Who Knew It with Matt Stewart - 35 - Cass Paige and Dane Simpson

Episode Date: May 8, 2023

Who Knew It with Matt Stewart is a comedy game show podcast hosted by Australian comedian Matt Stewart. This episode was features guests Cass Paige and Dane Simpson!Get tickets to see the podcast/Matt live: https://www.mattstewartcomedy.com/Watch Matt's stand up special FREE on YouTube: https://youtu.be/cWStRpI-BhESupport the show via http://patreon.com/dogoonpod and you can submit questions for the show!Check out Matt's podcast network: https://dogoonpod.com/Theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and Logo by @muzdoodles! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Oh my God, can you believe it? It's the year 2024. It's Melbourne Comedy Festival and we've just moved venues. We're at the Grace Darling now. We had a great run at the Chinese Museum, selling out shows by the end, but now we need you to come over to the Grace Darling and shows are at 7.15. It's going to be so much fun. Love to see you there. Let's have a beer. Use discount code do go on the show's called dry dry at the melbourne international comedy festival then we're going to sydney and brisbane tickets to all that stuff's on sale now and you can find those tickets and details at mattstuartcomedy.com welcome to who knew it with matt stewart the show where the guests write the wrong answers. I'm the titular Matt Stewart and our first guest this week is host of Being Hot Is Hard, the podcast. It's Cass Page. Hello. Do you normally say the podcast?

No, I think it's implied, but you know what? That's pretty, that's making an ass out of you and me, isn't it? It is. I'm the host of Being Hot Is Hard, the concept. It's making an imp out of you and me isn't it it is i i'm the host of being hot as hard the concept it's making an imp out of you and lie no yeah hey you may know our second guest from multiple comedy festival galas it's the king of wogga wogga dane simpson so the way the show works dan is your first time cast has been on a few times oh nice so you're coming up against a previous winner. Oh. And also a previous loser. Yeah.

Okay. When you say your previous loser, you know what? Don't hold back, man. You still continue to lose. That's true. Yes. I lose most weeks. That is fair.

Yeah. In life. Okay. Not just at the game. I forgot that I brought on the king of the sting on, the Roastmaster General himself. So the way the show works is I ask a relatively obscure trivia question and our contestants have to write a convincing fake answer.

I then read their answers as well as the real one and I have to guess which one is correct. So the first question comes from listener Nathan Swapp from Albuquerque in New Mexico. And Nathan's question is, Albuquerque is a city in New Mexico, which makes sense. Brilliant. What does the word Albuquerque mean? Ooh.

Ooh. What does the word Albuquerque mean? While they're writing their answers, I'll explain to the listeners how the scoring works. So you get one point if your fake answer is guessed by the other contestant, and another point if you correctly guessed the answer. And by the way, I'm also playing as the house I've put into my own fake answers with the help of the question writers for each question.

And I get a point for each one of these that I guess choose. So each of us can score up to two points per round, which seems pretty fair, but the probability actually favors me the house and the house always wins. So if you've listened to previous episodes, you'll know that is not necessarily the case. Anyway, our questions come from our great Patreon supporters. If you want to submit a question,

sign up on any level via patreon.com slash to go on pod, linked in the show notes. All right, the answers are in. Okay. Here's question number one. Albuquerque is the city of New Mexico, but what does the word Albuquerque mean? A large bird which originated from that region,

comes from the Navajo word meaning muddy waters, referring to the Rio Grande River. In Latin, it means white oaks and was named after the Spanish Duke of Albuquerque, dusty plains, or it means something is close to, but not fully Albuquerque, synonym of Albuquerque-ish. You've got five very solid options there. The large bird, the muddy waters, white oaks, dusty plains, or Albuquerque-ish.

What are you thinking, Cass? I mean, I'd like to think it's a Navajo word. I don't know a lot about the languages and dialects from that region, but that's certainly the option I would like it to be. Yeah? You're going to go with what you hope? Yeah, my heart's never been wrong before. I love it. I'll follow my heart.

Following your heart? You're playing with an Aboriginal man who's just like, yeah, fall deep into our trap it's always a first nation thing i have to answer that like it's a melbourne it's a melbourne woke thing i have to go with that um regardless of whether i think it's wrong or not yeah it's cast has fallen into your trap you're i'm loving it Did you write that answer? Yeah. It's not too late to change your answer, Cass. Oh, what?

Isn't it? Okay. All right. No, I didn't. I don't know how to play the game. Okay. Can we go through the answers again large bird muddy waters white oaks dusty plains albuquerque albuquerque is really funny i think that are great um which

could be why it is it um funny because it's true that's the bird it's true. That's the bird. It's a plane. It's a dusty plane. That's good stuff. It's a Navajo. I'm going to go with the planes. All right. Dusty planes for Dane. Which is your rhyming song Cockney name, isn't it? Oh, Dusty Plain over here.

Hello, Dusty Plain, you geyser. Yeah, it's pretty good. It's really good. That's a very spot on accent. We do have a few geysers who listen and they'll message in. It's the only thing they could understand. Yeah, yeah. I'm finally talking my language, isn't it? Did you say isn't it?

Isn't it? You wouldn't get it, but that's something that us geysers say. Isn't it? Isn't it? You wouldn't get it, but that's something that us geezers say. Isn't it? All right, let's go through who wrote the answers. A large bird that originated from the region. That was Dane Simpson. He lied to you.

I did lie to you. The Navajo word meaning muddy waters was written by Nathan, a.k.a. The House, the question writer. I've been tricked. Love it. Nathan Swap got you right in his trap. He did. Then we had Albuquerque-ish.

That was The House. It's really good. Dusty Plains, which Dane went for, was Cass. So a point to Cass there. Trick getting truck. That's a good one. Which means no one got the correct answer. In Latin, it means White Oaks and was named after the Spanish Duke of Albuquerque.

Only it's like they just dropped one of the R's from the Spanish Duke's name. Wait, hang on. He was the Duke of Albuquerque? Yeah, that was his title. But so he was already, there was already an Albuquerque. I don't know. I guess. Because if it was named after the Duke,

that's very funny if they named it after the Duke of Albuquerque and not after Albuquerque that already existed. Well, yeah, because I only know it from Bugs Bunny cartoons. Bugs Bunny would always say, ah, took a wrong turn at Albuquerque. I should have turned left. Yeah, yeah. Should have taken a left at Albuquerque.

I always just thought that was a made-up place because it's just a fun name. I guess that's why Bugs would say it. Yeah. Because it was fun to say for Bugs. You know, another, like, Simpsons reference, Krusty the Clown says funny name places, Walla Walla. And I'm like, I live near Walla Walla.

That's like an hour from Wagga Wagga. Wagga Wagga, Walla Walla. Yeah. A lot of great W towns around there. A lot of, yeah. Walgett. Walgett. Well, that's a while away.

A while away. In my head, it's close. West Wyalong. West Wyalong. Fantastic. Another W, double W. Yeah. Too good.

I'm trying to, yeah, it's a hereditary title in this period of Spain. Goes way back to the 1400s or something. Yeah, I don't know. I'm going to offer two scenarios. Yes. One, it was that region was named after him as well. Okay. And this one was named after him.

Oh, yeah. Or two, he came over and didn't say that he was named after this place. So similar to like say I was named after a rugby league footballer. Yes. And then somebody named them after me, I wouldn't go, you're also named after the rugby league footballer player. Oh, yeah. Well, it looks like it makes reference to the town of Albuquerque

in Badeos, Spain. Probably not said that right, but. I reckon you did. Okay. I reckon I know this. One and done. Have you been to Badeos? Very, yeah.

Sorry if I said that too accurately for our Spanish listeners. Sounds like you're having a Budweiser and some Doritos. Yeah, yeah. And I am. A beautiful combination. Tonight we're going to have bandanas. So after one round, the scores are the house on one point, castle on one point, Dane yet to score.

Still anyone's game early. No, that's it. I'm out. This game sucks. I'm going to Albuquerque. I'm out. This game sucks. I'm going to Albuquerque. I'm out. The second question comes from Michaela from Auerbachal country, which is around Newcastle, I believe.

I think it's pronounced Auerbachal. Auerbachal. Thank you, Joe. As a New South Welshman. Wait, no, you're a Queenslander, right? Yeah. Queensland, you've straddled that state of origin divide. I really have because I was born in Bundaberg.

Walgett, so we have like where we like our traditional sort of saying. So we have Koorie, which you might have heard, which is a regional sort of area. And we have Murray's and Murray's are in Queensland, realistically. But it does bleed that border. So we are Murray's in Walgett. So I still claim that as that regional sort of area. But dad doesn't, so he goes for New South Wales.

Oh, so state versus state, mate versus mate in your house. Yeah, it really is. Mum's a Queenslander, dad's a New South Welshman. Love it. And, yeah, my brother's a New South Welshman and I'm a Queenslander. And, you know, obviously I'm a winner. Yes. That's the other side of it.

The Queenslanders do have a much better record, don't they? Yeah, we do. For internationalists, this is a rugby league thing. It's a big, probably one of the biggest sporting events in Australia. It's a three-match series between Queensland and New South Wales. All right, so Michaela's question is, what's the nickname of Major League Baseball catcher Cal Raley? What's the nickname of Major League Baseball catcher Cal Raley? What's the nickname of Major League Baseball catcher Cal Raley?

While you're writing your answers, here's some fun facts about Albuquerque from Nathan, the question writer. Bugs Bunny always got lost in Albuquerque. Oh, here we go. This will explain it. Bugs Bunny always got lost in Albuquerque because the old Route 66 highway used to intersect itself in the city. So travellers could stand on the corner of Route 66 and Route 66.

I finally get that reference. So there's a corner of Route 66 and Route 66 in Albuquerque. That's going to stuff up some out-of-towners. So you're saying that there's a Route 66 highway. Yes. There's two of them. I don't know. I'm confused by this. Yeah. It intersects itself.

Oh, okay. How's that possible? Does that mean it loop-de-loops? Maybe it loop-de-loops. Wow. But then why wouldn't it just join back together? Yeah. Why wouldn't the snake eat the tail? Yeah, that's confused me.

That's hurt my brain a bit. Me too. I reckon there's lies afoot. But, yeah, or is that like a satanic ritual? Oh, yeah. Maybe that's specifically why. That's going to give so much fuel to all those weirdos who like to talk about the devil.

You know when you whisper into a microphone, they can hear you. Well, they're not listening to this show. Unless they're trying to get, like, good information about more devil stuff. Yeah. Yeah. Who are they, by the way? Where are we going with this? You know how the people who love a conspiracy theory,

but they love the religious and satanic conspiracy theories? Oh, yeah. I don't know what their name is specifically. Weirdos yeah i tried to look up a bit of this route 66 thing and apparently they had two versions of the route here's a couple of other fun facts from nathan Albuquerque. Weird Al's 11-minute long song, Albuquerque, was purposely made to be the longest and most annoying song he could think of to troll his fans. He's a weird guy.

Oh, he got us. Isn't he the weirdest? He should put it in his name. He should warn people. He is exactly what it says on the tin. That's coming from cool Dean. Hey, it's exactly what it says on the tin. That's coming from cool Dane.

Finally, the award-winning TV drama Breaking Bad was set in Albuquerque. Oh, there we go. Oh, it was. And that was because the state offered tax cuts and other financial incentives. So, I guess to the, in the show, like to drug? No, there's no tax cuts to the production. Yeah. That makes way more sense. Well, because they keep talking about Albuquerque no tax cuts to the production. Yeah. That makes way more sense.

Well, because they keep talking about Albuquerque and they're like, oh. Right. Put it on the map. Put it on the map. Can I buy some blue meth, please? Yes. Yeah, low tax.

Can I get the GST back? Yeah. Yeah, just fill in this form and get it right back. It's Medicare. Obamacare gives you get it right back. It's Medicare. Obamacare. Yeah. Gives you a little bit back. I can't think of, what's the guy's name? Walter White.

Walter White-acare. Yeah. It wasn't worth going back for. It was. Another W-double-double-w. Oh, a dub-dub. Oh, my God. It is another W-double-w.

Yeah. Walter White. That's freaking me out. Walker, Walker. What could it all mean? Yeah, I should have. Oh, my God. It is another WWE. Yeah. That's freaking me out. Waka waka. What could it all mean? Yeah, I should have said it there. Yeah. Would you guys have, you speak on Waka waka.

Would you have given him a tax break? That's right. There is meth there. The one time I remember, yeah, we call it everyday living. I've been out with Dane a couple of times in Wagga Wagga. He told me he was the king of Wagga Wagga before I went there. Well, people told me he was the king. He never said he was the king.

A king would never say such things. But both nights I went out, I'm like, oh, yeah, he is the king. The thing that really, like, there were multiple lines we cut at these pubs with huge queues. And then at the very end of the night, I went to this kebab shop that was heaving and they saw him walk in and there was so many people waiting he says dame what do you and your mate want and we got out like straight away oh my god why would i move

so good uh yeah and and you know like it's not all swings and roundabouts. I think when you're trying to impress a girl and you drive through the KFC drive-through and the machine goes, is that you, Dane? That's beautiful. No, no, it's because I'm the king. It's not because I come here specifically. It's because everyone knows me. I have a really good social capital here. Please, we'd be so happy in our castle.

That's weird. They didn't know you were Subway, Dane. All right, the answers are in for question number two. What's the nickname of Major League Baseball catcher Cal Raley? Sticky fingers, big dumper, the fast comptroller, big mo, or the big mitts from St. Kitts? That last one's fun. Yeah, rhyming's fun.

Well, I answered first last time, so you can have a go now. Okay. I do like a rhyming that once was a man from Nantucket, so let's go with The Mitz and Kitts. Yeah, you reckon there's Catch catches from St. Kitts? Yeah. For Dane? All right, Cass, what are you thinking?

Well, as Dane and I are specifically sworn enemies, I'll choose a different one. Can I have the answers again, please? Sure. Sticky fingers, big dumper, the fast comptroller, big mo, and then the big mitts from St. Kitts. I want it to be the Big Dumper. I want it to be Big Dumper.

I would like to choose Big Dumper. I like it. You've gone with another aspirational answer. Yeah, and it's not working so far. You're none from one. Yeah. But it's worked for you in the past, I recall. And that was my nickname in high school as well,

so I can understand. Breaking too many hearts? That and I went to the toilet one time. One breaking no wonder it was so big and and yeah they everyone broke up with me because of that all right let's go through who wrote the answers uh sticky fingers that was by mikaela okay the house nice the fast controller was cass i thought they would have to do with his name having the word rail in it. So I was trying to make a train pun and then none of them had to do with trains. I thought it was going to fit in.

I thought it was weird too because fast and catchy was a weird. Yeah, well, like I was trying to think of the trainiest name I could think of and I was like the conductor isn't trainee enough and then I was thinking of Thomas the Tank Engine. So I was like, well isn't trainee enough and then i was thinking of thomas the tank engine so i was like well the fast controller like nah look you know sometimes you'd think i love this i love it the tradiest name yeah it's good to get it inside another the gentle mind of cast i'd written a few and i had to backspace a couple to send it yep the gentle mind sounded like a put down. Oh, no, no, no.

I love having a gentle mind. The gentle energy. The gentle energy of gentle mind. Yeah. Cass introduced me to the concept of gentle energy a while ago and I've become obsessed with it. It's my favourite thing. I introduced you. People with a gentle energy.

You really don't have a gentle energy, Dane. No, no. You've got a brutal energy. I do. I come in hard. Matt's said that I've introduced him to the concept of gentle energy, but clearly introduced me. Yeah.

Look at this energy. So gentle. I had to give it a name when I met him. I was like, God, I've got to have a name for this. Other people are like you. I've met you later, and you're the prototype. Very true. Very true.

I've gone to the supermarket and instead of plain vanilla ice cream it's just said matt stewart yeah yeah that's it home brand vanilla oh old reliable something you know is going to bring you joy instantly something you know is going to gel well with everything you put it in okay now i must say i like how cast cells are better than oh do you know what? If you ever want pancakes, just use vanilla ice cream and just put flour and egg in it. What?

Because you usually put like milk and sugar and vanilla essence and stuff. They've already done it for you. It's already there. You can also use it in your coffee. Vanilla ice cream you can use for most things. Think of all the things that have milk and sugar in it. It sounds like a real healthy diet. Someone who might be known by first name at KFC

might enjoy that sort of life hack. What I also want to see is the vanilla ice cream, which is now your rap name, in concert. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Because I feel like it's just going to be, yeah. Yeah. Can we turn it up?

I'm all hype man. No. No front man, just Yeah, yeah, yeah Turn me up a little Alright No, that's too loud Is that alright?

Is everyone okay? Are we all having a good time? And then you put the microphone out one by one It's so build up that Yeah Yeah Yeah, okay, here we go Here we go

Big Mo, that was written by Dane The Big Mitz from St. Kitts Yeah, okay. Here we go. Here we go. Big Mo, that was written by Dane. The Big Mitts from St. Kitts, that was the house. Meaning the correct answer is Big Dumper. Oh, my God. That's crazy. That is insane. So, again, that is one point to cast one point to the house. How has that a catching name?

It isn't that. It's based on his butt. Really? He's got on his butt. Oh, really? He's got a thick ass. Oh. And his teammates dubbed him that. And it caught on so much that they've got it on merchandise and stuff now. Oh, my God. He's a current player.

It's the one and only, like, occupation where your bullying makes it. Yeah, that's right. It is. It's right on that edge of bullying because like reading about it, he didn't like it early but he's come around to it. But it does make it like, oh, okay. There'd be a point where you would have to come around to it. Otherwise, what do you do?

Yeah, you hope they have a quiet word and they actually stop. Yeah. Because like scenario, scenario okay you're in high school and i'm there there's this legend a legend comes in and just goes oh matt stewart more like poopoo stewart and then you go hey teacher i don't want to be called poopoo stewart anymore and the teacher goes, are you kidding me? T-shirts. Yeah, yeah. What did you say, Poo Poo? Yeah, yeah. The teacher would be like, you're on your own there, Poo Poo.

Sorry, Poo Poo. I've already got pins. I've got stubby holders. And because you didn't actually come up with a name and it isn't really your name, you do not get money for it. You don't get it. The bullies get the money. Oh, my God. They are in the caricature of your face.

I love that. All right. I want to live in that world. Well, I think that's basically the case here. I do. You're the king of Wagga Wagga. I am the king. Yeah.

And what a horrible nickname. All right. Let's get some merch done. I was going to say, as the king, you can decree new nicknames. Yeah. You can name the jesters in your village. I think Pooh Pooh's sure I was onto something. Okay.

Look, I like it. Yeah, great. Because I've already got merch done. I can see you've made your choice about how you're going to deal with this. I think you're usually your best just to go with it. Yeah, you're not coming to me saying, hey, Cass, do you mind if- Please. I mean, I still have the chance to edit this out, of course.

Question number three. Question number three. This one comes from Jacoby DeAngel. I love that. Jacoby's from Sacramento in California. Sounds like a hip-hop version of Buffy's lover. Oh, yeah. DeAngel.

Question three from jacoby is what was unique about king gizzard and the lizard wizards 2021 album lw what was unique about king gizzard and the lizard wizards 2021 album lw so while you're writing your answers i I'll tell the Big Dumper story. Seems it is Mariner's teammate Jared Kelenic gave it to him based on his thick butt. Kelenic made the nickname public after Raleigh got his first Major League start with a tweet that read, Big Dumper to the show. According to Corey Brockron for The Athletic, the tweet generated as much curiosity as it likely did giggles.

Pitcher Logan Gilbert, a good friend of Riley's who came up with him through the system, said he seemed a little sure of the nickname especially at the very beginning but it's kind of endearing in a way. The fans bought into it and they like him and care about him. After the Mariners beat the Blue Jays to win their American League

wildcard series, a chorus of Big Dumper rang out from a gathering of Mariners fans who stuck around to revel in the excitement. Of course, a Big Dumper. Can you sing the song for us? The Big Dumper song? Yeah. It's hard to know what the tune is based on just three syllables.

Just go straight into... Big Dumper. Big dumper. Big dumper. Big dumper dumper. Big, big dump. Oh, nice. I love that. I would have joined in.

Yeah. Yeah, that's definitely a crowd pleasing. Yeah, yeah. This crowd is pleased. What about, hey, big dumper. Oh, yeah, that's right there. Dump. Dump. Something big on me. A little big dumper. Oh, yeah. That's right there. Dump.

Something big on me. A little big with me. A little load, but that's not okay. A little load on me. Well, yeah. Dump a little ball. Yeah, because he's catching it. So you dump a little ball in me. Because I think that then it makes sense based on his baseball position.

Oh, Van ice cream. You have a new verse. You've given me a lot of nicknames today and I like them all. Raleigh said, I love it. I think it's great. My mum had other opinions about it, but it's good. Gets the fans involved and they have fun with it. And that's what it's all about.

It's a good time. That is a concession. You see, you've got to own it. Embrace it. As long as you're having fun with it, that's what baseball's all about. It's a good time. That is a concession. You see, you've got to own it, embrace it. As long as you're having fun with it, that's what baseball's all about. I think the Hokey Pokey has something to say about that because that's what it's all about. All right, the answers are in. So here is question number three.

What was unique about King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizards 2021 album LW? All right, here are your options the album includes a one-hour track called summer sausages on the barbie which is just a recording of sausages sizzling on a barbecue there are no drums the drummer instead used household objects for his parts the first commercial use of l representing lose and w representing win as well as their usual instruments you you can also hear an MRI machine, hammers, power tools, a drawbridge, a chainsaw, an angle grinder, a hammer and an anvil.

Dung. Some of those are funny noises. How are they going to fit in? Well, finally, on top of being released on vinyl CD and to stream, it was the first album that was available to buy as an injection straight into your veins. Oh, that's, that's. Huh.

So I think back to you, Cass. I'm absolutely going to go Anvil. Anvil. Because I want to leave here and listen to a song with Big Donk in it. Yeah, yeah. Big Dump or Big Donk. Big Dump or Big Donk. Yeah. That's, that's, I want to hear that it. Yeah, yeah. Big Dumper, Big Donk. Big Dumper, Big Donk. Yeah.

That's, I want to hear that song. Yeah, yeah. Big Donk, that's one of your nicknames, isn't it? Big Donk, yeah. I remember. I remember being called Big Donk. Short for donkey, obviously. And they're already pretty big.

And they're, it's because in the morning I'd be making waffles. Ah, yes. You've got big donkey energy. You're like Parfait. A lot of layers. Yeah, love a boulder. And yeah, I hooked up with a dragon once. Yeah.

Don't tell her. So you got the barbecue sounds, pots and pans or household objects for the drums, L and W meaning lose and win. The one that Cass went for with the MRI machine, hammers, etc. Or being injected straight into your veins. I'll go because we're arch nemesis. Yes. With no drums. No drums. Household objects. All right, looking that in for Dan. Yes. With no drums. No drums.

Household objects. All right, looking that in for Dan. Let's go through who wrote the answers. The Summer Sausages on the Barbie track. That was Jacoby, aka The House. That was a tempting one. Yeah, you sort of believe it. Someone's a fan of King Gears if you're hearing that.

Yeah. I love the idea of it's an 80-minute album. Yeah. And a half and an hour of it. Yeah. Is taken up with just one track. Just sizzling at the end. So, they've done three songs.

Yeah. And then they've just, well, four songs. And the fourth is just majority of the CD. They do average about two albums a year or something. So, you know, eventually you're just going to. Yeah, wasn't it one of them got recorded on like some instagram video or some video being like yeah we'll make 10 albums this year and then someone leaked the video or it was but i don't remember the story but they were recorded saying they were going to release 10 albums and then they did oh people like did you

hear the new king goes out what i'm like respectfully no which one that's very stressful being a fan of this it was so much coming out at once i normally like to really give a new album a go you know i know i barely have two i don't have two months for all of them i can't let it simmer yeah but i think they did like a jazz album and they did all these different genre albums was very impressive but oh my god not a gun infinity one of my favourite albums of all time. Yes. I was hoping it was a question about that one. I'm like, oh, yeah, I can do this one. The L&W one, that was Dane. Yeah.

I forget where we got up to. The Injecting a Strand in Your Veins, that was a house. Meaning one of you is correct. Oh, no. There Are No Drums. That one, which Dane picked, was Cass. Meaning Cass got the correct answer. And the correct answer.

Hell yeah. MRI, hammers, power tools, a drawbridge. Has someone written, have they told me which one's the anvil one? It's all on the final track of that. Oh, all on the final track? Yes. Okay, I'm downloading it now. KGLW it's called.

I believe it's the final track on LW. And that means two points to cast that round. Well done. Jumping to a lead of. Jumping to the lead? Jumping to the lead. Was equal with the house. Now on the lead alone on four, the house on two, Dane.

Don't say that. Still yet to score. This is like billiards rules where if I don't like sink a ball, I show my undies sort of thing around the table. Yeah, you run around the podcast booth. Oh, my God. There are so many albums here. There are so many albums.

There are so many albums. Oh, no. Okay, there's not 10 in one year. I got that wrong. I probably got a lot of my facts wrong. One, two, three, four. So, it's five in one year, two in another. One, two, three. Still impressive. it's five in one year, two in another. One, two, three.

Still impressive. Three in another, two in another. Wow. One, two, three, four. They did five last year. Are they resting? Are they resting? How are they?

Are they okay? They released that album where the opening track is about being overworked and then they've released like 15 albums since. Boys! I genuinely feel like they're like, what do you think of this? That's ready. Yeah, it's ready. Put it out.

But it's all good. It's all good. All right, we're up to question number four. Hitting the halfway mark here. This one comes from Theo in Melbourne. And Theo's question is, what happened in the Netherlands on the 28th of March, 2023 that made the news?

So only a couple of months ago, what happened on the 28th of March, 2023 that made the news? While you're writing your answers, here's a little bit more info about that King Giz album. God, I wish I read the news. Me too. According to Jacoby,

a day before mastering the final song titled kg lw guitarist joey walker came to frontman stew mckenzie with a series of samples he'd recorded and wanted to put in samples included an mri machine hydraulic hammer drawbridge chainsaw nail gun and angle grinder they laid that audio over the top of what was already recorded and were able to get everything done just in time to master the final version jacoby says i've seen them play the song live and sadly can confirm they do not use any of the equipment on stage just wiggling out an mri, rigging it up to a microphone. With a patient.

They're like, we couldn't afford to take it from the hospital without a patient. It's hard to use, surely, like to record because I'm thinking magnets? Yeah, how do you record an MRI machine without metal? Yeah, I don't know. Je poopoo uh but yeah uh he said that you can play the track he said there's two different versions so you're gonna find the right one kg lwfl w and jump to about five minutes 30 to hear the noises in full effect i reckon we're jumping to five minutes 30? Yeah.

That's a long track. I reckon he's come back to the studio and he went, look, I tried to record it, but the magnets pulled my microphone in, but it went a little something like this. Yeah. Ooh. Yeah, because he brought a pre-recorded. You think he just did, and then the hammer was like bang bang bang bang bang

I love the idea of a guy that's come back with did you record the bridge yep yeah yeah the bridge you're in charge of the writing the bridge for the song did you record the bridge? Yep. Yeah, yeah, the bridge. Bridge! You're in charge of writing the bridge for the song. Did you get that? Oh, the bridge of the song. Oh, no. All right, while you're still writing your answers, let's go for a quick break. So here is question number four. What happened the netherlands on the 28th of march

2023 that made the news an archaeological dig uncovered the fossilized remains of a four-legged man changing everything we thought we knew about our early ancestors new helmet laws for cyclists due to road accidents a giant meatball made of flesh cultivated using the DNA of an extinct woolly mammoth was unveiled. The sale of peanuts became illegal for a day due to a typo in a new law that was meant to ensure clear labeling of products containing peanuts. Or a woman celebrated her 115th birthday. Putting her health and longevity down to her strict diet of edible bulbs, she easily blew out all 115 candles on her onion cake. So you've got...

While wearing clogs. They're all very Dutch, aren't they? So you've got four-legged man, fossil, new helmet laws, giant mammoth meatball, peanuts being illegal for a day, or the onion woman. I'm first. Yeah. I've got some.

There's a couple of law ones in there. Yes. So you've got the peanuts illegal for a day and you got the helmet laws because of road accidents. Because they famously were a non-helmet country. Yes, the cyclists. Famously. I'm saying that thinking, I think.

Maybe not that famous. It's too obvious. Peanuts. I'm going to go with peanuts. Peanuts? Peanuts for Dane. What are you thinking, Cass? I am thinking flesh meatball.

Flesh meatball. Again, is this what you want to be true? I think I've heard about it, actually. Yeah, right. I think I've heard about the flesh meatball. Have you been reading the news? No, I haven't been listening to the news. Yeah, yeah.

From the mouths of babes. Actually, I probably know. You've been listening to baby news. the mouths of babes. Actually, I probably know. You've been listening to baby news. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Babies love meatballs. Keys. All right, let's go through.

That's the jingle for the news. It's just the sound of keys jingling. That's how the babies know to come to the news. And then the babies are also, they're telling other babies the news. Yeah, it's baby news. So it's what's of interest to babies. Baby love meatball. It's how they get you in.

All right. Let's go through. We wrote the answers. The four-legged man fossil. That was the house. I didn't like it that much either as I wrote it last night. The new helmet law. That was Dane Simpson.

Am I right in saying that they don't have a helmet law? So that would be significant. And it's been significant in our culture lately, actually, because somebody wrote a little paper saying that if, because obviously if you wear a helmet, you're safer. You are. But it turns out that we don't ride as many bikes in Australia purely because of that law.

And what would be worse than not being healthy? Right. So, like, yeah, they said the net gain would be no helmets. No helmets equal war. Is it stopping people because it makes them think it's less safe or it's just the hassle of being like, oh, I need to get a helmet to ride this thing? Yeah, not picking up a bike and riding a bike. Yeah. like, oh, I need to get a helmet to ride this thing. Yeah, not picking up a bike and riding a bike.

Yeah, if you could just pick one up and go, then you don't need to bring anything. But if you have to plan your day around carrying a helmet. Yeah. But I think it's like what they have in other countries where motorbikes are more common than cars. It's safer to ride a motorbike there because everyone's on motorbikes. And if more people were riding bikes and there were fewer cars,

it would be safer to be on a bike because you'd have less of a chance of getting hit by a car. And then there's more likely to be better bike infrastructure and stuff. Yeah. Yep. Which I think, like, am I right? The Netherlands are really good at that. Yeah.

Yeah. But everyone should have a gun at the end of the day is what I'm trying to say. Everyone should have a bike and a gun. But no helmets. Bulletproof vest, nude head, head to the crows. You got my vote, Dane. Then we had the woman, the onion woman turning 115. That was also the house.

I was starting to lose my mind when I was writing some of these. He's so proud of that. I love onion woman. She's eating a cake of onions and then she's just turned into the onion woman. You are what you eat, you know. That's all she is. She's strict diet cake of onions and then she's just turned into the onion. You are what you eat, you know. That's all she is. She's strict diet of edible bulbs. The sale of peanuts becoming illegal, which Dane went for.

That was Cass. Oh. Yet again. And the giant meatball was correct. So, again, Cass gets maximum points there. Hell, yeah. Just flying to a huge lead now. Absolutely.

Leaping on my helmetless bike. Dane in big danger of having to do a nudie run. Oh no. Is that what Dane's short for? Danger? Oh, a new nickname. Merch has been made. This is a alert

going off somewhere back in Wagga Wagga whenever a new nickname is discovered. Alert goes off there. Alert goes off. The T-shirt press. It comes to life. Yeah, it goes to Redbubble.

All right, we're up to question number five, which comes from Zoe DL from Epping, New South Wales. This could be like a Louis CK situation. Hang on. Where we just spell it DL. Yes, okay, I see what you're saying yeah that's a better louis ck situation to be called in i'd say well yeah you know or be a comedian you know yeah that's what i meant yeah yeah of course uh so zoe's question is which of these is a real species

of bird oh so you're just basically gonna make up a species of bird? Oh, yeah. So you've just basically got to make up a species of bird. Yeah, brilliant. And while you're writing those answers, here's some more info about the big meatball. This is Theo paraphrasing a Reuters article by, this is one of the best journalist names I've ever come across, Charlotte Van Kampenhout. Ooh.

I'd read any of Charlotte's work. CVC. Oh, yeah. Charlotte Van Kampenhout. Ooh. I'd read any of Charlotte's work. CVC. Oh, yeah. Charlotte Van Kampenhout wrote for Reuters. CEOs very generously paraphrase it. Writing, the meatball was created by Australian company Vow. Hey, should we not be proud of that? I'm proud of it.

Put it on the flag. What was the meat? So it was lab-grown meat, and they did it to sort of get people talking about a more sustainable alternative to real meat. So the meatball was made of sheep cells and mammoth myoglobin, which is responsible for the smell, colour and taste of the meatball. Gaps in the mammoth DNA were filled with African elephant DNA,

like in Jurassic Park, only no animals were created or killed in the making of the meatball. So they say. You know, life finds a way. It finds a way. Listen to that meatball scurrying around. The meatball has the aroma of crocodile meat, but is currently not ready for consumption.

Cook it longer. Put it back through the pizza maker. So Vow founder Tim Noakesmith said, its protein is literally 4,000 years old. That means we want to put it through rigorous tests. We wanted to create something that was totally different from anything you can get now. I think they've achieved that.

That's cool. Mammoth meat. Have you eaten crocodile? I don't think I have, no. Have you eaten crocodile? Yeah, I thought you said truck-a-dile. I think I might have. Oh, okay.

Because I was like, oh, I love that mix. Truck-a-dile? Yeah, like they've mixed a crocodile and a was like oh okay because i was like oh i love that mix truckadile yeah like they've mixed a crocodile in a truck yes oh i thought like it's it's a crocodile who's eaten a trucker and then you eat the crocodile like a tadaka and only a yeah you need one more the the trucker has to have eaten a chicken or something first. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe the. Trucker doll dicken. No, that doesn't sound. Trucker dicken. Trucker dicken. I reckon a trucker dicken doll.

Trucker dicken doll. I've seen that number written. Yeah. At truck stops along the Hume Highway. Trucker dicken doll. Meet Big Toby at 2pm. Trucker d and Dog. Meet Big Toby at 2pm. Trucker Dick and Dog. That's good stuff.

Oh, it looks like the answers are in for question number five. Which of these is a real species of bird? The red-felted tit? No. The green-thighed, white-bellied parrot? Chicken cormorant? Spinnathaker? Or the big-footed, small-Headed Normal Body Booby.

I love that name. Can we have it again? Can we get those again, please? So we have the Red-Felted Tit, the green-thighed white-bellied parrot, chicken cormorant, spinner thaker, or the big-footed, small-headed, normal-bodied booby. Also my nickname in hard times. I'm going to have to follow my heart on that one.

It's too funny. And your heart's taking you to the... Yeah, it is. Where's your head or your heart taking you, Dane? My heart's taking me to red tit. Red tit? Red felted tit? Yeah.

Locking that in for Dane. All right. Well, here's who wrote the answers. The chicken cormorant. That was the house. What does cormorant mean? It's a kind of bird. And chicken corm is a kind of curry.

So I brought those two together for a very clever answer. Oh, there we go. Oh, that is clever. That went over my head. There's nothing more clever than a portmanteau. Think slightly ironically. That's a portmance pun. Oh, no, don't worry about it.

I thought that would. Don't worry about it. Never mind, guys. The gizzards would release that in their album. Oh, no. I'm not worthy. Spinnethaker. That was Dane.

The Big-Footed, Small-Headed, Normal-Bodied Boobie. That was written by Zoe in the House. Zoe. I think Zoe's what? I think she had maybe the Big-Footed Boobie and I added a couple extra. I'm like, that's the start of something beautiful. And then the Red-Felted felted tit which dane went for that was cass you've got tricking me isn't that amazing trickery that comes through you've never met before but cast

knows just exactly how to get you get me yeah i'm loving it i'm loving it uh means the correct answer no one got this time the green-thighed white-bellied parrot. Green-thighed. Yeah. Isn't that weird? That's such a weird description for a parrot. They're real adorable looking birds. Does that mean the bird looks like it's wearing pants?

I don't know. I don't. No. Not really. But they're. It looks like it's wearing a leotard. Yes. That's right.

So it's just, yeah, it's got the green. It's funny that they call them thighs. I guess that's what you call a bird's leg. Well, if you ate them, you'd call them thighs. Yeah, so I guess that makes sense. But they look so fluffy and they're just a great-looking bird. They are a great-looking bird. It's a great-looking bird, if I was a gazer.

Isn't it? Isn't it? Isn't it? isn't it? So that means one point to Cass, one point to the house. Dane, we've got to get you on the board. Oh, no. Oh, no.

I mean, I'm not doing great either, but I'd love to. And the final round is worth triple points. So you've still got, there's still possibility for you to still win this. You can still triple yourself. Oh, excellent. We've got two more rounds to go. This is fantastic. This is question number six.

Okay. And it's from Mr. Heggie from Gumball Dunks in England. Mr. Heggie's a great tattoo artist. He drew my little beer man tat. I love your little beer man tat. Yeah, that was his work. He's got a great style. I love your Little Beer Man tat. Yeah, that was his work. He's got a great style. I love his vibe. I never met him.

I just messaged him saying, do you reckon you could do some sort of beer tattoo for me? I'm on this beer TV show. Aw. And he sent over a bunch of different options. What a legend. What's he to Luke Heggie? Yeah, I wonder. I guess maybe his dad, Mr. Heggie.

Yeah. Another arch nemesis. Yeah. Mr. Heggie's question is, what is unique about actor Michael McDonald? Double M. Ooh. What do you get if you turn double W upside down? Michael McDonald.

What is unique about actor Michael McDonald? While you're writing those answers, let me tell you more about the bird. According to Zoe, grain-thighed white-bellied parrots more commonly known as white-bellied caiques uh they're ridiculously cute parrots from the upper region of south america known for their energy and playfulness a popular choice for a pet although expensive in australia they're known for being comical and cuddly if a bit loud should be noted though that they require a lot of attention and if neglected or ignored, they, like all parrots, may become aggressive or even start to self-mutilate and pull out their feathers.

Jeez Louise. Please research before adopting any bird and consider bird-sitting or fostering one first to make sure they're the right match for you. Birds are a lot of work. Yeah, I didn't realise. Especially parrots. Some parrots have the brain capacity of like a three-year-old.

Wow. And then they live for like 50 years. That to me sounds like you get, that's your punishment. Like if reincarnation is real, you get put back in the body of something that is going to be three years old for 50 years. Yeah. Sometimes they live to 100, right? Like parrots live really old. Three years.

I thought, I remember being three years a bit of fun. Yeah, because you're looking back on it. Have you ever seen a parrot walk up to a cup, pick up the cup and just start screaming into the cup? No, but I also wasn't caged. They let you fly. Also, you don't have hands. Yeah, it's pretty brutal, but. They seem happy, but yeah, if you're adopting a parrot, imagine you are going to be entertaining a three-year-old for the next,

maybe the parrot might outlive you. Have you ever seen them walking around stomping? That's a three-year-old. It's so good. You've given a three-year-old the ability to fly and scream and do not very much else. Paragraph? Actually came in early with that.

Paragraph. She wrote a whole paragraph. That's the stupidest thing we've said today. There we go. And we've said that's quite a lot of competition, but I think that might- That's a track on the Gizzard's new album. Paragraph.

All right, the answers are in. Here is question number six. What is unique about actor Michael McDonald? Ronald McDonald's only living heir. He has been killed on screen by both Mike Myers and Michael Myers. He created the McDonald method of acting, which involves living alone in the woods while preparing for a film. He was the first person to say they understood Inception even though they didn't really understand Inception.

Or sued Steven Seagal for a common assault during the filming of a movie. So Ronald McDonald's only living heir killed on screen by both Mike Myers and Michael Myers, created the McDonald method of acting, sued Steven seagal or said he understood inception even though he didn't really understand inception we back to you cass oh no this is no i laughed way too hard at normal body that's right um i reckon killed on screen killed on screen by both mike and michael what can i am for dame what are you thinking cass oh no that's a good answer i reckon okay in that case i'm gonna

i'm gonna go for uh i hope you sued steven seagal you're wishing that i love how you're you're all yours like i hope this one's real and this one's about suing steve i hope he isn't hope he sued steven seagal steven seagal is who i'm thinking of he needs a good suing yeah i think it might be who you're thinking of yeah all right well let's go through who wrote the answers ronald mcdonald's only living air that was cass which is fantastic stuff. That's great. Thank you.

I feel like you're helping me on this one. Just go. I'm just breaking the cycle, Dane. It's not this one. It's the first thing I thought of. I couldn't think of anything else. I was like, oh, owns a really big farm. I'm like, no.

That's great. That's great. He created the McDonald method of acting. That was written by the house. I love that. Would He created the McDonald method of acting. That was written by the house. I love that. Would you follow the McDonald method of acting? Oh, I'd love to go live alone in the woods. Sounds fantastic.

You can do that. What? And prepare for a film. I'm in. They won't let you do that. They'll let you do the first part. I was thinking like, I had all these silly ideas, like the method was eating things that the character would use. Like, so if it was a librarian,

then having a strict diet of blended books. I couldn't get the words down to make it concise enough. Just the eating script with milk? Oh, that's better. That's what I should have been. Yeah, shredded script. Oh, damn it. Can we go back?

Into your body. And it also falls into one of your gags about cocoa bars. I feel like the milk's doing the heavy lifting, like the script is like... You get most of the nutrients from the milk. Calcium. gripped is like it contains most of the nutrients calcium more than 100 if you recommend a daily intake of uh fiber that's true very fibrous paper fibers it still counts the first person who say they understood inception that was written by mr heggie aka the house that is really funny by the way i love it i love it it's a good bit it's a good

bit because we all understood inception yeah oh yeah yeah yeah yeah great movie about spinning the thing yeah that was very key part of it yeah well to tenant i think the floors of the walls i get it that man loves time so much oh man he every time he makes a movie i think everyone should have this opportunity he just he gets a lot, I think everyone should have this opportunity. He gets a lot of money and he gets to do this little project about his favorite thing, which is time. You're so right. You are blowing my mind. Every single movie, he's like, okay, what if time was a circle?

I was like, okay, what if time was different because you go into it? Except for Batman. What if time goes backwards? What if time was Batman? Yeah, what if time was Batman? Even Insomnia, which I think is one of the coolest concept show movies. Have you seen Insomnia? No.

Oh, my God. It's set in one of the countries where the sun never sets, and it's like a crime investigation. So this detective gets sent over there to solve this crime, but he can't sleep because the sun never sets. So every single gritty chase scene is set in stark daylight. Every single thing is in like blaring sun and he just goes insane because he can't sleep. Yeah.

It rules. And that's about, yeah, not having night, which is also about time. Yeah. Memento is backwards in time. Uh-huh. It's the whole movie is shot back to front. Christopher Nolan loves time. Tenet came out and I'm like, oh, he did it again.

I'm excited for Oppenheimer. Figured it out. More like Oppen-timer. We don't know how yet. We don't know how yet. So, cast went for a suit Steven Seagal. Dane wrote that one. Dane's on the board.

He's on the board, baby. Oh, that's a good one. Inspired by, he actually does strike his stuntman. Yeah. Yeah, I've heard that. Whether they want him to or not. Like 100%. Wow.

So, you know how they do, like, funny touches and hits and you can mock punch someone. Yeah, we figured that out. You can mock punch someone. You can mock punch, apparently. So, it turns out, Stephen, you can mock punch someone apparently no so it turns out steven you can mock this yeah it doesn't look the same yes it does does he also allow them to fully punch him no it's a one-way street okay oh that feels right yeah it's similar to me wearing batman's undies i don't feel like he's got any Dane Simpson merch at all, not even a pin. And if he did, he'd wear them on the outside.

He'd have it, yeah. And that means, Dane, you also got the answer correct. He has been killed on screen by both Mike Myers and Michael Myers, the only actor to claim that feat. So two points for Dane. Excellent. That's so, Michael Myers. Yes.

And Mike Myers. Yeah. Have killed, I'm assuming, Austin Powers. Yep. He was the guy that got, remember the steamroll? Oh, fantastic. The slow steamroll scene. What a great death.

And Michael McDonald, we're talking about the singer from the Doobie Brothers. No, that's true. There is a Michael McDonald. This is the comedian actor from like Mad TV and stuff. This guy. I don't know if you'd recognise him. Oh, yes, absolutely. Apparently he had a bit part in all three of the Austin Powers films.

That's crazy. I really wish it was the other. The robot block taker from long ago. You know that? Yeah. Imagine that's like his only two on-screen things. I'll only be on screen if I'm killed by a Myers. So we're up to the final question.

This one is the one that will take you the longest to write, Dane. This is a movie synopsis. You have to write a short paragraph for this one. Okay. And it comes from Cheryl Dean from Huntington, or Huntington, in the UK. And Cheryl's question is, what is the synopsis of

the 1953 film The Titfield Thunderbolt? What was that title again? The Titfield Thunderbolt. She's got to write a short movie synopsis about it, you know, two, three, four sentences, long kind of thing. While your answer is being written, here's some more info about Michael McDonald from Mr. Heggy. Michael James McDonald is an American stand-up comedian, actor, screenwriter and director. He's best known for starring in the sketch comedy show Mad TV. He was the henchman that was run over by Mike Myers in the iconic steamroller scene in

Austin Powers International Man of Mystery and plays Little John in Halloween Kills and gets stabbed a whole bunch of times by Michael Myers. Since his debut in 1978, Michael Myers has killed over 120 people in the Halloween film franchises. It is currently unknown how many people Mike Myers may have murdered. And Mr. Heggy finishes by saying,

Michael Myers is Shrek? That makes you think. Alright, the answers are in. Here is the final question. What is the final question. What is the synopsis of the 1953 film The Titfield Thunderbolt? Titfield in Kansas was a once beautiful small town until a local mayor bankrupts the town trying to turn it into a gold mine. When recently retired action hero Mike Thunderbolt ends up in town

after his car breaks down, he realises what the town has to offer and decides to help the locals bring it back to its former glory. Does he have what it takes to go up against the mayor and win? Beautiful question. Well asked. I love that there's so much, like, people put so much emphasis on the mayor in America. Yeah, the mayor.

The mayor. I couldn't name my local mayor. Could you? No. Well. You, as the king, you'd probably be able to. You got to pick the mayor. Friends with.

Yeah, friends with the mayor. Comes to my shows. Yeah. The bad bands. I think country town's a different scenario. Country city. Is it a city? City.

City. Whatever. Who cares? I can see the fury in your eyes. How dare you? We are a city. Here's option two. John Cannon, an innocent man, is sentenced to death and enters a prison car race where they battle to the death.

Option three. The residents of Titfield, a small English village, are about to lose their ancient railway. They decide to attempt to rescue it from closure by buying up the line and running it themselves, putting them in direct competition with the local bus company. Things don't go smoothly though with runaway trains and sabotage from the bus company. A family spend their summer on an isolated farm left to them by an estranged aunt. After a strange green flash consumes the farm on their first night, the family start to notice people in old-fashioned clothes ploughing the fields at midnight.

Or your final option. The Thunderbolt Cup is a prestigious award given to the winner of a daring cross-country motorbike race. Only the best and most experienced riders survive, but will Stanley Titfield, the local postman, have what it takes to win when he accidentally enters the race on his rounds? I love... Man, that's my favourite synopsis of a movie is where someone accidentally enters a competition.

Yeah. I mean, going through watching the film, I don't know if I'd enjoy, but just hearing that that is the plot, I love. You'd love Mr Bean. Have you heard of this guy? I love him. It's just, I can't. Just going on a ride.

Oh, there's other people around. This is cool. The whole farm relies on you winning this. What happened? You need this. Why? How did this? How did that happen?

How did that happen? Well, how did he? He didn't finish his rounds then. Yeah. Bad postie. Sack him. On your rounds, you've only ever got to ride about five feet to the next drop-off.

I mean, this is in a country town, was it? Oh, yeah. Farms are big. Farms can be big. You won the race. You saved Titterfield, but you failed to deliver all the water. You're sacked. You're sacked.

It's like losing Beerio Kyle on the technicality that you didn't finish your beer. He's like, oh, but I won the... Did either of you have an instinct here? Anything stick out? I'll try and break them down quickly if you need. Yeah, quick cap. So we had the Kansas one where the mayor tried

to get a gold mine going. Then we had the innocent man, John Cannon, having to race to the death in jail. We had Titfield in England where the residents bought the train because it was going under. Then we had the family spending a summer on a farm and then weird people started playing on the fields at night or the postman accidentally getting into a race.

You're smiling so hard at that one. I write. They're my favourite. Yeah. Whoever wrote it, including the Hollywood writer, if that's who it was, I love your work. Well done. Okay, I'm personally torn between the train and the prison.

Train and the prison. Yeah, great. I can't pick which to pick, and it's the seventh one, so if you want to pick first, you're welcome to pick first. It's whoever gets in quick. I'm going to go the plough field. Plough field? Plough field for Dane. You've not made my choice easier at all.

You've still got the two. So the prison. The prison or the train i no i'm gonna go prison i want to go prison i love it lock you in prison for cass i reckon they were thinking of that kind of thing in the 50s yeah 1953 a great year for prison car race movies to the death um you've got to really put yourself in the mind of a yeah plastic is new yes amphetamines are here yes drink driving's not illegal not yet there's no breathalyzers how would we even tell there's no way to check mario kart can be played under any condition why is there anyone in prison all, here's who wrote the answers.

The mayor coming and bankrupting the town, turning it into a gold mine. That was Cheryl. Okay, the house. Nice. That's great. And Cheryl also wrote the one about the postman accidentally entering the race.

And you know what? Winner, regardless. No, I agree. That's the people's champion. Let's get that right. Yeah. Hollywood's wrong. Stupid old studios. What are you doing? I know. I'll get an Evan on the blow. Let's make it happen.

Then we had Cass went for John Cannon, the innocent man racing to death. That was Dane. Yes. Three points to Dane there. I want to watch that movie. I want to watch that movie.

Yeah. I reckon we've pitched some great movies here. I'm green lighting them all. Thank you. Thank you. I love this one as well about the family. It's like maybe a horror film almost. The people ploughing the fields in old-fashioned clothes.

That was Cass. So you picked each other's. Great movie. Meaning the correct one. Great ideas all around. The correct one was probably my least favourite. It was the one where the town take over the railway line, which you almost picked Cass.

With the bus? With the bus company. It was a comedy apparently, but the review said it wasn't very funny. That's so much to happen in a movie. It's a lot going on. Also, why? But the review said it wasn't very funny. That's so much to happen in a movie. It's a lot going on. Also, why?

What, this bus company is a company in the 50s? Yeah. Like, it's, what a crazy. And a small English village as well. Yeah. So, the Titfield, whatever it was called is the name of the train, the Titfield Thunderbolt. The whole town coming together to put, that's so much money. I feel like half of the film would, I would argue that an entire film could be made around having to raise the funds to restore and then do everything involved with getting a train on the tracks.

I reckon stop catching the bus. It just doesn't make sense. Like, you're not giving them money. They can't fund their evil project. Yeah, and if the whole town. Yeah. Yeah, that's right. If the town had done it.

Who's the bus company's customer then? It turns on. Everyone in the town's like, oh, we hate that bus company. One ticket, please. I'm guessing there's more to this movie. We should watch it. Wait, wait, wait. Let's watch the movie.

Okay. Cordona Sherald, the Thunderbolt, is a genuine veteran locomotive that was used in the film. Its real name is Lion. It was built for the Liverpool and Manchester Railway in 1838, making it 115 years old when it was used in the film. I only assume it was. Oh, that's as old as Onion Lady was when she put out all the candles under her onion cake.

I don't know. So on Rotten Tomatoes, it had three proper reviews. Two of them were splats. One of them are fresh. I don't know what they call it. What does that mean? I think it means like there must be a threshold of, and they're like no good.

I guess it's less than half maybe. But the audience- Is a splat bad splat's bad splat is a rotten tomato yes i guess they've thrown it's like yeah she's oh like when i guess it's like you know throwing the wrong tomatoes yeah i guess so but the audience on the other side they have given it a 79 audience approval rating pretty good from quite a lot of reviews as well so i think it might be worth a look the person who favorably reviewed it was very kind to it uh one of the things they

liked about it was that there were distinct good goodies and baddies like they just were happy that there was no gray oh thank god they were wearing like you know uniforms or something. Yeah. I still, I think if you scratch the surface, these people who are in the buses are still good people. Yeah. We're not scratching any surface. They're just trying to earn their living. They're trying to make some money there. This is her review.

She said, nearly Swanson wrote, a funny, sometimes laugh out loud, warm-hearted comedy with vibrant characters, terrific plot, identifiable good and bad guys, and all the eccentricities that Brits hold dear. Yeah, it's like a nice review. I'm like, I don't know if you're selling it to me. Identifiable good and bad guys.

Is there geese? It's such a funny thing to put. I imagine there's geese. No, yes. All right, you bus couple, you better hit the frog in the toe. Oh. All right. All right, all right, all right. All right.

In it. Isn't it? All right. Well, that brings us to the end of the episode. Can you believe it? Please hang around for the post-credit scenes because Dane has talked some nonsense, which I'm sure I'll be putting back there. But a final score check on three points.

It's the house, which gives me a chance to tell people, if you're in Brisbane, I'm doing this live at the Brisbane Comedy Festival this Sunday night, May the 14th, at the Powerhouse. Please come along. Tickets available. In second place on five points is Dane Simpson. You got anything coming up, Dane? Probably.

Where can people find you? Your website? Yeah, go to my website. Go to danesimpson.com.au. Oh, I've got my show on Paramount+. If people wanted to check out Doodrooey Doosie. Is that worldwide on Paramount? I think it's on only Australia and New Zealand.

Apparently it's not in New Zealand, but I don't know. And you're not anti-VPNs, are you? No. No, check it out. Watch the show. It helps me. If you do watch it with a VPN, all I ask is that you just give it a five-star review, regardless of what you thought of it.

Yeah, I think that's fair. That's fair. But, I mean, it's a five-star show, no doubt about it. So that is what you'll think about it anyway. Be honest. Give it a five-star review. Yeah, exactly. Do the right thing.

And go on social media. Give everyone a like because I'm a big, firm believer in that. It's easy. Just tick it and then that's it. Get my stupid photos of me at the festival. What's your best one to follow you on? Instagram. Oh, Facebook.

Facebook's better. Yeah, great. I've got more people. And it's a dying art form, so please get on there and make it as popular as possible. But that means out in front, doubling the nearest competitor score on 10 points. It's Cass Page. Oh, my goodness. Double digits.

Double digits. That's a big win. Well played, Cass. You're on fire. You were picking them right. You's a big win. Well played, Cass. You're on fire. You were picking them right. You had Dane in the palm of your hand. Absolutely. To the end.

My flat, flat hands. I didn't think it was carrots. I think it was maybe four of the seven of Cass' answers you picked. Yeah. It was amazing. And, Cass, your podcast, is that still kicking the hard to be hot? Being hard is hard. Oh, no. Being hard is hard. Oh, no.

Being hard is hard. That's fantastic. That's making the end. Being hot is hard. Silly podcast about things we do to our bodies. It's not that serious. You have a second season? Yeah, a third.

Third season. Season three at the moment. We've just started releasing again. After our break, we got sick and then we took a holiday and then we got sick. That's with Nina Oyama and- Just with Zoe for this later season. So Zoe B and we will get a new guest in every week

to talk hot stuff. We had Jess on. That episode's just come out. Jess Perkins? Jess Perkins, yeah. Jess Perkins has been on the most recent episode talking about how she stays hot and how hard it is. And we've also got Shut Up a Second,

just a general comedy bantery one with Hayden. Which I've been on a bunch. Great fun. We've been on heaps and we'd love to have you back. I'd love to be back. Where do you find it? You find it at all potty pods. At all potty pod places.

Anywhere there's a pod that's being cast, you can catch it with your pod catcher. I think that is technically the term for a podcast listening app. Oh, nice. Pod catcher, yeah. Yeah. Really? Clunky.

Do you do live shows? No. But we have previously. We've definitely done live shows in the past we have nothing coming up at the moment melbourne fringe sign up yeah oh yeah great fun melbourne fridge cast has done a few of the live episodes of my pods always a fantastic guest that's very very fun that one of our episodes just came out didn't it that's right last week and dane was on the do go on quiz during the college festival that was amazing that was so much fun. I loved all of that. It was

so silly. It's not recorded though. No, but we're going to be doing a studio series here at Stupid Old. So if you're in the neighbourhood, I'll definitely be getting on to you. Anyway, we can talk about that off pod. Thanks so much for joining us.

Anything else you need to tell people before we go? Love each other. That's beautiful beautiful sentiment to leave on agree disagree sentiment sediment yes it's sediment yes well i'm glad we've settled on that uh thanks so much for joining us and cheers for tuning in to who knew it with matt stewart now that you know it i I've been Matt Stewart. Goodbye. Thanks so much for laughing. That's so much. I hadn't heard that before. That got me.

You know when a preschooler steals a crayon and you're like, naughty. Yep. This is this. This is your moment. This is my crayon. This is your naughty.

This is me calling you a preschooler and you accepting it. Yeah. Hasn't got a lot in common. I do still like to draw with crayons. I haven't got my pen license yet. Oh, no. And I've seen those drawings and that's a strong term. Yeah, yeah.

Finger painting is probably where I do my best with it. You're the only person in the world who can finger paint with a crayon. Yeah, yeah. You're relatively obscure. Are you going to edit out your obscure? Yes. Oh no. I need people to know. This is how

you trick them. Well, I do off cuts at the end, post credit scene. This might make it know. This is how you trick them. Well, I do off cuts at the end, post-credits scene. This might make it there. Oh, okay. If you make it into something funnier than this. Because people need to know that is like a thing that happens all the time. And what you've done is you've like, that's George Sounds Professional. They're like, oh, yeah. They're like, oh, what gets through is him being eloquent.

Oh, that's natural. Yeah. That's the cuff. That's pretty harmful, actually, because people are going to listen to this and think that this is a normal way for people to speak. Yeah. And then they're also going to buy tickets to your show expecting someone who can string together a sentence. Well, normally my shows are, you know, pretty well written and honed. You know, if I was riffing, that's when I get in trouble.

You reckon? Well, that's when i get in trouble you reckon well that's as good as i can get it anyway dame oh like here's the thing you're on youtube you've put you up there yeah um i haven't watched it i don't think anyone has but i i think i'm i'm pretty sure you've snippet that as well yeah that's gone that'll be at the back that's okay that'll be deep the back. Okay. That'll be deep into the podcast. As people are falling asleep in bed, this bit might be playing in their dreams.

You're putting a lot of pressure on yourself, putting together a pretty tight answer here now for the first question. I am. No pressure on you at all, but I hope there's no grammar errors. Oh, yeah. I can't spell. I'm going to read them as written. That's fantastic.

I'll edit out these bits, I swear to God, Dane. I hope you put them every single cut at the end. So right at the end it's like, okay, I'll stop. And just the Morse code of that is just mattstuart.com.au. And Krusty the Crayon. All right, this goes to the next one. There we go. That stays.

That doesn't go to the end. No, that's got end quality written all over it. Only the best bits at the end. People fast forward just to watch the trailers. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, this is it. Because the rugby's arms and the footy is legs. Yeah.

Right? Yeah. Yeah. Footy's kind of arms and legs. When you say footy. Soccer's legs. Rugby is like very. Very arm heavy.

Yeah, they're very hug ball. I'm assuming Aussie rules. Aussie rules. Yeah, Aussie rules is, oh, okay. So like soccer is legs, legs. Yeah. And rugby is arms, arms. And footy is like-

A bit of both. A bit of everything. Arms and legs. Yeah. Which is how my dancing's been described. All arms and legs. Yes. Which I think I took as a compliment.

Well, what else are you meant to move? Yeah. Your bum. Oh, no. My bum stays very steady. You've got a bum. That's a new growth of you. Trying to grow one.

You could put a camera on your bum while you're dancing and it'd act like a steadicam. Exactly. Move my keys, sorry, because I keep jangling. Oh, it's hard not to jangle the key. Yeah. If there's a key around. Alright. I'm going to trick any baby that's

listening. Baby, that's cat server. What the hell? So you're going gonna play a cat video near a cat and they start panicking who's in my house

the new helmet laws can I ask where did you think the legs were instead of arms instead of arms what I was thinking but then I also have had that picture of that sort of Leonardo DiCaprio style not dicaprio leonardo da vinci style you know that man with the multiple limbs yeah my picturing that only one dick ah what a shame but it's a big dog you're an artist you could have drawn anything you were trying to make the perfect mess. Give him more.

Get rid of his nipples. More penis. Small imagination on Leo, I'm afraid. I love the idea of dick nipples. Dick nipples. Oh, my God. Is there no one? All right.

Also, don't you think that, like, aesthetically, it would be a bit nice if the balls were underneath the belly button oh so a little yeah a little chest yeah adornment yeah oh like it's pretty far down it's not quite chest but okay yeah yeah underneath yes okay very good point yeah okay dicks for nipples i really don't want you to see me without my top one where's your my chest is uh your chest isn't meant to be down there yeah does that mean your belly button? My chest is... Your chest isn't meant to be down there? Yeah, does that mean your belly button's between your nipples or your nipples are either side of your belly button?

I've said too much already. I'm a never nude. Okay. Now, what have we done? Have we gone through any of this? Only one. I asked about the legs. Sorry, that was me.

I'm going out on a stretch here, but I watch the baby love boat by the way all babies just just toddlers just hook it up you know like they go and then it's like preschool and they're just like i'm with this one now it's like baby like when kids have like little relationships yeah you speak to like a four year old like how was school they're like i have three boy I'm with this one now. It's like baby. Oh, like when kids have like. When kids have little relationships. Yeah, you speak to like a four-year-old. Like, how was school? They're like, I have three boyfriends. You're like, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that. And the baby love boat is taking another round.

When I was young, not quite that young, but I got a handmade card from one of my friends in primary school that said, dear Cass, you are my third best friend. And I remember getting at the time and being like oh man thank you I remember being like wow I'm higher up than I thought it was like really touching and like the intent was there to give me a nice card and the intent was received I got a nice card I remember just being like thank you but it's crazy to the but it got I think it's worse as you get younger you're're like, okay, well, I love this person, so they're my boyfriend and this person is my wife.

And this person's my girlfriend, but she's not allowed to touch my bear because it's my bear. Oh, brilliant. Yeah, see, this show. Yeah, it's writing itself. I would watch it. It can play before the baby news. Episode one is fantastic.

Oh, you got that song I don't even think it's got lyrics I think it's just his voice so that's Doobie Brothers is it? yeah I wish I was more competitive.

No, this show is... Some stakes in there. It's very rare. I mean, it's weird when people get too competitive, I think. I need to win. Occasionally it happens. You don't want to put yourself in a position to get your feelings involved. Yeah.

This is an emotionless room. Exactly. And you don't want to fuck up something that's already bad. That's right. It can't handle it. That's right. It'll be the straw that breaks the podcast back.