Who Knew It with Matt Stewart - 38 - Jess Perkins, Andy Matthews and Alasdair Tremblay-Birchall

Episode Date: May 29, 2023

Who Knew It with Matt Stewart is a comedy game show podcast hosted by Australian comedian Matt Stewart. This episode was features comedians Jess Perkins, Andy Matthews and Alasdair Tremblay-Birchall!Watch Matt's stand up special FREE on YouTube: https://youtu.be/cWStRpI-BhESupport the show via http://patreon.com/dogoonpod and you can submit questions for the show!Get tickets to see the podcast/Matt live: https://www.mattstewartcomedy.com/Check out Matt and Jess' podcast network: https://dogoonpod.com/Theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and Logo by @muzdoodles! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Oh my God, can you believe it? It's the year 2024. It's Melbourne Comedy Festival and we've just moved venues. We're at the Grace Darling now. We had a great run at the Chinese Museum, selling out shows by the end, but now we need you to come over to the Grace Darling and shows are at 7.15. It's going to be so much fun. Love to see you there. Let's have a beer. Use discount code do go on the show's called dry dry at the melbourne international comedy festival then we're going to sydney and brisbane tickets to all that stuff's on sale now and you can find those tickets and details at mattstuartcomedy.com welcome to who knew with matt stewart the show where the guests write the wrong answers i'm Welcome to Who Knew It with Matt Stewart, the show where the guests write the wrong answers. I'm the titular Matt Stewart, and our first guests this week are from the Two and the Think Tank podcast and have multiple new comedy specials available online.

It's Alistair Tremblay-Birchall and Andy Matthews. Hello. Shared introduction. Yeah, I love that. I initially was writing them separately, but they were the same. They were the same. So I thought... It would have been funny to repeat it. They were the same. So I thought.

It would have been funny to repeat it. I love the efficiency. Thank you. It was a very titular review. I appreciate that. Our third guest this week is the little skipper herself, host of the Do Go On and Simply the Jess podcast. It's Jess Perkins.

Leading her own applause there. I always do. I always do. Get it started. I set the tone I always do. Get it started. I set the tone. Don't you start my applause. I will start it and then you match my level of applause. Follow my lead.

Who started your applause there, Andy? That was me. Was that also Jess? I think that's okay. As long as she's doing it for others. Yeah. I think really it's probably a bit off that you didn't start hers. I'm very giving with applause. I mean, I was pretty quick off the mark,

but you've got to get up very early in the morning to get one up on Jessica. So the way the show works is I ask a relatively obscure trivia question and our contestants have to write a convincing fake answer. I then read their answers as well as the real one and they have to guess which one is correct. Are we ready to play? We're ready. So the first question comes from listener Joff from cola joff from lol radio have you ever been

on lol radio with joff i think that many many years ago i may have um but i think i might have got a call during comedy festival and it was late and i think lawrence mooney was on the call already and there was already a conversation kind of happening and then i couldn't hear very well and then i would say things occasionally and it seemed like people were listening to me but i wasn't 100 sure this sounds like the experience of being a ghost or being dead and in the room and you can't tell was the sort of were you did you discover you were dead at the end of the phone call? It went smoothly enough that I could have been dead. It's like the only explanation. Yeah, wow.

The only, well, there you go. You're probably dead then. Anyway, Joff asked this question. What does omphaloskepsis mean? What does omphaloskepsis mean? What does omphaloskepsis mean? Andy probably knows the fucking Latin and he's going to decipher it. Here he goes. While they're writing their answer, I'll explain how the scoring works.

So you get one point if your fake answer is guessed by the other contestant and another point if you correctly guessed the answer. And by the way'm also playing as the house i've put into my own fake answers for each question and i get a point for each one of those that our guests choose often my fake answers have been written with the help of the question writers as well so each of us can scrub to three points per round which seems fair but the probability actually favors me the house and the house always wins though if you've been listening to recent episodes you'll know that is not nearly ever the case anyway our questions come from our great patreon supporters if you want to submit a question sign up on any level via patreon.com slash dugong pod which is linked in the show notes hey i i mentioned that you've got multiple shows online now. You've got three, right? Yeah.

There's one called Teleport. If you just, oh, Teleport and Magma are both on Stupid Old Channel. So if you go on the YouTube Stupid Old Channel and type in Teleport or Magma, you'll find those. And then if you want to find another one called My Client is Innocent and then type the word like Andy or Alistair next to it, then that will come up there. And that's another special.

We don't give out links per se, but a series of cryptic keywords that you can use to solve the puzzle for yourself. If you're worthy. All right, the answers are in. So here's question number one. What does omphaloskepsis mean? The recurrent urge to secretly give gifts,

also known as reverse kleptomania. An inflammatory... That's not right. What is that word? Inflammatory. An inflammatory disease which causes swelling in the esophagus. It does sound possible. It does sound very

omphaloskeptic. I keep forgetting the word too so thank you for saying it again. I think it's omphaloskeptic. Yeah. Oh. I keep forgetting the word too, so thank you for saying it again. I think it's omphaloskepsis. Okay. Yeah, come on. I turned it into an adjective. Oh, Andy's able to conjugate it.

That's how well he remembers it. Oh, that is good. He can manipulate it like clay. Option three, contemplation of your belly button as an aid to meditation. Weeping necrosis of human skin folds. Oh, yuck. Oh, that's horrible. Yeah, don't like that.

When your brain misinterprets visual information, so you see penises in inanimate objects, artworks or nature. In inanimate objects. Sometimes penises are in inanimate objects. And nature. That's something that I'm aware of. I Sometimes penises are inanimate objects. And nature. That's something that I'm aware of. I mean, humans are part of nature. And when you go for a walk in the forest, or indeed a wank in the forest.

Your penis is in it. It's in nature. I mean, I guess if Avatar taught me anything, it's that our penises are interconnected in a big part of a much larger ecosystem. I can't stop speaking in that accent. I love it. What is that accent? It's Australian.

It comes from Australia, originates. I love it when it goes Australian. When your penises are interconnected, is that like in a sort of a rat king type situation? Yes. It's called rat. A frat king. It's a dock king.at king a dock king oh those are both very good yeah i include mine in both dock and king i was talking about my one frat king oh frats when all the boys in a frat are doing a circle jerk and it becomes so frenetic that the penises become entangled.

It's just there's only one node per penis, though. That makes it quite difficult to… Hey, Matt, can we have the answers again, please? I haven't even got through them. The final option was a mental condition in which a person becomes convinced that they are part of the Winnie the Pooh extended universe. Wow. Okay.

So you got the reverse kleptomania, the inflammatory disease causing swelling in the esophagus, contemplating the belly button, hating meditation, weeping necrosis of human skin folds, misinterpreting information as penises, or believing you're in the Winnie the Pooh extended universe. I am drawn to the weeping necrosis.

Yeah. Drawn to it. Yes. I don't like that I'm drawn to it, but I also am. I hate it, and I hope it's wrong. I hate to see necrosis weep. I hate it. You going to lock that in? I hate to see necrosis weep. I hate it. You going to lock that in?

I think so, yeah. All right. And what about you, Al? I'm drawn to the penis, but I feel like I wonder whether or not you would allow a penis thing to come into your normal answers. Because he's a prude. You should have listened to the Brisbane episode. Yeah. I apologize. I'm one episode behind. You're a bit behind. Yeah. There's a lot of penis You should have listened to the Brisbane episode. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I apologize.

I'm one episode behind. You're a bit behind. Yeah. There's a lot of penis in that one. All right. Well, Matthew, the salesman, has just sold me on the penis one. But is that what I want you to do? Oh, very good.

Maybe there was no penis in Brisbane. Oh, but you sold me off of it. I'm going to go the penis one. All right. Locking that in for Al. Here is who wrote the answers. Are the recurrent urge to secretly give gifts, also known as reverse kleptomania.

That was the house. That's a good one. An inflammatory disease which causes swelling in the esophagus. That was Jess Perkins. I'm so sorry. It was very good, Jess. You did really well. I'm sorry.

No. I saw you start the word and I was like, oh, no. What have I done? Ones that have, yeah, where there's multiple places that the emphasis can be on, they can really trip me up. My hesitation there was that the suffix-itis is more commonly associated with inflammation. Wow.

You're a nerd. Yeah. Like tonsillitis. Yeah.itis yeah indeed conjunctivitis it's an inflammation of the conjunctiva okay okay matt don't don't write that in any of your answers because matt's not gonna be able to say conjunctiva almost conjunctiva sub subjective itis that's uh of course an inflammation that is in the eye of the beholder. A mental condition which means you think you're in the Winnie the Pooh extended universe. That was Andy Matthews.

That's a good one. When your brain misinterprets visual information so you see penises. That was Joff, okay, the house. Joff. Good one. I should have picked it. I should have picked it. That was a Joff, okay, the house. Joff. I should have picked it. I should have picked it. That was a Joff.

And there's a busy phone call with Lawrence Mooney all over it. Weeping necrosis of human skin folds. That was Alistair Trumbly-Burchill. Oh, lordy. Meaning the correct answer is contemplation of your belly button as an aid to meditation. I hate that. Navel gazing.

Navel gazing, that's what it is. Quite literally. Yeah. Didn't cross my mind for a second hate that. Navel gazing. Navel gazing. That's what it is. Quite literally. Yeah. Didn't cross my mind for a second that that could be the correct answer. Yeah, it sounded ridiculous. Feels like it would be so bad for your neck. Looking like that the whole time. I don't like that.

No, I don't like it at all. I don't like that at all. I prefer the weeping of the skin folds. Me too. Where had you access that one? Me? Yeah. I've,

I use the same starting point as our friend here, Jess Perkins. And, you know, I, I thought itis. And then I went, but I was like,

oh, but it's icus. So I was like, I won't, I won't say inflammation. Right. And that's, that's the next step I went.

Yeah. Wow. I didn't know that. I thought the word necrosis seemed like a word that i wouldn't know yeah so then i put it in there that way to misdirect people from it because we would think there's no way al would know big dumb shit like that and so now we're seeing the true hierarchy of dumb shits and i'm i guess top of the dumb shits or bottom depending well i I'm still here, Jess.

That's the new. I couldn't pronounce a word you wrote. Three dumb shits. Would you call that a trip shit? I would. No, well, you'd pronounce it wrong. You'd probably call it a trip shit. Trip shit, yeah.

All right, we're up to question number two. Do you want to score check? Al's on two points. Hal's on one point. Jess and Andy, not so smart now on zero points. I'm playing golf rules, though, so. Oh, hello. You haven't even had a hit yet.

That's why you're swinging that stick around so much. Here's question number two. This comes from Zoe DL from Epping, New South Wales. Zoe's question is, and this one I'm really nervous that Andy might know, what song by Gid Tanner and his skillet lickers made the top ten on the US hillbilly charts in 1926? You familiar with Gid Tanner and his skillet lickers, Andy? Yeah.

Their early work. Yeah, sure. I love work, yeah, sure. I love that he was at bed. Yeah, that really, I mean, that's what got me in. Yeah. Wow. So you've got to write a song that might have been in the top ten on the hillbilly charts in the United States in 1926.

I'm pretty sure that was probably the only hillbilly charts back then. Yeah, that's always a good song for me when jess is having a great time writing her answer yeah it happens every time you have a good hit right with yourself yeah you have to be i have to start my own applause yeah my own laughter gotta be your own biggest fan that's the lesson that's why you've not had to do stand up as regularly because now you're like as look as long as long as i say it yeah and then i'll laugh and i'll give myself a little round every single day in my house i am crushing now do you stand to perform to yourself sometimes yeah but uh usually in front of the mirror so it feels like an audience oh yeah but

also sometimes you can just be sitting alone on a couch oh also you do like standing room audience because that's the problem with the mirror is that you got to look at another standing person yeah yeah do you ever sit down so that your audience is sitting down oh yeah you know do it on a stool yeah you know mark maron style but i i angle the mirror sort of below me so i'm still looking down at my audience that's nice because that's important and then you can you'll be looking up and your audience will have like a, you know, like the worst angle for your audience. Exactly. Yeah, yeah.

But that's your audience will be looking up at you that way. Yeah, it's the worst angle for me. Yeah. But I still get the power of being above them. That's great. Do you ever spit on your audience? Of course. Why be above people if you don't spit?

You don't take advantage of gravity. Do you want to hear a bit about amphiloskepsis? Oh, yes. I think I'm saying that right as well, which is funny that I couldn't say inflammatory. Yeah. Funny, isn't it? Yeah.

Geoff wrote, The word derives from the ancient Greek word omphalos, meaning navel, and skepsis, meaning viewing, examination, or speculation. Of course. Yes. We should have gone back to the Greek roots.

We needed to split the word in half to release its power, like a kind of. Of course, when I think of Greek roots, I think of those. Yes, yes. Olive bushes? No. Philosophers putting their penises between people's legs. Oh, yeah, that way.

That kind of. Having sex with people's legs. Philosophers did that. I'm not sure if it was just the philosophers. I'm feeling very philosophical, honey. Close your legs. Like that. Yeah, so closing your legs.

Because now they'll say like leg openers as like a euphemism for something that makes people horny. You need that first. You need that to start with. You need the legs to open so that they can close around. That's true. You can't open a leg without closing a leg.

God never opens his legs without closing a window. Yeah. I think the end section of the show is going to be as long as the show. Yeah. I chop out all the best bits and put them at the end. Oh, do you?

Yeah, yeah. Oh, that's fun. So it's mainly quiz. Yeah. And then all the bullshit at the end. Well, not all of it. A bunch of bullshit. A bunch of the bullshit. The best bullshit. Do you find the audience responds better that way? They've been loving

it. Yeah, great. Been loving it. A few people saying it's the best bit of the show. Yeah, right. Maybe you should keep it in the show. Well, I don't know if it's that good. I think they like that it's at the end. It's the best bit, but it's still not that good. You've got to suffer through the quiz in order to get to it. So, Joff continues,

actual use of the practice as an aid to contemplation of basic principles of the cosmos and human nature is found in the practice of yoga and Hinduism. In yoga, the navel is the site of the Manapura chakra, which yogis consider a powerful chakra of the body. Hmm. Right. There you go.

Hmm. All right, the answers are in for question number two. Oh, my God. Okay, yep. What song- What is this question, too? I forgot, yeah. Oh, Christ.

What song by Gid Tanner and his skillet lickers made the top ten on the hillbilly charts in 1926? You gotta quit kicking my dog around. That's good. I get giddy when the train comes to town, toot toot. I love that toot toot. Me too. I love it out of a toot toot.

Ain't nobody gonna say no words to my mama. I like that too. Double negative. Gonna fiddle in your yard till you love me. I like that too. Double negative. Gonna fiddle in your yard till you love me. Wait. I like that. Oh, yeah. That sounds like there's some self-love happening there, right?

It's probably playing. It's a double on. Oh, that's right. They love that. They love that in Hillbilly. The grease got me hollering. Oh. Or there's a ferret in my trousers and I'm starting to think he's having even less fun than I am.

I wonder what that could mean. Yeah. It means one of these was a big hit. Yeah, okay. Only one. That's a surprise. Yeah. Can we have them again?

Yes. I wish there was an all of the above option. Yeah. This is a full album listing. This we have them again? Yes. I wish there was an all of the above option. Yeah. This is a full album listing. This could be a best of album. I think I'm going to collect my favourite country fake names I've made and try and put together a real album at some point. I would love that.

I would really love that. I'd pay up to $3 for that. Fantastic. Oh, on Bandcamp? Yeah. Where else is it going to be available for? SoundCloud? On all your streamers. Oh, wow. Fantastic. Oh, on Bandcamp? Yeah. Where else is it going to be available for? Soundcloud? On all your streamers. Oh, wow. And on

vinyl. Oh, vinyl. Holy shit. Three bucks for vinyl. That's not bad. It's a very good deal. Yeah, I'm losing a lot of money. So you've got to quit kicking my dog around. I get giddy when the train comes to town. Ain't nobody going to say no words to my mama. Yeah, I get thatdy when the train comes to town. Toot toot. Ain't nobody going to say no words to my mama.

Yeah, I get that. Double negative means they're saying, please talk to my mum. Yeah. Gonna fiddle in your yard till you love me. The grease got me hollering. Or there's a ferret in my trousers. And I'm starting to think he's having even less fun than I am. These all sound fucking crazy.

I've forgotten them all again. Yeah, me too. No, the fiddling one. Dog fiddling. The fiddling one's too, that's too explicit for 1929. I think my answer is one of the first two, but I can't remember which they were again. You've got to quit kicking my dog around or I get Giddy when the train.

That's one. The dog one. Got to quit kicking my dog around. All right, locking that in for Andy. The sort of thing that you could only put in song. Or a jerky boy's one. The dog one. Got to quit kicking my dog around. All right, locking that in for Andy. The sort of thing that you could only put in song. Or a Jerky Boys sketch. I don't know about the Jerky Boys. They were like, they did prank calls back in the day.

They called up saying, you kicked my dog. Really? Would you say that prank phone calls were the bluegrass songs of the 90s? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, good. Our Gid Tanner was Matt Tilley. Only here they were called Matt Tilley and his fry pan liquors. Is the skillet liquor a tongue?

Yeah. Yeah, I guess the skillet liquor or the person attached to the tongue. Or it could be a dog. Yeah, that's true. It could be a dog. And Don't Kick My Dog. Yeah. Whatever.

That was all coming together. Then there's Toot Toot. Mm-hmm. And then- Ain't nobody gonna say no wordsot toot. Mm-hmm. And then. Ain't nobody going to say no words to my mother. Going to fiddle in your yard. The grease got me hollering. Or there's a ferret in my trousers.

I want to say toot toot just because I love toot toot. Say toot toot. Toot toot. Follow your heart. But I think it could be fiddle in my yard. Yeah, I'm going to go with fiddle in my yard. All right, I'll go toot toot. Just because it's too, too you know it is the obvious

one and i feel like sometimes not everything is like a is a misdirect yeah all right let's go through who wrote the answers uh the grease got me hollering that was alistair trombone that's a really good name great thanks everybody i appreciate it so good that everybody you were thanking everybody before i'd even said it was good Yeah thanks Everybody Thank you Matt I also thought it was good There's a ferret in my trousers

I'm starting to think he's having even less fun than me That was Andy Matthews Thanks very much guys Not believable but it was really good And that's sort of the point of the game I came here wanting to have fun today Totally and you're doing great already Definitely not here the game. I came here wanting to have fun today. Totally. And you're doing great already. Definitely not here to make friends, but I am here to have fun.

Ain't nobody going to say no words to my mama. That was just Perkins. Oh, that was good too. That was pretty funny. Gonna fiddle in your yard till you love me. That was the house. That's good. Got played by the house.

It's very much like sort of an early version of that scene from Say Anything, isn't it? Where he goes into the yard with the with the boombox yeah exactly yes until yeah i'm gonna play with my boombox yeah exactly in your yard you could call your balls a boombox yeah or your butt i'm just gonna bloody play with my boombox i'm gonna stand in your yard and play with my butthole until you love me. Yes, I love a bit of innuendo. I get giddy when the train comes to town, too, too. That was Zoe, a.k.a. The House. Oh, you've got to play like the bongos, Jess.

Meaning, you've got to quit kicking my dog around is correct. I think I actually did know that one, Matt. Amazing. I feel like I've heard of that song. Wow. That's so good. Well, it was a 1926 hillbilly hit, so it makes sense that you would know it. You've got to stop kicking my dog around.

You've got to. All right, we're up to question number three. In my head, the fiddle thing, I'm like, I thought it was funny only in hindsight. Like, at the time, they wouldn't have meant it as an innuendo. They knew it. They knew. Oh, they knew it. They knew. You reckon they knew? People were fucking back then, Matt.

But I don't know if fiddle was necessarily a... Could have been. Oh, mate, it was extra. Oh, yeah? Yeah. Yeah. That was pretty full on back then. Yeah.

Whoa. Now it's sort of, you know, a bit playful or whatever. Back then, explicit. To fiddle? Are you kidding me? Yeah. That's Explicit. To fiddle? Are you kidding me? Yeah. That's like full sex. They're rolling in their graves just to hear it,

just because we're saying it now. Rolling in a horny way. Oh, big time. Yeah, yeah. All right, here's question number three. This comes from Clara from London, and the question is, under what name were Q-tips, okay, what we call cotton buds or cotton swabs, originally marketed as? Under what name were Q-tips, aka what we call cotton buds or cotton swabs, originally marketed as.

Under what name were Q-tips originally marketed as? We just call them cotton buds, don't we? Yeah. While you're writing your answers, I'll let the audience know a little bit more about the Skillet Lickers. According to Zoe, Gid Tanner was an American fiddler, which is, you know, he also played the fiddle, and his band, the Skillet Lickers, one of the most influential was also played the fiddle and his band the skillet lickers

one of the most influential string bands of the 20s and 30s by string band it seems to mean band with three fiddles a banjo and sometimes a guitar some other popular performance include bile them cabbage down a corn liquor still in georgia and hand me down my walking cane. Corn liquor. Yeah. You familiar with those, Andy? Yeah, that's right. Yeah, yeah. Do you have them on record or anything?

No, I don't know where I heard the name, but I think it might even be one of those names that is like thrown around like as an iconic kind of, you know, almost an ideal vision of a you know, almost an ur or an ideal vision of a hillbilly song name. Right. All right, the heads are in for question number three. Under what name were Q-tips originally marketed as?

Ear Waxinators. Oh, yeah. Max's Wax Attacker. Get our gear in your ear. No. It comes with a tagline? Was that part of the name? Part of the name, yeah. Lil our gear in your ear. No. It comes with a tagline? Was that part of the name? Part of the name, yeah.

Lil dabbers. Baby gays. Little skinny boys. Or bush honkers. There's some great ones in there. Can we have them again? Ear waxinators. Max's wax attacker. Get our gear in your ear,

Lil Dabbers, Baby Gaze, Lil Skinny Boys, or Bush Honkers. Baby Gaze feels like it wouldn't be in there. I don't get it. Yeah. But, you know, you've got to remember back in those days. You would have used them, presumably you would have used them for your baby. Right? You know, like I think you might be cleaning out the ears of your baby.

Making them happy. Making them happy. Baby gays. Baby gays. Oh, gosh. But wouldn't you call them baby engay-anators? Yeah, I would. That seems baby gays. But it's like calling cotton buds now baby happy. Yeah, I would. That seems baby gays. But it's like calling cotton buds now baby happy.

Yeah, baby. It doesn't make sense. I think if you bought it. Or baby joy. Baby joy. That sounds like it could be a thing. Yeah, or if you bought it on AliExpress, I think baby happy would make sense.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's true. That's true. I think I want to go for little dabbers. Little dabbers. I wonder if little dabber, I mean, that sounds like, have you ever heard of Little Abner? I don't know what Little Abner is but it's like part of American culture. It might have been a cartoon

character or something and maybe there was like some it was almost a pun. It's a book by Al Capp. There you go. A satirical American comic strip that appeared across multiple newspapers in the US, Canada and Europe.

Did he make it down to Oceania? No. American comic strip that appeared across multiple newspapers in the US, Canada and Europe. It was a musical and a film. Did he make it down to Oceania? No. He. There were multiple films made about it. Oh, Al Cap. You're an Oceania man. I'm an Australasia man.

Really? Myself. If I were to, if I were forced to name the content. Yeah, I'd say Australasia, I think. That's, yeah, that's interesting. I'm going to go with Little Dabba. You're going Little Dabba as well? Two for Little Dabba's.

I'm going to go Baby Gay. Baby Dabba. I think that was a little skimpy boy. But I'm not here to win. What's that? I'm not here to win. What's that? I'm not here to win.

And what was the thing before that? I'm not here to win. I've said it so many times that by definition it was the thing before itself now. What's your strategy here if you're going for the one you don't think is right? Yeah, what's your strategy, fuckhead? What are you fucking planning, eh?

I don't know. You hate to have fun. Oh, yeah, and I'm having more fun with that one. If you pick your own, do you get a point? Yeah, I've been thinking about this. Every time I listen to the podcast, I actually had a secret plan to come on, pick my note, in the third round, get those triple points.

No, I would probably go with Josh Earle from Don't Know Who I Am, Strategy of Sand. That's your own one, dipshit. He always said call them dipshits. Yeah, but do you get the points, though? And then I'll give you a point. Oh, okay. Double points.

But you have to live knowing that Matt thinks you're a dipshit. Yeah, triple points. Yeah, that's okay. No, you will get no points. Okay. I'll just look uncomfortable and I'll say, I don't know if you can pick that one, can you? All right, so you're all locked in? Yes.

I'm sure everybody wants to pick those ones? Here's who wrote the answers Someone who picked mine Ear Waxinators was Clara Okay, the house That's fun Max's Wax Attacker That was Andy Matthews

Woohoo And the tagline with it as well That's good stuff Why not? Yeah, why not? Bush Honkers That was Alistair That was really good, Al

Little Skinny Boys That was Jess Perkins That was good Lil Dabbers That was the houseair. That was a really good Al. Little Skinny Boys. That was Jess Perkins. That was good. It was good. Lil Dabbers. That was the house. Yeah, I knew it. Really, I had you in mind when I wrote it, to be honest, Jess.

Lil Dabbers. And it's so funny that you picked it. And that means Baby Gaze is correct. Holy shoot. Love that. So that is one point to Al, two points to the house. Why did you have me in mind for Lil Dabbers? I don't know. It just seems, I think because your nickname is Little Skipper.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And I think I accidentally just plagiarised your nickname. Anything little, little is me. Yeah. That's nice. Yeah, I don't know. That's cute.

I'm okay with that. I guess I'd just written in the intro Little Skipper. Yeah. So, it was just ringing through my mind. Little Dabber. Jeez. Rattling around in that big head of yours. That means the scores are now

on zero points Jess Perkins, on one point Andy Matthews, on three points Alistair Tremblay-Bertial, but out in front on five points is the house. What? A rare lead for the house. I'm usually doing better by now. I think it's because I haven't cheated this time.

That could be it. I've usually fallen apart by this. I think it's because I haven't cheated this time. That could be it. I've usually fallen apart by this point. Usually I get an early lead and then I completely demolish it. Well, that normally happens from now and I don't see that changing. Okay, great. I think Jess flies home from here. That's my guess. That's how it would normally go.

Yeah, I'll start cheating and then I'll get really good. Do you have a policy for what happens if people use chat GPT to generate their answers? You've got to get out ahead of these things. Technology is changing, people's expectations. I find that using chat GPT allows me to be much more efficient with coming up with answers to bullshit questions. Are you saying you're using chat GPT?

Yeah, I assume we all are. I mean, I'm here, you know, I'm a busy man. I've got a lot of things on my plate. Andy loses his one point. No. But that sigh there made me feel sorry for him. I'm going to give him one pity point. Oh, pity point.

Oh, but now I'm coming last. Okay, pity point for Bob. Oh, I lost a lot of my lead. Actually, your lead is exactly the same. Your lead is exactly the same. One pity point for... Well, not in front of Jess. No, it's true.

I misunderstood what Al was saying. All right. So you've each got a pity point there. The scores are now Andy and Jess on one point. Alistair on four points. They're out in front still on five points. It's the house. Wait, did the house get a point?

No, no. House remains on five. House gets no pity. I feel no pity. I thought it was on four before. Anyway. No, you're on three. Okay.

Go to the tape. And Alistair on three. There we go. Oh, you're on three. Okay. Go to the tape. And Alistair on three. There we go. Oh, that is good. All right. Here's question number four. This one comes from Adam Trapchinsky from Cary, Illinois. And Adam wrote in brackets after his name, you're on your own,

because his name is, I'm guessing, not pronounced like that. Or it's pronounced you're on your own. Oh, my God. It's pronounced inflammatory. Adam's question is, what is Chicago White Sox legend Frank Thomas' nickname? What is Chicago White Sox legend Frank Thomas' nickname? And that is baseball.

Baseball, that's right. Frank. Thomas. Thomas. I couldn't forget. I mean, if everybody sends this one in, just let me know and I'll write something else. Okay.

Andy, now that you've got yours in, you can listen to me tell you about baby gays. This is according to Mental Floss. After seeing his wife create a makeshift cotton swab by wrapping cotton balls around toothpicks to use on their baby, Leo Gerstenzang decided to mass produce sterilized swabs. He formed the Leo Gerstenzang Infant Novelty Company in 1923. I mean, he's got away with efficient titles. I'm amazed.

I'm amazed. Yeah, he named his leading product Baby Gaze, presumably for the joy they would bring to children who weren't being treated like pin cushions by toothpick-wielding mothers. Amazing before that. They just used new toothpicks. But he considered it to be an infant novelty. Yeah. This will be a bit of fun.

In 1926, Gersten Zhang altered the name to Q-Tip Baby Gaze and eventually just Q-Tips. The Q stands for quality. Right. Quality tips. I suppose at that time, not inflicting pain on children was considered a novelty. Yes.

At least this exciting new idea I've heard of. Fuck. It's funny that, like, a lot of, like, the history of parenting is like a history of like, be as mean as you can to your kids in order to bring them up right. Right. You know, to set them on the right path. And then slowly but surely realizing that none of the being mean bit actually helps in any regard. Bully your kids.

So that they're strong. helps in any regard. Bully your kids so that they're strong. And then, yeah, just support them and allow them to emotionally regulate and do that through, you know, modelling that and things like that. And then you go, oh, that's not at all what my instincts tell me. Well, and also there are still some people who are saying, no, well, let's hold on to the cruelty idea for a little bit longer. I feel like it's still got some juice in it, you know.

The results are not yet in. Can you not think of any times where people being cruel to you didn't help? Can I not think of any times where people just had this one? That was the name of a little hillbilly song we used to work on. I remember times where people were, like, pretty brutal to me, and I'm like, well, I've learned a lesson there. Yeah, but that's probably, I mean, consequences in some way. I got hit as a child and I turned out all right.

I know. I wonder though with the cruelty thing, whether or not there could be that experience could have happened again without the cruelty. Yeah, probably could have. That lesson would have still. Yeah, I probably could have. That lesson would have still. Yeah, I probably would have learnt it and I wouldn't even have the scar that I remember.

You know, that's part of it is like I remember it really well because I felt awful for a while after. And still now. Yeah, yeah. And, you know, other lessons just get gently taught to you. Yeah, maybe. But I think there's also an urge to make the suffering that we endured meaningful by defending it as a practice.

Right. You know, otherwise what was it all for? And, you know, I'm saying you're perpetuating that onto the next generation. Maybe it's so we could learn that it wasn't the right way to go. Yes, but if only there was a way to teach you that lesson so you'd fucking remember. You come over here, Matt Stewart.

Silence doesn't solve anything. Has parenting gotten softer generation on generation forever or has it gone up and down? I mean, if you follow that trend line back a couple of hundred years, it'd be getting pretty fucking brutal, I think. I don't know. It's certainly not a linear relationship. But we must be getting towards

the softest treatment of children ever. And I won't stand for it. Someone's got to be hit. He walks around supermarkets yelling at little kids. Somebody has to. Somebody has to. The parents certainly won't. Yeah, I mean, the child wasn't doing anything. I think it was quietly following its mother, but I said I won't have it.

Fortunately, now we don't hurt our children physically. We just rely on emotional blackmail by saying things like, well, if you don't do it, it'll make Dad sad. That allows them to grow up healthy and well-adjusted. While you're still writing your answers, let's go for a quick break. All right, your answers are in. So here's question number four. What is Chicago White Sox legend Frank Thomas' nickname?

The Big Hurt. The Septic Tank. The Big Blammer from Alabama. Thomas the Frank Engine. The Crypt Keeper or Sex Mouth I mean The Big Blammer from Alabama is one of the most enjoyable collection of syllables

I've ever experienced That's a lot of fun The Big Hurt, The Septic Tank The Big Blammer from Alabama of syllables I've ever experienced. Yes, agreed. That's a lot of fun. The Big Hurt, The Septic Tank, The Big Blammer from Alabama, Thomas the Frank Engine, The Crypt Keeper or Sex Mouth? Sex Mouth. What is Frank Thomas' nickname? Frank Thomas, Sex Mouth. Just trying to roll that around.

Thomas the Frank Engine is very clever then, actually. What year was this from? I haven't said. I don't know if I should. It might be unfair to say it now after. Are you all okay with me saying the year? Sure, sure. I'll be honest.

He played mainly in the 90s. Sure. Played for about 15 years, into the 2000s. All right. Okay. So all those nicknames that were references to the movie Avatar, The Way of the Water are probably out. Coincidences.

I want to say Thomas the Frank Engine. Thomas the Frank Engine from Bob. That's fun. That's fun. That's fun. Oh, well, if we're going fun, I'm going the big blammer from Alabama. That's right, because you came here to have fun, not to make friends. That's right.

I'll go the septic tank or whatever it is. It is that. Although I don't. The Australian rhyming slang for an American. Yeah. And that's sort of where Yanks came from as well. Yeah. But I heard somebody, I was in Queensland.

Oh, hang on. Septic tank came from Yank. So Yanks from Yankee Doodle dandy or whatever, yankees. And then septic tank's like rhyming saying for yank. And then sepo came from septic tank. I heard people saying sepo and I don't think I'd heard that. Yeah. I hadn't heard sepo.

I never understood that. Sepo really does sound like a slur. We've really worked on that one until it actually sounds much more unpleasant than calling somebody a septic. Yeah. A sepo, really, it sounds, you know, it sounds hateful. Yeah, it does. Yeah.

But it's meant lovingly. But it's Aussie larrikinism. Hey, just a couple of, we're just mates. Yes. It's what we do, unless you do it to us. No, we don't like that. Then we'll have the big hurt, the feelings. It's amazing how that, just being on like TikTok for a little bit,

seeing how thin skin we are and how much we go on about being not thin skin. Like an American will say, make a joke about Australians and they'll be like, at least we don't have guns out of control. Like it'll come out of nowhere. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Can I change mine to the big hurt? Sure can. Yeah, great.

Coward. Yeah, I agree. Tell me one time when you've been brave. Tell me one time when you've been brave. We're all cowards, okay? Some of us are brave enough to admit it. Tell me one time you've been brave. That's a great first date question for everybody listening.

Andy, were you agreeing with Jess saying he's a coward or were you agreeing with Al that you want to change to the big head? No, I'm agreeing with Jess that he's a coward. With Al that Jess is probably also a coward. Yeah. And with me that some of us coward. With Al, that Jess is probably also a coward. Yeah. And with me, that some of us are brave enough to admit it. Okay. Well, here's who wrote the answers.

Sex Mouth. That was Alistair. That's really good. There's a place in England called Sex Mouth, I'm pretty sure. Wow. That doesn't surprise me. Okay. They pronounce it Sex Mouth, probably.

I'm booking my tickets. I'm moving, boys. Well, yeah. Sex Mouth. Like we're going to take bloody pronunciation lessons from fucking Massachusetts. The Crypt Keeper, that was Jess Perkins. That was fantastic.

It wasn't. Then we had the septic tank. That was Adam, aka The House. Adam just wrote the tank and I added septic when Andy wrote Thomas the Frank Engine. I thought we needed a bit of separation there. It's so good. Thank you very much.

I couldn't believe that was all the pieces were there. I just had to rearrange them. Thomas the Frank Engine. That's great. So one point for Andy there. Then we had the big blammer from Alabama. That was the house, I'm afraid. You lured me in with your beautiful syllables.

Beautiful rounded syllables. All your Bs. I googled American place names and then I had a list of them With your beautiful syllables. Beautiful rounded syllables. All your B's. Blah. I googled American place names and then I had a list of them and then I started speaking gibberish. Working my way through. Blammer though. Blammer is so good.

It does sound like swinging a bat. Yeah. What a blammer. That means the Big Hurt was correct. Alice. So one point for Alice. George William Trebombele. Did you cheat?

How do you cheat? You got a phone in front of you. Did you cheat? Oh, is that how you normally cheat? No, I mean, I swapped my answers in mid-show. Yeah, after you cheated? Yeah, after you cheated. We'd been talking for a solid 10 minutes.

And then out of nowhere you went, oh, can I change my answer? And I noticed that you put your phone down, as you said. I promise you, I don't care about winning. Hang on, I'm just following back the cord from Alistair's headphones and they don't go into the computer like everybody else. They go through this hole in the wall. There's all this plaster dust on the ground. Who's outside that wall?

It's the second Matt Stewart. From the ground. Who's outside that wall? Oh, it's... It's the second Matt Stewart. From the future. Says he needs me to win this episode in order to save the world. Oh, wow. Okay, well, I guess we've got to let Al win. All right, we're up to question number five. This one comes from Bella from Sydney.

Hang on, who's that behind the future Matt Stewart? It's the future Alistair Trombley-Birchall holding a pointed stick. He's not saying that. He's saying that under duress. And Bella from Sydney has given us a question. Yes, Bella's question is, what is Cunningham's law? What is Cunningham's law? Oh, like a Murphy's Law type thing.

Yeah, exactly. That's right. I can never remember. And while you're... Yeah, what is Murphy's Law? If anything can go wrong, it will go wrong. Yeah, that's it. While you're writing your answers,

here's some more info about the Big Hurt. According to Adam, Frank Thomas is, was, and always will be a big human. Adam's just written this so poetically. I love it. Being 6'5", 240 pounds, he is the Chicago White Sox all-time home run leader at 448 homers from 1990 to 2005, while finishing with a total of 521 to finish his career in 2008.

He's also the only player in Major League history to have seven consecutive seasons with at least a.300 batting average. 100 runs batted in RBI, 100 runs scored, 100 walks and 20 home runs. How about that Frank the Big Hurt Thomas. As for how he got his nickname NBC Sports explains the moniker was used in the title of a video game was used on several baseball cards and when Thomas started up his own beer it was called Big Hurt Beer. Frank Thomas was the Big Hurt because of the hurt he put on several baseball cards. And when Thomas started up his own beer, it was called Big Hurt Beer. Frank Thomas was the Big Hurt

because of the hurt he put on a baseball and because, well, he was big. Ballplayers simply don't come in king size. What does that mean? They don't come in king size. Are they all big? I guess maybe they're not. Maybe it's all football and basketball gets the big guys

and baseball gets the little guys. I assumed it would be good for them to be big guys and baseball gets the little guys or something. Apart from this guy. I assumed it would be good for them to be big because they could hit the ball hard. Yeah, they'd have a bigger swinging circumference thing. King size. Yeah, right. That's the one thing about this show, Andy.

You laugh. Of course. Of course you laugh. Of course you laugh. We're all laughing right now. But something that people don't realise, amongst the laughter, there's a little learning that's done.

What's the difference between among and amongst? That's a great question. I mean, amongst is, I think it's just, if you finish saying among and you've still got a little bit left in you, you can leave the tail on. Amongst. This is from dictionary.com. left in you, you can leave the tail on. Amongst. This is from dictionary.com.

In both speech and writing, among and amongst are interchangeable. Both are grammatically correct and mean the same thing. However, amongst is often considered old-fashioned or pretentious in American English, so you may want to avoid it. Yes, I don't want anyone to think I'm pretentious. I just want them to think I'm ten-tious. All right. The answers are in for question number five. What is Cunningham's law?

It's the idea that while it seems like nice guys finish last, it's not really the case. Named for Richie Cunningham from Happy Day, who always ended up just as happy or happier than the Fonz. When you use the restroom at an acquaintance's house, you are 78 times more likely to not notice that there is no toilet paper until it's too late, leaving you having to take desperate measures

to clean yourself and return to the dinner table. And using the toilet brush. That's a desperate measure. Yeah, you just have a full shower. You come out and you're like, sorry, I just swolls in there. To get out, there's no towel. Oh, no. You have to use the toilet brush.

The concept that the best way to get the right answer on the internet is not to ask a question but to post the wrong answer. A creamy red cabbage salad made instead with pink salted pork meat. Alistair. What? You know that thing where we share a mind? Yeah. It's a popular name.

It's a popular homemade brand of salad made from cabbage, carrot, and mayonnaise, often mispronounced as Cunningham's Law. Coleslaw. Coleslaw. I did not. I didn't get it until the second time around. Coleslaw. Coleslaw coleslaw coleslaw coleslaw I did not I didn't get it until the second time around coleslaw

coleslaw okay so which one do you guys think it is it's definitely one of the salad ones but I can't remember which one or is it

the less sunny it is the higher an individual's chance of getting sunburned it is so people are less likely to apply sunscreen according to Cunningham's law the middle of a wintry night

is the best time to flip-flop-slap. Okay, so you've got happy days, you've got no toilet paper, asking the internet the wrong answer or posting the wrong answer, you've got the two salads. Yeah, great. We're really giving them the dignity they deserve the two wrong answers and for the uh the less sunny it is the higher the chance of getting sunburn it is that one nearly got me into i know the correct answer but i'm gonna give it to the

sunscreen one because it made me laugh the most that's really good it's so obviously wrong but i'm gonna choose that one because wrote it, they deserve the points, even if it's Matt Stewart, who I despise. I don't, I feel like you're not playing the game right, Annie, but that's all right. No, but he flagged quite early on that he's just here to have fun. Yeah. Is it fun to lose?

Is it fun to make Matt upset? Yes. What about you, Al? I know the answer and I'm going to pick it. Yes. It's posting the wrong answer online in order to get the answer that you think. In the spirit of Cunningham's Law, I was choosing the wrong answer in the hope of drawing that correct answer out of you.

Now I'm going to change my answer to the one Alistair chose. Okay, well done. And Jess? I'm going to change my answer to the one Alistair chose. Okay, well done. And Jess? I'm going to go the ham coleslaw. No, I would also like to move you to that one. You want the correct one as well? Yes, please. Okay.

All right, let's go through who wrote the answers. The Richie Cunningham from Happy Days 1. That was Bella. Okay, the house. Very funny, Bella. Good stuff, Bella. That's funny. Terrific. When you used the restroom in an acquaintance's house. That was Bella. Okay, the house. Very funny, Bella. Good stuff, Bella. Well done. That's funny. Terrific.

When you used the restroom in an acquaintance's house, that was Jess Perkins. Very funny. That took me ages. Really started a dialogue. Yeah. That's what I came here to do today. The first cabbage one with pink salted pork meat,

that was Alistair. Very good, Alistair. The other coastal one was Andy Matthews. Thank you. The less sunny it is, that was the house. That was good. So, it means the correct answer was the concept that the best way to get the right answer on the internet is post the wrong answer. So, one point to each.

Al, Andy and Jess. And no points to the house. Fuck you house. That was the first round the house didn't score. Which felt good. I appreciate that everybody. House needs a break. Alright so quick score update. Two rounds to go. Jess is on two points.

Half of those being pity points. Andy is on three points. One third of those being pity points. Although one of them was also subtracted. So you sort of ended up back in where you belonged. But out in front on equal six points is Alistair Tremblay-Birchall in the house. I'm very excited for you, Alistair. So it's anyone's game.

It is anyone's game. Yeah, there's still a lot of points on the table. As we come to question six, the penultimate question. This comes from Jamie from Clovis in either Canada or California. Because CA means both, I think. Oh. I could look up where Clovis is, but I'm sure Jamie knows. And Jamie's question is, what happened on MTV on March the 10th, 1999?

What happened on MTV on March the 10th, 1999? Clovis is in California. Really? Sorry, I'm going to have to go and take a phone call. Yeah, no worries. While you're writing your answers, let me tell you more about Cunningham's Law. According to Bella via BigThink.com, most people can't stand an incorrect statement to go uncorrected.

So often, as they put you right, they'll give you a torrent of erudition. You'll get a much better answer than if you simply asked. This is known as Cunningham's Law. It's named after Ward Cunningham, who developed much of the software that is now used in wiki-type websites, of which Wikipedia is the biggest example. Huh. I love that. Wow. So, you'd all heard of that before?

Nah. I hadn't. I just followed them. Yeah. I had heard it because I am terminally online. And so it is a thing that has come up and I actually seen it very recently again. So that was very fresh. Fresh in your brain.

In my quite deadened brain from having spent so much time online. But I do collect little nuggets of things, you know, like a sausage rolling on a barbershop floor. Which begs the question, why is a rolling on a barbershop floor. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Which begs the question, why is a sausage in a barbershop? Yeah. Probably Sausage Fridays. Yeah.

Very sorry. I've forgotten what the question was. What happened on MTV on March the 10th, 1999? Tippity-tap, tippity-tap. Straight away. That was so quick. I knowy's which one andy's is gonna be he just like he just had it you know that's amazing all right here is question number six what happened on mtv on march the 10th 1999 a concerned parent phoned in requesting that they play some proper classical music. VJ Paulie Shaw said a request is a request and played Nigel Kennedy's recording of Vivaldi's The Four Seasons in full.

An online campaign led to a cheesy 80s hit by New Kids on the Block being played as it was the second most requested song that week. An online campaign in 1999. I wonder what form that would have taken. Several very lengthy forum posts. Beavis and Butthead debuted their first episode. More TP for more bunghole. Marilyn Manson was extra. Beavis and Deboothead. Deboothead. Deboot Head.

Deboot Head. Yeah, they missed a trick there. Debeavis and Deboot Head. Yeah, that would have been better. Marilyn Manson was X-rayed live on air in an effort to end a rumour. It backfired, though, when the results seemed to reveal he was in fact short one rib. Just one. Just one.

So he's going to be like, he removed one rib so he could suck a testicle. Getting x-rayed live on TV is pretty funny. Bob Dylan shat his pants. That's it. Getting X-rayed live on TV is pretty funny. Bob Dylan shat his pants. That doesn't sound like somebody would have had to type for very long for that one to come out. Look at the idea that was just front of mind. The idea you've always got locked and loaded and ready to go.

Or a collection of television programs and music videos were broadcast. That's a normal day. I think they found the loophole in the game there. So you've got the Vivaldi fourth season being played, online campaign leading the new kids on the block being played, Beavis and Butthead, Dave Butting, Marilyn Manson being x-rayed, Bob Dylan shitting his pants,

or a collection of programs and music videos broadcast. Yeah, all right. I mean, I feel like Beavis and Boothead is what I am going to go with. It's not a very interesting answer, but I'm not here to have fun. I want to win. Wait, no, but earlier you were saying you were here to have fun. I don't remember that. Oh.

Huh. There you go. Could have been something that happened in that phone call that changed his mind. I was also going to say Beavis and Butthead, but I might say Marilyn Manson got X-rayed. So I think that's funny. And that's what 90s TV was all about.

It was all about. It was all X-rayed. I don't think you'd do it now. I was also going to say Beavis and Butthead, but... Head. Head. I will say the Pauly Shore one. Yes.

The reason I'm not saying Pauly Shore is because I know that Matt Stewart likes to use Pauly Shore as a comedic device, and I believe it's probably coming from the pen. A regular listen, mate. A regular listener. I'm going to change my answer. Okay, let's do To Marilyn Manson. She's copying me.

Dad, tell him he can't copy me. It's just the only other one I could remember. Okay. All right. Well, let's go through who wrote the answers. A collection of television programs and music videos were broadcast. That was Jess Perkins. I thought it would be funny if nothing happened.

No, that wasn't good. Yeah, I liked it. Not enough to pick it, though, did you? No, I'm not here to have fun. I feel like you would have been able to claim a point there if you did pick it, though. That's true, yeah. Bob Dylan shat his pants.

That was Andy Matthews. Oh, okay. So quick. Bang, had it. Bob Dylan shat his pants. I don't know. I love and respect Bob Dylan so much. It made me feel really sort of naughty to write that. But there you go.

The one about Paulie Shaw being a VJ, that was the house. It's funny. I looked up a list of MTV VJs and, yeah, Paulie Shaw did jump out at me. Is Paulie Shaw working that much these days? Yeah, he's got a podcast. I think he's touring comedy clubs. I saw somebody that I follow on Twitter was going on tour with him. I was going to go with her because if he's not doing that much work these days,

in fact, I think he's surely poor. That was really good. I'm sorry. Do you want to ask the question again? No, don't. I don't think he's working that much, actually. No, well, then he's surely poor. It's okay.

Oh! Woo! Beavers and Butthead, they butted their first episode. That was Alistair Trombeau-Burke. Yay! So that bit where he pretended to want to choose his own one, Their first episode, that was Alistair Trombeau-Burke. Yay! So that bit where he pretended to want to choose his own one, even after we'd already locked in our answers,

was just a bit of fucking dancing on our graves. I just wanted you to not move your answer, you know? Clever. Marilyn Manson being X-rayed live on air, that was The House. No! Online campaign. So the correct answer is an online campaign led to a cheesy 80s hit by New Kids on the Block being played as it was the second most requested song that week.

Wow. It would have been one of the first online campaigns. Yes. And it was a chain email campaign, which is real fun. Quick score update. Going into the final round, we've got Jess Perkins on two points, Andy Matthews on three points, ATB on seven points, but out in front on eight points, it's the house.

The final round is worth double points, so that means it truly still is anyone's game, even Jess. Even Jess. She won't, but she could. So I just don't want the house to win. So I'm just going to tell you which one I write. Okay. Then you can give me.

Just so that you don't pick it. Yeah. All right. I'm going to work with you here. You don't have to ruin the game. Yeah, okay, house. All right. Cheers to the woes.

Sneaky houses trying to. So we always finish with a film synopsis question. And this one, I think this is the first time it's happened. This one has been suggested by three different listeners. Gaddy J from Birmingham in the UK. Angelo Del Gaducci from Somersworth in New Hampshire. And Tana and Erin Nordstrom Young from Calgary, Alberta. So really that's four listeners. That's four. Oh, my God. Guduchi from Somersworth in New Hampshire and Tanner and Aaron Nordstrom

Young from Calgary, Alberta. So really that's four listeners? That's four, oh my god. Holy shit.

This is exciting. It's 30% more. Yeah. So the question is, what is the synopsis of the 2018 film The Velocipasta?

What is the synopsis of the 2018 film The Veloipasta? While your answer is being written, here is some more information about the MTV incident, which was actually written on the MTV website way back in 1999. MTV wrote,

The democratic and often cheeky spirit of the internet flashed itself again this week as a number of users spurred on by a grassroots email campaign vaulted an 11-year-old song from 80s heartthrobs New Kids on the Block into MTV's Total Request live countdown. As a result of a focused email campaign, a number of netizens logged into MTV's website on Wednesday to register write-in votes for Hanging Tough.

I know it's a very old cheesy song but just think of how funny that would be to see an old new kids on the block song in the top 10 one version of the chain email read apparently plenty of folks agreed as the song which topped the singles charts in 1989 will land at number two on the countdown on thursday one guy who might not be thrilled with the news is former New Kid Jordan Knight, who is currently forging a successful solo career of his own. Hanging tough? I wouldn't go near hanging tough, Knight recently told MTV News when asked if the set list for his upcoming tour might feature any vintage New Kids on the Block nuggets.

All right, the answers are in for the final question. What is the synopsis of the 2018 film The Velocipasta? The contents from a novelty box of dino pasta comes to life. Yes. And it's up to 12-year-old Dale Wilson and his ragtag bunch of friends to save the day. I'm afraid the presence of the phrase ragtag might give that away as a Matt Stewart special.

Okay, well, interesting. I could be wrong. I could be wrong. It also might give it away as the kind of film that I would like to feature. Yeah. Oh. He's just prone to ragtags. Lots of ragtags.

I also love learning lessons along the way. Yes. Who doesn't love a ragtag and lessons to be learned? Yeah. Imagine if some ragtags did learn a lesson along the way. Andy, some cliches are that for a reason. They work. All of them.

Even that in itself is now a cliche, which I like. Option two, when world-renowned paleontologist Benjamin Frendle is buried alive in a rock slide while on a dig, the science world is distraught. But when he rises three days later, preaching a religion that dinosaurs supposedly practiced millions of years ago, he's ridiculed and persecuted. Will he die a martyr or start a religious revolution? Wow.

Wow. A pasta documentary about Bucantini, a pasta who, like the Velociraptor, had its name given to a bigger, cooler-looking pasta, but was actually the name of a smaller noodle. This is its story. Big fan of this is its story as well. I bought some pasta. I bought some pasta recently that was called... It could be anyone. Jess is looking at Alistair,

and Alistair's laughing with a very strained look on his face. I think Alistair's maybe playing it cool or he just is cool. I can't tell. Very cool. I'm a cool guy. So that's option three. Option four, after losing his parents, a priest travels to China where he inherits a mysterious ability that allows him

to turn into a dinosaur. At first horrified by this new power, he soon decides to use it to fight crime, ninjas, and seek vengeance for his parents' death. Two priest-based ones. Yeah, but also I wonder, did he inherit it from China or from his parents dying? Because, you know, to inherit something from somewhere else not long after your parents die is very interesting. Just a strange coincidence, isn't it? Yeah, maybe he's travelling home to China where his parents were from or something.

What was his name? There are people from China out there. Quite a few, I believe, yeah. What's his name? He doesn't have a name. No, okay. The only name I think we've seen so far. Oh, no, we've had Dale Wilson and Benjamin Friendle.

Oh, they could be from China. Can I take the first half of option two? Option four is a pastor. A pastor finds himself with a new superpower of increased exorcism velocity. finds himself with a new superpower of increased exorcism velocity. He can now do 15 exorcisms a day with the help of his fun-loving sidekick, the choir boy Dino. The pair attempt to defeat the resurgent Beelzebub and his enslaved army of the damned

and hopefully learn something about themselves along the way. I might have forgotten about that. Well, finally, Pastor Ian McCulty enters a competition to become the world's fastest priest. But when a time portal to the Jurassic opens in the lobby of the Vatican, he runs into more than he bargained for. With ravenous reptiles prowling St. Peter's Basilica, he's gone from praying to being prayed upon. Whoa. Somebody spent

a bit of time on that copy. Alright, so just quickly going through them, we had the novelty box of Dino Pasta. I think at this point, we can't ask Matt to give us the spelling of the name Velociraptor. No, I don't think so. I think we're past that. Yes, we're past to that point. Well past. And I'm not going to tell you the spelling of that past. Then you've got the world-renowned paleontologist Benjamin Frendel who finds a new dinosaur

or an old dinosaur religion. The pastor documentary about Bucatini. You've got the guy who travels to China where he finds a mysterious ability that allows him to turn into a dinosaur. Then we have the pastor who has increased exorcism velocity. Yes. Very good. That's how they measure it. Or the pastor who enters the competition to become the world's fastest priest

and he goes from praying to being prayed upon. Like is it a running race or is it like he can get through a mass really quickly? Oh, yeah. Interesting. Past in what capacity? Yeah, it could be maybe like a faster pastor eating competition as well. Yeah, yeah. It just doesn't say.

I mean, they're all fucking stupid. They're all, these are the dumbest ones I've ever heard. The entire group is really like, you come up with some really bad films on this and these are the worst ones. I'm going to choose the one about the guy who goes to China, but I don't feel good about it. All right.

I'm locking that in. I would say that if it was up to me, I'd green light all these films. I think they're all fantastic. Sure. Sam Neill? Do you think you'd let him play something in there? Yeah, I think Sam Neill would be up for it. He'd be Dale with the ragtag bunch of films.

Chinese Dale. Chinese Dale. Yeah. He was a little child. I don't think he'd be Chinese Dale. No? No. Why?

Yeah, good question. He could have been raised in China. That's true. Maybe adopted by a family there. Yeah, that's true. I hadn't thought about that. Who had given away all their daughters and adopted one from New Zealand. Okay.

Did a swap. Yeah, that's true. I'm going to lock in the China one as well. China one as well. Oh, gee, somebody's going to be loading up on points in this, the final round. Yeah. I think it could be Alistair George William Trombley.

Yeah, could be. I'm going to go for the last one. Okay. Locking that in for Alistair. All right. Well, let's go through who wrote very exhorted

the answers the contents from a novelty box of dino pasta coming to life when 12 year old Dale Wilson and his ragtag bunch of friends got involved that was Jess Perkins whoa used a mat word

I also love a ragtag oh yeah I probably got it from you yeah oh yeah we are the same person I also I definitely got the bloopers from you.

The love of bloopers in the credits. That's what this whole show now has an extended blooper thing because of your love of bloopers. I love bloopers. Even though these probably aren't bloopers. They're just the best bits. Yeah. Which are bloopers to me.

And everyone sits through the show to get to them. I love bloopers. Bloppers. Bloppers. Bloppers. Bloppers. Bloppers. Bloppers. Bloppers. Bops bloppers. Welcome back to Bops Top Bloppers.

I'm your host, Bop. Bop Top. Let's begin our countdown. Tonight's number 10 blessed bloppers. Top of the blobs. Top of the blops. Top of the blops. But I have no energy throughout. Hi.

Welcome back, Bob's bloppers. Is it a blop or is it a flop? We'll find out after the break. When world-renowned paleontologist Benjamin Frendel got buried alive, came back to life with the dinosaur religion, that was Tanner slash Aaron slash the house. Yeah. Very good.

Tanner and Aaron, fantastic work there. Pastor finds himself with a new superpower of increased exorcism velocity. That was Gary J, Angelo and the house worked on that together. That's nice. That's beautiful. I merged multiple ideas into one there. Do you know what we've got? The possibility that it's the pasta one with the

pasta the food. Then the pasta documentary about Book and Teeny. That was Alistair Trumbly-Birchville. What a poker face on him. Yeah. Beautiful poker face. Laughing at your own joke and looking around like, oh. That's great.

Pastor Ian McCulty, who goes from praying to being preyed upon, that Al picked. That was Andy Matthews. Oh, da, da, da. And I'm not, I didn't have it. I couldn't ask you how to pronounce it. It's not Ian, is it? It's Owen.

Yeah, I don't know myself. Oh, Jess is good with to pronounce. It's not Ian, is it? It's Owen. Yeah, I don't know myself. Oh, Jess is good with Irish. E-O-I-N. Yeah, that's usually Owen. Owen. I thought if I asked you, that might give it away. Andy, how did you pronounce? Is your family Irish?

So that's three points to Andy there. That's exciting. Meaning the correct answer is after losing his parents, a priest travels to China where he inherits a mysterious ability. Maximum pointies? Sentimental dinosaur. No, not quite maximum pointies. That is. Almost. answer is after losing his parents a priest travels to china where he inherits a mysterious ability that is almost oh my god i've lost uh carry the two while i'm adding up the scores i'll let you know quickly that this film uh was a very low budget indie film with a 36 000 budget but it did get 61 percent splat score from the critics on Rotten Tomatoes and 73% from the audience. I'll give you a brief splat review, then a brief positive review. Tuesday Blue wrote, The Velocipasta may be attempting to be

a cult favourite B movie, but it's unclear how much of the bad in this film is actually intentional. Whereas Alex Turner wrote, A ludicrous monster movie, which is way more entertaining than I expected. The Velocipasta really must be seen to be believed. Wow. That's hot sizzle. Is it that pasta is sort of like a rearranging the letters of raptor?

Is that sort of how the pun works? It's a funny kind of pun. Yeah, it doesn't, because it doesn't seem like it works. Velociraptor, Velocipa. It doesn't quite, but it almost does. It's the swapped sort of the R and the P. Velocipapsmere. Velocipapsmere?

That sounds exciting. Sounds painful. So, the scores are in. Here they are. Oh, my God. I'm going to be last, I think. That's not possible. No.

On five points. In fourth position, it's Jess Perkins. I am last. In third position on seven points, it's Alistair Trombley-Burchill. Gracious me. You're so lucky that this dumb shit is here. I'll save by the bop. In second position on eight points, it's The House.

Many out in front on nine points, it's Andy Matthews. What do you mean? See, I'm just here to have fun. I'm just here to have fun. And you know what the ultimate fun is? Winning. Winning. Winning the most points and crushing my friends.

It was actually Andy's coach that called up earlier and said, all right, now I want you to get a fucking mind into gear. You're the fastest. You're the strongest. There's nobody better than you. Nobody's smarter than you. Like that. Yeah.

Nobody more better at the riff. The riff. I'm obviously not. I'm the coach. That's why I wasn't able to say it. But you are. You're good. I'm very good.

Thank you. Now, Andy, where can people find you if they want to? Obviously, these fantastic three new specials you've released. Is it a good place. Yeah, I think that's the best and the only place. But you can also check out 2 and Think Tank. And you can purchase a copy of Gustav and Henry, Volume 1 or Volume 2, books for young readers about a pig and a dog.

Al, how about you? You can find me at the 2 and the Think Tank podcast. I mean, it's the same thing again. I wish we had joined our platform. But you haven't written any children's books, have you? No, that's true. You can, oh, I'm thinking I'm writing a Shusher right now. Shusher Guided Meditations. You can find that podcast. Yeah, great. And you can, you know, find Magma or Teleport or My Client is Innocent on YouTube. And Jess, where can

people find you? They can find me on our other podcast, Do Go On, which is The Light of My Life. This week's episode is a real fun story about a woman who wrote music from beyond the grave. Yes! Yeah, great story. She was a decomposer. Oh my god. Holy shit, that's good. Did you do that? No. I think Jess's up was songs in the key of ghost. She was decomposing.

That would have been fucking better. That's smoother. That's neater. I wish we had nobody released it. If only we just have Andy's voice somewhere in the middle. With no explanation. The riff coach. Maybe halfway through episodes you should call Andy and just go,

you got anything on this? We should. We should. That's true. Thanks so much for listening, everyone. Please give us a five-star review. Tell your friends if you think you know anyone who might enjoy it, which, frankly, should be nearly everybody.

Cheers for tuning in to Who Knew It with Matt Stewart. Now that you know it, I've been Matt Stewart. Goodbye. Toodles. Bye. Bye. Toodles Bye Oh, it's like he didn't want to. Yeah, like a trainee ghost. A boo.

A boo. How's that? Did I do it? An apprental ghost. Very good, Alistair. Ah, yes. Ah, yes. Ah, bravo.

He sounded like an apprentice Dracula. Ah, yes. Ah, yes. I thought he sounded like a pretty experienced Dracula. Yeah, actually, right. Sorry. He's a veteran Dracula. Yes. Yes. I thought he sounded like a pretty experienced Dracula. Yeah, actually, right. Sorry. He's a veteran Dracula. Hey.

Veretula. Profacula. Oh, gosh. Sorry. Let's start the podcast. Welcome to Who Knew with Matt Stewart. Oh, hang on. I can't even read it right.

I just thought of something funny to say about the last interaction we had. Yeah, jump in. Great timing. The early Jess gets the clap. All right, I'm done. Yeah, that's it. That doesn't make any sense. She's the one clapping for herself.

Yeah, she's the early Jess. But she doesn't get the clap then. She gives the clap. Well, in the instance where it was my introduction, I both started and got the clap. You're right, giving and receiving. Yeah, you normally have to have the clap to be able to give. Now, just to be clear, Matt, I assume that everybody introduces

every sentence that they say with, I just thought of a funny thing to say about the previous interaction, and you edit that out in post? Yeah, that's right. Okay, great. About half the show time is deleted. It really cuts down. Yeah. I can't believe, Matt Stewart, that I'm here in person with you and you're referring to our three specials and not using your catchphrase, triptych. I feel really ripped off.

Wow. I feel like a fool. Wow. I didn't realise that was my catchphrase either. I said that word for a long time before someone told me that it's not how you even say it. Yeah, that's what I like about it. Yeah. I didn't know because Dave taught it to me, Dave Warnocky.

Yeah, so any blame goes to him for any mispronunciation. I like when somebody says something wrong to me, you know, like really wrong. It's quite erotic for me. Is it? And that includes wrong pronunciation, I am also. But you've never corrected me. You just like it like that.

Or did you assume I was in on it? Because I have been for a while. Yeah, right. Not the first couple of years. Let's see if I can spot the point at which you become self-aware. Yeah, there's a little glint in my eye. We call it the Matt couple of years. I'll listen back and see if I can spot the point at which you become self-aware. Yeah, there's a little glint in my eye. We call it the Matt Stewart singularity. This is about another podcast called Do Go On,

which Jess and I host with Dave Warnocki. Ah, the Do Go On triptych. Yes, we are the Do Go On triptych. And again, anything that we ever do or say wrong is Dave Warnocki's fault. Yeah. Oh, yes. Just across the board. And he feels very comfortable with getting things wrong.

He loves it. Yeah. He loves to be corrected. He loves to be corrected online later. It does not ruin his day. Do you ever call him a slimy little worm? We don't need to. He knows.

It's called subtext, Alistair. Oh, yes. He knows. Okay. Are subtext, Alistair. Oh, yes. He knows. Okay, are we ready to play? Yes. I'm a bit nervous because the three of you, very smart people, know a lot of things. Thank you for lumping me in there.

I appreciate it. I appreciate you lumping me in there too. Andy's really smart. Al and I are. I expected to be in there, to be honest. Al and I, how would I say this nicely? We're dumb shits. If you do know, if you know the answers, still write a fake one.

Play it like you don't. At least for the, until you, when you guess it, you can say, I knew it all along. Matt says this now because one time I said that I knew the answer and then I said, I think I ruined the whole facade of the whole thing. Did you put it into the episode that I said that I knew the answer and then I said I think I ruined the whole facade of the whole thing. Did you put it into the episode that I said it? I can't remember if I was able to edit around it or not. Yeah, sure. But if I did

I'll have to edit around this now. Banging away. Anything now should be the clap while he hits that keyboard. banging away. Andy's should be the clap while he hits that keyboard. How did you go, Andy? Yeah, not good. Sounded like about three sentences. I'm really, I'm overthinking it because last time I was on the podcast I accidentally plagiarised one of my answers from somewhere else

and now I'm terrified of doing it again. I thought I had an original thought and then I, after the podcast, realised that it was not an original thought. I went back to the source material and discovered I had more or less completely typed it out word for word. Oh, no, that is unlucky. Yeah. Your brain really stuffed you there.

I don't think I got the point, so it's okay. Okay. I was, you know. Did you get a laugh though? That was punishment enough. I got a chortle, a chuckle. Okay. Yes.

And I'm happy to have that stricken from my permanent record. So that happened on the live Brisbane episode where Peter James, one of his answers, Meg Jaegereger who was also playing she goes you wrote that peter james and you ripped it off angus angus gordon it was a great moment wow so she could even guess that it was his and guess she ripped it that was so it was so much good analysis yeah it was. It was great. And it was right. And he was like, did I? And he didn't, like you, he didn't,

I don't think he realised until he got called out on it. Very fun. And quite a deep personal humiliation. Yeah. Very enjoyable to Matt Stewart. Okay. When you put it like that, it doesn't sound so nice. That's good.

I've been watching a lot of Winnie the Pooh. Reading a lot. No, I'm asking Andy. I've been. I am. Yes. Is it now that it's out in the public domain? Finally.

Now, I don't read anything unless it's in the public domain. It also means you can't be called out for stealing. For plagiarising. For plagiarising. For plagiarising. Which I do. It's one of your things. If you would rank the powerfulness of the chakras, which one would you, which one's up top?

Chakra khan. Chakra khan. Is that something? Yeah. I don't know many of the chakras. That absolutely works for me. I assume one of the bicep chakras would probably be one of the strongest. Yeah, yeah.

Maybe the thoa chakra. Yeah, you think it just means muscles, don't you? Muscles, yeah. The quads chakra. Yeah, the quads. Chakra quads. Yeah, chakra quads. That's my strongest chakra, that's for sure.

I think that the brain is the strongest. It's the most erotic chakra. is the most erotic chakra. If you were a philosopher, you'd fuck people's brains. Fuck people's brains. That's what I would do. Fuck their brains out. Between the two hemispheres. Push the hemispheres together.

Push them together like a sort of a push-up bra. Two hemispheres. Make them just spill over the skull. You've got one of those very, very sexual little peephole skulls. Peephole scalp would be a peephole scalp. Peephole scalp. Just giving you that hint of the hemisphere gap. Oh, you couldn't fit a credit card in there.

Oh, you'd want to. You'd want to. How would you play the brain? Sorry, sorry. We're Alistair and Al haven't been in the same room for quite some time. It feels good. It feels electric. Yeah, yeah.

Much like whenever I'm on Turn the Think Tank, I sit back and Watch it happen Just watch it happen Yeah Would you like to be on it again sometime? I'd love to go have a front row seat See you push your two big brains together

No Sometimes we overthink things don't we? A lot Sometimes we take half an hour To get through two questions Sometimes Well in the edit The listeners will only think this is five minutes in. Get fucked.

That's a brutal edit. I think the pre-show was more than five minutes. If you're hearing this, he has been brutal in the edit. I won't be hearing this. But if you're not hearing this, he's been even more brutal. Yeah. I love that music so much. That mountain people music just makes my heart sing.

And so I think deep down I am connected to those people, wherever they came from. Because that music must have come from somewhere else as well, right? Some of that must have come from Germany or something like that, where they came from. But have you seen the movie The Jerk? Steve Martin's The Jerk? He's raised by a black family, and he doesn't connect with any of the soul music,

but then he hears hillbilly music on the radio and his feet start tapping. That's you. It's been a long time, but yeah, I am. You got those hillbilly genes. Steve Martin. I watched that race. It was great. I really enjoyed it.

Strange film. Couldn't make a movie like that these days. No, probably not. I love the song somewhere somewhere you belong to my heart but tonight

you belong to me oh yeah you know that song from that movie and then at the end she starts playing the trumpet and it's really funny

but then it's also emotional yeah it's beautiful it's good then I think in that scene he actually accidentally steps on the ukulele and breaks quite an antique ukulele but that's not shown in the movie it's just a that's just something from the behind the scenes something don't cut this out matt

you might have just saved it there with that plane please been listening to bill brosnan's book about American English. Yeah. And, yeah. The audio book of it. A lot of books on the go at the moment. The audio book, it's amazing because it'll go through, like, different spellings of things and there'll be sometimes, like, a paragraph which in a book would just look like, you know, just a list of words. But he says the word and then he spells it out in multiple different ways.

I think he should just say the words. He's got all the synonyms, all the homophones, just reading them out over and over again. You have no idea which one he's saying. Yeah, yeah. That would be better. That'd be a great day for that narrator, feeling really good about their job choice then.

Is it Bill Bryson reading it himself? This one isn't, no, but a very talented reader is reading it. Is he related to Bill? Yes, he's Bill's dad. Oh, that's so cool. And Bill's in bed talented reader is reading it. Is he related to Bill? Oh, yes, he's Bill's dad. Oh, that's so cool. And Bill's in bed while he's reading it. Oh, my God. It's actually really sweet. Yeah.

You can hear Bill drift off. That's nice. A little writer snore. Yeah. Can you hear the dad sort of drifting in and out of consciousness as well? Because I find that happens to me a lot when I'm reading to the kids. I can't stay awake. They like me to tell them stories and they also like to play the options game,

which is where I give them a bunch of options. Is this the Brysons? No, this is the little Bryson boys. I tuck them up in bed and we play the options game. That's why you call Bill and his brothers. I give them like an option for what kind of vehicle they want. So it'll be, like, a monster truck or a motorbike or whatever. And then we go through choosing options to, like, additions for that.

Oh, you pimp their rides. Yeah, I pimp their rides. Exactly. It's really cute. Of the mind. Pimp your ride of the mind. Daddy ride? And, you know, I'm drifting in and out of sleep as I'm doing this.

And, you know, I found myself waking up and the boy's saying, what's Chris Martin? And I'm like, Chris Martin from Coldplay. And they're like, why would we want that on our motorbike? My brain is just like words are just coming out of my head with no connection to thought. Chris Martin. Chris Martin.

It's just an option, boys. Do you want Chris Martin on your motorbike?'s just an option. So you want an orange motorbike. You don't? Then pick another option. Honestly. What's Chris Martin? What's Chris Martin? Why would I want that on my motorbike?

Oh. His daughter's name's Apple. What? Yeah. This is baffling. Meet Moonbeam McSwine. Lovely daughter of Moonshine McSwine. Her favourite people are pigs

She's incredibly lazy And in 1941 her father plotted to get her married to Abner Yoakum Matt has fallen asleep And these are just the words that are coming out of his head He's reading us the story What's swine? Why would I want that on my motorbike? Everybody put your hands together

We're going to howl Howl That's another way you guys Everybody put your hands together or you go to Hald. I say, oh. Hald. Oh, that's another way you guys. Ah, interesting. It's a pronunciation often considered pretentious in America. Hugs. They'll give you a torrent of erudition.

Fuck. What does that mean? I guess that's, am I saying erudition right? It sounds so good. Okay. I don't know. I don't know if I know that word. Erudition. Erudition.

Oh, man, I'd fucking nailed it. The quality of having or showing great knowledge or learning. Wow. Erudition. Whoa, that was good. That was so good. You can tell you do voice work. Thank you.

Oh, that's going to have to go on at the end of the episode now. That's how good that was. You say it again. Erudition. Oh, my God. You should be a robot computer that people yell at. I'd love to be a robot computer. That people yell at.

That bit, I'm happy to take or leave. Yeah. Well, that's fine, but that wasn't the offer the offer wasn't the shorter version fuck matt doesn't get it he doesn't get it oh i used a lot of very pretentious pronunciations there was so many sts st on the end of every word it's just a list of streets. Very good. That's good. Sorry.

Couldn't help myself. I can't believe to actually get booped by a bop. That was good. Booped by a bop. Booped by a bop. Booped. Oh.