Who Knew It with Matt Stewart - 7 - Jackson Baly, Joel Zammit and Joel Duscher (Plumbing the Death Star)

Episode Date: October 24, 2022

Who Knew It with Matt Stewart is a new comedy game show podcast hosted by Australian comedian Matt Stewart. The seventh episode features guests from the Plumbing the Death Star podcast, Jackson Baly, Joel Zammit and Joel Duscher!Check out Matt's stand up special FREE on YouTube: https://youtu.be/cWStRpI-BhESupport the show via http://patreon.com/dogoonpod and you can submit questions for the show!See the show live, get tickets via: https://www.mattstewartcomedy.com/Check out Matt's podcast network: https://dogoonpod.com/Check out Plumbing the Death Star and the rest of Jackson, Duscher and Zammit's' podcast network: https://www.sanspantsradio.com/Theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and Logo by @muzdoodles! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Oh my God, can you believe it? It's the year 2024. It's Melbourne Comedy Festival and we've just moved venues. We're at the Grace Darling now. We had a great run at the Chinese Museum, selling out shows by the end, but now we need you to come over to the Grace Darling and shows are at 7.15. It's going to be so much fun. Love to see you there. Let's have a beer. Use discount code do go on the show's called dry dry at the melbourne international comedy festival then we're going to sydney and brisbane tickets to all that stuff's on sale now and you can find those tickets and details at mattstuartcomedy.com welcome to who knew with matt stewart the show where the guests write the wrong answers. I'm the titular Matt Stewart, and this week I'm joined by the boys from the Plumbing the Death Star podcast. Please welcome, who am I talking to? Joel Zammett, Joel Doucher, and Jackson Bailey. Hey, here we are. I'd just like to say I'm ready to demolish the competition. I'm not here to make friends.

I'm not here to have a good time or make you laugh, audience. I'm here to win. I thought this was teamwork. Oh, Joel Zavid, you're in trouble. If you're a big fan of Plumbing the Death Star, this is the episode where it all falls apart. And this will actually serve as a finale to our podcast. Absolutely.

If you're listening to this, it's been 10 years since this episode's come out and you're like, what went wrong? You can trace it back to this episode right here, right now. We all have the fragilest of egos. And our friendship, hanging on by a thread. Just one shove. A tiny bit of

competition. I'm going to treat this as a try not to laugh challenge. So that you guys don't get any confidence from any chuckles coming my way. I'm just going to rely on my brilliant intellect to win this one. And maybe for some context for this. Good luck friends. This is the,

the third podcast we've just recorded back to back. So if you want to hear the day as it, as the four of us crumble, you can listen to first thumb cramps. No, yes. Wrong. Wrong.

So we recorded plumbing the death stuff first. Yeah. Then we did thumb cramps. Now we're doing who knew it with Matt Stewart. So that's not the chronological order. Wrong. So, we recorded Plumbing the Death Star first, eh? Then we did Thumb Cramps. Now we're doing Who Knew It with Matt Stewart. So, that's not the chronological order they got released, but that is the listening order. No, that's the listening order. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

For the purists. That's the machete. Yeah. For the audiophiles. Yeah, yeah, yeah. For those who don't know the show, it's pretty simple, okay? I ask a relatively obscure trivia question, and our contestants have to write a convincing fake answer.

I then read their answers as well as the real one. Then they guess which one they think is correct. Okay. All right. Ready to play. I'm prepared. We're ready. All right.

Here's question one. And it comes from Locky2s. It took a while there because in brackets after his name, he wrote a phonetic spell oh I see including how to pronounce Lockie oh yeah

that's nice we never know how would you like Louchy Louchy I guess L-A-C-H it's like

Lach I think Lachy Lachy Lachy I'm not the best pronunciator yeah

fair enough so that maybe it's not patronising maybe it's not patronizing. Maybe it's fair. I think I was like maybe in my twenties when I realized that there was actually like, like, uh,

like Sean and like scene scene is not a name. That's also Sean. Yes. That's fair enough. That is insane. So Lockie twos comes from Sydney's Northern beaches. And his question is, what does the name Lego translate to in English?

What does the name Lego translate to in English? So you've got to give us a fake answer. And while you're writing those down, I'll explain how the scoring works. So you get one point if your fake answer is guessed by the other contestant and another point if you correctly guessed the answer. By the way, I'm also playing as the house. i've put in two of my own fake answers for each question

and i get a point for each one of these that our guests choose a lot of these fake answers were written by the question writer as well the house is a collective okay many people do a house yeah i'm the house but i'm not really pulling my own weight. If the house was a share house, I'm getting a lot of notes. There's notes being left around. Do you mind doing the dishes a bit more, mate? Yeah, like paying the rent on time, but doing nothing else is not quite the band.

Yeah, you need to do just a touch more. But I guess I am the house, I'm the walls and the roof. Yeah, so actually the house doesn't pay rent. It's rent paid in it. You'm the walls and the roof. I'm keeping the weather in. The house doesn't pay rent. It gets rent paid in it. You're the house and maybe the question, right, a lucky twos is the contents. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Home of contents.

So I also can get two points because I've got two fake answers. And I've heard if the house wins, the podcast loses. Hang on, no. Because normally only two contestants. There's actually three points up for grabs. Oh my god! Because if each of you pick one of my fake answers, I get three points. Oh no! If you get the correct answer and the other two pick yours, you get three.

That's right. So we can all get three points. Is this the first ever three person? It's the second ever. Episode seven and it's the second ever. This is a world record because it's the first ever sequel to a three-person episode. Yeah, that's true.

Put us in the Guinness Book. So we can all get three points per round, but the probability does favour the house, of course. The house always wins. Although the house doesn't always win. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The questions come from our great Patreon supporters. If you want to submit a question,

sign up on any level via patreon.com. Which is linked in the show notes. All right. The question is, what does the name Lego translate to in English? Here are your six options. Okay. It was so many. Big tiny brick.

Okay. Play well. Fantastic plastic. Small construction. Children's pleasure, or bumps. Four. That is tricky.

Bumps is great. I pick play well. I don't know why. It just feels right. Play well is what I'm going for. The second one is play well? Yeah, I'm going with play well. I'm picking play well.

And Jackson are both locking in play well. Okay. If I also go play well, and this is a house's choice, it's going to be very hard for us to come back and win this. Three buffoons lose to the house once again. You know what? I'm going to go bumps.

Okay. I don't know if I'm meant to riff longer. I don't care. No, no. What am I answering? This is great. You can imagine someone saying Lego. You see a kid playing and you're like, hey, Lego.

Bumps. If it is like children pleasure, I will ride it. I love children pleasure. It's my favorite toy. An insane, dangerous thing to say. All right. Here are who wrote the answers. Firstly, we had a big, tiny brick that was written by Zamet.

Okay. It was too long. That's how I knew that was fake. Too long. It's like a seven. I can't count, but that's like 12 letters. Yeah. Too long. But's like a seven. I can't count, but that's like 12 letters. Yeah. Too long.

But like goes one word. You've just locked in an answer that is also multiple words. Well, yeah. Yeah, you piece of shit. No, but there's a reason for that. And we'll get to it when we get to my answer. I have realized what I've done here and I'm furious with myself. Fantastic plastic.

That was written by the house. Nice. Fantastic plastic. That was written by The House. Nice. Small construction. That was written by Dusha. Nice. Nice try. Children's Pleasure, also written by The House. Bumps was written by Jackson.

Jackson fucking Bailey. God damn it. Bumps. What are you, an idiot? I picked the least funny answer because I thought that would be factual. Gotcha. Meaning, Play well is correct, giving two points to Jackson,

one point to Zamit. No points to Doucher or the house. Is that the smell of an early lead? I'm going to take off my shoe and hit you with it. So a quick score check. We are going to fall apart. Score check after round number one. Dutcher in the house on zero points.

Fuck! Zamed in second place on one point, but out in front on two points, it is Jackson Bailey. Jackson will fuck this up, so that's all right. The house is the biggest threat. Feels good. Yeah, I know.

I'm going to cook this, guaranteed. I'm going to do like a misspelling of my next answer and Matt will read it out as written and it'll all be downhill from there. So that brings us to question number two. This one comes from Will Hancock from Kentucky. Oh, great name, Will Hancock. Awesome.

We're big Hancock heads. Yeah, we love Hancock and the film. The film, yeah. Will's question is, what is a true fact about the US state of Wisconsin? So we've got to come up with a fake fact about the state of Wisconsin. While you're writing your answers,

here's some more info on the word Lego. According to our question writer, Locky or Locci, I forget how to pronounce it. The Lego group was founded in 1932 by Ollie Kirk Christensen. I did a full episode of Do Go On about this, by the way, and found out that at least Dusha didn't listen to it.

The company has passed from father to son and is now owned by Kjeld Kirk Christensen, a grandchild of the founder. Now, I like that Lockie gave me the phonetic spelling of Lockie, but not the name K-J-E-L-D. The name Lego is an abbreviation of two Danish words, leg and got, meaning play well. So that's where the name comes from. Sent my answer across.

I'm sorry, Matt, I wasn't. I feel like I need to say it. I feel like I need to let everyone know I've put my answer in the bag. Yeah, yeah. I did it as well, but I did it before Jackson. Yeah, Xamarin didn't announce it. I don't know why I feel like I need to, but I do.

Dush is still thinking. Dush is still thinking. He's going to get us. Yeah, he's going to get us. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Either his is going to be- What do I know about Wisconsin? Was the 70s show set in Wisconsin?

Yeah, I reckon it doesn't at the end. He says, hello, Wisconsin. Yeah, he does too doesn't at the end, he says, hello, Wisconsin. Yeah, he does too. Is that the, is that the fact? Yeah, that's the fact. Well, I know what I'm answering. I've said too much. The big star song.

That's it. All right. Yeah, what's the song? Anyway, that's all, yeah, that's the fact. That's all. Okay, that seems more like a song to me than a fact, but I'm no genius. Yeah, I mean. Well, you are.

I am no genius, yeah. All right, so the question is, what is a true fact about the US state of Wisconsin? Here are your six options. Okay. They produce none of their own dairy products and instead import it from neighboring states. Okay.

Seven of the 10 drunkest US cities are all located there. Each Christmas, they have a Grinch festival culminating in a big bonfire of Christmas trees and decorations. I guess Jackson wrote that one. The largest interstate exporter of cottage cheese. It's a couple of very good.

Yes, that is quite the opposite. Literally opposite of the first one. There are more people aged over 85 than under Yes, that is quite the opposite of the first one. Literally opposite of the first one. Interesting. There are more people aged over 85 than under 10 years old. Or it is the only state in the US that has a higher concentration of bass than humans. These are all so potentially true. Oh, I'm so nervous. Do you need to hear them again?

Yeah, give them to us. They produce none of their own dairy products and instead import it from neighboring states. Seven of the 10 drunkest US cities are all located there. Okay. Each Christmas, they have a Grinch festival culminating in a big bonfire of Christmas trees and decorations. They're the largest interstate exporter of cottage cheese. There are more people aged over 85 than under 10 years old,

or it is the only state in the US that has a higher concentration of bass than humans. Okay, I'm going out on a limb and I'm so scared, but I think I'm gonna go that there are more people over the age of, what was it, 70? 85. 85. Yeah, more people over the age of 85 than under 10.

I'm going for that. Okay. The more I think about it, the more I write that almost instantly. I'm gonna go with the first one. They don't produce cheese. They imported it. Okay. Wisconsin seems cold.

Yeah, it doesn't seem like a cheese state. You can't grow cheese in wet, can you? You can't grow cheese in the rain. That seems insane. So the bass one feels- Cause fish love the sea. But fish love sea. Is bass fresh or salt? It's freshwater. A bass is a freshwater fish. Is that true? feels like the sea, but fish love sea is best fresh

or so it's freshwater. A bass is a freshwater fish. Is that true? This is all got this terrible is a part like the group, but also individually. I think I'm going to lock in. Cause I know it is a cold state. I'm going to lock in at seven of the 10 drunkest cities.

Okay. That seems like a good choice. I'm like, oh, so we'll do the Christmas one. Coldest side on other drunk. Yeah. The drunkest one. It'm like, oh, so we'll do the Christmas one. Coldest state. Oh, no, the drunkest. Yeah, the drunkest one. It just seems like, I don't know, it feels weird if they were to, you know, burn on a Christmas tree. Yeah, see, I agree. I was almost on board with the Grinch one, but then I was like, took it

too far. Yeah, right. You're not burning the Christmas trees because you need them. That means the Grinch one's not you because you're trying to talk him out of saying it. No, I don't care what he picks. And all the answers are already locked in. Exactly. Oh, yeah, we've all locked everything in. Here's who gave the answers. The higher concentration of bats than humans, that was Dusha.

And it was bass, not bass, right? It was bass, yeah. And I had a little sweat as I was reading through that. Then we had the Grinch Festival, which was overwritten. That was the house. Wait. Uh-oh. What else do we have?

Oh, God. I don't know why this show just stresses me to no end. The largest interstate exporter of cottage cheese, that was Zamet. And is that why you went for the opposite? I know Wisconsin is something to do with cheese. Oh, that's right. The Green Bay Packers are the cheese heads. Yeah.

Okay. So it seems silly to pick the one that has nothing to do with cheese. Damn it. Well, yeah. But then again, like, well, but maybe they love cheese so much they import it. We'll see. We'll see. So the largest interstate exporter of cottage cheese

I've said that already Zamit there are more people aged over 85 than under 10 years old that was the house oh no one point to the house

there that means one of us has given a point to Jackson one of us got it right I looked that up as well and I think it's sort of like under 10 is about 10 times the amount

of people that the moment I said it I was like 85 is so old. And shout out to all our 85 plus listeners. Enjoy your last moments on Earth. I hope this doesn't kill you. They produce none of their own dairy products,

which is what Zamit went for. That was Jackson's. Oh yeah, how sweet it is. A point to Jackson. And the correct answer was what Dusha went for. Seven out of 10 drunkest US cities are all located there. Nicely done. Nicely done.

Thank you. So that means one point for Jackson, one point for Dusha, one point for the house. You'd think, see, if I know- So now we're all equal lost. Yeah. Except you.

Yeah, and the thing is, right- You could fuck this up in any moment. Well, see, that's the thing. If it was any of you in power right now, I think you'd be loving it. You'd be smug as hell. Yeah. You'd be riding the wave. I'm was any of you in power right now, I think you'd be loving it. You'd be smug as hell. You'd be riding the wave. I'm not meant to be in power.

It's bad for me to be here. I feel the same. Whenever the house is leading, I feel uncomfortable. Yeah. I'm loving it. I need to lose some points. Well, I can just pick some of my answers. Okay.

All right. I will. Next time I'll pick your answer. I'll write some clever ones. Yeah. Okay. All right. So this quick score update is Dusha, Zamit, and The House on one point,

but Jackson out in front on three points. Oh, that's bad. We're moving on to question number three. And this one comes from David Kingfisher from Norwich. Oh, my God. In the UK. Incredible name. Your listeners all have made up names.

Yeah. I thought this might just be a podcast or something, but all the Do Go On podcasts have the best listener names. Our patrons are just always amazingly named. Yeah. They're all hot as well. Oh, amazingly named.

Yeah. No, I was like, Johnny fuck suck. Susie piss pants. Yeah. All right. So question number three from David Kingfisher is,

what was the monster-themed nickname of Utah jazz basketballer Daryl Griffith? Okay. What was the monster-themed nickname of Utah jazz basketballer Daryl Griffith? While you're writing your answers, I'll let the audience know a little bit more about Wisconsin's drinking problem. According to World Population Review, bit more about wisconsin's drinking problem according to world population review millions of americans enjoy alcohol responsibly however it is also misused and abused every day by many approximately 18 of american adults regularly consume too much alcohol and the rates are higher in some cities. 24-7 Wall Street reviewed the excessive drinking rates in 381 metro areas in the United States,

and they identified the 20 most drunken cities. Here are the top six. Yep. To show you where Wisconsin sits. Green Bay, Wisconsin, number one. Number two, Eau Claire, Wisconsin. Number three, Appleton, Wisconsin. Number four, Madison, Wisconsin.

Number five, Fargo in Nevada. Yeah. Slash Minnesota. And six, Oshkoshnina, Wisconsin. What? I reckon Oshkoshnina may have even been named after a couple of drinks. Yeah. Is Fargo close to Wisconsin?

Yeah. Are they nearby? Yeah. Well, yeah. That's a weird outlier. It feels like they should all be Wisconsin. Must be, I don't know. Who's the American file here?

Yeah, none of us. I don't even know what a fucking map looks like. That's a weird picture in the gallery. Who's this? Who's this guy? Yeah. Is that a self-portrait? What?

Okay. I'm nervous about my answer here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Has anyone ever accidentally in a riff gotten an answer very close to the real answer? I think it has happened, yeah. Okay. No world records today. Do you think you've done it? No. Okay. You know you've gotten it wrong.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. When you hear Johnny Pierce, that one's not me and you should pick it. Man, I wish one of you said that. How's that monster thing? Monster thing, you know? The mythical Johnny Pierce?

Of course. Yeah. I would have been so, I mean, can I tell you that that is, that would be within the spirit of the game to throw it in a throw like that. Throw in a Johnny Pierce. And I would also, I mean, can I tell you that that is, that would be within the spirit of the game to throw an answer like that. Throw in a Johnny Pierce. And I would also, I mean,

as I've found over the first few months of doing this show, there's no, no matter how stupid your answer is, there's someone who wants to pick it. Yeah, of course. Well, you get sucked in. Yeah, because like Johnny Pierce. Yeah, like, well, that's a good name. I'm the hero that lost the game

because I voted one Johnny Pierce. Yeah, exactly. I'm the guy who, Johnny Pierce. Yeah, like, well- That's a good name. I'm the hero that lost the game because I voted one Johnny Pierce. Yeah, exactly. I'm the guy who thought Johnny Pierce was a reasonable answer. That's stardom. All right, so here are your six options for question number three. What is the monster theme nickname

of Utah Jazz basketball at Darryl Griffith? Now, yeah, it's Halloween coming up, so happy Halloween. Yeah, spooky, happy Halloween. To all those who celebrate. A good skeleton to all of you. Here are your options. The Stone Griffin, Lock Net Monster,

The Big Game Bigfoot, The Griffin, Dr. Duncan Stein, or The Mighty Griffin. There's a lot of simple words in there. Oh my God. Do you need to hear them again? Yeah.

This is somebody little landmines like to... Okay. Okay. Let's hear them. The Stone Griffin. Stone Griffin. He's a basketball, yeah? Basketball, yeah.

Stone Griffin. Stone Griffin. Locknet Monster. Locknet Monster. Okay. The Big Game Bigfoot. That also seems stupid. Stone Griffin, Stone Griffin. Locknet Monster. Locknet Monster. Okay. The Big Game Bigfoot. That also seems stupid. The Griffin.

Dr. Duncan Stein. Great name. Or the Mighty Griffin. Mighty Griffin. Can I hear that? Dushu, you haven't gone first yet. Do you want to talk us through the board here? Okay, so.

You're a sportsman. Do you know this guy? I don't. I'm not a big basketball guy. In fact, I don't think I'm not a big basketball guy. I don't, in fact, don't think I know any basketball's nicknames. I'm familiar with some of their real names. Oh, that's good. Steph Curry.

Yeah, that's really good. Michael Jordan. You don't know the round man of rebound? No, I don't. Sir Charles? My man. I assumed Magic Johnson was a nickname, but maybe that's his real name. Yeah, Magic. It's Magic, yeah. Yeah.

His real name's Irvin or something, I think. It's a magical name. Metta World Peace. Oh, yeah. Best name in basketball. That's a great name. Go through the Griffins. Yeah.

Okay. So there's what? Griffin, Stone Griffin, Mighty Griffin. Mighty Griffin, yeah. And then the other one was Dr. Duncan Stein. Yeah. The big game Bigfoot. Big game Bigfoot. And Locknet Monster. See, I don't know. Yeah. The big game, Bigfoot. Big game, Bigfoot.

And Locknet Monster. See, I don't know. Yeah. Like, first off. Okay. So either all of us have been sucked in. That's what I'm thinking. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's true. Did we all just choose Griffin because we heard Griffin? Or did you choose Griffin? Or did we all pick basketball themed ones because we heard basketball? Because all the basketball ones are dumb. And all the Griffin ones are very close together. That's true. I'm going to pick the big game Bigfoot.

I don't know why, but that feels right. Can I get the question again real quick? What was the monster themed nickname of Utah Jazz basketballer Daryl Griffith? I was hoping there may have been some kind of position in the question that I missed originally.

Like it was like point guard. There's a Bigfoot feel like a monster. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you know what? It's too late. This is, oh no, basketball nicknames are never, oh no. There's always, it won't be Griffin. Like it won't just be Griffin. There's not enough flair to never... Oh, no. It won't be Griffin. It won't just be Griffin.

There's not enough flair to that. Yeah, okay. So... It's not just Griffin, though. It's The Griffin. Yeah, but The Griffin's still not enough. Mighty or Stone definitely make more sense. Right, yep. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

And what were the other two that he hasn't picked? Because not Big Game Bigfoot. You don't think so? Locknet Monster and Dr. Duncan Stein. Oh, you know what? Locknet Monster. I reckon that he's going to end up being like from Locknet. No, from...

One of them famous Scottish... He's a Scottish basketballer. Or he'll just... Yeah. Yeah. Oh, boy, that boy can dunk. Locknet Monster. Let's go.

All right. Let's see here. Okay that monster. Let's go. All right. Let's see here. Okay, okay. See, I don't know. I think those other names seem silly, but I'm also thinking like if, yeah, we all latched onto the Griffin, then we've all probably chosen something with the Griffin.

Yeah. And I'm just wondering, because I feel like- I don't trust that either of you paid enough attention that basketball was the word. Yeah, same. Yeah, yeah. Oh, no.

Jackson's looking at me like he may have remembered basketball. I do sometimes. But then didn't remember the guy's name. That's true. He would have remembered one of the two things. And I'm just thinking, okay, yeah. So you've got like Mighty, Stone, and the Griffin. You're right, it's the Griffin.

But I don't think any of us would have chosen, like chose the Griffin because it's not like- It's pretty basic. It's basic and not stupid enough. That's true. And Stone, what's that got to do with basketball? If he was a poker player, it might be like a stone face, you know, but- Stone walls. That's true. And stone, what's that got to do with basketball?

If he was a poker player, it might be like a stone face, you know, but stone walls. Yes, stone walls. Like he's defense, he's a defense player. Or also like stony face, like as in like- Like he never gets stressed by the- Or he's got gray hair. Yeah, like it could be anything. I'm a looking stone griffin.

I'm a stone griffin, I'm going stone griffin. All right, looking stone griffin. Oh Griffin. All right. Lock and Stone Griffin. Oh, man. All right. Let's go through the answers. The Mighty Griffin. That was written by Zamit. Correct.

The Griffin. That was written by Jackson. Too simple. Too simple. Too simple. Too simple. I hope you also did the Stone Griffin. The Stone Griffin was written by Dushan.

I knew it. We all fucking dumb fucks make Griffin. I hope you also did the stone Griffin the stone You know what this all trickle Locknet monster was the house The big game Bigfoot was also there house. The correct answer was Dr. Duncanston. God damn it. God damn it. So that means two points for the house, one point for Dusha.

Well, now I'm in third. That's good. Oh, yeah, it's better than last. Zamit. Quick score update. Zamit on one point. Dusha on two points. And Jackson and the house,

the two people who don't want to win. We're dangling in the breeze and they're very uncomfortable right here. Very scary. Oh dude. I'm glad I've got a point. Yeah, you're in the game. I was expecting to come out of this like zero.

Any skin in the game is good. There have been zero pointers in the past. Nick Mason. Zero pointers. No, Mason did quite well. He claimed he got no points. Oh, did he? He was lying to you.

I can't believe how much of a liar he is. Scum, scum of the year. Question number four comes from Kira Jacobson from West Footscray. Great suburb. The question is, what is said to be the last words of General John Sedgwick during the American Civil War? What are said to be the last words of General John Sedgwick during the American Civil War? While you're writing your answers, here's some more info about Daryl Griffith.

Go on to wikipedia.org. It's an online resource I found. Oh, yeah. Daryl Stephen Griffith, born June 16, 1958, also known by his nickname Dr. Duncanstein, is an American former basketball player who spent his entire professional career with the Utah Jazz in the NBA from 1980 to 1991.

Mid-career, he transformed his offensive game, adding long-distance shooting skills to his aerial acrobatics. He led the league in three-point shooting at 36.1% and set an NBA record for most three-pointers made in a single season with 91.

His new abilities earned him a new nickname. Utah's play-by-play announcer, who also has a fantastic nickname, Hot Rod Hudley. Oh! He began calling him the Golden Griff, which is so close to the Stone Griffin. The Golden Griff.

Cause isn't gold just a stone? Yeah, it's a kind of rock. It's a precious stone. Precious rock. Yeah. It's one of them fancy rocks. You got some boring rocks in this life and some really good ones.

And gold's one of the really good ones. Yeah. Yeah, it is. Yeah. And gold's one of the really good ones. Yeah. Yeah, it is. Yeah. I believe that. Silver, pretty good. Silver's fine. Bronze, it's almost worth not picking up.

Yeah. Brass. They make tubers out of it. Yeah. People say you get brass balls. Yeah, that's true. Nobody says you get gold balls. Nobody? That guy's got balls and gold.

Frankly, maybe they should. That man's balls are worth their weight in gold. That's got balls of gold. Frankly, maybe they should. That man's balls are worth their weight in gold. That's something you could say. You could say that in some context. That's not a lot of gold. Yeah. Well, the nuts, is it the nuts or the scrotum? Scrotum worth its weight in gold, that's pretty decent.

Nuts are heavier than scrote. Yeah. If it's an empty scrote, that's not empty. I was imagining it's like a solid rock. Full solid. Sorry, Matt. Do you look like you want to get our attention? No, no. That's my face when I'm enjoying a conversation.

Please, boys, do go on. So, question four. What are said to be the last words of General John Sedgwick when he died during American Civil War? Whoa, whoa, whoa. I'm pissed and shit. Oh, no.

Here are your six options. Okay. Oh, shit. The enemy are such a terrible shot, they couldn't hit the broad side of a barn. Okay. All right, you win this time, double or nothing. of a barn. Okay.

Alright, you win this time. Double or nothing. A life lived violently is a life less lived. Okay. Sincerely, I didn't think much of it. Or, they couldn't hit an elephant at this distance. Poor DME.

So you go, oh shit. The enemy has such a terrible shot, they couldn't hit the broad side of a barn. All right, you win this time. Double or nothing. A life lived violently is a life less lived. I mean, that could be because he maybe died later. Yeah, that's true.

Maybe he died an old man. Sincerely, I didn't think much of it. Or they couldn't hit an elephant at this distance. I don't know why. It just feels right. I'm going the elephant one. Okay. That's just like, it feels. Just just a vibe thing just like the vibration in the

room i'm vibing with that question yeah well it is tricky because these answers give us three pretty much you can divide them into categories of what type of guy this was yes smog and then dead pensive and reflective maybe on uh violent life yeah and then it was sudden he didn't get much fuckhead he didn't get much chance to say anything profound yeah what most of us are guaranteed oh my god a bus that'll be my last but yeah it's just kind of it's just it's notable right yeah i guess if we're like why we know his last words and it's either gonna be, yeah, he's like, I'm invincible as he dies. Or I shouldn't have killed all those people. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's tricky. I don't know why the elephant one just struck me right. That's, I just went for it. American. I'm gonna go with barn one.

Barn one, which is sort of, it's like a different version of the elephant one. It's just a bit long for your last words. Yeah. Yeah. I'm an elephant. Elephant, yeah. Okay. Well, two elephants in a box. We all long for your last words. Elephant, elephant, yeah. Okay. Well, two elephants in a box.

We all went for that. So at this point I will reveal that I'm pretty certain that I've heard this before. Me too, me too, me too. I just think that I- I thought I heard it before and it was the elephant one. Oh, maybe that was a different guy. That's what I'm thinking.

All right. Answers are locked in thinking. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Answers are locked in. Fuck. This is who wrote them. Oh, shit. That was the house. That has Jackson written all over it. That was the great work of Kira Jacobson.

Oh, no, I fucked this. Yeah. I just realized what's happened. All right. You win this time. Double or nothing. That was also the house. A life lived violently is a life less lived, which is dou you're giving me the freaking tongue yeah uh sincerely i didn't think much of it that was jackson b bailey yeah that was me that was me

you're you're safe so one of one of you is correct no he's not because you fuck yeah we got this the broad side of a barn that was written by zamit. Yeah And the correct answer was they couldn't hit an elephant at this distance. Oh, so that means two points for them I'm Jackson. Oh, I kiss me ahead That just made a lot damn, dude Sucks to suck does suck to suck I was hoping sincerely I didn't think much of it sounded like the kind of thing that you see like on Facebook They'll be like funny loss would yeah, like he was like, oh I didn't think much of it sounded like the kind of thing that you see like on Facebook. They'll be like funny last words.

You know, like he was like, oh, I didn't think much of life, witty, whatever. But no, it didn't work. Yours almost got me. I'll get to that. Pick a fake poetic thing. I think what threw me off there is I was like, I feel like that's not how you use the word last.

Yeah, but he's dying. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's dying. Brain sign up just like, oh, whatever, shush. It's like, yeah, yeah. He don't know. He's brain synapses. Oh, and it's whatever. Shush. It's like, yeah, like the first words on the moon didn't make sense either. Yeah, because he was dying. It's what it is.

Because he was dying as far as he knew. Men aren't meant to be on the moon. Oh, shit. All right, here's question number five. This one comes from Brandy Broyhill from Greensboro. Brandy Broyhill? Oh, my God. What, do they live in a tree trunk?

Yeah. What? I'm in North Carolina. Okay, my mistake. Yeah, does it mention a tree trunk? Do they live in a toadstool? It doesn't give that much. It doesn't give the exact address.

Fair enough. Fair enough. You can't have a shimmy. Is it better than an owl? I don't know. Yeah. And Brandy's question is, which of these is a real breed of horse?

So you've just got to write down a fake horse breed. And while you're writing your answers, here's a bit more information on General John Sedgwick. According to battlefields.org, in the early summer of 1864, Sedgwick led his corps with typical reliability at the outset of Grant's Overland Campaign. At the Battle of Spotsylvania Courthouse,

he was personally directing artillery placements and forming his line when he uttered his now famous last words, they couldn't hit an elephant from this distance or at this distance. Just then... Did he correct himself? From this distance. I mean, at this distance. Just then, in a moment of profound irony, he was struck and killed by a confederate bullet

when grant heard the news he could hardly believe it repeatedly asking is he really dead what a funny prank that would have been major general john sedgwick was the highest ranking union casualty of the war and widely beloved by his soldiers and his superiors. He's buried near his home in Cornwall Hollow. That's, yeah, that's good. Yeah. Rest in peace, King. Yeah, rest in peace, King.

Died being dumb as fuck. Yeah. Shot in the back of the head. I was going to say the side almost. It's like gesturing, these idiots. They couldn't hit a... The side's great because like in the war, you're basically...

Was this guy just in the crowd? He's like just turning to the rest of us. Oh, I see. Man. He's looking around being like, these fucking idiots. They can't shoot for shit. Was there an elephant that remained standing?

He was on an elephant. Well, I missed the elephant. Well, yeah, he was right elephant that remained standing? He was on an elephant. Well, I missed the elephant. Well, yeah, he was right on that, I guess. Fair enough, fair enough, fair enough. If it works for Hannibal, it's going to work for me. It did work out for Hannibal, bringing those elephants over the Alps. See? That was a good move.

Don't know how well the elephant would have gone in the Civil War, but maybe it would have changed. Were there elephants in the Civil War? Oh, there must have been at least one. At any point, there's going to be elephants. There's probably at least one elephant in the Civil War. Probability means elephants would be. There would have been circuses.

Yeah. So. No. Yeah. The circuses travelled from battle to battle, entertaining the troops. Matt's quiz master and he says there might have been. So.

I mean, odds are, yes. Odds are statistically this prominent. No one can say for sure. If there was an elephant in any civil war, we would have had a movie about it by now. War elephants. He put a war horse. Like Jumbo Drop or whatever.

Yeah. Operation. Yeah. Starring Dennis Leary. Was that not set in the civil war? Maybe civil War helicopters. Civil War in Vietnam. Look, this is the only time I'm ever going to get to tell this story

on a podcast, I think. Go on. Well, actually, there's probably one other that I could tell it on. But dropping stuff out of a helicopter just reminded me that during World War II, obviously, to the AFL, Australian Rules Football, couldn't run a regular league because the men were at war. But they did host the first ever all women's game.

And to start AFL football, they do a center bounce in the middle of the ground. They decided to celebrate this event that they did the center bound ball drop from a helicopter. They dropped the ball out of a helicopter onto the ground to start the game. That's real and true and that just reminded me. And we haven't done that since?

No, well see dropping a football out of a helicopter at a great height would either, I would assume, burst the ball or maybe kill somebody. Yeah, I feel like that's a great way to kill somebody. And we haven't done it. It is a great way to kill somebody. What about the North Melbourne pregame entertainment elephant?

Oh yeah, shit. There was an elephant? Yeah, they had a, I can't remember the story exactly, but the elephant got spooked and it was like stampeding on the ground. Yeah, so that was a big regret. They celebrated it recently with a blow up elephant. Yeah, that's not quite the same.

Celebrate the rampage of an elephant. It's also funny to have, like you live in North Melbourne, kangaroos. Yeah, bring a kangaroo on. We got heaps of them. No, change your name to North Melbourne elephants. North Melbourne elephant rampage. Are there any, kangaroo on we got heaps yeah no change your name to north melbourne elephants yeah north melbourne elephant rampage are there any yeah they should football teams should be called the elephants

yeah i think it's weird there's no wombats team yeah great animal for a mascot yeah even emus yeah wallabies garner wallabies garner wallabies garner quokkas garner quokkas yeah no quokkas yeah oh my god all right here's question number five which of Garniwockers. Garniwockers. Garniwockers. Garniwockers. Garniwockers. Garniwockers. Yeah, no, good point. Garniwockers, come on. Oh my God. All right, here's question number five. Which of these is a real breed of horse?

Oh yeah. Six options. I don't remember my answer, so I hope it unpicked. I was gonna say, if you pick your own answer, do you get a point? Oh yeah. No, you get ejected from the game. Oh no.

For not paying attention. So which one of these is are real breed of horse? American Vonderburger. That makes sense. Caramino. That could be it. Bashkir Curly Horse. Okay.

Ford Brumby. The Cleveland Pony. Or gorgeous Grey Gordon Gallopers. Oh no. See gorgeous Grey Gordon Gallopers. See that is. See that is. But it doesn't sound like either of you.

Is it a real house? Is it a say, sorry, is it a breed of horse or a horse's name? It's a breed of horse. Okay, okay, okay. A lot of those as horses, like horses first names will be fucked up. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Can I get them again? Yeah. American Vonderburger. Sounds too stupid, it might be it. Caramino. Okay. Bashkir Curly Horse. Ford Brumby. The Cleveland Pony.

Or gorgeous grey Gordon Gallopers. So there was the Pony Express. Did that operate out of Cleveland and they bred a pony for it? But also I think the Pony Express only lasted, it lasted like barely any time before trains came around and made it think i'm gonna go to the bashkir short and curly yeah they all feel like so american wunderburger or whatever is the only one that has our flavor in it yeah but i kind of like it's just it's basically jackson's blank face that was his well i was gonna say there were like like a massive amount of german populations or whatever

in america what is that settlement so how does that how can you talk me through how you know that that would be your flavor yeah yeah it just seems like none of the others are obviously plain or stupid enough to be uh the g Gordon Gray Horse Brigade or whatever. Are you kidding me? So actually, can I get the last one again? Gorgeous Gray Gordon Gallopers. Okay, look, it's not you or me. Could be Joel Zahmud.

Could be Joel Zahmud. Wow. Or could be me. Could be you. I'm being analysed. I'm the American Vonderburger I reckon Cleveland ponies you because it sounds like Cleveland steamer and you think about asses a lot

and also I brought up the pony express maybe I was trying to trick you so we've got American Vonderburger that's what Zamet's going for the curly horse that's my pick then there's the

Caramino. Caramino. That also could be a Jackson typo. Ford. Made up for work. Because there's a famous breed, the Palomino. Yeah. So this could be a crossbreed.

And the Cleveland Pony, gorgeous gray Gordon Gallopers. If it's gorgeous gray Gordon Gallopers, I'm getting in that hole in the studio. Okay. What are you looking in? It could be, but maybe I'm tricking you. You all seem so silly. I'm gonna go the...

Dude just sweating. He's struggling. He's sweating. He's sweating. I'm gonna go the Sean Kelly's as well, please. Sean Kelly's as well. I feel like that's right. Cause like maybe it's like a freak horse that's got like,

it looks like wool and that's what makes it notable, is my thinking. This is who wrote the answers. The gorgeous gray Gordon Gallop, that was the house. Okay. But kind of thank God. The Cleveland steamer pony, that was Dusha. Yeah.

He's always thinking of us. Yeah, always thinking of us.. He's always thinking of us. Yeah. Always thinking of us. We're all always thinking of us. The Ford Brumby, that was OJ Simpson's getaway vehicle. Yep, yep, yep. Ridden by the house. Uh-oh. The Caramino, that was Goddammit Zamet.

Okay. The American Wunderburger was Jackson. The correct answer was the Bashkir Curly. Yeah! I knew it. I knew the Wunderburger had a... In fact, the Bashkir Curly I knew it I knew that Wunderberger had a in fact I called

the other two two points for Jackson one point for the douche oh damn dude that puts me not last so that's alright that means the scores

are now on three points douche is zammered in the house but way out in front on six points it's Jackson double the score of the field Matthew you're doing well pull me down hey hey Douches, Zamed in the house, but way out in front on six points. Oh, no. Someone topple me.

Matthew, you're doing well. Topple me down. Hey, hey, hey. It's still anyone's game. I'm going to have a panic attack. It's still anyone's game. Any one of us could equal Jackson at the end of just this next round, and we've still got two questions left.

That's true. That's true. Two questions. Whoa. That's big. It's still anyone's game here. This is question number six. This comes from Alex White from Essex in the UK. Alex White's for no man. That's big. It's still anyone's game here. This is question number six. This comes from Alex White from Essex in the UK.

Alex Waits for no man. That's what I hear. Oh my God. Tom Waits' brother. Sometimes the simplest answer is the most clever. No, that's not what I meant. All right, Alex's question is, in what is presumed an apocryphal story,

John Hetherington was fined 500 pounds for breach of the peace in 1797. What did he do? Okay. So it's presumed an apocryphal story. John Hetherington. What does that mean? Can we get a definition of apocryphal? I'm not legitimate.

Not like thought it was for by some people thought to be real but historians have sort of looked into it and it seems like it was sort of a myth that's become

you know or sort of It's kind of a historical way of saying a lie. A lie. Basically like they besmirched their name. Apocryphal

Can I get the full question again please? So it's believed to have not really happened but the legend goes John Hetherington was found 500 pounds for breach of the peace Can I get the full question again, please? So it's believed to have not really happened, but the legend goes, John Hetherington was found 500 pounds for breach of the peace in 1797.

What did he do? 1797. What did he do? Just 100 years before the VFL began. 1797. To put it in context for you. And while you're writing your answers, here's some more information on Bashkir Curly Horses.

According to learninghorses.com, Bashkir Curlies are an athletic, versatile, and level-headed breed of horse. Curlies come in all sizes and colors. Coat types vary from non-expressed curl to extreme curls. The winter coat on the average curly is tightly curled in the winter and in the springtime sheds out to a wavy summer coat that somewhat resembles crushed velvet in appearance. Bashkir Curlies are great for allergy sufferers and the guy who wrote this blog is one of them so he's a big fan. He loves them. He's like no more sneezing for me. I can ride this horse all goddamn day. Give it a big sniff who cares. After being slaughtered nearly to extinction because of their unusual appearance

in the first part of the 20th century, the Bashkir Curly Registry opened in 1971 with only 21 horses. That horse is fucked up. It looks like it's calcified. I think they're a beautiful horse. They look like a sheep. It looks like it's made of bones.

Wait, did you say we killed them because they looked wrong? I was like, that was just fucked up get me my god well i don't know if they were killed for because they looked weird or because they looked unusual and people wanted to collect them i'm not sure i would collect them by keeping them alive yeah that's a really good yeah maybe you want like a nice pelt like a rug yeah that's true a horse rug you get a rug shirt i I mean, you're thinking with a modern day mind. Yeah, that's true.

Early 20th century, they didn't know that you could breed things. Exactly. Early 20th century. You could just mount their head, you know? I hunted this curly horse. It was very friendly and very easy to kill. So in the 70s, it was down to only 21 horses. That's four.

Today, there are over 5,000 bashkir curlies in the world. How inbred are these horses? Old brothers. Not many. Big time. that doesn't seem like a big gene pool to pull from 21 is small isn't there a number that it has to be before I don't know if it's different for different animals for humans it's like 110

horses can marry their cousins it's fine a horse can bone down with it's sister what are you doing step horse or whatever hey step horse are you doing step horse hey step or you stuck in that fence imagine fighting you're all stuck in the dryer are you trying to get fucked by your step horse oh no you just got lost or whatever oh no he's actually genuinely stuck oh my god oh that's right you're a horse it's like crumbs. Please don't kick me while I try and free you. Oh my God.

All right. The answers are in for question six. I'm scared. Oh yeah, right. That's right. That's what we're doing. We're in the quiz show. Sorry.

We got lost in a riff. Yeah. And maybe this is a good time to tell everyone that if you're in Perth, I'm doing this show live next week on the 29th of October. Great day. At the Oasis Comedy Club. I'm also headlining the comedy club there on the 29th of october great day at the oasis comedy club i'm also headlining the comedy club there on the 28th and 29th and i'm also going to be doing the show in the uk

helps to remember it's between the 8th and 20th of november oh my god that does help that really helps me yeah um i actually saw dave warner key before before. And we all did actually. Yeah, we all saw Dave Warnicke. He did two episodes of different shows. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he did remind me to tell everyone that between the 8th of November and the 20th of November, he will be appearing alongside Matt Stewart for a UK tour. That's true. We're doing podcasts and stand-up comedy over there.

That's it. In merry old England and Scotland. Oh! Also merry. We're going from Glasgow to London and stopping at a couple of places in between. Oh, yeah. Four places.

One of them might be Bristol. One of them is Bristol. Maybe Manchester? One of them is Manchester. Liverpool? No. Jackson. I was close.

Drop the bag. I don't lose a point for that. Hey, it's hard to read you. Oh, I don't want to win. I don't lose a point for that. Hey, it's hard to read you. Oh, I don't want to win. I don't lose a point for that, do I? Oh, I want to lose legitimately. All right. So here's question six.

John Hetherington. This is an apocryphal, remember? John Hetherington was fined 500 pounds for breach of the peace in 1797. What did he do? Protesting the existence of 500 pound fines for public protest against the state. He dressed a hog up to resemble the current King. Well,

that's good. He wore the world's first top hat. He ate a Bible. In public. He bought a dog and a cat at the same time that's true or he killed 500 people

that was fined a pound per person oh my god well when was this? 1797 ok ok ok I think there was a king you know what real swing for the fence i don't think that

either of you would have said hog because you reckon hogs too obvious he loves saying hog i want to fucking hog but i'm thinking he wrote hog no fuck him he didn't write in hog i'm locking in hog all right okay i'm, but when were top hats invented? If I make a top hat one, is it way too, because that shit, Matt's been fucking killed. He's been killed.

We killed him with hog talk. Hog, no, hog logic. Because I'm thinking, that shit does happen. You know, people wear clothes,

new clothes, people freak out. But is 1700, when was the last time someone wore new clothes and there was a panic? not in the, well, probably the, people freak out. But is 1700- When was the last time someone wore new clothes and there was a panic? Well, not in the, well, probably the Zoot Suit riots. They were racially motivated. Yeah.

And before, I guess, before that, not so racially motivated, but you had like people wearing hats, and then when people took them off, it was like, oh my God. Yeah, exactly. And that sort of was like- But would a top hat deserve a fine?

I don't think so. Unless there was like a restrictive in terms of like size of hat. Or even taxes on... But then it's not going to be 500 pounds. Well, no, it's not a tax. It's a fine. Well, no, yeah, but I...

It's apocryphal, remember? Yeah, which means it's probably trying to teach everyone a lesson. I don't think it's the dog and the cat at the same time. No. I don't think it's eating the Bible. Can you give me the ones that aren't those? Why do you not think it's... Why are you protesting against the existence of 500 pound fines?

It seems too silly. Eating a Bible. World's first top hat. Bought a cat and a dog or killed 500 people getting fined. I'm going world's first top hat. I feel like I'm walking right into a fucking ditch when I picked that. Eating a Bible just seems too silly. Mocking the king though.

I think that makes, yeah, mocking the king. And that seems like. That's a hog. It is. Yeah. Mocking the king, though. I think that makes... Yeah, mocking the king, and that seems like... That's a hog. It is, yeah, mocking the king. You go with the hog? I'm going with the hog. I'm going whole hog. I might be giving Jackson two points, but I'm going hog.

All right, let's go through the answers. Killing 500 people, that was the house. Okay. So was the dog and the cat one. Okay. Eating a Bible, that was Zamet. Protesting the existence of 500-pound fines for public protests against the state, that was the dog and the cat one. Okay. Eating a Bible. That was Zamet. Protesting the existence of 500 pound fines for public protests against the state. That was the douche.

Uh oh. Dressed to hog up to resemble the current king was Jackson. I knew it! My hog logic was flawless, you piece of shit! Did I just get three points rich? Meaning the correct answer was the world's first top hat. Jackson got that right, so a maximum of three points for Jackson. He's going out to an unassailable lane.

Mike, your hog logic sucks, dude. You picked me and I was like, I'm staying quiet. It's crazy you didn't think that was me. You were like, you picked it. You were like, that's Jackson. I was like, I'm done. Then you picked it! Hog? I thought his hog was too obvious.

He loves talking about fucking hogs, you idiot. Hogs are funny. You tricked me. Ah, fuck. I love that double bluff work there. Yeah, fucking hog. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you apparently love saying hog.

I love saying hog. Hog wild. Hog wash. I will give you an example of how Jackson often uses hog. You use hog so much. It's so good my hog got slopped off. I love being at the movies and slopping off my own hog. Something that has happened occasionally when going to the last round,

the lead was too big. Yeah. One of the contenders requested triple points for the final round. Now, if you request it, I will allow it, but that is up to you whether you feel that that is morally okay or not. So Jackson's lead is six at the moment, right? Yeah, so if you triple it, you go up to nine points maximum. That's pretty funny.

For the first two times that it's happened, the person in the big lead ended up with an even bigger lead. Yeah. Yeah, it happened often. We could be the first of a time that this podcast has happened and the lead has been eaten Yeah. Yeah, it's not often. We could be the first of a time that this podcast has happened and the lead has been eaten up. Yeah, exactly. Yeah.

I could have said that in an easier way, but you know what I was going to say. Triple points means that the last round could be worth a maximum of nine points. Oh, my God. So the current score is Dusha, Zam at the house on three points. Jackson out to nine points. Clearly.

So if one of the three of us could somehow score those maximum nine points, we'd leapfrog Jackson. But you can't. There's no room for error. Yeah. You've got to make the perfect run. Oh, my God. Can't touch the sides.

Can't touch the sides. No bumpers. No bumpers. No bumpers. No bumpers. All right. So we're up to our final question, question number seven. And this one comes from Adam King from New York.

King of New York. King of New York. Sausage King of Chicago. And his question is, what is the plot of the 1994 Italian film Cemetery Man? What is the plot of the 1994 Italian film Cemetery Man. What is the plot of the 1994 Italian film Cemetery Man? And while you're writing your answers, here is some more information on that top hat incident

via wikipedia.org. The story goes that Hetherington was arraigned before the Lord Mayor on the 15th of January, 1797 on a charge of breach of the peace and inciting a riot and was required to post a 500 pound bond equivalent to about 55,000 pounds today. Reportedly, he had appeared on the public highway wearing upon his head what he called a silk hat

which had a shiny luster and calculated to frighten timid people. And the officers of the Crown stated that, quote, several women fainted at the unusual sight. While children screamed, dogs yelped, and a younger son of Cordwainer Thomas was thrown down by the crowd, which collected and had his right arm broken. Oh, my God.

All based on this top hat. It does sound apocryphal because I can't imagine a hat so big a dog hates it. That seems insane. I don't think a hat so big a dog hates it. That seems insane. I don't think a dog notices the hat I'm wearing, no matter how tall. Although dogs are weird little guys. And if it's like, oh, you look like that person I know, but now you look

taller, I'm growling. True, true, true, true, true. Would a child scream if they saw a top hat? If another child screamed, then yeah. All it takes is one. All it takes is one. And if someone was like, true, true, true, true. Would a child scream if they saw a top hat? If another child screamed, then yeah. All it takes is one. All it takes is one. And then if someone was like, ah, and the kid like senses it, then yeah.

Yeah, that's true. Then it's done. Kids are sort of psychic like that. Kids are on their own. Kids are psychic. Kids are psychic. They adapt so well to like the vibe of the room and can like psychically link into like most people's fears.

That's why, you know, like they get those dogs that could smell cancer. Yeah, baby. Kid probably could, but it's ethically wrong to do it to him. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Plus you don't trust them. Yeah, plus the kid might as well be sick.

Kids don't have empathy. They might joke. Yeah, everyone who's sick. All right, here's the final question for triple points. Oh, damn, dude. The stakes have never been higher. So not only do you want to guess the correct one, but the biggest mistake that Giles could do would be to get Jackson

sealing the win for him. The question is, what is the plot of the 1994 Italian film Cemetery Man? So if there is any hogs in here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hogs, slurps. Yeah, slops. Slops. Cemetery Man. Let if there is any hogs in here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hogs, slurps. Yeah, slops. Slops. Cemetery Man.

Let's see. What would Jackson think? What would Jackson... Any superhero related thing could be Jackson. A dog fucks a skeleton. A dog fucking a skeleton would be an obvious Jackson cue. Oh, yeah. Some kind of either skeleton or ghoul.

Yeah. Yeah, maybe. But it is a cemetery so it does make sense that there would be some of that going on I think most cemeteries have a skeleton or two probably get one skeleton unless they're a fake cemetery

and by a closet you mean ground yeah one of the ground closets that's what I think of a coffin I keep my clothes in a ground closet alright here are the options for the plot of the 1994 Italian film, Cemetery Man. A young woman falls in love with a gravekeeper, but a small town are convinced he's a vampire

trying to make her his new bride. A beleaguered caretaker of a small Italian cemetery searches for love while defending himself from dead people who keep rising again. That sounds like a douche. After recent break-ins at the local cemetery, the local mayor hires a new security guard to protect the deceased from vandalism. Within his first week on the job, the guard, Antonio, discovers a deeper conspiracy that may go all the way to the top. That sounds too much. That's a top. Okay. That's too much.

That's a lot of words. That's too much. All the way to the top of what? The cemetery? Well, when you're in the cemetery, the top is just the ground. Yeah. Oh, it's a heaven. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. This goes all the way to God. It's an Italy-Italian God. Oh, no. Oh, my God. way to God. It's an Italy-Italian God. Oh, no. The owner of a local cemetery

realises he gets paid by the body and goes on a murderous rampage to fill his graves until he's raking in the dough. That sounds like a Jackson answer. Yeah. A documentary about

the most prolific gravestone and monument carver in Rome or a down-on-his-luck cemetery caretaker discovers a small fortune in an open grave. He uses it to woo the woman of his dreams. The spirit of the fortune's original owner returns to seek revenge.

There's a lot of love going on. For some reason, we all heard Italy. We all heard cemetery. We were like ghosts and relationships. That's what- That last one may be Jackson as well. Yeah. You said that for half of them.

The last one could be Jackson and the ghouls coming back or whatever. The one that says. The one that's rising again. Rising again. But then also like. Yeah, you stay out of this, I reckon. Yeah, shut the fuck up. Okay.

All right, fair enough. We just can't pick Jackson's. It doesn't matter who else we pick. Should we get Jackson to I reckon. Yeah, shut the fuck up. Okay. All right, fair enough. We just can't pick Jacksons. It doesn't matter who else we pick. Should we get Jackson to go first? Yeah, Jackson. Sure, sure, sure. You can discuss openly then. Okay.

Can I get them again? Yeah. A young woman falls in love with a gravekeeper, but her small town are convinced he's a vampire trying to make her his new bride. Could be that one. A beleaguered caretaker of a small Italian cemetery searches for love while defending himself

from dead people who keep rising again. Funny. After recent- I think it's that one. A beleaguered caretaker of a small Italian cemetery searches for love while defending himself from dead people who keep rising again. Funny. I think it's that one. I think it's the second one. Italian's known for comedy. I'm just thinking it's like I can imagine it's like a 1990s Italian comedy. It's like they're not coming back in a spooky way. They're just like coming back in a like, oh, I'm

returning to life and it's causing me problems or whatever. That's kind of the vibe I'm imagining there. I'm picking that one locking that in do you two want to hear the other four yes please after recent break-ins

at the local cemetery the local mayor hires a new security guard to protect the deceased from vandalism within his first week on the job

the guard Antonio discovers a deeper conspiracy to make it all the way to the top you laugh both times which made me laugh both times Antonio tickles me laugh both times.

Antonio tickles you. Is it so much detail? I love the other ones about a single active mention or character. It's not the full name. I mean. It's a tiger name. Sometimes.

I wouldn't let that sway you either way because sometimes they're mentioned, sometimes they're not. That's true. Do they way. Cause that sometimes they're mentioned, sometimes they're not. Do they often have the surname when they're mentioned? Depends. Cause usually I just take pretty much the version that the question writer gives. So there's-

If they didn't put in the surname. Or they've taken it from a certain website or whatever. Okay. Then we had the owner of a local cemetery realizes he gets paid by the body and goes on a murderous rampage to fill his graves until he's raking in the dough. I reckon if it was that one, I would know about the movie.

Yeah, great. Then we had the documentary one about the most prolific gravestone and monument carver in Rome. So that could be something, but like- Cemetery man. Cemetery man. It's a sort of, oh, but maybe.

I mean, Grizzly Man's a documentary, but is that the trick? Or finally, a down onon-his-luck cemetery caretaker discovers a small fortune in an open grave. He uses it to woo the woman of his dreams. The spirit of the fortune's original owner returns to seek revenge. I reckon it would be called Rich Cemetery Man.

Cemetery Money Man. I was trying to think, because 94, I'm like, okay, so when'm like okay so when dust came out around about the same time yeah so you're combining kind of comedy and horror and all that kind of evil i mean evil dead 2 happened in the late 80s yeah yeah yeah yeah and so it's kind of like well you know did like did tarantino rip off an Italian film to make Dust Till Dawn? Oh no, don't implant me with fake memories.

Don't do this. Cause if that's the case, then it's like, then it could be, you know, well, all three really, the ones that are about love. Yeah. And then some supernatural happening. I just don't, I don't think it's a documentary. That's I'm just-

Yeah, what was the documentary one again? Is there a chance this is Jackson? About the most prolific gravestone and monument carver in Rome. A documentary about the dog that fucked the most skeletons in Rome. I think that seems like the half of the throw. I see, I think that's one of us.

Cause they use prolific, but then they say carver and they are a weird mix. Cause it would be gravestone engraving. Maybe you got to carve it. You can carve it. If this ends up being right, and I've talked my way out of it by overthinking it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I don't think it's that one. It's possible that Adam King from New York is a Sam's Pants listener as well. As dumb as us. I don't think it's that one. I think the last one, which was like the revenge, the richest and then the ghost revenge. I don't think it's that one.

Somehow. I just don't think it's that one. Annoyingly, it could be the one Jackson's picked. Yeah. But I don't want to copy it. Yeah. Well, if you do,

you're sort of, you can't win, right? You get the points, but it's not like really worth it. Yeah. You got gotta pick one all right all right let's go let's go so there's a vampire uh yep the first one included the vampire or what doesn't say is a vampire the town thinks they're a vampire okay so there's vampire or

town thinks vampire then there's the beleaguered caretaker where the the dead keep rising again then we have the recent break-ins, new security guard. That sounds silly, like a Jackson. Antonio's involved. Yeah, that's too much for me. You got the owner of a local cemetery getting paid by the body. Starts to do it for cash.

Documentary, all the down on his luck, cemetery caretaker with the open grave of cash. Fuck it, vampire. Vampire. Okay grave of cash. Fuck it, vampire. Okay, all right. Fuck it, I'm going to go cash. Last one. I talk myself out of it. I'm talking myself back into it.

All right. So douches go on. I'm thinking the vampire one too. Like I'm sticking with my answer, but I feel like that one. Shut the fuck up. Don't talk to me. That's not too late.

Not too late, Jackson. No, no, no, no. I'm happy with where I am. Samit, you're going for? Yeah, the last one. The open grave? Okay. All right. Here are who wrote the answers.

I want to know more about this Antonio fellow. If it's fucking Antonio. It's not Antonio. If it's Antonio. It can't be. It can't be. It goes all the way to the top. A documentary about the most prolific gravestone

and monument cover in Rome. That was written by the house. Okay. Adam the King. Or Adam King. Adam the King wrote that. See, it was good. We talked about that.

That was good. Adam also wrote the owner of a local cemetery realized he gets paid by the body. Okay. Goes on a murderous rampage. Yeah. Uh-oh. So, we got rid of that one. So, the house is done.

The house is out. The house is out. Okay. Okay. So, what have we got left is cooked. The house is out. Okay. Okay. So what have we got left? I just hope I haven't picked Jackson's. We have the one with Antonio. That was Dusha.

What? No way. And it goes all the way to the top? All the way to the top. Are you kidding me? The one that Dusha picked, a young woman where the town thinks could be a vampire, that was Zamet. Yes, yes, yes.

So that's three points to Zamet there. That means I've come second last. Okay, okay, okay. We now have Jackson's answer on the real one. And I think I picked Jackson's answer. Like a fucking idiot. And Zamet did pick Jackson's answer. Yes, I did.

And Jackson picked the correct one. Whoa, how sweet it is. It's good to be on top now. Six points. That means six points for this round to Jackson. Scoring triple points. And it happened like every other time. Zammett talks himself out of what is clearly my answer and then talks himself back in.

It's like you get double bluffed each time. You're like, well, that's obviously Jackson's, but maybe no way it could be Jackson's. Hog. Hog answer. I didn't want to pick the one that you picked. That's all. So final score is

Doucher in the House on three points. Fuck! Equal third. Second place is Zammett on six points. Way out in front on 15 points. Jackson Bailey. So many points. Holy shit.

I can only do that once, because I think the trick is that a lot of my answers were kind of like what you would expect, but then also not really. I don't think I can get away with that again. I reckon you could. I have a faith in you, Ben. I got to ride this one.

Fantastic work. Do you want to hear a bit more about the with that again. I reckon you could. I have a faith in you, Ben. I got to ride this one. That was fantastic work. Do you want to hear a bit more about the film? Yeah, I'd love to. So the main character, Francesco Della Morte, I wish his name was... No last name given. Was played by Rupert Everett, strangely. He's not Italian?

Yeah. A cemetery caretaker in the small Italian town of Baffalora. He lives in a ramshackle house on the premises, constantly surrounded by death. Young punks in town spread gossip that Delamorte is impotent. His hobbies are reading outdated telephone directories in which he crosses out the names of the deceased and trying to assemble a puzzle shaped like a human skull.

Rotten Tomatoes Consensus Review reads, Cemetery Man will frustrate viewers seeking narrative cohesion or coherence, but this surreal brand of humor and horror should satisfy B-movie fans in the mood for quirk. All right. Mixed LaSalle of the San Francisco Chronicle wrote, it aims high and misses,

but it does hold interest with visual flash, wry humor, and a couple of sex scenes that can make steam come out of your ears. I'm adding this to my watch list immediately. Wazzle, wazzle.

Look out. All right. So thanks so much for joining us. Thank you. Where can people find you? Tell us a bit about the Fantastic Sands Pants

radio network. So we do a lot of podcasts, but the best place to find them is to head to dogoonpod.com forward slash live dash shows forward slash enter. And then a lot of dates are going to come up.

You're like, this doesn't look like Sands Pants Podcast. Which one of these is a podcast? And it's all of them. You buy tickets to every event there. But I don't live in Liverpool, I say. Don't worry about it. Don't worry about it. Forget about it.

Well, if you don't live in Liverpool, of course, what a great opportunity to watch my new stand-up special that is premiering on the Stupid Old YouTube channel on the 26th of October at 7 p.m. Australian Eastern Daylight Savings Time. But it'll be up there forever after that. You can watch it whenever you like. Oh, no, I was too busy having dinner with my Nana on that time.

Yeah, yeah. You don't worry about it. Yeah. Watch it tomorrow. Screw you, Nan. If you've got the internet and you've got access to this free special,

that's great value. That's really... No matter how much you hate it. You got it for free. You can't complain. But I'd love to plug quickly SandsPantsRadio.com.

It's a beautiful podcast network with all sorts of podcasts, including Plumbing the Death Star. Maybe the one that started it all. Is that correct? Yeah, pretty much. It was the first successful one. It was definitely the first successful one, yes.

So it started it all as in like it gave us an audience. I mean, do podcasts count if no one's listening? I mean, if you want to listen to the one that came out today on Monday, the whatever today is, then yeah, Dave Warnarnke and I were on it and it was a great amount of fun. Yeah. It was a laugh.

A sequel to an episode that we did once that we had to put behind a paywall because it was too, to quote us, fucked up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And this one we did this Monday, probably pretty fucked up too. I think it was normal. Normal level.

Because you're a joker. Yeah. And we also did an episode of Thumb Cramps your great yeah that's right so the most recent episode

of Thumb Cramps also had Matt and Dave on it we reviewed many of things and there was some pretty big breaking news if you're fans of

if you're Thumb Cramps fans and you're fans of video games if you're fans of video games if you're a fan of fantasy if you're a fan of Browns Jackson if you're a fan of fantasy if you're a fan of jackson if you're a fan of well if you're just a fan and yeah if you love matt and dave even if you hate us they're on those episodes so you can listen to plumbing the death star you can listen to thumb cramps and just ignore whatever we're saying if you're a fan of uh demon cave or whatever

that gets referenced yeah that's right the 1986 Demons. That's right. The 1986 Australian classic novelle. Yeah. Space Demons. And the correct listening order is Plumbing the Death Star first, Thumb Cramps, then this episode. So if you've listened to this first,

pause it. Yeah. Stop. Don't listen to the last 30 to 40 seconds. What you want to do is you want to rewind to the stars episode. You go back. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly. Listen to whatever order do is you want to rewind to the stars episode. You go back. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly.

Listen to whatever Dusha said. Plumbing the Death Star. Thumb cramps. Who knew it was Matt Stewart. That's the way to do it. Maybe listen to them twice. Yeah.

Maybe listen to them maybe not on your own device. Maybe go to your, I don't know, your mother's device, your father's device, your partner, your like sibling,

And you just download those. You just download, you hit that subscribe button, you give us any of these shows, your like, anyone, you know, hit that subscribe button. You give us any of these shows, five stars or one, whatever's funnier. And you can ask your friends. What happened to Dave? What happened to Dave?

Where'd Dave go? Where'd Dave go? Where'd Dave go? That's what, that's a question on everyone's lips. Where'd Dave go? I don't know. I know where I went.

Do go on pod.com forward slash live dash shows. I bought tickets to everything. Yeah. King pod.com forward slash live dash shows. I bought tickets to everything. Yeah. King move. Thanks so much for joining us guys. And thanks so much for everyone who listened as we are a new show. It'd be great if you could help get the word out there.

Maybe by doing those things as Amit just said. Five stars for this one. Plumbing the Death Star, whatever you feel. Yeah, whatever you feel on time. Five for thumb cramps would be handy too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Plumbing the Death Star, yeah. Whatever you, you know. What, whatever you're feeling on the time of day. Five for thumb cramps would be handy too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Plumbing the nut style, yeah, whatever you,

you know, what do you really feel? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's all downhill. Yeah, one star's can't hurt if you're plumbing the nut style. Thanks for joining us.

See you next time, you gorgeous grey Gordon Gallopers and Antonios out there.