Who Shat On The Floor At My Wedding? And Other Crimes - S3 E21 Boob Bandit - Part Two

Episode Date: March 26, 2026

Amber reveals who she caught chewing outside the shelter in the dead of night. Steven and Waz are brought in for questioning. One thing is clear. All evidence and suspicion leads to one suspect. Dave. He's stayed silent for as long as he could. But nobody can stay silent forever... Part Three - the grand finale - is out now.Support us on Patreon http://patreon.com/whoshatontheflooratmyweddingFollow us on Instagram @whoshatontheflooratmywedding for case evidence and behind-the-scenesSound design by @avaud.io Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Previously on Boob Bandit. I had killed what's called a horn screamer. I put them in the pot. These birds, I was super excited about because my partners were, like, withering away out there because they didn't have enough food. It's the morning time.

We're all stoked. We're bringing the pot out. I remember Matt pulling it up. Complete cartilage showing from the center and, like, no meat. That should be more meat than this, right? Where is the breast meat? There's no meat here.

There's six of us. and one of us ate the breast meat in the night. This is like where loyalty and friendship and family, this is where it is. And that's like a family. Like you don't take food. That's like stealing. It is a matter of ethics. The mystery was never solved.

Who ate the tits? The Amazonian tits. Who ate the Amazonian tits? What cup size would a kumongo be compared to that? Like a turkey with a breast of a chicken. So size B. So maybe some... size B, approximately.

Probably. That's not a part of my expertise. But yeah. And then there was Dave. He got little hands. They're kind of feminine. I did see those hands going over there from time to time. When he grabbed it,

saw more of the hand, and I kind of caught just a half a glimpse of just a portion of the face. It's hard to make out. I could have swore it was Dave. You saw feminine hands, so you think it could have been Dave because he has feminine. hands, but does that mean it could also have been Amber, who may also have feminine hands?

You know what? You make a good point there now that I kind of start recollecting. Amber, Dave would be my first suspect, but now Amber's kind of got her hand in the cookie jar too. We need to inspect everyone's hands. Can I just say your hands? Can you just show me your hands? Would you describe your hands as feminine hands? I don't know. They're kind of rough, but yeah. Welcome to Boo Bandit Part 2 At the end of part one, during our interrogation with Amber, she was about to reveal something shocking.

Let's go back to that moment. There was a particular night that I was walking towards the shelter and it was very dark and I walk up and there is a certain person who is standing outside and just chomping away with their mouth closed and kind of trying to hide it and put him back towards me I was like, oh my gosh, hey, what are you doing out so late? And that person was like, didn't really talk right away. And I didn't know what he was doing.

He just looked weird. All I could see was the fire, like, glow on his back. And then he finally turned around. He goes, oh, I was just out here making sure the fire was good. And I was like, oh, okay. And then I didn't really pay any mind to it. So, like, walk inside. And then the pot lid was off.

Yeah, that was quite interesting. And so I just put the pot back on. What time, roughly in the night? probably two or three a.m. I made a comment to my partner, Stephen, when I went back to our shelter because he kind of woke up. And he was like, are you okay? And we would always check on each other. And I was like, I just saw something super weird.

And it was recorded on the shelter recording what I saw. And then you could see the person go out of the shelter with the other camera and what they were doing. It's 100% recorded the whole entire time. And he's like, we can't talk about this. we can't talk about this. Could you tell us who that person was? Stephen. Tell me we couldn't talk about it.

No, I mean the person outside that you thought was about. I was like, whoa, what a twist. No, no, no. Stephen would never do that. He is the most honest, big-hearted, one of the best survivalists I've ever met. So no. That person was Dave.

Then all of a sudden I'd seen a little hand. It may have shown Dave washing his hands and his face at one point in the night. The hands are kind of feminine. When he grabbed it, saw more of the hand, and I kind of caught just a portion of the face. It's hard to make out. I could have swore it was Dave. And then I could hear it. Okay, you saw Dave chomping on something.

He had his back to you, and he was chewing aggressively, probably quickly trying to finish his mouth full, because he could hear you coming. and then he turned around and he was hiding it from you. So he might have had a big mouthful of food, probably breast. His mouth was filled with boob and you caught him in the act. Yep. Was it 100% Dave? A thousand percent it was Dave.

Did you sleep there for the rest of that night after you put the pot lid back on? No. He came back in and he kind of went to his bed quickly. And then I was like, hey, why is the potlet off? And he was like, oh, I was just putting more water in it. And I was like, mm. And did it look full at that point, the level of the water? Yes.

It was so bad. Did you see Dave washing or anyone else washing their face that night? No. But I will say he didn't have a bag on either when he was outside, when I just saw his backside. And I was like, oh, hey, man. And he was super shocked to see me like. And I was like, okay.

I don't know. I thought he was touching himself. Oh, you thought he was masturbating. Another crime that we don't want to investigate. Yeah, sexual crime. There's a couple stories I could tell you about when I've seen some stuff. Yeah, I bet you've seen a lot. I thought he was touching himself.

I was like, oh, this is weird. And I was like, don't stay for too long. But then he was chewing at the same time. And you were wondering, why is he masturbating whilst eating? That's weird. Well, at first when I walked up, I thought he was doing that. And I was like, oh, I'm sorry. You know, I went like this.

I'm sorry. I was like, hey, how's it going? You know? And then he couldn't talk. And that's when he like shoved himself around quickly. And I was like, oh, that's weird. I was like, whatever. So like walk inside.

And then the pot lid was off. He ate the whole thing because the next morning, when we woke up, me and Stephen went over. We were going to have our breakfast with everybody. And we're sitting around. And then Matt goes, Amber, won't you grab a piece of that breast meat? Because he saw that I was really kind of struggling a little bit. So I grabbed the bird and I'm like, complete cartilage showing from the center and like no meat.

And then E.J. looks at me and I look at Matt and then I'm like, there's no breast meat. He goes, maybe it fell to the bottom. And so I got our silverware that we were using. We made out of wood. And I went to there. I was like, there is nothing in here. Everybody looked around, like shocked, except for one person. Were both breasts missing or just one? Yeah. Both breasts. Yes, the whole chest plate was gone. That's why we were so mad. There was like no meat. Wow. There are some inconsistencies with the amount of breast that was taken, which is our problem, not yours. There was one witness statement. There was one breast left on the bird. So only one was stolen in the night. And then the final breast that was left on the bird was actually offered to Dave the next day during the day because he was the one who needed it most. There's true to that, yes. But no, because the breast was like missing. And there might have been some little bit on the side. And did Dave receive that?

They offered it to him. And I was so frustrated. And I'm like, oh, my God. Steven's over here dying, fishing every day. I was like, come on, guys. Like, we're still trying to push through. Did anyone ask you if you saw anything in the night? Stephen.

I looked this way immediately when I saw all the meat was gone. And I looked at Stephen because I was like, I told you somebody was out here eating this. I looked at him and Stephen was like, and then we both looked at date. And Dave looked full and satisfied and relaxed because he just had a delicious breast. Such a slap that he got the last bits of the breast as well. And then there was other moments that I caught him acquiring more food than he should have when we were sharing. And it was very difficult out there because we were at the very end of this challenge and experience. And so everything is shared.

No matter where I've come from in any challenge, I always share my food. I'm never selfish. I want to make sure everybody's taking care of because that's just naturally who I am. I was like, I'm literally watching this person take from us. And that's like a family. Like, you don't take food. That's like stealing. Wow.

And that's why none of that made the edit. Nothing. It was a lot. Even my producer, because our teams have our own individual producers, which she was trying to keep me calm. And I was calm about it. I was like, hey, you guys do so much with this show. I was like, this is actually a problem.

And we need to either talk to this person to stop. or it's going to be shown. And they're like, we will definitely not show this. I said on the camera, you can see him take it and walk out. And she goes, yeah, we saw it. Have you told anyone else about this or just David? Just you guys. I haven't even talked about this ever,

because production didn't want us to portray that person in a different light. Here's where I have good faith and grace for this person. He was really falling apart physically. And he needed food. I think I lost 35 pounds filming and at the very end it was 108 pounds and I was still out there every day, every day, every day fishing to provide for my team

and he was really going downhill quickly where his face was sinking in and I was like oh my gosh and I am like you know what just don't say anything if nobody's going to say anything just let's get more fish let's try to provide more so we don't have to do this. Amber but there are witness reports claiming that you also looked like you probably

probably could do with a good old additional breast as well. Like, you were also quite skinny. I'm one of those that just like I'm very well driven. I'm like, I retired military. So I'm just like, go, go, go, go until I can't. And even Stephen was starting to demonstrate how skinny he was. And he never took extra food. Like when Stephen and I would go fishing and we caught six fish,

we would give four fish to them, the team, and we would take too far ourselves. Because that was the right thing to do. Has Amber just cracked the case for us? I think Ambers just cracked the case. of course the woman would practically. Yeah, that's the classic. I'm really annoyed, Amber, because I had all these really good, bad cop questions because I really wanted to turn on you in this interrogation

and basically make you out to be the lead suspect. But I just feel like they're all irrelevant now. Yeah, because it's... Because she's not the suspect. But what we are asking of everyone, we've got an amazing lie detector machine. Would you, Amber, be willing to be hooked up to a lie detector machine to answer some questions to prove that you are telling us the truth right now.

Yeah. Okay, good to know, thank you. And I do just need to quickly triple check. Amber, did you steal between one and two breasts of a horned screamer from a boiling pot? No, I did not. Amber, just very quickly, if the horned screamer was wearing a bra, what size bra do you think it would be wearing? A bee.

A B. I feel confident that Amber is not our suspect for this, mainly because she told us who is the suspect. It was Dave. Karen, she caught him chewing. No. The time frame works as well. Say if we've got Amber, Stephen and kind of E.J. All having witness statements saying they've seen something really incriminating. Does that mean that we can close this case?

Because that's all we've got here, witness statements. Is that how cases are actually solved in the police? If you've got three witnesses that all tie in with having seen something. I think you need a confession. Or not always a confession, but really strong evidence. Right now it's all hearsay. Now it's two days it's past. We're going to have to get an extension for our speed solving.

So we're going to need an extension for this one to deal with Dave because it's a tricky final confrontation. Speed solving extension granted. Everyone else has responded apart from Dave. And Dave has a current alibi because we know he's away film. We have to hope that Dave responds. When he comes back from filming the show, we've got a massive interrogation coming up for him.

We need to do this properly again. Do you think he's going to speak with us? The problem is if he just says no, like it's kind of an admission of guilt, isn't it? If he says no, we can say he's guilty, and if he says yes, we can probably also say he's guilty. This is a funny podcast for us, but it's actually quite a big deal for him.

But he might grow from this and never steal again. But yeah, I see what you're saying. It's a big deal. Stephen Lee Hall Jr. Primitive survival rating 9.1. Number of survival challenges eight. Number of tapouts, zero. Personality traits, hardworking and a team player.

Special skill, bushcraft and fishing. As one of the survivalists that spent two months in the Peruvian Amazon jungle, slowly dying, starving to death. Nothing but skin and bones, pulling my own teeth out. about three quarters the way through the challenge, I finally got to merge with my brothers

from another mother with Matt and Waws, Dave, and as somebody who's been eating like piranhas and lizards and snakes for the past like 40 days, I'm pretty stoked

about having the opportunity to eat something that doesn't have scales on it. So Matt's like, you know, he's amping it up, these birds are delicious, it tastes like turkey and prime rib mixed together,

so I'm like salivating. He goes out, he gets warm. I saw them open the lid. It was crammed full. And, you know, as anything does when it's in a crock potter boils down, it's going to go down a little bit. But I didn't expect to see freaking basic skeleton in the pot. Like, nothing boils away that quick. Boobes don't tend to evaporate.

Matt's, like, looking at me, Matt's kind of, like, confused. And Waz has given me like an eye. Was is giving me like a bro eye conversation like, I need to tell you something, something went down. And nobody's saying anything. And Dave is just kind of just silent. How many breasts do you think the bird was missing in the morning? It looked breastless.

It was blatantly apparent. There was some midnight funny business going on. Meat just doesn't disappear. And you were sharing your, shelter with Amber? Amber. And was Amber in your shelter all night? Do you remember? To the best of my recollection. Like I don't see her wandering off. When you were exchanging glances with was and whoever else, do you remember exchanging

glances with Amber as well? Yes, 100%. Me and Amber even had a conversation about it later that day and she's like should i bring it up should we like have a sit down talk about it and by this point in time it's like listen we got like 12 days we don't need to be ruffling any feathers you know we don't need to be spurring the pot if you get that going and you start having that animosity on that last like go people's morale is already rough everybody's starving if you go out there you kind of bring up something that might be a little confrontational because of your hunger and your starvation and your pain. And you got to walk on eggshells and thin ice sometimes for everybody

or else you're going to erupt something that's going to be on television that never had to happen anyway. Especially when you're that close, when you're all together, you don't want to stir the pot. What enables you to keep your integrity when you're starving? Because everyone's innate nature of being human when you're hungry is, I want to eat more. people can't have control of their emotions. I don't care what anybody says. It's an excuse to yell and scream at somebody and then say, well, I was hungry or I was cranky. So no matter how hungry or anything, I'm never going to disrespect somebody I'm working with or my friend or I'm not going to bring it to that level.

What did Amber say to you about what she saw or what she thought had actually happened or, What information did you gather from Amber about the actual incident? I feel like I remember her bringing up that she saw something, but I don't want to say, say that because I don't recall. She saw Dave eating in the night. How did she see Dave eating in the night when she's in a different shelter? She went to that shelter. And as she was approaching it, he was standing outside.

She thought he was masturbating. so she went oh sorry what she thought he was touching himself you know when you like touch yourself no I know what masturbating is okay I'm fully aware of what masturbating you don't have to define masturbation

of me what I was taken aback from was how Amber caught him playing with himself no no she didn't she didn't she didn't she thought she did she thought because he was being quite shifty and she thought that he was touching himself and then he was startled

and then she realized he had his mouth full and he wasn't actually touching himself. Okay, okay. Can I just have a quick look at your hands? Would you describe your hands as masculine or feminine or somewhere in between? Well, I got big hands and they're covered in calluses and cuts. If you would like to assess

Stephen and Amber's hands yourself to determine if they are feminine or not, Check out the evidence on our Instagram page at Hooshat on the floor at my wedding. Stephen. Okay. Did you steal any breasts from the horned screamer that was boiling inside the stew pot that night? I, Stephen Lee Hall Jr., king of the forest, did not steal or take any breast meat that was not handed to me out of that horned scrimer pot. Cross my heart, on my mother.

I would never do that. Would you be willing to be strapped up to a professional lie detector? 100%. From what I heard, allegedly, was the one that kind of saw the finger grabbing in the middle of the night anyway. Because you said he knows something. I'm telling you. Suspect.

Was Eddie. Primitive survival rating 9.8. Number of survival challenges five. Number of tapouts. personality traits, mysterious and calm, special skill, brute strength and mental resilience. When you cook something overnight in a tiny little pot, the pot's about the same size as the bird, so you've got to jam it in there. It means there's not a lot of river for water. We actually have to top that water up two or three times throughout the night to make sure that

there's still enough water in the pot. When you're in an environment like that, you're waking up every couple of hours anyway, And I just thought to myself, you know, I'll take the first shift. I'm on a super uncomfortable bed as well because I was lazy and I didn't fix it up. And I'll take the first shift and I'll make sure that I top it up with water. And the first time that I woke up, and I was guessing obviously we didn't have clocks, I would say it would have been about 1 o'clock in the morning, maybe 2 o'clock in the morning. And I looked across trying to get my bearings when you first wake up.

There's no light inside there. And that shelter was pretty solid too. So no moonlight coming in at all. A little bit of light from the fire. I'm just trying to get my night vision in, trying to work out what some shapes are. And I know where people are meant to be in their beds and all sorts of stuff like that.

And then all of a sudden, what I can see as my vision starts to get good, I start to make out a human shape right next to where the pot is on the fire. And it's like a crouched down, human shape. And I'm trying to look and what's happening over here. I start to realize that's a person. And then my initial thought was, well, I don't have to get up and do the water because someone's already doing it.

It's being looked after. I can sort of roll over and try and go back to sleep. And that's what I did. I just rolled over and went back to sleep. But as I'm falling asleep, I'm sort of listening to what's happening. Can I eat animals? Can I eat insects? All this sort of thing.

It was taking a long time as I'm trying to fall back to sleep. It's taking a long time for this person to do whatever they're doing. and it shouldn't take that long. It's literally pop the lid off. You got undo two latches, pop the lid off, top some water up, and then pop the lid back on. That should take maybe 30 seconds, 45 seconds at the most. The noises just kept going on for a good five minutes, 10 minutes.

I was like, that's too long just to be topping water up. I can't see in the dark. I know a roll back over to look. I can't see what's happening, but there's lots of movement around that pot. And I hear the lid go back on and I see Dave move back across to where his bed is and I can hear some chewing sounds. When you've been out in the wilderness for 50 days and you've eaten a minimal amount of food, you've lost all like 60 pounds, I think, at that stage I'd lost. Food is the only thing that you're thinking about.

Chewing sounds are unmistakable. There's no way it was anything else apart from chewing sounds. Fast forward to the next morning We all wake up We're super excited about getting our Turkey breakfast The Horn Screamer breakfast And we're all excited

And we're going to get some food in our bellies And it drinks some of that broth And a little bit of fat that comes up From under the skin Flavor explosion in your mouth We're sort of digging through And each taking little bits And each taking little bits

And we got the breast It's obviously the biggest piece of meat Tore that off And separated it it out and then flip the bird, like just turn the bird still inside the pot a little bit. We use the sticks. It's still hot. And as we turned it, like, this is where the other breast should be and it's not there.

There's still a little bit of meat where that second breast should have been, but there wasn't a whole breast there at all. In the back of my head, I'm like, what's happening here? Did it fall off? Is it in the bottom of the pot somewhere? We're digging around and that's noticeable. There is some missing protein from this pot. I don't know the timeline from there as to when we started having conversations about where

that second Bresco. But as soon as we started having conversations about it with each other, while Dave wasn't around, that's when it sort of came back to me that there was someone by that pot for a little bit too long. And then the chewing noises, everything fell into place. For me, I was pretty confident at that point in time that Dave's done a little midnight sneak in there just to get some extra food. Which isn't even a big deal. Just like, if you say, I am hungry, guys, I'm going to eat some, or I ate some last night. I just say it. It's all good. We understand we're all friends. We like each other. But to do it sneaky like that, that's a little bit of a no-no. So you turned over, I guess, did you face the side of the shelter? So you were backwards to the pot.

Correct. When you started thinking about it and you're like, this is taking too long, you turned back to keep it a lie on and that's when you saw Dave. Is it technically possible that in the time that you turned away from the pot and you lost the vision of this? figure that you didn't know at that point who that was because you were still like coming to and your vision was kicking in. Could someone else have been at the pot, gone back to their bed and then by the time you went back to look at what was going on there, Dave could have got up and be by the pot. I just want to understand the feasibility of that given the layout of the shelter or is it 100% that was still the same person by the pot the whole time?

It is impossible for it to have been anyone else. The way that we made our beds was we made a frame for the bed, and then we got a lot of cordage and just spiderweb to the frame so you could lay on the spider web. It's not a memory phone bed. If you even move to roll over, you'll make it a whole bunch of noise. So for anyone to have got in or out of their bed, you just know instantly. When I heard that pot close, it was only, you know, five or ten seconds later that I can hear Dave climbing back into his bed, which is making a whole bunch of noise as well.

If those kind of bed sounds are really loud, would he hear? have heard you starting to wake up, turning over. He would have been aware that you were doing there and potentially waking up. Yeah. So when I first was getting my vision to sort of see what was happening, like when I first woke up, there was no sound, there was no movement. So he probably heard me shift a little bit and sort of froze because, you know, he's caught in the middle of a crime when you think about it.

So he's sort of freezing, give me a chance to go back to sleep, and then he's doing some stuff quietly, you know. Did you ever confront him about it? No. Just because you've got to understand our mindset's when we're out there. You're 50 days deep. It's not that big of a deal. It's more funny than anything else.

Like we joked about it a couple of times. Like it turned into what was referred to as screamer gate because it's a horn screamer. So we called it screamer gate. It's not something we're going to get angry and confront people about or ask. It was just funny that. And it turned into a thing. Like it got talked about not only then, but it got talked about like a year later on the other side of the world in Africa.

We were talking about the same thing. Was it a joke for Dave? He found out about us talking about it well after the fact. I think it was in Africa when the crew started asking us about it. I think that's when we ended up saying to him, do you ever know this Screamergate exists? He's like, what's Screameragate? And we told him and he's like probably a little bit horrified at first, but then starts to realize that, you know, it's just a, it's a fun joke that we're all talking about. Did you hear any words in the night around the time that someone was in the pot?

Did anyone say anything? Not that I could remember. And then I got up and said, hey, get this fire going. And I looked over and the only other one was awake was Dave. And what Dave said to me was, oh, you startled me. Oh, I'm sorry. Dave, didn't mean Australia? So you didn't hear someone say you startled me?

It's not something I remember. I'm not going to say that I didn't hear it. It's not something that's stuck in my mind, you know, we're going back four years now. When you did reveal to Dave that Screamergate was a thing, and you said he initially looked quite shocked, did he say anything? He was apologetic that that's how he came across.

This is bad. I don't want to hurt his feelings. So I'll say this. From that time onwards, because Stephen and Matt and I were joking about it all the time, we started watching him. So when we're in Africa, like a year later or two years later, any time we had like a big bit of meat,

say we've got the Impala and we're cooking it and we'll pass it around and everyone would have two bites and pass it, two bites and pass it. Matt and Stephen and I were secretly watching him. Everyone's talking and not watching each other, but we're watching him. He would rip bits of meat off and drop it down next to him and then have his two bites and pass it on. When we started talking about Screamagate, then we said, you know, there's other times we've

sort of seen you as well. And that I think he had his feelings hurt that we thought that he was like stealing the common food, which is like a massive no-no in that situation. and everything should be a little bit more fair than that. Now, in his defense, he needed the food more than anyone else, or probably Stephen, but he's down to nothing. He was probably 4% body fat or something like that, maybe 5% body fat. He needs the food more than anyone else, so I kind of get it.

Probably should just own it, though, and say, hey, I'm going to eat a little bit more because I need it rather than stealing it, skimming off the top, you know? And I feel like that's the only thing I find a bit surprising about this it's because you're just so tight all of you guys. Like it's an extra level of trust and friendship. And I think everyone just seems really kind and fair. I don't understand why, given the depths of friendship and teamwork,

that he wouldn't feel comfortable to just say, because it's not in the great scheme of things, it's really not a big deal. I mean, everyone can hear when there's a little bit of like the jibing. It's good intention jibing. He must have known he's a suspect. He'd be like, do you know what, guys? He could have gone in like a good human.

you got me. I'm really sorry. I did get a little sticky fingers. Everyone would have been cool with it. And I think he must know that, right? That's a conversation that Matt and Stephen and I all had in the days following that when we first discovered that breast was missing, we made it so obvious that we know there's some meat missing. And that's the point in time where we were just shocked that he wasn't just like, yeah, like I ate some of them alive. Because it wouldn't it wouldn't turn into a thing. And now look what it is. We're four years later. talking about it on podcasts. Correct.

I mean, it's good for us. He didn't say anything, to be honest, because now we are here four years later doing this podcast. How did you actually know it was Dave? Because it was very dark in there. Are you 100% sure it was Dave? Yeah, so I'm 100% sure I was Dave. For a number of reasons, I've been in since day 10.

So we're talking 40 days. That's over a month. I saw him every single day. You understand people's mannerisms, people's body shapes. He's squatting right next to the pot that's right next to a fire that's sort of, the fire doesn't have big flames, it's just smoldering. Once that night vision comes back in, I can see the smoldering fires lighting up a little bit of his body and just how he squats is different to how everyone else squats. He's extremely flexible.

He squats, his butts like right near the ground and there's no way it could have been anyone else just based off the way his leg was lit up by the fire. There has been a witness statement claiming that they saw feminine hands go into the pot and take out some meat. And the only two people with feminine hands in your group is Amber and Dave. So does Amber, is she also able to do good yoga poses? She might also be flexible. Is there any way it could have been Amber? I can't count out the fact that maybe when I went back to sleep for 45 minutes, Amber could have absolutely gone in and taken some meat out of the pot.

That's an absolute possibility. But I was a detective senior constable for the New South Wales Police, so I've done. I've done protract- Oh, no. Oh, no, this is embarrassing. Oh, this is so embarrassing. Now you tell us that. We're like pretending to be detectives. So I was in law enforcement in Australia, and I did three years for the New South Wales Police Force State Crime Command.

the gangs and organized crime squad. What I learned from doing all that is when you have an amount of evidence that points you in the simplest direction, then yeah, it's possible that Amber got up while I was sleeping and got some meat out. But now, how to all the other clues fit in? Now, seeing him squat next to the fire, hearing him get back into bed and hearing chewing 30 seconds later, like if it walks like a duck and at quacks, it's a dark, red. Yeah. We're trying to be good detectives, which I don't think we are being, no, especially not compared to you, but we're trying. And I don't know if you even include this in the end of it,

but dude's a recidivist defender. Yeah, yeah. Impala Gate, various other gates. Yeah. I will say was that, now I feel the need to impress you because you've been a detective,

there has been a witness report claiming that Dave was actually spotted outside the main shelter area, also chewing. Oh. But I feel like your witness report doesn't kind of see him move from his squatting area outside to the tent because you would have probably realized if you were hearing everything, you probably would have heard him get up and move.

But there is another witness statement that places him just outside the tent. That could have happened before I woke up the first time. When you think about it, a whole breast from this bird, it's going to take you a little bit of time to eat. Now, I don't know if he tore the whole breast off and then, like, took bites of it, or if he sat there for 10 minutes ripping bits off and chewing on them, ripping bits off and chewing on it. And then I woke up towards the end of that process and he just maybe tore another couple of bits off and got back in a bed. Yeah, especially if you were not awake for the you've startled me comment,

and then you weren't awake for potentially him washing his face in the puddle, and you weren't also awake for him being spotted. outside. Was, if you are a detective or you were a detective, what do you think we should do to crack this case? I think we've got to just put the screws on Dave, right? Got to put him in a box and just get his account of what he thinks happen. And then once he's fully committed to his timeline, we start bringing in the actual facts

and other witness statements and let him know that his timeline couldn't possibly exist. He's going to commit to a storyline and you're going to be able to disprove aspects of that. That's exactly. Do you know what? We're frantically writing notes. This is turned into, this is just turned into a class for us. If Lauren and I were dropped naked with a pot and a fire starter in the middle of the Peruvian Amazon, how many days would you think we could make it? Oh, I don't really have a lot of information to base that off.

I'll give you a few facts. I'll give you a few key facts. Lauren has never gone longer than two hours without snacking. I've got a PA degree. I used to be ex-military. I've done a first aid course. I'm pretty sporty, but I get bad backs. I'm good at barbecues.

I'm really good at archery, really bad at fishing. Really good at fishing. Can't start a fire. Absolutely can't start a fire. Can start a fire, but probably not with those weird sticks, with matches. So it's hard because I'm doing all this accounting in my head. So survival is all mindset, right? It's just mindset.

The more positive you are and you guys are pretty positive, right? Like you can joke around about stuff The more positive You can look at things And more you can joke around about things The better your mindset's going to be What like what do you think though Like three days

Bearing we're not good with bugs Bear of mind I hate mosquitoes What's the option you're tapping And then Tapping Tapping and go to Burger King Yeah if you have the option to tap And you know that the hot food's coming

Then you don't like bugs Then maybe the second day You'll tap Second day We'll survive one night And then while I just forgot to ask you earlier. Did you steal breasts from the horned screamer

that was boiling in the pot overnight? I 100% can confirm I did not steal any breast meat or any meat at all on that show. Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you and sorry. Thank you and sorry. It's all good.

We have to say sorry because of everything we do. Wow. Was what a man. I can't believe we just tried to be detectives in front of an actual detective without us knowing that he was a detective and just embarrassing ourselves. And he waited so long to drop that in. Two-thirds of the way through the interrogation. I like him though. I think he's pretty trustworthy. I didn't get any weird, mysterious vibes like the others told us. No. No, I trust him. I don't know if it's

what. What? Actually, sorry. No, no, no, no, no. Can we? No, what? Dave's just responded. Dave's responded. What did he say? He's agreed to talk to us tomorrow. So the interrogation, it's on. Oh no. Oh no, the worst thing is he's actually been really nice and really cooperative. What do you mean?

He's like, this made my day, this is hilarious. I'm looking forward to it. Da-da-da. Looking forward to it. Looking forward to being interrogated for a crime you committed. This is hilarious. Sure, I'll do an interview. and then his availability for tomorrow.

But I guess that's good. He's not avoiding us. He didn't see the first request when I reached out. He's acting like he's completely innocent. He has no idea what is about to go down. He has no idea we've got planned for tomorrow. But he must know because he ate the boob. Yeah, but you know, when people rewrite the memory of an incident

when they've told themselves time and time again over many years, I feel like this might be one of those instances because he's rewriting history. He's rewriting his own history. Well, we're going to unwrite that history. Tomorrow. Oh, I don't feel good. Up next on part three. Let's be confident.

We're brave. We're strong. We're going to get this confession. These are the highest stakes we've dealt with. Not to frighten, but this is quite intense. Predemption doesn't mean anything if you do it again. We are speaking to you today, Dave, about what we're calling the case of the boob bandit. What if I was to tell you that there is a witness statement that places you outside of the shelter during the night in question, looking a little bit shifty and chewing?

Is there anything that you would like to get off your chest about the breasts? I think if Dave is willing to confront his fears, which is telling everyone that he did it, we should absolutely set that up. I think it will make their friendship stronger by putting this out in the open. No, no, no, no. This is all going to come out in the edit. let's not try and gaslight each other at this stage of the process. Which would indicate that he is probably lying. I have never felt more awkward, more uncomfortable in my entire life. We're the boobs of this investigation.