Who Shat On The Floor At My Wedding? And Other Crimes - S2 BONUS EPISODE - ‘Hawaiian shirt fashion show’

Episode Date: February 13, 2025

In this special bonus episode, the team reveal their biggest failure of Season 2.How did they end up in the middle of nowhere in Sweden, with Karen directing a musicless fashion show with 13 models who are all wearing Hawaiian shirts? One thing becomes extremely clear - not all failure leads to success.Follow us on instagram for the case evidence and behind the scenes. And if you’re the victim of a non crime crime, and want to submit your case for pro bono detective services, please report it at whoshatontheflooratmywedding.com  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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or visit connectsontario.ca. Please play responsibly. Do you believe that failure leads to success? Models, models, regroup over here please. Do you tell others, don't be afraid to fail? We all got our numbers. Yeah, if we can already line up along here, number one here. Where's number two?

Or do you say failure is not the opposite of success, it's part of success? You can go here please, number three. Here. Number four. Five, six. What if I was to tell you, you are living a lie? You can fail. And in those dark twisted failures, there is no success. What we're going to do is we're going to walk this way. You're going to start, number one, and I want your best moves. I want you to sell this shirt. You can do better.

You're going to loop all the way around here. And this is the main runway right here and you've got your audience here. This is your moment. Sell it. Sell it. Sometimes it's better not to try. I'm Detective Lauren Kilby and together with my assistant, Karen Whitehouse,

and her assistant, Helen McLaughlin, we're going to tell you a short story about failure. Our most significant failure of season two. An incident that until now has been edited out of the podcast for reasons that will become very clear to you. You're a Hawaiian shirt fashion model, and then I want you to fan back out here and face your audience.

Is that clear? This is the case of the tiny suitcase bonus episode. How did we end up in the middle of nowhere in Sweden with Karen directing a fashion show with 13 models who are all wearing Hawaiian shirts? We were on a call with Christina were 13 models who were all wearing Hawaiian shirts. We were on a call with Christina, discussing the items that were in the suitcase. And I opened it and in it I found

a Hawaii shirt worn but washed. And she confirmed that she donated the Hawaiian shirt, along with a few of the other items found in the suitcase, to a second-hand shop down the road. We tracked down the owner of that shop to find out if she still had that exact Hawaiian shirt, because that would be critical evidence for our case. Well, my name is Birgit.

I started, among other things, working with vintage clothes and old things. Christina has been at my shop quite a lot of times. There was a Hawaiian shirt. I've had a Hawaiian shirt. Ideally we can find the shirt again that Christina gave to you because it will be important evidence for us. Is there any chance if anyone comes across a Hawaiian shirt, if we could see a picture of it and possibly buy it off them? Yes, I think so. We are coming to Sweden?

Yeah, I heard. By then we know better what's in there. We could do a line up of all of the Hawaiian shirts that you have there and get Christina to look at them and say, that was the one. Do you agree, Lauren? Yeah, I think that's a very good idea. We'll just need to get some models in to wear the items and maybe we can have like a runway show a fashion show yes of course because I've had such

shows maybe you can be there like the conductor of the fashion show yes local people to wear all the Hawaiian shirts and we can judge if they are suspicious items or not. That's quite something yeah. I don't know how many Hawaiian shirts we have. We basically need to get our hands on every single Hawaiian shirt and review it. And put a fashion show together. That's all.

I'm not asking much. Just that. Sounds fun. It's very standard detective work. A simple technique that we'll be using in this investigation. We'll see you at the fashion show. We'll see you at the fashion show. Yeah, see you at the fashion show. Yeah.

A simple, meaningless, light-hearted joke. That is how the path to failure began. We never actually intended to organise a fashion show in Sweden. But two things happened. Number one, Birgit, the second-hand store owner, uncovered 10 Hawaiian shirts in her storage facility and started messaging Karen about her recruitment process to bring on board the models

who would be showcasing those shirts. Number two, Helen heard about the idea and had some opinions to say the least. And she's compiled 10 shirts already that came from her storage that might fit the bill. And we're gonna do a lineup of all of the shirts, get some sort of, you know, local male models. Well, why didn't you tell me why we're doing

a lineup of suspicious items? Because Christine has to identify which was the Hawaiian shirt. It's likely that one of those ten coming from storage. But this is not the Hawaiian shirt? It might be. Oh you think it might be? Christina returned the Hawaiian shirt to this shop ten years ago. Yeah but she's still got like how often did Hawaiian shirts get sold from a second? No one buys those. Do they not? You've got one. I wore one on Thursday. Your boyfriend has got one. Like people wear them. You wear them. Right.

So the idea is, is basically is, is one of these Hawaiian shirts, the actual shirt that was in the case and what will that prove? Why else we've been talking about the Hawaiian fashion show for ages. I know. And I was all very caught up in it, but more just for the joy of such an event. But like now I'm wondering why. Why not? I mean yeah, why not?

Do you understand what we're saying? It's very likely that the 10 Hawaiian shirts that were uncovered in storage, one of them will be the shirt that was in the suitcase. And what will that prove? It's more evidence. It's evidence. Oh, okay. It's gathering evidence, Helen.

Okay, okay. So yeah, is either, would it be helpful to see one of the key bits of evidence or not? Or not. Would you just prefer to just not get evidence? It's hard to get so let's just ignore it. The fashion show is gonna be fun. Yeah, but who's there? You need people for a fashion show. You can't be like- It's a line-up. It's not gonna be a fucking like New York or London or Paris event where they're like modeling

the parques. It's producing this, like it's just us three. I thought, and in fact I believe you've promised quite a bit more, what you promised the lady who's found the Hawaiian shirts was more or less a- A fashion show. Yeah, but a fashion show is not ten people walking wearing shirts and one person sat there looking at it. Helen, it can be whatever you want it to be.

She's not like speaking full performance of lights. She actually was a little bit. I think actually Helen has got a bit of a point. She was like, how many people should I get the local community to? I've had a few weird Instagram exchanges with her. Wait a minute, so she's actually expecting a full on fashion show.

And I think the way you described it as a blooming fashion show. I did say a fashion show, but that's the way we called it. Yeah, but you've always stopped it. I had to stop her involving the whole community, basically, at one point. I was like, no, no, no, because we're doing a recording. It has to be like, you know, we can't have too much noise. We just need the Hawaiian shirts, models and Christina to do like the witness,

the line up. Which is why I think it would be more fun if you want to do an actual. So instead of doing a traditional, so a traditional lineup, hear me out, traditional lineup is where you've got, you know, six people in front of those like boards, you know, and then Christina more or less would walk in front of them and then choose which she thought was the one that she saw. Whereas you could do it a different way, which is where you're sat around in like a giant horseshoe shape with multiple people and then each Hawaiian shirt comes out on a

man, you know, and then he walks and then walks off again. Yeah, we're not doing that. Yeah, well that's what I thought you were gonna do and it was hilarious. Maybe you just, maybe I made that up myself because I'm funnier. But what you're saying, what you're explaining is a Hawaiian shirt fashion show. That's what it was described as. Yeah, that's what we're doing. We're doing a Hawaiian shirt fashion show. That's what it was described as. That's what it was described as. Yeah, that's what we're doing. We're doing a Hawaiian shirt fashion show.

It's just on a minute to scale. Okay. So instead of someone sitting in a horsey shape, it's just us three. So, okay, so hear me out. So the idea that you're doing a fashion show means that you usually need people. I actually think I have to leave the room soon.

I can't handle this anymore. But you're getting really weird. You need people for a fashion show. Okay, are you worried about the audience size? Yeah. So I was like... How many people do you think have to be in the audience for it to qualify as a fashion show? Well... How many? Can you organize it for us? I don't have the time to do that. Ten! We're already three of us plus Christina plus all of the models. Plus my mom I know I think we can call it a fashion show Helen We need to say our expectations or she's gonna be upset. Okay. Well, I think I know what you want

I think we just need to change the name of the Hawaiian shoot fashion show to Line up. Yeah, or just a small Hawaiian shit Is there you on tiny? Oh, you love the word tiny a tiny Hawaiian. Is there what you want fashion show tiny, oh you love the word tiny, a tiny Hawaiian fashion show. Oh my god you guys. Okay that's good, let's move on. Yeah, brilliant, yeah awesome. So that's sorted. Attention passengers, this is your captain speaking.

We are now starting our descent towards Gothenburg in Sweden. We expect to touch down at 10.55am local time. We hope you enjoyed the flight and thank you for flying with us. We're now in Sweden on the final day of our first trip. The final breakfast, the final day. Where's Helen? Sleeping. We have not yet cracked the case. Hey, you're a Canadian podcast listener, and that makes you important to us. We'd like to know more about you, what you think of this podcast, and the other podcasts you'd like to hear. So we've put together a super brief survey we'd like you to fill out, complete it, and we'll give you a chance to win one of three $100 Amazon gift cards.

That way we can say thanks for your opinion. Just go to mypodcastsurvey.ca and have your say. That's mypodcastsurvey.ca. There are about 15,000 other things we should be doing, but instead we are prepping for a Hawaiian shirt fashion show that kicks off at 3pm. What I love is our deadline. We've got, it's 9.30 now, we have to be at a Hawaiian fashion show Slash line up at 3. That is our deadline I just love that Hawaiian and really unimportant Hawaiian fashion show is literally putting so much pressure on us to crack this case

The Hawaiian fashion show in a bizarre twist is the pressure is the pressure And the funniest thing about it. Okay, so the best case scenario at the Hawaiian Shirt Fashion Show, she recognises one of the Hawaiian shirts. Which she won't. No, no, but let's say best case scenario. She sees it, she goes, that's the one. We still don't have any information to proceed with that. Nothing.

So if the best thing happens today at the Hawaiian Shirt Fashion Show, we still have nothing. And it's a waste of, basically, the most important, crucial part of the last day where we could be solving the crime. It's perfect. And Helen's asleep. Perfect. And then we have to play it completely natural with this Hawaiian Shirt Fashion Show. Like, we're really relaxed and really enjoying it when we know that there's a killer on the loose. Do we need like...

Oh no, we can't have music. That's what I love about doing these undercover, like all these recordings, we have the most soulless, silent events. And one thing that's always at a fashion show is music for the models to walk to. And we will not have that. The moment has arrived. We find ourselves in a car arriving at a warehouse in the middle of nowhere in Sweden with 13 Swedish models and my mother eagerly ready to be directed and an entire audience of people as per Helen's

request with high expectations ready to see a really well planned fashion show with great music but we have no music and no great plan. We have a 13 Hawaiian shirts in the boot of our car. There's like a whole car park full of people. Oh, who are those people? Fuck's sake. Who are those models? Are they the models? Yeah, I think so. I just want 30 seconds. 30 seconds in the car.

What are they carrying in? What are you doing with 30 seconds in the car? I just want to sit for 30 seconds. You need a minute? Yeah. Yeah, I feel that way too. Yeah. I still like you both though, which I was wondering whether I'd feel this way. But you're married.

You have to like each other. We've spent two years together, like 24-7. Don't start with a distraught. I think we can cope with a couple of weeks in Sweden. No, but we'd be very close to Lauren as well, and I still like Lauren. It could have really been make or break. Come on then.

Come on, we've got to get in there. There she is. Oh my god. Come in, Karen. Jesus Christ. Hello. Hello. Look at all these beautiful models.

What are you doing here? Oh, what I'm doing here. Look at this. Right, so I'm going to give everyone a number now. Is it starting? Well, I'm just... Lovely. This one is small, and then there are large and extra large.

How are we going to do this? I'm not sure. Karen's the director. Karen, you're the director. What do you want for this? What's your vision? Karen here. Just to clarify, we never discussed that I would be the fashion show director. So what you're hearing right now is Detective Lauren Kilby completely throwing me under the bus. Meanwhile, Helen is avoiding all eye contact faffing with something

behind the closed rails. So here I am on my own in front of 13 expectant models all looking for guidance. And you know what? It might not be perfect, but I'm going to give it a damn good go. No thanks to my workmates. We'll just, we'll create a sort of line, I think. Maybe we might move those mirrors. Oh no. We can just do a line throughout here and just, we just, a parade, a simple walking parade I see. And then we all fan out with the numbers and then Christina has to walk in front of all the models To identify which one most represents

Yeah, oh wow, this is I think this one will bring out the color of your eyes You happy with this one? Color of your eyes. Which one for Linda? This one. We're going to need silence on sit. I can see you in that. I quite like that actually. It's very you.

I don't think I've ever seen so many Hawaiian shirts in one place. What enticed you to want to be a model today? Why did you offer? Birgit asked me on Facebook. Yeah, we have a house here in the surroundings, so it was suitable for us to come. It was convenient for you to be a model today. Where are the numbers? Oh no, you can't get out of this now. Sorry, what was your name? They're over here. Oh no, you can't get out of this now.

Sorry, what was your name? Hege. Hege? Hege? Yeah, like, but Hege. Hege, Hege. Hege and Jan, the models. Oh, Hege and some more models.

This is so weird. This is ridiculous. Right, so I think we're ready to go. And I think they can do the loop four times in total. What? You can do three loop four times in total Just four it's no big deal. It's no problem for us. I want you to make it you you do you you find your moment Find your inspiration and just feel free three two one and stop Start. Hi. Hi again. Lovely. That's it.

And one more loop. And fan out. And fan out. And fan out. And fan out. And fan out. And fan out. And fan out.

And fan out. And fan out. And fan out. And fan out. And fan out. And fan out. And fan out. And fan out.

And fan out. And fan out. And fan out. And fan out. And fan out. And fan out. And more loop. And fan out and pose. What do you think, Christina? Do you want to take a little walk up and down your suspect line up? Yeah. Take your time.

Now Christina, if you can pick the numbers that most resemble the shirt for them to step forward. Number one and number six. And are there any other shirts here, Christina, that you'd like to be modelled? It's not necessary. No? No. Now, can you describe what you see with candidate number one? Now, can you describe what you see with candidate number one?

It's a colour that I'm looking at, the ground colour that is blue, kind of pale blue, and kind of discreet in the colours, the other colours, and also the shape of the shirt. And then what about candidate number six? It's also about this blue, the pale blue, and the kind of discreet colours. It's not so... The colours are screaming at us that they are quite discreet.

So, yeah. And do you think that you are looking at, with candidate number one and six, do you think they might be wearing the actual Hawaiian shirt that you found in the suitcase that was deposited on your veranda back in April the 1st, 2011? on your veranda back in April the 1st 2011. Due to all the effort you have all made, I'm sorry to say that I can't say that either this one or that one is the actual skirt, Hawaiian skirt. Even the... They are on the right way, both of them. But it's not it.

It's not it. I'm so sorry for all the effort you've been making, but I have to, you know, they have a lie detector and so on, so I can't just say things that are not true. just say things that aren't true. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Sigh of relief.

Yeah. Well, I think this has been a very helpful witness statement because this is one of the main pieces of evidence we didn't have any information on. So I would like to thank you all for your participation in this fashion show. Great performances. Detective, is there anything else you'd like to add?

There's a chance that all of you could also be suspects in the crime. We don't tend to rule that out. I don't know if we have this many handcuffs because there's quite a few people here. We can improvise. Yeah, so if you could just stay behind and yeah you'll just need to hand in your phone for some observational checks. Any problems with that?

No? Okay, great. No, that's all I've got to say. Thanks. So if you'd hand your numbers in to me and you can relieve yourself of your Hawaiian shirts. Unless you want to buy it, of course. Which we will see is suspicious.

They're all buying them. Look at all those Hawaiian shirts flying off the shelves. Thank you. Thanks for your time. Oh my god. I wasn't buying. That was horrific. Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god.

Let's put Reg ratchet on. Okay. So there you have it. Proof that failure is not always the path to success. And personally for us, the quiet sound of the shuffling of strangers' shoes walking to a music class fashion show will always be a triggering sound to us, the sound of failure. That said, we are incredibly grateful to Burgett and

all the exceptional models for taking time out of their day and supporting our Hawaiian Shirt Fashion Show. We let you down on this occasion. For that we are sorry and we will do better next time. You can witness the Hawaiian Shirt Fashion Show on our Instagram page at whoshatontheflooratmywedding or you can choose not to do that and your life will be no different. Hey you're a Canadian podcast listener and that makes you important to us. We'd like to know more about you, what you think of this podcast, and the other podcasts you'd like to hear.

So we've put together a super brief survey we'd like you to fill out, complete it, and we'll give you a chance to win one of three $100 Amazon gift cards. That way, we can say thanks for your opinion. Just go to MyPodcastSurvey.ca and have your say. That's MyPodcastSurvey.ca.