah. The only thing that would put me off that one is it's asking about him specifically. It's like, what about the brothers? What about me? Yeah. You were last millennium shoes, mate.

Don't dissuade me because I'm feeling quite happy with myself. No, I'd do that sometimes. And if someone has honestly come up with that answer and I changed my mind, then I think that's the house trying to get house points. And I think that's her unethical. I think that's, I think you're being super inappropriate. Yeah.

Well, I, you know, keep this part in, Connor. Because I want this. I want to take this one to the ombudsman. The podcast on-bundsman. All right. So everyone's locked in then. Yeah. It's who wrote the answers.

Longest arm span. That was Raywin. beautiful image. I actually saw a guy. I'm just down spent, shortest man. It'd be a great. There's a whole page of like weird ratios.

There's a guy that I just saw on social media who started his own account because he is like a shorter guy with really long arms and he's like I'm going to accentuate it with the gym. So he's trying to make his give himself like a really bulky back to make himself look like a werewolf almost. And he already has that sort of, yeah. It's lean an inner.

in. Leaming in, yeah. Which is why hunchbacks do. Yeah. Just look at yourself and go, I want to be, I want to look horrific. Yeah. The most worst at October 1st, that was Ben. That's the most worst.

The most worst. I cannot, I cannot eat any more first. Please. I want your burst with the worst. Daniel, don't eat any more burst. At least it was the first. The government minister for A. That was David.

Yeah, you bastards. Now, Rayan went for German Parliament. That was Tina, the question writer. Oh, okay. Sly minks. Oh, so hang on, that was Tina's fake. Tina's fake, okay, the house. But Tina's also put the legit answer in the two of the fakeies here.

Also wrote the new millennium birth. Oh, yeah. Which is why I was actually trying to help, not him. Yeah, no, but I do love your work, Tina. You fooled me. And that means Ben Rossel is correct. It was too specific. Right.

You know what I mean? Like all the other ones were... Yeah. That's amazing. I need to know a lot more about this, Daniel. And then at first I was like, oh, is that an era? But no, you're right. She's from Germany.

She's German. Hmm. What a life. And he's disappeared. He's disappeared, yeah. And it took a couple years, but he's been in Germany. There's a rule that you can... He's sort of been announced dead, basically, lost in sea.

But yeah, amazing life. starting on, like the first thing he came to prominence was on Deutsche Land Idol. Genuinely, he's, investigate this guy. Yeah. I mean,

that's astonishing. So he just kept popping up in the news. Yeah, yeah. Just for random things. Yeah. Well, yeah, I guess he was sort of a bit of a personality. So things he did were newsworthy.

But apparently the Gurkin thing really got big in, in Germany. It was very memeified. So we went from Ideal to running over Dills. No, I can't make that work. That's all right. You miss, you know. You've got to take the shot.

Yeah. I plunged and didn't close. The, I'm just trying to, the pickle truck in Germany, Ben, they call them Gurkandlasters, a pickle truck. So apparently Gurk and Laster became just a, very memed word at the time. How would that sound? Girk and Laster.

As, fair enough. It's a Gokin Laster. I don't know, because it could be a luster. It already is a bit. I don't know the pronunciation. So in that round, Ben got the correct answer. And I'm afraid the house, thanks to Tina, got a couple as well. Two more points.

So I go on the final round, but this is why the three guests get triple points. the house does not. You'll need them this time. Rowan's on two, David's on three, Ben's on four, but out in front is the house on six points. And the final question is a movie synopsis question. So, David, this will be your longest answer. Yeah.

Short paragraph. It comes from Katie Drinkwater from Sheffield in England. Good advice, Cody. Yeah. Get your sixth class. Reminding me, Katie. And Katie's question is, what is the synopsis of the film,

the old woman with the knife. The old woman with the knife. In the shoe? And she said the title made me laugh and felt like it had been designed in a lab for comedians to make up wrong answers about. The old woman with the knife. The old woman with the knife.

And while you're writing your answers, I'll tell the listeners a bit more about Daniel Kubelbuk. Cubelbuk. rose to start in late 2002 when he participated in the first season

of German talent show Deutsche then Superstar DSDS he gained the most viewer votes in three of the

nine rounds of the competition and received the second most votes in a further three rounds together with other participants

Daniel recorded the album United which included the number one single We have a dream he finished

the season in third place overall after DSDS Kubel Buk signed a contract with BMG in March of 2003, and he released his debut solo single,

You Drive Me Crazy, which topped the German sales chart. The follow-up single, Heartbeat, and Daniel's debut album, Positive Energy, both reached number two in Germany and achieved major success in Austria and Switzerland. In September 2003, he launched a perfume line for children in three fragrances under his name. He also released an autobiography,

I like main tune, Maybe. Goobabuk invested the proceeds from his album Positive Energy, amounting to around 1 million euros in a solar plant in Lower Bavaria, which would bring him high monthly profits. In early 2004, he participated in Iq bin ein star. Holt Mikhail Rouse, the German version of, I'm a celebrity, get me out of here, where he came third again.

Man, loves a bronze medal. He then released a cover of the line. Sleeps Tonight, which reached the top 10 in Germany and the top 40 of the Austrian and Swiss charts. In August, Kubel Buk's autobiographical musical film Daniel de Zalbara was released, in which he played a fictionalized version of himself. The film was critically panned and bombed at the box office. Then on February 24, 2004, the 18-year-old German pop singer was severely injured after colliding with a pickle delivery truck

known in Germany as the Gurkenlester while driving without a license. The accident became a massive, long-lasting pop culture phenomenon in Germany. Apparently locals gathered some of the spilled pickles and sold them as collector's items on eBay. On the 9th of September 2018,

he went missing from a cruise ship in open waters, about 185Ks north of St. John's in the Labrador Sea. The Canadian Coast Guard launched a search operation. On the 10th of September, the search was abandoned

because the maximum survival time and cold water was exceeded. And on the 10th of March of 2021, he was declared dead, setting his death date as 9th of September 2018. Rep. Rep Kuba Buk. It is an astonishing story.

Yeah, just that for, I mean, you wouldn't have heard it, but at one point he released a line of perfumes for children. In itself, I'm like, what? Yeah. I mean, There's no equivalent, is there, in Australian culture. It's like Harold Holt, but only Harold Holt.

Halt, who won a chelrystal. And smashed a piggled truck. I mean, that's three remarkable bizarre achievements. Yes. Newsworthy moments. And all that in like 30 years of life or something. Incredible. What a full life he led.

Yes. All right, it all comes down to this. Final question. What is the synopsis of the film, the old woman with the knife? Widow Jill has found a new love with her soulmate Stanley He's everything she wants in a partner Rugged, sturdy, practical, handy and sharp That's right, she's falling in love with a knife

While her friends fret They are unable to get through As Jell and Stanley plunge ever deeper in love An emotional film that meditates on themes of aging, love and loneliness The Old Woman and the Knife cuts deep That's option one, option two All over the world An old woman with a knife

appears to be at the same exact time. Sighting's a reporter in cities across the globe. Who is she? What does she want? Then the bodies start turning up. Scary. Hilarity ensues. That's a comedic rom.

Option three. Living alone, a widow expects an intruder in her apartment, only to stab her younger self in the house she'd once shared with her newlywed husband. That's option three. Because they all make complete sense. Yeah, yeah. Option four, legendary assassin Hornclore is now in her 60s. One day an ominous young killer named Bullfight appears before her.

To bullfight, Hornclaw is not only the enemy who murdered his father 25 years ago, but also the first person to show him kindness, and they form an unlikely bond. Will he help the veteran killer discover fresh purpose in her twilight years? Oh. Well, finally, the 2004 film Old woman with the knife was the sequel to the film Old Man with the Gun. It explores the laugh of the matriarch of the Lotson family who have been forgotten by society

living in the hills of Appalachia. They pray on lost hikers and try to pass down their law of the parents before all is forgotten. All right. Okay, Ben, we're back to you. Okay, these are the two that I liked. I liked Appalachia. Mm-hmm.

And I liked, what was like the one before? call that? Hornclore and bullfight. Yeah, I liked horn claw and bullfight. Yeah, good names. You put the effort in. So I'm going to go one of those. Hornclore bullfight or...

I like the specifics in the last, in the Appalachia one. It's like, oh, this is equal to an old man with the gun. Appalachian's great. Appalachians, yeah, it's a great. That's like a mountain range or something? Yeah. Yeah. So that's good.

What was the one that was an assassin one? That was on Hornclaw. Oh, yeah, there was a 60-year-old. It was the one where she's going to murder her herself, but that the setup wasn't that clear on that one. Yeah, living alone, a widow, there's an intruder in her apartment only to stab a younger self in the house she'd once shared with a newlywed husband.

Stab a younger self. make sense to me. The lady appearing to everyone. You might not get Ardhouse David. No. Yeah, maybe that's it. The lady appearing to everyone in the world is a good idea. It's scary.

It's scary. It's too scary for me. So I'm going to go horn, claw and bullfight. Right. Hornclore. And you know what, you know what decided it for me? What's that? The horn claw and bullfire.

Really? Yeah. That's what I got into. They do. They do seem like they're a few steps away from something you'd think of immediately for a character name. Although evocative of Raywin Pickering's obsession with... Oh, true. A little bit of Fantasia in her work.

It's either farms or fantasia. Horn. Hornclaw. A ton of horse. Hang on. Yeah, that's true. That's true. That's a town.

It's just one little slight of hand away from Ravenclaw. But then again, I would rather give a point to Raywin. Oh, true. That's true. I'm going to go. I appreciate that. Okay. Okay.

So the very first one was about the woman who fell in love with a knife. Lots of great puns in that, by the way. The sharpness and the Stanley and they, you know, plunge deeper, all that. Far too much work. Far too many puns. Then you had that. Even for you, David. That's a lot.

Wow. At every side. That's this kind of zealig version, but with a knife and at Gore. It's like that Nicholas Cage movie where he, it's dream. dreams or where he like appears to everyone in the dream. Oh, what's that? It's a great set. I forgot what it was called.

It's like spider legs? No, what is it called? No, no, that's a horror. This one's more of like a sort of a weird, I don't even know. It's an indie film. Okay. But it's pretty good actually. Then the third one from memory was about the, oh, that was a woman who stabbed her younger self.

Yes. Okay. Then there was the bear claw. Horn claw and bull claw. And then the Appalachian. And was there another one in there? I thought there was six. There's only five in this round.

Only one house fake answer. Okay. Just to really load it up for the guess. I hate winning. Yeah. All right. Well, I'm going to back Raywin. And I'm going to go for bullfight as well.

Oh, wow. Ballfight. Okay. So you'll go on in. So whoever gets this wins. Interesting. Yeah, they do. Yep.

All right, Raywin. What are you using? I don't fully. understand the stabbing herself when she's younger. So I think that could be a movie. Yeah, yeah. It doesn't really make sense. Yeah, it's the kind of thing.

I leave God. There wasn't like much budget. Whoever I'm there with like go to them. He got one or ten out of ten. Nothing in between. Yeah. Just double checking. What was that?

That was good? Hang on. Was that? Was that her? What are we? Yeah, no, I loved it too. Yeah. Yeah.

Is that right? What are you looking at? I'm looking at you to see if we love the movie or not. I don't know. I didn't feel it. For me, it just didn't make sense. To me, neither. How can you do that?

How can you stab yourself and you're an older version of yourself? I don't know. That's breaking the third. That's a playful little player. I thought I'd always recognize yourself or something. That's a matter for, David. Yeah. And there was no little rush.

But there was no time travel machine. Yeah. It wasn't really clear. Was short though. So you go on that. one? Yeah. All right.

Because you don't get it? Because I don't get it. Yeah, I like it. I reckon that's what I would have done to. What? Yeah, okay. All right.

Here's the right. The very silly first one, that was the house. Yes. The, so yeah, so you've all avoided the house. That's amazing.

I think Raywin might have gotten all the point. If she's bullfight, she's really going to do well here. The one that scared Ben was written by Ben. Yeah. I scare we.

You scared yourself. I scare myself. I was like, this is too scary. Okay, so it's down to bullfight, the weird time machine one and then the Appalachians. Yes, Appalachia. That was Raywin. Aha.

Ben was so close to go with you there. Now, Raywin went for the stabbing her youngest self or older self. That was badmastal. Oh, man. Was that a strategy of yours to shit on her? You're like, I don't, this doesn't work. Even as I read it out, you went, no, that doesn't make it. I think there was a typo in there too.

Yeah, I think there was. And I just read it as is. No, you did very worldwide. A widow expects an intruder in her apartment. Yeah, I don't know what I said. Probably in, like, would it be? I don't know what I was thinking. But anyway, it works for it.

I just avoided puns. I just avoided puns. I just avoided puns, that's all. I went the other way. I was like, I sat there for a minute and I went, all right, what's a knife? Yeah. It's sturdy. It's sharp, too.

So that means... And that means that Ben... That is a real one? And David are correct. It's the legendary assassin Hornclaw. Now in her 60s. And yeah, it's a Korean film from just a couple of years ago.

Wow. A review from Katie Smith Wong reads a compelling, bloody and intense thriller that shows heroines come in all ages with Lehi Young shining as a badass. It's got a 93. percent approval rating from critics on Rotten Tomatoes. So yeah, I think Katie was right though.

Great name for this kind of, yeah. It is. All right. It doesn't say rom-com to me. No. I'm keen to look it up though. It sounds like a bit of fun. All right, I'll give you the final scores in a second.

But before I do that, where can people find you, David? Now, I didn't realize this. You've written way more books than I realize, including fiction novels. Fiction novels, yeah, they're the best time. The Mazepan... Yeah, Mazepan Plan. A award nominated for the Miles Franklin?

It was, yeah. I had no idea. I know. I was all of 24. Actually, maybe that should be another one for who knew it. What is the synopsis for Mazapan Plan? Because I've forgotten, and I reckon I should be able to compete in that. That sounds like familiar.

I think you just don't slag it off. That's a stupid. Makes that sense. Is that a rom-car? Dumb. Whoever wrote it was dumb. Haven't been writing for a little while though, but you'll get me behind the microphone

doing a lot better audio techniques than here in this podcast studio. And that's on ABC Radio 774. Thanks for calling. If you like to call 300, triple-2-7-4. And for people outside of Melbourne, it's all available online. Oh, yeah, yeah.

Now, why would you go anywhere else? Yeah. Actually, a real highlight of the show. I know this is probably going to date when the podcast was aired, but when we did lose this week, the wonderful Dolly Parton, we came up with this crazy patchwork quilt idea where we asked every caller to add another line, sing the line from Islands in the Stream.

Then we just cobbled them together as this one big prestige. Oh, that's very fun. And everyone's singing their little hearts out, tone deaf, a nine-year-old. Old's doing it. Spoken word. It's just so shambolic. And the fact that it's a train wreck is a chef's kiss to the rhinestone queen from Tennessee.

That's awesome. So, yeah, some days. So in a way, this podcast is a tribute to. Yes. It is. I'm just going to do a shout out to Dolly. Well, funnily enough, the lady with the knife. We recorded my, the final question in an episode that was recorded the week before,

but released after, was about a TV pilot of hers that never got ahead. Uh-huh. Yeah. About her, yeah, going to losing a partner and her journey towards heaven. It was quite surreal. What an incredible, I mean, I did love that we spoke to Alison Lester, the children's author, because it was her book, I think it was, Are We There Yet, a kid's book that was one of the first picked for Dolly's

Imagination Library when it opened up in Australia. And Allison had the pleasure of meeting Dolly. And I said, so what was your strongest impression? and Alison in very children's book fashion said she was very short. Not tiny. I just, I love that. Was it?

Oh, her charisma. I mean, that came as well, but the first impression. I tower. Very short woman, that's why I always stacked her hair up so high, I guess.

That's quite makes sense when you think about it. Yeah, also. And yeah, for internationalists, you're basically, it's BBC One radio. Is that the equivalent?

Oh, yeah, I guess, No, that's probably a bit too grand. BBC 2. BBC 1 with a lot less money. Yeah, yeah. That's right.

Just imagine the whole thing put together by, you know, a hamster in a ball of string. It's kind of like that radio. Yeah. Raywin, what about you? Where can people find you? You're doing fringe or a comedy festival next year? No, no.

So. Sticking to the farm at the moment. And Raywood's a regular. Oh, regular on that show. She's wonderful when Rowan comes in doing our co-host segments, survey. I'll plug ABC Ready as well. I'll plug ABC Ready as well.

Well, you can't plug selling good anymore. No, but I can plug. I'm going to... Well, AVZ Ready is not that bad. I don't even mind. I'm going to do a show, my solo show at the Elysian Theater in Los Angeles. Awesome. La La Land.

Tinsentown, holy weird. Oh. I'm walking here. Maybe Spielberg will be there. Maybe Spielberg will be there. Who knows? Buying the rights. It's a bidding war.

Yeah. Oh. I think it's like the 27th. They haven't gone on sale yet, but I'm literally going to go home and send them my shit. Yeah, get it on sale and yeah, let me know if you're going to share it. I'd love, yeah. Follow me on Instagram and I'll bloody let you know. Awesome.

Oh, that's exciting. Yeah. Lala land. Wow. Oh, yeah. So good. All right, well. Denseltown.

Denseltown. That's where dreams are made. Dream believe, achieve. Dream believe, achieve. And don't forget to wipe your bum. Now, don't some views. We have all got your own catchphrases now. All right, so final scores before we wrap up.

Raywin, unlucky. Ben was so close to going with you, but Raywin finished in fourth position. Unbelievable. On Du Poins. Du Poins. Du Poir. in second place on six points it's the house jumping up into second place on seven points

is Ben Russell but winning the day it's the redemption tour on nine points the winner is David Astell If you're listening to this Come on in, I want to take you down If it wasn't for Raywin making the worst choice possible We would have been tired I know

Thanks Raywin Yeah thanks for making the worst choice you could Oh yeah, the one that doesn't make sense. Yeah, I'll pick that one. Now, there will be off-cuts as every week, so keep listening afterwards. You'll get a bunch of Ben Russell nonsense, if that's what you're into.

Cheers for tuning in. Too much this week. Yeah, Connor, you can't leave a lot of that. I was still waking up. I haven't been sleeping very well. I loved every second of it. Give us a five-star review if you want to. I'll tell your friends,

if you think you know anyone who might enjoy this. Anyway, cheers for tuning in. Who knew with Matt Stewart? Now that you know it, I've been Matt Stewart. Goodbye. Wash your bum. Clean your bum. Gat station, some glasses.

Oh, that's exactly what they are. Oh, I know. And you meant that as a compliment or? Oh, they're yours. Yeah, yeah. You know what? Oh, no. I've heard, yeah, my last few pairs,

I had like more expensive, um, Ray bands. But I just like scratch up. They always get scratched up. Normally from me, forget it they're on my head and hitting the ground. So, but I like the,

I like the rainbow. I think I look really cool. Just don't host a podcast. Okay. My context is really important in this. I don't know if they're good. You don't know if they're good. No, honestly.

And I'm not trying to be mean. I'm trying to be your friends. I appreciate that. Coming into summer. Yeah. Yeah. I just don't know if they're the ones for summer. Okay.

Keep an eye out. Okay. When you're at the BP. Yeah, yeah. They're a shoulder, a shoulder season where at best. Yeah. But not peak time. I don't reckon peak time.

Okay. I'm going to lose some street cred. Okay. And I don't have a heap to go. I need to reserve a lot of that. Yeah. Jeez. Hey, David, do you mind if we film this?

No, I'm okay. Okay. I'm going to show you my current shot. Which I mean, you weren't aware that we were filming, so I would normally say that. Hello, there you go. What do you hear that? It's already hardy, I think, actually. Yeah, no worries.

Okay, you happy with that? Yeah. Any chance you could... I think that shows you in a really good line. Just move slightly. Yeah, sure. I know, I don't mind it necessarily. How's that?

I'm a real David, David. Yeah, okay. You happy now, man? Happy Earth. Unbelievable. I'm so sorry. You're bringing someone on as a guest on your show and you treat them like this? Yeah.

That's where I normally sit for Dugo on and Dave Warnocky sits here and I'm... You're out of you. I'm always in that shot. Okay. So I have a little empathy for the first time for Warnocky. I really wish you hadn't done that, Dave. Sorry, mate. I'm going to now see him as a human.

So we text it to you. Oh, yes, you texted to me. Okay, okay, I'm putting it in my notes function, which I'm wondering, you know, when are you going to click my phone? Well, yeah. No, no, no, I'll send it to you. Can you, are you on any of the social media? Do you have manual? No, I'm only on Blue Sky.

I'm old school. Yeah, do you want to DM me on? Old school. I'll send it to you on, personally. The only problem with text is, oh, yeah, I mean, I can then send it to myself, I guess. Oh, what do you want me to send it to your Instagram or something? Why would you have to send it to your side? Well, I'd just see it on the computer.

Oh. Oh, do you want to the team? I'll send it as an email. I mean, come on. There it is. That's what I'm saying. Email it. And you've just, where have you, oh, yes, I've got it now.

I'm like grabbing a park. Yeah, I was. It's hard out there. So every time. The Welsh are passionate about it. No, Irish, so. Matt looks down and reads it off his phone. We know that that's David's.

Well, I'm not going to send it to myself and then we're all good. It's not really going to give it. it away though. We just know that he'll, he would have read something unless Matt reads it moves moving his lips and we can make out what he's reading. Now, yeah, well, I understand what you're all saying and I think you're all correct. I'm glad we did this kind of preparation. Yeah. On pod.

Well, Norm, yes. That is fair enough. You've both sent me on Messenger? I can see it. Well done. Thank you. this bit will be edited out i reckon no keep this in this is good content

we'll call back to this the whole way through no no no no so Ben is that a relief to not have a weekly thing anymore yeah because I I am

teaching now at the moment well teaching improv or teaching the youth of the nation teaching VCA oh sick in the moment. On Tuesdays and Wednesdays.

Comedy-related things, which is kind of fun. I'm filling in from someone. But it's been enjoyable. Oh, that's awesome. Yeah. And are you mean to them? Wow. Are you mean to them like you mean to me?

No, I'm particularly mean to you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I do do, I do teach improv and I am mean to them because they deserve it. Yeah. For choosing that path. Yeah, exactly. And I'm trying to help them.

by getting them to stop. Yeah, you're golliaing them. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Ben knows. I'll be writing an essay over here, huh? For a fish. Yeah.

I know all the ones that'll be it because it'll be bloody big long sentences as a name for a fish. Like to eat coral in the Caribbean. So you just want a name. Okay, sorry. You don't want to overthink this, you know? Yeah.

Well, I know that's your game. I feel like with fish, they just kind of see it name it. With fish, they're like, oh, parrot fish.

It's all very descriptive. Oh, it kind of, it looks like it groups. It's a group. It's a group. And they must be like to putt's. You get the feeling that.

And in the middle it looks like a pussy. Looks like a cat. There's two options there for Connor to go with in the edit. I think he should use all of them. I don't have a problem without getting out there. Um, The, um, and Emily adds, they eat frogs. That's crazy.

That is crazy. Just like the French. Yeah. Blubber for it. Blubber lips would be a pretty good, like for the English or someone who hates the French. That would be a good put down name for them. I feel like the French really have cornered the frog eating market, but they're not the only culture that he eats frogs. Really?

Who else eats frogs? There's quite a few different. Blubber lips? Blubber lips. There's quite a few. There's quite a few there. Yeah, kestrels. Kestrel culture.

I'm bloody sick of this kestrel culture. Any other hugh? All these kestrels going around. Can't say that anymore because they'll kestrel you. Did you see there was a politician in the news? minority group is left now. There's a politician this week who was talking about houses being woke. Woke palaces.

Oh, woke palaces. Yeah, he's like, there's like there's too much code that these houses have to be built to. They don't need to be these woke palaces. Like, it's really... They're built of houses that are non-gendered now. You can't even find a dude house. It's so funny. And woke, I believe, is it to her that came from...

black American culture. It has slipped so far from that. Yeah. This was at like a... I think like popularized by Christina Anu. No. Yes. No.

Not Christina New. I mean... My island. No, no, no. Delete this. I've got a... Who is it? Um...

That's so... Fuck. She's like a... Oh, wow. I don't... Yeah. I've got friends who certainly do not know what it means. They talk about the AFL guy.

woke. I'm like, I can't, I can't deal with this, guys. I was having this conversation my dad. He lives in, like, rural south east Queensland and he was going to take my job for a walk. And I was like, I'll just take some poo bags. He was like, oh, we don't have that, like back home. We don't have to be woke. Wow. I am just looking after the neighbourhood. It is mine. It's a dog poo bag. It's too woke. You know what's real Australia is you let you dog, shit on your neighbor's lawn. And they clean it up.

What? What are you talking about? It's so weird. We're in a weird place. We are. I forgot. My brain's not working today. I'm sorry.

Hey, no apologies required. You're in the equal lead. Imagine how you're only using 10% of your brain, right? Yeah, no. I don't know what's wrong. Was it someone called Christine? It was a singer you're thinking of. Yeah, I'm thinking of like an old school singer.

But it doesn't, I don't want to talk about it anymore. too stupid. Yeah. All right, Connor. Which is very unlikely because usually. Connor, like we always say, make the guests look good in the edit, please. Connor, thanks so much. That's your number one job.

Actually, number one job is to make me look good in the edit. Number two job is to make the... Number three job is to make the listeners have an enjoyable time. To make it cohesive. Yeah. I'm playing 5D chess. Yeah. Yeah, that's right.

I'm trying to play 5D chess to try and beat you. But then again, I think... I think I'm about 2D short of a 5. Ben, can you stop playing chess and stop playing this game? No. I love chess. I was, because the term, the term, or at least it used to be playing 3D chess. And then I said it one time, like, hang on, isn't that normal chess?

Isn't that normal chess? But yeah, that can't be right. But it's now 5D chess. You're playing. You're up in the astral plane somewhere. Yeah. Yeah. I walk the astral plane and I play a little chess.

That's all I do. Well, you've got lengths and you got breads and then you got depths, right? That's the third dimension. Yeah, what? Is this like the old movie world on the Gold Coast where the fourth D was, they'd spray a mist sometimes? The fourth D is mist. The fourth dimension is the mist dimension.

Yeah. Fourth day is glitter, I think. But a fifth dimension. I think you and David's opposite mic techniques is going to be really interesting for Conner's editing. Well, it's really the three little pigs or whatever, you know. But I'm talking quite softly. No, the porridge thing. David's like a meter away.

You're a millimeter away. He's used to those ABC. Right. Right. And also probably having a producer riding the level. Yeah. It's porousy. Spirit sort.

They've got all the settings right. in there, you know, that's what they do. But he... I mean, I assume... It's a dog's breakfast in there. I assume Connor's probably doing a similar thing. Connor, is that right? He never responds.

Connor? I think he's pissed off. Some, there are some listeners who don't believe he exists. Yeah, that's right. I've seen him. Yeah, there you go. Okay. So what is it some sort of following do?

Connor and Matt in the same room, though. Hmm. That doesn't mean, I mean, yes, but that doesn't... That doesn't rule it out. They still... There still could be the same. I follow him on Instagram. Okay.

And he was at a renaissance fair recently. He cast a shadow. Well, I don't. Yeah, that's true. Is he some sort of wizard? Or AI. AI. It could be AI.

Time travel. No, I've met him too. He's Perth-based. AI is very good. It is true. As we come to the penultimate question, this one comes. Is that second last? Is that one?

Yeah, right. Yeah. Second last name. That's right. So that question we just said was the anti-penultimate. Was that right, yeah, yeah. Well. Or was that the second question?

Your jokes, because if I just believe that that is the real word, but if it was a joke, then it was great as well. Does that give me a point or? Because I think I just bluffed you. You did. I'm like, oh, yeah, I would not want to play against you. I would have picked all of your answers. There was that one that we just had, was that the text ultimate. Wait, said that again.

Okay, here we go. Texta ultimate. Let me explain this. Yeah. Okay. Texta. Yes. Crayon.

Maybe a pencil ultimate. A pencil. I tried pencil, but it was too close to pen. Yeah. Maybe like a marker ultimate. Yeah, chalktimate. There's so many. I get it now.

And also, I love it. Thank you. You know it's good because we had to stop and clarify. Conard, you can just tie this up. Do you go? No, Connor? I want to sit in my shed. I want to smell my fart.

Connor clips out fun bits that don't necessarily bring the quiz forward and he puts them at the end. And some people, it's their favorite bit of the show. And I have a funny feeling. Textimate might get there. Yeah, textimate. All right. Do you call it a texter? Yeah.

Yeah, cool. Yeah, yeah, call it text. Well, I was just in my head it was like text to talk or something. Listen, it was. I said it was, I would, it was quick. I had to move fast. I had to just make a choice, you know. I think, I like that we know you went through pencil.

Pencil to make, might, would have read easier maybe. Pencil to mate. Yeah, maybe you're right in hindsight. But hindsight is 2020. Mm. You know. That's true. But hey, I need, I need glasses.

Big ones too, but it looks of it. Yeah. Big beautiful glasses. All right. Big beautiful, we had a big, beautiful glasses. All right. elbows up. So, question five. Fiddler on the hoof.

Yeah, unlucky. Did it told a story on a live to go on when we're in New Zealand about this New Zealand guy got caught urinating in a car park on the top of a building and the headline? He became known as the Piddler. Oh, of course he did. Perfect. Yeah. I mean, didn't Galileo do a similar thing? Yeah, I think, well, it was the original.

He was dropping items though. Oh, okay. What a name as well, Galileo or Galile. Yeah, yeah, I know. His parents really, they were naming fish the rest of the day, I reckon. And also it was a gift to Freddie Mercury as well. Yes. I mean, it's almost like it's a warm-up exercise.

Yeah, I still don't know what the fandango is, but I imagine it's a beautiful dance. Yeah, it is. It is? It is. Yes. I did, last time I did a fandango was in Vicebaden. Oh. With Daniel Kububbuk.

Really? Well, that's what he's known for. He's a great fandongous. Is that a normal out you're wearing or you're just happy to see me? I can never get a out of it. What did you put in this coffee? I knew he was onto gold. If you got it flaunt it, that's what I said.

That was a beautiful moment. Yeah, so I appreciate Tina Nurness. Tina Nurness. Bring him to our attention. I'd absolutely never heard of him, but it feels like if that was maybe an American story, even, we'd all be very well aware of it. Well, do Dave and Jess listen to who knew,

it because it would be a very good to go on. Yes, I was thinking that. Well, let's find out. You steal and material from your listeners. No. Well, no, the listeners see that we get a credit across by the side. Yeah, turn to get a credit. Yeah.

Connor edited this out. And he mentioned it too. I'm going to take all that credit. Yeah, so here's a story I stumbled upon. Yeah. In my travels or whatever. You would do that. Yeah, I'm a dog.

You're a dog, dude. Recent trip to Canada or it came across the most bizarre story In the province of Monterelle Of what is it On Montreal

Quebec Quebec Are you gonna go see A friend of the show Alistair Trambley Yeah me and Al Are doing some stand-up shows together Oh beautiful

When are you gonna be there? In about a week and a half I think Oh okay cool Because I'm gonna be in North America In November Oh sick Yeah I'm never been to Canada

I'm really looking forward to it. Gorgeous. I love Canada. I've only been to Toronto. Yeah, cool. Which is like... That's the big, like the most bustling of the cities, isn't it? I don't know if it's the most bustling, but it felt the most like Melbourne of any city I've been to.

Oh, right. It doesn't even... Anywhere. Yeah. Even apart from Australian cities? Apart from Melbourne. Oh, like even more than Sydney. More than Sydney, it feels like Melbourne.

Really? That's interesting. It doesn't feel like Melbourne. Do you reckon? No, not at all. I think Sydney and Melbourne are basically identical. Apart from, you know, like, there's no nice beach and buildings and stuff here. Yeah, I guess if you're in the inner city of Sydney, like Petersham and Newtown. You go to a cafe or a bar or whatever.

It's Melbourne-esque. I'd say Williams Town doesn't feel like Melbourne. No. It feels with Sydney down there. Yeah. It feels different. Yeah. This actually feels like Newman and Kramer saying, I think it feels more like Tuesday.

Oh yeah, there's a little Tuesday feeling about it. Oh, that's interesting. So you reckon Toronto is more like Melbourne than Sydney? Than Sydney. I don't think Sydney's very Melbourne at all. Right. Sydney's its own thing. Neither.

And that's not a big, that's not a dig at all. I've got no beef with Sydney. No, it doesn't sound like a beef. Just saying something's different. I think of anything. I think Sydney is its own thing. Well, it's an older city. It's got a very unique vibe.

It's quite an old city. Yeah, that's interesting. I guess. Like the pubs in Sydney. Sydney, very Sydney pubs, the ones that are still open. I think the most unique thing, oh, like, if you drop me blindfolded into a pub and you're like, it could be Sydney or Melbourne, the first thing I do is see if there's any signs for VIPs.

And if there's VIP areas, I know it's probably Sydney. Yep. Yeah. Yeah. And the type of sport on the screen. Oh, true. Yeah, that's a good clue as well. Also, I feel like the Sydney pubs are more rabbit warreny.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Warreny, like there's more little, little nooks and crannies. More tiles too, are they? Yeah, whereas I think Melbourne, weirdly enough, more of an outside area. Yeah, that is funny. That doesn't make any sense at all. I think Melbourne has a nice, they've always got a nice, good, well-laid-out front bar.

Right. Yeah, maybe, do you think because Sydney's bars are just older? Yeah, I think so. Yeah. Because I think of like, you know, like the retreat down the road is pretty wet rabbit warroney. But it does have a huge outdoor area. Yeah, it's got a huge outdoor area and it's got that beautiful front bar. The other thing that Sydney pubs have a lot of is those historic posters of, you know, men surfing at Bondi Beach and rugby league tackles with KB and D.A.

And all those sorts of old-fashioned. They are obsessed by that stuff. Right. That iconography of the Blood House 50s pub with Resches and Tooth Brewery. Tooth brewery. Yeah, when that's... Did you grow up in Sydney? I grew up in Sydney.

You know, just backing, you know, what Ben's saying, they do have this... The Rabbit Warren is part of it, but they also, the VIP, the tiles, the old posters. I love the tiles and an old pub. Yeah. And more, I think poker machines are more prominent in Sydney too. Which is what the VIP managers are, is that right? They usually are, yeah. It's a lot of very...

It's such a funny idea that is a VIP. Yeah. Very, very... I've got tricked by that once. Wait, I'm allowed in? I see. Okay. Oh, this is sad.

I don't want to be in here. Very important pokey's. And then your Brisbane, they're like mega pubs. Yeah, they got their huge pubs. Yeah, sports class. I do love Brisbane as well. And then Perth has like all the pubs are owned by Coles. Oh, right.

So it's like they all look the same. Yeah, that's pretty grim. I think Melbourne suburbs like that as well, the Woolies pubs. Yeah. There's a big sort of fake chains. They don't pretend that they're unique, but they're not. And they've all got the same. QR code menus and they're always, yeah, you're like, they look like it could be

nice and you go in and it feels everything's too perfect. Yeah. There's no vibe or something. Yeah, no soul. It's almost like they've been designed mainly with the benefit of shareholders in mind. Yeah. And then I like a Hobart pub, mind you. Oh, I love a Hobart pub.

Yeah. They're like for the cold. Yes. They're real cozy. I mean, the first time I went there, it felt that felt like the first. so I'm almost like traveling overseas. I'm like, this is what I picture England to be like.

I love it there, yeah. And I couldn't tell you what an Adelaide pub is like. I like around wherever fringes in the city, they're pretty, they got good pubs. How would you describe an Adelaide pub? Well, you've, I mean, we've already realised that I don't notice differences very well.

That's true. Because I'm like, Sydney and Melbourne is so similar and you're like, absolutely not. You know it's an Adelaide pub because no one's in them. Well, and nobody bloody goes out. Am I right? No, it's cheap. There's some really.

good craft beer pubs in the city of Adelaide, in the CBD, which Melbourne doesn't, I don't think there's any good craft beer pubs in the CBD. You have to go to Brunswick for that. Brunswick, the catfish in Fitzroy or just outside of the city, there's lots, but Bodrigi in Abbotsford, but which has got design their front bar to be like that tiled. Yeah, it does. It's like a country. I love it.

Anyway, man. That's up. Cubs around Australia. Let's talk about an old woman with a knife now. I think you're going to be