Who Knew It with Matt Stewart - 32 - Emma Holland and Angus Gordon

Episode Date: April 17, 2023

Who Knew It with Matt Stewart is a comedy game show podcast hosted by Australian comedian Matt Stewart. This episode features comedians Emma Holland and Angus Gordon!Get tickets to see the podcast/Matt live: https://www.mattstewartcomedy.com/Watch Matt's stand up special FREE on YouTube: https://youtu.be/cWStRpI-BhESupport the show via http://patreon.com/dogoonpod and you can submit questions for the show!Check out Matt's podcast network: https://dogoonpod.com/Theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and Logo by @muzdoodles! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, it's the titular Matt Stewart here just letting you know that me and Saranja Amana are at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival. We're on every night. Chinese Museum and then for the second half of the festival at the Grace Darling Hotel and we'd love to see you there. Use the discount code DOGOON and we'll see you at the shows. Also in Sydney and Brisbane, the comedy festivals in both those cities with our show Dry Dry. Would love to see you at all of those shows. Come to each one. Now on with the show. As women, our life stages come with unique risk factors, like high blood pressure developed

during pregnancy, which can put us two times more at risk of heart disease or stroke. Know your risks. Visit heartandstroke.ca. Welcome to Who Knew with Matt Stewart, the show where the guests write the wrong answers. I'm the titular Matt Stewart and our first contestant this week. You may know from Have You Been Paying Attention? It's Emma Holland. Hello, Ben Searle.

We're supposed to be here. Yes, this was meant to be a three-guest podcast, but Ben is not responding to calls. Our second contestant is award-winning comedian Angus Gordon. Hello. That is factual information. Yeah, thank you. And, yeah, I would have then said, and from talking to Scotty,

he's Ben Sell, but he's not here. So the way the show works is ask a relatively obscure trivia question and our contestants have to write a convincing fake answer. I then read their answers as well as the real one and I have to guess which one is correct. Okay, are we ready to play? Yeah. Oh, we'll just get straight into it.

Hey. Oh, no. Do you want to chat? No, no. I appreciate a podcast that's up front and to the point. Yeah. People don't like too much jibber jabber. Is that what you found in your years of potting?

Yeah. Not on a podcast. People don't like chat? Yeah, they hate chat. The sooner it's over, the better. They want to get in and out. Ben Sell's doing a show called Hammerhead. He was going to be here to promote that.

Well, don't promo it. What are you doing? Don't go to the show. He doesn't deserve it. So here's question number one. It comes from a listener, Rachel Ball from London in the UK. And the question is, what does hunky punk mean? What does hunky punk mean?

While you're writing your answers, I'll explain how the scoring works. So you get one point if your fake answer is guessed by one of the other contestants, and another point if you correctly guess the answer. And by the way, I'm also playing as the house of put into a moment fake answers for each question with the help of the question writers. And I get a point for each one of those that our guests choose. So each of us can score up to two points per round which seems pretty fair but the probability actually favors me the house and the house always wins although if you've listened to previous episodes

you'll know that it's not necessarily the case anyway our questions come from our great patreon supporters if you want to submit a question sign up on any level via patreon.com slash link in the show notes can't believe you have listeners in London. London town. Very cosmetopolitan. Yeah. The homeland. For all people. For everyone.

The original. You described a homo sapien out of London theory. They all came. They all came from. From out of the River Thames. Here is question number one. What does hunky punk mean? Cockney rhyming

slang for spunk brackets male ejaculate scottish slang for a hedgehog a grotesque carving on the side of a building especially old churches words that are nonsensical gibberish or it's short for hunky punky wait there's only three of us that Well, yes. What happened is he started talking in an official voice and we both immediately stopped listening. I know. He was explaining the rules of the game, but he did it in a voice, like a voiceover, like an ad read. So I just immediately brain just went.

This is what happens when my own soccer coach tries to give instructions. I just zone out because I don't respect authority. I'm very authoritarian. So there's like five answers and you've both written a fake one and then me and the question writers have also put two oh okay okay i get you um so you got cockney rhyming slang for spunk male ejaculate scottish slang for a hedgehog grotesque carving on the side of a building especially old churches words that are nonsensical gibberish or it's short for hunky-punky. The gibberish

one sounds too real. It's too real. It's too real. You're being too real right now. And this is supposed to be a comedy podcast, Matt, and I don't appreciate that. I'm going to go with the come answer. Okay, come answer for Emma.

How funny is come? It's so funny. It's one of the funniest stuff. It makes me laugh. A lot of people get sad afterwards. Me, I'm chuckling. Like the joker. Oh, man, what a guy.

Some interesting ideas. A real male role model for me and lots of troubled young men. I'm going for the grotesque carving. Grotesque carving for Angus. All right, let's go through who wrote the answers. It's short for hunky-punky. That was written by Emma Holland. Yeah, that was me.

Now, what does hunky-punky mean in that case? It's short for hunkus-punkus. Okay. This is going to keep going. Sorry, one last question. And hunkus-unkers fungus means come. Okay. Yeah, that makes sense.

It's Latin. It's beautiful. Words that are nonsensical or gibberish. That was written by the house. I told you. It was too obvious. Scottish slang for a hedgehog. That was written by Rachel, okay, the house.

Yeah, that's good. Then Emma, you went for cock me, rhyming slang for a hedgehog. That was written by Rachel, okay, the house. Yeah, that's good. Then, Emma, you went for cockney rhyming slang for spunk. That was Angus Gordon. God damn it. Meaning the correct answer was a grotesque carving on the side of a building, especially old churches. So, maximum points for Angus Gordon. And that's what this is about, getting the, racking up points.

Yeah. I will now no longer get any points. You've racked up too many. I've got two points. That's enough. I'm not a greedy man. Why did you get two? Did you explain this also when I wasn't listening?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you guessed his line. Now you're looking at your phone immediately. He tries to explain. You asked explicitly. There's a funny TikTok I have to watch, actually. Yeah, you're right. So two points for a correct answer no no one point one point for a correct answer but you also get a point if someone gets it yeah yeah yeah

all right you should put like a like a printout of the rules on the table you've played before yeah and i wasn't listening then either uh yeah you played one of the, before this was its own show, you played on a primate special live. Yeah, when you were too scared to make it its own thing, so you had to do a crossover ep. Well, I think that's called a backdoor pilot. Yeah, it was like the critic episode of The Simpsons.

Yeah, exactly. And I said grow up. All right. Which was a great episode, but then led to a terrible show. Yeah, much like this. No, this is good and fun and makes a lot of sense. Here's question number two. This comes from Alex Spohr from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.

What was NFL Hall of Fame running back Jerome Bettis' nickname? It was NFL Hall of Fame running back. That's a position in American football. Jerome Bettis. B-E-T-T-I-S. What was his nickname? While you're writing your answers, here's some more information on the word hunky-punky.

According to Rachel, fun fact, gargoyle is the word specifically used for characters carved on buildings that serve as water spouts, usually diverting water off the roof through their open mouths. I didn't know that. Do you know that? I just call them piss boys. Yes.

That is, well, that's the Australian term for it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Non-functional ones that might be used to ward off evil spirits are known as grotesques or hunky punks. I feel like they wouldn't ward off, they'd be like inviting for evil spirits. So your friends are already here. Do you want to hang out?

You know what I mean? If I was going to ward off evil spirits, I'd put like good looking ones there. So your friends are already here. Do you want to hang out? You know what I mean? If I was going to ward off evil spirits, I'd put, like, good-looking ones there. So you're like, oh, I guess I'd feel unwelcome. I'm not going to fit in. Yeah, you'd walk and be like, oh, the group chat's happening without me. Everyone's so good-looking on this building. Oh, I'm not going to.

I'm embarrassed. That's clever. And that's why you bring him on, for that sharp wit. It's Razor. So here's question number two. Answers are in. What was the NFL Hall of Fame running back Jerome Bettis' nickname? The bus.

Jerome bet on us. The gambler. Snapping turtle. Or the denim jockstrap. Read through them again. Yeah, please. The bus. The bus. Jerome bet on us. The gambler. Snapping Turtle or the Denim Jockstrap Read through them again The Bus Jerome Bet On Us The Gambler, Snapping Turtle or the Denim Jockstrap

Did you write the Denim Jockstrap one? I would never I would never do something like that Did you write it? Yes Well don't pick that one Did you? Yeah

That's why I got you Mike I'm not. Well, don't pick that one. Did you? Yeah. Oh. That's why I put you in my life. I've lost like a series of like a coherent self, so I'm no longer sure if ideas are in my brain or yours or Matt's. Did you write The Snapping Turtle? Yeah, yeah. Because I wrote The Snapping Turtle. You wrote The Snapping Turtle.

I'm going to go with The Jockstrap. Jockstrap for Emma. I'm going to go for The Bus as a big fan of public transport. All right, someone likes infrastructure. Hey, some people are train guys. I'm a bus guy. Bus is the worst of the three. I'd go train, tram, then bus.

You would go, yeah. And bus is like distant. That's because that's a very Melbourne answer. No one in Melbourne. Bus is ADHD. If you like the bus, it means you have ADHD. Oh, you also love the legacy of the civil rights movement. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't think the trains have been integrated yet, have they?

There are bus replacement services, so they are integrated in that sense. And in the London they are, you know, when you go. The London? No, the water. The English Channel, you know, your bus goes onto a train. The English Channel, you mean the BBC? You got him. I was going to cut that riff until you saved it there, Emma. Maybe cut all of it, actually. So here is... It's pretty funny when I said there's been no Rosa Parks of trains.

So here... Like each vehicle needs a different Rosa Parks. Here's who wrote the answers. Jerome, bet on us. That was Emma Holland. I thought I went for a less funny. I thought that was quite clever and I thought maybe it would trick someone.

So I'm giving up on the funny angle and the clever angle. Well, you don't have to trick someone. You've got to trick a very specific person. Angus Gordon he's untrickable this is known about him but still so gullible uh the gambler that was the house i guess we were thinking similar things uh snapping turtle was angus you did write the same yeah that's why i said i did oh that's awesome but i mean you also said you wrote the denim jockstrap, which was actually written by the house, meaning the correct answer was the bus.

No. So one point to Angus there, one point to the house. I'm guessing because he carried people. Yeah, well, I can tell you quickly, according to this great website we've found called wikipedia.org, it says Bettis received the nickname The Bus During His Time at Notre Dame. Notre Dame, as they say, I think, over there.

It's a Catholic college. As a reporter at the university's newspaper came up with it, stating that he looked like a bus that took guys for a ride. NFL. I was picturing NRL. Right. Yeah, and that's why I put Jerome Bette on us. Otherwise, I would have given him the nickname Come Man.

Oh, yeah. That would have gotten me. Yeah, that would have been really funny also. Come Man. I'll do that next time. Apparently, they used to chant, nobody stops the bus at his games. What if you just put your arm out, though? Yeah.

Like from speed? Yeah. Is he married to Sandra Bullock? I think he is. Oh, though? Yeah. Like from speed? Yeah. Is he married to Sandra Bullock? I think he is. Oh, that's awesome. He would explode if he stops. If he runs under six kilometres an hour, it's over for him. He must keep running.

Oh, that's a nightmare. The next one, question number three, was written by Mandy Wright from Chandler in Arizona in the United States. You've got listeners from everywhere. Yeah, well, well this is a particularly it feels like this one's you got it from chandler phoebe rachel could that be any more of a small town uh mandy's question is what is spencer eldon known for what is spencer eldon known for? What is Spencer Eldon known for? According to Alex about the bus, he's one of the best guys in the world. Isn't that wild? Who said that? The guy wrote the question, Alex. What is that? Does he know him personally? I don't know. Well, you can't say that about

something. Well, I mean, maybe he does. All right. So the answer in for question number three, what is Spencer Eldon known for? He's the guy who actually wrote shakespeare's plays he was raised by a herd of elephants he's a world darts champion he was the baby on the album cover of nirvana's nevermind or he invented a back scratching contraption that works by attracting cats to your back that last one's very specific yeah you wouldn't be known for that i don't think it was the William Shakespeare one because I think the guy who wrote Shakespeare's plays was called William Shakespeare. Oh, my goodness.

It's actually Edward de Vere. It's actually Anne Boleyn. It was actually me. So I'm cancelling out that one. That doesn't count. Cancel that one. Raised by a herd of elephants. World dart champion.

Undercover of Nirvana's Nevermind. Or backscratching contraption, which is very hard to say. I like the baby answer. I'm going to go the baby answer as well. Two babies. Two babies. Yeah, that's about right. The way we've carried on on this bloody episode.

The listeners won't know. Oh, she must have as well. All of that would have been edited out, so they'll have no idea. I think you're very responsible and reasonable people. Let's go through who wrote the answers. Here's the guy that actually wrote the Shakespeare plays. That was Angus Gordon. He was raised by a herd of elephants.

That was the house. World Darts Championship. That was the house. World Darts Championship. That was Emma. The backstretching contraption was the house. And he was the baby on the album cover of Nirvana's Nevermind. That was correct. I got a point. A point for both Emma and Angus.

Really got to find the right balance here i think the darts chip i tried to go two down the line on that one i think that was way too like normie here is question number four and this one is by julie by from iowa in the usa and the question is what was the phoebus cartel what was the phoebus cartel while you're writing your answers here's some more info on spencer eldon according to the bbc a u.s judge has dismissed a man's latest lawsuit against devana over the band's iconic 1991 album cover which showed him naked as a baby spencer eldon said his appearance on the front of the nevermind record constituted child sex abuse but the judge said he had left it too late to claim

he'd been exploited the lawsuit focused on a photograph of mr alden which depicted him swimming naked in a pool towards a dollar bill pierced with a fish hook he argued that he had been unable to consent to the picture being used he was seeking 150 grand in damages welcoming the verdict a defense lawyer said the case had been meritless the defense had argued that mr eldon had enjoyed being the nirvana baby noting that he had reenacted the photograph later in life mr eldon's parents were paid 200 for the photo in 1991 by what was then a relatively unknown band also you know if you're mr eldon it's like kirk cabane has already paid a pretty big price was he a twin? The baby?

Yeah. Do you think it was one of those, like, you know how, like, in babies in movies? That's exactly what I was thinking. I think they just did it once. They swapped him out. It's like one held its breath at one point and then they put the other one in. You can only keep a baby underwater for an hour at a time by labour laws.

Legally, yeah. It's a union thing. Mm-hmm. All right, the answers are in. Here's question number four. What was the Phoebus Cartel, an ancient Greek organisation that provided hallucinogenic drugs to temples, a group of businesses that controlled lightbulb sales, bus-based bad boys, a fan club focused on the Friends character Phoebe Buffay?

Or a nickname for NFL player Jerome Bettis? It's weird because I had the word bus in it. I just think that's interesting. That is interesting. Phoebe Bus Cartel. Maybe, yeah, do you think that the bus maybe was short for Phoebus Cartel? Yeah, I think that's exactly what's happened. Wow. Yeah, that think that's exactly what's happened. Wow.

Yeah, that's a funny question. It's also two different forms of transportation in the name bus and car. He's so fast. He's so quick. I guess a car like bus would be a fast bus. And these are the kind of poignant questions you get when you come onto Matt Stewart's Who Knows a Podcast. If we crossed a bus

with a car, what does that look like? How many wheels is that bad boy tracking? I'd love to see a bus with just four wheels. Like, sagging in the middle. Yeah, that'd be awesome. Sparks flying as it drives down the highway. Yeah, hell yeah. Starting a bushfire.

I'd like to see Jerome Beatus with four wheels. I think that'd be cool. I'd like to see Jerome Beatus with four wheels. I think that'd be cool. I'd like to see Jerome Beatus let Rosa Parks sit at the front of his shoulders.

Yeah. I'm going to guess what was the first? The first one sounded right. Ancient Greek organisation. Yeah. Providing hallucinogenics. I'm going to go with that one.

That sounds correct. Both logging that in? Yeah. You two following each other. Let's go through who wrote the answers. Nickname for NFL player, Jerome Bettis. That was Emma. Fan club based on the Friends character, Phoebe Buffay.

That was Julie, aka The House. Not the girl from Chandler. No, not the girl from Chandler. What? So much is going on today. What's happening? Everything's connected. Everything's connected. Everything's connected.

Bus-based bad boys? That was Angus. Yeah, I could tell. The alliteration was going crazy. That was great. An ancient Greek organization that provided hallucinogenic drugs to temples, which you both went for. That was also Julie.

Oh, very good. Well done. Meaning the correct answer was a group of businesses that controlled light bulb sales. Oh, that sucks. Boo. It does sound like what the Phoebus. Phoebus cartel. Yeah.

Where's the bus? Where's the car? But you know what I mean? It's got that sort of whiny name for a group that could only exist in like the 90s. Well done, Julie. That was very. That's a very. The Phoebus cocktail will get you.

I was wondering if one of you knew what Phoebus meant. No. I don't know. I didn't know. I didn't know either. I think it's short for Phoebusy. Oh, Phoebusy. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

If you did know. I think I've seen those videos. There's a bit of a clue because Phoebus was the Greek god of light. But yeah, we knew it was Greek. That's why we guessed the Greek one. Yeah. So we're actually really smart and thoughtful. Yeah.

Yeah, me too. Whatever you knew, I also knew. I didn't know anything. So that means two points to the house. Are men allowed to say me too or is that our word? We're taking it back. We're reclaiming it. That's cool. We're reclaiming it.

So. People are like me too. I like yeah me too quick score update on one point we've got emma holland on three points it's the house but out in front on four points it's angus gordon is the house getting points too you explained this, didn't you? Yeah, for sure. This is classic comedy. You should be getting so mad. You'd be like, Emma. Yeah, smoke's coming out my ears. Stop vaping.

Okay. Jillian. And really, words should be going into hers. I've got her all the wrong way around. Gillian from Toowoomba wrote the following question. Oh, finally, someone local. What was the name of Joseph John Davila's 1919 jazz song that was inspired by a criminal? Smooth criminal.

Lock it in, Eddie. What was the name of Joseph John Davila's 1919 jazz song that was inspired by a criminal? That's question number five. While you're writing your answers, here's some more info about the cartel from wikipedia.org. The cartel, made up of North American and European manufacturers from 1925 to 1939,

worked to limit the life expectancy of light bulbs to 1,000 hours, down from 2,500 hours. They also raised prices without fear of competition, a classic example of planned obsolescence. Hey, while you're still writing your answers, let's go to a quick break. Here's question number five. What was the name of Joseph John Davila's 1999 song,

jazz song, that was inspired by a criminal? Jimmy the Snitch Ain't Snitchin' No More. The Mysterious Axeman's Jazz. Brackets, Don't Scare Me, Papa. Ode to the Man Who Murdered Kurt Cobain. It was a woman. Allegedly. Allegedly. allegedly i won't say her but we're all thing anyway love her work uh the shoplifters lament brackets shooby dooby do what what what what what what or

genghis khan boogie-oogie. Oh. Maybe I'm crazy. Maybe this is like a, like, Bernstein Bear effect thing, but I swear I've heard the Genghis Khan boogie-oogie song, so I'm going to say the Genghis Khan one. Looking it in. What were the ones again? They all sounded incredibly fake to me.

Jimmy the Snitch ain't snitching no more. The Mysterious Axeman's Jazz Don't Scare Me Popper. Ode to the Man Who Murdered Kurt Cobain, The Shoplifter's Lament, Shooby Dooby Doo, Wop Wop Wop Wop Wop Wop Wop Wop, or Genghis Khan Boogie Oogie. I think my favourite was the Don't Scare Me, Papa, Axeman one, so I'm going to go with that. All right, locking that in for Angus.

Let's go through who wrote the answers. Jimmy the Snitch Ain't Snitching No More, that was the house. That is a good name, though. Yeah, it was. Did you write that one? Yeah. I felt like that was you. That's a Matt Stewart.

Yeah, I could tell. Non-derogatory. Yeah, no, I mean. Yeah, I got the subtlety there. The house also wrote, well, Gillian, writing for the house, wrote, the shoplifter's lament, shooby-dooey, dooby-doo-wop-wop-wop-wop-wop. It was one too many wops. It was one too many wops.

If she'd cut a couple wops, I might have believed her. Okay. It's the wops you don't say. That's jazz. Ode to the Man Who Murdered Kurt Cobain, Emma Holland, Genghis Khan, Boogie Oogie. No. That was Angus Gordon.

God damn. One of history's biggest criminals. Is that, there's a song called, oh, I'm thinking of the song Genghis Khan boogie oogie. No. That was Angus Gordon. God damn. One of history's biggest criminals. Is that, there's a song called, I'm thinking of the song Genghis Khan by Mike Snow that came out in like 2011. But that could have been a cover. Yeah, I guess so. Could have been a 1990 jazz cover.

Yeah. Meaning the correct answer is the mysterious Axeman's jazz, Don't Scare Me Papa. I can't believe that. So two points for Angus again. How is he crushing? He's crushing this. What's the secret?

Don't believe in yourself. Oh, well, I'm never going to achieve that. Too much self-esteem. Too happy with my own life. Yeah, that's good. The secret is just have a bit of fun. This episode is running so short. I don't know why.

Is that even without the edits? And I'm going to be cutting all that stuff out. We're flying through it. We can add more questions if you need to. Okay, great. Okay. Here's question number six, the second last question. And this comes from Owen McClcclure from northern ireland

feel free yeah this this one will probably you know i've i've been told by my northern irish friends that my northern irish accent is borderline offensive oh we're gonna do it see if we can offend owen now well i've heard you're supposed to say like how in a certain way but i can't, hell, hell, hell. Is that, does that read? I mean, I don't know. Oh, yes. Yeah, that sounds. There's a video I got sent recently of these Northern Irish kids kicking a ball around.

And they all have the thickest Northern Irish accents I've ever heard. One of them kicks it over the like fence. And I can't do the accent, but he goes, you owe me a tenner in the thickest Northern Irish accent. It's just good stuff. So Google you owe me a tenner. Might bring you some joy. Yeah, I'm trying to think. Who are the famous Northern Irish people?

The guy from. Liam Neeson. Is he Northern Irish? I'm pretty sure, yeah. Yeah. I reckon he'd say how, like you just said before. How are you? How are you? How are you?

And then. They've got some famous combatants. Yes. My friend Mac, he's famous. Who's Jerry Adams? I already got it. It's so crazy to me that they had a full civil war and they just call it the troubles. Yeah, a bit of fun, hey? A bit of fun.

Quite. Play it down. Have you got your answers in for this one? I think so. Did I say? What was the question? Oh, have I not even asked this fucking question? We went on a riff about the guy being from Northern Ireland.

That's so funny. Okay. So, Owen McClure's question is- Thank you so much, Owen. You've given us so much content. What happened across rural Northern Ireland between March 2018 and April 2019? And while you're writing that, let me tell you about the song. It was inspired by a serial killer in New Orleans

who became known as the Axeman. He wrote a letter to the local newspaper saying that he was going to go on a murder spree at 12.15 the following Tuesday night, but he would spare the lives of anyone who was playing loud jazz music in their houses. So the town was just full of jazz music that night, and he didn't kill anyone. That's pretty funny.

And he's never been caught. Well, you'd assume at this point he won't be. Yeah, he probably won't be. I think he's got away with it too. I reckon that was a play from the government. They had a visitor, and they're like, we're a very cultured city. Look, everyone's listening to jazz. Look at all our citizens.

Did they make the song 12 minutes, 15 seconds long as well? Oh, that would have been a beautiful touch. Content and form coming together. He wrote this letter. And edited it with an axe. In the letter he wrote to the newspaper, it was like he called himself a devil. He's not, I'm not human. I'm the devil.

Oh, yeah. God, the devil's always doing that. He is up to no good. He's up to no good. The letter starts, esteemed mortal. Which is a full on way to start. So it is the devil. Yeah, for sure.

That's him. Can you imagine if the devil came back and the way he thought he'd announce it is writing a letter to the local paper? The local paper in New Orleans? Yeah, that'd be. I would go with fire in the sky i'd go with flyering out the front of town hall do you want eternal damnation oh no sorry oh sorry no business people and headphones just trying not to make eye contact i've got a big lecture. Big sermon. Answers are in. Here's question number six. What happened across rural Northern Ireland between March 2018 and April 2019?

A group of friends attempted to live out the plot of the sisterhood of the travelling pants. A gang went on a crime spree stealing 16 ATMs. A local mayor left a number of establishments without paying later saying she believed as a mayor you got everything on the house even when they weren't in her jurisdiction sorry on the house house uh independence or a sheep went on a big muckabout. Oh, muckabout's good. So you've got the travelling pants, ATM thefts, the mayor doing the Don Dash's independence or the sheep getting a bit of a muckabout. Angus pointed to me when you re-read out the Sisterhood

of the Travelling Pants one. That's so sexist. I am. I am sexist. Oh, my bad. Sorry, I didn't understand it was your culture good on em

that was actually a bit much Emma sorry sorry god you pointed out like I'm ashamed of you so sisterhood I don't think it's a sisterhood one that's it cause you wrote it no but because if you've seen the sister of the troubling pants as much as I have, you'd know that they go to different countries and they're like, the whole thing is that they're trying to send it to like different,

like one's in Greece, one's at a soccer camp. Like you can't do that in Northern Ireland. There's one city. Well, yeah, that's true. I guess it's close to Europe. Kind of. Then you had the ATM thefts, the Don and Dash Mayor, independence or sheep muck about.

So you ruled out the top one. Four. Now you're one in four chance. The Mayor one's very funny. Yeah. But that also feels like it's something Matt Stewart would write. It's got that like

wittiness to it. Oh yeah. It's really smart and thought out. And also the phrase house. He's been really enjoying saying house. Yeah, he loves to say house. I am the house. The house.

All right, so that's off the board too. I wrote independent, so it's not that. Which leaves us with two potential answers. The sheep or the ATMs? A sheep went on a big muck about. See, I don't know what that means, so I'm going to go with that one. Okay. I'm going to go on the house one.

The house one? Yeah. All right, well, let's go through who wrote the answers. Independence was Emma Holland. What? You played your cards very close to your chest. If only. Hang in there, friends.

Surely you wrote two. The Sister of the Travelling Pants, I wrote, and, yeah, I did not know the plot of the movie. It's just one of those funny. You've got to watch this film. Matt, it's going to change your life. You've got to watch this movie. Is it worth a look?

Yeah, there's a little bit of death. Actually, there's a lot of death in it. You'll love it. It's really good. Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants, I was not expecting a lot of death. Heaps. There's one funeral and one death. Okay, well, that's normally the combination.

No, but like in the other order. Oh. Yeah. No, I left that one out. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, I'm thinking of death and funeral. My bad.

Then we had a sheep went on a big muck about, which Emma went for. That was Angus. That's obvious. And what, like, because I like emma much like me not understanding the sister of the traveling pants emma didn't understand the the sheep's big muck about that would be something that could happen in rural northern yeah can i explain my thought process for this one sure it seemed like something that would be a big deal you know when a sheep goes on a big muck about and i can't get it and it's kicking over fences

and getting into shops. Someone from Northern Ireland sent it in and I was like, of course he thinks the sheep going on a muck about is huge news. Yeah. That was well played by Angus Gordon. So the correct answer was a gang went on a crime spree stealing 16 ATM. So we whittled it

down though to the right one. Yeah. That's not enough though, that to be in, like who cares? I want to hear about this shit. I know, I should have put more info into it. Did I say the the Mare one? That was written by Owen. Oh he did good, that was a good one. That's really witty. Fantastic work from Owen. So witty that

I thought it was you. Yeah, that's a high praise to you Owen. But instead you wrote the feminist one which was very brave, thank you for doing that. That's also very me. I'm the biggest feminist I know. It's true. I tell everyone all the time. Yeah.

And you could do it a little bit more, though. Sorry, I will. Sorry, sir. When I tell people, I call them a gender traitor. So that means that in that round, it was one point to Angus, one point to the house. Am I still not getting, I'm not racking any, am I? You've got the one.

I'll hang on to that. But you'll love to find this out. Final round's worth triple points. So I can get three total? Six if you get two. Oh, true. You can get, so you can end up equaling Angus this round. I don't want to equal Angus.

I want to be 75% of what he has. Thank God. The natural water. I'm laughing. You're allowed to keep that in. So question. It was her riff. I'm yes ending a woman.

I'm listening. I'm playing along. The final question is question number seven. It comes from Patrick J. Ryan from Brant Rock in, I'm going to say, Massachusetts. Another American. I think so. They're from Brant Rock, MA. Good amount of American listeners.

Unless it's a different country. Ma. Ma. Oh, Ma. Ma. Ma. Ma. Ma.

Ma. Ma, get the cash. Ma. Oh, that's why they call it that. Maybe, yeah. Ma, get the car. Ma. Oh, that's why they call it that. Maybe, yeah. Yeah, smart. And Patrick Ryan's question is, what's the synopsis of the 2002 film Baba Hotep?

That is a great, don't let us do a Hotep thing. That's not fair. You're setting us up. What's Hotep? It is African guys who believe like that Egypt was an African, like a black state. They think that their history has been stolen by like contemporary Egyptians. Is that true? I did not know that. Yeah, that's what HOTEP is. I don't trust him. They also think white people were invented by this scientist

called Yakub, an evil scientist. Wow. That's pretty full onon it is full-on google defines hotep says hotep is a subculture of african americans who use ancient egypt as a source of black pride the community of atrocentrists and has also been described as a proponent of false history so i've actually learned something here today baba Bubba Hotep is going to be a real romp. All right, go on, write your answer. So while your answers are being written, here's some more information about the ATM thefts.

According to the Irish Times, a former All-Ireland Club football champion has been found guilty by the Special Criminal Court of Involvement with a cross-border gang which stole hundreds of thousands of euros by using stolen diggers to pull ATMs from walls. Daniel O'Callaghan won three All-Ireland medals

with the Rangers and was found guilty of all 16 counts against him relating to an ATM theft and an attempted ATM theft in Cavan and Monaghan in 2019. Miss Justice Tara Burns, founder of Callaghan, was intimately involved in the planning of the thefts, which followed a modus operandi seen in several other thefts that the court said were carried out by the same gang earlier in 2019 and 2018 the final attempt to steal an atm was thwarted by the police who were watching as the

gang drove a digger up beside an atm in virginia county cavern in the early hours of august 14th 2019 the police saw a stolen toyota land cruiser in a convoy with the digger. Land Cruiser was pulling a trailer into which the gang intended to place the ATM before taking it to premises at Tully Pole, where the money would be taken from it. Oh, you know, I thought they didn't want the money. They just liked the piece of engineering. They're just ATM enthusiasts. You know how someone should do an ATM theft, but they just set up the ATM somewhere else, and then they get the $2.50 charges on's so smart i think that's what commonwealth bank does yeah yeah they steal them from amz yeah they take from amz and then repurpose them that's canon

so they when they say i believe it's commonwealth when they serve supremacists they they found $438,000. That's heaps of money. According to Owen, the question writer, he said, I thought this was quite a strange crime that you don't hear of every day, but I didn't realise until I was putting this question up that it went on for over a year. I just remember looking at the news every once in a while thinking, huh, there's another one.

What a funny time to be alive that would have been. If only we were. Back in 2019. ATM was my nickname back when I was a criminal because I was automatically a telling machine. I was such a snitch. I always thought ATM stood for, ah, too much money. Have some.

Have some of my money, please. It's all hyphenated. So here is the final question. Triple points, Emma. Yeah. You could get all the way up to level with Angus. I know. And I had a plan to do such, but I believe you foiled it.

And I hope it happens. Here is the final question. What's the synopsis of the 2002, that's our say 2002 film, Bubba Ho-Tep? Four best friends spend their first summer apart in a bid to stay connected with each other. They pass around a pair of denims

that fits each one of them, despite their different body structures. Is that right? That reminds me of the film, The Magic Pants. Reminds me of the film, The Brotherhood of the Shorts. This unofficial Forrest Gump spin-off follows the adventures of Bubba's son, Benjamin Blue Jr., as he tries to establish a shrimp business

to honour his father's memory. But when an unexpected guest visits from Egypt, he learns that there was more to his father than a love of crustacean cuisine. Egyptologist Brian Bubba Johnson has got it all, a successful career, a beautiful girlfriend, and his lovingly maintained 1968 Dodge Charger. But after his beloved car is stolen, along with the diamond engagement ring he'd left in the glove box, Bubba turns to a mysterious and ancient scroll to get back his prized possessions. Will his supernatural plan be smooth sailing or will he learn the hard way that some forces are too

dangerous to be trifled with? Or Elvis Presley and a black JFK live in a quiet nursing home that is plagued by mysterious deaths. When they discover an Egyptian mummy is killing the other residents by sucking their souls out through their anuses. The two decide to fight back. Or Baba Hotep is a fat archaeologist who, despite his intelligence, can't get a date. When on a field trip, he opens a cursed tomb and brings to life a mummy played by Eddie Murphy who teaches him game. He learns to believe in himself and gets plenty of pussy. money of pussy, but in order to win the heart of his beautiful grad student, he must learn to be true to his gentle nature and hide the relationship from the university administration.

I'd love if that was the IMDB description as well. So one of these is real. They're all good ideas, and I'm going to be taking them all and pitching them to various networks. Fantastic. I'm going to be greenlighting them all. Assuming you're coming to my networks. I'll let you guess first, Angus.

What was the two that we didn't write? Read this one out again. So you've got the four best friends spending their first summer apart. Yeah, not that one. Not that one. You've got an unofficial Forrest Gump spinoff. What was the next one after that? Egyptologist Brian Bubba Johnson has got it all.

Yeah, that one. I'm going the Elvis one. All right. Elvis one for Emma. Let's go through who wrote the answers. Four best friends spend their first summer apart in a bid to stay connected with each other. They pass around a pair of denim jeans.

That was Emma. Why would you assume I wrote the Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants one? That's so rude. That was just you. I mean, I've got the, I can screenshot where you sent it to me. It is mine, but I just don't like the assumption. Screenshotting, I think that's appropriating women's culture. The unofficial Forrest Gump

spinoff. That was written by Patrick J. Ryan aka The House. I assumed there'd be like a Forrest Gump Bubba combo somewhere in there. I knew you assumed right. Yeah, I did. And that's called being a smart girl. Boss bitch. That's called being a boss bitch. Then we had the fat archaeologist who, despite his intelligence, can't get a date, ends up getting plenty of pussy.

Plenty of pussy. Plenty of it. And that's subjective as well. How much? That was written by angus gordon ah was it was it at the point where he wrote pussy that as soon as i heard the word pussy i was like well that's gordon what was the word you couldn't spell um sarcophagus oh i was struggling i wanted to say suck off uh yeah i'm with you now suck Suck off a gus. That's my name. Lucky gus.

Well, whenever I find a mummy, I try and get it to do it. They're so well preserved. I think they're called milfs. Milfs. Mummy, I'd love to find. That bandage, it gets me every time. The one that Angus went for about the Egyptologist Brian Bubba Johnson has got it all. That was also written by Patrick,

aka The House. Good one. Good one, Patrick. Meaning the correct answer is Elvis Presley and a black JFK live in a quiet nursing home and is plagued by mysterious deaths. Wow. Black JFK. How'd I get that right? I don't know. You should Google it. Well, the

original answer I submitted that Matt shook his head out was I just copied and pasted the real synopsis. Oh, okay. Did you know about the movie before? No. I Goog Google it. Well, the original answer I submitted that Matt shook his head out was I just copied and pasted the real synopsis. Oh, okay. Did you know about the movie before? No. I Googled it. You Googled it. Oh, okay.

I broke the game. I'm so sorry. He didn't say we couldn't use our phones, or maybe he did. I wasn't listening. I think it was implied. It was fairly implied. So, I don't know. Do you?

That was an implication. Look, even if you give me the points, I'm not winning at this point. All right. You get the points. I don't think she should get the points. Don't get the points? Doesn't make it unprofitable. Oh, so you'll take the man's opinion over mine.

Okay. The person who cheated. Well, like you said. Can I have a half point for tenacity? Okay. Well, hey, what do you think you deserve for that? I think I deserve a triple half points. I think it should be like the Olympics.

Like she comes first for being like the first woman. Yeah, I think that's nice. Triple half points means one and a half points. Yeah. And then an extra 25% because I'm underpaid. Okay. 25%. So you've got to do the math on that.

No, I'm doing this in a Google sheet so I can. And then whatever it takes to beat Gordo. Add that on too uh you've got points every round i don't know how that's possible there's so many answers i don't get it this game's hard so you get 1.875 points that's cool i'll take that yeah all right well um before I do the final score check, Bubba Hotep, apparently it's quite a good film. It's got 79% fresh rating on Rotten Tomatoes. It sounds fun.

It's sucking out through the anus. Yeah. I would have thought the soul didn't come out that way. No, I thought it came out through the pussy. Through the pussy. And the mummy is like wearing a cowboy hat and stuff. Oh, that's awesome. That sounds sick.

Reviewer Peter Travers wrote, this absurdly clever caper is elevated by Bruce Campbell's pensive Elvis into a moving meditation on the diminutions. Fuck. Why did I write a thing that... It's pronounced sarcophagus. A moving meditation on the diminutions of age and the vagaries of fame. I should have probably not picked one of the reviews that I couldn't say.

All right. Final score check in third place or first place in the women's event. On 2.875 points. It's Emma Holland. This is why I think we should divide sports. But on equal, seven points each, it's Angus and the House. Oh, no. So, do you have a tiebreaker?

No tiebreakers. You just live with that. Jewel winners. That sucks. I won. Emma, are you doing shows this final week of the Comedy Festival? I am, and I'm sure my performance here has really sold some tickets. Well, the parts that are left in will be all right.

I'm doing a show called Save the Orangutans in Melbourne. It's at 7.50 at ACMI, and I'm also taking it to Perth, Brisbane, and Sydney. Awesome. If people are there. So not Chandler. Oh, not taking it to Chandler. I'm not taking it Chandler no but you um you said before you're not a maybe that was before we recorded we said you're not an award-winning

comedian but isn't this a moose head award-winning show oh yeah but that's like a that's a grant yeah so it's a funny but it's got award in the name so I think it can I got a lot of money for to put the show on but that's also because I have a giant set that i had to build for it and you know mostly paid for that it's also a hook shop with a cool director normally doesn't the moose heads i didn't have a director we used it all on the set because usually the money's to pay a director and we don't have the money after we built it to pay a director and it's an ironic title right because of your love of palm sugar yeah yeah i love that look that's actually in the show so if you could know i'm sorry you hand out little packets yeah yeah yeah i love margarine uh

angus you burn an ape alive during the show don't you i don't come see the show you'll you'll get it it's like in context don't take it out of context. Spoilers, sorry. The screams are haunting. You got anything coming up, Angus? I will be doing a solo show in the Gold Coast called Questions Towards a Mutually Satisfying Exchange in the first week of May and one at Brisbane at Good Chat on Thursday the 1st of June. Sick. I'm still here at the Comedy Festival in Melbourne doing my show Ding

for the last week here, 6.30 at the Chinese Museum. And I'm going to be at the Brisbane Comedy Festival as well doing this show, the Who Knew It show, on the 14th of May. It's a Sunday evening. You can grab tickets now if you want for all these things. Just Google them. Thanks so much for joining us. Thanks for having us.

I appreciate it. And thanks for tuning in, everyone, to Who Knew It with Matt Stewart. Now that you know it, I've been Matt Stewart. Goodbye. While you're writing your answers. I don't want to say that. Yeah, well, please don't, man. If you don't want to say it, then it must be fucking awful.

My God. Sorry, Matt. Please don't open up these sort of trains of thought to Angus. Well, if we're cutting it anyway, we may as well. We were cutting it. We were cutting it. We're cutting it. So according to Alex.

He's realizing how much work it is for him now. I'm so sorry. This is going out tomorrow. I really can't afford a bed. I'm just going to be chopping. Just big chunks. Big chunks. Yeah.

Just in between questions, just cut, just edit out all of this. Just do voiceover fun facts. Yeah. We can do some like B-roll innocent riffs at the end. You can jump in. We can do some, like, B-roll innocent riffs at the end. You can jump in. It's just... No, run it again.

Run it again. We'll try again. Sorry, Matt. Run the line again. we'll do a different I think I might I'll just leave that one are you are you

marking the time honestly Serlo if he was here he'd be keeping you in line he is a good influence influence because it's so good it's because it's really funny oh my god it's on the mind is this gonna be usable i'm wondering that well it was only because Ben wanted to plug his show

that had to come out tomorrow. Maybe he'll put out the live one I recorded last week. Put this one in the bin. No. No, no, we can save it. Matt, come on. It has to be usable. We can't do this to Matt.

I know. I'm trying my best. You son of a bitch. Fuck. I know. I'm trying my best. You son of a bitch. He walked right into that one map. I mean, I think you've broken the game. No, read it out. What have you done? Nothing.

Mark the time. Mark the cut time. Alright, I've sent you a new answer if that helps you i can't wait to hear how this is edited oh yeah you'll listen to this