Who Knew It with Matt Stewart - 42 - Jess Perkins and Dave Warneke

Episode Date: June 26, 2023

Who Knew It with Matt Stewart is a comedy game show podcast hosted by Australian comedian Matt Stewart. I've been sick this week but luckily had this mini episode up my sleeve, it went into the Do Go On feed last year when the show was still pretty new - hope you enjoy it with guests Jess Perkins (Do Go On, Simply the Jest) and Dave Warneke (Do Go On, Book Cheat)! Get tickets to see the podcast/Matt live: https://www.mattstewartcomedy.com/Watch Matt's stand up special FREE on YouTube: https://youtu.be/cWStRpI-BhESupport the show via http://patreon.com/dogoonpod and you can submit questions for the show!Check out Matt, Jess and Dave's podcast network: https://dogoonpod.com/Theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and Logo by @muzdoodles! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Oh my God, can you believe it? It's the year 2024. It's Melbourne Comedy Festival and we've just moved venues. We're at the Grace Darling now. We had a great run at the Chinese Museum, selling out shows by the end, but now we need you to come over to the Grace Darling and shows are at 7.15. It's going to be so much fun. Love to see you there. Let's have a beer. Use discount code do go on the show's called dry dry at the melbourne international comedy festival then we're going to sydney and brisbane tickets to all that stuff's on sale now and you can find those tickets and details at mattstuartcomedy.com welcome to who knew with matt stewart i'm the titular matt stewart and i'm just letting you Welcome to Who Knew With Matt Stewart. I'm the titular Matt Stewart. And I'm just letting you know, this week's episode is a little bit different. I've been crook this week, so I haven't been able to get a brand new episode up. But luckily, there's one that I haven't put out there before, recorded with Dave Warnock and Jess Perkins.

It went into the Do Go On feed at the time. It's a mini episode so much fun i've re-edited it so it's fit for this feed and uh yeah it was a whole heap of fun hopefully you enjoy listening to it um i was thinking about reading out some uh reviews and i started doing that i was going to put it at the end but they're all so nice that it felt a bit weird me just reading out people being nice to me at the end so i've decided not to do that in the end but i will say this i do read them all and i really really appreciate all those five star reviews which the vast majority of of them are and they're all so sweet so i really really appreciate that anyway i've already got next week's episode lined up with some fantastic guests so you can

look forward to us getting back to normal programming then but this one i think is really worth a listen hopefully you enjoy it now let me pass it over to me the titular matt stewart welcome to who knew it with matt stewart the show where the guests write the wrong answers i'm the titular matt stewart and this week i'm joined by do go on's own jess perkins i'm also joined by do go on's Dave Warnicky. Not Do Go On's own. No, no, no. Yeah, I don't know why.

I'm the one who is owned by Do Go On. That's right. And don't you forget it. Okay. It's all right. We made you, kid. Getting a bit too big for your boots there, kid. Out there thinking you can do other stuff.

Yeah, we're taking 30% of everything you make. We are your managers. That's not a bad little slice of the pie. Yes. And your dads. Yeah, my daddages. I like it. You know, there's momagers.

You're my daddages. I didn't know about momagers, but I like you. Like Kris Jenner. Yes. She's a momager. Of? The Kardashians. Oh, I thought like maybe a McDonald's franchise or something.

I think so. Is she a McMomager? She's a McMomager. Anyway. Great to be here. Thanks for having us. Oh, thanks so much for being here. Now, you might be wondering how the show works.

Well, it's pretty simple, really. I ask a question and the contestants have to write a convincing fake answer. Then I read their answers as well as the real one, and they guess which one they think is correct. Okay, are we ready to play? Ready to play. Lock it in. So we're just doing three questions this week. It's a mini version. Normally we do seven. It's about an hour long episode. This should be about half an hour. Although the amount that I'm over explaining things that may still go for the full hour. Let's see. The first question comes from listener Rachel Johnson from Melbourne. The first question comes from listener Rachel Johnson from Melbourne and the question is, what is a psychopomp?

Psychopomp. What is a psychopomp? I have a good one. Once you've got your answer written, send it my way. That's a good sign. That's a sign. That's a good sign. That's a sign.

I love when Jess is tickled by her own answers. While they're writing their answers or laughing about them, I'll explain how the scoring works. You get one point if your fake answer is guessed by the other contestant and another point if you correctly guess the answer. By the way, I'm also playing as the house. I've put in two of my own fake answers for each question and I get a point for each one of those that our guests choose. So each of us can score up to two points per round.

It seems fair, but apparently the probability favors me the house and the house always wins unless you've listened to previous episodes of the show and you'll know that is hardly ever true anyway our questions come from our great patreon supporters and if you want to submit a question sign up on any level via patreon.com slash do go on pod and that'll be linked in the show notes. Okay, now let's have a look. Dave's still tippity tapping away. Jess got hers in very quickly.

Can you see my Etsy yet? Yes. I was kind of hoping it would be a surprise because that makes you laugh. I'm in. I'm so excited. I cannot wait to hear what that mind has come up with. You won't know it's mine. Okay.

Your answer. Jess Birkin's here. My answer is. All right. Now, are you ready? Ready. For your answers. Okay.

Psycho-pomp. So, yeah, the question is, what is the definition of the word psychopomp? This question was written by Rachel from Melbourne. Here we go. Okay. You have five options. Okay. Okay, just poke a face and poke a laugh.

Okay. A Norwegian orchestra that reinterprets classical pieces as death metal songs. That's Jess Perkins right there. A chin strap used to attach large hats to people's heads. A spirit who guides the recently dead to the afterlife. A ceremonial hat often worn while leading a marching band, or my ex-wife.

You look up psychopom in the dictionary. What do you see? A picture of my ex-wife. She took everything. I'm crying. Okay, so I think that the Norwegian one was clearly Jess's joke answer, but that's how I'm going to look in my ex-wife. Can we hear the answers one more time really quickly?

Sure can. So you've got a Norwegian orchestra that reinterprets classical pieces as death metal songs, a chin strap used to attach large hats to people's heads, a spirit who guides the recently dead to the afterlife, a ceremonial hat often worn while leading a marching band, or my ex-wife. Was there instructions on how to deliver that or have you just nailed it? No, I'm not.

Sorry, am I saying that differently to the others? My ex-wife. Jess, any theories? I kind of want it to, I don't think it's a chin strap. I'm going to say it's the Norwegian orchestra. Okay. That's what I'm locking in. Norwegian orchestra. Okay, I'm tossing up it's the Norwegian orchestra. Okay. That's what I'm locking in. Norwegian orchestra.

Okay, I'm tossing up between my next one. I'm tossing up between the other band one or the other hat one, sorry. The hat one for a marching band? Hat one for a marching band or the afterlife one. Yeah, but I don't know where psycho comes from with afterlife. What does psycho mean? That's a good point. I don't really know. comes from with afterlife. What does psycho mean? That's a good point. I don't really know.

It must mean something, right? What's a psychopath? Well, and then like psychology and psychiatry. So it's like the etymology of psych. Jesse, are you looking it up? Oh, well, she's already locked in her answer. Okay. I'm just going to go with.

Oh, psych comes from Greek, meaning breath, spirit, soul, mind. That's really influenced my answer. I'm going to go with the marching band. Really? Yeah. Okay. I'm like, well, normally you wouldn't allow Jess to basically help that much, but Dave is not accepting the help.

I will not. I refuse. Fuck you. She's made up a Google definition of her own over there. We already know she's good at making up definitions. Yeah, very good at it. She's right in your head now. All right.

Here is who wrote the answers. A chin strap used to attach large hats to people's heads. That was Dave Warnicke. That was me. Absolutely. Because you've got a weird shaped head, so you need devices to keep hats on. But I have a regularly shaped chin.

So we had My Ex-Wife. That was written by Jess Perkins. What? Surprising there, Dave. Bit of a shock. So you didn't just lock in your own answer of Norwegian. No, I didn't. I thought that was strange.

A ceremonial hat often worn while leading a marching band. That was the house. No, boo. You just delivered a point straight through the front door of the house. Fuck. Through that little mail slot. Yeah.

Well, I've also thrown a brick through your window. So how about that? Up yours house. Well, that brick was attached to a point from Jess Perkins because the Norwegian orchestra was also written by the house. The correct answer was a spirit who guides the recently dead

to the afterlife. I really thought you were messing with me there. Interesting. I did not know where psych came from. And it doesn't make a whole lot of sense in the context that we use it in now. Where does pomp come from? Maybe you'll answer that.

Yeah, maybe you'll answer that. I can't remember. I wrote something down a while ago. Because often you've got a little bit of information about it. So I won't do too much research on my own because I'm sure you'll answer my questions. Okay. So we're up to question two now.

Can we just have a score check? Yeah, quick score check. Quick score check. The house is on two points. Okay. Jess, you're on no points. Okay. Dave, also on no points.

All right. Equals second. That's pretty good, right? But if we add our scores together, surely we beat the house. Surely. That's true. Or you could multiply them. Yeah, zero squared.

Yeah. Take that house. Damn it. Fuck you, house. Fuck you, house. I'm going to burn down your house. All right. So question number two comes from Nathan Bauer

from York in the UK. The question is, in Star Wars Episode I, The Phantom Menace. I'll take this. A female Yoda can be seen on the Jedi Council, but what is her name? So in Star Wars Episode I, The Phantom Menace, there's a female Yoda, which of course is Yoda with a long hair wig. Yep. Yep.

What is her name? Jedi Council person. Female Yoda. Female Yoda. Got it. While you're writing your answers out, I can tell people a little bit more about Psycho-Pomp. So classic Psycho-Pomps include the Egyptian god Anubis.

Anubis. Anubis, thank you. Or Greek ferryman Charon. Charon. Who we've had on this very show before. Yeah, what? Or one of our podcasts we talked about. Charon.

Charon, yeah, and we said it wrong then. Sharon. Sharon, that's right. We yelled Sharon. Ah, yes. But that's fun. Also Roman god Mercury and the Norse Valkyries, but they appear in many different cultures in many different guises,

such as anthropomorphic entities, horses, deers, dogs, whip-paw, wills, ravens, crows, vultures, owls, sparrows, and cuckoos. When seen as birds, they are often seen in huge masses waiting outside the home of the dying. Yeah, right. That's what a psychopomp is. So I've heard of that. You know, I think Charon.

Charon was in a recent Marvel series. Is that the hippo? I think it's the hippo from Moon Knight. I reckon this is exactly the conversation we had last time. And then we just yelled Charon a few times. Charon. All right. So the answers are in for question number two.

In Star Wars Episode One, the Phantom Menace, in a few times. Go on. All right, so the answers are in for question number two. In Star Wars Episode I, the Phantom Menace, a female Yoda can be seen on the Jedi Council, but what was her name? Oh, fuck. I just thought of a better one. Anyway, keep going. It's not too late.

No, it's fine. We've all thought of better ones. I'll tell you later. Okay, great. All right, here are your five options. Nog stinkly. Yodel whoop. Yaddle. Yodelina.

Or ba-ba-bonks. Oh, tough. Nog stinkly. Yodel whoop. Yaddle. Yodelina. Or ba-ba-bonks. How did you keep a straight face through any of those?

They're all batshit. First one again. Nog Stinkley. Yeah, I don't think it's Nog Stinkley. It genuinely could be any of the others. It could be. It could be Nog Stinkley. It could be Nog Stinkley, honestly.

But I've obviously got an advantage here because for my ninth birthday, I was given a Darth Maul hat at my ninth birthday party. keep that on yeah yeah i had a psycho pump um but my favorite character was of course nog stinkley and i was disappointed when i unwrapped the hat and it had a picture of darth instead of nog that is upsetting and uh the evil version darth nog stinkley now that that's where it's at okay so d Dave's saying you're locking that one in? Oh, no. No. Can I hear them again?

Yep. Nog Stinkley. Thank you. Yodel Whoop, Yaddle, Yodelina, or Bar Bar Bonks. I'm going to go Yaddle. Yaddle for bot. I love Nog Stinkley and I love Bar Bar Bonks so much. I'm going to say Nog Stinkley.

Okay, yep. Yeah, it's great. It is good. If it's not right, then it's not right. You know what I mean? Because if we told, like it had been another character, what's this character called? And it shows you a picture of Jar Jar Binks and Matt read that out.

We'd all be laughing. Of course. That's the stupidest name ever. I know, which is why Bar Bar Bonks. Bar Bar Bonks. Jar Jar Binks and Matt read that out, we'd all be laughing. Of course. That's the stupidest name I've ever heard. I know, which is why Ba Ba Bonks. Ba Ba Bonks. Jar Jar Binks, Ba Ba Bonks. So you're locking in Nog Stinkley. Nog Stinkley.

Okay. I want to believe. All right, let's go through the answers. Yodel Whoop. That was Dave Warnock. It's actually pronounced Yodel Whoop. Oh, no. Sorry.

That would have changed everything. That would have changed everything that would change everything okay do you want a pity point for that sure i'm allowed a pity point for that don't give a pity point you also said my last answer in a weird intonation and i didn't i didn't get a point for that no that's true i mean it's not how i would have delivered that oh can i have a people but the house will have no pity points no one pities no pity for the house all right i'll give you each a pity point thank you yoda whoop sorry that's how when i celebrate that's what i say and and mine would have been my ex-wife oh yeah yeah yeah my ex-wife is essentially what he was doing. Was I? I apologise.

Yodelina, that was Jess Perkins. That's funny. But what was the funnier one? Yodelay hee-hoo. Would have been way better. Baba Bonks was the house. Boo. Nog Stinkley, also the house.

No, come on. Yaddle was correct. Jess Perkins gets a point. Her name is Yaddle. That was a total guess because they all sounded fucking ridiculous. So plus your pity point, you get two points that round. Yes. No, your pity point should have been round one. But you are on two points.

Two points. Dave, now with a pity point, is on one. I feel like it shouldn't have an asterisk next to it. It should just be a point. Okay, but we all know. It's a PP point. A PP point. A point. Okay, but we all know. It's a pee-pee point. A pee-pee point. A pee-pee.

Okay. What's the second P for? It's point, but it's a bit like ATM machine, you know. Pee-pee point. Yeah. And then I'm one of those people that's like, actually. Yeah, exactly. And that's why you get a pity point.

I learned recently that the B in Humphrey B Bear stands for bear. Oh, that's good. Humphrey Bear Bear. Bear Bear. Bit, that's good. Humphrey Bear Bear. Bear Bear. Bit of fun. All right, so quick score update. Dave on one pity point with an asterisk next week. Sorry, is that what you asked me to do?

Is that what you want? Yes. Yeah, that's exactly right. Great. I want the people to know. Dave, sorry, here we go. Dave on one very special boy point. Thank you.

That's what I want it to be called. The VSBP. Jess is on two points, both legitimate. But out in front is the house on three points. Nothing legitimate about the house. But we could combine our skills and take down the house. Combine our points? Yeah, let's do it.

Okay. Are you happy to take on my VSBP point? Yeah, but we've got to work together in the next round okay okay great so we're up to the final round and on this show we love to finish with a movie synopsis and this question comes from harris dava from the fortress of the moles oh uh in brackets not that one the other one oh okay then thank god oh phew might be one, the other one. Oh, okay then. Thank God. Phew. Might be one of the friendly ones. Yeah, that first one.

Not a good place. So your question is, your final question, and you each got two points up for grabs. So this is anyone's game. Yeah, but we're going to work together. So I reckon, Dave, just make it really obvious that it's you writing it. That's right. Movie plot.

Fake. Fake movie. And then that will narrow down what we're fake movie and then that will that will narrow down what we're choosing from and then we can take on the house okay dave you might lose your pity point if you play those but but that's outside the screen to a real point yeah so your question is i'm ready a bb point what is the synopsis of the 1999 film the straight story what is the synopsis of the 1999 film The Straight Story? What is the synopsis of the 1999 film The Straight Story? While you're writing your answers, I will let the audience know a little bit more about Yaddle.

According to Nathan, the question writer, after 40 years of history in the Star Wars universe, Yoda is one of the few characters, if not the only character, not to have his species named. It is still one of the big mysteries of the franchise. Dave, is that enough to get you in? I know you don't love Star Wars as much as you did as a kid. Yeah.

Is that the kind of thing that will get you back in, the mystery of Yoda's species? Yes. Maybe they could do a Disney Plus series dedicated to that. I'm in. I feel like they're going to explore every character, aren't they? They're going to just wring that thing completely dry. If not, why not?

According to the Star Wars fandom page, Yaddle, a force-sensitive female being of the same species as Grandmaster Yoda and Grogu, was a Jedi Master and member of the Jedi High Council during the last years of the Galactic Republic. She trained a Thispian Padawan, Opo Rancisis. I mean, you know, sort of this goes to what we were talking about before.

Who eventually joined Yaddle on the High Council by the time of the invasion of Naboo. In 32 BBY, Qui-Gon Jinn brought the Chosen One, Anakin Skywalker, to the Jedi Council on Coruscant. I'm so sorry, Star Wars fans. They are screaming at me. And I've watched every live-action Star Wars thing. I'm watching the current one, Anne Boleyn or whatever it's called.

It's not that. Oh, fuck. My apology is only going to offend them more. But I've seen them all. I haven't seen the cartoons. We've seen it. But, yeah, I'm not good with pronouncing words. It's good because you talk for a living.

Yeah. It's good because you talk for a living. Yeah. So, yeah. So, Qui-Gon Jinn brought Anakin Skywalker to Coruscant where he met Yaddle. Sorry, what did you call me? Oh, dear. And the Jedi elders. After the Battle of Naboo, Yaddle took a less active role in the Jedi

Order's affairs and was no longer on the High Council by the time of the Clone Wars. the Jedi orders affairs and was no longer on the high council by the time of the clone wars. In 14 BBY, Yaddle was remembered and mentioned by name by the later pilot, Grease Drittus, who Grease Nuttus, Deez Nuttus.

That's good. You should have a character or whatever. And Grease speculated on her fate during the great Jedi purge with his Jedi associates. In 12 BBY, the Sith Lord Darth Vader encountered apparitions of several Jedi, including Yaddle, while experiencing a series of Force visions. I'm guessing the B, Jess, have you watched any Star Wars?

This is BBY. I'm guessing it's sort of the same as BCE or whatever. Oh, I have no idea. But it would stand for something like before, before Yaddle. Yeah. Sort of like ATM they've added there. Exactly, yeah, yeah. You don't need to say the Yaddle.

Actually, can you tell Dave to hurry up? I've put mine in, but I've accidentally. Oh, what are you tippied tapping away on then? What are you tippied tapping away on then? Because I hit enter before I wanted to, so. Oh. So, are you just starting again? I don't think I can.

Yeah. So then what are you doing? Seeing if I can start again. What are you hacking into the mainframe? What are you doing over there? I'm good. Don't worry about it. I'm very worried about it.

Maybe I can put it. Can I try again? I think you can, yeah. God, here we go. It's over. Don't worry. Let's just go put it. Can I try again? I think you can, yeah. God, here we go. It's over. Don't worry. Let's just go with it. As women, our life stages come with unique risk factors.

Like when our estrogen levels drop during menopause, causing the risk of heart disease to go up. Know your risks. Visit heartandstroke.ca. All right, all the answers are in. Dave was not able to get into the mainframe yet. Like just before, you have to stick with your first answer here. Yeah, you can't change it to Yodelayheehoo.

Damn. So Matt did say you did have a chance to change it. You just decided not to. I just started laughing again thinking about my ex-wife. My ex-wife. It's funny. It's good stuff. All right. Here are your five possible answers for the synopsis of the 1999 film

The Straight Story. Here we go. for the synopsis of the 1999 film The Straight Story. Here we go. Okay. A slow TV movie following a journey from Adelaide to Darwin as the crow flies. A man in his 70s goes on a road trip from Iowa to Wisconsin to see his estranged brother using only his ride-on mower.

A disgraced PI and no-nonsense journalist team up to investigate the murder of a nightclub singer. They have to sift through the lies and muck in order to get the straight story. In brackets, the story. Do they say that in the movie? I hope so. I'm just trying to get to the straight story here. Wink.

At the height of the Y2K crisis, Dr. Chris Carter yells out, hey, Dave, that's not a real movie synopsis. That's my ex-wife. What was the doctor's name? Chris Carter. Wow. From the X-Files. Incredible.

Yeah. I guess, yeah. So it was sort of based on a true story. That's not my usual. Okay. I mean, we're trying to show the listeners how the show works and I think someone here isn't taking it that seriously. I'm trying very hard.

So, Dave, lift your game, please. It's a little bit embarrassing that you're saying that someone's not taking it seriously. They are beating me. Two to one. Wait, what do you mean saying that someone's not taking it seriously. They are beating me. Two to one. Wait, what do you mean? The house isn't taking it seriously. Well, that's very inappropriate.

Finally, six boys are arrested for stealing the class cat, each with their own version of events. Can the cops ever get to the bottom of the straight story? Do I say that to the camera? These all sound so good. Love them all. I'd watch them all. Can we hear them one more time really quickly, Matt? When I get back to Hollywood, sit behind my desk, if I

see any of these scripts land there, I'm green lighting them straight up. Right. Alright, so here are the options. Straight story up. Yes. A slow TV movie following a journey from Adelaide to Darwin as the crow flies. No. Potentially early for a, I don't know when slow TV came.

What year did this come out? 99. A man in his 70s goes on a road trip from Iowa to Wisconsin to see his estranged brother using only his ride-on mower. A disgraced PI and a no-nonsense journalist team up to investigate the murder of a nightclub singer. They have to sift through the lies and the muck in order to get the straight story in brackets, the story straight.

At the height of the Y2K crisis, Dr. Chris Carter yells out, Hey, Dave, that's not the real movie synopsis. That's my ex-wife. That sounds compelling. Y2K, that was very relevant in 1999. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Or six boys are arrested for stealing the class cat. Each with their own version of events.

Can the cops ever get to the bottom of the straight story? So, Dave, I'm obviously pretty disappointed in you in that I said let's work together and then you did nothing to help me. It's pretty obvious which one's mine. I don't think it is because they all sound dumb. Also, if you were trying to rig it, you'd want to guess the other person's, right? Why?

Oh, to give you a point. Yeah. Oh, yeah, but I have the best chance of beating the house. Yes, right. So, yeah, for you to get maximum points, you've got to get the right answer and you want Dave to pick yours. Sorry, Jess, I am a lone wolf. All right.

And I'm playing the team. Have fun then. Sorry, I've just turned you guys against each other. Have you? I guess we'll never get to the bottom of the straight story. The hunter has become the prey. Dave, what do you think? Do you want to talk us through the board here?

Talking through the board, I wish I could. That's what they always say. Wish I could. First one, I feel like, yeah, a little bit early for slow TV maybe. The ride on Moa, that's really, that's got my attention. Yeah. As does my ex-wife. She's got your attention.

Yeah, yeah yeah yeah she will not stop calling and i will not stop not answering and and then we had the two that uh referenced the name of the movie yeah that's who that referenced the movie which i know you and i are big fans of i love when they do that yes you're a fan of that love it and they do it even when they do it in the imdb plot that that's the pi thing that sounds like it could be a movie you know disgrace pi and no nonsense journalist i mean that's um i'm loving it early who are we casting in that um i'm gonna go the mower right on mower right on mower for day straight story i wanted to do right on mower you can there's no there's no reason why you can't maybe i'll do the journalist and the pi so one

of the ones that references the movie title? Yeah. Because if you get- What? If I what? Well, you know, it's just up to you. Just try and pick the right one. But like I tried-

I'll read it out again and if you want to get it still, lock it in. A disgraced PI and no-nonsense journalist team up to investigate the murder of a nightclub singer Yeah They have to sift through the lies and the muck Yeah In order to get dot dot dot The straight story In brackets

The story straight Yep That's what I'm going with Okay Why are you laughing? I don't know Alright Well then

Which one do you think I should pick? They had me until the brackets Alright Let's Does IMDB do that? Well, no, these aren't necessarily from IMDb. Me and the house, we- You watch the movie.

We rewrite. We, you know, we write it in our own words, basically. All right. So here are who wrote the answers. The story about the cats, that was Dave Vornike. There was one about cats? Yeah, six students. Oh, yeah, Yeah, six students take the class cat. I think I believe that one as well until the,

can the cops ever get to the bottom of the straight story? It doesn't make any sense. Neither does the title of the movie at all. How could it make sense? How could it make sense for any of these? At the height of the Y2K crisis, Dr. Chris Carter yells out, hey, Dave, that's not a real movie synopsis. That's my ex-wife.

That was Jess Perkins. What? Yeah, that Dave in it was for you specifically. Holy fuck. I thought about writing Dave Warnicke, but I thought, no, he'll get it. I did not get that. Wow. There's a lot of Daves out there.

You've got to be specific. That's true. There's a lot of Dave Warnicke's out there. I'm not going to assume it's me, but my date of birth in brackets. I might pin them. Yeah. What do you know? A slow TV movie following a journey from Adelaide to Darwin

as a crow flies. That was The House. Boo. As was a disgraced PI and no-nonsense journalist teaming up to investigate. That was also The House, meaning the correct answer was a man in his 70s goes on a road trip from Iowa to Wisconsin to see his estranged brother using only his ride-on mower.

So. And why is it called The Straight Story? Will you answer that? Or we'll never know? I've got a, I'll, yeah, it's biographed famous auteur, surprisingly, David Lynch. Oh, really? There you go.

I'll read a quick review synopsis in a second. These movies are famously difficult to write down what is going on. Yeah. So the score update is Jess on two points, Dave on two points, but out in front it's the house on four points. Wow. But if we combine our scores we equal the house yeah scores level you said not moments ago i'm a lone wolf no no no

you misinterpreted my tone when i say a lone wolf that means i love being with you no you don't fuck off what do you keep your two measly little points. One of each was a pity point. Can I just say, if the house were to team up with me right now, we would crush Jess Perkins. Are you willing to do it, house? Will you take me in? I mean, I've already given you a pity point.

Leave him on the freaking porch. Oh, go on. Let me in. No. I want to win. Stay outside, you dog. Fuck. Can we do the next four questions as usual?

I reckon I'm getting the hang of this. Well, that's the thing. Three questions isn't enough. This is a little taster. But, yeah, the other episodes, episode one you were both on and that one went down to the wire from memory. Great fun. I really enjoy making this show.

Now, the film A Straight Story has got a 95% approval rate on Rotten Tomatoes. Scott Tobias of AV Club wrote, with his sweet lyrical masterpiece, David Lynch frees himself from the heavy irony and noir affectations of his last few films, discovering the pure mythical slice of Americana previously confined to Agent Cooper's coffee and donuts

in Twin Peaks. That sounds good. Scott Tobias loved it. All right. Yeah, so where can people find you two? Yeah, but you can find us on the Do Go On podcast, which you're listening to right now, and, I don't know, Instagram. It's 2022.

Freaking Google me. Please. Please, for the love of God. And Dave's the same. It's 2022. Yeah. Freaking Google me. Please. Please, for the love of God. And Dave's the same. You can also Google him. Absolutely. I'd love to be Googled.

I'd love to Google. Thanks so much for listening. Please check out the rest of the show. There's some great episodes up there. And as it's a new show, all your support would be fantastically appreciated. Give us a review if you want. Five stars, ideally. The minimum. What's it out of? Five want. Five stars, ideally. The minimum.

What's it out of? Five. I don't think that's the minimum. What do you mean? Anyway. Yeah, so I'm saying like if you're thinking, I'll give him a four star, fuck off. Shove that four star up your ass.

And find another star up there. Find another star. Pull it out. It's five or nothing. That's all I'm saying. God, you two are very literal, aren't you? Thanks, everyone, for joining us. And as we always say here at Who Knew It with Matt Stewart, bye, dog stinkly.

Finally, it makes sense. Bye, dog stinkly. You hate it every second of that. Try it again, but commit to it. Goodbye, dog stinkly. of that. Try it again, but commit to it. Goodbye, Nog Stinkley. Do that. Thanks for joining us and goodbye, Nog Stinkley. Here we go.

If you just pause for a second, you can hear the fire crackling in the background here. What's that sound like? I don't know why I pointed to the fire and asked what it sounds like. There it is. That's exactly the fire falling in the background. That's a log falling. Ow, my toe.

At your butt. A log falling at my butt. It just shat on my toe and it hurt. Matt, come on. No, that was uncouth. Not in this setting. This is a classy place. This is classy.

We've got marshmallows, but we've also got champagne. The marshmallows were imported. From the champagne region. They are not known for their marshmallows. They are not very good. They're awful. Rock hard. The champagne from the marshmallow region is fantastic.

Very sweet. I'd like to tell you about a picture. I did it last night. Let me describe it. It's a horse. It, I did it last night. Let me describe it. It's a horse. It's brown. That's sick. Anything in the background?

No, I haven't got there yet. Yeah, cool. Brown horse. I'm open to suggestions. Brown horse. So just imagine that. Who Knew It with Matt Stewart. The newest podcast in the Do Go On Media world.

Maybe just the world. I don't know if any podcasts have been invented in the last few months Media world. Maybe just the world. I don't know if any podcasts have been invented in the last few months. I don't think so. No, I don't think so. Unlikely. None that I've heard of or listened to. We would have heard of them. We would have heard of them.

I've got a Google alert for new podcasts. The word podcast. Yeah. My email, I get a billion a day. It is exhausting. I'm ready to do that. Are you ready to do the intro? Okay, thank goodness.

This is a very exciting time. I might even put the theme in. Okay. It only goes for eight seconds. Yeah, go on. Evan Munro-Smith made it and it is fantastic. Let's do that here then. He did it as like his...

Oh, okay, not there then. We'll do it in the next gap. Do you want to do it here? Oh, no. It's just the first draft. And I'm like, well, forget any second drafts. Yeah. Well, let's put that first draft in here.

Let's skip to the third draft. Okay. Let's stop mucking around and waste everyone's time. I'm having fun. Oh, no, you want to throw to the song? Yeah, cool. Here's the theme song. Music