Who Knew It with Matt Stewart - 84 - Celya AB, Josh Jones and Dan Tiernan

Episode Date: April 22, 2024

Who Knew It with Matt Stewart is a comedy game show podcast hosted by Australian comedian Matt Stewart. This episode features comedians Celya AB (Live At The Apollo, The News Quiz), Josh Jones (8 Out of 10 Cats, Jonathan Ross' Comedy Club) and Dan Tiernan (winner of both the BBC New Comedy and British Comedian of the Year awards)!Check out Matt's stand up special FREE on YouTube: https://youtu.be/cWStRpI-BhESupport the show via http://patreon.com/dogoonpod and you can submit questions for the show!See the podcast/Matt live: https://www.mattstewartcomedy.com/Check out Matt's podcast network: https://dogoonpod.com/Theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and Logo by @muzdoodles! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Oh hello there, it's the titular Matt Stewart letting you know that I'm gonna be in Sydney, Australia and then Brisbane, Australia Doing short runs of my show Dryer Dryer, Sydney from the 8th to the 12th of May Brisbane from the 16th to the 19th of May. Hey, but also you might not know this I'm doing a live Who Knew It with Matt Stewart in Sydney on the 13th of May and in Brisbane on the 14th of May Holy moly, am I looking forward to these shows. Please get tickets for all of these now if you use the discount code do go on that might work I'm not sure but worth a try. Really hope to see you there Sydney especially please come along Brisbane also though you're buying tickets earlier better Sydney lift

please. Alright I'll see you soon buying tickets earlier, better. Sydney lift, please. All right, I'll see you soon. Now on with the show. ["The Big Bangs"] Welcome to Who Knew It with Matt Stewart, the show where the guests write the wrong answers. I'm the titular Matt Stewart. Our first guest has appeared on 8 Out of 10 Cats and Jonathan Ross' comedy club, it's Josh Jones Hello, hello

They're pretty, they're good shows to have been on Yeah, yeah, they're good, yeah, it's fun Our second guest this week has appeared on live at the Apollo and the news quiz it's Celia AB Hello Geez, you were like doing a real French accent Is that actually a secret? Listen, we can come here and say that I'm not French.

But you know what? I still want my career when I get back. And if I have to pretend I am, then I will. I don't think you sound less French on stage. I think you sound the same all the time. Really good. Like, unordable. Yeah.

Our third guess is winner of both the BBC New Comedy and British Comedian of the time really good yeah our third guest is winner of both the BBC new comedy and British comedian of the year awards it's Dante and but at the three of you're over here in Melbourne for the Melbourne Comedy Festival, you're all doing a show together? Yeah, yeah. It's like you're like hand picked by the Comedy Festival and flown over sort of. Yeah, we honestly just get a very nice month of just having a lovely time. Yeah, that's so good. And we're on at the town hall at 9 p.m. Uh-huh mm-hmm and

Josh is on that nine. I'm on a 920 All right, so the way the show works I ask a relatively obscure trivia question our contestants have to write a convincing fake answer I then read their answers well as the real and I have to guess which one is correct. The first one comes from listener Patrick J. Early from Bendigo in Victoria and his question is, what is the meaning of the 18th century word rantallion? Could you use the word in a sentence? As long as the sentence is,

what is the meaning of the 18th century word rantallion? That is the sentence I wanted Okay, great fantastic This is how the scoring works as well while you're writing your answers You don't really have to listen particularly but for the listeners you get a point if your fake answer is guessed By the other contestants and another point if you correctly guess the answer by the way I'm also playing as the house I'll put into it my own fake answer for each question

And I'll get a point for each one of those our guests choose so each of us can score up to three points per round which seems fair but the probability actually favors me the house. That's so unfair. Well which is why and there have been complaints which is why contestants get triple points in the last round now to even things up and the house nearly never wins anymore so. That's not true everyone says the house always wins that's drilled into you isn't it the house always wins no matter what they say I think it's time that we storm this capital I think it's time all right wait the answers are in for question number one what is the meaning of the 18th century word

Rantallion Italian and very fast double meaning there a husband who is shorter than their wife to retaliate after someone stole your bucket A rant which lasts a period of less than 20 at least 25 minutes But no longer than 40 running from the law or someone who scrotum is so relaxed that it hangs lower than their penis Well, we know who kid this said that But me one of you do you think I can spell scrotum I would not choose scrotum over balls it's nice to type it is a scrotum ball oh no you just have to try and guess the the right answer I think that a husband shorter than the wife is 100% the right answer.

Do you think so? I'm so confident. There was another one that was like, what was the... If that's one of your suggestions, you've absolutely done me there. What was the... Can you go through them again? Sure, you got Italian and very fast,

husband who's shorter than the wife, to re-Italian after someone stole your bucket a rant which lasts a period between 25 minutes and 40 minutes running from the law or the scrotum running from the law I'd say can I put my answer in please please I would like to put the rant one because I was actually thinking ran and then I didn't type it okay great yeah put that in and then you said the husband shorted on the wife yeah all right this is who wrote the answers Italian and very fast that was Dan like that that was good I like that very efficient as well so much in

there not very believable not at all no well you got the ran is it was an answer is it ran is how you got to fast and then yeah Italian yeah yeah I didn't get it until just then that's how clever I was wow or how not clever I am either way to retaliate after someone saw your bucket that was so yeah wow that's a good one that was my second option I just thought all times buckets. Yeah Where they were like, let's give that a word. Yeah Then what else we have a husband is shorter than the wife down way for that. That was the house actually I thought of that watching one of your clips because you mentioned something about I was ages ago when my ex was tall

Yeah, that was some really clever stuff you inspired that one. He was very tough. It was so long He's still going some say Josh you went for a rant That was actually Patrick the question writer aka the house did I get that right then no that means oh you gave the house a point I'm not gonna. I don't know the rules. all, but I am here and I'm happy to be here Well, you do get a point though cuz Celia picked running from the law what you wrote Oh, yeah I wrote that because I couldn't remember the question because I was late and

It took me I just to figure out a message and I couldn't remember what the thing was and I just well to figure out how to message and I couldn't remember what the thing was and I just well you got a point that's a good reference running from the law was just in my brain and I don't know why I couldn't think of anything funny because I didn't know what I was real reality I don't know what the question was so I was just like I just need to say something and I put running from the law and I'm winning well you're well the house is winning house got two Well, you're, well, the house is winning. House got two points, but you're. Who is the house? Oh my God.

The house, the house is mine. I'm the house. All right. Plus the listeners who are, we're sort of the collector. We're all playing together. Oh, okay. All right. But that means the scrotum one is correct.

So no one got the correct answer. The scrotum one's correct. That's what the word meant. 18th century word rantallion meant Someone whose scrotum is so relaxed that it hangs lower than their penis just the word Okay Big balls I have like I have like dog balls Big old dog balls. Yeah, and I think like if you depends if you've been in a hot bath. Oh, yeah

I mean a hot bath can rent out a bath can really bring out the run tally in within anyone I'm going through run tallying right now, or I'm suffering. you suffer from Rantallion? Well? What do you celebrate it? Yeah, I thrive Yeah, it's really down to Personal preference is yep some people love a big boss I actually was with a guy who had very small ones, and I was like wow I miss them You miss the small ones. I miss like a big one. Yep. I just like a normal size one Thanks Josh so Josh gets a play

Josh gets a point then yeah house gets two points oh yeah, and then you have to score But we're up to a question to. Celia and Dan yet to score but we're up to question two. Seven questions, heaps of chances to score. This one comes from Julian Wren from Melbourne. Hi Julian. Melbourne. Melbourne. And Julian's question is, this one's a little vaguer. Which of these are real species of small mammal that's similar to a hedgehog? So you just got to make up a name of a small mammal. Okay. Create your own species. Can I double check, are mammals the one with bones?

Uh, I think we're mammals. You're not putting a real one, by the way. Yeah, we're mammals. But it's something similar to a hedgehog, if that helps you. But yeah, I think they've got bones. Is that, is that as, I don't know, what does mammal mean? A mammal means that they give birth.

Give birth and like breastfeed, is that part of it? I think so. I don't know if a mammal has to breastfeed. I think I'm thinking of mammaries. Because that means a lot of women aren't mammals. Yeah, I grew up on the bottom, not a mammal. I had formula, so I don't count. Yeah, you're a formula guy.

So it's a small mammal that's similar to a hedgehog. Yeah, you don't have to describe it, or only just name it. Okay. While you're writing your answers, here's some more info on Rantallion. Patrick writes, I found the word in my copy of Francis Gross's Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue.

The word before Rantallion is rammer, which is slang for arm, but one of my favourite entries in the dictionary is Fartcatcher, a valet or footman, and they got that name from walking behind his master or mistress. Jesus, that's not a nice time, the Victorian era, you know? I would have loved it. Yeah, you'd have loved it. I mean, I would have struggled with our Google Maps

But yeah, but you'd be out there stealing buckets and creating havoc. Having a great time. All right answer in Which of these are real species of small mammal the little prick? hog sheep moon rat Doug Johnson Cuties or hoggleback a real real species? Yeah one of those are real species. Can you run that again? The little prick, hog sheep, moon rat, Doug Johnson, Quties, Hoggleback. If you say your old dad said do you get a pint? No, yeah, well... What a fantastic loophole!

What a good one! That would be a good one! Just wondering! I'm gonna go... I'm gonna go huggle back! Huggle back. And I'll go back. What was the one before huggle back? Cutie. And the one...

I'm gonna go Cutie. Could you say them all one more time? Yep, Little Pricks, Hog Shape, Moonrats, Doug Johnson, Cuties, Hogglebacks. Moonrats could be a thing. I'm gonna go, I'm Hoggleback or Moonrat. I could, ugh. I'm gonna go Cuties.

I'm gonna go Moonrat. I think Moonrat would be a great name for a show. Moonrat. Moonrat, yeah, I like Moonrat. Don't you think Moonrat might be sick? Definitely. All right, here's the answers. The little prick that was Julian aka the house. House horse wrote Doug Johnson. So the house got nothing this round. Hog sheep was Celia. That was quite good, right? Yeah. I liked it. Yeah. A good mix up. I just thought

hybrid. Yeah. Yeah. I think a tiny little hog shape would be very cute. Animal. Cuties by the way, which you went for, that was Josh. Yeah, I've got you twice. I got you. I got you.

I think you're mine. I think I'm gonna develop some pretty big trust issues from now on. There's no escape. Josh, you went for hoggleback? That was Dan. Ah! You used a bit of tactical there. I was trying to get a cellier over the line.

I was going, I'm going to go for Hoggleback, I think. I was hoping that you would go. No, it sounded like something Harry Potter-y, so I thought someone's come up with that. Yeah. And I'll go back. And when you said hog sheep, when I heard one of them was hog sheep I was like oh no I've operated on it. Double hog. Basic level here. Oh yeah you've both gone for hog. Hog yeah hedgehog yeah. Hedgehog.

So was I right then? That means you were also right Dan the moon rat is correct so two points to you that round. You're on the board. I'm in the lead I think. Another point for Josh. We're driving. Oh, and we're joined with a house. Well and Josh, because Josh scored a point in each round. Yeah bitch. So everyone's on two apart from Celia.

You guys carry on, I'll just wait here. I'll catch up with you after. Wait here? What, like in the studio? You guys get ahead. You're going to exit the game you got out all right question three I forgot to mention I'm not competitive on these things okay great I am very told you to get you're gone I don't look I don't know cuz

there's someone in me that thinks someone who makes a point of saying I'm not competitive when they're losing that feels a bit competitive question three this one comes from Katie Watson from Sunderland in the UK oh where abouts is Sunderland no feast no face that's that's that's beautiful I think it would be S to... Sunderland's beautiful spot? Yeah, really nice. I'll have to... I'll put on my list. Uh, must be in Sassay I think. Oh no, stop that Katie! He's smacking off your only Sunderland listener. Our only Sunderland listener Katie Watson asks what discovery did scientific researchers at Queen Mary University of London publish in 2012. So they came up, they made some sort of niche scientific discovery in 2012. What was it? While you're writing, I'll let the audience know a bit more about moon rats.

According to Britannica, they are a large Southeast Asian insectivore that is essentially a primitive tropical hedgehog with a long tail and fur and set of spines. Despite their name, moon rats are not rodents, although they have a slim body, small unpigmented ears, small eyes and a tapered muzzle with long whiskers. Julian writes hedgehogs are part of a family formerly known as Aranaceidae. They are a varied species and can have spines or hair. This particular subspecies can appear almost entirely white. They're pretty ugly moon rats I reckon. Maybe not. I guess it's all about what you're into. That's what a moon rat

looks like. Oh. Do you know what? I'm glad I don't know about them Yeah absolute munters Like the rat from a what's the one with the turtles the ninja? Yeah splinter? Yes? Yeah? Yeah? I hope they all die Come back on the moon you rat All right, the answers are in for question three What discovery did scientific researchers at Queen Mary University of London publish in 2012? It takes twice as long to digest a Big Mac compared to a whopper There is an extra disk in the human back that then they initially thought There is an extra disk in the human back that then they initially thought

The person's mental health directly correlates to how much blood they have in them a goat speak with local accents What light produced by mobile phones can trigger insomnia or iron can have the same? I'm gonna have the same molecular properties as a drop of Red Bull. I'm going to go go. You're going to go. Yeah, because I remembered someone having a routine about an animal having an accent. And then I'm like, so that could be what that was. Yeah. Right. Well, I actually thought you've just taught me out of it.

Yeah, I was just thinking that. I think goat. I think the goat thing is yours and you're trying to get us to vote for it. I'm not allowed to vote for myself and I'm all in goat baby. I'm not changing my mind, I'm all in. I can't not. The goat isn't mine. Always the other... Yeah what? These were so good by the way

The Big Mac versus whopper digestion time that that's I'm writing that one off Extra disk in the human back that could have him that could be true Mental health relates to how much that's so funny. I think that could be true White light produced by mobile phones can trigger insomnia Or iron can have the same molecular properties as a drop of red bull. The true one is that the phone one? But that's not niche I'm gonna go for the last one iron and red bull. Yep But I'm not gonna lock it in yet though. I'll see what Sally has. But the phone one, so that's true right?

It keeps you awake. It keeps you awake, that's not, is that niched in the question? I'm gonna go for the phone one. I'm honest. I'm gonna go for the phone one. No did you say phone? Wait. Yeah I'll go for phone as well.

You're gonna go for phone? I know I feel stupid going with go No Molecular final answer lock it in molecular. That is very scientific What was the back what the back one? There's an extra disc in the human back I can't think of anyone how many discs are in a human back. I don't really know what this case Yeah, I've heard you know you get your discs adjusted. People slip discs. Yes, because I know someone who have a slip disc so there must be discs. Yeah, there are. How many discs? Yeah, what are they? There's different

lengths of backs. Like I don't have the same amount of discs as a toddler. You do. Do I? Yeah. We're all made of this. We're all made. I think just grows differently. That's crazy Yeah, like that's what we should be talking about. You have the same amount of ribs as you did when he was fine Yeah, don't just grow you don't just turn 27. I'm like, oh I do read But I got mine taken out to fit in this dress I got my take out for a different reason but the invert to I got mine taken out for a different reason. But, um, the, oh, it's invert- invert-a-braille disc is what it's short for. The spongy cushions that separate the bones of the spine.

Okay. I'm still going goat. I'm still going phone. I'm gonna go molecular. Okay. All right, here's where I wrote the answers. Big Mac versus, uh, the whopper. That was the house.

Yeah, I like how you ruled it out. I'm like, that's the whopper that was the house Yeah, I like you rule it out like that's the kind of bullshit that they would yeah When I'm saying it's all part of a wider tactic you know I mean yeah, I wanted to rule the water anyway I was Josh was really close to going for the extra disk on you were really curious about that Oh, yeah, is that cuz you wrote it? I did quite well in the back midlife That was good Back and double check that you did right?

I only tried to push it over cuz when Dan seemed maybe when you went for that I was so I genuinely did think that was bollocks but I just wanted to kind of like throw me off my I don't think they found out we had an extra day that's so funny. But it could have been deep down. Yeah. I was trying to think of some of the in the human body and a part of discs and a note, because just because I know someone

who's had a slipped disc recently, but I didn't know what a disc was, so I didn't think use would. Do you know those films where you can track back the lies based on what was in the room? Earlier in the car. Do you know what I'm talking about? Like earlier Josh was talking about how he went bouldering and he almost fell and hurt his back. Oh, no I said leg?

I did yeah. I nearly hurt my leg this morning. Are there discs in legs? I probably. That's where they found the extra one. There will be the next question. A person's mental health relates to the amount of blood

that was in the house. Yeah, that was just nonsense. No, but there is something in that because platelets and stuff, like my sister's had to have blood things and if you've not, if your bloods are down, you feel really pissed off and grumpy. So there is actually

something in that. I stumbled upon something there. Dan you went for iron and has the same molecular properties as a drop of red bull. That was Celia. That was righty now. I was certain. What was the actual right and... I haven't got to that yet because Cel you went for white light produced by mobile phones contribute triggering somebody that was Dan Josh was correct don't speak with local accent Free parts for me well No, no get free in general, but Dan's also on three because he got a point there because Celia

So that means... Guys, I feel really bad. I feel like I've got... I feel like I don't have a lot of blood in me. I'm starting to feel really sad. That was a great answer. Right? I thought so. Which got you on the board as well.

I love it on the board. But you guys carry on without me on the board. You got a point on the board. You're now one, the house is on two, but out in front, Josh and Dan on three points a piece. It's still all that to play for. It's anyone's game. It's all that.

I come up to the halfway mark. This one comes from Cody Kelshaw from Boise, Idaho. Hi, Cody. And Cody's question is, what interesting method did the state of Idaho use to protect their wetlands in 1948? What interesting method did the state of Idaho use to protect their wetlands in 1948? What interesting method did the state of Idaho use to protect their wetlands in 1948?

While you're writing your answers, here's a little more info about the goats. Oh, yeah. According to Katie, goats can recognize each other's way of speaking and in turn not recognize other goats that have come from different places. Just like us they find it easier to understand their local friends. I can just imagine a goat from a different area coming to ask for

directions and a bunch of other goats scratching their heads. What's the Sunderland accent? What's the Sunderland accent? I can't do it. I can't really do it. It's like, it's a bit like a, do you know what a Newcastle accent sounds like? They'd hate me to say that, but it's not a million miles. It's not a million miles. But it is different. I think he might be from Sunderland. Or is he from Middlesbrough? I don't know. I can't remember.

Yeah. No comment. No comment. Oh, I was going to say if I could try and do it, but yeah, cause Katie says this is what the goats might say, but I don't know how to do it. What's the, how does Ross name of Ross? Little vole. He says vole a lot. That's all I know Which is an animal in England? I can't do accents. I can only do mine. You do a fantastic Manchester. Yeah, this is it. This is all I can do. Such a good accent But anyway, she imagines the goat saying stuff like, an out of town goat saying, which way is it to the boozer, mate?

You're gonna have to say that again, so pretty fun. Hey, while you're still running around, let's go for a quick break. ["The Boosers", by The Boosers, playing in background.] ["The Boosers", by The Boosers, playing in background.] All right, we're back and the answers are in for question number four. What interesting method did the state of Idaho use

to protect their wetlands in 1948? Beavers were dropped via... They were dropped in a box via parachute. They made walls using bags of potatoes. They created dams using a mixture of concrete and potatoes to keep streams from eroding the wetlands. A massive umbrella. A big jacket over it like a gentleman in a 1950s film. They prohibited tourists from visiting them. That was so funny. Whoever wrote that. That is the most Obran, Selle and joke. I thought the massive umbrella was you.

No, I want to follow whoever wrote that. That's so good. Finally, they prohibited tourists from visiting them under the threat of being shot. Shot? Yeah. I don't know if it's Idaho, a big gun country. It's a big step. It's quite dark, a bit dark. So it was wetlands, is that right? Wetlands, yeah. So beavers dropped by parachute.

I'll be that. Bags of potato. You know about that, wouldn't you? Yeah, cause I would, the beavers open the parachute and wouldn't they bite through the wires? And yeah, do they have to use two beavers, you know, like a tandem kind of thing? You'd have the more experienced beaver. Yeah, yeah, yeah, like it's all right, mate. I love the beavers, you know, like a tandem? You have the more experienced baby. Yeah. Yeah, like it's alright mate

I love the millions of the beef of the beavers in Narnia. Have you seen no? Doesn't matter. I just really enjoyed Dan saying I can't be that I've really important thing as well as is what how is that even solving the wetlands issue? I guess I like right create dams, okay? All right another point then why not just why parachute them? Yeah Yeah, yeah, what's on 48? I don't know if it was I don't know the house. I think you Have I think it's the potato in concrete one that sounds like it could be but it also does sound a lot like the mind of Josh Jones

That's my other concern If it is Josh, I feel like an idiot We a potato state what was the one spud state? Idaho they had two different potato ones though Yeah, I made using, they made walls using bags of potatoes. And a second one. That sounds simple. Creating dams using a mixture of concrete and potatoes.

What's the word dams? What's dams? Creating dams. Dams, yeah. D-A-M-S? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm gonna go with this because I don't think either of them would use the word dams.

Okay. Dams turning. But also I wouldn't, I don't think either of them would use the word dams Damn standing, but I wouldn't you I I wouldn't I didn't know that the potatoes in Idaho Okay, we Yeah, but j2 No, I didn't know it was I didn't know Idaho was a potato play there are three because there's a big jacket It's also a potato. Oh, so these three potato ones? I don't know if the big jacket one was intended that way but big jacket over it That was so funny. That was really funny actually really clever and true and relatable. Yep, and more importantly

It makes you think it does That's a real triple threat there. What were the last one? last one? last one Tourists would be shot if they went there That just sounds so dark that it feels like it must be true. Why would that help? Because I don't know if that's that unusual haven't people been shooting people for going to land for ages I don't know no like farmers, but not like Like if you come from one state or another you don't get just get

shot doesn't it sound like a video game like if they were like loads of like beavers coming out the sky and you have to shoot them it does like that we can shoot them with potato guns yeah I'm gonna go for the shoe in the shooting I I wanna go concrete, damn potato, that might be it. No, no, no, it can't be. Oh no, no. I think it sounds good. Right. I- How do you do that one?

Now I think, I'm gonna, all right, I'm gonna go for the shooting as well. Shooting as well. I can't be bothered choosing one of the potato things I just I just think that it's gonna be Josh's one that I've picked again So I have a question I should have asked this before. What is a wetland? I think it's like a like a marsh or what would you what would English be called a wetland? In my mind I was thinking when a dam breaks I was thinking like that sort of thing and that it's flooded the land. for the flooded the land. I'm going to go for the concrete one, the concrete and potatoes.

No, actually, they don't have concrete. I'm going to go for the potato bags. It's a wetland is an area, a very wet, muddy land with wild plants growing in it. It's like, you know, like a it's like national parks, but they're, you know, birds and I'm going gonna go for the shooting shooting No, I'm not it's all three. I don't like this game Can we play Monopoly? I'm God big umbrella big umbrella jackets. Yeah, no big umbrella jacket jacket

Potato bags potato in concrete. What was the last two? Beaver drop. Beaver drop. Was there another one? Shooting on site. Shooting on site. All of these sound bad. Shoe bags. Big umbrella.

Go for the big umbrella. No don't. I reckon. It makes sense. The lunge to wear. Big umbrella to stop it. I want shoe. You'd go shooting.

Yep. Man a good bag. Is it to stop people from shooting? No. It's a good bag. It's a good bag. It's a good bag. It's a good bag. It's a good bag. It makes sense the lines do where and the big umbrella I went shooting you to go shooting. Yep. I'm gonna go but back is it to stop people going there, right? No I would say it was a lot to protect the wetlands. Yeah, he is gonna go for the big umbrella I'm gonna go for the bag big umbrella, but they Know concrete potato concrete lock it in

Congratulations, Josh. you got me again Big jacket like a gentleman in 1950s film. That was Celia. What? Which is so beautifully written. So beautiful, so good. Joke at a fast for me. Josh wrote, uh, bags of potatoes. Yeah, I didn't put the concrete at mine, it was just bags of potatoes.

Celia went for concrete and potatoes. That was Cody Cody the questioner writer. I like Cody we should meet up he sounds great. He sounds like a good guy. Being shot on sight that was the house. The correct answer is beavers were dropped with parachutes. No way! Isn't that crazy? That is crazy. Little boxes and that once they landed they'd open and then apparently like yeah, they just I don't know That's so beautiful. Oh, so they didn't have to open the parachute themselves No, I think they must have been self-opening parachutes, I guess. Yeah, but I'd like to think that they open themselves

Self-opening parachutes in the fart. I've just looked up the Narnia ones, they look fantastic Yeah, the Narnia beavers are good in the in like the 2000 so in like the 80s one and that was just like people in costumes and in the 2001 it was Don French and Ray Winston. Oh really? Yeah, they were Mr. and Mrs. Beaver and they were a really cute couple That means that round the house got all three points and has jumped back into the lead so Sally's on one Josh and Dan's on three but out in front on four points it's the house so we're up to question number five. Can I just say I think the problem with this game is that actually if you

win that means that no one would ever trust you again. Oh that's right. So maybe maybe by losing. You're the real winner. I'm the real winner in the long run. I think that's true and I also think this helps prove that you definitely aren't competitive. I don't think it's getting to you in any way. You've got to remember you've got to remember that there is a life out there outside of this studio. You did try like five different answers before and then changed it and changed it I was sensing a bit of competitive. I didn't want to fall for another one of Josh's because I I know that we've got 12 days left at this point and he would make fun of me so much

I would then I would do the falling for your lies. No You believed I'm gay for years. Lol. Absolute clangor. Question five comes from Marcus Brisman from Gothenburg in Sweden. Gothenburg. That sounds fun. Gothenburg.

Yeah. I haven't been to Sweden. Sounds like a nice place. You're all stunning and tall. I feel right at home there Really comfortable Marks's question is which common English language word is a normal name in Sweden apparently is about 28,000 women in Sweden named to this common English word and

While you're writing your answers here's some more info about Idaho's beaver drop. According to Cody, beavers were considered crucial to the health of Idaho's wetlands, as they helped to reduce erosion, improve water quality, and created habitats for birds and fish. Idaho's beaver population, however, had reached low levels after over-hunting for the fur trade, and in order to reintroduce beavers, the US Department of the Interior had began, had been relocating beavers to the state since 1936. However, transporting beavers on land, as done since the 1930s, was arduous, prolonged, expensive

and resulted in high mortality. So apparently some guy had the idea to start parachuting them in in and they did this with leftover World War II parachutes and lidless wooden boxes. That's how they got out of them. Do you know who Nancy Wake is? She was an Australian spy in the war in World War II. But she was like, she moved to France.

She was living in France for ages and she lived in the UK, but she's Australian and she was a spy and she She jumped out of a helicopter in like a heels and a fur coat because that was a disguise And jumped out and parachuted in that just thought you would like to know Was that a beaver fur coat maybe she was she was one who inspired the beaver maybe maybe you'd hate to be the beaver that doesn't get picked for that I don't know get thrown out of play no you just be like be quite happy all right yeah I'll stick on the river thanks and you can all go off there would you like if all you make if all your beaver friends jumped would you jump would you jump? Yeah?

Yeah, into an auto wetland yet. That's been taking me to see one beaver jumper. Do it. They dropped sheep 76 beavers beaver sheep and all but one survived Which is a nice way of saying one of them one of them brutally murdered really the worst Oh, that's like so much. I saying one of them one of them brutally murdered the worst I had that the wrong way around and it was so much dark yeah no one only one didn't survive I might have said it back yeah if you saw that if you were just like walking down the wetland and you saw like beavers coming died be mad all right answer him for question five which common English language word is a normal name in Sweden

28,000 women in Sweden are named this broom gun shovel chlamydia King Charles all Azania What was the first one broom broom broom is my answer broom walking in broom My name was broom. I'd like that after the great night. Yeah, right now. Yeah, wait. Canroom. What can in broom? If my name was Broom I'd like that. I feel that's a great name.

That's a great name. What? Wait, can you say them all again? Broom, gun, shovel, chlamydia, King Charles, lasagna. Kick is not King Charles. Definitely not King Charles. This is so silly. Yeah, kick, yeah. Yeah, yeah

King said his first words What with it so? broom broom gun shovel chlamydia king Charles lasagna Is lasagna in English words is lasagna in English But it's like English language yeah English language. Yeah, it's a common English word lasagna It's with an e King Charles. It's a common English language I'm leaning towards lasagna now I'd love a lasagna I'd love a lasagna I had a carbonara last night right I never get that why like you have the carbonara so then

someone couldn't have a lasagna I guess it's pasta but I could have a lasagna you were doing that thing I'm just saying that I could have a lasagna as well understand you know like I know I can't's pasta but they're very different. No I could have a lasagna. I thought you were doing that thing with me. No I'm just saying that I could have a lasagna as well. I understand. You know sometimes people are like, oh no I can't eat pasta, I ate pasta last Wednesday. But I think like people in Italy will eat Italian food all the time, why can't I? People in Italy eat Italian foods all the time. That's Josh's hot take.

Yeah. I don't think they have other cuisines I think they just call it foods there this is my impression of an Italian I really fancy some Italian food I'm so sorry broom broom broom broom broom Thinking gun actually you've just done a shot one as well You just answered a shoe in the quiet love. I love shooting What are you gonna go they're Broom. They're both going broom. I'm gonna go gun.

My second answer was King Charles. Okay. Well, unfortunately the rule is you can't pick your own. So yeah, and you did write King Charles, which I thought was fantastic. Thank you so much. Yeah, again your writings. Brilliant. I feel like I should have gone broom, you know. I'm regretting not going broom. Broom is beautiful. What does it mean? are you double bluffing? What do you mean? I'm seeing a few double He's he's breathe. I'm going King Charles

Was Josh I know you did AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJ If you'd have made me choose lasagna, that's a Swedish name I would, I'd never forgive myself. That's why I double bluffed and said is it even? Yeah, yeah that was good. There was a lot of layers to that lasagna bit. I need to be... Very good, Chlamydia. Chlamydia was the house. Little bit cheesy. Shovel was Marcus, okay, the house.

Shovel. Broom was Dan. Oh! Maybe the correct answer is Gunn. So Dan got all three points. Wow, what a round. What a beautifully played round for Dan. Broom is such a nice name.

I'm gonna change my name to Celia A. Broom. It's really nice. What a beautifully played room is such a nice name. I'm going to change my name to sell you a broom I've been saying broom like a BRU me Yeah, but it's a broom Good room because broom in French are there so many layers to this broom in French is It's like What do you call it mist? It's a bit misty and I thought that Foggy and I thought that'd be like a beautiful name to be like all this. Yeah, my name was fog That's I think foggy such a shit word for a for such a beautiful thing

Yeah, I think this is quite nice, fucks reminds me bug. Yeah, but it's a log Like back in the day didn't it used to be dead foggy All right, well we got just two rounds to go and the scores are now Celia on one Josh on three the house on, but out in front on six points, Dan. Right, so I'm just gonna just choose, my game now is to just choose Celia's. I'm gonna try and figure out which one's hers. Question six comes from, I'm not gonna win.

So is it gonna be that? Whoa, what is this? That's not very good sportsmanship. And don't forget, triple points in the final round. Okay, fine, still get my play So your question six comes from Amy Moretti from Cumbernauld in Scotland Amy You heard of that is that but no I've heard of Cumbernauld, but I can't I don't know in what context I've heard of it Have you heard of Cumbernauld that might have been when you were?

You know what if I'm honest, I think I was Have you heard of Cumbernauld? That might have been when you heard it. Was it? I don't know. I've got a reason actually. Do you know what, if I'm honest, I think I was... It's from CrowdWork. Someone was CrowdWorking and someone was from Cumbernauld. Oh. The question from Amy from Cumbernauld is... He listens. ...what was a Reuters headline... Oh no, Reuters.

Fuck, I had trouble with... It's Reuters, right? What's a Reuters? It's like that big news organization. It doesn't matter, whatever they are. Big news organization, yeah. Big news organization, yeah. Cleared that one up there.

Oh, it's a big news organization. What was a Reuters headline on the 6th of October, 2012? You just gotta write a headline, news headline. On the 6th of October 2012. 2012 that's right. Is this our second 2012 thing? Anyhow while you're writing those answers, according to Marcus the name gun derives from the word gunner, I don't know how to pronounce that, which means battle and apparently between 1991 and 94 the Swedish Minister for Justice was it was someone called Gunn Helvick which apparently caused a bit of mirth during a visit to the USA. Bit of

fun. Hey, answers are in for question number six. What was a Reuters headline on the 6th of October 2012? Scotland buys northern English city of Hull. Man adopted at age of 35. Dogma mayor sacks entire police force man marries his own reflection or blue and green honey makes French beekeepers see red or Obama produces birth certificate and puts to bed controversy about citizenship so you got Scotland buys northern English city of Hull man adopted at the age of 35 dog mayor sacks entire police force, man marries his own reflection, blue and green honey makes French beekeepers see red or Obama produces

birth certificate and puts to bed. What's that blue and green honey? Blue and green honey makes what? French beekeepers see red. I mean if that is a fake one that is really well written. What does that mean? That sounds like a headline. Yeah, see red.

What does that mean to see red? See red like a headline. Yeah, see red. What does that mean? See to see red like angry. Yeah, but why would we be mad at blue and Well, that's it. That's why loads of conservatives in America did want to get Obama to show his birth That's right. Yeah, no bird birders the bird the move. I don't know if I can't remember if he did it And I don't know what year it was. Hmm Yeah, when was he in power? It was Trump wasn't it? I think that's how Trump got his first started getting into politics was yelling I think was yelling yelling about Obama that he wasn't actually a man

His cameo in Home Alone 2 That's the beginning of his campaign. The dog one was dog mayor sacks entire police force. Dog mayor? Dog mayor. Okay. You say mayor well we're there I've noticed that. Wait how do you say mayor? I say mayor. Oh you do say I thought that was like a southern US sort of thing. Mr. Mayor. Mayor. I don't say mayor. I say mayor. Mayor. I don't go mayor. Mayor's like... A horse. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I think... Mayor. Yeah. Mayor's a nice sheep, mate. But like, yeah, mayor. Mayor. Mayor. Mayor. How do you say mayor? I don't speak to those people. Okay. Mayor. Mayor. Mayor. Mayor. Mayor. Mayor. So I think you're going through them then, weren't you? Yeah, yeah.

I'll do them one more time and then you just lock in whichever one comes to your mind Dan. Scotland buys Northern English city of Hull, man adopted at the age of 35, dog mare sacks entire police force, man marries his own reflection, blue and green honey makes French beekeepers see red or Obama produces birth certificate putting to bed controversy. I'm gonna just use and say the blue and green honey, yeah. I wanted to do that but then I felt like, should I pick something different? Just so we'd just try and keep the competitive element

of the game alive. No, we can be friends. Choose the reflection one. I think that's Josh's. What, the reflection? Man, that's something Josh would say. Are we? No.

Yeah, I feel, I can see you. I think that's what's- Okay, that was mine. What the reflection? That's something Josh would say Oh it's not? I can see you Okay that was mine No it's not How did you know it was mine? Because I can see you writing this down in your joke book I feel like the Obama thing might be true, but I don't know the year So I'm gonna just go Obama did Obama did 2008 to 2012. No, you did eight years, right? Yeah. Yeah till 2014

No, 2028 16 was it? Yeah, maybe that sounds about right Alright, here's the right the answers Scotland buys hull. That was the house I realized I didn't have any ready and I rushed those out. Does that make any sense? Scotland buys Hull? Yeah, that's probably unlikely. Well I mean, you can't buy a sitter. I feel like you could work out that that doesn't make any sense. It was panic writing that one. Dogmare, Saxon type police force, also the house. The house were trippin'.

No, no, no, didn't make a lot of sense. Celia wrote, man adopted at age of 35. That was a good one. I thought so, right? Josh wrote, man marries his own reflection. I thought that was good. Dan wrote, Obama produces a person who's a general. That was horrible.

I thought that was yours, yeah. That means blue and green honey makes French beekeepers see red. Yes! Were you living in France in 2012? I was the beekeeper. Oh my god. I was angry at you. What an advantage you have.

That's what the bee stands for. See red angry. I thought change the cab is it. I was in France at the time, yeah. We've been in this room for so long now. We're up to the final question. Dan got two points that round I believe. Because you got it right and you were guessed.

And Sally got a point. So scores going into the final round. Sally's on two, Josh on three, house on five. But way out in front now on eight points is Dan. Still anyone's game going in the final round. Triple points up for grabs. This one comes from Captain Bon Clay from Ohio and the question is... Captain? Captain? Captain!

Whoa! This guy can make a break here. What is the plot for the novel Jam by Ben Yahtzee Crosshaw. Crosshaw. So you just got, this one would be a little, probably your longest answer, it'd be, you know, like a short paragraph, maybe three, four sentences. It's called Jam.

It's a novel called Jam, and you just gotta give us the... Do we know when the novel was written? Uh, no, it doesn't say, sorry. While you're writing those answers, here's the part of that honey article. It was written by Patrick Genthen from Mulhouse in France. Bees at a cluster of apiaries in Northeastern France

have been producing honey in mysterious shades of blue and green, alarming their keepers who now believe residue from containers of M&M's candy processed at a nearby plant is the cause. Beekeepers around the town of Ribéville in the region of Alsace have seen... am I getting close to these French words at all Celia? Have you heard it? Am I saying Rebeville? Rebeville. Rebeville in Alsace? Alsace.

Alsace. Is it Alsace? That's so funny. Where is it? Over my clothes? Alsace. Alsace. Alsace.

Alsace, which is... It's lalsace. Lalsace. A bit like salsa. lulzass. Lulzass. Lulzass. So yeah, basically the bees, they started finding that they were making blue and green honey,

and it was because the bees were going to the bins where M&Ms were being made, and they were sucking up the candy and the bright colours from those shells. That's crazy. The M&M shells ended up into the honey and the The B people from this place near Strasbourg. We're not happy Swasberg Swasberg Swasberg. Oh my god. I'm so I'm knowing you been a hard word

It's you I mean I'll such a is has been a highlight is has been a highlight that's my festival moment I've done I've done another podcast to do we tell store like stories from history and I told this whole story set in France and yeah people really enjoyed it the way I had to say a lot of French words yeah I mean because I I mean that was I was really trying hard on those. I could tell. Alright, answering for the final question, what is the plot to the novel Jam by Ben Yazzie-Croshaw? These are gonna be mental.

A man is murdered in a jam factory. In DC, Janet Scott and Rachel Bailey have to solve the crime whilst also trying to resolve their chaotic lives Janet Janet's daughter is falling in love with her own stepbrother and Rachel's ex-lawyer boyfriend pays a drug dealer to kill her Lock on on their Scott and Bailey What a coincidence that's option one option I actually didn't What a coincidence. That's option one, option two. I actually didn't write that. That's what Josh said. I feel like one of yous would have wrote that to throw me under the bus.

But yeah, I mean, shows get novelized all the time. Yeah. I've been listening to X-Files books recently. This next one. Sarah is a trad wife who loves living the trad life. Each evening she waits for her husband, Jeremy. What's trad? Traditional. Okay. Like... That's salier. She waits for her husband, Jeremy, every evening to return from work when she hands him his newspaper slippers and his favorite treat, a hot jam doughnut.

But things take a turn when one morning, Jeremy wakes up dead. An autopsy shows he has been poisoned and his wife and the doughnuts are the prime suspect. How is Sarah going to get out of this jam? That's you! That has to be you! That is definitely you! I think it sounds like a really good book. Option 3. Jam is a murder mystery about a group of people stuck in traffic. Option 4. One morning, Travis wakes up in his apartment in Brisbane to discover the city has been covered in a three-foot layer of man-eating strawberry jam.

Travis teams up with other survivors, including his roommate Tim, journalist student Angela, game designer Don Sunderland, and a giant spider named Mary as they attempt to escape the jam. A triptych of interwoven stories that take place during the morning commute on a day when the traffic is particularly bad. We meet courier driver Jan Seen, desperate to deliver a brain for a transplant.

Derek on his way to break it off with his secret lover and Princip, a humanoid egg, who is so stressed out on the way to a pitch meeting that he just might crack. You had me hit till humanoid egg. Will they make it on time? And how do all these stories relate? Check out this ahead of its time dark comedy novel to find out the answers to these questions and so much more.

I want this book to be real, the last one. If I'm gonna go is that one. There's one last one to check. Oh no, let's just keep it going. Finally an overworked stockbroker has hit rock bottom. His wife is having an affair and his kids barely know him. Today he has had enough and he wants to kill the catalyst a particularly bad traffic jam. I feel like I could have been ripped by many male comedians. Yeah I really like the one before I hope it's that one because it's really like. That sounds good.

Like I hope even if one of you came up with that you should like pitch it. Yeah. Because I know whoever came up with the first one they should pitch that one as well. What was the first one again? Well I think it's sort of already Scott and Bailey. It's you! I think it's definitely got something to do. So, I could have changed the names and it would have been realistic. I did just choose their plot points.

Okay. You're admitting it now, yeah. Are you locking that in, Celia? So here's what I think, I don't think that's the right answer, but I just really like the vibe of that one. You want to reward the writing? Yeah. What was the sharp one? There was a really sharp jam is a murder mystery about a group of people stuck in traffic How would that work? No my

The other thing is that you just leave the question is em What's the plot right? Hmm, so I? Sellea locked her answer in is that officially in she can't yeah, I don't think it's the plot, right? So I, is Celia locked her answer in? Is that officially in? She can't change it. I don't think it's the right one, but I just like the right. So I think any that have gone for the like, available in stores soon, like that's just like someone trying to make it seem

more real than it is, right? Yeah. So, the short one, that seems like quite, quite like it could be that. However, that doesn't sound like a very good novel A murder mystery in traffic. Yeah, you've not told me anything about it But I love the breakfast club, but that's just a bunch of people in detention. I watched it. Yeah, that's not a novel Is it a film? Yeah

Yeah, different different thing. Yeah, but I mean novel is sad chunky long story. Yeah, but he still sounds sad. I don't know. There's a have you seen Waiting for Godot? Have you heard of Waiting for Godot? No, it's a Surrealist play where it's just two guys in the woods waiting for this guy Godot and That's what the book is about and Godot doesn't show up. Yeah, and Godot is like, I don't know if you can tell It's about God. It's hidden there in plain sight, isn't it? Yeah.

Yeah, the Bible had a manoeuvre on their own for ages and that's dead famous. Yeah. And this has got, but this has got more than that. This has got a traffic jam and a murder mystery. Right. One sentence, but it is saying a lot. And that, the film, The Phone Box,

there was a guy trapped in a phone box, and that's even smaller than a tap set. Is that, oh, that's the film in New York, right? Yeah. Oh, I wanna rewatch that. Colin Farrell. I'm having a tough one with this. I don't know.

I was gonna choose the sharp one, but I feel like Danny's double bluffing to make it not look like it was that because he was on his phone for ages which made me think he wrote a really sharp one oh and then just sat on his phone I think you are thinking too much into this it's a 3d chest you think that because you were gonna choose that one I, I've then gone, no, it's not that. Yeah. Even though you were going to choose it. That wouldn't be a very good strategy.

It's really relaxing to pick one that I know is like wrong. Yeah. And now you can just sit back. I think yours might be right. They sound just so good. Honestly, the thing I love, do you know when films have different stories and they're all connected at the end? Yeah. I love that stuff. I was with that one until I got a no idea. I'm gonna pick the first one Actually, you're right that I was joking I didn't write that one of you must have so why are you choosing it then? Okay?

I was asking you to teach me how to play poker as well and I feel like I don't think I'll be good at it. Yeah. I think he plays poker right. And I think that it's a sharp one and he's been on his phone. Oh, look like he was right. I'm a longer than anyone. you think I chose that one? And I think you wrote that one. Okay.

So I'm not gonna pick that then, cause that would give him a pain. What is even left though? So there's the one with the murder thriller. The trad wife, trad life with the killer donut, the murder mystery in traffic, the man eating strawberry jam, on stock overworked stockbroker Kids barely know him

He wants to kill and and it all kicks off because of a bad traffic jam I'm gonna go for the sharp one. I would say rarely the the movies or books for this last question Do they tend to be like big hits? I don't know but yeah, I mean I've never heard of this but yeah Maybe it is really good sense if it was like the plot of Lord of the Rings. Yeah, yeah Right, what was the one with the doughnut in it? That was the Sarah the trad wife living a trad life What was the last line of the Sarah one? How is Sarah gonna get out of this jam?

That was you. That has to be it. Right, yeah. And another year. No? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You would have. That's a Selly Ray B tweet right there.

Yeah, yeah. 12 likes. Okay, so not that one. So left, we've got the stockbroker, we've got the short one, which is the murder in the traffic jam. Yep. The killer man-eating strawberry jam. That's the one Selle has gone with. No, no. I've gone for the one with the...

With the humanoid egg. Oh. I just like the word humanoid. What was the other one then? The other one? DC Janet Scott and Rachel Bailey. No, not that, that's... We get about that, please I'll try and briefly go through them all

Yeah, and then I'll answer So we had DC Scott and Bailey Then we had the trad wife living a trad life with a doughnut The short one about the murder mystery and the traffic Then you had the man-eating strawberry jam And the gang of survivors, like sort of an apocalyptic story then you've got the triptych of stories including the humanoid egg and then you got the overworked stockbroker hit rock bottom do you ever think sometimes this format is too complicated? I'm gonna go for the second one

the one how's she gonna get out of this jam? wife tried last yeah, all right look I know for Josh You're just choosing sell it as one The short one that Josh was gonna choose all right I'm gonna choose all right. I'm gonna go for a different one then I'm gonna go for the stuck in the taxa Okay, what's that one the short one which was stuck in the taxia okay what's that one sure one which was stuck in the taxi one well one way like in traffic oh why why are they not in a taxi picture all the stockbroker sorry yeah I thought everybody was in a taxi no other what the stockbroker is in a particularly bad traffic jam oh what these notes no taxi I think there's three different traffic jams and I'm okay the guy that's got a wife and kids and he wants to kill people

the stockbroker one yeah all right look at that in for Josh here's who wrote the answers I will take that note on board that this is too complicated for a show. Yeah, I think it's a bit complex Actually, we're up to episode 84 Hang on, we're gonna scrap this and start again. Now all of the answers are locked in, I've played an absolute blinder Here's who wrote the answers, Josh did write the one about Scott and Bailey I chose yours, hadn't I? Trad wife living the trad life. You all thought that was Celia, that was me, that was the house.

Oh no, oh god, oh no, what have I done? What have I done? The short one which Dan went for, that was Celia. Ahhhhhhh! Have you chose the right one then? The egg? Josh went for the stockbroker hitting rock bottom, that was Dan. You really did just, you hurt him like you were a sheep dog. That's like a Mexican stand up. The interwoven story with the humanoid egg, that was also the house.

That's so good, yeah, get the deal. So it means that that means that the correct answer no one got it was about the man eating strawberry jam Yeah Thought there was guy was eating jam in the taxi It's not a man eating jam, it's a man eating jam. That's what there is a guy eating jam in a taxi in a traffic jam. Oh, that's fantastic. So that means Celia, Dan and the Hasker points there. I feel stoned. Me too, but that's because of the weed. stoned the novel is I think it's an English novel it's a Yahtzee cross

shore is a British Australian writer famous for video game reviews? I don't know, I guess so. So who's won the whole thing? Alright, final score check. Here it is. In... fourth place on three points, it's Josh. And you scored those three points bang bang bang in the first three rounds. Yeah, I lost momentum by then. I think that was around the time you said that you were changing tactics.

Yeah, that's right. And then when I started to understand the rules of the game, I lost. Hahaha! In third place on five points, it's Celia. Whee! In second place on six points, it's the house. But way out in front on 11 points, it's Dan. Have you had a comic beat the house before?

Yeah, the house doesn't tend to win too much. Oh, so he's not that special? No, the house is a bit of a loser really. I do never win anything though, so... No, but that's a big score. 11 points. Do you think your poker has helped? Yeah, I think so.

Do you? Well, just the strategy... More just the thinking about the strategy. Like, when you play poker, you have to think about like... I want to play poker now. You definitely heard of those three points back around to you. As the winner, you want to let people know where they can find you? At the casino.

Yeah, we don't get to pluck ourselves. What's the best social media to follow you on? Or do you have any? We have Ten and comedian. 10 and comedian. And if you could go ahead and block Josh Jones comedy and Celia AB. What about you Celia? Where can people find you? You can find me online, on the internet, on the web.

On your phone, AB Celia. You've got a very Google-able name. Thank you you I would imagine a lot more than Josh Jones yeah there's loads of me it's even my Instagram is Joshy Jones 92 because like there's even over Josh Jones is a tried comedy Josh Jones he didn't I don't think they've done stand-up I think they did I gig about seven years ago now Now. I can't do any Instagram My name if someone asked me like, oh, what's your name after I've been on?

I'll just say it to them and it's one of those names where it's a tiny bit weird So it just kind of you can just tell it they don't list. They're like, yeah Yeah, well, thanks so much for Joining us. Thanks so much everyone for listening. Give us a five star review if you want to tell your friends if you think you know anyone who might enjoy it. And cheers for tuning in to Who Knew It with Matt Stewart. Now that you know it, I've been Matt Stewart.

Goodbye. Thank you. Bye. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I figured out how to send a message now. Oh, fantastic.

Yeah. Yeah. For Josh, this is one of those like courses they do see you take the piss out of me because I still use just maps in my head so silly wait wait I do that I also do that well you use like city spinner or Google Maps but you use like the normal map that comes with the phone it's so badly done it doesn't tell you where you are trust it are you sure that it's so bad what does it better a new better app Google Maps that's some better than new better app Google Google Maps? There's some better than Google Maps Google Maps is the best I've been most fucked up thing you've had

Sorry, I'll switch sides. I'll take really rogue routes to place. Yeah, I'll go like by boat like down the town I was I was on the way to a gig and I got lost in a corn field and I didn't even know that we grew corn in the UK and I was so shocked. It's kind of like if I went out. I was like, wow, corn. Why did you think corn was like an exotic? I thought it was somewhere in the hot places. Just because it felt like signs, do you know the film signs? So I was like, it must be an American thing. And and then I was like do you have car in the UK?

I think it's fucked up that you use maps. I think it's At home you used cardboard cutlery You get in the shop. It's so with Google Maps. It like it like encourages you and stuff when you use it It's like well done. Take a left left well just to even things up a bit you're having to go at them about technology but only their answers have come through so far i sent it i sent it i oh actually i'm on i'm on airplane mode i sent it in a pigeon is that okay okay? Oh, it is sending now. Okay.

Fantastic. Okay. I was sending it on Google Maps. Have you got it? Yeah, I'm sure it's coming there. What about now? Do your guests normally have this much technical difficulties? Occasionally, but not...

Maybe for the first one, so we're lining out the problems. Yeah, that's right exactly guys I was being professional putting it on airplane mode So you're you're from French You French from France and now in Birmingham, is that right? I'm in London now, but I did live in Birmingham for seven years Do you guys know about Birmingham? I've been yeah been a Birmingham. What? Wow shows in Birmingham. You've done shows at the Glee

It's a nice club. It is not and for comedy food. It's pretty decent food The meals there for a comedy club are pretty decent Did you have any of that? I don't think I had any of that but it was it was like near Christmas time It was right near this Christmas fair. Oh the Christmas market in the German market. Yeah, that's pretty fun It's the it's the biggest it's probably not the biggest German because there's Germany. So yeah The biggest Christmas market in the UK. Yeah Yeah, yeah Manchester claims's Birmingham. Yeah, it's huge. I thought Manchester claims. No, I thought that.

I've said that out loud. I've said that. I've said to people, oh, we have the biggest one in the world. Well, it's smaller now. Yeah, people have been talking about it, Dan. They've been saying he's a liar. They've got rid of half of it now anyway. It's not as big.

Is it? No, but it has the Manchester one. This doesn't mean anything to any Australian listen you're from Manchester yeah we got Manchester listen I think we did I did a live one of this in Manchester did you where frog and did you see my picture on the wall that was a cool play I like that place yeah I love the frog yeah that's like our own oh did you like our own Third that was my third gig in there yet like when they do the new act the big do you do Kong shows here? Yeah I've seen Kong shows here where they just like there's no audience with cards

So a Kong show normally what we do it free members of the audience get cards And if all three go up you get like booed off and they come for absolute blood yeah and it's like really evil it's quite fun to watch actually I don't know I've never done one I think I fear them too much I just assumed it was whoever holds the gonger no oh no they give the audience the power and then the audience like boo a mark yeah but the audience don't really often the cardholder might not have a clue about comedy So someone's absolutely killing Flip someone could be like dying in there like no I like them

Yeah, I hate it when you after I don't I don't host them shows anymore because I feel like once I hosted it And there was a new comedian in his 50s and he was crying whilst I was hugging him and then I had to go on stage and take the piece out of him and it felt so mean. I do the frog one now and it is you do feel the next morning. You have to rip into that. Yeah and to have a good gig and make the gig good because some of it is rubbish so you need to like, you have to do it but then then the next morning you wake up like, oh no, I'm not following.

I made some people quit comedy last night. You generally have made people quit. Well, I don't know that for sure, but like I was pretty horrible to some people who had had a. I think if you could go back in time, would you? I'm, I'm like? To visit or to stay? Like let's say you have to like you have to stay. I think probably not just because like medicine and stuff.

Am I gay in this situation? You're yourself, you're the same. No, no. I'd go back to 2014. Oh man, I didn't think of that. But do you have another go at 2014? That's a great point. I thought I was thinking hundreds of years, but yeah, a few years back.

I'll go back last week. Yeah. Yeah. Well, then you just do you just relive like Brexit again? I can prevent it. I reckon. Oh, really? I could prevent Brexit. I could do it. What would you what would your strategy be?

I'd start a campaign about, hey, guys, isn't it great in the EU? I could prevent Brexit, I could do it. What would your strategy be? Just basic graphs. I'd start a campaign about, hey guys, isn't it great in the EU? You guys are not having a great time. The vibe is so good in the EU. Oh yeah, I think that would have done it. That would have beaten Farage. I would have met Boris Johnson, charmed him.

I sometimes think, do you know if you could go back in time and you can like teach them about the world? Yeah. Like I wouldn't know, like I'd teach them about electricity and they'd be like, how do we work it? And I'm like, I don't know. I don't know how to get it here. But just you wait and it'll come one day. What I think I would do is I would like, if could go back to 2014 I'd start a podcast then because they were oh, yeah, yeah start a podcast invest in crypto done. Oh, yeah Yes, okay. No my change my answer. Yes, I would go back. Yeah when you thought about in podcasting Yeah, when you tell me on podcasting imagine I could be up to episode 300 by now something bloody hell I could be up to episode 300 by now or something, bloody hell.

I sent in my answer. This is a bit of a tricky one. I'm actually really playing the game now. And what, what do you mean by that, Josh? What do you, you changed tactics now? Well, the first, no, the first tactics was just trying to figure out how to actually send the message. Josh is still looking for the studio on maps. When people, when I have to write and people are speaking around me, I'm just get so confused.

So now I've realized that I can do that. I'm just, um, now I'm going to play to win. Okay. Wow. Which might stop me actually getting points. I mean your strategy so far of just trying to get an answer and it's been working really well. It's kind of got me here today. That's got you right in someone's head. I'm not very, I just kind of go through life having a good time. If Celia picks your answer again then I think you're officially inside there. I feel like I know a psyche quite well. Yeah. Yeah.

It's nice in there and in my psyche. You guys should come and visit. I don't know what I've done to this. I was trying to. Just trying to neaten it up. I was trying to stim and. Where are we in Melbourne right now? We're in Brunswick.

Because we've just been picked up in a car and brought here I think we've been hijacked Brunswick is like cool Sort of, I guess There's a lot of cool people here I've never seen any more mullets than I have in Melbourne Yeah A lot of mullets

I don't know why that came a thing and I do I've been going into rock climbing Bulldozer in because I do that back at home. Oh, yeah, that's pretty big and There people at the climbing gym here are well better than at home Oh, this feels like you everyone's a professional climber and they all have tashes. Oh yeah. I went in one and it was yeah I guess that's why they all look good because they're so intimidating that normal people don't go in there more than once. Yeah yeah yeah. Isn't there like um there's songs about Brunswick like Julia Jacqueline or something. Probably yeah. Brunswick! Oh you know it? Yeah! What a place!

Wait I'm sure it is. Yeah I wouldn't be surprised if Julie Jacqueline, is she from Sydney or Melbourne? I don't know but I'm hoping for her to become my best friend when I'm here. Oh great. Are you from here? Yeah I am from here, I live here. Born and raised in Brunswick. Ah not quite Brunswick. But Melbourne. Melbourne yeah. Yeah.

Do you, um, would you say it's the best part of Australia? Oh, I don't know. Can you not say that? I don't have an image right now. No, I will say. I don't, I don't know. Yeah, right here. This studio.

What I've noticed is a lot of the Sydney comics here keep shitting on the weather. They're like, oh, it's so cold. And it's not even, we're from the UK. It's like, it's not even that cold. And there's not even way from the UK. It's like it's not even that cold. And there's some Sydney comics walking about with like big padded coats on. Relax. You've not come from the sun. Yeah, like you've been.

But they're really. Yeah, there's that's something that everyone's like, the weather here is shit. But I've thought it's been delightful. Yeah, it's sort of I mean, it's we're not coming in the autumn. It's getting a bit more wintry, but it's been delightful. Yeah, it's sort of, I mean, it's in, we're not coming in the autumn. It's getting a bit more wintery, but... It's still nice. Yeah. In winter, I lived in Melbourne years ago and everyone was like, no, trust me,

the winter will be pretty heavy. And I was like, nonsense, like not the winters I'm used to. And then it was some mornings that quite cold. But it's only about two months, isn't it? Yeah. And our winter is about two years. You know what it is? I think there's like, there's a difference in vibe between the British comics that have spent

the time in Britain, the last five months in Britain and the Australians, because you've just had a beautiful romantic 35 millimeter summer. Yeah. And we've come from the depth of five months of living in a shithole. In the dark. months of living in a shithole in the dark in the dark yeah it's so funny because like now I'm catching up to the Australian vibe of being happy but you guys are going into the yeah yeah we're going to the yeah the seasonal depression yeah but we're doing good yeah and you'll be home it'll be like

really kicking off like up 16 degrees we've kind of got an extra summer in our month. Yeah. We have. That's exactly what we have. You should come back next year. Are you doing the other festivals? We're doing the Fringe Edinburgh. Edinburgh.

We've got to get back to do our next Edinburgh shows. We've only got three more months to write it. This is actually a nice escape from that right now. Yeah great. But I remind you every day. Yeah yeah yeah. Oh yeah I don't know how to answer the question best place in Australia. I really like Hobart. I think it's quite fun. In Tasmania? Yeah. I might go there at the end of this trip for a couple of nights. It's even colder but it's not. I like it. I think this is a really cool place, but I've not been anywhere else in Australia Yeah, I think most of the big cities are vaguely like this. You know what I mean? Yeah, so like it's a like all the cities

Are only a few hundred years old max or everything we've done while we've been here We could just do at home like we were laser quest and stuff like that. We could have gone bouldering in yeah Yeah, I've not really done anything. I don't just do at home I've eaten some very nice food but you don't have vinegar on chips here oh vinegar on chips is so good yeah tomato sauce is the big thing on chips I asked for vinegar and they brought it in a bowl I was so confused yeah a dipping bowl yeah but it was white vinegar not malt vinegar I saw a map of the UK that showed that different regions have different chip toppings. There's like cheese in some places, gravy. You get like that paprika stuff on your chips. Yeah, like in the north you'll get

gravy. I love gravy. Yeah, gravy on chips is fantastic. That'd be crazy. When in my town there was a lake and Three years ago all the fish in the lake died at the same time and rose up to the top and no one can figure out What happens it pollution or something? I don't really know like something like they're all like died and then rose up to the top at once like 30,000 fish or something That must have been why I have an alibi Is he fall hours of it? bit yeah we show me yeah could you see water or was it just what just what's the

what's the line walk on fish what country is it then Sweden cool I've got I think I sent mine yeah you say you say it was in. Yeah Sorry, I said you have sent yours in this is gonna be so weird because we've never met before and like you just have messages of Me sending or bumping you in like five years Tom will look back at what the so my says yo Italian and very fast hoggle back. Yeah, we just like Like we're giving you the weirdest, like, come on line, running from the law, cuties. There's an extra disc in the human back.

Why won't you reply to me? Even now I'm with my boo going crazy over you. No matter what I do, all I think about is you. I remember there was people listening. This is making the cut for sure. Kelly Rowland will be listening. And probably sending an invoice. She was a judge on Australian The Vice wasn't she? Yeah I think, and I'm pretty sure Michelle... Of course I do know that.

I'm pretty sure I saw Michelle Williams on an ad recently. So we got. Yeah. Michelle Williams is a very underrated singer. She gets a lot of slack for being the less famous one. Yeah. Do you know, Josh and I were asking each other, like, what would you do to like keep one of us in the room for two hours? Yeah.

To stall time. If you had to keep the other one distracted. And I said to Josh I would ask you about a female figure in early 2000s that I don't know about and you would someone that you think is underrated. Yeah I said I can't remember who it was you were talking about what and I said who's that and you went you don't deserve to be gay Can I tell you about her for a little bit And then for balance Josh I said what would you do to keep me in the room? He was like I'd tell you that I'm gonna bake you cookies Yeah, I do like I think when I don't get your attention for two hours

If Josh was like can you want to come over and bake cookies, you can watch TV. Like, yeah, yeah. And it wouldn't be weird because I've cooked and baked for you before and all that stuff. It's nice. Dan, if I said I'm making cookies, would you not? Whoa, I never said anything about it.

It sounds like you don't like cookies. I like cookies very much. Thank you very much. How would you distract Dan for two hours? Just tell him he's too like he's untired watching TV. That was quite naïve. No it wasn't. It wasn't. It wasn't. That word did come in my head but I don't think it was. It's true. That would distract me for a long time. I think what I'm finding about

Dan and this is what's so fun,'s been so fun on this trip is a dad is like on his onstage persona You're so normal offstage It's so nice talking to you about like normal stuff and you're like you he's actually like his stage persona is so much more chaotic Then I'm very weird, but I still think I'm a lot quieter. Oh, yeah, I have a normal conversation that's cuz on stage he shouts it would be strange yeah some people do do that though yeah I don't know how I would distract you for two hours I think I'm saying we've got down. No. Yeah, just literally taking for a pint. Yeah That's how I distract you for a bit. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah Sorry, we really just read the rail that no love it. This is how we would distract you for two hours

If you found any good parts here what's the beer you? You have, what are they called Dan? Pundits? Pundits. Oh yeah, I love a Cruiser. Oh yeah, vodka cruiser. I love a watermelon cruiser. I didn't even know they still made them. Oh yeah they do. Are they like the WKDs? Yeah they are. Yeah yeah. But I had quite a few the other night and then I couldn't sleep because of the sugar rush. Right. Yeah. Watermelon freezer. And a cocaine. Yeah, I don't know which one was keeping you up, but it was probably the watermelon. OK. I haven't spoken French in ages. That's nice.

Yeah, that sounds great. I'm enjoying it. Yeah, me too. I like how your sentence starts saying French, but they end, enjoy that. Enjoy that. I was worried about, so I tend to mirror people's accents Like just naturally if I spend too much time around them

So I was worried about my accents in Australia But I was also worried about Australia that you would all pick up a French accent. Oh Yeah, I'm starting to you're starting to but none of the clips I watched you to me said you sounded very English in those clips Thank you You probably I mean hanging out with Josh all the time you're probably gonna end up with a Manchester Oh when we're down when we're done and I watch can I say I'm also from Manchester. Are you really you've got the same accent Well, well, no, we don't have the same accent But we're from the same city, but that's that's how crazy is in the UK that even different parts of the city can sound completely. Yeah Yeah, which one of you sounds like Oasis more Josh, but I'm actually from weirdly where Oasis are from

Yeah, I think I sound more combination Street. Really. I think I sound like an old lightning like Manchester grandma. Right. Yeah. I think mine is more like an old auntie. I think they're both fantastic accents. Let's just say that. Thank you.

Yeah. I could tell. But it is hard, though. I think English is a lot easier. There's more clemency to it. If you get something wrong, most likely someone gets it yeah yeah yeah there's yeah that I mean we all speak in English and saying the words in entirely different ways and we all know what each other's saying but in French it doesn't

yeah well that's right ironically the French speaker but yeah the story was about have you heard of this story it's's called the Beast of Jeveudon. Jeveudon. I was that close? I don't, I... No. No. No.

But do you know what I've been enjoying here is like, the, so the English are obsessed with the French, right? Which makes it quite hot as a place to live in, as a French person. In Australia, no one cares. It's so nice. Cares about? About the French, really. It one cares. It's so nice Caves about about the French really it's nice. It's relaxing the English people don't like the French for French. No, it's a joke It's a yeah

She not like people hate the know they make you feel it baby. Oh really it's really hard It's I it's I'm not going back Every morning Dan and Josh, they're like, ho ho ho. Right. Yeah, that's pretty rough. I have occasionally just sang Farah Jacques, correct? Yeah, but that would just try to make her feel at home, right? And I don't even like to talk about my brother Jacques.

Yeah, Americans don't like the French that much or that would that that's gone away because they changed French fries for a while I think I think there's just a This is how I see it. Have you seen Mad Men? No, but I've heard of it. There's a scene where it is. He gets in the lift and he goes He goes Something like a long time like I hate you and then other guy goes, I don't even think about you. That's the relationship between the... Oh, France doesn't think about...

We don't think about... We like them. And they're obsessed with you. Well, not me. With you or your country. But they don't like the French. Yeah, that happens a bit, I think. But yeah, it's much better to be. Yeah, that happens a bit, I think.

But yeah, it's much better to be on the side that's not so worried. Why are you so upset? Let's all just get along. I've been loving Australia. Come on. It's been so nice. Maybe I'll go to Sydney. But it's also funny, like,

I think it can be fun to have these fake battles. Like Melbourne and Sydney sort of is a fake one. I don't think anyone actually cares, but it's sort of funny to two cities that are very similar to be like oh they're arch enemies so I heard that Melbourne is like like very it's a great place to live in but Sydney is more like quaint and like cute I think Sydney is just nicer but it's also bigger you've got nice beaches Sydney has nice beaches. Melbourne doesn't have nice beaches. I went to Brighton Beach.

Oh yeah, I mean... That was nice. Yeah, sure. I feel like those kind of beaches Melbourne's got nice beaches. But someone told me I'm not... You shouldn't bathe in the water in Melbourne because it's close to the sewers. Uh, I don't know about that. But they're lying to me. Were they doing a bet? Maybe. No, I think they're... I think they do tests. You check the tests. I think they're lying to me. What they're doing a bit maybe no, I think that I think they do tests you check the tests

I think they're pretty fine But if I was going to the beach, I'd go outside the bay go just a little bit out of town to do Master beaches, you know, they have penguins and think killed her. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's crazy Yeah, they come over from Antarctica little Yeah, they come over for the festival. Yeah Do you think I can tell my story about the cubicles? What is... So I was in a club in Australia. Oh yeah.

The other day. Funniest thing I've seen since I got here. And so... And you've seen quite a few shows. So funny. I saw three people come out of a cubicle, clearly just sniffing. And so he went, yeah, no, the thing is people don't review improv. Oh yeah. quite a few shows. So three people come out of a cubicle clearly just sniffing and so he went, yeah, now the thing is, is people don't review improv. Oh yeah. Yeah, I remember

that. That's awesome. That is very funny. Yeah. Imagine gacked up improv people. Like yes and. That would be the only way to get me to watch improv. Yeah, they would gack up. Yeah. Give me a suggestion. But improv is quite like, cokey, isn't it? Yes, and we can do this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I don't do cocaine. Erm, like, and I'm, I used to work in a bar where I was quite naive about how often people do it. Like,

people in the bar would like be like doing this. People in London love it. And then I was like, I was like, look at those people working and they all have a cold. And I was the only one drinking coffee on shift and I was like, God, I'm such a slob. Like, why can't I work without coffee? All of them high on cook the whole time. Right. Wouldn't that, that would make it, I mean, how much are you having to spend just to maintain your

energy for a shift? I think that was- Are you making enough money to pay for your habit that's keeping you up to work? I think I'm gonna have a word with these people. I'd be like... I just economically speak, I don't know if it sounds... It's mad when people do it and go and sit and watch comedy. That's insane. Stupid. When my mate, my either-fuck-mate's at gigs and they be like,

I'm like, don't. You know what's hard though? Going on stage after having a lasagna. That's really hard. Eating a woman. Eating a Swedish woman.