Who Knew It with Matt Stewart - 99 - Ben Russell, Raewyn Pickering and Barney Pollock

Episode Date: August 5, 2024

Who Knew It with Matt Stewart is a comedy game show podcast hosted by Australian comedian Matt Stewart. This episode features comedians Ben Russell (The Grub), Raewyn Pickering (Deathbed Comedy) and Barney Pollock (Thank God You're Here)!Matt's website: https://www.mattstewartcomedy.com/Check out Matt's stand up special FREE on YouTube: https://youtu.be/cWStRpI-BhESupport the show via http://patreon.com/dogoonpod and you can submit questions for the show!Check out Matt's podcast network: https://dogoonpod.com/Theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and Logo by @muzdoodles! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Go back to school with Rogers and get Canada's fastest and most reliable internet. Perfect for streaming lectures all day or binging TV shows all night. Save up to $20 per month on Rogers' internet. Visit Rogers.com for details. We got you, Rogers. Welcome to Who Knew with Matt Stewart, the show where the guests write the wrong answers. I'm the titular Matt Stewart and our first guest is the first time on the show a cast member of Thank God You're Here. It's Barney Pollock. Hello. Our second guest this week is Australia's premier farm-based stand-up comedian.

It's Rae Wyn Pickering. Oh, thank you. Premier. Watch out. Watch out. Watch out, boys. And our third guest this week is an award winning comedian who was the Australian tour opener for Martin Short. It's Ben Russell. Yeah, that was like that was a long time ago.

Take it off your website, I don't want me to mention it. OK. How long ago? Two thousand and... Five? Seven. What? Six or seven. Well, you would have been a boy.

I was a boy. Were you a- Were you like seen as a- You were looking up to Martin Short? I was new and then, and they just were like, hey, you wanted it. That's a wild early gig. Yeah, it was wild. Wow. Not much competition back then, I guess.

Not in Perth. Mm. Mm. Mm. And you've got a website as well. I didn't know that. Yeah, it's just a little profesh website. It's just got an about and links to shit.

Yeah. I don't really need it because I've got a link tree now. Link tree? Yeah. Oh. Wow. But I just keep it around just because I think it's the profession. Yeah.

Did you go, when did you go on there? Today. Today? Yeah, I just recently updated it. Don't put in that. I never signed up mine. It's 2005 info. Well, it's just a more of an antenna.

I redid that so it was a little bit more like just cutting out. It's so hard. I hate doing your own bios. Yeah. Yeah. It's the pretty, it's the worst thing. You gotta get other people to look over it. It's the hard. I hate doing your own bios. Yeah. It's the pretty... It's the worst thing. You gotta get other people to look over it. It's the worst.

Yeah. I don't have anyone else. It's true. He doesn't. He's got no one. I think it's because of my behavior. Oh, okay. Yep. That's true too. That does make sense.

You are repulsive. Okay, so the way the show works is ask a relatively obscure trivia question. Our contestants have to write a convincing fake answer. I then read their answers as well as the real one. And I have to guess which one is correct. And hey, while I've got you, why not follow us on Instagram, Facebook, et cetera, who knew it pod we've started filming episodes.

And I'm going to start putting up clips. Ben was a vaping before. Maybe that'll be a clip. That'd be the, I think that could go viral because it's badass. Mmm. Vaping? No. You don't even have a prescription. It is bad, though.

Yeah, it's bad for you. Yeah, bad. And probably everyone in the room. Yeah. But it's not badass. No one's going, wow, that guy looks so cool with that fucking- Apple vape. Yeah.

Dude, you're a cyberpunk, man. Don't- so you're cyberpunk, man. Don't say so short. That's cyberpunk. Wow, that cherry kiwi scent is so fucking tough. Alright, the first question comes from listeners Amy Moretti and Diane Lawler. Oh, double. Double trouble.

Did they both call? They wrote this together. So, they're in a book club called the Glasgow girlies book club in Glasgow close get careless and This And apparently apparently this fact came up and someone's explaining it and and Apparently, apparently this fact came up and someone's explaining it. And Amy said, oh, that'd be that's a good thing for this fact podcast I listened to.

And Diane said, not who knew it. And she said, oh, my God, it is. And that's how they bonded. And then together they submitted a question. And they've been married ever since. They've been married ever since. Yeah, it's a really beautiful story. This podcast brings people together as well as pushes people. Yeah.

How do you say I do in a Glaswegian accent? I do, you bastard. You fucking bastard. Anyway. All right. Beautiful. So their question is, in Scotland, what does Whirly Gig mean? Whirly Gig.

Whirly Gig. Whirly Gig. What does Whirly Gig mean in Scotland? I think it means something else, probably more broadly, but apparently a specific meaning in Scotland. And while they're writing their answers, I'll explain how the scoring works. So you get one point if your fake answer is guessed by one of the other contestants and another point if you correctly guess the answer and by the way I'm also

playing as the house I've put in two of my own fake answers with the help of the question writers and I get a point for each one of those that I guess choose so each of us can score up to three points per round which seems fair but the probability actually favors me the house and the house you know has a win every now and then. Maybe not always. Anyway, if you want to submit a question, sign up to our Patreon at patreon.com slash digonpod linked in the show notes or meet someone at a book

club because I don't think Diane's a patron. That's out. What a beautiful long con. She found out where a Patreon frequented, which book club it was, she went there. It's slowly built up. A confidence and trust before going, oh, why don't we submit a question together. Yeah, yeah. Perfect cram. That's powerful. That's powerful stuff. That's conviction. Yes. That's drive. That's Diane.

That's Diane. That's Diane. That's just Diane. That's how she is. I mean, I should say it could be $2 a month would have also got you the ability to submit a question, but I think if you can go to the longer lengths of... You also get the benefit of book clubbing Oh, but into two dollars a month. That's

It's like four cents off a later doesn't feel like much but when you put it together, that's true It is a cost of living crosses. There's no pressure for anyone who get involved in this economy All right, the heads are in for question number one in Scotland. What does a whirly gig mean? Well, whirly gig. No, that's not good. Whirly gig! It's a bistro or basiree, where... Basiree? Bazaar?

What are you trying to say there? A brasiree? Yeah. Yeah, that's what I meant. A brasiree? Basiree. Brazier? A basire.

Is the R sounding- I wasn't sure. R's not sound in brassiere. OK. A whirly gig is a bistro or brassiere where live music is played for patrons enjoying a roast meal and frothy ale. That's option one. Then you got a small windmill. Then you got a traditional Scottish Kaylee dance. Oh. An outdoor rotating washing line.

A U-turn or a social faux pas when you trip up on your skirt. That's when you go for a Whirly gig. Hmm. Well, I have an IOT. Wow. That's right. Some salt. Let's go. I have a T. Wow. That's right.

Summer Salt. Let's go with you, Rowan. Have you ever done a skirt style... A Summer Salt? ...wearly gig? You ever Summer Salted? I've never seen you wear a skirt. I've never seen you Summer Salt.

Yeah. So I'm guessing no. Probably the answer. I've seen both. We have a club. We don't know a park, do we club. The Willow Gig Club. Yeah you do a beautiful handstand. Thank you. I can somersault, I can cartwheel, I can do whatever you want. Can you flip? No. No one has wanted that. I want it.

I want you to flip. I flipped into water. You flipped out? Flip your lips? I'm flipping off right now. You're actually not flipping it. We can see both of your hands. Yeah, there's cameras.

Well, I'm not gonna be rude. Do you want to lock in an answer though? I... It wasn't the Brasserie one. What was the second one? Small windmill? Yeah. All right.

Locking in that infrared one. It could be a small windmill. Could be. Could be. We don't know. We right. Yeah. We can do that in for Ray. It could be a small windmill. Could be. Could be. We don't know. We don't know. Creating a small amount of energy, you know? Yeah. For the mill. For the wells. Yeah. Well, it could be for milling or it could be for water pumping.

Surely that's a wind something else. I don't know. Anyway, Barney, what do you think? I'm going to lock in the clothesline, the Hills Hoist Scotland edition. Okay. Locking in for Barney. I'm also going to go in the Hills Hoist. Oh, double B. Yeah. You've spent time in Scotland.

Have you heard the term? I've spent time with Scots. Yeah. But I haven't heard the term Wurlygeek, but it sounds dumb. Do they have outside like clothes? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Surely it's just, isn't it just rain? Yeah, but like there's different degrees of rain to them. Interesting. They're not, they're not, they're clumsy. They're clumsy, you know, oafish people. All right, look, I'll give you a pass there as someone who has got Scottish heritage.

I also have. It's OK for you to say that. Yeah. Well, I'm giving you permission. I've got Scottish heritage. Yeah, and I'm going to fucking tartan. I've got a tartan. I've got a skin. It's okay for you to say that. Yeah. Well, I'm giving you permission. I've got Scottish hair. Yeah, and I'm... I'm gonna fucking tartan. I've got a tartan. I've got a fucking tartan, dude. I've got a tartan.

I've got a tartan. We all have tartans. We'll chill out. So before Amy and Diane, riding all angry, we can say it. At some point in our histories, we had people who lived there, okay? So we can say it how it is. You're oafish. You're ugly.

What? Did we say that? All right, here's the right answers. I'm thinking it's o. Social faux pas when you trip up on your skirt. That was written by Amy and Diane. That powerful combination. They also wrote the traditional Scottish Kaylee dance, and I appreciate their help

with the pronunciation on Kaylee, because I would have said sealed her. Because there's a D in there. There's a C-E-I-L-D-H. Yeah. Yeah, I would have had no hope. And also, Ben, there's an R in Brasserie, if you want to use that word again. I misspoke it because you misspelled it. Oh, sorry. It was a typo.

You fucking idiot. It was a typo. You never had a typo before? I have never had a typo. You know why? Because I can use my thumbs to text and my fingers to type and my brain's connected to them. My brain's firing on all cylinders, all six cylinders. All the time. A V6, yeah.

It's a V6. It's a V6. It's a V6. It's not a straight six. No, V6. It's got a V in it. It's got NOS. What leader? Oh, yeah, it's got NOS.

What's the engine? The NOS is Dexys. What leader engine is it? It's 4.4. That's big. Yeah, it's powerful. Is it? Yeah.

That's a big one. Yeah. I thought it, because it sounds like more of a 1.5. It doesn't. It. Is it? Yeah. That's a big one. Yeah. I thought it, because it sounds like more of a 1.5. It doesn't. It sounds like a 1.5 straight four. Two stroke.

Sounds like a fucking Toyota. Like a Yakra. So, yes, the Bistro Brasserie, that was Ben Russell's. Basery. To me, that made sense. Yeah, well, I was going- Enjoying a frothy ale. Yeah, well, I was going for boring. That's my first thing.

You nailed it. So, boring. This needs to be boring because if you go too snaz. Snaz? Yeah, then you'll start to- People will start to look at you like that. Start to know. Know your style. And I want to keep those eyebrows down.

Small windmill, right? I went for that. That was Barney. Yeah. Suck shit. Which is not a bad guess because that is kind of what it does mean more broadly. It's like a little spinny things in the garden. Yeah, that's what I thought.

It was like one of those things that you... Did you know that? No. You just... No. To me, Whirly Gigs were those... They're like a... It's like a gum plant, like an Australian... Like, it's a seed and the plant... They break off and go...

Oh, yes. And they spin down. Oh, yeah. We call them Whirly Gigs. Yeah, we call them Whirly Gigs. Yeah, they're fun. Oh. They're fun things.

They are fun. Whirly gig, what a beautiful word. And that does mean the correct answer is an outdoor rotating washing line, much like the Hills Hoist. What? Yeah. Wowee. I was right. Scottish people are all Shrek.

They're always damp. Yeah. So, jeez, Barneyney in with a hot start here. A hot two. Two points right off the bat. Does it look like a Hills Hoist? Yeah, it's a Hills Hoist. I think they ripped off a Hills Hoist, which I thought was an Australian invention. Yeah, that's what everyone talks about. It'd be so funny if it's just like, no, no, it's not.

We tweaked the Whirly gig to announce a whole new thing. Yeah. Well, I mean, you guys might not know this, but I'm very well-travelled. So they actually call things different things in different countries. What? Yeah. So, like, different places, geographical locations in the world will have different cultures. That's weird. There are different sayings. But they have the same- They have different customs. The same things. They've still got, like, Deadpool 3. Like, do they have chairs? Really? What do they have chairs? What do they call it in Scotland?

They still call it Deadpool. Okay. And they call it Deadpool and Wolverine in Scotland. Oh, right. Don't we call it that here? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. So, like, that's the thing that binds us is Deadpool. Yeah, that makes sense.

All right. Question. He's so funny, man. Question number two comes from David Kingfisher from I in Suffolk in the UK. Sounds neat, huh? Name a species of primate. I'm just going to come up with a species of primate. Yeah, well, you've been in the past where it's like name a fish. Like that only for primate. Oh, I thought you've been in the past where it's like name a fish like that only for Primate.

Oh, I thought you just meant like a gorilla. Be a bit more specific. Like if you were going gorilla, it'd have to be East Lowlands Big Ball Gorilla or something. I almost said a real one and then I had to add in Big Ball. And the East Lowlands. Yeah, the East Lowlands, that's right. All right, while they're writing their answers, here's some more informed Whirlygigs.

Amy writes that their non-Scott name is Rotary Era. Wrong. But... Amy's wrong. But yeah, I believe it's actually an Australian invention known as the Hills Hoist. It is. Which according to Wikipedia...

It's like a fucking Scotsman coming in teaching us about champagne. Okay. We made it. Don't come in here and say, oh well it's actually called. No. It's one of the few things that Australia has done. We've done very few things. We don't have a lot.

We've got Wi-Fi. That's it. We went... We made Wi-Fi. We made it. Yeah. We made Wi-Fi. Yeah. Are you serious? Yeah. We made that. We made it. Collectively. But also you can... I think Hedy Lamarr had some hand in it as well. So... Oh yeah. Yeah, she had some bit of the tech she came out which was pretty sick and they tried it they tried to cover it up yeah they didn't want to get in the credit for it. Yeah. Hey Barney you've given me a real species maybe accidentally. That's what I was like. No no. You're meant to make one up., no. Do you understand? Sometimes I forget that this is a tricky game. Yeah, it's real complicated.

I'm just giving it my best crack. Okay. And if I have to break some rules or do some things that maybe aren't part of the game, then so be it, Ben. You're going to get a chance. So be it, Matt. You refuse to get a chance. So be it Matt. Okay. You refuse to address Raywin though, don't you? No. Because I will not do that to Raywin. Is it because you don't know Raywin's name? To who? Yes. I forgot. I forgot. It's a pretty common name. Raywin. Raywin. It's a nice, very nice name. What is it? What is it? Scottish?

What's that to you? It's Welsh. They're pretty similar, actually. Yeah. Welsh are the Scottish of... The sea. While Barney is rewriting his answer. This is a little paragraph about Hills Hoist on Wikipedia. Hills Hoist are considered one of Australia's most recognisable icons.

The Hills Hoist is listed as a national treasure by the National Library of Australia. What a boring culture we are. At the opening ceremony of the 2000 Sydney Olympics featured giant roaming hills hoist robots. What's America have? Oh, the fucking light bulb. The automobile. What have we got? Clothesline.

Clothesline. Clothesline and cop killers. That's what we do. We haven't been cops killed here for a long time. Ned Kelly. Oh, Ned Kelly, OK. He's our famous, most famous cop killer. Yes, that's true. He killed famous cop. Yes, that's true.

He killed some cops? Yeah, that's why he's a hero. I thought it was his underdog status and his... He is, yeah. He's been fighting there. I love Ned Kelly. I think he came out with ACAP. He did?

He was the original ACAP. Yeah. And that's a great one. And Raywood? I should let you know, Ben, half our audience are cops. So just to let you know. Yeah, you're big in the blue light matter. Cop community. Yeah.

Well, I mean, 50 percent, the other 50 percent absolutely hate him. Yeah, so it's a real... It's a mishmash here. Yeah. Yeah. Do you ever just get them together and... You try to make the peace. Make them fight?

Oh. Make them fight? I don't have to make them. They're ready to go, both of them. They both love fighting. All right, the answer for question number two, which of these are real species of primate? DeWalt Mandrill. A long-eared turret, Deadpool. Should have saved that one for last.

A coppery titty monkey. Kendrick's lemur or Fast Loris. DeWalt Mandrill, a long-haired turret, Deadpool, coppery titty monkey, Kendrick's Lima or Fast Loris. Barney, up to you. What do you think? What was the first one? DeWalt Mandrill. Oh, not that one.

Yeah, because DeWalt Mandrill, I believe you can buy as much as you want. Yeah. I'll go Titty Monkey. All right. Yeah. Can you give them to me again, except for the Dewalt Mandrill? Long-eared Turret, Deadpool, Coppery Titty Monkey, Kendrick's Lemur, Limp Lemur, or Fast Loris. Kendrick's Lemur, limp lemur, or fast loris.

Kendrick's lemur is pretty funny. Yeah. These are very punny. Hmm. Okay. Can get that way sometimes here. Titty monkey. What's after that one?

Kendrick's lemur. Mm-hmm. Or fast loris. Fast loris. Loris is a kind of monkey. Known for being slow. Ah, that's right. So if there's a slow loris, it is a kind of monkey. Known for being slow. Oh, that's right.

So if there's a slow Loris, it does make sense that there is a fast Loris. Well, yeah, I mean, it wouldn't even have to be that fast. Doesn't it? It doesn't even have to be that fast. It's just part of the... It's going to be a normal move in Loris. Man, Loris is a beautiful... Lori.

They're so cute. Lori. Sorry, Lori. Look at her They're so cute. Lorai. Sorry, Lorai. Look at a little Lorai. Oh wowie. On my currently on hiatus podcast about primates, there's three factions of primate. You've got apes, which we are. Yep. Then you've got the old world monkeys. Well, the old world and the new world monkeys grouped together as monkeys. Now these ones are in the third one. We can't remember what they call.

We call them the cutie pies. Cutie pies. That's yeah. Like Bush babies. Bush babies are cutie pies. Lava bush baby. Lava bush baby. That's one of the funnier names.

Yeah. But they're adorable. They're fucking beautiful. Beautiful. I want to eat them. So you never see something so cute. You just want to eat it. I just want to pop it in my beautiful. Beautiful. I want to eat him. So you never see something so cute. You just want to eat it. I just want to pop it in my mouth.

Yeah. Like a little, like a little peanut M&M. Whenever I see you on stage, that's what I think. Yeah, good. I'll let him up there. I want to eat him. I want to eat that little fucking dog. Wait, OK. What do you think? Give it to me again.

D-Walt man drill, long-eared turret, Deadpool, coppery titty monkey, Kendrick's lemur or fast Loris. Turret. Turret. Walking in the turret for Ben Russell. Nice. What do you think, Ray? No, I'm going to take it back. I think the turret is...

No, Deadpool, that's yours. He did Deadpool. What? I was laughing about that. I wouldn't have laughed at my own joke. Yeah, you would. No, I wouldn't laugh at my own joke. You absolutely would laugh at your own joke. No, I wouldn't. Yeah, you would. Oh no.

Turret or Teddy Monkey? Coppery Teddy Monkey? Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Coppery Teddy Monkey. Stop imagining it, dude. And they're coppery. They're metallic. Oh, yeah. But malleable.

Yeah. Great, yeah. But malleable. Yeah. Great conductors. I'm going to just, I won't, I'll be different and I'll go turret. What is your favourite? Um, I'll go the fast Loras. Fast Loras. Love it. It goes to, it does, there is logic that if there is a slow Loras, there's a fast Loras.

Surely. All right. They're clearly not that good at naming them. Here's who wrote the answers. Dewalt Mandrill. That was David, the question writer, aka the house. It's funny. It's funny, David. David also did Kendrick's Lima.

Yeah, a little bit. That one's a bit on the nose, David. No offence, but I think you were pushing it with that one. You got a little bit confident with the DeWalt Mandrill and you're like, fuck, I've got what it takes. No, you don't. What a rollercoaster. Rollercoaster. No, you don't. First thing you heard was that where he lives is made up. What a rollercoaster. Rollercoaster.

The first thing you heard was that is where he lives is made up. And now... I'm going to insult every single person. I think if you do it to everyone then it cancels out. Everyone feels good about it. I'm prepared to get roasted. I knew you're an equal opportunity hater, aren't you? I don't mean it. You're an edgel hater, aren't you?

I don't mean it. You're an edgelord, but you'll be an edgelord to everyone. Oh, you can't cancel me if I'm doing it to everyone, is what you say. Wow, and you're like South Park, eh? Yeah, you're like South Park. You're South Park in man form. Yeah. And Deadpool was Barney. I knew it.

I knew it. I knew it. You laughed at your own joke. Long-eared turret, which Ben went for. That was Rewyn. Rewyn, nice one. That's good. You deserve that one. Thank you.

Which means, coppery. Oh, sorry. Fast Loris. Rowyn went for that. That was Ben. He went for each other's. A tet-a-tet. And that means coppery titty monkey is correct.

Wow. Barney's on fire. Have you got a photo? Oh, I that means coppery titty monkey is correct. Wow. Barney's on fire. Have you got a photo? Oh, I haven't even, I've not looked it up. Let me have a look. You need to take off your adults. Say so. Oh yeah, oh yeah, this is a good one.

Just go to copperytittymonkey.com. Look at that guy, he's pretty great. Hey, that's gorgeous. Yeah, that's very coppery. Beautiful. But I mean, in the human world, we call that a red bearded. Yeah, that's a good one. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, gorgeous. Yeah, that's very coppery. Beautiful. But I mean, in the human world, we call that a red beard. But yeah, I'd like coppery. That's pretty much looks like me. Where are the titties on it? That's why I said it.

Where are the titties at? Where are the titties at? All right, I'm looking up Coppery Titty Monkey's breasts. Here we go. Contrasticles. Let's see what we've got. I don't know. I think they're hidden under the fur. What teases.

It's not blurred out. What little teases. Maybe is that- Hiding that. Could that be a- Whoa. Could that be something? Oh, it's- Could be a hint. Titi. Oh, Titi. It's not T-I double T-Y. Oh, it's Titi. Yeah, no, I think it's pronounced Titi.

Okay. Yeah. I'm pretty sure it's pronounced Titi. Any word you can make sound like Titi if you want. Okay, go. All right. Jelly. Titi. He's right. He just said... I just said jelly and you just said titty. Yeah. I meant jelly. Yeah. So the J is silent and the L when you put them together is T.

It's T. Well, one goes. I love aeroplane titty. Yeah. Aeroplane titty for me. I like it for dinner. I like it for dinner. I like it for tea. Question three comes from Jess Perkins from our sister podcast, Do Go On. Oh, JP. JP.

And JP's question is, what is the name of the self-published slash self-directed sex tape by actor Dustin Diamond, who played Screech on Saved by the Bell. They gotta give us the name. Hell. Jess Perkins is a known pervert. Yes. Yeah.

Yeah, sure. Like, I don't think she'll deny that. No, she's- She's a perv. Yeah, she's a self-confessed porn addict. Yeah. Well, yeah, she's a- she'll tell that to you if you ask her. She brags to me that she has paid subscriptions to all of the pornos. She's got a- she's got extra external hard drives.

Yeah. Yeah. She bought a season pass to OnlyFans. Yeah. Like a whole- Whole OnlyFans. Yeah. She's fans of all in all. And she consumes all of them. She consumes them. Yeah. She's fans of all and she consumes all of them.

She consumes them. Yeah. Mindlessly. She just, the way that we scroll, like, Instagram, that's her. And she did it while on air at Triple J. Yeah, that's all there is to do there. Because she's just like, yeah, come in, text in when you had a barbecue that was off chops. Yeah, what do you reckon?

Is the government a loose unit? So that's your question. What is the name of the self-published, self-directed sex tape by actor Dustin Diamond, a.k.a. Screech from Saved by the Bell? As we're about to check in with this round, if we don't write the real deal. No, you write a fake one. Right, right, right. So, okay. Even if we... Yeah, right. But I want it just to save the question later. That's the same every round.

Oh, okay. Cool, cool, cool. It's just always best to check. Yeah, yeah, that's true. And I will be doing it. While you're writing your answers, I'll let the audience know a bit more about coppery titty monkeys. According to David, he saw a troop of these little fellas at a zoo recently. They're also known as a red titty monkey. Apparently, an important social behavior for coppery titties is tail intertwining, which occurs between bonded pairs during both waking and sleeping hours. They hold hands all the time with their tails. There are other species of titis which are native to South America but I thought the coppery titi monkey had a nice ring to it. It's not an ape or a slide but it is a

titi. Nice little reference to the ape titi slide saga over on the primates channel there. Not for everyone, but um, whether listen if you like investigative journalism. Oh, didn't say either of those words right? No, but that's not your fault. That's not my fault. Okay. Forte.

No, or Forte. Alright, the answer for question number three. What is the name of the self-published, self-directed sex tape by actor Dustin Diamond, who's played Screech and Saved by the Bell? Get inside my diamond, you idiot man. I am beast. I am beast. Diamond in the buff. That's good.

Screech. Screeched. Saved by the smell. Shaved by the bell. Screech pops back. I can cut diamonds with my dick. Or the Screech Around Reach Around hour. Whoa. Okay. Screech Around Reach Around. That's good. A flower. Yeah. Who did that one? That's your guess, Ben? You didn't follow my track.

What do you think, Ben? Barna, did you do that one? Oh, no, he's doing it to me. Raven, you can tell me. I like your user against me. I'm going to go with you. I'm going to go with you. I'm going to go with you.

I'm going to go with you. I'm going to go with you. I'm going to go with you. I'm going to go with you. I'm going to go with you. I'm going to go with you. I'm going to go with you. I'm going to go with you.

I'm going to go with you. I'm going to go with you. I'm going to go with you. I'm going to go with you. I'm going to go with you. Oh, no, he's doing it to me. Raven, you can tell me. You can tell me. Hey, Raven. I feel like you're using it against me. You can tell me. You can tell me. You can tell me. You're doing that.

I am going to go for diamond in the rough. Diamond in the buff. Diamond in the buff. All right. And Russell locked in. What about you you Rowan? Um, just one more time. Get inside my diamond you idiot man. I'm beast. I am beast. Second beast is all caps. That's long. Did you do that one Barney? No. Diamond in the buff. No. Diamond in the buff. Diamond in the buff second one. Screech saved by the smell,

shaved by the bell, screech humps back. I can cut diamonds with my dick or the screech around reach around hour. Do you want to lock one in Rowan? Ummm... I think the screech around reach around hour. Full hour of screech around reach around. It of screech around reach around and he never finds it but the first 45 minutes of mainly screeching around most of it is him screeching around

I was on it most of it is him screeching around What do you think by um, just a few questions about the game can I pick my own no Okay, well I'm gonna go with the benefit of that be Which one would you just one vote from you know, are you you want to get a definite point? Yeah, yeah, which one would he would you pick if you had to pick your own? Well, I'm not going to say because Matt said that's not in the game, so I wouldn't do that. Yeah, I appreciate that, Barney. Yeah. I'm going to choose, was it, one of them was Shaved by the Bell?

Yes. Yes. Shaved by the Bell. I'm going to select that one. All right, looking in for Barney. I mean, you are two from two so far, by the way, so. Uh-oh. You know, you're one of those who doesn, by the way, so. Uh oh.

You know, you're one of those who doesn't like getting on a winning streak because it's just one step closer to a loss. One step closer to a loss, you know. Every time you're happy, you're going to be sad being a bit. All right, here's the answers. Barney wrote, get inside my diamond, you idiot man. I am beast. I am beast. Have you run out of ideas? I had to use so much of my brain for the first two.

I'm out. Yeah, I'm out. Tapped out. Tapped out. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I saw you react when they got read out and it was anger. I was furious. I was like, someone's not taking this. I can cut diamonds with my dick. That was Rowan. Rowan, not the same.

Two very lengthy titles. Yeah, it's unrealistic. OK, go home, watch some porn. You got homework this time. Yeah, homework. Got to watch the many corners. How would you turn, because you're a big porn guy, right? How would you? Come on, you are.

You and Jess are the two biggest porn freaks in the country. Yeah, yeah, we're porn hounds. So would you just... What would you do? You'd shorten that to what? Just like diamond dick? Yeah, 100%. Something like that.

Porn-o is not... Yeah, but then it's not clear that he can cut them. Yeah, that's true. You've got to actually explain it. Subtitle or something. I think it's implied in the title. Because there'd be a picture as well, I guess. Hmm. And maybe the pictures of him cutting. Because the dick is diamond, so it's the hardest thing.

No, he's cutting the hardest thing, don't you man? So his dick is harder than the diamond. Yeah. Wow. See, that's why you didn So his dick is harder than the diamond. Yeah. See, that's why you didn't get it. No, but you need diamonds to cut diamonds. So I think it still needs to be, it still can be a diamond. Yeah, so you get, if it was diamond dick, I mean that- It could cut a diamond pussy.

Yeah. Well, it's not called diamond pussy. There's a lot to work with there though for- There's a gap in the market there. We better... Let's quickly pause this episode. A gap in the market. Yeah, I wasn't sure.

This is... Connor, the editor, will let me know once he's edited it, whether or not I should put it as an adult warning. I think this one might have one. This is all because of Jess Perkins. Yeah, Jess did it. It's always the ones you least expect. But in this case, it's the ones that you do expect. Yeah, yeah.

Hiding in plain sight. Yeah. Oh, OK. What else have we got? The screech around, reach around hour. Ray went for that. That was a house, I'm afraid. I added the hour in just very late there, too.

That's why I clenched it. Clenched it. Yeah. I'm afraid I did the hour and just very light there too Clenched it yeah diamond in the buff Ben Russell and for that was just Perkins see game knows game Then shaved by the Bell screech humps back. Barney, you went for that one. That was Ben Russell. Eat shit! Meaning the correct answer. The correct answer feels like it also has been phoned in. Screeched saved by the smell. Oh. Oh.

Doesn't even make sense. Yeah, it's not a very attractive image either. Like... Yeah. He's dead now. What's he smelling? Yeah, he did. Oh. He's dead. Oh,'s he smelling? Yeah, he did. He's dead. Passed away.

Yeah. God bless. But he left it. He left the legacy. Fail. Yeah, fail. Fale. Rip. Rest in power. Rest in power. Okay. So that round, we've got, finally the house is on the board with a point. Ben gets a point. Yes. And so, wait, the house gets two points. Holy shit, here we go. So, scores after three rounds are. This is rigged.

Raewyn on one point, the house on two points. But out in front, equal on three points is Barney and Ben. The, the, the, the, the, the. Ugh, ugh. I'm gonna win. Yeah? Yep. Okay. Question four going to win. Yeah. Yep. OK. Question four comes from Kendra G from Toronto.

Kendra G. And it's a slightly long and common. Kendrag. What? Oh, maybe it was Kendra. Kendrag. Yeah. Kendrag.

There's a space there, but maybe the space is silent. It's a silence. Maybe it's one of your typos, mate. I didn't write this one. Please do go on that. That's the name of his sister podcast. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Where he hosts a podcast with the two other perverts.

Well, no, two perverts, not other perverts. Yeah, two of the biggest perverts. Yeah, they do enough perving for all of us. So, yeah, like I say, this is a bit of a longer question. So it doesn't make sense to me. Hopefully it will to you. In JoJo's Bizarre Adventures, does that mean anything to you? No. A Japanese manga and anime, characters have powers called stans, which are normally named after bands or songs. However, due to licensing issues they have to be renamed in certain publications. So the question is, what was

Sports Maxim's stand named and what was it renamed to? As an example, I've added an example to help. Basically, there's a character called Guido Mr. and his stand was Sex Pistols and it was renamed Six Bullets. So basically you got a weird ala band name. You know what I mean? Take a- you tell me which band- what the band name is and then some sort of a tweak on it to get around copyright law. Okay, okay.

That's a great question, but I have not explained it well. That was perfect. Thank you so much. Kendra wrote it better and I added in more info and I think I made it more convoluted and I apologize for that. Anyway, while you're writing your answers, here's some more info about Screech's sex tape. According to Looper, it worked for Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian, so why

shouldn't making a sex tape give Dustin Diamond a career boost? That seems to have been the thinking behind Screeched Saved by the Smell, a 2006 movie directed by Diamond in which he's having sex on camera with a pair of women. Needless to say, it didn't have the desired impact and years later he claimed he wasn't even in the sex scenes. As Diamond told Oprah Winfrey, he used a stunt double in his stead. He told Oprah Winfrey that. Yeah. That was what a wild interview that must have been. Anyway, while you're still running your answers, let's go for a quick break. All right, and we're back and the answers are in for question number four in JoJo's Bizarre Adventures.

What was Sports Maximum Stand named and what was it renamed to? Limp Bizkit to Flaccid Pancake. Creedence Clearwater Revival to Softstream Exhumation. Green Day to Blue Month. Pearl Jam to Off-White Marmalade. Rolling Stones to Whirling Rocks or Kiss to Smooch. What's the second last one? Second last one. Rolling That's yeah, it's not that good. You are taking no credit. What are you doing? What are you doing?

Did you do that? Did that hurt your feelings? Yeah. I'm trying to elicit a response. Yeah. And you've fallen into my trap, Barney. I thought it was good. No?

Terrible. You should be ashamed of yourself. Yeah, no, you're right. That's yours. So I tricked you so I know that that's yours. Yeah. Oh, Barney, you've walked right into his trap. I'm playing 4D chess.

I'm not. You're just like sitting on the couch scratching your bumhole. Scratching my ass, yeah. Your bumhole. Yeah. I think these cars are so zany right now. That's what you thought, that Kevin Spacey was scratching his asshole in that movie in the 10 and he wasn't in the end as I recall it.

What about Kevin Spacey? Yeah, what happened to him? He was a powerful performer in his day, but yeah, he seems to have gone missing. Yeah, what happened? Anyway, Raewyn, do you want to look one in? There was Limp Biscuit. There was the Credence Clearwater. There was Rolling Stone.

And what was? Green Day, Pearl Jam and Kiss. Let's go Pearl Jam. Pearl Jam, locking that in. Raewyn. What do you think Barney? Um, God, so many options. Hmm. Six. So, sorry. I perhaps will choose...

What was the first one? Flaccid pancake for Limp Bizkit. Yep. No, not that. I'm going to go with... I'm going to go with Kiss and Smooch just because I need it. Yeah. You need Smooch.

Yeah. I need Smooch. Well, you should demand Ben gives you one. Yeah. I demand Smooch. Yeah, I need a smooch. Well, you should demand Ben gives you one. Yeah, I demand a smooch. The demand has been invoked. Your right to smooch has been invoked and the house sees it. Now, I am going to go the Kredin's Clearwater one. Okay.

Because that sounds like a- what is it? Can you give it to me again? Soft stream exhumation. Yeah, see that sounds like a bad sort of Japanese translation. All right. He's the one who wrote the answers. Rolling stones to whirling rocks. That was Raewyn Pickering.

Yeah, thanks a lot. Geez. Thanks a lot. 6D chess. Yeah, 6D chess, dude. I was in another dimension. Which one did you do then? Green Day to Blue Month.

That was the house. That was fun one. That was... You could have done that one. That would have impressed me. Kiss to Smooch. Barney went for that was also the house, I'm afraid. Sorry, I got my needs met. Raewyn went for Pearl Jam to Off-White Marmalade. That was Ben Russell.

Shit. Ben went for Creedence Clearwater Revival to Softstream Exhumation. That was Barney. Oh dear me. That was beautiful. You went for Barney. Well, that also means no one got the correct answer, which was Limp Bizkit to Flaccid Pancake. Wow.

But a point to Barney. And a point to Ben. A point to Ben and a point to the house. We're still locked in a maxi struggle. But you know what? What? It all changes in the final round. Yeah.

I could come up. You could come up. Triple points, final round Barney. So it's truly anyone's game. Truly anyone's game. Now with the final round, Matt, is it indeed triple points? Yes, yes. All right, question number five comes from Justin McCain from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.

Go Penguins. And the question is, what's the- Oh, McCain, you've done it again. Mr. Clickety-Cane plays a silly game. What's the unusual name of a baseball player who debuted in the major leagues on August 9thth 1883 with the Buffalo Bisons none of that's important it's just to be specific about this player he's got a fun name what's the unusual name of a baseball player

from the olden days basically baseball player from what what 1883 while you're writing your answers here's some more info about flaccid pancake according to Kendra sports maximum, sports maximum stand not only controls the dead, but also makes them invisible. The flaccid pancake name was only used in the video game Eyes of Heaven. In the official release, it's localized to limp vizket with a V, which is a bit odd and apparently had a bit of backlash. People are like, where's flaccid pancake?

Oh my goodness. What a... is a bit odd and apparently had a bit of backlash. People are like, where's flaccid pancake? Oh my goodness, what a, I don't know where to start and end with this beautiful array of names. Do we need to do another one? No, no, I'm loving these names. They ordered to put them in, I don't know. Normally, I don't know how to go about it,

but it is, I just think I'd be happy. I think beautiful name for a boy or girl, all of these names. So the answer- That's what we want. We want gender neutral names. Yes. Yeah. We live in Numb. If anyone's, you know, listening now while trying to think of a baby name,

here are six options. Yeah. So the question is question number five, what's the unusual name baseball player who debuted in 1983 with the Buffalo Bisons? Brad President, Tony Suck, Tony Suck, Charlie Wetzelut, Billy the Big Little, Broken Doctor Who or Greg Squelch. Broken Doctor Who.

Is that his first name? So I think. Wait, what was the last one? Sorry. I think Brownie and Sugar. After Broken Doctor Who. Greg Squelch. Greg Squelch.

So you've got Brad President, Tony Suck, Barley Wetzlott, Billy the Big Little, Broken Doctor Who or Greg Squelch. Billy the Big Little? Ah, the big's the nickname. It's Billy Little, buddy. Billy the Big Little. Yeah. I'm going to go with Barley Wetzlott, please.

Locking that in. I mean, you got a lot to work. If people are looking to name a child, Barley, beautiful. Barley is beautiful. Beautiful name. Wetzluck also, fantastic. And they would work in either, you know, either could be the middle name, either could be the first name. Exactly. Yeah. Wetzluck Barley, yeah. Yeah. So Pollock is yours, Sam. So you're looking to name a kid. Barley like barley? Yeah. Yeah. So, Pollock is your surname. So, you're looking to name. Yeah. Grinch.

That's good. Yeah. Ben, what do you think? Brad President is powerful. Yeah. Billy Little, Billy Big Little. Also powerful. What was some others? Tony Suck.

Tony Suck is the name of my cousin. Did he play baseball in the 80s? No, he wasn't even alive. Okay. Greg Squelch. Greg Squelch. Broken Doctor Who. Broken Doctor Who. Broken Doctor Who. Broken Doctor Who. Broken Doctor Who. Like at the time it was just a normal name. It's only in hindsight that we were going to go, what a funny name that was. Yeah.

But that was probably heaps of broken Doctor Who's back then. I'm going to go Billy Big Little. Billy Big Little for Ben. Yeah. That leaves you, Rowan. Um. I'm going to go Billy Big Little. I'm going to go Billy Big Little.

I'm going to go Billy Big Little. I'm going to go Billy Big Little. I'm going to go Billy Big Little. I'm going to go Billy Big Little. I'm going to go Billy Big Little. I'm going to go Billy Big Little. I'm going to go Billy Big Little. I'm going to go Billy Big Little.

I'm going to go Billy Big Little. I'm going to go Billy Big Little. I'm going to go Billy Big Little. I'm going to go Billy Big Little. I'm going to go Billy Big Little. I'm going to go Billy Big Little. I'm going to go Billy Big Little. Billy Big Little for Ben. Yeah. That leaves you Rowan. Ummm... I'm gonna go Brad President. Brad President. Hey. Dress for the job you want, name for the job you want. I mean, you only ended up as a baseballer but... He could have been the president. He could have been. Should have been been all right he's wrote the answers Greg squelch that was the house broken dr. who those Barney doctor who he's he's stuck there yes he's Oh God, give me more, you know, of that Whovian. We just did a Do Go On episode about the history of Doctor Who with Michelle Brazier.

Oh really? Yeah. She told us all about it. I didn't know much about it and it was fascinating. That's disappointing that Michelle likes Doctor Who. I judge people that like Doctor Who. I think it's absolute rubbish. It's like it's absolute rot.

From the outside look again, that's what the glimpses I've seen on my- Yeah, you weren't impressed. But it sounds like if you give it a chance, it might be pretty good. It looks like Star Trek for people that have like a massive brain trauma. I'd love to see. What's your best social media for feedback Ben? It's a go on Twitter. Because I never check it.

Ben Russell's on Twitter. Okay. Oryx. Yes. Billy the big little. Ben went for that was Raiwen. Raiwen, well done. Ben Russell's on Twitter. Okay Billy the big little Ben went for that was raywin raywin well done well done Barley wet slut Barney went for that was Ben Ray one went for Brad president, but that was Justin, aka The House, meaning the correct answer was Tony Suck. Tony Suck.

I should have gone Tony Suck. Yeah. Because that was the right one. Yeah. In hindsight, there it was. OK, so a point for Ray, one point for Ben and a point for The House. Did he have a nickname? Tony Suck?

Yeah, it was Broken Doctor. So, we got two rounds to go. This one comes from Jackie Gillan from Geelong. The question is, what was the headline on the Northern Territory News on Saturday, the 15th of June, 2024? Not too long ago. Couple of months back, time recording. What was the headline on the Northern Territory News on Saturday the 15th of June 2024?

If you don't know the Northern Territory News, they go with pretty wacky headlines. All right. After five rounds, the scores are, Rae went on two, Barney in the house on four, but now out in front on five points is Ben Russell. He's scored a point in all five rounds. Powerful and consistent. While they're writing their answers, I can tell you a little bit more about Brad Suck. Tony Suck, I should say. Brad's his brother, I assume. According to Justin, he was a bad Major League player with only two hits and 53 errors in 61 games He would be a career semi pro lower level player

This is most notable thing about him is his name, but it does sound like Suck by name suck by nature All right, the answer in his question number six. What was the headline on the Northern Territory News on Saturday, the 15th of June, 2024? Dapper Slapper snaps back at Cheeky Paps. Dapper Slapper snaps back. Where does my child support go? Dr. Seuss worked for the NCEE. That's option one. Option two.

Where does my child support go? Local builder launches inquiry against croc. Option three. Little bow peep. Little bow peeping Tom caught peering through windows with sheep in tow. I didn't order a schlong black. Granny gets doinked by flying dildo. Crocodile, crocodile tears after crows stoned. Or slippery rat eats cute pooches dinner.

It's a real wild range here. Oh, OK. Ones that sort of stuck out that I liked. Slippy Rat, for simplicity. Dildo, Granny. They work back from Schlong Black, I reckon. They definitely do. They came up with Schlongweb first, and then they were like,

alright, how can we work this back into what actually happened? What was the first one? First one, Dapper Slipper snaps back at Cheeky Paps. Yeah, I love that one as well. So those are my top three. And I like them for different reasons, and I think that they cater to different audiences. And that's what I like about this. This is like you're the bachelor or something.

Yeah. Giving out a rose. You know, it's just what a journey this has been. And I've learnt a lot and I did come here to find love. And, you know, sometimes- You've fucked them all. And I've fucking kissed him all And I do love him. I mean I don't have a concept of love I've never been loved or felt love but you know, I've got some I've got a bunch of Instagram followers for being on here

And hopefully that'll give me some free protein powder. Oh, I'm going to have to... This one's so tough because it's so ridiculous. I'm going to have to go with the one that I think is the most lovingly crafted. The one with heart, the one with that makes me smile that I can picture spending the rest of my life. And that is Dapper Slapper hits back at Cheeky Pat. OK, looks like I'm for Ben Russell. Rewind. Um.

I like the sound of that, but what does it mean? It doesn't mean anything. We're in the Northern Territory. Nicely dressed. It's too hot and humid over there to think about anything. You just want stuff that sounds nice. I can't think about it. Nothing gets done in the territory because it's so fucking hot and pretty.

And so you're just like, well, fuck it. Let's just sound like nice sounds like. And that's a sniper. Yeah. Icaramba. Oh, yeah, that's a big one up there. I need my shorts. Yeah, that's a big one up there. I'm going to eat my shorts. I like the squelchy rat.

No, slippery rat. Slippery rat. The wet rat. You might be confusing Greg squelch from the last round. That speaks to me because slippery rat, they exist in tea. Yeah. Slippery Rad. And I can imagine them eating a key purchase dinner.

So, it works on a fuel level. And it tells you exactly what's going on. It does, which I think you need. It's good journalism. He's playing you. Who, what, where, when, wow. Who, what, when, when, wow. I'm just saying it aloud.

Yeah. So, I mean, that was one of my threes. Wait, did you write that? No. I can't choose. Those are the three that I'll choose it if you don't want it. I just think I like the rhyming better. Crocodile tears after crow's stone.

That's pretty elegant. Yeah, that's nice too. I like that one too. Stone the crows. Yeah. What's going, that's pretty elegant. Yeah, that's nice too. I like that one too. Stone the crows. Yeah. What's going on there? That a herald crow.

Cheryl Crow. Cheryl Crow. Yeah. Um, Alanis Morissette. Yeah. Shania Twain. Shania Twain. Um, but not-

Man, it feels like a woman. Yeah. That's not it is it? That don't impress me much. Oh, big time like a woman. Yeah. That's not it. That don't impress me much. Oh, big time. So what? You're Brad Pitt. Yes.

I don't care. That don't impress me much. Oh. Well then. Well then, I guess I'll be off. See ya. That's my... You do impressions, Ben.

That was mine of Brad Pitt. Oh, that's good. Yeah, thanks. Barney, you want to lock one in? Yes, yes I do. So at this point in the game, we lock one in, is that correct? Yes, that's correct. Okay, I'm going to go with,

what was the one about the sheep and the pervert? Little Bo Peeping Tom caught peering through windows with sheep in tow. Little Bo Peeping Tom, that's two different. Right. Okay. So they've merged those together. But again, you're trying to find reason in the unreasonable. That's your biggest mistake. This is basically just a game of numbers. You roll the dice on them. Then I look into the void and it stares back and I ask it, why? And what does it say?

Really? Says dapper pat and slam the pat. I'm going to go... Oh, what was the granny you wanted to get? She gets... I didn't order a schlong black. Granny gets doinked by flying dildo. Love doinked as a word. Doink is fun.

That's the right word as well. They would use doink. I'm going to go with the sheep pervert. Sheep pervert, okay. Are you still saying that you're going for the one you want? Yeah. I'm picking, I'm trying to manifest. Okay.

All right, well here's who wrote the answers. Crocodile tears after crow's stone, that was Barney. Thanks a lot guys for not picking it. Suck shit. After a broken Doctor Who, I'm like, wow. This guy has reigns. Yes, L has broken. I almost did write broken Doctor Who again,

because I would love to see that on the newspaper, wouldn't you guys? No. Oh, that'd be fantastic. Where does my child support go? Local builder launches inquiry against Croc. Oh, that was Rewyn. That's a beautiful story. That's beautiful. It kind of tells you everything you need to know.

Where's even the Croc is stealing the child support money? Yeah, because the builder had a child with the croc. It's a crocodilian boy. Yeah and then the builder goes past like the creek and sees the crocs go nice big flat-screen TV. Exactly, why am I paying for this when Billy doesn't have shoes? Mmm. Yeah. That makes a lot of sense. I'd like to see a crocodile on a jet ski. I'd like to see that before I die. Oh, that'd be fantastic. That's on my bucket list. Yeah. Slippery rat eats cute pooches dinner.

Rowan, for that, that was Ben Russell. And shit. I played you like a fiddle. I knew it was because you said, like, first off, I like that one. Yeah. Planting the seed. One of your reasons was, yeah, because there's wet rats up there. Because you said like first off I like that one. Yeah. Planting the seed. One of your reasons was, yeah, because there's wet rats up there.

But it was awesome. You got me. I agreed. It was, Rae won it all each. And I know it rang true. Rae won went for it. And then you started doing that. And I reckon that was just putting doubt in her mind.

Yeah. I was already so sold that I could have just said, I wrote that and she wrote that. Little boat peeping Tom caught peering through windows with sheep in tow. Barney went for that, but that was Jackie, aka the house. Jackie! She's got me. Jackie also wrote dapper, slapper, snaps back. Whoa! You've impressed me.

The only person that has impressed me with the options. Everyone else has let me down. That means the correct answer is I didn't order a schlong black. Yes, of course it was. And he gets doinked by flying dildo. That makes total sense. Yeah. Okay. Well, that's a horse. And he gets doinked by Flying Dildo. That makes total sense. Yeah. OK, well, that brings us to the final question.

Question seven, this comes from Jacoby Austin DeAngel from Carmichael in California. Jesus Christ. And the- How many fucking letters do you want in there? Jacoby. Did he host- Jacoby Carm- from Carmichael? Yeah, from Carmichael.

Do you think Jacoby hosts that show Scarred? Well, could've. You know that show Scarred? You ever seen that show Scarred on TV? It was- it's like five clips of guys being like, it was the worst injury I ever had. And then they- you watch it. What? The bones pop out, they go flying and-

They get scarred. Yeah, they get scarred. Jacoby Shaddix was the host. Yeah. That's now I know two Jacobys. What about Derek Jacobi? Oh, now I know three. Why are you looking back?

Yeah, I was just looking. Oh, right. I'm allowed to look. Yeah, you can look, but the way that you look. And that's what I say. You said a name that wasn't. Yeah, that's what I said to Gaw. I said, you're on. I am allowed to look. Yeah, you can look, but the way that you look. And that's what I say. You said a name that wasn't... In court. Yeah, that's what I said to court. I said, you're an o- I am allowed to look. That is my right.

That's my right. So Jacobi's question is, what is the synopsis of the 2019 film Greener Grass? So this will be your longest answer, Barney. You're going to write a little paragraph here. Okay, great. Is this Triple Peace? This is the Triple Points. Oh, this is the Triple Points one. This is the final question. Wait, great. Is this Triple P's? This is the triple points. Oh, this is the triple points. This is the final question. Wait, what year is this made? 2019. Just repeat the question.

What is the synopsis of the 2019 film Greener Grass? So this would be like, it'd be a bit of a paragraph here, Barney. Four or five or six sentences maybe? So when you say paragraph, what exactly? Well, I think I mean, answer as you're asking me. Four or five sentences? Yeah, right, right. Yes, yes, yes.

Turn on my listening ears. All right, here we go. Thank you. Two of these, one of these. What year? 2019. Like bloody hurting wet rats over here. While the answers are being written, here's some more info about the dildo story.

According to Jackie, this took place in a small shopping centre that used to be my local when I lived in Darwin. Not only is the headline of the story fun, the story begins with the line, An elderly woman was having a cuppa when a flying fat dick, that's in quotes, struck her in the head. Triggering a massive clash, the story continues. At about 1.30 p.m. on Wednesday, Oasis shopping center village descended into chaos

when four youths on scooters zipped through the shopping center at speed. Things turned ugly, however, when the troublesome group held a variety of items, including sex toys around the food court. An off-duty support worker, who did not want to be named, witnessed the moment an elderly woman was struck with a fat dick to the head. They threw two large rubber dildos.

One of them bounced off the floor and the other smacked an elderly woman right in the head, she said. And then the woman said, oh I've just been hitting the head with a penis and I don't know what happened to her because she disappeared. That is some magic dildo. A witness said the victim could have been badly hurt by the massive sex toy. It was probably about 30 centimeters long and it was fat. It was really fat and heavy, she said. It wasn't normal size, that one.

Geez, that's a great story. That's a good story. Thank you so much for Jackie for bringing our attention to that one. Alright the ads are in for the final question. Triple points. Still truly anyone's game. Triple peas. Just a reminder what are we all on?

Oh you want to know that? She's just doing your job. Raywin's on two points. Barney's on four points. But out in the front, equal on six points a piece. It's Ben in the house. Interesting. So in a sense, it's not really anyone's game, is it? If I'm on two. You can score nine points in this round. But you're probably not gonna...

Triple points. So it's not just three points. Every round's not looking good, right? No, that, every round is three points. This round is triple points. It's triple three. Triple. Three threes. Three through three. Yeah.

The number of the beef. If I get, look. Has it ever been done? Has the nine points ever been done? The number of the beef? Has anyone done that? Here are your options. points ever been done, the number of the base? Anyone does that. Here are your options.

For the final question, what is the synopsis of the 2019 film Greener Grass? A family recently bereaved moves from California to Vermont to start anew. After initially finding warmth and connection within the small community of artisans and makers, the family begin to suspect that their interactions with the townsfolk are pre-planned and there are sinister machinations at play.

Oh. Or machinations, as some say. I don't, I say machinations. Good for you. Because you say things wrong. Yeah. Nearly, oh, probably only about 60 percent of the words I say are wrong. Yeah.

Yeah. Option number two. In this Belgian comedy... comedy... I mean, there's... Oh, English is his second language, guys. Um, there's a pretty good example there. In this Belgian comedy, parents in the small village of Sosoi tell their teens that grass is always greener on the other side after they start complaining about the boring farm life and dream of moving 3k up the road to

the slightly larger village of Farlian. When the Mayor Toots Thilsman takes... Toots Thilsman. Thilsman. Thilmans. Scoot Thilman. Toots Thilsman. Toots Thilsman. Is takes the best name that you came up I need a name that's realistic So toots the mayor takes his family on a day trip to power and good pretending And so soy, Uh-huh.

So he begins... Sorry, it says cells. He begins to believe the grass is actually greener and something else be done about it. We're in Balaclavas and armed with weed killer Toots and the other parents sneak up the road that night to sabotage their neighbors. The mayor of Falian, Adolf Sachs, soon catches on. What?

Within weeks. An all out war breaks out with each village in an attempt to destroy as much grass, shrubbery and vegetation as possible by any means necessary. That's option two. Option three. Green grass. That one, I mean, they've submitted the novelisation of the film and I really think that that's worth something. Yeah. And when you finished writing, you said, I've submitted the novelization of the film and I really think that that's worth something. Yeah. And when you finished writing, you said, I've just written the script.

Yeah. Do you reckon that was in reference to that long thing? Well, that wasn't a script, was it? Yeah, that might be this one. Daytime. John enters. I've seen scripts. Alright, it's just that option. Old Hollywood over here.

Greener grass is the story of a small town boy whose colour blindness means he sees the world a little different. Charlie is bullied at school, neglected at home, but finds an oasis in his dance class where he can just be himself. No rose coloured glasses here as he is tormented by his father, Christopher Walken, and mother, Marie Doolin for dreaming of a different rainbow. Wow. Option four. 2019. 2019. Yeah, okay. Okay, okay. In a day glow coloured bizarro version of suburbia. You can't dance. Okay, okay. In a day glow coloured bizarro version of suburbia... You can't dance!

You're colour blind! You can't... You need to see colours! I don't want to dance! Please. Please continue. I'm tormented. I'm a tormentor!

In a day glow coloured bizarro version of suburbia where adults wear braces on their already straight teeth, everyone drives golf carts and children magically turn into golden retrievers. Soccer mums and best friends Jill and Lisa are locked in a passive aggressive battle of the wills that takes a turn into the sinister when Lisa begins systematically taking over every aspect of Jill's life, starting with her newborn daughter. Daughter? Daughter!

Daughter! Ha ha ha! Meanwhile, a psycho yoga teacher killer is on the loose. Ha ha ha! Jill's husband has developed a curious taste for pool water and Lisa is pregnant with a soccer ball. Oh. From The Simpsons, Lisa? Yeah, I think it's from The Simpsons, yeah.

Have you seen The Simpsons? Yeah, I think it's from The Simpsons. Have you seen The Simpsons? Yeah, I did catch it. It's really funny. I found it bingeable. Yeah. Yeah. It's a... You should check it out, Raymond. I don't know. That wasn't...

Raymond wasn't there. My brain broke. Two last options. Broken Doctor broke. Two last options. Broken Doctor Who. Broken Doctor Who. The Doctor Who is broken. Batter up Broken Doctor Who. And the Doctor's got a pitcher fastball.

Trees begin to dry up and homeless people start to instantaneously combust in the valley of Northern California but the government insists that it's just a temporary heatwave and has nothing to do with climate change. Instead they put together a ragtag team of scientists to find a way to artificially green the grass of the capital city Sacramento without residents noticing in order to trick locals into thinking things are getting better and

to gain more votes at the upcoming election. Painting the grass. That's right. Love a ragtag team. Or finally, Chemis lives... She lived near Toots. I haven't said any of these out loud yet. Chemis. Chemis lives the daily grind in Manhattan until one day she inherits a rundown ranch in Ohio from her estranged father. Desperate for a better work-life balance chemist? I've never seen the films. I don't know if it's chemist or chemist.

Chemist? She's a pharmacist. It's chemist with an E instead of a T. I think it's Chemus but it could be Chemus. The studio loves the movie. We just have one note. Can you change Chemus? No. Can we change the name to Chemus? Chemus.

What are the words? Chem-i-e-e-e-e-e-e-e's beautiful. Desperate for a better work-life balance. Shamise. Shamise. That's a beautiful name. Desperate for a better work-life balance, Shamise decides to end up, end her life and take up the challenge of turning the dilapidated farm, geez that did sober things up a bit, into a gorgeous bed and breakfast. But will a greedy mare get her get in her way? And is there a spark of something more with her neighbor and farm vet Lance? It's time for Chamise to find out if the grass really is greener. A lot of mares in these movies.

Yeah, well, there always is. Yeah, there always is in every movie there's a mayor. Name one movie. Check it. Name one movie. And I'll tell you what the mayor is. Okay, Joker. Yeah, big time mayor in that one.

Deadpool. Hey, can I just quickly say, I think I said she decided to end her life. It was up and her life. It was like a lovely bones kind of situation. Oh, that's very different! Chemis! Chemis! Chemis, don't do it! Please, Chemis, no!

Chemis is different, there's options! Put the nooks down! Chemis! Alright, do you want to have a first crack here? Wow, there's a lot of beautiful options! A lot of moving to the country. Gonna eat a lot of peaches. Chimus.

Gonna eat a lot of chimus. Um, I... Maybe it's the one where they have to paint Sacramento, whatever that was. Paint Sacramento, okay. That was grass greener. I'm checked out. Actually, they're all are. It's funny, Quentin.

All right, locked in for Rowan. Barney. I'm loving the one in Belgium. I'm thinking, wow, that's good. 3K is up the road. They have to move. Yeah. That's not upending. The one in Belgium. I'm thinking, wow, that's good. Three K's up the road, they have to move. Yeah. That's not upending. Do they not have like, when's it set? 2019, they can't drive a car with three K's.

Well, that's in Belgium. True. True. My mistake. No, they have cars there, don't they? Yeah, they have cars. Bikes. What's their famous car? Motor transport. Manufacturer. They have a famous, don't they? Yeah, they have cars. Bikes. What's their famous car manufacturer? They have a famous car manufacturer in Belgium. Ford.

Oh, Ford. That's one of theirs. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So there was that one. There was the painting Sacramento. There was the sinister machinations.

There was that Chemus. There's like three different move to the countries. Yeah. Is there another one? What have you said? I said Chammas, Sinister Machinations. The Brie Family with the new start, the first one. Yeah. Which feels with the Machinations, you've said that Machinations. Belgian comedy with... Pregnant soccer ball, crazy link. Oh- And Pregnant Suckerball. Crazy Link. Oh yeah, Pregnant Suckerball and you got, yeah, Mare Toots from Belgium. Belgium.

Christopher Walken, the colourblind dancing kid. And you've got, yeah, the Bizarro suburbia place where things get a bit trippy. I don't mind the Christopher Walken one, but I'm pretty sure he had kind of retired by 2019. Really? I've seen him in stuff since then, I think. He's only, he came out of retirement for Dune. Yeah. Spoilers.

The first Dune, when was that? That was like 20. No, it wasn't in the first Dune, dude. Oh, well you said he came out of retirement for Dune, so. Yeah, Dune, it's the same movie, it's part two dude. Now you're he came out of a time of a Dune, so. Yeah, Dune. It's the same movie. It's part two. Now you're talking to us.

It's the same movie, dude. It's actually just part two of the same. Oh, OK. Sorry, I apologize for that. But I've seen him in that Adam Scott movie about his head being a part- That's true. And also in that one with the other- the Ricky Gervais old off-sider when they were doing community service.

I stand corrected. And yeah, did you remember Chemus? I remember Chemus. Yeah. Well, in the bizarro one. Remember Chemus. Now I forget Chemus. I'm going to choose...

What was the bizarro one again? In a day glow coloured bizarro version of suburbia where adults wear braces on their already straight teeth. Huh. And then there's like a passive aggressive... And then there's dogs in golden retrievers and all that kind of stuff. I hate that one. Nah, I'm gonna choose, I'm just gonna keep on doing...

It's cause that's yours. No! You can't choose, you choose it then. No, cause I'm too... Choose it'm gonna just gonna keep doing it. It's because that's yours. No. You can't choose. You choose it then. No, because I'm too... Choose it! Choose the shit one. You think this shit one's mine? Yeah.

No, sir. You think I went for the shit one? Did you go for the shit one? No, you went for a different one. You went for Sacramento. I retract myself. I can't. I'm gonna choose what I want. And that's the Belgian one.

All right. With meert that's the Belgian one. All right. With meh toots Theelsman. All right. Lock on in for Barney. At least just Ben Russell. I'm going to go with the colourblind one because I am colourblind. Not fully but a lot. Wow.

And so I see myself in that story. And so you're not colourblind. I am colourblind. But not fully. I can see colours, but not a huge range. Not a huge range. No. They all kind of start to look the same.

The grey. Yeah. You don't see race? No No. Yeah well. Good. I see Barneys. That's all you see? Yeah. Yeah. I stand out. Alright, here's who wrote the answers. No, let's keep on going. The family who was recently bereaved, who moved from California to Vermont to start a new life. That was Barney. Yeah, good one. Nice and succinct as well.

Thank you. Thank you. Yeah. I didn't pick you though. No, it's a synopsis, guys. So it's meant to be sort of... Yeah, right. Quick. OK. The one about Chemis, that was Ben Russell.

Hello? It's pronounced Shemeese. It's pronounced Shemeese. That is a real name. Any name is a real name. Yeah. It's a beautiful name. I loved it, but I saw it.

I'm like, oh. How do you C-H-E-M-I-S? C-H-E-M-I-S-E. Shemeese. Shemeese. I'm like, oh. How do you... C-H-E-M-I-S? C-H-E-M-I-S-E. Chamise. Chamise. Chamise. Chamise. It's a beautiful name. It's French.

Is that what? It's not. It's a French. They have a little accent on the E. Chamise. Chamise. Chamise. Okay, it's a beautiful name.

I had it for people having kids. Let's just chuck that one on the list with... What's her last name? Wetzlar. Wetzlar. Chamise Wetzlar. I think. Beautiful name. For people having kids, let's just chuck that one on the list with What's her last name?

Wetzlar. Wetzlar. Shemece Wetzlar. Wow. So Barney went for the Belgian one about Toot Steelsman moving 3Ks off the road. That was actually written by Jacoby.

Oh, Jacoby. He just fucked us. He just gave the game to the house, man. I always give the game to the house. Well, helping the house as well. Raewyn Pickering also went for the house. That was written by Jacoby as well. The house is won.

What? Ben Russell. Wait, so what was the real one? Ben Russell went for the one about colour blindness and Christopher Walken He talked himself out of it and then back into it because of Christopher Walken, but that was Raewyn Pickering Oooooh! Well done Raewyn, nice. And the correct answer, no one. I did not hear that it was 2019. So yeah, that is pretty late in Christopher Walken's career to be an old man. The one that uh... It's like Seven Psychopaths Christopher Walken.

The one that Ben was trying to force Barney to go for about the pregnant soccer ball, that is correct. What? I hate that. I hate that. It sounds like it is a hard watch, but the critics like it. It has a score of 82% on Rotten Tomatoes critics, but only 58% the audience. So it's one of those kind of movies.

Jacobi Rides Greener Grass is one of the most upsetting films I've ever seen. It is technically a very well made film. It has a, he says, technically with reference to the technique displayed. Oh, Jacobi. Ludo from Scarred. Bit of a cinephile. Yeah. It has a spectacular look to it. The colouring really pops. Sorry, Ben, to bring that up.

And the set design does a great job. Bring to life, the AstroTurf 1980 something hyper suburbia. It's the story, acting, directing and editing choices that are distressing. Every creative decision in this movie is purposely made to put the viewer in a state of confusion or unease or nausea If you can handle that kind of experience and shift into the same gear as the film then it can be an oftentimes Absurd and darkly hilarious my wife Margaret blindsided me with green grass one night Told me not to look it up or anything So I was metaphorically hit with the full force of this movie over the back of the head.

And yeah, I don't know if that sounds like a nice experience or not, but... So the house of course only gets single points in the final round, whereas everyone else gets triples. So here is the final scores. Things tightened up a little bit. At one point, the leader dropping to fourth place on four points, it's Barney. Who's that? Who's that?

It's you. Oh, with a big triple point call in the final round moving into third place on five points is Rowan Pickering. Congratulations, Rowan Pickering. Come from behind. Congratulations. In second place on six points is Ben Russell, but out in front on eight points, it's The House.

Oh, fuck! Really coming home with a wet sail. Getting multiple points in the fluff. Wet slap. Coming home with a wet slap. I think that's a sandwich. Sandwich is a wet slap. I think there is a sandwich called a wet slot. Really?

Yeah. I don't- you don't want a wet sandwich. Or the bread's dry. Sometimes you do want a wet sandwich. I don't mind it being wet inside if the bread is from running its integrity. Yeah, if I'm talking like a sauce, you know, or like an egg. Yeah, yeah, you're right. Or runny. Juice.

Slippin'. Yeah, like a wet rat. Slippin', sliding. Like a slippery rat. Yeah. That's the name of a sandwich as well, isn't it? Slippin'. Yeah, like a wet rat. Slippin' slide. Like a slippery rat. That's a name of a sandwich as well, isn't it? Slippery rat. I don't think so. No, probably not. Ah, Raven, where can people find you?

You do a monthly comedy room. Yeah, I do a monthly comedy room. I come down to Miss Moses. Miss Moses called? In Brunswick. And the? Miss Moses comedy. Oh, is it?

What happened to? Oh, Deathbed comedy. Deathbed comedy. That song go on, is it? No. It's called... In Brunswick. And the... Miss Moses comedy. Oh, is it? What happened to... Oh, Deathbed comedy. Deathbed comedy. That's long gone, is it? No.

It's still... Yeah, I guess it's Deathbed. This is a cohesive plug. This is very... It's got two names. Very simple to follow. Yep. Yep. But it's on Miss Moses. First Wednesday. First Wednesday of every month.

Come on. Come on down. Always a bit of fun. Yeah. Barney, what about you? Will people find me? Yeah. 13 p***s with my address.

So come around. Um. He doesn't have a floor. Don't have a floor. It's filthy in there. Trust me. Um, uh, Barney.Polic on Instagram or at the Improv Conspiracy Theatre or when Thank God Your Hair Comes Out on August 14th.

Exciting. Can you tell us about all the guests and the scenarios? Absolutely. Ben, what about you? My name is Ben. Yeah. Oh, hello, Ben. Yep. You could catch me.

Just look to the east. You remain east of everyone, don't you? Yeah. Yeah. Look to the east on a clear blue day. You can't tell it's blue. I can tell blue. Whoa. I can tell blue.

It's one of the few things I can tell blue. Whoa. I think I did. Sorry. I can tell blue. Yeah. It's one of the few things I can tell blue. That's good. And I'll be there and just whisper. Bam, bam. And do a- Shmeez. And whisper Shmeez and stick something up your bum. Okay.

And I'll be there to pull it out. I reckon that might to pull it out. I reckon there might be a fair bit in the post credits section today, so stick around after the song if you want to hear some nonsense. Thanks so much for listening. Please give us a five star review. 100th episode coming up next week. Very exciting. Wow. Wow. Already been recorded this time. Ben had to- people were excited to see you, but you had to play because you got a- you got another big opportunity on that day.

Yeah, I've got another live podcast. Yeah. Oh. That I have to go to. Yeah. Because I put- when you asked me, I was like, sure. And then I put that date in the next- so next week. Yeah, we'll do it again next week. Yeah, do the 100th episode. And then, yeah, a bigger podcast came through.

Yeah. But not only bigger, better as well, isn't it? Bigger and better. And I'm going to give their- I'm going to give Who Knew It with Matt Stewart a big plug. Give them a big leg up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They've both been on it. So when they go, Ben, do you have anything to plug? I'll be like, yeah, you can catch me on Who Knew It with Matt Stewart.

Fantastic. And you'll get- I reckon it'll bring people in. I think it will. Yeah. I think it could give us a real bomb. Because unlike today, I will be on- I'll be on fire. I'm gonna have a good sleep. If you can weave in chemise as well, that'd be fantastic. Maybe I will. Maybe I will. Maybe I won't. Maybe I will.

That's the thing. Maybe I will. Maybe I won't. Okay. Cheers for tuning in to Who Do It With Matt Stewart. Now that you know it, I'll be Matt Stewart. Goodbye. Oh, Barney. Yes. So you send your answers to me via like a DM on Instagram or just yeah do it Instagram because we've already got the check. Raymond do you mind if I vape? You've already done it. Better do ask for forgiveness.

Raymond can I vape? I won't if you say no. That's not true. No, but it is fine. OK. OK. No, I'm respectful. What? That's it. But you've only asked Raewyn, which is again a Malay. Did you know?

I've got it around you, but it's too late to ask you. And he vapes already, so it doesn't even matter. It really felt like a little malady. Is it okay? Yeah, that's what I thought. No, no, because I don't care what he thinks anymore. Because I've vaped in front of him, in his face, in his butt. Yeah.

But with you, you know, I don't know where you stand. Wow. Yeah. Interesting. And some people are fucking nerds. You weren't sure if I'd be cool. Yeah. Yeah, it's supposed to be like,

Hey Ray, were you cool? Am I sitting up as a cool person or a fucking dork? That loves rules. Because everything you've done so far has been so cool. You know, they're saying all that stuff before. What stuff? What? Huh? I didn't say anything.

Yeah, you did. No, I didn't. Yeah, you did. All I said was that... ... That bit. Which is true. I regret deleting the other stuff because that would have been a little bit of

leverage. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But now I've got nothing. I'm sorry. I'm in the other stuff because that would have been a little bit of leverage. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But now I've got nothing. I'm sorry. I'm in the palm of your hand. I did bring in too much. I went too hard and I actually regret it. Okay.

Well, hey, let's have a fresh start. Okay. Uh, we good to go? What? That's how... No, stop. Stop it. I can't. I'm an edgelord. You are the original. No, stop it.

I can't. I'm an edgelord. You're the original. Yeah, I'm not- I don't do comedy so much as I speak the truth. You're a mirror man. Mirror man. Mirror man. He tastes like- he smells like bubble gum. He tastes like he smells like bubble gum. He tastes like bubble gum.

That's what happens when I get. Ben, let's have a lick if you ask me. I kiss. I kiss. Yeah. Kiss on demand. You have to demand it. You have to come up to me and go, give me a kiss.

I'll be like, well, that's kiss on demand. All right. And I'll give you a little, and you'll be like, tastes like bubble gum. Mmm. That's what happens when you get. I have to come up to him and go, Give me a kiss! And I'll be like, well, that's a kiss under me. Alright. And I'll give you a little, and you'll be like, tastes like bubble gum. That's badass.

Yeah, exactly. I just realised that the first time on the podcast I'm going, Yeah, don't sign up for the Patreon, because you want to collect those two dollars every month. Yeah, but I mean, you've got to think about this, they're from Glasgow. So they're on the fucking pound. Yeah, so it'd be less than two pounds. It'd be less than two.

I mean, you talk about the conversion rate. Oh yeah, don't get me started on that. You know, you go over there and you go, well, you just, you know, just got double everything there. And so you just have it, don't you? And what's a pound? You know, what's a P amongst 3s? A P amongst 3.

That's a great point. What's everyone's deepest, darkest fear? Mine's dying alone. Hmm. Hmm. You gotta change your ways. Yeah. You're gonna have to do a lot of work if you don't want that to happen.

You are a psychopathology. No, I am not going to change my behavior, but I am going to say it's going to be different. OK, I don't like that you're sitting this close to me Ben. You've now molested both my laptop and my coffee cup. How did you stop? I'll do it again. This coffee does not have any sugar in it.

I told her one sugar. Well she disrespected you dude. Dude you're lucky to have one. Mine's pretty sweet. It doesn't really? No. Oh god. I, she disrespected you, dude. Dude, you're lucky to have one. Mine's pretty sweet. It doesn't really? No. OK.

I think she just forgot. Rayon said no sugar and you said one sugar. And I literally said, I showed her the message and I said... No, I just dated some sweetness. They just didn't mix it in. Sometimes in cafes they just go, oh, yep. Forget about that. This guy doesn't know.

What's it like? This cafe is really good, but I did say, make this really shit. I don't like this guy. Did you? Yeah. What did they say to that? That's weird. They said, oh, hey, anything for you, Mr.

Stewart, they said. I'll get a lot of respect in there. Yeah, right. They know my name. They rarely use it. And I think that's powerful. Yeah, because you can't. Mark of respect.

Yeah, you can overuse someone's name. If people know your name and refuse to say it. Raewyn, what do you think about this? Raewyn. Barney. What's Barney short for? Barnet? Barnet. Yeah.

Is it? Actually. No. Barn? Barnyard? What's a Barnette? Barnette. Yeah. Is it? Actually. No. No, no. Barn? Barnyard? What's a barnette? Barnyard. Yeah. Yeah. Where I was born, where I was raised and where I'll die. Oh, it's beautiful.

Yeah. Thank you. Lots of friends there. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. There's a pig, there's a spider, there's... Name one third. A goose? Yeah. You know a goose? Oh, probably. Spider, there's... Name one third. A goose? Yeah. A goose?

Oh, probably. There's a pig. Spider. Spider goose. Spider goose. A web. There's a web. Charlotte?

Yeah. And it's Charlotte. It's the name of the web. Charlotte's web. Do you understand been shaking his head Raiwen got it quick yeah cuz Raiwen loves farms yeah do you love Raiwen's actually I'm actually the premier farm with farm comedian as we all heard. What's your favorite bit of farm equipment? These babies. Hands. She's showing us her hands. I'm in deep. I'm in deep. You farm by the laws of

armish. No lube and I'm in deep. You do farm armish style don't you? No, it's hands-ish. Yeah. Sorry, Matt, you were wrong. It's hands-ish. It's not arm-ish. Yeah, it's not arm-ish. Do you get it? It's a very complicated word. It's really quite beautiful. It's very subtle.

OK. You are in the zone. That's how it is. You are in the zone. You got anything it is. You are in the zone. You got anything coming up here on a plug, Ben, while they're writing? Yeah, I'll be in Brisbane doing shows at Goodchat towards the end of this month. Awesome. From the 28th. What a great place.

Yeah. I'm going to be- I'm doing a- Who Knew It up there in, I think it's in October for the Caxton Street Festival. Yeah. One day. And I'll also be doing some shows up in Bendigo at some point. I fucking don't even know. That's the Bendigo Comedy Festival.

Sick. I think I'll be doing one there too. And then I, the new season of Thank God You're Here comes out to August 14th. And I go to, I'm going to the United States of America at the end of September. Just on a little holiday. So check that out. Check me out there. Where about? I'll be going to Hawaii and Los Angeles.

Oh, that's awesome. And then, uh, you're going to do a few meetings. Is it pilot season? Not working. That's not, but pilot season doesn't really exist as much anymore. It's kind of not streaming. Is that what they told you? Changed it.

Yeah. But, yeah, I'm going to go there for a bit of business, bit of pleasure. Going to Austin, visit some family there and going to see- That makes sense, your Froggoat family, because they're a weird state or city, aren't they? Stay weird. They're Republicans. The Republicans are weird. But I don't mean it like that, but in Austin, that's their motto is stay weird. Yeah, stay weird. Yeah. Austin's like a blue city in one of the brightest, reddest states in America.

So, it should be, it's going to be an interesting place because I'm going to stay there for the election. I had the best time in Austin. I watched Rome fall. Front row seats. Yeah, I want to see. I got front row seats to the end. I'm looking forward to it.

All right. There is a chance that it could actually be a happy ending, which is even more exciting. And that happy ending is if Trump gets through. And they act while you're being jerked off. Yeah. Joking. I should say 50% of the listeners are big Trump fans, so they'll be happy with. I think there is something wrong with your brain. A bit old and apparently had a bit of backlash. People are like, where's

flaccid pancake? Hmm, makes you think. Too much? No. Do you want me to change it? No, no, no. I mean we've already done the... We've already had... we've been worse than this already I think. No we haven't. No, alright. That last... that first thing didn't exist. Is everyone... I'm just looking at the answer coming through. Can I just ask, is everyone getting a bit tired? I've never been more awake! I'm firing on all cylinders. Oh, boy. Just some beautiful wordsmithery here. Well, it is the NT News. You've got to really, like, get into it. You've got to put yourself in the mind of someone that works.

Territorian. Yeah, the Territorory and it's hot God's country. Yeah and that's rad not gonna say another word about it because Every what else could you say every few minutes someone gets torn apart? part. Must be great to sit over there with all the answers. Having a little chuckle. Yeah. Do you do? Do you ever play this?

Do you do anything? Yeah. Do you ever do anything? Do you do? Do you ever do anything? No. I want to host. I'm going to host this show.

One. One F. Yeah. And you're going to play. But you can figure out how it feels. I want to host. I'm going to host this show. One. Yeah. And you're going to play, but you can figure out how it feels. I'd love to. All right. Great. Wow. That's it. I mean, it's a it's more work than it seems.

Hosting this. I doubt that. It seems like very little. I reckon if anything, you make it look harder than what it is. Pretty confident that's true. Go back to school with Rogers and get Canada's fastest and most reliable internet. Perfect for streaming lectures all day or binging TV shows all night. Save up to $20 per month on Rogers Internet. Visit rogers.com for details. We got you. Rogers.