Who Shat On The Floor At My Wedding? And Other Crimes - S3 E13 Santa Snatcher

Episode Date: December 18, 2025

On 14th December 2019, a child-sized decorative Santa vanished from The Strawberry Hall pub in Dublin.But this wasn’t your average festive felony.Within 24 hours, photos of the kidnapped Santa began appearing on a dedicated Instagram account, mocking the pub, and taunting Ireland.And then came the twist no one was prepared for.
Santa wasn’t just stolen…
he was being held for ransom.
For €5,000, to be precise.As the investigation deepens, the plot thickens with every clue. Was this the work of opportunistic thieves? A carefully orchestrated prank? Or most disturbingly - was this an inside job?It’s beginning to look a lot like… evidence.The next case opens on 1st Jan.Support us on Patreon http://patreon.com/whoshatontheflooratmyweddingFollow us on Instagram @whoshatontheflooratmywedding for case evidence and behind-the-scenesSound design by @juanthummler Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This is a story set against the backdrop of a city in full festive bloom. Dublin, Dublin at Christmas. Everyone's in the pub. You probably see a good few people in Christmas jumpers. Points, merry, festive, music, lights, busy action. If they have a fire, they'd have the fire going as well. In the western suburbs on a quiet countryside road, lies a pub famous for its festive traditions.

Christmas decorations of all sorts, just covering the walls, the ceiling. It's just looking so festive. An institution that comes alive in the lead up to Christmas. It would be a huge crowd and I would be on Guinness and I would have 50 Guinness points on the bar at all times. And I'd be shouting to people around me. More glasses, more glasses, more glasses. Good points, good boys, good field.

Change the keg, change the keg, change the keg, change the keg. Guinness just flies out. So it's the place to be? Oh yeah, definitely, yeah. The 2019 festive period was expected to deliver the same amount of laughter, joy and goodwill. A happy, wholesome Irish Christmas. Until it wasn't. The night of Saturday the 14th, 2019 started like any other.

Until something very special was stolen. A figure bursts through the pub's side door and vanishes into the dark. They're cradling something. It appears to be the size of an eight-year-old child, but it's still and lifeless. Their breath slices through the cold as they sprint for a waiting bus. The figure seems to be cackling in quite an aggressive way. The figure is gone. The season instantly shifts from festive cheer to festive fear.

And nothing about that Christmas would ever feel the same again. Is that Guinness? The best Guinness in Dublin. Yeah, that's the good stuff. Hello, I'm Declan Cummins. I'm the proprietor of the Strawberry Hall, public house on the strawberry, famous strawberry beds in Dublin. Well, we've been putting up Christmas decorations since 1950s.

I did them for 35 years, and they were over the top. In those days, you got huge big ones that were about 20 feet long, and when you put tum tacks into them and put them up to the ceiling, it nearly took the ceiling down. Everybody comes down, the phone never stops ringing. The decorations up, and when you say, yeah, then you can't look up.

It's too busy. I've had people coming in from Amsterdam and places like that to see them. So it's terrific. You said this started this tradition in the 50s. So who came up with the original tradition? My mother, those days, they were simple days. And my mother running the place, it wasn't over the top.

She had nice stuff hanging up. She died this year. I'm really sorry to hear that. She died in February. She would have been 98. But another two years and the pub is in the family a hundred years. There was always a sing-song every Friday, Saturday and Sunday in the pub. And then because my mother was always too shy.

she was a really good penis and my sister is a really good penis and I was a good penis until I went to a local herd boy's school and they called me a pussy so then I had to give up that up yeah and my mother

being so shy wouldn't get up to sing so I had to get up to sing for her I used to be mortified at seven or eight years of age having to stand up in front of a bar full of adults singing a song Did you have the voice of an angel? I still do.

I still do. In Mountjoy jail one Monday morning, high upon the scaffold tie, Kevin Barry gave his young life for the cause of liberty. That's enough. But it's not all sing songs and celebrations because this story is about to get really dark.

Because let's not forget, something was stolen. Well, we came in to work on morning. I just said to me, Jesus. I said, what? Santa's gone. Push the bar, open it up and Santa's gone. Santa's gone.

We just couldn't believe it. Santa's been kidnapped. Just don't believe it. On the 14th of December, 2019, an iconic child-sized decorative centre was stolen. He was last seen in the dart room at the Strawberry Hall pub on Saturday night. It's huge. How would you smuggle a judge? giant Santa out of a packed pub on one of the most busiest nights of the year.

People do mad things. How do they even get him out the door? Without anybody seeing them. This is the story of the Santa Snatcher. The kidnapping occurred right under everyone's noses. A clean lift carried out while the pub was open. It was bold. It was reckless and it was terrifying in its simplicity.

The next day, Sunday the 5th, The pub owner's daughter, Kira, couldn't contain her anger any longer. She took to Facebook. Our childhood Santa has been stolen from the dark room last night. Please return him. He's an important feature and we need him. And that was when the story took a darker turn. The day after the pub's Facebook-based cry for help, an Instagram account appeared.

At Strawberry Hall underscore Santa. The first signal that this was no ordinary theft. I saw on Instagram someone. reposted that Santa going on tour around Dublin, going to different pubs, different tourist spots. And then they brought him to Copperface Jacks at disco. He was in jail. He was in restaurants. And they keep putting up all these pictures of them. It was wild. Then came the attack, a post from the culprits aimed directly at the pub. I'm off on an adventure. I'll be back soon and stop stressing at Strawberry.com.

And then it continued to spiral from there. Probably the most alarming one is this, if you could describe the photo of where Santa is. Oh, it looks like Santa's about to get a lap dance. He's in a pink room that says playtime. Oh, nice. While Mrs Claus is away, Santa will play. The kidnapped Santa wasn't just missing.

He was being paraded through the streets of Dublin, like a trophy. The thieves taunted the pub staff from behind their Instagram account, posting smug updates as the followers piled Before long, something else became clear. Santa hadn't just been stolen. He was being held for ransom.

But unlike most ransoms, this money wouldn't go to the thieves. This money was going to charity. And that's when it went viral. And then the thieves said that they would only release to Santa if they raised $5,000 for charity. They put a price on Santa's head, and that price was $5,000. $5,000.

A group of thieves has abducted Santa. and declared a 5,000 euro ransom for charity before releasing him. Dublin pub appeals for missing Santa, which now has a mystery Instagram account. A Dublin pub stolen Santa has appeared on a high-profile Instagram page. Everyone was following it. It was on the radio, I remember. There was like Santa updates about where he has been,

and no one knew who did it. I think half the country was probably following it at the time. Who kidnapped Santa and held him to ransom for 5,000 euros. Which three words would you use to describe how you felt when you realised the santa had been stolen? Oh good fuck. What was that?

Oh good fuck. Oh good fuck. Yeah. Okay. We're taking Declan the pub owner's witness statement. He's an icon, but that's obvious. However, getting a straight answer from him, Who was the first person that told you it had gone missing?

I couldn't tell you. Or any answer at all? Who were your biggest suspects at the time? I had none. Was like pulling teeth. Can you tell the part of the story when you found out about the Instagram account? No. Do you have any recollection of what the photos were that were on that Instagram account?

No. It started out with Santa in IKEA and then he went on a little tour around Dublin, doing things like strip clubs and... He did. Do you remember the strip clubs? Club photo. No. This is a great witness statement. Yeah, exactly

really so much detail. You're lucky we're not the real police, Declan. The Santa was stolen from him, the one his wife Nolene bought. My wife bought it. Was she annoyed? I don't think she missed it either. Oh, for God's sake.

You'd expect at least some frustration toward the perpetrator. But Declan wasn't even flinching. He wasn't even remotely concerned. Or was that the perception he wanted to create? How did you feel at the moment you realised someone actually had stolen the centre? Was there any other feeling there? No.

But that's theft. It's theft. Oh, it's theft. But someone stole something from you? Yeah. It is. Why are you laughing at that? Okay, so that's good to know that I can just come and steal whatever I want from your pub and you won't care? Yeah, try it.

I'm going to take a keg of Guinness from you. Try us. I will bloody try it. We'll roll a couple of kegs out. Ticklin, I know that you seem to just be completely unfazed about, you know, property being taken from you. Property with a rich history. But was anyone else in your staff concerned about the centre being stolen at the time? No, not really.

No. It can't have just been pure happiness and joy to hear that someone has stolen something from your pub, you know, your decorations. that are based on decades of history, surely you were a little bit annoyed? I would have been annoyed at a time for a moment and said that, yeah, well, sure. But you can go out and buy another one. Okay, great.

So the crime doesn't really matter. Perfect. No stakes. Zero stakes. But I guess it's fine for Christmas to have a completely joke of a crime. Great. Okay, so you're not even a victim.

You can't. I'm not even a victim now, no. Oh, God, Declan. We need you to be a suffering victim. Yeah, it's better for our podcast if you can be suffering. Yeah, we need you to suffer. We need you to suffer and we need you to say I was so angry. When I saw the Santa disappeared, I couldn't believe my eyes.

I wanted to kill the person who stole it from me. Can you just be a bit more negative? Yeah, you're too positive. Can I get you to be an actor for a second, Declan? I want you to be a famous Hollywood actor right now and I would love you to say this line. I am Declan Cummings and someone kidnapped my Santa. I'm Declan Cummins.

I'm the motherfucker that robbed my Santa. I'm going to fucking kill him. Hey, motherfucker. You robbed my fucking Santa. I'm coming out to you to kill you, motherfucker. Wow, so we've gone from no emotion whatsoever. I'm finding it's really funny to sudden death threats. This is so unpredictable.

I love it. I love it too. Even though it is Christmas and we should be nice to everyone, but it is important that you understand that you are also a suspect in the story, Declan. As we're trying to, you know, investigate it and get to the bottom of the truth, you are a suspect. How do you feel about that? I've been suspected of loads of things.

One question I do need to know is how long does it take every year to put up these decorations? At least two weeks. Because that is a lot of time. Is that a team of people? Yeah. Yeah. And my wife's sister comes over from Malmo in Sweden every year to give her a hand with them. There'd be genuinely a bit of annoyance, though, when you spend so much time. It's such an investment of time to put these up every year. And it's a big thing for your business. I know you're finding it funny. It is funny, but it's also pretty annoying, because the time it will take to replace an iconic, very large, like, eight-year-old-sized Santa. It is annoying.

I can imagine that Nolene was annoyed because it would probably fall on her to get another item that is probably quite hard to source. Do you know where she got it from? Hog store and mower or somewhere like that. That's my wife. She puts a... Come here for a second. Is it Nolene?

Yeah, that's Nolene. Yeah, yeah. I am you. We asked Nolene and Dickland how the centre was returned. And then about three days before or two days before Christmas. The guys brought the Santa back. There he is. And then the Christmas said they walked into the Pope with him.

Brought the Santa back and said they'd made 10,000 euro for charity by kidnapping the Strawberry Hall Santa. So are you using more locks than usual with your decorations? We have security in now. Do you actually? George. Yep. George.

So George wasn't working when Santa was stolen. No. No. Declan was a tricky customer, but we put it down to banter. Do you think they'd always intended to do a charitable act? Oh my God, no. I'd say it was definitely a bit of backlash. This is Keith.

He's a local at the Strawberry Hall. Maybe they were points deep and they were like, oh, let's just take this Santa for the crack. I'd say it was like an impulse thing that there was never an intention of doing a charity. doesn't sound like a charitable cause was the motive on that Saturday night. No, I wouldn't say so. As we're talking to Keith, we turn our attention to the kidnappers' Instagram page.

There's a photo of four lads returning the Santa to the pub on Christmas Eve. This piece of evidence is on our Instagram page at Who's at the Floor at my wedding? This is a picture that the Strawberry Hall Santa Instagram account, the people that took the Santa hostage, They posted that with them outside the Strawberry Hall pub with the Santa supposedly returning the Santa so he's back in time for Christmas Day.

Why do you think they posted themselves? They proactively posted a picture of themselves and even tagged themselves so everyone knew who they were. Yeah, that's an odd one. They were probably, I would think they're just quite cocky. Yeah, I'm not sure why they would want to torment the pub owner. But it doesn't really add up to me

that they've taken the centre whilst being drunk, let's say, woke up in the morning, thought, fuck, what have we done? And then felt a bit of guilt because they've seen the post from the pub owner. And then suddenly decided to take it

on a big tour and then say there's a charity donation that you can make and then post themselves in the video returning it. None of this adds up to me. There is something a bit fishy about it, I have to say.

My spider senses were like there's something more to this story. I don't buy it. There's a few rumours going on out that it was one of the other pubs had taken this or it was themselves claiming it was stolen just so that they could get a bit of publicity in. That is an extremely intense allegation

that you're placing on the pub, Keith. You're saying that it was an inside job. Yeah, it wouldn't rule it out. Do you think they know the pub owner, personally? That's what I feel. I think that we need to find out what the connection is to the pub owner and those men in that photo.

These thieves, did you know who these thieves were before the incident? I would have known one or two of them because they played with Dublin. I support Dublin and a big support. I got to all their matches. And I love the dubs and I would have total trust in those people. They're really good people. You know the perpetrators. You knew the perpetrators prior to the crime being committed.

Some of them. I would have known one or two of them. them, yeah. Which ones? Do you know the names of the ones that you knew? I'm not going to say that over there, no, but one of them is a well-known Dublin footballer. And have these perpetrators been back to your pub since? I'm sure they have. Do you want to see the picture of the perpetrators with the pub owner and just assess what we think from that? Yeah, let's go. This is on Christmas Eve, this photo is taken on Christmas Eve, and it's quite an important bit of evidence.

We're now reviewing a photo of Declan with a couple of the perps. Declan, the pub owner, with two of the four perpetrators. Lads, he looked. Your man in the white jacket, looks like they've got very similar facial features. Their cheekbones are the same. They've got a very similar jaw. Wait, to the pub owner? Yeah.

To the pub owner or to each other? You think they're related? An inside job? Yeah. I wouldn't be surprised if it was. Like, they have a very similar nose, from what I can tell. Their cheekbones are mad high, each of them. Their jaws look pretty square both times.

And also the pub owner, Declan, is kind of like caressing his shoulder with his left hand. That, to me, looks like a caress that you would give to a family member. The pub owner looks very happy to see them as well. And I don't know if he would be. I'm sure he'd be a bit upset. set of them as well but he's bursing big rosy cheeks on him well I think he would be happy he's got his

Santa back that means a lot to him because of the link with his mother and he's had like massive free publicity so he's immediately touching them and congratulating them and being like oh guys thanks it was awesome I agree the touch is a bit much but if they have come up with this and this was all pre-ochestrated

like hats off to them like I just want to celebrate that because that is a genius scheme That is an incredible PR stunt. It really is. And Declan, by the way, looks fucking awesome. Look at his face. Yeah. I think we should go there this year and steal that, Santa.

Again? Interestingly, what I find really bizarre is I've reached out to the perpetrators in that other photo, and there's only one that I've managed to get in touch with successfully. And it happens to be the one that you think looks very much like the pub owner. Stop.

That's amazing. Is that the one? That's the one. I know I should be like, like supportive and kind and this should be a happy Christmas episode, but I just don't buy any of this. Something feels weird. It's a good outcome, even if it is

a setup. I'm happy with the outcome both ways. But are you? What do you mean happy with the outcome? What's the dark side of this story in your view? The dark side is that this was a PR stunt. So there's three possible scenarios here. One, that this is a masterful, pre-o-oquestrated PR stunt

to make the pub famous. Two, probably the darkest and I hope most unlikely scenario of all the perpetrators kept the money themselves and never gave it to charity and three is that this was just a spontaneous drunken prank that turned into a charity fundraising effort and it was just a genuine bit of crack. Bit of classic Christmas crack. I wonder if we should send that production assistant to go to that charity

because we've got, we know where it physically is and knock on the doors and be like, show us where that money went. Or something? Or maybe we should leave a charity out of it. Maybe we shouldn't go back cop on a charity. Yeah, I think breaking down the door of a charity is it's low. That's very low. It's crossing a line.

Understood. Karen. So I'm working on the edit already for Santa Swiper or for that's the working title. We went through the GoFundMe page with Keith. We asked him to read out the initial part of the GoFundMe page. If you read the first paragraph. Yeah. If that's okay.

Yeah, cool. And there were two people who had set up that page. The first one was something like Santa Claus, classic gag. The second one was a woman named Kera Kennedy. I know. I know there's a lot of people in Ireland are called Kera. It is probably one of the most popular names. There's a stronger chance than there was before

that Declan's daughter who runs the social media profile for the pub is the person who set up that GoFumme page. There is a possibility. And if Declan's daughter set up the GoFumme page, that means she was working with the perpetrators. Because I reached out to Kira, because I got the number from Declan

and I called her, left a message, didn't hear back and left a WhatsApp and never heard anything. Why is Declan's daughter avoiding us? Could she be hiding something? I need to know what her last name is. Oh, that's really, that's made me feel funny. But we do need to know who is Kira Kennedy.

Because if Kira Kennedy is Declan's daughter, then there is visible proof that she set up the GoFamily page. And therefore, this could be an inside job. Should I very quickly just call the guy that I know? Yeah. I'm just going to do it right now just because I feel like this is really important. The guy that I am on, WhatsApp with, who works at the pub.

Hey, how are you doing? It's Karen. Hi, Karen, how's things? Good, thank you. I've got a really random question. Well, not very random question. Declan gave us the number of his daughter, Kira. Yeah. And she works down the road, doesn't she, at the goat's gruff?

Yeah, she works across the way in the pub. Yeah, what's her surname? What's her surname? Can I just check? Yes, Cummins. Cummins. Oh, still Cummins. Okay, perfect. Okay, great. Actually, no, sorry, no, hold on. It's, if you're under Kennedy, sorry, yeah, she's married now, yeah.

Apologies. Okay, cool. Perfect. Perfect. Thank you so much. I appreciate it. All right. Cheers. Bye. Oh, my God, Karen. This is not good.

This is not good. This is not good for a Christmas special about happiness and, Cheer. She set the GoFummi page up unless there's another Kerry Kennedy out there. Yeah, yeah, okay. Let's calm down. Okay, okay. Let's calm down because there's another rational explanation for this. And before we spiral, because I really, I really struggled to keep my shit together on that call. I almost collapsed on the floor.

Before we spiral. Okay, so what happened here is Kira was in charge of all of the social media. She was the link to posting about the Santa that went missing. and she would have been in contact on social media with the perpetrators when they were saying, right, we're going to go and take it back. We've got to find this out when we speak to one of the perpetrators, which we're going to do in 30 minutes time, a guy called Kieran.

I think there's a potential that it's all okay and we can continue with festive cheer. Oh my God, this has taken a turn that I didn't expect. This was meant to be a really lovely little storytelling about something lovely in Christmassy Dublin. Both of us didn't feel right about this. there was something else going on. It still might be something good that's going on.

The charity never responded to me when I asked. I was like, oh, let us know, like, what amazing things that money went towards and, you know, so we can end on a lovely note. Oh, it's an inside job. It's potentially an inside job. Do you know what? I'm happy about that because we both had that feeling in our gut,

and that means our guts are correct. But I can't believe media outlets and things have reported on this, and no one has found the link. between the pub owner's daughter and the GoFundMe page. Probably because she has a different last name to him. Kara Kennedy is the organiser and Santa Claus is the co-organiser. If you scroll down the page. Shall I just call Kara now and just see,

just see if she's up for a call with us and just sense what her vibe is? I'm a bit nervous. Yes, I'm sorry. No, she's not picking up. It's time to speak to the only perpetrator who has agreed to talk to us. Three of them have completely ignored me, but one did respond and we're about to speak to him. This perpetrator's name is Kieran, which is a name that is suspiciously close to Kira. Then I think we just give him the open question, which is how did that Saturday start for you?

But instead of how did that day start off, I think we should say, where were you on the night of blah, blah, blah. because that's how the police would ask. I actually don't think it is because I've been researching this. Here we go again. So the police go, how did your day begin? Did you have breakfast? What did you have for breakfast? Do they say that?

No. Show me the article that says in police questioning, the best thing to do is tell me how your day started. It's a warm up and it's a story prompt. Yeah, no, all good. Show me the research where that is. No, no, I'm very happy to do it. Just share screen now.

just show me the... Why don't you send your link of your amazingly researched strategy? How about every movie that's ever been made? We don't have time for this. We don't have time for this. You go from the open-ended question, then it's like at what point did the idea of Knicking the Santa come up and who suggested it?

Was it dare or was just something that happened? A deer? They're not 12. I don't feel like you're taking me seriously enough right now. I actually really appreciate you doing all of this, honestly. I think that's a really good question. Who is Kira Kennedy? Should we wear our Christmas hats so we look less intimidating? Yeah, I'm wearing my cape.

I'm also wearing red. And I'm going to put my tinsel up again behind me. Which was actually on a work call earlier and wasn't cool. Kira just responded on WhatsApp. What'd she say? Hi, Karen. Sure, we can do that. I'm pretty busy over the weekend, but could do Monday.

Sorry for the delay in getting back to you. This case is really hotting up. Okay, he's here. Should I let him in? This is the moment we first lay eyes on our prime suspect. I find myself immediately assessing his cheekbones thanks to the lead from Keith. Looks like they've got very similar facial features.

Their cheekbones are the same. Karen is tall, athletic, late 20s, very jolly looking and he's got this twinkle in his eye that could either signify charm or danger. So we're going to go straight in. The child-sized Santa from the Strawberry Hall pub went missing on Saturday the 14th of December. How did that Saturday night start out for you?

So we're at the Gaelic football team based in Dublin. So we had our end-the-season Christmas party booked in for that day and it was a mystery tour. That it all, we're just going on the points, basically, and bouncing around. It was how it all sort of started to unfault. We were playing games and different bits of bobs and had a bit of crack. Whoever lost in the overall game and the bet had to swipe something from the pub with decoration. And so it turned out next thing, we were all on the bus again.

90 seconds to get something and rode under the boss with a Santa. And half we went. So that's the main perpetrator, the one we're not naming. We can just call him the perpetrator. The swiper. Yeah. So the swiper lost some sort of game. So he actually did, so it was a dare.

He did get dared. Yeah, a bit of a dare, but it was just like, take any decoration. So sorry, when he said there was a time he had like 90 seconds to go and get something, what do you mean by that? We all went back out under the bus and we were like, your fourth it is you have to go back again and take something within 90 seconds

so we couldn't know what it was. Three 90 seconds go take it and take whatever you get. Did you see him run out of the pub with the Santa under his arm? A bit more of a casual walkout with a with a Santa, yeah, under the arm and onto the bus.

It was pitch black obviously outside. It was on a country road like this pub and we were parked a little bit down so we came down and next thing came on and saw it like a troll. Sophie nearly celebrating. We just erupted them. We're like, right, let's go into town.

I love that your getaway vehicle was a whole bus full of lads. Yeah. It's not the most subtle departure, is it? Got us away, though. Who from your crew? Do you want to give him a name or the person that said, go in and nick something and come back? Yeah, we could, oh jeez, we'll call him Dave for the sake of it.

Dave is the mastermind. Interesting. We have another mastermind in a different crime called Dave. Yeah, well, his name's not Dave, we've got them Dave for this. Yeah, that's okay. Neither is the other mastermind, so that's fine. So I know how pubs go. I get that things get stolen, fun, drunken antics,

bit of a crack, as you would say. So it was funny for most of the night, I would assume. When did it stop being funny? No, never. Didn't stop being funny at all. I don't want better than I'd ever stop being funny. So was there not a moment? because the original post that came out from the pub,

they sounded quite upset. They were like someone's stolen this decoration or Santa, we need him back. There was a bit of an edge in that message. Like, how did you feel at that moment? Yeah, there definitely was an edge in it because the perpetrator definitely have a bit of a profile on a national level. I don't know if it would have been national at this stage, but he definitely would be known.

A famous swiper? I wouldn't call him famous now. I wouldn't let his head get that big. Yeah, he definitely would be known within the county anyway. So there was a bit of a stage where we were like, oh yeah, this isn't great. We then lost the Santa, so we could try and find the Santa. They don't know that now, but we lost the Santa on the Saturday night,

and we found it by chance in a different pub on a Sunday. Can we just marvel on what an amazing coincidence it was that you found that back? After a massive bender going around multiple pubs in Dublin, you managed to track down the one where you drunkenly forgot the Santa and you found again. We just rocked down there and was like, oh, is that our Santa sitting here? We're like, oh, we've got to take that with us.

At what point did you decide to set up the Instagram account and who did that? So we robbed it on Saturday and the message we went on the Monday and myself, James and David used to work doing like nightclub promotions and stuff. So we were in work on the Monday evening and we were like, you know, well, we'll go and we'll drop it back before we go out to work and we'll hand it in and we'll just say we were part of the group we didn't know what happened

and act dumb and innocent and hopefully they won't be too annoyed. That's all it kicked in on the Monday. We pulled up to the pub and then we were sitting in there with the Santa and we're like, oh, who's going to go in? None of us want to really go in and then I just turned around

and I was like, oh lad, you know what? Nah, fuck this we'll keep it for another 24 hours. Off we go. We might just set up an Instagram here and start ripping the piss out of them a little bit. Literally for the crack we didn't. intend on how it turned out. It was more than like two fingers up to them

with a certain way, but a bit of crack. Who set up the Instagram account out of you for? James would have set it up, but the three of us all had to log in, so myself, James and David. I think the funniest thing about your story is that four grown GAA pretty like sporty lands were outside the pub feeling just a bit too scared for one of you to go in and hand the Santa back.

That cracks me up more than anything. We were only 19-20, it's out of the time. We were only young chapsed. But yeah, no, we were too afraid to go with, to be honest. It was like, I don't want to be the one going in and getting the flack here. Kieran, at what point did the ransom idea come about? It was all on the radio. It was like popping up on different, like, news outlets and stuff,

getting loads of traction. And then someone was like, hey, this is actually quite big. You could turn this into something. and we were like, could be? And then it was like, yeah, you could turn it into a charity thing and then that's then

when we reached out to the pub. I think we got a message off the pub originally being like a serious enough message about like potentially bringing police and stuff into it. We were like, you'll get the Santa back,

don't worry, we're just rowling with this a little bit and then we came up with the idea of the sort of charity thing and we put it through them being like, hey, look, this is what we're thinking of the day on and raising funds

and then they were like, yeah, that's actually a great idea. Let's go for it. Do you know who you were speaking to directly? Because you definitely weren't speaking to Declan because he doesn't... No, I think it was his daughter. Nearly sure it was his daughter. What's her name?

Oh, she's not going to. Could be Keira. Potentially. It definitely was a daughter or a... It was a younger relation with the family. So she was the one that was a bit stern at first going, like, actually I'm quite upset about it. No, I think it was Declan that was quite stern. Declan was apparently filming about it.

They were absolutely raging. I don't believe that for it. God, he played that. He was such a tricky customer when we spoke to him the other day. He was just cackling the whole time. He was definitely, he was the one that was filming. He gave himself and his wife were feeling at the start. Like when we originally took it in that original post, they were definitely filming.

I actually think it was the daughter, whoever we were dealing with, sort of talked him around being like, you're going to get this back. Like, it's the lads actually seemed selling it off like they're not. But I heard that's in trouble and sort of went from there. So let's just pivot to the charity. So you had some messages with the pub and then they got a bit heavy. Then you're like, well, okay, let's turn this around. We could do something for charity here.

Who suggested the 5,000 euro target and how did you decide the charity? I think we suggested the target. Did we suggest, no, I actually think we only started off at a thousand or two thousand. And then it flew. We sort of had an idea. I think we'd say the children's charity because it was around Christmas and it does be, like for some kids it does be quite tough

and then they said that because it was somewhere local enough to them. It was definitely both were happy enough to agree on the charity there was conversation over what charity would go to. The perpetrators and the pub both signed off on the charity. There is now a chance that this is not an inside job although a tiny bit of suspicion is still lingering. And who set up the go-fund me, Paige?

We did it. We set up to go fund me. I'm nearly sure. Oh, fuck, no. Maybe care did it. Oh, actually no, clip. I was nearly sure it was us, but now we both have access to it. I think one of our family members had access to it and Kira. Kira's fingerprints were all over the GoFammy page.

But the darkness that we had feared, which was her scheming alongside the perpetrators, was not true. She wasn't colluding. She was simply running the administrative side of things. the silent backbone of the operation. Did any of you, any of the group, know Declan prior to this incident? No.

And none of you had any connection with his daughter, carer, before this either. No, didn't know anyone to do it. Like, wouldn't know any of them. Our panic, our spiraling was for nothing. This was not an inside job, although I kind of still wish it was. You know, when you have like presents to a touch

charity, you get those like oversized checks. Was it like one of those? I think there was one that was oversized checks, but I'm nearly sure it was Kira and the Straby Hall that went down and gave it. I definitely wasn't there when it was handed over. We've got a photo, a quite funny photo of when you snuck back on Christmas Eve with the Santa. Could you talk us through that moment of when you shuffled back and how that was to give it back? We knew we went to be in trouble when we went out with it, so we just sort of like opened the door and we were like rocked in and the pub was busy Christmas Eve, like sort of a bit of a culture here that people go out for points of Christmas Eve. They came in and the place was jammers. It was packed. And these people said to be five fellas together.

And they said, I've awarded you for a moment. I said, what's it looked like a playground? And he goes, I want to talk to you for a minute. This is yours. I said, that's funny. Where had you got that? Well, we made over 10 grand for charity by abducting your Santa. and we're bringing it back now. I said, well, that's a drink for these lads. Describe their vibe, these guys. Everybody was in good form. I was in great form.

They were in great form. And the Santa was back without having to ask for it. What were these guys like? Did they look like thieves? What does the thief look like? I held Santa to ransom and I forgot the chance. Would I do it again?

Apsa fucking lily. And like the whole Pope was like, oh, whatever. like, how's he called? And then they came out and they had like a corner reserve for us and we gave it back

to Santa and they put it back in a rifle place and we sat a few points. Is there any chance we could screen share that photo? Who are those people?

So that's me in the back right. That's James with the Christmas jumper on and then that's Deccl and the Santa. Before speaking to you

and hearing how genuine you are and understanding this story, we thought it was a little bit suspicious the way Declan is caressing your shoulder in that photo.

And we also noticed that you have very similar cheekbones and we basically came to the conclusion that you and Declan are related and that this is an inside job. You're so far out there. It's unbelievable. And we spoke to this

and Guy Keith and he was the one who was like oh, they've got very high cheekbones the two of them. Their chins are almost identical. They are 100% related and we got completely swept up that moment and we yeah we really felt like it was an inside job. Keith's into spiraling.

Keith made a spiral. It definitely wasn't an inside job. Karen, if you could go back in time, would you have done anything differently? Oh, would I've done anything differently. Yeah, he probably would have went a bit more extreme with our post, I'd say. I wouldn't have changed any of the, like, charity side of it or any of that. You regret giving money to charity. going back to your 20-year-old self

and you could take Santa anywhere to take the best post ever where would you take it right now yeah probably a few more landmarks are still flickers and we definitely get the pub scene of it you weren't satisfied with IKEA and the strip club

IKEA and the strip club no and the strip IKEA and the strip club what's a strip club that we got you went to a strip club it had pink lights and it said What didn't say on it? Playtime?

That's a night club. That's Crystal. Oh, we've told everyone it's a strip club. And by everyone I mean Keith and Declan. And is there anything you want to say to Declan? Is there a message now we're a few years on from this?

Is there anything you want to say to him? No, not really. Did he have a message for us? Yeah, he said, Hey, motherfucker, you robbed my fucking Santa. I'm coming out to you, to kill you, motherfucker.

We made him say it, but he did say it. We were trying to razze him up a bit because he just was like, oh, yeah, it was all great. Yeah, gave them a beer and, you know, good lads, good bunch lads. And we were like, oh, surely you hated them at one point. Well, he definitely did hate us at one point. That's a guarantee.

So if you were wearing a red and white velvet suit and you had a long white beard and you were Santa Claus, and you've got four stockings in front of you and these stockings are going for each of these four perpetrators, and you get to either fill them with presents for doing a charitable thing and raising money for charity or just a lump of coal for being bad, bad boys. Bad, naughty boys.

I'd go in between and give them six cans of the black stuff, cans of Guinness, because they don't deserve nothing. So something that's the colour of coal and not a massive present. So it's a bit in between. I like that. And also cans of Guinness just significantly worse than Guinness. on tap. You have to choose Lauren on me to get the lump of coal.

You've got to choose. Yeah. Lauren, it's you. Karen gets a present. I had more contact with Karen. But I think Cole's more valuable than the small present because what we didn't tell you is that small present is just air. No, it's not. She's just getting upset. To be fair, having more contact with me

isn't necessarily something that would bond us together because I can be quite pushy. And in fact, block her number the second we finish this call. Block her email. Block everything about her. Declan, if you were Santa and you were going to put either a lump of coal or a present in the stocking of the perpetrators who took your Santa away from you, what would you put in there, a lump of coal or a lovely present? Do you think they were naughty or nice? Nice. So a present?

Yeah. What about if you were Santa and Karen and I were sitting on your lap and you were determining whether we were naughty or nice? Let's start with me. What's in my stocking? A present. What about Lauren? A present. I really thought you were going to give her a lump of coal.

I really felt that's where this was going. I felt a lump of coal was coming into my stocking. I really did. That's why I have two knees. Two knees? One for each of us. One for each of you. Three emotions that you felt when those four lads came back to the pub to give you your Santa back.

Three emotions. Friendship, decency and nice people. In money. Explain what lessons you learnt from this story. If people are nice to you, you're nice to them. And that's the way I run my life. And I have great fun with all those people. What lessons do you personally take from this story?

Don't get caught. But Santa's always watching, Keith. Yeah. So even though the pub owner might not catch you, Santa will see what you're doing. doing and you won't get a little present this year. Yeah. So watch you back.

Have a bit of crack around Chris. It's a good time to be around pals and stuff, but there is a bigger picture. And if you get an opportunity to give back or do something good, go for it. Absolutely go for, have your phone with it and do whatever. All about having good spirits and giving. So without fully realising that was the message that we were doing at the time, we were sort of doing it for the crack. But we probably bought into a Chris's spirit that was just there and hit us to.

And so our Christmas special comes to a close, a case that opened with a kidnapped Santa and quickly escalated into what we were certain was a festive criminal conspiracy. We truly believed we'd uncovered an inside job. All based on what exactly? A suspicious shoulder squeeze? Similar cheekbones? Matching chins? I'd love to blame Keith.

But he is simply not responsible for our alarming ability to spiral at record speed. That's the danger of unqualified detective work. In the absence of skill, you start elevating meaningless details, letting bone structure outrank logic, because in the end the truth was simple, painfully wholesome. A fleeting, Guinness-soaked impulse from a group of good-natured lads caused a city to rally. A beloved Santa was taken, but he was returned home.

And a local charity received an unexpected Christmas miracle. So yes, mistakes were made. False accusations were definitely made. But they led us into a thrilling ride surrounded by a bunch of Irish legends and gave us all proof that even a terrible decision can snowball into something good. The moral of this story could be, if you wake up and discover you accidentally stole something the night before, at least use it to do some good. But that feels dangerously close to endorsing crime and we probably shouldn't put that on record. So from our unqualified detective agency, Merry Christmas. We hope that your festive season is filled with generosity,

Guinness and far fewer wrongful allegations than ours. Happy Christmas, I'm the listeners. Have it going on.