Who Knew It with Matt Stewart - 31 - Mike Goldstein, Maggie Looke and Nick Schuller

Episode Date: April 10, 2023

Who Knew It with Matt Stewart is a comedy game show podcast hosted by Australian comedian Matt Stewart. This episode features comedians Mike Goldstein, Maggie Looke and Nick Schuller!Get tickets to see the podcast/Matt live: https://www.mattstewartcomedy.com/Watch Matt's stand up special FREE on YouTube: https://youtu.be/cWStRpI-BhESupport the show via http://patreon.com/dogoonpod and you can submit questions for the show!Check out Matt's podcast network: https://dogoonpod.com/Theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and Logo by @muzdoodles! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Oh my God, can you believe it? It's the year 2024. It's Melbourne Comedy Festival and we've just moved venues. We're at the Grace Darling now. We had a great run at the Chinese Museum, selling out shows by the end, but now we need you to come over to the Grace Darling and shows are at 7.15. It's going to be so much fun. Love to see you there. Let's have a beer. Use discount code do go on the show's called dry dry at the melbourne international comedy festival then we're going to sydney and brisbane tickets to all that stuff's on sale now and you can find those tickets and details at mattstuartcomedy.com welcome to who knew with matt stuart the show where the guests write the wrong answers. I'm the titular Matt Stewart and our first guest this week has a show coming up at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival called The Mike Goldstein of Comedy. It's Mike Goldstein. Yes. The Mike Goldstein of this podcast is here.

Our second guest this week is putting on the election results, not satire show at the Comedy Festival. It's Maggie Luke. Hi, how are you going? What did you call show at the comedy festival it's maggie luke hi how you going what did you call yourself at the start a stickler the titular titular she's a big tit guy i'm not i'm from the i'm from i'm from the title of the show all right yeah okay uh-huh it's your last name who knew it? Yes. Matt Stewart who knew it? Yeah, that's right. It rhymes. Is that the point? Oh, my God.

Purely coincidental. And our third and final contestant this week is also performing in Melbourne with his show Firebrand. It's Nick Shuler. Hello. Yes. No one's ever clapped before. Yeah, it's very polite.

It's very dull clap. Maggie clapped Mike and Nick clapped Mike and neither of you clapped Maggie. Yeah. Something I noticed. Oh, it's sexist. Being the woman. I had to jump in.

But I didn't clap for. As a feminist, I had to jump in and clap for Maggie. So you're a titular and a feminist. Yeah. Yeah. Big titular feminist. I didn't clap for Nick though. I clapped for no person.

That's true. You kept it pretty consistent. Disrespectful, consistently disrespectful. Why is everyone looking at me now? So I think, yeah, really it was only Nick who was basically spitting in your face, Maggie. Nick has a clap. I just met him as well. I know.

We're off to a rough start. Oh, God. All right. The way the show works is I ask a relatively obscure trivia question, and our contestants have to write a convincing fake answer. I then read their answers as well as the real one and I have to guess which one is correct. All right, so the first question comes from listener Jillian

from Toowoomba in Queensland. Oh. What, we like Toowoomba? I've been there. It's nice, good gardens. Ah, and Nick Carr. Yeah, and I think they've got some issues going on at the moment. Yeah, Nick Carr lives there.

Gillian's question is, what is the meaning of the word latibulate? What is the meaning of the word latibulate? Okay. So you just send me a meaning of the word latibulate. More instructions. And while they're writing their answers, I'll explain how the scoring works. They get one point if their fake answer is guessed by one of the other contestants and another point if they correctly guessed the answer.

And by the way, I'm also playing as the house. I've put in two of my own fake answers for each question and I'll get a point for each one of those that our guests choose. So each of us can score up to three points per round, which seems fair, but the probability actually favors me. The house. And the house always wins, though. If you've've listened before you'll know that is nearly never the case our questions come from our great patreon supporters and if you want to submit a question

sign up on any level via patreon.com slash do go on pod which is linked in the show notes all right the answers are in so let's go back to the first question what is the meaning of the word latipulate to decompress an artery To dangerously rush through a laboratory experiment because you are behind schedule? Talking at tedious length to people who are politely putting up with it? Undoing your pants? To lurk or hide away in the corner? Or when a barista forgets your order?

That's a lot of definitions. There's only three of us here. I mean, this has all been explained. What's the artery one? What was that? That feels like that's... To decompress an artery. Right.

And what was the pants one? The pants one. Undoing your pants. Well, because tibia is a thing, isn't it? It's a body part. Yeah. It's a bone, I believe. And your legs.

Yeah. Pants, pants. The tibia is also a name of a stripper I saw in Atlanta one time. Was La the first name? Yeah. Was she titular? She was. Great pair of titulars.

You know what you get when Mark G's on the show. Oh, I love doing podcasts with Matt because I can see the panic in his eyes whenever I speak. Yeah, I love doing podcasts with Matt because I can see the panic in his eyes whenever I speak. Yeah, I was saying the same thing. He took a swig of water for everyone not here. Mike makes my mouth dry. Yeah. He can see himself getting cancelled in real time.

I'm just looking forward to the edit. That's all. All right, all right. You're going to clean it up, are you? Oh, yeah. I'll tidy out most of what you say. Any thoughts, Nick? What are you thinking?

It sounds medical. So I reckon it's the artery situation. Want to lock that in? Yeah, let's do it. Can you give it to us? Yeah. So you got tits. It's still like tits.

To decompress an artery, to rush through a lab experiment because you're behind schedule, talking at tedious length to people who are putting up with it, undoing your pants, hiding in a corner or a barista forgetting your order. Oh, I'm going tedious length. I think I've heard that before. Locking that in for Maggie Luke. What do you reckon, Mark?

I think I might do the tedious length as well it seems it seems legit oh nick's panicking yeah i'm regretting my choice i went too soon complete king of it all and i'm not confident yeah it's like a spelling bee can you give us the um can you use it in a sentence the root word? The nation of origin? It's got a Latin origin. Oh. Oh. Latin Bulate.

Maybe. Is that something? No. Bulate. I'm going to go, yeah, I'll stick with tedious length. All right. Let's go through who wrote the answers. When a barista forgets your order. That was. Let's go through who wrote the answers. When a Barista Forgets Your Order.

That was written by Nick. Undoing Your Pants was written by Maggie Luke. And I like how you went, ooh, undoing your pants. Nice. Acting. Twist. That's a bone, isn't it? Those years at NIDA.

To dangerously rush through a lab experiment. That was Jillian, aka The House. Because it's not just me, The House. You are in a palm and block. It's a question, you know, it's a team game. Yeah, it's a share house. Okay. House mates.

Yeah, you're too old for a share house. To decompress an artery, which Nick went for. That was Mike G. Yeah. So a point for Mike there. Thank you. That's good. Talking at tedious lengths to people who were politely putting up with it.

That was also Jillian, okay, the house. Oh, Jillian. Two points for the house there, meaning the correct answer was actually to lurk or hide away in the corner. Latibulate. Latibulating. Yeah, right. It's a really old school word.

So, like, Nick looks like someone who might latibulate in the bushes. Yeah, I think he's already doing it a bit. After how this round has gone, I'm contemplating. Latibulating? Latibulating, yeah. Well, after this round, a quick score update. Maggie Luke is on zero points, as is Nick Shuler. Mike G is on one point, but how do you find it's the house on two points?

All right. What does the winner get? The winner gets... Latibulated? Latibulated. He's going to follow his own. All right. The next question comes from Logan Husky from Brisbane.

Another Queensland question. Logan Husky? That's one of the great names. That is a great name. Can you say it again? Logan Husky. Yeah, Logan Husky. Yeah, that is a great name. Can you say it again? Logan Husky. Yeah, Logan Husky. Oh, that's a porn star.

There's a suburb called Logan. Right. I'm sure you haven't gotten it mixed up. His name's Brisbane Husky. Yeah, Brisbane Husky. I've seen a few Brisbane Huskies. Yeah, in the valley. The last message I sent you before talking to you about being on this pod,

Maggie, was me going, I'm at Rick's. Really? Yeah, yeah. That's good stuff. Isn't it nice to know I'm thinking of you when it's 2 a.m. and I'm in the valley? Oh, yeah. That's right.

That is nice. Were you the tipulating in the valley? You just think of the only person you know from Brisbane while you were there. You just got to. Yeah, I'm not sure. I never know the mindset I get into at that time of night. Yeah. Mike knows me.

I do. I love to message him late at night. I've gotten a few 4 a.m. messages. Yeah, I don't know why, but I love to just reach out. I think I got like a 5 a.m. message because I think I left you guys at the other night, probably like 11.30, and I got a Matt Stewart 5am message going, great to see you.

Anyway, this one comes from Logan Husky and the question is, Bernie Taupin is known as Elton John's long-time songwriting partner. What is the name of his 1976 collection of published lyrics? So Bernie Taupin had a book in 1976 of his lyrics. What was the title of the book? I'm a Loser. Don't give it away, Maggie. Yeah.

Bernie Taupin. What's his last name? Taupin. T-A-U-P-I-N. While you're writing your answers, here's some more information on the word latibulate. According to Writing Redux, the word was defined by Mr. Cockram in his 1623 English dictionary as privily to hide oneself in a corner. The place in which to do this, according to Cockram, is a latibule, which he describes as a den or lurking place.

place. In Mr. Shaw's General Zoology of 1802, he tells us that when kept in gardens in Italy and Germany, the tortoise is observed to latibulise in October and to reappear in April. So, that got used a bit for a couple hundred years, but I think it's really disappeared. The word stems from Latin, where a hiding place is a latibulum. All right, the answers are in. So, here's question two again. Bernie Taupin is known as Elton John's long-time songwriting partner. What is the name of his 1976 collection of published lyrics? The one who writes the words for Elton John? Look Who's Taupin?

Wow. My Songs, brackets, Bernie and the Hits. Taupin Lyrical Genius? Are You Taupin to Me? Or Taup of the Pops, the Bernie Torpen Collection. What was the first one? Yeah. The one who writes the words for Elton John.

Seems a little too ominous. As a man who writes words for a living, that's a terrible sentence. But I mean all of them are terrible. I feel like it's like that and six puns. I don't know if it's a pun ban. They'd all be great comedy festival show names if he was doing a show. Yeah. But he wouldn't say words.

He would say lyrics. Words seems to be a little too basic. So what we're saying is someone's written down the actual lyrics to Benny and the Jets because no one knows that. Yeah. Benny and the Jets. But then. that. Yeah. Benny and the Jets. But then. Ah, yeah.

What is the next part? That's the tops. That's it. Yeah. I'm going to go. Can you do it again? Yep. The one who writes the words for Elton John.

Look who's torping. Wow. My songs. Bernie and the Hits. Torping lyrical genius. Are you torping to me or torp of the Pops, the Bernie Torpen collection? I'm going to go with the first one. Oh, I write the words?

Yeah, because it feels it's like we laugh at it, but it could potentially be deep. Or Mike J's just written that and he's just really happy I picked it. No, I didn't go to that. It sounded like he was really trying to talk you out of it. Okay, I'll go Torpin Lyrical Genius. That's not a pun. Is there a pun in that?

No. No. That's just straight up words. Hubris. It's just arrogant. Tolkien, like, that's the only pun you can really get. Yeah, but let's look who's Toppin. Wow.

Top of the Pops. Yeah, I'm going to go with top of the pops. Top of the pops for Nick. Lock on that. Does the house lock one in or are you just being tricky, busting the corner? No, I don't lock one in because I know the answer. Oh, okay.

I mean, I could, but it would probably be the correct one. What are we, half an hour in? I'm still figuring out the answer. Yeah. Maybe round six we might understand how the game works. Yeah. All right, let's go through who wrote the problem. Yeah. Maybe round six we might understand how the game works. Yeah. All right, let's go through who wrote the answers. Look Who's Talking, wow, that was Maggie Luke,

which I thought was fantastic work. That was good. Thank you so much. And that would have meant, because that was before the film Look Who's Talking Now came out, so that would mean that the John Travolta baby movie would have been a tribute to which was originally look who's talking and then the sequel was look who's talking now yes so he predicted the sequel and then did a pun which is i mean that's the genius of torpen true yeah

yeah ahead of his time yeah uh my songs b, Bernie and the Hits, that was Logan. Okay, The House. Are You Torpen to Me? That was also The House. Then we had Torp of the Pops, the Bernie Torpen collection, which Nick went for. That was Mike G. Yes.

So a point to Mike there. Torp of the Pops is good. I like that. Torpen Lyrical Genius, which Mike went for. That was Nick, so you picked each other's. Meaning that the correct answer, Maggie Luke got. The one who writes the words for Elton John. What the fuck?

So that means one point for Maggie, one point for Mike, and one point for Nick. Right. Yeah, of course. It sounds like one of those ones where, yeah, he's trying to be deep, but we think it sounds stupid. Yeah. The one who writes the words.

Yeah, I don't know if it's a reference to a lyric of his or something. I don't know. Maybe. It sounds like Breaking Bad, the one who knocks. Ah, true. Again, well in the future when he was doing his thing. That's classic Bernie. It sounds like the end of the title.

So it should be lyrics by the one. Yeah, like the end of the title. So it should be lyrics by the one. Yeah, like the subtitle or whatever. Weekend at Bernie's, the one who writes. Oh, I can't believe that didn't get in the box. Is he still around? He's still kicking. Born in 1950. So he'd be, what, 73 almost.

Are we every single Elton John song he wrote the lyrics for? Pretty much all the pretty much all the big ones apart from i think the lion king ones which tim ross or tim curry wrote yeah those two guys confused uh the next question was written by a guy calling himself the brute from nebraska and is he in nebraska yeah great place is it yeah i don't know I've seen the movie. What do you know about Nebraska that you like? It's cold. It's half the year. It's black and white.

It is in black and white. It's in black and white. It's acoustic. It's acoustic, yeah. It's sort of, yeah, like a lo-fi sound. The Bruce Springsteen album was like a demo. True. It ended up releasing.

Oh, so we're just straight up talking about the album. I think so. I was talking about the film. The film is great. Will Forte. Yeah, yeah. It's so. I was talking about the film. The film is great. Will Forte. Yeah, yeah. It's amazing. It's such a good film.

Yeah. I wonder if Nebraskans like that film though, because, you know, remember when we made Australia the worst film of all time? Well, that's what you say, but. You love it. Oh, it's my fave. I reckon it takes quite a talent to ruin a country in a film. Right.

Well done, Baz. But no, Nebraska itself is my neighbor to the north as a Kansas born and raised person. And I know it's an uninhabitable shithole. Well, you've got, you could have a real advantage here because the question is Nebraskan based. And now I've angered someone called the brute. What if you call yourself the brute? Wait, what? The guy said it in his call the brute. You reckon he's protesting too much or something? Yeah, yeah. Is he called the brute. What if you call yourself the brute? Wait, what? The guy

sent it in is called the brute. You reckon he's protesting too much? Yeah, yeah. Is he called the brute? You're not hearing anything I'm saying. Am I talking on the wrong frequency or something? Yeah. So the brute's question is, what obscure law was enacted in Lincoln, Nebraska

in 1889? While you're writing your answers, I'll let the audience know a little bit more about Bernie Taupin. According to Logan, he and Elton have collaborated on more than 30 albums to date. Over the years, Bernie has also worked with Alice Cooper, Hart, Olivia Newton-John, Emmylou Harris, Brian Wilson, and co-wrote We Built This City with Starship.

Despite decades of success and individual wins for Sir Elton, Torpen himself has never won a Grammy and has only been nominated twice. In 2020, he won the Oscar and Golden Globe with Sir Elton John for Best Original Song for I'm Gonna Love Me Again from the Elton John biopic Rocketman. In an interview with BBC Breakfast, Torpen said that the Academy Award was something of a vindication. Quote, the Grammys can take this and you know where they can put it, he said, holding his statuette.

Sounds like a very angry man. Yeah, very angry. Bernie? Bernie. Yeah. He wants the Grammys to take his Academy Award and shove it. Because? Because they never gave him a Grammy. It is weird that he's won an academy award but not a grammy yeah he's written so many hits and his his big award-winning song i've never heard of yeah he should have got one tiny dancer and almost famous that was sick he should have by proxy got what a great moment yeah an amazing moment and that's him that's the tops you know writing those lyrics yeah yeah he's got some

there's some pretty cringy lyrics in those songs as well though there's one one song where he goes if i was a painter but then again no and then he talks about something else like this this isn't going out live he has adhd so why have you you've got this brain fart in the middle of your song? Yeah. Maybe he just really wanted to be a painter for like a week while he was writing the song. But then again. But then again, no. Maybe not.

His other one that I really think stinks is when Elton John's singing about love. He goes, rolling like thunder under the covers. Something about that makes me full body cringe. I't know what song is that i guess that's why they call it yeah it kind of only makes sense if if you're going yeah yeah at the same time it's a sound yeah thunder it's someone's giving you a dutch yeah i know that's what I thought as well. That's what it sounds like.

It sounds like farting. Yeah, here it comes. Also, alligator rock is bad. Oh, that is. You are so American. It's crocodile rock, man. Oh, well, we call it alligator rock. Down here, we got it retitled.

Saltwater crocodile rock. It's still down here. No, no, no. We call it freshwater alligator rock. All right. The answers are in for question number three. What obscure law was enacted in Lincoln, Nebraska in 1889? And I wonder if you can use any of that information that Mike gave you before to help you pick

I should say it is, it's, you know, there are some decent, the Cornhuskers, as they're called, Nebraskans. There is some decent, you know, towns. Lincoln, as mentioned, a great college team up there. But yeah, the Brute, you suck and you should move out of that. Your arch nemesis. Love it.

The Brute. I'd love to see a picture of the Brute. Yeah. It sounds hot. Please send in a photo, Brute. Yeah. The brute. I'd love to see a picture of the brute. Yeah. It sounds hot. Please send in a photo, brute. Yeah. All right. So here are your options for the obscure law enacted in Lincoln, Nebraska in 1889.

It is illegal to sodomize on Sundays. Cattle in Nebraska may only be fed corn that is grown in Nebraska. Feeding out-of-state corn and Nebraska cattle may result in a fine of $10 per animal. It's illegal to grow corn that's taller than a police car. All female immigrants must marry a farmer to live in the county. It was illegal for ugly or unsightly people to expose themselves to public view. Or on Abraham Lincoln's birthday, anyone under 6'4 wasn't allowed to leave the house unless wearing a top hat, which made them at least Lincoln's height.

Well, first of all, what year was this again? 1889. So we didn't really have police cars back then, did we? No, no, no, no. No. Well, what did the Nebraskans call? Nick's face. They didn't think that one through, did we, Nick?

Police cart. Police cart. Sorry. Cart. Sorry. Okay. Hang on, let me have another look at that which is what exactly yeah cart oh sorry and there was two corn ones right two corn ones two corn but it does sound like it is a corn it's a corn can yeah the corn huskers yeah but

the lincoln ones i could be wrong here but but I do not think Abraham Lincoln is actually from Nebraska. Right. I think there's a city named after him. When did he die? This one? Yeah. It was earlier than 1883. Before that.

When was the Civil War? It was just after that he died, wasn't it? All I know is Nicky Webster played at the Sydney 2000 Olympics. You had to forget all your American knowledge when you moved over. Yeah, to get citizenship. I renounced all that knowledge. But 1800s at some point. I mean, so give me the two corn ones again.

Cattle in Nebraska may only be fed corn that was grown in Nebraska, or it's illegal to grow corn that's taller than a police cart. I think the first one sounds boring. I don't know why you'd put that in. Yeah, it's too specific, too boring, long-winded. That is a part of the vibe of the show. The answers are normally ideally a bit. Have we hurt the feelings of the house?

No, no, but I'm saying you're right. Why would I pick a question when the answer is so dull? But the first, that being said, the first one was a very dull answer, hiding in the corner. So I broke my own rule there. Yeah. You're a maverick. Well, I'm running out of quirky facts.

So we've got the two cons. Yep, two cons. We've got all female immigrants must marry a farmer to live in the county. Illegal for being ugly in public or Abraham Lincoln's birthday to be his height or taller or make that up with a hat. Wasn't there a

sodomy one? And yes, it is illegal to sodomise on Sundays. Right. Yeah. Does that mean it's fine in aiding? The rest of the week. Yeah, it's fine to go for it. Monday through Saturday. See, I'd believe it more if it was it was legal to on sundays yeah because that's what yeah the other way around i'd lean towards that but it means they were really cool with it for six days yeah but not on the lord's day you gotta rest you gotta rest go to town. You've got to rest. You've got to rest. Go to town, you know, Monday to Saturday, but you've got to take a rest. Take a rest.

Take a break. Yeah. Everyone was just real tired by that time. Yeah. I'm going to go, wait, what was the second one, second last one again? Sorry, Matt. Second last one was illegal to be ugly in public. Yeah, that one.

Was it, you said expose themselves though. Expose themselves to public view. Right. I think it's flowery language. Okay. I'm going with that one. Yeah. But who's the arbiter of who's ugly and who's not?

Good question. I guess the mayor of Lincoln. They had a hot or not at the state fair? Yeah, yeah. Oh, wait. So, wait. The town's called Lincoln? Yes.

Oh. You really haven't. You don't hear me. I told you I don't do instruction. No, I'm still going to go with the ugly one because I agree with it. Yeah. Bring it back. Yeah.

Any thoughts, Mark? I'll do. I want to hear your local knowledge. My local knowledge extends to corn. I could be widely wrong on Abe Lincoln not from Lincoln. It'd be weird if he was from there and they named it after him. You know what I mean?

Yeah, they'd have to change the name. But I mean, they could still celebrate his birthday if they've named post-op to him, you'd think. I want to say he's from Boston or the East Coast somewhere, you know. He had that. Is Nebraska top left? Is that where it is?

Top, if you're looking down on America, top right. If you're looking. Oh, Nebraska's middle. Middle, okay. Right in the middle. Boston, top right, you know. And Abe Lincoln had a twang like, you know, where am I going to park the car?

Oh, did he? Yeah. Yeah, right. He drove a car. Where are you going to park the car oh do you yeah yeah right so he drove a car where are you going to park the car can you do more regional accents I've never heard you do really

regional American accents I think that's it I mean throw on Atman I'll try yeah Boston wow that was it right there was that Boston

where are you going to park the car what's Nebraska what Nebraska then Nebraska is this it's my voice can you say southern hey y'all where are you going to park the car What? Nebraska then. Nebraska is this. It's my voice. Can you say?

Southern. Hey, y'all. Where you going to park the car? And how would you say you're going to park the car if you're in California? Oh, yeah. That's Canadian. Canadian, yeah. You said Canadian, right?

You are good. You are very good. Yeah, yeah. What up, dude? Park the car. Yeah, there you go. That's something. Yeah.

So I'll go with you have to feed local corn to local cows. Okay, locking that in. Yeah. And what about you, Nick? I think I'm going to do the same. It's way too long-winded and boring to be not real. All right. Unless the brute. I mean, there's fuck all else to do in Nebraska,

so maybe the brute sits there and just comes up with obscure facts. Yeah. Let's go through who wrote the answers. Being illegal to sodomize on Sundays. That was Mike G. Of course it was. Filthy. Yeah, there it is.

I know. I smelled that one. I thought, well, because there is obscure laws that are still in place in the States like that, you know? Yeah. And that's why I always left Nebraska on a Sunday. So I could sodomize it. Because county lines or whatever.

Yeah. It's illegal to grow corn that's taller than a police cart. That was Nick. Oh, I had a feeling. It was when he went, damn, I wrote that. The pivot from car to cart was seamless. I mean, you need to own that, though. I'm here for you, but you've

got to be here for me, too. I appreciate you trying to save it. I know it was a typo, but no, Maggie got me. All female immigrants must marry a farmer. That was Maggie Luke. You're welcome. See, I wouldn't think there would be a lot of immigrants in Nebraska.

I had no idea. In the 1800s. I'm trying to make it racial, but not too racial. Yeah. On Lincoln's birthday, anyone under six foot four wasn't allowed to leave the house. That was the house. Right. The house loves writing house for later. Oh, yeah.

Oh, that's a good tip. Cattle in Nebraska may only be fed corn that's grown in Nebraska. That was written by the brute the brute got me with that local knowledge

I know meaning that once again Maggie Luke is correct it's illegal to be ugly or unsightly

in public view wow or it was back then the brute thinks it still is but I did a bit of reading

it seems like that was it's not still bring it back I better rating. It seems like that's not still a law. Bring it back, I said. I've been to Nebraska, and if that's the case, a lot of people are breaking the law. Yeah, lock them up. All right, so that means two points for the house, one point for Maggie Luke.

Bringing the scores now to Nick Schuller on one point, Mike G on two points, Maggie Luke on two points, but out in front it's the house on four points. But that brings us up to question number four, and this one comes from Matthew Boar from British Columbia in Canada. Now, how would Matthew Boar sound, Mike? Matthew Boar, British Columbia in Canada? Yeah, yeah.

Oh, top of the morning to you. That is good. Matey. You closed your eyes. I didn't know the Irish was so popular. Well, he's Irish. Matthew Bohr is Irish. And he comes from Irish stock. Yeah, he's only just moved to Canada. His full name is Matthew

Bohr Flanagan. Obor Flanagan. Fuck, it was right there. Matthew Obor's question is what obscure character was named the fourth most unfortunately named transformer by the topless robot in 2009. Who's the topless robot? It's a blog. What kind of blog? It's a blog about transformers and stuff.

So you basically just got to come up with a transformer name that's a bit off. Yeah. How many transformers are there? Is this a big world? I think there's hundreds. Yeah. Right.

So Topless Robot is an online publication, you say? Yeah, yeah. Do you frequent it, Matt? Yeah. I love the titular robot. The titular Topless titular topless robot stuttering getting all shaken up flustered

getting the vipers as you might say I got the vipers as Matthew Boer might say good lord I got the vipers I do declare oh now it's shifted I like that his mom's southern yeah right southern and Irish I do declare. Oh, now it's shifted. I like that.

His mom's Southern. Yeah, right. Yeah, yeah. It's a Southern and Irish. Southern Irish woman. Yeah. Classic combination. I mean, I'm not his parents. You didn't make up.

I didn't make up. That's why they moved to Canada. They decided to move to the middle. Oh, okay. Hey, house. What was the adjective used to describe? Unfortunately named. Okay, all right.

While you're writing your answers, here's a little bit more info about the ugly law according to the brute. This strange law from the city of Lincoln was enacted in 1889 and states that any person who is diseased, maimed, mutilated, or in any way deformed so as to be an unsightly or disgusting object or an improper person to be allowed in or on the streets, highways, thoroughfares or public places in this city shall not therein or thereon expose himself or herself to public view under the penalty

of a fine of $1 for each offence. It was pretty crook law, to be honest. Or was it? pretty crook law to be honest. Or was it? And while you're still writing your answers, let's go for a quick break. Okay, your answers are in.

So here is question number four. What obscure character was named the fourth most unfortunately named transformer by Topless Robot in 2009? That's how I say 2009. That's cool. Yeah. It's actually really sick. 2009 is cool as well. All right.

Here are your options. Erector. Crispy 12-O-Saurus. Hard Fister. Nut Buster. Snatchmaster. Morph Anus. They're your six options. Is Morph Anus two words or is it like morphinus or more famous uh yeah it's hyphenated between morph and anus oh so anus is really

accentuated double barrel i reckon i reckon the fisting one is goldstein what was the fisting one? Oh, okay. Hard Fister. Maybe I'm back to it. Hard Fister? He punches. He punches. Yeah. Hard Fister. Because it was named in 2009, but this character comes from an earlier time, I assume. Yeah. When was Fisting invented? Yeah.

Yeah. Fisting was way back. Fisting, I think, came into the 90s, but Transformers was the 80s. Uh-huh. Oh, I love how you just knew that. Was Fisting only in the 90s? Yeah, that was whens. Oh, I love how that was. You just knew that. Was fisting only the 90s? Yeah, that was when it was invented. No. That took one

brave soul with a mind that was willing to think outside the box. A woman with a lot of kids. Inside the box. A hand that was willing to think outside the box. So, morph anus. Yep. Sister fister. Oh, that was willing to. Yeah. So morph anus.

Yep. Sister fister. Oh, that wasn't. I can add that as an extra option. Erector. Erector. Oh, that's. Crispy 12-a-saurus.

Crispy 12. Hard fister. Hard fister. Nut buster. No. Snatch master or morph anus. Do you know what? I'm going to say is good reasonably like not

it's not a blue podcast so i don't think you would have picked a fisting one um i don't know you started talking about tits right uh i think the the nuts one nut buster. Nutbuster. No, no. I take that back because I can't see why a, like, what are they, transformer? Yeah. Busting nuts is a silly thing. Actually, I'm leaning towards the fister, but am I not? Oh, no interior monologue on that.

You know this by now. Yeah. Okay. Oh, this one's got me. Let's go with the start give us the first name again erector okay and are you allowed to tell us what it transformed from no i i don't know you don't know you should have put that in the question that would have been fun yeah yeah because some kind of construction like a crane could be an erector. Yeah. Yeah, that's right. That's true. Okay, so erector, yeah, that's feasible.

What's next? Crispy 12-asaurus. That's fucking insane. It sounds like it was invented by someone who doesn't know anything about Transformers. Yeah, but they did branch out into, like, dinosaur bots and stuff, didn't they? Yeah. It could be, like, a partnership with, like, KFC. If Transformers, like, partners with KFC and they make a KFC if Transformers like partners with KFC

and they make a KFC themed Crispy 12 Asaurus yeah they did do a series of Prime what was it called

Prime Dinobots yeah Dinobots and then they did one about animals as well where Prime what's the main

go Optimus Prime Optimus Prime was Optimus Primal a gorilla so they've done a bunch of different versions it's the main go? Optimus Prime. Optimus Prime was Optimus Primal, a gorilla. So they've done a bunch of different versions. It's the Transformers.

Sometimes two become one, don't they? Isn't that a thing about Transformers? That was Spice Girls. Yeah, Spice Girls. Tonight is the night. But isn't that what happens or is that Power Rangers? There are ones where that can happen as well, yeah. So there could be like a Crispy and there could be a 12-Vasaurus. Well, right.

When they fist, they become one. The sister fester. Yes. All right. So Rektor, the Crispy 12-Vasaurus. Hard Fister, Nut Buster, Snatch Master, Morph Anus. Snatch Master. Snatch Master. I like theus. Snatch Master. Snatch Master.

I like the sound of Snatch Master. Yeah. Yeah, I guess, you know, Snatching. Yeah, Snatching. Nut Buster, yeah, you're right. I don't know when nuts would come in. You wouldn't want to bust a nut as a machine. Unless it's, yeah, there was a food offshoot.

Oh, no, hang on. What about bolts and nuts? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, Nixie. He breaks the nuts of other machines. Oh, other machines. Oh, yeah, that's right. Nuts and bolts? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, Nixon. He breaks the nuts of other machines. Oh, other machines. Oh, yeah. That's right.

Nuts and bolts. Yeah, yeah. But wouldn't you call him Boltmaster? I mean, nut really is the thing that holds in a bolt. Yeah. Like, the nut is quite a specific. And busting a nut is little too. But in the 80s, you know, maybe this is where it came from.

Was there no nut busting in the 80s? No, no. Busting? No. Really? It got real big in the 80s? No, no. Really? It got real big in the 90s. Oh, there were edgy busting in the 50s. I might just be talking on personal. I'm going to throw a fist to the wind and go with fisting.

I think most of us are here because our parents busted a nut in the 80s. Right? Are we 80s babies? You're not. 90s. 90s. I don't understand any of the references any of this podcast what's going on are you actually early yeah 92 okay that's pretty

much 80s yeah yeah if your mom had a long gestation period could have been the 80s she'd never forget if she was, but awful stuff. Maggie, you went with hard fister? Just saw some elephants. I just came from the zoo, actually. Bloody hell. Saw the baby elephants. Yeah, fisting.

Fisting. You went the whole way around on fisting. Yeah. Yeah, I'm throwing. In life and in this game. Told you not to tell. Erector. Erector. Erector for Mike.

And I'll go Snatchmaster. Snatchmaster for Nick. All right, let's go through who wrote the answers. Crispy's 12-a-saurus. That was Maggie Luke. Yeah, I've got no idea what's going on. Crispy 12. Of all of them, I'm like, I don't know if I know what this is.

No, me either. So I thought a saurus was definitely something that then when I sent it in, I thought, no, that's dinosaurs. But, you know, I thought my pitch where it could have been two become one. Yeah, no, I liked it. Other than Spice Girls. Crispy, though. That was interesting.

I just like the word, I think. Yeah, I don't know. That's a good word. Yeah. I just like the word, I think. Yeah. I don't know. That's a good word. Yeah. Sorry. I got hungry. Did you? Yeah.

Crispy. Oh, good. Yeah. Nutbuster. That was the house. Morph anus. That was Nick. Oh.

Morph anus. Yeah. If it was morphinus, I would have maybe leant towards it, you know, even though he was in the Matrix. Morphanal. Yeah. Morph is a good word, though. Morph was a great word.

Yeah, it's a good start. And then just put a swear word on the end. Yeah, morphinal. Yeah. It's not a swear word. It's morphinal time. Describing. Is anus a describing word?

It's an adjective. The anus dog. Snatchmaster, which Nick went for. That was Mike G. Yes. Snatchmaster. I definitely thought you were fisting. Oh, really?

Yeah. No, no. Which is what you went for, Maggie Luke. No, but I was like. That was actually Matthew Boar. Okay, the house. Boar, the Irishman. Yes.

The Canadian Irish southerner. Fisting enthusiast. Canadian southerner. Meaning that Mike G was correct. It was a rector. Yes. And your logic was correct. It was tricky, Barstead. That's me again. Meaning that Mike G was correct. It was Erector. Yes. And your logic was correct. It was a building transformer.

And it didn't like destruction. It just wanted to protect buildings. It just wanted to get erect. Is that really it? It's just a protector of the Erector. Yeah, yeah. Erector would erect. Yeah.

It loved structure and buildings. Uh-huh. But you must be curious because that was only the fourth most problematic or whatever it was called, unfortunately named. Yeah. I'll read out the top three in a second. But before I do that, let me ask you question number five. And this comes from Michael Nielsen from Signet in Tasmania.

The question is, what 1947 song are country duo Lonzo and Oscar best known for? Slightly novelty-ish country song. It was their best known song from 1947. Country Western. 47. Yeah, country and Western, that's right. What are they called? Lonzo and?

Lonzo and Oscar. While you're writing your answers, here's the characters that beat Erector for the top three most unfortunately named Transformers, according to Mike's favourite website, toplessrope.com. I love it, dude. Cyborg. Let me see those Cy Nords.

So number four was, of course, Erector. I don't know. I reckon Erector probably could have just about come out on top. Number three was Nightbeat. It's fine. Number two was Discharge. Yeah, that's bad. And number one was Breastforce.

Breastforce? I love Breastforce. Yeah. What does it even do? There's a team and they, like you said, they combine when five become one and something happens with the breasts and they like you said they combine when and it's the breath when five become one and something happens with the breasts and they'll combine into one big breast force could have been another name for charlie's angel wait wait i want i would love to hear those again because i feel like you can construct a story

nightbeat nightbeat discharge and breast force okay and erector of course rounding out the top four yeah so i was looking at breast force got erector decided to have a nightbeat and had to discharge there you go there you go man this pod is the best thing I've ever done. All right, the answers are in. Sorry. Here is question number five. What 1947 song a country duo Lonzo and Oscar best known for? Cousin Lovin' on the Old Mississippi, I'm My Own Grandpa, Cotton Eye Joe, When Drink Drivin', Keep Your Hands at Ten and Two, Cousin Lovin', Well, my fists will do the talking and your chin will do the listening. Who did that one?

And your chin will do the listening? What did you say? And your chin will do the listening. So there's two Cousin Lovin's. Two Cousin Lovin's. One on the old Mississippi. One just straight out of fruit. One just straight up. One land-based.

Well, it doesn't even say land-based. That's true. It could be water-based. Non-specific cousin lovin'. But both are spelt without the G on lovin'. Lovin'. So cousin lovin' on the old Mississippi. I'm my own grandpa, Cotton Eye Joe.

When drink drivin', keep your hands at 10 and 2. Cousin lovin', or the Old Mississippi. I'm my own grandpa, Cotton Eye Joe. When drink driving, keep your hands at 10 and 2. Cousin Lovin', or my fist will do the talking and your chin will do the listening. I love the drink driving one. Was drink driving illegal in 1947? Yeah, good question. No, it wouldn't have been. It would have been encouraged. My dad talks about it sometimes.

He talks about the days before drink driving. What? I'm like, I don't think. Yeah, I think it was before breathalysers is what he means. Yeah. My babysitter didn't have seatbelts in her car. Remember that? Fuck.

Yeah, because I think it was optional for a while. Right. Yeah, and then my brother did like a backflip half out the window one time on the way to Kmart. Hell yeah. Yeah. That's rad. Things changed really quickly.

Backflips are cool. That's badass. A little kid hanging half out the car. And the kid survived. He's all right. He's a bit off, but, you know. I imagine you wouldn't bring up that story if the context was that that's how he died.

No, he's all right. I mean, he's dead in my heart, but you know. So cousin loving times two, one's on the Ole Miss sip. Yep. There's a. I'm my own grandpa. I'm my own grandpa. How does that work?

That's so funny. That's really funny. I think that's the best fake answer or real answer yeah I'm my own grandpa could you give us a little snippet of how you think

that would go uh I can yeah I mean I'm not a mathematician but it would involve like

you know sing it oh sing the song yeah I can't sing the song might give it away. Okay.

I'm my own grandpa because I fuck my own grandma. Does that work? Great grandma. Great grandma. I don't understand how that works. If you sleep with your great grandma, are you your own grandpa? I think if you're inbred enough, you can work out that you could potentially be your own grandpa.

Right. Yeah. So it would be like your dad would have had to have been also your great grandpa. Right. And then you were born and became your grandpa. Can someone write it? I think the brute should provide that.

Hell no. I'm my own grandpa and then Cotton Eye Joe Cotton Eye Joe which is one we're all familiar with yeah yeah

covered many times where did you come from where did you go where did you come from Cotton Eye Joe well I came from my own grandpa great grandma

grandma yeah I I love Where did you come from, Cotton Eye Joe? Well, I came from my own. Grandpa. Great grandma. Grandma, yeah. I mean, I really like the drink driving one. I think that's funny, but it's just the phrase is very modern. Right. What's the drink driving one again? When drink driving, keep your hands at 10 and 2. Okay.

I think if it's wrong, it's a funny one. Yeah. Whoever did that. Cotton Eye Joe makes sense because I know it's a remix, the 1990s one. Right. But I don't know how novelty it is. I'm going to go for the Grandpa one because I just like that.

That's good. I want to see the movie. Yeah. I reckon you've done it as well. I reckon you're the Grandpa. Oh, really? Yeah. Or Nick.

Yeah. I think it's come from this room. No. I reckon you're the grandpa. Oh, really? Or Nick. Yeah. I think it's come from this room. No, I'm jealous of the creativity behind my own grandpa. I know. I'm just picking it. I know I keep saying someone who's done it in the room or it's wildly accurate and it's funny because it's kind of worked for me in the past.

So, yeah, lock in grandpa. Lock in grandpa for Maggie Luke. Yeah, that's it. Matt, did you say the guy who wrote the question is from Tasmania? I did say that, yes. Oh, that makes sense then. Cousin Lovin. Or Grandpa.

Actually, yeah, that doesn't narrow down any of it, does it? Look, I'll go Cotton Eye Joe just because it seems plausible. All right, leaving you, Nick. I think I'll go cousin loving on the old Mississippi yeah either two people have come up with that separately

or one's real and someone's also or one's house and one's table that's true too in 1947 you could still sleep with your cousin

yeah yeah you'd be proud of it it wouldn't even be a novelty song it'd just be a mainstream hit you can still do it now yeah can you can you marry your cousin?

No. Yeah. In Shelbyville you can. Is this true? Greta Scocci, the actress, did it and had a child and she's now an actress. Didn't the queen do that? Wasn't the queen's husband her cousin? Like second cousin, yeah.

Oh, second cousin. Oh, shit. You can 100% still marry your cousin here. Okay. Well, you learn something new every day. Mike's got some calls to make. Yeah, I looked it up before I committed. I got some hot cousins.

Here, not there. No, there would make sense as well. Alright, let's go through who wrote the answer then. Cousin Lovin. That was Nick. Did you pick that? No, he picked the Mississippi one. My fist will do the talking and your chin will do the listening. That was Michael, Did you pick that? No, he picked the other one. Oh, Mississippi. My fist will do the talking and your chin will do the listening.

That was Michael, aka The House. Then we had Cousin Lovin' on the Old Mississippi. That was Mike. So you two sit next to each other. Two cousins. Yeah, there you go. Just want to fuck a cousin. Or the Old Mississippi. When Drink Drivin', Keep Your Hands at 10 and 2.

That was The House. Bugger. Cotton Eye Joe, which Mike G went for. That was Maggie Luke. Meaning Maggie Luke was correct. It's I'm My Own Grandpa. What? That's amazing. Thank you.

Can we get some lyrics from this? Yeah. That's why you didn't want to sing it. Yeah. I'm like, I know the tune. I'd actually forgotten which one I locked in. Is that not the one you locked in? I can't remember, but I'll go with it.

Let's just stick with this. So that means two points for Maggie, one point for Mike. It's heating up here, I tell you. How's Nick going? What are you on? Badly. I think I'm languishing. Quick score update.

Nick is on one. Maggie is on four. But out in front on equal five points is Mike G in the house. Oh, wow. Well done. Thank you. All right. We're up to question number six.

This one comes from Ellie Bacon from Liverpool in the UK. And Ellie's question is, what strange occurrence happened in a football match between Liverpool and Sunderland in October 2009? What strange occurrence happened in a football match between Liverpool and Sunderland in October 2009? What strange occurrence happened in a football match between Liverpool and Sunderland in October 2009? English Premier League football, soccer. 2009.

2009. So Liverpool, one of the big teams, and I guess Sunderland also another team. While you're writing those answers, let me tell you more about I'm My Own Grandpa. According to Michael, this song is based on an old observation i think by mark twain wrote it in a book somewhere the one could conceivably be considered their own grandfather the process the song describes is thus a narrator marries an older woman who has a daughter who thus becomes his stepdaughter this stepdaughter then marries the narrator's father this marriage makes the stepdaughter also his stepmother now having a stepmother the narrator

also gains a step grandmother which is the woman he married he also gains a step grandfather which is the woman's husband aka himself so that's how he becomes his own grandfather but the song goes on more kids are had and he also becomes other relations to himself as well that sounds very complicated yeah it is like you say it was mark twain i think mark i think mark twain uh this is where the song was inspired by like oh the way i interpreted that was mark twain is his own grandfather and they wrote a song about him. No, I think he just wrote that down in a book. Like, it's possible. Right.

If I'm remembering that correctly. Right. From something I read yesterday. Yeah. I really hope that my mind would have held on to that. All right, here's question number six. What strange occurrence happened in a football match between Liverpool and Sunderland in October 2009?

The football was deflected into the goal off a beach ball thrown by a fan. Strange occurrence happened in a football match between Liverpool and Sunderland in October 2009. The football was deflected into the goal off a beach ball thrown by a fan. A cat ran onto the pitch, distracting the keeper who was allergic for long enough for an easy goal to be scored. One team arrived an hour late, having not adjusted their watches for daylight savings. Sunderland fans held a bonfire that encouraged fans to burn Beatles memorabilia A fan was seen eating a vegetable Or some guy streaked and he was really hot and everyone got super horny and started banging That's great We all know the answer

We started pretty dry but we really warmed up late. Yeah. Vegetables and banging. Yeah. A fan was seen eating a vegetable. Yeah. Hmm. I think I remember this.

The vegetable? No, the streaker. I think I remember the actual answer. Oh, great. Do you want to lock it in and then you're potentially helping them out or do you want to hold back? I'm going to hold back. Ooh. All right. What are you thinking, hold back? I'm going to hold back. Ooh.

All right. What are you thinking, Mark? Okay, well, run me through. I know there's a lot there, but give me the gist. So the goal off the beach ball thrown by a fan. Yeah. Which counted? Which counted.

Okay. Yeah. So that won them the game. The cat ran onto the pitch, distracting the keeper, who was allergic for long enough for an easy goal to be scored, which won them the game. One team arrived an hour late, having not adjusted their watches for daylight savings which lost them the game uh-huh sunderland fans held a bonfire that encouraged fans to burn beatles memorabilia which didn't affect the game a fan was seen eating a vegetable i don't think

that affected the game and some guy streaked and he was really hot and everyone got super horny and started banging. I think that game got called off. Oh, really? I think the players jumped into the stand. Right. Okay. I'm leaning towards, I don't know, some guys really hot, people get horny.

People do get horny, don't they? I've seen it happen. Especially if he's hot. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. How hot are we talking? Wow. It he's hot. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. How hot are we talking? Wow. It says really hot.

Okay. Yeah. So abs. Yeah. I assume abs. Okay. English abs. English.

Oh, that's rare. I'm leaning towards beach ball. Beach ball. Maggie has the inside information. Yeah. Beach ball onto the pitch. Ball deflects into the goal. Beach ball. Maggie has the inside information. Yeah. Beach ball onto the pitch. Ball deflects into the goal. They win.

Yeah. I'll go beach ball. Locking that in for Mike. What do you think, Nick? I don't think it's the daylight savings. Yeah. 2009. Uh-huh.

iPhones exist. Yeah. That's a believable one for the 80s. Yeah, it's not like everyone's on analogue watches still. The other problem with that one is that their daylight savings is reversed. So, they'd actually be getting there an hour early. But anyway, I've only just sorted that in. Nick, what else are you thinking?

I don't think it's the beach ball because I feel like if a soccer ball- Comes onto the pitch, they stop play. But I don't think it would like divert. If a soccer ball hits a beach ball- Oh, you're talking physics. Yeah. Shit. I don't think that makes sense.

Do you think of England being a real beachy place? No, definitely. Well, that's why they have the beach ball, to bring a bit of light into the grim existence. It feels more like a cricket one as well with a beach ball. Right. Like there's beach balls at the cricket. A cat on the pitch.

For me, why would you run away from a cat? Yeah. Like that. So I think the only one that makes sense is the orgy. Orgy locking in the orgy for Nick. Yeah. And then the vegetable seems too unnoteworthy. Unless because they're English, they're eating a vegetable.

Yeah, I think someone's trying to be funny. No. That's a brutal way to phrase that, Maggie. I thought it was funny. I meant like I was going to say tricky, but I didn't want to start that. Sneaky. So now, Maggie, you can lock in the one you're saying is correct.

I think it's the beach ball. Ooh. Locking that in for Maggie. I might be wrong, but I do kind of remember for some reason a deflection. Where were you in 2009? I think I was in the UK. Right. But I might be might be i'm not saying i'm right but i feel like my instincts feel that could if you were in the uk and then it would have been bigger news there and if it's lodged in the memory yeah i don't but i might be completely wrong

right i don't i don't want to gloat but it's in my instinct maybe all right let's go through who wrote the answers a fan was seen eating a vegetable that was nick schuler which i'm trying to be funny you should call your festival show trying to be funny trying to be funny so then we had uh sutherland fans holding a bonfire to burn Beatles memorabilia. That was Maggie Luke. One team arrived an hour late because of their daylight savings. That was The House.

And I realised my logic flaw as Nick was picking out a different logic flaw. Nick got it, yeah. A cat ran onto the pitch, distracting the keeper who was logic. That was written by Ellie, aka The House. Then we had some guy streaked and he was really hot and everyone got super horny and started banging, which Nick went for. That was Mike G.

Meaning the correct answer was the football was deflected into the goal off a beach ball thrown by a fan. I don't know how I know that. That's really weird. Maybe it's like a clip I've seen on the internet or something. Right. Interesting. So that's two points to I've seen on the internet or something. Right. Yeah. Interesting.

So that's two points to Mike G, one point to Maggie Luke, which is, geez, that's really shaken things up. That now means the score. Not for Nick, of course, who is still on one point. This has been poor. We went for the horny answer. I did. Classic Mike G trap. I think I've seen a clip of that online as well.

You've seen a clip of it online? Yeah. You've seen a clip of it online? Yeah. Somehow that just spoke to you as well? Yeah. The others all had logical flaws. It's the only one that seemed legit. The house is on five points, as is Maggie Luke, but way out in front now on seven points is Mike G.

Yes. What? Meaning that coming into the final round, it is anyone's game, believe it or not, because this one's worth triple points. So, Nick, if you get this correct and they both guess your answer, you will still win the game. Feeling good. Feeling confident.

And things like this have happened in the past. All right. So, question seven. This one's always the longest one. You'll need the most writing time because it's a film synopsis question. Okay. Okay. This one comes from Katie May from Burton upon Trent.

The question is, what is the synopsis of the 2021 film Clean? While your answers are being written, here is some more information about the beach ball incident as written by John Ashdown in The Guardian the week of the match. For football managers under pressure, problems can rain down in all shapes and sizes. Alongside the usual suspects, injuries, boardroom uncertainty and the like, Rafael Benitez can now add beach balls after watching his Liverpool side slip to their third successive defeat in bizarre circumstances in Sunderland. These things happen was Benitez's

response after Darren Bent scored the only goal of the game at the Stadium of Light. in bizarre circumstances in Sunderland. These things happen was Benitez's response after Darren Bent scored the only goal of the game at the Stadium of Light. The Sunderland striker's shot, which was bound for the waiting palms of Pepe Reina, was deflected past the visiting keeper after striking a stray beach ball that seconds earlier had been thrown onto the pitch by a Liverpool fan. Under the laws of the game,

the beach ball, which bore a Liverpool crest, should have been considered an outside agent, which whether an errant inflatable plastic bag or Yorkshire Terrier, should bring a drop ball if struck by the match ball. So it shouldn't have even been allowed this goal. The play should have been stopped. The referee, Mike Jones, despite seemingly having a clear view of the incident, allowed the goal to stand, however. The Sunderland manager, Steve Bruce, admitted that he was view of the incident, allowed the goal to stand, however. The Sunderland manager, Steve Bruce, admitted that he was unaware of the rule, though he had clearly been informed

by the time he was called upon to make his post-match comments. What a shame, was his tongue-in-cheek response. I've been saying Sunderland, I think, before I said Sutherland a few times. All right, the answers are in. So here is the final question. Can't remember if I said who wrote it. It's Katie May from Burton-upon-Trent, which sounds like a fantastic place to be and the question is what is the synopsis of the

2021 film clean here are your options the tale of a bathroom supply salesman who goes on a murderous rampage after he's fired from his job he strangles his victims with dental floss and then washes the bodies with bleach a junior school football team are heading for a perfect season, but disaster strikes when their star player breaks a leg. Luckily, there is nothing specific in the rulebook saying the janitor can't step onto the field, even if he's a recently retired pro footballer. Clean, starring Alexander Skarsgård, Kate Winslet and Brosnan Pinshot, follows the true story of Ben Footkins, Skarsgård, Kate Winslet and Brosnan Pinchot, follows the true story of Ben Flipkens, Skarsgård,

the creator of Ajax cleaning powder in the 1940s. Flipkens product is... It's still gone. Sorry. This sounds the most credible. I'm pretty sure I know that's not real because I would have watched that. I'm pretty sure I know that's not real because I would have watched that. I just hadn't considered Flipkins.

Flipkins tickled me in that moment. I'm sorry. Right. It's a great name. Ben Flipkins. Anyway, Flipkins product is stolen by the Colgate company, led by the nefarious Donald Gramble, played by Pinshot. Kate Winslet plays the wife. A romantic comedy.

Clean stars Julia Louis-Dreyfus as Annie, a recently divorced mother of one who starts exploring her sex life by picking up college students at the local laundromat and manages to find something she wasn't looking for. Winner of the 2021 Grand Jury Prize at Sundance. Tormented by his past, a garbage man named Clean attempts a quiet life of redemption but soon finds himself forced to reconcile with the violence of his past.

Or a sorority needs to raise some money quick or risk being shut down. In a desperate last-ditch attempt, they start selling blank canvases as high art to clueless socialites in this laugh out loud ahead of its time black comedy i like the garbageman called clean yeah and he murders is that what happens murders earlier he's got well he's got to reconcile with the violence of his past okay garbage man named clean mr clean as his name i i know for a fact i would have watched the ajax film that is something i i loved like those it's like the founder yeah like i like those i like those two yeah so i don't think it's that one i'd know might not have got a wide release yet well it sounds artsy who scars guard

winslet and pinshot prosnitz pinshot i don't know if I know Pinchot. Bronze, Brosnan. And I thought, you know what, I'm leaning towards the first one. Bronson. Bronson Pinchot. Sorry, did I say Brosnan? Yeah. You said Bronwyn. Bronwyn.

It's not a great show for me, a person who's not a great reader, but Bronson Pinchot. Bronson Pinchot. i reckon that's a house one that isn't matt uh so you've got the bathroom supply salesman on a murderous rampage got the school football team murderous rampage the dental floss is where it falls away for me right strangling with dental floss does it have the as a physics man. Oh, yeah. Well, I got the physics wrong last time. Structural integrity.

Yeah, it is pretty flimsy. Nick, tell us why you're a physics man. Is that something you're into? Have you seen my head? Yeah. Look at my face. He legit looks like Beaker from The Muppets. Yeah.

I legitimately studied chemistry at university. There you go. That's my jam. Well, it's not physics, is it? It's not, but it's nerdy shit. Is Baker famously a good scientist? He gets into some mischief, but he still wears a lab coat and, you know, he's always. He looks the part.

He looks the part. Yeah, he's always getting blown up. Yeah. Always looks worried. Yeah. What was his buddy's name? Oh, Dr. Bunsen. Dr. Bunsen. Dr. Bunsen. There looks worried. Yeah. What was his buddy's name? Swedish chef. Dr. Bunsen.

Dr. Bunsen. Dr. Bunsen. There you go. Swedish chef. Fucking hell, man. Get it together. I see cooking as like a science. Ah, right, right, right.

Of sorts. Uh-huh. So, yeah, that one murders Rampage because of the floss. Okay. Then you have the junior football team where the janitor comes in to save the day. Hmm. I like that. That strikes me as like early 90s maybe like air bud yes nothing in the rule book is 21 is one of my favorite cliches yeah nothing specific in the rule book saying that janitor can't play so the janitor plays on the high school team yeah yeah uh then we've got alexander scars guard led film about the creator

of ajax cleaning powders in the 1940s and what what got you in that uh ben flipkins which is i feel awful because it's probably that's a real person obviously started oh it's a real person well i i think this is a based on a true story uh-huh i think I think. But yeah, I just hadn't. Why isn't his name Ajax? Mr. Ajax. Yeah. Oh, yeah. You just said you've seen The Founder. Maybe.

Maybe Johns bought it off. Gary Ajax. Yeah. It was The Founder. Did Michael Keaton play Johnny McDonald? Good point, guys. Move on. Then we have the romantic comedy starring Julia, is it Louis or Louis?

Louis. Julia Louis-Dreyfus. Louis, yeah. As Annie, recently divorced mother, picking up college students at the local laundromat but finds something she wasn't looking for. Then we had the garbage man named Clean, attempting a quiet life of redemption but soon finds himself forced to reconcile with the violence of his past or the sorority

that needs to raise some quick money or risk being shut down and they sold blank canvases as high art to clueless socialites in a laugh out loud ahead of its time black comedy. It's not ahead of its time. Well, we don't know that yet. You'd be foolish to say so. We're currently speaking in the hindsight of that film. I can see that it wasn't.

But I am going to lock in the dental floss. Dental floss. Yeah. Maggie Luke. Yeah, because the other ones, everything is just a little bit off to me. So there's the dental floss, which is the next one. It's the soccer one. Yeah.

Which sounds boring as shit. And do you know what I mean? And then maybe when the janitor is playing soccer, a really hot guy runs onto the floor. Maybe it's the janitor. Yeah. I'm going to go for dental floss.

Lock that in. What are you thinking, Mark? You're in the box seat here. I know, but I feel like Maggie made up the julia louis dreyfus one has some kind of why do you think that i don't know it just seems that the sundance thing is a touch of maggie luke well that's a maggie touch didn't i just say that i like those ajax style movies yeah yeah but i think you know this if you were to make a movie, it would be Julia Louis-Dreyfus sleeping with people at a laundromat. That's just my dream journal.

I was leaning towards that, but look, Ahead of Its Time throws the last one. Look, I'll go with Julia Louis-Dreyfus. All right, locking that in for Mike J. I think it's The Sorority, Ahead of Its Time, but only two years ago. Ahead of Its Time. I think that's like perfect.

I know. It means that if that is true, it means that those movies are happening now. Right. And it's like it's not even an interesting film. I didn't say it was accurate. Blank canvases to socialites ahead of its time. Yeah.

I'm going to go sororities. Locking that in. Stick with it, yeah. For Nick. That's interesting. All different. All right, let's go through who wrote the answers. The junior football team are heading for the perfect season.

They got the janitor involved. That was written by Katie, aka The House. she wrote it where it was more believable and i really souped up the rulebook thing i just love throwing in the rulebook thing nice um clean starring alexander scars guard that was written by mike i'm so sorry about breaking in the flipkins i feel like i did not help you flipkins yeah really i did that is that a there's a tennis player named flipkins i feel like i did not help you flipkins yeah really is that a there's a tennis player named flipkins and that's just in my head i don't know why they're really and bronson pincho is uh the actor who played balky bartokamis in the 80s sitcom perfect strangers it's a great show and yeah no one picked up on that but i watched that film though i would you know i thought that

was good it would be good i'd like to see the history of Ajax. Then we had a romantic comedy starring Julie Louis-Dreyfus, which Mark went for. And you were correct, Maggie, you did write that. Because I want to see it. A sorority needing to raise money quick. Laugh Out Loud ahead of its time. Black comedy. That was The House.

Oh, no, Nick. That's ruined my chances of winning the tale of the bathroom supply salesman which mike went for that was nick so points for nick there uh meaning the correct answer no one got it but it was tormented by his past of garbage man named clean attempts at quiet life of redemption oh i soon finds himself forced to reconcile with the violence of his past and this is is... Who plays Cleen? He doesn't only play him, he wrote it and directed it. It's his whole thing. Bronson Pinchot?

Brody, what's his name? Jenna. Adrian Brody. Adrian Brody. It feels like something he'd do, yeah. And, yeah, did not do well at the box office or with critics scoring 47% on Rotten Tomatoes. Critic Leslie Felperin wrote,

our hero barely says much at all, leaving it to Brodie to do a lot of acting with those big sad eyes. It makes the film feel a bit like a silent movie, but not one of the good ones. That's pretty brutal. Ahead of its time. Ahead of its time. Yeah.

So, points for everyone but Mike in that last round. Meaning that the final scores are Nick Shuler leaping up to four points. Huge. Well done, Nick. Thank you. And landing in fourth spot as well, Nick. And your show is coming up. Do you want to tell people where they can see it?

Yeah, absolutely. It's on at the Chinese Museum, 6.30 p.m. from the 11th till the 23rd of April. It's on at the same time as Matt's show. Yes. So, if you like. So, you come see one of us and then the next night, see the other. Yeah. Just camp out at the Chinese Museum. In third place on seven points, it's Mike G.

Oh. And your show, Mike, how can people see that? The Mike Goldstein of Comedy, when is this out? This is out Monday week. Oh, Monday week. So, the Melbourne this out? This is out Monday week. Monday week. So the Melbourne Comedy Festival will be in full swing then. So either the Greek Center or Cooper's Inn. And after that, it'll be in Perth and Sydney as part of their comedy festivals.

So get along to that. And I'll be holding screenings of Mr. Clean afterwards. But the winner this week, equal on eight points, it's Maggie Luke in the house. You really came through at the end there. Yeah, it's the Julia Lewis breakfast. You Bradbury'd it? Yeah.

And where can people see your show, Maggie? It is on the 14th of April at Comedy Republic, and it's got Ben Russell and Greg Larson and some really good acts that are yet to be confirmed, but it'll be really good. And it's on at 12.30. And it's not satire. I am. It's not satire.

It's not. It's not. It's basically one of those shows that everyone will let loose on to get all of their internal comedy festival. They're the funnest shows at the festival. I love those weird late night shows. Yeah. People can see my show, Ding, at the Chinese Museum

through the whole comedy festival at 6.30, same time as Nick's. And I can also see this show, Who Knew With Matt Stewart, the Brisbane Comedy Festival in May. And, yeah, find out details of that via mattstewartcomedy.com. Thanks so much, everyone, for listening. Thanks so much to the three of you for joining us here. Thanks for having us. Thank you.

Thanks, mate. And cheers to everyone for tuning in to Who Knew With Matt Stewart. And now that you know it, I've been Matt Stewart. Goodbye. Bye. Bye. you know it. I've been Matt Stewart. Goodbye. Is it when we're writing, is there thinking music happening for the listeners or It's either edited

out or I'll be telling them information about the last question or something else. Right. I totally zoned out when you described what this is all about. So I'll learn as we go. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. You'll figure it out.

I think the worst thing in the world is someone explaining instructions. Oh, God. Yeah, I completely blank out. Totally. I think, yeah. Yeah, so what are we doing? That and when someone says, let's pair up. Yeah.

That's the worst two things. All right, a few instructions. Yeah. And let's pair up. Worst thing. You start stressing about who you're going to pair with. Yeah. That's the worst two things. All right. A few instructions. Yeah. And let's pair up. Worst thing to do. You start stressing about who you're going to pair with. Yeah. I hate every part of that.

This is all solo. You don't have to pair at all. Yeah. I think I asked ahead of time. It's everyone for themselves. Yeah. Normally there's pairing in the show. Oh.

But not this week. Not with Maggie Luke here. Oh, God. What does that mean? I don't know. I just know that you don't like pairing. That's all. Oh, right. Yeah, that's good. The thing you just said. Okay. Well, since you said titular, I've been thinking about pairs the whole podcast.

Yeah, titular feminism is really... So, we message you the meaning of latibulate. Yes. What if I have other messages on my phone that I'm now compelled to look at? See if you can work them in. I think you need a funner word than the house. People love the house.

They like the house. It's the way you say the house. Yeah. The house gets booed at live shows a bit of fun what's the house that's that's me mike left he's back matt's the house that's the house he keeps calling himself the house took me a while to figure out what's going on like the house always wins well i mean i i did explain i said i'm also playing as the house but why the house you're more of an apartment type guy townhouse at best all right we're still on yeah we're about to say the same thing

you asked before Maggie what happens while you're writing it's me telling the listeners about that I think I've explained no one has ever this is episode 30 and no one has ever been so confused by this show before fucking hell dude clean it up

can I say well you can cut all this but like I was just because we're looking at our messages and you know so I was distracted just then where someone had messaged me this morning and I hadn't messaged back. I'd looked at it, but I hadn't messaged back yet. And you know,

on Facebook messenger, you could say it says seen. And because I hadn't responded, they just wrote seen in capital letters. Oh, wow. Pass. Yeah.

Is that insane? Yeah. Who are we talking? A friend or a comedy promoter? Oh yeah. Is that insane? Yeah. Are we talking a friend? Like a comedy promoter. Oh, okay. Name and shame. Now let's just say there are no Logan Huskies.

Yeah. What are you going to write back? You're going to write back, yeah, I know. I'll just write back red. Red. Tim Curry was the one who played scar yes and he was in um clue clue in rocky horror true yeah yeah he didn't play scar though i don't think yes he did in the original lion king wasn't he that was jeremy irons i thought it was jeremy irons as well i saw a clip of jeremy irons recently have you seen this clip of jeremy irons

talking about how it's not incestive, it's a father and son? Hell yeah. What? Wild. This is, I like it. It was a wild, it's in an interview. What does, how does he reason that?

I don't know. Yeah. It was a weird, I just assume it would be somehow like a historical movie about a real thing. Yeah. The call at that. Yeah. Australia.

Yeah. Is it a musical? No. It's just all made up. Ah, right, right, right. It's just about like Hugh Jackman. I've never seen it. But as far as he's like drove some cattle.

Yeah. And it goes for like what, three and a half hours. What? It's insane. I've never watched it. Maybe Nicole Kidman's at the other end maybe. Ah, she's in it as well. Okay. Yeah, cattle. Yeah. And it goes for like, what, three and a half hours. What? Insanely long. Maybe Nicole Kidman's at the other end, maybe. Ah, she's in it as well. Yeah, yeah.

Right. Everything's in it that they think Australia is. Managed, I think, two world wars. All the Anzacs. Oh, shit. Oh, okay. 7,000 kangaroos and a Qantas plane. Wow, is that true?

Mm. Okay, I have no idea about that film. Nikki Web idea about that film so much more than just the cows nikki webster she's in it that's the oldest australian reference i could think savage garden oh hell yeah clotheslines that spin around yeah we're always proud of those whenever there's a parade or something 20 minutes into the film you then watch the entire of the opening of the sydney 2000 Olympics and then the film restarts within it as well. That sounds good, actually. Yeah, that sounds pretty sick.

What's the weather like in Kansas City? Right now? Well, yeah, generally. It's up and down. Melbourneish? No, you don't get the four seasons in a day like you get here. Have you heard that one before? No, it's like crazy blizzards in winter and then sandally hot in summer.

Oh, even wilder. Yeah, proper springs. Hot girl summer. Hot girl summer. Okay. What does that even mean? It means hot girl summer. It means a summer for the hot girls

for the hot girls and not for the Uggers yeah yeah because you got to rule against that with that Nebraska Nebraska just in the summertime now

lock them up year round yeah lock up the Uggers Uggers thrive in winter though yeah Uggers winter yeah they can bundle up yeah

wait wait sorry Matt this isn't the way you wanted to go editing nightmare so you didn't tell me this is a three hour long podcast we came i was thinking the same thing i mean a lot of that had to do with you two chatting for fucking half an hour before we ever got started sorry you stumbled on your own name there at the end stoward was it supposed to be that's that's meant to be the joke yeah

so that rhymes with know it instead of knew it go on man that was fun