Who Knew It with Matt Stewart - 212 - Tony Martin, Kirsty Webeck and Ben Russell

Episode Date: October 5, 2026

Who Knew It with Matt Stewart is a comedy game show podcast hosted by Australian comedian Matt Stewart. This episode features guests Tony Martin, Kirsty Webeck and Ben Russell!Support the show via http://patreon.com/dogoonpod and you can submit questions!Check out Matt's new stand up special 'Bad Boy': https://youtu.be/uwco3wBOFSA?si=NL524pxlJGiQsATtGive your feedback in this listener survey: https://forms.gle/WC7bKDCwgXmSQD1QAAnd his previous specials 'Best Man': https://youtu.be/ZgukEPerWZc?si=SW8PttGAB-ly_GF8And 'Live at Stupid Old Studios': https://youtu.be/cWStRpI-BhESee the podcast/Matt live: https://www.mattstewartcomedy.com/Check out Matt's podcast network: https://dogoonpod.com/Theme song by Evan Munro-Smith, Logo by Murray Summerville and edited by Connor Schmidt! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This is a message for people in Brisbane and Bendigo in the year 2026. In the next couple of weeks, I'm coming to town with my good friends, Serenjo, Amarna. We're in Brisbane on the 1st of October, Thursday the 1st. And then we're at the Bendigo Comedy Festival in Bendigo, Victoria, on the 14th of October. That's a Wednesday. Ooh, hump day. Let's have a bit of fun day more like it. And there's also a live, Who knew, with Matt Stewart in Brisbane, too, at the good chat comedy club

on the third of October. So come season on the first and the third of October in Brisbane and the 14th of October in Bendigo. Cannot wait. Welcome to Who New York with Matt Stewart, the show where the guest write the wrong answers. I'm the titular Matt Stewart. Our first guest is an Australasian comedy legend

from the D-Gen, The Late Show, author of multiple books, one half of the arseless chapter, filmmaker and host of the brilliant Sizzletown podcast. It's Tony Martin. That's me, and it's great to be here. Never heard the show. Don't even know how it works.

Yeah, that's really exciting. This is going to be fun. This could be a great strategy, I think. Yep. Our second guest this week is from, thank God you. He is a graduate of the second city in Io in Chicago, as well as being a member of the IEO Herald team ensemble. It's the resident villain of this show.

Ben Russell. Well, I was. I was a member of a long time ago. I'm a lot of clapping, which is real villainous from Ben to not applaud. I refuse to applaud. I'm clapping for one of my favorite podcasts, the grub. Oh, the grub. I don't know if it's, is it.

Is it still going? I, no, it's not, it's not still going, but it's got this weird little cult life underground because it's not even, I can't be bothered paying, I'm not going to pay to get hosted anymore. Right. So people pass it somewhere. Oh, I love that.

Also, it's not even, oh, really. And I occasionally get people who are like, hey, do you have any more Patreon like things? And I'm like, ah, it's somewhere, but I don't know. Tony. One of these days I'll have to release the, the file. Yeah.

You put it up on YouTube or something. I think... The grub files. To me, the grub's a bit mainstream. I'm more of a shark bite podcast. Oh, a bite club. Bike club. Yeah.

He did a podcast all about... About that TV show, but... Where I would call people up in the middle of the night and... I think I might have been the... Recap the episode to them. Right. And then what was the other one? You were losing your mind in lockdown.

The other one was Jumbay pod or something. Yeah, there was the gem... The bush front brushers. far fairy tales. Yeah. How many podcasts do you have? I've got none now. None.

I've got the, I did the right thing. The right. Because you, because you did them all in a chunk and now there's none remaining. Well, there was a period in time when it was like the golden era of podcasts. And now it's,

now there's too many podcasts. And I, I, every now and then I'll get, I'll be like, this is a great idea for a podcast. I'm going to do it. And then I do one episode and I go,

I don't want to do this. Would you, would you say you were going, you were going for quantity of podcast ideas. I think I was just in that classic hyper-focusing ADHD thing where I was like, I've got all these ideas, I'm going to do it. I think what Ben's trying to say is he's medicated now. Yes. What you need is an umbrella.

You just need the Ben Russell podcast every episode. Greg's a different format. I don't want to. I think it's a great idea. I think I'm a bit the same. I think I might do that as well. Just have an extra one you can throw ideas that you have. Miscellaneous.

Yeah, I just don't want to. I'm going to do that as well. And mine's going to be called the Matt Stewart podcast unfortunately. It's going to be called the Matt Stewart and Ben Russell podcast. And it's just going to be me doing every idea I've ever had. Sure. I love that because that would save me doing it. And our final guest this week has a bunch of shows coming up on the East Coast of Australia this October and November,

including a special taping at the Toffin Town in Melbourne on the 22nd of October. It's Kirsty Webeck. Yes. Hello there. Kirsty Webeck of the Matt Stewart and Ben Russell podcast, of course. Aside from that one, do you not have any other podcasts at all? No, not currently. Also not currently.

I've done ones in the past. I have. But I don't need to have one because I just jeopardise the Do Go On podcast World's podcasts. You jeopardise them. I do. I jeopardise them. I monopolise them. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah. I am not one of the co-hosts on Do Go On, but you've been to thinking I am. The dream has been like both of you. you are just regular guests on podcast. I reckon that's a dream. It's a dream. We don't have to worry about many of the stuff apart from rocking up.

It's so good. Yeah, I agree. We rock up and we just get all the fame and fortune. Yeah. Yeah. And you don't have to worry about accidentally erasing what you've recorded. Oh, yeah. Exactly.

For example. Yeah. For example. Oh, is that, this is not recording? Is that we? Man, I'm very paranoid about that. We'd be going to catch you this early, though. Yes.

Yes. Because I'm not doing this again. Oh, I was. I'm about to leave. We've only done the intro and I'm checking out. In 15 minutes. All right. So, Tony, mainly for you.

This is how the show works. I ask a relatively obscure trivia question. Our contestants have to write a convincing fake answer. I then read out their answer as well as a real one. And I have to guess which one is correct. Right. And then usually, for the most part, the answers are a little bit silly. So you don't have to be too straight about it.

They're like the real answer. Anyway, the first question comes from listener, Jomo Kigotho. Joe Giroga Githo in Sweden. Host of the Jomo Kogotho podcast. That's right. Jomo Gagotho. It's me and Jomo that actually...

It is now. Jomo says apparently his town of Canvster translates to Knife Town, which is sick. I reckon anyway, Jomo's question is, what does the Kenyan term Kichwa Maji mean? Kichwa Magi, maybe. Kichwa Magi. What does that mean? So, maybe a literal translation and how it's used. So you've just got to come up with a, you know,

and while you're doing that writing, I'll explain how the scoring works. You get one point if your fake answer is guessed by the other contestant. And another point, if you correctly guess the answer. And by the way, I'm also playing as the house. I've put into my own fake answers for each question. With help of the question, right. And we get a point for each one of those that I guess choose.

So each of us can go up to three points per round. which apparently it all favors the house of it. So to give their guests some help, they get triple points in the final round while the house does not. Most of our questions, by the way, come from our great Patreon supporters. If you want to submit a question,

sign up on any level by Patreon.com slash dugon pod, which is linked in the show notes. And by the way, if you've submitted a question previously and you haven't had it read out in a while, feel free to damn me on Patreon or wherever and I'll sort you out. All right, the answers are in. for question number one. What does the Kenyan term

Kichwa Magi mean? It tastes weird, eat it fast. Move your car. Means that you've parked in a short term parking space. Option three, it means magical keys.

A term to describe someone who seems to breeze through life as if they have a magical set of keys. Literally translates as waterhead, meaning you're so dumb that your head must be full of water instead of brains. Good luck on your journey. It's said to anyone setting out on a trip to bring them good luck and good health along the way.

Or finally, big dick freak. Probably doesn't need explaining, but it's a negative take on the American idea of big dick energy. All right, Kirstie, what do you think? I can give them to you quickly again. Please do. If it tastes weird, eat it fast. Move your car. magical keys

Waterhead Good luck on your journey Or big dick freak Oh Big Dick Big Dick freak is so good I think that is a podcast I'm like

Yeah It's all four of us As new podcast Yeah You do have big dick energy Thursday Thank you mate Thank you for saying that

Yeah And that is a compliment That is a compliment. Yeah. Where I come from. Yeah. Texas. I appreciate you saying that.

You got big BDE. Yeah, thank you, mate. And it's chronic and terminal. It. It is. It is. Can the national power grid be powered by big energy? Oh, that would be a reply.

If we could plug you into the power grid, that would solve. Instead of. That could solve Adelaide's power troubles. Yes. You know, nuclear people are nervous about nuclear. The wind doesn't blow every day. The sun doesn't shine, but big dick energy. I'm not saying it's possible, but I am saying I'm getting the next flight to Adelaide.

Plug in. Plug in and play. Jack into the system. BHP replaced by BDE. Okay, I'm going to quickly plug into the power grid if that's okay. And I think I'm going to lock in the magic key. Magic keys. all right, locked in.

Can I have them again because it's been so long? Taste weird. Move your car, magical keys, waterhead, good luck on your journey, big dick freak. What's the magic keys again? Could you give me that? A term to describe someone who seems to breeze through life like they've got a magical set of keys. Like imagine applying it to me. Kiswamagi.

I get it. Jingling keys. Jingling, jingling. And what's the... What is the waterhead? Waterhead. It's basically saying someone's stupid. They got water where brains should be.

Yeah, right. Just slopping around. Yeah, I'll go that one. Yeah, all right. Flop. Does water flop? I think it slops? It's sloppers.

It's going to be more viscous. I think water can slop. It can't. It's sloshes. It's floshes. Thank you, Tony. Splashes and sloshes. It's splashes and sloshes.

It needs to be visc. If your water is sloping around, there's like, it's stuff in it's the wrong consistency I'm willing to consider it is Like a mop and bucket But maybe that's because it's sloshing It's sloshing, Matt It's definitely sloshing

It's not slopping Are you saying Slopping? I am and this is the wrong time To bring up my list All right Tony And you can pick the same as Em Well I think it's the one about

Good luck on your journey Surely that seems like the only sensible one. Well, you don't always go and say it's quite sensible. Although that could be a double bluff that someone's, someone's,

I think it's just a bluff. It feels like a triple bluff to me actually. Yeah, right. Bluff on a bluff and a bluff. Wow. Back to where you began. All right,

here's the answers. If it tastes weird, eat it fast, I was Ben Russell. Yeah, well, you fucked it up, didn't you? Well,

I ran it exactly as written. No, you said, it tastes weird, eat faster. You said it like you were a caveman. This is on tape. You absolute. Connor, can you let me know?

And if I did mock it up, let me give it to your clean and you can put this in later. No, don't do it, Conno. I didn't notice a grammatical issue. I just thought the answer itself was on the nose. I did. I was sure you were the big dick energy one, but okay. No, you got that wrong, Tony. Move your car.

That was Tony. Because I'm very aware that Kirsty is in a, I think in a two hour. I'm in a two hour. And a lot of the time on the two hours was wasted. Yes. People explaining to me how this show works. Big Dick Freak. That was Jomo, the question writer.

Nearly threw a soft descent, Jomo. Good luck on your journey. Tony went for that. That was Kirsty. Was that you? Oh, brilliant. The only sensible one. Okay, that's how this works.

Right. Right, okay. Kirsty went for magical keys. That was also Joe. Jomo? Jomo. No, Jomo's in your head.

Does that mean waterhead is the right ass? And that means, Ben, it's correct. It is waterhead. Really? So that's a Kenyan insult. That's a Kenyan insult. Is that where would that, what would be the Australian equivalent of waterhead? Shit for brains.

It's just a very watery shit. Yeah. That would slosh. That would slosh. That would slosh. If his diarrhea, it could slops. That would slops. Wow.

That's how this works. So he says, Jomo says the term is commonly used for anyone who did something stupid or was just annoying. Mostly when people swear in Kenya, we just use English. But this is my go-to answer when people ask for Kenyan swear words. Right.

I like it. All right. So that means, Kirstie, everyone but Tony scored a point in the first round. What? Suck shit, Tony Martin. But in Tony's the first. he has his finger on the pulse with my parking situation.

And that's all I care about. There's a lot of confusion going on with Matt's phone, but it's good. We're now. All right. Question of, oh, yeah, if the listeners don't know, Tony's using a smartphone for the first time. The first ever time. This is a real scoop. And Matt has got it set so that it goes to sleep every 45 seconds.

Well, Tony, I think, I mean, I'm a couple steps ahead of you, but I don't know how to turn that feature off on the front. Surely there's a... There would be a way. A couple of neophytes. Yeah. It's a couple of waterheads over here trying to work out how to use a phone. Question two comes from Tim Green from Surrey in the UK.

And the question is, what is the common name for the animal, Trageluffus, Uri-Sieris? He's just got to come up with a common name for an animal. It doesn't really worry about the Latin version of it. It's just to be specific. Just come up with a make up a name of a species of animal. Just the common name. Don't have to describe it, Tony, just the name. What kind of person is asking for Kenyan swear words?

I think he must be a Kenyan man living in Sweden. Yeah, right. But it does still seem like a... I love... What an icebreaker. I mean, that's what you do, right? The answer is the question number two, what is the common name for the animal,

Tragalephas Uri-Sieris? Here are your options. Common Garden Vole. Pink-eared desert hopper. bird eating spider red smirking beaver mountain bongo or smash mouth

all right Ben smash mouth smash mouth hey now you're rock star get to show one is that that that's their yeah is that where they got their name they got their name from the animal

I think that's just what I think that's their Latin name right yeah yeah for the band so it can be an animal or band Or band. I mean, this is specifically an animal, but maybe this word is... What was the second last one?

Maybe they're named after the animal. Mountain bongo. Mountain bongo. Mm. I like that. I don't know what a bongo is. As a brushfire boy. As a brush fire boy, I enjoy a bongo.

Yeah. You taught me what jumbay meant. Jembe? Jembe. Well, you didn't teach me that well. Yeah. It's like a kind of bongo. Yeah, I think it is.

It's a drum. He played. He used to, one of his niche podcasts, it would be him playing on his is gem bro. Maybe you're a beat poetry or something? It was, no, it was not beat poetry,

but it was, it was a satire for the brush fire. You say that now. I liked it sincerely. I thought it was. Yeah. I think you're saying that

to protect yourself. Like, you're saying it's a satire in case. I don't need to protect myself. I can fight. I'm strong. I don't need to hide behind a jambi. I'm strong.

I'm strong as hell, dude. All right, Ben, what do you reckon? Can you give it to me again one, please? Common Gun,

Vole, pink-eared desert hopper, bird-eating spider, red smoking beaver, mountain bongo or smash-mouth. Hey, now. Common garden, gnome. Vole. Nome. Commonal garden. Desert fairy in the garden. A little red boy.

Bongo. Can you do these in a Kenyan accent? No. Okay. I'm going to go now. I'm just going to go bongo because it doesn't matter and I can't tell. Okay, locked in. Ben, everything matters.

I'm going for the vol. The vol. I'm going full vol. It's going full vol. That's a great. I don't really know what a vol is. It's a great name for an animal. It's like a mole type thing.

Oh, right. It's more. It's a sting of a mole. Yeah. It's like a mole but cooler. Yeah, right. VIP mole. It gets moved to the front of the queue.

What do you think, Kirstie? I want to preface this by saying that respectful comments only, please. I'm going for the beavers. Okay, locked in. Yeah, that's better. No comments. Thank you, Ben. Oh, look at your mouth.

You are desperate. Yeah. Yeah, Kersh me. I can't hold back. I've got to go for the boover joke. Yeah. Fuck it. Yeah, I'll wreck it.

Yeah, you fucking. If you're listening to this and not viewing this, you need to know that Penn Russell has spontaneously combusted. You fucking, because, um, because you've, you. All right, these are the answers. Smash mouth, that was Tim, the question writer. Ooh. The bird eating spider was Tony.

The pink-eared desert hopper was Kirsty. Very good, by the way. I can't believe no one got it. Now, Tony went for the Common Garden foal. That was Ben Russell. Was it really? Well done, Ben. That nearly got me as well.

Thank you. Just fold me. Wow. You just got bold, dude. Curse who went for the red smoking beaver. I'm afraid that was the house. That means Ben Russell is correct. This is the Mountain Bongo.

Really? Two for two, baby. This is rigged. This guy's cheating. And this is pure coincidental, but the Mountain Bongo is Kenyon. That's crazy. I didn't realize until after I put the questions together. No, that's a Kenyan-themed episode.

That's part of the rigging. That's evidence. So the key to this show is the answers are all Kenya. All Kenyan. Think Kenyon and you're halfway there. Anything you know about Kenya, chuck it in. So Ben scores two points out round. All right, question three comes from Dominic O'Kelly from Manley in Sydney.

And the question is, what is the pop culture-themed pun name of a Vietnamese restaurant in Tokyo? It's a lot going on there. It's a Vietnamese restaurant in Tokyo. It's a real one. It's a real one. You make up a fake one, but there is a real one. Don't fall for any traps. It's like, you know, like all those Thai ones, like, I can't think of a single one.

There's all those Thai restaurant. There was one, yeah, I think it was in Malvern, which was called Bow Thai. Right. But it was B-E-O-B-E-A-U, so it was a double pun. Oh. It was bow as in French, Thai, T-H-A-I. It's a lock. And I imagine they, no one went in because I weren't confused as what was on offer.

So what, can you give it, what's the question? The question is you just got to come up with a Vietnamese restaurant pun name. Okay. It's in Tokyo, but that's not really relevant. That's just to be more specific about the correct one. While you're writing your answers, I let the audience know a bit more about the mountain bongos. Tim Rites, I randomly came across this rare species and a good news piece I saw online. Here's a snippet from the article on nature.com.

For years, conservationists feared that Kenyans mountain bongos survived only in the Abadare Mountains. Now trail cameras in the Maasau Mau forest have revealed a small breeding population of the critically endangered antelope, offering fresh hope for the species' future. Realising as I'm reading this, so I don't know how to pronounce some of these words. The bongos in the Maasai Mao are the most important population that have, or, that we have on the globe genetically, wow, says Oscar Dyer, operations director at the Mountain Bongo Project. Finding those bongos was amazing. These are beautiful animals too, can I tell you.

Have look at these, Tony. Look at those stripes. That's a mountain bongo. That's fully striped. Yeah, that's fully striped. That's a beauty. That's a beauty. That's a little ripper.

It's either, or is it just being graffiti by kids? They're out of control. Go on list to this. All those waterheads. It's turn it into a zebra. See how it likes that. The answers are in for question number three. What is the pun name of a Vietnamese restaurant in Tokyo?

Here are options. Time of my life. Time's spelled like the spice or the herb. Okay. Tokyo chowman, chal mean. Stan Barn me. That's good. That's good.

That's a good one. Furmo. Fo-mo. Fomo. Fomo. It's good. Saigon bye-by-byes. Or Requiem, foe, a dream.

Okay, so you got Time of My Life, Tokyo Chowmin, Stan Ban Me, Fon, Foy-Moh, Sygon-bye-bys, or Requiem for a Dream. All right, Tony, what do you reckon? Requiem for what? Oh, foe a dream. I do like that, but I'm going to go with the first one you said. Time of my life? I'm going to go with that. All right, locked in.

Kirstie. I've forgotten the one that I wanted. Tokyo Chowman, Stan Barnme, FOMO, Saigon, bye, Bires, Requiem, Fouadream, Fura dream. It's actually pronounced Requiem Fruoradream. Furn. They're constantly having to say that when people are booking. Yes. Come on.

Is it parking space? Ben, I can't concentrate with you. Come on, you can do it. Come on. Ben. Come on, Lebeck. Stop bullying me. Come on.

Oh, it's, it's, um, it's, oh, oh, no. Just say Requiem for a dream. I don't want to. And the writer of that would say that. I'm, I. All right. Tokyo Chowman, Stan Barn, Me, Fomo, Sygon, bye-byes. And then Requiem for a dream.

What, what? I don't understand. stand the Saigon by-byes one? Saigon is a city. Yeah, well, it was a city. Now it's Hoechamund City, isn't it? Yeah. So it's an old name for Hoceman City.

Yeah. And gone by-byes is like gone nine-nyes. There's like a baby talk way of saying goodbye. Oh, Saigon bye-bibon bye-bys. Okay. Gone by-bys. That's pretty neat. I think it, I mean, seeing it written down or like on a sign outside of a restaurant.

Makes, yeah. The idea is making me hungry. To me, it makes more sense than time. Okay. Yeah, time feels like a weird one to associate with Vietnamese to me. They use time, I guess. Yeah, but would we emphasize it? Yeah.

Like, basil. Probably. That's what I tell you. Yeah. Don't they put basil in the fur? No, they put time. Oh, no, it's not made for time. They do put time, yeah.

It is a known ingredient in fur. I like the idea of just them calling a basil of my life. And you've really got to think about it together. Yeah. Yeah, and then you've got to work backwards and realize it's a mistake. It's more coriander, isn't it? And they love the coriander? Oh, Coriander.

See, that would have been a good one to get the word coriander in there. Yeah. They love coriander in the floor. I love the coriander too. Who does it? A lot of people. Let's go Stan Bunmey. Racist.

I don't think it is that, but I just, I need to look. Why don't you think it is that? It's too good. I think it's too dated. Okay. I love it, but I think it's too dated. I think if you were making, you know, a hip-hop and happening restaurant with a pop culture reference in Tokyo, you wouldn't go for like a reference from the 80s.

Yeah, yeah, okay. Can you give them one more time? Time of my life. Tokyo Chalman, Stan Bar and Me, Fomo, Saigon, bye-bys or Requiem for a Dream? I'm going to get a Requiem for a Dream. Locked in. And did you sound like that. Even though I think it's Tony's because he loves movies.

He's a, He's a, Tony loves movies. That's why I think he's his standbun me. I see there's two movie references. Do you want to stick with what you went for?

Yeah, yeah, I am. I'm just going to, all right. Even though we know that Basil is actually what's used to. No,

the wrongness. The wrongness is just what might be correct. All right. Exactly. Who wrote the answers. Tokyo charm, man, that was Tony. That was any,

because I thought you had to combine Vietnam and Tokyo. So I was thinking of Ho Chi men and then replacing the hoe with Tokyo. I think if anything, it was too good for these two. That's all. Too overcooked. It was overcooked for a couple of waterheads.

We needed some coriander. Fomo, that was Kirsty. That was good. It was actually good. I nearly picked that one. Thank you, mate. I appreciate you for saying that. Saigon, bye-byes.

That was Ben. Hello. Was my explanation right? It was perfect. Now, Ben went for Requiem for a dream. I'm afraid that was the house. Oh, fuck. Now, time of my life, Tony went for that.

I'm afraid that was Dominic, the questioner right, okay, the head. Thanks, Dominic. And that means Kirsty's correct. It's stand bar on me. Damn it. Wow. Against my better instinct. Yeah.

You accidentally nailed it. And I've also delivered a scathing critique on why the restaurant shouldn't be called that. I really hope they're not listening because that's going to be hard to swallow. Well, I'm going to, in advance, I'm going to write an apology. And if they reach out, could you please forward the apology on it. Yeah, okay, can do. Yeah. And that just in the head office of that restaurant.

And there's an email link to podcast episode. Yeah. Fast forward to the only two minutes. Yeah. And they're livid. They're like, I hope she got a parking ticket. Thai restaurants really have cornered the market on puns for restaurants. So I feel like the Thai have, they got there first.

Yeah. It's just not, it doesn't lend itself as much. So much so that when Dominic wrote the question and he even said which of these is a real tie, pun, restaurant name. And I'm like, darn me, he's not Thai, is it? Yeah. He's like, that's how much they're linked together. Yeah, they are linked. All right.

At the halfway mark, the scores are Tony at the score, Curseye on two, Ben on three, but out in front on four points. It's the house. Oh, come on, guys. We can't let the house win. Question four. If you don't get a point, you have to pants. You have to drop your pants You have to run around the table

Like a snooker Yeah I'm afraid So One of those Matt would have told you that Before booking you though Yeah

I'm really I'm really Strict on that Yeah Yeah There's been a lot of complaints Which is why we're glad There's no HR department

There's a lot of plans You're just on the floor I call the BIN The HR department I screw up Complaints ago Filing this one The HR

It's very fun Yeah It would be fun Question number four comes from Jacob Rowe from Verwood in the UK, and the question is, what stage name did rapper Lil Wayne originally go by? What stage name did rapper Lil Wayne originally go by? While you're writing your answers, here's a little more info about the Stan Barn Me.

Dominic shared a review of the restaurant from Farad Hamka, which gave it five stars saying, I love the grit they exude by exclaiming that they have Vietnamese, but not Vietnamese. Instead, this is a place for you to seek authentic Vietnamese food. Hang on. Instead, this isn't a place for you to seek authentic Vietnamese food. You'll instead get decent Japanese food,

which is crafted by someone who understands Vietnamese flavors and possesses enough appreciation of them to create something utterly different. Hey, while you're still writing your answers, let's go for a quick break. All right, we're back and the answers are in. So here's question four, what stage name? did rapper Lil Wayne originally go by

Lil Doggy Wolf Flat Cap Harry Lil Weeny Shrimp Daddy Average-sized Wayne Or Kind Michael These are Kirstie was to you

A kind Michael A kind Michael Kind Michael These are all badass I reckon I love They are, full gangster. Lil Doggy Woof,

flat cap Harry, Lil Weeny, shrimp daddy, average-sized Wayne or Kind Michael. I don't want to start like a, you know,

a rumor, but I've got a gut feeling that kind Michael killed Tupac. With kindness. With kindness. Kill him a kindness. Cause of death,

kindness. Treat him keen. Keep a mean. I'm going to go for Lil Weenie. Little weeny. All right. I'm going to go for a little doggy wolf. Okay.

Because there was a lot, there was, you know, around the era of a little bow wow. Mm-hmm. You know, now he's just bow wow. Right. Yeah. He grew up to be bowen. They grew up to be bow wow. They do grow up so fast.

You know, you know, you either die a little bow wow. Or you grow up to be a bow wow. But so, like, Lil Wayne's going to grow up to be Wayne. He's, I'd say that he already is Wayne. He's Wayne. Devastating. It's not a good rap name, is it? No, just Wayne.

I think in general, Wayne is probably one of the worst names out there. I think I used to think that now. I think it's fantastic. Someone about it. It's up there with like the Keith. So I love that, Bruce. So you grew up to be a fan of Wayne. I love Wayne.

Big Wayne fan. Big Wayne fan. I prefer fountains of Wayne. Oh, yeah. I like fountain. You like your, Wayne's wet. I like Stacey's mom.

Yeah. She's got it going on. I agree. She's all I want and I've waited for so long. Yes. It can't be little weenie. Did someone already say little ween? Oh, yeah.

They're all, the remaining ones are all ludicrous. So I, that's another. That's different. The remaining one, if you don't want to go to one of the littles, you got flat cap Harry,

shrimp daddy, average sized Wayne and kind Michael. I mean, I'm just going to have to say shrimp daddy. Okay. Because it's ridiculous, but it's the least ridiculous

of the four remaining answers. Awesome. All right. Here's the right. The answers. Kind Michael, that was Ben Russell. He's really happy.

Kind Michael. And now it's time for Kind Michael. It was a do-up kid or something. It just feels like it. Now it's time for bitches, guns and money by Kind Michael.

Flat Cap Harry. That was Tony. Yeah. I knew that with Tony. Sounds like a Statham character maybe. Tony Martin trying to be bad ass. Flat Cap Harry. I thought it would be so ridiculous that someone would.

I thought it would think maybe it's real. The, yeah, Tony does a great Statham on Sizzletown. Or no, is it genuinely Statham calling it? It was just Statham. But then I, because no one else was doing Statham. And then about five years in, Nick Kroll. is doing is now doing statham. So I've now interviewed my statham about what he thinks of Nick Quill's impression.

And then he says, when people try and do me, I think they sound more like Ray Winston, which is what Sam Pang says about my impression of Statham. Ray Wynaston. Ray Wynaston. So it's become very meta. Like it. Where is that? Oh, that's very good.

Too me. I'm roasting. I think Sizzletown is like it started out meta. So it was always going to be. It's gone up its own ass. That's what the problem with it. Listeners who don't know, it's a late-night talkback podcast,

where Tony voices everyone apart from the producer, who's a real producer. Yeah. And there are, there's some great characters. There's some very bad ones as well. You've got to have hills and valleys, you know? Yes.

What else do we have? Average-sized Wayne, that was the house. All right, Ben went for a little doggy wolf. That was Kirsty Webeck. You're welcome. Thank you, Ben. Kirstie went for Lil Weaney.

That was Jacob, okay the house, the question writer. Jacob, you mad, doc. And that means Tony is on the board with shrimp daddy. That is correct, Shrimp Daddy. Shrimp Daddy. It's terrible. I mean, you can see why he changed it.

Oh, absolutely. Shrimp Daddy. That's one of the funniest things I've heard in a while. Shrimp Daddy. Shrimp Daddy and where the crawled daddy is saying. All right, question five comes from Timmers from Rockville in Maryland and the question goes something like this. In late 2021, friends Dan and Josh started a niche podcast.

What was it called and what was it about? So just two friends, Dan and Josh started a podcast in 2021. What's the name of the niche podcast? And just a sentence describing what it's about. Okay. The Matt Stewart and Ben Russell podcast. No, no, niche. That's very mainstream.

I think that's got too broad of an appeal. while they're writing their answers. Here's some more info about, what was his name? Shrimp Daddy. Jacob lists some other stage names of Little Wayne. He's got heaps apparently, but I'm not going to burn them here. I'm encouraging Jacob to submit for further questions. Instead, I'm going to read a couple of paragraphs from Hip Hop Hero,

a hip-hop website. And B, Isaacson writes, Lil Wayne has been such a key player on the hip-hop scene this century. It would be forgiven to assume we know everything there is to know about him. Born Dwayne Michael Carter Jr. in New Orleans. Oh my God, his middle name's Michael Ben. Kind Michael is. I was so close.

You were so close. My middle names, I can't say. That's identity. Yeah, you don't want to do that. No. Because I'm sure AI is already sweeping through podcasts to collect mothers maiden names and stuff like. Yeah. I don't use my mother's maiden name because it's out there already.

She goes by. Right. It's interesting. His real birth name's also Dwayne, not Wayne. Anyway, Lil Wayne was a child prodigy. He was a music label Cash Money Records youngest member at age just 11. What can you tell the people about Shrimp Daddy, the rapper was asked in an interview with Nardwa. Pimp Daddy was a cash money artist and he used to have a song out called Gotts to Be Real.

It was a real big song, Lil Wayne began to explain. Now, this guy, Pimp Daddy, was such a classic in New Orleans and such a hit that my actual first rap name was Shrimp Daddy. And I named it because I was short like a shrimp and I wanted to be like this guy right here, Pimp Daddy. Unfortunately, no old Shrimp Daddy material seems to exist to this day. Luckily, there's enough Lil Wayne material to get through in this decade, in his decades-long career.

All right. Answering for question number five. in late 2021 friends Dan and Josh started a niche podcast. What was it called? What was it about? Dan and Josh dig a hole. A podcast where best friends Dan and Josh dig a hole in their backyard. The podcast is still going and the hole is now incredibly deep.

Option two. Sea monkey sessions. Dan and Josh had a sea monkey, save monkeys as children and deep dived in all things. Sea monkey. Option three. Blue collar Bitcoin. Two firefighters with a passion for Bitcoin. economics and philosophy.

Wait, what year was this started? 2021. Okay. Option four, Dan and Josh's excellent adventure. They try to watch every 80s movie. Option 5. Making true crime,

a podcast where the hosts commit a new true crime every week. Or finally, Sozzletown. Dan and Josh are fans of Sizzletown. Each week, they get drunk and recap the latest episode. All right. Ben, what do you reckon?

I just went, did not? Did you? I think Kirsty just went. Did you go first? Kirsty went with a little weeny and you went a little doggy wolf. Yeah, you're right. You're right. Sorry.

Sorry. I thought you meant I'd already locked my answer in for this round and I was like, what? No, no. See what Ben, Ben, was he accusing you before of taking it too seriously? Now, Ben's like, it's actually not my co-cuitous thing. I would never accuse you. Yeah, Ben's actually making me feel uncomfortable. Yeah, well, that's just me.

That's my smell. Can you give them to me, please? Dan and Josh dig a hole. Sea monkey sessions. Sea monkey. Blue collar Bitcoin. No. Dan and Josh's excellent adventure.

Making true crime or Sozzletown. For Sozzletown, they would have to know that you were on. Yeah, it doesn't work out. It doesn't work out. Well, they. they submit it, I choose which questions are used. Yeah, but they don't know that Tony's on. Yeah, that would be an amazing foot.

On this episode. I've never been on it before. I've got a big batch of questions, you know. Oh, you could. Yeah, right. I select them. Sozeltan's not bad. The house is trying to get you to lock that in.

I'm thinking of doing it. If that is not the correct answer, I'm thinking of doing it. Tony will be playing his cards close to his chest because you'd think he'd know if it existed. Yeah. That's true. Or what if I'm the person? who wrote it. True.

Well, that would make you, that's very self-indulgent. It's very self-indulgent, but then is that why people would not suspect it? Now I think we're getting into triple bluff territory. Oh my gosh. My head's spitting there's so much bluffing going on. Your car is so getting ticketed. I don't like, the ones I don't like Bitcoin, I'm suss on Sozzle Town. What was the one before Sozell?

Making true crime. Making true crime. Dan and Josh's excellent picture. That's crazy enough that it could be it. excellent adventure excellent adventure yeah I feel like that's not

it's too plain sea monkey sessions sea monkey sessions is good dig a hole dig a hole could definitely be a podcast either someone of if it's not a podcast

then it should be there's a woman on my algorithms and she's just digging I love that one she was so good she's just digging so deep she's an engineer and she's

I don't know how she's so dig down I don't know what she's doing she doesn't know she just digging down, but she's building like a ladder. She's like a road, like the stairs. She's like pouring concrete. Yeah, she's making a big tunnel.

It's hectic. Yeah. Someone goes. Is it on her property or is it? Yeah, I think so. I think she's just digging straight down. And she hasn't divulged. I don't think she's not.

I don't know if it's real or not. Yeah. But I love the idea of doing something like absolutely bonkers and just like, just remaining mum on like what the purpose is. Yes. Just me. Everyone just follow me if you want to see me dig deeper. Yeah.

I'm going to go see Monk. Sea monkeys. Sea monkey, sea, sea, sea monkey do. Okay. Oh, you just punched up the title. Can you go the same person? Yeah, yeah. I'm, sea monkeys to me sounds like it's the one. All right.

Locked in. Kirsty, you can go sea monkeys or you can go your own way? You can go your own way. We're back on triple M. That was beautiful. Next stop, the little river band. Also, it's time for the secret sound. Excuse me, now it's trying to the secret secret.

Now that's good stuff. Highbrow as always. Okay, all right. Well, if it. Okay, I'm down to sea monkeys and dig a hole. No one's done dig a hole. I'm doing dig a hole. Dig a hole.

All right. Kirstie. He's the wrote the answers. Sozzletown, that was the house. I think it's a fun idea. I might do it on Ben's podcast feed. On the Benmaster show, we'll do Sozzled town every now. I don't drink, for sure.

It means I'll be on. I'll be the sozzled one. Well, I'll have to have something. Yeah, you can be sozzled by other drugs that I do at the moment is like occasionally I'll do like some powerful. Hesilisitian. Yeah, that sounds pretty sozzled. That could be good for a podcast. I don't know if that's good for a podcast.

I don't know if anyone's done that. The drunk one, I know the guy's. Guy Montgomery and Tim Bat. They did a drunk episode of the worst idea of the whole time. It's really good. Okay, that feels like a one way to deal with that. They're watching grown-ups too. Every day.

Once a week. Every day. Imagine every day. It might as it was every day. It was banned by the Geneva Convention. It's every week for a year. And what I love about that podcast is it's only like five or six episodes in where you can tell they realize they've made a huge mistake.

It's not as funny right here. And then there's a long enough gap between seasons for them to go, no, it was fun, wasn't it? You start getting nostalgic about it? Oh no, it wasn't five episodes. Why do we do this? Making true crime, that was Timmer's, the question writer. Dan and Josh's excellent adventure, that was Tony.

Yeah, and you were right, it is too playing. I thought that was, that was why I thought it might be convincing. It almost got me, to be honest with you. So please don't be so hard on yourself. I feel like that is like a hundred podcast. Exactly. Maybe. Yeah, it just needed that they, and they'd record inside a phone booth or whatever.

It was excellent adventure. Yeah, I should have gone with bogus journey. Oh. Kirsty went for Dan and Josh dig a hole. That was Ben. And Ben and Tony went for Sea Monkey Business. That was Kirsty. Oh!

So it's a Bitcoin. That means the correct answer is blue-collar Bitcoin. Oh, really? Isn't that just such a funny? More like boo collars with a passion for Bitcoin, economics and philosophy. You know what, up until that point I like Dan and Josh, but now I'm not a big fan. It's not, apparently it's stopped after 155 episodes. Oh.

What? I can't believe it. I can't believe they sustained it for that many episodes. Yeah, when you said apparently it stopped after, like, I thought that was going to be followed with like seven episodes, but 155 is an image. Yeah. All right, we go to the final episode and things are tired. A lot tighter than they were.

Tony's on one, Ben's on four, but out in front, Kirstie and the house on five points a piece. But this final rounds with triple points. Oh,

still truly anyone's game. Triple points for a triple bluff. And we always finish with a synopsis. It used to always be a movie, but I'm too nervous about Tony knowing every movie ever written. Yeah.

I know Alexei Ptollipolis. He's also... I was listening to him on the way here on a podcast. Yeah, see. Well, he knows. He really knows. He really knows.

I normally message. when he's on this old message, Camp James, say, do you think Alexi'll have heard of this? Yes. But this time, instead, we're doing a comic book synopsis. All right. So the final question comes from Peter Robinson from Le Duk in Canada. And the question is,

in 2011, Matthew Hess created a superhero comic book as a way to bring attention to a certain issue. What was the comic book called and what was its story? 2011 this guy Matthew Hess wrote a comic book but it was like a comic book with a message I was trying to bring attention to a certain issue what was the comic book called

and what was what was a brief synopsis of the story probably you know longer answer but you know three four sentences something like that Tony and while you're writing your answers here's a bit more info about blue collar Bitcoin

please this is according to Timmers the question right says their description is, our names are Josh and Dan. The two of us are career firefighters slash paramedics, close friends and lifelong students of economics and finance. We each discovered Bitcoin in 2017.

And this protocol has captivated us more and more with each passing year. In 2022, we decided to take our conversations from the firehouse to the internet. They then have a disclaimer which reads, The information in the blue-collar Bitcoin podcast episodes and content is based on hypothetical assumptions and is intended for illustrative purposes only. Past performance does not guarantee future results. This video is provided for entertainment purposes only. The information contained herein represents temporary changing views and subjective impressions and opinions regarding the inherently uncertain and unpredictable issues discussed.

The reader user and or viewer must not assume that these contents are accurate, complete, timely or up to date. Timmer says this feels like a scam. But I think that's maybe a pretty standard disclaimer. Maybe not. Maybe it was a scam. Maybe that's why they're done now. I hope that Dan and Josh are listening and they go on to dig a hole, talk sea monkeys, watch 80s movies, start doing true crimes. Or watch Recap Sizzletown drunk.

I think. I do want to hear that idea. You do. Like some of your characters are a little suzzle. sounding. Yeah, I have been fairly... It's recorded very late at night

let's just say that. All right, the final question. Answers are in. In 2011, Matthew Hasker had a superhero comic book as a way to bring attention to a certain issue. What was the comic book called and what was its story? Here are your options.

It's only one house option in this one too. So you've got five choices. Triple points up for grabs. The Green Warrior. The year is 2032. Climate emergencies have become commonplace and global governments are doing nothing to slow climate change down.

The Green Warrior emerges seemingly from nowhere and takes matters into their own hands, holding corporations and the powers that be to account in ways they simply cannot ignore. It's option one, option two. Straight white male. Greg Duncan is sick of straight white men's negative reputation. He creates the superhero the white knight

and uses the power of the patriarchy to combat injustice and fight for the rights of others. Option 3. Foreskin Man. Miles Hastwick, a former corporate scientist, is adamantly against the practice of circumcision. Hasteman comes up with the alter ego of Foreskin Man to fight against practitioners of circumcision

and the pro-circumcision lobby whom he feels have gained too much power through all the well-connected doctors and lawyers. All right. It's option three, option four. Frackman. Town planner Jacob Bellin falls into a cave

and a fracking accident gives him the power to frack any body of land unfortunately his powers are unreliable and serve only to draw attention to the dangers of fracking Well finally The Pink Walnut

After turning 40 Lionel's prostate develops superpowers He'll shoot super strong cum to fight crime Lionel takes to the streets To defend the vulnerable but every time he uses his powers, he increases his chance of prostate cancer.

All right, Tony, do you have any of these jumping out of here? You got the Green Warrior. I love that song, the Pink Walnut. Pink Walnut. I'm going to be one. So you got Green Warrior, straight white male, a lot of colors here.

Foreskin Man, Frack Man, or the Pink Walnut. I'm guessing. Ben was the pink walnut. Because he's got the jingle ready to go. So surely the Green Warrior is the only sensible one unless Kirsty wee back. You don't want to go for a sensible

though. Yeah. And how dare you? I am going to go with sensible. Sensible? Go on. You're not going to get it. Yeah. It should be around where you have to choose like which one's not Ben Russell.

Because there's a pink Orner on this one and then the four-skin one as well. Yeah. Could be either one of those. Those fingers all over those. Yeah. They've both frequent Ben Russell. I got my fingers all over your prostate.

So the new podcast is what's not been? Yes. My fingers are all over your prostate and your four skin. That's very uncomfortable. I can't sit down. I'm getting in there. So there's a green warrior.

there's the pink walnut, there's full skin man. Pink moanette. Yes. And do you do the white knife? This is a bit of a fracker. The white night. Straight white male. Straight white male.

Just sit another mic if you don't mind, Kirsty. Well, no, I'm, I was relaxing. Mike adjacent. Stop telling women what to do. Sorry. Well, I think we all know that now the straight white male one. Thank you. It was definitely written by Matt Stewart's the house.

Well, I just thought I could help you out. Do you want me to teach you about Mike? Herbony. Her choice. Yeah, my mic, my choice. Hey, also, you were right to say that because I don't know why, but I was just reclining next to the microphone. Well, no, it's all right, you know.

It's the thing with when you're not wearing headphones, it's easier to forget. Yeah. Oh, okay, so now you're having a digger to thaw for not wearing headphones. No, no. Yeah, we're doing him a favour and he's, anyway. I really appreciate it. Okay, I would like to lock in...

Green white, pink, four-skin, frack. Green white, pink, four-skin frack. There's my show title for next year. Oh, okay. Okay, I'm split between... Foreskin. Four-skinned and what? I'm not.

Four skin and walnut. That's the guiche. I think the guiche is cops. Foreskin and walnut are on the case. Let's lock in, let's lock in fracking. Fracking. I don't want to copy Tony. All right.

Locked in. I'd like to lock in foreskin, thanks. All right. But what are you choosing for the answer? All right. Got him. Is it right the answers? Here we go.

Three points. I tell you what, a few of these were called out correct. You said straight white male was the house. That is correct. It was a mix between Peter, the questioner or not. I just added a few bits to it, you know. Yeah, it had your attitude at the base of it. He had the idea of the straight white male on using the patriarchy to combat injustice,

which I found very funny. It was 2011. That wasn't a problem back then. The pink walnut, I think everyone seemed to call this, that was Ben Hustle. How dare you? Tony was very quick to call that as well. Get your prostate checked, all right? They don't have to stick a finger in your bum.

It's just a little... Someone else can do that. Yeah, exactly. You had to pay extra for that. Now, Kirstie went for Frackman. That was Tony Martin. What? Whoa!

I would have thought Jacob Bellin would have been the giveaway. Jacob Belland, really. I forgot about the Jacob Bellin bit. That's a very comic booky name, especially when he's meant to be, like, that comic was making Frackman seem like an idiot. Yeah, right. So I think Bellin works. I forgot about Bell End when I was thinking of the titles.

I just couldn't resist. Oh, no. He's not like, first time guest, you just gave him the gift of three points, Kirst. Think of the positive. Yeah, I did that on purpose as well. Yeah. A little morale boost. And really, it was quite beautiful in the end

because Tony went for the Graham Warrior, which was Kirsty. There you go. dropping points back and forth. God. So what's the real one? And that means Ben is correct. It is Forskinned Man. Really?

It was apparently... Is it flying off the shelves? I don't think so. It was controversial. Wiki says, Forskinned Man was created by Matthew Hess, the author of a proposed bill to ban medically unnecessary circumcisions of mine.

during a 2010 to 2011 campaign to ban this procedure in San Francisco. The comic received criticism from advocates on both sides of the circumcision debate for its alleged use of anti-Semitic imagery in a second issue. When question about foreskin man's coloring, Hess responded that, quote, four-skinned man's blonde hair, blue eyes and fair skin reflects my own German heritage. I see absolutely no reason to be ashamed of that. Oh no. I just thought it would be.

be that because Foreskin man is such a bad name. It's so bad. Like Captain Forskin is better. Everything about it just sounds so... The pink walnut is better. Yeah. In the second issue, he teamed up with Volvo Girl. Yeah, right.

Oh, what? Did you make... Is that the house or is that... That's real. That's real. Volvo Girl. It made it into at least two editions. Right.

The pink helmet would have been better as well, I think. Yeah. Just throwing it out there. Yeah. Yeah. There's no wrong answers. Yeah. Thanks, Ben.

It's quite a... Thank you. The Avengers assembling all of these... Yeah, all the... Erogenous zones. The originous avenger. Like, Forking, man and vulva... Vulva girl.

Yeah, I wonder how he came up with these. Where does he have his ideas? I just wonder how... I would be a villain, right? Because that's what the prostate wants to do. He wants to kill you. Yeah. The idea of...

It's just waiting. biting its time. I love the idea that there's two, that both sides of the circumcision debate. Exactly. This is bad. I don't want to go to that debate. It's at the town hall.

Yeah, cut it off. Keep it on. Done. Yeah. Debate ended. Before we get to the final schools, Kirstie, where can people find you? You're taping it?

Imagine that's getting close to selling out here and when, this is released sort of late September, early October. Oh, yep, yep. But you've got a bunch of dates in some towns I've never heard of. Yes, I've got a load of dates coming up. So I am taping a special on October 22nd here in Melbourne. And it is dangerously close to being sold out.

But I'm doing some warm-up shows in the lead-up to that. So you can go to Kirstywebeck.com. Dot a u. And you can have no. Dot-a-u-u-bent. If there were a dot-u-bun, I'll... We've said it. Kirstiewebock.

Sorry, everyone. I'm so sorry, everyone. I'm so, I blacked out. I blacked out. It turns out that you can have an end to together. The school of Kirsty Webbick. Ben, White Knight Russell, trying to save the day again.

Disappointing, man. Ben, I know what my website is, okay, Ben? Kirsty Webbick site. I'm also going... I've heard of the WebExplanning her own website to her, Ben. Pretty disappointing, mate. And my surname's weebeck, not website. My surname is Webeck, Ben.

Webbing. Stop calling me, Kirsty website. I'm sorry I have to see this, Tony. I'm sorry you've had to say this. I'm sorry you've had, stop calling me that. Oh my gosh. And it's all about something that will have already occurred when this comes out. Absolutely not. It won't have occurred, Tony. Stop with that attitude problem. No, no, this, yeah. Your taping's in a few weeks. My taping is on October 22nd. All right. You can come to the taping. There's warm up shows and then I'm off to Nauruma and then I'm off to the Central West, Mudgee, Dubbo, Orange, Bathist.

And you can also look me up on social media, Kirstie Webeck, and I'm touring a new show next year, of course. Of course. Of course. Exciting times. Ben, what about you? You're teaching now.

Can people come and learn at your feet? No. What are you teaching? I teach VCA. How do I stop this? You can't stop it. You can't do it. I know, but I tell you what,

If anyone is in the Los Angeles metropolitan area come 28th of November, I'm doing a show at the Elysian Theatre at 8.30 p.m. And that's all. Which side of the debate are you on? Four skin or no foreskin? I say, uh, skin or against skin. That's one half on each. I say do what you do what you want. I, your body, your choice. I'm pro choice when it comes to foreskin.

Hack away if you must. Yeah. They'd take it, slice it off if you want to do it, if you want to keep it, and there's nothing wrong with you. That's beautiful. That was really sweet. How do people find tickets to this Elysian Theatre? You can follow me on my social medias.

What's that? Instagram, I'm Ben Russell. Dot com. dot ed.com. Dot E.d.com. Dot VCA.gov.org.com.com.com.com.com. Not UK. Dot cock.

It's in the Cook Island, yeah. And Tony? Sizzletown. Or, as it will now be known, Sozzletown. I think, I mean, drunk episodes only from here on it. And how do you find,

how do you find Sizzletown podcast.com? No way, you, nothing else. Dot edu. Dot com. You're a dot net. There's no. There's no. There's no.

There's no eddue content. Dot Tony. Dot, all right, final scores. Hang on, the show. In fourth place, on four points, it's Tony Martin. What? Not bad, Tony Martin.

Tony Martini. My pants stay on. In third place, on five points, it's the house. Yes. Up to seven points. In second place, it's Ben Russell. There you go. Winning the day on eight points is Kirsty Webeck.

Kirstie Web site's done it again. And there's only six minutes till the parking meter runs out. Oh, win, win. That's a real win. That's enough time. We're at least five and a half minutes away from your car. I'm going to leg it.

Oh, cheers for tuning in, everyone. Thanks so much for joining us. Thanks, man. Give us a five-star review. Tell your friends if you think you know anyone who might enjoy it now that you know it, I've been at show it. Goodbye. I forget you're, do you not have a mobile at all?

No. No, you don't have any phone. Well, I have a landline. Yes. I know I have an iPod so I can listen to podcasts in the car. We've got to get Tony to go home and phone all the answers in on his landline. I have no, did not consider this. I knew you have a podcast.

I was listening to a podcast on the way here on an iPod. Right. On an iPod touch, which is an iPhone without a phone in it. Wait. Got one of those. You can use my phone. Oh. So you send answers through.

Oh, do I? So. Yeah. But I'm just here. Can I not? Just tell them to it. You don't want them to know you're trying to trick them. So there's six questions each round.

There'll be a question that is like, what does this word mean? And you write a fake definition. Yes. And then I read out, I mix them all up. Your three, the real one, another couple. So you've got six options. Yeah. And you're trying to pick the real one.

You're trying to get them to pick your fake one. All right. It's real straightforward once it gets going. If you want to play strategy, the strategy is to not pick the house, basically. That's what I, at the very least, don't pick the house because the house always wins. Right. But you're not going to know. I'm the house.

You're not going to know the house. All right. So what do I do with this? This is just my chat with you on Blue Sky. Okay. So if you just write your answers in there. Yes, okay. See, I answer that on what's called a computer.

Is this going to be true? Personal computer? Yeah, it's like a PC. Yeah. Like on that at the house. Desktop. Yeah. An I Mac.

I'm not if I can get you. A computer. Yeah. I can see if someone's got a spare computer somewhere in the studio that you can borrow. Do you reckon you could? Yeah, I can use that. I'm sure I could. I've literally never sent a text to anyone.

This is so exciting. This is very exciting. It's like living in the future. Who knew that we'd be the three that would drag Tony into the present? Into the 20th century. You know what I have a, yeah, that's the one. I'm still coping with the 19th century. I tell you what I have

that a lot of people don't have is an answering machine Like the Rockford files What's your message It's just the electronic one that came with it You're like Christopher Nolan Oh yeah but everyone says that But then I go he would have five people

Walking behind him with phones We already had this conversation Because the other one people say is Elton John You're going really like Elton John's husband Isn't tapping away on a jeweled phone Your partners with phone She has a phone, but it doesn't have the... I'm suggesting.

But he... She has a phone, but it's not an internet phone. It's just like a phone. What are you called? We can... She can download things when we're at home. What we do is we download things when we're at home. So I download a podcast into my iPod.

And then I drive around listening in the car. Yeah. The great thing is I went to the Apple Genius bar to buy a new iPod touch. And one of the geniuses was going, you've got a girlfriend. Do they still make those? and the genius next to him nudged him and went and pointed at the wall

and there was an entire wall of iPod touches and the guy went oh I've never seen those I don't think we've ever got one of those down like they've been there and no one had bought one in 10 years that's so funny I like this double conversation thing all right so we do it for the whole pot okay occasionally you'll have to use your finger

Ben and I versus Tudy and Matt we do two separate pods at the same time was it was it Brown album one of your old albums had a track where you could turn it to the left or the right depending on what you wanted to hear? Yeah no it's Pete Smith on Roller Skate so you test the stereo and you can't. People tell me they still use it to test the speakers in their car. That's so funny. Yeah. No Kenny Everett was the guy who used to famously on his radio show if there was bad news like when Lord

Mountbatten got blown up he just put the news in one speaker in one side. And then he had played it. It's like a member of the royal family who was blown up by Irish terrorists. I think in the series three or four of the crown. It was popular move. I should have done more. But Everett just put the news in one side and then had pleasant music and the other speaker. So you could use the balance.

You're not having a name by that. Oh, that was illegal. All right. Okay. So when you, you asked me to do something, I type it in here. Type it in there and just press sand. Like I'm doing it at home. Yeah, great.

It's great. And I'll just open up that chat in here. And it'll, oh. And if it goes to sleep Or you will have to reach over Send me a signal It's a fingerprint to open that Wow

Is that a new thing? I know It's very James Bond-like if you Friend of mine has a car with cameras in it So you can see where you're reversing Yeah That's hard to see that's Like they sense what other cars are around as well

You're saying that There's also that bird's eye view parking one Where it's like Yeah Is the camera It's sort of an amalgamation of cameras that then presents itself as a bird's eye. So it's not a satellite.

Because obviously there would be too many lenses. There would be millions of too many cars. I haven't thought this story. Think about it, Tony. I did buy a new secondhand car recently though. A new secondhand? But how's this? It was a 2012 Mazda 3 and it had $17,000.

K's on the clock. That's a, everyone was going, has the guy wound it back? Yeah, Ferris. And then someone, but everyone was going, oh, it's the classic little old lady who only use it to go to the shops. That's what was? We got our sube. It was 14,000. From what year, though? 2007.

That's amazing. Yeah. And what was the reason? The person only. She was 90, she was in the 90s. Never drove. That's the cliche. And then I went into the place and they went, oh, it's this old lady who lives in Brighton, only drives it to the shops.

And I'm going, that's the cliche. Should we give me a cliche? Sometimes the cliche is true. It may not have been. Okay. All right, shall we? We shall. Also, just, I just want everyone to be mindful of my parking being up at 10 to 3, please.

10 to 3. Yeah, we should be done by then. If we can be mindful. We can pause and you can run down. I mean, I'm not, I'm just saying be mindful. Let's go for three hours. I want it to be front of mindful all of you. I really work.

It's front. It's now nothing but. Kirstie, you know, I mean, I'd tell anyone else that, but time Ben Russell that is asking. Most of my answers are going to have that information. Good. And so they should. Then we'll know it's yours.

No, because I'm going to do it as well. Yeah, see, it could be a trick. Oh, now that's clever. It's not my first rodeo. Well, that's one of these is right. All right, let's begin. Is there like thinking, music playing when we're writing our answers? There'll be, uh, any silence or just be added it out.

Oh, right. I believe. Oh, okay. That's done by someone else. Yeah, Connor, if you say anything... Like, Connor, he's good. Yeah, Connor's real good. I assume.

Yeah, I have not. No one's met him. Don't mess this up, Connor. I say the number one rule is to make me look good, Connor. Number two rule, make the guests look good. Number three rule, make it an entertaining podcast as best as you can. Right. Who cares about that?

Yeah, that's done. That bits down the list. Irrelevant. So how long, once you've cut all those bits, How long does an episode go? Normally, well, it depends on how much... Really? It really depends on the guests usually.

If it's a Ben Russell episode, it normally goes for about an hour and a half. How dare you? Why is it what does he get, does he go to soapbox? He gets soakedboxy, uh, sometimes it's something... He's a lot of the riff. He's a lot of the rift. Does he do his characters? Because I'm a big fan of the character he does call Funny Lady.

Yeah, Funny Lady. Yeah, yeah. No longer of that. apparently. Because he can't be bothered paying the hosting fee. She's gone underground. Yeah, so, I mean,

he does request normally. Nearly every episode he's on, there will be an accent, bit of accent work. Oh, yeah. I don't know if he does a Kenyan accent. No, I don't. I won't fall into that trap.

Well, that's the relevant one. That's a trap and I found it and I won't fall into it. This is good stuff, time. Also, if your riffs are so good, they're ready for the state. He's just how Connor edit that out.

I'm keeping that. Does that happen? Has that ever happened on this show? Yeah. Connor, I'm taking that on the road. That's a new opener. The world building's going to be a nightmare.

I did explain why. I don't call my way to Adelaide. If there is something good enough, no one's going to come up to you afterwards. I go, hey, mate. Sorry, but I did hear that bit on who knew it with Matt Stewart.

I did have that happen to me once. I heard you tell that story in a podcast. And they told me in a really sweet, way and then and they've told me since that they regret giving me that food. Yeah. Anyway,

the best one is when someone says, I heard you say that at another gig. Yeah. Like, yeah. They want everything to be fresh. Yeah. You are every shot.

That happened to me once where I, it was just like a bit of like fake crowd work to set it, just to set up the stupid joke. Yes. And I asked the person, you know, whatever the question was, and they go, I've seen this already. Well, that's absolutely derailed.

It was like the first thing I said. Ouch. Yeah. I recovered really well, though. Yeah, I've seen the clip. Yeah. Thank you for crashing your car through the fourth wall. Seen this bit, actually.

Oh, right. Well, fuck. Right, oh, good on you, mate. My guess. That's why I know all the Italian swear words. Oh, can you name any? What's the best one? I mean, the classic one is just Fungu.

Oh, Fungu. Fongu, Lod, Sopranos. It's a Tester. Malacca was a Greek one. Malacca's Greek. Is that Greek? Yeah. My high school, Malacca was big and...

Strunz is good. I love strunz. Strunz is good. Yeah, that's all right. And then there's a couple others that are quite, quite offensive, then I won't say. Okay. What about when you were, I remember my first day at school when I was five and I'd never heard any swear words. And I heard one kid call another kid a dumbhead.

A dumbhead. It was like, whoa! That was amazing. I remember when I, my brother was like, hey, go out in the front yard and just, and just call me, like, say, I think it was dickhead or something bad. It was something rude. And my mother copped it and washed my mouth out with soap. Really did.

The classic mouth out was soap. I had that up for once as well. Mom denies it now, but it definitely happened. My mom later apologized and said maybe. Maybe that was not okay. I've never heard of that actually. Yeah, it happened. It did to me too.

When I was six, yeah, when I was six years old, I was in my bedroom and I just decided that I was going to march out and call my mum's friend Claire a bumhead. A bum head. Like just no one put me up to it. And I did. I marched in the lounge room, though, having a cup of tea. And I went, you're a bumhead, Claire. And mum went, yoink and just carted me off into the bathroom.

Bar of soap. Like, there's obviously the taste of disgusting. It is child abuse. named into your mouth. Yeah, it's presumably illegal now. Yeah. But a six-year-old calling someone a bumhead, I mean, how can you not be pissing yourself laughing?

Oh, absolutely. It did not stop me from swearing. In fact, if anything, it spurred me on. Yeah, exactly. When I got the bar of soap out of my mouth, I was like, you motherfucker. You're a c-c-old. And then they get the soul vault. They really, the pumice.

Seward was always so bad because they've got American. parents and there that's the most offensive thing that you hear of say. Really? Yeah. And so it was tough because growing up in Perth. In Perth, that's just what we said. Texas is the Perth. What's about what would be the acceptable version in Texas?

They don't curse in Texas. They don't even say the word curse. No. That's even been softened to cuss. I said shit accidentally and they were like, well, please don't curse. And I was like, oh, Jesus Christ, sorry, dude. There's a bus shield. all over town at the moment with the word

piss on it. You notice that? I can't even know what the product is, but it's something like this won't piss you off. Like the word piss is just huge. Yeah. That's funny. I mean the word piss is big. The world's gone to pot hasn't it? Yeah, very nice. And there's another billboard with the word

ass, but they've got like a quokker's head in front of part of the word so you have to picture the rest of the word. It's invocative. It's a bit coy about the word us. Oh, that's cheeky. But the people using piss have got no qualms.

It's just right there. They're like, get it out there. Things have changed. Yeah, they have. My mum talks about when she knew her dad was really angry, like twice ever, he said bloody. And she was like, oh, yeah, my parents, but that's them as well. Yeah. Bloody.

I maintain things changed in Australia when Bob Hawke, the Prime Minister, said bullshit on the news. Someone asked him a question, he was, ah, it's a lot, bullshit. Yeah. That went out on the sixth of course. clock news. I reckon more advertising agencies should use

suck off. Oh yeah. Yeah, because that's not offensive really. Yeah. You're like, oh yeah,

suck off the suck off your fucking dad, you can't. And then that's, well, yeah, I reckon in that

context it gets a little you hide the fucking and then the quokers so there's like three quokas in there. Yeah. Yeah.

That's the thing you've got to keep bringing more quokers in don't you got to have more quokers. Like soft on anything go, no one gets mad on those chicky faces are there. Yeah.

You keep the clock a quota up and everything's right. No problem. And then Trump said, Trump said fucked in here. Oh, he's dropping every bit, all of them now. Yeah, it doesn't matter because if you're so sort of demented then you got like suffering from Coke, drug, like. It's something. Drug-related delusions and dementia.

He's up all night. He's texting or what is it? He's on. Yeah. Social. He's on there at four in the morning. Good on him. It's nice to see old elderly people embracing technology.

Yeah, I bet he's got a smartphone as well. Yeah, you'd have a smartphone and he'd know how to use it. All right, the abs are in. If a man that shits himself daily, can do it. You can too, Tony. Oh, Tony, I'm so sorry. Tony, what have you done? I didn't do anything.

What have you done, Tony? It's a long conversation. Tony. All right. The bird-eating spider. That was me, by the way. That's a real New Zealand spider. Is it?

It's the one at the end of the movie, Arakophobia. Yeah. The big one at the end, that was like not a digital spider. How does it spider eat a bird? Apparently it lives way below the earth's surface and I'm going, well, how did the birds get down there? Well, New Zealand.

They don't. Oh, true. Oh, of course, like the Kiwi. And the Kakapo. Is that how the Kakapo? They're falling down the hole into the jaws of what is apparently the world's largest spider. Maybe the mower?

Is that how it got extinct? Yeah, Moe was very big though. I can't picture a spider's mouth even. I was in New Zealand two weeks ago and I nearly got taken by a birdie spider. Really? Yeah. Because, yeah, they're like cockney's spiders. I'll check on his bird.

Abeddy's bird over here. She looks tasty in there. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I have been unable to get a reference to Kirstie's parking dilemma into this answer. Oh no, well if I get a ticket, it's on you, don't know. How are they around here, Matt?

Are they swoop in the parking? They're pretty, yeah, they're pretty hectic. I've suffered at the hands of a elongated do-go-on pod recording. Have you really? Oh, yeah. But just do go on. That's not this one. No, exactly.

Yeah, that one, yeah. The clue's in the title of that one. That one does waffle on a bit. And this one's usually very, very snappy. Unless Ben Russell's on. But the good thing is, Ben will complain about how we've run long towards the end of the episodes he's on. I get tired. And it's always like, it's mainly.

It's your podcast, Matt. The responsibility is yours. That's fair enough. That is fair enough. All right. You're not the victim in this You're the reason we're all here Such a good point

I could be home Jerking my little dick What What the head is Why you know that the cameras and the microphones are on Ben Why are you releasing that information I'm prompted

That's not going to power the national grid No It couldn't even power a light bulb Ben Dick Freak. Not even a Cassio calculator. You know what those, Tony? I've seen them. I've seen pictures.

Drawings, really. All right. Under complaints, there's just a grenade. Always think about, is it your story? About the, you used to work for a radio boss who had a sword. Was that your story? Yeah, you know, that was a man. And whose wife invented boost juice.

Oh, right. And so he never has to work again. Oh, that's good love. But he was famous for having a samurai sword on the wall of his office. And then framed beneath it was the 10 laws of the Sansu warrior. And he would often wield the sword in meetings. Yeah. But of course, the rules of the Sansu warrior were not designed to, you know, be used in order to play more Brian

Adams and more nickelback. The biggest losers are in radio, aren't they? Yes. The biggest fucking dorks. It's like it's filled with dorks that think that they are Wolf of Wall Street. Yeah. Well, this man, I thought this was unusual, had a topless photograph of his own wife on the wall of his office.

The boost juice. Yeah. Yeah. It was a black and white artie shop, but you're still going, that's not right. Mango magic. Yeah. A taste of a little. black and white nude.

Took me a second. That's a boost juice flag. I think so. Yeah. A tasteful black and white nude. Yeah. Having it of your partner is a bit on the nose. Like I've got a taste for black and white nude of myself in my office.

Which makes perfect sense. Of course. I mean, that's where else would I meet people? That's where you do all your negotiations? Where else would I receive a guest? Is it a magic eye picture as well? Yeah.

I mean, people have. I've called it a magic eye picture in the past, and it's up to you what your reaction to it is. That's a review of Stan Barn Me. Is it a... How many chef's hats to the Stan Bar Me? I mean, I think it's got maximum hat. Maximum hat.

Yeah. How's the way with those chefs hats? It's only three. Like, out of star, you know, stars it's normally four or five. Yeah. Three just feels. Three is the best you can get, but that still feels a bit pissy. Michelin only has three stars.

Yeah, that's the way. Yeah, well, isn't that the same thing? Yeah, I think it's. Chef's hats are different. Oh, is that different, right? Stars and hats. And they're both three. So in food, it's out of three.

Yeah. At least I think they're separate because why would you call a hat a star? Can you get half stars and half hats? No. No. Hmm. This isn't a age review of Matt Stewart. Getting two and a half stars.

Well, that half star kind of bumps it up to okay, doesn't it? Have you ever had a terrible review, huh? Yeah. I had a two-star review. Maybe in the age. Maybe in the age. And it was brutal. It was easily the worst night of the run.

And the guy just, but it was still, you know, the show was pretty good, I think. What was his main complaint? He was just like basically saying that I look like I, I didn't believe in myself. I'm like, I'm sort of my suit got to like a sub-deprecate. I mean, I'm like, you know, it's kind of a, it's a bit of a persona thing where I'm a little, I'm not, I'm not like an alpha dog up there for sure. But anyway, it definitely, yeah, it really made me feel good about, good about everything.

Yeah. I mean, it was years ago now. And I've moved on. Yeah, you've moved on. I hadn't thought about in a while, so I appreciate a chance to reflect. Thanks so much. I've almost exclusively gotten bad reviews, so. Really?

Yeah. In the age? Yeah, like basically anywhere and at the age, they fucking hate me. Like last year they named me worst on ground on the gala. What the fuck? Jesus Christ. Why do they even help? Why are they doing that?

Yeah, yeah. And also, but also. Like, they were in the room and I, like, I had a belter. Like, I've had gala sets before where I've been like, ugh, okay, that could have gone better. But last year it was a belter, two applause breaks in four minutes. Sounds awful. The night the reviewer was there. Yeah, yeah.

And then they said what? They just didn't like you. Then they said that, like, yeah, they named me as somebody who bombed in the room. And everyone was like, what the fuck? There's a few witnesses. Yeah, like, literally, like, one of the managers from. token were just like, did you see that fucking thing in the review, like in the age? Like, were they there?

And like, everyone was just like, what the, because I always talk about how they hate me and everyone's like, no, they don't. And then after last year, they were all like, oh yeah, they hate you. They really don't hate you. It's really nice of someone to bring it up to you, though. It's like, did you see that thing? Everyone brought it up to me. But also, like, I don't allow reviewers for that reason.

Because I've never, and also, like, this could despair coincidence, of course, but like anecdotally, like, I have literally never received a good review of a man. Every good review I've ever received was from a woman. And the men are always like three stars, like, oh, it wasn't polished. Like, it'll be an award-winning show. Maybe they were thinking, chef at it. Yeah, it's not, yeah, no good. Yeah, like, it's crazy.

But they make shit up in them as well. I don't see the point of them. I think that they are like so irrelevant nowadays. that I don't understand why people, A, invite them to see shows. Yeah. And B, who even reads them? No one, because they're all behind paywalls now. Yeah, yeah, exactly.

It doesn't make any sense. So I don't even bother with them. And I don't, and I haven't seen any, any, like, benefit or detract, like, I don't miss them at all. No, no, I've been banned from my shows for four years. If there's one, it's fine. Industry that deserves AI to steal all their jobs, it's that. Agreed. The Herald Sun, remember when the Herald Sun reviewed the Comedy Festival.

I remember about maybe 10 years ago, I went and saw Ross Noble at the Palais, and he absolutely killed for two and a half hours, two and a half hour show, and then the Herald's son named his show the worst show of the festival. There's nothing better than getting someone that has no creative bone in their body to like... And to also not be able to objectively be like, oh, everyone else is enjoying this. Maybe I'm a fucking twat. Yeah, I'm going, did you just have a bad one? Bad, like, did we,

the night the reviewer go, did nothing work for two and a half hours? Does Ross Noble murder your mother? He did fuck his wife, though. Back over your dog. During the show. But it killed. Yeah, it was a good finale.

He was, yeah, or can I, imagine if I was fucking your wife. I reckon he might be the, I reckon he was the one who introduced me to the word vol. Oh, vol. Vol. He likes a vol. He likes a vol.

I like Stacy's mom. Yeah, she's got it going on. I agree. She's all I want and I've waited for so long. Yes. Ben's already thinking about what he's doing at your time. Oh, no. With his little weeny.

Who wasn't one of the names for spinal tags? One of the, when they were trying to think of the name spinal tap, the other finalist was jumbo shrimp. Jumbo shrimp. Because that's like a dish that you would get at a, you know, olive garden or somewhere like that. I'll have the jumbos shrimp. Why is it called spinal tap?

It's just a, that's a, it's a medical time, isn't it? Why is anything called anything? Why are you called Kirstie? Little weeny. Yeah, a little weebee. Little weeby. One might I call Ben. Nobody knows.

I think I say this every time I see Kirstie, but have you thought of doing a comedy festival, which I called The Weback Machine? The Webeck Machine. You know, there's the Wayback Machine on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whenever I use the Wayback Machine, I always think of you. Yeah, thank you.

I appreciate that. Maybe I should, because I have toyed with like Webeck when and like We go Webeck. Yes. Yeah. Okay. I'm going to put those on the chopping block judging by all of you. I felt like I was on the worst episode of Shark Tank then. You were like, yes, okay.

Well, good luck. $1 million. The first one. Yeah, I got Will Anderson on the phone. He wants his terrible names for his show back. Okay, what about this? What about this? I want to do a show called, and this is the name of my substack as well, right?

I want to do a show called The Best of Times, the Cursed of Times. Yeah. That's not bad. That's better. That's better. The second one I just didn't understand for a second. We go, we back. Yeah.

It sounded like a, the problem is that all these were. A sporting team chant. We go. What about we back yourself? We beg yourself? Like back yourself. Sounds like neck yourself. Oh, I thought it was like wreck yourself.

Oh, yeah. Check yourself before you're, before you're wee back yourself. Now we're getting really close. We're going to be so close. We're edging towards a great name here. Once we lock in the name, can we start workshoping some gags for the show? What was that bit Tony had before? I reckon that's ready to go.

The Wii back machine. Yeah, Weeback machines in there. I'll just say that. There's no set up or punch lighter. How you do the whole show where you're just, you know, scrolling through the weeback machine? Yeah, the weeback machine. And it's just, yeah, your photo albums as a child. Yeah, and like my year one teacher like coming out.

Yeah. Yeah. She's gay. Well Wow Yeah Or what about Did you just assume their gender

Yeah What about just They were a year one Feeter they were a woman What about just Mealing one of Will Anderson Just doing one with Will in the name Yeah

I think that's actually a really good idea Willustrious Has he done that one though He probably possibly has I don't know Have he done a Luminati Willustrius Just call it

Listen, I don't actually hate it Legitimately don't hate us We should all do Everyone do one Yeah, we should all do it It's hard to think of what he hasn't done though Yeah He's done I am the Willrus

He actually did that one Whoa And he's done Willuminati Yeah, he's done Willenium Willenium Okay Willback machine

Has that been done It's a pun It's a hat on a hat Yeah, so it's not as fun of a story, I guess. Sorry, what were the two guys called? The real guys, oh, these, sorry. Dan and Josh. Dan and Josh.

Thanks guys. Daniel and Joshua. That's what it's short for. No, it's not. Can you wake up to yourself, please, Ben? I'll wake up to myself every day and I go. Good morning, Ben. Good morning.

Who's a good boy? I'm a good boy. say. Are you a bit, is, it's a good question, are you Benjamin or are you just Ben? I'm Benjamin. Right.

Yeah. How do you feel about that? Yeah. Is that money? Isn't that a term for money? Well about the Benjamin. Yeah. Because Benjamin Franklin is on the $100 no.

Is that what it is? You ever bother to look that up. Well, no, you know, you don't need to look at it. It's going to come up here. I just know. You too. were doing a gig this week in Ballarat.

It'd be well gone by the time this comes out. But yeah, I did it last month. Is this in a church? Is the organ part of the, can you deploy the organ of required? Well, I hosted it last month and it was like a musical lineup. And they had a keyboard on stage. It would have been nice to use the organ. It seemed a bit rough, but it was, it's quite cavernous.

That's perfect for comedy, I thought. It's so cavernous. It didn't have everything going. but it was a beautiful building. It is so beautiful, but it's not ideal for comedy. But there's some good news, Ben. It's not ideal for comedy. Well, do you know what the thing is?

If you bomb, you can blame it on the venue. Yeah. Blame it on the organ. The show went, you know, went all right, but it... That's not what I heard, actually. I heard you got really racist. I knew it was two and a half stars. Thank you for that half.

And you didn't believe... What was it? You didn't believe... believe in myself or something like that. Anyway, I really don't want to encourage people to go look it up because that just makes the algorithm put it out there more. So no one look it up. Connor,

just bleep out. I got a book review. I got a scathing book review from the age. And it was of a novel I'd done. And the reviewer said one of her problems was that it was the kind of comedy novel where the characters have funny names. And the two main characters in the novel, here's what they are. Their name is Gordon Berringer, which is a real name.

Funny. And the other main character is called, who was based on Alan Jones, was called Julian Spence. Crazy name. Which is also a real name. But the reviewer, her name was Louise Swin. Which to me sounds like a name of a mad as hell character. Swin. I've never heard that name before.

It sounds like something, someone Ross Hammond would play. What does she think the names are funny? I don't know. I'm going Julian Spence. Is that too handy? The age reviewing writing is like a man with no arms, reviewing a bike. Reviewing piano accordions. Would she have had any connection to Alan Jones and being like maybe?

I don't think so. Taking offence on his behalf. I don't know. I don't know. Wild. Yeah, that doesn't make, that's so fine. I thought the names are going to be like. Yeah, mountain bongas.

Come, Barry Fifee. Come fakes. Dirty. Dirty. Yeah, what is, what is it? What is you make the protagonist Dirty Bumbo? That should have been one of the rap names. Dirty Bumhole.

My name's Dirty Bumperin. This is my story. Yeah, then Tottie's like, Tony's like, she said the names weren't serious. And I mean, my main character is called Dirty Bumhole. This is my best friend. Come face. All right.

Are we still in the middle of a question? I can't know. We're about to go. Where are we up to? That is a, that's where I was, I was just having that thought internally. What are we doing? There's a, um, you're still sponsored by the burger place? They're one of our secondary sponsors

Yeah, right That's one walking distance from here I went there on the way Yeah And I was hoping they would recognise me And it didn't work It didn't happen Yeah and quokas is the other

Is that the current other one? Yeah, there is quackanette Quokanat Your shoutouts I think about those shoutouts To your supporters Matt They take so long

They sound like They would take so long He spends, like he'll spend two days on one of them. Is that the kind of thing? Is that like a, like, um, the bloody worst idea guys? He must be like, I regret starting this. Yeah, I think it's happening. And he's so happy when he can repeat one.

He's made his own bedroom. He really has. But it's, they're just amazing. Like he senses to me and I go, how long did you spend on this? It's like a building a ship and a bottle. I do like how on Arsus Chapsy you use some of your Sizzletown characters or at least in the first track.

What's it going to be? Yeah, that was fully Damien's idea. That was so weird when he did it. That track. I mean, that story, you were telling me about that story before the album came out. After when we saw Dave Graney at the corner, you were telling me about it?

It's so funny. Push off or step off. Well, that, and that was, because Fleet also, because he was one of the other comedians and he does a version of it in his stand-up as well. Oh, right. Catchy as. I like the reveal.

I didn't notice the I dream of Jeannie thing and then you mention it later. That's hearkening back to the night. But yeah, and I, because I wasn't game enough to say that it's because it was as it was. Yes. It looks exactly like that. The guy who later played him in Underbelly. But he, because he, none of, no one he would be old enough to have played the comedy club at the Carlton.

No. Where the Nova is now. That's where it was. Right. And it was, and it was. Right along the, uh, that, that mezzan. Oh, yeah. It was upstairs.

And, do you have you heard this story, Ben? Oh, no. Tony was. You know who. You know who. Yeah. There was a comedy club in Carlton. A legitimate businessman.

Yes. Am I, should I be saying this on camera? Connor, do you want to bleep out the name? Yeah, just and... And... As well, if you could. Yes, yes. No, there was a comedy club where the Nova is now.

Mm-hmm. And one day... And I was in a show with five other comedians. Greg Fleet was one of them. And one day we got there and there had been a murder the night before and a guy had been found dead at the bottom of the escalators. And it was all over the front of the... the Herald's son.

And sorry, it's another beep. I came in and addressed the comedians and said, the management would prefer that none of the comedians make mention of the unfortunate incident because at this stage, we do not know whether the gentleman was pushed off or stabbed off the mezzanine. And so we were not allowed to mention it. And then every, all six of the axe, although one of them was the double axe.

There was five of us got the phrase pushed off or stabbed off into their routine that night. And everyone was doing it and I went down to my car and I had the CDs of television's greatest hits, theme songs of TV old and I got them to queue up. I dream of genie and I came out going, pushed off, pushed off, pushed off were stamped off. But we could have died. Yeah, we didn't take it seriously. And is that true that one of the comics at his car? That was, yeah.

Yeah, again, you'll need to beep the names. But B. was comparing and he made a reference to the mafia and went down... Which doesn't exist. I would like to just say. It doesn't exist. And went down to the underground car park below the Nova, you know, those underground. And his car was just a blackened smoking chassis.

Wow. Two stories. He going, where did the smoke go? Yeah. And I've been telling that story for 20 years. and about two years ago someone finally pulled me up and said no they got the wrong car it was the was the car next to his car so someone else someone who was unconnected with the story at all just came to their car and found just a black shape whoa but i'm often in that underground car park

and i go how do you how do you set fire and destroy a car with no one's seeing it yeah it's good out for that ventilation down there's a lot of beeping connor Because seriously, I don't want to get anyone, anyone's car destroyed. Yeah. That story is just going to be, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. Beep, beep. And then, beep, beep, beep. And then I, beep, beep, beep.

It's going to be morse code.