Who Knew It with Matt Stewart - 22 - Suren Jayemanne, Grace Jarvis and Marcel Blanch De Wilt

Episode Date: February 6, 2023

Who Knew It with Matt Stewart is a comedy game show podcast hosted by Australian comedian Matt Stewart. This episode features comedians Suren Jayemanne, Grace Jarvis and Marcel Blanch De Wilt!Check out Matt's stand up special FREE on YouTube: https://youtu.be/cWStRpI-BhESupport the show via http://patreon.com/dogoonpod and you can submit questions for the show!See the show live, get tickets via: https://www.mattstewartcomedy.com/Check out Matt's podcast network: https://dogoonpod.com/Theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and Logo by @muzdoodles! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Oh my God, can you believe it? It's the year 2024. It's Melbourne Comedy Festival and we've just moved venues. We're at the Grace Darling now. We had a great run at the Chinese Museum, selling out shows by the end, but now we need you to come over to the Grace Darling and shows are at 7.15. It's going to be so much fun. Love to see you there. Let's have a beer. Use discount code do go on the show's called dry dry at the melbourne international comedy festival then we're going to sydney and brisbane tickets to all that stuff's on sale now and you can find those tickets and details at mattstuartcomedy.com welcome to who knew with matt stewart the show where the guests write the wrong answers i'm Welcome to Who Knew It With Matt Stewart, the show where the guests write the wrong answers. I'm the titular Matt Stewart and our first guest this week from the Marvel Cinematic Universe is comedian Saran Jayamana. Hello.

Thanks for having me. Are you getting recognised much from your debut? From my feature film debut? Thor Love and Thunder? Only by the nerds. Okay. Yeah. Our second guest this week is comedian Grace Jarvis.

Hello. You haven't been in any Marvel films. I haven't got a lot on, no. Our third and final contestant this week is comedian Marcel Blanche DeWilt. Yes, I'm from the Marcel Cinematic Universe. We have a long series of films that you are currently in right now. Oh, wow.

Yeah. And look for the mid-credit sequence after this podcast because you'll see what's coming up next. That's the thing. We will all be in the Marvel Cinematic Universe at some point because it is infinitely expanding. It will engulf the world. All right.

So the way this show works is I ask a relatively obscure trivia question and our contestants have to write a convincing fake answer. I then read their answers as well as the real one, and they have to guess which one is correct. Okay, are we ready to play? Let's do it. You look great, by the way. Thank you so much.

This first question comes from listener Kieran Egan from Melbourne, Australia. In the city of Nottingham in the UK, what does croggy mean? What does croroggy mean? All right, while they're writing their answers, I'll explain how the scoring works. So you get one point if your fake answer is guessed by the other contestant, and another point if you correctly guess the answer. And by the way, I'm also playing as the house. I've put in two of my own fake answers for each question with the help of the question writer, and I get a point for each one of these that our guests choose. So each of us can score up to three points per round. It seems fair, but the probability actually favours me.

The house, and the house always wins. Though, if you've listened to previous episodes, you'll know this is rarely the case. Anyway, our questions come from our great Patreon supporters. If you want to submit a question, sign up on any level via patreon.com.au linked in the show notes. I didn't realize that the questions came from listeners. It feels unfair.

They could ask me trivia questions about them. They'd be like, what's my nan's name? I'd be like, oh, no. That's not a bad one, actually. Writing a list of nan names. That's a really good question. I'm going to guess Rosemary. If anyone's got a weird Nana name, I think if it was just going to be Rosemary,

that would be no good. But if someone's name is Croggy. Don't be mean to Rosemary. She sounds like a great Nan. I don't know. My Nan's name was Nancy, so it really confused child me because I was like, are all Nans named Nancy or just mine? That's a good question.

Is that a question? To be honest, I understand the logic of that. All right, the answers are in. Here is question number one. In the city of Nottingham in the UK, what does croggy mean? A bread loaf in the shape of a dog? A local delicacy. Ooh, croissant crossed with a dog.

Crog. You are suffering from thrush. And also, what's the answer? Sorry, yeah, you were here for your checkup, Marcel. This is not the time to tell me, but thanks, Leon. Hey, Marcel, that's now canon. That's in the universe now. That's in the MCU.

I was saving it for the mid-credits scene, but now, all right, it's here. When a creek is blocked by plastic cutlery, a ride on the handlebars of a bicycle, a day off work because you have an unspoken illness, though you and the boss know it's really because you hung over. Yeah, that's like a crook foggy. Thanks for explaining your answer. In my head, everything is a portmanteau. Thanks for explaining your answer.

In my head, everything is a portmanteau. It's got to be. You really think wordplay does a lot of work in the English language. Or finally, I am from Nottingham and Croggy is my Nana. That's good stuff. That's good stuff. Any thoughts there? New nanoname.

I'm happy to jump in. I'm happy to jump in with my – I like the dinghy one, and I think it's also interesting like each little city, each little country has their own word for like writing on the handlebars. Oh, right. So we would say dink? Yeah. I think, yeah, maybe a dinky dinghy. Do you say dinghy?

I think – So maybe Sydney is dinghy. Maybe Adelaide was dinghy. Yeah, I think maybe a dinky dingy. Did you say dingy? I think. So maybe Sydney's dingy. Maybe Adelaide was dingy. Yeah, maybe. Grace, what about you? I've never heard this before in my life. I've only ever ridden on the seat of a bicycle. Oh, you never got off at a ride?

I don't know. I was prone to injury. I'm not sure. I think I would have killed myself on the handlebars of a bicycle. I mean, I'm with you. I think we both must just be inside children. Oh, I was a library child. I was not going anywhere at speed.

Can I put a case forward for the word dink? Sure. It's a generous thing to offer someone a ride and the letters, if you unscramble the letters of dink. He's done it again. This is good stuff. You should write a Da Vinci code. It spells Knit.

I can see the letters roaming around his head right now. Grace, probably hard to dink on the penny farthing I assume you write. Probably. It's hard to write them, period, I think. Now, Grace, are you leaning any way here? So Marcel jumped in straight away with the riding on the handlebars. Oh. You can go for the same or different.

Are we looking for the right answer? Right answer. Okay. Could I hit them again? People ask that every second week, new guests. And I've never followed up with what would the alternative be? I thought maybe we were trying to like piece together who said what. Oh, yeah, great.

As like a puzzle. Oh, that's quite smart. Yeah, it's a better podcast. But we're not doing that one. I mean, if you want to eliminate each one by saying that's obviously Saran. I think maybe it's the sick day one. I feel like every culture must have a word for that. Yeah, I'm leaning towards that as well.

I feel just a bit more comfortable if I could hear one more time. That option? Yeah, the whole thing. A day off work because you have an unspoken illness, though you and the boss know it's really because you're hungover. Yeah, I think that's right because I think it's you got on the grog. I think it's something to do with that. Do they say grog in the UK?

It's their word, isn't it? Oh, okay. I don't know. Pirates say it. Oh, well, maybe it's a pirate's word. And all pirates are British. The sick day. Okay.

No worries. What would our word for that be? Sickie? A sickie. But the boss would have to know. Maybe they do with the sickie. That's the whole thing about Sikkis. Yeah, true.

All right, well, let's go through who wrote the answers. Breadloaf in the Shape of a Dog, that was written by The House, in particular Kieran, who was the question writer. Beautiful stuff. You give your Patreon supporters so much homework. Not only do you require them to ask you questions, they need to give you answers as well. They pay for the privilege as well.

They don't have to. Doing riding exercises. It's their option. They want to be involved. They don't have to be involved. Good on you, Kieran. And, yeah, doing us a service. A groggy as I like to call them.

I'm not from Nottingham. It means something different here. You are suffering from thrush. That's what it means here. That was Grace. When a creek is blocked by's what it means here. That was Grace. When a creek is blocked by a plastic cutlery. That was Marcel. I think that deserved more credit, but hey.

No one even seemed to consider it. No. Maybe I should have done a bit of a serene action. I think we're not far enough into the apocalypse to have specific words for specific kinds of littering. Yes. I mean, if it was just plastic, I could have considered it. But the cutlery, what are they?

So plastic, something else that's plastic. Condoms? Are they plastic? No. Who can think of a second thing that's plastic? Lego bricks. Oh, that's good. That's good.

Then you could build a dam. That would be cute. Little Lego beavers. That would be so cute. A day off work because you have an unspoken illness. That was the house. Oh. That was me.

Kieran didn't have to get involved there. Grace, you'll feel better about that. Thank you. I'm worried about this unpaid labour. Meaning the correct answer was Marcel's. A ride on the handlebars of a bicycle. Awesome. There was one that I didn't even

go through. I am from Nottingham and Croggy is my nana. That was written by Seren. So it took you so long because you changed your answer midway and rewrote. Okay. No, that was my first thought. So that means I kind of love

Croggy as a nan. I can picture her. Croggy is an awesome name for a nan. I want someone to draw that. Oh, Krogi, not again. She's fallen in a creek. She's blocked it up. You know why? It's because she fell in a creek, but she's also the OG.

So Krogi is everything's important. Look at this guy. He's freaking doing sums on a window. Genius. So that means one point in that round goes to Marcel, two points to the house. It feels good to be a winner. All right, we're up to question number two now.

This one comes from Sam Lacey from Manchester in the UK. And the question is, what did 50 Cent tweet on the 26th of August 2010? What did 50 Cent tweet on the 26th of August 2010? While you're writing your answers, here's some more info on Croggy. To be honest, there wasn't much more than just the definition on it, but the Collins Dictionary had like a blog listicle. Serena would probably call that a blistical, I guess,

about other local Nottingham words. A blistical is when you wear new shoes for the first time and you walk a long time and your whole foot becomes a blister. All right, it's contagious, I reckon, Grace. You're sitting too close to Serena. Oh, God, I've caught the portmanteau disease. So, yeah, this listicle had some other local Nottingham lingo, including tabs.

Your tabs are your ears, an example is. He had such big tabs that they used to call him the FA Cup. Marty is another one. If you say that someone is Marty, you mean that they whine and complain a lot, especially if they lose at a game, as an example. Why don't you just accept that you lost, you Marty git? You can keep that up your sleeve for later. Yawn.

Yawn is a dialect form of the pronoun yours. Is that mine or yawn? In fact, many East Midlands pronouns end in N. Ours becomes ourn. Hers becomes earn. And myself becomes missin'. That's fun. I love this because it's like their language, but they still.

Yeah. They're not like we're finished. Yeah. It's always evolving. It's always evolving. And finally, knobby greens. The local name for Brussels sprouts is knobby greens. You can't beat knobby greens with Christmas dinner.

That's them putting it in a sandwich. Do you know Brussels sprouts have evolved? Like they taste better than they used to? They genetically modified them, right? They did it on purpose. So eating them as an adult. A Brussels sprout would not evolve on purpose to taste better. That is not in the evolutionary best interest of a Brussels sprout.

This is true. There was intervention. There was an intervention. Maybe it kind of is because then we keep growing the Brussels sprouts. Oh, a Brussels sprout. This is true. There was intervention. There was an intervention. It kind of is because then we keep growing the Brussels sprouts. Oh, that's true. This is true. Either way, they were going to die out. We eat them or we stop eating them.

Either way, knobby green is spot on. That's exactly what it is. If I saw a Brussels sprout and I was an alien, I would be like knobby green. If you were an alien. Yeah. An alien with a naming convention of shape and color yes my preferred kind of alien all right so the answers are in here's question number two

what did 50 cent tweet on the 26th of august 2010 you won't find me in a club i don't care if it's your birthday shorty i'm too old for that shit some people people snowboard, some people ski. Me, I like to toboggan. Hell yeah. I can't believe my grandmother's making me take out the garbage. I'm rich. Fuck this. I'm going home. I don't need this shit.

I love beans. If I had my time again, my rapper name would be 50 Beans. Rafflecopter, or I'm 50 Cent and I'm here to stay, portmanteaus are here to stay, Cation. This is good stuff. It's fun to have fun. So I don't know if you need any of those again.

I'd like that last one again, please. Remembering this is 2010. Yeah. Before they had potmentos. Yeah, I don't know if that is. When did staycation get into the lexicon? Do you need to hear any of them again? Or are you ready to lock in?

Yeah, I locked in first, so I shan't be going first again. Grace, do you want to have a crack? I reckon it's the grandma one. If I was him, I would also be like, fuck this, I'm rich. Yeah, but I think he would call her Meemaw. Oh. Is that a 50 cent thing? That's not a...

You can cut that. We need to establish Americanisms for grandma. I feel like it's an American thing. I don't think they're always Meemaw. I think that's like Deep South is a Meemaw or something. I've never heard the term Meemaw. Sometimes they're like nanny or like. Hey, some of us call them Croggy.

I think. This is a grandma heavy episode. Shout out to my nana. She ain't heavy. She's my grandma. The grandma's good, but I like 50 Beans. 50 Beans? Yeah, I'm 50 Beans. 50 Beans? Yeah, I'm going for it.

50 Beans? I like 50. My first one was the take the garbage out as well, so I think I'm going to lock that in. All right. Let's go through who wrote the answers. You won't find me in the club. That one was written by the house, in particular Sam, the question writer.

I relate, Sam. Some people snowboard, some people ski. Me, I like to toboggan. That was Marcel. Well, I've got to laugh. I'm happy with that. I'm 50 cent. You were meant to embody the character of 50 cent, Marcel,

not just confess your own passions in life. Lack of hand-eye coordination. Hey, toboggan requires effort. No, it doesn't. It requires gravity and a slope. There's handles though, aren't there? Aren't there little toboggan handles? I think they have go-karts.

Oh, okay. Billy karts. Okay. I really think a toboggan, you're at the mercy of the world. Yeah. And isn't that exciting? You just go until you stop. But don't you think that 50 Cent would be the sort of guy

who would enjoy that sort of thing? Oh, yeah. Yeah. I think so. I think you got right in his head there. I'm 50 Cent. I'm here to say Portmanteaus are here to staycation. That was Saran.

I'm shocked. I'm shocked by this news. Rufflecopter, which I think just is very 2010, I think, was Grace. Thank you. That's a good one. Beautiful. I was online. I sent you two others, but you didn't read them Grace. Thank you. That's a good one. Beautiful. I was online. I sent you two others, but you didn't read them out.

Do you identify as very online? I mean, no, but I think that's an indication of the fact that I am. Okay. Wait, was I meant to read all? I only got the last one. Was I meant to say the first? Yeah, I thought I could send you some options, but I didn't know. Oh, I mean, you can now okay then that would i remember that i'm also in the game so

i mean i would probably pick the worst one oh okay that's true i mean i wouldn't but i'm trying yeah but you know just trying to throw some ideas out here make this a writer's well let's just go through the other options here i wish to become part of the scary movie universe. That's good stuff. I wish. I like the wish part. He's just putting it out there to the universe. When you just read that out in my head, I was like,

I didn't hear that option. I think that's the one. I think that's it. I would have put that in. Sorry, Grace. I just cut and paste the bottom one, assuming that that was all there was. Sorry.

I wish to be part of this game. That is good stuff. I don't know if he was or not, but he might have been. Even if he was, the wish. It could just be a wish that came true, yeah. I love beans. If I had my time again, my rapper name would be 50 Beans, which Soren picked.

That was the house. Yeah. Good stuff. That was a prayer. Hail Mary. I wanted it to be true. Sam, the question writer, wrote, I love beans, and I just had a little bit of spice on the end.

I thought saying my rapper name would have shown you that that's 50 cents. Anyway, my rapper name. It's clear from that how little we have an understanding of rap music. We're like, yeah, he has a rapper name. Meaning the correct answer is I can't believe my grandmother's making me take out the garbage. I'm rich. Fuck this.

I'm going home. I don't need this shit. Hell, yeah, me and Grace. I love that. So a point for Grace, a point for Marcel, and a point for the house. 57 seems great on Twitter. I don't know. Oh, yeah.

I mean, in 2010 he was. That does not mean that he's not an anti-vaxxer now. Oh, is he an anti-vaxxer. I don't know. Oh, yeah. I mean, in 2010 he was. That does not mean that he's not an anti-vaxxer now. Oh, is he an anti-vaxxer? I don't know. But sometimes people who you thought were funny in 2010 are horrific now. This is true. Yeah, that tweet has since been deleted. I found it on a listicle.

Oh, sorry, Sam found it on a listicle. Probably his grandma was mad at him. What was it, like top ten grandma tweets or something like that? Top ten tweets about rappers about their grandmas. All right, so question number three. This one comes from Jack Beath from Cannawindra, New South Wales. Now, you live in New South Wales. I do.

Do you know Cannawindra? Cannawindra I don't, but I do know Jack Beath. Okay. I get the feeling, based on the question that Canna Windra might be in a rural area. But let's see. What rural related. I thought Canna Windra was the name of the person writing the album.

First name Canna, last name Windra? Yeah. Yeah, right. She seems like a powerful woman. I don't know. What rural-related record did Lou Brown break on the 27th of April 2019 in Western Australia? Can you give us that again?

It's a nice sounding, you know, phrase. I think it was, yeah, the triple R there. What rural-related record did Lou Brown break on the 27th of April 2019 in WA, Western Australia? You have a lovely timbre to your voice, Matt. It's nice to hear. Could I get that first sentence one more time, please?

Sorry. Well, there is only one sentence. That's the one I want. Okay. What rural-related record did Lou Brown break on the 27th of April 2019 in Western Australia? It's very impressive. The R's, you didn't stumble at all.

I can't even speak this sentence. But the rural-related record. I've had recent dental surgery. I don't even know why I tried that. It's hard. My tongue's numb. Okay, rural related to record. All right. And while you're writing your answers, I'll let the audience know a little bit more about what 50 Cent has been up to lately. Yeah. I couldn't tell them any more

about what happened with the garbage, but there was an article from a couple of weeks ago on Entertainment Weekly that said 50 Cent revealed that he and Eminem are in the process of adapting Eminem's semi-autobiographical film 8 Mile for television. We're in motion, 50 Cent said of the project in an interview with Big Boy TV. It's going to be big. You know, I ain't got no duds. All right. Here is question three.

What rural-related record did Lou Brown break on the 27th of April 2019 in Western Australia? Longest game of continuous two-up, having started two days earlier on Anzac Day? Fastest camel slaughter? God, that's awful. That hit me just a couple of seconds after reading it out. You said it with no emotion.

Question. reading it out. You said it with, yeah, no emotion. Question. Is it the quickest camel slaughter or did he slaughter the fastest camel? Oh. There's a third option as well. How many camels? Is it one camel killed quickly or is it multiple camels killed

in quick succession? I feel like you wouldn't want to kill the fastest camel. That's the camel you need to stick around. You want to get the slowest camel. Why do you need the quickest camel? I don't know, to get places. It's WA, there's a lot of space. How do you think we got the tastier Brussels sprouts?

Engineering. They're the ships of the desert. This is true. I learned that from Agrabah. Shearing the most merino ewes in an eight-hour day with a whopping 457. Most consecutive olives popped from his belly button into his mouth. Yucky. Six.

It's not heaps. Sorry, was that colon six? Was that parentheticals? Brackets. Oh, yeah. Parentheticals. Parentheticals. That's what Americans call brackets. Oh, yeah. Parentheticals. Parentheticals. That's what Americans call brackets, right?

Yeah. Parentheses. Sorry, what did I say? We don't know. We lost you for a second there. You went all blurry. You lost the ability to talk. I wanted to use a multi-

You went into a different dimension for some reason. I wanted to use multiple multi-syllables. He went into a different dimension for some reason. I wanted to use multiple syllables and I freaked out. Growing the largest zucchini ever recorded on rural records, which incidentally are not very well maintained. I can't imagine. Or the rural-related record was riding race cars around red ropes rapidly. Ooh, that was fun.

Jeez. I wonder who wrote that. I love when there's a tongue twister and I'm doing it before I knew it was fun. Jeez. I wonder who wrote that. I love when there's a tongue twister and I'm doing it before I knew it was one and then I'm in the middle of it and I'm like feeling like I'm on a bucking bronco and I can't, if I get through the end of it without fucking it up, I feel electric. It's like accidentally getting on a water slide.

You're like, I'm in it now. Yeah, exactly. You also, you got so cocky in your story and analogy about it, you used bucking bronco. You're like, I'm doing it right now as we speak. We're at two beats. Yeah, so, I mean, there's a mix of answers there. I feel like there was eight more than usual in there.

Did people just throw in another one? Yeah, I read all five of Grace as well. Serena, have you had a crack first up yet? No. I think that the record would be, well, I can tell you what it's not. Okay. Your answer. Yeah, it's not the alliteration one.

It's not the olive one, I don't think, because I think that you'd get way more than six. Consecutively. Popping it from your belly button into your mouth. Or way less, but I just don't think, because I think that you'd get way more than six. Consecutively. Popping it from your belly button into your mouth. Or way less, but I just don't think it would be six. Okay, so they're ruled out. What was the, I think it could be the. Fastest camel slaughter?

No, I don't want to believe it's that. Longest game of two up? No. Most merino used sheared? That's the one. That's what I reckon. Or larger zucchini? Because Merino could be zucchini.

Because the thing is, like, I feel like sheep shearing has only happened in rural places. And it is a competition. Yeah. They do that competitively everywhere. They love to shear these sheep so quick i don't know how the sheep feel about it i think the sheep are like could we take a little bit more time yeah i actually love it i kind of wish a hairdresser

would do that to me of like hold my arms up and like just hold me while they cut off my hair it looks soothing i think you know have you ever had one where they just put your head back out of nowhere into like a bucket of water? Yeah. That's so nice. That feels so good. A bucket. Well, I assume.

I can't see it. It's behind my head, but pretty funny stuff. Anyway, what were we doing again? So has anyone had a guess yet? I don't think so. So, Ren, you've ruled a few out and you're going to – He went with the sheep. All right.

Grace, what are you thinking? I think the sheep is like the most sensible answer, but I'm also like why would you ask the question if it was sheep because sheep feels obvious. Well, that's good logic. And also merinos, it feels like too much detail, much the way that plastic cutlery did before. What was the first one?

First one was longest game of continuous two up. Yeah, I reckon it's two up. I don't want to double up this time, so I'm going to vote for fastest camel slaughter. Love it. All right. Here's who wrote the answers. You call yourself a vegan.

I don't. That's true. The riding race cars round red ropes rapidly. That was Marcel. And I appreciate you letting me have that little victory there with the tongue twister. I did it for you. Growing the largest zucchini.

That was Seren. And I think, Seren, if you had the discipline to not do the joke at the end, that was very guessable. I mean, I've been in writing sessions with Seren and, like, encouraging him not to undercut, you know, the emotional truth of a bit so quickly with the joke, you know? Yeah. Yeah, I could undercut this very emotional moment,

but I'll let it hang there. The most consecutive olives popped from his belly button into his mouth. That was The House. I'll base that one off a vague memory of one of the Hot Shots movies. I think Emilio Estevez maybe does that. Hot Shots, part dua. Maybe, yeah. It feels like the only way you could

do that with an olive is if it had the structural integrity of still having its pit. In which case, now you've got pit in your mouth. Yeah, especially if you swish it right down the throat. I'm loving Grace's logic. She's got the best logic at the table. And you finally use your catchphrase now you've got pit in your mouth, which is a great

catchphrase. Longest game of Continuous 2-Up, that was The House, in particular Jack, the question writer. It's looking good for Camel Slaughter. Camel Slaughter was great. Oh, damn it. Meaning the correct answer was Shearing the Most Merino Youth. Oh, God.

I knew it was. There's a bit like, you're right, Grace, I'll often, you know, try and go for the funny ones, but, yeah, sometimes there's just not that many funny facts out there. I was on a hot streak. And it's good to have a little mix-up. Oh, you got the first two right there. So that is one point for Grace, one point for a Saran,

one point for the house. Oh, it's a tight game. I also, I just couldn't picture a zucchini growing in WA. It seems like too dusty. I mean, I know it's a big zone, but, like, they need wet heat. Down the southwest? Oh, yeah, maybe. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Everything's getting wetter as well. Western Australian zucchini growers are yelling at me as I speak. I'm so sorry. It's the biggest zucchini on rural records. Yeah. Which aren't well maintained. And also, yeah, you know, it doesn't beat them big city zucchinis. No, there would definitely be.

Yeah, I've been to Woolies. These zucchinis getting off buses in the big city trying to make it. We're up to question number four. This one comes from Jim Bates from Sackett's Harbour in New York. Sackett's Harbour. Question number four. This one comes from Jim Bates from Sackets Harbour in New York. Sackets Harbour.

And Jim's question is, what are the names of the twin polar bears who were the official mascots of the 1988 Winter Olympics in Calgary, Canada? The 1988 Winter Olympics in Calgary, Canada, had twin polar bears were the mascots. What were their names? And while you're writing your answers, here's a little bit more information about the record. According to Sheep Central, New Zealand-born Shearer,

and you're from New Zealand, are you, Grace? My family is. Yeah, the first person in my family to be born in Australia. It's a very confusing experience. No one understands a single one of my references and people in New Zealand don't like them either. Hopefully this gives you a little bit of pride, though, in the connection.

Oh, yeah. New Zealand-born shearer Lou Brown has put in the quickest ever day of merino shearing to smash a world record, which has withstood at least four other attempts since it was set 16 years ago, at least four. But he did it in WA. Did it in WA, yeah. Of course it was a Kiwi.

They're fucking so good at shearing sheep, man. Have you watched them before? It's incredible. I think he broke the record of another Kiwi. I also love the guy whose job it is to bring the sheep. There's like the shearer guy who's trying to beat the record, and then there's the guy who's like, neck sheep, neck sheep, neck sheep. Like he's putting sheep under you like you're a competitive eater kind of thing.

That's a good point. An important gig, yeah. So Brown was raised in Napier. I think Napier is the capital of Art Deco architecture. Fun fact about Napier, it has an Art Deco festival every year because it was flattened by an earthquake in the 1930s and completely rebuilt in Art Deco. And my mum has always wanted to go to the Art Deco Festival.

So for her, it was her wedding, it was like their wedding anniversary and my 21st and something else, and we all went to the Art Deco Festival and she went hard. She got us all like hats, gloves, 1930s, 1940s dresses. Oh, wow. We were doing it all. Is that much of a change for your normal life? Yes.

It was more gloves. More gloves. My nana kept getting mad at me for ruining the outfit by looking at my phone. And I was like, Grace, you're taking me out of it. But I was like, if I was in period, I'd be smoking. So I got to do something with my hands. I'm probably giving birth to your seventh child.

Yeah, exactly, at 13. but i was posting a lot on instagram because i was having such a good time of like my family in our outfits but to everyone following me on instagram it just looked like that was what our family did on holiday yeah it meant everyone was like what's happening and eventually i had to like pan to the rest of the town to be like, everyone else is doing it too, okay? All right, so here is question number four. What are the names of the twin polar bears who were the official mascots of the 1988 Winter Olympics in Calgary, Canada? Frost and Bite, Chili and Willie, Marrick and Watch Check,

Heidi and Howdy, Paul and Lars, or Jaden and Caden? These are all fun. Yeah. I love fun. I'm here to have fun. This is maybe the cutest question we've had so far. It is quite cute. I wish there were more polar bears in the world so that we could name them.

We only need two names at the moment. Yeah, but if we had more polar bears, we could use all the names. I don't know. We've got like four polar bears total left. They have to keep swimming between ice things. Yeah between X Games. They're exhausted. Between X Games and posing for Bundaberg rum.

I think the fact that there's only so few polar bears left means it rules out Caden and Jaden. Yeah. Because there's plenty of Caden's and Jaden's. We don't need those names represented in the polar bear community. I do really like Frost and Bite, but I wonder if they'd try, like, you know, that sounds a bit aggressive, like the Bite part.

You know, they wouldn't want their mascots to be thought of as they're going to bite the children or bite the competitors. That's true. I assume they don't go separately because if Bite just shows up separately, everyone's like, oh, boy, the snowboarding event is about to take a turn. My sister and I had guinea pigs growing up and I had two and she had two and mine were called Velvet and Silky because I named them after what they feel like, obviously. And she named hers Ginger and Beer.

Oh, I like that. Because the second one was Brown and the first one was called Ginger, which makes sense when you put them together and say, this is Ginger and Beer. But when you're just hanging out with a guinea pig called Beer, people want to call child services. Can you run us through these again but introduce them as if you are introducing the new mascots?

Yeah, you've got to be one. Or like wrestlers. Oh, that's good. Mesdames and messieurs. Yeah, a bit Canadian, please. Canadian, eh? Bees, welcome, eh? The new Canadian Olympic mascots, eh?

Frost and Bite, eh? All right, time to lock some in. I think it's back to you myself I think I might do the what are they

Polish names Wojciech and Marek and Wojciech yeah why not I've got in with Frost Frost and Bay

yep I think Heidi and Howdy for grace alright locked in well that's not

a bad guess here's who wrote none of them are bad guesses it's guessing here's who wrote the None of them are bad guesses. It's guessing. Here's who wrote the answers. Jaden and Caden, that was the house, in particular Jim. Good on you, Jim.

Chili and Willie, also the house. So no points for the house this round. Paul and Lars, that was Marcel. Can I break down the intricacies of like what's behind the curtain there? It's Paul, and then I cleverly called them Paul and La. I think that's too deep. What were the Sydney Olympic mascots called? Ollie, Millie and Senny.

Sydney? Millennial because it was 2000. Oh, actually. Sid for Sydney and Ollie for Olympics. Never mind. I thought you went too far into it. That's apparently how they do it. Okay, never mind.

So what was Senny? Oh, Century. But that would have been doubling up on Ellie. Senny. Senny. Senna Link. Senna. He was the rejected mascot.

It's his villain origin story. Just a koala being like, I wasn't chosen. Who do you, Seren, you went for Frost and Bart? Yes, please. That was Grace. Oh, well done. It was a great answer. Thank you.

Marcel, you went for Marac and Wojcik. That was Seren. Now, Seren, how would you have wanted me to pronounce those? If I asked, I would have obviously given the game away. I was pretty happy with how you pronounced it. But the thinking was similar to yours, Marcel. But I made the mistake of not thinking about polar bears. I thought about Polish bears.

Well, that worked on Marcel. It worked very well, actually. I thought there's no way that any of these bozos would write something, you know, so culturally interesting. Meaning Grace was correct. Hardy and Howdy. So two points for Grace, one point for Serene in that round. Hardy and Howdy, that's so cute.

Grace is coming out in front. My childhood teddy bear is a polar bear. Guess what her name is? Polly. Pola. Pola. That's a great name. Oh, really?

I was going to say like, I don't know, Jaeger shots. Do you still have your childhood? Yeah. Really? Yeah. I wish I had at least one of my plushes, one of my soft toys, but they're gone. I have never been without her.

Initially, my dad brought her back from deployment and I was obsessed with her. And initially she was a boy. But when I was about nine, I started sewing clothes and I realised that trousers are way harder to make than skirts. So she's a girl now. That's how it happens. Interesting.

Trans icon, my childhood teddy. All right, question number five comes from Alex Chase from Pendleton in Oregon. The question is, what did German fashion designer Anki Damaske invent? Was there a time? Yeah, that's what I was going to ask. In what era?

It doesn't say. Oh, it doesn't say. Anki Damaske. Yeah. But because it's a question, it's not pants or jumpers. It's something a little off kilter. Yes, true. Pants would be a little too hard to sew, I think.

They are. You've got to do an inseam. It's a nightmare. Skirt's just two rectangles, man. How do you spell anki? A-N-K-E. Oh, I nailed it. Would I be saying that right?

Are you Googling it? No, I just wrote. Is that allowed? I wrote the name. I've been Googling this whole time. He's going to work it into a. I'm still failing. A portmanteau.

I'm actually doing an acrostic for these pants. While you're writing your answers, here's some more info about Heidi and Howdy. According to Jim, the mascots appeared briefly in the 1993 movie Cool Runnings, which is set at the Calgary Olympics. And according to the Olympics website, the mascots' names represent the Calgary region's hospitality.

Thus, Heidi is an extension of Hi, and Howdy is short for how do you do. A typical Western American greeting apparently is Howdy. These names were chosen by a citizen's jury following a contest organised by Calgary Zoo that attracted almost 7,000 entries. I think I say howdy a bit. There is a lot of ironic Americanisms that have slipped into the Australian lexicon. Things start ironic.

I like a howdy. Yeah. I've been known to say y'all and then I'm like, what the fuck? Also, y'all is nice and inclusive. Hey, what are y'all doing? And someone's like, say use like a real Australian. I'm like, I don't. I don't like people when they get really upset.

I said use just as like, you know, just I didn't care. I said use the other day. And someone was like, that actually makes me really angry. I'm like, you need to get better. You need to relax, my friend. Have you heard about global warming? Have you heard about child poverty? You're going to lose your mind.

Oh, you don't think language matters? You think we're going to come up with a solution about global warming? Have you heard about child poverty? You're going to lose your mind. Oh, you don't think language matters? You think we're going to come up with a solution to global warming when we can't even speak to one another? He might have been like, why are you talking about sheep all of a sudden? That's just true. It's like when my dad gets mad that he can't use the word gay to mean happy. I'm like, you can. You'll sound a hundred.

How old is your dad? Like in his 50s. 97. I'm like, you are super able to do that, man. People will be confused. It's interesting. Saran's been the one who's really. He's either typing a very long answer or he does like one letter per second.

He's doing his text. Like, don't ever mind, Si. I've got to think per second. He's doing his text. I don't have a mind tie. I've got to think of words. He's texting his fans. What's Thor really like? And Serene's like, well, here's a little fun behind the scenes scoop about Sam Neill. Sam Neill was lovely actually.

I bet he was. Of course. He seems like a really nice guy. A New Zealand hero. Matt Damon, beautiful man. Yeah. Like did you share any words with any celebs around the catering table or anything like that?

Were you allowed to sit near them or did you have your own section? I had my own trailer. No, you didn't. Yeah. You had your own trailer? I did. It was tiny but I think they give you a trailer so you're not in the space of the real celebs.

You had a tiny trailer all to yourself. You were in time out. It's a whole class system, exactly, yeah. The extras just have a hanger and they're all in the hanger looking like, I don't know, they're waiting, processing or something. In the script, did you have dialogue? No. But you still got a trailer.

Wow, that's huge. Yeah, I don't know why I got anything, to be honest, but I think it's because I was involved with the celebrities. So you can't cast, you can't just put extras next to Sam Neill. He refuses. Yeah. Anyway. What a scoop.

This could be in Deadline Hollywood. My answer's in? Yes. I'll read the answer one more time and if any of you want to change your answers, let me know. What did German fashion. That makes it sound like we have done a bad job.

No, maybe one of you have, but I don't want to point anyone out. What did German fashion designer Anke Damaske invent? Everyone happy? Happy? A lot of emphasis on fashion there. Yeah. Okay, interesting. So Ren immediately grabbed his phone.

So... So Ren said fascist designer. I mean, a fashion designer could invent something not involved in fashion. Oh, twist. I like that. That's true. They're not limited to fashion.

Also, many fashion designers are also fascists. That's true. You heard about Coco Chanel? Hugo Boss? Famous Nazi. Really? Yeah. Some of my favourite designers are Nazis.

Come on, that was pretty good. That's not a bad answer, though. No, I didn't mind. I was happy to answer. That's what I was saying. Okay, let's leave it in. Just double checking. I mean, you've sort of given a little away.

Because Soren's not hot on the market, it sounds like he's storming out of the room. All right, so the answers are in. Here's question number five. What did German fashion designer Anki Damaske invent? Wait, fashion? Go back to the first one. The reversible jacket.

Ooh. A line of pants made specifically for chickens. That bin with the pedal. Some people call it a Volkswagen A jumpsuit that converts into a tent Earmuffs Clothing made out of milk Okay, this is good stuff

Yeah Some of the brightest minds in Australian comedy Yeah, and one of the brightest minds in German fashion So good at fashion that he moves into everyday household objects. You know what I mean? Yeah. Now he's inventing bins. For the shade for the Volkswagen.

Yeah, does that mean it is the car? The bin with the pedal, otherwise known as the pedal bin. Also, there's one over there. It's always good to get an insight into the process. Was the Volkswagen also a fetish? Or another insight there? Depends who you ask. Somebody asked me what it's like to be a woman in comedy.

I meant fascist. I meant fascist. Yeah, probably. I don't know. It's the people's wagon. Grace, do you have a thought here? You didn't say mine. But now you can't say it I think I did

I'll go back through them all And if it sounds like one has been left out I reckon jumpsuit that converts into a tent Because that sounds very German And like very useful Yeah, it's all about function Are you still in the jumpsuit? No

Oh, I assume you have to get naked to get your tent Yeah, it's all about function. Yeah. Are you still in the jumpsuit? No. Okay. Oh, I assume you, yeah, you have to get naked to get your tent. And then you have to be naked before you have a tent to get changed into. Or you just have to sleep in a jumpsuit in the wild. It's a tight tent. I was sort of expecting it to be like in that James Bond movie where he has like a snow shield that comes out when an avalanche happens i think it was james bond like you'd sort of pop up yeah it sort of inflates around you or whatever like you'd pull a you'd pull a drawstring and then like the tent

forms around you like one of those big plastic hamster balls that you get inside and roll down a hill yeah that'd be fun except for the rolling part. Yeah, I don't think it would be fun. I think I might get a concussion. Sounds awful. All right, let me just run through them one more time. Reversible jacket, pants made for chickens, bin with the pedal, jumpsuit. Bit with the fur. Jumpsuit converting into a tent, earmuffs or clothing made out of milk.

Despite Marcel kind of making it sound r this he's still locking that in um i mean i don't know maybe yeah no i like it whoever wrote it i like it it might not be true and sometimes in bad inventions are made a lot of the time yeah yeah fascism one of the worst inventions and also like the plane, we love that now. When the Wright brothers started on that, everyone was like, do you want to die? Do you reckon they were ever lambasted in the papers and someone said more like the wrong brothers?

Did anyone ever say that? God, I have said that. Saran, what are you thinking? I am, I believe with deep down in my soul that it was the- Your soul without a visual image. I had it and then we went on this riff. Milk clothes. Yes, it's the milk clothes and that is because Marcel just fed that to me.

No, that is because often me and my partner, we don't drink milk a lot but we'll buy a bottle of milk for coffee or whatever and then we forget it's there and often it's past its expiry. And I think there's a lot of milk in the world that's past expiry and someone, Anki, is smart enough to put it to good use. Like thermals as a kid made of polypropylene which is made of milk bottles. Like thermals as a kid made of polypropylene. Yes, which is science for milk.

It's like recycled milk bottles, which is just another way of saying plastic, but it keeps you warm. But they melt if you're near the heater. Yeah. All the pyjamas I had as a child were like, don't sit near a fire. You will melt and Mickey Mouse will be on your body forever. Hot scoop on this podcast, though, that we learned that Saran doesn't have object permanence. You will melt and Mickey Mouse will be on your body forever. Hot scoop on this podcast, though, that we learned that Saran doesn't have object permanence.

You put that milk in the fridge and you're like, I don't know. There's a bit there. What about you, Marcel? I mean, I do like milk clothes. It's good fun. Reversible jacket, chicken pants, parachute. Chicken pants. Parachute. What was it? Parachute tent?

Jumpsuit tent. Ear muffs. What was the ear muff one? Just ear muffs. Oh, just that's it. Yeah. I think it fell between the cracks of it because it was between clothing milk and tent jumpsuit. I think I'll do chicken trousers.

Chicken trousers. I'm on Etsy right now'll do chicken trousers. Chicken trousers. I'm on Etsy right now looking for chicken pants. They make them. All right. There's going to be a lady out there crocheting them. Oh, look at that. Look how cute. Oh, that is cute.

And that's one of those fancy chickens. One of the fancy chickens. They've got to be all extra small, right? Well, you know, it would be relative to the size of the chickens. A large chicken would wear large chicken pants. I think about it. Or trousers for our UK listeners. Oh, yeah.

Pants means. They've been giggling away into their iPads being like, oh, that's funny. That's a funny visual. I don't know why they use pants when they have knickers right there. But knickers are knickers for ladies and pants are for boys? How does it work? Oh, I don't know. I thought it was all for everyone. Yeah, knickerbockers.

That was in America. That's not in New York. I don't see gender. Oh, all right. Wow. Cool. Here's who wrote the answers. You see bins.

The reversible jacket. And no internal thoughts. Reversible jacket was Marcel. Earmuffs was Grace. The bin with the pedal was Saranan The jumpsuit that converts into a tent That was the house The line of pants made specifically for chickens That was also the house

Specifically Alex The questioner Two points for the house Meaning the correct answer was clothing made out of milk One point to Saran Wow That's cool Very happy with that

And also the chicken pants Because you know when you're buying eggs, it's like cage, free, field, whatever. But it's not – you're not considering what they're wearing. You know what I mean? Trousered. I just don't think it would exist. Well, I don't think you'd make them on an industrial scale.

I think this is for – I mean this isn't real, but for pet chickens. Yeah. But who are we to say that free range isn't like free balling? You know, it's like that's what it means. If a free range chicken, it means that it's not wearing pants. Plus if a chicken was wearing pants, then it laid an egg, then it shit its pants. The egg goes down the leg.

You've egged your pants, chicken. How embarrassing. Have I got a record so far for no one choosing any of my answers? Is there a record for that? Similar to rural records. Ours aren't very well kept. I also said T-shirts that say funny slogans like fish fear me, women fear me, et cetera.

But then. Wait, is that on the same shirt? It's one shirt that says women fear me, fish fear me. I realised as I wrote it that that's not what the shirt says, but it is what it should say. I like it. That's T- shirts in one episode. What was the other one?

Get that pit in your mouth or something? I missed it again, Grace. Grace, you've got to let me know if you do multiples. I don't know. I picked the one that's there. You know this has never happened before. I didn't know. I didn't know.

You found a real hole in my system, which is, yeah. I don't like that Grace is showing off by having multiple great answers and I'm here with- I mean, my first answer was earmuffs, which is why I wrote the second answer. Yeah, my strategy is to look around the room. Okay, Ben, Ben, what's that got to do with fashion? Fuck fashion. Forget fashion.

German, but think in German. Volkswagen, yeah. We're up to question number six. Second last question here. How many questions? Okay, sorry. I should have let you finish that sentence. How many questions?

Seven questions. And this is question number six. Okay, I'm going to start trying. I've been a hustler this whole time. So you can, yeah, there's still multiple points up for grabs. The last round is worth triple points as well. So it's still absolutely anyone's game. Question six comes from Lene Hurnes from Håksund in Norway.

Is it Hurnes? It's got an O with a cross through it. And Lene gave me phonetic spelling but also said they don't mind if I butcher it. But, yeah, the O with the cross through it, apparently that turns into a U sound like a U in Burns and it's spelled H-O cross to it, Y-N-E-S. You don't pronounce the O with the cross to it.

You don't pronounce that part. Oh, you just skip it. They just want you to know they don't like O's. They skip all the vowels. All right. So, Lena's question is, science fiction author Carton Mellick III is known for literary classics such as The Haunted Vagina and Barbarian Beast Bitches of the Badlands. Which of the following is another one of Carton's books? While you're writing those answers, let me tell you more about Anki's milk clothes.

Mental Floss writes, have you ever looked at a glass of milk and wondered how many t-shirts you could make from it? German fashion designer Anki did in 2011. She unveiled a fabric called Q-Milch, which was made from the protein found in milk. Other milk-based fabrics have been made, but they used chemicals. The dried milk powder is heated and comes out in yard strands. One dress used about six litres of milk. Startup company Mitero also introduced milk clothing in 2019. All right, while you're still writing your answers, let's go for a quick break.

All right, here's question number six. Which of the following is a real book by science fiction author Carton Malick III? The Tempest. Santa Stole My Mummy. The Monster of Labia Majora. Tits 2. The Secret of the Ooze.

God. I Knocked Up Satan's Daughter. Or Bigfoot Fuck me into the afterlife. I was fairly confident what I wanted to lock in and then that one came along and now I'm not so sure. I'd read all of these books for sure. Even The Tempest? Oh, not The Tempest.

I had to do that for my English degree. I don't think it could be Bigfoot fucked me into the afterlife because I would say from experience you haven't lived until you've been fucked by Bigfoot. Hey, I think Sparrow thought for Sasquatch as well, also doing some good work out there. Heavy lifting. The Bigfoot, like I think the person would be happy about it.

They're like, I got fucked by Bigfoot. We were in the snow. I died of exposure, but it was worth it. That's how good Bigfoot is at fucking. They say, oh, I'm in heaven, you know. It's sort of like, so maybe it could just be a figure of speech. Who says I'm in heaven? Everyone I've been with.

I mean, Bigfoot could be a figure of speech. Could actually be a big, anyway. Foot? Saran, do you want to lock something in here? I'm going to lock in the Tempest. I don't know why that's so funny. I mean, I was going to do that Satan's Daughter. What was that one?

I knocked up Satan's Daughter. That was really winning in terms of the. I freaked out for a second when the first few you read seemed really normal and I was like, did I mishear this previous author's questions? But I'm going to go for. Santa Stole My Mummy sounded really normal to you. And The Tempest.

Yeah, those are both normal things. The Tempest was a storm invented by William Shakespeare and Santa Stole My Mummy is also a riff on a William Shakespeare novel as well. Novel. Shakespeare famous for his novels. You did do an English degree. Referring an episode to an episode of Primates that hasn't come out yet. So you're tossing up between the last two?

Which way are you going to go? I'm going to go that That afterlife one deserves it. Great. Well, I forget all of them. Bigfoot fucked me into the afterlife. I'll go reverse order. I knocked up Satan's daughter. Tits 2, The Secret of the Ooze, The Monster of Labia Majora.

Oh, yeah, that one, that one, that one. The Monster of Labia Majora. I don't care if it doesn't exist. I'm writing it after this. And then just for your benefits around the other two were Santa Stole My Mummy and The Tempest. I think it's the, what was the one after Labia Majora?

Tits 2. Yeah, Tits 2, The Ooze. The Secret of The Ooze. Yeah. Little riff on the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles universe. Yes, which, you know, Carton Malick III often would do, I suppose.

All right, here is who wrote the answers. The Tempest. That was Saran. Yeah, I wrote that. And you voted for yourself. Do you get the point? No, I wrote The Tempest. Oh, that's cool.

Nice. That's my favourite one. Thank you. Santa Stole My Mummy. That was The House, in particular Lena. Then we had The Monster of Labia Majora. That was Marcel Oh nice

I finally got one chosen Tits 2 The Secret of the Ooze That was the house That was a little collab between me and Lena Oh yeah Lena had tits I added The Secret of the Ooze Oh yeah

Okay Bigfoot It makes me worry because Tits They don't tend to ooze. No. But there's also that famous Shakespeare quote, tits too brute.

Can I check are the ooze marina ooze or are they? Doesn't specify the breed. Well, you know, I don't know if the tits and the ooze are related. Maybe the tits solve the crime. Oh, okay't know if the tits and the ooze are related. Maybe the tits solve the crime. Oh, okay, yeah. The tits of the detective. Yeah. Bigfoot fucked me in the afterlife.

The titular detective. Grace, you wrote that one. Very well done. We chose each other. That's so nice. So the correct answer was I knocked up Satan's daughter. You were close, Marcel. So that means one point to Marcel, one point to Grace,

one point to the house. Grace is crushing it. Going into the final round. Remembering it's triple points. The scores are Saran on three points, Marcel on three points, an equal third spot. In second place on five points is Grace, but out in front on seven points, it's the house.

Really? The house is doing that well. Wow. Is it three? You can win triple points but also triple negative points if you choose the wrong one. Well, it's no negative. You're just giving three to whoever you pick.

Okay. There's no negative. You've never lost points. You have a real punishment complex. It's just so we go into like ultra rules or whatever. The danger round. The final question comes from Dave Loring from Nippaluna Hobart. And Dave's question is.

Nippaluna, new novel. You've got a lot of work ahead of you. I know. What is the plot of the 1972 film Night of the Lepus? Can you spell Lepus for us? L-E-P-U-S. Is that? Oh. Lepus? Lepus. Can you spell Lepus for us? L-E-P-U-S. Is that? Oh.

Lepus? Lepus? French for a veg. What was the plot? Lepus. Or the synopsis, you know, brief synopsis or plot of the 1972 film Night of the Lepus or Lepus. While you're writing your answers, let's have a little read

about Carlton Malick III. He's got a Wikipedia page which says he was born in 1977, an American author currently residing in Portland, Oregon. He's best known as one of the leading authors in the Bizarro movement in underground literature. Malick's work has been described as a combination of trashy schlock sci-fi horror and postmodern literary art. His novels explore surreal versions of Earth in contemporary society and imagined futures, commonly focusing on social absurdities and satire. A couple of his other novels, Tumor Fruit, Hungry Bug, Clownfellas. Clownfellas?

What do you think Clownfellas is about? I saw the cover of it. It looks like it's sort of Clown Mafia. It would be fun to be a novelist to just sort of throw out a title and then just go, all right, I'm writing that. And if you go the Stephen King method, I mean, more in the 80s of I'll do cocaine until it's finished, then, like, you've got a book.

That is the 80s method, isn't it? Well, yeah. It didn't come up much in his great book, Stephen King on Writing. It's a great book about behind-the-scenes work and how he committed to his work. But, yeah, a lot of cocaine-fuelled writing sessions, I believe. I believe it. I've read those books.

You heard the story of Carrie? Yeah, I've heard it. I find it very ambitious that a grown man was like, it's I. I will take on the period metaphor. But that's maybe why he threw it in the bin, where he was like, oh, who was I to think this is? And then apparently his wife said, hey, this is pretty good. Yeah, that does happen a lot.

Maybe she was more fed up. You're like, can you just sell one of these things? We need food. Sell this. All right. Okay, Matt. Answers are in. Here's the final question.

Triple points up for grabs. Anyone can win this. So nine points. Really? Anyone? Anyone. Okay. I suspect it's the house.

No one's even on nine points in total at the moment. Has anyone ever tried to organise a revolution on this podcast? Most weeks. What is the plot of the 1972 film Night of the Lepus? Are you happy with how I'm saying this? I should have probably looked that up. Lepus. Lepus.

But then it sounds like it's lepers, which it's not that. That's true. A young woman finds herself at the centre of a bizarre ritual when her boyfriend is revealed to be part of a cult that worships the Lepus, a strange fanged monster who brings great wealth to those willing to offer a sacrifice. Ooh. A collection of border security officers join forces

to fight off a violent invasive algae that was brought into the country on the shoe of an unsuspecting tourist. An Arizona ranch is plagued with rabbits. They begin injecting the rabbits with hormones and genetically mutated blood to disrupt rabbit reproduction. That's Wallace and Gromit. But one of the- Night of the were-rabbit?

Yeah. I've seen that one it's claymation one of the test subjects escapes resulting in a race of bloodthirsty wolf-sized rabbits who terrorize the ranch and every man and animal on it it could maybe wells and grommet did like a remake of that i prefer the remake a mysterious creature from jupiter's fifth moon visits a sleepy town to seek revenge on all who dare mock the stars on the annual night of the leapers festival the usually devout christian town of dullesville gets real loose and everyone

everyone parties hard father derrick the new reverend tries to put a stop to it but he ends up letting his hair down too and learns a little bit about himself along the way. That's a Matt classic. Or a surrealist masterpiece portraying the unlikely friendship between a baker from Queens and a nocturnal French cat named Lepus. When you say a surrealist masterpiece, is that just Soren sort of patting himself on the back

for like that synopsis that he wrote? No, I think the film itself is a surrealist masterpiece. I didn't say a Sorenist masterpiece. He also said, he didn't say La Pousse. Yeah, misprint, sorry. A French cat named La Pousse, sorry. I think Soren should get cancelled for saying La Pousse too many times. So just in quick summary, we had the cult, we had the algae,

we had the rabbits, we had the moon, the Jupiter's fifth moon, we had the devout Christian town, we had the Surrealist masterpiece. Le puss. Le puss. Who's going first? I say bring it on, cancel me. And I will do arena tours.

Yeah. I reckon Jupiter. Jupiter. I think it's the rabbits. Rabbits for Saran. I think rabbits is good, but I'm going to vote for something else. But if I can put my nerd hat on, that made me think that maybe there's like a Latin word for lapus or something like that out there

that means rabbit. I love the first one. The first one deserves my vote. That was great. What was the first one? The cult. Oh, yeah. How arrogant to be like, it deserves my vote.

All right. We're making these after this. Whoever. Yeah, they're all good. We have the funds. Yeah, they're all green lit. Let's do it. Firstly, the surrealist masterpiece was Saran.

I feel like he always reads Saran's last because he's the last one to submit. No, I've pre-ordered them and they're always shuffled. Yeah, The Tempest he read first. Oh, that's true. Before Romeo and Juliet. Saran wrote. The Town of Dullesville, Marcel, you also called that one right. That was The House.

Then we had a collection of border security officers with the algae. That was Grace. That was good fun. An important message. It deserves a green light. Thank you. Wash your shoes off before you enter the country. You need the green light to spot the algae.

And you could probably get like sponsorship from like border security for that movie. That's to be really pro. Screen Australia is like, we're making this thing. All right. That means one of you got it correct, but it was not Grace. She picked Marcel's, Jupiter's fifth moon. Oh, shit.

I knew it was a space thing. I feel like lupus is a space or star thing, I think. What is their problem with they're saying, hey, don't make fun of the stars, they love TV week. They're like, you cannot criticise Kim Kardashian. Well, in my vision that this is some sort of beast that has been compelled to travel to Earth because too many people, like when I say mock the stars, things like even travelling

into space is mocking the stars. Like to think that you, a mortal man, should be able to be in space. Oh, okay, they've got a loose definition. Because I was about to say I don't find myself mocking the stars that often. If anything. I follow them all on Instagram. But also you're not part of this sleepy town that the La Puce. No, that was a different one.

This is just a sleepy town with no name. It's best not to name it. I think maybe in this sleepy town, like they're always getting out there. What do you call them? Binoculars. The big binoculars. Telescope. The big long binocular.

The telescope. And like probably laugh at them and be like, check that out binocular. Telescope. The big long binocular, the telescope, and like probably laugh and be like, check that out. Check out that stupid star. And like that's what attracted the lapoose. From the fifth moon. Yeah. Marcel, you picked the cult one and that was written

by the house in particular, Dave. Oh, really? Loring. Good work, Dave. That was fun. Meaning Saran was correct. It was the Arizona ranch plagued with rabbits. Shit.

And I just looked it up. Lepus, the star, is the Greek word for hare at the time. So it means hare or rabbit. So we both were right about that. That's really fun. Well, I would rather watch the Curse of the Were-Rabbit though. And I get the feeling that maybe that must have been a spoof of that. In my mind, I'm always like,

I hope they're making a new Wallace and Gromit movie. Hope someone's working on that right now. Not going to check. Not going to look it up. Just got to hope. Fingers crossed someone's doing it. Manifest that. Wallace and Gromit.

It takes a long time. They've got to move the clay one minuscule moment at a time. I mean, I get that it takes a long time, but I'm hoping this one in motion. Did you watch Pinocchio? I did not. It was good fun. Okay. Yeah.

I also had Benicio Del Toro. Bloody hell. Guillermo Del Toro. Yeah. So this movie was pretty famously awful. It has a 0% rating on Rotten Tomatoes. Yikes. I didn't know you could get 0%.

Yeah. I mean, that's just what I looked up. I think it's just never had a positive review, that means. Is that what that means? That feels mean. I feel like if you've made a movie, you should at least get 1%. You made it. It's made.

But, yeah, a couple of quick reviews. Shane Burridge called it a failure on every level. Wow. And Christopher Null called it one of the worst films ever made. Oh, Nullsy. He would say that. All right, let's do a final score check. In fourth place we have Grace on five points.

Grace, are you doing a show coming up at the Comedy Festival or elsewhere? I am. I'm doing my show at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival, the Sydney Comedy Festival, the New Zealand Comedy Festival and the Edinburgh Fringe Festival. It's called This is the Last Goldfish That I'm Going To Eat For You. Great title. It's about all the stuff I did to try and make friends as a kid

because I didn't realise I had autism. All right. I think I might be the prime candidate for that show. Hell yes. I'm finding my – I have a niche audience, but they're passionate and they're out there. So please, they put me in too big a room. Please come.

On six points, one point ahead of Grace. It was Marcel with your triple points there in there. But I got chosen. But that's right, I didn't choose the right answer. I was picturing sort of a Candy Crush multiplayer where I chose the right one and then everything started doubling up and, you know. If you chose the right one and then everything started doubling up. If you chose the right one, you would have won this game. But unfortunately, you gave three points to the house.

Gosh, they don't even need them. And you're going to be doing a show, I believe, in Melbourne? This is true. I'm doing my improv show with my dear wife. It's called The Newlyweds and we get a couple of suggestions and then we improvise a funny play essentially for about 55 minutes and it's so good. It's great. A lot of people

love it. I mean, we don't know this. It's improvised. This is true. In the past it has proven to be a big success. This feels like one of the Seren's fake answers. You're patting yourself on the back there. It sounds like a surrealist master. Seren, you were also on Six Points and you're doing shows as well. I am.

I'm doing a show. It's called I'm Thinking of Taking Up Eating Goldfish. Damn it! It's at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival and the Sydney Comedy Festival and I'll be in Adelaide too. Yeah, and I'm coming to Edinburgh as well. Whoa! Makes me want to go.

That's the plan. Come along. And, Makes me want to go. That's the plan. Come along. And yeah, follow my Twitter. I'm the only person still on there. I'm on there. I'm living. I'm on there as well. Marcel the comic and Marcel the comedian on Instagram.

At Grace Jarvis. Oh, no. Write this down, listener. Stop. Pull over your car. Pull over the car. Write this down. I don't care if you have to cross three lanes of traffic.

Do it. And then write down a note saying sorry because you hit the car in front of you. But out in front on 10 points, it's the house. This is a rare victory for the house. And normally I feel weird about it, but I feel okay this week. To get three pals together and then you just win in front of us, it feels sort of sick it is well that's why i i win probably one in one in ten something like that and you were just lucky enough to be here for one of those but really it was your fault if you just

guessed the right one there you said i think lepus means rabbit but i'm gonna pick this other one i loved it i was compelled i get I get hooked when I hear it. I love the cult thing. If people like this show, and I hope you do if you've listened this far through it, we're doing a live one in Melbourne on the 9th of April at the European Beer Cafe, Easter Sunday at 2 p.m. You can grab tickets now.

Thanks so much for listening. And don't forget that mid-credits scene. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Hang around. Post credits. Oh, yeah. I'm also doing a show at the adelaide fringe and melbourne comedy festival it's called ding it's an hour of comedy always remembers the ding notice that the more successful you get the least the less specific

your show title has to be at a certain point it's just like name i've got it i've got to really put some niche into this it's like authors i just have their big author name on the point it's just like name. I've got to really put some niche into this. It's like authors that just have their big author name on the front. It's Wilbur Smith and you're like, I don't even care what Wilbur's up to this time. I'll read it. That's very nice of you to suggest I have any level of success, Grace. You and Wilbur Smith together.

Cheers for tuning in to Who Knew With Matt Stewart. Now that you know it, I've been Matt Stewart. Goodbye. What an episode. It was a real break, so I can say whatever I want. I mean, you can say whatever you want at any point. Oh, okay. I do.

I edit these episodes, so. I hope we haven't given you, I hope I haven't given you too much fuss. No, I don't think so. It's fine. Are you still doing primates? Sometimes. Nice. It sort of comes and goes.

If anyone wants to do it, I'll do it. Have you done the Yogo Gorilla as an episode? No, I haven't done the Yogo Gorilla. I was not allowed to eat the Yogo Gorilla as an episode? No, I haven't done the Yogo Gorilla. I was not allowed to eat the Yogo yogurt, but I had a video, like a computer CD-ROM video game of the Yogo Gorilla. And he was in like a submarine and he was underwater. Whoa. And I didn't really understand his motivations because I didn't,

I never had his yogurt. Like, what are we? You need to eat his yogurt to get him. Yeah. Are you saying you're sort of not an empath? You didn't have the idea? Well, I liked it a lot. I remember really liking it.

But also it was probably like the first time I'd ever played a video game, so it was probably just me being like, wow, games are fun. Previously I've only had books. This could be a Primates episode we've just done within this episode. Yes. This is a little post credit scene, which is a mini primates episode. Oh, great. I can put it, I'll put the theme music on and everything.

Yeah, great. Do it at the end. That'd be great. My favorite bit is when there's a guy on a telephone and he says, Barry, Barry. And then I think the phone gets knocked down and then he says, I'll get back to you, Barry. Because he's got bigger problems.

Yeah, that is a good bit. And it was like a spoof of Bad Boys. Yeah, maybe Bad Boys or Lethal Weapon. Oh, this was an ad for the group. Yeah, there was a snake in it. There was a snake. The snake was in the submarine. Yeah.

I just had like a vision ahead to like when, because I think with all the pop culture that we've absorbed absorbed that when in the future we're in the old folks home and we're just muttering deranged things and grace is there going there was a snake in the submarine they're like okay miss jarvis this way to bed he wanted his yogurt it's true actually it was so easy for my grandma like there was just one book. The Bible. The Bible. That was it. Then we're like, oh, my God.

They can get the references. Oh, okay. Yeah, I get it. I never got to eat yoga. I don't understand the gorilla's motivations. All right. I've had it since. It's good.

But did it elucidate you? Well, I don't have access to the game anymore. Maybe if I had some and then I played the game, I'd be better at the game. Welcome to Primates, the podcast where we explore primates and popular culture from Chimpanzee all the way down to Chimpanzee. I'm your host, Matt Stewart, and this week joining me in the monkey house, we've got Soren Jayamana, Grace Jarvis, and Marcel Blanche DeWild. Nice to be here.

Sorry for forcing this upon you. Hey, no worries. So you wanted to talk about, what did you want to talk about? The yoga gorilla video game. I love it. It's a great commercial that spawned a series of commercials and also I believe probably a promotional game that must have come your way somehow.

Somehow. But you were not allowed to eat it. It clearly didn't come to me via the yogurt. Hold on. What's the difference between being allowed to eat it and like having it bought for you? Like if you had been at a friend's house and eaten some yoga, would your parents have been upset?

No, I don't think so. Well, I don't think that you were allowed to eat it then. I just didn't have the means to acquire it on my own. And hence the meaning of the video game. His parents would not let him have yoga and he travelled under the sea, across the forest or desert. There's usually a water level and an ice level

and there's usually like probably a jungle level. Yeah, definitely a jungle level. Yeah, it must have been slightly ripping off Donkey Kong. All places that famously don't have supermarkets. Once again, I did not have access to a lot of pop culture so I would not have even noticed that it was ripping off Donkey Kong.

But now that I think about it, yes, it was. You grew up in some sort of old village where you had to wear the same clothes, like the M. Night Shyamalan movie, The Village. My parents forgot to tell me about music. I had like four CDs and one of them, I had Hits for Kids 3, Hits for Kids 6, Cat Stevens, Tea for the Tillerman and So Fresh 2011. Hey, if you had Hits for Kids 3, Hits for Kids 6, Cat Stevens, Tea for the Tiller Man and So Fresh 2011. Hey, if you had Tea for the Tiller Man, they told you all you need to know about

music. That's a fantastic record. The first song on Hits for Kids 3, which was one of my like primo CDs that I owned is, it says We Will Rock You, Backstreet Boys and I was like, well, I don't know who the Backstreet Boys are,

but I guess they're musical geniuses because this song slaps. Yeah, right. And I didn't realise that it was a cover until I was like 16, whereupon my dad was horrified and I was like, whose job was it to tell me about Queen? You just made me. Usually the cool kids at school and stuff are the ones. Unfortunately, it was the drama kids at school, which was not cool.

Everyone he taught me about music were the people I had crushes on and wanted to impress. Did you ever do that? I didn't have any crushes until I was like 16. I was a late bloomer. I was very busy with fantasy novels. Right. Including the librarian from the Discworld series,

which we talked about in a previous episode. Yeah, love those. Terry Pratchett, my hero. So you do remember things. Oh, yeah. About primates I do. Oh, right. Yeah.

I read that. That's my first Terry Pratchett book that I read. Which one? The one with the monkey as a librarian. He's in heaps of them, man. Is he? Oh, well. He wrote like 40.

And he's not a monkey, he's an ape. He's an orangutan. He's an orangutan. Yeah. Sorry, everyone. It's actually, it's a whole universe. A disc world. Or it's a multiverse.

Yeah. Yeah, sorry. Sorry, everyone's ganging up on me. I watched the first episode of the Christmas one this Christmas time. Hogfather. Hogfather, yeah. I always listen to the Hogfather audiobook at Christmas. It's my little tradition.

Who reads it? Is it a celebrity? Oh, Briggsie. I always listen to the Hogfather audiobook at Christmas. It's my little tradition. Who reads it? Is it a celebrity? Stephen Briggs. Oh, Briggs-y. I think. They've like re-released them with a new, I think Bill Nighy is reading them in the re-release. But I don't like them as much.

Did you end up finishing the video game? What do you think happens if you had to guess what happens at the end of the Yo-Yo Gorilla video game? I assume he gets killed. Free of something. Free yogurt. Probably gets a free yogurt. If we're thinking about the real world, if a gorilla is on the loose,

it probably would be either sedated or- R.I.P. Harambe. With a serpent. It's a gorilla and a serpent. That's true. It's like the scene from Madagascar where they go to Central Station and they're like, oh, we're going to travel. And everyone's like, we must murder these animals.

This is true. Yeah. Yeah. An ape and a serpent. It also feels like, oh, that's the coming of the apocalypse or whatever. If yoga gorilla ever is with a serpent, then the fires of hell are about to raise. Yeah. Pretty good yoghurt though.

Yeah. Really good, yeah. What's your favourite flavour would you say, Serene? OG chocolate. Yeah, that's a classic. No, I never had it. I don't think we ever had it. Were you allowed to have it or did you just not get it bought for you?

I imagine, yeah, I think maybe some of the grace. It just never was bought in the house. And by the time I had adult taste buds and i mean to eat anything i'd probably see i never developed adult taste buds well we we could also talk about there's the yoga um pack where you there'd be sprinkles on one side and then yoga chocolate chips it's the original chobani flip yes the original i was so jealous of anyone who had that at school i was like that's that's the ultimate let the record flip. I was so jealous of anyone who had that at school. I was like, that's the ultimate.

Let the record show I was also not allowed yoga as a child. No one was allowed it. It was not good for us. But there was that special child in the playground. Whose parents were not paying attention. Yeah, because we'll just get them whatever they want. Yeah. I think that was Saran. Was that right, Saran? Were you? No, if anything, I could have the get them whatever they want. Yeah. I think that was Saran. Was that right, Saran?

Were you? No, if anything, I could have the least of all of you. Yeah, because you had allergies. I was allergic to everything. So I never had yoga. But I also never had friends. Okay. I won't undercut this moment.

Wait, that's a different podcast. I'm referencing a different podcast. Yeah, but they'll hear it at the end of this podcast. Oh, yes, okay. It's very meta. Also, question. This isn't related, but you know those ads for the Budget Direct Insurance? No, that is not related.

That is quite a jump. No, but I'm pretty sure. I don't know. Help us out. I'm pretty sure they're parodying something, but I don't know what it is. Can you break down the ad for me? I think it's meant to be X-Files.

I thought it was meant to be X-Files too, but if it's X-Files, it is a bad parody. Yeah, whatever Scottish guy. I think it started as X-Files. That's like Scottish Mulder. He was from this show called, it was this Scottish Sunday night ABC sort of program called Monarch of the Glen. But now they're like on trams and shit.

They're like trying to make them the meerkats from the meerkats. And they'll never be the meerkats. They'll never be the meerkats. And it's not even clear what they're parodying. And I've seen X-Files. That's one I have seen. I think if I can bring up my English degree for a second and talk about intertextual studies.

One must. I think what's happened here is a lot like the American office and the British office is that the Budget Direct ad started as an X-Files copy and then became its own thing and then has its own fans and its own right for Budget Direct, just like the X-Files has its own fans. I'm actually a huge fan of the Budget Direct cinematic universe. I think, yeah.

I was really glad that the woman came back because there was a time where it was just the guy doing the X for a while. Well, in the X-Files, Scully was off for like the whole second season. I think she might have been pregnant. She was pregnant, so they put her in a coma. They made her put an alien baby in her. They put these weird fake boobs on her so that while she was lying under a sheet in the hospital, her tits were, like, poking straight up.

Oh, yeah, right. You know, how women are. The director's there going, this simply won't do. These breasts need to go to the ceiling. All right, enough of this. Sorry, sorry, sorry. What's this? Nick Fury's walking in to invite us onto a Primates episode?

This is exciting. Grace, we normally give a score out of bananas. How many bananas did you give that game about Yoga Gorilla? From my nine-year-old brain, five bananas. Perfect game. Perfect game. Well, thanks so much for joining us here on Primates this week, Serene, Grace, and Marcel.

And Marcel, as we always say here on the Primates podcast, it's good to be a monkey, but it's better to be an ape. Is that what they say? I don't know. It's fun to say things like that. I think that's probably what the apes say. I don't think the monkeys are saying that. Is that eugenics god the subtext of the things i say